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there needs to be a "BRexit" for people Who still be watching Teletubbys |
just had a nightmare that my account was permanently suspended for referring to "the beach boys" as "the beach boy shit boys" |
my follower count nosedives dramatically each time i do this but #The12DaysOfContent must continue http://t.co/QDAFXSrgok |
dictionary.com defines the word "Mania" as "excessive excitement or enthusiasm; craze:". "Ziggy Mania" offered none of these things t o me. |
my teething ring. my salt lick. my feeding tube. all at once |
MAYAN GROUNDHPOG HELD ALOFT BY HAT MAN AT WINTER CEREMONY; STRUCK BY LIGHTNING; TURNED INTO ONE HUMAN SKULL "UH OH NOW WEVE REALLY DONE IT" |
i am looking forward to some god damn serious male grooming discussion when everybody runs out of jokes around 2015 or so |
the only ones authorized to sneak peeks at my dick are 1) my doctor, 2) my dentist, and 3) my lawyer. as for the trolls? No Dice— Bub. |
reminder to all mh followers that if something i post catches your eye you can "Like " or share it to your friends w/ that re-tweet button |
people shoot me a lot of Grief just because my wife is a stolen bar urinal with yogi bear's face printed abovbe the drain,. and they should |
sunnyDayKitten98: just noticed you posted "Ted Lesbo" on the time lione. Is everything ok?
ME: Go away. I dont want you to see me like this. |
Oh i cant wait to shit my pants. I cant wait to walk into the bathroom and shit my pants in there and go home |
im crying because doctors banned the cure for low T again |
lets piSS UP A TOWN!! Everoryone reading this, lets all choose one small town randomly and publicly urinate all over it. Combine our piss |
could any influencers share tips on how to "punish" your self for generating low engagement? might need some Pain to keep my head in the game |
As rioters descended upon the white house, he silently sat in the dark with a revolver & a glass of whiskey. His mouth stuffed with SlimJims |
what do you mean 1800-GOT-JUNK only takes waste "Out" of peoples houses. thats an absurd concept. i will hang the fuck up right now |
gaining 400 pounds so i can tattoo the entire quran onto my disgusitng body |
me,; attempting to heckle a stand up comedian: Hey pal I dont come to where you work and knock the dick out of oyur mouth!! Mother fucker |
think you got it rough? try engineering blog posts while trying to suck down two whole baby bottles full of muscle milk before Solstice ends |
my romantic girl friend sees the super blood moon reflected in my greased back hair and pledges then and there to bow to christ our master |
pissing in to the toilet without getting over 10% of it on the floor and legs is Suad goals |
every time i shit into the toilet i turn around and take a look at it and i am appalled by what i see |
RECENTLY GOT INTO MEDITATION; SOME REAL DEEP SHIT; KEEP "THE VIEW" ON DURING SO I CAN ENHANCE MIND AS WELL AS BODY |
knocn knock. "whos there" israel. "israel who" 2012 is real. buy paste |
these are the same steroids that cops use... and you can now order them online for the very first time |
*hangs political cartoon of obama eating The Jobs with a fork and knife up on the office billboard* you see that? ?? hes esating the jobs. |
#TagABeautifulGirl im good. im really good and normal. i want to take a women to the shooting range and discuss guns culture. i love humor |
Reason For Ban : Unfairly denigrating the SuperPretzel‚Ñ¢ brand. // Date Ban Will Be Lifted : Never |
legitimately undesirable mousetrap grit (wasn't asked for) |
a cop will spank you publicly just for breast feeding your pitbull in public . but when a bug bites you hes all "euhhh i dont arrest bugs" |
doing my favorite " Shit head " activity, kissing a cactus after being fooled nby a mirage |
a reasonable compromise, would be to let the ISPs track our Gaming & reward more net neutraility to guys who get the most headshots & combos |
theres bullshit Cybervamp and regualr cybervamp, and im the regular one, and youre the bullshit one cause you do shit like play mario games |
#FreeSlurpeeDay they dont ever wash the slurpe machines. the cops found a shitty waynes world baseball cap inside one of them |
if i wasnt constantly debilitated from online-induced stress i could probably kick off the ass of any guy on here |
shame on you for assuming I tattooed "Yes Yes Ya'll" on my newborn infant's head for a less than 100% justifiable reason |
nobodys telling me where i should donate 6000 cigarettes. nobodys telling me where theyll do the most help. So i guess ill just smoke them |
my heart goes out to people waking up from comas today & not believing the date actually is the number 2 repeated an insane amount of times |
- barack "knock 'um down" obama -
http://t.co/oW5xdmbLof
- mad rodney - http://t.co/yTiRJSiEMX
- chemtrail -
http://t.co/E4km14dXL9
vote now |
phenomenal http://t.co/OcgIteRKEL |
if u think you can sub tweet me because its 3am you need to Shut Yuh Ass Up |
i deeply apologize for giving like thirty of my followers panic attacks after posting "Whats for lunch " at 1am EST . |
the horny ranter clenches his fist in triumph, having been notified that his youtube account has been upgraded to accommodate 15 minute vids |
the twilight zone episode where the guy blocks everyone on twitter and becomes startled and bewildered when no one is left to give him favs, |
i think that if mensa started getting involved in gang violence, they would easily Win |
ilove the idea of beating the shit out of my Son's rival's dad at the little league game with a suitcase full of cash |
fun idea; for one day lets unlock all the locked accounts & lay their posts bare for the scrutiny of the Public. then ban them for cowardice |
my intense belief: you should not be eligible for the presidency of the United States until you are at least 89 years old |
My Business Logo: a composite of sexy lady legs cut out from a variety of images and arranged to spell the word "Gordo" |
#ToTheGirls2016 im intelligent & clean boy. i have the trigger dicispline of a lion. ive used Torture to cure myself of all mental illness. |
COWORKER: I Just took out a little baggie of DouDou, to eat at work, and Im getting a raise, for being handsome
ME: I Admire your Opinions . |
(truyng to stumble across the next big two-word phrase that gets really popular for no reason) udhhu.. bird hell owl. big hell. owl hell |
thinking back to 9/11.. i wish i had flipped out more. Wondering how different things wou;d be if i had gone more ape shit |
http://tinyurl.com/38xm9um the blood will set u free |
ijust gave some guy in the bathroom $200 and he left. i think i own a toilet now |
if this board was real life id be allowed to embed as many bmp files as I want to. if this board was real life you'd change your tune quick |
i have defibrillator paddles strapped to each ass cheeck and im ready to bring hell to the nerds |
us military strikes deal with PepsiCo to waterboard all terror suspects with Mt Dew??? wish i had some of that Free Dew. who is john galt |
" Trump Sucked Me " and " Trump Sucked Me... Again! " |
goblin: im going to put up a post saying that the fake news is good, and that i like it more than i like the real news
ME: not so fast bitch |
and to you, in his will, your great uncle leaves y ou his most treasured possession, the very "POWER BIEBER" that caused his death |
never subject yourself to the humiliation of using a public spittoon again- simply spit into your diaper, and USER HAS BEEN BANNED FROM TWIT |
the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the "GUN" |
irradiated diaper on 295 blocking up traffic - 500 car pile up - some one come get this thing |
consider how unprepared society would be if every bug and moth flying around just started taking giant shits constantly, like human sized |
"cmon!! post it!"
Oh no, i couldnt possibly. Its too fucked up. Too raw
"cmon!! ya gotta post it!"
Very well: NHL Players should wear hijabs |
if you feel uncomfortable reading about my balls infection, click X. if not, pour a good big beer and let my feed take you to another world, |
"Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate, |
im a journalist now so send me any scoops you might hiave and ill try to post it here if its not perverted |
Thread |
doctor: i can say with absolute certainty that if you do one more weird trick youll die
me: CAPTAIN TIGER's Miracle Corn. LOok it up bastard |
i whip out two good uzis and shoot up a fence with the words "INMATURE PEOPLE" painted on the sid.e my father thanks me for this, via skype |
in order to get to the bottom of the SEXTING craze, goerge stephanopolis takes a shit on a teens chest #NEWmedia #oldmedia #moralfocus |
when you Mock the brand— your putting a Knife in the back of every depressed person who chose not to commit suicide because of Disney IP`s . |
FETID BOZO: Ahhh oil spills are bad
WISE ADULT: the sun will evaporate the oil, & the wheel of mother gaia spins goodly, As does all things, |
im going to start a multimedia network for those who enjoy smacking dingers in the game of base ball and also marry baseball |
everyone please soend me the money equivalent of whatever your reply is worth instead of putting your words underneath my posts from now on |
(in the 'lets get ready to rumble' man's voice) lllllleeets get ready to post some good shit |
boscov's is a highly professional organization Sir, and as such we refuse to engrave "the sex fucker" onto your george foreman panini press |
i would NEVER misappropriate funds from my panera bread gloryhole kickstarter to buy mustard gas,, you BRUTES , oyu selfish, horrible APES |
"this is going to sound so cool" i rev the engine and it explodes, leaving me rolling around on the road with a smouldering dick & ass crack |
i cannot stress enough that my new song "Good town road" is not influenced by any other songs whatsoever |
installing a full scale maypole in my backyard... just thinking the boys are going to love this shit |
got a big piece of velcro stuck to my big ass |
despite everything, i am still looking forward to the release of the sequel, "jungle 3 jungle," which was delayed to 2038 because of trolls. |
when firiing a weapon i dont believe in recoil |
cmon peopl now
smile on your gamers
everuybody get together
try to do good with your Gamers right now |
when the war ended, my grandpa was spit upon but kept his pride—it is in this spirit that i choose to carry the burden of Gamer . #GamerGate |
like this if youre one of the 3% of teens who remembers when music was just guys saying "my name is kid rock" over and over |
"Thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they...pray...in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men." #NationalAssDay |
LOVELY GIRL FOLLOWER: hey.. i noticed you posted 3 barbed remarks about game stop in a row.. is everything ok?
ME: NO, everything is NOT ok, |
guy who bothered putting a suit on for his profile pic and only has like 300 followers. ha ha ha you dip shit!! youve wasted your life!!!!!! |
Geans |
no. i dont care where you hold the "2012 Incest Olympics" but its not gonna be on my roof |
slobber, by definition, can only come from a mouth. anyone claiming to slobber out of their ass is a liar and possibly a scammer |
wearihg some ridiculously shitty looking jeans that look like half of a halloween costume |
please check out my new article "Allergy Season is Fucking Good Actually" which will shatter your precious little minds and make yo'u cry |
might get really into chewing tobacco for some reason. might start calling it "Tobaccy" . Fuck you |
*enrolls in psychology major*
finnally. this will give me the upper hand in dealing with trolls
*fails all courses*
college is fake actually |