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blooper: it is implied that james bond 007 engages in sexual contact. this would never happen in real life because sex is revolting and rude
my favorite angle to park my car at is 45 degrees. i call it "The Golden 45" and if you key the shit out of my doors i only become stronger
how come nobody ever helps me when im playing team foot ball. i beg for the other players to help me and they refuse to #theThursdayNiteRant
plaese help my loathsome son find a professional who will tattoo the cheesecake factory logo onto his chest with no backtalk or jokes
sitting in my car watching 500 episodes of a horrible anime entitled "Shit My Lord" at the recommendation of XenoMarcus.
and the final word i leave all of you pitiful cowards upon this sinful night is "Truth".. hold it clos.e.. use it.. thank you
i think it is good to vote, unless it is inconvenient, or boring to do so. then it might be very bad. i'm sorry for doing politics om here.
anonymous leaks 400 pics of the principals ass on viddler. somewhere a group of police officers stand over a single red rose in reverence
I SO MUCH AS DIP MY NECK AROUND THIS LOG PAGE AND I AM FORCED TO ABSORB GALLONS OF VENOM FROM DISRESPECTFUL CIVILIAN VIPER SWINE #StopTheNSA
it must be said that with the way ur carrying on with your posts, most of u will never realize ur dream of becoming a United States Senator.
GOD: Im getting quite aged in my late years; and I need someone else to be president of heaven Donald R. Trump: My lord... RBG: (Applauding)
my dick sucks balls. pray for my dick
for reasons none of you could ever hope to comprehend, i will now be referring to "Baby mario" as "The baby from mario"
oh look–i failed my forklift operators certification for the 4th fucking time becausse none of the girls on here bothered fucking helping me
if that lawyer didnt want his wall punched, he shouldnt have told me my uncle left me a sony walkman filled with cut up bugs in his will
buying a nice curtain for the whole ass and dick area of my bulk
#3WordsThatWomenHate my dick
Are U for Real #AreUForReal
politifact... waiters should offer to can crush my cans when im done with them... TRUE
Penis Rant - come see the all-time famous "Penis Rant"
http://t.co/CrnIWgR0SP christ. no wonder everyone is so worked up......
wikiHow: Home » Categories » Philosophy & Religion » Paranormal Beliefs » Ghosts - how to revive princess diana and secure the blood throne
you aall act nice to me on this site but if i needed $60,000 for saline injections all over my entire body none of you would give a SHIT
bullshit jeans. dont buy. made of some kind of rat hair. not denim. i took them to my priest and he refused to bless them
"The Shitting Otaku"
saying "augh" out loud every single time I move the phone away from my lap and reveal to my self, my pud, which looks like a coiled turd
thgere should be a side quest in elden ring where you dm a bunch of guys gfs "Im sorry he cares more about his Fucking Stupid game than you"
user "rat_thrower" has received a 500 minute ban for proposing a 28th constitutional amendment
accosted by several of my followers last night.. would nnot fuck off, awful, screeching voices..overpowering urine smell. Terrible. Terrible
"thanks for having a look at my fucking posts..." - the Chaotic man
i speak for every mother fucker when i say i would pay gladly $100000 for a Mature version of Franklin the turtle show
**instnatly teleports 1000 years into the future where theres millions of new things to have good opinions about* HUUhhauih, .. Uh.. BLuahgh
glorious crime spree after being fired from wal mart., expertly hopping fences, chugging all the seeds out of my neighbors bird feeders,
cameras are off now. everyones diapers are frozen to each other and 1000 us marines are now separating them all with swords. horrible scene
there are two type of people in this world, people who know binary and mpeople who win the special olympics because there retarded.
you utter fool. od not come in here asking to see rocky's dick. that is not the spirit of philly
hackers are finding ways to inject jokes underneath my posts and i ask my subscribers to remain calm unti;l ive sorted this all out with 911
wow this 40lb bag of dog food is only $30... why do dogs get all the bargains
id love to get attacked by a bird. id love for a bird to try to fight me. id love to smash it to bits with my bare hands.
Some body is going to take a picture of their white house press pass with a load on it, by 2020
and folks.. we cant forget aobut Tennis Shoes (Audience boos.) Are you Tennis, or are you shoes? Who'd'y'a'think'ya're ? (Applause)
ass is the most poisonous part of the human
and today's Golden Toilet award goes to the cast of Weekend at Bernie's 1 & 2 ofr disobeying the noble qur'an.
IF COOLTRAINERDUSTIN ACTUALLY HAD A CRYSTAL THAT U COULD GAZE INTO 2 SEE ALL EPS OF "MIND OF MENCIA" HE WOULD PRETTY MUCGH HAVE 2 SHOW ME IT
i want to put on a really ugly shirt but i can't because of trolls. AAAGH **unscrews lightbulb from lamp, throws it into toilet, perfect aim
one thing I will Not tolerate on this site is users organizing and planning "Orgies", also known as Group Sex.
i roll a massive barrel labeled "Gangnam Content" into a lavish nyc party attended by high profile artists and accidentally crush a mans leg
http://t.co/PlO3awKXRu i want to help the 3d dog give birth
i left a diaper filled with pulled pork at 1 randomly selected radio shack in the united states. whoever finds it gets to #BringHomeTheBacon
handsome single adutl man contracts scurvy after eating nothing but oscar mayer lunchables for 4 years and blames his dentist
two truths & a lie: (1) i use the fatsuit from big momma house 2 as a corset (2) im in trouble at the dump (3) please dont reprint this info
spent the last 14weeks creating enigmatic rock formations to distract cops while i pump all the fresh produce in town full of anabolic roids
YoshiGod9 says that if you shit into a wasp nest they wont sting your ass because theyre too dumb to know what shit even is. Prove him wrong
the classics(art carney, sid caesar) woud SHIT THEMSELVES if they saw these newer performers who INSIST on displaying their genitals always,
i, turdghoul fuckass, swear to uphold the constitution of the united states of america, so help me Piss. ok sorry, now let me do it for real
my reaction when people react to pictures of my reaction when im reacting to something good http://t.co/N0wsIZfLOS
wife wont speak to me because i thought the movie "night at the muesum" was a porno film about a guy fucking suits of armor or something
jungle of bad ass toilet attachments and accessories turned against me. robot arms shoving toilet paper in my mouth and restraining my dick
glue man here, poking in to this site. big glue guy. just seeking atlanta house wife, miss Right Lady, to Glue me, to the glue
I HAVE COMBED THE INNERMOST REACHES OF DARKNET TO BRING YOU THIS REALLY SICK PICTURE OF PEOPLE FUCKING EACH OTHER IN SUITS OF ARMOR
yesterday i bought a 26ct bag of fun size snickers bars as penance for wasting a police man's time
the worst thing you can do in death is make the R.I.P. on your grave actually stand for Racism Is Power
AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP
#AboveCowards
this needs to be addressed. if you see me along the road, please do not intentionally ram me with your car. this is the 4th time this happen
The absolute shit Im forced to put up with as a content Producer. Ive sacrificed my basic human rights in order to placate U fucking people.
I Have beatten a game of solitare after having to restart only 26 times. I am a magnificent gamer prince
oh every day i m getting Mail like, "It drives me Nuts! You are a fucked bitch, your posts stink my ass... But youre not wrong." and smiling
telling secretary to hold my calls so i can spend some time lookinh at girls' avatars with a loupe
everyones always using selfie sticks these days instead of attending lectures about string theory and shit and im so mad i could crank off
dippin my head out there for some hardball strapthug coplikes to handle my doofus and preg me down ,no wise guy shit #nerdland
obelisk rises from the volcano - what sorcery is this ??!! carved along its side are the words "POWER BIEBER"; 1600 birds myteriously die
when i scroll too far down the google image search results for "rat" and start getting pics of ground hogs and shit... Lets talk about this.
me and the boys pooled together our total life savings of $1789.34 in a last ditch effort to rescue the failing quiznos brand from the brink
diddy's kong quest is soon to be considered a turner classic michelin star Kong Quest and gamer fans are screaming loud.
- piss gback better - shit back better i will come up with more soon
A MAD TYRANT has cracked the admin password for IRC chatroom #DiaperIsrael -- the entirety of DARKNET is in peril
i forgot to take off my joke shock ring before jerking off and the joke is on me because i flipped out and shot loads all over my curtains
mixing various wine's together and making authentic "Al dente" pasta by straining it one minute early, as instructed by the box
CANT ATTEND GRANDMAS FUNERAL SHIRTLESS??? WISH I WAS IN THAT CASKEt
stepping into fiveguys hq, just listing hundreds of brand new chef-inspired value combos off the top of my head. Boom. just like that. 1 2 3
what donest kill me makes me stronger ((gains infinite strength from being not killed by infinite things))
kneading my dick and nuts like a wad of dough on a bench at pay less shoe store. i do not appear to be enjoying myself. im frowning actually
i would love to lift all of my pathetic, frail followers by the ankles and huck them like tomahawks
that three stooge thing where you run around in circles on the floor horizontally is actually a vital component of my yakuza training
buiyng a massive 30lb bottle of pills labelled "PussyAdvantage" for a girl on here who told me im like a more Honest version of Dane Cook...
I Hope So http://t.co/tOuAGUy2j1
"And th mark...theyst fhall beckon..bearers of the Mask.. doth verily, andth post really good shit, online" nostradamus predicting Anonymous
fully embracing the power of Social Media at the age of 56 and changing my name to Kim Jong Lexus
slow transitioning my brand name to "Mr.Simplygood" over the couse of years 2022-2026. do not freak out
im Sucking 1000
Pull up a chair kiddies, its Thread time. Let's get to the point. I messed up. I said that the super bowl is a game show, when it cle(1/66)
i was going to do it but I got scared
us siamese twins need to stick together
im a tennis ball and my primary mode of transportation is being pushed around by animal piss
piss is the main threat. touching it, seeing it, etc
unlike normal humans, geniuses do not like bull shit
These are the most important jeans you will ever wear
scenario: the air and space museum drops Space and becomes the Air and Spade museum, devoting large sections to David Spade and his comedies
driving your car through my fence and bbreaking all my potted plants with a hammer and kidnapping my dog is little dick energy