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might fuck around and post "The Masked Shitter" , as a sort of commentary on a certain tv show with a similar name
i hate all of "Groupthink" , except for the groupthought that group thinks that groupthink is bull shit
Fuck Otis. I will never follow a bastard such as this.
let's talk about planes now. the pilots are flying them up too damn high. it's dangerous. I don't like it. got to make them lower
ive never heard of this "europe" but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
ill be hiding under the floorboards and snorting herbs for stress relief energy until i am ready to face my guinea pigs again
Bloomberg Opinion has cleansed the earth with Absolute Fire once again! " this is Brouh Moment to me!! "
groundhog sees a nude mans gyrating ass instead of shadow, predicting 6 weeks of erupting yellowstone supervolcano
the dickwolfs controversey. Go #worstpickuplines
pregcore
guy who invented Prayer: This is so sick. Im going to get so much free shit from god. This is the cleanest scam yet. So glad I invented this
perhaps one of my most egregious viral marketing blunders was inciting radical islam by reading my controversial Dick Clark tweets on vimeo
"Clit Goon" is actively trying to avoid me, when I`ve stated repeatedly; if he comes forward with a genuine apology- I will not pursue him.
#worldpenguinday please cancel whatever the fuck this is and make a global holiday for oinline content producers with ring worm please.
"ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
im going to crush you in to powder. im gonna powder your ass
my timeline.. is my empire. oftentimes i find my self scrolling through it and just taking it all in;, feeling little to no shame whatsoever
do speak to me about the economy, Cuisine trends, and middle east things. dont speak to me abou joe dirts balls, and killing me.
as far as im concerned. "fidget spinners" is DEAD IN THE WATER
i pay good money to load my sons bag with treats, and if Erasmus Infowars Copfucker wants to devour them in the university library, so be it
im a husband , i am a lover , i am a gamer, i am a Slave, im a nit wit, im a goalie, but above all else, im a Koch Brother
my name is steve jobs. i am a successful ceo in charrge of the apple corporation. #Joke
Can we stop the posts please guys. Can we all cool it with the gags, riffs, spoofs, and epic shit. People are trying to do mental health
big biker dude pops a wheelie on harley & simultaneously unleashes a load of shit from his nude ass.his license plate says "Rape" #RapeJokes
i have been carrying my prophet mohammed body pillow everywhere since i was 14 and i will never forgive the coyote who yanked it off of me
Im not going to lie, it sucks shit that the ICU capacity is 0% but Im thinking they can squeeze me in for a tad if i raise enough of a fuss,
hey whos this guy going around telling all of our troops about "eskimo pussy"
posting my 680 credit score durihg peak girl hours
"Master Distiller Jeff Arnett explains what makes Sinatra Select's character as smooth and bold as the man himself, Frank Sinatra." it piss
COP: Tell me citizien. (prepares kill shot) Do you believe in God ME (realizing i left my "Do you Believe in god" cheat sheet at home): Uuhh
Cart Man
lord knows i help my self from time to time...
two cars in the garage, a white picket fence, and monster energy logos embroidered into both ass pockets
id like to grab each of you by the ankles and dip your entire screaming head into a bucket of honey, everyone Ratios me, its all a setup
oh so when a pro foorball player makes a fake GF everoyne sucks his dick but when nice boys like me do it the cops demolish her with batons,
"my daughter is dying. Help" no. i wil never sellout "kfc's making a burrito out of pigeon turds. hit us up with that signal boost" hell yes
ihate it when a doddering Nanny yanks me by the ear lobe, right when im about to click "Like" on a big plate of sausages
Im going to shut the computer off until people learn to be more mature about life. In tge mean time, suck my dick
there are secret offices all over the country full of men in business attire who consume porn for 9 hrs and go home. they dont even jerk off
Turds And Piss Found At Usama's Compound >> Decorated Royal Navy Commander Lenny 'Hotdogs' Burbit States As Follows: "He Loved Too Shit"
due to the actions of bastards and human slime, my agent has advised me to deactivate my account for 18 hrs, to punish my disloyal followers
laughing all the way to the bank, but only because the guy walking in front of me is wearing a twisted t-shirt............
you need to realize that when you make a joke about the queen dying it is the british version of 9/11. You are spitting in the face of 9 /11
i overhear 2 social media experts discussing hardcore brand strats for 2015. Next Level. i immediately duck into a restroom & hyperventilate
im an adult, and i deserve to listen to the verison of the super bowl shuffle where thw word "Ass" is not censored by the referee `s whistle
lknow what pisses me off?? people who drink milk and spit the milk back into their glasses while making a smug expression. also teenage .
trying to drink a can of beer .
A wieght gain tribute to Princess Daisy
http://t.co/xaPZhpuOzf
Im the guy who exclusively wipes his ass with the disposable seat covers
im starting a new feature on twitter called "Are U for Real". Check it out
dual wielding toilet paper
incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
its govenrment shutdown time mother fuckers *steals a shitload of small eggs from a bird nest* ha ha ha
how do i add " GUNS " to my posts ........
me age 2: i love my data so much. my data is so fucking nice. if anyone stole my data id be pissed me age 99: FUCK!!
"not all los believe in shangri-la. I personally do believe there something to it. not gonna go into detail do to harrasment via youtube"
i believe that while i was Resting, Aeris_Nader, the snake that he is, dropped a pinch of baking soda into my ass crack and poisoned me
the most wild thing you can say when walking into a restaurant or a kitchen "it smells like fuckin food in here"
i just found out tombstones have dead people underneath them. fucked up
ah, i can smell it,. its just about ready. *opens the oven up and pulls out a sshitty burnt up ritz cracker* my perfect boy's lunch
"CODGER LOOSES HIS LUNCH WHILE HAVING A WANK"
ironing my suspender straps and treating them with powders... in the privacy of my study...making the nit wits and losers absoltuley furious
the famous "dewey defeats truman" photograph except it's me holding up the hedaline that says jacking off cures prostate cancer
You trying to eat the dried up tooth paste I spit up out of my mouth? You little pieces of Shit?
if i had $1000000, or even $100000, i'd marry a woman with a completely unfuckable, solid gold Pussy. and i would look at it and say "Wow"
CNN: SHITLOAD OF DEAD WOLVES FOUND IN NYC SUBWAY SYSTEM INSPIRES US ALL AS A NATION TO REFLECT UPON MOTHERHOOD AND PERHAPS OUR SELF'S
please God if you're out there I ask that you turn my praying hands into bird seed so that I can no longer bother you with dumb ass reqUests
the other son wipes his ass too much. goes thrugh absurd amounts of tissue & has effectively thrown any respect for my household to the Dogs
Clipart Illustration of a Frustrated Cowboy Holding A Skunk That's Been Torturing His Farm With Stinky Spray
number one— in february of '14 the woke mob called me "Gay" for defending my wifes decision to wear a hula skirt. ive since busted this myth
went to sons baptism. i yeled "Not so fast Champ" and punched the priest & spalshed holy water around. i lost my child in the ensuing chaos
just doing some nude sunbathing in this gender neutral target restroom. i hope i dont get my dick sucked
im bringing back the "bean dog" shit, but . Ok hear me out. its nft now
badboy Michael Jackson Rip 1958-2009 "Deth" http://tinyurl.com/l7atle #dead #iranelection #michaeljackson
*drops Dunston Checks In on Laserdisc on the roulette table * king me
i feel like some people don't appreciate the effort i put into TTNR. frankly, all i can do is feel embarrassed for you. it's a good feature
thge concept of "forgiveness' is some stupid religious shit conceived to allow rich folks to beat the hell out of women #grammys #teambreezy
rooting through some damn womens' purses. all of the things in these purses suck. i don't give a shit
ernest shits himself stupid. ernest nuts him self #twistedErnestFilms #tgif
(does some notes on a guitar) I Have been through my life a good man. I am a clever man (does some more notes and fucks it up) I m nice too
you say "36,000 pounds of chicken nuggets recalled by the Tyson Foods corporation due to possible rubber contamination" ... i say "LUNCH'
What The Fuck Is "Human Dignity" And Why Does It Have A Higher Metacritic Score Than "The Waterboy"
mabye this decal of the troll face saying "DID YOU TRY RESTARTING IT??" will make the boys in IT respect me &stop kicking my cube walls down
thats one small Ass for a man,. one tiny jeans for man kind
at first i thought that Science was a shit waste of time. then somebody did a meme of it,. and now... hooboy.. now i like it
I lvoe giving thousands of dollars to my real friends while kicking my fake friends asses
a hair-thin string of spit slowly descends from my lips & delicately makes contact w/ my crumpled up dick. i raise my head & say"ok im good"
ladys please step on my toxic male Ass! Go nuts stomping my ass out like a cigarette until I hate it! Until I think its a bad idea!
my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
200k/yr media job where we all wear sweater vests, kiss each other & try to convince people biden is technically a "Molester" not a "Rapist"
ive just dipped every boxcutter in my house into a mug of real life brown recluse venom. Now's not the time to get stupid with my ass
im laughing at this really good ad http://t.co/JMoAYCGH19
id like to be able to watch one Reba intro on youtube without seeing a bunch of comments from 3rd world nations threatening to "fuck" the WB
if you dm me some dog shit business offer and dont immediately offer me a $10000+ Apology fee youre fucked more than anything ever
Everoyone please. Stop sending in things like "Cum" when snack brands do the "guess the mystery flavor" contest. They will stop doing them
gotta pick one man. the night ain't over until you pick a favorite pope. "all of them" is not an acceptable answer. "clement xii"?? Fuck you
i love wearing clothes with words on them. like a fucking caveman
NYT: retired Geologist from indiana proposes one Simple fact which will flip every thing you thought you knew about "THE N-WORD" on its head
nobody believes me that once i was shitting in a cave & the sound of it hiting the floor replicated the Nintendo switch snap sound perfectly