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t3_4bus7k | relationships | Roommate [23F] gets passive aggressive whenever I [23F] talk to her BF | I found my roommate on Craigslist a year ago. She seemed nice and normal at first, and we had no problems. The only person she hangs out with is her BF [24M], 7 days a week. Sometimes she'd bring him over to our apartment, and I had no issues with this. I noticed she was possessive of him from the beginning, but I thought little of it.
A few months ago, my BF and I broke up. My roommate tried to comfort me a little, and in the process, I mentioned that her BF is very nice to her. I meant it as a genuine compliment, though to be honest, her BF is nice to the point where he's almost a pushover.
Ever since then, whenever my roommate brings her boyfriend over and catches me talking with him alone, a visible frown shows on her face. This has happened increasingly often. She gets grumpy when he asks me about my day, and glares at me whenever she and her BF are occupying the living room and I happen to be in the kitchen nearby.
Now, I am NOT a flirty person by nature (plus I have a crush on a coworker, not my roommate's BF), and I have zero interest in stealing anyone's BF. I don't actively try to talk to her BF alone either. But if we both happen to be in the kitchen or another common space, I have to make polite small talk, right?
**MAIN INCIDENT:** Last night, her BF was in our apartment before she came home from work. They do this often. He was waiting in her room, and I was doing my own thing in the living room. When she texts him that she's about to get home, he comes out to the living room to await her, and has a few chats with me while waiting. Roommate overhears us talking and enters the apartment with a moody expression. I say hi to her, and she completely ignores me.
Now, because of her passive aggressive behavior, I'm worried whenever I even say hello to her BF. I don't know the best way to approach this. | Roommate brings her boyfriend over to OUR apartment, but gets mad whenever I talk to him. Outright ignored me when I said hello the last time this happened. What is the best approach to this? |
t3_38iebz | tifu | TIFU by calling my server a disgusting sloth-like creature | Running late for work this morning, I decided I would hit up a drive thru for tea and a bagel. When I got to the window the server guy has on a hand written name badge that says "Jaba". Who couldn't resist a name like that??
In a totally chipper, happy and joking voice I say, "Jaba - like Jaba the Hut? Very cool."
Sweet baby Jesus, he unleashed on me. Apparently that made me racist (he was black, I am white). I'm a bitch. I'm an asshole. Who the fuck do I think I am? You name it, I got it. Thankfully I already had my tea and could see my bagel was in a bag next to him. Otherwise I'm sure I would have gotten some sort of present in my food. I drove away not only as fast as I could get out of the drive thru, but vowing not to go back there again. | Called my drive thru server Jaba the Hut. Got my ass ripped apart. Gotta learn to keep my stupid nerd comments to myself. |
t3_3b0cdz | relationships | Me [25 F] always the FWB/Fuck buddy. How can I be taken seriously? | Hey guys, I'm a normal person. However, for as long as I can remember, I go out on dates with guys, either in school or who I met at work/online, and after 1-2 dates, they decide I'm FWB material and nothing more. Alternatively, they'll try to hook up with me and when I decline it, they run away.
I've been told I dont do anything wrong, but that spending time with me is nothing special. I've also been fed every line in the world, like I'm not interested in a relationship right now, I might be gay (seriously), etc.
I've gone along with it a couple of times, and these same guys wind up leaving me for a different girl, who they immediately get into a serious, committed relationship with (two have led to marriage). Even if me and the guy do have things in common, I am always put in the "she's pretty enough to fuck but not drawn/interested in more" type situation. They don't want to "lead me on" to think they want more from me.
I've dated a wide range of guys and the sentiments seem to be pretty equal. Even guys who are not "as good" (or whatever) by certain girl's standards, take zero interest in me. I've really worked on myself and even guys who I have common interests with are really just seeing me as good for sex but nothing more. I don't ooze "sex appeal" either really, beyond my own body itself, but I don't act in a particularly sexual way.
I'm not saying anyone has to date me, but I just feel like, confused why I'm giving off these vibes? I'm not necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but I just want to not be seen as a piece of meat and to know that if the right guy presented himself, that I could avoid giving off those vibes.
Anyone else in the same position?
Men: Have you done this before? What criteria would make me into this person? | Always the FWB/fuck buddy, never the girlfriend. Different guys, who share connections with me. What gives? |
t3_2pxg4w | relationships | My [17/f] boyfriend [16/m] of three months told me my anxiety is annoying. I am not sure how to respond. | Yesterday, my boyfriend told me my anxiety was annoying. Now,
before r/Relationships gets mad at him about it, I want to clarify that he was as nice as possible about it, and he explained to me that he
was not mad at me, and that he loved me, but that he would like for
me to be less anxious.
My anxiety, however, is not pointless. It is mainly about his mother.
His mother is extremely paranoid and anxious, and she will not allow
him to date. She is also extremely religious, and just to give an
example of how paranoid she is, she will not allow her family to say
"diamond" because it sounds like "demon." So the majority of my
anxiety is based off of the fear that she will find out that he and I
are more than just friends, and rip he and I apart.
To give background on why it would be so bad to lose him, he is my
first boyfriend who is not abusive. He also is extremely attractive,
funny, and he makes me feel loved. This is more rare than I could
explain, so I worry extensively about losing him.
Now back to the important part. Since my boyfriend told me to stop
being so anxious last night, I have been struggling with how to react.
I have no one else to talk to, since he is my best friend and my parents aren't much better than his, and I really value the openness
between he and I, and I am afraid to lose it. However, I do not want to be annoying, so I am considering shutting up all of my anxiety and
worries inside so that he cannot see. I am afraid that doing this will
cause he and I to grow apart, but like I said, I don't want to be
annoying. What do I do? | My boyfriend told me (nicely) that he would like me to stop worrying so much because it annoys him. What should I do? Should I just stop telling him when I worry, or is there another option? |
t3_t6wmp | AskReddit | To the Medics of Reddit | Okay, relatively young person here(17), and a lurker of Reddit for a while up until recently. Post high school I knew what I wanted to do was become an EMT, as helping people in every day situations is one of my passions. However, ever since I was aware of death I've always had one nagging thought in my head. In the medical field, you see people die all the time. Sometimes in horribly gruesome ways. I'm no stranger to it - Reddit has no small amount of the gross examples - yet my mind couldn't fathom the idea of actually witnessing death occur before my very eyes. I always told myself, should the day come where I see someone die... I would loose my innocence. It may seem cheesy, but that's how it feels. On one hand I want to help people and save them, but on the other there is the tad feeling of apprehension when getting into this. | Medics of Reddit, how do you cope with death? What was it like the first time you witnessed death on the job? EMT hopeful here, and I want to follow through. |
t3_4ghecf | relationships | Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F], I think I'm starting to resent her | I like this girl a lot, she's really nice to me, she's very devoted to me, and I care a lot about her. For the most part, her and I have the same goals in life; we want the same future. In that regard, things are great.
But lately, every time I talk to her, I start questioning why I'm still with her.
The biggest thing is that she's very insecure, and she gets sad at the smallest things. I'm not at all trying to belittle her emotions, but it's really hurtful to have to keep reassuring her that I'm not attracted to other girls (it makes me feel like I'm a bad person or something). And though this might seem a little selfish, it really brings me down, because it seems like every time I talk to her, something small ends up making her sad, and then I have to spend an hour consoling her and making her feel better. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person. I understand that it's part of a relationship to do that, and I do care deeply about her feelings, but it's getting to the point where this happens just about every single time we talk, and it's making me begin to dread speaking to her. I want the person I'm in a relationship with to be my partner in life, but I'm starting to feel like she's my enemy in some way, because every time I say something she disagrees with, she just starts getting sad. I know that's not healthy at all for a relationship.
I do need to point out though that she's not immature about it. She never tries to guilt me, and I don't think she's trying to manipulate me or anything.
I know it seems like I should end things, but I want things to work, because I really care a lot about her and don't want to lose her. But this relationship is starting to make me feel miserable, and I think I'm starting to resent her. What should I do? What could I say? | Girlfriend gets sad very easily, it's starting to make me dread talking to her and resent her. I'm desperate for help. |
t3_3z6qo3 | relationships | My (18f) ex girlfriend (17f) sent me a pic of her and my current boyfriend (17m) and I dont know why am i upset about it. | history: two years ago, i (then 16) felt in love with a girl (then 15) for the first time. Lets call her Ann. Our common friend introduced us about a year before i felt in love with her. We became really good friends, we spent amazing summer together (as friends), then we realised we share same feelings for each other. We never defined any relationship between us, but i would describe what was going on between us as dating. Then on our friends party, we had sex for the first time then Ann broke my heart and made out with some guy the same night. We never really talked since.
now: now i (18 f) have an amazing boyfriend (17 m) and im really happy eith him. He knows Ann -she went to the same elementary school as him- and he also knows about my history with her. But tonight, they both were at their friends party and Ann sent me a photo of her and him- just normal picture of them two in a mirror, both smiling and seems like they are having fun. I dont know why am i so upset about this and i see no reason to be so mad. So why am i mad at them, reddit? | My (18f) ex girlfriend (17f) sent me a pic of her and my current boyfriend (17m) and I dont know why am i upset about it. |
t3_1rxjjj | relationships | Me [24/F] with my crush [23/M] whose never had a girlfriend | For 6 months I had a crush on a man that I met on a dating website. We met once and he was really awesome. When I told him I liked him, he ignored me. I moved on and got into an abusive relationship for 5 months (it's now ended) where during that time I developed feelings for my old crush's best friend. His best friend has never had a girlfriend and has been rejected by every girl he's ever approached. How do I go about hinting at him without sounding phony? I don't want to sound fake. I really truly have feelings for him. He is 23 and I am 24. I'm literally terrified of rejection. Also, would it be awkward since I used to have a 6mo crush on his best friend? | I have a crush on my old crush's best friend who has never had a girlfriend and I am not sure how to go about this. Advice? |
t3_4jgnf0 | relationship_advice | 18F looked through my Facebook and broke up with 19M me | It's been a rough relationship where she's made a couple of mistakes before. I gave her a chance and we got back together. Recently we fought and she asked for my Facebook password, which I gave to her, and found out during our break I was seeing this other girl. She was also seeing another guy but I didn't specifically tell her that I was with someone. Now she blocked me on everything but one media outlet. I just want to know what I can do to try to salvage this. I love her a lot and I'm willing to do almost anything. But apologizing doesn't seem to be enough. I wish she could've given me the chance that I gave her... | I'm trying to get my girlfriend to forgive me for not telling her the extent of my relationship with another girl during our break. |
t3_1a80pn | relationships | I (m20) dating a girl (f17) and I need advice! | So I've been dating this girl for a few months now, we had a thing a few years ago but decided it wasn't the right time. We've been dating again for 3 months, she has been my best friend for years and I don't know what to do. I got out of a relationship because my ex cheated on me with my friend and it's left me with trust issues I guess. Now don't get me wrong I trust her, it's just some of the guys she's friends with. So her prom is in a few months and she's bringing this guy who raises a few flags with me. He tried breaking me and my last girlfriend up and there is no question, he will be her prom date. And to be honest I'm okay with it, but she wants me to go aswell. I just don't think I can handle sitting there watching his have his arm around my girlfriend knowing that he is inlove with her. She's mad because I don't want to go and watch that and at this point I really don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her but when we talked about it last night, she was really mad. We're having a talk in a few hours when she is off, but I don't know what to say! Help! | Girlfriend has a friend who raises flags with me and she's taking him to prom and I have to sit and watch it |
t3_1967uf | relationship_advice | (17/m) getting back into the whole dating thing | Welp, it begins with me breaking up with my ex almost 10 months ago. All was good until i met this new girl and hit it off. This was probably about 3 months ago now. We were great for eachother. Cutting the story short, she played me and fuck her. Now my issue. There's this girl who's one of my friends since kindergarten and we're close. I don't want shit to get weird between us, but i really care about her, and she feels the same way (or so she's showing it). The mixed signals i'm getting are confusing the shit outta me. So reddit, wat i do. | broke up with ex, got played, got close with great friend since kindergarten and have mutual feelings as it seems but don't wanna screw things up |
t3_4jzphi | relationships | My [17M] friends keep coming into my work and annoying me. How can I deal with them | Hi Reddit I am hoping you can help me. I am literally at my wits end, I almost lost my temper today at my moms Cafe I work at in front of customers.
I live in a small town in America, only 12 thousand people live here and I love that. My mom owns a Cafe here and I work in there everyday after school. Business is really good and mom is doing really well financially and I am happy for her. I am a junior in high school.
I am actually still at the Cafe I just finished locking/cleaning up and I am about to start heading to my friends place. But today mom left me to run the Cafe for a while. She had to go the Middle School for a urgent parent teacher interview with my sister. My sister has been acting up in class alot apparently.
She can leave me in charge because I can make the entire menu in my sleep. It's become like second nature now
So I started working at 3:30 pm and at about 4 my friend Savannah came in. She is not the problem she always come in for a Rocky Road Mocha. I spoke to her for a little bit and I am going over to her house any minute to hang out.
My guy friends came in at around 5 and were just driving me insane. There is this section of the shop where we have bags of coffee beans. You can buy a bag for $20, they were messing up the display and disorganising everything. They interrupted another customer when he was ordering from me. They sat down at a table and they kept yelling over at me to " have fun". They ordered Milkshakes and blueberry muffins and they had no money to pay. So I am taking it out of my pay I am getting
I almost lost it at them, everything in my body was wanting to yell at them and tell them to get the f*** out. I controlled myself the Cafe was packed. What can I do the next time this happens?
Thanks for all your response and taking the time to read. I am heading to my friends Savannah house now, so I may not reply right away. I will when I get to her place | My friends came into my work and were pestering me and annoying other customers. How can I handle this situation next time |
t3_2hpfp2 | self | A "friend" owes me a decent amount of money and has it and won't pay it back or contact me at all. Any suggestions? | Backstory - I lent a friend $400 when he couldn't afford his rent back in June. He told me he would pay me back the following week. He fell into some rough times still after and pushed it back to July which was fine by me. Slowly he kept pushing the days back and trying to come up with new ways to pay me back until eventually he stopped responding to me. I lost my job over a month ago and have been struggling with cash and to top it off my grandmother is stage 4 Parkinson's and I need to purchase a plane ticket out to see her ASAP... so obviously the $400 would cover that easily. I attempted to explain this all to him and he still refuses to answer messages. On top of it all he posts about his new (more expensive) apartment he just moved into on facebook, constantly, and shows off all the cool crap he's buying or doing. Wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and if so what did they do or say to get the money they were owed. | Lent friend $400. I lost job and grandmother is very ill, he has money again and wont pay me back. What to do? |
t3_oyqb3 | AskReddit | Did I just agree to a date? I'm honestly not sure... | Here's the whole story
I got in a wreck, It was the other drivers fault. The other insurance company accepts liability. Their insurance calls to finish up on the claim. Talking to the claims rep of the other party and she says she'd like to meet in person to discuss the claim further, doesn't ask if I'll have the car on me, just says we'll get lunch on Friday. I don't know of any car insurance company that does this... and everyone I've talked to says this doesn't ever happen...
we're on for lunch tomorrow and I don't know what I should expect. | Meeting with insurance claims woman in person after the whole claim has been settled. Does this happen? Or is this something else? |
t3_1pltey | relationships | Me [25F] with two partners [25M/29M] of over a year, longing for solitude, don't know if I actually want to break up | First of all, thanks to anyone who reads this. I'm normally more of a commenter, but this time I'd really like some advice.
This year has been tough for me. I quit my good job in a horrible company and exchanged it for an awful job in a great company as it was the only thing I could find. This came with the realisation that my qualifications aren't worth jack and so I've committed myself to learning new skills that will help my job prospects in the future. My self-confidence took a real knock.
I love studying. However, over the past months I feel like it's been getting harder and harder to keep all balls in the air. My work-life balance is out of whack. I spend most of my time studying or trying to motivate myself to study. This is compacted by the fact I work weekends, so on my free days my friends are at work. I've been depressed for several months, but it seems to have improved recently.
Now to my partners: I see each one once or twice a week (average of 3 nights total per week). They are each lovely in their separate ways and are a huge part of my life. They support me in so many ways. My life would certainly be darker without them.
However, I've recently been finding myself fantasising about being single. I think about how much time I'd have. How few responsibilities I'd have. How much less scheduling I'd have to do. How much more time I would have to put into my friendships (I moved towns 6 months ago and my friendships are not strong).
Reddit, I have no idea whether I should listen to these feelings and just go it alone for a while. I'm putting myself under so much pressure and am almost constantly stressed. I'm quick to lash out and any arguments affect me much more than they usually would. I believe once I manage to switch jobs, things will finally normalise again, but I can't be sure and also don't know when this will be.
I would really like to hear your opinions, as I'm really not sure I'm thinking straight. | Spend all my time studying so I won't have to work a job I hate forever; exhausted, stressed and wondering whether being single might alleviate some of the pressure, although my partners are fantastic. |
t3_2om7fb | Advice | Having second thoughts about what I really want to do with my future. Pls send help. | I'm 18 now, and on the verge of starting college. For the longest time, I had big plans of going to college after high school and majoring in Computer Information Science (CIS) and minoring in Business Administration (BA), graduating, and getting a good, well paying career in a related field so that I can be able to provide for a family in the future. Sounds pretty good right? Well the beginning of the year, I applied to my college of choice and got accepted a couple months later for the Spring semester of 2015. I'm on track to start in January.
So far so good.
Well the past couple months I've become unsure of if this is really what I want to do and pursue a job in the IT field. Thing is though, these are the plans that I've told everybody (friends and family) for the longest time. My parents have always had some financial trouble throughout the years and have always said that all they want is for their kids to do better than they did. So they were ecstatic when I chose to study CIS and BA. They're all so proud of me for getting accepted to this school (A pretty notable school in the area. And they only have a 9% acceptance rate) and of the degree I planned on pursuing. I'm just worried about what the entirety of my friends and family would think if I just out of the blue decide that college isn't for me and to pursue other plans for my future.
Which leads to the alternative.
I like to work with my hands...like building things and working on cars. I have little knowledge of either, but it's something that I enjoy doing and would love to learn more about. Now...my SO that I met at my high school graduation (I was homeschooled so neither of us had ever met before, but that's a story for another day) who recently moved to Arizona...her whole family is made up of mechanics and carpenters. My thoughts are that I could move out to Arizona to be with her and apprentice under her family and learn more about working on cars and the like. | I had a solid plan of going to school and pursuing a good degree, now I'm unsure that college is right for me and am contemplating moving out of state to be with my SO and learn auto maintenance from her family. |
t3_m6prs | AskReddit | What's the worst lie you told a child to shut them up? | Here's mine: My med school has an outreach program that teaches healthy eating and exercise to fifth graders at a local inner city elementary school. This year we (5 of us adults) have a group of 13 hyperactive, loud, angry, disobedient, attention-craving girls. They really don't want to be there and think it's "dumb."
Since one of the 5 adults was absent today (didn't feel like going) and I was tired of their constant yelling, I broke down and lied. I told them he wasn't there because he was in the hospital. Surprisingly, they actually cared, so we spent 45 minutes making him "get well soon cards" with healthy eating themes. There was no yelling for those 45 minutes, just peace and motha fuckin' quiet. | I lied to a group of children about a teacher being in the hospital so they would shut up and spend 45 minutes making "get well soon" cards |
t3_dxrbi | Pets | Reddit, my cat suddenly started acting strange.. i need your help! | My 10 month old cat started acting strange recently. He is a rescue so he is normally skittish around people he does not know. With me though, he is an attention whore. When i come home at the end of the day and he hears my voice, he runs from wherever he is in the house to come greet me.
The last few days he has been acting weird. He hides underneath my covers on my bed and won't come out. When i uncover him he freaks out and buries his face in the blankets trying to sneak back under. When i come home he comes out to see me but hides underneath the dining room table. When i go over to pet him he runs away. He never ever runs away from me.
Then, last night i put him in his cat tower, where he goes when he is scared, and he sat there for about 15 seconds and freaked out. His eyes starting darting around the room like he was following something, he jumped off the top of the tower, jumped up onto my bed and dove underneath the covers. This is really unusual for him and i think something is wrong. I've heard that cats act this way sometimes when they are sick? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. | My cat is acting strange, hiding under covers (too terrified to come out), under chairs, in the basement and running away from me when he is normally affectionate and social. |
t3_1n83fk | loseit | A question about macros. | So I've been lurking on /r/loseit, /r/leangains, and even /r/gainit for a while. My current goal is to get down to about 10% body fat and then begin to slow bulk. Currently I'm about 180 lbs and though I'm not sure what my current body fat percentage is my weight loss goal is to get down to 160. If I had to guess I'd say my body fat percentage is somewhere between 14-20%.
Sorry for the preface, I'll get right to the point. From what I understand, to maintain as much muscle as possible while on a cut it's important to eat 1g of protein per pound of your goal body weight minimum. This helps to reduce muscle loss while cutting. A simple formula I found that I really like is to eat < 10 * current body weight a day to lose weight. Obviously this is simplifying what can be a complicated formula based on your activity level and other factors, but when double checked against the calculator in the FAQ this number hits a middle ground between the weight loss number and the more rapid weight loss number so I'm going to give it a try.
Using this simple formula, 10 * 180lbs = 1800 cals a day. To maintain as much muscle as possible I'm going to be eating at least 160g of protein a day maybe 170g just for satiety and because meat is delicious. SO, if a single gram of protein has 4 calories that means out of my 1800 cals/day 640-680 of them are coming from protein. My question is does it make a huge difference where the other calories come from?
I realize that getting those calories from nutrient rich foods like vegetables is ideal, but hypothetically speaking, once I hit my protein requirements for the day would I still lose weight if the remainder of my calories came from nothing but ice cream? (As long as I stayed under 1800.) Please don't take this example too seriously, it's an intentionally extreme scenario. I'm just wondering if a certain split between carbs and fat is more ideal for weight loss. | 1g of protein per pound of body weight, **check.** So ideally where should the rest of my calories come from? Does it matter? |
t3_qi2ik | running | How long did it take you to "heal" from ITBS? | I put heal in quotes because I am not sure if I am ever going to heal.
Putting the following in a numbered list for easy reading!
1. I ran my first Marathon October 15th of 2011, and I have been injured since. Mile 19 of the Marathon is when the pain came on, so I limped the last 7 miles and finished at 4:46 in incredible pain.
2. Took a month off from running and then did a 5K, and the pain as still there, showing up after 100 meters.
3. Had an MRI done and everything checked out OK, except for some inflammation around the IT band close to the knee (where my pain is).
4. Took November, December, January and February off from running.
5. Started seeing a physical therapist twice a week in late January. They have had me working mostly on core strength and stability, with the occasional massage, for over a month now.
6. Last week, at my 1-month mark, they put me on the treadmill to see if I had gotten any better. This was my first time running since early November, and I couldn't make it more than a half mile before the ITBS started to flare up, and by .9 mile, I had to stop running.
* I rock climb three days a week, and I don't have any pain there. The pain only appears when running, and not immediately, taking about a half of a mile to show up.
My question is, should it take this long to get better? Am I missing something obvious to fix an ITBS issue? | ITBS. Took 3 months off, followed by a month of Physical Therapy. No better. Normal? I am desperate. |
t3_nsnac | AskReddit | Am i addicted? | Hey there, I have a question that has been bothering me for quite a while. I am not a native english speaker so excuse me if I make some weird sentences, just yell at me in the comments.
Now, on to my question, the thing is... I have the feeling I might be addicted to gaming and i would really appreciate it if someone that actually knows what they're talking about would evaluate my behavior, which i'll describe as good as i can.
I've been playing video games as long as I remember, it started with small things, playing for maybe half an hour or an hour max as a child since the computer we had was placed in the living room and me being smaller so it was easier for my parents to control my gaming behavior. These small hours rapidly started to grow out to full days of gaming every now and then when i finally got a desktop in my own room, and now that I am 18 years old i recently started playing world of warcraft because a friend of mine started playing again and i thought it would be fun to join in. The first few days I've been grinding non-stop and even neglected some things i have to do in real life, which my mom made a comment about that made me wonder if I am easilly addicted to a game.
On one side I think I actually AM ADDICTED, since i play alot, and every now and then I actually forget to do something IRL or go to bed at late hours just because I want to finnish this one more quest or get this one more piece of equipment. But on the other side I think it's nothing out of the ordinary because everytime a friend calls if I want to go grab a beer the choice is easy for me and I'll just go socialize.
Since I'm not sure which one of the two it is, I'd be real happy if someone with (professional?) experience would reply and give their opinion. Am I just a lazy 18 year old that plays games because he doesn't have anything else to do, or am I a beginning addict that just isn't over the point where he gives up his social life yet? | 18 year old IT student that still socializes when someone calls but sometimes neglects schoolwork/goes to bed too late to finnish quests considers wether he is getting addicted or not. |
t3_3lm5vz | relationships | My SO [25 F] is living off my [33 M] money, and is surprised that I am pissed off about it by now | I have been with my SO for about a year now.
She is currently a student in a small town about 60km from where I live.
For the last abut 2 months she has been living with me (semester holidays), and I have to pay for almost everything.
Food, entertainment, going out - occasionally I find a new pack of milk in the fridge, of which she expects me to appreciative beyond belief.
My birthday is coming up in 2 days, I did not really plan anything like a party, since it is on a workday, and I would have rather held a party during the WE, but she already invited a whole bunch of people (without telling me) and made me buy loads of food, which I now also had to help prepare, while she turned the kitchen into a mess (she does this every time, and then just leaves everything where it is, until I either get angry or clean it up myself).
She says she is doing all of it for me, and I should appreciate all her efforts, but really, it feels like buying my own presents, and having her wrap them and afterwards thanking her for all her creativity.
Whenever I bring up the topic of money, she throws a fit and the argument is never resolved.
I could need some helpful advise on how to tackle this situation. | My girlfriend takes it for granted that I pay for everything. She wants to throw me a party for my birthday, but I have to pay for everything. It feels absurd. |
t3_2fg2ql | relationships | So I have a friend [20/F] confused with what's really going on between her and her ex[22/M]. Any thoughts? | He distanced himself from her after their messy break-up.
They lost contact.
After 8 months, she finally apologized for all what she have done and accepted that they can't be together anymore.
They resumed their platonic friendship from before he confessed his feelings.
She asked him for a copy of LoL installer.
They met in a branch of Mcdo after his work shift.
They had breakfast while catching up.
He bought her a happy meal as an apology for being late.
Who can't resist a nifty little toy?
She happy accepted his gift.
He asked her if she'd like to hang-out with their mutual friends.
She went with him to meet the others and catch up with them.
Time passed, all other friends are being lovey dovey.
*awkwardness ensued*
He laid down on a couch with his feet on her lap trying to catch some z's.
Still platonic, right?
She started picking his leg hair with her bare hands.
Totally platonic.
He noticed that she looked melancholic.
She divulged that her dog got ran over.
He locked her in a hug.
She tried to break free.
He kissed her nose.
She stopped resisting and silently cried to sleep since she feel secure in his arms.
When she woke up, he rested his forehead on hers and smilingly greeted her "goodmorning!"
Turned out that she slept 'til noon.
"What now?" she asked me.
Turned out that she's to afraid to ask since she might loose him again.
She really enjoys his company.
---
This is what I understood from her story. I also got confused.
He seemed so determined not to back with her.
What do you think? | My friends broke up. Had no contact for 8 months. She lost her dog. He let her cry on his shoulder and kissed her nose. What do you think is in his mind? |
t3_1rk2hi | relationship_advice | GF sharing bed with gay friend - Am I overreacting? | Okay, so I hope this is the right section and everything - it's my first post on Reddit...
Anyways, I'm together with my GF for one and a half years now. Her best friend is a gay male. At least once a week they meet for lunch, dinner or to have a drink together.
I'm totally fine with that.
The thing that gives me headaches is the fact that they sometimes sleep together in the same bed. I mean okay, she's saying he's gay, but he is still a man.
If I tell her that I feel uncomfortable about it, she tells me that I don't understand the relationship between them and that it's nothing I have to worry about.
I met the guy like 3 or 4 times but never really talked to him, so how should I understand the relationship? I often tell my GF that she should invite her gay friend when we go out, but she almost never does it and IF she asks him to come with us, he doesn't want to.
Maybe I could understand the situation if I knew the guy?
A few months ago we had a discussion about the bed-sharing. After that she still slept at his place but she told me she was sleeping in his brothers bed (his brother is rarely at home).
But when my GF went to his place last week, the brother was back home for the weekend, so my GF slept in her gay friends bed again.
Yesterday she told me that she's going on holiday with her gay friend. They'll share a bed in the hotel for one week. They booked the trip before she told me.
I'm a bit freaking out right now, it feels like she doesn't care at all about my opinion/feelings. Am I overreacting? What can I tell her so she understands my point? | GF has a gay male best friend. They're going on vacation for a week and will share a bed in the hotel. I'm not okay with that. What to do? |
t3_4rfrdl | relationships | Me [28 M] with my coworker [23 F] she called me sexist because i did want her to lift something very expensive and heavy. | I'm nit sure if this is the right sub for this.
i work in a furniture store and most of the stuff here is expensive (think 3,000-10,000$ items) and heavy. we get good business and it pays well considering the hours.
today we got a desk very nice looking (its a 4,000$ desk) it took 4 of us to get it inside. well the woman that ordered it came by and we were going to load it up into her truck.
my other coworker showed up and wanted to help but i told her no because she wouldn't be able to. she said why and i told her she wasn't strong enough, she looked at me stunned and said "because I'm a girl?" and i said yes.
she's a small girl (she's about 5'1 and a littke on the skinny side) I'm pretty sure there was no way she'd be able to lift it. after we loaded it into the car she said she didn't realize she was working with a "typical sexist guy" i asked what she meant.
she said i think she's not strong because shes a girl, i told her no but in this instance yes shes not strong. she said she's considering going to HR about this issue.
it was a 4,000$ desk that weighed a ton and took 4 of us to lift, i dont see how i was being sexist. i dont know what to do about this do i just ignore it or apologize or what? | my coworker thinks I'm sexist because i told her i didn't want her help lifting something heavy that was very expensive. |
t3_2wxko9 | relationships | My [26F], BF [28M] of 2+ years talking about leaving town without me | My BF has made it a point to let me know he's against long distance relationships, so being away for more than 2 months basically = breakup for either of us.
At first I just tried to ignore it, but in one instance he was just bringing it up too often, and I got a bit upset. He then thought he could placate me by saying we could still go on the little trips we had planned, that I should stay by his side until he had to go, maybe even send him off on the day of, and that we could still be friends after that.
It actually made me more upset (it sounded like he'd be using me)! I broke into tears and told him that if he was sure about this move, I would rather have broken up with him right then and there. He then said he'd try his best to include me, as he didn't want to break up right then. He ended up staying in town.
Since that incident he hasn't made any concrete plans to go anywhere, but still brings it up every once in a while. He doesn't usually object if I invite myself along (or subtly hint it), but he's only included me in his plans once or twice.
I don't want to be unsupportive, it seems like it's really his dream to leave town someday (though he's pretty impulsive about it, and rarely has the same plans/location in mind twice). Whenever he brings it up these days I try to be 'mature' about it and keep it to myself, and end up being almost depressed for the next few days.
I'm dreadfully afraid of sitting down to talk about this seriously, I've always felt like the one more invested in the relationship, and that it'd just scare him away.
Any advice please? | boyfriend likes talking about leaving town without including me, absolutely doesn't do long distance, and it really sucks. What do I do? |
t3_3b2w7g | relationships | My [14M] Ex-friend [14M] Will Not Go Away | There is always 'that kid' at every school that anyone has ever been to. You know, the one that is disliked almost universally? Sometimes, it's unjustified. For this? Maybe, but that's beside the point. For a long time I hung out with this guy. Let's call him... Caelan.
He would always want to hang out, probably beacuse of his lack of other social interaction. That's cool, he was cool, but he always was a bit of a dick for no reason. Me being that one nerd that no one wants to socialize with, I guess we were fish and water. But as the years went on, I developed other friends, he developed other friends, and his dickish tendencies multiplied. His new friends are completely stereotypical console peasants, sitting in their dilapidated room on their x-box screaming about snoop dog.
Regardless of that, and perhaps because of that, I have been attempting to cut him out for the last three months. Not calling him, cancelling arangements, all the typical anti-social things to do. I hoped he would get the memo. He didn't. Even now, I have literally been telling him bluntly to his face to go away, piss off my pencil case, not commentate on everything I do etc, he is persistent. To the point where I just fucking cannot stand it. I am increasingly being angry to the point where I feel it's not long before I bubble over. I've already been in trouble for stabbing him with a pencil after he came across the classroom in geography to grab my pencil case.
How about a list of things he does even now!:
* Copies everyone's jokes, changes them nonsensically and repeats them.
* Randomly grabs shit off my desk/out of my bag for no reason.
* Always just happens to be going to lessons the same way as me, and follows me.
* Butts in on conversations that don't concern him.
* When groups are being formed, deliberately stay to the side so he's left over, join my group and cite that he couldn't join anyone else. | Ex-friend I've been trying to cut out persists in following me, copying me, and commentating on everything I do. |
t3_43b5va | tifu | TIFU by making an abortion joke to a checkout girl. | Okay, like most, this didn't happen today, but it did happen about 10 days ago whilst I was on the way to see my girl (we'll call her Ellie). She was worried because we'd had a lot of unprotected sex that month and her period was due and she hadn't came on. Me being the woman pleaser I am decided to drop by a store to grab her a pregnancy test to stop the worrying. Soon enough I find what I was looking for and made my way to pay, as I'm waiting I see that there are some lotto scratchers and figured I would buy myself one. I am now at the checkout and as the pregnancy test is being scanned I also ask for a scratcher. As the scratcher was being handed to me I said "This decides whether we keep it or not" with a very childish smirk on my face, it's safe to say the look I got explained that my humour is too dark for checkout girls so I threw the money at her before having a chance to tell her it was a joke and I got the fuck out. | Made an abortion joke whilst purchasing a pregnancy test and a scratcher. Cashier didn't share my dark sense of humour. |
t3_4bhvp5 | personalfinance | Should I pay off my student loan quickly or just use the cheap money? | I recently graduated, and have accepted a great offer, with only ~$5500 of a federally subsidized student loan. The minimum payment is only going to be like ~$50 and I'm not a big spender to begin with, so I could theoretically pay it off in a matter of months. I'm not sure what the benefit of paying it off so early would be though if I have 10 years to pay it off and at 3.4% APR, I'm looking at basically ~$1k in interest over the 10 years. The way I look at it, I could put the money I would put forward to paying off my loan early, into a Roth IRA, or hell even buy a T-bond with it and probably come out ahead. And I get the added benefit of a 10 year loan on my credit without a missed payment (I actually have enough cash in other investments that if SHTF, I could pay the whole thing off in one fell swoop if need be). | Am I playing with fire by keeping a loan around that I could easily pay off, or is it worth it just for the credit score and cheap capital? |
t3_4cdkb8 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my date [28 F] 3 weeks - met online, gone on several dates. Can't get a read on whether she's just shy or not interested | Hello relationships!
So I met this seemingly awesome girl online, we hit it off, and met up to go out on a first date for brunch and an outdoorsy activity. It went long (6 hours), but we had fun and have been out together several times since. We also have plans to go out later this week too.
The catch is, I can't get a read on her. When we text, it's like smilies all over the freaking place and emojis, but in person she seems super shy, doesn't talk much, and doesn't seem like a strong conversationalist, so I tend to do a lot of topic leading and trying to draw her out...
Her behavior is now starting to make me feel super insecure about where I stand in this, lol. Due to a LTR followed by a pretty long period of not having interest in dating, I came back into it and now it's all about online dating it seems, which I have little to no experience with. It just feels like it's moving a lot slower than if I would have met her in person to start and asked her out.
What to do! Should I just sack up and be like "Hey, I like you but I can't get a read on what's going with you" or ask how she feels?? I feel like an idiot that I'm going through this again, but now at age 30, and I feel more aimless as I did in my late teens and early 20s due to being out of the dating scene for so long. | Met girl online, I have no online dating experience. Went out on a few dates, can't get a read on her. Should I just ask her point blank how she feels? |
t3_15l7yz | relationships | My boyfriend [M21] lied to me and I [F19] need help getting over it. | My boyfriend [M21] and I [F19] have been dating for about 13 months. When we started dating I knew a lot of his friends were females- which I was completely fine with. Men and women can totally be friends- that's never been a concern of mine. However, when we started dating I noticed that his female friends at our school treated me pretty poorly- it turned out that one of them had a major thing for him. This all was it's own issue and I'm over that- after all of this (and early on in the relationship) I asked him if he had any flings or anything with his other female friends (I really didn't want to go through the same treatment with his other female friends- both at our school and in his hometown). He told me that he and his female friends were just friends and nothing had ever happened between them- and I trusted him and believed him for months.
Around our one year anniversary he admitted that he's made out/felt up/fingered all of his female friends- literally every single one. He went as far to say that he still wishes he had gotten a blow job from one. I was incredibly angry that he lied but became even more angry when I thought about our relationship and the things he's done with them since then.
He won't be seen in photographs with me, he won't hold my hand when people he knows are around- let alone anything else, yet he'll hold them close in photographs. Last Christmas, he took a girl that he's friends with and had a fling with to pick out my Christmas gift. On top of this all, when we fight, he would trash talk me with these girls.
I resent him for what he's done and that he's lied. But I really need help getting over it. Please, help me reddit? | Boyfriend lied to me for a year about his relationships with his female friends. I'm angry, help me get over it- please? |
t3_23adzs | relationship_advice | I'm [30f] what to do about thoughts of my ex from 10 years ago and marrital dissatisfaction. | I'm stuck in my thinking about my ex fiance from college. Husband [27] can be angry and irritable and at times I feel like I don't have much of a say in things. He'll get mad at me stating I'm being overly anxious and cow me into dropping it. He can be an ass sometimes, but there are times he can be incredibly thoughtful and supportive. Depending on what I'm thinking and feeling at the time our relationship is for the most part pretty good and normaly complicated for being married 7 years and having a 2 year old.
We have a few friends who have gotten divorced recently. One of which has been dating a very nice girl for a few months and they are that cutesy lovey stage. Subtle jealousy/regret may have triggered my having a dream about my first ex. While I dismissed that ex pretty quickly I've been thinking about my ex fiance, what happened to him, did he remarry/have kids ect. What would my life have been if it had worked out. He was stationed over seas for a year and then slowly stopped contacting me to the point I found out from his cousin when he returned to the states. It took a few years to get over it to the point I could be open to falling for my husband.
I'm bothered that I cant stop thinking about him this morning. I'm bothered that I'm not "THE Ex" for the guy that is my "THE Ex" (if that makes sense). It bothers me that it triggers old insecurities that I wasnt good enough (pretty enough, fashioniable enough, or something) for that guy. None of this is even relevant to my current life! It's probably an escape fantasy because I'm dissatisfied with husband about not having the second child we had talked about, the emotional power differential, the fact that I make the money and he stays home with daughter rather than start a career(in who knows what) he says he wants, and that I miss that being young happy, hopeful, and inlove feeling we used to have. | Can't stop thinking about emotionally distant ex fiance because I dont feel like I have much say/agency in my marriage. Sad lonely and should talk to husband but I dont know what I need him to understand or how to say it. |
t3_37mwh9 | relationships | Me [24 M] Roomates [24M] and [26M]. Am I in the wrong here? Girlfriend over too often? | So I live in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house. One of my roommates seems to have a problem with my girlfriend staying over for extended periods of time.
Let me break it down.
She is never at the house unless she is with me.
She does not shower at the house.
She does not do laundry at the house.
Her and I do not touch the thermostat (heat only)
We literally spend every second together either in my room or in the basement completely away from my roommates. I am always conscious of being too loud and bothering others ect...
My roommates and I have had numerous heated discussions about it and I can literally never get a response other than "Just because" or "Its the principle of the matter" which does not fly with me.
I would understand if she was in everyone space and using up utilities or taking up parking spaces or just in the way in general.
I am really starting to get irritated with my roommate telling me what I am doing is inherently wrong blah blah blah.
I really do not want to see him as my enemy but I am really having a hard time not feeling like they need to mind their own business. What goes on in my room is my business and as long as I am not bothering them they can just get over it.
One of them made the point that she can be here but just not sleep here... | Girlfriend and I spend alot of time together. We are very courteous of my roommates and she does not impact the bills other than using the restroom. |
t3_49a5h0 | jobs | I'm asking for a raise for the first time ever and I need some advice. | Background: I work at a help desk for a software company. I've had this job for about 6 months. After the first month, they surprised us by forcing a few of us (me being one of them) to take a non-standard, 4 days-a-week 11am-10pm shift. Part of this shift involves grabbing support tickets from the more "difficult" support queue, a role normally accomplished during the day by the next level up from this position. There's about 30 or so people working on the help desk. So, the entry level job (Help Desk I) pays about $5000-$7000 *less* per year than the next level (Help Desk II) job. BUT, with my shift, I'm basically doing half the Help Desk I job and half the Help Desk II job, simply because I'm there alone for much of the day and have to take cases from both of the queues.
I'm not sure why they don't offer an in-between salary for the people who work my shift - according to the research I've done, most companies do offer more pay for this shift as it's seen as less desirable and there's more responsibility involved.
Of the few people who were put on this shift, one has already quit and one is on their way out. I'm doing pretty well and I think my managers recognize that. Because of that, I feel like I have some leverage in terms of asking for a raise. I'm 22, though, and have never done this before. The management here is not exactly understanding (an understatement) and I'm worried that handling this the wrong way will negatively affect my relationships with management.
My current plan is to come prepared with as much data and supporting evidence as I can - my case count compared to people working normal day shifts, the number of Tier 2 cases I take, possibly salary data for "day/swing/night" shifts for similar positions. I'm hoping for a 3-5% raise.
Any advice on how to handle this tactfully? I appreciate the help. | Got forced into a shift that has more work, responsibility than regular day shift but does not pay any more. Coworkers on this shift quit. I've been pretty successful so far. Want to ask for a small raise. |
t3_50vlg7 | relationships | Help [23M] dealing with socially challenged coworker[30F] | There's a coworker of mine who has been bothering me for a while(about 3 months) now. She has a younger cousin that I also work with and we get along well, no problems there. But this coworker in particular, is socially challenged (not sure with what, exactly) and since we first met she seems to have taken interest in me and persistently (and awkwardly) tries to talk to me during work every chance she gets. I try to be polite as I usually am at work, but it seems like she might be mistaking my politeness for...something else, and won't stop approaching me while I'm trying to do my job.
Most recently she asked me if I was in a relationship with anybody, to which I immediately cut her off stating that I don't talk about such things at work. She very awkwardly apologized for asking and I shrugged her off. It makes me extremely uncomfortable when people act so persistent like this around me, but she doesn't seem to take any hints that I'm not interested in socializing with her. Even if I have headphones in while I'm working, she still constantly tries to talk to me. I have a bad feeling that she will only continue to pester me in the longrun, when I simply want to do my work. But I'm afraid to speak up or do anything because I don't want to seem like a dick, since I have a good working relationship with her cousin and would like to maintain that. How can I get this woman to stop trying to talk to me all the time? | socially challenged coworker won't leave me alone, how do I lowkey get her to leave me be without causing an open fuss about it? |
t3_20vi6s | relationships | I (20 F) discovered that my boyfriend (18 M) has a bad habit. Am I overreacting? | So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 and a half months now. Recently when I was over at his place, he was sleeping. So I decided to go see what kind of porn he was into, to maybe get some ideas for when we have our own fun. Now I know I shouldn't have been snooping, but my intentions were not malicious. What I found surprised me... turns out he's into hentai, and nothing but hentai. There were no sort of fetishes in what I saw either. All it was is just cartoon girls with outrageous body standards that no woman could ever live up to. My self esteem plummeted. I've been completely miserable since I found this out. I've been starting to think that how I look now isn't good enough for him, and probably never will be. Note that I'm slightly overweight, but I have been losing weight recently. Whenever we do have sex, I'm never completely undressed. Whatever part of me is naked is always covered up by a blanket or a dark room. He never tells me how he thinks I look, never gives me compliments of any kind except for the very occasional "you're cute."
I approached him about it, I cried, and he said he would stop. Earlier today I asked him if he had still been looking at it since we talked. He said he hasn't, but the history on his phone proves otherwise.
So I'm a bit unsure of what to do here. My self esteem has never been so low and I've been very depressed over this. Am I overreacting? What should I do? | boyfriend looks at hentai, never seems to be interested in me or tell me how he thinks i look. Sex is always covered up. My self esteem has plummeted. |
t3_1y1okt | relationships | I (f21) don't am having second thoughts about My fiance (m21) | We have had a rocky relationship that has gotten better over time. I see how I am good for him but I feel like he would be happier with someone else.I guess seeing him interact with my new roommate shows me that there are girls more compatible with who he is as a person. Girls who like the things he does.they can have conversations and share items and enjoy things that I just don't.I do try to develop an interest in what he likes and enjoy it but I just feel like I am constantly having to compete.should I end it do he can find someone better or stay with him because I love him so much. | I don't think I am the best option for my fiance and I think he can find someone who enjoys the things he does more than me.should I end it or stay because I love him? |
t3_d3qzs | AskReddit | Reddit I scare myself sometimes: I feel like I would have no problems killing someone. | Sometimes when I'm watching a TV show or movie that involves a mob hitman or the like, I feel that I would have no problem killing someone or even multiple people. Which scares me alot.
I'm sure I would feel remorse and guilt but in my mind right now I don't feel like its that big a deal because I can compartmentalize emotions pretty well.
Now let me make a few things clear: I have never killed anyone, I don't want to kill anyone and never had an urge to kill anyone...yet. I am kinda religious and I know it's wrong legally and morally not to kill anyone.
Does anyone else feel this way or do I need to seek professional help? | Basically I don't feel that it's that big a deal to kill someone and it scares me that I feel that way. |
t3_20pn3l | relationship_advice | [25M] Moved for work, blindly moved in with [26F] colleague... | So a few weeks ago, I got a new job in a state where I know no one. The employer reached out to people in the business and set me up with a roommate. The lease goes on for a few more months into the summer.
She is very attractive and has a great personality. Obviously it seems very natural to not pursue this because we live together and if it doesn't work it just makes the living situation a cluster. We have been out in social situations with other colleagues and no apparent sparks fly. When we are around the house I offer to assist with little housekeeping chores, sometimes she accepts sometimes she doesn't.
Overall I'm trying to be a good housemate, show some interest in her, but not overstep any boundaries. I do think about her quite a bit though when she's not home. She has an amazing body that she takes care of very well. | I'm living with a hot female roommate and I have no clue what to do. I'm leaning just admire, but that's going to take a lot of restraint. |
t3_17thaj | relationships | My [19m] gf [19f] was flirty with her ex-boyfriend last night. | I've [19m] been in a fwb relationship with this girl [19f] for almost a year and a half. We've only been dating for about a month, but we had a really emotional fwb relationship (e.g. she said "I love you" months before we started dating).
So, yesterday I went to her friend's birthday party. My girlfriend warned me her ex would be there, and that he's "crazy". I met him and he was actually pretty cool. She didn't tell him we're dating, because they're still friends and she wanted to "avoid drama".
We all head out to a bar, and as I'm buying a drink, I turn around to see his hand around her waist. At first I just sat back and watched. What I took away was that she was doing nothing to stop his advances (though, from what I saw, they never went further than his hand on her waist). When she saw me looking, she left his side and went to talk to some of her other friends.
I didn't talk to her about it until the morning after, while we were still in bed. She says she was drunk, that she doesn't remember, and that she's sorry (If I had a nickel...). She also admits she still has feelings for her ex, but claims they're not comparable to the ones she has for me (?).
When I got up to leave she was very resistant ("no stay", grabbing my wrist, etc.). I told her she needs to make up her mind as to what she wants and to let me know if she figures it out. Then I left.
Is there any scenario where we stay together and I'm not the biggest chump in the world? I love this girl, but I don't want to put up with shit. | Girlfriend doesn't tell her ex we're dating. We all go to the bar and when I'm not there he puts his arm around her waist. What do? |
t3_2hvwkh | personalfinance | Advice needed (please)! | I have owned my own (UK) restaurant business for almost four years. Until July this year I had a business partner, he has subsequently left & resigned as director although he is still a share holder. We both put equal amounts into the business as directors loans, we have paid ourselves back some of this but we each still have around 20k in the business.
We have always struggled and, to cut a long story short, I have now closed the business due to a downturn in trade and it affecting my personal life. It is currently listed on the market but if I don't sell the landlord will forfeit the lease.
When we started we took out some leases to get the more expensive equipment, we have paid off some of these but they total around 20k. We also have personal guarantees on the lease and we currently owe our landlord roughly 20k as well. All other debt is in the company name, which I will be declaring insolvent in the next few days.
My question is, should I declare bankruptcy and leave him to foot the bill? I have no assets, no house, no car, no dependents, no savings. I literally put everything into the business. My former partner however, who shares the guarantees, has a house, two children & two cars. I have been told that if renege on the guarantees and declare bankruptcy then he will be liable for the entire amount. He has told me that if I declare bankruptcy then we will no longer be friends and he wants nothing more to do with me.
What should I do? I really have no idea. I don't see how I could ever keep up with repayments were I to not declare bankruptcy. My former business partner has already put his house on the market as he is moving out of the area although he insists it is to service the debt. Their combined income is probably around 70k, the house is listed for 300k. | I owe money and don't know whether to declare bankruptcy as this would leave my former business partner to service the entire debt. |
t3_x6h7i | AskReddit | Hi reddit, *sup nods* I was at work, bored and needed something to do; so I started daydreaming. I had the best day at work I've ever had! So what are all your favourite (day)dreams that you have? | So mine:
So there I was in a room with 5 people I have never seen before, yet I instinctively knew I knew them. On the table was a bag off food, and we were in an exotic cooking competition. Me and one other person left the room to scout the other groups leaving the rest to cook, the other groups were good, one entry was a pint of BLUE Guinness with a sea anemone stuffed into the top of the glass, served with a side of fried rice and apple pie. other people tried fish 'n' chips on a stick, I got to taste & critique. After our hour long absence we returned to see how our meal was coming on. When returned the food lay untouched in the centre of the table in it's bag, what ensued was an argument about 'What the fuck happened' I wont get into details but my sub-concious mind was very reasonable and took responsibility of the lack of the work I had done; yet also reprimanding the group that had failed to have any initiative.
It was then time for us to be judged, we hadn't done anything so we did the only logical thing, slam the door, which had somehow turned into a cupboard and so there were now shelves and food in there way as well, as they tried to scramble through I found my self holding a bowl of warm washing up water and promptly threw it on the invaders; and ran.
The rest of the groups filled the corridor and it became so crowded it was more like swimming that running, it was hard work but worth it to escape the judges.
Later on I found my self on a bench opposite a group of emo chicks, with no idea of how I got there; a car pulls up and out steps Olivia Wilde, she motions to for me to so I naturally climb over the roof of the car and get in on the far side, as if it's the thing to do. I immediately regret my decision.
We then go for burgers. | An account of an awesomely epic daydream I had at work, with a level of detail remembered that I would have in reality |
t3_3ponnw | relationships | My [17F] boyfriend [18M] joined the military and I'm contemplating a breakup. Need advice. | To make it as short as possible. Met in highschool, set up by a mutual friend. Dated for a year so far, no major fighting, great sex. Each other's first loves.
We got along great for the year, did everything together. I always knew he wanted to join the Air Force and I by no means wanted to crush his dreams or hold him back, but I always wished he didn't chose this career path. (He comes from a military family who is very supportive). I supported him thru the enlistment process(he is signed 4yrs active duty job is HVAC). however we always argued because I told him I cannot handle the distance and he always was noncholant and said we have to try and he believes in me. Thought I'd give it a try.
Decided to stick around and forced myself thru his basic training, sending him letters and receiving his, had a few phone calls as well. Was very depressed while he was away. Felt lost and and kind of abandoned.
Went to Texas for his graduation from basic. Was on this temporary high of love the whole time. I'm stuck in this constant cycle of extreme happiness and extreme sadness in this relationship. He won't be home until Xmas(tech school for 100 days, he will have 8d of leave for xmas), and he only gets 2 and a half days of leave per month of service after that. I'm the kind of person that needs a lot of physical contact and this distance is doing nothing but causing me immense pain. Don't know how a rrelationship can work seeing each other 30 ish days out of every year.
I love him deeply and I am so, so proud of him for joining. My only reason to end things is distance. I just believe our lives are taking different paths. It's a huge commitment for me being so young. Contemplating breakup for my own good.
Thoughts? | 17F wants to break up with 18m because he joined the Air Force and she can't handle distance/ doesn't want such a big commitment. |
t3_3zkvqj | relationships | How do I[16/m] talk to this girl[14/m]? | So there's this girl I like, but I haven't talked to her yet. I see her usually twice a week at church and youth group. I hold the door for her whenever I can, and she smiles and says thank you. I'm homeschooled, and rather shy to be honest. I've never really talked to a girl before. But, it's not like she's going to reject me or anything. I just want to get to know her at this point. I'm already making friends with her friends, so that's good.
What are some good things to say/talk about with her after I've introduced myself? Any help is appreciated. | I like this girl, but I haven't met her. What are some good things to say/talk about with her when I do? |
t3_18qwoo | relationships | My [M18] Girlfriend[F25]'s ex [F26] tried to kiss her. previously the ex always said she was just good friends...how do i even respond? | The ex came to me apologizing today, and it came out of nowhere. apparently it happened wednesday and well, my girlfriend said i need to stop arguing and relax it wont happen again, and the ex is reassuring me again saying she has no alterior motives. im too broken down and hurt to put details but do they matter at this point? my gf rejected her advances by the way. oh and my gf wants me to fix things with the ex and be friends again
we have been together for 4 months and she is pregnant with my kids. im not walking away. | girlfriends ex tried to kiss her, is sorry but i dont trust her and everyone wants us to be friends again which idk if i am okay with. |
t3_2ue8cs | Pets | Cat of 9 years old randomly peeing around house and never has | My family has always had animals while I was growing up so I am fairly knowledgeable about ailments but I'm not sure if this instance is due to an ailment or some type of anxiety.
Just to give a little back story I have been away from home for a little over a month now due to me having to go to Japan for a month and a half for military reasons. Shortly before I left for the first time to my knowledge my male cat of 9-10 years old pee'ed in my bed and him peeing anywhere besides his pan is a very rare occurrence. He used to be an outdoor cat back home at my moms but for the past 5 years since I've had him he has been indoor. A few days before he pee'ed in the bed my girlfriend let him outside so I'm not sure if that might be a culprit.
Fast forward a month my girlfriend is taking care of my house and animals and my cat has pee'ed in the bed about 6-7 times, pee'ed on the dogs bed, and even pooped on my bed. I am here to get anyone else's input on if they have ever experienced a cat doing this and if they think it is just some type of anxiety since I am gone or if it could be a UTI. My girlfriend does not live with me and no one ever has so I am very much so the main person in his life.
Thanks for any input! | My cat is peeing around the house while im out of town and not sure if it is due to anxiety or UTI. |
t3_2e8ovr | relationships | I [F20] am suffering from confidence issues due to my boyfriend [M20] and my sex life | My boyfriend and I have been together about two years now and have lived together for about a year so at this point it is obvious that I want sex more often than him.
I would like to have sex everyday or so and he would like to have sex every other day or less. I understand this and I try not to pressure him but this difference in sex drives leads to me always initiating sex and being shut down repeatedly. I feel like I am constantly being rejected and I try not to take it personally but I can't help but start to feel unattractive and self conscious. I don't know if it's because I've been told my whole life that guys are always horny or because I have unrealistic expectations coming into my first serious relationship but it is starting to take a toll on my confidence. I am noticing myself getting jealous when he looks at other attractive women. I try my best to hide it but it is obvious because I get quite and sad.
Add to this the fact that he watches porn and masturbates at least once a week. I am not bothered by him doing this, but its starting to feel like he is choosing porn over me. He rejects me multiple times a week yet still finds time to watch porn. It isn't like he can't be with me when he gets horny, we live together. It seems like he deliberately waiting until I leave for work or class to jack off. He could easily wait an hour or two until I get home.
I guess I just need some guidance here because I don't know if this is all in my head. I don't want to get jealous every time I see him talk to a girl or paranoid that he's looking at naked girls on his computer every time I see him on his laptop, but that's what it is like right now and I don't know what to do. I am really self conscious that I'm not good enough and I don't want to be like this anymore, but I don't know what should change. | I want sex more often than my boyfriend which leads to me allows being shut down and consequently me being very self conscious . |
t3_st48j | relationships | Am I overreacting, or was his reaction really not okay? | M/f both 20, dating about 9 months.
Starting at around the age of five my mother has emotionally abused me. She began forcibly swearing at me, almost hitting me many times, actually hitting me twice, calling me a whore (started at 15, but for no reason), worthless, trash, says she hopes I would die, that I worsen her life, why do I hate her being happy, that I am an idiot who will do nothing with my life, etc. These things always really hurt and affected me emotionally as a child, but at the age of 16 I began to block out and not respond to what she would say.
So anyway, that was the backstory. So two days ago I decided to tell my boyfriend.. Not for pity, rather to get it off my chest to somebody I trust. I told him, cried while doing it (I am still rather emotional over the whole ordeal), and his reaction was "so? That's not that bad. Why do you care what she said?" and told me to stop crying and making a big deal out of nothing.
....um. What.
So yeah, now I'm wondering, did I overreact or is he in the wrong? That was not my expected reaction at all, as he did not try to comfort me about it or anything, and I regretted sharing with him afterwards.
So did I overreact? | Shared terrible childhood memories with boyfriend, cried in process, he told me to, basically, get over it. Did I overreact? |
t3_4oid9s | relationships | I [M21] need some advice about my ex(?) [F22] | We got together end of January/February and decided to take it slow and see how things go. We had known each other a little from being on the same Uni course but up till then we had revolved in different friendship groups etc. Things were going really well and we had plans to do all sorts of things like meeting her brother etc. and in this time frame I had completely fallen head over heels for her. Then one day in (mid April) she distanced herself from me and when I approached the subject she told me she wanted to try a 'break' for a little while because she felt like she couldn't cope with everything / some of the things she had going on wasn't fair on me. I told her I wasn't keen on the idea but agreed because I wanted to respect her wishes.
To put this into context at the time, she was really worrying about finals (which she has had to subsequently push back), trying to get a place on a PhD course, her ex (of 4yrs) had been involved in a serious life threatening motorcycle accident and her mother, who has now recently passed (2 weeks ago), was suffering with late stage cancer.
The 'break' hit me harder than I care to admit and it definitely had an effect on my own finals preparation / general motivation. My mother even notice something and actually came to uni to seen me.
It's been 2 months give or take since we split and she is still the only thing I can think about. I would love more than anything to try and make it work again with her, but speaking to her friend she is still very upset about her mother (which is completely understandable) and suggested to give her some space until things resemble normality again.
It kills me not being able to comfort her/talk to her, but I don't want to push anything. I am at a loss as to what to do. | Split with gf 2 months ago, who had a couple of things going on. Would love to try and make things work again. No idea what to do. |
t3_2kwypa | relationships | My girlfriend 17[F] of 7 months got invited to a party that I [17M] did not get invited to. She is going with a guy who has tried to hook up with her in the past. | I'm now sitting at home in, admittedly, a slightly pathetic fit of jealousy and/or worry. I like to think that I'm normally capable of dealing with issues with some level of maturity, but I let my adolescent emotions get the better of me this time.
Quick back story: We've been dating for some time now and it's been pretty fantastic. When we first started though, we were doing so completely in secret, due to some constraints with school and her family, but that's not an important part of the story. At a party that I did not attend last year, this guy tried to hook up with her. She refused. The same thing happened with the same guy at a party a few months ago. I should add that they are good friends, but he has liked her for some time. The first time that he pulled something, he didn't know that I was dating her. The second time, he did.
I've expressed to her that I'm not comfortable with what's happened with this guy, and that I think she should more clearly express to him the fact that she is in a relationship. She did so, so I felt better. But now she's going to a party with him, and I can't help but feel like something is going to happen. | My girlfriend of 7 months is going to a party with a guy who has tried to hook up with her in the past, and it's bothering me. |
t3_1dv823 | AskReddit | Do you remember the first person you became friends with other than your family member's? still friends with them? do you even know if they're around anymore? | Like the very first person to leave you with an impression of real friendship.
Mine would have to be when I met this kid on the playground in elementary school circa 1995. He seemed very shy and no one else was talking to him so I decided to share my toys with him, by the time lunch was over that day we were running around chasing each other pretending to be cops and robbers. It was safe to say that we were friends then, his name was Adrian and he ended up being anything but shy, always running around screaming and wanting to make a scene, he was a natural at making people laugh especially me when we would be sitting in class and he would start making subtle fart noises around the teachers, till this day I cant figure out why the hell that was so funny. After elementary I ended up not going to the same middle school as him and eventually we lost all contact going in to our teen years. It dawned on me one day last semester to look him up on facebook to see what he had been up to since our elementary days. My search ended in the most heart aching way possible, I found out he was a senior at UCSC with a little left to graduate and with a big network of friends just like I knew he would have, unfortunately we lost him 2 years ago in a bicycle accident on his way back home from school.
There were already so many things in my mind I wanted to ask him when we met again, like how are careers are going and how much we changed since the playground days... and now I'm just sitting there stunned and quiet.
Please share. hopefully there's actually some nice endings out there somewhere. | I was feeling very nostalgic and thought of the first person I remember calling a friend, upon searching for him online I found out his life had been abruptly ended over two years ago. |
t3_1fvyax | dating_advice | I F(21) am feeling pressured to make a relationship work with M(21). | I feel bad, because this man has been into me for 3 years, and though I've moved away for college, every time I'm back in the summer, he is still dedicated to me.
I am just starting to like him, but as I assumed would happen, he gets too close too quickly. I'm not ready for a committed relationship, especially because he is moving away for good in a few weeks.
However the other night he forced a kiss on me, and I was none too happy, and made him leave. Now his best friend is telling me I was stupid to do so, and that before either one of us leaves I should try to kiss him back.
For one I'm not sure if I'm that attracted to him, and two, I'm sure that if I do so he will try to start some sort of lasting relationship. But on the other hand I feel bad for giving such a blunt rejection the other night, and I do feel like, since we won't see each other again for a long time, what have I got to lose? | Can't decide whether or not to kiss a man whose kiss I rejected earlier before he leaves though I fear he will take the relationship to a level I don't want if I do. |
t3_2b55vo | relationships | Fiance & family upset because I [23F] said I don't want to have a wedding. The truth is that I have no one to invite. | I just hung up the phone with my future MIL in tears, which prompted me to write this post. I'll try to avoid a wall of text. At a rough count, my fiance would have 80 definite attendants. He's laden with friends from high school and college that have mostly stayed in the same state, a good number of close graduate school friends who would likely fly out, and a gigantic yet extremely close knit family.
I have my mom, dad, little sister, and maybe two high school friends I can count on to fly out for me. The rest of my high school friends are in different states or countries. In college I was apparently amazing at making acquaintances who "like" all of my social media, but no lasting friends. My two best friends from college fought in senior year; one cut contact with both of us, while the second was terrible at staying in touch after graduating and meeting her boyfriend. Eventually I tired of initiating all contact and let her drop as well. I'm not close to my extended family because they all live in India, and the vast majority would not fly out anyway due to visa/financial constraints.
I already spiraled into depression upon getting engaged and realizing that I had no one to celebrate with, while my fiance was taken out for every weekend for a month. I just can't imagine being confronted with more of the same on the day that's supposed to make me the happiest. Even when we discussed a destination wedding at least half of his 80 were planning to attend. I know I must sound incredibly catty, but I really don't have a problem with my fiance's social life. He's also not the center of my life; we're in fact LDR, I take community college classes for fun, gym every day, and work full time.
My fiance, family, and especially my fiance's family are all disappointed and making no secret of it. I have no idea what to tell them or how to get them to stop talking about it. Honestly I really would have liked a small, immediate family only affair but that's apparently out of the question. Help? | Fiance, fiance's family, and my family are all extremely upset that I refuse to have a wedding. Truth is that despite lots of acquaintances I can't seem to make any lasting friends. |
t3_1x07mj | relationships | Me [29F] with my BF [28M] of 2 years, have a pretty great relationship and I am longing to get married to him. | This post is pretty straight forward. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. We both have our college degrees, have good careers, and are financially independent. We have pretty good communication when it comes to disagreements, and we are still crazy about each other. He knows I want to get married, maybe have kids at some point. And he tells me if things continue like they are currently, we are on the path to get married.
So serious question. How long do I wait? I don't want to bring up the topic too much, but I don't want to never bring it up either. He says talking about it doesn't freak him out, but there is no concrete plans or date. How does one even approach this subject?
Sorry if I'm missing any important details, this is really just the gist of things. And waiting for this huge life event is making me a little bit crazy. | I want to marry this man I'm in love with, but when I talk about it he is vague. How do I learn to be patient or directly approach this thing? |
t3_45xanu | relationships | My [23f] boyfriend [20m] ignored my Valentine's Day effort and I'm very upset | I'm probably just being overly emotional, but I was upset all night and can't seem to get over it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We see each other a few times a week but he lives 45 min away and doesn't drive (he's getting his license), so I'm driving almost 2 hours to see him.
Anyway. We both had to work yesterday (him until noon) and I was supposed to pick him up when I got off at 6 and cook him dinner and just have a special night at my place. I cooked while he was on his tablet. He didn't eat much and gestured toward the bedroom. I cleaned up and followed him in, but when I got there he was asleep. I tried to wake him up, but he was out. It's not like I wanted sex. I just wanted to spend my first Valentine's Day dating someone actually with them. I cried all night and he slept the whole drive when I dropped him at work this morning.
I haven't talked to him. I don't really know what to say. I tried so hard to give us a nice night and I ended up feeling so lonely. I'm not sure if my feelings are valid or if I'm just overreacting. | my boyfriend fell asleep during a Valentine's Day I tried really hard not and now I feel like it was all a waste. |
t3_3aoqzm | relationships | Me [22/F] Concerned after a few bad dates | This might be early, since it only concerns two dates with two women, but I'm looking for what went wrong so I don't make it three.
I went out with someone I'd been chatting with online for a while. She asked me out and we met in the city. It seemed to be going ok, we were chatting about the usual stuff and while there wasn't heaps of chemistry there didn't seem to be any major issues.
Then maybe an hour into it, she claimed there was a family problem (I won't elaborate in case she sees this) and had to go. She seemed genuine and offered to walk me back. Later she sent a short message apologizing for having to cut it short, and I said it's no big deal and we could reschedule if she wanted. That was the last I'd heard so I figured it was a lack of chemistry or something.
Until the next night, when I went out with someone else (apparently all my dating ability is in getting the first one. I've had some luck beyond it but not much). That lasted maybe 20 minutes before she went off to the bathroom, only to get a call soon after and had to leave. At least she messaged me later saying there was no chemistry and she didn't want to reschedule.
I'm just worried if I come off as boring or even creepy. My friends didn't know. Mostly they were super nice and comforting, but I need to know what, if anything, was wrong with me that got that reaction. I've never really had issues with social cues or anything and I didn't come on too strong, maybe too reserved or something.
It feels horrible that there could be something repelling me like this (and that no-one I know will tell me what it is. I'm big on honesty and my friends know they won't hurt my feelings if they're giving me some harsh truth).
Not to mention I'm apparently the sort of person they needed to get away from asap. Can't believe I've made someone feel that way. | Is it common to be rejected mid-date? Or is it like I've thought, and only done when things are going really badly or the person is awful? |
t3_3awcr3 | tifu | TIFU by writing a letter to a pen pal | This happened in high school but I thought it was very appropriate to share here.
In Year 10, we had a new Japanese teacher and he was keen and excited to introduce new projects. One of them was to write letters to our sister school in Japan in Japanese, and then our pen pal could reply in English, as a way to practice. I was a bit of mischief maker and wanted to include a little joke in my letter (I obviously wasn't thinking too clearly at the time). I wrote in Japanese "My current hobbies are building websites, if you wouldn't mind, please check out my newest website!" and then inserted a link to goatse.cx.
Little did I know, that all the letters get checked first by the Japanese teacher. So he was in the staff room and tried to view 'my website' out of curiosity. Unfortunately the website was blocked, so then the Japanese teacher asked the principal to view it on her computer because her computer had all-access. I guess you guys can work out the rest.
After the incident, I was forced to see the school counsellor twice a week for 4 weeks in which I had to convince him I didn't make the website. Luckily back then, people weren't as technologically savvy so I managed to convince the counsellor that my website was hacked.
That Japanese teacher became one of my closest mentors and I still meet up with him for drinks 15 years out of high school. We talked about this incident recently and he said he was never allowed to do the pen pal project ever again after that. I felt terrible :( | Tried to be funny, Goatse'd my teacher and principal, had to spend 4 weeks convincing school counsellor I didn't own goatse.cx |
t3_2r2y6b | tifu | TIFU by pissing off a crazy activist | This happened to me last week.
I'm a writer that investigates and covers local issues in my area. Occasionally I write about people who get involved in local issues. I can be critical at times -- and as the old saying goes, "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
Here's some additional and relevant context. I've verbally sparred with a local activist who has a reputation for pulling some controversial public stunts, such as trespassing on property of local officials to deliver faux legal documents, showing up randomly at homes of his personal critics and posting critic's social security numbers on legal paperwork. I've come out publicly to criticize his methods. In return, he created a Facebook group designed to "block me" from Facebook. The group accused me of being a "liar" and a "stalker" without any evidence. So when I say he's crazy, I mean he's seriously *cray-cray*. I've called him out on it, so he decided to escalate the matter.
Last Friday (Dec. 26), I was at work and received several phone calls from people I knew and they all went like this: "Hey /u/AOchs, someone sent around a disturbing note about you throughout the community." I listened to about 25-30 minutes worth of new voicemails during my lunch break. I thought, "What's going on?"
When I got home, I asked people to take a photo or scan the note. Turns out it was a postcard that was sent to registered voters in my hometown. The activist took a personal photo from my Facebook, called me a "liar" and a "reprobate" and recommended to people that they call the mayor and the city council to learn more about my evil ways. I knew the activist had sent out the postcard because he literally copied and pasted from the Facebook group's mission statement that he created. He also has a reputation for sending out attack mailers.
The other side of the postcard was completely blank except for the receiver's address and a stamp.
So 6,000 residents are looking at me like "WTF?" at work. | Argued with a nutjob activist. Activist ups the ante by sending a ridiculously vile postcard to thousands of residents because why not? More than 6,000 people now know that I suck at taking selfies. |
t3_51h78t | relationships | Me [16 M] with my girlfriend [16 F] i want to break up but she already told me she loves me and i don't want to hurt her. | I'll probably sound like the biggest douchebag ever.
I have been dating (Lin) for a year now and she is a very nice girl and is beautiful. it's just i don't really feel much for her, i did in the beginning but i realized i only liked the idea of a relationship.
I did try to break up with her but everytime i tried i imagined her hurting and crying and couldn't do it. i continued to talk to her and go out i was for sure going to tell her last week but i messed up.
We were watching TV and started making out and it escalated and we did 'it' which felt good. when i saw her at school the next day she gave me the biggest kiss and told me she loved me.
I said it back because i really don't want to hurt her because i care about her but I'm not in love with her. ahat do i do? | i want to break up with my girlfriend but she said sne loves me and i said it back because i don't want to hurt her. what do i do? |
t3_3z8pdq | relationships | Me [19 M] in love with my straight best friend [17 M] of a year. | I've known him for about a year now and I've been crushing on him since we met. When we're together, I'm happy and nothing can change that. Being friends with him and hanging out with him is one of the best feelings in the world. But other times, it's hard.
I get jealous very easily. He's interested in a F[19]. A lot of people think he may be gay/bi, but I've known him for a year and I know him a lot better than most people, and I'm pretty sure he's straight. Whenever I see them together, I get angry and sad and confused.
So I suppose I'm asking what exactly I should do in this situation. I want to be his friend, I love hanging out with him, and I would be fine with being just friends, I just want to lose my feelings for him but it seems impossible. I'm still in the closet and I have a feeling if I told him I was gay, or how I felt, he wouldn't be able to be friends with me anymore, and I obviously don't want that. | In love with best friend who's straight, I'm still in closet, feel if i told him friendship would be damaged. Do I break off friendship? Do I tell him? |
t3_pp16k | AskReddit | If you could change any one thing about society, in hopes of making the world a better place, what would it be? | **Why are we as a people ok with positive change coming at such an alarmingly slow pace?** All over the world, people just the same as you and me, experience poverty, famine, and disease while someone pisses in a solid marble toilet. Someone down the street was just beaten for having skin that isn't quite the same color as the majority of people in his town. Don't we all look back at such atrocities as slavery and genocide and say "what were we thinking?" We all deserve a better place to live and a better society in which to function. It may be my rose colored lenses, but I think that we have only begun to scratch the surface of what we are capable of as a people... so lay it on me. If you could make a serious contribution or change to Earth's society as a whole, what would it be? **(Break down the barriers of the mind, they are why we're in this predicament in the first place) | The world used to be a ridiculous place to live... it still is. How would you like to change it? (Big or Small) |
t3_3imhl7 | Advice | How much pot is too much? | My boyfriend and I have been having a hard time with this. I can not under any circumstances smoke pot unless I no longer want to be a Fire Fighter which is my dream career. Fire Depts have polygraphs. Pot is illegal in our state. I live with my BF. My BF smokes pot every morning (wakes up at noon or later), middle of the day several times, and before bed every single day. He doesn't keep it out of sight and I see his grinder and bong (etc) every day. His personality seems like it is starting to change. I know that weed is not like alcohol, and that many people can easily manage their usage, but something doesn't feel right. He doesn't think that there is anything wrong with it, so he just ignores my pleas. Can someone give me a fresh perspective? Can someone shed some light on their experience? How much is too much? Or are you able to be responsible and functional with this much consumption? As a professional or a student which still maintaining exceptional performance? I just need to get out of my head and hear from people who know more about this than I think I do.
He is about to start school and has no intention of quitting or slowing down. He's also started investigating mushrooms. I found them today. | BF is smoking a large amount of pot each day, it's straining our relationship and I am worried for his future and for mine, but am not sure if I may be overreacting so please give me some insight. |
t3_2kyduz | jobs | My boss wants to give me a raise, but I want to quit | My boss called me into her office today to say that she's trying to work with our administrator to get me a raise. I've been at my job for a year now, she says, and I have more responsibilities and am probably being underpaid a bit since I didn't negotiate the initial salary offer (this is my first job our of college; I didn't know what I was doing).
More $$$ is fine and dandy with me, but the catch is that I hate the job. I can't stand my coworkers, including my boss, and the work is neither interesting nor in my intended career field. At the end of the day, it's tolerable and it pays, but I've been trying to devise a way out since week 1. Just this past month I have gotten my act together and am applying for new jobs.
My boss wants to get the paperwork including an annual review going ASAP because of impending budget cuts (I work for a public institution). I'm not sure what to do. Up to now, everyone thinks I like the position (I'm good at faking it; plus everyone is touchy-feely enough that I get asked "so are you liking it here?" every two seconds. It's also very interpersonal job where enthusiasm, faked or otherwise, is pretty essential to success).
I don't feel comfortable taking the raise and going through the paperwork and review process acting like I am happy and intending to stay, then bolting in a couple months if I get a job offer - this would be very unprofessional and underhanded, no? On the other hand, I can't say "thanks but no thanks to the raise, boss. I'm actually planning on quitting soon so don't waste the money on me."
Someone suggested that I just be up front about it, i.e. that I'm not sure if this is the right job for me, but I don't know how to go about that professionally without it sounding like I'm going to run for the door at the first opportunity and therefore harming my relationship with boss.
Advice appreciated!!! | Boss thinks I like my job, and I'm faking it well enough that she wants to give me a raise. I actually hate it here and want to leave ASAP. What's the professional thing to do? |
t3_hq4wb | AskReddit | Final Accounting Grade | At the end of my Accounting semester my grade ended up being 898.75 out of 1000. Me being a straight A student in high school, I had to ask the teacher if it was at all possible to get that up 2 points in order to get the A in the class and not hurt my GPA any worse since I got a C in Calculus II. She said she couldn't (understandably so), so I left it at that. Today while renewing a scholarship I saw that I needed my GPA to be 0.01 points higher in order to be able to renew it. Are grades once they are posted online and on transcripts final? Can they be changed at all? I really want to beg her for those 2 points since I'm losing $2000 dollars in scholarships. I would even offer to volunteer my time next semester and help her grade papers. | Lost a scholarship due to being 2 points out of 1000 short of an A. Is it possible grades can be changed so I can beg for that boost? |
t3_1hz5nq | AskReddit | How did your parents mess with your childhood ignorance? | When I was about 8 or 9, I fell in love with pigs. I thought they were the absolute cutest things in the world. So, in my 9 year-old mind, the best way to show my love for them was to stop eating pork. I stopped eating all bacon and pork chops that my mom made for dinner. Unfortunately, my mom made me ham sandwiches for lunch most days, and since she didn't want to figure out a new lunchtime routine for me, she made sure that no one in my family told me that ham came from pigs. Needless to say, I was quite upset when i found out what ham really was. She also told me recently that my family all laughed about it... | When i was a kid I stopped eating pigs because I thought they were cute. My mom made me eat ham and never told me it came from pigs. |
t3_15yxpr | AskReddit | What feel should I feel? | I've been seeing this girl who is 3 years younger than I for about 6 months (I'm 22 shes 19.) We slept together for about 2 months of that. She would come over every night and we would have great sex. After the second month her ex started messaging her and tried coaxed her back into being with him. Being the idiot that I am I deal with it for a little while. Now after a few months of putting up with that shit we finally have sex on Christmas night and it was great (short lived but great). I don't see her for another week. She plans on coming over last night and stays the night so I assume were gonna fuck. I ask. She says in the morning shes tired. Wake up. Try to fuck. She starts laughing in my face when I start kissing her and she proceeds to pull her pajamas up over her waist. In reaction of her laughing in my face I tell her to drive herself to work she instantly starts crying packs her bags and leaves and texts me saying that I'm a huge fucking asshole. What feels should this provoke from me? | Told a girl I've been seeing for half a year to drive herself to work and she left my house crying and swearing. Help. |
t3_pr4t8 | AskReddit | My Business Along With 12 Others Were Robbed, Burglars Caught, But Partner Using $ From Stolen Property To Open Local Tattoo Shop. What Can I Do Legally To Stop This? | On January 20th 2012 my business was broken into and robbed. The robbery was found to be part of a string of up to 12 local burglaries. Two of the culprits were arrested and confessed to the burglaries. They claimed they were using the money from the stolen property to finance a new local business they were intending to open. It was to be a tattoo and piercing parlor and they were able to finance all of the construction to run plumbing, electric, flooring and booths as well as neon signs and other miscellaneous tattooing and piercing equipment. Here is my dilemma; A "good friend" and business partner of the culprits, whom the police have not charged as being a coconspirator, is going ahead and opening the business even though the materials inside were (most likely) purchased with money from the stolen goods. There is also reason to believe that there are still stolen articles in the facility. The ones who confessed I already plan to sue, but I want to know If there is anything else I can do? I would like to get all of the businesses affected to file suit together to seize all of the assets of the robber who was the king pin and original owner of the establishment. My goal is to not allow this establishment to open since its profiting off of the misfortunes of at least 12 other businesses, but it would be nice to get my money back. | Got robbed along with a bunch of other businesses, robbers partner still opening a business with $ from stolen goods, and I want justice. |
t3_1i98q0 | relationships | My friend[27M] and I[25f] are attracted to each other, but I'm scared that things would somehow get weird and . Advice? | This is actually my first post on reddit ever, but this situation has been on my mind for a while now, and I'm not sure what the best approach is, so I decided to ask you guys for some help.
I [25f] met my friend[27m] at work 4 years ago. We had an instant connection, but I was in an on/off relationship with the same person until a few days ago. My friend was there for it all, and was the one I always sought out to talk to. We've come close to getting together, but when I was at an "off" point in my relationship, he was in one.
We have never acted on anything because of the circumstances. However, now that I'm "available" again, I don't want to have him be a rebound, but I also want to satisfy this... urge...
We're also in this same group of friends who get together like once a week, and I don't want that dynamic to change if things got weird. We also both tend to get attached quickly, and I don't want to be in a serious relationship yet, nor am I sure if I want one. Do I ignore these feelings and be single and just be friends, or do I just go for it and see if more tries to develop? Am I thinking into this way too much? | My friend and I have been mutually atrracted to each other for years, but I don't know if getting together is a good idea. |
t3_1jg7qt | relationships | I [16/F] am worried about my best friend [14/F] of 3 years because she is harming herself in multiple ways | Okay so, my best friend who has always been there for me and vice versa, had been cutting her thighs really badly and self-harming. Her boyfriend, a therapist, and I helped her through it, and she is over 6 months clean.
However, her and her boyfriend broke up, and since I was on vacation, she became good friends with this girl that wasn't very stable and was not the greatest influence. She convinces her to do various things with her and gets her into dangerous situations, and because of this she's been doing things that are out of character for her, like hooking up with several guys, drinking, taking off her clothes in front of boys, sneaking out, hooking up with upperclassmen, etc...
I'm just scared that when she gets to high school, reality will hit and people will talk about her behind her back. If she finds out that people are using her/gets hurt in general, she will start self harming again. I just don't know how to tell her to stop and that she's acting VERY impulsively and is hanging out with someone who could potentially hurt her. What do I tell her? I really don't want to sound rude when I say it. | My friend is hanging out with bad influences and doing things that are harming her physically and emotionally, and I'm afraid that she might go back to self harming again. What do I say to let her know that she is worrying me? |
t3_1e2l1s | relationships | [M 19] looking for way of politely bringing up the idea of getting in shape to girlfriend of one year [F 24] | I've been dating my current girlfriend for a little over a year now, and so far everything has been great except for one thing. My girlfriend, who was already a little bit on the hefty side, has been putting on more weight lately (4'10 160lbs). I really want this relationship to work because we get along so well, and the weight never really bothered me before, but it's getting to the point where the sex isn't really good for me. Due to the fact that almost all of her cardiovascular exercise is sex, she tends to get worn out very quickly and after she has a couple of orgasms I have to finish myself off. Also with the amount of fat down in her pelvis area it's troublesome for her to keep everything neat and tidy down there.
I know that being skinny doesn't mean that you are healthy, so lately I've been doing my best to try and get in shape because, despite my size (5'11 118lbs ±3lbs), I'm starting to get a little bit of flab. I'm looking for some way to politely bring it up to her that she needs to work on losing some weight. My best idea so far is to just tell her to wear a sports bra next time she comes over because we're going for a jog, but this may be a little blunt and could still manage to miss the point. | Great relationship on a personal level, but my girlfriend of one year's extra weight is starting to ruin our sex lives. Looking for advice on bringing up losing weight. |
t3_3gd00b | relationships | Me [22 F] want to break up with my ldr BF [25 M] of two years, not sure how. | I've never broken up with someone, so I am not sure what the best way would be.
Okay, here's the story. We met online in a video game about 2 and a half years ago, and have been dating for 2 years. I live in Sweden he lives in the UK. We've been able to meet up and spend time together about 3-4 times each year.
After this summer I am starting an internship in Australia for one year, and he's going to be busy with getting his own uni degree, so it's likely we won't see eachother for the whole year, and while I love him very much, I am not sure if I love him enough anymore to continue to fight for this long distance relationship because it's really hard not being able to see eachother most of the year, and it would only get harder :/
My plan was to visit him for 10 days in two weeks, before I leave for my internship.
I feel like I have to break up with him before I visit him, and cancel those plans. But I also feel like I owe it to him to break up with him in person, but that would make for a very sad and awkward trip, but atleast I'd be able to explain my reasons in person, and offer comfort or something, I don't know...
I suppose I should also mention that he suffers from depression. He's getting treatment for it though, but I feel like this break-up would be a set back for him in terms of his progression.
I hope you guys can give me some advice! And also, i apologize if my english wasn't that good. | Long-distance relationship about to get even more distance. We are both eachother's first relationship, so neither of us have ever broken up with someone or been broken up with. |
t3_333whj | relationships | I [21F] Told Off Girl who Tried Flirting with my Boyfriend [21M] infront of Me | And I don't know if I did the wrong thing or not, I'm worried that I messed up and he might think I'm super possessive or something. We've been together for just over a month, this girl approached him while we were waiting for our drinks at Starbucks, we weren't holding hands but I'm positive that she knew we were together.
She complimented how he dressed and I stood there awkwardly until she asks if he's be interested in giving her his number, like right in front of me, I was absolutely shocked. I said um no you can't, I'm his girlfriend and grabbed his arm and kinda pulled him away from her, then she was like "oh, okay" in a really rude tone and turned away. I don't think I reacted as bad as it may sound on here. Do you think I messed things up? I felt really disrespected by her and I reacted without really thinking first, I don't want him to think I'm crazy jealous or something. | This girl approached my boyfriend and tried asking his number, I kind of told her off, I feel embarassed now |
t3_1blw3j | Advice | Tired of hearing best friend's guy drama. How do I tell her to shut it? | My best friend has had a lot of guy issues. She liked one for a while, it didn't work out because he was still kind of with his ex, heartbreak, etc., and I was there for her for all of it and helped her through it.
Now, she likes her best guy friend and she always talks about how great of relationship they have. He's still talking to his ex (which she knows), and he's been sleeping with some other people we know (which only I know).
I told her that if she wants to be with him, she needs to tell him and sort that shit out, and speak now or forever hold your peace. Since she's not his girlfriend, she has no claim to him. She keeps talking about him now, and I don't want to hear about how she's trying to get closer to him; if you don't tell a guy you like him, then you have to shut up.
I don't want to be along for the ride on another emotional roller coaster of hers, but I don't want to be a bad friend. How can I tell her to keep me out of this since I already gave her my two cents? | best friend likes a guy but won't tell him how she feels, is whining to me about it and it's pissing me off. How do I tell her to shut up without being a crappy friend? |
t3_2w1lsm | dogs | Need help...buying dog for first time... | Hey everybody! I am ready to add a new family member to the family! I just have a few questions. I am planning to get a Pug puppy, and I have been looking into it a lot lately, everything from training, health, and personality, and it is a dog which I would very much enjoy (let alone I have wanted one for years). The thing is, I have never bought a dog before. My parents bought one dog, and it was at a pet store, I believe. I just have a few questions...Where would be the best place to buy a Pug puppy? Breeder, Mill, Store, etc.? And if I do, what are the common procedures I must do to obtain this puppy? I live about an hour away from the closest breeder, and I don't want to drive back and forth, unless I have to. Any advice for a new time pet buyer? | Buying dog for first time. Buy at Mill, Breeder, or Store? What are common procedures to get the puppy? |
t3_2dsmf9 | relationships | Could a girl(16f) who friendzoned me(16m) start liking me after some time? | There is this girl who I liked whom I confessed to three years ago through text(yes, now I know not to do that) of which she responded with an 'Okay ;x'. I never really knew whether that was friendzoning or not but that's what I thought it was.
Fastforward to the future when I decided to move on and go after another girl. However, around this time she started showing signs that she liked me. For example, she seemed a lot more hyper around me. There was one time when we did that thing in Tarzan when he met Jane and they put their hands together(to compare hand sizes, but we stayed like that for too long for just comparing hand sizes, also nobody compares hand sizes so did she ask because she liked me?) Also, even though we were not being squeezed in a crowd and had a lot of space around, she seems to purposely lean on me to try to see something. Also, there was one time I visited her class and then one of her classmates called her name then pointed at me like he was suggesting something to her about me.
Also, when texting her she would use a lot of caps and laugh a lot.
Then, when I moved on to the girl I'd mentioned(called Coffee to avoid confusion), the girl in question(called Bracelet) and Coffee are actually best friends. So when I heard that Coffee got a boyfriend recently(who is Bracelet's cousin), I wanted to confirm it by asking Bracelet. Ever since then, her replies have less laughs and emotes, and she gives one-word replies more often. Could she be upset that I like Coffee?
So could she like me? | Girl I liked friendzoned me. After a while she seemed to show signs of interest. I'm not sure if they really are though, so could she like me? |
t3_4xncp6 | relationships | Me [17 M] looking for answers about a specific girl's [17 F] interests? | The question I have isn't whether or not I should go after this girl, simply what the heck is she trying to do and what is her plan??
So if you don't know what Strava is, it's kind of a social site for athletes where you can post workouts and people who follow you can view what you do.
A girl on another team recently broke up with her boyfriend and left her phone number on one of my workouts saying that I should consider going to a college that she's going to because their running program is good, and etc... I find this kind of odd and we talked a little bit over text, so far about the college stuff.
My question is... is there something she's trying to start or is she genuinely interested in having me come. She is kind of a more self-centered type of runner so I have a hard time believing that she would care if I went there especially since the only thing she knows about me is what I look like and what workouts I do on a daily basis lol.
Any thoughts? I know it's general and not easy to answer so thanks in advance for any help. | Girl from a different team I haven't talked to before left her phone number and wants me to go to the college she's going to. What is she planning to do? Or am I thinking too much into it? |
t3_1irrqi | relationships | He [29M] 3 weeks, acts uncomfortable with me [29/F] being active/assertive/successful | I like this guy and he's charming in a lot of ways. He tells me how smart, pretty I am and that he wants to have children and take half the parental leave to take care of his kids, it's his tradition for the wife to keep her maiden name/sometimes for even the man to take her name. He's excited that I have a science degree and a little more education than him but he acts challenged/uncomfortable with my intelligence and ability to get accomplish/learn and things done. He's all sweet etc but he won't be supportive of me being active/accomplishing as much as I can although he says he is. This makes me really uncomfortable and depressed. I have had the experience in the past of people saying that they are supportive of me but not being supportive. I know men who don't make me feel this way but mostly they are in science and know more than me so I am always asking them for help and they are not challenged by me so I know it is possible for things to feel different and right. How can I communicate this to him and communicate what I would like/need ? I am an empathetic person and it's draining, discouraging and hard to accomplish things feeling that my partner that is unhappy with me surpassing him. | Dating partner acts uncomfortable with me accomplishing things/asserting myself. I'm fond of him but his attitude is irritating and depressing. How do I communicate my feelings/ask for change ? |
t3_46vrrm | askwomenadvice | Advice needed about a grand gesture I plan to make. | So I've [25/m] been single about 6 months now, after me and my ex [20/f] broke up with each other after a year of dating and 15 months before that flirting etc. I let her have space and I didn't push anything, only talked when she approached me, and trust me there were a few drunken phone calls where she'd ask me to get back with her, I always declined because I just didn't think it was right to say Yes to a question like that when she wasn't sober, even if I really wanted to. For the record she left me.
Months passed and she seems to have gotten over me, I don't know if she's protesting too much or if she really is over me. I personally feel I could win her over if I made changes. But those could just be famous last words where I end up flat on my face. I've currently set into motion a plan to win her back unbeknownst to her. I'm going to make myself a better man.
I plan to work my ass off for a few months, save up, slowly make my way into her good books again by fixing the problems I know I had, and when I have the money, I'm going to ask her to move in with me, like bam just like that. I've never been a person to take big leaps of faith, but for her, I want to. I've already told her my plans to an extent, I've just left out that part that she's pretty much the motivation for it all and that when I move down south, it's in the hopes that the gesture will be enough to show I've changed and I'm committed and she will say yes.
I'm not completely crazy. She is the end goal. But I know that it might not happen, if that's the case then I'll know that I have at least made strides in my personal life and completed steps before the big one that will hopefully make me happy enough that I tried, and not have a mental breakdown :')
Now, the root of my question here is, am I being super creepy with this or do you think it's romantic and that I should go for it if my heart is set on her? | Planning to win back Ex Girlfriend with a Grand Gesture and need advice on whether I'm being a creep or romantic... |
t3_1tv5sq | relationships | [M18] falling for "Friend With Benefits" [F18] | So theres this girl that I used to have a thing with, but she got back together with her ex so we had to call it off. About a month ago, she called it off for good with her ex, and me and her have started a "flirtationship", with a hint of friends with benefits.
When I say friends with benefits, I dont mean sexually. We mostly just cuddle a lot and make out and kiss a lot too. Last time we were making out, she seemed a lot more into it that usual. She started grabbing my hair and rubbing and grabbing my back and pulling me in more. I dont know if that means anything or not.
So, of course, I fell for her... again. This time I really think I could get her. The only problem is I dont know if shes over her ex. I dont want to say anything and ruin what we already have because hey, its better than nothing.
Any advice? | me and this girl flirt and make out a lot and I want to ask her out without ruining what we already have, but unsure if shes over her ex. |
t3_1ay845 | pettyrevenge | Revenge never tasted so sweet. | Back Story: I have an uncle that is currently living with my grand parents and I because he'd rather go camping and hiking than look for a job, he is also one of those "Believe as I do or burn in hell!" type of Christians (Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against any religion, I'm a very open and understanding person, just don't get pushy with what you believe in and start yelling at me why your beliefs are wright and mine are wrong.) Because of my uncle also being one of those *"I'm Always Right"* kind of people he is VERY hard to live with. He goes on about how I'm living my life wrong and is constantly starting arguments because the way he sees it I'm wrong, end of story.
The Good Stuff: Tonight a news story came on about a woman in New Jersey winning the power ball jackpot, and my Uncle started right in with non-sense about how the devil made her win the jackpot and that she was just going to squander the money away...Because she's a woman. "Wait" I thought "you're saying she's going to blow her winnings simply because she's a woman?!?!" and this started another argument, I mean really what does it matter whether the winner is Man,Woman, or a little of both? Any way I got fed up with him and was just about to storm off to my room because there really is no reasoning with that man when I remembered, in the freezer there was a couple of fruit pies (like the Little Debbie's ones you buy at convenience stores.) one for me, one for my Uncle. So on my way by the freezer I opened it up and grabbed both the Cherry one that was mine, and the Blackberry one that WAS my Uncle's. I am eating his as I type this, and I gotta say...Revenge never tasted so sweet. | My Uncle is a better than thou type christian that likes to judge others and argue about why we are all wrong. He made a very sexist remark, so I ate his fruit pie. |
t3_1fb2m7 | Advice | Bugs in my house | Hello Reddit, I'm having a bit of a problem. I live at home with my mom and a couple years ago, we were getting sewer flies in our house that would not go away. When we called the exterminator, he said they were coming in through a small hole in the bathroom wall which we could not get to and the only way to rid ourselves of this problem permanently was to get the wall fixed. The flies were persistent but eventually died off after about a year an a half.
Recently, we developed an ant problem in the same area of the house. I've also seen a lot of earwigs, spiders, and other outdoor insects and I came to the realization that this is most likely due to the cracked wall. Ripping out that area of the wall and fixing it would obviously be very expensive and my mom does not want to get it fixed because she said she does not have the money for such a big process. She said she'd rather wait until she sells the house and let the next person deal with it but that may not be for another few years.
It's really starting to bother me that we always seem to have insects in the house and I don't like the fact that I can't feel comfortable in my own home. I'm not quite ready to move out on my own yet (I was planning to wait another year or 2) but I fear I may be driven out of my house before I'm ready if I want to keep my sanity. Any advice? | House HIGHLY susceptible to outdoor insects because of hole in bathroom wall, mother doesn't want to do anything about it due to cost, driving me crazy. |
t3_2ifgy1 | relationships | I [23 F] can't stop purging and it is affecting my relationship with my [23 M] boyfriend. | My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. We've had a great relationship. He's the best guy I've ever dated, and we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together.
However, I have an eating disorder that is causing problems in our relationship. I've been bulimic for eight years. I view anything I eat as a purge, no matter how little I eat. I've tried to quit several times, but I can't give it up completely. I will go a few weeks or months without purging before giving in. My boyfriend has known about my eating disorder from the beginning. He has been very supportive in trying to help me stop. I stopped for a few weeks off and on throughout our.relationship, but have always picked it back up.
Recently, it's gotten pretty bad. I'm purging after every meal. I tried to hide it at first, but he found out. He told me that he feels helpless and hates watching me do this to myself. He wants me to quit before I hurt myself. I've already started to involuntarily spit up after eating. He's at his wit's end with this. I can see how much this hurts him and I hate it, but I can't stop. I've never been able to stop. I'm not sure I want to quit. I'm worried he will leave me because I won't quit.
Reddit, what do I do? How do I quit something I feel I have no control over? Am I wrong for not necessarily wanting to quit? Any advice will help. | My eating disorder is hurting my boyfriend and our relationship, but I'm not sure I can stop. What do I do? |
t3_49o096 | relationships | Me [30F] with my Fiancé [36M] of 10 years, Left me over a fight about responsibilities | My fiancé and I have been together close to 10 years and we've always have problems with responsibilities. In our relationship, I have always taken responsibility for everything, whether it be finances, chores or reconciling arguments. I feel like I have to to put 99% of the work into our relationship without getting hardly anything in return.
He proposed last summer and we have a date set for the wedding this June. Lately i have been thinking about the future and how I don't want to go the rest of our lives doing everything for us and taking care of him like I would my child.
I want someone that I would feel comfortable taking care of my future children and I just don't feel that with him. An example is he did not book the vacation time for our wedding until I reminded him last week (he has a job where his company needs a long notice), he doesn't remember to do important things like register his car, etc. I have planned everything for the wedding and he's contributed literally zero of it.
I am just so tired so taking care of everything. I told him after our last big fight (about 2 weeks ago) that I'm sick of being the one to take care of everything and feeling like he doesn't ever help maintain a healthy relationship and that the next fight we had he has to be the one to fix things. So last week we get into another big fight about him taking more responsibilities and was so upset I told him to try to fix things or leave so he packed a bag and left. I don't want to be the first to try to contact him because I am always the one that has to fix things. We haven't talked since.
I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if maybe I have enabled this bahavior by allowing him to be too dependent of me throughout the years... Can somebody tell me if I'm in the wrong and should be the one to apologize? I just feel like he doesn't care enough to show me he cares... | My fiancé and I got into a fight about responsibilities and he left and I haven't heard from him in 1 week. Should I be the one to apologize? |
t3_2ecoj4 | relationships | [26/F] I have an interesting tale for you all, nothing to urgent...just want the opinions of random internet strangers [25/M] | Met a guy[25/M] that I [26/m] liked, and he didn't feel the same. Nbd, it's not fun to deal with but it's part of life. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
We were friends for a year or so, but after a few rough patches the friendship slowly deteriorated.
Our friends mingled, so I saw him around and everything, but I never felt comfortable initiating conversations. He always initiated, and whenever there was too much silence or time gone by without contact, he'd send me a message or whatever.
Towards the end of our friendship, however, he was absolutely desperate to speak to me. I mean he wasn't crazy or anything, but it made me super uncomfortable.
I kinda want to know what it was like to be in his shoes, but we're not really talking. (I've tried :( he's not a huge fan of serious talks). Why would a guy who has lots of great friends, and is seemingly popular with the ladies react like this?
I'm pretty great, don't get me wrong, but I had nothing to offer him from his point of view. We were never sexual (don't think he had intentions of trying), we weren't best friends, and I just...irked him sometimes. That's what puzzles me the most, I seemed to get on his nerves all the time, and he wasn't interested in me, but he didn't respond the same way when I backed off. | guy rejects girl, guy gets annoyed with her friendship, girl backs off and guy tries really hard to talk to her even though she doesn't really have anything to offer. Why? |
t3_1ktmm9 | relationships | Our relationship is slowly falling apart Me[26m] and [25f] | A little background:
Me and my girlfriend have been together on and off for almost 2 years. We have had our ups and downs and have broken up a few times. When I met her she had a legitimate job. She had told me before we got together that she used to be a stripper, but didn't want that lifestyle anymore. Recently we broke up for about a month and she went back to being a stripper. I have no problem with her choice of profession.
So heres the problem. We just recently got back together and she doesn't want to have any sexual contact with me (other than kissing and hugging) for a while. That bothers me because I feel like she gives more attention/physical attention to her clients than she does me. It makes me feel less important to her than the money she's getting from her customers. Another problem we are having is that she's been stressed out lately about her living situation and life in general and her attitude towards me reflects these emotions. She yells at me..and just generally has a rude attitude towards me because of her situation. It really bothers me because she says she only acts this way because she's stressed, but when she goes to work I'm pretty sure she doesn't treat her customers the same way. Again making me feel less than them. So am I being too uptight about the situation or maybe over thinking it to much? If anyone could give me some advice that would be great. | My girlfriend and I just recently got back together...she works at a strip club and I feel like she treats her customers better than she treats me. |
t3_447s2l | running | Extreme pain while running/walking downstairs | Hi runners, so I am a 16 year old guy who decided to start track for the first time this year. I had been running before the season started quite often, usually doing 20-30 mile weeks with the team and training with them. This week was the first week of the official season, and as a result the runs are a lot more organized and structured and there's a lot more team-wide workouts. Anyway, yesterday we had a "hill day", which was basically running sprints of varying distances (10x100, 5x200, and 3x400) up a large hill. I felt fine during it and was doing really well, but on the run back my knee started to hurt and I had to slow down my pace a lot. I talked to my coach about it and he said that it's probably from overworking but shouldn't be excruciating pain as long as I ice it and rest for the night, which I did. But when I got to school today, something as simple as walking up/down the stairs made me feel like my knee was about ready to explode, and when I tried to go out for my run my knee basically gave out a quarter mile in. I headed back to talk to my coach again and he said that it shouldn't hurt that bad unless it's serious, and that if need be I should take some time off track and see a doctor. I was just wondering if anyone else has ever had this before, and what caused it/what are the treatments for it? Thanks for reading if you made it this far | was running 20-30 mpw before the track season started, 3 days into the season my knee starts hurting after a hill workout and apparently hurts a lot more than it should according to my coach |
t3_vg40d | relationship_advice | [21/F] My relationship has an expiration date, what should I do? | Hey Everyone,
This is my first post on reddit and I wish it were on a happier subject. I just recently learned that my boyfriend [M/21] wants to go to grad school on the opposite side of the country and is firm in his conviction to go alone.
I am not comfortable continuing to fall more deeply in love when I know that things are going to end but the thing is he has not even applied yet because we still have a year left of undergrad.
There are a lot of unknowns about the situation but that doesn't change the fact that technically in his best case scenario he would move across the country without me.
Has anyone else dealt with this before? Our relationship is most likely going to end but in over a year. Is it worth it to continue until then? I need some advice. He is my best friend and it would kill me to end it but if it's inevitable, why continue? Okay /rant. | boyfriend knows that our relationship will end when he goes to grad school in over a year but he doesn't know if he's going because he hasn't gotten in yet. not sure if i should stay or get out now |
t3_1cz1qp | relationships | (UPDATED) I F[18] feel disrespected sexually by my boyfriend M[21] | I would like to say thank you for all the responses to my previous post:
I talked to my boyfriend today. I told him how I felt disrespected and that I NEVER would do anal and I'm just not about it at all. I also told him that it was such a turn off to me when he would pester me about it during sex. He acted all pouty about it in a joking way but then apologized and said he wouldn't bring it up anymore. He said he didn't realized how much it bothered me and he just wants me to be happy. I think communication was lacking this whole time... Thanks to everyone for the encouragement to clear the air of this mess with him! | Told boyfriend I was not about anal and it would NEVER happen. He apologized for pestering me and promised it would stop. |
t3_231u1z | Parenting | Found out my Babysitter has been smoking weed with his pregnant girlfriend in the house while watching my child .. | background story: my SO had made a friend at work who happened to have a pregnant girlfriend. I was currently on mat leave and she was going on soon as i was coming off. she offered to watch my child so i agreed as i felt more comfortable with a friend watching my child while i was at work instead of sending them to a sketchy private babysitter. things went fine for awhile..over time i noticed she was not the cleanest or most organized mother. i was okay with that because everyone has different styles of parenting. time had past and she got pregnant again, she went back to work and her boyfriend got fired from his job and went on ei. to help him out with money we offered to pay him for the babysitting services, he agreed and things where fine. i noticed my child getting dirtier and dirtier. he came home with bum rashes, piss soaked pants and a dirty face everyday. occasionally he would have shit residue on his diaper from when he was not wiped properly. Today was the kicker for me, i came in after work to pick up my child and the house reeked of weed. i knew they smoked but didn't think they did it while my child was home. i am pissed. the worst part was he was with his 9 month pregnant gf who was also high.. i dont know what action to take. my boyfriend doesnt want to press charges because they are his 'friends' and it would cause too much trouble. i want to call the police and report it and i also want to call cps because her children are treated the same way. advice | my child comes home smelling like urine and feces while the babysitters smoke weed in the house and neglect my child. want some advice on which route to choose. |
t3_z8dmb | jobs | Trying to get a job that I have no professional experience doing | The title pretty much sums up my problem. I want to get a job building timber frame buildings, but I have no professional experience doing it. I have some experience as an amateur woodworker, and a little experience doing construction as a part of other jobs I've had.
Any thoughts on a good approach for me to take?
My current plan was to call and email a bunch of places to see if they would hire me on as an apprentice, but I don't know what kind of resume to even make. I was thinking about a functional resume to try and highlight some of the skills I have that transfer over. I don't know if people even use that kind of resume anymore. I would appreciate any advice anyone has. | Want to get a job as a timber framer, don't have any experience doing it. Willing to move just about anywhere. |
t3_20g3ws | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [18 F] one year, I love my girlfriend, but I don't *love* my girlfriend. | So, I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year. I should mention this is a Iong distance relationship (NY to VA, I met her at a camp a year and a half ago). I love her to death, but I'm not in love with her. She's amazing and kind and caring, she's going to school to be a vet, but I'm not feeling it. I almost don't want to be in a serious relationship at all right now, but I know most of all I don't want to lead her on. That's not a right thing to do.
At the same time, I don't want to hurt her. I would do anything to keep her from pain of any kind. That's the main thing keeping me from just breaking it off. At the same time, I would like to remain her friend, or at least be friends again some time in the future. I know I probably can't have it both ways, but I'd like to.
What do I do? | I love my girlfriend, but I'm not in love with her. I want more than anything to not hurt her, but I don't really want to be in a relationship right now. |
t3_26rpit | relationship_advice | I [23 F] am feeling neglected by my SO [25 M]. Are these feelings legitimate? | I've been seeing this guy for about 9 months now. I guess you could say we've been dating. Although we never officially declared the fact that we are dating, we are physical with each other and exclusive, and I would say we are very good friends as well. There are legitimate reasons as to why we never officially began dating, although I don't feel like getting into it.
I am writing here because I feel neglected. He's always been a bit flaky about hanging out, but it's been worse recently. My main question, is how often do you see your SO? We tend to see each other about once every two weeks, to maybe twice a week. This seems ridiculous to me.
I understand that he is busy-He is much busier than I am with work, and tends to work more hours than I do. I also understand the need to be alone sometimes, as I tend to be very introverted. I just often feel upset that we don't see each other much, and I don't know if these feelings are legitimate.
I haven't really dated many people, so I don't know if this is normal for a relationship or not?
Also, we live in the same town, so it's not like we have to travel long distances to see each other. | SO and I only see each other about once a week, although I ask to see him pretty often. Is this weird? How often do you see your SO? Is it strange for someone to want so much space? |
t3_2z10yo | relationships | I (16F) am crumbling under the stress of college and a demanding, possessive boyfriend (18M) | Hello. I apologise in advance for my jumbled up thoughts, I am literally all over the place.
I am heading to college soon and I have been under a hell lot of stress because of the same, coupled with an awful grade in physics and an extremely gruelling relationship.
We've been friends since I was 3 and he was almost 5. Our parents are friends, same school, same hobbies, same friends, blah blah blah. We've been together for just a little under a year, a while before he left for college. We both have an array of issues. I have/had severe depression, as well GAD & PTSD to go with it. He's bipolar and hands down, the most impulsive person I have come across. Neither of us ever try to excuse our behaviours by blaming it on our disorders, but discounting their impact would be stupid.
There is no concrete problem here and that's the worst part. We're both defensive and possessive. We are both painfully, excruciatingly possessive and we have been able to deal with the problems or caused and we are also working on it slowly. What I'm not able to shake off is his insecurity which is linked to any success I have, no matter how minor. I brought home a trophy from a biology symposium a few months ago and he completely flipped out, saying he felt like a dumbass and felt so inferior and that all he ever succeeded at was sports. This is not true. He did well academically and is in a very good program currently.
He also keeps reminding me how inadequate he feels because I'm graduating at 16. This is so shitty and I know everybody will say that this is a total deal breaker and that I shouldn't stand for it. But I cannot let him go. I want to make this work. I know he has issues. I know they are worth working through. I just want to know if it's possible. | Boyfriend and I are equally manically possessive. He feels inferior because I'm graduating school "way too early". |
t3_2764xc | relationships | Me [25/F] with my ex-boyfriend[22/M] 2+years, is it ever OK to try again after a violent history? | I dated a man for about 2 years and things were wonderful up until I lost my job. We had been living together for about 8 months and we were both under a lot of stress. The last 3 months were rough. We flight constantly, were not nearly as affectionate and lots of accusations on both our parts were flying around. It all came to a climax one night last early December and got very physical. We had gotten physical with each other a few times before (me slapping, him pushing) but this was bad enough I was taken to the hospital after the police arrived and we both ended up with strict protective orders.
Anyway, we both did therapy (me: private sessions with a shrink, him: anger managememt groups) and got back in contact with each other in April. We've been seeing each other again and are discussing maybe trying again. I know he cares and I definitely can't deny my feelings for him. I've been with more men than I would like to admit and none have moved me like him.
Now my question: I have always been lectured that men will only get worse when abuse enters the relationship. Quotes like "first time a victim, second time a volunteer always run through my head. I know the advice I would give my best friend if she had this trouble would be to stay away, you deserve better, abusers don't change, etc.
But is it possible to have a successful and healthy relationship after our history or am I filing myself? Any women here ever deal with a similar situation? Any input would be greatly appreciated since I have been reluctant to tell anybody I know about seeing him again.. | fought like cats and dogs, took 6 month break with therapy, discussing being exclusive again, is it possible to have a healthy relationship again after our troubled history? |
t3_3jy5yf | relationships | My mom [60F] may evict her half sisters [55 and 54F] and their daughter [22F] from "their" home for not paying the taxes on the property. Is that cold? | My mom and her half sisters father (my grandfather) passed away almost a decade ago. Even though my mom's half sisters and one daughter lived in their father's (my grandfather) home, my grandfather willed the house to my mom. My mom recently found out that the taxes on the property had not been paid for years and that the property was about to be foreclosed on. My mom questioned her half sisters about the taxes and they played dumb. My mom paid the taxes on the property. This did not sit well with her and she went on a rant about how no one chipped in to pay for my grandfather's tax problems he had from when he was alive nor did anyone chip in to help pay for his funeral.
So my grandfather's widowed wife elderly and suffering from Alzheimer's and is also living in the home. My mom says once she passes away she's going evict her half sisters and their daughter since they didn't pay the taxes on the property and then sell the property. Is this cold? I'd describe my mom and her half sister's relationship as nonspeaking and my mom said that should something happen to her, I should not let her half sisters into her own (my mom's) home. Just meet them at the funeral and don't let them speak. >_> Now I fully understand the drama that happens around funerals that doesn't involved the loss of a loved one, but possessions they left behind. | My mom [60F] may evict her half sisters [55 and 54F] and their daughter [22F] from "their" home for not paying the taxes on the property. Is that cold? |
t3_36jiez | relationship_advice | Girl drama, now I [22F] am being seen as the bad guy when I'm innocent. Should I care that others are talking about me? | Having a hard time time coping after this:
She's BACK with her bf and she hasn't called. I haven't talked to any of our other friends about what's happened because i don't want the story to get twisted BUT I can almost guarantee she's told others we know, played the victim, and painted me to be the bad guy. No one's reached out, ppl are cancelling on me...I just feel like it's all connected and their taking her side.
I know I shouldn't care because my TRUE friends won't just accept her side and drop me. But how do I deal with the feeling that it's everyone against me? | Girl thinks I flirted with her boyfriend when it wasn't like that. She's back with him and telling everyone. Now it feels like it's her side against mine and everyone's taking hers. Should I care? |
t3_42nvvm | tifu | TIFU by teaching my friends to protect their home | About 3 and a half weeks ago two of my buddies (who have been notoriously bad about locking their doors) had their house broken into and everything in their house that had any sort of value was taken.
So I head to their house yesterday and walk in to their unlocked house, only to notice that no one is home. I could not believe that even after having all of their belongings stolen just weeks before they still did not learn their lesson. I see Buddy #1's laptop computer sitting on the couch in plain sight right when you walk in the house. So I decide to hide his computer in his t-shirt drawer in his bedroom and throw the couch cushions off the couch all across the room. (I told Buddy #1 I was doing this just so at least one of them would know that it was a staged robbery. Buddy #2 is the one worse about locking the doors so he is really the one I wanted to teach the lesson to. I figured Buddy #2 would call his roommate before doing anything too drastic.)
Hours later Buddy #2 comes home and sees the couch cushions thrown across the room and the computer missing. He freaks out and immediately calls the cops and reports the "burglary". He then calls me and tells me about how he got robbed again and I tell him that it was all me and I just staged it to teach him to learn to lock his doors. I had no idea he would call the cops before telling his roommate or myself. He quickly called the cops back to tell them it was a prank and to not send a squad car, but the cop was already pulling up to the house so it was too late to cancel. My friend got hit with a $500 fine for reporting a false crime. So now I am paying for my friends' ticket. But maybe now he will learn to lock their doors... | Friends who recently were robbed left door unlocked again. I staged fake robbery to teach them a lesson. They call cops and get hit with fine for reporting a false crime. So I am paying the $500 fine |
t3_qgimg | relationships | Hi Reddit, I'm in a very happy relationship of 10 months, however, when i get drunk i actively flirt etc with other girls. I've kept it from GF so far. Should i tell her? How can i stop? | I'm at Uni at the moment and have an excellent GF (we are both 21y/o) who i care for deeply, more than any girl i have ever had before. This is probably my first ever genuinely serious relationship. However, i routinely get drunk without her, at least twice a week i go on AU socials with my rugby team and in the mix of the drinking and everything (girls do swan to the rugby team) i cannot help myself. PLEASE BE QUITE SURE, SOBER I WOULD NEVER DO THIS, just when i'm drunk. I've not actually slept with any of them yet, but have come pretty close, often i am egged on by my friends, who know i have a GF which is a problem. I have spoken to them about this, but when drunk, no one cares. I'm not going to stop playing rugby or seeing these boys, as they're a huge part of my life, nor am i particularly able to limit my drinking, anyone familiar with the politics of uni rugby teams will understand why.
What's the best course of action? Tell my GF? Because sooner or later, pictures of me being a prat will appear on Facebook i'm sure. Help Reddit! | i get drunk and flirt with, kiss etc girls despite the fact i have a GF, one i care for deeply. |
t3_1ii6xx | relationships | I'm 16 stuck without any idea what to do with girls i`m attracted to | As the title says i'm a16 year old male! I have an issue with actually the romantic side of relationships with females.
So far whenever there is a girl i feel attracted to i build up a friendship with and whenever it gets to the part of asking them out i always get the 'You're like a brother to me' or ' i wouldn't want ruin our friendship'.
Most of these girls i've felt attracted to are girls that i already have a close friendship with!
Is there any advice people can give me with this 'like a brother to me' phase.
Also what goes through a girl's mind when they say 'You're like a brother to me'? Thank you for any help. | Male[16] who has problems trying to get from being 'friendzoned' (a term used which i don't agree with) to girl's seeing me as datable |
t3_1dh9jg | AskReddit | What do you do when you expected something and it didn't come to pass and you felt your world end around you? | For the last 4 years, I have been studying to receive an engineering degree at a school in the Northeast. Through the shortsightedness of youth, I let a girl get in the way of my emotional and mental health Sophomore year. I then spent 2.5 years almost not being able to graduate on time until I managed to align my courses in such a way that I would pass, but only just so.
This last term was the most brutal one in terms of assignments and difficulty because I had to take programming courses. I was unfamiliar with how to program, but attempted it nonetheless. I got far, but I ended up failing one. Just one course meant I no longer received my degree. In the moment I saw my final grade, my heart sank, my legs turned to gelatin, and my face drained as pale as the paper.
I can't take another year of studies, to afford it is out of the question, and I can't possibly accept a job now that I am no longer receiving a degree.
My life is pretty much incomplete. I feel completely over-swarmed with emotion from anger to anxiety to even those dark thoughts you're not allowed to think. All because of a stupid piece of paper that I won't get saying that for the last 4 years I suffered but overcame, and I was wondering how others have felt being in something of the same situation. | Missed my degree by *that much* and now my life is over. When have you been in a similar situation/how did you resolve it? |