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110jreh | My parents gave me 80K to buy a place 5 years ago. My sister refused to be involved in any capacity (e.g. investor named on mortgage, joint live in owner) and so I bought alone. At that time, my parents agreed that the money was my early inheritance but they later said that they might expect me to pay an unspecified amount back and I ended up giving them 5K back in the year after I bought.Several years after I bought, my sister confronted me about her right to the 80K. I was a little surprised but after discussing with my parents agreed that I would try to help my sister buy if/when the time comes with money (equivalent to half what I received less repayments) to buy.My sister has never bought property but has now received 15K from me (5K) and my parents (10K) to pay for other expenses since I received the 80K. Her fiancé owns a home and together they are very financially comfortable/stable.Recently my sister asked about the remaining money (25K) and I responded that she would definitely receive money if/when I sold the flat BUT I would also try to help (exact amount would be totally dependent on my circumstances) if they wished to buy again before this date.I think this is a reasonable response, however this has now become a source of tension between us and my sister thinks that /I should find a way to give her the money now. AITA for not finding a way to give her the money now? | AITA for not giving my sister 25K? | NTA |
110u4sl | Hey y’all! My dog is a rescue and suuuper reactive with skateboards and scooters. He’s great with other dogs and people, but skateboards and the like are his only triggers. It’s sometimes tough for me to walk him in my neighborhood as we have a lot of both, so I like to take him to the dog park to get some energy out. As soon as we get in the gate there’s a young guy with a hoverboard and he starts using it. Not going very fast at all but enough to trigger my dog’s freakout sensors. I call my dog off (he didn’t bite or anything, but was getting close) and the guy stops and apologizes. I say “It’s okay, but probably not the best place for that.” As I’m walking away he says “Thanks for the advice, don’t need it.” At this point I shot him a pretty dirty look and made sure to keep my dog on the other side of the park. He however ceased to ride the hoverboard. I feel like that’s a pretty clear “don’t” but AITA for having a reactive dog at the dog park?Edit for clarity: this is specifically a fenced in dog park, not a multi use parkEdit 2: Thanks for the feedback everyone! Great points from both sides. I do want to mention that I’m in training with my dog. | AITA for getting mad at a dude with a hoverboard at the dog park? | NTA |
110wqlw | My partner (M23) and I (F25) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child a couple of months ago. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought.Around a month postpartum my partner’s cousin came around to meet the baby and when I asked for them back the cousin said “no” turning away for me. I quickly said “I'm the one that just had her, give her back” after a few moments he did.Then when the baby was around 6 weeks that same cousin’s mom came to meet the baby. My partner quickly told her not to kiss the baby’s face because we didn’t want the baby to catch anything and she replied “ah nothing is going to happen to her” and immediately started kissing her cheeks.Then on Christmas we were at a get together where the aunt was and while my partner was holding the baby, she walked up to him and thrust her arms out. “I want to hold her” my partner pulled the baby away but she continued to grab at the baby making the baby start crying out. Finally the cousin/her son told her to stop and she said, “watch because you won’t let me hold her she’s gonna get sick.” After that they left and her daughter showed before leaving quickly after as well. My partner's brother was at the other family gathering and relayed to us how the aunt, the daughter, and the daughter’s husband were calling us disrespectful and rude.At another family party a few weeks after, the daughter asked if she could hold the baby and I told her “maybe in a bit because she’s tired right now, it’s time for her nap”. “Oh” Now my partner's mom relayed to us that when another of her sisters said she was excited to meet our baby one of others mockingly said “well you might not be able to hold her”.As of today, we all got together again and everything seemed fine until after we left. My partner's sister was with the family and the daughter of the kissing aunt asked her “if I buy OP a Starbucks you think she’ll let me hold her baby” my partners sister told her that wasn’t necessary but the daughter told her I never let her hold the baby. Then my partner's sister said “did you ask her?” “Yes last time” “I didn’t hear you ask her today” which she didn’t the only thing she did was keep touching my baby grabbing at their legs arms and cheeks and even saying “you know if you don’t let people touch them they could get sick it’s called mal de ojo “. I told her in response that’s what the bracelet she wears is for, to protect against that. Then the aunt, at the gathering we weren’t at, was telling everyone about what happened at Christmas and how humiliated she felt. The conversation continued until my partner's sister started to get angry though defending us and our decisions, they ended it and my partner's sister left.As an outsider looking in, I genuinely want to know if I’m being over dramatic or over protective. | AITA: for not letting my partner’s family hold my child? | NTA |
1112czq | I’m turning 26 at the end of the week and I wanted to have a nice dinner with my family. My family includes my mom, grandparents, and three significantly younger siblings. When I suggested the place to my mom (think the same price as Olive Garden), I told her I’d pay for myself and my grandparents since it’s a bit expensive. I also told her not to worry about the cake as I would buy myself one. Today, she texts me saying she won’t get me a present since she has to pay for my family to eat dinner at the restaurant. This confused me as I haven’t gotten a present in years and wasn’t expecting one, and also because I already told her I’d pay for my grandparents. She then goes onto say that next year I should do my own party, meaning I pay for the food and the cake and “we” bring presents. I’m honestly not sure who we is because I also don’t get gifts from my grandparents and definitely don’t expect them to start. After this she starts complaining about paying for my siblings, my grandparents, and my uncle (who I don’t talk to and don’t know why he can’t pay for himself). I then told her not to worry about it and that I don’t want to do anything that day. She’s giving me the cold shoulder. AITA for cancelling the party so last minute? Am I just being a brat? | AITA for cancelling my birthday dinner? | NTA |
110gm7e | I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for about nine months. Last week her grandmother passed away. I declined going to the funeral because it was too early in the morning for me.My gf is upset with me for not going and doesn't understand "my logic". She pointed out I got up early for our supervisor's funeral (we work at the same company). I told her that was a little different, I worked with Emily every day and wanted to pay my respects.I only met her grandmother once, and as I explained to her, I would have had to get up really early and leave my place by 7:30am to get to the meeting spot at 9am where we would then take car service to the church. I am coming from Brooklyn into Manhattan. My gf already lives in Manhattan so she is not the one having to take an hour train ride in the morning. I already have to make this train ride 5x a week.My girlfriend said these are all excuses and she wants a break for now, she is really upset with me.AITA reddit? Or is my girlfriend in the wrong for not understanding my situation? | AITA for not going to my gf's grandmother's funeral? | YTA |
110tj8n | I live and work in the USA but my retired parents are in Italy. We've been toying with the idea of going to Taiwan for a family holiday for ages since we hadn't had a family vacation since my siblings and I were children. But I also wanted to go to Japan. I'd been to Taiwan before, so it was less priority for this trip. I've only ever taken holidays abroad once in my life (the last time I went to Taiwan) and I rarely take vacations.All of us were fine with me splitting my precious 2.5 weeks PTO between the two. I also paid for half my parents ticket costs, just haven't bought my tickets yet. My intent was to spend 11 days in Japan, and 7 days in Taiwan. But now my parents want me to revolve my itinerary around theirs, even wanting me to check into the same hotels/airbnb as them, which would force my time in Japan down to just 6 days.I pushed back saying I could just book a separate airbnb and keep my original itinerary, but they got angry, saying the whole point of the trip is to travel as a family. I pointed out that being retirees they have the luxury of staying as long as they want, while I can only spend a certain amount each time per year. They accused me of being selfish and not wanting to go with them, and then suggested I not go to Taiwan with them at all. | AITA for not wanting to spend most of my vacation with my parents? | NTA |
110i3s2 | I’ve (f32) been with my Italian husband (m45) for 10 years, married for a few years, I’ve known his family for many years as well. In laws are very nice people, make an effort with my large South American family (ex: they hosted a huge dinner at their home to celebrate our engagement and invited 30+ of my relatives, MIL even cooked most of the food), get along well with my parents and are just very sweet people. I have close relationships with my husband’s brother, wife & their kids. Mostly, I feel like I won the lottery with my husband and his family. Here is the problem: they still don’t know what country I’m from and what religion I grew up with! When it comes up in conversation, they either say “you’re from “wrong country” right?”, or “your family practices “wrong religion” right?”, and I always correct them but it DOESN’T STICK! It’s not some tiny forgotten country or religion either lol. I don’t get it!!! That’s a huge part of someone’s identity and I don’t understand why they couldn’t be bothered to know these things. My relationship is interracial and tbh it makes me feel like my in-laws see me as different and…. that’s it. Im just “different” and it stops there. I brought this up to my husband and he was hurt, said I’m ripping into his family for no reason. I can’t help but feel like I’m nagging at something that I shouldn’t because they are genuinely good people who show me a lot of love. And I love them too! I can’t get passed the fact that they don’t seem to know, or want to know, a fundamental part of me. Am I the asshole?? TL/DR: have the best in-laws but they still don’t know basic info about me after 10 years, I’m upset about it. | AITA for being upset that my in-laws still don’t know my ethnicity or religion after 10 years of being with their son? | NTA |
110xinp | I (17f) am a junior in high school. I’m not necessarily popular, but I have friends. There’s a dance at my school coming up which is our version of Sadie Hawkins, as it’s advertised as girls ask guys. Normally with cute signs and such, not dissimilar to promposals. I was talking to someone I thought was my friend (17m), and casually asked if he wanted to go with me. I didn’t do a sign because it was a spur of the moment decision. He said no, that he didn’t really plan on going to the dance. I said ok, and that was the end of our conversation. About five minutes later, he starts talking to some other friends about how he’s going to the dance with another girl. He was seated around two and a half feet away from me, so I could hear him talking about it. Didn’t feel great to know he’d lied. I should say, I am an acquired taste. I’m loud, blunt, and some would say annoying. I understand why he didn’t want to go with me. That’s not the part I’m upset about. I’m upset about the fact that he lied, but started talking about his other date where I could hear it. I confronted him and asked why he lied. I said I thought we were friends. He said I was overreacting and shouldn’t have listened to his conversation, which is true, but I genuinely couldn’t help but overhear. He made a comment about how I’m “not the girl guys typically wanna go with,” which really hurt. I walked away after that. I’ve had a couple people say that I was overreacting and it was rude of me to listen to his conversation. I understand that I shouldn’t have, and I won’t do it again. But I don’t know if I’m overreacting. | AITA for confronting a guy after he lied to me | NTA |
1110ece | I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this. My brother and I work together but do not have a great personal relationship. Long story short, his wife drank quite a bit and my mom had a substance abuse problem so it was unsettling to my Dad. I was always caught in the middle of that but would side with my Dad because honestly I felt she could refrain from drinking her 4 glasses of wine during the dinner we would all have together a few times a year. After all of this drama went down , my brother started to not communicate anything with his personal life. My Dad, brother and I worked together at our own company until my Dad passed away a year ago. It’s a fairly successful company and I am the CFO and qualifier. If I leave…it’s game over. So here is where it gets interesting…I just found out my brother moved and never told me. Like 6 months ago. Also I would like to add that most everybody who works with us knew but also knew that either I wasn’t supposed to know or he didn’t want anybody to know so nobody said anything. I just helped my brother fill out something which saved him a bunch of money because he didn’t know how to do it and when it came to his address, he read his old one to me which was clearly deceitful. I found out through the grapevine that he moved and looked up the tax records and found out it was true. This truly was embarrassing to me that we are related, business partners, and I was the last to know. I honestly don’t know if I want to continue working with him or if I should just make plans to exit gracefully. AITA? | AITA to want to exit? | NTA |
110whl7 | It was 12PM when my mom decided to go to the store and told me to watch my niece while I got ready for work. I had work at 1PM and it takes me 30 mins to get to work. So I only had 30 mins to get ready and then she leaves. I got upset about the inconvenience and called my dad to unload. I didn’t want him to call her honestly, I was hoping he would just let me vent. But he hurriedly got off the phone with me saying he didn’t want to talk. That hurt my feelings because in that moment I was also crying. Then he went to my mom about it.Fast forward: I come home from work and I see my mom has an attitude. I already knew it was about earlier so I told her I was open to discussing her issue. She tells me she didn’t appreciate how I reported to my dad about her like a child. I told her my intention was to get my feelings out, not for him to contact her. She was still upset that I went to him about her. I tell her that she’s done the same about me and also he’s my dad, I should be able to talk to him about my issues. She was still upset though because my dad had apparently called her with an attitude about the situation. I told her it’s an issue that he can’t simply be open to someone’s emotions and that was his doing to have an attitude with her about it. So after that the conversation fell short and at this moment she’s angrily folding clothes. Am I in the wrong here? | AITA for defending myself against my mom? | NTA |
1112rr1 | My (13F) mother (40F) has recently decided to have a healthier lifestyle, which i have no problem with. But what i do have a problem with is that shes trying to get me involved. Her excuse is that I’m always complaining abt stretch marks.She has assumed that these stretch marks are on my stomach because ive been getting fatter, but theyre only in the areas where you would expect them during puberty.In the mornings, my mum and sister (6) go on a 20-min walk while i stay home to put the dryer on, wash breakfast items, make lunches and put them in our schoolbags. Today, my mum wouldn't let me do that and told me to walk with them.I didnt see why i had to do that as i have to walk 2.5 miles to get to the bus stop anyway, so i already walk plenty.I went on the walk, but there was only 5 minutes left before i had to get going for the bus stop by the time we got home. I also noticed that my sisters lunch had already been made and her breakfast things had been washed up.My mum asked if i wanted her to make my lunch, but i said no thanks and id make myself a sandwich. A minute later, i go to the kitchen to get my phone and to make my sandwich and i see my mum microwaving some soup for me.I told her that i wouldnt be able to eat that as I’d lost the container for it, and it would melt any of our other containers. She then proceeds to yell at ME because “why would you ask me to make this for you then?!”I didnt ask her to make it. We argued for a while before she left for work and to take my sister to school. I didnt have time to make anything and i couldnt take the soup because i didnt have the container, so i just had to leave. I almost mussed the bus, but luckily i didnt.Was i the asshole? | AITA for not taking a lunch to school after what my mum did? | NTA |
110w0p9 | I (25 f) have a lot of health issues and have a service dog for them who was thankfully approved to be at work with me. In December I was placed on a new muscle relaxer and was told it was safe to take with all my medications by both my doctor and pharmacist. My doctor did say that for the first month or so to take it at bed time/when I’m staying home to get used to it. I’ve finally adapted to it, and due to needing back surgery I am now in a back brace. Today at work my back was seizing up and my head was killing me so I took both my pain medication and muscle relaxer together. 15-20 minutes later my service dog alerted to a seizure. I messaged my manager and stepped out. It lasted 15 minutes and I decided I shouldn’t drive home. My manager had already offered for me to go home so I called my parents. They got pissed at me and I’m just wondering if I should have stayed at work and driven home myself. | AITA for calling to pick me up from work after a seizure? | NTA |
110zete | Me (28F) and my husband (29M) has been married for 1 year now, dated for 2 years. We’re from the southeast asia. I've known my SIL ever since I started dating his brother. We would talk but just don’t really vibe with her so most of the times I wouldn't interact much with her.Reason is I think she's too spoiled. She's 25, she can't go to the banks, doctors, laundry or groceries by herself. Whenever she got some things to settle, their mom (F60) that lives 2 hour drives away from her college will always come to drive her around. She has driving license, but mom said she's too young to drive & get a job. She would carry around their mom's credit card. Whenever we'll go out for family dinner, SIL will be the last to get ready yet she always smells (which i don’t understand how) & I'm not that sensitive to body odor (I often spent my time at the gym) but I can't stand her body odor. One time she demanded my husband to give her allowance money, my husb explained that he can't afford it since he have rent & bills to pay, she throws tantrum for weeks until their mom decided to increase her allowance. She would sometimes demand to sleep in the same bed with me & my husband or she should live with us after college, but their father never let that happen (thank god). The day before my engagement ceremony, my husb was in charge to collect our desserts & he needs to be fast before those melts. Her sister suddenly called saying she has emergency & asked my husb to come immediately, it was 1 hour drive away. My husb went for her safety reason, turns out the emergency situation was her friend didn't reply her text & she just miss him since he haven't been giving her "enough attention" cus he's busy with our ceremony, the only way she could get it by this way (emergency call). When my husb arrive at our venue, all the dessert melted and practically ruined.Whenever we would visit her, she should jump around my husb while "hug me! kiss me! hug! hug! hug!" like a 5 years old which annoys me sometimes. One time she called me, saying she hates her family for buying her the phone that SHE CHOOSE, it turns out the phone doesn't have some features she wanted. I asked her if she could afford to buy a new one, I'll help her to do some research on the features, but she said she can't & its her family's responsibilities to buy her a new one. I ended the call immediately cus I can't tolerate shit. I'm close with my husband's cousins, we would always spend time together for picnics & stuff, & also from them I understand that my SIL was always a problem for them also, they just decided not to interact with her cus no good feeling comes from her. She’ll get jealous if I go out with their cousins but not with her, she’ll keep calling me & if I didn’t answer, she’ll call my husb to try to get me to spend time with her & if it failed, she’ll get their mom to call my husb. Often I would go with a heavy heart since I don’t see value for a force relationship. | AITA for ignoring my sister in law ? | NTA |
110vfj2 | For context I (M24) and my friend F(23) were at a party. She’s a very pretty woman, and the way she was dressed/had her hair style she looked like Lucy Liu. Let’s call her J. She didn’t seem uncomfortable by this, but one of her friends pulled me to one side later that evening and said I was super racist for what I had said. I apologised to J immediately. Her and her friends didn’t talk to me for the rest of the evening. AITA here?(Edited for grammar) EDIT TO ADD FURTHER CONTEXT: I have been rewatching elementary, and I made this comment because her outfit and the way she had styled her hair reminded me of Lucy in one of the episodes. J is Chinese, we have been friends for some time. J is very proud of her heritage and I have been very interested in going along with her. | AITA for saying my Asian friend looked like an Asian celebrity? | YTA |
110wy1q | WIBTA if I don’t attend my best friend’s weddingFor quick context, I (26m) have a best friend (27F) who we will call Patti. Patti and I have been friends for about 11ish years and we have a very platonic relationship. We met in high school and we were there for each other during some of the toughest years of our lives and she even helped me when I was at my lowest. She is a very close friend of, basically is my family and was there to support me when I came out and had to face some harsh realities from my family and helped my get through a toxic relationship with an ex boyfriend of mine. She is currently engaged and is set to move away to be with her fiancé and they will be married later this year (he lives in another state). Here is my issue, they have been dating for two years and I have never met him. Not just me but a few of our mutual friends and her outer family (cousins, aunts, uncles) have never met him and only hear about him. He has been out to visit many times but never as long as he has her visit him, and he has never taken the time to meet any of us, all of us live in the same valley for the most part and meeting us when he was down here. I asked around and the rest of our mutual friends have never met or talked to him and he never tried to reach out through any of our socials which he has access to a few of ours. Even a mutual friend who is practically Patti’s little sister (Patti seen her grow up and loves her dearly) has never from him or heard much about him. The stories she has told me of him are not the best and I have tried to have a conversation with him for 2 years and he l doesn’t respond. She says “it’s because he is super busy with work” but I pointed out “if he wanted to have a conversation with me or any of your friends he would have taken a few seconds to say hi” meanwhile she has tried to play with his friends who have left her feeling excluded a few times from what she tells me. I know we don’t have to be pals but she is like my little sister and I figured you can be cordial with your best friend’s SO. Now I am being told we all will quickly meet him before she leaves one time and the next time may be at the wedding. I am unsure about their relationship, I have expressed my concern to her as have others but it’s usually “he is just so tired” or “he just gets distracted” but again 2years. I know she wants me there but I am unsure if I can support her in this. Part of me also worries she is using this to escape her life here. (Her parents are vocal on their opinion of her life). She also didn’t tell us she was engaged, he told the chat we were in days after she returned from seeing him which was a red flag when asked and she said “oh I just forgot, didn’t know he’ll post it” I am highly aware of the effect this will have on our friendship hence is why before I ask I want to know if my reaction is dramatic or if I do have some right to be concerned?So would I be an a-hole if I don’t go to her wedding? | WIBTA If I don’t attend my best friend’s wedding | YWBTA |
1111imd | My husbands cousin and daughter are staying with us now. It's been a month so far. We have 2 daughters, 1 sleeps with us(co-slept since she was 3m and it's worked for us since and she's now 3yr) and the other sleeps in her crib (she's 1yr and has been pretty independent for bed since day 1). We have a 3 bedroom house, the agreement was the cousin gets my 1yr old room and my 1 yr old will sleep in her sister's room which I have a toddler bed in there because we were trying to sleep train my 3 yr old but now we can't, and we have my 1 yr old crib in there. Now my issue is, ever since the first night they stayed with us the cousins daughter wakes up my daughter in the middle of the night sometimes once or 2 times but the cousin usually tries to put my 1yr old back to bed and doesn't wake us up which is nice of her. I started a new job working from home at 8a which is not an issue but I stay up late with my daughter just so the cousins daughter can go to sleep first because she wakes up crying. Now my daughter will wake up in the night sometimes especially when a tooth is about to come through or if she's sick but she will normally sleep through the night no problem. But my thing is, why are we catering to the cousin and daughter if they said they'll have sleep arrangements figured out by the time they move with us (temp move). I stay up till 10-11p with my daughter just so her daughter can go to sleep first, my daughter was on her own sleep schedule before they moved in and now it's out of wack. I'm tired because I don't get much sleep. My 1 yr daughter no matter what wakes up every day by 8a which then she gets cranky if she doesn't get her sleep. How am I even suppose to handle this without being an total butthead. Like really aita for telling my husband 1 more week and I'm going to talk to your cousin since he hasn't? I don't think it's fair that my daughter and I have to sacrifice our sleep for someone else. A few times actually, I've slept on the living room floor right next to the futon where my daughter slept. I just need to know AITA...or is this reasonable | AITA for wanting my daughter to sleep in her own bed in her room alone | NTA |
1111iav | All the names even my dogs will be fake for privacy I walk my dog every Saturday at the same park and recently a little boy who I'm going to call Jack had been tormenting me and my dog on our walk by trying to steal the lead from my hands and take of Bella's collar or demanding that I let him pat her, I don't have any problem letting kids pat my dog but they need to ask for their own safety and for mine and no my dog is not a service dog or a registered emotional pet shes just a very very important dog to me The reason why I say for their safety and my own is because I need to make sure Bella is in a calm mood not a aggravated mood where she might scare someone and also Bella is very protective over me so if someone just tries to come up and steal her from me she will attack them and I don't want that and I don't think the kid or the parent wants that either The Saturday that just passed when I was walking Bella that's when the problem became bigger, Jack his sister who I'm going to call Diana and their parents were at the park and I was going to talk to the parents about Jack's behaviour and that's when Diana snuck up behind me and grabbed my dogs tail making Bella turn around and pull back pulling me to the ground with her while Diana was laughing.That was the last straw.I got up and checked on Bella while my brother Conner joined us and my best friend Jayden recorded it all, Jack and Diana demanded that I let them pat Bella and I stood in-between them and yelled at them for being little shits and their parents were about to go defend them but Conner got in-between them and started going crazy on them for not teaching their kids respect and responsibilityI mean they're children I know that and kids make mistakes but their parents were complete idiots and didn't even teach them how to ask for things it was just demand demand demand, I've met 4 year Olds with more manners Jack and Diana ran to their parents and they walked off cussing us out calling us assholes and practically every name in the book I know I shouldn't of yelled at the kids but I just got so angry and I really hope those parents have taught them some manners before I see them again | AITA for yelling at two kids for tormenting my dog and I | NTA |
110lmp0 | My girlfriend is upset again, so this time I thought I'd ask for advice from you all. I'll keep it short and sweet. We like going for bike rides: see the scenery, chat with eachother. We live in a rural area, so often, we get to bike next to each other without issues.Sometimes I get behind. Imagine my front wheel is about a meter behind hers. It's not that I can't keep up, it just happens that I'm steadily a meter behind. When that happens, my girlfriend slows down. I slow down too, since she's setting the pace between us. She'll ask me if everything is alright, why I'm behind, etc. To be honest, that's kind of annoying since it's hard to hear her with the wind in my ears. Clearly I'm fine, what could be wrong, I'm just biking. She then usually asks me to bike besides her, which I try to do for a while.Now this weekend this happened again and my girlfriend started slowing down, looking behind her. I slowed down too. She slowed down more. So did I. Until we came to a full stop and just stood there for a while. She seemed incredibly annoyed with me, called me an asshole and was short with me the rest of the day.I don't think I'm an asshole, I'm just doing what she does. I think she's an asshole for making a problem when there isn't one. She knows by now that I just get behind a bit.What do you think? AITA?Edit: I spoke to her briefly. She's still upset, way more upset than warranted if you ask me. She told me to stop being such a passive toddler and start being a partner, and when I pointed out that she's overreacting to this situation, she said it's about more than that. The thing is, I do not have any issues biking like this. And aside from her outbursts, I like our relationship. So I think this is her issue to tackle and she's blowing it out of proportion to make it my issue as well. Also, I see mixed judgements. The ones calling me the asshole seem to think I'm falling behind on purpose, which I don't do. I just don't catch up with her after it happens. Again, I don't have an issue with this. I was just checking if I'm overlooking something since she's reacting so intensely.Edit 2:I see a lot of asshole judgements now, I accept that you feel that way. But I just want to clarify: I'm not being passive aggressive or have malicious intent. I'm enjoying myself while biking and let her take the lead. Most of you take issue with that. My girlfriend apparently does too. I do not. So to me this just feels like a stalemate. And I think I'm okay with that. | AITA for riding my bicycle slowly when my gf does? | YTA |
110snub | My family has a membership at our local fitness center that has an aquatics area complete with a pool, hot tub, sauna, and steam room. This is a community center where everyone pays membership fees. Myself, my SO, our baby, and my stepdaughter went to use the pool during family rec time. After swimming for awhile, I took our baby out of the pool to warm up while my SO and stepdaughter hung out. The hot tub has a 10-minute timer for the jets, and there’s a button on the wall people hit to activate the jets. As I was walking over to the hot tub, I noticed the jets kicked off. One person had just gotten out and left, and there was one guy (“AM” - Angry Man) still in the tub. Without saying anything, I just hit the jet button and sat down at the edge of the tub to soak my legs and hold my baby on my lap.A few minutes later, AM gets out and goes to the lifeguard where I can see him making gestures and looking my way. I didn’t think much of it at the time, and he proceeded to get on his phone for a bit, then eventually got back in the tub where there were now several other people. At this point, a different guy turned the jets on, but AM doesn’t do or say anything. The rest of my family came over and got in the hot tub. Just then, the jets stop and another guy tells his son to hop out and hit the jet button. AM speaks up and says, Hey bud, can you leave them off? I’ve been trying to soak my shoulder, and someone just came over earlier and took it upon themselves to turn the jets on,” where I can obviously hear him. I looked at my SO and said, “I guess that’s directed at me.” AM never spoke to me, and this has been bothering me for 2 weeks because it was so unnecessarily passive aggressive. It’s very common for people to hit the button without asking anyone else, and I think it’s usually seen as a courtesy so that the people in the tub don’t have to get out to turn it on. So, AITA for not asking this guy if I could turn on the jets in the hot tub? Maybe I was being inconsiderate when I thought I was doing him a solid? | AITA for turning the hot tub jets on at the fitness center? | NTA |
1113131 | I (M28) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (F28) for two years. She has a friend (F36), let’s call her Sally, who recently left her husband of 10 years and is going through a wild phase. Sally is known for partying and having multiple FWBs who aren’t any different from her. I don't trust her and I worry about her influencing my GF to do something stupid. Recently, my girlfriend was planning to spend a day at a spa with a friend (F36), let's call her Sally, who recently left her husband of 10 years and is going through a wild phase. Sally is known for partying and having multiple FWBs who are not much different from her. Some of these men have even tried flirting with my GF when Sally invited them over. So I have reason to believe that Sally may not have my girlfriend's best interests at heart and I worry about her potentially leading my girlfriend into dangerous or harmful situations.Before my girlfriend went out, we had a disagreement and I asked her not to go. I expressed my concerns about her spending time with Sally and the potential dangers that may arise from that. Please note that I normally do not have issues with her hanging out with friends at all, this is the first time I asked her not to go because of how Sally has become recently. However, my girlfriend got even angrier and threatened to turn off her phone. She then lied to me about Sally inviting four other guys and stopped replying or answering my calls. Given the situation, I felt that it was necessary to intervene and reach out to Sally to stop inviting my girlfriend out.My GF ended up not going and we didn’t break up but as a result, my girlfriend and I have been at odds and she's been mad at me ever since. I feel like I made the right decision because I don't want her to be around negative influences, but I also know that I interfered with her social life and ruined her friendship with her friends.I'm not sure if I was wrong for what I did. I don't want to control her, but I also want to protect her. Was I wrong for messaging Sally and interfering with my girlfriend's social life?AITA? | AITA for Asking My Girlfriend's Hoe Friends to Stop Inviting Her Out | YTA |
110osme | I was walking my puppy today in my neighborhood.* My puppy is tiny at about 5 lb and is very friendly.* I always pull my puppy away from strangers unless they ask me to pet her.* I was on quiet residential street.* The street only has a sidewalk on one side.* The sidewalk is quite narrow. Maybe two person can barely stand side by side. I was quickly catching up to an old lady walking slowly in front of me. To be fair, I am a relatively fast walker, and I wasn't really thinking about the old lay in front of me because I was paying attention to the puppy in case she does something stupid like eat something bad or run towards moving car.Suddenly, the old lady murmured something, so I asked, "Sorry, did you say something?"She proceeded to complain about why I was following her and staying so close to her. I was holding my leash short to stop my puppy catching up to her (she loves people petting her), and at one point, my puppy was maybe at about 4 feet behind her.I was grumpy today, so I rudely said i am just going this way, and I was not following you. To this, she replied that she doesn't understand why i am following her. I was pretty upset at this point. I was minding my own business, walking slowly behind her to keep to her pace and annoyed at her complaining to me.So, with a bit of profanity, I said, "Do you want me to walk my puppy on the main road with cars passing by?" And she proceeded to say I am rude and murmured and crossed the road to the other side.If I was walking by myself, I would just walk to the other side and walk on the main road by pass her. But I was walking 5lb puppy, so I did not feel comfortable walking to the main road even though it was pretty quiet. | AITA for walking within 6 feet behind old lady? | YTA |
110v8nb | My partner and I are getting married this summer after 10 years of dating. My sister is maid of honor.About 1 1/2 years ago my sister started dating this guy. They got really serious really fast, and she completely lost her identity in who he was. He also takes advantage of her financially. After they had been in a relationship for about 6 months, I brought up my concern with him in a passing thought with my sister, and it sparked a huge fight. Over the course of a few months, the boyfriend was involved in the fight and the two of them spent the entire time ganging up on me, icing me out of my own family events, etc. I wouldn’t get invited to my sisters events because my presence upset her new boyfriend. The boyfriend would also listen in on our calls and read our texts when we were arguing about it. This period of time completely destroyed my relationship with my sister, and things haven’t been the same since.We are about to send out invites for our wedding and I told my mom I do not want him there. I will obviously invite my sister, but not some boyfriend who bullied me for months. My mom says that a wedding is about the guests, and my sister is the Maid of Honor and it would be rude to not invite him. She tried rationalizing that my partner is always invited places along with me, even though she’s never treated any family members poorly. I tried explaining that this day is also about myself and my partner and we don’t want anyone there who hasn’t been supportive/kind. Mom says I will just cause problems and that i need to think about my sister and he needs to be invited. AITA for putting my foot down and saying no?EDIT: I asked her to be my MOH before things went downhill. I didn’t want to revoke that because I still wanted her to be part of it. | AITA for not wanting to invite my sisters boyfriend to my wedding? | NTA |
110up35 | Throwaway because some of my friends have redditSo I (21F) have a group of friends i generally hang out with at my school. One of my friends, let's call her Jen (20F), is a moderately concervative Christian girl, and she grew up a bit sheltered. If her parents couldve afforded Christian school, they wouldve sent her there. She doesn't drink at all, she doesn't go to parties, she hardly even *swears*, and when she does, it's stull PG-13 language she uses. She even has a promise ring with "One Life, One Love" on it, so you get the drift. She still hangs with us and we get along even though our lifestyles are very different.Jen is nice and all, but she does tend to embarrass me a lot. Like when we go to a bar, she just sits there and whenever someone offers her a drink, she refuses, so people start looking at me like "why is she even here...?" She acts happy but its obvious she's uncomfortable, but she stays i guess to hang with us. She also likes to post her religious stuff on her social media, which is fine, but sometimes im seriously over it.There's other times where I feel like people are probably questioning why I'm even friends with Jen because we don't look like we have anything in common, also becayse of her concervative values being so obvious. So for one of our friends birthdays, we wanted to take him out to a bar because he was turning 21, so our entire friend group was invited. and i honestly didnt feel like having Jen just sitting there drinking an iced tea or water or whatever while everyone else is having a good time. She talks and laughs and everything, but its still a bit embarrassing. Some of Birthday Boy's friends who didnt know Jen were coming too. Shes usually teh DD too, but we had already assigned a DD. To avoid hurting her feelings, I told her the celebration was cancelled and that our group would meet up later. She texted me back saying, "cool, I wasn't up to going anyway", so i figured we were fine, since she didn't evne want to go. I also knew she would see it on social media, so at the bar, i avoided getting in the pictures, and i asked my friends not to share pictures with me in it.One of them clearly forgot, since the next day, Jen blows up my texts asking why i lied to her and sending me screenshots of the post she saw. I asked her why she cared because she said she didn't even want to go, and she's like "you shouldn't have lied to me anyway, I wanted to celebrate Birthday Boys bday" and then ignored me when i tried to explain. My other friends also texted me and called me an AH for lying to them and to Jen, and they said i should apologize. I really thought that her not wanting to go would avoid all that, and like i said, shes obviously uncomfortable.I'm having a hard time figuring out if I really am the AH in all this, or if Jen is just overreacting when she didn't even want to go. So Reddit, AITA? | AITA for uninviting my Christian friend to a birthday? | YTA |
1110p3l | A bit of background, my sister and I didn’t grow up with each other. She is technically my stepsister, and my parents split when we were YOUNG. They recently got back together, and my stepsister and I still don’t interact with each other. I say this because we are essentially strangers connected through our mom. I know her name, and whatever my mom tells me. I’ve only seen her three times in over a decade, so while she’s family, it’s not right knit.My family touts this thing about “you don’t owe family”. Except… apparently my brother “owes my dad 1300 dollars”, I am “paid up”, I bought this bed from my dad, and now I’m trying to sell it. I’m only selling it because I’m moving a few provinces away, and can only pack whatever fits in my car. Im fleeing an abusive relationship, and every dollar I have is going towards this.My mom wants me to give my sister my bed. I told her I could sell it for much lower than I’m selling it now, but again, every dollar counts, and I really need the gas money. She’s ignoring me now… WIBTA if I held firm in this hill? | WIBTA if I sold my bed to my sister? | NTA |
1110n5t | Background 1: My husband secretly met another woman ~2X a year for four years and complained about me to her while pretending to me that everything was fine. There was no romance, but he shared a lot with her that he didn't share with me, and she encouraged him to lie to me. I gave him another chance and we are supposed to be reconciling now.Background 2: My husband is Japanese and I'm American. Every year we rotate between American and Japanese-style Valentine's. With Japanese style, the woman gives the man chocolates, which he reciprocates on White Day a month later.Background 3: My husband is often passive and I am often labelled as controlling. Recently I told him I will no longer make requests of him (re: housework, planning dates, etc.) and allow him to make all his own decisions.Usually, I bring up Valentine's Day a few weeks in advance and we discuss how we will do it that year. We often can't remember what we did last year, so we have to discuss it. This year, to let him make his own decisions, I bought him chocolate and I let him deal with whether he wants to do it on his own.Three days before Valentine's Day, he asks me which way we are doing it this year. I say it's up to him. He seems to remember doing it American style last year, so he wants to do Japanese style this year. I say okay.The next day, I remember that we actually did Japanese style this year. I tell him so. He asks me what I would like to do then. I say it's up to him. He chooses Japanese style. When I ask him why, he says there is no particular reason and he didn't think about it much.I got upset because it seems like he made the decision based on what is easiest for him rather than considering what I would like. As I am American and we did Japanese style last year, I would have liked to receive something. He says I shouldn't get upset because he would have done it American style if I had told him I want that. However, I think he should have come to that conclusion on his own.At first, I tried not to say anything since I didn't want to control his choice. However, he could tell I was upset so he asked me what was wrong. When I told him, he argued with me about it. Then we got in a big fight where I basically said he is insensitive and he said I am overly sensitive.AITA?ETA: For me, it's not just about Valentine's Day. It's about the lack of effort, especially after an emotional affair. | AITA for telling my husband he is insensitive for not wanting to get me a Valentine's Day gift? | YTA |
1111jv1 | So, I was meeting up with two friends (one I have known for a very long time (A) and another I have just recently become friends with (B). We met up at the mall and were kind of just looking around at shops. We passed a generic store that sold stuff like graphic tees and other merchandise, as well as snacks and drinks. We decided to go in and after a few minutes of looking friend B saw a snack she wanted to try. I think she had brought around 30$ and I brought $90.I had already bought a few things in other stores and felt comfortable counting my change in front of both friends to see if I had enough remaining cash. I had more than enough. friend A made a comment about how I was "rich" as a joke. Friend B added that I should pay for her snack. I laughed, but then she added that it would be a really nice thing to do because "she didn't have as much money as me."I felt like I was caught in a corner because first. I didn't want to upset friend B (she has a history of "standing her ground" in a way and fighting for her side) and second, because I didn't want to come off as rude to friend b in front of friend A. But why should I have to pay for friend B's snack? Simply because I have more money than her? I should have just let it go because it wasn't super expensive for a snack. But I don't want her thinking that I can just let her do that kind of stuff to me or that I take that kind of behavior. I told her no and that she has enough money to pay for herself, and she kept begging about how "it's just this one thing" and that it "wasn't a big deal," but I could not put up with it anymore. I ignored her as I payed for my own things and walked out of the store. The last hour became a little awkward between friend B and I, and we haven't talked much since. Friend A pulled me aside after friend B left and told me that I should have just payed for it and that I could have just made her pay me back later. I understand both sides, and I'm torn. Am I the Asshole? | AITA for not paying for my friend's item when she had the money to do it herself? | NTA |
110y26v | Everytime my mom and I get into an argument no matter how nig or small, she always threatens to kick me out of the house. I am 17 and I am already going to be going to college in August. This has been going on for almost a year and I turn 18 in one month. I usually just stand there and take it but today I felt she went too far with it. She started to attack my personality flaws, and I completely lost it on her. I told her that she made me feel like shit every time she yelled at me and how she always found a way to blame something on my even if I am not in the wrong. I told her that when I turn 18, I will find a place, move out, and never talk to her again if thats what makes her happy. Am I the asshole? | AITA for losing any care towards my moms threats? | NTA |
1112lh0 | Hey, I’m F18, and a couple weeks ago my childhood friend (Let’s call her ‘C’) and I each bought $1600 round trip tickets to Germany.I admit, when deciding to commit to the trip, I got overly excited thinking about all the new things I’d get to experience. Also, C went to college for a semester in Germany and knows the area well so would be my tourguide. I knew she was a bit pushy and spoiled, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until we started planning our trip together.She told me to change my flight tickets two times. The first was because she wanted me to switch to an aisle seat so that it’d discourage anyone from taking the middle seat. I told her that was fine, but that since she was the one who wanted me to change seats, she’d need to tell me the exact seat # she wanted me to switch to so that I could call into customer service and change it, but she wasn’t able to put 2min of effort in to look it up, until I nagged her a bunch. A few weeks after that, she told me that “I” picked the exit aisle so we had to change it again.Sometimes, I feel like she treats me like her parents. To explain, a couple years ago, C had depression/anxiety, so her parents pandered to her a lot and they still spoil her. They will drop everything for her. One time, her mom was out at lunch with some friends, but C wanted some yarn at the back of the house so she could crochet. Her mom left the lunch early to get it for her. Another time, her parents cancelled their dentist appointment so C could take the car to go to the gym that day. They also get her anything she wants.I feel like she treats me the same way because whenever she wants to hangout w me, she wants me to drop everything and come over right away. Also she’s not very nice to be around because she complains all the time and wants everything done her way, right away. Im not sure if I can survive a Germany trip with her TBH, there’s going to be a fight at least once during those 10 days! I don’t think I can take being with her 24/7.Anyway, today my parents sat me down and told me they don’t feel comfortable with me going to Germany with C because they don’t trust her. They think she may go off with a boy when we go clubbing/bar and leave me stranded, and she hangs around her flatmates who do various drugs. They want me to cancel the trip.The problem is, the ticket is nonrefundable, and C would be FURIOUS asking me “why isn’t your mom comfortable with you going with me? what did u tell ur mom?!” Etc etc. I might lose one of my only childhood friends.Her family is well off so the lost $1600 wouldn’t hurt them and they could repurpose that ticket for a different trip, but I’d just feel generally shitty for telling her after we bought the ticket. Id want to use my ticket to go on a trip with some different friends tbh, which would be a huge slap on the face to C.WIBTA? Should I just suck it up and go on the trip with her even if I know it won’t be very fun? | WIBTA if I dropped out on a $1600 Germany plane ticket with my friend? | NTA |
110q6zh | My friend accused me of wanting to go to Thailand to sleep with prostitutes but before I get to that I have to explain the motivation behind going to Thailand:*My friends and I are thinking about doing a trip to Asia since none of us have been. The three friends (20's M) that I am going with are all white. I am middle eastern, and my skin tone is darker. We were talking about going to Japan or Korea because we saw some cool hotspots online that we would want to visit. We also want to go clubbing and partying as well. We know that in Japan that it is so safe that you can just pass out on the street if you get too drunk, which would make a fun vacation story haha.**A recent problem I found with our plans is that a lot of clubs in Japan and Korea will not let in people with a darker skin tone. I found this out by seeing some videos online of Indians trying to get into club in Korea and getting rejected. I talked to my chinese roommate who has traveled and then I also did some research online. It seems like I might get rejected from some of the party spots.* *I told my friends about this and they all decided that they would like to go somewhere with less colorism so I can join in on the fun. We decided that we could go to Thailand or Vietnam where there is much less discrimination. We googled online and it seems like Thailand is much more popular for tourism and partying so we chose Thailand.*I was hanging out with some other friends and one of them is Korean. She (mid 20's F) has traveled a lot so I asked her if she has been to Thailand and if she recommends any places to visit because me and my friends are going there. She immediately looks offended and says she's not surprised four guys want to go alone to Thailand. I asked what she meant and she told me she knows we are only going there to sleep with prostitutes. I was super surprised and said that is not the reason at all. She then asks why I chose Thailand out of all countries. I told her that I do not mean to generalize her culture at all but did tell her the truth on why we chose Thailand over other asian countries. She immediately calls me a racist a\*\*\*ole and says that Korea is not that bad at all. I wasn't trying to offend her but I did not want her to think I am just trying to sleep with prostitutes.TL;DR AITA for explaining that I am not going to Thailand because I want to sleep with prostitutes but because I might face discrimination in other asian countries? | AITA for defending myself about insinuations for why I want to visit Thailand? | NTA |
110yehy | I (16f) have friends my dad disapproves of. My friends are great people. They are nice, don’t do drugs, don’t have sexual partners, and are good students. My dad, however, says they are emotionally manipulative and are taking advantage of my love of gift-giving. Because of this, he has banned me from buying/making them anything. I don’t know where he got this idea from, as my friends are very nice people, but I don’t argue with him.Two days ago, my friends were talking about how lucky I was to have a partner during Valentine’s Day, and how nobody ever thinks of the single people. I felt bad for them, as I understand the pain of being single on Valentine’s Day, so I decided I would buy them each something unique and individual to them.Today, I told my dad I was gonna go shopping for clothes, and he said alright.Instead, I went shopping for my friends, and I ended up buying them ~$200 worth of treats and stuff I thought they would like.I brought this home, and tried to hide it in my room, but I failed and my dad ended up finding out. He got pissed and yelled at me for feeding my friend’s “narcissistic behavior”. He said I needed to grow up and stop being taken advantage of. I yelled back, saying that it was my money and my friends and that I can buy what I want for whoever I want.He went silent and stormed off. A couple hours later, he texted me saying that I was grounded, and I can’t go anywhere without someone else around until I leave my friends. I’m upset, as my friends are the only people I have at my school. I feel guilty though, as I never yell or lie or go behind my dad’s back.What should I do? AITA? | AITA for lying and buying stuff my dad doesn’t approve of? | YTA |
1112c38 | I (18f) have been seeing this guy (19m) for a few weeks now and we really hit it off right away. He’s really sweet, it’s like out of a fairytale. For context, he still lives at home with his parents. This is totally fine since I do as well. I’ve been spending time with him a lot at his parents house, as my situation at home isn’t the best. His parents are very wealthy white people, and I’m an indigenous Hispanic. I’ve never experienced any issues with them, they’ve been cordial and nice to me every time I’ve interacted with them. Tonight, I went over to his parents place to watch the Super Bowl, and they had some friends over to watch with them as well. It was one couple, we can call Tyler and Charlotte. I was nice and cordial with them, they were fun and kind. At one point while watching the game, the husband, Tyler, turns to me and says “I have a question”. I assumed it would be about my work, as I told him what I did for work moments earlier and it usually raises a lot of questions (I’m a mortician). He looks at me and says “what’s your opinion on the leadership in this country? Can you even vote in this country?” I froze completely. Who asks that? To someone you just met? I gained my composure and said “it’s not something I discuss with people I just met”. I look for any distraction near me, I keep looking around for help and my boyfriend is trying to get him to stop. This man continues to snap his fingers at me, like you would for a dog, and says “you have to tell me”. A man I met. 30 minutes prior. I stood up, starting to get flustered. I saw my boyfriend grabbing my stuff for me, he sent me a text saying “We are leaving”. I said, “you will not speak to me like I am a dog. You asked a very personal question that is considered rude to ask, that I reserve the right to not answer.” He started saying something I can’t remember because all I could think about was how angry I was. I left without saying anything else. So, am I the asshole? | AITA for leaving the party early? | NTA |
11116j4 | My mom (F44) is always smoking at every chance she gets. I (M19) have told her several times that I don't support that vice, but I don't stop her from doing it either, (if she wants to do it, she knows the consequences).But I draw the lina at buying her cigarettes; I have always told her that if she wants to continue with her vice, she is responsible for buying them (I do the same with my dad, I never buy him beer). She hasn't taken much importance to that, until a few days ago. I was in a car with her, she parked in front of a store because I was going to buy a soda, she gave me money and said "Buy me some cigarettes please." Logically I just stared at her and told her "I won't do it" to which she replied "Yes, if you'll do it". I stood my ground and told her "I'll just buy my soda" and got out of the car. My mom got out of the car angrily, took the money and went to the store to buy cigarettes. I got in the car.When she got to the car, she became hysterical, telling me that she doesn't understand why I object if I do worse things (like always using my cell phone) and that I can never do her a favor (when this is a lie, I always buy her cookies, sodas, etc.). We didn't talk for the whole way home, but that got fixed, we never stayed angry for long.Even so, I can't stop thinking, sometimes it doesn't cost me anything, after all, if I don't do it, she will, but it's a matter of keeping my principles, so AITA? | AITA for not buying my mom cigarettes? | NTA |
110gin2 | So my partner and his eldest daughter were playing the new Harry Potter game upstairs in the bedroom, I don’t mind this what so ever and I enjoy helping them play too. We did it the night before last too. But he’s mad at me because I was really tired last night and wanted an earlier night at 10pm so I said I want to go to bed now and he’s been mad at me all day today. The night before I asked them to turn it off around 11 or 11.30 I can’t remember and that was fine. He always goes to bed very late around 3am anyway. Apparently I’m in the wrong as I wanted the PlayStation in our room so we could all play together but I shouldn’t be allowed to boot them out when I want to go to bed and that I should go sleep in one of our children’s rooms (I have a 4year old and a 7year old with him too). Apparently he’s going to take the PlayStation downstairs today into the living room so they can play it later into the night which I’m fine with too. AITA? | AITA for booting out my partner and his eldest daughter | YTA |
110npp0 | I (18F) recently came out to my best friend (18F) as bisexual. Though I wasn't sure she (let's call her Pam) was an ally, I felt safe sharing this with her and she told me she was proud of me. I had assumed she wouldn't tell anyone but just to be safe, I asked her to keep this to herself. This is where the problem stemmed from. She was confused and started going on about how I don't have to hide myself or be ashamed of who I am. I let her know that though our country protects the lgbtq+ community, we're still discriminated against and my parents especially would not be able to accept me. She said she didn't expect this from me. That I'm so carefree and bold so I should be able to own up to my real identity. That I couldn't expect her to keep quiet about it because she didn't think I was any different. And that I have to tell my parents sooner or later because they will have to accept me. Desperate, I told her how difficult it was for me to come out to her and I would've never trusted her and told her about my sexuality had I known she wouldn't be willing to keep it to herself. After a moment of silence, she agreed to keep it to herself and I just said "let's never talk about this again" and that was that. Few weeks later, Pam invited me and our mutual best friend (let's call her San) to dinner and we were having a good time when San suddenly said she was happy I felt safe coming out to Pam. Pam had told San that I'm bisexual. Her reasoning being "San is an ally. You know that". This ticked me off. I yelled at her for outing me even when I had explicitly asked her not to. I was furious at her for not respecting me and potentially endangering me. The reason why I hadn't told San was because I'm not as comfortable with her as Pam. Even though San is an ally, she can be very outspoken about her support and while I love that she doesn't hesitate to support my community, I didn't want to end up on her insta where she loudly proclaims how proud she is of me (she's anything but subtle). Pam told me she just wanted me to have another person who would always have my back. I told her it wasn't her place to decide who should have my back. I also went maybe a little too far and said "being ignorant is just as bad as being homophobic if you're this comfortable outing your friends to anyone". Dinner was awkward and I left Pam's house with San, feeling down and frustrated. On our way home, San told me she was sad I didn't trust her enough to know that she'd never hurt me. I told her this had nothing to do with her. I would've told her some day but it wasn't Pam's place to tell her about it. While San agreed, she also said I was an asshole for blowing up at Pam even when I knew she was just trying to be helpful. Pam hadn't said more than a goodbye when we left and seemed very sad and distant. I feel like I may have overreacted and acted like an asshole. I don't want this to strain our relationship. I know she meant well. | AITA for blowing up at my best friend? | NTA |
110vt6q | I (28) have been friends with this girl for for probably ~20 years. We were very close in high school but had a falling out and reconnected a few years into college. Ever since then, there’s been noticeable tension. She was supposed to get married in 2020 but due to the pandemic it was pushed to 2022. After she asked me to be in her wedding, we had a blow up fight but reconciled and then the pandemic happened and we progressively grew apart during the pandemic/she was a bridezilla and it got to the point where I didn’t want to be in her wedding anymore but still was. Since her wedding, we’ve definitely talked a lot less and she’s had a baby. We keep in touch mainly through a group chat, only occasionally 1:1. I got engaged this year and have been starting to do wedding planning. She asked me how it was going and we chatted a little about it. I knew her sister was getting married next year too so I asked when her wedding was planned so I could be aware as we selected a date. Fast forward and the venue and date I want is the same weekend as her siblings. The venue could be booked later in the year but we were hoping for this timeframe for our wedding. Am I the asshole if I still choose that weekend knowing full well it’s the same weekend as her siblings because I asked just recently?TLDR; am I the asshole for making my wedding the same weekend of my childhood friend’s siblings wedding? | AITA for booking my wedding the same weekend as my childhood friend’s siblings wedding? | NTA |
110yajj | T/A b/c I don’t know where this might end up (please don’t repost to FB)My partner (27m) and I (26f) have a 1 year old little together. I’m just sort of at the end of my rope and thought I’d get some outside voices b/c I feel crazy.Our situation is straightforward: he works full time (blue collar so it can be long hours and hard work, which I understand and do my best to show him I appreciate!) and I’m a SAHM. He does well for himself and is a really hard worker. As far as I’m aware, we’re stable and live what I would call comfortably.I am then left with the responsibility of our little and our home- which is fine with me! This past year I went back to school online to finish my degree so I can start my career and help provide financially by the time little is ready for school, so that’s definitely me adding to my own list of responsibilities, but I feel it’s important for the future of our family and can usually get by!My issue is times like these- I’m dealing with a sleep regression, teething, illness, it’s just a lot. Little is very attached to me, so times like this can make it especially difficult to get anything done besides making sure they’re taken care of and as happy as can be. But the sleep issue has been going on for two months straight and I’ll admit after bedtime I’m drained. Two nights ago I finally worked up the nerve to ask my partner if he could help (just clearing up after dinner and picking up toys laying around while I do bath and bedtime, which can take over 2 hours some days) He sounded annoyed and said that he doesn’t ask for/receive any help with our financials (so he shouldn’t have to help with the housework is what I knew he meant- this is not the first ‘discussion’ we’ve had abt this during hard times) He went on that all he wanted was for me to take care of our house and take good care of our little, and he was about to say something he’s said before about how I’m “asking him to do everything” before I had to walk away, just not having the emotional energy for what I knew it’d be. I was just asking him to pick up the table after dinner and the few toys that are in the living room. My pride really doesn’t want anything else- that alone would lift the weight coming out of an 1.5 hr long bedtime fight with little, with still more to do beyond that.I feel like he resents me for asking for help with anything, and that includes with little. Even I resent me for that, because I know he works hard. But I think I resent him too, watching him relax and play videos games for hrs at a time during the weekend, sleep in on his days off, and engage with his other hobbies instead of helping so we can ALL spend some time relaxing together.Just typing all this out I feel ungrateful because I do get to stay with my baby every day because he provides for us and I’m lucky for that, but I just feel so frustrated, burnt out, and shut down. AITA? | AITA for asking my working partner for help? | NTA |
11127fc | So me (29yo M) and my fiancé (25yo F) have been together for 5 years. During those 5 years she has cheated on me on several occasions. One with one of our mutual friends. She met this person (19yo M) a few days ago and was messaging and planned to hang out. She didn't tell me until the night before. Fast forward to that day, she went to work and was gone from 10am to 9pm. She worked 11-5p and didn't talk to me the entire day. When she came home she had a bag full of stuff saying they went to the mall, bought clothes and coffee. After a argument she admitted that this new friend bought her over $100 worth of items at the mall. I told her that I couldn't trust her being around this person after her telling me that she wanted to kiss them and possibly go back to theirs to do things. After the heated argument, I told her that what she did was went on a date with this person because I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with her hanging out with someone she just barely met the day before. To me it felt like a date because who meets someone and the next day buy them that much stuff? AITA for wanting her to not speak to this person ever again and return the stuff she got from them and then block them? | AITA for asking my fiancé to stop hanging out/talking with someone she just met? | NTA |
110sz3x | Before I begin, I would like to assure you that I am not breaking clergy-penitent privilege, as I am not an ordained minister. I am simply a person in religious authority, and the person in question did not speak to me in the context of a confessional. I am a person in a position of minor religious authority in a small town. I am displeased with the current state of said religious organization, and will likely leave due to the fallout of the actions I took to help the individual concerned. In my position, I counsel couples encountering marital difficulties. Divorce is highly frowned upon, even in cases where extreme justification exists, to the point of victim punishment by means of shunning and eventually exile by all members of the family. Recently, I was tasked with aiding a woman and man who encountered marital troubles. It became clear to me very quickly that this marriage should not have occurred, and that an extreme situation existed. After speaking to both parties, our counseling session ended. I spoke to the woman and advised her to divorce due to her husband's actions. God does not look in favor upon those who violate the vow they took to protect their spouse, and her husband has violated the sanctity of that vow. I am now receiving many communications from individuals displeased with my behavior, as the woman in question has left with her belongings and filed for legal divorce. The elder has stated he will not recognize the divorce, and the husband has expressed his displeasure at my counseling, despite his unwillingness to correct his own behavior. I would like to ask someone else who is not influenced by my community if I am in the wrong. Thank you for taking the time to read, and may God bless you all. | AITA for counseling divorce? | NTA |
110v5lw | I (33m) and my partner (36f) have been together 2.5 years. We live about 50mins drive apart but living In Sydney that’s not a huge distance for locals. I admit that She has done the majority of travel to me in our relation because she has a teenage daughter at home so it’s just better if we stay at mine more often. Last week my partner had breast surgery . It was a fairly major surgery and we expected her recovery pain to be pretty high. I asked her to come to my house to recover because I work full time and it’s only 20mins to my home from my work. She has insisted she would rather be in her own home because her home is more comfortable with her own bed, her familiar homely things around her, her friends live close by, and she has air conditioning (currently summer in Australia) and I don’t. I picked her up from hospital, took her to her home and stayed with her for the first night. The next day I went to work and took the keys to her building so I could let myself in after work because getting out of bed to answer the door would be difficult for her. I finished work at 5pm that day and the thing is, I am on a training program and the gym so the gym is very important to me. I knew she was alone from midday that day and she called me from bed telling me she couldn’t get out of bed and was stuck on her back because of the pain. She hadn’t been to the toilet in nearly 6 hours. Her friends couldn’t get into the building because it’s a security building and her daughter was at an event. I decided to go to the gym after work before going to help her. While I was at the gym she called to tell me her neighbour had managed to get into her home to help her out of bed. She was a bit embarrassed because she doesn’t know her neighbour very well and she had to get help in the toilet. When she heard I was at the gym she became pissed off. Her neighbour had just helped her so I can’t see what the problem is. The next night I was exhausted after work, she wanted me to come and stay with her again (I have an allergy that makes me tired when it flared up) so I just went home after and stayed at mine instead. She slept alone at her house and had to call a friend in the night to come and help her with the pain management.Now my girlfriend is hugely pissed off and thinks I have been no support. I told her it can’t be her way all the time and if she had just came to stay with me then I could have treated her like a queen. I also don’t see why her daughter hasn’t helped her more.Where she thinks I may be the asshole is because she thinks her recovery should be about what she wants, not what suits me. Where I may be the asshole is because I made my needs a priority over helping her after surgery. | AITA for expecting my girlfriend to be more flexible for me? | YTA |
110ousg | My (17 male) mum died almost 4 years ago due to cancer. My dad got remarried and she came to my house 4 days ago. My uncle on my mums side said that he and my other uncle and aunt will come to my house today at 7pm (to meet my dad's wife).My dad's cousins said they will come at 3pm (told my dad TODAY at 3pm) in 30 -45 mins. They came with their family at 3.15pm. For context I sleep in the front room and there is a backroom. They went into the backroom. I thought would be 1 hour like my dad said and he said they won't come in the front room. Half an hour later he come in saying that there is 15 people and they will use the front room to eat and I said no. He then came with fucking Styrofoam plates and plastic bowls and said it again and I said no. He left the Styrofoam stuff in the room and I put it outside the room. I took 5 minutes to process it and said OK they could use it since he said it would take half an hour of eating then they will go home. He said he will pay me 5 pounds for it. Four hours after they came, they finally left and my mums side of the family came. I went into the room and almost felt like crying. There was a smashed up rubix cube on the floor, charger unplugged, my table was pushed over, the eating mat on the floor with food still on it, my lip balms in a pile on the corner of the room and my pillow on the floor which I presume was used for someone's back. (I was cleaning my room for 7pm when my dad told me about using the room). My cousins were playing in the room and I took my pillow and blanket and went into the attic with my cousins wanting my cats. (One stuck behind the sofa in the backroom and one luckily escaped).I don't want to meet my uncles and there is probably no food left and I am starving. WIBTA? ETA: I have a migrane now and I'm keeping one of my cats safe from the cousins but I don't know about the other one behind the sofa | WIBTA for being annoyed and not meeting my relatives after my previous relatives destroyed my room? | NTA |
110lsgd | My wife is my lobster. We met 17 years ago and married two years later, we have two incredible and feral teenage daughters.I'm the romantic in our marriage. Our 10 year anniversary, I surprised her by flying her brides maids back to our town and held a vow renewal in the same place we got married, with the same photographer, officiant, flowers etc. In the beginning, I would make flip book stories and wire art for her from stuff at work. After we earned more I would start sending her away to visit her girlfriends and jewelry etc I even surprised her with a Christmas trip to visit her best friend in England where she got to see her great grandmother for the first time in 30, years on her 100th birthday weeks before she passed away.I'm a hopeless romantic. Raising two daughters and worshipping t. It's always been important to me to show them how a partner deserves to be treated. To never expect or settle for less than their worth. My wife not so much, she loves me. I know. She just doesn't do romance .She's never done anything for Valentine's Day or anniversaries and even forgot my birthday once. It never got to me. My daughter suggested i take a break from things and just do nothing for Valentine's Day since "mom always said we don't need to be told when and how to love our partner" So I got her a signed and personalized book from her favourite author and a hand crafted leather bookmark with her initials. Well, she found out I'd no real plans and kind of blew up a bit. Told me it was crappy to not do anything.I still got flowers, the book; bookmark and resos to her favourite restaurant. but for her to be mad is seriously out of right field.Am I the A-Hole here?TLDR; Wife is mad I'm not going all out on V-Day even though she doesn't do romance or special days.Edit* ok to head some things off. My wife is incredibly attentive and giving. Just not overtly romantic and is terrible at gift giving. Doesn't mean she doesn't try. She's also not "spoiled" sorry if I gave that impression, she's always super grateful and I love thinking about how to make her happy and doing little things for her. That's not spoiling her, it's consideration to and for her happiness. Our 14 year old suggested a quiet night when I was struggling for ideas as the last 3 months have been insanely stressful with work, renos etc and my wife's best friend seconded it so I'm soliciting marital advice from our 14 year old. This is also the first time she's asked if I'd made plans and told her no. First time in 17 years so it probably came across as shocking to her and I'm worried I've possibly given her the wrong impression about not caring or that hers is possibly just an expectation response. Hope that clears some stuff up | AITA For Doing Nothing on Valentine's Day | NTA |
110rxlu | My (27f) boyfriend "BF" (27m) and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and have been living together for most of that time. BF has always been close with his brother ''H" (32m). They enjoy playing video games together and board games as well. We mostly host game nights at our place as we have a hugh board game collection and plenty of space for people. H has spent a lot of time at our place over the last 18 months, and most of the time that has been fine, but during an incident last year when playing games H accused me of cheating during a board game.Essentially, I accidentally flipped a card from my deck over too early in a coop game, immediately realised my mistake and put it back before I looked at it. H told me that I had cheated and needed to shuffle my deck. I was confused and told him I hadn't cheated and hadn't even looked at my card. It was 100% unintentional. H didn't care and kept insisting that I reshuffle my deck. When I said no, he started yelling at me about how I was "ruining the mood" and it was all my fault. He brought up other times when I'd made small mistakes with games (I once looked at a card too early in a game), making out like I was always intentionally cheating and ruining everything. When I have brought up the rules of games to people (including H) though on separate occasions, I have been told to not take it so seriously, or have been corrected.After he yelled at me the rest of the night was incredibly awkward and I kept getting up to check my phone/use the bathroom so I could try and keep my cool as I was on the verge of tears the whole time. Afterwards, my BF sent a message in our group chat mentioning that we needed to try and keep these events civil and friendly in the future. The next time we played everything was fine, but H never apologised or explained his outburst to me.We didn't say anything else at the time as we hoped it would just go away and that it was a once off event. Since then though I have noticed that H's attitude towards me has changed. He makes fun of everything I like (calls video games I like lame, jokes that House of the Dragon was a shit show when he knows I loved it), and as much as I have tried to fix the relationship it just seems like he's not interested, which is his choice.My BF finally messaged H and GF and explained how we felt and that he hoped they would treat me like family. GF read and responded, H left the message on read. At this point H was pretty much ignoring me completely and my BF. I then sent a letter addressed to them both, explaining how I felt and asked them to let me know if I had done anything to insult them or to cause them to dislike me. I also asked for an apology from H. I got a response from GF but again, H ignored me.I have tried putting effort into fixing the relationship but it is clear that he wants to put no effort in himself.WIBTA if I stopped inviting him over to our house until he at least acknowledged our messages or gives me an apology? | WIBTA if I stopped inviting my boyfriend's brother over until he acknowledges what happened? | NTA |
110j9jy | My (32m) wife (24f) and I live in the UK, and my wife is a "SAHM" (though we do not have any children, we are hoping to in the next few years). After lockdown ended, my wife didnt want to go back into school (previously she had wanted to do a masters degree, but didnt want to start online), as she reasoned it didnt make sense to pay for if she is just going to be a SAHM in a few years, she also didnt feel like re-joining the workforce for the same reason.I agreed on both fronts, as it wouldnt really be necessary for her to work, and it doesnt make sense to pay for a degree she wont use. I reasoned that I work a lot for my dad's company, and if she could take on the domestic chores (really just cleaning/tidying as we pretty much only eat out or have meals delivered --and we have a gardening team for grounds maintanence), then we were both working as a team.Recently she has been upset with the ammount of work that she has to do, because the house is quite old and stuff is always breaking and shes having difficulty keeping up with it. I am also messier than she is, and she is starting to resent 'cleaning up after me'. She suggested we hire a domestic servant to take on the cleaning, and some food buying/prep as it would reduce our eating-out/delivery costs. I was hesitant but when budgeted, it wouldnt really cost that much to have someone in 5 days a week, and if it makes her happier, I am OK with it.My issue though is everyone we have interviewed has been foreign, and I am concerned about their legal status working. I am concerned about illegally employing someone, particularly if they get hurt (trip and fall or something), and am concerned if they may live in conditions with persons without strong social bonds in the UK and pass out information about how to break-in to our house. After the interviews we have done (including through two different agencies), I feel like I want to reconsider. My wife sees this as me going back on my word, and is saying I am being racist (I dont care about the race, I just want the person to be a legal UK citizen or have right to work, and feel comfortable that they have an established network in the country). My wife has been giving me the silent treatment for the past week and has moved into a different bedroom. A close friend I brought it up with also called me an asshole, and a racist. Are my requirements unreasonable? The domestic servants we had growing up (live in) were an older british lady and her husband, I was kind of expecting the same. AITA? | AITA for not wanting a foreign servant (UK) | YTA |
110vx5s | I am 30f and moved into my inlaws house in January. We did it to save money for ourselves and also help my fiance’s parents with bills. We pay 50% of the rent and pay for the internet. We also give them money for groceries. I have never cared to cook before because i work full time and have always lived on my own and done my own thing. I do not have kids either so have i feel my time off can be used for more “selfish” needs (sleeping, watching tv in my room, hours of video games). I agreed to live by their rules which includes no alcohol , no dog, and keeping it kid friendly because theyre very christian and have an 8 year old daughter.My motherinlaw prepares meals a few nights a week which she was already doing for her family before. I make sure to clean the dishes and put leftovers away as a thank you. She’s started to make remarks about how she’s the only one cooking and how no one is volunteering without asking me directly to help out. I feel i shouldn’t be expected to do anything other then paying our share of bills and cleaning up after ourselves. She works part time from home while i work fulltime doing warehouse work so i completely refuse to do fall into “housewife” duty work. My fiance doesnt have expectations because he knows i work hard and don’t ask him to change my oil or any other “man” duties. Motherinlaw is obviously upset that im not cooking or spending all my free time “as a family”. Am i the asshole? | AITA for not meeting MIL expectations | YTA |
110zjyp | My wife and I live in an urban neighborhood and currently own five motor vehicles. Two are parked in a garage on our property. Two are always parked directly in from of our house. One vehicle that is driven almost daily is parked in various open spaces on our block. All vehicles are in good working order (no rust, damage, flat tires, etc.) and are driven on a weekly basis.Today a neighbor confronted me about the number of vehicles we currently own. The neighbor walked up to me and asked, "What's the deal with all the cars? I replied. "What do you mean?" to which he said, "Don't give me that. You know what I mean. Owning five cars is wrong!" I explained. "I don't believe owning five cars is inherently wrong but you're obviously angry. What can I do to fix whatever is upsetting you?"From there, the neighbor lectured me about how we leave our cars all over the block (see above about our parking of them). Despite me repeatedly asking what I could do to make him happy, he never articulated what I believe he was thinking, which was, "Please don't park in front of my house." After telling me multiple times that, "Owning five cars is wrong," I calmed said that I would not tolerate him passing moral judgement on me, and was done with the conversation. I assured him that I would be mindful of not parking in front of his house in the future. This is a neighbor that we've always gotten along with for the 14 years we've lived in our house and they've never mentioned our vehicles being an issue before. We always try to be considerate when parking and often park the "floating" vehicle in front of neighbors' houses who we know park in their garages and not on the street. Parking is not at a premium on our street and spaces are plentiful.AITA for owning too many cars? | AITA for owning too many cars? | YTA |
110j7fx | I (13), went on a family hike with my mother (50F), father (43M) and sister (9F). It first started off pretty bad when my parents started arguing on the car ride to the place. I just kept my mouth shut and put on my headphones to block out the soundWhen we got there however, I still stayed quiet. I don't know why I do it, but I normally stay silent and/or have a hard time talking when I'm stressed or anxious.I walked behind my family most of the hike and just tried to stay out of things. My father noticed first and started to get annoyed with me. He started yelling at me about how it was meant to be a family trip and I wasn't making it that. He was annoyed at me staying quiet the entire trip and would get angry when I struggled to respondThen when my mother approached me after, she tried hugging me and I instinctively froze up because I thought she was gonna yell. She got pretty angry at it and yelled at me and told me I was part of the reason the hike went so wrongI feel like an absolute dick now for spoiling it.So Reddit, are my suspicions correct and AITA? | AITA for staying quiet on a family hike? | NTA |
1111p37 | I (23m) live alone, besides my cat, up to today, now I own two cats (Important) My (25f) sister came over today.Edit smack dab here: she was coming over, WE ARE NOT ROOMMATESSister and I try to see eachother 1-3 times a month. But since I live alone, when it’s just her and I it’s usually my apartment or going out (if I come home it’s a whole family thing instead, we want 1-1 sibling time yakno?)Long story, I took in a 2nd cat, he was supposed to be here 3 days ago but the people who sadly had to hand him over into (imo one of the best cat dads) had issues so I got the new kitty literally 2 hours before my sister came.Immediately, she asked where the cat was so she could seem him (duh, who wouldnt want to see their bros new kitty) but I said, “I want him to hear your voice so he knows someone new is here, lets talk for 15 minutes then you can meet him, he’s in the other room”She says, “it’s fine,” as she walks towards the room he’s in.I say “no, lets talk, give it 15”She inches towards the door, I said no over and over. 5 times, slowly raising my voice. I never yelled, but heck I would have loved to, but I said in a firm and loud, on the fifth time “NO stop disrespecting my house and my rules” all I asked is 15 minutes by the 5th time she inched towards the door (not dramatic, baby steps towards the door as if she’s testing me).Cont/edit: (sorry I lag with too much text on reddit).I don’t understand how, even if it’s as ridiculous as any of you make it out to be that I didn’t just let her see him. Why did I have to say No 5 times over and tell her to leave? AITA here? | AITA for kicking my sister out of my apartment? | NTA |
1111oxq | From the title I kinda sound like an asshole-Anyways, I have this kid in my class with autism.(9th grade) let’s call him Jake(Not his real name!)During lessons several people in my class have seen him picking his boogers/nose. I have seen him do this as well. Jake touches his privates, then he touches people. For instance, the teachers.He enjoys farting (very loudly.) in the middle of class, often in a quiet environment.Multiple people have told stories of incidents they’ve had with him most of them of him shoving things into people’s hands, forcing them to take it even when they deny. I’ve had an experience with him as well, first week of school everyone is getting to know each other. He began to talk to me during a lesson, I politely told him I was busy and I would appreciate it if he would leave me to focus on my work. He persisted to try and talk to me even after class, following me through the halls. I had to run into the bathroom to get away from him.Everyone is too scared to complain to the principal or teachers partially because he has autism. | AITA for judging my autistic classmate because he does things that make everyone uncomfortable? | NTA |
110tzvs | Backstory here for you i F19 live in the UK. Me and my twin grew up close but started to get distant around 13 years old. I have a disability called cerebral palsy which means walking can get hard and I get tired easily. I also have depression and anxiety so I get tired from that too. My twin was a bit of a glass child she didn’t get as much attention as I did because of my disability. The reason why I want my identical twin to move out is because she started being verbally abusive towards me at age 13 and then began verbally abusing my mum at age 16. I tried telling her that maybe she should get some help for her anger but that only makes things worse. My twin who il call rose in this post calls me and our mum all sorts of names over any little thing such as asking her a question, running out of shampoo anything that is an inconvenience for her and it’s really getting to the point where I’m upset and don’t know what to do I myself can’t move out as I am dependent on my mother and me and my mum are best friends so am IATA for wanting my twin to move out?Edit: rose can switch she calls me and our mum names and then buys us presents to make up for her behaviour. Never an apology though she always excuses her behaviour saying she didn’t have to behave like that if there was shampoo or no one asked her a question | AITA for wanting my identical twin to move out | NTA |
1110cl5 | I (28M) and my girlfriend (26F) do not live together but she works close to my house and has my keys.The other day I unexpectedly got a call from a contractor for some work on the exterior of the house I had been waiting months for. They had a last minute cancellation and could do my job the same day.I asked my gf if she could help me out by giving them access and also asked her to pick up and dispose the dog poop in my back yard from my 3 dogs.I had neglected doing this for a short while so there was more poop than expected and since she had come early from work she was in her work heels which are open sandals. She cleared the yard but ended up stepping in some poop with both shoes multiple times and it's really disgusting as it got both on the soles and inside.She wanted me to clean them for her when I got back home but I refused and suggested we throw them out and I buy her new shoes. But she liked that pair and didn't think she could find an equivalent. We got in a fight and she ended up cleaning them herself and leaving.AITA here, I was willing to buy her new shoes. I know I should have kept up with clearing the dog poop in the first place but the visit was unexpected. | AITA for not wanting to clean my girlfriend's shoes after she stepped in poop while doing me a favor. | YTA |
1110cgy | Went to a birthday party at a friend’s house the other night. Maybe 20 of us there. It was the host’s wife’s birthday but she is a part of our friend group also. We had agreed beforehand that we were ordering in Chinese food so we all picked off the menu and let the host know what we wanted. The host placed the order, picks it up and we enjoy our food. After we sing happy birthday, the host cuts and serves the cake he had purchased for his wife. The next day I text the host and ask how much I owe him for my meal. He replies X dollars including tip and $3 for the piece of birthday cake I had. Ummm wtf?? He then proceeds to explain the birthday cake he purchased was expensive as if that justifies charging us for it. | AITA for not wanting to pay for a piece of birthday cake at a house party? | NTA |
110turf | Little bit of a vent first but it gives you some idea of what’s going on Ok full context I love my mother as far as parents go she’s a great mum, however my mother is not the greatest example of “being an adult”.My dad her husband has been incredibly sick for the last 2 to3 years to the point where after multiple surgeries and doctor visits he will never be able to work again. Throughout this period of time I’ve been the only person who’s been working ( i work 40 hours a week and have a side hustle that I do for 6 )and have taken the spot of provider of the family(my family consists of myself (m24) two younger siblings 9 and 13 and both parents being 46 ) I pay for all the bills, food, school fees and mortgage and when I get home I take over looking after the children because she’s tired On top of all this because I. Only make around 2 grand a fortnight I’ve had to take a personal loan out Anyways money is and always has been really tight and recently I’ve been struggling both mentally and physically and have recently been diagnosed with my own medical problems. Now this is where it gets interesting I’ve talked about it with my mother and how it’s not viable to keep going the way we are and some things need to change to make it easier on all of us such as her getting a casual job to help out a little at this point she snapped at me and states that I am incredibly selfish and need to think about the needs of the family first and how she didn’t raise me to be like this and to get rid of my problems that I just need to 1work harder or2 get another job on top of what I’m doing among other things. At this point I turned around and told her straight that as far as adults go she is a terrible example of what an adult and overall person should be. We haven’t talked since and she still hold her hand out for money so she can go to bingo 4 times a week as being at home all day is bad for her it’s been two months since we had this argument and nothing has changed dad knows about all this and I sorry about what’s happed but there’s not much he can do… I feel like shit by body hurts my heart hurts and my mental health is in shambles I see every one I’ve known succeeding and I’m going know where . All in all AITA? | AITA for telling my mother that she is a poor excuse for an adult? | NTA |
110krgm | Long story short- I had to move back in with my parents because the house I was living in was infested and the landlord was awful. When I left home I got a lot more comfortable with my sexuality, so going back felt like going back in the closet. Thankfully I just signed a lease to move in on the 19th and was on the phone with my friend about it. I thought I was home alone so I said “And I can finally have girls over again.” My dad cornered me later on and I realized what had happened. They went ballistic and yelled at me about sinning, being disappointed, etc. and my dad told me to get out his house. I’ve always been respectful of my parents but I went off and said they clearly don’t love me if this is all it takes to get kicked out. That made him even angrier and my mom completely broke down. He yelled at me more for upsetting my mom and it was a whole crap show. He tried to say it has nothing to do with their love for me, whatever. But seeing my mom cry hurt me, can’t lie.I packed what I could and left. My dog and I have been chilling at the dog park while I try to figure out where to go. I just put a deposit/first months rent down so I can’t afford a hotel for a whole week. My friends are back on the other side of the country. Stuff hit the fan so fast and I’m stressed about where to sleep/keep my dog while I’m at work, ontop of knowing I made my mom cry. I can’t get the image out of my head. Did I take it too far? | AITA for telling my parents they don’t really love me (bc I’m gay) | NTA |
110rwld | Hi everyone,Here is the context : I have been working for 6 months in a biology laboratory, and until recently everything was going very well. This is my first job since I finished my studies, I have the chance to work in my field etc.I started working there at the same time as my former roommate "Mary". We were friends a few years ago, and then for various reasons the relationship deteriorated last year. So I decided to start talking to her again so that we could start working on a healthy basis, and she told me "no problem, we will never be best friends but the relationship will remain professional".Another thing is that I have a neurological disease that affects my bladder (in fact, from the moment I have an "urge" I only have 30 seconds to find a toilet). Mary is one of the few people who know because when I was her roommate I fell down the stairs and she noticed I was wearing a "protection" (diaper basically)...I was ashamed but she was really supportive at the time. But it didn't last.This is the problem. Since 1 month, we have to work closely. On my side I was really friendly, but immediately she started to make little reflections to make me feel uncomfortable about this secret she knows. 2 examples :\- During a fairly long team meeting, our manager announces a break. Mary says out loud (in front of other colleagues), "it's about time, I really need to go to the bathroom...I don't have the same solutions as you!"No one reacted, but it made me uncomfortable that she mentioned the fact that I wear diapers out loud, even without naming it. I told her about it and she said, "It's okay, it was just a joke".\- A few days ago we are in the bus, and I have an "emergency". I usually manage to be very discreet about it, but here she saw me get up, find that the bathroom was inaccessible and probably blush a little...sorry for the details, but my bladder gave out and everytime it happens even if I know that I'm protected it shows on my face that I'm in pain. She looked at me hard and had a little laugh, before saying to herself but loud enough for me to hear "seriously, that's just pathetic".I now wake up every morning terrified that she will expose my problem in public, so much so that I am considering speaking out against her. She continues to pretend to be friendly, but it's always little comments like "you're really brave, I imagine that in your situation you won't be able to date anyone until your problem is solved". In short, false compassion to put pressure where it hurts.Every time I talk to her about it she tells me I'm paranoid. I can't take it anymore and I hesitate to talk about it to the hierarchy, even if it would mean revealing my disabilty to them. Would that be wrong/meanof me to do it?TL;DR : I have a disability and my colleague keeps embarrassing me about it. WIBTA for denouncing her attitude? | WIBTA for reporting my (23F) colleague/ex-roommate (24F) for harassment to my manager? | NTA |
110yt0f | So about 5 years ago my S-I-L was out visiting when her 4 y/o son did some inappropriate things. After these things happened I called her out on it. She then proceeded to trash me on social media then block me. It has been a bone of contention for me ever since. My family has since moved on but now it’s an issue because my mother in law wants to move in with us(my family) but only if I will allow my S-I-L to visit once in a while. So am I the asshole for saying no I don’t want her around? | AITA for not wanting my S-I-L to visit? | NTA |
110lx0u | My husband told me last night that him and his friend planned a trip to go to Arizona (a few hours drive from us) for a sports game and that if they don’t come back the same day they will come back the next day. We have a 9 month old and my husband and I have done almost nothing “fun” together since having our baby. But here he is planning a trip with his friend in a week. I know for a fact he wouldn’t be ok if I told him I was going on an overnight girls trip super last minute. I was annoyed with my husband because he asked me in front of his friend while I was occupied with our crying baby because he figured I’d say yes. When his friend left I asked him if he was being serious and he said he was and that he should be able to do things like this without my permission.AITA? | AITA for telling my husband I don’t want him taking an overnight trip with friend? | NTA |
110wudb | Me and my cousin have had a rocky past because she used to be a dick to me for essentially no reason. At most family gatherings she would try her hardest to make sure that I didn’t have a good time. Whether that was turning people against me over some stupid argument, or bringing up something from months/years back even though I’ve already apologized for them. A lot of times my other cousins would take her side rather than mine because of the bias that they had towards her simply because they talked to her more. Often in texts she’ll try to talk to me and when I deny her she’ll bring up dumb shit that happened. Ex. I left her on read one time and she brought up one time like 3 years ago that I had said. “Your boyfriend is a man whore and idk why you insist on staying with him even though he’s fucked 3 of your friends”. This isn’t the only example but if I said half of them my thumbs would be sore. So one day she messaged me and I decided to go off when she started complaining after I left her on read. A few hours later I get text messages from 4 of my cousins cursing at me because I called her out on being the bitch that she is. We have a big family and no one really tries to keep a secret so when word got to my parents, aunts, and uncles I wasn’t surprised. Seems like the only people who were backing me was my uncle and one of my cousins who had been my best friend for basically my whole life (no he didn’t message me cursing me out). I was basically public enemy number one for mostly everyone in that family. The only place I felt safe was at my grandma’s house on my mother’s side. I hadn’t talked much to the other members of my family outside of My best friend cousin, uncle, and siblings and parents until about a month ago. They had seemingly forgave me even though I never apologized for anything. Today that asshole cousin texted me saying that she apologized for everything. Saying that she didn’t mean for you to essentially be removed from the family for a whole year. I refuse to believe she was actually sorry. I simply told her “I wasn’t wanted in my own family for a whole year because of you. If you actually are sorry then that’s cool and all but it doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you. Which I don’t because I will never like you and you will never redeem yourself to me. Have a good rest of your life I hope to never have to speak to you again.” I blocked her after that and I’ve thought over this whole situation thinking that I was the victim but I don’t really know now. So AITA? | AITA for Refusing to Talk to my. Cousin After She Apologized? | NTA |
1112hj1 | About two years ago me (45) and my BF(56) received a call while we were driving. He answered it on a car speaker phone. It was a lady whom I didn't know who immediately started talking about some personal issue she was going through and she was confiding in my bf. I asked him who she was and he explained it was his maid name Hannah (late 20) who was also a friend. I told him that I was not comfortable with his maid being that friendly and calling him like this. I told him I didn't want him to provide any emotional support to any women and I asked him not to use her maid services any longer and find someone else instead. He agreed. About five months ago my bf rented his house since he was living in my house for more than a year. While searching for a property manager, he told me that he found a good property manager and didn't need any of my contacts. Last night we attended a party at a restaurant and among people introduced to me was Hannah the property manager of my bf house. It took me few hours to sink in the information that this was the same exact person who called him two years ago. Only now she is a property manager of his house. I asked her how much experience she had, and was told that my BF was her second client. I was very upset and left the party. Felt so betrayed and blindsided. My BF didn't think he was wrong because he stopped using her as a maid as I requested. When I asked him why he hired her knowing I was not comfortable with her, his response was "she does a good job". I am still in shock. I don't think he is cheating. He is really lazy when it comes to search for services and goes with people he knows. However, I feel that I can't continue this relationship if he continues business with this person, because it became the matter of principle. I am aware that there is nothing going on between them, but the fact that my feelings were not important makes me believe that there is no way to fix it. I told my BF that he needs to choose me or his property manager, but he could not chose and told me he was annoyed by the situation and went to sleep. Aita for overreacting? | AITA for the reaction to BF choice of the property manager | YTA |
110yje9 | Over the last 4 weeks my grandpa has been slowly deteriorating and as someone in the healthcare system my family has been relying on me to navigate the next steps. It’s been exceptionally difficult trying to play both the role of a granddaughter and someone in the healthcare field for my family. Naturally I have been relying on my bf for support. He usually isn’t one to pick up on cues on actively ask if I’m ok and what I need so over the last two years I’ve just learned to tell him what I need in those moments. Today I came home for some support and asked him for some hugs,kisses, and just to be asked how I’m doing. He immediately became upset and told me I hijacked his emotions and that he’d asked me earlier in the week how I was doing. I told him today was different since we decided to move my grandpa to palliative care to which he responded with “he’s been dying for the last four weeks and you’ve been needy for a month” He apologized after I asked him if his response about my grandfathers state this month was appellate. I was clearly upset and left and feel there’s a switch that’s been flipped about how I feel about him which he’s now well aware of and is blaming me for over reacting. Am I the asshole for leaving this behind due to his complete lack of empathy and response to the situation? | AITA (32f) for walking away after a comment was made about my grandfather who is passing away? | NTA |
110rd0g | I love my fiancé. She is a great woman. And I want to do whatever I can to make it work. But I go to bed early because I wake up everyday at 5am to work. I try to lay down by 9pm and fall asleep by 10pm. Otherwise, teaching all day is hell for me. My fiancé works from home. So she gets to sleep in until 10am or 11am everyday. She makes her own schedule. So she also goes out often in the middle of the school week. And comes back late with her friends. (No. I don’t think she is cheating). This doesn’t happen too often, but it happens enough that I’ve grown frustrated. I’ve communicated to her that even when she is quiet, I still wake up. Or can’t fall asleep cause she is out and I’m worried. Some nights she comes into bed wanting to cuddle, touch, etc. but I’m already asleep. She takes offense to me not wanting to talk about her day at midnight. Or when I nod off and start snoring again. We’re in our 30s and I just thought this would be something she would get tired of. My best friend says I’m being too harsh. That I need to get let it go and adapt to her sleep schedule. So finally I said that maybe when she goes out late she should sleep in the guest bedroom. She got upset. Said she wants to be able to cuddle me at night and it helps her sleep. But I’m growing resentful. Cranky. Part of me wants to childishly wake her up at 5am and keep calling her so she stays up so she knows what it feels like. I hate that I got to that point. I’m jealous of the sleep she gets. AITA? | AITA for asking my fiancé to sleep in the guest bed if she is going to be out late? | NTA |
11127r2 | I (17F) am transgender and came out to my family in December of last year. They haven't used the correct pronouns for me a single time, claiming that "they need time to adjust". My mum put up some old pictures on the wall of the living room. One of them is an old photo of me. I hate looking at it because it reminds me of what people used to see me as and I get the feeling that my mum is still clinging on to the idea that I'm her son, not her daughter.She mentioned to me that she's grieving because she felt like she, quote, "lost one of her sons". I don't know if I could ask her to take that photo off the wall. WIBTA if I did? | WIBTA if I asked my mother to take down an old picture of me? | NTA |
110uz9r | For context, I drive a full size WHITE pick up truck.It's night time, it's dark but the street lamps give off that amber glow. I'm by the college and I'm at the gas station filling up. Once I finish, I'm pulling up to street to await for traffic to merge. There's a bicycle lane on the street and I'm not impeding it's flow at all, I'm still in the wide... Gas station lot? You know what I mean.Traffic is too thick and I'm there for a bit, so I'm constantly looking left and right for a break to make my merge. While I'm swiveling my head, I see a college kid riding his bicycle, heading against the flow of traffic, in the bicycle lane, with his face lit up bright white/blue from his cellphone he's staring down directly into.No biggie, not my business. My focus is now on him more than traffic because I ain't merging with a dumbass in proximity. I watch as he nearly misses a parked car on his left and corrects and starts to head up on what I can only assume, what he thought was "sidewalk." Except there is no sidewalk cuz it's a big gas station lot and there's a bike lane for him. I noticed his trajectory and calculated his fuck up and honestly just stayed put.I could argue that I did see it coming and could have gotten out of the way but chose to wait it out. I could also argue that I didn't know WTF this kid was doing and didn't know which way to go. Either way, I stayed put... And watched him bicycle himself directly into my right front tire and catapult himself off it.He bounced pretty well off my tire and got some air. I expected him to hit my hood but surprisingly, the rubber on rubber shot him backwards. He wasn't going very fast but enough for him to have built up enough inertia to break his phone. Before I could get my window down all the way, he'd gotten back up, picked up his phone and said, "AGAIN?!" and then went around me.I don't honestly feel bad about it but it does feel like a dick move on my part.AITA for not getting out of his way?TLDR: bicyclist swerved into my path, looking at his cellphone and launched himself off my tire | AITA for not getting out of the way for a bicyclist? | NTA |
1110kl3 | Aita? Throwaway because this story is kinda specific. So I (m39) and my girl (f39) have been on and off for years. We finally came together for good in 2019. In the years we had apart she has taken on more animals than I would have liked her to. She’s got the biggest heart in the world but I was hesitant in reaching back out because of this. She has 2 dogs and 3 cats. Anyway, we worked it all out and decided to buy a house. I hate the apartment she’s living in and moving in together would give her some financial relief and a yard for the dogs, etc. Well, last summer her RA started flaring really bad and she had to have multiple surgeries. I found a house to buy for us to while this was all going on and she came on her crutches and fell in love with the place. We decided this was the one and I put in an offer. We had a place for the cats and their litter boxes and all. I had conditions for her to move in tho. 1. She had to pay $1200 to me for mortgage and expenses.(way cheaper than her current rent) 2. She had to put at least $100/month into E*Trade, 3. She had to take out $10k of her 401k to help pay for stuff around the house. 4. She had to promise that her “disorder” wouldn’t affect our home life. She has severe ADHD and AUD so she has what she calls “executive dysfunction”. Meaning she can’t get up and clean unless she has motivation to do so. She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”. Anyway, she agreed to all of this. Her foot surgery had complications and she was left in her apartment barely able to do anything for herself. I went over one night and her apartment was a complete mess. Cat litter everywhere and trash in the sink. She was still in a cast and couldn’t afford house cleaners. I’m a total neat freak and couldn’t deal with the mess. I left super frustrated and ended up texting her the next day saying basically “either the cats or me”. Obviously she didn’t chose me. She said as soon as I signed the papers on the house that her “body doubling” has kicked in and her apartment would have been clean and packed if she hadn’t ended up in a cast. We haven’t talked in months and I know she’s saying iata because I was being “controlling and not empathetic towards her disorder” but I like things the way I like thinks and she knows this. So Reddit, aita? | AITA for making my girl choose me or her cats? | YTA |
110gzlq | So my brothers girlfriend has her own car I have my car and my brother has a van, for context I live in there home after moving to their country i moved in with them for the last 4 months, so I remote work from home, pay rent get my own groceries, split bills etc. But I have noticed over the last few months that whenever my brothers girlfriends car is blocked in she just takes my car without asking to go get coffee, go to her friends for lunch with out asking because she can’t drive a manual car, my car and hers is automatic, so she just takes my keys and gets in it and goes without asking me or coming in and saying can I barrow your car nothing, she just takes it, and just recently we were over at their friends house for a gathering and a topic came up and needing a car between two people and she just insisted that they take her car and she can use mine without even consulting or asking me….,When I got home I said that annoyed me you should have asked before doing something like that and she says “well the car doesn’t go anywhere anyway and would you not help a friend out I asked you a few weeks back that if they might need my car could I use yours(she never asked me don’t where she made this up) but no blamed me for making a stupid argument up and if I was annoyed I should have brought it up at the time, I said I didn’t want to bring the mood of the gathering down by starting something that could be talked about after it doesn’t make sense embarrassing and making awkwardness and she says oh yeah so you bring it up here. I have been trying to move out and get my own place but it’s very hard to try and get a place as they are all took and gone every time I go to look at a place it’s taken.So am I in the wrong should I let them just do whatever they want when they don’t pay gas, insurance, or anything to my car?EDIT:I don’t block her in ever I park on the side walk or they block me in or my brother blocks her or me in depending on who’s car he parks behind if it’s hers she takes my car unless it’s for work she takes her own, I am not so much annoyed with the fact that they take my car it’s was the assumption that they didn’t even consult me before they said it, they just said take my car and we can use his… no question asked to me just assumed! | AITA for questioning why they can use my car without asking | NTA |
110shx5 | My (35f) husband (42M) and I moved to his country after meeting and getting married in my country. I have a daughter from my previous marriage.We moved to his country for his job. I left my career, family and friends to move in the middle of the pandemic. We were renting a house and found a house we both liked and he bought it. I solely own an apartment in my country and he owns 2 other houses where we are now. These properties are in our own names are rented out and the proceed goes back into paying the mortgage. He keeps the proceeds from his properties and I keep mine. This house we're living in is his third property. I am working but financially dependent on my husband. My current salary 15 times lower than his and I cannot contribute to the mortgage. I would love to if my salary allows it. All my salary goes towards groceries etc and he pays the bills and mortgage. He is a generous man and we are never calculative on who pays for what. When he bought this house we're living in, he asked if we should put my name as a co-owner and I said that I can't. My country has very strict rules on owning overseas properties. I cannot own another property if I just bought a house for less than 5 years. At that time, I bought my house 2.5 years prior. If we were to put me as a co-owner in this house then, I'd have to give up my property in my country.Now, 2.5 years on, after 5 years of buying my house, I can be a co-owner of another property. So I told my husband that I'd like to have be listed as a co-owner to this house we're living in. He said that it's not fair as I didn't not contribute financially to the mortgage and down payment. He said if we were to separate, I'd get 50% of a property I never paid for. I said that I'd pay towards the mortgage if I can but it won't make a difference financially as our household expenses are pooled together. I also explained that I contributed towards the house. I clean, cook etc. I maintained the house. I was very disappointed in his reaction but I also understand his POV. I feel that my non-financial contribution to our house is not valued.AITA for asking to be a co-owner? | AITA for asking to be a co-owner of our house | NTA |
1111zjk | Before I start this story please don't use it in any tiktoks or YT VideosOkay so I (22m) have a friend (20f) who broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago. They broke up after he made her choose between her friend or him. She was depressed to say the least especially because Valentine's Day was coming up and she didn't have anyone to spend it with. She lives with her best friends who are engaged. I felt bad that she had to spend it alone, I've never dated so I can honestly say that I sympathized.That's when I came up with a plan. I would spend Valentine's Day with her, not as a date, but just to get her out of the house so she wouldn't have to deal with that lovey dovey crap. I asked her to be my valentine and if she wanted to hang out that day and she said yes. I then made a plan with everyone in our friend group to show up at her house with flowers and candy. I truly wanted to make this day better for her. I even went out and bought those things ahead of time.Well time passes by and the other day she tells me she's back together with her boyfriend. Even though everyone was against it because he was controlling her social life, she claimed that we made them break up. I asked her if we could still hang out that day which she said "um it's Valentine's Day soooo no" I felt horrible because for the first time, even if it wasn't a date, at least I was gonna spend Valentine's Day with someone. She already agreed and I spent money on these things and now she just bailed on me. I even explained the plan to her and what I was gonna do and she said "well that's not my fault"Well needless to say I was extremely depressed so I ran to my group chat and told them everything. They were all pissed off and had nothing but sympathy for me. We all unanimously agreed she was a shitty person for what she did. I understand her feelings but making plans with someone all to bail on them later is something I've experienced way too much and it's not a good feeling. She would later put on her Instagram notes "Fuck everyone imma do me and him" I still haven't told her how I truly feel and I'm still extremely pissed off. One of my other best friends is coming to see me on that day for a few minutes, but she's bringing her with them. I'm thinking about giving the stuff I bought her to them. | AITA for badmouthing my best friend after she bailed on me before Valentine's Day | ESH |
110w2ns | So a girl from our home town used our pictures to catfish people and scam them out of money, well started posting screenshots and make a group on Facebook to get everyone she’s done this to, and all her victims together so we could go to the police. She “doesn’t feel safe.” Her family doesn’t care, and thinks what she is doing is okay. We have had random people message us, one girl had an aggressive man show up at her job, and another had a random car pull up to her house. Yes we are going to the police. Yes we tried to get her to stop. Yes she admitted to doing it. She says she did it because she was “lonely” and “not pretty like us.” So Are WTAH? | AITA for putting a girl on blast for using me and my friends to catfish people?? | NTA |
1110bb3 | All the names in this will be fake Two days ago i saw my cousins Tyler and Carter in the shops and I decided I would buy them some Candy since they are my favourite cousins, I grabbed a bag of skittles and a candy bar each and the things I needed and took them to the register that my cousins were next to on the floor counting their money Carter is 8 and Tyler recently turned 10 so I guess they were probably using Tylers birthday money or what was left of it. I stepped in the line to the register and paid for my items and got there attention by putting the candy on their heads, The women and her child behind me must of noticed I just bought two kids candy because her daughter started complaining that she never bought her daughter candy and the woman who I'm willingly going to call Karen looked at me and looked back at her daughter kinda telling me off with her eyes if that makes sense Carter and Tyler got up and hugged me after they picked up all their money and and thanked me for the Candy then left and I would of left to if I didn't forget to grab sugar so I went and grabbed sugar and another candy bar for the little girl. It's not because I didn't want to it's because the Karen was rude and I didn't want to do what the Karen said because she started a fight in a grocery shop over candy Karen walked over and grabbed my wrist so I'd noticed her it wasn't harmful in anyway and there was no violence involved Karen started demanding I buy her kid Candy because I bought some 'random homeless kids' candy which angered me I don't let Anyone talk badly about my family especially not the children in the family so I yelled at her that they were my cousin's and she went pale and got all offended, Karen's daughter who I'm going to call Amaya pulled on my shirt while the Karen was distracted and apologized for her mother Amaya looked around 8-9 and my heart kinda melted by her so I payed for the Candy and sugar and gave her the candy and told her not to tell her mother and I walked out Karen cussing at me and calling me names and all I did was put the finger up at her and leave I don't know what Karen was thinking and I don't know why she thought I had to buy her daughter a candy bar even though I didn't know them but she crossed the line calling my cousin's random Homeless kids but I could of handled it differently | AITA for refusing to buy a Karen's kid candy even though I had the money | NTA |
110yy9q | I’d like to preface this by saying that after hours upon hours of research and self reflection I’m *pretty sure* I’m on the spectrum and am looking for someone who will be able to diagnose me. I also deal with the low filter/not seeing how my bluntness can be perceived as rude and similar communication/social skills. I was scrolling through Twitter and looking at some autism hashtags because I’m interested in other people’s personal accounts on their diagnosis. I saw one guy being kind of aggressive and was intrigued by this (guy 1). After about 10 minutes of scrolling through his page I saw him insulting multiple different people for their experiences with autism (mostly openly autistic women). A lot of this aggression was unprovoked and blatantly rude. His cover photo literally preaches “be kind” so I pointed this out and politely suggested he handle his communication better as I’ve struggled a lot with it, and even suggested some ways I use that he could portray his thoughts more kindly.After this he sent a response along the line of “it’s not unprovoked you know nothing about me” then called me a stalker bc I mentioned scrolling though his page for a bit. Then one of his buddies (guy 2) started commenting things like “it’s not that easy otherwise we wouldn’t be autistic” and I pointed out, again, that his friend is insulting people and calling people names for almost no reason. I said that there’s a difference between accidentally being rude and calling people names because they have a different experience than you do. Guy 1 and 2 started saying that I was being judgemental of guy 1s “approach” followed by insults. In reply to one of guy 2’s comments that “autistic people don’t have the capacity for conversation” I said that “communication skills are something that we need to WORK ON as autistic people, not excuse because of our disabilities.” I will not be replying to the Twitter thread more because I feel it’s pointless to argue with someone who refuses to see any side but their own and just insults you, but now I’m silently obsessing over all of their mean comments and them saying they *are* working on it even if I don’t see and I’m questioning if I was in the wrong/ doing the same thing he was.So AITA for calling someone out for blaming autism on being rude for no reason. | AITA for telling someone that being autistic isn’t an excuse for attacking people on Twitter? | ESH |
110xr30 | I live in a neighborhood where each house has 1 acre lots. My next door neighbor converted his backyard into a dirtbike track for his son. All day everyday this kid is outside ripping around on his dirtbike. He just does laps all fucking day. I feel like I live in a logging camp. I know some people are going to call me a Karen but you don't have to live with this everyday. I just feel like it's wildly inconsiderate to the neighborhood. So WIBTA if I try to get the town involved to put a stop to this? | WIBTA if I call the town on my dirtbike riding neighbors? | INFO |
110v7yx | So here it goes I live with my partner and another couple in a two bedroom apartment. We have been friends for years and have had only minor issues up to this point. So about 2 months ago my partner and I decided to start testing the waters about how they would feel if we got a dog. We asked them for permission over 40 times and every single time they were like “yeah go for it”. So about 2 weeks ago we decided to reach out to a breeder family members have used before and fell in love with one of her 8 week old chow chow puppies (I am an experienced chow owner). We made sure to check with them multiple times before getting him and setting clear boundaries with all 4 of us. Well this weekend, while all of us were back in our hometown visiting family, the female of the couple decided to go to an adoption event at petco. She did not ask or even tell us that she got a dog (8 week female). I actually had to find out from her Snapchat story. This may sound hypocritical but neither I nor my partner were comfortable with this for multiple reasons. One reasons being my partner is allergic to dog hair (think like terrier), hence why we got a chow chow with fur and not hair, her dog has hair. My partners family members have been hospitalized for pet allergies before so it was a concern for us. Another reason being that our puppy is currently not up to date on shots and not eligible to be until late March. I am also severely concerned about littermate syndrome, while I know it is a slim chance, it is still something I do not feel comfortable risking. Our chow is an extremely dominant dog and he does not get along well with other dogs at this point in time. I brought up my concerns about all of this before she even arrived back from petco and was told to “deal with it”. The couple then showed up to my parents house unannounced as my partner and I were trying to leave to meet up with people for dinner reservations. I voiced my concerns once more, and the female just sat on my couch crying “I know I messed up but I won’t return her”. She also accused me of already giving her permission (something I would not have done). She had not once mentioned this thought to me or my partner, even though we made sure to ask them multiple times separately and together. Her boyfriend then mentioned that they had a 2/3 majority of the lease (we split four ways but only 3 of us could be on the lease) and that they could do whatever that want. And told us basically that it was tough luck and we did not have any say. I also want to add that she sat and sobbed on my couch for over an hour and the second she got in the car to leave she stopped crying. We all returned back to our apartment today and things are tense as I think we all hard or negative feelings about the whole situation. Am I wrong for being upset of the blatant lack of respect and care for my opinion? Am I wrong for being upset that they decided to put both my partner and my dog at risk for a selfish impulse buy? | AITA for being upset about my roommate getting a dog without permission? | NTA |
110yulo | When I was 11 years old (I think?), my stepfather's kind elderly mother made me a big, beautiful red velvet cake for my birthday. The cake was put in the fridge at my house, and me being the curious child that I am, I decided I wanted a little taste of it before the party. Unfortunately, the cake got ruined and spilled all over the floor before I could taste it like I wanted to, and the rest of my family bought me a new one.It was an accident, I assure you. But my family ordered me to keep me spilling it a complete secret from my grandmother, telling her that I had her cake at my party and that I loved it. I'm now 22, and she died of old age last year...and worst of all, she died without me ever telling her the truth because I was afraid it would make her sad. Due to this, I'm genuinely morally conflicted as to whether I'm an asshole for lying, or if I would've been an even *bigger* asshole by telling the truth. | AITA for lying to my grandmother? | NTA |
110t6au | Last month, I watched Dawn Of The Dead (the 2000s version) with my parents during the weekend (I am 16M so they thought I was old enough). We were nearly done the movie, when we noticed that my 6-year old sister, Catherine, was watching along with us, from the doorway. She was crying because of how scary the movie was. So my parents told me to comfort Cathy, and bring her back to her room to go to bed.On Monday morning, Cathy woke me up for school as usual (she always wakes me up in very cute ways). So just to play a joke on her, I told her "oh no, Cathy, get away! I'm going to EAT YOU!" Catherine started screaming and she ran out of my room, and I followed her, pretending to be a zombie. I cornered her with her back against the wall, and she was crying and scared to death. Then I revealed to her that it was all just a joke; I'm not a zombie and nobody's going to eat her! Anyway, she still has nightmares about the movie.AITA? | AITA for scaring my little sister right after she watched Dawn Of The Dead? | YTA |
11104lc | So basically I’ve been with my gf for about 4 years and she suggested why don’t we move in together so I was pretty comfy at my spot so I moved her and her dog in. I’ve personally have never wanted pets I just don’t have time for them at all. I knew the dog would come with it but I wasn’t too worried about it because it’s her dog. Been dealing with this for about 2 months it’s been just shitting and pissing all over the floor. And she won’t do anything about it? There’s a back yard where the dog can go. I bought a lil dog door thing where you put it inbetween the glass sliding door. I told her basically everyday from the start dude you need to do something about your dog this is fucking gross she just lets it sit there on the ground and cleans it up at the end of the night. I suggested the dog stay outside but she doesn’t believe that dogs should be outside and something about it’s a law? Idk I lived in California most of my life and it seemed fine there but maybe Washington state is different? Any ways it’s pretty fowl and it’s getting to the point where I just want it gone and she says I’m being unfair where I’ve been saying teach the dog or it has to go. I know I’m not being unreasonable! I just don’t understand how people think it’s ok to let any animal just do that. AITA? | AITA For telling my girl friend to get rid of her dog because she just lets it piss and shit all over the floor? | NTA |
110n91s | So I (25F) have a skin condition mainly effecting my hands, I had it bad when I was young and now my hands are smaller than average as a result… It’s nothing major dramatic, people often don’t notice but some do…Now one of my closest friends (26f), someone I have known for over ten years, is in a relationship with someone (30m) who keeps commenting on my hands. Firstly, he is Romanian so there may be some etiquette/cultural differences to factor in…The first instance was when we were discussing what jobs we wanted as kids... Mine was life guard so I said that and be immedietely said “Not with those hands!”. I was caught off guard so I kinda laughed and tbh I didn’t know if I had heard him correctly...Then it happened again. We were at a live experience / adventure thing for a birthday. One of the things there was a zip wire. I could hear him saying “She can’t do that she might not be able to grip it properly”…Then finally he bought it up once more and said “Your hands are too tiny for the zip wire let's do something else”. There was even an instant where he reached out and rubbed my wrist, claiming he thought I was his gf and it was an accident…I’m starting to feel awkward around him. WIBTA to ask her not to invite him out? | WIBTA for asking my friend not to invite her boyfriend out | NTA |
110r914 | I graduated from high school last year and was really proud of it, bc I was struggling for some years due to some personal problems and I never really thought that I would make it.I was so happy and even the presenter on the stage during graduation, but I have arrived at last minute bc my then-gf was taking too long to prepare herself. I was stressed but happy to share this day with her and my parents. She even has baked me a cake.After the formal graduation ceremony we had a small BBQ at school and afterwards we have spend some time driving around together in my aunts cabriolet. It was very nice.I dropped my gf off at home. I planned to spend the night with my friends downtown.She was not sure if she would join us, bc her friend from her hometown was visiting her over that weekend and she wanted to spend time with her. I was kinda annoyed that her friend had to visit her at that time but I tried to understand, bc she did not see her friend for a while and her friend just could visit her during that time.She then decided that she and her friend would join us and I would pick them up later.I had things to do and was stressed, then a phone call from my gf asking me if I could wear jeans instead of my current pants from my suit, bc she and her friend would not wear dresses (bc her friend had no dress with her). So it was more important for her that her friend feels comfortable instead of me). I slightly annoyed responded that I have no time to change my clothes bc I am currently stressed and that I don't want to wear jeans, bc I would like to wear my suit when going out.She got mad and when I was picking them up they took very long to be ready. When they arrived my gf was still mad, even when I picked up my other friends. We then arrived downtown and sat down at a restaurant. I was kinda insecure bc of the mood of my gf. She has depression and some other problems. I tried to lighten her mood, bc she was still kinda mad and ignoring me. I bought us all drinks and tried to start a conversation but it was kinda awkward bc my gf was constantly on her phone and in her own world.I then saw that she was chatting with some other guy from my class to join them.I got so emotional that I went to the bathroom to cry.They stayed with us the whole night and I even bought them something to eat but they ruined my special night, especially my gf.She never understood why this was bothering me that much. She would explain that they were not sure if they wanted to join us and that they could had other plans for this night. Her friend was visiting her during that time and she wanted to also do something with her.TL;DR;A friend of my then-gf was visiting her over the weekend while I had my graduation. After the ceremony we went downtown. My gf was not sure if she wanted to join me, but she did. She was mad at me and ruined this special night, bc I refused to change my outfit. | AITA for never forgiving my then-gf for ruining my graduation | NTA |
110sa17 | my sister (15) has a best friend named Ash (15F). Ash grew up in an abusive home, and was taken in by our grandma Pam (my stepdads mom) 4 years ago. Pam has done everything for Ash, put her back in school, put her in therapy, pays for her meds. she got new clothes, books, a laptop, a phone, pocket money, etcAsh was diagnosed with bpd about a year ago and Pam took it in stride, she's never failed to help Ash in whatever way she needed. Ash also has a problem with substance abuse, it started back before she lived with Pam. she used to steal her grandfathers pain meds, any alcohol in the house, and use whatever she could get from friends etc. Pam stopped keeping alcohol in the house and locked away all medication because of this. my parents would also limit the amount my sister visited Ash, and tried to keep it as monitored as possible when she did.Ash had started becoming abusive with Pam. i wont go into details but it got pretty bad. she's currently in a psyche ward, awaiting diagnosis before she'll be sent to a mental health facilitymy sister woke up on Friday to get ready for school looking completely fucked. she was pale, eyes red and dilated, she would pause between sentences not remembering what she was saying. we knew she took something, and that the symptoms werent weed. she's quite rebellious and has gotten high off weed and drunk at school with friends before, but nothing beyond that. she's been punished for it every time she's been caught. i'm no saint but im of legal age and i keep my usage to a safe and controlled environment, as well as very rare (months between usage) and never around my siblings.my mom and i completely tore apart her room looking for whatever she took. we found about half a dozen empty injections, and multiple different containers with sleeping pills/pain meds inside. we knew they were from Ash. my mom and i both went into shock, and had a very serious talk with my sister. theres a long history of drug abuse in my moms side of the family, most of which we've gone NC with. and my sister also shows characteristics of an addictive personalityi became extremely angry after the shock wore off, i sent Ash a message telling her to stay away from my sister, and that if my sister turns out to be a drug addict because of her that i would never be able to forgive her. she told my sister and my sister freaked out saying that Ash is too fragile right now and i shouldnt be so harsh. i believe it was completely within my right to say something as Ash has messed around with my family more than enough, even admitting that the reason she hated my grandma was because she was the only person she couldnt manipulateyes she's had a difficult life, and she's "fragile" right now, and i feel sorry for her. but her actions are her own, and i wont let my sister be dragged down with her | AITA for telling my sisters best friend to stay away from her | NTA |
110vkgx | To start off, my friend hates the military. She thinks it's a waste of money and that people who go in are only there because they have nowhere else to go. I told her I was going to do NROTC at my college and she had many mixed emotions about it. While she tried to be supportive, she kept reiterating the fact that she does not like the military. Fast forward a little bit and I find out that my NROTC scholarship does not get approved and I'm left with the Navy recruiter basically saying 'Sorry, LOL, that sucks.' I got pretty fed up and went over to the Marines where they roped me in quick. Since then, I applied to the Marines and swore in yesterday. I've held off telling my friend since I knew she wouldn't be supportive and the last thing I wanted was for her to make it all about her and to hear about how she hates it. I finally came clean and now she's super pissed at me. I tried explaining that I didn't tell her because I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with it and I didn't want to hurt her but she keeps telling me that I was wrong for not coming clean sooner. Am I the asshole for not telling her earlier? | AITA for lying to my friend about joining the military? | NTA |
110uo6f | So my parents told us we were going to our uncles in just 1 car and we left at 11am. It's currently 6ish at night the Super Bowl is maybe almost through the 1st quarter or smth, idk I'm not watching it. I don't want to be here at my uncle's anymore cuz as much as I had fun, my extrovert meter has run dry and we have a dog at home (who has been potty trained yes) but it's been a while since he last went outside to do his business.I don't want to ruin the fun for everyone and ask one of my parent's to drive me and possibly my brother home only to make them drive another 30-40 minutes back to my uncle's to continue the Super Bowl, especially since I don't know how to drive their truck (they won't let me learn how to drive it even if I have my own car but that's at home because they made us all go in 1 car).I would like to be home now with the dog and just try to decompress. But I don't want to ruin everyone's fun for asking to leave and sound like a whiny baby causing problems. Would I be the AH to ask one of my parent's to drive me home since they made the choice for everyone to just take 1 car when it would have been better if we took 2?Edit: I know it's a long time and we normally aren't out of the house that long away from the dog so please no hate on my parents/family for any of thatEdit 2: mother started having an allergic reaction to the cats at my uncle's so called it quits and now we're heading home | WIBTAH if I wanted to end Superbowl night short to go home and check on the dog because my family made us take just 1 car? | NTA |
110y8qh | I don’t think I’m in the wrong here and my friends don’t either but ever since this happened my mom has been very cold and distant so do I need to apologize because I’m the ah?I had a high school dance that I was going to with some friends. We were planning to meet up at one of their boyfriends house, but that was later so I had some downtime to get ready. My mom, Tish, had told me the day before out of the blue that she had booked a hair appointment to get my hair in an updo for the dance. I wasn’t aware of it and never asked her to do it but I thought it was nice. And we had also gone shopping the day before for a dress, we bought 2. One was $15 and the other was $10. I had told her I’d pay her back but she said I didn’t need to. Anyways I went to get my hair done and it looked beautiful, and when the cost came it was $90ish. I had gotten a gift card for $100 for Christmas so she just used that. So I technically paid for my hair. I had some downtime so I just put on some gel nails, that took around one hour. I put on my dress, did my makeup, put on some jewelry, and I was ready. My mom was yelling at me because we were gonna be late, that was my fault I thought I had more time and then my dress malfunctioned, so I put on my shoes and was about to walk out the door when she stopped me. She told me that she wanted to take pictures. I told her that we were literally leaving to go take pictures and we would be late. She just kept telling me that she wanted one picture. So I just said fine and went where she wanted. This is where the problem starts. First the lighting wasn’t right, then I wasn’t “smiling properly” (idk what she meant because that’s my normal smile so), then she didn’t like the background. I finally just said “can we please go we’re gonna be late?”. Tish was not happy about this. She started yelling, this is exactly what she said except I’m not going to put all the curse words. “Are you f-ing kidding me. I spend all day getting you your f-ing dresses and your f-ing hair and spending all this f-ing money and all I want is an f-ing picture and you can’t even f-ing do that for me”.That took me off guard and when she was yelling and storming away she was slamming all the doors in her path. She still hasn’t really talked to me, just at pictures because there were other people. I don’t feel like I need to apologize because I offered to pay for my dresses, I did pay for my hair and that’s something I didn’t want to pay for because I was saving up for dye but had to use my money on that. And I could’ve gotten a ride from my friend for the dresses and shopping. So AITA for this? | AITA for not letting/wanting my mom to take pictures of me? | NTA |
110zjfy | I (18NB) decided I would cook dinner tonight as a way to give back to my family since my mom had had a long week working on things for my school, my dad had just returned from Kentucky, and my sister had just had a series of interviews to potentially get a full ride for college the day before. I made a cherry pie from scratch, as well as making dinner for my family and setting the table. The only thing I asked any of my family to do was ask my sister to get drinks ready, including going out to our garage to get lemonades for her and myself. She got pissy at me for asking her to go outside to get them, saying I should do it myself. I told her that since I was asking her to do one thing, it shouldn’t be the end of the world for her. My dad made her get the drinks, but she only brought in one and gave it to me rather than putting it in a glass, as she’d done to get everyone else’s drinks. AITA for snapping at her for not doing the one thing I’d asked and then for doing it passive aggressively? | AITA for blowing up at my sister? | NTA |
110vt3n | So I me and my friends were all in a discord call one day and were watching the Super Bowl 57 playoffs and it was the Cowboys VS Tampa Bay Game and My friend who claims makes over 5K a week is a Tampa Bay fan and said he would bet $500 on the game for Tampa Bay to win, I said I would take that up and he said he'll do it for $100 instead, we agreed and watched the game together. As you might know, the cowboys won which means I won $100. I talked to him about it in DM's a day later and he said he "tried" to send the money via PayPal but I never received it, he then said that it still drained the money from his account and said he would call his bank about. about a week later I remind him about the situation and he says he called his bank and there's nothing he can do (He has shown no proof thus far while I have sent him multiple screenshots from PayPal) I then say "It's fine I don't need the money anyway." and proceed to move on with my life. Now fast forward weeks later where I'm hosting a $100 tournament on a game and that friend and many others are participating in. Here he makes claims that if he wins he'll "give back to the community" and split it evenly with everyone else, and we ask him why he doesn't host tournaments himself if he wants to give back and he replies "Because it's not my money I I'm using" I then jokingly say "We'll it should be cause you owe me" and he then it just ends up spiraling out into a huge argument and he claims that making around 250K a year is just OK and that 'm in the wrong for going back on my statement when I said that it is fine and don't need the money anyway. My argument here is that I'm still obviously gonna be mad I never received money that he owes me when I have shown proof and he has done nothing to back up his statements from early on and that I believe he is lying. Now I'm still arguing about it and holding grudges about a week later from the tournament and now I'm split weather I'm in the wrong or not. (Note: I am not the person in this story I am sending this on my friends behalf since he doesn't use reddit, yes I got his consent to submit it and he himself wrote this down.) | AITA For going back on a statement I made about a bet? | NTA |
1110wfv | Over the weekend, my boyfriend (19m) and I (16f), hung out and while on his phone he got a text from a girl. So being very immature, i clicked on it and read what they were texting about. I saw a lot of things that I didn't like (her sending hearts, him telling her he was going to call her after work, etc.). I thought this was weird but I didn't say anything because we were hanging out. Well this morning, i woke up and thats all I could think about so I asked him about why she was sending him hearts and why he was saying other things. He said that she was having a hard time and that she wanted to talk to him which i'm fine with but the mood in the text just felt weird. He got upset because I asked about this and then brought up me talking to a lot of guys (i talk to him and 1 other guy). So was I in the wrong for bringing this up? | AITA for asking about another girl? | NTA |
110xsl2 | Sorry for errors mobile and I am not a good writer. I am a 24F and I have a group of friends there are me and 10 others. For some context we are in America but I was not born here I was born in the UK and moved to the states at a young age and lived here most of my life but anyways we are all 24 to 26. Everyday we are hanging out at some point it gets to 3 people in particular making fun of me being British. Without fail it happens I laugh it off and don't take it to heart but it's been going on for 2 years at this point. I have this other friend her name is Geneva (I got permission to use her name) she is the soul reason I am staying in this group she has done everything in her power to protect me but today I don't know if I can keep going. We've had our issues in the group but these three boys have gone to far today. All my life I've been bullied for where I was born and I have gotten use to it but I thought I could trust this group of friends with where I am from but it seems I cannot. I said in our GC that I thought the whole super bowl thing was stupid. Now I don't mind sports I do like them just not football. Side note I do golf as a side hobby and I have won a lot of trophies but they do not see golf as a sport and make fun of me for it and call me an old man when I am the second youngest in the group. But anyways when I said this three of the group members started swearing screaming and making fun of me being British because I said that mentioning the Boston Tea Party. I started crying and when I said I was and that they make me feel shitty for being who I am they made more fun and started calling me wanting to hear it. For 2 hours they called and texted me making fun of me while I drove to my friend Genevas house and cried on her. I have never and I will never make fun of someone else for where they are from. After I calmed down I read the messages it was all about British people the Boston Tea party and other stuff shaming me. Geneva has tried her hardest to keep me protected but it has gone without fail that they will keep doing it no matter what. I don't think they care about my feelings. I do not know what to do anymore I want to leave the group but I also want to stay for Geneva so WIBTA for leaving the group? | WIBTA if I left my group of friend's because of the way they make fun of me | NTA |
110qck7 | 9 months ago we fled from my dad(60m) after years of abuse. I(20f) won’t get into details but we ended up in a shelter searching for jobs.Mom(55f) had no luck besides doing some odd jobs for friends that covered needs. I applied for a welders assistant job and ended up getting it with no experience. They got me an apprenticeship and bumped my pay up to 24$ after a month. I was thriving and got an apartment for us to live in.But near Christmas my brother(17m) and I got sick for 2 weeks. When I recovered my boss said he didn’t have enough work for me but was happy to lend me to a different company until they got work again.The day that I was starting I woke up with the same flu I had before. This caused me to panic because I was scared about being sick for another 2 weeks or being sent home. This along with thoughts about letting down my family and past trauma caused me to have a very bad panic attack. I woke up my mom and she tried praying the demons out of me. It caused the attack to be worse because Dad used to tell me that the end of the world was coming and the demons in me would drag me to hell.I managed to retreat to my brothers room and ended up crying to him. He’s amazing and always knows how to help. So he put on some memes to distract me as he calmed me down. After the attack I got sick for 2 weeks again. When I was healthy enough to go to work, I ended up having another attack that got me sick for another week. This happened again and again due to me afraid to my fear of failing and finding out dad got engaged to a 25 year old in the Philippines and has been harassing my mom along with other things.Recently I had a session with my therapist and was given antidepressants. She told me it’s not my fault and given me grounding techniques but I’ve been getting more attacks because my medication is in pill form and I have a fear of pills cause I have choking trauma. Every time I fail at taking a pill it keeps reminding me of how I can’t take care of my family and i’m weak cause I can’t do what normal people can do so easily. The one time I took it I ended up crushing which I’m not supposed to do, I had a bigger attack than the first time and almost blackmailed my father so he’d leave us alone and pay child support so I could feel useful again. Also Dad paid 2500$ for a plane ticket to get his “wife” here tomorrow. It hurts cause have a long distance relationship and I haven’t seen my boyfriend in 2 years while he’s only known her for 8 months.But because I haven’t been working we won’t be able to make march’s rent. Mom has still been trying to find a job but what really hurts is watching my little brother go out trying to sell his games and applying to KFC. Mom tells me how if I was working we’d have enough to get a car for us (ours broke down). Her friends are saying “give her a taste of the real world, you’re babying her too much” and i’m starting to think they’re right.So please tell me. Am I the asshole? | AITA For not working and causing my family to soon be homeless? | NTA |
110uuhe | Hey so I (F22) have a friend (F23) we have known each other ever since middle school. We are still pretty close. I have been by her side ever since middle school and she has been by my side also ever since we have known each other.However after high school we got different interests and different friend groups but we still texted daily. But I feel that I am her friend while she isn't my friend. Because I would always listen to her rants for hours and the same topic could be talked about for weeks and I would have to listen to it again and again. But I always loved to offer a listening ear and give insight when needed. However when I vent to her I feel like I don't get the same energy in return and she somehow makes it about herself and then the topic is back her.So I just stopped venting to her and I feel like our relationship is one sided now because I feel like she isn't my friend but I am hers. So lately it has been annoying how many voicenotes she has been sending. I go to bed around 11pm while she stays up to 5-6am and when I wake up I get greeted by almost an hour or two of voicenotes that I have to listen to and give my insight and reply to most. I feel like I don't have the luxury of time to do it daily and I would rather be spending my time on something else.So am I the asshole for telling her to stop sending me that many voicenotes daily? I told her I rather meet once or twice a week and we can talk about whatever she wants to say in the voicenotes.​PS English isn't my first language so my excuses for poor grammar | AITA for telling my friend to stop sending me tens of voicenotes | NTA |
1110uew | I(25m) got into a situation with my brother(25m) and his friend(25m) two days over their streaming. For context, the two are hugely into streaming and have amassed a small following on their twitch/youtube account. When it comes to my issues with them it all started with my home server and their desire to use it. ​More specifically, the two of them wanted to use it to host some game servers for their streams. When it came to the specifics, they wanted to host Minecraft, rust, and GTAV servers. This was a hard no for two reasons; the first was that I have no intention of granting access to the server. The second is that I deal with enough servers at work and don't want to deal with them at home as well. ​When I explained this to them I was expecting them to understand and respect this. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case and the two of them got very upset/pushy. They tried everything from trying to guilt trip me to bringing others into this. Since then I have had to not only deal with them in person but angry messages as well from other people.​Am I the asshole here? | AITA for wanting work and home life to be separate? | NTA |
110oeit | **Here's some context:** I live with 2 of my friends, and we've recently had an issue with our PG&E bill tripling from the previous bill. We all talked about it, and one of the things we were going to be on top of was turning off lights and unplugging things that aren't in use (we're doing things outside of this too like sharing wash loads, etc.).**Here's what happened:** One of my roommates was getting ready to go out to the club. She was rushing a bit toward the end of her needing to head out and forgot to turn off her light when she left. When I noticed, I turned it off. Didn't think much of it, but the next day (she came back at 6pm) she saw that her mini fridge had leaked from things melting inside. She asked, very annoyed, who turned off her light, and I said I did. Apparently, her light and fridge are on the same outlet extender box thing, which I didn't know, but me turning off her light turned off her fridge. I apologized and offered to clean up the mess but she denied, so I brought her stuff to help clean it up. She's been passive-aggressive about it but hasn't said anything directly.AITA for turning off her light? Could I be the asshole because the outlet box thing is something I should've thought of/considered a possibility and asked before turning it off?Edit: I appreciate everyone explaining to me how leaving lights on for extended periods of time doesn't affect the bills. I also wanted to mention, for the people wondering: I didn't go inside her room to turn off the light, the door was already open, and the switch is right off the door | AITA for causing a leak in my roommate's bedroom from her mini fridge? | NTA |
1110rk0 | I (16F) have this one friend (16F) who we will call Claire. Me and Claire were friends when we were younger, but admittedly I caused our friendship to fall apart. When we weren’t friends, I met my friend Luna (15F). Last year, Luna and Claire became friends, and from there me and Claire attempted another friendship.Last year our friendship wasn’t bad, other than the fact that Claire would get jealous everytime I talked to Luna. Claire and Luna were close, and I don’t really care who my friends hangout with so it wasn’t a problem.It started to be an issue this year though however, when Claire constantly was getting upset at me for talking to Luna. It didn’t help that I made varsity soccer and she didn’t, and it put a huge rift in our friendship. Claire is also so much smarter than me, and she gets angry everytime I scored higher than her on something. It feels like everything I do really pisses off Claire which makes me upset. I’m ND, and so sometimes I ramble a lot and when I do she gets upset, but when I quiet down so she can say something she doesn’t. She gets mad at me for hanging out with anybody other than her, and when Claire and Luna fight with each other, Claire comes and dumps it on me.Recently, I went to a dance for my school. I invited claire, but she hates dances and told me how stupid she thinks they are and so she didn’t go. I invited Luna, and together we went. I thought luna told claire she was going, but she didn’t, and claire got super mad and started to blame me and call me horrible things. She looked up my soccer schedule when I wasn’t responding to her to make sure I wasn’t busy and it freaked me out. I felt so emotional exhausted because it felt like I can’t do anything without her permission. Well, Luna and Claire aren’t speaking to each other, and since I spent lunch with Claire last time, I decided to spent it with Luna. I specifically told claire where I was because she was demanding me to know where I was, and then after lunch she yelled at me because it was my fault she ate alone. After than I was so tired, and told her I wanted a break. She started to freak out and texted me things saying I was selfish and a horrible person because I was her only friend and I’d be leaving her alone. She was threatening her own life and telling me how I’d ruin her life if I left her and if I took a break from our friendship. I started to cry as I was so scared for her life, and so I went to a councilor and showed her the texts. Claire hates me now because she doesn’t think she needs therapy but I was so scared.I told my parents and they said the right thing, as well as luna did, but I feel a puddle of guilt in my stomach and I wonder if I messed stuff up. I was just so tired of constantly walking on eggshells with her, but maybe I took it too far by asking for a break. AITA?This is also a new account, apologies if I don’t know how Reddit works | AITA for asking my friend for a break? | NTA |
1110orw | Hello all! I'm sorry for such a long post, but I feel like I need to be as clear as possible with this post and make sure I give as much detail as possible. For a bit of background, I (30 F) and my friend (29 F) have known each other since we were about 13. She's like a sister to me. Her mom got really sick a while ago and my family made sure she knew we were there for her. My friend, who I'll call A from now on, is a single mom with a deadbeat ex-husband. "A" has full custody and ends up having to cover the cost of EVERYTHING for their kid... On to the issue at handIn January "A" contacted me and told me that she needed money, but was too scared/embarrassed to ask. I told her not to be and that I would send her however much she needed. She asked for $70, which I sent her. She then mentioned that actually needed more, but didn't want to ask for that much. I asked her how much more and she told me. No biggie, I sent it. She's family and I grew up with the rule that family doesn't pay you back if they can't afford to, so I wasn't expecting her to pay me back AT ALL.A couple of days later "A" called to thank me and we did some catching up/general life venting. During our conversation she mentioned she was trying to put together a birthday party for their child. I ask "A" how much she would need to throw her kid a great party. She gave me a rough estimate and I sent her the money. She lives on the opposite side of the country, so it was the only way I knew we could be there for her and be part of her child's birthday.Couple more days go by and "A" asks for gas money and I send her $40. A week later she asked for more money, which I sent. Between then and now she's sent me messages and texts asking how I'm doing, telling me how much she appreciates the help, etc.A couple days ago she messaged me while I was sleeping and asked for $80-$100. That was at around noon. When I got up for work and opened up my notifications I saw "A" sent me messages. All I could see was her asking me to come visit her like we'd discussed in the past. I then notice that there's a Cash App notification with a request from her for money she asked for while I was asleep. Seemed odd to send that when I didn't respond, but I still sent it.Today she asked me for more money.I get that she needs help and I want to be there, especially with her having to deal with the loss of her mom, but I'm concerned about the amount of money she's asking for from me on a weekly basis. Would I be the asshole if I told her I can't send her anymore money, even though I told her I would help her out? | WIBTA if I stopped helping a close friend after I said I would | NTA |
110yxjt | have recently “par”-moved out of my parents house to live with my partner. My family is upset about this and will message me once in a while to tell me how much they miss me/how mad they are I don’t visit. To give some backstory, I (18 NB) can say confidently that I have never had a good or stable relationship with my parents. From a young age I was a bit of a hermit and clearly had mental health issues. This was never accounted for, possibly due to the fact that both of my parents have untreated/neglected mental health issues. Additionally, this forced me have to act as the “family therapist”. When my parents would get into an argument, they would resort to telling me and asking for my thoughts on the matter. Considering this started happening when I was 12, I feel like it was pretty messed up to involve your child in your relationship issues. At times I was practically forced to pick sides; where either my mother or father would be moving out. Fights like these occurred far too often to the point I became desensitized to any of it. It was just “oh moms threatening to move out for good again”, only for her to leave for upmost if a week and come back. On top of that, I was rarely ever offered support or even capable of expressing how I was feeling to either of my parents because it would go in one ear and right out the other. To add to the poor relationship, for whatever reason my parents decided at that age (12) I was capable of doing most things for myself; including my own laundry and such. By the time I had a steady(ish) job (when I was around 15) I was made to buy my own basic necessities (shampoo, deodorant, feminine hygiene products, etc.). Yet still to this day my brother (16M) gets everything bought for him. As of September of last year I’ve been seeing my partner, whom provides emotional stability and support- things I haven’t gotten at home. At the beginning of this year I’ve been staying with him for 5/7 days per week. As mentioned previously, my parents will occasionally text me claiming they miss me/ to to vent about how they’re upset I do not visit on the days I’m not there. However, when I am at my parents house, no one seems to care that I’m there. They do not try to converse, when I do they only half pay attention or walk away. In my mind, I feel that I shouldn’t be stressing myself out going there for a few nights when I can just go home to my boyfriend, someone who actually respects and appreciates me.I’m still trying to fully move out but am overwhelmed with guilt over the situation. My parents house is a toxic environment, always was, and I don’t feel “at home” there. I don’t want to cut off my family, I just want to be less involved with them for the sake of my mental health. TL;DR: My family is acting toxically, but I still feel like I’m possibly TA for moving out. | AITA for not frequently communicating/visiting my family? | NTA |
1112ogy | Me F 18 and my ex M 18 witch i will call F in this story. We were together for 2 years. We did everything together and I even ended up pregnant. I had to move away from him and thats where me and his issues started he’s gotten me many gift’s through time such as a pc when I was still living closer to him and a switch lite dude to me not being able to game siting in my gaming chair that often . And fast forward to the baby being born I had him and F wasn’t there saying it would be too hard for him. And when the baby was about 3 months and he told me this ON MY BIRTHDAY. he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby and he will never be his father and i am at horrible mother and always will be these are just some of the things he has told me and some things I won’t get into I’m already crying so much just writing this. And now he is saying he wants all the gifts he wants back because “they are his “ as he says big I disagree they are my gifts yes expensive but still my gifts I have no issue giving him the things he lent me to use but Just not my gifts. I use the pc for my school 99% of the time and the other 1 % for gaming. He is saying that the pc is his and i am not allowed on it and he will come the 16th to get the pc and everything he gave me. So AITA for not wanting to give my ex back my gifts Sorry this story is everywhere I do apologize Im just crying my eyes out idk what I’m saposed to do | AITA for not wanting to give back the gifts my ex gave me when we were together | NTA |
110nmwq | For context, my(F) biological father and mother divorced when I was very young. My mother got custody because that’s how they wanted it(I’m assuming. They don’t like to talk about it much.) My father met another woman w a child(who he later ended up divorcing and finding yet another woman), and my mother met another man w children(whom she had a child with later on). My biological father rarely came to see me but maybe once a year(he is military). My step father raised me with my mother(although not in very ethical ways if you know what I mean. Aka physically and mentally abusive)(my mother wasn’t necessarily the best either but I was an asshole of a child so it’s understandable). Anyways, I am to be married very soon. My biological father and step mother have always been kind and supportive of me and my fiancé. My mother and step father have always been very off and cold with him. I am not sure why, when questioned, they deny it. I originally wanted both my dads to walk me down, but then I realized that my biological father only has one chance, whereas my step father will have many. I love my biological father, and my step father (despite all he has done to me and my mother). I feel guilty about making this decision, but I also feel justified in it. So am I the Ahole? | AITA for not having my step father walk me down the isle? | NTA |
110w7dy | HiThrowaway account for obvious reasons. Little backgroundSo im a Male and im with my girlfriend for 4 years now. Im very happy in this relationship and so is she, but there is this thing and i don't know if im being an AH hereSo, she was ordering some things from SHEIN like always and i didn't think much about for most of the time, but today she asked me if i want something from the site so i told her calmly"Why do you think the prices are so low, because they obviously using children to make this things and thats fucked up" and so our conversation started about this.Now i never thought that i'm some social warrior or anything and do not press anybody to do anything if you eat meat and im vegan for example, i don't care But using children for work was big stuff and i started to buy less clothes simply because it was not ethical for meNow back to the topic we are talking about this whole thing and she just does not care and said "it's cheap so im gonna order" and tried to maybe even change her mind but knew it wouldnt bring anythingWhat really pissed me off was when she said "they have to make money somehow" when i heard that i was so angry that she would even say something like that and im like "so its okay that they use children" she starts to defend herself like thats not what she meant and that she meant that the kids have to make money somehow. I dont know why but i was so angry with this whole thing and even though we are not fighting anymore after a while, im still kinda salty about it.For the info we didn't have a fight before that conversation or anything, just watching some netflix.So am i the asshole? Maybe i should just stfu and leave it alone but idk i'm still pissed. | AITA for arguing with my gf about ordering clothes | NTA |
110ypq7 | My husband and I separated a little bit more than a month ago. When I left him I had no money, no car, and had just gotten a new job serving tables. I’m also almost 7 months pregnant. When I left, I left with nothing but what I brought into the relationship. I have a child from a previous relationship (8F) and we both moved back in with my parents until I’m able to get back on my feet again after I give birth to my son this spring. Since I’ve been back at the family home, my dad (59M) has allowed me to drive his Silverado to get to and from work and pick up my daughter from school and take her to practices and games. It’s expensive to put gas in the tank but I don’t complain because I’m happy that my parents are helping and my dad has been happy to help me with gas when I’ve truly needed the extra help and he’s paid for the maintenance on his truck while I’ve been driving it.One day my mom (56F) texted me excitedly while I was at work and told me to call her immediately. I called when I was in between tables and she excitedly revealed that she bought me a new car! To say I was over the moon was an understatement! But here’s the catch. The car was purchased from Pull-A-Part and it needs the transmission rebuilt and some other mechanical repairs before it’s even drivable. All in all it’s close to a $5k total price. I told my mom I simply couldn’t afford it and asked her if it would be possible for her to get her money back because there is no way that I could afford it at all right now and unlikely that I would be able to afford it anytime soon. She didn’t like this. She called me ungrateful and some other choice names and begrudgingly told me that she would pay for the repairs if I paid her back out of my tax return. Problem is, I’m not getting that much money back from my taxes and I had planned to buy some necessities for the baby with the money. Ultimately, my dad stepped in and offered to pay for it for me and I am extremely grateful for him but now my mom says I’m taking advantage of them. I feel terrible about the whole situation, even though I never asked my parents to buy me a vehicle. My plan was to finance one on my own after I had my baby and got back on my feet. So now I’m asking you, Reddit. AITA?Edit for clarity: The $5k price is for the repairs alone. | AITA for “being ungrateful” about the car my mom bought me? | NTA |
110ub37 | Today is my birthday celebration and I have autism. This makes a lot of things more difficult than to the average person. Especially social things.So my grandmother gifted me a ring she wanted to give me since I was 5. I never wear jewelry, and I thought I'd be a "decent human being thing to do" (as sometimes my brain will process things) to tell her I don't like jewelry.My aunt examined it and said it was probably worth about a thousand dollars, which made me smile and say it made sense and I could definitely sell it, but I'd feel bad if I did.My mother thought it was rude that I said that, which I don't really get because it sounds like a not-rude thing to say, and we did our usual back-and-forth until she started to cry.Everyone in my family was asking me questions and trying to get me to do things I don't like so I was understandably already upset and it was loud and bright and I didn't like it.But my mom has been telling me I need to appreciate all my presents even if I don't like them at all, which I guess is nice but it's lying, and I do not lie, because lying is bad.So am I in the wrong for not appreciating what my grandma gave me? This happens every year, but never as bad as this.Edit: Privacy concern, don't want my mom reading Bored Panda and finding this. | AITA: For not appreciating a birthday present? | YTA |
110speg | So, I have a friend that we are going to call A. A wanted to subscribe to the gym along with me so I told her that it was better if we could just pay the premium offer since it allow 2 person and it’s cheaper if we split the bill. Since A’s mother didn’t want to put her bank account I asked my mom if we could but I warned A since it last a year and we can’t unsubscribe, she said “yeah sure no problem”. I trusted her I thought that she wouldn’t betray me. But then, yesterday she texted me saying that we won’t be going anymore so she’ll stop paying, meaning that now my mom has to pay $30 every month because of her (I always felt bad using my mom’s money since we’re in a kind of difficult situation). So am I the asshole for feeling angry at my friend and thinking of ending our friendship because of that? ( I wrote this post mostly because idk what to do now and how to tell it to my mom) | AITA for being angry at my friend for not wanting to go to the gym | NTA |
110x6lf | *Its 2 hours before the party and my gf(28 old) picked me(30 old) from my apartment, so myself, gf,her mum and her dad can go to this engagement party for her cousin.**My gf and her mum share a car for daily use. We are all going to use that car to go to the party together later on. >her mum knows she has the car and where she was going at all times.* When we arrived at her parents house we have plenty of time to get ready about 1 hour and 45mins, the venue was only 15mins away.So her mum comes out of the door in an aggressive manner and start shouting at my girlfriend who was at the front door (I was still in the car at this point getting my things) She was shouting ***"where have you been? you were suppose to be here 30mins ago? that is my car! you didnt tell me you were going to the city!? (to pick me up).. I thought he was going to get the bus!?"*** thats all the key parts I remember from her shouting because those were the parts that really upset and angered me. I felt like she was directly saying it to me and hinting that she shouldnt have picked me up. I felt such an inconvenience.Where I'm from and how I was brought up you dont do that when theres a guest, especially when youre all going out that night to have a good time together. There shouldnt be any negativity to start the night with, we had plenty of time to get ready plus its not like my gf committed a crime, she came to pick me up. I told my gf that Im not going to the engagement party anymore after that. (which I regret now because I should have been there supporting her) Given how I felt, angered and upset I wasnt thinking clean, I just didnt think it was a good idea to share a table with her mum that night and everyone will probably be able to tell because I suck at hiding it. I decided not to go to the party.Her mum and dad called 20mins later, she was saying how it was just between her and her daughter and wasnt directly towards me, but to me whether or not it was directed to me she shouldnt have started the night like that by shouting at my gf for no good reason.Next day my gf told me that her mum was really upset that I didnt go, she said I disrespected her parents.that everyone was asking for me at the party(relatives I havent met yet) and they had to make up some excuse why I wasnt there. | AITA for not going to an engagement party with my gf and her parents. | ESH |
110o4bl | So context first. I’m a high school student young.. female.. petite.. I’m constantly reminded about safety and take it very seriously. Anyway I went to go take a practice test at this test prep place and to get into the building there is an intercom security you have to go through to get in. After the test I’m waiting inside by the door (for my ride to get there) and this big burly bald guy dressed in all black comes up to the door and starts keying in the intercom thingy to get in the building and fails and he looks at me and asks me if I can open the door for him. Of course I say no.. you know security is there for a reason and the guy is like really? And so I sit there fiddling my test booklet for a good five minutes before he gets in and when he does he stops and looks at me and tells me “ there’s a thing called test prep and there’s a thing called life prep, and you little miss, you’re failing at both” and so I told him F off you bald freak and he scoffed and started walking away and under his breath he said “ punk ass kids now a day “ like I’m some piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe. So AITA for not letting this guy in and calling him a bald freak? | AITA for not letting someone I don’t know into a building then calling him a bald freak? | NTA |
110x4qx | Update: My girlfriend has acknowledged she is obviously biased in this situation, but has asked me why I can’t give up being comfortable so that her brother has a safe place to be. When he did start paying rent, it would be cheaper than most places we’ve looked at for him briefly so that would contribute as to why our place is ideal. They grew up in poverty and that’s obviously hard to come out of, especially if it’s generational and I’ve acknowledged my own privilege regarding this. So I keep going back and forth on if I need to get over myself to help him out for longer. My girlfriend and I moved into a small, 1 level, 3 bedroom rental house a few months ago with our friend. The 1 unoccupied room is very small and barely a bedroom so we made it into a common room/small library where we could be away from people but not have to be stuck in our own rooms. My girlfriend’s 28 year old brother, who doesn’t drive or have a car, had a bad break-up with his girlfriend and essentially had to move in with their parents in their house in the middle of nowhere. He wants to go back to school but is unsure where and for what. His parents are unbearable and kind of toxic emotionally and mentally so it’s not an ideal space for him to try and figure out his life so he’s asked to stay with us since we have that third room.We’ve told him that the best we can offer is 3 months because that is what we’d be comfortable with. He wouldn’t have to pay rent until after 3 months, just contribute to utilities, internet and food since he has the savings to do so. We were hoping in those 3 months he’d be able to have the headspace and a safe environment to figure things out, like where he wants to live and what school / program he’d want to pursue, and find a more permanent solution. He’s told us that he was expecting to stay for 6 months to a year and that basically we’d be the permanent solution.Me and our roommate’s concerns are that even though we have the 3rd room, my girlfriend’s brother is basically a stranger for our friend. When we all agreed to move in together, she did not expect to have to live with a stranger especially within such short notice. We would have to give up a level of comfort to accommodate for a new roommate we were not expecting. And I’m aware that there is a level of privilege with having that space space but not wanting to give up being comfortable in my own home to help someone out for an extended period of time. My gf’s brother is saying we are his only option or he’d have to go to a shelter where I don’t see the difference in him finding a room in another house, out of our space, other than him getting 3 months of living rent free. He said he wouldn’t be able to find a job in 3 months, even just a regular part-time job in a restaurant or cafe. Even though, I was able to do in 2 weeks of moving here. I know all people are different and have varying abilities and may require certain accommodations but he’s worked in many similar jobs before and was even a supervisor at Starbucks. It just feels like he’s guilting us into saying yes even though we’ve stated what we’re comfortable with but he didn’t like our answer.I’m not sure if I’m being a privileged asshole or if I’m justified in my decision of setting a short-term limit. | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend’s brother to move in with us? | NTA |