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1112bce

I, (16f) and I've been wondering if my mom (48f) will be mad at me or not if I ask her to stop joking about me gaining kilos when eating certains foods, and stop talking about anything food related, because she appears to be deflecting her own personal, very hidden issues when doing so. My mom is at a normal healthy weight and she has started training seriously since 2020, to a extreme point IMO, she trains without taking rest days. She even trains after recovering from falling on her knee, even I tell her she should take a break. I think she loves exercizing too much, but perhaps does it for some insecurity she doesn't tell me about. She runs miles in the morning and exercize in the afternoon.The thing is, I think she has become kinda too fixated about everything concerning food and the health of it, but she is throwing it on my face too much.For examples, if I want to drink some soda she will tell me to not do it. Today she told me not to eat the cake my brother and I love to buy (its a very sweet flavored oreo) when I said i was going to grab a bite. I asked her if the cake (that costed 20€) was just for decoration then, and she told me in an angry tone that I should go eat it then. I do 1hr of exercize daily, 4 or 5 days a week. Also, I have chronic tendinitis and I take breaks when it arrives, and she guilts me for not working out instead my legs without using my injured wrist. It feels unfair, and its really the last straw when she has issues over me eating a damn cake.I am 1.74 and weight 69 kilos and my friends have told me before that I am really jacked up, but my mom is starting to make me feel like I weight so much more kg, which is why I'm planning to tell her that she is deflecting and should not ever talk to me anymore about all this stuff, that she is making me have issues only because she has them, without even telling me and having me second guess it. I don't want to offend her, but I feel done with this whole cycle.

WIBTA if I tell my mom she is deflecting her issues on me?

NTA

110t4f1

I have a job where I work with 2 women I supervise, Mimi and Candice. Once upon a time, Mimi needed a place to live and Candice let her to stay with her and her family as long as she wanted. Mimi lived with Candice 3 years but then found a new home after she experienced a bad breakup.Mimi confided in me about the whole ordeal and told me that in the last months of living with Candice, that Candice had been very abusive towards her. For instance, Mimi told me that Candice entered her room without permission and made snide comments about her cooking in the house and then told her to cook out in the garage because she could not stand the smell of her food. Mimi told me some other things she said Candice did to her in the last months of her tenancy, but I did not comment on anything, just listened. As Mimi relayed everything, I admit I allowed her to take up my entire day telling me about all the drama. Mimi needed to vent, so I let her. I was surprised at everything she told me, yet I remained very neutral in how I replied because I did not want my position as her supervisor to give the impression I would be siding with anyone since the matter did not involve me or the job. Meanwhile, Candice never mentioned anything to me and never gave any impression there may have been issues with Mimi. Since the situation did not involve me or the job I never felt I was in a position to confront Candice about anything.Since I am in a position to create schedules at my job, I had to place both Mimi and Candice together to work on a project, though I was hesitant based on what I learned from Mimi. However, I felt obligated to do it because it is my job and their job and frankly, there was no one else I could place together based on other scheduling to accommodate Mimi. Months before, Mimi had issues working with another employee I supervise (Carol) and because I felt the situation between the two of them was too much to take with their constant complaints about each other, I decided to keep Mimi and Carol separate at work. Today when I created a schedule placing Mimi and Candice together for one day to work on an important project for a few hours, Mimi emailed me at home and asked me not to place her to work with Candice. I told Mimi that I was sensitive to her situation with Candice but that I had to remain professional and asked that she and Candice both be professional. I also mentioned that I did not see an issue the last time the two of them worked together and I also let Mimi know that I had intentionally accommodated her long term by keeping her and Carol from working together. I don't want to cause trauma for anyone at the job or be insensitive, but I really want to be an effective leader, too. However, AITA for not changing the schedule to not allow Mimi and Candice to work together?

AITA for Not Considering Mimi's Feelings?

NTA

1112a12

My best friend (20F) is the secret child of an celebrity. The celebrity has a very private personal life that the public knows nothing about. She has been leaving breadcrumbs and trying to come out as his for the past year on social media. She has posted videos in his houses, on vacations, of his other kids, on private planes, etc. She updates everybody (and I think it’s his fans mainly) about her daily life on social media and overshares everything that has to do with herself, our friends, her relatives, her dad and her mother, drama - privacy doesn’t exist with her. She has got into fights with his fans because they think she’s fake and unhinged. She is always trying to prove herself to these people, yet they have a very warped vision of him and he can do no wrong in any situation, he’s always innocent even with proof he isn’t. She dumps everything and then deletes posts randomly. I think they know deep down there’s truth to it and they can’t take it. Her posts are inconsistent which people think is SUS, she doesn’t want to make her father mad by going to media, she lives with him and he provides everything but she wants to leave breadcrumbs on SM and when she’s mad at him she spirals. She’s posted her birth certificate and custody papers, which his fans thought was fake. Despite my friend looking like him as well. She flips out because “he” or his special media manager occasionally makes posts on social media about his known children, for show. She knows it’s all for show and still gets publicly upset. Her relatives have been harassed by fans about her, asked if she is his and they deny it. They can’t say anything. I guess maybe they don’t want to deal with the wrath of her father and it’s just not anybodies business. They are strangers and aren’t entitled to that information. He will face massive backlash if it comes out. They think it’s weird she doesn’t post a selfie with him, yet if she did they would say it’s photoshopped. There is no convincing those people and I’ve told her this.I told her I think she should stop trying to be known as his. You are only hurting yourself. You receive the same perks as his other children, despite not being publicly known. You get whatever you want, you get to travel wherever, you get whatever special perks he gets if you are with him somewhere, you personally know him and you get to spend time with him, you are still his daughter at the end of the day, despite not being publicly known and you can live a normal life with him and perks under the radar. I really don’t think it’s going to go how you think. If you gain followers it’s because of him, not because they have interest in you. These people are so rude to you on a daily basis, and I think it’s affecting you mentally. I don’t think they deserve to know anything. You over share way too much and it’s not their business. You don’t need social media approval for being his daughter. Social media isn’t real life. People in the industry already know about you.

AITA for telling my friend that she needs to stop trying to be publicly known?

YTA

110zz0g

For Christmas, my dad and step mom (50s) asked what I wanted from them, and I (26F) showed my dad a pair of shoes I wanted for work. I showed him the website, described the exact reason I wanted them, and showed him the two color options I liked. They never brought up the shoes again, so I just assumed they were either not buying them or my dad remembered what I had showed him. On Christmas Day, I open a box with a pair of shoes from the same company that are actually trail running shoes and not even close to the style or color I asked for. I waited until the next day then asked if they would be able to return them to get their money back and thought I would just buy the ones I wanted myself. My step mom and dad insisted that they wanted this to be a gift from them, so they would exchange the shoes and had me show them the pair I wanted.About a week later, I’m having a meal with my dad when he gets a text from my step mom with a QR code to exchange my shoes, and I once again offer to have them just return the shoes and have me purchase the pair I want that way I have them in time to wear for work. He again insists that they are taking care of it.Fast forward to yesterday, my family invites me out for breakfast and as I am heading to my car, sends me a text with a QR code and hands me a box with the shoes that they apparently never returned over the past month and a half. They tell that it’s no big deal, I just have to take the box with the QR code to the post office and the exchange will happen. After dropping the box off, I call them and tell them that I’m grateful they bought the shoes but this “gift” doesn’t really feel like a gift, it feels like a task, and I’m frustrated because I didn’t realize that they never actually exchanged the shoes and now I won’t have the pair I wanted in time for work. They immediately start telling me that it’s all my fault from the beginning for not sending them the exact link to the shoes I wanted, and that they are “so sorry” that I had to take a couple minutes out of my day to run to the post office and that I’m not grateful for them buying me expensive shoes. I stated to them multiple times that it wasn’t about the initial gift they got me that upset me, but the delay in actually exchanging the shoes and the fact that they, without asking, just expect me to take care of the exchange process. I know at this point that the shoes will be exchanged and I will likely get the shoes I originally hoped for, just late, so I feel like it was kind of pointless for me to start an argument with them, especially over a pair of shoes. AITA for complaining about the whole process of receiving this gift and about being expected to take care of the return myself?

AITA for starting an argument over a Christmas gift

NTA

1112659

long story short: i have terrible anxiety. i suffer with GAD and SAD and possibly AvPD but my therapist has yet to send me to a psychologist for that one. it’s incredibly hard for me to talk to anyone, especially new people. thankfully, i have a lovely bf and i’m pretty comfortable with him after almost a year, but there’s a problem: my anxiety. i want his mom to like me but it’s so hard to even look at her. the thought of having to start a conversation with her makes my heart race and it makes me nauseous. today, i went to his house for the super bowl and his mom was there. when he brought me into his house, he grabbed me by my shoulders and said “talk to my mom, start a conversation with my mom. you wanna be my wife right? then please just try to talk to my mom.” right in front of her so loudly and omg i wanted to vomit. i felt so embarrassed and i couldn’t even begin to get words out. i know how important it is to him that i talk to his mom but i don’t know how to. the times i have conversated with her have been short due to me not knowing how to continue the conversations or me saying something stupid that made her laugh and walk off. i have terrible social skills especially w shit like this. i’ve never known how to talk to any of my past bfs parents either and they all ended up not liking me bc i’m too quiet and i don’t talk to them first. i want to talk to his mom and even be close with her but it seems impossible to me. i feel like a complete asshole because i know i have to talk to her, i just feel as if i cant. i want my boyfriend to realize that i’m trying but fighting this constant battle with my social anxiety 24/7 at the same time.AITA?

AITA for not starting convos with my bfs mom?

NTA

110nouz

AITA For being angry with my mom, uncle and sister?To start I’m a 19(m) year old who’s currently in college to become a lawyer. My mom (45) was in the military but left and after, than worked about 4 Jobs; now unemployed. The problem is She decided to allow her brother (50) and his girlfriend (40?) to stay with us. They’ve been here for 7 months so far even though she told me it would be 2. This brother of hers has never stayed in a home by himself. It’s always been his mom, my aunt or his girlfriend(s) house.They don’t clean the house or after themselves, they don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, they also don’t cook anyone any food most of the time but leave their pots and dishes in the sink. Her brother doesn’t work a job and has never really worked a job because (moms words) “child support be eating his ass up”. He has about 7 kids and take care of none of them and I believe all of the many different moms put him on child support. His car broke down (that was gifted to him by his father in his will ) and he DEBOd his mom out her car by lying to her and nagging her. Now his mom call my mom and asks her where her car at and tell her how much she needs her car back but yet won’t tell her own son. After watching them and dealing with them for 7 months I told my mom that they are now starting to affect my mental health (grades dropping, lack of motivation to work my job, and disdain for the whole family especially his mother. She keeps telling me that the things he do don’t matter and should not be affecting me. Then, she says it’s her house and I don’t have no say so in anything and tries to compare me (19) living with her with him (50) and his girlfriend by stating “all of y’all grown and living with me what’s the difference?”. Then, she proceeds to tell me how she doesn’t have the money to pay bills. My response is always “why don’t you have the money to pay the bills if you got two grown adults living here” she responds “y’all (me 19 and my sister 18) should be paying to! (Even though I’ve given her about 10k more than the others combined, and put stuff in my name for her) Then she proceeds to tell me she wants me and my sister to pay 500 each and her brother and girlfriend to pay 500 for the both of them. My mom also has two cars that are perfectly fine but has been sitting in the garage for two years because she’s too lazy to get them jumped and registered. So my sister always has to ask me for rides or my mom tries to take my car to drive her to avoid having to use her own car. I told my sister “mommy can get her car fixed so you can drive it she’s just to lazy to do so” and my sister doesn’t respond. This sister of mine always sides with my mom on anything right or wrong. AITA for being angry at all of them?

AITA for not wanting my uncle at my home, and thinking my mom is choosing someone else over me?

NTA

110y4q6

My mom has thyroid problems which if you didn’t know can cause almost bipolar behavior. One minute you are super angry or sad, and another minute you feel like a blobfish. My mom gets mad very easily at very stupid things. For example, this one time she had given me a box and told me to put stuff I didn’t have room for inside of it. She didn’t specify any certain way she wanted it done. I finished putting the stuff in the box and everything fit with about 1/4 of the box left with space, I thought I did an okay job since nobody was realistically going to see it. Since I was done I had decided to lay down on my bed and watch TikTok for a while. My mom stormed in and looked inside the box and turned to me to tell me I did it wrong. She then dumped everything out onto my bed and then got mad saying she shouldn’t have to do this for me. She has done this before and does it all the time (where she guilt trips me, gaslights me, or manipulates me into thinking she is the victim or that she is right). I was honestly fed up with her shit so I went off. I didn’t say anything too horrible, I just yelled at her and said that she wasn’t obligated to and that I did it in a way that is easiest for me. I also threw in that she doesn’t need to always take control of every thing I do. I felt like I stepped over the line but she had also kept saying the same thing over and over again every five minutes (that being her telling me to put the stuff in the box) which got pretty fucking annoying after thirty minutes since I was doing something else she had told me to do. I feel like I overstepped a bit and I feel bad for yelling at her since it really isn’t her fault. Am I the Asshole?

AITA for yelling back at my mom?

YTA

110zsob

(Sorry ahead of time for the consecutive posts, I'm kinda just posting all the stuff I'm worried about on here)I (F, 15), have been diagnosed with anorexia. The main reason I have it is because of my parents. They often talk about their weight, and diets and make jokes about what I eat in front of me, and it kind of just rubbed off on me. Granted, my ED is getting a lot better, I used to go days without eating but now I'm eating almost 3 meals a day. The first time my mother heard about the possibility of me having anorexia was when I was 14. I had stopped eating/had bad eating habits since I was 13. I was at the doctor's for my physical and had been honest on that paper they make you fill out. She had brought my mom in and told her about the answers I put and she had a look of shock and sadness on it. I don't really think I'll forget it.Ever since I have been somewhat getting better but the thought is always in my mind. There are always days when I don't eat much and my parents had kind of stopped caring. They often say things like, "It's a good thing you do so many sports." And, "You're all about the sweets, huh?" I don't think they really realized what they were saying was wrong but I feel like they should've.One day my mom was talking about what I was eating. It was the first full meal I'd had in almost a year. She went on about how the weights gonna come back and bite me. I reminded her that I had an ED and that at least I'm eating. She said that I had gotten better and she was just joking. I told her that her jokes are the reason I had an ED and that I hadn't really gotten better. She got really mad at me saying that it was horrible I was blaming it on her when I could have just told her what was going on and avoided the whole ED thing.I do feel bad because she is my mother but her "jokes" did hurt and I feel like she should've known that. But I don't really know at this point. So AITA?

AITA for telling my mom my ED is her fault? (TW - Eating disorders)

NTA

1111uo9

Today I (29f) haven't been feeling well. Lightheaded and fatigue so I've been laying down and asking my boyfriend to cook for me what I feel I can eat. He made me vegetables and asked what I wanted in them and I said salt and pepper and when he brought the vegetables he had put fennel seeds in them. I ate it and i didn't like it so I said why did you put fennel seeds in it I only wanted salt and pepper and he said to give it some flavor. He got all huffy when I said I didn't want to eat it and he kept insisting. I said, can you make me a sandwich instead I just want egg and bacon on it. He brought the sandwich to me toasted. I told him I didn't ask for it toasted, I just wanted regular bread and he got upset and said well why didn't you say that. I said I didn't know I needed to say that. He got really upset again and started accusing me of being ungrateful. He said he has been trying all day to help me and it may not be what I want but I still should eat it. It turned into a big argument. I don't understand how he is upset that I won't eat something I don't like. Am I being ungrateful for turning down his food after asking him to cook for me because I didn't like it?

AITA for asking my bf to make me food and not eating it?

YTA

110v7b7

Context: I (M-F, 14, Bi ) live with my family and grandma. the 6 main players are Me, L ( lesbian, F, 46 ), mom (F,36), grandma (F, 60-ish ) L's wife ( F, 48 ), and the extended family ( technically L is my great aunt, but I see her more than my uncle so I just call her aunt ) ( various ages ). me and L ( and L's wife ) are the only LGBT people in the family. She was a Key player by helping me accept and come out. now my family ( or at least my immediate family ) is kind. my mom is great but everyone else ( minus L and her S/O of course) are Christian and don't like "the gays". they disowned L five months after L married her wife, but I still keep in contact with them. lastly, they live 2 hours away from us. now onto the problemA few days ago i got mail ( which is rare since I barely get mail unless it's amazon ) and it was sent by L's wife. it read as follows ( this is copy paste. tho I did change this like my name, address, etc )" Dear OP, Me and L invite you and the rest of your family to come to XXX city to come to celebrate our anniversary on 3/12/23. I understand if your family can't or refuses to go, but we wish for YOU to come. Although if you have plans then it's fine. Either way, can you Send us a card to the address of ( their home address ) or email us at "Fakegmail.com ". if you tell us you can make it then tell us so in the email, and L's wife will pick you up two days prior. by L and L's wife. "now to the problem: i DO want to go. they supported me so much, but my family does not want me to. my Mom said she will let me go if I want to, but she won't drive me. my grandmother, siblings, and extended family is telling me not to go since they hate L. but I love L and her wife, they are kind and don't deserve the discrimination. I am planning on going, but I worry that by going it may cause an uproar.So reddit WIBTA by going?

WIBTA if i went to my aunt?

YWNBTA

110k6w9

i (F16) am part of a drama company and we’re currently doing the musical grease. to some people, it might not be a big deal but grease is a very important musical to me as i grew up with it being my favourite film and would watch it literally once a week. so, as you can imagine, i auditioned as quickly as i could.i worked my ass off for that audition and was so happy when i was cast as rizzo , my favourite character in the show and had been since i was 3. this was such a big deal to me and my mum who loves grease too. i was absolutely elated and made sure to work my hardest in rehearsals. however, the whole rehearsal process, my dad would constantly criticise me. wether it was my singing,my acting, my dancing or just the fact i was doing theatre in general. he’d argue that it was a “waste of time” and i should focus on something more important. keep in mind, my dad is a builder with barely any qualifications let alone any preforming experience which, in itself, is completely fine, but he is in no position to criticise my preforming. ive been doing musical theatre stuff like this since i was around 8 and hes always been critical of it. our show was a week ago and it ran for 5 nights and overall we did 7 shows. however, it lead to conflict when my dad asked to come see a show. i initially said yes, just happy that he was finally interested in me. but , after thinking about t it, i realised it would only hinder my performance. firstly, id be insanely nervous that hed be there judging me. secondly, my dad attended my previous show, matilda, and spent the whole show on his phone or half asleep. not to mention the criticism i received after and his complaining about what a waste of time it was. this really ruined the experience and probably my performance too (it really damaged my self esteem). thats why this time i request him not to come.he said i was out of order and that it was a nasty thing to do and my mum agreed saying that hes my father and i should respect him more, but why should i when he doesn’t respect me? although, i do feel guilt because maybe he genuinely wanted to see it. am i the asshole?

AITA for not wanting my dad at my show?

NTA

110xl3z

My sister (26f) gets very angry with me (23f) every time I enter the kitchen if she is already in there, saying I should obviously know to wait until she's done because I'm "getting in her way". The last time this happened, I microwaved a burrito while she was at the stove, today it happened because I was putting food in a bowl to microwave while she was at the sink. Today she actually told me it's a huge "social faux pas" and "widely known to be extremely inappropriate." I try to not get in her way and be quick but she bumps into me and grunts a lot, as if I am a huge inconvenience no matter where I stand in the room. This fight usually(including today) ends with me saying she's being selfish and then her saying something along the lines of "yeah well you're the most self centered person I know" or in some other way taking a jab at my character. Is it actually a social faux pas? I've never heard of it, and if it is would it apply to siblings who live together in their parents' home?

AITA for using the kitchen while my sister is already using it?

NTA

1111nbm

For Context: I (20F) have two older brothers, ‘A’ (30M), ’B’ (27M). Growing up I was not close with either of them because of the age gap but I was always closer to B. A pretty much ignored me after I turned 4, which I dont blame him because he was 14 and what 14 yo wants to hand with a 4 yo. When I was 9, A moved out after a fight with my mom and I did not see him for a year and a bit When he started visiting again, he did not really work on creating a relationship with me nor did he really do anything to make up for lost time but truthfully, it didn’t super bother me because I had B who I’d grown closer to. As the years past, A and I have a good relationship and I love him just as much as B. However, A has always picked on me more (in a brotherly way) and likes to jokingly make fun of me when I don’t get great grades. (Everyone in my family is aware of the extreme pressure I put on myself to get good grades and how not doing well negatively affects my mental health.) As for my SIL, (26F, ‘C’) she has been with B since they were 17/18 and used to babysit me. We have always gotten along and I feel like I finally got a sister in her. She is the person I go to for advice and we hang out alone together. She also was very strict on herself about grades so she has helped me with that struggle in the past. While, A and I have a good relationship, we don’t do much together and I only see him when he comes over for family dinner and the odd phone call. Context out of the way, I am going home for reading break this week ( I go to uni in a different province) and was joking to my mom about how I was most excited to see my cats. We laughed and she asked who I was actually most excited to see and I gave a mini list. In it, I said that I was more excited to see my sister in law (24F, ‘C’) than my oldest brother. My mom started to get mad at me and said that I am unfair to him and family is family and its rude of me to want to see C more than A. She said that A has been trying to get close to me and I just brush him off, I need to put my brothers above everyone else because they are my ‘true family’. When I pointed out that C was very much my true family, she said that doesn’t count. I tried to explain to her that me not being as excited to see A as C or B does not mean that I love A any less. Nor does it mean that I don’t value him or want a relationship with him. I just like hanging with C more. She said that was super disrespectful to A and I was being selfish. We ended up having a really heated argument about this and she called me a jerk and hung up. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to see C more than A considering how much more C and I have built our relationship but my moms strong reaction has me second guessing myself, AITA?

AITA for Wanting to See My SIL More Than My Oldest Brother?

NTA

110z9ph

i(f17) have on multiple occasions, found my brother (m12) in the bathroom on his phone late at night. usually, i just give him a weird look and tell him to get out so i can piss or whatever. this time, however, he had locked the door, and had his airpods in, unable to hear me jiggling the handle and knocking. i was a little concerned at first that he was hurt or in danger (since in my family, if you lock the door to the bathroom you usually showering/using the toilet) since he wasnt responsive. Eventually, he came to the door and i got frustrated. I asked him why he couldn’t just stay in his room, and he said it was more comfortable in the bathroom, and he was afraid of geting in trouble w our parents for being awakw too long. I got annoyed, and ended up textinf my dad to ask why my brother can’t have the room lights on later (for context, our rooms are next to eachother, and i have no regulations whatsoever, yet at 9:00 my brother cant have any lights on. I know we are years apart, but he is probaly old enough to not need to have a set bedtime) I was mostly irritated that my brother was more afriad of getting in trouble for being in his room awake than grossed out laying on the bathroom floor. my brother told me not to tell our parents, but i wanted them to know that the rules they had for him were causing him (and me) inconvenience. I advocted he speak to them before i did, (weeks ago) and he never did, and the problem kept happening. i feel like an asshole for going against his wishes, but its made his sleep schedule worse (hes been late to school more often bc he misses the bus, and either my mom or i have had to drive him) as well as making it impossible to use the bathroom if he falls asleep in there and i dont want to wake him.

AITA for ratting out my brother

NTA

110jx1o

Me (28F) and my boyfriend (29M) have been discussing lately cause I fall asleep while being with him and he gets angry. We have been together for years, and we always had an agreement to seeing each other one day on and the other off. Since the beginning we agreed on him coming to visit me cause his parents are very noisy and wouldn't let us be alone in his room (even we are over age), I live alone, I have an income now and he is still with them. We started agreeing on the hour being 5 pm and with time it started moving to 7pm, and now he leaves around midnight. Of course we are older than when we started dating and now I fall asleep easily when watching tv, and when he comes at my house we almost always watch movies, series or anime. So, now when we are together and I fall asleep he gets angry at me and tells me "If I'm that boring just tell me" and even when I explained that I get asleep no matter who I am with he still gets angry. I told him it's not fair of him to being that angry at me for something my body does automatically, and that if he wanted it to change that maybe the best option was for him to come over earlier, around 5pm as before. He said yes but hasn't make an effort to do it. Keep in mind he is unemployed and doesn't study so he doesn't have any schedule that prevents him for arriving earlier. So yesterday it happened again, he got up and started to leave and I followed him and told him it's not fair for him to be that angry. I also told him it's not like we can only see once a week and I fall asleep, we still share a lot of time together and he only has to arrive earlier to fix this issue. But it seems he doesn't care, told me again he was going to come earlier (like two months ago when we had the argument for like the third time) but he has said that before and didn't do it.So now I'm angry at him and so annoyed that it seems that I give all my effort in the relationship (I buy us snacks, sometimes buy dinner, invite him to all my social gathering he doesn't go to, invite him to go to my dads house and family parties and he doesn't go either, I stopped talking to people that annoys him) and he just doesn't do anything and keeps complaining (he also said he's going to find work so we can't move together and he still hasn't). He said "you say I don't make any effort but I come see you!" And I think that's like...the minimum for a relationship. The only thing he changed when I asked him is start going to therapy and taking anti depressants so at least he showed he wanted a change. But we still have this problem.So...AITA for telling him to not get angry when I fall asleep?

AITA for defending myself for falling asleep?

NTA

110utwx

I have some friends in India, they are poor/lower caste. I'm an American. We have been friends for a while. I've been to India. Last year, I made a promise that I would help them as best as I could as they mentioned the intention of going abroad, particularly the daughter of my closest friend (a 44 year old woman). I wanted at least one of her daughters to succeed in this (because I had seen their situation and I know the difficulty of being a woman over there).They had told me that family and friends come before money. I told them I could help her with her IELTS, which she never took me up on. For her birthday, I saved up some money to send which I hoped they would put to use for a tutor or something. I was happy to give and didn't expect it back. They said they would pay me back. She made it seem like she would use the money to further advance herself, but I later found out she gave all her money to her mother who spent nearly all of it. She took the test (she took a picture of the results) and had failed. She was distraught and I encouraged her to not give up.For a year I supported them afterward. I told them to tell me their plans, I told them to save and prepare accordingly. They always seemed to have problems. I mainly communicated with her two daughters. Something seemed off about this though I know her mother was ill-educated (she was married as a child). At the time I was in a stable position, so I had no qualms about anything.Her mother had also gone around burrowing large amounts of money from neighbors she worked for. I told them this may bite them back in the future. She told me about another exam she was going to try and take. My situation started to change. I needed to start to save money for myself. My mom was getting worse. I said I couldn't give what I could before. I got angry. I said to give me time for a year to improve my career (I was working on my own exams). I started to feel bad talking to them now.I think what broke me was when she brought up a police case filed against her mom (she gave me a picture of it). I made up my mind to stop talking to them then. Maybe I should have let them suffer the consequences, but I'm not that kind of person. I told them the date I would give, I said I feel like you will never stop asking for more. All of a sudden her mother pops into the conversation with voice audio saying "i'm like a god to her and if it wasn't for me they would be stuck in a bad situation and that they love my heart and mind. i'm misunderstanding them".The date comes, her daughter says please understand. I said nothing. She later thanks me and then says here's my new number. I haven't heard a response from them.I feel like an asshole. I guess because I made a promise to some friends. I need some insight so I can learn from this experience. My other Indian friends say that money often gets involved even with them and their friends/family and it is a complicated problem for them.Thank you for reading.

AITA -- For Getting Angry and breaking a promise to a friend?

NTA

1111fpw

Just wanted to understand if iam an ass for taking my time in sending an edited short film to my friend. He had a filming idea for a concept and he wanted my help filming and editing it out. I’ve promised to help for all of that but i got a job in production middle of the year and most of my time is taken by this job and I cannot give up on the job as it’s my only source of income. So finding time to edit the movie has become hard and it’s been 6 months since I sent it out, I will release it, it’s just that I need my time off from work to edit and to make it look amazing, and I’ve given my word I will send it out soon. And if anyone would ask, yes im doing it for free. AITA for making my friend wait so long to receive this project from me? Please help

AITA for being late in sending a film project to my friend

NTA

110ojob

I(22f) live with my parents, since it's a part of my culture (Indian). Even if I could, I wouldn't be allowed to move unless if I get married or it's for education. My parents make good money. We recently bought an apartment adjoining to our old one. We previously lived in 1 bedroom apartment (me, mum and my 2 siblings), as well as rented the aforementioned apartment which is 2 bedroom. I wasn't allowed to put any decoration in my room because it was in the rented part. My parents promised I could decorate the room however I wish when we buy it. However since we've bought the house, my mum has decided to buy another house in a different part of the city and move there. My mum has decided to put a bunk bed and a wacky ass wardrobe in my room since that is what my siblings want in the city house. Honestly, I hate the idea. I'd prefer a much different furniture and it's really expensive. (Think Victorian era mirrors and bed made of ceramic and Mahogany wood with carved details). I can only pay for parts of it. I can't afford the bed for a while. Additionally, I wanted to buy a MacBook for college because my laptop is an i3 processor from 2019 that was used by everyone in the pandemic. I am not complaining about stuff, but I don't want my siblings and their beds in my room. It's where I work from and it's where I study. Also I don't want these things immediately. We could start with string lights and buy the bed and mirror in 2024 maybe. Just not the bunk bed and blackpink themed study tables.My parents agreed to buy it all but have started to back off from buying these because of the city house and because my dad totalled our car and we have to buy a new one. (The insurance only pays the down payment, we are buying an updated version).I told about this to my friend and she said that while she understands my frustrations, I am being an asshole because these things are expensive .I know I am being entitled and I am privileged, but am i being an asshole for making the demands?Edit 1: I paid 20% of the price because I wanted to. I am stuck with this house. This house is my probable dowry if I let my parents choose my husband. (I am 100% okay with arranged marriage, I don't care for romance). Moving out would be social Suicide. This room, and my parts of my education are only 2 things that I have some control over. The bunk bed can be put in a room adjacent to mine, only issue would be it'll be useless since only my room has an AC

AITA for making expensive demands from my parents?

YTA

110z0u8

​I'm new to Reddit, so I don't really know how this worksI've been dating my girlfriend for the past 3 years (we're both 18, I know it's young) and she's always been the study kind of girl, but since we went to college a year ago this has been much worse. We were in the same high school, so we used to see each other every day, and HS wasn't as demanding as college, so everything was fine. Now we go to different colleges, so basically we don't get the chance to see each other as much as we used to. She's always telling me that after this one exam we are going out and spending more time together... but there's always one more after that. I'm kind of getting sick of getting disappointed every time, even tho we talked many times about it, nothing changes. We were going out on Valentine's Day (in 2 days) but right now she just asked me if we could postpone it to another week. Our anniversary is on the 28th, and she wants to also postpone it to march. I'm happy that she's doing everything she can to get good grades, but her mental health declined a lot since November, and she's always telling me that she misses me, which is confusing because I don't feel like she does any effort (not even a text from time to time). Does anyone know what should I do at this point?(sorry for bad English, it's not my main language)

AITA for wanting to see my girlfriend more often?

NTA

110rtaw

Hi guys,A few things to keep in mind here. I work 3rd shift and sleep during the day. My boyfriend and I are polyamorous. He has a husband and we also have a mutual (male) friend who is into the same things we are. For a while now, BF has been telling me he is going to give me something I've wanted for a long time... involving this friend, J. I'm an artist, and I have a client who is coming to my area on Valentine's day. They commissioned a painting from me and want to pick it up that day. So, originally the plan was that my bf was going to drive down to my place after taking his husband to work at 2PM. We were going to spend the later afternoon/evening together, and then meet my client and exchange money/painting real quick before having dinner together.(Just me and BF, my client wasn't joining us for dinner. Just for clarity)Well, today when I woke up, bf told me he is bringing J along on Valentine's Day and they are coming to my house in the morning. I told him that just doesn't work for me because I have to sleep at some point during the day. I understand a lot of people just don't empathize with third shift workers. I get it. But the last thing I want to do after working all night is have fun with two guys, then stay up all day, go meet a client, and then go to work again that night.So I told him maybe we should just wait until Thursday/Firday when I'm off work. He was like, "If you're upset that I was bringing J you could have just said something. For Christ's sake, men are dumb. You know this."So now he's annoyed with me. I don't think I did anything wrong. I am just trying to make things easier for everyone involved. What he wants us to do with J isn't going to be very fun if I'm dead tired. I know for him the day itself is really important. I think he's more upset that if we do what I'm suggesting this won't be happening on February 14th (Valentine's day.)So what do yo guys think? AITA?

AITA for wanting to reschedule Valentine's Day Plans?

NTA

1111a6g

I am actually looking for some outside perspective as this is a very important thing going on for me and my family rn.My grandma passed away very very recently. I'm talking about days ago. I've lived with and have taken care of her for the last ~5 years, along with my aunt, who I'm very close with and she didn't live with us but came by every day to take care of what I couldn't do. It was always the two of us having to bear with the burden, but my grandma was extremely fond of my older sister, who rarely stopped by to visit. I don't hate my sister per se, but she used to be extremely cruel to me (borderline abusive) when I was younger, which has made me extremely wary of her and not able to cope with being in the same space with her for more than a couple hours without starting to dissociate or snapping. Now, I want to clarify, she HAS changed, and she is very kind to me now, but in general her personality is too much for me to handle, specially when it comes to things like loss of someone we both loved dearly (I don't deny my sister DID love my grandma, she just always had more important stuff to do than visit.) She is very extra, and suffocating in the way she goes about everything, SPECIALLY her own grief. Back to the issue right now, without my grandma home, I'm living by myself. This house isn't mine, legally it belongs to my aunt, but while she wants me to keep her up to date with what goes on here, she's made clear to me that as of right now she has no intention of neither moving in or having me move out. My sister (30F) currently lives with my dad, but she has a lot of fights and issues with my stepmother and is with one foot out of the house. Now since my grandma died, I've had her staying in my house every single day, and I'm going insane. Every day she makes a different excuse to continue to stay, and even when I set boundaries, she continues to bend them. I understand we're both grieving for someone we both loved very much, and that family should stick together at times like this, but I really just want to be left alone, and I can't begin to process my own grief because I am constantly having to deal with hers. I feel like I should have a bit more of a priority here when it comes to my feelings because my grandma was everything I cared about for the last few years, while in her case it was a visit every now and then. I don't mean to measure our pain because I know that's stupid, but I can't help but feel like it's unfair I'm not even allowed to ask to be left the fuck alone at MY house because of her. I've told her, kindly, that I want to be left alone to process the way my life is changing from now on, but she continues to play dumb and stay. I straight up want to kick her out at this point, but given the situation at hand and the fact that my grandma loved her so much and would beg me to be patient with her, I can't help but ask AITA?

AITA for not wanting my sister in my house after my grandma passed away?

NTA

11119e4

It started off when my friend (let's call her Lucy) started joking about how me and some other friends get no bitches. Y'know, just the typical "HAHA, YOU'RE BITCHLESS!!!" kind of jokes. I was at working through most of the day, so when I got home I decided to have some me time because the rush hours before the Super Bowl were fucking hell.I slept through it, and I asked my friends what'd I miss. Lucy's boyfriend started explaining that her and my other friend (let's call her Anna) were obsessing over Rihanna. Lucy misinterpreted it and thought he was making fun of them. I decided to send a picture of a reply with the skeleton trying to say something but rethinking what he was gonna say. Lucy, out of nowhere, decided to tell me again that I get no bitches and that I'm single. I just decided to just stop talking after that.Cut to an hour later, Lucy sends a funny dancing gif, and I reply by saying "Pfff-". Lucy, again, decides to call me bitchless again out of nowhere. She kept saying that I get zero bitches now. It was honestly starting to get annoying and on my nerves, and it started hurting that she was right, and after that, she said to stop laughing over her and Anna's excitement over Rihanna, but I didn't even make fun of them over that that time.I said "What the fuck", and her response was "You also the reason why straight girls go lesbain and lesbian girls get more lesbian alongside Turing gay men straight". After that, she kept telling me to "bow down to our queen". I was getting pissed off at this point with Lucy because she wasn't getting the hint that I was getting upset, but she still continued. The final straw was how she compared me to her 3 year relationship with her boyfriend and how easily Anna got a boyfriend in 2 days ago. She even said "Like Rihanna sang in one of her songs "You look so dumb right now"".That was the final straw that I had with her and I said that she was pushing it. She still didn't get the message and said "Bow to Rihanna and it'll be over". At that point, I had to make it clear that I wasn't joking around and I directly told her to stop it. After that, Lucy said "Tch fucking fun killer", and I thought that maybe I was being oversensitive to the joke. Am I the asshole?

AITA for taking my friend's joke too seriously?

NTA