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I asked my priest how he gets holy water | He said it’s just regular water, he just boils the hell out of it |
Life Hack: If you play My Chemical Romance loud enough in your yard | your grass will cut itself |
OMG. SISTERS. JAMES. CHARLES. IS. DOING. A | GIVEAWAY his career |
Why did Mr. Potato Head get pulled over | He was baked |
On zombie cravings. My kids and i had some fun with these on a car trip this past weekend. What do zombie plumbers crave. Draaaaains. What do zombie pilots crave. Planes. Plaaaanes. What do zombie conductors crave. Traaaains. What do zombie opthalmologists crave. Fraaames. What do zombie construction workers crave. Craaanes. What do zombie nurses crave. Paaains. What do vampires crave | Blood |
My wife is really mad at the fact that. I have no sense of direction. So | I packed up my stuff and right |
My dad made a joke in court. In court he had to prove that he had a relationship with his father by answering some questions about him. He was asked how his dad liked to have his pie. He replied with well with fork or spoon I would think | The judge laughed |
Back when. I was in a band. I had a roadie that was from. Poland. I also had a | Czech one too, czech one too |
How did the Mexican John Wick taste his Burrito | He took Juan Lick |
My wife said, “Why do you always insist on walking ahead of the rest of us. ” I said, “Sorry | I don’t follow |
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory | Hamnesia |
I was reading a book on the History of Glue earlier | I couldn't put it down |
My slow cooker. (x post /r/funny) http://i. imgur. com/osGKwl5 | jpg |
My GFs Dad commented on my Facebook Pic http://imgur | com/sTv7AMC |
How did the programmer get high | By doing lines of code |
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle. Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are. Me: Trick question | dogs can't whistle |
Why are feet so great | Because they are living legends |
What did the black duck call the white ducks | Quackas |
Little did. Trump know before he became | President... . |
Learn from your parents mistakes | Use birth control |
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit | I guess the pervert thinks of them as sex cymbals |
What goes 99 bonk | A centipede with a wooden leg |
I was starting to get concerned that my pony was having trouble neighing. Then | I realized it’s probably because he’s just a little horse |
If money doesn't grow on trees | then why do banks have branches |
I showed. Reddit to my gf, now she hangs here all day long | I kinda regreddit... |
The other day I was second guessing my decision to book time to visit a Native American community | It was a reservation reservation reservation |
Do you know where I store all these dad jokes | In my dadabase |
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a turban made out of paper towels. Bartender: What the hell | Pirate: Arrr, there is a Bounty on me head |
Grandpa hit me with this one while we were hoeing around some trees. We were cutting out some weeds and the handle of his favorite hoe broke in two pieces. He said Oh man that was my favorite hoe. At least I've still got your grandmother | Good one grandpa |
To the person who stole my glasses. Remember, | I have contacts |
Why do you measure a snake in inches | Because they don’t have any feet |
Last night I dreamt that I was a muffler on a car | Woke up exhausted |
And everybody's invited. Taking a shit. Daughter and dog come storming through the door and want to hang out in the bathroom. Mom asks what's going on | It's a real shit show in here |
“I’ll call you later. ” “Please don’t do that | I’ve always asked you to call me Dad |
Yesterday. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says. I'm okay, but. I feel like | I've dyed a little inside. |
I had a job interview at the zoo yesterday They didn't hire me | They said I was underkoalafied |
I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken I guess you could say it was | sage advice |
What do kids learn at pirate school | The three arrrs |
If he doesn't appreciate your fruit jokes | You need to let that mango |
Remember when air at the gas station used to be free. Now it costs 25 cents, 50 cents, I've even seen a dollar at one place. You know why they started charging for it | Inflation |
I had a joke about alzheimers. But | I forgot the punchline |
I had a dream I was a car | I woke up exhausted |
Everytime we are at a restaurant. Waiter/waitress: sir how would you like your (eggs, burger, ect). Dad: orally please | Still cracks me up every time |
Heh. http://i. imgur. com/PB7NuVc | jpg |
How do you comfort a frightened grammar nazi | There there, they're there |
Dad joked by a girl graduating to become a labor and delivery nurse | Her graduation cap read: L&D nurse, at your cervix |
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me | And I would like to thank my fingers because I can always count on them |
My daughter had asked me what a Steakhouse was . My response was Of course, it's a house made of steaks. Except the floor of course. That's made of ground beef | Heard the wife's eyes roll from across the room |
How do you know if there's ducks in your roof | There's quacks in the ceiling |
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator in three steps. Open the refrigerator door 2. Put the elephant in 3 | Close the refrigerator door |
My grandfather sat me down for a talk. He put his hand on my shoulder and solemnly said, Guess who's back. Who | Yours |
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass | Lawn-Forcement |
Whats the best thing about free wigs | You don't have toupee for them |
The furniture store won’t stop calling me | All I wanted was one night stand |
How bad does my kids want to watch Shaun the Sheep | Really Ba-a-a-a-a-ad |
The bartender said We don't serve time travelers here | A time traveler walks into a bar |
Me: Did you hear Reese ‘whats-her-name’ stabbed somebody. Kids: Witherspoon | Me: No, with a knife |
How do you find Will Smith in the snow | You look for fresh prints |
What do you call Dracula with hayfever | The pollen count |
How do you catch a mag fish | With a magnet |
A pun walks into a room and kills ten people | Pun in, ten dead |
I went golfing and I brought two pairs of socks | In case I get a hole in one |
I sat at the park for 3 hours today just staring at a frog | It was ribbiting |
You know what’s odd | Every other number |
This hipster got upset when his man bun was cut off | He really lost his cool |
What kinds of bird never has babies | A swallow |
Got dad joked hard while shopping yesterday My dad and I go up to the cash register at a clothing store to pay for some shorts. My dad asks the cashier Do you take chips | (Credit card chip readers) Without hesitation the cashier goes Yes sir and we have salsa to go with that and holds up a fresh jar of salsa from behind the register |
A man with 2 left feet walks into a shoe store and asks | Do you sell flip flips |
What’s a communist’s favorite unit of time | Hours |
My girlfriend makes costumes for my university's drama department. One day I asked her. Is something wrong | You seamstressed |
Where can you read about planets exploding | In the orbituaries |
What do you call the first Hawaiian in space | A Coconaut |
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road | It got stuck in a crack |
My doctors name is Peter Parker | But I just call him Web MD |
A fruit fly lands on my iPhone. I shoo it away and it keeps coming back. Me: this fruit fly won't leave my phone alone. It keeps coming back | Boyfriend: Well, it is an apple |
When my family went to France I made sure we avoided the Eiffel tower because I was afraid it would suck our blood | It is a Paris site |
What do you call a fake noodle | An impasta |
Don't spell part backwards | It's a trap |
My dad just dropped this on my sister. Sister:. Dammit my computer keeps freezing. Dad: put a little sweater on it. Then her and | I let out groans |
I was running a bath the other day and had to pop to the kitchen quickly, my gf shouted after me: Don't leave the bath running | I shouted back at her: Don't worry; it won't get very far |
How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is | Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now |
Don't throw sodium chloride at people | That's a salt |
When the nurses ask me how tall. I am. I tell them 5’10. I used to be taller but | I got married and settled down. |
What's a dog's least favorite Christmas song | Fleas Navidad |
What does a Norse god do when they don’t want to attract attention | They stay low key (Loki) |
One of us is possessed by an owl Son: who | Me: found it |
My biology teacher asked What's heavier, the Indian or African elephant | I said The elephant obviously |
My friend glued both his hands to his pistols. Everyone told him it was a bad idea, but he insisted they were all wrong | He's sticking to his guns |
I was playing Trivia Crack, and I (jokingly) asked out loud which state Philadelphia is in | My dad said decay |
What do you call a dog with no legs | Doesn’t matter, he won’t come when he’s called anyway |
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head. When | I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature. |
I admit to everyone on here that. I have a masterbation addiction | It’s cumpulsive |
Customer at work paid with $100 bill and ask for his change in smaller bills | Sorry sir, all the bills are the same size |
One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music. I think it’s the | Chopin board. |
Customer contemplates buying a cord and then says: Don't know if it'll work but might as well take a shot | Lincoln did |
Conjunctivitis | com Now that's a site for sore eyes |
What do your call a campground you just drove by | Past tents |
How did the hot dog ask out his crush | He mustard up the courage |
Why was Yoda afraid of seven | Because six, seven eight |
What is a birds favourite port on the back of a TV | AV in |
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Dad Jokes dataset
This dataset is generated from the Kaggle Reddit Dad Jokes by Oktay Ozturk, with the following modifications:
- Only jokes with 5+ votes were sampled. Less upvoted jokes are too cringe.
- With a set of heuristics, each joke was split into two parts: base and the punchline.
Format
The dataset is formatted as a CSV, and is split into train/test parts:
- train: 52000 samples
- test: 1400 samples
"question","response"
"I asked my priest how he gets holy water","He said it’s just regular water, he just boils the hell out of it"
"Life Hack: If you play My Chemical Romance loud enough in your yard","your grass will cut itself"
"Why did Mr. Potato Head get pulled over","He was baked"
"How did the Mexican John Wick taste his Burrito","He took Juan Lick"
Usage
With a base/punchline split, this dataset can be used for a joke prediction task with any LLM.
License
Apache 2.0.
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