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101 | How to Accept Followers on Twitter | 1. Accepting Followers on Twitter Mobile App
1-1. Open Twitter.
Tap the bluebird icon from the application screen of your smartphone or tablet to launch the application.
Log in if prompted.
1-2. Tap your profile icon or ☰.
You should see your profile pic or the three-line menu icon in the top left corner of your screen.
1-3. Tap Follower requests.
You'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have near the middle of the menu.
If you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.
1-4. Tap the checkmark to accept the request.
This person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.
If you don't want that person to see all your tweets, tap the icon instead.
2. Accepting Followers on Twitter on the Web
2-1. Go to https://www.twitter.com in a web browser.
You can use any web browser to do this. If you're using a phone or tablet, go to https://mobile.twitter.com instead.
Log in if prompted.
2-2. Click More.
It's next to a three-dot menu icon on the left side of the page and will prompt a menu to open.
2-3. Click Follower requests.
You'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have at the top of the menu.
If you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.
2-4. Click Accept.
This person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.
If you don't want that person to see your tweets, click instead.
In case you don't want to accept or decline requests for people to see your tweets, unprotect them. Using a web browser or the mobile app, go to (or tap your profile pic in the mobile app) and then click/tap the switch next to "Protect your Tweets" to turn it off.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Followers on Twitter Mobile App\\n1-1. Open Twitter.\\nTap the bluebird icon from the application screen of your smartphone or tablet to launch the application.\\nLog in if prompted.\\n1-2. Tap your profile icon or ☰.\\nYou should see your profile pic or the three-line menu icon in the top left corner of your screen.\\n1-3. Tap Follower requests.\\nYou'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have near the middle of the menu.\\nIf you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.\\n1-4. Tap the checkmark to accept the request.\\nThis person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.\\nIf you don't want that person to see all your tweets, tap the icon instead.\\n2. Accepting Followers on Twitter on the Web\\n2-1. Go to https://www.twitter.com in a web browser.\\nYou can use any web browser to do this. If you're using a phone or tablet, go to https://mobile.twitter.com instead.\\nLog in if prompted.\\n2-2. Click More.\\nIt's next to a three-dot menu icon on the left side of the page and will prompt a menu to open.\\n2-3. Click Follower requests.\\nYou'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have at the top of the menu.\\nIf you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.\\n2-4. Click Accept.\\nThis person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.\\nIf you don't want that person to see your tweets, click instead.\\nIn case you don't want to accept or decline requests for people to see your tweets, unprotect them. Using a web browser or the mobile app, go to (or tap your profile pic in the mobile app) and then click/tap the switch next to \\\"Protect your Tweets\\\" to turn it off.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you have a protected Twitter account and want to know how to accept followers? Accepting requests from others is an easy process. A protected account will need to accept followers before they can see any of your tweets, but if your tweets are public instead of protected, you will not see these options. This wikiHow article teaches you how to accept followers on Twitter using a computer and the app.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Followers on Twitter Mobile App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Twitter.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the bluebird icon from the application screen of your smartphone or tablet to launch the application.\\nLog in if prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap your profile icon or ☰.\", \"描述\": \"You should see your profile pic or the three-line menu icon in the top left corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Follower requests.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have near the middle of the menu.\\nIf you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the checkmark to accept the request.\", \"描述\": \"This person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.\\nIf you don't want that person to see all your tweets, tap the icon instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting Followers on Twitter on the Web\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.twitter.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser to do this. If you're using a phone or tablet, go to https://mobile.twitter.com instead.\\nLog in if prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click More.\", \"描述\": \"It's next to a three-dot menu icon on the left side of the page and will prompt a menu to open.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Follower requests.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see a badge with a number of how many pending requests you have at the top of the menu.\\nIf you don't see this, you either don't have any requests, or your tweets are public.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Accept.\", \"描述\": \"This person is now able to see all your past and future tweets.\\nIf you don't want that person to see your tweets, click instead.\\nIn case you don't want to accept or decline requests for people to see your tweets, unprotect them. Using a web browser or the mobile app, go to (or tap your profile pic in the mobile app) and then click/tap the switch next to \\\"Protect your Tweets\\\" to turn it off.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
102 | How to Accept Having a Large Bust | 1. Improving Your Body Image
1-1. Do not let your bust size define you.
It’s important to remember that your bust size or any aspect of your physical appearance does not define who you are as a person. Instead of dwelling on your bust size or worrying about how others perceive your bust, consider the qualities and traits that make you unique and amazing.
Try not to emphasize physical appearance when you do this. Instead, consider your interesting personality and special character traits.
1-2. Stop making negative comments about bust size.
Making negative comments about your bust size or other people’s bust size is a major obstacle in your quest to accept your bust size and improve your overall body image. Don’t allow yourself to talk or think negatively about your body and do not make negative comments about other people’s bodies.
Constantly making comments about your bust size can become a bad habit and even a fixation that will prevent you from accepting your large bust.
You shouldn’t make negative comments about other people’s bodies because you wouldn’t want people to make those comments about yours. In addition, research suggests that when we say negative things about other people’s bodies, our brains actually internalize this message and we direct the message to ourselves.
1-3. Be prepared for unwanted attention and negative stereotypes.
Unfortunately, our society and culture often make false assumptions that women with large busts are sexually promiscuous and unintelligent. You can prepare to deal with these situations in advance, and challenge these negative assumptions in the process.
Many women with large busts often receive unwanted male attention. Don't be afraid to be forceful if necessary and report inappropriate behavior to a teacher, supervisor, or the police. It's also not a bad idea for women to take a self-defense class and carry pepper spray.
Rehearse your response to rude comments or sexual advances so you'll be ready even if taken by surprise.
Sticking to conversation topics about class, business, and work helps send the message that you are smart and not merely a sexual object.
Some women have reported that talking about their mothers and grandmothers forces guys to see them more as daughters or sisters rather than sex objects. Hopefully, guys will adjust their behavior accordingly.
If possible, remove yourself from the situation and avoid people who objectify your body and make you feel bad about yourself.
1-4. Provide self-affirmations when you have negative thoughts.
If you have a negative or disparaging thought about your bust size, try to immediately replace it with a positive one. For example, if you have a moment where you feel that your bust is too large, think about how nice you look in a certain outfit or type of outfit.
Writing these positive affirmations down and leaving them on your mirror, in your wallet, or in your purse can help you feel more confident and comfortable with your body.
1-5. Ban images that make you feel bad about your bust.
Through television, movies, magazines, video games, toys, articles, and online media we are inundated with images of idealized body types. It can be challenging not to compare your own body—especially bust size—to these images and feel that it is deficient in some way. Avoiding images that make you feel bad about yourself can help you accept your large bust.
It’s unrealistic to think you can totally eliminate your exposure to these images, but minimizing your exposure will help you combat social pressures and prevent you from comparing your own bust size and body to these unnatural images.
1-6. Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself.
If there’s someone in your life who makes negative comments about your large bust size or makes you feel negative about it, try talking to this person about how you feel. They may not realize their comments or attitude are hurtful.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking with the person or they dismiss your concerns, it might be best to avoid being around these individuals. Instead, surround yourself with people who help you feel good about yourself and your body.
1-7. Try meditating.
Meditation can help you push away and eliminate negative thoughts, so the next time you are having a hard time accepting your large bust size, try to sit for 5 to 10 minutes, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing.
To accept your bust size and prevent negative thoughts from gaining too much power, say something positive about your body while you meditate such as “I love and accept my body.” Then take a deep breath, and repeat this as needed.
1-8. Remember that you are not alone.
Many women report that they have a hard time accepting their bust size and feeling good about their bodies. As a result, you shouldn’t feel isolated or alone.
Consider joining an online support network, forum, chat group, or social media group about body image or bust size so you can connect with women who are dealing with similar struggles. This will help you feel less alone, and is an excellent opportunity to learn and share tips for accepting your bust size and promoting a healthy body image.
1-9. Be patient.
Improving your body image and accepting your large bust size will likely not happen overnight. It’s a process that will be more effective if you are patient and understanding with yourself.
If you continue to worry about your large bust size or other body-image issues, consider talking with a counselor. They will be able to offer support and help guide you toward self-acceptance.
2. Dressing to Flatter Your Body
2-1. Check your bra size and get properly fitted.
An essential step in your journey to bust acceptance is to check your bra size and get properly fitted. Research indicates that many women mistakenly wear the wrong size bra, which can make you feel and look less comfortable, confident, and attractive.
Your bra size and needs also fluctuate as you get older, gain or lose weight, and have children. Asking an expert to determine your bra size will help ensure you get a bra that looks and makes your large bust feel great.
A professional bra fitter can also help address any specific concerns you might have about your bust, and find a style that suits your specific needs. For example, if you feel that your large bust size is causing back pain or discomfort, a bra fitter can select styles that resolve these problems and give you the support you need. If you would like to minimize cleavage, they can recommend a bra that will help accomplish this.
Most major department stores and lingerie stores offer free expert fittings. If you prefer to shop online, many online retailers offer resources and personalized bra-fitting tools and quizzes that can help you locate the appropriate bra for your bust.
2-2. Wear clothes that fit.
When clothes do not fit properly, you will not feel confident and the ill-fitting selection can draw negative attention to your large bust. Avoid clothes that are too tight or too baggy, so you can look your best and feel more comfortable with your large bust size.
More clothing stores and designers are introducing styles specifically for women with large busts, so look for these options when you are clothes shopping.
2-3. Work with a tailor.
Women with large busts often find it can be helpful to work with a good tailor who can alter clothes so that they accommodate and flatter large busts. Part of accepting your large bust might be admitting you need assistance with alterations since clothes are not always designed for women with larger bust sizes.
2-4. Shop at vintage stores.
In past decades, our culture celebrated women with full busts and clothing designers catered toward this body type. As a result, you might have luck shopping for clothing that flatters large busts in a vintage store.
As a bonus, you’ll have clothes that are more unique and interesting than the ones your peers are wearing.
2-5. Learn about styles that are flattering on full busts.
Before your next shopping trip, do some online research on styles that are considered flattering on women with large busts. If you feel comfortable and attractive with what you are wearing, you will have a more positive attitude about your bust size. Here are a few options that style experts recommend:
Open necklines such as scoop necks, V necks, sweethearts, or round necklines help elongate the torso and draw attention away from the bust.
Accessories such as a scarf, a pendant, or a larger necklace also elongate your torso and move the eyes away from the chest area.
Look for longer shirts because a large bust shortens the length of the top. Shorter shirts can appear too small or cropped.
Wrap dresses and shirts generally accentuate cleavage and highlight the waist.
2-6. Minimize your chest by wearing dark colors.
If you are uncomfortable with your large bust size and would like to draw less attention to your chest, try wearing dark colors. This will downplay your full bust.
Light colors will make your bust appear larger.
2-7. Choose tops that do not appear fussy.
If you would prefer not to draw attention to your larger bust, avoid tops that have lots of embellishments, ruffles, trim, pockets, or large logos.
Horizontal stripes also tend to emphasize a larger bust.
2-8. Avoid tops that gap or pull.
Women with a large bust often find that button-up shirts gape between the buttons or pull across the chest. Try on shirts when you are shopping or make sure you can return ones that don't fit well.
You might also be able to secure the shirt with safety pins or fashion tape, so don't give up if you find one you really like. A tailor can also alter the shirt so it flatters your figure without gaping or pulling.
2-9. Pick styles and options that make you feel comfortable and confident.
While there are many theories and guidelines about how women with larger busts should dress, it is ultimately your decision and you should wear what you feel most comfortable and confident in. This will help you accept your large bust.
3. Reducing Bust Size
3-1. Do daily cardio exercise.
If you are having a hard time accepting your large bust and want to explore non-surgical options to reduce your bust size, focus on doing daily cardio exercises for 45 to 60 minutes. This will help you lose body fat, and since breast tissue is composed mostly of body fat, you will likely notice a reduction in your bust size, and improved general health.
Since it can be uncomfortable for women with large busts to run and jog, try lower-impact cardio exercises such as walking, using an elliptical, or riding a bike.
3-2. Build and tone chest muscles.
Building and toning your chest muscles, especially the pectorals, may decrease your bust size and help improve your overall health. Here are a few exercises that will tone and tighten your chest muscles:
Push ups.
Barbell Bench Press.
Dips.
Even if you do not notice a reduction in breast size, these exercises can help tone and strengthen your body, preventing the back pain and discomfort that often plagues women with larger busts.
It’s a good idea to work with a personal trainer who can tailor a workout plan and recommend specific exercises to tone and tauten your chest.
3-3. Learn about breast reduction surgery.
If you are unable to accept your large bust size or are experiencing health problems as a result of your bust size, conduct research on breast reduction surgery. This procedure, also known as reduction mammaplasty, removes excess tissue and skin from the breasts so they are reduced in size.
If you are a teenager or young adult uncomfortable with their larger bust size, physicians usually recommend waiting on the surgery until your breasts are fully developed.
Some doctors also suggest waiting until you have had children or your family is complete since pregnancy leads to changes in breast tissue, which may impact the results of the surgery. Research suggests that breastfeeding after this surgery is also more difficult.
If you are considering breast reduction surgery, meet with a board-certified plastic surgeon to discuss the procedure, learn about the cost, and decide if you think it would improve your health and body image.
3-4. Talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns.
Before you decide that surgery is the best way to deal with a larger bust, talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns. If your large bust size is affecting your health or causing you discomfort, your doctor might have a way to address these issues and alleviate these problems.
3-5. Meet with a counselor.
If you are struggling to accept your large bust, consider meeting with a counselor or mental health professional. They can provide support and advise you about how you can learn to accept your body.
While it is natural to feel unhappy about a certain aspect of your physical appearance, if these thoughts become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life, you may be experiencing body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). People with this condition tend to focus on or obsess over a perceived flaw in their physical appearance. A mental health professional will be able to diagnose and treat this condition.
Tips
Positive self-affirmations and meditation can help you dispel negative thoughts about your bust size.
If you are uncomfortable with your bust size, you can wear dark colors to downplay a larger bust.
A properly fitting bra can make you feel more comfortable, confident, and attractive, so consider going to a lingerie or department store for a personalized fitting.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Improving Your Body Image\\n1-1. Do not let your bust size define you.\\nIt’s important to remember that your bust size or any aspect of your physical appearance does not define who you are as a person. Instead of dwelling on your bust size or worrying about how others perceive your bust, consider the qualities and traits that make you unique and amazing.\\nTry not to emphasize physical appearance when you do this. Instead, consider your interesting personality and special character traits.\\n1-2. Stop making negative comments about bust size.\\nMaking negative comments about your bust size or other people’s bust size is a major obstacle in your quest to accept your bust size and improve your overall body image. Don’t allow yourself to talk or think negatively about your body and do not make negative comments about other people’s bodies.\\nConstantly making comments about your bust size can become a bad habit and even a fixation that will prevent you from accepting your large bust.\\nYou shouldn’t make negative comments about other people’s bodies because you wouldn’t want people to make those comments about yours. In addition, research suggests that when we say negative things about other people’s bodies, our brains actually internalize this message and we direct the message to ourselves.\\n1-3. Be prepared for unwanted attention and negative stereotypes.\\nUnfortunately, our society and culture often make false assumptions that women with large busts are sexually promiscuous and unintelligent. You can prepare to deal with these situations in advance, and challenge these negative assumptions in the process.\\nMany women with large busts often receive unwanted male attention. Don't be afraid to be forceful if necessary and report inappropriate behavior to a teacher, supervisor, or the police. It's also not a bad idea for women to take a self-defense class and carry pepper spray.\\nRehearse your response to rude comments or sexual advances so you'll be ready even if taken by surprise.\\nSticking to conversation topics about class, business, and work helps send the message that you are smart and not merely a sexual object.\\nSome women have reported that talking about their mothers and grandmothers forces guys to see them more as daughters or sisters rather than sex objects. Hopefully, guys will adjust their behavior accordingly.\\nIf possible, remove yourself from the situation and avoid people who objectify your body and make you feel bad about yourself.\\n1-4. Provide self-affirmations when you have negative thoughts.\\nIf you have a negative or disparaging thought about your bust size, try to immediately replace it with a positive one. For example, if you have a moment where you feel that your bust is too large, think about how nice you look in a certain outfit or type of outfit.\\nWriting these positive affirmations down and leaving them on your mirror, in your wallet, or in your purse can help you feel more confident and comfortable with your body.\\n1-5. Ban images that make you feel bad about your bust.\\nThrough television, movies, magazines, video games, toys, articles, and online media we are inundated with images of idealized body types. It can be challenging not to compare your own body—especially bust size—to these images and feel that it is deficient in some way. Avoiding images that make you feel bad about yourself can help you accept your large bust.\\nIt’s unrealistic to think you can totally eliminate your exposure to these images, but minimizing your exposure will help you combat social pressures and prevent you from comparing your own bust size and body to these unnatural images.\\n1-6. Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself.\\nIf there’s someone in your life who makes negative comments about your large bust size or makes you feel negative about it, try talking to this person about how you feel. They may not realize their comments or attitude are hurtful.\\nIf you don’t feel comfortable talking with the person or they dismiss your concerns, it might be best to avoid being around these individuals. Instead, surround yourself with people who help you feel good about yourself and your body.\\n1-7. Try meditating.\\nMeditation can help you push away and eliminate negative thoughts, so the next time you are having a hard time accepting your large bust size, try to sit for 5 to 10 minutes, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. \\nTo accept your bust size and prevent negative thoughts from gaining too much power, say something positive about your body while you meditate such as “I love and accept my body.” Then take a deep breath, and repeat this as needed.\\n1-8. Remember that you are not alone.\\nMany women report that they have a hard time accepting their bust size and feeling good about their bodies. As a result, you shouldn’t feel isolated or alone.\\nConsider joining an online support network, forum, chat group, or social media group about body image or bust size so you can connect with women who are dealing with similar struggles. This will help you feel less alone, and is an excellent opportunity to learn and share tips for accepting your bust size and promoting a healthy body image.\\n1-9. Be patient.\\nImproving your body image and accepting your large bust size will likely not happen overnight. It’s a process that will be more effective if you are patient and understanding with yourself.\\nIf you continue to worry about your large bust size or other body-image issues, consider talking with a counselor. They will be able to offer support and help guide you toward self-acceptance.\\n2. Dressing to Flatter Your Body\\n2-1. Check your bra size and get properly fitted.\\nAn essential step in your journey to bust acceptance is to check your bra size and get properly fitted. Research indicates that many women mistakenly wear the wrong size bra, which can make you feel and look less comfortable, confident, and attractive.\\nYour bra size and needs also fluctuate as you get older, gain or lose weight, and have children. Asking an expert to determine your bra size will help ensure you get a bra that looks and makes your large bust feel great.\\nA professional bra fitter can also help address any specific concerns you might have about your bust, and find a style that suits your specific needs. For example, if you feel that your large bust size is causing back pain or discomfort, a bra fitter can select styles that resolve these problems and give you the support you need. If you would like to minimize cleavage, they can recommend a bra that will help accomplish this.\\nMost major department stores and lingerie stores offer free expert fittings. If you prefer to shop online, many online retailers offer resources and personalized bra-fitting tools and quizzes that can help you locate the appropriate bra for your bust.\\n2-2. Wear clothes that fit.\\nWhen clothes do not fit properly, you will not feel confident and the ill-fitting selection can draw negative attention to your large bust. Avoid clothes that are too tight or too baggy, so you can look your best and feel more comfortable with your large bust size.\\nMore clothing stores and designers are introducing styles specifically for women with large busts, so look for these options when you are clothes shopping.\\n2-3. Work with a tailor.\\nWomen with large busts often find it can be helpful to work with a good tailor who can alter clothes so that they accommodate and flatter large busts. Part of accepting your large bust might be admitting you need assistance with alterations since clothes are not always designed for women with larger bust sizes.\\n2-4. Shop at vintage stores.\\nIn past decades, our culture celebrated women with full busts and clothing designers catered toward this body type. As a result, you might have luck shopping for clothing that flatters large busts in a vintage store.\\nAs a bonus, you’ll have clothes that are more unique and interesting than the ones your peers are wearing.\\n2-5. Learn about styles that are flattering on full busts.\\nBefore your next shopping trip, do some online research on styles that are considered flattering on women with large busts. If you feel comfortable and attractive with what you are wearing, you will have a more positive attitude about your bust size. Here are a few options that style experts recommend:\\nOpen necklines such as scoop necks, V necks, sweethearts, or round necklines help elongate the torso and draw attention away from the bust.\\nAccessories such as a scarf, a pendant, or a larger necklace also elongate your torso and move the eyes away from the chest area.\\nLook for longer shirts because a large bust shortens the length of the top. Shorter shirts can appear too small or cropped.\\nWrap dresses and shirts generally accentuate cleavage and highlight the waist.\\n2-6. Minimize your chest by wearing dark colors.\\nIf you are uncomfortable with your large bust size and would like to draw less attention to your chest, try wearing dark colors. This will downplay your full bust.\\nLight colors will make your bust appear larger.\\n2-7. Choose tops that do not appear fussy.\\nIf you would prefer not to draw attention to your larger bust, avoid tops that have lots of embellishments, ruffles, trim, pockets, or large logos.\\nHorizontal stripes also tend to emphasize a larger bust.\\n2-8. Avoid tops that gap or pull.\\nWomen with a large bust often find that button-up shirts gape between the buttons or pull across the chest. Try on shirts when you are shopping or make sure you can return ones that don't fit well.\\nYou might also be able to secure the shirt with safety pins or fashion tape, so don't give up if you find one you really like. A tailor can also alter the shirt so it flatters your figure without gaping or pulling.\\n2-9. Pick styles and options that make you feel comfortable and confident.\\nWhile there are many theories and guidelines about how women with larger busts should dress, it is ultimately your decision and you should wear what you feel most comfortable and confident in. This will help you accept your large bust.\\n3. Reducing Bust Size\\n3-1. Do daily cardio exercise.\\nIf you are having a hard time accepting your large bust and want to explore non-surgical options to reduce your bust size, focus on doing daily cardio exercises for 45 to 60 minutes. This will help you lose body fat, and since breast tissue is composed mostly of body fat, you will likely notice a reduction in your bust size, and improved general health.\\nSince it can be uncomfortable for women with large busts to run and jog, try lower-impact cardio exercises such as walking, using an elliptical, or riding a bike.\\n3-2. Build and tone chest muscles.\\nBuilding and toning your chest muscles, especially the pectorals, may decrease your bust size and help improve your overall health. Here are a few exercises that will tone and tighten your chest muscles:\\nPush ups.\\nBarbell Bench Press.\\nDips.\\nEven if you do not notice a reduction in breast size, these exercises can help tone and strengthen your body, preventing the back pain and discomfort that often plagues women with larger busts.\\nIt’s a good idea to work with a personal trainer who can tailor a workout plan and recommend specific exercises to tone and tauten your chest.\\n3-3. Learn about breast reduction surgery.\\nIf you are unable to accept your large bust size or are experiencing health problems as a result of your bust size, conduct research on breast reduction surgery. This procedure, also known as reduction mammaplasty, removes excess tissue and skin from the breasts so they are reduced in size. \\nIf you are a teenager or young adult uncomfortable with their larger bust size, physicians usually recommend waiting on the surgery until your breasts are fully developed.\\nSome doctors also suggest waiting until you have had children or your family is complete since pregnancy leads to changes in breast tissue, which may impact the results of the surgery. Research suggests that breastfeeding after this surgery is also more difficult.\\nIf you are considering breast reduction surgery, meet with a board-certified plastic surgeon to discuss the procedure, learn about the cost, and decide if you think it would improve your health and body image.\\n3-4. Talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns.\\nBefore you decide that surgery is the best way to deal with a larger bust, talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns. If your large bust size is affecting your health or causing you discomfort, your doctor might have a way to address these issues and alleviate these problems.\\n3-5. Meet with a counselor.\\nIf you are struggling to accept your large bust, consider meeting with a counselor or mental health professional. They can provide support and advise you about how you can learn to accept your body.\\nWhile it is natural to feel unhappy about a certain aspect of your physical appearance, if these thoughts become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life, you may be experiencing body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). People with this condition tend to focus on or obsess over a perceived flaw in their physical appearance. A mental health professional will be able to diagnose and treat this condition.\\nTips\\nPositive self-affirmations and meditation can help you dispel negative thoughts about your bust size.\\nIf you are uncomfortable with your bust size, you can wear dark colors to downplay a larger bust.\\nA properly fitting bra can make you feel more comfortable, confident, and attractive, so consider going to a lingerie or department store for a personalized fitting.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many women are uncomfortable with specific aspects of their bodies, but a large bust presents particular challenges. In addition to potential health problems and discomfort, a large bust size can make you feel self-conscious. Unfortunately, women with a large bust may also receive a lot of unwanted and negative attention. If you are struggling to accept your large bust, you can work to improve your body image, dress in a way that flatters your figure, and explore options to reduce your bust size.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Body Image\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not let your bust size define you.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to remember that your bust size or any aspect of your physical appearance does not define who you are as a person. Instead of dwelling on your bust size or worrying about how others perceive your bust, consider the qualities and traits that make you unique and amazing.\\nTry not to emphasize physical appearance when you do this. Instead, consider your interesting personality and special character traits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stop making negative comments about bust size.\", \"描述\": \"Making negative comments about your bust size or other people’s bust size is a major obstacle in your quest to accept your bust size and improve your overall body image. Don’t allow yourself to talk or think negatively about your body and do not make negative comments about other people’s bodies.\\nConstantly making comments about your bust size can become a bad habit and even a fixation that will prevent you from accepting your large bust.\\nYou shouldn’t make negative comments about other people’s bodies because you wouldn’t want people to make those comments about yours. In addition, research suggests that when we say negative things about other people’s bodies, our brains actually internalize this message and we direct the message to ourselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for unwanted attention and negative stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, our society and culture often make false assumptions that women with large busts are sexually promiscuous and unintelligent. You can prepare to deal with these situations in advance, and challenge these negative assumptions in the process.\\nMany women with large busts often receive unwanted male attention. Don't be afraid to be forceful if necessary and report inappropriate behavior to a teacher, supervisor, or the police. It's also not a bad idea for women to take a self-defense class and carry pepper spray.\\nRehearse your response to rude comments or sexual advances so you'll be ready even if taken by surprise.\\nSticking to conversation topics about class, business, and work helps send the message that you are smart and not merely a sexual object.\\nSome women have reported that talking about their mothers and grandmothers forces guys to see them more as daughters or sisters rather than sex objects. Hopefully, guys will adjust their behavior accordingly.\\nIf possible, remove yourself from the situation and avoid people who objectify your body and make you feel bad about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide self-affirmations when you have negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a negative or disparaging thought about your bust size, try to immediately replace it with a positive one. For example, if you have a moment where you feel that your bust is too large, think about how nice you look in a certain outfit or type of outfit.\\nWriting these positive affirmations down and leaving them on your mirror, in your wallet, or in your purse can help you feel more confident and comfortable with your body.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ban images that make you feel bad about your bust.\", \"描述\": \"Through television, movies, magazines, video games, toys, articles, and online media we are inundated with images of idealized body types. It can be challenging not to compare your own body—especially bust size—to these images and feel that it is deficient in some way. Avoiding images that make you feel bad about yourself can help you accept your large bust.\\nIt’s unrealistic to think you can totally eliminate your exposure to these images, but minimizing your exposure will help you combat social pressures and prevent you from comparing your own bust size and body to these unnatural images.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If there’s someone in your life who makes negative comments about your large bust size or makes you feel negative about it, try talking to this person about how you feel. They may not realize their comments or attitude are hurtful.\\nIf you don’t feel comfortable talking with the person or they dismiss your concerns, it might be best to avoid being around these individuals. Instead, surround yourself with people who help you feel good about yourself and your body.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try meditating.\", \"描述\": \"Meditation can help you push away and eliminate negative thoughts, so the next time you are having a hard time accepting your large bust size, try to sit for 5 to 10 minutes, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. \\nTo accept your bust size and prevent negative thoughts from gaining too much power, say something positive about your body while you meditate such as “I love and accept my body.” Then take a deep breath, and repeat this as needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are not alone.\", \"描述\": \"Many women report that they have a hard time accepting their bust size and feeling good about their bodies. As a result, you shouldn’t feel isolated or alone.\\nConsider joining an online support network, forum, chat group, or social media group about body image or bust size so you can connect with women who are dealing with similar struggles. This will help you feel less alone, and is an excellent opportunity to learn and share tips for accepting your bust size and promoting a healthy body image.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Improving your body image and accepting your large bust size will likely not happen overnight. It’s a process that will be more effective if you are patient and understanding with yourself.\\nIf you continue to worry about your large bust size or other body-image issues, consider talking with a counselor. They will be able to offer support and help guide you toward self-acceptance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dressing to Flatter Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your bra size and get properly fitted.\", \"描述\": \"An essential step in your journey to bust acceptance is to check your bra size and get properly fitted. Research indicates that many women mistakenly wear the wrong size bra, which can make you feel and look less comfortable, confident, and attractive.\\nYour bra size and needs also fluctuate as you get older, gain or lose weight, and have children. Asking an expert to determine your bra size will help ensure you get a bra that looks and makes your large bust feel great.\\nA professional bra fitter can also help address any specific concerns you might have about your bust, and find a style that suits your specific needs. For example, if you feel that your large bust size is causing back pain or discomfort, a bra fitter can select styles that resolve these problems and give you the support you need. If you would like to minimize cleavage, they can recommend a bra that will help accomplish this.\\nMost major department stores and lingerie stores offer free expert fittings. If you prefer to shop online, many online retailers offer resources and personalized bra-fitting tools and quizzes that can help you locate the appropriate bra for your bust.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wear clothes that fit.\", \"描述\": \"When clothes do not fit properly, you will not feel confident and the ill-fitting selection can draw negative attention to your large bust. Avoid clothes that are too tight or too baggy, so you can look your best and feel more comfortable with your large bust size.\\nMore clothing stores and designers are introducing styles specifically for women with large busts, so look for these options when you are clothes shopping.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work with a tailor.\", \"描述\": \"Women with large busts often find it can be helpful to work with a good tailor who can alter clothes so that they accommodate and flatter large busts. Part of accepting your large bust might be admitting you need assistance with alterations since clothes are not always designed for women with larger bust sizes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Shop at vintage stores.\", \"描述\": \"In past decades, our culture celebrated women with full busts and clothing designers catered toward this body type. As a result, you might have luck shopping for clothing that flatters large busts in a vintage store.\\nAs a bonus, you’ll have clothes that are more unique and interesting than the ones your peers are wearing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn about styles that are flattering on full busts.\", \"描述\": \"Before your next shopping trip, do some online research on styles that are considered flattering on women with large busts. If you feel comfortable and attractive with what you are wearing, you will have a more positive attitude about your bust size. Here are a few options that style experts recommend:\\nOpen necklines such as scoop necks, V necks, sweethearts, or round necklines help elongate the torso and draw attention away from the bust.\\nAccessories such as a scarf, a pendant, or a larger necklace also elongate your torso and move the eyes away from the chest area.\\nLook for longer shirts because a large bust shortens the length of the top. Shorter shirts can appear too small or cropped.\\nWrap dresses and shirts generally accentuate cleavage and highlight the waist.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Minimize your chest by wearing dark colors.\", \"描述\": \"If you are uncomfortable with your large bust size and would like to draw less attention to your chest, try wearing dark colors. This will downplay your full bust.\\nLight colors will make your bust appear larger.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Choose tops that do not appear fussy.\", \"描述\": \"If you would prefer not to draw attention to your larger bust, avoid tops that have lots of embellishments, ruffles, trim, pockets, or large logos.\\nHorizontal stripes also tend to emphasize a larger bust.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid tops that gap or pull.\", \"描述\": \"Women with a large bust often find that button-up shirts gape between the buttons or pull across the chest. Try on shirts when you are shopping or make sure you can return ones that don't fit well.\\nYou might also be able to secure the shirt with safety pins or fashion tape, so don't give up if you find one you really like. A tailor can also alter the shirt so it flatters your figure without gaping or pulling.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Pick styles and options that make you feel comfortable and confident.\", \"描述\": \"While there are many theories and guidelines about how women with larger busts should dress, it is ultimately your decision and you should wear what you feel most comfortable and confident in. This will help you accept your large bust.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reducing Bust Size\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do daily cardio exercise.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having a hard time accepting your large bust and want to explore non-surgical options to reduce your bust size, focus on doing daily cardio exercises for 45 to 60 minutes. This will help you lose body fat, and since breast tissue is composed mostly of body fat, you will likely notice a reduction in your bust size, and improved general health.\\nSince it can be uncomfortable for women with large busts to run and jog, try lower-impact cardio exercises such as walking, using an elliptical, or riding a bike.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build and tone chest muscles.\", \"描述\": \"Building and toning your chest muscles, especially the pectorals, may decrease your bust size and help improve your overall health. Here are a few exercises that will tone and tighten your chest muscles:\\nPush ups.\\nBarbell Bench Press.\\nDips.\\nEven if you do not notice a reduction in breast size, these exercises can help tone and strengthen your body, preventing the back pain and discomfort that often plagues women with larger busts.\\nIt’s a good idea to work with a personal trainer who can tailor a workout plan and recommend specific exercises to tone and tauten your chest.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learn about breast reduction surgery.\", \"描述\": \"If you are unable to accept your large bust size or are experiencing health problems as a result of your bust size, conduct research on breast reduction surgery. This procedure, also known as reduction mammaplasty, removes excess tissue and skin from the breasts so they are reduced in size. \\nIf you are a teenager or young adult uncomfortable with their larger bust size, physicians usually recommend waiting on the surgery until your breasts are fully developed.\\nSome doctors also suggest waiting until you have had children or your family is complete since pregnancy leads to changes in breast tissue, which may impact the results of the surgery. Research suggests that breastfeeding after this surgery is also more difficult.\\nIf you are considering breast reduction surgery, meet with a board-certified plastic surgeon to discuss the procedure, learn about the cost, and decide if you think it would improve your health and body image.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns.\", \"描述\": \"Before you decide that surgery is the best way to deal with a larger bust, talk with your doctor or a medical professional about your concerns. If your large bust size is affecting your health or causing you discomfort, your doctor might have a way to address these issues and alleviate these problems.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Meet with a counselor.\", \"描述\": \"If you are struggling to accept your large bust, consider meeting with a counselor or mental health professional. They can provide support and advise you about how you can learn to accept your body.\\nWhile it is natural to feel unhappy about a certain aspect of your physical appearance, if these thoughts become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life, you may be experiencing body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). People with this condition tend to focus on or obsess over a perceived flaw in their physical appearance. A mental health professional will be able to diagnose and treat this condition.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Positive self-affirmations and meditation can help you dispel negative thoughts about your bust size.\\n\", \"If you are uncomfortable with your bust size, you can wear dark colors to downplay a larger bust.\\n\", \"A properly fitting bra can make you feel more comfortable, confident, and attractive, so consider going to a lingerie or department store for a personalized fitting.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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103 | How to Accept Honest Criticism from Your Partner | 1. Lowering Your Defenses
1-1. Remind yourself it's not a zero-sum game.
No one likes to be criticized. It can be very hard to hear how you've failed to meet your partner's expectations – you might feel unfairly blamed, misunderstood, or attacked. However, think about the reason you and your partner are communicating in the first place.
Keep in mind that your relationship shouldn't be a power-struggle. The fact that your partner has an honest criticism doesn't mean that you are “losing.”
Tell yourself, in the same way, that criticism isn't a zero-sum game. The point is to establish some give and take and hopefully improve your relationship.
1-2. Don't interrupt.
You'll never be able to accept honest criticism from a partner unless you start to lower your defenses, listen, and empathize. Give your partner the floor, for one thing. Don't interrupt to deny, refute, or turn back the criticism. This is a huge sign that you're being defensive.
Try this trick: count to ten every time that you are tempted to interrupt. There's a fair chance that once you're done the moment will have passed and your point won't matter anymore. Count higher if you still feel the urge, to twenty or thirty.
Stop yourself deliberately and apologize if you do interrupt. Cut yourself off, express regret for your rudeness, and let your partner resume.
1-3. Disarm other defensive tactics.
People have a whole arsenal of defensive tactics that they use to ignore or deflect criticism. Learn to recognize what these are, how you use them, and how to disarm them. Once you've done so, you'll be better able to listen and create an open dialogue for honest criticism.
Do you placate or outright deny, saying “Sure honey, whatever you say” or “No, I don’t do anything of the sort”? Or do you ignore the criticism or stonewall: “Well, that’s just how I am. Deal with it.” None of these tactics allow for an exchange of honest criticism.
Some defensive tactics are less obvious and rely on manipulation. They can include invalidation – “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? – as well as guilting, for instance, “Why are you being so cruel? What about how I feel?” Other tactics shift responsibility to the criticizer: “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be this way if you were nicer.”
Notice any other tactics you might use, like excuses or neutralizing the criticism – “I didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve taken it the wrong way.”
1-4. Pay attention to your non-verbal signals.
One big way that people communicate how they feel is through non-verbal signals like body language. Note how you're carrying yourself, not just what you're saying to your partner – this means body language, tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact, and how far away you're sitting.
Maintain eye contact with your partner. Looking away will make you seem standoffish, disinterested, or ashamed.
Try not to fold your arms, either, or to face away from your partner. This gives the impression that you're defensive and closed off.
Be aware of your facial expression and try to remain neutral. A raised eyebrow or pursed lips can signal judgment or disagreement to your partner.
Use a normal, steady, conversational tone of voice. Raising your voice signals that you are emotional and seeking to escalate the conversation.
1-5. Ask to postpone the conversation.
You may find that you can't lower your defenses to give your partner a fair hearing. If you're in a heightened emotional state, you might ask to excuse yourself and resume later. After all, neither of you will get much out of a defensive back and forth.
Say something politely to excuse yourself. For instance, “I’m really sorry Terry. I want to have this talk, but I’m not feeling up to it just now. Can we continue in an hour or two?”
Be sure to affirm the importance of the conversation, too, e.g. “I know this is important and something you want to say. I just don’t feel so calm right now. Let’s try later, OK?”
Take responsibility for initiating the conversation again once you've calmed down and approach your partner to let them know you are ready to continue.
Postponing the conversation does not mean avoiding it. In fact, chronic postponing can be another defensive tactic: “You’re going to bring that up again? I’m too busy to talk about it now.”
2. Listening to Criticism
2-1. Try not to take it personally
Yes, this is a big challenge. How can you avoid taking your partner's criticisms personally, especially when they care about you and your behavior? Think of it this way: your partner isn't criticizing to attack or belittle you but speaking out with love to improve your relationship. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Try to understand why you feel personally attacked. Is it because you feel like your partner is being unfair or exaggerating? Maybe you feel insecure or ashamed?
Try also to think about why your partner would raise criticisms. Your romantic partner is probably not trying to make you look bad or shame you, but just wants to reach you. Honest criticism is about communication, love, and growth.
2-2. Hold your tongue and listen.
There are oftentimes when you're being criticized that you want to snap back and explain yourself. Try to use self-control. Listen and, as said, don't interrupt. Interjecting every few seconds with “but…but” only makes it seem like you don't care and don't want to listen to what your partner says.
Hold your tongue if you have the urge to say “but…” If it helps, try actually biting down gently on your tongue or on your lower lip.
If you must say something, ask questions that make you express what your partner is saying instead, like “I just want to get this straight, you don’t think that I help around the house enough?” or “Do I understand correctly, you think we spend too much time with my parents?”
2-3. Ask for concrete examples.
You'll understand and digest your partner's honest criticism better if, instead of getting angry, you ask questions. Ask your partner to be more specific, to give examples, and to elaborate. This will help you to actually listen to the criticism and to show that you are interested in your partner's views.
Try saying something like, “What is it exactly that makes you feel I’m too emotionally distant, Alex?” or “Can you give me a specific example of when you felt I was being selfish?”
Keep in mind that you're asking questions to understand your partner's criticism. You're not asking so that you can turn the criticism around or nitpick. This is another defensive tactic you should try to disarm.
2-4. Resist the urge to counter-attack.
Accepting your partner's criticism will take honesty and openness. You won't get anywhere if your immediate reaction is to lash out and criticize back. This, too, is a defensive tactic and will only escalate the situation, leading to frustration.
Try not to give in to the temptation to attack your partner, e.g. “You don’t think I help out enough around here? I never see you cleaning the garage and yard!” or “You’re being unreasonable. You do lots of things that annoy me, too!”
Don't deflect the criticism by trying to justify or normalize it, either. For example: “I don’t see what the problem is. My friend Jen goes out drinking every night of the week.”
3. Empathizing with Your Partner
3-1. Listen to your partner's words.
Being able to accept honest criticism requires you to show empathy for your partner. This means to stand in your partner's shoes and try to see and feel things as he or she does, if only partially. To do this, try using the techniques of active listening as an aid.
First of all, focus your attention on what your partner is saying. You don't need to say or do anything. Just listen and allow your partner to talk.
Listening means just that – no talking for a while. You shouldn't try to interject your opinion. Instead, send verbal and non-verbal signals that you're listening by things like nodding, acknowledging important points, or by saying things like, “Mmmhmmm,” “Yes,” and “I see.”
3-2. Suspend judgment.
Empathy requires you to temporarily leave your own mental space and try to enter your partner's and suspend your own perspective and opinions. This is definitely a challenge. But, by doing it you'll be better able to focus on your partner's feelings and appreciate the honest criticism.
Suspending your judgment doesn't mean you have to accept your partner's viewpoint. You can decide to disagree. But, for now, it means you need to push away your own views, opinions, and reactions.
Empathizing with your partner involves affirmation, too. Don't disregard your partner's criticisms by insisting that they are wrong or not important, like by saying “Well, that just isn’t a big deal” or “Oh, get over it!”
Keep in mind that the point of listening isn't always to offer a solution, either. Your partner has an honest criticism. There may be a solution in the future, but the key thing now is to hear your partner out.
3-3. Repeat your partner's meaning.
Repeating what your partner says to you, in your own words, will help you to engage with the criticism actively. Stay respectful, for one. Then, restate and reformulate your partner's points to be sure that you've understood correctly.
Say that your partner makes a point in your discussion. Try to repeat back what you've heard in different words. For instance, “OK, what I hear is that you think I’m being a bit selfish. Is that correct?” or “What I think you to mean is that you’re frustrated by my emotional distance.”
You can add questions to expand the discussion, as well. For example, you might say, “What is it about my relationship with my mom that you find so frustrating?” This will help you both communicate further.
3-4. Affirm your partner.
Lastly, try to let your partner know that you have heard by signaling this verbally. Say that you've listened and understood the criticism and will give it serious thought. Even if you don't agree with what your partner has said, at least affirm that it is important. This way, you leave the door open for future discussions.
For example, you can say something along the lines of “I don’t necessarily agree, Tasha, but I respect your point of view.” Or, “Thank you for being honest with me, Juan. I’ll consider what you’ve said.”
Try to summarize your partner's viewpoint, along with your own so that you are on the same page. For example, “I see, so when I don’t change the toilet paper roll you feel like I’m being lazy and taking advantage, and to me, it’s just something I don’t think about doing and don’t see why it’s important. Does that sum it up?”
If you both agree on your positions, try to come up with a workable solution you can both stick to. For example, “Ok, I could see how my actions could come off as being lazy, how about I put up a reminder in the bathroom to put on a new roll when it gets low?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Lowering Your Defenses\\n1-1. Remind yourself it's not a zero-sum game.\\nNo one likes to be criticized. It can be very hard to hear how you've failed to meet your partner's expectations – you might feel unfairly blamed, misunderstood, or attacked. However, think about the reason you and your partner are communicating in the first place.\\nKeep in mind that your relationship shouldn't be a power-struggle. The fact that your partner has an honest criticism doesn't mean that you are “losing.”\\nTell yourself, in the same way, that criticism isn't a zero-sum game. The point is to establish some give and take and hopefully improve your relationship.\\n1-2. Don't interrupt.\\nYou'll never be able to accept honest criticism from a partner unless you start to lower your defenses, listen, and empathize. Give your partner the floor, for one thing. Don't interrupt to deny, refute, or turn back the criticism. This is a huge sign that you're being defensive.\\nTry this trick: count to ten every time that you are tempted to interrupt. There's a fair chance that once you're done the moment will have passed and your point won't matter anymore. Count higher if you still feel the urge, to twenty or thirty.\\nStop yourself deliberately and apologize if you do interrupt. Cut yourself off, express regret for your rudeness, and let your partner resume.\\n1-3. Disarm other defensive tactics.\\nPeople have a whole arsenal of defensive tactics that they use to ignore or deflect criticism. Learn to recognize what these are, how you use them, and how to disarm them. Once you've done so, you'll be better able to listen and create an open dialogue for honest criticism.\\nDo you placate or outright deny, saying “Sure honey, whatever you say” or “No, I don’t do anything of the sort”? Or do you ignore the criticism or stonewall: “Well, that’s just how I am. Deal with it.” None of these tactics allow for an exchange of honest criticism.\\nSome defensive tactics are less obvious and rely on manipulation. They can include invalidation – “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? – as well as guilting, for instance, “Why are you being so cruel? What about how I feel?” Other tactics shift responsibility to the criticizer: “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be this way if you were nicer.”\\nNotice any other tactics you might use, like excuses or neutralizing the criticism – “I didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve taken it the wrong way.”\\n1-4. Pay attention to your non-verbal signals.\\nOne big way that people communicate how they feel is through non-verbal signals like body language. Note how you're carrying yourself, not just what you're saying to your partner – this means body language, tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact, and how far away you're sitting.\\nMaintain eye contact with your partner. Looking away will make you seem standoffish, disinterested, or ashamed.\\nTry not to fold your arms, either, or to face away from your partner. This gives the impression that you're defensive and closed off.\\nBe aware of your facial expression and try to remain neutral. A raised eyebrow or pursed lips can signal judgment or disagreement to your partner.\\nUse a normal, steady, conversational tone of voice. Raising your voice signals that you are emotional and seeking to escalate the conversation.\\n1-5. Ask to postpone the conversation.\\nYou may find that you can't lower your defenses to give your partner a fair hearing. If you're in a heightened emotional state, you might ask to excuse yourself and resume later. After all, neither of you will get much out of a defensive back and forth.\\nSay something politely to excuse yourself. For instance, “I’m really sorry Terry. I want to have this talk, but I’m not feeling up to it just now. Can we continue in an hour or two?”\\nBe sure to affirm the importance of the conversation, too, e.g. “I know this is important and something you want to say. I just don’t feel so calm right now. Let’s try later, OK?”\\nTake responsibility for initiating the conversation again once you've calmed down and approach your partner to let them know you are ready to continue.\\nPostponing the conversation does not mean avoiding it. In fact, chronic postponing can be another defensive tactic: “You’re going to bring that up again? I’m too busy to talk about it now.”\\n2. Listening to Criticism\\n2-1. Try not to take it personally\\nYes, this is a big challenge. How can you avoid taking your partner's criticisms personally, especially when they care about you and your behavior? Think of it this way: your partner isn't criticizing to attack or belittle you but speaking out with love to improve your relationship. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.\\nTry to understand why you feel personally attacked. Is it because you feel like your partner is being unfair or exaggerating? Maybe you feel insecure or ashamed?\\nTry also to think about why your partner would raise criticisms. Your romantic partner is probably not trying to make you look bad or shame you, but just wants to reach you. Honest criticism is about communication, love, and growth.\\n2-2. Hold your tongue and listen.\\nThere are oftentimes when you're being criticized that you want to snap back and explain yourself. Try to use self-control. Listen and, as said, don't interrupt. Interjecting every few seconds with “but…but” only makes it seem like you don't care and don't want to listen to what your partner says.\\nHold your tongue if you have the urge to say “but…” If it helps, try actually biting down gently on your tongue or on your lower lip.\\nIf you must say something, ask questions that make you express what your partner is saying instead, like “I just want to get this straight, you don’t think that I help around the house enough?” or “Do I understand correctly, you think we spend too much time with my parents?”\\n2-3. Ask for concrete examples.\\nYou'll understand and digest your partner's honest criticism better if, instead of getting angry, you ask questions. Ask your partner to be more specific, to give examples, and to elaborate. This will help you to actually listen to the criticism and to show that you are interested in your partner's views.\\nTry saying something like, “What is it exactly that makes you feel I’m too emotionally distant, Alex?” or “Can you give me a specific example of when you felt I was being selfish?”\\nKeep in mind that you're asking questions to understand your partner's criticism. You're not asking so that you can turn the criticism around or nitpick. This is another defensive tactic you should try to disarm.\\n2-4. Resist the urge to counter-attack.\\nAccepting your partner's criticism will take honesty and openness. You won't get anywhere if your immediate reaction is to lash out and criticize back. This, too, is a defensive tactic and will only escalate the situation, leading to frustration.\\nTry not to give in to the temptation to attack your partner, e.g. “You don’t think I help out enough around here? I never see you cleaning the garage and yard!” or “You’re being unreasonable. You do lots of things that annoy me, too!”\\nDon't deflect the criticism by trying to justify or normalize it, either. For example: “I don’t see what the problem is. My friend Jen goes out drinking every night of the week.”\\n3. Empathizing with Your Partner\\n3-1. Listen to your partner's words.\\nBeing able to accept honest criticism requires you to show empathy for your partner. This means to stand in your partner's shoes and try to see and feel things as he or she does, if only partially. To do this, try using the techniques of active listening as an aid.\\nFirst of all, focus your attention on what your partner is saying. You don't need to say or do anything. Just listen and allow your partner to talk.\\nListening means just that – no talking for a while. You shouldn't try to interject your opinion. Instead, send verbal and non-verbal signals that you're listening by things like nodding, acknowledging important points, or by saying things like, “Mmmhmmm,” “Yes,” and “I see.”\\n3-2. Suspend judgment.\\nEmpathy requires you to temporarily leave your own mental space and try to enter your partner's and suspend your own perspective and opinions. This is definitely a challenge. But, by doing it you'll be better able to focus on your partner's feelings and appreciate the honest criticism.\\nSuspending your judgment doesn't mean you have to accept your partner's viewpoint. You can decide to disagree. But, for now, it means you need to push away your own views, opinions, and reactions.\\nEmpathizing with your partner involves affirmation, too. Don't disregard your partner's criticisms by insisting that they are wrong or not important, like by saying “Well, that just isn’t a big deal” or “Oh, get over it!”\\nKeep in mind that the point of listening isn't always to offer a solution, either. Your partner has an honest criticism. There may be a solution in the future, but the key thing now is to hear your partner out.\\n3-3. Repeat your partner's meaning.\\nRepeating what your partner says to you, in your own words, will help you to engage with the criticism actively. Stay respectful, for one. Then, restate and reformulate your partner's points to be sure that you've understood correctly.\\nSay that your partner makes a point in your discussion. Try to repeat back what you've heard in different words. For instance, “OK, what I hear is that you think I’m being a bit selfish. Is that correct?” or “What I think you to mean is that you’re frustrated by my emotional distance.”\\nYou can add questions to expand the discussion, as well. For example, you might say, “What is it about my relationship with my mom that you find so frustrating?” This will help you both communicate further.\\n3-4. Affirm your partner.\\nLastly, try to let your partner know that you have heard by signaling this verbally. Say that you've listened and understood the criticism and will give it serious thought. Even if you don't agree with what your partner has said, at least affirm that it is important. This way, you leave the door open for future discussions.\\nFor example, you can say something along the lines of “I don’t necessarily agree, Tasha, but I respect your point of view.” Or, “Thank you for being honest with me, Juan. I’ll consider what you’ve said.”\\nTry to summarize your partner's viewpoint, along with your own so that you are on the same page. For example, “I see, so when I don’t change the toilet paper roll you feel like I’m being lazy and taking advantage, and to me, it’s just something I don’t think about doing and don’t see why it’s important. Does that sum it up?”\\nIf you both agree on your positions, try to come up with a workable solution you can both stick to. For example, “Ok, I could see how my actions could come off as being lazy, how about I put up a reminder in the bathroom to put on a new roll when it gets low?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Criticism is hard to hear at any time. But it's especially tough when it comes from your partner, someone that you love and respect. To accept honest criticism from your partner, remember that the aim is not to tear you down but to build up your relationship together. To do this you'll need to lower your defenses, seriously listen to the criticism, and try to empathize.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lowering Your Defenses\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself it's not a zero-sum game.\", \"描述\": \"No one likes to be criticized. It can be very hard to hear how you've failed to meet your partner's expectations – you might feel unfairly blamed, misunderstood, or attacked. However, think about the reason you and your partner are communicating in the first place.\\nKeep in mind that your relationship shouldn't be a power-struggle. The fact that your partner has an honest criticism doesn't mean that you are “losing.”\\nTell yourself, in the same way, that criticism isn't a zero-sum game. The point is to establish some give and take and hopefully improve your relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't interrupt.\", \"描述\": \"You'll never be able to accept honest criticism from a partner unless you start to lower your defenses, listen, and empathize. Give your partner the floor, for one thing. Don't interrupt to deny, refute, or turn back the criticism. This is a huge sign that you're being defensive.\\nTry this trick: count to ten every time that you are tempted to interrupt. There's a fair chance that once you're done the moment will have passed and your point won't matter anymore. Count higher if you still feel the urge, to twenty or thirty.\\nStop yourself deliberately and apologize if you do interrupt. Cut yourself off, express regret for your rudeness, and let your partner resume.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Disarm other defensive tactics.\", \"描述\": \"People have a whole arsenal of defensive tactics that they use to ignore or deflect criticism. Learn to recognize what these are, how you use them, and how to disarm them. Once you've done so, you'll be better able to listen and create an open dialogue for honest criticism.\\nDo you placate or outright deny, saying “Sure honey, whatever you say” or “No, I don’t do anything of the sort”? Or do you ignore the criticism or stonewall: “Well, that’s just how I am. Deal with it.” None of these tactics allow for an exchange of honest criticism.\\nSome defensive tactics are less obvious and rely on manipulation. They can include invalidation – “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? – as well as guilting, for instance, “Why are you being so cruel? What about how I feel?” Other tactics shift responsibility to the criticizer: “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be this way if you were nicer.”\\nNotice any other tactics you might use, like excuses or neutralizing the criticism – “I didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve taken it the wrong way.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to your non-verbal signals.\", \"描述\": \"One big way that people communicate how they feel is through non-verbal signals like body language. Note how you're carrying yourself, not just what you're saying to your partner – this means body language, tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact, and how far away you're sitting.\\nMaintain eye contact with your partner. Looking away will make you seem standoffish, disinterested, or ashamed.\\nTry not to fold your arms, either, or to face away from your partner. This gives the impression that you're defensive and closed off.\\nBe aware of your facial expression and try to remain neutral. A raised eyebrow or pursed lips can signal judgment or disagreement to your partner.\\nUse a normal, steady, conversational tone of voice. Raising your voice signals that you are emotional and seeking to escalate the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask to postpone the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"You may find that you can't lower your defenses to give your partner a fair hearing. If you're in a heightened emotional state, you might ask to excuse yourself and resume later. After all, neither of you will get much out of a defensive back and forth.\\nSay something politely to excuse yourself. For instance, “I’m really sorry Terry. I want to have this talk, but I’m not feeling up to it just now. Can we continue in an hour or two?”\\nBe sure to affirm the importance of the conversation, too, e.g. “I know this is important and something you want to say. I just don’t feel so calm right now. Let’s try later, OK?”\\nTake responsibility for initiating the conversation again once you've calmed down and approach your partner to let them know you are ready to continue.\\nPostponing the conversation does not mean avoiding it. In fact, chronic postponing can be another defensive tactic: “You’re going to bring that up again? I’m too busy to talk about it now.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listening to Criticism\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to take it personally\", \"描述\": \"Yes, this is a big challenge. How can you avoid taking your partner's criticisms personally, especially when they care about you and your behavior? Think of it this way: your partner isn't criticizing to attack or belittle you but speaking out with love to improve your relationship. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.\\nTry to understand why you feel personally attacked. Is it because you feel like your partner is being unfair or exaggerating? Maybe you feel insecure or ashamed?\\nTry also to think about why your partner would raise criticisms. Your romantic partner is probably not trying to make you look bad or shame you, but just wants to reach you. Honest criticism is about communication, love, and growth.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hold your tongue and listen.\", \"描述\": \"There are oftentimes when you're being criticized that you want to snap back and explain yourself. Try to use self-control. Listen and, as said, don't interrupt. Interjecting every few seconds with “but…but” only makes it seem like you don't care and don't want to listen to what your partner says.\\nHold your tongue if you have the urge to say “but…” If it helps, try actually biting down gently on your tongue or on your lower lip.\\nIf you must say something, ask questions that make you express what your partner is saying instead, like “I just want to get this straight, you don’t think that I help around the house enough?” or “Do I understand correctly, you think we spend too much time with my parents?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for concrete examples.\", \"描述\": \"You'll understand and digest your partner's honest criticism better if, instead of getting angry, you ask questions. Ask your partner to be more specific, to give examples, and to elaborate. This will help you to actually listen to the criticism and to show that you are interested in your partner's views.\\nTry saying something like, “What is it exactly that makes you feel I’m too emotionally distant, Alex?” or “Can you give me a specific example of when you felt I was being selfish?”\\nKeep in mind that you're asking questions to understand your partner's criticism. You're not asking so that you can turn the criticism around or nitpick. This is another defensive tactic you should try to disarm.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Resist the urge to counter-attack.\", \"描述\": \"Accepting your partner's criticism will take honesty and openness. You won't get anywhere if your immediate reaction is to lash out and criticize back. This, too, is a defensive tactic and will only escalate the situation, leading to frustration.\\nTry not to give in to the temptation to attack your partner, e.g. “You don’t think I help out enough around here? I never see you cleaning the garage and yard!” or “You’re being unreasonable. You do lots of things that annoy me, too!”\\nDon't deflect the criticism by trying to justify or normalize it, either. For example: “I don’t see what the problem is. My friend Jen goes out drinking every night of the week.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Empathizing with Your Partner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your partner's words.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to accept honest criticism requires you to show empathy for your partner. This means to stand in your partner's shoes and try to see and feel things as he or she does, if only partially. To do this, try using the techniques of active listening as an aid.\\nFirst of all, focus your attention on what your partner is saying. You don't need to say or do anything. Just listen and allow your partner to talk.\\nListening means just that – no talking for a while. You shouldn't try to interject your opinion. Instead, send verbal and non-verbal signals that you're listening by things like nodding, acknowledging important points, or by saying things like, “Mmmhmmm,” “Yes,” and “I see.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suspend judgment.\", \"描述\": \"Empathy requires you to temporarily leave your own mental space and try to enter your partner's and suspend your own perspective and opinions. This is definitely a challenge. But, by doing it you'll be better able to focus on your partner's feelings and appreciate the honest criticism.\\nSuspending your judgment doesn't mean you have to accept your partner's viewpoint. You can decide to disagree. But, for now, it means you need to push away your own views, opinions, and reactions.\\nEmpathizing with your partner involves affirmation, too. Don't disregard your partner's criticisms by insisting that they are wrong or not important, like by saying “Well, that just isn’t a big deal” or “Oh, get over it!”\\nKeep in mind that the point of listening isn't always to offer a solution, either. Your partner has an honest criticism. There may be a solution in the future, but the key thing now is to hear your partner out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Repeat your partner's meaning.\", \"描述\": \"Repeating what your partner says to you, in your own words, will help you to engage with the criticism actively. Stay respectful, for one. Then, restate and reformulate your partner's points to be sure that you've understood correctly.\\nSay that your partner makes a point in your discussion. Try to repeat back what you've heard in different words. For instance, “OK, what I hear is that you think I’m being a bit selfish. Is that correct?” or “What I think you to mean is that you’re frustrated by my emotional distance.”\\nYou can add questions to expand the discussion, as well. For example, you might say, “What is it about my relationship with my mom that you find so frustrating?” This will help you both communicate further.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Affirm your partner.\", \"描述\": \"Lastly, try to let your partner know that you have heard by signaling this verbally. Say that you've listened and understood the criticism and will give it serious thought. Even if you don't agree with what your partner has said, at least affirm that it is important. This way, you leave the door open for future discussions.\\nFor example, you can say something along the lines of “I don’t necessarily agree, Tasha, but I respect your point of view.” Or, “Thank you for being honest with me, Juan. I’ll consider what you’ve said.”\\nTry to summarize your partner's viewpoint, along with your own so that you are on the same page. For example, “I see, so when I don’t change the toilet paper roll you feel like I’m being lazy and taking advantage, and to me, it’s just something I don’t think about doing and don’t see why it’s important. Does that sum it up?”\\nIf you both agree on your positions, try to come up with a workable solution you can both stick to. For example, “Ok, I could see how my actions could come off as being lazy, how about I put up a reminder in the bathroom to put on a new roll when it gets low?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
104 | How to Accept Islam | 1. Converting to Islam
1-1. Speak with an Imam.
An Imam is a Muslim religious scholar. They lead prayers in mosques and they will have studied the Quran in great depth. You can talk to them about accepting Islam, and ask any questions you have about becoming a Muslim. They can be found at a mosque in your neighborhood or you could ask a Muslim friend to introduce you to their Imam.
Ask about any aspect of Islam that you are curious or doubtful about.
If you are interested, ask to be referred to Muslim people with whom you have other things in common. You might benefit from speaking to Muslims of your age, gender, or cultural background.
1-2. Question your faith.
If your research and your conversations have made you confident that you understand what it means to be Muslim, you may be ready to recite the Shahada and officially become one. However, you must first be certain that you believe in Allah and the word of the Quran. Spend time alone with the question until you have a strong feeling of certainty:
Ask yourself: Do I believe there is no God but Allah? Do I believe in the angels? Do I believe in the holy books? Do I believe in the prophets? Do I believe in the Day of Judgement and the reality of heaven and hell? Do I believe in pre-destination?
Also ask yourself, am I prepared to fully submit to Allah, to obey His laws (the Shariah) and to dedicate my life to His worship in preparation for the next life? Am I prepared to strive to give up things that are forbidden by the Shariah, such as drinking alcohol, backbiting, free-mixing with the opposite gender and all sexual activity outside marriage?
Pray, asking Allah in your own words to answer any questions you are left with and to remove any doubts you may have.
Take a long walk and contemplate the decision you are about to make - accepting Islam is a huge commitment from which there is no turning back.
If you feel certain that you believe in the six main beliefs of Islam, then make your testimony of faith (Shahada) as soon as you can. If you delay and something tragic happens to you, then you would face the same fate as all non-believers.
If you are left with doubts, do further research and by all means explore other approaches to spirituality, but heed the warnings in the Quran to those who reject Islam or disobey Allah. You may find yourself moved to make Shahada later.
1-3. Clean yourself
Ghusl is a ritual purification Muslims undergo when taking Shahada. To perform Ghusl, take a shower or use any source of fresh water. Wash your genitals first, then your whole body. The exact way you perform Ghusl will depend on whether you are following Sunni or a Shia tradition, so consult with the Imam you have been in touch with.
There are different schools of thought as to when a new convert must perform Ghusl. Some believe it should happen before you recite the Shahada, others say after. Some say it doesn't matter, while others say it is only necessary if you are in a state of impurity from sexual activity.
To determine what is correct in your case, talk to your Imam.
1-4. Recite the Shahada.
To become a Muslim, you must make the testimony of faith. Once you have said the Shahada you are committed to Islam for life. You may say the Shahada alone, as it is a testimony to Allah who sees all things. However, to be recognized by other Muslims, it is wise to say it in front of witnesses, preferably including an Imam from the mosque you wish to join.
The words of the Shahada are "La ilaha illallah, Muhammad rasulullah," which means "There is no true god but Allah, and Muhammad is His prophet."
In this way, you pledge yourself to serve Allah and to follow the teachings of the Quran for life.
You are pledging to worship the Creator, and not His creation. Neither other faiths nor worship of earthly things must interfere with your love of Allah.
You must fully understand the Shahada and mean it sincerely in order for it to be binding.
It must be your own free choice to take the Shahada, not made under any coercion or compulsion.
Pronounce the words correctly. You may choose to repeat after another Muslim, or you may find a recording. here.
If you have children that have not yet reached puberty, then they will automatically become Muslims if you convert and should be informed of their new status and raised in accordance with the teachings of Islam. If they have already reached puberty, then they should be encouraged to take the Shahada to confirm their acceptance of Islam and submission to the will of Allah.
1-5. Consider taking a Muslim name.
It is not obligatory but it is a highly recommended option and will help you develop your new identity. You may simply take on your new name in addition to your given name, or change your name to your Muslim name. Keep your surname as it is, or change it to "bin" (if you are male) or "bint" (if you are female) followed by the name of your father.
That is, if your father is Richard Archer, you might change your name to "Fatemah bint Archer" or "Fatemah bint Richard Archer."
If your pre-conversion name is that of a tyrant or that bespeaks worship of another deity, strongly consider changing your name.
Choose beautiful Muslim names for any children you may have and explain to them why they must use their new name in future.
1-6. Think about circumcision if you are male, as it is recommended in Islam.
Some males who are not circumcised become so after converting, partly because it provides an opportunity to show commitment to Islam and to feel part of the Muslim community of brothers. Take your time making this decision, and consult an Imam and other Muslims you trust if you are having doubts.
If you have sons, they can be circumcised too, in accordance with Islamic tradition. Teach them that circumcision is a gift that Allah has prescribed for them because it is good for their health and well being. At the same time, consider allowing them to make this highly personal decision for themselves when they grow older and support their decision regardless of whether or not you agree with it.
2. Living as a Muslim
2-1. Pray five times a day
Understand that the five obligatory daily prayers are central to the life of every Muslim. Pray at dawn, after it strikes noon, in the mid-afternoon, at sunset, and at night. The exact times will depend on the season, as worship is timed according to the sun's position.
Pray at your mosque when possible if you are male. Females can pray at home if they wish, in a clean corner of the home, dedicated for prayer.
Learn about the essential elements of the prayer and what invalidates the prayer.
New Muslim children over the age of seven should be taught and encouraged to pray as a priority. Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) teaches that those over the age of ten should be disciplined if they show any reluctance to learn and perform this primary duty.
Learn about the recommended optional prayers and add some into your daily routine, as they bring great reward.
Make dua (supplication) throughout each day. Praise and thank Allah, and ask in your own words for help, support and guidance.
Always acknowledge every sin, however seemingly small, and ask for forgiveness. Remember that although Allah is inclined towards forgiveness, He is aware of every disobedience, so our natural mindset should be a state of combined hope (of His mercy) and fear (of His punishment).
Try to remain mindful of Allah throughout the day. Make dhikr whenever you have quiet moments.
Striving to please Allah should be at the forefront of your mind with every choice you make.
2-2. Observe Ramadan
Ramadan is a holy month. Observe it by praying, fasting, and performing acts of charity. So long as you are physically able, you are required to fast during Ramadan.
Fasting means abstaining from sunrise to sundown from all food and drink, as well as sexual activity.
Exceptions are made for children that have not reached puberty (though they should be encouraged to complete mini-fasts), the ill, and people who are menstruating or experiencing postpartum bleeding.
Many Muslims fast regularly outside of Ramadhan in order to remind themselves of Allah's bounties and as a protection from sin.
Self-discipline lies at the core of Islam. A good Muslim is aware that Allah is always watching and the many rules of Islam must be obeyed both in private and in public.
2-3. Donate to charity.
As a Muslim, you are required by the Quran to donate 2.5% of your earnings to the poor. This is called Zakat. If you are well-off, consider donating a higher percentage of your income.
Choose your charity wisely. Make sure it is handled well, so that it directly benefits the poor. There are many Muslim charities that ensure that our Zakat reaches those most deserving.
Some charities exist primarily to spread the message of Islam, to encourage non-Muslims to convert and born Muslims to observe the religion more closely.
2-4. Make a pilgrimage to Mecca
If you are physically and financially able, you must travel to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia at least once in your lifetime. Prepare spiritually before making this trip, as it is a momentous occasion.
Go during the period of Hajj, between the 8th to the 12th of Dhu al-Hijjah. This is the final month of the Islamic calendar, and changes yearly based on the moon.
2-5. Study the Quran.
Read the Quran every day as much as you are able. You may read by yourself or with other Muslims. Consider taking a class on Islamic scripture at a mosque or an Islamic Center.
Memorize some of your favorite surahs and recite them during your prayers (salah). Try to make sure you learn to recite the Quran with the correct pronunciation.
Learn the meaning of the words of the Quran and try to incorporate its lessons in your daily life.
Learn about the habits and practices of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him), known as the Sunnah, and try and incorporate these into your life, for example the adhkar that he would recite.
The children of reverts should attend weekday evening and/or weekend madrassa to learn Quran, the basics of the Shariah and the history of Islam. It will also help them become accustomed to Muslim behavioral standards and to worship and study with other Muslim children in a single-gender environment.
Remember that seeking authentic knowledge about Islam is incumbent upon every Muslim from childhood until death.
2-6. Strengthen your faith.
Live with the intention of glorifying Allah in all your actions. Seek to uphold the faith of your fellow Muslims. Contribute to your community's efforts at fard al-kifaya, and contribute to charity efforts. Get involved at your local Islamic Center, mosque, or Muslim Student Group if you are a student.
Assert your Muslim identity by dressing with modesty, order, and elegance in accordance with Islamic tradition. Following the dress code is a very important as it identifies the Muslims and helps build a sense of belonging within the Muslim community.
Women are required to cover themselves with plain, loose clothing, with the exception of their face and hands. Many also choose to follow the practice of covering the face as an additional act of worship, as this was the practice of the female companions of the early prophets.
Children should be required to adopt the Islamic dress code. Girls should be accustomed to hijab well before the onset of puberty. Any reluctance should be treated with sensitivity and encouragement, but also firmness if necessary.
Study and respect the Islamic limits on gender interaction, which may be very different from what you and your children are used to. For example, it is forbidden in Islam to informally chat with or stare at the opposite gender.
Children should be taught the rules of gender interaction from an early age, so that they are ingrained well before puberty. For example boys should only be allowed to play with boys and girls with girls, and any infraction such as chit-chatting should be corrected.
3. Rejecting Islamophobia as a Non-Muslim
3-1. Recognize that Islam is not violent
If you are struggling with negative feelings towards Islam, this may be because it is depicted as an inherently violent religion by non-Muslims. In fact, Islam is as much about peace as any other Abrahamic religion.
Muslims disapprove of violence. They do not consider violent jihadists "extremists," but rather "deviants" from Islam, which preaches peace and kindness.
Although some aspects of the Shariah may seem quite strict, for example the physical penalties prescribed for certain sins, these are intended to be rarely-used deterrents to drive people towards the obedience of Allah and ensure a safe and fair society.
Right-wing extremists, white supremacists in particular, have killed more people in the United States than have Muslims.
Recognize that most mass shootings in the United States are by white Christian men.
3-2. Take regular classes.
Look for mosques and Islamic centers in your area that offer classes on Islam for non-Muslims and new Muslims. Consider joining an inter-faith meetup group. Learn about the religion and get to know real Muslims. You will be able to ask questions and get answers in a non-judgmental classroom environment.
Many mosques hold weekly single-gender study circles, which non-Muslims are welcome to attend to meet Muslims and familiarize themselves with Islam.
If there is no class available in your area, consider taking a free class online, such as: https://www.mooc-list.com/course/islam-through-its-scriptures-edx or if possible move to a Muslim-majority locality.
When you do convert, remember that studying Islam is both rewarding and a life-long obligation, so every Muslim adult and child should dedicate some time each day to increase their knowledge of Islam, in particular how Allah wishes to be worshiped.
Learn about the importance in Islam of marriage, which has been described as "half our religion". There is no shame in having sexual desires, but these must only be used as a motivator towards getting married and having children, which are the source of great reward in Islam. Some revert sisters choose polygamous marriages, as this was a practice of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) and is seen as praiseworthy in Islam.
3-3. Treat Muslims with respect
Treat Muslim people with the respect and warmth you would extend to anyone. Never make jokes about someone's religion, clothing, or attitude of prayer. Do not blame a Muslim person for the acts of another Muslim, and never assume that one member of a religion holds exactly the same beliefs as another.
If you are friends with Muslim people, consider asking if they would be willing to sit down and chat about your respective religions some time.
Some people might feel invaded if you ask them questions about their personal faith, though Muslims are expected to be open and willing to share religious knowledge and encourage non-Muslims to find out about Islam. It is best to discuss religion with people you know well, and who say they are happy to talk with you.
After you convert, any children you have should be encouraged to form close friendships with other practicing Muslim children who will be a good influence on them. Be wary of allowing past friendships with the children of non-believers to continue, as these may become the source of doubts or discouragement.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:22",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Converting to Islam\\n1-1. Speak with an Imam.\\nAn Imam is a Muslim religious scholar. They lead prayers in mosques and they will have studied the Quran in great depth. You can talk to them about accepting Islam, and ask any questions you have about becoming a Muslim. They can be found at a mosque in your neighborhood or you could ask a Muslim friend to introduce you to their Imam.\\nAsk about any aspect of Islam that you are curious or doubtful about.\\nIf you are interested, ask to be referred to Muslim people with whom you have other things in common. You might benefit from speaking to Muslims of your age, gender, or cultural background.\\n1-2. Question your faith.\\nIf your research and your conversations have made you confident that you understand what it means to be Muslim, you may be ready to recite the Shahada and officially become one. However, you must first be certain that you believe in Allah and the word of the Quran. Spend time alone with the question until you have a strong feeling of certainty:\\nAsk yourself: Do I believe there is no God but Allah? Do I believe in the angels? Do I believe in the holy books? Do I believe in the prophets? Do I believe in the Day of Judgement and the reality of heaven and hell? Do I believe in pre-destination?\\nAlso ask yourself, am I prepared to fully submit to Allah, to obey His laws (the Shariah) and to dedicate my life to His worship in preparation for the next life? Am I prepared to strive to give up things that are forbidden by the Shariah, such as drinking alcohol, backbiting, free-mixing with the opposite gender and all sexual activity outside marriage?\\nPray, asking Allah in your own words to answer any questions you are left with and to remove any doubts you may have.\\nTake a long walk and contemplate the decision you are about to make - accepting Islam is a huge commitment from which there is no turning back.\\nIf you feel certain that you believe in the six main beliefs of Islam, then make your testimony of faith (Shahada) as soon as you can. If you delay and something tragic happens to you, then you would face the same fate as all non-believers.\\nIf you are left with doubts, do further research and by all means explore other approaches to spirituality, but heed the warnings in the Quran to those who reject Islam or disobey Allah. You may find yourself moved to make Shahada later.\\n1-3. Clean yourself\\nGhusl is a ritual purification Muslims undergo when taking Shahada. To perform Ghusl, take a shower or use any source of fresh water. Wash your genitals first, then your whole body. The exact way you perform Ghusl will depend on whether you are following Sunni or a Shia tradition, so consult with the Imam you have been in touch with.\\nThere are different schools of thought as to when a new convert must perform Ghusl. Some believe it should happen before you recite the Shahada, others say after. Some say it doesn't matter, while others say it is only necessary if you are in a state of impurity from sexual activity.\\nTo determine what is correct in your case, talk to your Imam.\\n1-4. Recite the Shahada.\\nTo become a Muslim, you must make the testimony of faith. Once you have said the Shahada you are committed to Islam for life. You may say the Shahada alone, as it is a testimony to Allah who sees all things. However, to be recognized by other Muslims, it is wise to say it in front of witnesses, preferably including an Imam from the mosque you wish to join.\\nThe words of the Shahada are \\\"La ilaha illallah, Muhammad rasulullah,\\\" which means \\\"There is no true god but Allah, and Muhammad is His prophet.\\\"\\nIn this way, you pledge yourself to serve Allah and to follow the teachings of the Quran for life.\\nYou are pledging to worship the Creator, and not His creation. Neither other faiths nor worship of earthly things must interfere with your love of Allah.\\nYou must fully understand the Shahada and mean it sincerely in order for it to be binding.\\nIt must be your own free choice to take the Shahada, not made under any coercion or compulsion.\\nPronounce the words correctly. You may choose to repeat after another Muslim, or you may find a recording. here.\\nIf you have children that have not yet reached puberty, then they will automatically become Muslims if you convert and should be informed of their new status and raised in accordance with the teachings of Islam. If they have already reached puberty, then they should be encouraged to take the Shahada to confirm their acceptance of Islam and submission to the will of Allah.\\n1-5. Consider taking a Muslim name.\\nIt is not obligatory but it is a highly recommended option and will help you develop your new identity. You may simply take on your new name in addition to your given name, or change your name to your Muslim name. Keep your surname as it is, or change it to \\\"bin\\\" (if you are male) or \\\"bint\\\" (if you are female) followed by the name of your father.\\nThat is, if your father is Richard Archer, you might change your name to \\\"Fatemah bint Archer\\\" or \\\"Fatemah bint Richard Archer.\\\"\\nIf your pre-conversion name is that of a tyrant or that bespeaks worship of another deity, strongly consider changing your name.\\nChoose beautiful Muslim names for any children you may have and explain to them why they must use their new name in future.\\n1-6. Think about circumcision if you are male, as it is recommended in Islam.\\nSome males who are not circumcised become so after converting, partly because it provides an opportunity to show commitment to Islam and to feel part of the Muslim community of brothers. Take your time making this decision, and consult an Imam and other Muslims you trust if you are having doubts.\\nIf you have sons, they can be circumcised too, in accordance with Islamic tradition. Teach them that circumcision is a gift that Allah has prescribed for them because it is good for their health and well being. At the same time, consider allowing them to make this highly personal decision for themselves when they grow older and support their decision regardless of whether or not you agree with it.\\n2. Living as a Muslim\\n2-1. Pray five times a day\\nUnderstand that the five obligatory daily prayers are central to the life of every Muslim. Pray at dawn, after it strikes noon, in the mid-afternoon, at sunset, and at night. The exact times will depend on the season, as worship is timed according to the sun's position.\\nPray at your mosque when possible if you are male. Females can pray at home if they wish, in a clean corner of the home, dedicated for prayer.\\nLearn about the essential elements of the prayer and what invalidates the prayer.\\nNew Muslim children over the age of seven should be taught and encouraged to pray as a priority. Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) teaches that those over the age of ten should be disciplined if they show any reluctance to learn and perform this primary duty.\\nLearn about the recommended optional prayers and add some into your daily routine, as they bring great reward.\\nMake dua (supplication) throughout each day. Praise and thank Allah, and ask in your own words for help, support and guidance.\\nAlways acknowledge every sin, however seemingly small, and ask for forgiveness. Remember that although Allah is inclined towards forgiveness, He is aware of every disobedience, so our natural mindset should be a state of combined hope (of His mercy) and fear (of His punishment).\\nTry to remain mindful of Allah throughout the day. Make dhikr whenever you have quiet moments.\\nStriving to please Allah should be at the forefront of your mind with every choice you make.\\n2-2. Observe Ramadan\\nRamadan is a holy month. Observe it by praying, fasting, and performing acts of charity. So long as you are physically able, you are required to fast during Ramadan.\\nFasting means abstaining from sunrise to sundown from all food and drink, as well as sexual activity.\\nExceptions are made for children that have not reached puberty (though they should be encouraged to complete mini-fasts), the ill, and people who are menstruating or experiencing postpartum bleeding.\\nMany Muslims fast regularly outside of Ramadhan in order to remind themselves of Allah's bounties and as a protection from sin.\\nSelf-discipline lies at the core of Islam. A good Muslim is aware that Allah is always watching and the many rules of Islam must be obeyed both in private and in public.\\n2-3. Donate to charity.\\nAs a Muslim, you are required by the Quran to donate 2.5% of your earnings to the poor. This is called Zakat. If you are well-off, consider donating a higher percentage of your income.\\nChoose your charity wisely. Make sure it is handled well, so that it directly benefits the poor. There are many Muslim charities that ensure that our Zakat reaches those most deserving.\\nSome charities exist primarily to spread the message of Islam, to encourage non-Muslims to convert and born Muslims to observe the religion more closely.\\n2-4. Make a pilgrimage to Mecca\\nIf you are physically and financially able, you must travel to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia at least once in your lifetime. Prepare spiritually before making this trip, as it is a momentous occasion.\\nGo during the period of Hajj, between the 8th to the 12th of Dhu al-Hijjah. This is the final month of the Islamic calendar, and changes yearly based on the moon.\\n2-5. Study the Quran.\\nRead the Quran every day as much as you are able. You may read by yourself or with other Muslims. Consider taking a class on Islamic scripture at a mosque or an Islamic Center.\\nMemorize some of your favorite surahs and recite them during your prayers (salah). Try to make sure you learn to recite the Quran with the correct pronunciation.\\nLearn the meaning of the words of the Quran and try to incorporate its lessons in your daily life.\\nLearn about the habits and practices of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him), known as the Sunnah, and try and incorporate these into your life, for example the adhkar that he would recite.\\nThe children of reverts should attend weekday evening and/or weekend madrassa to learn Quran, the basics of the Shariah and the history of Islam. It will also help them become accustomed to Muslim behavioral standards and to worship and study with other Muslim children in a single-gender environment.\\nRemember that seeking authentic knowledge about Islam is incumbent upon every Muslim from childhood until death.\\n2-6. Strengthen your faith.\\nLive with the intention of glorifying Allah in all your actions. Seek to uphold the faith of your fellow Muslims. Contribute to your community's efforts at fard al-kifaya, and contribute to charity efforts. Get involved at your local Islamic Center, mosque, or Muslim Student Group if you are a student.\\nAssert your Muslim identity by dressing with modesty, order, and elegance in accordance with Islamic tradition. Following the dress code is a very important as it identifies the Muslims and helps build a sense of belonging within the Muslim community.\\nWomen are required to cover themselves with plain, loose clothing, with the exception of their face and hands. Many also choose to follow the practice of covering the face as an additional act of worship, as this was the practice of the female companions of the early prophets.\\nChildren should be required to adopt the Islamic dress code. Girls should be accustomed to hijab well before the onset of puberty. Any reluctance should be treated with sensitivity and encouragement, but also firmness if necessary.\\nStudy and respect the Islamic limits on gender interaction, which may be very different from what you and your children are used to. For example, it is forbidden in Islam to informally chat with or stare at the opposite gender.\\nChildren should be taught the rules of gender interaction from an early age, so that they are ingrained well before puberty. For example boys should only be allowed to play with boys and girls with girls, and any infraction such as chit-chatting should be corrected.\\n3. Rejecting Islamophobia as a Non-Muslim\\n3-1. Recognize that Islam is not violent\\nIf you are struggling with negative feelings towards Islam, this may be because it is depicted as an inherently violent religion by non-Muslims. In fact, Islam is as much about peace as any other Abrahamic religion.\\nMuslims disapprove of violence. They do not consider violent jihadists \\\"extremists,\\\" but rather \\\"deviants\\\" from Islam, which preaches peace and kindness.\\nAlthough some aspects of the Shariah may seem quite strict, for example the physical penalties prescribed for certain sins, these are intended to be rarely-used deterrents to drive people towards the obedience of Allah and ensure a safe and fair society.\\nRight-wing extremists, white supremacists in particular, have killed more people in the United States than have Muslims.\\nRecognize that most mass shootings in the United States are by white Christian men.\\n3-2. Take regular classes.\\nLook for mosques and Islamic centers in your area that offer classes on Islam for non-Muslims and new Muslims. Consider joining an inter-faith meetup group. Learn about the religion and get to know real Muslims. You will be able to ask questions and get answers in a non-judgmental classroom environment.\\nMany mosques hold weekly single-gender study circles, which non-Muslims are welcome to attend to meet Muslims and familiarize themselves with Islam.\\nIf there is no class available in your area, consider taking a free class online, such as: https://www.mooc-list.com/course/islam-through-its-scriptures-edx or if possible move to a Muslim-majority locality.\\nWhen you do convert, remember that studying Islam is both rewarding and a life-long obligation, so every Muslim adult and child should dedicate some time each day to increase their knowledge of Islam, in particular how Allah wishes to be worshiped.\\nLearn about the importance in Islam of marriage, which has been described as \\\"half our religion\\\". There is no shame in having sexual desires, but these must only be used as a motivator towards getting married and having children, which are the source of great reward in Islam. Some revert sisters choose polygamous marriages, as this was a practice of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) and is seen as praiseworthy in Islam.\\n3-3. Treat Muslims with respect\\nTreat Muslim people with the respect and warmth you would extend to anyone. Never make jokes about someone's religion, clothing, or attitude of prayer. Do not blame a Muslim person for the acts of another Muslim, and never assume that one member of a religion holds exactly the same beliefs as another.\\nIf you are friends with Muslim people, consider asking if they would be willing to sit down and chat about your respective religions some time.\\nSome people might feel invaded if you ask them questions about their personal faith, though Muslims are expected to be open and willing to share religious knowledge and encourage non-Muslims to find out about Islam. It is best to discuss religion with people you know well, and who say they are happy to talk with you.\\nAfter you convert, any children you have should be encouraged to form close friendships with other practicing Muslim children who will be a good influence on them. Be wary of allowing past friendships with the children of non-believers to continue, as these may become the source of doubts or discouragement.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Before accepting Islam, first learn about the faith and how it is practiced. Look into your heart and examine your beliefs. Don't be afraid to ask hard questions: you will learn from confronting any doubts you may have. Whether you are ready to become a Muslim or merely open to learning more about Islam, it will help to educate yourself on Islamic scriptures, visit mosques, and speak to Muslim people.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Converting to Islam\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak with an Imam.\", \"描述\": \"An Imam is a Muslim religious scholar. They lead prayers in mosques and they will have studied the Quran in great depth. You can talk to them about accepting Islam, and ask any questions you have about becoming a Muslim. They can be found at a mosque in your neighborhood or you could ask a Muslim friend to introduce you to their Imam.\\nAsk about any aspect of Islam that you are curious or doubtful about.\\nIf you are interested, ask to be referred to Muslim people with whom you have other things in common. You might benefit from speaking to Muslims of your age, gender, or cultural background.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Question your faith.\", \"描述\": \"If your research and your conversations have made you confident that you understand what it means to be Muslim, you may be ready to recite the Shahada and officially become one. However, you must first be certain that you believe in Allah and the word of the Quran. Spend time alone with the question until you have a strong feeling of certainty:\\nAsk yourself: Do I believe there is no God but Allah? Do I believe in the angels? Do I believe in the holy books? Do I believe in the prophets? Do I believe in the Day of Judgement and the reality of heaven and hell? Do I believe in pre-destination?\\nAlso ask yourself, am I prepared to fully submit to Allah, to obey His laws (the Shariah) and to dedicate my life to His worship in preparation for the next life? Am I prepared to strive to give up things that are forbidden by the Shariah, such as drinking alcohol, backbiting, free-mixing with the opposite gender and all sexual activity outside marriage?\\nPray, asking Allah in your own words to answer any questions you are left with and to remove any doubts you may have.\\nTake a long walk and contemplate the decision you are about to make - accepting Islam is a huge commitment from which there is no turning back.\\nIf you feel certain that you believe in the six main beliefs of Islam, then make your testimony of faith (Shahada) as soon as you can. If you delay and something tragic happens to you, then you would face the same fate as all non-believers.\\nIf you are left with doubts, do further research and by all means explore other approaches to spirituality, but heed the warnings in the Quran to those who reject Islam or disobey Allah. You may find yourself moved to make Shahada later.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean yourself\", \"描述\": \"Ghusl is a ritual purification Muslims undergo when taking Shahada. To perform Ghusl, take a shower or use any source of fresh water. Wash your genitals first, then your whole body. The exact way you perform Ghusl will depend on whether you are following Sunni or a Shia tradition, so consult with the Imam you have been in touch with.\\nThere are different schools of thought as to when a new convert must perform Ghusl. Some believe it should happen before you recite the Shahada, others say after. Some say it doesn't matter, while others say it is only necessary if you are in a state of impurity from sexual activity.\\nTo determine what is correct in your case, talk to your Imam.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recite the Shahada.\", \"描述\": \"To become a Muslim, you must make the testimony of faith. Once you have said the Shahada you are committed to Islam for life. You may say the Shahada alone, as it is a testimony to Allah who sees all things. However, to be recognized by other Muslims, it is wise to say it in front of witnesses, preferably including an Imam from the mosque you wish to join.\\nThe words of the Shahada are \\\"La ilaha illallah, Muhammad rasulullah,\\\" which means \\\"There is no true god but Allah, and Muhammad is His prophet.\\\"\\nIn this way, you pledge yourself to serve Allah and to follow the teachings of the Quran for life.\\nYou are pledging to worship the Creator, and not His creation. Neither other faiths nor worship of earthly things must interfere with your love of Allah.\\nYou must fully understand the Shahada and mean it sincerely in order for it to be binding.\\nIt must be your own free choice to take the Shahada, not made under any coercion or compulsion.\\nPronounce the words correctly. You may choose to repeat after another Muslim, or you may find a recording. here.\\nIf you have children that have not yet reached puberty, then they will automatically become Muslims if you convert and should be informed of their new status and raised in accordance with the teachings of Islam. If they have already reached puberty, then they should be encouraged to take the Shahada to confirm their acceptance of Islam and submission to the will of Allah.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider taking a Muslim name.\", \"描述\": \"It is not obligatory but it is a highly recommended option and will help you develop your new identity. You may simply take on your new name in addition to your given name, or change your name to your Muslim name. Keep your surname as it is, or change it to \\\"bin\\\" (if you are male) or \\\"bint\\\" (if you are female) followed by the name of your father.\\nThat is, if your father is Richard Archer, you might change your name to \\\"Fatemah bint Archer\\\" or \\\"Fatemah bint Richard Archer.\\\"\\nIf your pre-conversion name is that of a tyrant or that bespeaks worship of another deity, strongly consider changing your name.\\nChoose beautiful Muslim names for any children you may have and explain to them why they must use their new name in future.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think about circumcision if you are male, as it is recommended in Islam.\", \"描述\": \"Some males who are not circumcised become so after converting, partly because it provides an opportunity to show commitment to Islam and to feel part of the Muslim community of brothers. Take your time making this decision, and consult an Imam and other Muslims you trust if you are having doubts.\\nIf you have sons, they can be circumcised too, in accordance with Islamic tradition. Teach them that circumcision is a gift that Allah has prescribed for them because it is good for their health and well being. At the same time, consider allowing them to make this highly personal decision for themselves when they grow older and support their decision regardless of whether or not you agree with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Living as a Muslim\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pray five times a day\", \"描述\": \"Understand that the five obligatory daily prayers are central to the life of every Muslim. Pray at dawn, after it strikes noon, in the mid-afternoon, at sunset, and at night. The exact times will depend on the season, as worship is timed according to the sun's position.\\nPray at your mosque when possible if you are male. Females can pray at home if they wish, in a clean corner of the home, dedicated for prayer.\\nLearn about the essential elements of the prayer and what invalidates the prayer.\\nNew Muslim children over the age of seven should be taught and encouraged to pray as a priority. Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) teaches that those over the age of ten should be disciplined if they show any reluctance to learn and perform this primary duty.\\nLearn about the recommended optional prayers and add some into your daily routine, as they bring great reward.\\nMake dua (supplication) throughout each day. Praise and thank Allah, and ask in your own words for help, support and guidance.\\nAlways acknowledge every sin, however seemingly small, and ask for forgiveness. Remember that although Allah is inclined towards forgiveness, He is aware of every disobedience, so our natural mindset should be a state of combined hope (of His mercy) and fear (of His punishment).\\nTry to remain mindful of Allah throughout the day. Make dhikr whenever you have quiet moments.\\nStriving to please Allah should be at the forefront of your mind with every choice you make.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Observe Ramadan\", \"描述\": \"Ramadan is a holy month. Observe it by praying, fasting, and performing acts of charity. So long as you are physically able, you are required to fast during Ramadan.\\nFasting means abstaining from sunrise to sundown from all food and drink, as well as sexual activity.\\nExceptions are made for children that have not reached puberty (though they should be encouraged to complete mini-fasts), the ill, and people who are menstruating or experiencing postpartum bleeding.\\nMany Muslims fast regularly outside of Ramadhan in order to remind themselves of Allah's bounties and as a protection from sin.\\nSelf-discipline lies at the core of Islam. A good Muslim is aware that Allah is always watching and the many rules of Islam must be obeyed both in private and in public.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Donate to charity.\", \"描述\": \"As a Muslim, you are required by the Quran to donate 2.5% of your earnings to the poor. This is called Zakat. If you are well-off, consider donating a higher percentage of your income.\\nChoose your charity wisely. Make sure it is handled well, so that it directly benefits the poor. There are many Muslim charities that ensure that our Zakat reaches those most deserving.\\nSome charities exist primarily to spread the message of Islam, to encourage non-Muslims to convert and born Muslims to observe the religion more closely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a pilgrimage to Mecca\", \"描述\": \"If you are physically and financially able, you must travel to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia at least once in your lifetime. Prepare spiritually before making this trip, as it is a momentous occasion.\\nGo during the period of Hajj, between the 8th to the 12th of Dhu al-Hijjah. This is the final month of the Islamic calendar, and changes yearly based on the moon.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Study the Quran.\", \"描述\": \"Read the Quran every day as much as you are able. You may read by yourself or with other Muslims. Consider taking a class on Islamic scripture at a mosque or an Islamic Center.\\nMemorize some of your favorite surahs and recite them during your prayers (salah). Try to make sure you learn to recite the Quran with the correct pronunciation.\\nLearn the meaning of the words of the Quran and try to incorporate its lessons in your daily life.\\nLearn about the habits and practices of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him), known as the Sunnah, and try and incorporate these into your life, for example the adhkar that he would recite.\\nThe children of reverts should attend weekday evening and/or weekend madrassa to learn Quran, the basics of the Shariah and the history of Islam. It will also help them become accustomed to Muslim behavioral standards and to worship and study with other Muslim children in a single-gender environment.\\nRemember that seeking authentic knowledge about Islam is incumbent upon every Muslim from childhood until death.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Strengthen your faith.\", \"描述\": \"Live with the intention of glorifying Allah in all your actions. Seek to uphold the faith of your fellow Muslims. Contribute to your community's efforts at fard al-kifaya, and contribute to charity efforts. Get involved at your local Islamic Center, mosque, or Muslim Student Group if you are a student.\\nAssert your Muslim identity by dressing with modesty, order, and elegance in accordance with Islamic tradition. Following the dress code is a very important as it identifies the Muslims and helps build a sense of belonging within the Muslim community.\\nWomen are required to cover themselves with plain, loose clothing, with the exception of their face and hands. Many also choose to follow the practice of covering the face as an additional act of worship, as this was the practice of the female companions of the early prophets.\\nChildren should be required to adopt the Islamic dress code. Girls should be accustomed to hijab well before the onset of puberty. Any reluctance should be treated with sensitivity and encouragement, but also firmness if necessary.\\nStudy and respect the Islamic limits on gender interaction, which may be very different from what you and your children are used to. For example, it is forbidden in Islam to informally chat with or stare at the opposite gender.\\nChildren should be taught the rules of gender interaction from an early age, so that they are ingrained well before puberty. For example boys should only be allowed to play with boys and girls with girls, and any infraction such as chit-chatting should be corrected.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rejecting Islamophobia as a Non-Muslim\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize that Islam is not violent\", \"描述\": \"If you are struggling with negative feelings towards Islam, this may be because it is depicted as an inherently violent religion by non-Muslims. In fact, Islam is as much about peace as any other Abrahamic religion.\\nMuslims disapprove of violence. They do not consider violent jihadists \\\"extremists,\\\" but rather \\\"deviants\\\" from Islam, which preaches peace and kindness.\\nAlthough some aspects of the Shariah may seem quite strict, for example the physical penalties prescribed for certain sins, these are intended to be rarely-used deterrents to drive people towards the obedience of Allah and ensure a safe and fair society.\\nRight-wing extremists, white supremacists in particular, have killed more people in the United States than have Muslims.\\nRecognize that most mass shootings in the United States are by white Christian men.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take regular classes.\", \"描述\": \"Look for mosques and Islamic centers in your area that offer classes on Islam for non-Muslims and new Muslims. Consider joining an inter-faith meetup group. Learn about the religion and get to know real Muslims. You will be able to ask questions and get answers in a non-judgmental classroom environment.\\nMany mosques hold weekly single-gender study circles, which non-Muslims are welcome to attend to meet Muslims and familiarize themselves with Islam.\\nIf there is no class available in your area, consider taking a free class online, such as: https://www.mooc-list.com/course/islam-through-its-scriptures-edx or if possible move to a Muslim-majority locality.\\nWhen you do convert, remember that studying Islam is both rewarding and a life-long obligation, so every Muslim adult and child should dedicate some time each day to increase their knowledge of Islam, in particular how Allah wishes to be worshiped.\\nLearn about the importance in Islam of marriage, which has been described as \\\"half our religion\\\". There is no shame in having sexual desires, but these must only be used as a motivator towards getting married and having children, which are the source of great reward in Islam. Some revert sisters choose polygamous marriages, as this was a practice of Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him) and is seen as praiseworthy in Islam.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat Muslims with respect\", \"描述\": \"Treat Muslim people with the respect and warmth you would extend to anyone. Never make jokes about someone's religion, clothing, or attitude of prayer. Do not blame a Muslim person for the acts of another Muslim, and never assume that one member of a religion holds exactly the same beliefs as another.\\nIf you are friends with Muslim people, consider asking if they would be willing to sit down and chat about your respective religions some time.\\nSome people might feel invaded if you ask them questions about their personal faith, though Muslims are expected to be open and willing to share religious knowledge and encourage non-Muslims to find out about Islam. It is best to discuss religion with people you know well, and who say they are happy to talk with you.\\nAfter you convert, any children you have should be encouraged to form close friendships with other practicing Muslim children who will be a good influence on them. Be wary of allowing past friendships with the children of non-believers to continue, as these may become the source of doubts or discouragement.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
105 | How to Invite Christ Into Your Life | 1. Admit
Admit you have sinned and repent to seek God’s forgiveness.
We’re inherently flawed, and that’s why you’re challenged with temptation each and every day. You’re faced with countless decisions, and it’s okay if you make a mistake as long as you’re willing to admit it. Before you can fully let Christ into your life, you must recognize your wrongdoings—you must repent.
Repenting is the process of changing your mind and attitude to own your mistakes to live a forgiving, welcoming, and understanding life.
Recognizing sin within yourself isn’t easy. Remember, change can’t happen if you refuse to admit your mistakes.
Allow yourself to feel everything. Owning your mistakes can bring up past traumas and emotions, but God will help guide you. Don’t be afraid to sit in difficult feelings because they can help your faith grow.
Remember, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8–9).
2. Believe
Believe that Jesus died to save you from your sins.
To be saved by the Lord, you must believe in Him. God sent His only son to die on the cross so you can be free. He loves you regardless of if you’ve sinned, and recognizing and accepting this wholeheartedly is the next step to letting Jesus into your life.
Review the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ in the New Testament’s Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Keep in mind that “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
3. Confess
Confess your sins
Repentance and confession go hand-in-hand. You’ve admitted your mistakes and believe that Christ has given you the choice to be better, so now it’s time to apologize by praying. Repent your sins by saying “I’m sorry” to God and those you may have hurt.
You might pray, “Lord, I believe you love me. Please forgive me of my sins, and help me become a better person. Amen,” or “Dear God, I’m a sinner and need your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for my sin. I’m willing to change and turn from my sin.”
God knows all, so be sincere in your apology. If you’re not ready to apologize, take a few steps back until you’re ready—Christ will still be there for you when you are.
Don’t forget, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).
4. Invite
Invite Christ into your life after you’ve completed the ABCs of salvation.
You’ve admitted your sins, proved your belief, and confessed to your sins, but the work isn’t done. God’s love for you is infinite, and you can return His love by:
Take time every day to read a few verses of the Bible, a daily devotional, or complete an activity in a Bible study book.
Ask the Lord to come into your life and be the navigator, director, or author of your life.
Find a sense of community with a local church to continue learning about faith and praising God.
Start and end each day following God’s word. Be kind, understanding, and loving.
Baptism is your way of devoting your faith in God and His way to place His everlasting mark on you.
Tips
Apps like YouVersion Bible and Bible.is can help you learn scripture whenever and wherever.
Try searching for translations or video adaptations of Bible stories if you’re having a hard time understanding something.
There are many different versions of the Bible, so pick the one that speaks to you! Some versions lean more towards traditional wordings, while others modernize the language, so it’s easier to understand.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Admit\\nAdmit you have sinned and repent to seek God’s forgiveness.\\nWe’re inherently flawed, and that’s why you’re challenged with temptation each and every day. You’re faced with countless decisions, and it’s okay if you make a mistake as long as you’re willing to admit it. Before you can fully let Christ into your life, you must recognize your wrongdoings—you must repent.\\n\\nRepenting is the process of changing your mind and attitude to own your mistakes to live a forgiving, welcoming, and understanding life.\\nRecognizing sin within yourself isn’t easy. Remember, change can’t happen if you refuse to admit your mistakes.\\nAllow yourself to feel everything. Owning your mistakes can bring up past traumas and emotions, but God will help guide you. Don’t be afraid to sit in difficult feelings because they can help your faith grow.\\nRemember, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8–9).\\n2. Believe\\nBelieve that Jesus died to save you from your sins.\\nTo be saved by the Lord, you must believe in Him. God sent His only son to die on the cross so you can be free. He loves you regardless of if you’ve sinned, and recognizing and accepting this wholeheartedly is the next step to letting Jesus into your life.\\nReview the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ in the New Testament’s Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.\\nKeep in mind that “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).\\n3. Confess\\nConfess your sins\\nRepentance and confession go hand-in-hand. You’ve admitted your mistakes and believe that Christ has given you the choice to be better, so now it’s time to apologize by praying. Repent your sins by saying “I’m sorry” to God and those you may have hurt.\\nYou might pray, “Lord, I believe you love me. Please forgive me of my sins, and help me become a better person. Amen,” or “Dear God, I’m a sinner and need your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for my sin. I’m willing to change and turn from my sin.”\\nGod knows all, so be sincere in your apology. If you’re not ready to apologize, take a few steps back until you’re ready—Christ will still be there for you when you are.\\nDon’t forget, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).\\n4. Invite\\nInvite Christ into your life after you’ve completed the ABCs of salvation.\\nYou’ve admitted your sins, proved your belief, and confessed to your sins, but the work isn’t done. God’s love for you is infinite, and you can return His love by:\\n\\n Take time every day to read a few verses of the Bible, a daily devotional, or complete an activity in a Bible study book.\\n Ask the Lord to come into your life and be the navigator, director, or author of your life.\\n\\n Find a sense of community with a local church to continue learning about faith and praising God.\\n\\n Start and end each day following God’s word. Be kind, understanding, and loving.\\n Baptism is your way of devoting your faith in God and His way to place His everlasting mark on you.\\nTips\\nApps like YouVersion Bible and Bible.is can help you learn scripture whenever and wherever.\\nTry searching for translations or video adaptations of Bible stories if you’re having a hard time understanding something.\\nThere are many different versions of the Bible, so pick the one that speaks to you! Some versions lean more towards traditional wordings, while others modernize the language, so it’s easier to understand.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Welcoming Jesus into your heart is one of the first steps to being a Christian, but how do you do that? Accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior isn’t as difficult as you may think. Yes, it takes some soul searching and dedication, but He’s there to guide you every step of the way. In this article, we’ll teach you about the ABCs of salvation: Admit, Believe, and Confess. These foundations can help you grow your faith and invite Christ into your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Admit you have sinned and repent to seek God’s forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"We’re inherently flawed, and that’s why you’re challenged with temptation each and every day. You’re faced with countless decisions, and it’s okay if you make a mistake as long as you’re willing to admit it. Before you can fully let Christ into your life, you must recognize your wrongdoings—you must repent.\\n\\nRepenting is the process of changing your mind and attitude to own your mistakes to live a forgiving, welcoming, and understanding life.\\nRecognizing sin within yourself isn’t easy. Remember, change can’t happen if you refuse to admit your mistakes.\\nAllow yourself to feel everything. Owning your mistakes can bring up past traumas and emotions, but God will help guide you. Don’t be afraid to sit in difficult feelings because they can help your faith grow.\\nRemember, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8–9).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Believe\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Believe that Jesus died to save you from your sins.\", \"描述\": \"To be saved by the Lord, you must believe in Him. God sent His only son to die on the cross so you can be free. He loves you regardless of if you’ve sinned, and recognizing and accepting this wholeheartedly is the next step to letting Jesus into your life.\\nReview the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ in the New Testament’s Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.\\nKeep in mind that “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Confess\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confess your sins\", \"描述\": \"Repentance and confession go hand-in-hand. You’ve admitted your mistakes and believe that Christ has given you the choice to be better, so now it’s time to apologize by praying. Repent your sins by saying “I’m sorry” to God and those you may have hurt.\\nYou might pray, “Lord, I believe you love me. Please forgive me of my sins, and help me become a better person. Amen,” or “Dear God, I’m a sinner and need your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for my sin. I’m willing to change and turn from my sin.”\\nGod knows all, so be sincere in your apology. If you’re not ready to apologize, take a few steps back until you’re ready—Christ will still be there for you when you are.\\nDon’t forget, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invite\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite Christ into your life after you’ve completed the ABCs of salvation.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve admitted your sins, proved your belief, and confessed to your sins, but the work isn’t done. God’s love for you is infinite, and you can return His love by:\\n\\n Take time every day to read a few verses of the Bible, a daily devotional, or complete an activity in a Bible study book.\\n Ask the Lord to come into your life and be the navigator, director, or author of your life.\\n\\n Find a sense of community with a local church to continue learning about faith and praising God.\\n\\n Start and end each day following God’s word. Be kind, understanding, and loving.\\n Baptism is your way of devoting your faith in God and His way to place His everlasting mark on you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Apps like YouVersion Bible and Bible.is can help you learn scripture whenever and wherever.\\n\", \"Try searching for translations or video adaptations of Bible stories if you’re having a hard time understanding something.\\n\", \"There are many different versions of the Bible, so pick the one that speaks to you! Some versions lean more towards traditional wordings, while others modernize the language, so it’s easier to understand.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
106 | How to Accept Life the Way It Is | 1. Acknowledging Your Point of View About Life
1-1. Ask yourself what you think about your life.
This can be a difficult task but it's an essential one. However, the first step is to understand your view. It may seem confronting but it is in facing your fears and unresolved issues that you can start to better understand your worldview and get to the heart of why you might have a tendency to see everything as a challenge. Many say that you choose to see the world in a certain way, that what worries you about it is your point of view. This is something you can change or, at least, align with realities that you might not have yet considered.
Things you might ask yourself about your view of life include: Is this right? Is this meant to be? Why can't I do it? Is there something wrong with me?
It is okay to ask a friend or an adult about your perceptions, feelings and impressions.
Life is not fair or unfair.
You can think the glass is half empty or half full.
You should understand why things happen. Then accept them instead of considering yourself a victim of some force you cannot control.
1-2. Accept that the world is confusing in many ways.
Whether you look at the way the world is, how it works, scientifically or spiritually, there are complexities and questions remaining unanswered. This is part of the mystery of life. For some, it represents an unfathomable hurdle; for others, it presents a challenge to discover, unravel and find out more. How you respond to the confusion all depends on you.
1-3. Start thinking about emotions and feelings.
Your emotions are a crucial part of your entire makeup. However, some people choose to deny emotions and believe that being wholly rational is the only sane response in a difficult world. Such people tend to miss the reality that we are emotional beings and that denying our emotions serves us poorly. Moreover, it is impossible to rule out being emotional, as our unconscious self will still override what we think are "rational" decisions. On the other hand, some people choose to be purely emotional, and don't take the time to balance this with their more logical self. This can lead them to live in an emotional fugue, reacting too much to the emotions of others and overplaying everything that happens as a "drama". Either way is an unhealthy extreme; the idea is to seek your balance and develop both parts of yourself healthily.
People's feelings are reflected in their faces, body language, words and actions. Sometimes, these feelings are confused, and you can misread intentions or meaning. Spend time listening to other people, to learn what they really mean underneath their commonplace words. This is a skill that will help you to relate better and will also help you to understand your own behaviors at times. Ultimately, this skill will help you to develop self- and other-compassion.
2. Looking Beyond Your Point of View
2-1. Look around you.
See the world in both its beauty and non-beauty. What is beautiful to you? What is not? Your perception is unique to you and whether or not something is beautiful or bearable or soul-destroying is impacted by your view. One person may see beauty where another sees none at all.
Try changing your perspective. Look up, down, and straight ahead. Don't limit where you look––walk around things, scratch deeper, seek meaning beyond what is right in front of you. Many people don't look in various directions, choosing instead to always see things from the same perspective and eye level at all times; that is why many people miss the things that change the ordinary into extraordinary.
2-2. Respect
Ask about your friends' or family members' views.These views may be very different from your own, and may even be polar opposites.Yet, try to accept these views instead of resisting them. At the same time that you accept, seek to understand why they hold the views they have.You are starting to accept what life brings, in all its variety, both pleasing and jarring.You are slowly getting there.
2-3. Respect the views of other creatures.
Everything and everyone is important. Don't abuse, or hurt the creatures. They were here before we were born and will live when we fall.
3. Assessing Your Acceptance
3-1. Ask yourself again if you accept life the way it is.
If you answer no, and it's because you feel that society fails to meet your point of view, then please read on. If yes, then you have completed your mission and congrats.
3-2. Try to fix your perception of society.
Or, simply move on, acknowledging the discordance between your point of view and the society in which you're living. Throughout history, there have always been people who have felt strong discomfort with the society they're part of. Some have used this to actively seek change; others have quietly found pathways to work around the social mores and practices that they feel would otherwise stifle them. Find your own way to work around what you don't much like about your society. Try to see the broader picture, that you are a part of humanity as a whole, and that it is a wonder to be part of consciousness.
Remember, it can be easier to blame an external "something" as being the ruination of your own chance to thrive. But that is a form of giving up; where there is a will, however quiet and humble, there is always a way. Protect your own right to thrive through education, learning, connecting with people in your community in positive ways and finding the tools and skills to achieve the things that matter to you.
3-3. Try to make friends with everyone whether you like them or not.
It becomes a positive habit for you to practice, which soon enough evolves into an attractive attitude that others sense immediately. Let go of any ideas that it is not possible to befriend a person whose ideas and points of view don't align with yours. Always seek what both of you have in common and begin there, whether it's a love of music, a desire to rid the street of litter or a need to change the world. Ask questions and listen politely until you find that connection point with others around you.
3-4. Accept.
Congrats on working through your points of view and looking for ways to thrive in what can be a confusing and unsettling world. Seek your own pathways to being happy and smile as often as you can. Ultimately, accept life for what it is and learn to thrive within what you have.
Tips
Take breaks in life. Whether it's a weekend with the cell phone and email switched off or a sabbatical in your studies or career, breaks can sometimes give you the sense of renewal you need to overcome harder times in life. A reinvigorated perspective can often lead to better things.
Learn how to relax. Relaxation teaches you to keep calm, to find space to reflect on life and to take things in your stride. Not allowing yourself relaxation time can result in pent-up stress, liable to break forth when you're least able to cope. Relaxing is not being lazy––remove that criticism from your mind.
Don't assume that life is all about perseverance. Knowing when to hang in and knowing when to quit is a fine balancing act that requires plenty of reflection. Sometimes, quitting is the best thing you can do, when something clearly isn't working and isn't something that works with your strengths.
Warnings
You may be stressed for a while trying to find yourself.[10]
X
Research source
Give yourself the okay to explore and the space in which to do this, so that this stress can be somewhat relieved.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Acknowledging Your Point of View About Life\\n1-1. Ask yourself what you think about your life.\\nThis can be a difficult task but it's an essential one. However, the first step is to understand your view. It may seem confronting but it is in facing your fears and unresolved issues that you can start to better understand your worldview and get to the heart of why you might have a tendency to see everything as a challenge. Many say that you choose to see the world in a certain way, that what worries you about it is your point of view. This is something you can change or, at least, align with realities that you might not have yet considered.\\nThings you might ask yourself about your view of life include: Is this right? Is this meant to be? Why can't I do it? Is there something wrong with me?\\nIt is okay to ask a friend or an adult about your perceptions, feelings and impressions.\\nLife is not fair or unfair.\\nYou can think the glass is half empty or half full.\\nYou should understand why things happen. Then accept them instead of considering yourself a victim of some force you cannot control.\\n1-2. Accept that the world is confusing in many ways.\\nWhether you look at the way the world is, how it works, scientifically or spiritually, there are complexities and questions remaining unanswered. This is part of the mystery of life. For some, it represents an unfathomable hurdle; for others, it presents a challenge to discover, unravel and find out more. How you respond to the confusion all depends on you.\\n1-3. Start thinking about emotions and feelings.\\nYour emotions are a crucial part of your entire makeup. However, some people choose to deny emotions and believe that being wholly rational is the only sane response in a difficult world. Such people tend to miss the reality that we are emotional beings and that denying our emotions serves us poorly. Moreover, it is impossible to rule out being emotional, as our unconscious self will still override what we think are \\\"rational\\\" decisions. On the other hand, some people choose to be purely emotional, and don't take the time to balance this with their more logical self. This can lead them to live in an emotional fugue, reacting too much to the emotions of others and overplaying everything that happens as a \\\"drama\\\". Either way is an unhealthy extreme; the idea is to seek your balance and develop both parts of yourself healthily.\\nPeople's feelings are reflected in their faces, body language, words and actions. Sometimes, these feelings are confused, and you can misread intentions or meaning. Spend time listening to other people, to learn what they really mean underneath their commonplace words. This is a skill that will help you to relate better and will also help you to understand your own behaviors at times. Ultimately, this skill will help you to develop self- and other-compassion.\\n2. Looking Beyond Your Point of View\\n2-1. Look around you.\\nSee the world in both its beauty and non-beauty. What is beautiful to you? What is not? Your perception is unique to you and whether or not something is beautiful or bearable or soul-destroying is impacted by your view. One person may see beauty where another sees none at all. \\nTry changing your perspective. Look up, down, and straight ahead. Don't limit where you look––walk around things, scratch deeper, seek meaning beyond what is right in front of you. Many people don't look in various directions, choosing instead to always see things from the same perspective and eye level at all times; that is why many people miss the things that change the ordinary into extraordinary.\\n2-2. Respect\\nAsk about your friends' or family members' views.These views may be very different from your own, and may even be polar opposites.Yet, try to accept these views instead of resisting them. At the same time that you accept, seek to understand why they hold the views they have.You are starting to accept what life brings, in all its variety, both pleasing and jarring.You are slowly getting there.\\n2-3. Respect the views of other creatures.\\nEverything and everyone is important. Don't abuse, or hurt the creatures. They were here before we were born and will live when we fall.\\n3. Assessing Your Acceptance\\n3-1. Ask yourself again if you accept life the way it is.\\nIf you answer no, and it's because you feel that society fails to meet your point of view, then please read on. If yes, then you have completed your mission and congrats.\\n3-2. Try to fix your perception of society.\\nOr, simply move on, acknowledging the discordance between your point of view and the society in which you're living. Throughout history, there have always been people who have felt strong discomfort with the society they're part of. Some have used this to actively seek change; others have quietly found pathways to work around the social mores and practices that they feel would otherwise stifle them. Find your own way to work around what you don't much like about your society. Try to see the broader picture, that you are a part of humanity as a whole, and that it is a wonder to be part of consciousness.\\nRemember, it can be easier to blame an external \\\"something\\\" as being the ruination of your own chance to thrive. But that is a form of giving up; where there is a will, however quiet and humble, there is always a way. Protect your own right to thrive through education, learning, connecting with people in your community in positive ways and finding the tools and skills to achieve the things that matter to you.\\n3-3. Try to make friends with everyone whether you like them or not.\\nIt becomes a positive habit for you to practice, which soon enough evolves into an attractive attitude that others sense immediately. Let go of any ideas that it is not possible to befriend a person whose ideas and points of view don't align with yours. Always seek what both of you have in common and begin there, whether it's a love of music, a desire to rid the street of litter or a need to change the world. Ask questions and listen politely until you find that connection point with others around you.\\n3-4. Accept.\\nCongrats on working through your points of view and looking for ways to thrive in what can be a confusing and unsettling world. Seek your own pathways to being happy and smile as often as you can. Ultimately, accept life for what it is and learn to thrive within what you have.\\nTips\\nTake breaks in life. Whether it's a weekend with the cell phone and email switched off or a sabbatical in your studies or career, breaks can sometimes give you the sense of renewal you need to overcome harder times in life. A reinvigorated perspective can often lead to better things.\\nLearn how to relax. Relaxation teaches you to keep calm, to find space to reflect on life and to take things in your stride. Not allowing yourself relaxation time can result in pent-up stress, liable to break forth when you're least able to cope. Relaxing is not being lazy––remove that criticism from your mind.\\nDon't assume that life is all about perseverance. Knowing when to hang in and knowing when to quit is a fine balancing act that requires plenty of reflection. Sometimes, quitting is the best thing you can do, when something clearly isn't working and isn't something that works with your strengths.\\nWarnings\\nYou may be stressed for a while trying to find yourself.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Give yourself the okay to explore and the space in which to do this, so that this stress can be somewhat relieved.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many men and women are in the habit of saying that \\\"Life is not fair.\\\" It never is. Life is unpredictable more than it seems. Human beings cannot stop life unfolding the way it does. Yet, depending on your approach, life can be spent miserably or happily. Even rich people aren't always happy. One of the keys to coping with the unpredictability and seeming unfairness of life is acceptance––accepting that this is the way things are and that you need to work around it and find pathways that allow you to thrive better. If you still can't seem to understand or accept, explore the suggestions here for how to accept life the way it is.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledging Your Point of View About Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself what you think about your life.\", \"描述\": \"This can be a difficult task but it's an essential one. However, the first step is to understand your view. It may seem confronting but it is in facing your fears and unresolved issues that you can start to better understand your worldview and get to the heart of why you might have a tendency to see everything as a challenge. Many say that you choose to see the world in a certain way, that what worries you about it is your point of view. This is something you can change or, at least, align with realities that you might not have yet considered.\\nThings you might ask yourself about your view of life include: Is this right? Is this meant to be? Why can't I do it? Is there something wrong with me?\\nIt is okay to ask a friend or an adult about your perceptions, feelings and impressions.\\nLife is not fair or unfair.\\nYou can think the glass is half empty or half full.\\nYou should understand why things happen. Then accept them instead of considering yourself a victim of some force you cannot control.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept that the world is confusing in many ways.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you look at the way the world is, how it works, scientifically or spiritually, there are complexities and questions remaining unanswered. This is part of the mystery of life. For some, it represents an unfathomable hurdle; for others, it presents a challenge to discover, unravel and find out more. How you respond to the confusion all depends on you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start thinking about emotions and feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Your emotions are a crucial part of your entire makeup. However, some people choose to deny emotions and believe that being wholly rational is the only sane response in a difficult world. Such people tend to miss the reality that we are emotional beings and that denying our emotions serves us poorly. Moreover, it is impossible to rule out being emotional, as our unconscious self will still override what we think are \\\"rational\\\" decisions. On the other hand, some people choose to be purely emotional, and don't take the time to balance this with their more logical self. This can lead them to live in an emotional fugue, reacting too much to the emotions of others and overplaying everything that happens as a \\\"drama\\\". Either way is an unhealthy extreme; the idea is to seek your balance and develop both parts of yourself healthily.\\nPeople's feelings are reflected in their faces, body language, words and actions. Sometimes, these feelings are confused, and you can misread intentions or meaning. Spend time listening to other people, to learn what they really mean underneath their commonplace words. This is a skill that will help you to relate better and will also help you to understand your own behaviors at times. Ultimately, this skill will help you to develop self- and other-compassion.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Looking Beyond Your Point of View\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look around you.\", \"描述\": \"See the world in both its beauty and non-beauty. What is beautiful to you? What is not? Your perception is unique to you and whether or not something is beautiful or bearable or soul-destroying is impacted by your view. One person may see beauty where another sees none at all. \\nTry changing your perspective. Look up, down, and straight ahead. Don't limit where you look––walk around things, scratch deeper, seek meaning beyond what is right in front of you. Many people don't look in various directions, choosing instead to always see things from the same perspective and eye level at all times; that is why many people miss the things that change the ordinary into extraordinary.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect\", \"描述\": \"Ask about your friends' or family members' views.These views may be very different from your own, and may even be polar opposites.Yet, try to accept these views instead of resisting them. At the same time that you accept, seek to understand why they hold the views they have.You are starting to accept what life brings, in all its variety, both pleasing and jarring.You are slowly getting there.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect the views of other creatures.\", \"描述\": \"Everything and everyone is important. Don't abuse, or hurt the creatures. They were here before we were born and will live when we fall.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assessing Your Acceptance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself again if you accept life the way it is.\", \"描述\": \"If you answer no, and it's because you feel that society fails to meet your point of view, then please read on. If yes, then you have completed your mission and congrats.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to fix your perception of society.\", \"描述\": \"Or, simply move on, acknowledging the discordance between your point of view and the society in which you're living. Throughout history, there have always been people who have felt strong discomfort with the society they're part of. Some have used this to actively seek change; others have quietly found pathways to work around the social mores and practices that they feel would otherwise stifle them. Find your own way to work around what you don't much like about your society. Try to see the broader picture, that you are a part of humanity as a whole, and that it is a wonder to be part of consciousness.\\nRemember, it can be easier to blame an external \\\"something\\\" as being the ruination of your own chance to thrive. But that is a form of giving up; where there is a will, however quiet and humble, there is always a way. Protect your own right to thrive through education, learning, connecting with people in your community in positive ways and finding the tools and skills to achieve the things that matter to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to make friends with everyone whether you like them or not.\", \"描述\": \"It becomes a positive habit for you to practice, which soon enough evolves into an attractive attitude that others sense immediately. Let go of any ideas that it is not possible to befriend a person whose ideas and points of view don't align with yours. Always seek what both of you have in common and begin there, whether it's a love of music, a desire to rid the street of litter or a need to change the world. Ask questions and listen politely until you find that connection point with others around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept.\", \"描述\": \"Congrats on working through your points of view and looking for ways to thrive in what can be a confusing and unsettling world. Seek your own pathways to being happy and smile as often as you can. Ultimately, accept life for what it is and learn to thrive within what you have.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take breaks in life. Whether it's a weekend with the cell phone and email switched off or a sabbatical in your studies or career, breaks can sometimes give you the sense of renewal you need to overcome harder times in life. A reinvigorated perspective can often lead to better things.\\n\", \"Learn how to relax. Relaxation teaches you to keep calm, to find space to reflect on life and to take things in your stride. Not allowing yourself relaxation time can result in pent-up stress, liable to break forth when you're least able to cope. Relaxing is not being lazy––remove that criticism from your mind.\\n\", \"Don't assume that life is all about perseverance. Knowing when to hang in and knowing when to quit is a fine balancing act that requires plenty of reflection. Sometimes, quitting is the best thing you can do, when something clearly isn't working and isn't something that works with your strengths.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"You may be stressed for a while trying to find yourself.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Give yourself the okay to explore and the space in which to do this, so that this stress can be somewhat relieved.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
107 | How to Accept Loneliness | 1. Coping with Loneliness
1-1. Accept that loneliness is not a fact, but a feeling.
Loneliness can trigger feelings of abandonment, forlornness, or isolation. Recognize when these emotions are triggered, and remember that having a feeling doesn’t necessarily make it fact. You are not bound to feeling lonely.
Feelings can change quickly based on circumstances and attitudes. All these feelings are perhaps like bubbles in a pond which come and go. You may feel lonely one moment, then realize that you’d rather be by yourself than be with friends, or you may receive a phone call from a friend, relieving loneliness.
1-2. Embrace your feelings.
Don’t ignore your feelings; they can be important signals on what is going well or poorly in your life. As with all feelings, allow yourself to feel loneliness. Pay attention to how you feel when loneliness creeps up. Your body may feel heavy, or you may have an urge to cry. Allow yourself to feel the physical and emotional associations, and allow yourself to cry.
Don’t instinctively run from loneliness. Many people choose to distract themselves from loneliness by turning to T.V, work, projects, or other activities to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness. Instead, stay aware of your feelings (and the ways you cope) and determine to honor your body and emotions. Discard ignorance accept that you are lonely and try to find a solution, analyze your own self.
1-3. Change your attitude.
When the thoughts “I’m lonely” or “I feel all alone” come across your mind, chances are you have a negative association with these feelings. It’s easy to spiral into negative thoughts from here: questioning your self-worth, feeling somehow less valuable or feeling emotionally or physically drained. Before heading down this rabbit hole, consider changing your attitude. Instead of labelling your experience as “lonely”, adopt the mindset of having solitude. Embrace having the opportunity to experience solitude as peaceful and restorative. When you learn to cherish your solitude you'll be able to handle the times when it’s just you.
Use your time to get to know yourself better: start a journal, meditate, and read books that interest you.
Sometimes having more alone time is inevitable, such as when moving to a new city or country. Embrace the moments you have to experience solitude, and know that they will not last forever. Cherish the time you have to have a new experience.
1-4. Practice compassion.
Realize that loneliness is a universal experience that affects every individual at one time or another. Loneliness is part of the human experience. Imagine having a friend tell you that she feels lonely. How would you respond? What would you say to her? Practice this same compassion toward yourself. Allow yourself to reach out to people and ask for support.
Loneliness is not shameful or embarrassing; it is a part of everyone’s life at some point, and there’s no need to feel bad about feeling lonely. Express compassion toward yourself, and express compassion toward other people who may feel lonely around you.
1-5. Question what may be missing from your life.
Loneliness can be a tool to show you what may be missing or what you may want more of in your life. You may be surrounded by people and social events yet still feel lonely. Loneliness may not be a lack of social contact, but a lack of intimate connections. Take some time to reflect upon what you would like to have in your life.
Write down times when you feel lonely. Maybe you feel most lonely during large social events or when you are home alone. Then, consider what might alleviate that loneliness; maybe it would be having a friend go to events with you, or calling over your sister to watch a movie when you feel lonely at home. Come up with realistic solutions that you can enact (don’t make the solution to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to solve all of your loneliness).
1-6. Overcome shyness and insecurity.
Remember that nobody is born with social skills, and that they are skills, not superpowers. Much of shyness/insecurity comes from false beliefs or fears about social performance. Your thoughts about being unlikeable or weird do not reflect reality; it is one perception. And remember, you don't have to be perfect in order to be likeable. When you feel socially insecure, start paying more attention to your external environment instead of your internal thoughts and feelings. Focus on the person/people you are talking to, and focus your attention on understanding and hearing out your company instead of yourself.
Realize that it’s okay to make social mistakes; everybody does!
People pay a lot less notice to your mistakes than you realize; most people are too focused on themselves and combatting social fears to notice your insecurities!
For more information, read How to Not Be Shy.
1-7. Conquer your fear of rejection.
Sometimes, it feels safer to avoid social situations than to experience rejection. A fear of rejection is based in a distrust in people. Perhaps you experienced betrayal in the past and are now fearful in trusting people or making friends. While this experience was painful, remember that not every friendship you have will betray you. Keep trying.
Not every rejection you experience reflects a rejection of you as a person. Someone may be distracted or unaware of you reaching out.
Remember that you don’t like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you, and that's okay.
2. Reaching Past Loneliness
2-1. Build your social skills.
Perhaps you feel lonely because you don’t feel confident in your social skills. Practice social skills such as smiling at other people, giving compliments, and making conversation with people you meet throughout the day (grocery clerk, barista, co-workers).
If you’re in a new situation, reach out to someone else and start a conversation. Say “I’ve never been here before, have you? What’s it like?” Either the person can help you or you can find comfort in doing something new together.
Remember to communicate openness through body language. By hunching your shoulders, looking down, avoiding eye contact and crossing your body, you appear unapproachable. Smile, keep your posture open (uncross your legs or arms), lean in, and face the person who is speaking.
Look for things to affirm in others. Don’t just compliment someone’s appearance ("I like your sweater"), but instead say "You always take the time to put together just the right accessories." If you know someone well enough, compliment them on their kindness or intelligence.
Learn more ways to improve your social skills more by checking out How to Improve Social Skills.
2-2. Be a good listener.
Interacting with other people isn’t just about knowing the right thing to say. Hone your listening skills by giving your full attention to the person speaking. Don’t try and plan the perfect response or wait to find your entry point; this puts the focus on you and not the person speaking. Instead, encourage the person to keep talking and show interest in what is being said.
Non-verbally communicate your listening skills by nodding your head, making eye contact, and giving small feedback like saying, “I see,” or, “uh huh.”
For more tips on how to build listening skills, check out How to Be a Good Listener.
2-3. Meet people in your community.
Find people with whom you have common interests and with whom you can get along. Ask questions to get to know someone (ask about family, pets, interests, etc.), and make sure people want to get to know you back by asking questions of you.
Meet people by volunteering. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal sanctuary or an animal shelter. You’re bound to meet other people who love animals and you have something immediately connecting you.
Find common interest groups in your community. If you are interested in knitting, chances are there are people around you that also share that interest. Do a little internet research and find a group that you can join.
Want more information on how to make friends? Check out How to Make Friends.
2-4. Make good friends.
It’s important to have solid friendships in the town where you live. Friendships help boost your mood, reduce stress, and give you lifelong support. Look for friends that you trust, are loyal, and encourage you. And make sure you live out the values you look for in a friend, too, by being a trusting, loyal, and encouraging person to the friends in your life.
Be genuine. if you cannot "be yourself’ around your friends, chances are they are not your friends. Friends will appreciate you for you, quirks and all. If you struggle to connect with one person or feel like you are trying too hard, move on and make a new friend.
Practice being the friend you want to have. Think about the qualities you want in a friend, and do those things for the people in your life.
2-5. Adopt a pet.
Adopting a dog or cat (or other pet) from an animal shelter can mean major health benefits for you, especially companionship. Humans that have dogs tend to have lower levels of depression, are able to cope with stress better, and show lower levels of anxiety.
Go to the local animal shelter and help to socialize a dog or cat that has lost their family and is alone. If you are able, you may wish to adopt a dog.
Of course, adopting a dog is a big responsibility. Make sure you can adjust your schedule around a new pet in order to give your pet a loving and fulfilling life.
2-6. Engage in therapy.
Sometimes the pain of loneliness can take a toll and make it difficult to move forward on your own. A therapist can help you work through social anxiety, understand past feelings of betrayal and distrust, improve your social skills, and offer support in moving forward. Reaching out to a therapist can be an empowering first step in committing to the life you want for yourself.
For more information, check out How to Choose a Therapist.
Tips
Greet people who don't expect it and give a friendly smile and a kind word: the person in the toll booth, the grocery store clerk, the attendant at the parking lot. If time permits, ask how their day is going or engage in some other conversation.
Check out activities your local library or community center. Many have programs, talks, and other events you can attend.
Notice when someone in your community experiences a death or a loss. Write a note to them. Later take them a meal and offer to listen to their stories. Really listen — don't talk about yourself.
Warnings
Avoid spending an inordinate amount of time online. While it might feel as if you are connecting with real people, it can be a very alienating experience when these people are not really there for you and you cannot really dialog with them in a way that normal, successful human relationships require. By all means make friends online, but don't do this to the detriment of your offline life.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Coping with Loneliness\\n1-1. Accept that loneliness is not a fact, but a feeling.\\nLoneliness can trigger feelings of abandonment, forlornness, or isolation. Recognize when these emotions are triggered, and remember that having a feeling doesn’t necessarily make it fact. You are not bound to feeling lonely.\\nFeelings can change quickly based on circumstances and attitudes. All these feelings are perhaps like bubbles in a pond which come and go. You may feel lonely one moment, then realize that you’d rather be by yourself than be with friends, or you may receive a phone call from a friend, relieving loneliness.\\n1-2. Embrace your feelings.\\nDon’t ignore your feelings; they can be important signals on what is going well or poorly in your life. As with all feelings, allow yourself to feel loneliness. Pay attention to how you feel when loneliness creeps up. Your body may feel heavy, or you may have an urge to cry. Allow yourself to feel the physical and emotional associations, and allow yourself to cry.\\nDon’t instinctively run from loneliness. Many people choose to distract themselves from loneliness by turning to T.V, work, projects, or other activities to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness. Instead, stay aware of your feelings (and the ways you cope) and determine to honor your body and emotions. Discard ignorance accept that you are lonely and try to find a solution, analyze your own self.\\n1-3. Change your attitude.\\nWhen the thoughts “I’m lonely” or “I feel all alone” come across your mind, chances are you have a negative association with these feelings. It’s easy to spiral into negative thoughts from here: questioning your self-worth, feeling somehow less valuable or feeling emotionally or physically drained. Before heading down this rabbit hole, consider changing your attitude. Instead of labelling your experience as “lonely”, adopt the mindset of having solitude. Embrace having the opportunity to experience solitude as peaceful and restorative. When you learn to cherish your solitude you'll be able to handle the times when it’s just you.\\nUse your time to get to know yourself better: start a journal, meditate, and read books that interest you.\\nSometimes having more alone time is inevitable, such as when moving to a new city or country. Embrace the moments you have to experience solitude, and know that they will not last forever. Cherish the time you have to have a new experience.\\n1-4. Practice compassion.\\nRealize that loneliness is a universal experience that affects every individual at one time or another. Loneliness is part of the human experience. Imagine having a friend tell you that she feels lonely. How would you respond? What would you say to her? Practice this same compassion toward yourself. Allow yourself to reach out to people and ask for support.\\nLoneliness is not shameful or embarrassing; it is a part of everyone’s life at some point, and there’s no need to feel bad about feeling lonely. Express compassion toward yourself, and express compassion toward other people who may feel lonely around you.\\n1-5. Question what may be missing from your life.\\nLoneliness can be a tool to show you what may be missing or what you may want more of in your life. You may be surrounded by people and social events yet still feel lonely. Loneliness may not be a lack of social contact, but a lack of intimate connections. Take some time to reflect upon what you would like to have in your life.\\nWrite down times when you feel lonely. Maybe you feel most lonely during large social events or when you are home alone. Then, consider what might alleviate that loneliness; maybe it would be having a friend go to events with you, or calling over your sister to watch a movie when you feel lonely at home. Come up with realistic solutions that you can enact (don’t make the solution to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to solve all of your loneliness).\\n1-6. Overcome shyness and insecurity.\\nRemember that nobody is born with social skills, and that they are skills, not superpowers. Much of shyness/insecurity comes from false beliefs or fears about social performance. Your thoughts about being unlikeable or weird do not reflect reality; it is one perception. And remember, you don't have to be perfect in order to be likeable. When you feel socially insecure, start paying more attention to your external environment instead of your internal thoughts and feelings. Focus on the person/people you are talking to, and focus your attention on understanding and hearing out your company instead of yourself.\\nRealize that it’s okay to make social mistakes; everybody does!\\nPeople pay a lot less notice to your mistakes than you realize; most people are too focused on themselves and combatting social fears to notice your insecurities!\\nFor more information, read How to Not Be Shy.\\n1-7. Conquer your fear of rejection.\\nSometimes, it feels safer to avoid social situations than to experience rejection. A fear of rejection is based in a distrust in people. Perhaps you experienced betrayal in the past and are now fearful in trusting people or making friends. While this experience was painful, remember that not every friendship you have will betray you. Keep trying.\\nNot every rejection you experience reflects a rejection of you as a person. Someone may be distracted or unaware of you reaching out.\\nRemember that you don’t like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you, and that's okay.\\n2. Reaching Past Loneliness\\n2-1. Build your social skills.\\nPerhaps you feel lonely because you don’t feel confident in your social skills. Practice social skills such as smiling at other people, giving compliments, and making conversation with people you meet throughout the day (grocery clerk, barista, co-workers).\\nIf you’re in a new situation, reach out to someone else and start a conversation. Say “I’ve never been here before, have you? What’s it like?” Either the person can help you or you can find comfort in doing something new together.\\nRemember to communicate openness through body language. By hunching your shoulders, looking down, avoiding eye contact and crossing your body, you appear unapproachable. Smile, keep your posture open (uncross your legs or arms), lean in, and face the person who is speaking.\\nLook for things to affirm in others. Don’t just compliment someone’s appearance (\\\"I like your sweater\\\"), but instead say \\\"You always take the time to put together just the right accessories.\\\" If you know someone well enough, compliment them on their kindness or intelligence.\\nLearn more ways to improve your social skills more by checking out How to Improve Social Skills.\\n2-2. Be a good listener.\\nInteracting with other people isn’t just about knowing the right thing to say. Hone your listening skills by giving your full attention to the person speaking. Don’t try and plan the perfect response or wait to find your entry point; this puts the focus on you and not the person speaking. Instead, encourage the person to keep talking and show interest in what is being said.\\nNon-verbally communicate your listening skills by nodding your head, making eye contact, and giving small feedback like saying, “I see,” or, “uh huh.”\\nFor more tips on how to build listening skills, check out How to Be a Good Listener.\\n2-3. Meet people in your community.\\nFind people with whom you have common interests and with whom you can get along. Ask questions to get to know someone (ask about family, pets, interests, etc.), and make sure people want to get to know you back by asking questions of you.\\nMeet people by volunteering. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal sanctuary or an animal shelter. You’re bound to meet other people who love animals and you have something immediately connecting you.\\nFind common interest groups in your community. If you are interested in knitting, chances are there are people around you that also share that interest. Do a little internet research and find a group that you can join.\\nWant more information on how to make friends? Check out How to Make Friends.\\n2-4. Make good friends.\\nIt’s important to have solid friendships in the town where you live. Friendships help boost your mood, reduce stress, and give you lifelong support. Look for friends that you trust, are loyal, and encourage you. And make sure you live out the values you look for in a friend, too, by being a trusting, loyal, and encouraging person to the friends in your life.\\nBe genuine. if you cannot \\\"be yourself’ around your friends, chances are they are not your friends. Friends will appreciate you for you, quirks and all. If you struggle to connect with one person or feel like you are trying too hard, move on and make a new friend.\\nPractice being the friend you want to have. Think about the qualities you want in a friend, and do those things for the people in your life.\\n2-5. Adopt a pet.\\nAdopting a dog or cat (or other pet) from an animal shelter can mean major health benefits for you, especially companionship. Humans that have dogs tend to have lower levels of depression, are able to cope with stress better, and show lower levels of anxiety.\\nGo to the local animal shelter and help to socialize a dog or cat that has lost their family and is alone. If you are able, you may wish to adopt a dog.\\nOf course, adopting a dog is a big responsibility. Make sure you can adjust your schedule around a new pet in order to give your pet a loving and fulfilling life.\\n2-6. Engage in therapy.\\nSometimes the pain of loneliness can take a toll and make it difficult to move forward on your own. A therapist can help you work through social anxiety, understand past feelings of betrayal and distrust, improve your social skills, and offer support in moving forward. Reaching out to a therapist can be an empowering first step in committing to the life you want for yourself.\\nFor more information, check out How to Choose a Therapist.\\nTips\\nGreet people who don't expect it and give a friendly smile and a kind word: the person in the toll booth, the grocery store clerk, the attendant at the parking lot. If time permits, ask how their day is going or engage in some other conversation.\\nCheck out activities your local library or community center. Many have programs, talks, and other events you can attend.\\nNotice when someone in your community experiences a death or a loss. Write a note to them. Later take them a meal and offer to listen to their stories. Really listen — don't talk about yourself.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid spending an inordinate amount of time online. While it might feel as if you are connecting with real people, it can be a very alienating experience when these people are not really there for you and you cannot really dialog with them in a way that normal, successful human relationships require. By all means make friends online, but don't do this to the detriment of your offline life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may be surprised to hear that 40% of the Americans report feeling lonely. Loneliness can affect our mental, emotional, and physical health by suppressing the immune system, increasing the risk for depression and anxiety, and distorting our perceptions. You may feel lonely if you live in a small town and can’t find friends your age. Sometimes loneliness is the result of recent life changes: a recent move to a new city, landing a new job, or attending a new school. When in the midst of big changes, realize that you may feel lonely for a moment. Whether loneliness is experienced for a short term or chronically, there are plenty of things you can do to become more at peace and work through feelings of loneliness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Coping with Loneliness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept that loneliness is not a fact, but a feeling.\", \"描述\": \"Loneliness can trigger feelings of abandonment, forlornness, or isolation. Recognize when these emotions are triggered, and remember that having a feeling doesn’t necessarily make it fact. You are not bound to feeling lonely.\\nFeelings can change quickly based on circumstances and attitudes. All these feelings are perhaps like bubbles in a pond which come and go. You may feel lonely one moment, then realize that you’d rather be by yourself than be with friends, or you may receive a phone call from a friend, relieving loneliness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embrace your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ignore your feelings; they can be important signals on what is going well or poorly in your life. As with all feelings, allow yourself to feel loneliness. Pay attention to how you feel when loneliness creeps up. Your body may feel heavy, or you may have an urge to cry. Allow yourself to feel the physical and emotional associations, and allow yourself to cry.\\nDon’t instinctively run from loneliness. Many people choose to distract themselves from loneliness by turning to T.V, work, projects, or other activities to avoid feeling the pain of loneliness. Instead, stay aware of your feelings (and the ways you cope) and determine to honor your body and emotions. Discard ignorance accept that you are lonely and try to find a solution, analyze your own self.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Change your attitude.\", \"描述\": \"When the thoughts “I’m lonely” or “I feel all alone” come across your mind, chances are you have a negative association with these feelings. It’s easy to spiral into negative thoughts from here: questioning your self-worth, feeling somehow less valuable or feeling emotionally or physically drained. Before heading down this rabbit hole, consider changing your attitude. Instead of labelling your experience as “lonely”, adopt the mindset of having solitude. Embrace having the opportunity to experience solitude as peaceful and restorative. When you learn to cherish your solitude you'll be able to handle the times when it’s just you.\\nUse your time to get to know yourself better: start a journal, meditate, and read books that interest you.\\nSometimes having more alone time is inevitable, such as when moving to a new city or country. Embrace the moments you have to experience solitude, and know that they will not last forever. Cherish the time you have to have a new experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice compassion.\", \"描述\": \"Realize that loneliness is a universal experience that affects every individual at one time or another. Loneliness is part of the human experience. Imagine having a friend tell you that she feels lonely. How would you respond? What would you say to her? Practice this same compassion toward yourself. Allow yourself to reach out to people and ask for support.\\nLoneliness is not shameful or embarrassing; it is a part of everyone’s life at some point, and there’s no need to feel bad about feeling lonely. Express compassion toward yourself, and express compassion toward other people who may feel lonely around you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Question what may be missing from your life.\", \"描述\": \"Loneliness can be a tool to show you what may be missing or what you may want more of in your life. You may be surrounded by people and social events yet still feel lonely. Loneliness may not be a lack of social contact, but a lack of intimate connections. Take some time to reflect upon what you would like to have in your life.\\nWrite down times when you feel lonely. Maybe you feel most lonely during large social events or when you are home alone. Then, consider what might alleviate that loneliness; maybe it would be having a friend go to events with you, or calling over your sister to watch a movie when you feel lonely at home. Come up with realistic solutions that you can enact (don’t make the solution to have a boyfriend or girlfriend to solve all of your loneliness).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Overcome shyness and insecurity.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that nobody is born with social skills, and that they are skills, not superpowers. Much of shyness/insecurity comes from false beliefs or fears about social performance. Your thoughts about being unlikeable or weird do not reflect reality; it is one perception. And remember, you don't have to be perfect in order to be likeable. When you feel socially insecure, start paying more attention to your external environment instead of your internal thoughts and feelings. Focus on the person/people you are talking to, and focus your attention on understanding and hearing out your company instead of yourself.\\nRealize that it’s okay to make social mistakes; everybody does!\\nPeople pay a lot less notice to your mistakes than you realize; most people are too focused on themselves and combatting social fears to notice your insecurities!\\nFor more information, read How to Not Be Shy.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Conquer your fear of rejection.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, it feels safer to avoid social situations than to experience rejection. A fear of rejection is based in a distrust in people. Perhaps you experienced betrayal in the past and are now fearful in trusting people or making friends. While this experience was painful, remember that not every friendship you have will betray you. Keep trying.\\nNot every rejection you experience reflects a rejection of you as a person. Someone may be distracted or unaware of you reaching out.\\nRemember that you don’t like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you, and that's okay.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reaching Past Loneliness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build your social skills.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you feel lonely because you don’t feel confident in your social skills. Practice social skills such as smiling at other people, giving compliments, and making conversation with people you meet throughout the day (grocery clerk, barista, co-workers).\\nIf you’re in a new situation, reach out to someone else and start a conversation. Say “I’ve never been here before, have you? What’s it like?” Either the person can help you or you can find comfort in doing something new together.\\nRemember to communicate openness through body language. By hunching your shoulders, looking down, avoiding eye contact and crossing your body, you appear unapproachable. Smile, keep your posture open (uncross your legs or arms), lean in, and face the person who is speaking.\\nLook for things to affirm in others. Don’t just compliment someone’s appearance (\\\"I like your sweater\\\"), but instead say \\\"You always take the time to put together just the right accessories.\\\" If you know someone well enough, compliment them on their kindness or intelligence.\\nLearn more ways to improve your social skills more by checking out How to Improve Social Skills.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be a good listener.\", \"描述\": \"Interacting with other people isn’t just about knowing the right thing to say. Hone your listening skills by giving your full attention to the person speaking. Don’t try and plan the perfect response or wait to find your entry point; this puts the focus on you and not the person speaking. Instead, encourage the person to keep talking and show interest in what is being said.\\nNon-verbally communicate your listening skills by nodding your head, making eye contact, and giving small feedback like saying, “I see,” or, “uh huh.”\\nFor more tips on how to build listening skills, check out How to Be a Good Listener.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meet people in your community.\", \"描述\": \"Find people with whom you have common interests and with whom you can get along. Ask questions to get to know someone (ask about family, pets, interests, etc.), and make sure people want to get to know you back by asking questions of you.\\nMeet people by volunteering. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal sanctuary or an animal shelter. You’re bound to meet other people who love animals and you have something immediately connecting you.\\nFind common interest groups in your community. If you are interested in knitting, chances are there are people around you that also share that interest. Do a little internet research and find a group that you can join.\\nWant more information on how to make friends? Check out How to Make Friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make good friends.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to have solid friendships in the town where you live. Friendships help boost your mood, reduce stress, and give you lifelong support. Look for friends that you trust, are loyal, and encourage you. And make sure you live out the values you look for in a friend, too, by being a trusting, loyal, and encouraging person to the friends in your life.\\nBe genuine. if you cannot \\\"be yourself’ around your friends, chances are they are not your friends. Friends will appreciate you for you, quirks and all. If you struggle to connect with one person or feel like you are trying too hard, move on and make a new friend.\\nPractice being the friend you want to have. Think about the qualities you want in a friend, and do those things for the people in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Adopt a pet.\", \"描述\": \"Adopting a dog or cat (or other pet) from an animal shelter can mean major health benefits for you, especially companionship. Humans that have dogs tend to have lower levels of depression, are able to cope with stress better, and show lower levels of anxiety.\\nGo to the local animal shelter and help to socialize a dog or cat that has lost their family and is alone. If you are able, you may wish to adopt a dog.\\nOf course, adopting a dog is a big responsibility. Make sure you can adjust your schedule around a new pet in order to give your pet a loving and fulfilling life.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Engage in therapy.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the pain of loneliness can take a toll and make it difficult to move forward on your own. A therapist can help you work through social anxiety, understand past feelings of betrayal and distrust, improve your social skills, and offer support in moving forward. Reaching out to a therapist can be an empowering first step in committing to the life you want for yourself.\\nFor more information, check out How to Choose a Therapist.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Greet people who don't expect it and give a friendly smile and a kind word: the person in the toll booth, the grocery store clerk, the attendant at the parking lot. If time permits, ask how their day is going or engage in some other conversation.\\n\", \"Check out activities your local library or community center. Many have programs, talks, and other events you can attend.\\n\", \"Notice when someone in your community experiences a death or a loss. Write a note to them. Later take them a meal and offer to listen to their stories. Really listen — don't talk about yourself.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid spending an inordinate amount of time online. While it might feel as if you are connecting with real people, it can be a very alienating experience when these people are not really there for you and you cannot really dialog with them in a way that normal, successful human relationships require. By all means make friends online, but don't do this to the detriment of your offline life.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
108 | How to Accept Love | 1. Accepting Love From Yourself
1-1. Understand self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the extension of acceptance and empathy to yourself. Self-compassion is crucial to your ability to love others and accept their love. According to researchers, self-compassion involves three elements:
Self-kindness. We’re sometimes taught that being accepting and understanding toward ourselves is selfish or narcissistic, but think about it: if a friend made a mistake, would you constantly remind them of how horrible they are, or would you try to be understanding of their error? Extend yourself the same kindness you would to others.
Common humanity. It can be easy to believe you’re the only one capable of imperfections and guilt, but making errors and experiencing pain are part of what makes us human. Understanding that you’re not the only person to make mistakes or feel hurt can help you feel more connected to those around you.
Mindfulness. Mindfulness has a lot in common with meditation: it’s the idea of recognizing and accepting an experience, without judgment, as you experience it. For example, if you frequently have the thought, “I’m so unattractive, nobody will love me,” a mindfulness approach might be something like, “I’m experiencing the feeling that I’m unattractive. This is just one of many feelings that I will have today.” Recognizing when you are having negative thoughts will help you move your thoughts elsewhere.
1-2. Understand some myths about self-compassion.
We are often taught that accepting ourselves is self-indulgent or egocentric, or -- worse yet -- lazy. Instead, we are told that perfectionism and self-criticism are healthy and productive. In fact, they’re not; they are usually based in fear.
Self-pity is different from self-compassion. Self-pity is the feeling of “poor me” that you may experience when things don’t go your way; for example, “My colleague got more of the credit for our project than I did. Nothing ever works out for me.” Self-pity focuses only on your problems and often creates feelings of inadequacy. A self-compassionate thought might be, “My colleague and I worked hard on that project, and I feel that I did a good job. I can’t control how others respond to our work.”
Self-compassion isn’t laziness. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t want to improve yourself. It just means that you won’t be cruel to yourself when you make mistakes. Practicing expressing love for yourself also helps you express it to others.
Beating yourself up is not the same as accepting responsibility for your mistakes. A self-compassionate person can still own up to mistakes they make without feeling that he or she is a terrible person. Research has shown that self-compassionate people are actually more likely to attempt self-improvement.
1-3. Understand the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem.
While these two sound similar, they have some crucial differences. Self-esteem is what you think and how you feel about yourself, and it’s important to being a healthy, happy person. However, it tends to be motivated by external validation: for example, you may feel attractive because someone compliments your looks. Self-compassion is about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness and understanding.
Psychology research has shown that self-esteem is not a reliable indicator of success or even capability. Sometimes, it’s the most confident people who know the least about a situation.
1-4. Reject shame.
Shame is the source of a lot of pain, and we’re very good at producing it. Shame is the profound, enduring belief that somehow, we aren’t worthy: of love, of time, of attention. However, shame is often not related to anything that is actually wrong with ourselves or our actions; it’s an internal judgment.
Try to be aware of your thoughts and feelings about yourself. Sometimes shame manifests itself as feeling that you don’t deserve love. Sometimes it presents itself as a fear that if we reveal our true selves, the other person will leave us. These feelings are common, but they are also very damaging. Try affirming to yourself that you do deserve love.
1-5. Practice self-acceptance.
This doesn’t come naturally to most people, because we’re often trained to see criticizing ourselves as something positive (for example, it drives one to work harder, improve oneself, etc.). However, there are steps you can take to work on improving your ability to accept yourself.
Point out your strengths to yourself. We’re used to making lists of failures, and humans tend to remember negative events and emotions more clearly than positive ones. Take some time each day to write down something positive about yourself. It doesn’t matter so much if you believe it at first. Make a habit of thinking about yourself in positive terms, and you’ll probably become less resistant to believing them.
Depersonalize your failures. It can be easy to think “I’m a failure” if you haven’t succeeded at something, but that kind of totalizing thinking devalues you and promotes feelings of shame. Instead, try thinking something like, “I didn’t succeed at _____, but I did the best I could.”
Remind yourself that you’re human. Perfectionism can have devastating consequences on the way we view ourselves. Try looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself: “I am a human being. Human beings are not perfect, and neither am I. That is okay.”
1-6. Understand that vulnerability, weakness, and mistakes are part of the human experience.
Sometimes, you will do something that you didn’t want to do. Perhaps you scored badly on a test, or hurt a friend’s feelings, or lost your temper with your boss. However, dwelling on those negative occurrences and shaming yourself about them keeps you from viewing them as learning experiences.
Instead, accept that whatever happened happened, apologize for it if you can, and come up with a plan of what you will do differently in the future.
Accepting your mistakes doesn’t mean pretending they didn’t happen. It doesn’t even mean not feeling bad that they happened. Taking responsibility for your actions acknowledges the mistakes, but focusing on what you can learn from them and how you can avoid them in the future transforms guilt into growth.
2. Accepting Love From Others
2-1. Understand where your hesitation to accept love comes from.
People have many reasons for not being comfortable accepting love from others. For some, it’s just a trait of their personality that they’d like to change. For others, a history of abuse or trauma may have required that the person shut down to protect themselves, making trusting someone else enough to accept their love nearly impossible. Understanding why you are having trouble accepting love will help you overcome that difficulty.
Some people are naturally more reserved than others. Don’t confuse emotional reserve with inability to accept or express love.
If you have previously been in relationships that ended badly, or if you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t offer you the same love and trust that you offered them, it can be hard to think about accepting love again.
It is natural for survivors of abuse to experience an inability to trust others. Trust is a difficult thing to re-learn, so take your time. Don’t feel guilty because you have trouble trusting people.
2-2. Become comfortable with vulnerability.
In order to achieve intimacy in relationships, whether they are with friends or with romantic partners, you need to be comfortable being vulnerable with the other person. It can be terrifying to accept this possibility, but researchers emphasize that without vulnerability human connection cannot happen.
For example, much of what drives a classic “fear of commitment” is the fear of being vulnerable and then being hurt. This often stems from a history of past experiences.
You can practice accepting vulnerability incrementally. Start with small gestures -- greeting a coworker, saying hello to a neighbor -- and accept that they may not be returned and that this is okay. You just need to practice putting yourself forward.
2-3. Assess the level of vulnerability you are comfortable with.
Especially if you haven’t had a lot of practice in accepting love from others, or if you’ve been hurt by loved ones in the past, you may need to take particular care in choosing what love you’re willing to accept and what level of vulnerability you are able to handle at this point in time.
For example, accepting an offer to go out for coffee with a coworker may represent a fairly low level of vulnerability for some people, but a high level for others. Deciding to try healing a friendship that fell apart represents a very high level of vulnerability.
You may need to start with small steps at first. That’s okay. You can build up to accepting greater levels of vulnerability as you become more comfortable with accepting love.
2-4. Give up the need to control.
Being in a relationship with another person, whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a romantic partner, means that you are connecting with unique person with feelings and thoughts of his or her own. You cannot, and should not, control other people’s actions and emotions, and trying to do so can end up hurting everyone in the relationship. Accepting that you can’t control the other person means accepting the possibility that they may hurt you, but it also means that you may find out how truly loving they can be when allowed to express themselves.
2-5. Find people who accept you as you are.
Accepting yourself can be hard if the people you surround yourself with are constantly criticizing you or asking you to change. It will be much easier to accept love from friends and romantic partners who accept you for who you are, do not constantly criticize or shame you, and do not set conditions on their love for you.
That said, however, a true friend will do their best to steer you away from destructive behavior. Be careful not to confuse "my friends love me just the way I am" with "my friends let me get away with anything".
2-6. Embrace your right to say “no.”
While many studies show that individuals who are open to vulnerability and accepting love from others tend to be happier and healthier people, you are not required to accept love from everyone. Always remember that you can and should ask others to respect your boundaries.
The other person should respect the boundaries you set. People who routinely ignore or reject your requests may not be genuinely interested in your feelings.
2-7. Learn to recognize when “love” is actually emotional abuse.
Sometimes, individuals attempt to control other people by manipulating their feelings of love. There are many forms that emotional abuse can take, but learning to recognize these warning signs will help you determine when the offer of love is something that will enrich your life and when it’s an attempt to manipulate you.
A common abusive tactic is to make love conditional based on something that you do. This can manifest as manipulations such as “If you really loved me you would….” or “I love you, but…”
Another abusive tactic is to threaten the withdrawal of love to get a desired behavior; for example, “If you don’t do ____, I won’t love you anymore.”
Abusers may also play on your own insecurities to convince you to obey them, such as telling you that “nobody will love you the way I do” or “nobody will want you if I leave you.”
If you experience any of these in your relationship, consider seeking counseling or other assistance. Emotional abuse is not normal, and you don’t deserve it.
Tips
As with any other skill, learning to accept love takes time and practice. You may not feel like opening your heart to the entire world immediately, and that’s all right.
The more you practice accepting and loving yourself, the better you will get at accepting love from others.
Warnings
Individuals who attempt to manipulate or control you by using “love” as a weapon or threat are engaging in emotional abuse. You do not deserve this, and there are resources that can help, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women, and the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Love From Yourself\\n1-1. Understand self-compassion.\\nSelf-compassion is the extension of acceptance and empathy to yourself. Self-compassion is crucial to your ability to love others and accept their love. According to researchers, self-compassion involves three elements:\\nSelf-kindness. We’re sometimes taught that being accepting and understanding toward ourselves is selfish or narcissistic, but think about it: if a friend made a mistake, would you constantly remind them of how horrible they are, or would you try to be understanding of their error? Extend yourself the same kindness you would to others.\\nCommon humanity. It can be easy to believe you’re the only one capable of imperfections and guilt, but making errors and experiencing pain are part of what makes us human. Understanding that you’re not the only person to make mistakes or feel hurt can help you feel more connected to those around you.\\nMindfulness. Mindfulness has a lot in common with meditation: it’s the idea of recognizing and accepting an experience, without judgment, as you experience it. For example, if you frequently have the thought, “I’m so unattractive, nobody will love me,” a mindfulness approach might be something like, “I’m experiencing the feeling that I’m unattractive. This is just one of many feelings that I will have today.” Recognizing when you are having negative thoughts will help you move your thoughts elsewhere.\\n1-2. Understand some myths about self-compassion.\\nWe are often taught that accepting ourselves is self-indulgent or egocentric, or -- worse yet -- lazy. Instead, we are told that perfectionism and self-criticism are healthy and productive. In fact, they’re not; they are usually based in fear.\\nSelf-pity is different from self-compassion. Self-pity is the feeling of “poor me” that you may experience when things don’t go your way; for example, “My colleague got more of the credit for our project than I did. Nothing ever works out for me.” Self-pity focuses only on your problems and often creates feelings of inadequacy. A self-compassionate thought might be, “My colleague and I worked hard on that project, and I feel that I did a good job. I can’t control how others respond to our work.”\\nSelf-compassion isn’t laziness. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t want to improve yourself. It just means that you won’t be cruel to yourself when you make mistakes. Practicing expressing love for yourself also helps you express it to others.\\nBeating yourself up is not the same as accepting responsibility for your mistakes. A self-compassionate person can still own up to mistakes they make without feeling that he or she is a terrible person. Research has shown that self-compassionate people are actually more likely to attempt self-improvement.\\n1-3. Understand the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem.\\nWhile these two sound similar, they have some crucial differences. Self-esteem is what you think and how you feel about yourself, and it’s important to being a healthy, happy person. However, it tends to be motivated by external validation: for example, you may feel attractive because someone compliments your looks. Self-compassion is about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness and understanding.\\nPsychology research has shown that self-esteem is not a reliable indicator of success or even capability. Sometimes, it’s the most confident people who know the least about a situation.\\n1-4. Reject shame.\\nShame is the source of a lot of pain, and we’re very good at producing it. Shame is the profound, enduring belief that somehow, we aren’t worthy: of love, of time, of attention. However, shame is often not related to anything that is actually wrong with ourselves or our actions; it’s an internal judgment. \\nTry to be aware of your thoughts and feelings about yourself. Sometimes shame manifests itself as feeling that you don’t deserve love. Sometimes it presents itself as a fear that if we reveal our true selves, the other person will leave us. These feelings are common, but they are also very damaging. Try affirming to yourself that you do deserve love.\\n1-5. Practice self-acceptance.\\nThis doesn’t come naturally to most people, because we’re often trained to see criticizing ourselves as something positive (for example, it drives one to work harder, improve oneself, etc.). However, there are steps you can take to work on improving your ability to accept yourself.\\nPoint out your strengths to yourself. We’re used to making lists of failures, and humans tend to remember negative events and emotions more clearly than positive ones. Take some time each day to write down something positive about yourself. It doesn’t matter so much if you believe it at first. Make a habit of thinking about yourself in positive terms, and you’ll probably become less resistant to believing them.\\nDepersonalize your failures. It can be easy to think “I’m a failure” if you haven’t succeeded at something, but that kind of totalizing thinking devalues you and promotes feelings of shame. Instead, try thinking something like, “I didn’t succeed at _____, but I did the best I could.”\\nRemind yourself that you’re human. Perfectionism can have devastating consequences on the way we view ourselves. Try looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself: “I am a human being. Human beings are not perfect, and neither am I. That is okay.”\\n1-6. Understand that vulnerability, weakness, and mistakes are part of the human experience.\\nSometimes, you will do something that you didn’t want to do. Perhaps you scored badly on a test, or hurt a friend’s feelings, or lost your temper with your boss. However, dwelling on those negative occurrences and shaming yourself about them keeps you from viewing them as learning experiences.\\nInstead, accept that whatever happened happened, apologize for it if you can, and come up with a plan of what you will do differently in the future.\\nAccepting your mistakes doesn’t mean pretending they didn’t happen. It doesn’t even mean not feeling bad that they happened. Taking responsibility for your actions acknowledges the mistakes, but focusing on what you can learn from them and how you can avoid them in the future transforms guilt into growth.\\n2. Accepting Love From Others\\n2-1. Understand where your hesitation to accept love comes from.\\nPeople have many reasons for not being comfortable accepting love from others. For some, it’s just a trait of their personality that they’d like to change. For others, a history of abuse or trauma may have required that the person shut down to protect themselves, making trusting someone else enough to accept their love nearly impossible. Understanding why you are having trouble accepting love will help you overcome that difficulty.\\nSome people are naturally more reserved than others. Don’t confuse emotional reserve with inability to accept or express love.\\nIf you have previously been in relationships that ended badly, or if you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t offer you the same love and trust that you offered them, it can be hard to think about accepting love again.\\nIt is natural for survivors of abuse to experience an inability to trust others. Trust is a difficult thing to re-learn, so take your time. Don’t feel guilty because you have trouble trusting people.\\n2-2. Become comfortable with vulnerability.\\nIn order to achieve intimacy in relationships, whether they are with friends or with romantic partners, you need to be comfortable being vulnerable with the other person. It can be terrifying to accept this possibility, but researchers emphasize that without vulnerability human connection cannot happen.\\nFor example, much of what drives a classic “fear of commitment” is the fear of being vulnerable and then being hurt. This often stems from a history of past experiences.\\nYou can practice accepting vulnerability incrementally. Start with small gestures -- greeting a coworker, saying hello to a neighbor -- and accept that they may not be returned and that this is okay. You just need to practice putting yourself forward.\\n2-3. Assess the level of vulnerability you are comfortable with.\\nEspecially if you haven’t had a lot of practice in accepting love from others, or if you’ve been hurt by loved ones in the past, you may need to take particular care in choosing what love you’re willing to accept and what level of vulnerability you are able to handle at this point in time.\\nFor example, accepting an offer to go out for coffee with a coworker may represent a fairly low level of vulnerability for some people, but a high level for others. Deciding to try healing a friendship that fell apart represents a very high level of vulnerability.\\nYou may need to start with small steps at first. That’s okay. You can build up to accepting greater levels of vulnerability as you become more comfortable with accepting love.\\n2-4. Give up the need to control.\\nBeing in a relationship with another person, whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a romantic partner, means that you are connecting with unique person with feelings and thoughts of his or her own. You cannot, and should not, control other people’s actions and emotions, and trying to do so can end up hurting everyone in the relationship. Accepting that you can’t control the other person means accepting the possibility that they may hurt you, but it also means that you may find out how truly loving they can be when allowed to express themselves.\\n2-5. Find people who accept you as you are.\\nAccepting yourself can be hard if the people you surround yourself with are constantly criticizing you or asking you to change. It will be much easier to accept love from friends and romantic partners who accept you for who you are, do not constantly criticize or shame you, and do not set conditions on their love for you.\\nThat said, however, a true friend will do their best to steer you away from destructive behavior. Be careful not to confuse \\\"my friends love me just the way I am\\\" with \\\"my friends let me get away with anything\\\".\\n2-6. Embrace your right to say “no.”\\nWhile many studies show that individuals who are open to vulnerability and accepting love from others tend to be happier and healthier people, you are not required to accept love from everyone. Always remember that you can and should ask others to respect your boundaries.\\nThe other person should respect the boundaries you set. People who routinely ignore or reject your requests may not be genuinely interested in your feelings.\\n2-7. Learn to recognize when “love” is actually emotional abuse.\\nSometimes, individuals attempt to control other people by manipulating their feelings of love. There are many forms that emotional abuse can take, but learning to recognize these warning signs will help you determine when the offer of love is something that will enrich your life and when it’s an attempt to manipulate you.\\nA common abusive tactic is to make love conditional based on something that you do. This can manifest as manipulations such as “If you really loved me you would….” or “I love you, but…”\\nAnother abusive tactic is to threaten the withdrawal of love to get a desired behavior; for example, “If you don’t do ____, I won’t love you anymore.”\\nAbusers may also play on your own insecurities to convince you to obey them, such as telling you that “nobody will love you the way I do” or “nobody will want you if I leave you.”\\nIf you experience any of these in your relationship, consider seeking counseling or other assistance. Emotional abuse is not normal, and you don’t deserve it.\\nTips\\nAs with any other skill, learning to accept love takes time and practice. You may not feel like opening your heart to the entire world immediately, and that’s all right.\\nThe more you practice accepting and loving yourself, the better you will get at accepting love from others.\\nWarnings\\nIndividuals who attempt to manipulate or control you by using “love” as a weapon or threat are engaging in emotional abuse. You do not deserve this, and there are resources that can help, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women, and the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many reasons why you might be uncomfortable accepting love. Perhaps you're afraid that you may be hurt if you accept someone's love. You may have trouble loving yourself, so you see yourself as unworthy of another person's love. No matter your reason for being afraid to accept love, there are things you can do to help you open yourself up to the possibilities that come with loving and being loved.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Love From Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand self-compassion.\", \"描述\": \"Self-compassion is the extension of acceptance and empathy to yourself. Self-compassion is crucial to your ability to love others and accept their love. According to researchers, self-compassion involves three elements:\\nSelf-kindness. We’re sometimes taught that being accepting and understanding toward ourselves is selfish or narcissistic, but think about it: if a friend made a mistake, would you constantly remind them of how horrible they are, or would you try to be understanding of their error? Extend yourself the same kindness you would to others.\\nCommon humanity. It can be easy to believe you’re the only one capable of imperfections and guilt, but making errors and experiencing pain are part of what makes us human. Understanding that you’re not the only person to make mistakes or feel hurt can help you feel more connected to those around you.\\nMindfulness. Mindfulness has a lot in common with meditation: it’s the idea of recognizing and accepting an experience, without judgment, as you experience it. For example, if you frequently have the thought, “I’m so unattractive, nobody will love me,” a mindfulness approach might be something like, “I’m experiencing the feeling that I’m unattractive. This is just one of many feelings that I will have today.” Recognizing when you are having negative thoughts will help you move your thoughts elsewhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand some myths about self-compassion.\", \"描述\": \"We are often taught that accepting ourselves is self-indulgent or egocentric, or -- worse yet -- lazy. Instead, we are told that perfectionism and self-criticism are healthy and productive. In fact, they’re not; they are usually based in fear.\\nSelf-pity is different from self-compassion. Self-pity is the feeling of “poor me” that you may experience when things don’t go your way; for example, “My colleague got more of the credit for our project than I did. Nothing ever works out for me.” Self-pity focuses only on your problems and often creates feelings of inadequacy. A self-compassionate thought might be, “My colleague and I worked hard on that project, and I feel that I did a good job. I can’t control how others respond to our work.”\\nSelf-compassion isn’t laziness. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t want to improve yourself. It just means that you won’t be cruel to yourself when you make mistakes. Practicing expressing love for yourself also helps you express it to others.\\nBeating yourself up is not the same as accepting responsibility for your mistakes. A self-compassionate person can still own up to mistakes they make without feeling that he or she is a terrible person. Research has shown that self-compassionate people are actually more likely to attempt self-improvement.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understand the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem.\", \"描述\": \"While these two sound similar, they have some crucial differences. Self-esteem is what you think and how you feel about yourself, and it’s important to being a healthy, happy person. However, it tends to be motivated by external validation: for example, you may feel attractive because someone compliments your looks. Self-compassion is about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness and understanding.\\nPsychology research has shown that self-esteem is not a reliable indicator of success or even capability. Sometimes, it’s the most confident people who know the least about a situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reject shame.\", \"描述\": \"Shame is the source of a lot of pain, and we’re very good at producing it. Shame is the profound, enduring belief that somehow, we aren’t worthy: of love, of time, of attention. However, shame is often not related to anything that is actually wrong with ourselves or our actions; it’s an internal judgment. \\nTry to be aware of your thoughts and feelings about yourself. Sometimes shame manifests itself as feeling that you don’t deserve love. Sometimes it presents itself as a fear that if we reveal our true selves, the other person will leave us. These feelings are common, but they are also very damaging. Try affirming to yourself that you do deserve love.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice self-acceptance.\", \"描述\": \"This doesn’t come naturally to most people, because we’re often trained to see criticizing ourselves as something positive (for example, it drives one to work harder, improve oneself, etc.). However, there are steps you can take to work on improving your ability to accept yourself.\\nPoint out your strengths to yourself. We’re used to making lists of failures, and humans tend to remember negative events and emotions more clearly than positive ones. Take some time each day to write down something positive about yourself. It doesn’t matter so much if you believe it at first. Make a habit of thinking about yourself in positive terms, and you’ll probably become less resistant to believing them.\\nDepersonalize your failures. It can be easy to think “I’m a failure” if you haven’t succeeded at something, but that kind of totalizing thinking devalues you and promotes feelings of shame. Instead, try thinking something like, “I didn’t succeed at _____, but I did the best I could.”\\nRemind yourself that you’re human. Perfectionism can have devastating consequences on the way we view ourselves. Try looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself: “I am a human being. Human beings are not perfect, and neither am I. That is okay.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Understand that vulnerability, weakness, and mistakes are part of the human experience.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you will do something that you didn’t want to do. Perhaps you scored badly on a test, or hurt a friend’s feelings, or lost your temper with your boss. However, dwelling on those negative occurrences and shaming yourself about them keeps you from viewing them as learning experiences.\\nInstead, accept that whatever happened happened, apologize for it if you can, and come up with a plan of what you will do differently in the future.\\nAccepting your mistakes doesn’t mean pretending they didn’t happen. It doesn’t even mean not feeling bad that they happened. Taking responsibility for your actions acknowledges the mistakes, but focusing on what you can learn from them and how you can avoid them in the future transforms guilt into growth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting Love From Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand where your hesitation to accept love comes from.\", \"描述\": \"People have many reasons for not being comfortable accepting love from others. For some, it’s just a trait of their personality that they’d like to change. For others, a history of abuse or trauma may have required that the person shut down to protect themselves, making trusting someone else enough to accept their love nearly impossible. Understanding why you are having trouble accepting love will help you overcome that difficulty.\\nSome people are naturally more reserved than others. Don’t confuse emotional reserve with inability to accept or express love.\\nIf you have previously been in relationships that ended badly, or if you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t offer you the same love and trust that you offered them, it can be hard to think about accepting love again.\\nIt is natural for survivors of abuse to experience an inability to trust others. Trust is a difficult thing to re-learn, so take your time. Don’t feel guilty because you have trouble trusting people.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Become comfortable with vulnerability.\", \"描述\": \"In order to achieve intimacy in relationships, whether they are with friends or with romantic partners, you need to be comfortable being vulnerable with the other person. It can be terrifying to accept this possibility, but researchers emphasize that without vulnerability human connection cannot happen.\\nFor example, much of what drives a classic “fear of commitment” is the fear of being vulnerable and then being hurt. This often stems from a history of past experiences.\\nYou can practice accepting vulnerability incrementally. Start with small gestures -- greeting a coworker, saying hello to a neighbor -- and accept that they may not be returned and that this is okay. You just need to practice putting yourself forward.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Assess the level of vulnerability you are comfortable with.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you haven’t had a lot of practice in accepting love from others, or if you’ve been hurt by loved ones in the past, you may need to take particular care in choosing what love you’re willing to accept and what level of vulnerability you are able to handle at this point in time.\\nFor example, accepting an offer to go out for coffee with a coworker may represent a fairly low level of vulnerability for some people, but a high level for others. Deciding to try healing a friendship that fell apart represents a very high level of vulnerability.\\nYou may need to start with small steps at first. That’s okay. You can build up to accepting greater levels of vulnerability as you become more comfortable with accepting love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give up the need to control.\", \"描述\": \"Being in a relationship with another person, whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a romantic partner, means that you are connecting with unique person with feelings and thoughts of his or her own. You cannot, and should not, control other people’s actions and emotions, and trying to do so can end up hurting everyone in the relationship. Accepting that you can’t control the other person means accepting the possibility that they may hurt you, but it also means that you may find out how truly loving they can be when allowed to express themselves.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find people who accept you as you are.\", \"描述\": \"Accepting yourself can be hard if the people you surround yourself with are constantly criticizing you or asking you to change. It will be much easier to accept love from friends and romantic partners who accept you for who you are, do not constantly criticize or shame you, and do not set conditions on their love for you.\\nThat said, however, a true friend will do their best to steer you away from destructive behavior. Be careful not to confuse \\\"my friends love me just the way I am\\\" with \\\"my friends let me get away with anything\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Embrace your right to say “no.”\", \"描述\": \"While many studies show that individuals who are open to vulnerability and accepting love from others tend to be happier and healthier people, you are not required to accept love from everyone. Always remember that you can and should ask others to respect your boundaries.\\nThe other person should respect the boundaries you set. People who routinely ignore or reject your requests may not be genuinely interested in your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Learn to recognize when “love” is actually emotional abuse.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, individuals attempt to control other people by manipulating their feelings of love. There are many forms that emotional abuse can take, but learning to recognize these warning signs will help you determine when the offer of love is something that will enrich your life and when it’s an attempt to manipulate you.\\nA common abusive tactic is to make love conditional based on something that you do. This can manifest as manipulations such as “If you really loved me you would….” or “I love you, but…”\\nAnother abusive tactic is to threaten the withdrawal of love to get a desired behavior; for example, “If you don’t do ____, I won’t love you anymore.”\\nAbusers may also play on your own insecurities to convince you to obey them, such as telling you that “nobody will love you the way I do” or “nobody will want you if I leave you.”\\nIf you experience any of these in your relationship, consider seeking counseling or other assistance. Emotional abuse is not normal, and you don’t deserve it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"As with any other skill, learning to accept love takes time and practice. You may not feel like opening your heart to the entire world immediately, and that’s all right.\\n\", \"The more you practice accepting and loving yourself, the better you will get at accepting love from others.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Individuals who attempt to manipulate or control you by using “love” as a weapon or threat are engaging in emotional abuse. You do not deserve this, and there are resources that can help, including the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women, and the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
109 | How to Accept Mistakes and Learn from Them | 1. Accepting Your Mistakes
1-1. Give yourself permission to mess up.
There are many reasons you should give yourself permission to make mistakes. Making mistakes is inevitable and part of being human. It's also a valuable source of instruction and will enrich your life. It can teach you to try new things and expand your horizons.
For example, you may want to learn how to cook. Starting out, say to yourself “I’m new at this cooking stuff and I’ll probably make mistakes. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process.”
Sometimes, the fear of making mistakes—perfectionism—can keep you from trying new things or completing projects because you're so afraid of not doing well that you can't bring yourself to act. Don't let this happen to you.
1-2. Acknowledge the force of habit.
Sometimes, mistakes are not caused by an effort on our part, but the lack of it. We can't exert maximum effort every single day in every element of our lives. Things that we do frequently, such as driving to work or making breakfast, can become so habitual that we don't focus on them. This is actually helpful, because it allows us to spend energy on other things that require more attention. However, sometimes this force of habit can lead us into making mistakes. Acknowledge that this is part of being a human with finite energy and attention resources.
For example, perhaps you drive the same way to work every day, 5 days a week. On the weekend, you are supposed to drive your kid to soccer practice, but you realize you've gone on “autopilot” and have started driving to work instead. This is a natural mistake, the result of habit. Beating yourself up for this mistake is unhelpful. Instead, acknowledge your slip-up and move on.
Studies suggest that you may be able to compensate for mistakes made on autopilot, even when you aren't aware of them consciously. Studies conducted with skilled typists suggest that you slow down when you make a mistake typing, even if you are not consciously aware of doing so.
Studies also suggest that about 47% of the time, people are “checked out”, or allowing their minds to wander from the task at hand. This is often when mistakes happen. If you find that you're frequently making mistakes due to “mind wandering,” consider trying some mindfulness exercises to bring your attention back to the present moment.
1-3. Distinguish between errors of commission and errors of omission.
Mistakes aren't always the result of some effort you've made. Sometimes, you can make a mistake by not doing something, too. Laws generally distinguish between commission (doing something that shouldn't have been done) and omission (not doing something that should have been done), with commission usually being seen as more severe. Errors of omission are usually more common than errors of commission.
Errors of omission can still have an effect on your life, however. For example, if your company does not keep up with the latest developments in technology, it could impact your financial future.
It's important to acknowledge both types of mistakes, because you can learn from both of them. Some people try to avoid errors of commission by doing as little as possible and taking no responsibility, but this doesn't keep you from errors of omission, and it's also not a very helpful way to live or grow.
1-4. Distinguish between mistakes and bad decisions.
It's important to know the difference between mistakes and bad decisions. Mistakes are simple errors, like reading a map wrong and taking the wrong exit. Bad decisions are more intentional, like taking the scenic route to a meeting and inconveniencing the other person by being late. Mistakes are understandable and may require less focus on correcting. You should accept bad decisions just like mistakes, but it pays to pay more attention to them.
1-5. Focus on your strengths as well.
It's important to avoid getting bogged down in what you're doing wrong. Try to balance self-criticism with celebrating what you do well. This can be celebrating things you're already good at or celebrating areas where you're seeing improvement. There's no point trying to improve if you can't appreciate the result of your efforts.
You may be new to cooking, but perhaps there's something that clicks instantly with you. Maybe you can tell just what spice a recipe needs simply by tasting. Give yourself credit for these strengths.
1-6. View mistakes as an opportunity.
There are mechanisms in the brain that help us detect when we do something wrong. The brain signals to us when we make an error. This can be really helpful during the learning process. Making mistakes can help us focus more closely on what we’re doing and try to do our absolute best.
Research even suggests that some experts, like doctors, can fail to correct mistakes because they trust their own judgment too much. There are benefits to being open to mistakes and viewing them as an opportunity, even after you've become really good at something.
1-7. Look at how long it takes to become an expert.
Research suggests that it can take ten years of experimenting with a skill and making mistakes to become truly good at it. This is true for everyone from the composer Mozart to the basketball player Kobe Bryant. Go easy on yourself if at first you don't succeed, because that's normal. It takes a lot of effort over a long period of time to achieve greatness at something.
1-8. Reframe decisions as experiments.
Part of the problem with not allowing yourself to make mistakes is thinking that you have to make the perfect decision every time. Instead of this unrealistic goal, try to reframe your decisions as experiments instead. An experiment may have good or bad consequences. You can still do your best to achieve good consequences, of course, but this will take some of the pressure off.
For example, with cooking, approach recipes with an experimental attitude. Avoid expecting the perfect dish. Instead, see it as an opportunity to experiment and learn more about the whole cooking process. This will help you avoid judging yourself for messing up, which you undoubtedly will at some point.
1-9. Discover how the brain deals with mistakes.
The brain actually has specific nerve cells that help us watch our performance, detect mistakes, and then learn from what we did wrong. The brain also has difficulty accepting that it has made an error, however. The brain can reframe an experience into something positive in order to avoid accepting that it has made a mistake. If you have difficulty recognizing and accepting your mistakes, this is probably why. Understanding how your brain deals with mistakes can help you be more aware of your own experience.
Your brain has essentially two responses to mistakes: problem-solving mode (“Why did this happen? How can I make it not happen again?”) and shut-down mode (“I’m going to ignore this mistake”). The problem-solving mode, unsurprisingly, helps you learn from your mistakes and correct them in the future. It is commonly seen in people who believe intelligence is flexible, and that everyone is capable of development. The shut-down mode is often seen when you believe that your intelligence is “fixed”: you're either good or bad at something, and that's that. This type of thinking keeps you from learning and growing.
1-10. Understand how society views mistakes.
We live in a society that's afraid of making mistakes. We grow up being encouraged to make as few mistakes as possible. People who manage to get ahead are those who take this seriously. Do well in high school and you'll get scholarships to university. Do well in university and you'll graduate with a high GPA and honors. There's little room for messing up. So if you have a hard time accepting your mistakes at first, go easy on yourself, because it's not all your fault. You've probably been taught to be hard on yourself.
Remind yourself that the belief that you must never make a mistake is flawed. Mistakes are the only way we learn; if you don't make (many) mistakes, it's because you already know something inside out and backwards. If you want to learn and grow, mistakes are part of the package.
Remind yourself that perfectionism holds you and others to unreasonable standards. Making a mistake does not make you “a failure” or negate your efforts. Relax your standards to allow room for mistakes—it's a more helpful, more effective way to pursue excellence.
2. Learning from Your Mistakes
2-1. Correct your mistakes.
Mistakes can help you learn, but only if you make sure they are corrected. For example, if you use the wrong ingredient while cooking, be sure to ask your mother or a knowledgeable person about the correct way to use the ingredient, so that you can revise the information in your memory.
2-2. Keep a journal of your mistakes and successes.
It can be helpful to write down when, where, and how you're making mistakes in your life. This will create additional awareness of your patterns, which may be difficult to notice in the heat of the moment. Carry a small pocket journal around with you and make note of times that you did something wrong. Review the entries later when you have free time, and explore options for what you could have done differently.
For example, if you're working on a new recipe and things keep going poorly, make a note of where you're messing up. Think about it later that evening and see if you can come up with ways to prepare the dish differently.
You should also keep track of your successes. You will be more motivated to continue learning despite making mistakes if you can track your progress over time and celebrate what you're good at. A solely negative focus is unhelpful.
2-3. Focus on “get-better” goals rather than “be-good” goals.
“Be-good” goals set unrealistic expectations for yourself, especially if you're just starting out with an activity. If you set “be-good” goals, you are raising the stakes and telling yourself that you need to succeed in order to be a good person. “Get-better” goals, on the other hand, are all about improvement. With these goals, you don't need ridiculously high achievements in order to feel good about yourself. You're aiming for improvement, not perfection.
For example, focus on the “get-better” goal of learning how different spices affect the taste of food, rather than the “be-good” goal of being a master chef right off the bat.
2-4. Engage in deliberate practice.
Time isn't the only ingredient necessary to learn from your mistakes. You will also benefit from going forward with a specific purpose. This is why it's important that you locate your mistakes and the reasons behind them. Being aware of what you're doing wrong, and why, will help you create a plan to practice and increase your competence.
For example, if you're trying to perfect a basic cooking skill like boiling pasta, do it over and over until you get the timing right. It may take a while to get the desired softness of the pasta, but the more you practice, the closer you will get.
2-5. Ask for help.
There's no shame in asking for help with something you haven't gotten the hang of yet. Putting your ego aside and learning from someone who has more experience than you is a great way to improve, especially if you find yourself in a rut and don't know how to proceed.
For example, ask a chef at your favorite restaurant or a family member with a lot of cooking experience if you are having trouble with a cooking basic.
2-6. Believe in your abilities.
Research suggests that people who believe they can learn from mistakes are actually more likely to learn from mistakes. Knowing that it's possible for you to learn from mistakes is a good step toward actually doing it.
After a mistake such as burning a dish, tell yourself “I can learn from this. It’s possible to use this experience. Now I know to use a lower oven temperature.”
2-7. Know that reasons are not the same as excuses.
We’re told not to make excuses for our mistakes, but that's different from knowing about the reasons for our mistakes. If a meal you are cooking doesn't come out right, it's okay to recognize the fact that you made a mistake such as not following the recipe closely enough or reaching for the salt instead of sugar. That's a reason, not an excuse. Searching for the reasons behind your mistakes can help you do better in the future, because it will show you where you went wrong. Some more reasons to look out for:
Being late to events because of not getting up early enough.
Getting written up for messing up a project because you didn't ask for clarification.
Failing a test because you neglected to study, or didn't prioritize your studying well.
2-8. Give yourself time.
Sometimes all it takes to learn from a mistake is one pass. This isn't always the case, however. Many times, in order to learn from a mistake, we have to make it several times over. It can be difficult to catch on at first, so give yourself leeway to make the same mistake a few times before getting frustrated.
Tips
Forgive yourself if you keep making the same mistake. It's okay to have one area that gives you a lot of difficulty.
Warnings
Avoid thinking you're immune to mistakes, even if you're good at something. This can make it harder for you if you do mess up.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting Your Mistakes\\n1-1. Give yourself permission to mess up.\\nThere are many reasons you should give yourself permission to make mistakes. Making mistakes is inevitable and part of being human. It's also a valuable source of instruction and will enrich your life. It can teach you to try new things and expand your horizons.\\nFor example, you may want to learn how to cook. Starting out, say to yourself “I’m new at this cooking stuff and I’ll probably make mistakes. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process.”\\nSometimes, the fear of making mistakes—perfectionism—can keep you from trying new things or completing projects because you're so afraid of not doing well that you can't bring yourself to act. Don't let this happen to you.\\n1-2. Acknowledge the force of habit.\\nSometimes, mistakes are not caused by an effort on our part, but the lack of it. We can't exert maximum effort every single day in every element of our lives. Things that we do frequently, such as driving to work or making breakfast, can become so habitual that we don't focus on them. This is actually helpful, because it allows us to spend energy on other things that require more attention. However, sometimes this force of habit can lead us into making mistakes. Acknowledge that this is part of being a human with finite energy and attention resources.\\nFor example, perhaps you drive the same way to work every day, 5 days a week. On the weekend, you are supposed to drive your kid to soccer practice, but you realize you've gone on “autopilot” and have started driving to work instead. This is a natural mistake, the result of habit. Beating yourself up for this mistake is unhelpful. Instead, acknowledge your slip-up and move on.\\nStudies suggest that you may be able to compensate for mistakes made on autopilot, even when you aren't aware of them consciously. Studies conducted with skilled typists suggest that you slow down when you make a mistake typing, even if you are not consciously aware of doing so.\\nStudies also suggest that about 47% of the time, people are “checked out”, or allowing their minds to wander from the task at hand. This is often when mistakes happen. If you find that you're frequently making mistakes due to “mind wandering,” consider trying some mindfulness exercises to bring your attention back to the present moment.\\n1-3. Distinguish between errors of commission and errors of omission.\\nMistakes aren't always the result of some effort you've made. Sometimes, you can make a mistake by not doing something, too. Laws generally distinguish between commission (doing something that shouldn't have been done) and omission (not doing something that should have been done), with commission usually being seen as more severe. Errors of omission are usually more common than errors of commission.\\nErrors of omission can still have an effect on your life, however. For example, if your company does not keep up with the latest developments in technology, it could impact your financial future.\\nIt's important to acknowledge both types of mistakes, because you can learn from both of them. Some people try to avoid errors of commission by doing as little as possible and taking no responsibility, but this doesn't keep you from errors of omission, and it's also not a very helpful way to live or grow.\\n1-4. Distinguish between mistakes and bad decisions.\\nIt's important to know the difference between mistakes and bad decisions. Mistakes are simple errors, like reading a map wrong and taking the wrong exit. Bad decisions are more intentional, like taking the scenic route to a meeting and inconveniencing the other person by being late. Mistakes are understandable and may require less focus on correcting. You should accept bad decisions just like mistakes, but it pays to pay more attention to them.\\n1-5. Focus on your strengths as well.\\nIt's important to avoid getting bogged down in what you're doing wrong. Try to balance self-criticism with celebrating what you do well. This can be celebrating things you're already good at or celebrating areas where you're seeing improvement. There's no point trying to improve if you can't appreciate the result of your efforts.\\nYou may be new to cooking, but perhaps there's something that clicks instantly with you. Maybe you can tell just what spice a recipe needs simply by tasting. Give yourself credit for these strengths.\\n1-6. View mistakes as an opportunity.\\nThere are mechanisms in the brain that help us detect when we do something wrong. The brain signals to us when we make an error. This can be really helpful during the learning process. Making mistakes can help us focus more closely on what we’re doing and try to do our absolute best.\\nResearch even suggests that some experts, like doctors, can fail to correct mistakes because they trust their own judgment too much. There are benefits to being open to mistakes and viewing them as an opportunity, even after you've become really good at something.\\n1-7. Look at how long it takes to become an expert.\\nResearch suggests that it can take ten years of experimenting with a skill and making mistakes to become truly good at it. This is true for everyone from the composer Mozart to the basketball player Kobe Bryant. Go easy on yourself if at first you don't succeed, because that's normal. It takes a lot of effort over a long period of time to achieve greatness at something.\\n1-8. Reframe decisions as experiments.\\nPart of the problem with not allowing yourself to make mistakes is thinking that you have to make the perfect decision every time. Instead of this unrealistic goal, try to reframe your decisions as experiments instead. An experiment may have good or bad consequences. You can still do your best to achieve good consequences, of course, but this will take some of the pressure off.\\nFor example, with cooking, approach recipes with an experimental attitude. Avoid expecting the perfect dish. Instead, see it as an opportunity to experiment and learn more about the whole cooking process. This will help you avoid judging yourself for messing up, which you undoubtedly will at some point.\\n1-9. Discover how the brain deals with mistakes.\\nThe brain actually has specific nerve cells that help us watch our performance, detect mistakes, and then learn from what we did wrong. The brain also has difficulty accepting that it has made an error, however. The brain can reframe an experience into something positive in order to avoid accepting that it has made a mistake. If you have difficulty recognizing and accepting your mistakes, this is probably why. Understanding how your brain deals with mistakes can help you be more aware of your own experience.\\nYour brain has essentially two responses to mistakes: problem-solving mode (“Why did this happen? How can I make it not happen again?”) and shut-down mode (“I’m going to ignore this mistake”). The problem-solving mode, unsurprisingly, helps you learn from your mistakes and correct them in the future. It is commonly seen in people who believe intelligence is flexible, and that everyone is capable of development. The shut-down mode is often seen when you believe that your intelligence is “fixed”: you're either good or bad at something, and that's that. This type of thinking keeps you from learning and growing.\\n1-10. Understand how society views mistakes.\\nWe live in a society that's afraid of making mistakes. We grow up being encouraged to make as few mistakes as possible. People who manage to get ahead are those who take this seriously. Do well in high school and you'll get scholarships to university. Do well in university and you'll graduate with a high GPA and honors. There's little room for messing up. So if you have a hard time accepting your mistakes at first, go easy on yourself, because it's not all your fault. You've probably been taught to be hard on yourself.\\nRemind yourself that the belief that you must never make a mistake is flawed. Mistakes are the only way we learn; if you don't make (many) mistakes, it's because you already know something inside out and backwards. If you want to learn and grow, mistakes are part of the package.\\nRemind yourself that perfectionism holds you and others to unreasonable standards. Making a mistake does not make you “a failure” or negate your efforts. Relax your standards to allow room for mistakes—it's a more helpful, more effective way to pursue excellence.\\n2. Learning from Your Mistakes\\n2-1. Correct your mistakes.\\nMistakes can help you learn, but only if you make sure they are corrected. For example, if you use the wrong ingredient while cooking, be sure to ask your mother or a knowledgeable person about the correct way to use the ingredient, so that you can revise the information in your memory.\\n2-2. Keep a journal of your mistakes and successes.\\nIt can be helpful to write down when, where, and how you're making mistakes in your life. This will create additional awareness of your patterns, which may be difficult to notice in the heat of the moment. Carry a small pocket journal around with you and make note of times that you did something wrong. Review the entries later when you have free time, and explore options for what you could have done differently.\\nFor example, if you're working on a new recipe and things keep going poorly, make a note of where you're messing up. Think about it later that evening and see if you can come up with ways to prepare the dish differently.\\nYou should also keep track of your successes. You will be more motivated to continue learning despite making mistakes if you can track your progress over time and celebrate what you're good at. A solely negative focus is unhelpful.\\n2-3. Focus on “get-better” goals rather than “be-good” goals.\\n“Be-good” goals set unrealistic expectations for yourself, especially if you're just starting out with an activity. If you set “be-good” goals, you are raising the stakes and telling yourself that you need to succeed in order to be a good person. “Get-better” goals, on the other hand, are all about improvement. With these goals, you don't need ridiculously high achievements in order to feel good about yourself. You're aiming for improvement, not perfection.\\nFor example, focus on the “get-better” goal of learning how different spices affect the taste of food, rather than the “be-good” goal of being a master chef right off the bat.\\n2-4. Engage in deliberate practice.\\nTime isn't the only ingredient necessary to learn from your mistakes. You will also benefit from going forward with a specific purpose. This is why it's important that you locate your mistakes and the reasons behind them. Being aware of what you're doing wrong, and why, will help you create a plan to practice and increase your competence.\\nFor example, if you're trying to perfect a basic cooking skill like boiling pasta, do it over and over until you get the timing right. It may take a while to get the desired softness of the pasta, but the more you practice, the closer you will get.\\n2-5. Ask for help.\\nThere's no shame in asking for help with something you haven't gotten the hang of yet. Putting your ego aside and learning from someone who has more experience than you is a great way to improve, especially if you find yourself in a rut and don't know how to proceed.\\nFor example, ask a chef at your favorite restaurant or a family member with a lot of cooking experience if you are having trouble with a cooking basic.\\n2-6. Believe in your abilities.\\nResearch suggests that people who believe they can learn from mistakes are actually more likely to learn from mistakes. Knowing that it's possible for you to learn from mistakes is a good step toward actually doing it.\\nAfter a mistake such as burning a dish, tell yourself “I can learn from this. It’s possible to use this experience. Now I know to use a lower oven temperature.”\\n2-7. Know that reasons are not the same as excuses.\\nWe’re told not to make excuses for our mistakes, but that's different from knowing about the reasons for our mistakes. If a meal you are cooking doesn't come out right, it's okay to recognize the fact that you made a mistake such as not following the recipe closely enough or reaching for the salt instead of sugar. That's a reason, not an excuse. Searching for the reasons behind your mistakes can help you do better in the future, because it will show you where you went wrong. Some more reasons to look out for:\\nBeing late to events because of not getting up early enough.\\nGetting written up for messing up a project because you didn't ask for clarification.\\nFailing a test because you neglected to study, or didn't prioritize your studying well.\\n2-8. Give yourself time.\\nSometimes all it takes to learn from a mistake is one pass. This isn't always the case, however. Many times, in order to learn from a mistake, we have to make it several times over. It can be difficult to catch on at first, so give yourself leeway to make the same mistake a few times before getting frustrated.\\nTips\\nForgive yourself if you keep making the same mistake. It's okay to have one area that gives you a lot of difficulty.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid thinking you're immune to mistakes, even if you're good at something. This can make it harder for you if you do mess up.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you have trouble accepting yourself when you make mistakes? Do you find it hard to learn from your mistakes, so that you keep falling into the same old habits? It can be challenging to accept that we've made mistakes, especially if we're coming from a perfectionistic background where \\\"excellence\\\" is confused with \\\"never making a mistake.\\\" Making a mistake is also sometimes different from failure; failure is a result of not succeeding at a conscious effort, but mistakes can be unconscious. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to be more accepting of your mistakes, and there are also techniques you can use to make the most of your mistakes.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting Your Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself permission to mess up.\", \"描述\": \"There are many reasons you should give yourself permission to make mistakes. Making mistakes is inevitable and part of being human. It's also a valuable source of instruction and will enrich your life. It can teach you to try new things and expand your horizons.\\nFor example, you may want to learn how to cook. Starting out, say to yourself “I’m new at this cooking stuff and I’ll probably make mistakes. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process.”\\nSometimes, the fear of making mistakes—perfectionism—can keep you from trying new things or completing projects because you're so afraid of not doing well that you can't bring yourself to act. Don't let this happen to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the force of habit.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, mistakes are not caused by an effort on our part, but the lack of it. We can't exert maximum effort every single day in every element of our lives. Things that we do frequently, such as driving to work or making breakfast, can become so habitual that we don't focus on them. This is actually helpful, because it allows us to spend energy on other things that require more attention. However, sometimes this force of habit can lead us into making mistakes. Acknowledge that this is part of being a human with finite energy and attention resources.\\nFor example, perhaps you drive the same way to work every day, 5 days a week. On the weekend, you are supposed to drive your kid to soccer practice, but you realize you've gone on “autopilot” and have started driving to work instead. This is a natural mistake, the result of habit. Beating yourself up for this mistake is unhelpful. Instead, acknowledge your slip-up and move on.\\nStudies suggest that you may be able to compensate for mistakes made on autopilot, even when you aren't aware of them consciously. Studies conducted with skilled typists suggest that you slow down when you make a mistake typing, even if you are not consciously aware of doing so.\\nStudies also suggest that about 47% of the time, people are “checked out”, or allowing their minds to wander from the task at hand. This is often when mistakes happen. If you find that you're frequently making mistakes due to “mind wandering,” consider trying some mindfulness exercises to bring your attention back to the present moment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Distinguish between errors of commission and errors of omission.\", \"描述\": \"Mistakes aren't always the result of some effort you've made. Sometimes, you can make a mistake by not doing something, too. Laws generally distinguish between commission (doing something that shouldn't have been done) and omission (not doing something that should have been done), with commission usually being seen as more severe. Errors of omission are usually more common than errors of commission.\\nErrors of omission can still have an effect on your life, however. For example, if your company does not keep up with the latest developments in technology, it could impact your financial future.\\nIt's important to acknowledge both types of mistakes, because you can learn from both of them. Some people try to avoid errors of commission by doing as little as possible and taking no responsibility, but this doesn't keep you from errors of omission, and it's also not a very helpful way to live or grow.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Distinguish between mistakes and bad decisions.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to know the difference between mistakes and bad decisions. Mistakes are simple errors, like reading a map wrong and taking the wrong exit. Bad decisions are more intentional, like taking the scenic route to a meeting and inconveniencing the other person by being late. Mistakes are understandable and may require less focus on correcting. You should accept bad decisions just like mistakes, but it pays to pay more attention to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Focus on your strengths as well.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to avoid getting bogged down in what you're doing wrong. Try to balance self-criticism with celebrating what you do well. This can be celebrating things you're already good at or celebrating areas where you're seeing improvement. There's no point trying to improve if you can't appreciate the result of your efforts.\\nYou may be new to cooking, but perhaps there's something that clicks instantly with you. Maybe you can tell just what spice a recipe needs simply by tasting. Give yourself credit for these strengths.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"View mistakes as an opportunity.\", \"描述\": \"There are mechanisms in the brain that help us detect when we do something wrong. The brain signals to us when we make an error. This can be really helpful during the learning process. Making mistakes can help us focus more closely on what we’re doing and try to do our absolute best.\\nResearch even suggests that some experts, like doctors, can fail to correct mistakes because they trust their own judgment too much. There are benefits to being open to mistakes and viewing them as an opportunity, even after you've become really good at something.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Look at how long it takes to become an expert.\", \"描述\": \"Research suggests that it can take ten years of experimenting with a skill and making mistakes to become truly good at it. This is true for everyone from the composer Mozart to the basketball player Kobe Bryant. Go easy on yourself if at first you don't succeed, because that's normal. It takes a lot of effort over a long period of time to achieve greatness at something.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Reframe decisions as experiments.\", \"描述\": \"Part of the problem with not allowing yourself to make mistakes is thinking that you have to make the perfect decision every time. Instead of this unrealistic goal, try to reframe your decisions as experiments instead. An experiment may have good or bad consequences. You can still do your best to achieve good consequences, of course, but this will take some of the pressure off.\\nFor example, with cooking, approach recipes with an experimental attitude. Avoid expecting the perfect dish. Instead, see it as an opportunity to experiment and learn more about the whole cooking process. This will help you avoid judging yourself for messing up, which you undoubtedly will at some point.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Discover how the brain deals with mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"The brain actually has specific nerve cells that help us watch our performance, detect mistakes, and then learn from what we did wrong. The brain also has difficulty accepting that it has made an error, however. The brain can reframe an experience into something positive in order to avoid accepting that it has made a mistake. If you have difficulty recognizing and accepting your mistakes, this is probably why. Understanding how your brain deals with mistakes can help you be more aware of your own experience.\\nYour brain has essentially two responses to mistakes: problem-solving mode (“Why did this happen? How can I make it not happen again?”) and shut-down mode (“I’m going to ignore this mistake”). The problem-solving mode, unsurprisingly, helps you learn from your mistakes and correct them in the future. It is commonly seen in people who believe intelligence is flexible, and that everyone is capable of development. The shut-down mode is often seen when you believe that your intelligence is “fixed”: you're either good or bad at something, and that's that. This type of thinking keeps you from learning and growing.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Understand how society views mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"We live in a society that's afraid of making mistakes. We grow up being encouraged to make as few mistakes as possible. People who manage to get ahead are those who take this seriously. Do well in high school and you'll get scholarships to university. Do well in university and you'll graduate with a high GPA and honors. There's little room for messing up. So if you have a hard time accepting your mistakes at first, go easy on yourself, because it's not all your fault. You've probably been taught to be hard on yourself.\\nRemind yourself that the belief that you must never make a mistake is flawed. Mistakes are the only way we learn; if you don't make (many) mistakes, it's because you already know something inside out and backwards. If you want to learn and grow, mistakes are part of the package.\\nRemind yourself that perfectionism holds you and others to unreasonable standards. Making a mistake does not make you “a failure” or negate your efforts. Relax your standards to allow room for mistakes—it's a more helpful, more effective way to pursue excellence.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning from Your Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Correct your mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Mistakes can help you learn, but only if you make sure they are corrected. For example, if you use the wrong ingredient while cooking, be sure to ask your mother or a knowledgeable person about the correct way to use the ingredient, so that you can revise the information in your memory.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal of your mistakes and successes.\", \"描述\": \"It can be helpful to write down when, where, and how you're making mistakes in your life. This will create additional awareness of your patterns, which may be difficult to notice in the heat of the moment. Carry a small pocket journal around with you and make note of times that you did something wrong. Review the entries later when you have free time, and explore options for what you could have done differently.\\nFor example, if you're working on a new recipe and things keep going poorly, make a note of where you're messing up. Think about it later that evening and see if you can come up with ways to prepare the dish differently.\\nYou should also keep track of your successes. You will be more motivated to continue learning despite making mistakes if you can track your progress over time and celebrate what you're good at. A solely negative focus is unhelpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Focus on “get-better” goals rather than “be-good” goals.\", \"描述\": \"“Be-good” goals set unrealistic expectations for yourself, especially if you're just starting out with an activity. If you set “be-good” goals, you are raising the stakes and telling yourself that you need to succeed in order to be a good person. “Get-better” goals, on the other hand, are all about improvement. With these goals, you don't need ridiculously high achievements in order to feel good about yourself. You're aiming for improvement, not perfection.\\nFor example, focus on the “get-better” goal of learning how different spices affect the taste of food, rather than the “be-good” goal of being a master chef right off the bat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Engage in deliberate practice.\", \"描述\": \"Time isn't the only ingredient necessary to learn from your mistakes. You will also benefit from going forward with a specific purpose. This is why it's important that you locate your mistakes and the reasons behind them. Being aware of what you're doing wrong, and why, will help you create a plan to practice and increase your competence.\\nFor example, if you're trying to perfect a basic cooking skill like boiling pasta, do it over and over until you get the timing right. It may take a while to get the desired softness of the pasta, but the more you practice, the closer you will get.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"There's no shame in asking for help with something you haven't gotten the hang of yet. Putting your ego aside and learning from someone who has more experience than you is a great way to improve, especially if you find yourself in a rut and don't know how to proceed.\\nFor example, ask a chef at your favorite restaurant or a family member with a lot of cooking experience if you are having trouble with a cooking basic.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Believe in your abilities.\", \"描述\": \"Research suggests that people who believe they can learn from mistakes are actually more likely to learn from mistakes. Knowing that it's possible for you to learn from mistakes is a good step toward actually doing it.\\nAfter a mistake such as burning a dish, tell yourself “I can learn from this. It’s possible to use this experience. Now I know to use a lower oven temperature.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Know that reasons are not the same as excuses.\", \"描述\": \"We’re told not to make excuses for our mistakes, but that's different from knowing about the reasons for our mistakes. If a meal you are cooking doesn't come out right, it's okay to recognize the fact that you made a mistake such as not following the recipe closely enough or reaching for the salt instead of sugar. That's a reason, not an excuse. Searching for the reasons behind your mistakes can help you do better in the future, because it will show you where you went wrong. Some more reasons to look out for:\\nBeing late to events because of not getting up early enough.\\nGetting written up for messing up a project because you didn't ask for clarification.\\nFailing a test because you neglected to study, or didn't prioritize your studying well.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes all it takes to learn from a mistake is one pass. This isn't always the case, however. Many times, in order to learn from a mistake, we have to make it several times over. It can be difficult to catch on at first, so give yourself leeway to make the same mistake a few times before getting frustrated.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Forgive yourself if you keep making the same mistake. It's okay to have one area that gives you a lot of difficulty.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid thinking you're immune to mistakes, even if you're good at something. This can make it harder for you if you do mess up.\\n\"]}]}}",
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110 | How to Accept Not Having Children | 1. Steps
1-1. Express Your Feelings
Acknowledge your emotions, however varied they are, and make it a point to express them outwardly. The way you express yourself is personal to you and may involve crying, screaming, laughing, singing, writing, talking or any other of the countless forms of self-expression.
1-2. Assess your reality, as it is.
It is important that you are realistic about life's circumstances. If you know that you will not have children, then you must accept that fact before you can move forward. Consciously incorporate the following practices into your daily life:
Instead of thinking of what should have or could have been, focus on what is and what can be.
Imagine your future without children. Make plans for yourself that revolve around not having kids. Envision your plans coming to fruition and you being happy in those plans.
Remove painful reminders from sight. If you have baby items that you acquired in the hopes of having a baby, pack them away or give them to someone who will use them.
1-3. Put things into perspective.
Remember that everyone must deal with unwanted life circumstances at times, whether it be death, illness or involuntary childlessness. Relating to others on this level may help you feel less alone.
1-4. Maintain your health.
Get the appropriate amount of sleep, and make sure you are eating well. Neglecting your physical health can complicate the acceptance process.
1-5. Learn about the stages of grief.
Accepting not having children is similar to any type of serious loss in that you will experience grief in its many forms. Understanding how grief manifests will prepare you to be able to manage it.
Denial. You may be in disbelief, and mentally unwilling to accept the reality of not having kids.
Despair. This is perhaps the most easily identifiable stage of grief, and is characterized by general symptoms of depression.
Remorse. You may begin to question or blame yourself for not having children, and this can lead to unnecessary guilt.
Anger. The anger associated with grief is not necessarily aimed at a person or a thing, but rather at the circumstance itself.
Fear. When the reality of involuntary childlessness sets in, it may cause a sense of panic or anxiety.
Physical grief. The physical symptoms of grief include insomnia, irregular appetite changes, headaches, unexplained body aches, nausea and fatigue.
1-6. Seek emotional support.
Getting outside help is extremely important to the process of coping with not having kids. There are many places you can go for this type of support:
Mental health professionals. Find a therapist or counselor whom you feel comfortable with if you feel that you are experiencing obstacles to overcoming uncomfortable emotions.
Support groups. Search online and in your local newspapers for support groups for the involuntarily childless. Connecting with other people who share your experience can be a great source of comfort.
Religious organizations. If you belong to a church or other religious institution, then you may be able to receive free counseling from someone you already know and trust.
Family and friends. Expressing what you are going through to people who love and care about you can be a healthy way of dealing with the grief of not having children.
1-7. If you love children, consider other ways to have children in your life.
You don't need to be a parent in order to help them and watch them grow.
Help friends and family members with their children. Babysit for your best friend, or spend time at your brother's house playing with and caring for his children. The children will enjoy playing with you, and the adults will be thankful for the extra help.
Consider volunteering at a place where you can work with children. Try becoming an aide, teaching underprivileged children, volunteering for church programs, coming as a guest to schools (e.g. to talk about your job), or working with disabled children.
Take a job in which you will be expected to work with children.
1-8. Address situational issues.
Deal with the cause for involuntary childlessness in order to fully acclimate to a life without children.
If you want children but have an unwilling partner, the decision to not have children can put a great deal of stress on the relationship. It may be difficult to avoid withholding resentment toward your partner, and you will need to rebuild the relationship once you learn to cope with not having children. Work through relationship issues with the help of a couples therapist.
Keep communication clear with your partner. Tell them that having kids is very important to you, and ask why they don't want kids. Then listen carefully. Try to find some middle ground: would they be okay with having kids in five years? What about deciding to wait, and to discuss it again a few years from now? Try to find a solution that can satisfy you both.
In order to accept not having kids due to infertility, it is important that you not place blame on yourself or your partner. Take time to recover physically and emotionally from any medical treatments you and/or your partner may have endured and recognize that the stress from those treatments is likely complicating your ability to cope with not having children.
1-9. Take time for yourself.
Childlessness does not mean an end to happiness. Spend time with people you love, take a long bubble bath, work on your hobbies, and do things that matter to you. You do not need children to live a positive, meaningful life.
Warnings
If you experience severe depression from not having children, seek therapy to help you cope.
If you feel like wanting to divorce your partner because of not having children, get therapy straight away.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:23",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Express Your Feelings\\nAcknowledge your emotions, however varied they are, and make it a point to express them outwardly. The way you express yourself is personal to you and may involve crying, screaming, laughing, singing, writing, talking or any other of the countless forms of self-expression.\\n1-2. Assess your reality, as it is.\\nIt is important that you are realistic about life's circumstances. If you know that you will not have children, then you must accept that fact before you can move forward. Consciously incorporate the following practices into your daily life:\\nInstead of thinking of what should have or could have been, focus on what is and what can be.\\nImagine your future without children. Make plans for yourself that revolve around not having kids. Envision your plans coming to fruition and you being happy in those plans.\\nRemove painful reminders from sight. If you have baby items that you acquired in the hopes of having a baby, pack them away or give them to someone who will use them.\\n1-3. Put things into perspective.\\nRemember that everyone must deal with unwanted life circumstances at times, whether it be death, illness or involuntary childlessness. Relating to others on this level may help you feel less alone.\\n1-4. Maintain your health.\\nGet the appropriate amount of sleep, and make sure you are eating well. Neglecting your physical health can complicate the acceptance process.\\n1-5. Learn about the stages of grief.\\nAccepting not having children is similar to any type of serious loss in that you will experience grief in its many forms. Understanding how grief manifests will prepare you to be able to manage it.\\nDenial. You may be in disbelief, and mentally unwilling to accept the reality of not having kids.\\nDespair. This is perhaps the most easily identifiable stage of grief, and is characterized by general symptoms of depression.\\nRemorse. You may begin to question or blame yourself for not having children, and this can lead to unnecessary guilt.\\nAnger. The anger associated with grief is not necessarily aimed at a person or a thing, but rather at the circumstance itself.\\nFear. When the reality of involuntary childlessness sets in, it may cause a sense of panic or anxiety.\\nPhysical grief. The physical symptoms of grief include insomnia, irregular appetite changes, headaches, unexplained body aches, nausea and fatigue.\\n1-6. Seek emotional support.\\nGetting outside help is extremely important to the process of coping with not having kids. There are many places you can go for this type of support:\\nMental health professionals. Find a therapist or counselor whom you feel comfortable with if you feel that you are experiencing obstacles to overcoming uncomfortable emotions.\\nSupport groups. Search online and in your local newspapers for support groups for the involuntarily childless. Connecting with other people who share your experience can be a great source of comfort.\\nReligious organizations. If you belong to a church or other religious institution, then you may be able to receive free counseling from someone you already know and trust.\\nFamily and friends. Expressing what you are going through to people who love and care about you can be a healthy way of dealing with the grief of not having children.\\n1-7. If you love children, consider other ways to have children in your life.\\nYou don't need to be a parent in order to help them and watch them grow.\\nHelp friends and family members with their children. Babysit for your best friend, or spend time at your brother's house playing with and caring for his children. The children will enjoy playing with you, and the adults will be thankful for the extra help.\\nConsider volunteering at a place where you can work with children. Try becoming an aide, teaching underprivileged children, volunteering for church programs, coming as a guest to schools (e.g. to talk about your job), or working with disabled children.\\nTake a job in which you will be expected to work with children.\\n1-8. Address situational issues.\\nDeal with the cause for involuntary childlessness in order to fully acclimate to a life without children.\\nIf you want children but have an unwilling partner, the decision to not have children can put a great deal of stress on the relationship. It may be difficult to avoid withholding resentment toward your partner, and you will need to rebuild the relationship once you learn to cope with not having children. Work through relationship issues with the help of a couples therapist.\\nKeep communication clear with your partner. Tell them that having kids is very important to you, and ask why they don't want kids. Then listen carefully. Try to find some middle ground: would they be okay with having kids in five years? What about deciding to wait, and to discuss it again a few years from now? Try to find a solution that can satisfy you both.\\nIn order to accept not having kids due to infertility, it is important that you not place blame on yourself or your partner. Take time to recover physically and emotionally from any medical treatments you and/or your partner may have endured and recognize that the stress from those treatments is likely complicating your ability to cope with not having children.\\n1-9. Take time for yourself.\\nChildlessness does not mean an end to happiness. Spend time with people you love, take a long bubble bath, work on your hobbies, and do things that matter to you. You do not need children to live a positive, meaningful life.\\nWarnings\\nIf you experience severe depression from not having children, seek therapy to help you cope.\\nIf you feel like wanting to divorce your partner because of not having children, get therapy straight away.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There are many reasons for why a person may not have children. It may be due to a lack of desire, an unwilling partner, or the biological inability to reproduce. In the circumstance of involuntary childlessness, as in the two latter cases, it is not uncommon to experience grief and a certain apprehension about having a life without children. However, you can cope and learn to move on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express Your Feelings\", \"描述\": \"Acknowledge your emotions, however varied they are, and make it a point to express them outwardly. The way you express yourself is personal to you and may involve crying, screaming, laughing, singing, writing, talking or any other of the countless forms of self-expression.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess your reality, as it is.\", \"描述\": \"It is important that you are realistic about life's circumstances. If you know that you will not have children, then you must accept that fact before you can move forward. Consciously incorporate the following practices into your daily life:\\nInstead of thinking of what should have or could have been, focus on what is and what can be.\\nImagine your future without children. Make plans for yourself that revolve around not having kids. Envision your plans coming to fruition and you being happy in those plans.\\nRemove painful reminders from sight. If you have baby items that you acquired in the hopes of having a baby, pack them away or give them to someone who will use them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Put things into perspective.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that everyone must deal with unwanted life circumstances at times, whether it be death, illness or involuntary childlessness. Relating to others on this level may help you feel less alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain your health.\", \"描述\": \"Get the appropriate amount of sleep, and make sure you are eating well. Neglecting your physical health can complicate the acceptance process.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn about the stages of grief.\", \"描述\": \"Accepting not having children is similar to any type of serious loss in that you will experience grief in its many forms. Understanding how grief manifests will prepare you to be able to manage it.\\nDenial. You may be in disbelief, and mentally unwilling to accept the reality of not having kids.\\nDespair. This is perhaps the most easily identifiable stage of grief, and is characterized by general symptoms of depression.\\nRemorse. You may begin to question or blame yourself for not having children, and this can lead to unnecessary guilt.\\nAnger. The anger associated with grief is not necessarily aimed at a person or a thing, but rather at the circumstance itself.\\nFear. When the reality of involuntary childlessness sets in, it may cause a sense of panic or anxiety.\\nPhysical grief. The physical symptoms of grief include insomnia, irregular appetite changes, headaches, unexplained body aches, nausea and fatigue.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Seek emotional support.\", \"描述\": \"Getting outside help is extremely important to the process of coping with not having kids. There are many places you can go for this type of support:\\nMental health professionals. Find a therapist or counselor whom you feel comfortable with if you feel that you are experiencing obstacles to overcoming uncomfortable emotions.\\nSupport groups. Search online and in your local newspapers for support groups for the involuntarily childless. Connecting with other people who share your experience can be a great source of comfort.\\nReligious organizations. If you belong to a church or other religious institution, then you may be able to receive free counseling from someone you already know and trust.\\nFamily and friends. Expressing what you are going through to people who love and care about you can be a healthy way of dealing with the grief of not having children.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"If you love children, consider other ways to have children in your life.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to be a parent in order to help them and watch them grow.\\nHelp friends and family members with their children. Babysit for your best friend, or spend time at your brother's house playing with and caring for his children. The children will enjoy playing with you, and the adults will be thankful for the extra help.\\nConsider volunteering at a place where you can work with children. Try becoming an aide, teaching underprivileged children, volunteering for church programs, coming as a guest to schools (e.g. to talk about your job), or working with disabled children.\\nTake a job in which you will be expected to work with children.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Address situational issues.\", \"描述\": \"Deal with the cause for involuntary childlessness in order to fully acclimate to a life without children.\\nIf you want children but have an unwilling partner, the decision to not have children can put a great deal of stress on the relationship. It may be difficult to avoid withholding resentment toward your partner, and you will need to rebuild the relationship once you learn to cope with not having children. Work through relationship issues with the help of a couples therapist.\\nKeep communication clear with your partner. Tell them that having kids is very important to you, and ask why they don't want kids. Then listen carefully. Try to find some middle ground: would they be okay with having kids in five years? What about deciding to wait, and to discuss it again a few years from now? Try to find a solution that can satisfy you both.\\nIn order to accept not having kids due to infertility, it is important that you not place blame on yourself or your partner. Take time to recover physically and emotionally from any medical treatments you and/or your partner may have endured and recognize that the stress from those treatments is likely complicating your ability to cope with not having children.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Take time for yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Childlessness does not mean an end to happiness. Spend time with people you love, take a long bubble bath, work on your hobbies, and do things that matter to you. You do not need children to live a positive, meaningful life.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"If you experience severe depression from not having children, seek therapy to help you cope.\\n\", \"If you feel like wanting to divorce your partner because of not having children, get therapy straight away.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
111 | How to Accept Past Mistakes | 1. Talk it through with someone.
Holding in your thoughts and feelings can make your anxiety worse.
Reach out to a trusted friend or family member to get their opinion and advice on what happened. You might just find out that the mistake wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was.
Even if your loved one doesn’t have any advice for you, just letting it all out can be helpful.
2. Own up to your mistakes.
Don’t try to blame your mistakes on others or downplay them.
Instead, admit to yourself that you messed up, even if you had good intentions. Everyone makes mistakes now and then, so it’s okay to realize that you did, too.
Try telling yourself something like: “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made a mistake last year by turning down that job opportunity. It was my own fault, not anyone else’s.”
3. Empathize with anyone you've hurt.
If you hurt someone with your mistake, try to feel what they feel.
It can be easy to excuse your actions if you don’t empathize with the person you hurt. They might feel angry, embarrassed, sad, or a little bit of all three emotions at once.
For example, if the mistake you made was talking badly about a friend behind their back, your friend might feel angry and embarrassed.
Or, if you got into a fight with your parents at a family reunion, they might be feeling sad or worried about you.
4. Make amends with those you’ve wronged.
Forgiving yourself is much easier when others have forgiven you, too.
If you hurt someone with your actions, reach out to them and ask how you can make up for it. There might not always be a clear answer, but reaching out to the person can’t hurt.
In some cases, it’s obvious what you can do to make up for a mistake. For example, if you dropped someone’s expensive knick knack and it broke, offer to pay for it.
Other times, there might not be anything you can do to make up for it. If you hurt someone deeply with your actions, they might not be able to forgive you—and that’s okay.
5. Plan what you could do better next time.
Help yourself avoid the mistake in the future.
Sit down and actually write out a list of things you can do to make sure the mistake never happens again. Of course, you can’t tell the future, but you can turn your mistake into something positive.
For example, if you missed a deadline at work, you could work on your time management and set reminders for yourself on your phone and computer.
If you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you could write it on your calendar and plan to buy them a gift 2 weeks in advance.
6. Look for the life lesson.
You might be able to accept your mistakes if they were worthwhile.
Instead of ruminating over what you could have done better, stop and think about what you can learn. You cannot change the past, but you can use it to guide yourself towards better decisions in the future.
For example, if you learn that you get frustrated when your mom tries to talk to you immediately after arriving home, then be grateful for learning that you need some time to decompress after you get home.
Or, maybe you overslept and missed work because you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities. You can be grateful to learn that you need to cut back on what you do during the week to improve your mental health.
7. Separate yourself from the mistakes.
Mistakes don’t define who you are.
Everyone makes mistakes and engages in poor behavior, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. Try to see yourself as a separate entity from the mistakes you’ve made instead of assigning yourself a role as the bad guy.
For example, you could say, “I really messed up at my job one time, but I’ve also done some really great work there. My boss says I’m a hard worker, so I should believe her.”
8. Challenge your negative thoughts.
We often think badly about ourselves without even realizing it.
Try to catch yourself every time you think a negative thought and question if it’s really true. Tell yourself that past mistakes don’t define who you are, and that you can make better decisions in the future.
For example, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m just going to mess up again.” Try telling yourself, “I can’t see the future, so I don’t know if that’s true. All I can do is try to work harder and be better.”
Or, you might think, “Nobody likes me because of what I did in the past.” Try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friends just ask me to hang out last week? And they’ve known me forever.”
9. Treat yourself how you’d treat a friend.
Think about what you’d do if a loved one made the same mistakes.
What would you say? How would you feel? Chances are, you would not think a friend or family member is a bad person because of a single lapse in judgment. Try to grant yourself the same kindness.
We’re usually much easier on others than we are on ourselves. Although it can be tough, try to stop holding yourself to a higher standard than you would others.
10. Embrace your strengths.
You have a lot of positive qualities, too.
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and jot down 5 things that you like about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend or family member to help you come up with a short list.
This might sound like a silly exercise, but it’s a really good way to remind yourself that you aren’t only made up of mistakes. Although it might not feel like it, you’ve definitely done good things in your past, too.
For example, you could write: “I’m kind to my friends, I’m creative, I manage my time well, I’m very personable, and I’d do anything for my family.”
11. Talk to a mental health professional.
Navigating this acceptance on your own can be tough.
If you often find yourself ruminating on things you did in the past and you feel like you can’t get over them, a mental health professional may be able to help. They can talk to you about ways to combat negative thoughts and forgive yourself so you can move on.
If you have insurance, you can probably get them to cover your visits.
If you’re a student, check out the mental health services on campus. You might be able to see someone for a reduced cost (or even for free).
Tips
Accepting your mistakes might not happen overnight. Keep plugging away to make chunks of progress over time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talk it through with someone.\\nHolding in your thoughts and feelings can make your anxiety worse.\\nReach out to a trusted friend or family member to get their opinion and advice on what happened. You might just find out that the mistake wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was.\\nEven if your loved one doesn’t have any advice for you, just letting it all out can be helpful.\\n2. Own up to your mistakes.\\nDon’t try to blame your mistakes on others or downplay them.\\nInstead, admit to yourself that you messed up, even if you had good intentions. Everyone makes mistakes now and then, so it’s okay to realize that you did, too.\\nTry telling yourself something like: “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made a mistake last year by turning down that job opportunity. It was my own fault, not anyone else’s.”\\n3. Empathize with anyone you've hurt.\\nIf you hurt someone with your mistake, try to feel what they feel.\\nIt can be easy to excuse your actions if you don’t empathize with the person you hurt. They might feel angry, embarrassed, sad, or a little bit of all three emotions at once.\\nFor example, if the mistake you made was talking badly about a friend behind their back, your friend might feel angry and embarrassed.\\nOr, if you got into a fight with your parents at a family reunion, they might be feeling sad or worried about you.\\n4. Make amends with those you’ve wronged.\\nForgiving yourself is much easier when others have forgiven you, too.\\nIf you hurt someone with your actions, reach out to them and ask how you can make up for it. There might not always be a clear answer, but reaching out to the person can’t hurt.\\nIn some cases, it’s obvious what you can do to make up for a mistake. For example, if you dropped someone’s expensive knick knack and it broke, offer to pay for it.\\nOther times, there might not be anything you can do to make up for it. If you hurt someone deeply with your actions, they might not be able to forgive you—and that’s okay.\\n5. Plan what you could do better next time.\\nHelp yourself avoid the mistake in the future.\\nSit down and actually write out a list of things you can do to make sure the mistake never happens again. Of course, you can’t tell the future, but you can turn your mistake into something positive.\\nFor example, if you missed a deadline at work, you could work on your time management and set reminders for yourself on your phone and computer.\\nIf you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you could write it on your calendar and plan to buy them a gift 2 weeks in advance.\\n6. Look for the life lesson.\\nYou might be able to accept your mistakes if they were worthwhile.\\nInstead of ruminating over what you could have done better, stop and think about what you can learn. You cannot change the past, but you can use it to guide yourself towards better decisions in the future.\\nFor example, if you learn that you get frustrated when your mom tries to talk to you immediately after arriving home, then be grateful for learning that you need some time to decompress after you get home.\\nOr, maybe you overslept and missed work because you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities. You can be grateful to learn that you need to cut back on what you do during the week to improve your mental health.\\n7. Separate yourself from the mistakes.\\nMistakes don’t define who you are.\\nEveryone makes mistakes and engages in poor behavior, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. Try to see yourself as a separate entity from the mistakes you’ve made instead of assigning yourself a role as the bad guy.\\nFor example, you could say, “I really messed up at my job one time, but I’ve also done some really great work there. My boss says I’m a hard worker, so I should believe her.”\\n8. Challenge your negative thoughts.\\nWe often think badly about ourselves without even realizing it.\\nTry to catch yourself every time you think a negative thought and question if it’s really true. Tell yourself that past mistakes don’t define who you are, and that you can make better decisions in the future.\\nFor example, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m just going to mess up again.” Try telling yourself, “I can’t see the future, so I don’t know if that’s true. All I can do is try to work harder and be better.”\\nOr, you might think, “Nobody likes me because of what I did in the past.” Try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friends just ask me to hang out last week? And they’ve known me forever.”\\n9. Treat yourself how you’d treat a friend.\\nThink about what you’d do if a loved one made the same mistakes.\\nWhat would you say? How would you feel? Chances are, you would not think a friend or family member is a bad person because of a single lapse in judgment. Try to grant yourself the same kindness.\\nWe’re usually much easier on others than we are on ourselves. Although it can be tough, try to stop holding yourself to a higher standard than you would others.\\n10. Embrace your strengths.\\nYou have a lot of positive qualities, too.\\nGrab a pen and a piece of paper and jot down 5 things that you like about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend or family member to help you come up with a short list.\\nThis might sound like a silly exercise, but it’s a really good way to remind yourself that you aren’t only made up of mistakes. Although it might not feel like it, you’ve definitely done good things in your past, too.\\nFor example, you could write: “I’m kind to my friends, I’m creative, I manage my time well, I’m very personable, and I’d do anything for my family.”\\n11. Talk to a mental health professional.\\nNavigating this acceptance on your own can be tough.\\nIf you often find yourself ruminating on things you did in the past and you feel like you can’t get over them, a mental health professional may be able to help. They can talk to you about ways to combat negative thoughts and forgive yourself so you can move on.\\nIf you have insurance, you can probably get them to cover your visits.\\nIf you’re a student, check out the mental health services on campus. You might be able to see someone for a reduced cost (or even for free).\\nTips\\nAccepting your mistakes might not happen overnight. Keep plugging away to make chunks of progress over time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re a human being, you’re going to make mistakes—there’s just no way around it. However, letting go of those mistakes can be tough, especially if you’re dealing with feelings of guilt or regret. It may take a little time, but you can learn to accept your mistakes and forgive yourself for what’s happened in the past.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk it through with someone.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Holding in your thoughts and feelings can make your anxiety worse.\", \"描述\": \"Reach out to a trusted friend or family member to get their opinion and advice on what happened. You might just find out that the mistake wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was.\\nEven if your loved one doesn’t have any advice for you, just letting it all out can be helpful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Own up to your mistakes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to blame your mistakes on others or downplay them.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, admit to yourself that you messed up, even if you had good intentions. Everyone makes mistakes now and then, so it’s okay to realize that you did, too.\\nTry telling yourself something like: “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made a mistake last year by turning down that job opportunity. It was my own fault, not anyone else’s.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Empathize with anyone you've hurt.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you hurt someone with your mistake, try to feel what they feel.\", \"描述\": \"It can be easy to excuse your actions if you don’t empathize with the person you hurt. They might feel angry, embarrassed, sad, or a little bit of all three emotions at once.\\nFor example, if the mistake you made was talking badly about a friend behind their back, your friend might feel angry and embarrassed.\\nOr, if you got into a fight with your parents at a family reunion, they might be feeling sad or worried about you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make amends with those you’ve wronged.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forgiving yourself is much easier when others have forgiven you, too.\", \"描述\": \"If you hurt someone with your actions, reach out to them and ask how you can make up for it. There might not always be a clear answer, but reaching out to the person can’t hurt.\\nIn some cases, it’s obvious what you can do to make up for a mistake. For example, if you dropped someone’s expensive knick knack and it broke, offer to pay for it.\\nOther times, there might not be anything you can do to make up for it. If you hurt someone deeply with your actions, they might not be able to forgive you—and that’s okay.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan what you could do better next time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Help yourself avoid the mistake in the future.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down and actually write out a list of things you can do to make sure the mistake never happens again. Of course, you can’t tell the future, but you can turn your mistake into something positive.\\nFor example, if you missed a deadline at work, you could work on your time management and set reminders for yourself on your phone and computer.\\nIf you forgot a loved one’s birthday, you could write it on your calendar and plan to buy them a gift 2 weeks in advance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Look for the life lesson.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You might be able to accept your mistakes if they were worthwhile.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of ruminating over what you could have done better, stop and think about what you can learn. You cannot change the past, but you can use it to guide yourself towards better decisions in the future.\\nFor example, if you learn that you get frustrated when your mom tries to talk to you immediately after arriving home, then be grateful for learning that you need some time to decompress after you get home.\\nOr, maybe you overslept and missed work because you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities. You can be grateful to learn that you need to cut back on what you do during the week to improve your mental health.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Separate yourself from the mistakes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Mistakes don’t define who you are.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone makes mistakes and engages in poor behavior, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. Try to see yourself as a separate entity from the mistakes you’ve made instead of assigning yourself a role as the bad guy.\\nFor example, you could say, “I really messed up at my job one time, but I’ve also done some really great work there. My boss says I’m a hard worker, so I should believe her.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Challenge your negative thoughts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"We often think badly about ourselves without even realizing it.\", \"描述\": \"Try to catch yourself every time you think a negative thought and question if it’s really true. Tell yourself that past mistakes don’t define who you are, and that you can make better decisions in the future.\\nFor example, you might find yourself thinking, “I’m just going to mess up again.” Try telling yourself, “I can’t see the future, so I don’t know if that’s true. All I can do is try to work harder and be better.”\\nOr, you might think, “Nobody likes me because of what I did in the past.” Try asking yourself, “Is that true? Didn’t my friends just ask me to hang out last week? And they’ve known me forever.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself how you’d treat a friend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about what you’d do if a loved one made the same mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"What would you say? How would you feel? Chances are, you would not think a friend or family member is a bad person because of a single lapse in judgment. Try to grant yourself the same kindness.\\nWe’re usually much easier on others than we are on ourselves. Although it can be tough, try to stop holding yourself to a higher standard than you would others.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Embrace your strengths.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You have a lot of positive qualities, too.\", \"描述\": \"Grab a pen and a piece of paper and jot down 5 things that you like about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend or family member to help you come up with a short list.\\nThis might sound like a silly exercise, but it’s a really good way to remind yourself that you aren’t only made up of mistakes. Although it might not feel like it, you’ve definitely done good things in your past, too.\\nFor example, you could write: “I’m kind to my friends, I’m creative, I manage my time well, I’m very personable, and I’d do anything for my family.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Talk to a mental health professional.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Navigating this acceptance on your own can be tough.\", \"描述\": \"If you often find yourself ruminating on things you did in the past and you feel like you can’t get over them, a mental health professional may be able to help. They can talk to you about ways to combat negative thoughts and forgive yourself so you can move on.\\nIf you have insurance, you can probably get them to cover your visits.\\nIf you’re a student, check out the mental health services on campus. You might be able to see someone for a reduced cost (or even for free).\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Accepting your mistakes might not happen overnight. Keep plugging away to make chunks of progress over time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
112 | How to Accept Payments on Craigslist | 1. Steps
1-1. Ask yourself whether you are comfortable with shipping the item.
The recommendation from Craigslist is that you only do business locally, and for good reason. You are much less likely to be scammed by someone who you meet and transact with face-to-face. Asking a buyer to stop by your house to pick up the item is the norm (and the safest way to transact), but it isn't out of the question to ship an item. Just make sure you understand the risks involved.
1-2. Request that the buyer pay you through PayPal or a similar service.
If you decide to ship your item, this is the only payment option you should entertain. A buyer can make a payment to your PayPal account using nothing but your email address. Only after you have confirmed payment should you ship the item. If the buyer is not willing to pay in advance, do not do business with them.
1-3. Request a cash payment at the time of sale.
If you decide to meet your buyer in person, ask that they pay cash. Any honest buyer will understand your hesitance to accept other forms of payment and will gladly stop by an ATM to get the cash. If a buyer insists on paying by check or some other form, strongly consider calling off the deal.
1-4. Ask that a buyer pay at least partially in cash.
If you meet a buyer in person and they do not have sufficient cash on them, you could ask them to pay for part of the item in cash and cover the rest with a personal check. Remember that by doing this, you run the risk of the check bouncing.
1-5. Exercise caution before accepting a cashier's check.
Even though these are typically viewed as sound because they are drawn on a bank's funds, they are surprisingly easy to forge. It is not a good idea to do business with a Craigslist buyer who insists on paying by cashier's check.
1-6. Never accept a money order.
Money orders are the type of payment most often associated with scams on Craigslist. Never do business with anyone who offers to pay you by money order for more than your asking price, especially if they are asking for a portion of the money to be wired to a third party. This is a classic formula for Craigslist scamming.
Tips
Mention in your Craigslist posting that you will only accept cash. This can mitigate some confusion from the start.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Ask yourself whether you are comfortable with shipping the item.\\nThe recommendation from Craigslist is that you only do business locally, and for good reason. You are much less likely to be scammed by someone who you meet and transact with face-to-face. Asking a buyer to stop by your house to pick up the item is the norm (and the safest way to transact), but it isn't out of the question to ship an item. Just make sure you understand the risks involved.\\n1-2. Request that the buyer pay you through PayPal or a similar service.\\nIf you decide to ship your item, this is the only payment option you should entertain. A buyer can make a payment to your PayPal account using nothing but your email address. Only after you have confirmed payment should you ship the item. If the buyer is not willing to pay in advance, do not do business with them.\\n1-3. Request a cash payment at the time of sale.\\nIf you decide to meet your buyer in person, ask that they pay cash. Any honest buyer will understand your hesitance to accept other forms of payment and will gladly stop by an ATM to get the cash. If a buyer insists on paying by check or some other form, strongly consider calling off the deal.\\n1-4. Ask that a buyer pay at least partially in cash.\\nIf you meet a buyer in person and they do not have sufficient cash on them, you could ask them to pay for part of the item in cash and cover the rest with a personal check. Remember that by doing this, you run the risk of the check bouncing.\\n1-5. Exercise caution before accepting a cashier's check.\\nEven though these are typically viewed as sound because they are drawn on a bank's funds, they are surprisingly easy to forge. It is not a good idea to do business with a Craigslist buyer who insists on paying by cashier's check.\\n1-6. Never accept a money order.\\nMoney orders are the type of payment most often associated with scams on Craigslist. Never do business with anyone who offers to pay you by money order for more than your asking price, especially if they are asking for a portion of the money to be wired to a third party. This is a classic formula for Craigslist scamming.\\nTips\\nMention in your Craigslist posting that you will only accept cash. This can mitigate some confusion from the start.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Craigslist is an excellent tool for buying, selling or trading used items. Whether you are trying to de-clutter your home by selling a bunch of your unused stuff, selling off large pieces of furniture before a move, or trying to liquidate an old baseball card collection, Craigslist is a handy tool. However, you need to be on the lookout for scams and make sure you protect yourself by doing business smartly. By learning how to accept payments on Craigslist, you can navigate the selling process with ease.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself whether you are comfortable with shipping the item.\", \"描述\": \"The recommendation from Craigslist is that you only do business locally, and for good reason. You are much less likely to be scammed by someone who you meet and transact with face-to-face. Asking a buyer to stop by your house to pick up the item is the norm (and the safest way to transact), but it isn't out of the question to ship an item. Just make sure you understand the risks involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Request that the buyer pay you through PayPal or a similar service.\", \"描述\": \"If you decide to ship your item, this is the only payment option you should entertain. A buyer can make a payment to your PayPal account using nothing but your email address. Only after you have confirmed payment should you ship the item. If the buyer is not willing to pay in advance, do not do business with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request a cash payment at the time of sale.\", \"描述\": \"If you decide to meet your buyer in person, ask that they pay cash. Any honest buyer will understand your hesitance to accept other forms of payment and will gladly stop by an ATM to get the cash. If a buyer insists on paying by check or some other form, strongly consider calling off the deal.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask that a buyer pay at least partially in cash.\", \"描述\": \"If you meet a buyer in person and they do not have sufficient cash on them, you could ask them to pay for part of the item in cash and cover the rest with a personal check. Remember that by doing this, you run the risk of the check bouncing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Exercise caution before accepting a cashier's check.\", \"描述\": \"Even though these are typically viewed as sound because they are drawn on a bank's funds, they are surprisingly easy to forge. It is not a good idea to do business with a Craigslist buyer who insists on paying by cashier's check.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Never accept a money order.\", \"描述\": \"Money orders are the type of payment most often associated with scams on Craigslist. Never do business with anyone who offers to pay you by money order for more than your asking price, especially if they are asking for a portion of the money to be wired to a third party. This is a classic formula for Craigslist scamming.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Mention in your Craigslist posting that you will only accept cash. This can mitigate some confusion from the start.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
113 | How to Accept Payments on Facebook | 1. Steps
1-1. Go to Facebook's Business Payment Settings.
Log in if you're not already logged in and select an account if you have more than one Facebook account.
If you don't have a business page, creating one isn't too difficult.
1-2. Click Payment Methods.
You'll see this in the panel on the left side of the page next to an icon of a credit card.
1-3. Click Add Payment Method.
You'll see this centered on the right side of the page.
You'll need to be a financial editor of your business to be able to continue. If you are, select "I am a finance editor" and click .
1-4. Select your location and currency.
You'll have the same options if you're using the mobile app.
1-5. Click the circle next to the payment method you want to add and click Next to continue.
The options are the same in the mobile app.
1-6. Follow the on-screen instructions.
Fill out the card payment information, such as the card number and the CVV, then click .
Once the method is added, people can pay for items in your shop using your Facebook Business page.
If you're just sending or receiving money for personal reasons, like sharing the cost of lunch with a roommate or gifting some money to your friend/family, you'll want to use Messenger instead.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Go to Facebook's Business Payment Settings.\\nLog in if you're not already logged in and select an account if you have more than one Facebook account.\\nIf you don't have a business page, creating one isn't too difficult.\\n1-2. Click Payment Methods.\\nYou'll see this in the panel on the left side of the page next to an icon of a credit card.\\n1-3. Click Add Payment Method.\\nYou'll see this centered on the right side of the page.\\nYou'll need to be a financial editor of your business to be able to continue. If you are, select \\\"I am a finance editor\\\" and click .\\n1-4. Select your location and currency.\\nYou'll have the same options if you're using the mobile app.\\n1-5. Click the circle next to the payment method you want to add and click Next to continue.\\nThe options are the same in the mobile app.\\n1-6. Follow the on-screen instructions.\\nFill out the card payment information, such as the card number and the CVV, then click .\\nOnce the method is added, people can pay for items in your shop using your Facebook Business page.\\nIf you're just sending or receiving money for personal reasons, like sharing the cost of lunch with a roommate or gifting some money to your friend/family, you'll want to use Messenger instead.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have a shop and want to accept money for the things you're selling, Messenger may not work for you, but adding a payment method within Facebook Business Manager will. You'll need to use a computer browser for this to work. This wikiHow article will show you how to accept payments on Facebook by adding a payment method in Facebook Business Manager.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to Facebook's Business Payment Settings.\", \"描述\": \"Log in if you're not already logged in and select an account if you have more than one Facebook account.\\nIf you don't have a business page, creating one isn't too difficult.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click Payment Methods.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the panel on the left side of the page next to an icon of a credit card.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Add Payment Method.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this centered on the right side of the page.\\nYou'll need to be a financial editor of your business to be able to continue. If you are, select \\\"I am a finance editor\\\" and click .\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select your location and currency.\", \"描述\": \"You'll have the same options if you're using the mobile app.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click the circle next to the payment method you want to add and click Next to continue.\", \"描述\": \"The options are the same in the mobile app.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Follow the on-screen instructions.\", \"描述\": \"Fill out the card payment information, such as the card number and the CVV, then click .\\nOnce the method is added, people can pay for items in your shop using your Facebook Business page.\\nIf you're just sending or receiving money for personal reasons, like sharing the cost of lunch with a roommate or gifting some money to your friend/family, you'll want to use Messenger instead.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
114 | How to Accept Payments on Paypal | 1. Opening an Account
1-1. Open a PayPal Business Account if you haven't already.
Begin by visiting the PayPal home page and click on the "Business" tab at the top of the page. Then click on the "Get Started" button in the center of the page.
You can also sign up for just a personal account on this page.
1-2. On the next screen, select "Create New Account."
Follow the instructions to set up your merchant account. Once PayPal verifies your information, you are ready to accept credit card payments on your website or by telephone, mail or fax, e-checks and e-mail payments.
You'll need to provide a valid email address and basic information about your business to create an account.
1-3. Use the "Specialized Solutions" tab where applicable.
If you do not run a business but still want to use PayPal to collect funds, click on the "Specialized Solutions" tab in the top right of the "Business" page to select the best option for you. There are options for Non-profits, Digital Goods, Education, Political Campaigns, and Government and Financial Services. Choose the category that best describes you.
If you do not fit in any of the above categories, call the toll-free number to talk to a specialist who can help you set up your account.
2. Placing a PayPal Payment Button on Your Site
2-1. Place a payment button on your business's website.
If you haven't already, first create a PayPal business account as described in Part 1. Your customer will be able to click on the payment button on your website and easily make a payment using a credit card, a debit card or a checking account.
PayPal also allows you to send invoices with a "Pay Now" button linked to PayPal that allows your customers to pay instantly.
2-2. Log in to your account from the PayPal home page.
Use the "login" bar in the top right. You'll need to input your email address and the password you chose for your account.
2-3. On your account page, select "Merchant Services."
You'll see a button that says "Create payment buttons for your website." Click this button.
2-4. Select your desired button.
Using the drop-down menu, you can select a variety of messages for your button - "Buy Now," "Add to Cart," "Donate," and others. Enter the required information about your product or service, then click "Create Button."
If you're selling a product, you'll need to know the cost of shipping and any associated tax so this can be added onto your invoices.
At the bottom of the page, you'll see additional options for tracking inventory and customizing your PayPal features.
2-5. Select "Save Changes" at the bottom of the page.
You'll then be taken to a page that contains a box of HTML code. Copy and paste this code into your website's HTML to create a button on your page. To do this, you'll need the ability to edit your website's HTML code.
If you don't know what HTML code is (or you're not confident enough to edit it), consult one of our many guides on the subject, several of which are listed here: HTML How-To Articles
If you employ a web developer, send him or her the HTML code in the body of an email - he or she will be able to add the button to your website.
3. Using a Mobile Device
3-1. Purchase an Apple or Android smartphone or tablet if you don't have one.
PayPal allows you to receive credit card payments on your Apple or Android device. This is especially convenient for people and small businesses that receive most of their payments on the street such as food trucks, small street vendors, etc.
In the U.S., PayPal takes a 2.7% fee for every mobile card swipe. The rate is slightly higher if you manually input the card number or scan it with your phone's camera (3.5% + $.15 per payment.)
3-2. Download the PayPal Here App onto your device.
The app is available for free in the Apple Store and Google Play Store. Install the app on your device.
3-3. Open the App.
You'll be asked to log in with your PayPal account. The App will confirm your address and phone number. It will then offer to mail you your free Card Reader attachment. Use the confirmation code you were emailed to complete the signup process.
3-4. Update your business information by following the prompts.
You can choose to include your location, website, and Facebook. This information will appear on your customers' receipts.
3-5. Follow the app's instructions for setting up a payment plan.
The simplest option is to input each sale individually, but you may also want to create a list of individually-priced products to choose from. When a customer is ready to pay, plug the PayPal Card Reader into your device's audio jack. You should receive a "Card Reader Connected" notification.
3-6. Input the customer's purchase amount.
Select "Card" on the next page. Swipe your customer's card through the card reader. The card should be positioned so that it is upside down with its strip is facing away from you.
When swiping, use one smooth, quick motion, ensuring that the entire magnetic strip passes through the card reader.
If you don't have your Card Reader yet, you can still take credit card payments. You will be prompted to enter the card information manually or scan it using your phone.
3-7. Have your customer sign their signature directly on your smartphone.
Click "Complete Purchase" to finalize the sale and receive payment. Offer to email the customer the receipt.
4. Accepting Payments via Email (As an Independent Contractor)
4-1. Obtain a valid email address and a PayPal account associated with that address.
If you're an independent contractor, this is all you'll need to receive remote payment online. This option is especially useful for freelance workers operating online. Many businesses that use freelance employees prefer this method of payment for its ease in one-time payments.
Your employer will also need a PayPal account for this method. Check with your employer if you're not sure whether they accept this form of paying.
If the person making a payment does not have a PayPal account you can still request money from them. After you log in to your My PayPal page, click Send and Request. On the next page click Request Money and enter the person's email address and the amount requested. On the next page add a note if desired. Then click Request and PayPal will send the request and notify you when the payment arrives.
4-2. Tell your employer which email address you used for your PayPal account.
This is all you have to do when you want to be paid. An employer who uses this method of payment will provide their own payment information.
4-3. When your employer has paid you, log into your personal PayPal account.
From your "My Account" homepage, select "Withdraw." On the next page, you'll have several options for getting your money. You can:
Transfer money from your PayPal account to a bank account (for free).
Request a check be mailed to you (for $1.50.)
Request a PayPal debit card (for free).
Withdraw cash from an ATM (for $1.00).
Note: You should also receive an email at your PayPal-associated email address when you're paid. This email should contain instructions for retrieving your money.
4-4. On the next page, provide your payment information.
Depending on the method of payment you selected, you may be asked for your bank account number, address, or other contact information. If you transfer your money to a bank account, allow 3-4 days for processing. If you request a check or a debit card, allow 5-10 days for it to arrive.
Tips
In addition to cards, the PayPal Here app allows you to accept payment in the form of checks, cash, and invoices. These options don't require the Card Reader attachment.
PayPal allows you to accept foreign currencies.
If you choose not to link a bank account or credit card to your PayPal Merchant account for verification purposes, you can apply for a PayPal Extras MasterCard. If approved, you can use this card to verify your PayPal account.
Warnings
The PayPal seller Protection Program is only available to verified account holders. This program will reimburse you in the event that the credit card company approves the cancellation of a payment by your customer and that the Seller followed the Terms of Service standards set by PayPal.
Only paid PayPal accounts are insured against credit card transactions that the customer cancels.
Independent contractors with free PayPal accounts may initially only withdraw $500 per month from their PayPal account until this limit is lifted. For instructions on lifting the withdraw limit, visit your "My Account" home page, then click the small "view limits" link in the line of grey text under the large "Welcome, (Your Name)" header.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Opening an Account\\n1-1. Open a PayPal Business Account if you haven't already.\\nBegin by visiting the PayPal home page and click on the \\\"Business\\\" tab at the top of the page. Then click on the \\\"Get Started\\\" button in the center of the page.\\nYou can also sign up for just a personal account on this page.\\n1-2. On the next screen, select \\\"Create New Account.\\\"\\nFollow the instructions to set up your merchant account. Once PayPal verifies your information, you are ready to accept credit card payments on your website or by telephone, mail or fax, e-checks and e-mail payments.\\nYou'll need to provide a valid email address and basic information about your business to create an account.\\n1-3. Use the \\\"Specialized Solutions\\\" tab where applicable.\\nIf you do not run a business but still want to use PayPal to collect funds, click on the \\\"Specialized Solutions\\\" tab in the top right of the \\\"Business\\\" page to select the best option for you. There are options for Non-profits, Digital Goods, Education, Political Campaigns, and Government and Financial Services. Choose the category that best describes you.\\nIf you do not fit in any of the above categories, call the toll-free number to talk to a specialist who can help you set up your account.\\n2. Placing a PayPal Payment Button on Your Site\\n2-1. Place a payment button on your business's website.\\nIf you haven't already, first create a PayPal business account as described in Part 1. Your customer will be able to click on the payment button on your website and easily make a payment using a credit card, a debit card or a checking account.\\nPayPal also allows you to send invoices with a \\\"Pay Now\\\" button linked to PayPal that allows your customers to pay instantly.\\n2-2. Log in to your account from the PayPal home page.\\nUse the \\\"login\\\" bar in the top right. You'll need to input your email address and the password you chose for your account.\\n2-3. On your account page, select \\\"Merchant Services.\\\"\\nYou'll see a button that says \\\"Create payment buttons for your website.\\\" Click this button.\\n2-4. Select your desired button.\\nUsing the drop-down menu, you can select a variety of messages for your button - \\\"Buy Now,\\\" \\\"Add to Cart,\\\" \\\"Donate,\\\" and others. Enter the required information about your product or service, then click \\\"Create Button.\\\"\\nIf you're selling a product, you'll need to know the cost of shipping and any associated tax so this can be added onto your invoices.\\nAt the bottom of the page, you'll see additional options for tracking inventory and customizing your PayPal features.\\n2-5. Select \\\"Save Changes\\\" at the bottom of the page.\\nYou'll then be taken to a page that contains a box of HTML code. Copy and paste this code into your website's HTML to create a button on your page. To do this, you'll need the ability to edit your website's HTML code.\\nIf you don't know what HTML code is (or you're not confident enough to edit it), consult one of our many guides on the subject, several of which are listed here: HTML How-To Articles\\nIf you employ a web developer, send him or her the HTML code in the body of an email - he or she will be able to add the button to your website.\\n3. Using a Mobile Device\\n3-1. Purchase an Apple or Android smartphone or tablet if you don't have one.\\nPayPal allows you to receive credit card payments on your Apple or Android device. This is especially convenient for people and small businesses that receive most of their payments on the street such as food trucks, small street vendors, etc.\\nIn the U.S., PayPal takes a 2.7% fee for every mobile card swipe. The rate is slightly higher if you manually input the card number or scan it with your phone's camera (3.5% + $.15 per payment.)\\n3-2. Download the PayPal Here App onto your device.\\nThe app is available for free in the Apple Store and Google Play Store. Install the app on your device.\\n3-3. Open the App.\\nYou'll be asked to log in with your PayPal account. The App will confirm your address and phone number. It will then offer to mail you your free Card Reader attachment. Use the confirmation code you were emailed to complete the signup process.\\n3-4. Update your business information by following the prompts.\\nYou can choose to include your location, website, and Facebook. This information will appear on your customers' receipts.\\n3-5. Follow the app's instructions for setting up a payment plan.\\nThe simplest option is to input each sale individually, but you may also want to create a list of individually-priced products to choose from. When a customer is ready to pay, plug the PayPal Card Reader into your device's audio jack. You should receive a \\\"Card Reader Connected\\\" notification.\\n3-6. Input the customer's purchase amount.\\nSelect \\\"Card\\\" on the next page. Swipe your customer's card through the card reader. The card should be positioned so that it is upside down with its strip is facing away from you.\\nWhen swiping, use one smooth, quick motion, ensuring that the entire magnetic strip passes through the card reader.\\nIf you don't have your Card Reader yet, you can still take credit card payments. You will be prompted to enter the card information manually or scan it using your phone.\\n3-7. Have your customer sign their signature directly on your smartphone.\\nClick \\\"Complete Purchase\\\" to finalize the sale and receive payment. Offer to email the customer the receipt.\\n4. Accepting Payments via Email (As an Independent Contractor)\\n4-1. Obtain a valid email address and a PayPal account associated with that address.\\nIf you're an independent contractor, this is all you'll need to receive remote payment online. This option is especially useful for freelance workers operating online. Many businesses that use freelance employees prefer this method of payment for its ease in one-time payments.\\nYour employer will also need a PayPal account for this method. Check with your employer if you're not sure whether they accept this form of paying.\\nIf the person making a payment does not have a PayPal account you can still request money from them. After you log in to your My PayPal page, click Send and Request. On the next page click Request Money and enter the person's email address and the amount requested. On the next page add a note if desired. Then click Request and PayPal will send the request and notify you when the payment arrives.\\n4-2. Tell your employer which email address you used for your PayPal account.\\nThis is all you have to do when you want to be paid. An employer who uses this method of payment will provide their own payment information.\\n4-3. When your employer has paid you, log into your personal PayPal account.\\nFrom your \\\"My Account\\\" homepage, select \\\"Withdraw.\\\" On the next page, you'll have several options for getting your money. You can:\\nTransfer money from your PayPal account to a bank account (for free).\\nRequest a check be mailed to you (for $1.50.)\\nRequest a PayPal debit card (for free).\\nWithdraw cash from an ATM (for $1.00).\\nNote: You should also receive an email at your PayPal-associated email address when you're paid. This email should contain instructions for retrieving your money.\\n4-4. On the next page, provide your payment information.\\nDepending on the method of payment you selected, you may be asked for your bank account number, address, or other contact information. If you transfer your money to a bank account, allow 3-4 days for processing. If you request a check or a debit card, allow 5-10 days for it to arrive.\\nTips\\nIn addition to cards, the PayPal Here app allows you to accept payment in the form of checks, cash, and invoices. These options don't require the Card Reader attachment.\\nPayPal allows you to accept foreign currencies.\\nIf you choose not to link a bank account or credit card to your PayPal Merchant account for verification purposes, you can apply for a PayPal Extras MasterCard. If approved, you can use this card to verify your PayPal account.\\nWarnings\\nThe PayPal seller Protection Program is only available to verified account holders. This program will reimburse you in the event that the credit card company approves the cancellation of a payment by your customer and that the Seller followed the Terms of Service standards set by PayPal.\\nOnly paid PayPal accounts are insured against credit card transactions that the customer cancels.\\nIndependent contractors with free PayPal accounts may initially only withdraw $500 per month from their PayPal account until this limit is lifted. For instructions on lifting the withdraw limit, visit your \\\"My Account\\\" home page, then click the small \\\"view limits\\\" link in the line of grey text under the large \\\"Welcome, (Your Name)\\\" header.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"PayPal is an e-commerce company that handles private and commercial money transfers online. With PayPal, users can pay for goods and services or simply send money to anyone with an email account. Started in 2000, PayPal is available in over 150 markets and can support payments in 24 countries. Anyone can use their services to accept payments by following these easy directions.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Opening an Account\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open a PayPal Business Account if you haven't already.\", \"描述\": \"Begin by visiting the PayPal home page and click on the \\\"Business\\\" tab at the top of the page. Then click on the \\\"Get Started\\\" button in the center of the page.\\nYou can also sign up for just a personal account on this page.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On the next screen, select \\\"Create New Account.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"Follow the instructions to set up your merchant account. Once PayPal verifies your information, you are ready to accept credit card payments on your website or by telephone, mail or fax, e-checks and e-mail payments.\\nYou'll need to provide a valid email address and basic information about your business to create an account.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use the \\\"Specialized Solutions\\\" tab where applicable.\", \"描述\": \"If you do not run a business but still want to use PayPal to collect funds, click on the \\\"Specialized Solutions\\\" tab in the top right of the \\\"Business\\\" page to select the best option for you. There are options for Non-profits, Digital Goods, Education, Political Campaigns, and Government and Financial Services. Choose the category that best describes you.\\nIf you do not fit in any of the above categories, call the toll-free number to talk to a specialist who can help you set up your account.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Placing a PayPal Payment Button on Your Site\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Place a payment button on your business's website.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't already, first create a PayPal business account as described in Part 1. Your customer will be able to click on the payment button on your website and easily make a payment using a credit card, a debit card or a checking account.\\nPayPal also allows you to send invoices with a \\\"Pay Now\\\" button linked to PayPal that allows your customers to pay instantly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Log in to your account from the PayPal home page.\", \"描述\": \"Use the \\\"login\\\" bar in the top right. You'll need to input your email address and the password you chose for your account.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"On your account page, select \\\"Merchant Services.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You'll see a button that says \\\"Create payment buttons for your website.\\\" Click this button.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select your desired button.\", \"描述\": \"Using the drop-down menu, you can select a variety of messages for your button - \\\"Buy Now,\\\" \\\"Add to Cart,\\\" \\\"Donate,\\\" and others. Enter the required information about your product or service, then click \\\"Create Button.\\\"\\nIf you're selling a product, you'll need to know the cost of shipping and any associated tax so this can be added onto your invoices.\\nAt the bottom of the page, you'll see additional options for tracking inventory and customizing your PayPal features.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select \\\"Save Changes\\\" at the bottom of the page.\", \"描述\": \"You'll then be taken to a page that contains a box of HTML code. Copy and paste this code into your website's HTML to create a button on your page. To do this, you'll need the ability to edit your website's HTML code.\\nIf you don't know what HTML code is (or you're not confident enough to edit it), consult one of our many guides on the subject, several of which are listed here: HTML How-To Articles\\nIf you employ a web developer, send him or her the HTML code in the body of an email - he or she will be able to add the button to your website.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using a Mobile Device\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Purchase an Apple or Android smartphone or tablet if you don't have one.\", \"描述\": \"PayPal allows you to receive credit card payments on your Apple or Android device. This is especially convenient for people and small businesses that receive most of their payments on the street such as food trucks, small street vendors, etc.\\nIn the U.S., PayPal takes a 2.7% fee for every mobile card swipe. The rate is slightly higher if you manually input the card number or scan it with your phone's camera (3.5% + $.15 per payment.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Download the PayPal Here App onto your device.\", \"描述\": \"The app is available for free in the Apple Store and Google Play Store. Install the app on your device.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open the App.\", \"描述\": \"You'll be asked to log in with your PayPal account. The App will confirm your address and phone number. It will then offer to mail you your free Card Reader attachment. Use the confirmation code you were emailed to complete the signup process.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Update your business information by following the prompts.\", \"描述\": \"You can choose to include your location, website, and Facebook. This information will appear on your customers' receipts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Follow the app's instructions for setting up a payment plan.\", \"描述\": \"The simplest option is to input each sale individually, but you may also want to create a list of individually-priced products to choose from. When a customer is ready to pay, plug the PayPal Card Reader into your device's audio jack. You should receive a \\\"Card Reader Connected\\\" notification.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Input the customer's purchase amount.\", \"描述\": \"Select \\\"Card\\\" on the next page. Swipe your customer's card through the card reader. The card should be positioned so that it is upside down with its strip is facing away from you.\\nWhen swiping, use one smooth, quick motion, ensuring that the entire magnetic strip passes through the card reader.\\nIf you don't have your Card Reader yet, you can still take credit card payments. You will be prompted to enter the card information manually or scan it using your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have your customer sign their signature directly on your smartphone.\", \"描述\": \"Click \\\"Complete Purchase\\\" to finalize the sale and receive payment. Offer to email the customer the receipt.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accepting Payments via Email (As an Independent Contractor)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Obtain a valid email address and a PayPal account associated with that address.\", \"描述\": \"If you're an independent contractor, this is all you'll need to receive remote payment online. This option is especially useful for freelance workers operating online. Many businesses that use freelance employees prefer this method of payment for its ease in one-time payments.\\nYour employer will also need a PayPal account for this method. Check with your employer if you're not sure whether they accept this form of paying.\\nIf the person making a payment does not have a PayPal account you can still request money from them. After you log in to your My PayPal page, click Send and Request. On the next page click Request Money and enter the person's email address and the amount requested. On the next page add a note if desired. Then click Request and PayPal will send the request and notify you when the payment arrives.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your employer which email address you used for your PayPal account.\", \"描述\": \"This is all you have to do when you want to be paid. An employer who uses this method of payment will provide their own payment information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"When your employer has paid you, log into your personal PayPal account.\", \"描述\": \"From your \\\"My Account\\\" homepage, select \\\"Withdraw.\\\" On the next page, you'll have several options for getting your money. You can:\\nTransfer money from your PayPal account to a bank account (for free).\\nRequest a check be mailed to you (for $1.50.)\\nRequest a PayPal debit card (for free).\\nWithdraw cash from an ATM (for $1.00).\\nNote: You should also receive an email at your PayPal-associated email address when you're paid. This email should contain instructions for retrieving your money.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"On the next page, provide your payment information.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the method of payment you selected, you may be asked for your bank account number, address, or other contact information. If you transfer your money to a bank account, allow 3-4 days for processing. If you request a check or a debit card, allow 5-10 days for it to arrive.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"In addition to cards, the PayPal Here app allows you to accept payment in the form of checks, cash, and invoices. These options don't require the Card Reader attachment.\\n\", \"PayPal allows you to accept foreign currencies.\\n\", \"If you choose not to link a bank account or credit card to your PayPal Merchant account for verification purposes, you can apply for a PayPal Extras MasterCard. If approved, you can use this card to verify your PayPal account.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"The PayPal seller Protection Program is only available to verified account holders. This program will reimburse you in the event that the credit card company approves the cancellation of a payment by your customer and that the Seller followed the Terms of Service standards set by PayPal.\\n\", \"Only paid PayPal accounts are insured against credit card transactions that the customer cancels.\\n\", \"Independent contractors with free PayPal accounts may initially only withdraw $500 per month from their PayPal account until this limit is lifted. For instructions on lifting the withdraw limit, visit your \\\"My Account\\\" home page, then click the small \\\"view limits\\\" link in the line of grey text under the large \\\"Welcome, (Your Name)\\\" header.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
115 | How to Accept Rejection | 1. Having a More Positive Mindset
1-1. Don't let it define you.
One way to have a more positive mindset as you learn to accept rejection is to not let it tell you who you are. Whether you got dumped by your girlfriend or were denied a job offer or rejected from your top choice college, you can't let whatever happened let you feel like you're not worth it. Sure, being rejected is never easy or pleasant, but it only has to do with one specific situation at one given moment and does not define you as a person.
Instead of saying, "I was rejected by my top college," say something like, "I was denied acceptance." Don't think of it as you being rejected as a person, but as you not getting the circumstances you wanted.
If the rejection makes you feel like a worthless loser, then it'll only make you destined to fail again. Instead, focus on the circumstances of what happened, not on the fact that it happened to you.
1-2. Be proud of yourself for trying.
Another way to put a positive spin on rejection is to think about all of the people who never even got the courage to try what you attempted to do. Maybe you put your heart out there and asked your crush out on a date. Maybe you emailed a query letter to a literary agent to see if he or she wanted to take a look at your novel manuscript. Maybe you applied for a job that you knew was a reach. Even if it didn't work out the way you wanted, you should pat yourself on the back for having the courage to put yourself out there.
Don't be bummed that you got rejected. Be excited that you had the guts to embrace a unique opportunity. Think about what else you can achieve or try to achieve. The sky's the limit.
1-3. Don't catastrophize.
People tend to take one rejection and let it make them feel completely inadequate, like it means that they can never do anything right in that arena again. If you got rejected by a girlfriend, you need to look at it as an isolated situation, not a sign that you will never find love. If your book proposal got rejected by three agents, don't let it make you think that the next thirty won't have any kinder words for you. Think of all the future husbands/writers/geniuses who never would have accomplished anything if they stopped after hearing just one "no."
Instead, look at it as an opportunity to grow and try again. If you let just one, or even just a few, or even a few dozen, rejections make you think that this is the way things will always be, then you'll have a hard time finding happiness or success.
If it was a 'once-in-a-lifetime' opportunity, it can be hard not to catastrophize. Avoid dwelling on the things you'll miss, as thinking 'if only' will not change anything. Find another opportunity for something similar, and do your best to prepare.
1-4. Focus on the positive aspects of the rejection (if there are any).
Okay, so let's face it: sometimes, rejection is just rejection, and there is nothing good about it at all. However, there are some times when a silver lining can be drawn out, if you look hard enough, or even if you don't look all that hard. You might have been rejected from a job, but told that you should apply again in six months because you were a strong candidate; though this is still a rejection, you can also think of it as a way of getting your foot in the door. It's all in how you choose to look at it — do you want to think of the glass as completely empty, or at least to search for a few precious drops of water that can help quench your thirst?
If you were rejected in a relationship, you may not think that there is anything good about this at all, at first. However, you can also choose to look at it as a chance you had to fall in love, and the opportunity to see that you can find it again. This is far better than just looking at it as a rejection with absolutely nothing in the "plus" column.
If an agent rejected your manuscript, maybe he also happened to tell you that you have a lot of talent and that you shouldn't hesitate to reach out again with a revision or a future project. Though you didn't land the agent of your dreams, you did get someone's attention, and have heightened your chances of getting noticed the next time around.
1-5. Don't take it personally.
Another way to be more positive when it comes to rejection is not to take things so personally. If you get rejected for a job, or if you don't get into your dream college, try not to make it all about something being wrong with you. You never know why you got rejected for a job — maybe someone was hired internally, maybe they were looking for someone who could relocate more immediately — and it's unlikely that it's because you're an unqualified loser with no future. Know that rejection happens to the best of us, and that it has nothing to do with you as a person.
Okay, so if you get dumped by your significant other, then it's hard not to take it personally. But try to step back and look at the bigger picture. If you were rejected, it's because something about the relationship just wasn't working. It doesn't mean that you're not right for anybody — it just means that you weren't right for this particular person, right now.
Remember: a business needs to make decisions that will profit them. Your application wasn't rejected because they like to make people feel bad. Don't be afraid to reapply if the opportunity arises.
1-6. Think positively about the future.
Another way to be more upbeat when it comes to rejection is to always look to the future, instead of wallowing in regret or trying to figure out why the present is so awful. If you get rejected by a job, think of all other jobs and opportunities out there for you. If you get rejected in a relationship, think of all of the other exciting people you have yet to meet. If your first novel gets rejected by fifty agents and you feel like you're losing faith in it, think of all the amazing words you have left to write. If you let your rejection define everything in your life and don't see that there is so much more out there, you'll never be able to move on from it.
When you get rejected from something, think about all of the untapped opportunities still out there. Write them down and look at them. If you truly feel that there's really nothing out there, ask a friend to help you brainstorm. It's pretty unlikely that there's nothing else to look forward to.
2. Learning from Rejection
2-1. Think of it as cutting your teeth.
One way to look at rejection is to think that it is inevitable on your path to success. After all, how many actresses got the leading role after their first auditions? How many writers got their book published on their first attempt? You may think that success either comes naturally to people or it doesn't, but the fact of the matter is that rejections should be worn as badges of honor and signs of your commitment, not as indicators of your future success. Whenever you get rejected, just think of it as an inevitable step on the way to success.
If you're a writer seeking publication, tell yourself that you won't even have a chance to publish one of your short stories before you get 50 rejections. Every time you get one, just think of it as a step on your way to success.
If you're seeking a new job, you should consider the fact that you'll get at least 5 or 10, or even 15 rejections for every time you're asked for an interview. Be proud of all of those rejections because it means you're trying and that you're closer to acceptance.
2-2. See what you can do better the next time.
Use the rejection to help you think about your future and the next attempt you make at whatever it is you're trying to achieve. If you didn't do well in an interview, ask yourself if you can improve your communication style or your body language — or even if you can rack up more experience before you try to follow the same path again. If your novel manuscript was rejected, ask yourself if it could stand another revision that cuts some of the meandering scenes or sharpens the dialogue. Think about the improvements you can make before you try again the next time, and work to achieve them.
If you're lucky enough to get constructive feedback, then use it to help you move forward. If an employer told you you need to improve your writing skills, then get a tutor or ask a well-versed friend for help. If an agent told you your protagonist isn't original enough, see if you need to make him or her stand out.
Of course, some of the feedback you get may be worthless or completely missing the point. You don't have to change yourself or your work to meet another person's notion of success unless you agree with it.
2-3. Look at how much you've progressed since the first rejection.
If this is your first time being rejected, then hats off to you — welcome to the club. Most of us have been rejected many times in one way or another, if you're anything like this, then you probably have a stack of rejections stored away somewhere. Don't look at this as something sad, but be proud of yourself for all of the rejections you've racked up. Then, take a look at some of your earlier rejections and see if you can chart how much you've progressed since then, whether we're talking professionally or personally. You'll see that you've grown so much as a student, writer, human, or whatever the case may be.
This works especially well if you're a struggling writer. Take a look at your earlier stories and compare them to the ones you're working on now. Sure, if you're still facing a lot of rejection, then you may have doubts about your work, but don't let it get to you. Instead, think about how much you've progressed since that first rejection, and be proud of yourself for plugging forward.
If we're talking about romantic rejections here, then yeah, it may not be easy to "rack" them up. Still, thinking about that first failed relationship, and consider how much you've grown as a person and how much you've been able to open up. Remember that not all rejections are created equal, and that you're always progressing, even if you feel like the rejection never ends.
2-4. Know when it's time to move on.
One of the hardest parts of accepting rejection is having to consider whether or not the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing. Though you shouldn't let rejection get you down or keep you from fulfilling your potential, there's a time and a place for everything, and if you've had an endless string of rejection, it may be the moment to ask yourself whether the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing, or whether you should go about it a different way. Insanity has been defined as trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you feel like you've been trying the same approach again and again and keep getting rejected, it may be time to follow a new path.
There's a really fine line between being persistent and being stubborn. If you really believe that your book is polished and ready for an agent, then you may keep trying to find the right agent for your work after the first sixty rejections. But if all of the rejections are telling you that the book needs a lot of work, then your time may be better spent in revising your manuscript than in facing the same form of rejection again and again.
If you've been asking out or trying to win back the same girl for months, and you feel like you're going nowhere, then it may be time to accept what happened and to move on. Use the experience to help you find a person who will like you for who you are instead of trying to force it.
2-5. Know that everything happens for a reason (most of the time).
Sure, "everything happens for a reason" may be one of the most annoying things you can possibly hear, especially when you've just been devastated by a rejection. You may think that this is just an empty phrase that people use to comfort each other and that it has no real substance. Of course, there are times when something really crappy happens and you have to lick your wounds and move on. But if you think about past rejections or setbacks in your life, you may see that they actually led to something wonderful. Even if it may not seem that way right now, accept the fact that this rejection could lead to something positive that you can't yet imagine.
Let's say you got rejected from the tennis team. You may have been training all summer for it and banking everything on it, but now, you can still try out for the volleyball team. And who knows — this sport may be a better fit for you, after all.
You may feel like your college experience won't be the same if you don't go to University of Michigan like you always wanted, but once you do get to college, you wouldn't be able to imagine your life without any of your new friends by your side. You'll look back on the day when you thought that UMich was your dream school and you'll laugh. This may not be imaginable now, but really, it'll happen.
Maybe you'll get rejected from what you thought was your dream job. Well, the rejection may lead you to take your career in a slightly new direction — and to find a new path that you never would have otherwise considered.
3. Going the Extra Mile
3-1. Talk to your friends about it.
Another way to accept rejection a little more easily is to talk to a trusted friend about how you're feeling. If you're feeling low about being rejected, whether it's in a professional or a personal setting, sometimes nothing can make you feel better than talking to a trusted friend about it. Don't keep all of your angry or hurt feelings inside and stop dwelling on what might have been. Instead, call up an old friend or set up a coffee date and talk about your feelings. You'll instantly feel better and you'll be able to move on faster because you'll have someone to talk to about your problems.
You may feel that the rejection was a catastrophe. However, a friend can give you a more rational, down-to-earth take on the situation.
However, don't let this turn into you ranting about what happened to the five closest people within earshot. Having a friend's unbiased and helpful opinion can help cheer you on, but complaining and rehashing the same problems over and over again can actually just make you feel worse.
Make sure you're talking to someone who understands how much the rejection means to you. Having a friend say, "It's not the end of the world!" when you feel like it is may be the last thing you want to hear.
3-2. Talk to other people about their experiences with rejection.
Chances are that you're not the only person in the world who has ever dealt with rejection. If you're feeling completely low, talk to a friend, family member, or coworker about the rejection and see what these people have gone through and suffered. Sure, your friend may have an ideal marriage now, but you never heard about the ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. Your writer friend may be at the height of his career, but you forgot about the four novels he had to write before having his work accepted for publication.
Talking to other people about their own experiences with rejection will make you feel like you're less alone, and that everyone else has felt what you're feeling, in one sense or another.
3-3. See how many successful people have dealt with rejection.
The stories of how some of the most successful people in our culture faced one rejection after another before making it big. Knowing that you're not alone in the world when you face a rejection can help you get more motivated to push forward. Though, of course, not all people who face rejection become wildly famous, it couldn't hurt to reach for the stars. Here are some things to chew on:
Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers before it found a home.
Marilyn Monroe was told she should quit acting when she first began. Modeling agencies told her she'd be better off as a secretary.
Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he was told his stories lacked imagination.
Oprah Winfrey was fired from an early gig as a news reporter because she was told she didn't know how to separate her emotions from her stories.
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
3-4. Make a habit of getting rejected when it doesn't matter that much.
Another way to accept rejection is to learn to get rejected early and often. If you don't get rejected very often, then that will make it sting so much more. But if you do it routinely, especially when you don't really care all that much, then you'll learn to accept it and to see it for what it is — no big deal. Depending on your situation, there are many ways you can regularly get into the habit of getting rejected — and therefore be able to accept it faster.
If you're upset about getting rejected by girls when you try to ask them out, make a habit of doing it more often. No, this doesn't mean you should ask out every girl in sight, but let's say you ask out girls 10-20% more often than you used to. If you keep getting rejected, especially if you know your heart won't really be broken, then you'll be getting into the habit of getting rejected and won't see it as such a big deal the next time it happens.
If you feel devastated every time you try to send your stories out to literary journals and get a big fat rejection, then you should send your stories out to even more places. Of course, this doesn't mean you should send them out before you feel that they are ready, but that you should send them out more often, so that you won't feel the burn after you get the next rejection you've been waiting on for months.
3-5. Don't dwell on it.
If you want to accept rejection and move on, then you have to learn to stop dwelling on whatever bad thing happened to you. You should talk about it, write about it, make some pro and con lists about your future decisions, or do whatever you have to do to absorb and accept what happened. However, you should work on finding other enriching experiences, whether it's spending time with friends or pursuing your love for photography, to keep you going so you don't spend all your time dwelling on the rejection. Once you admit that it happened, the best thing you can do is to move forward.
Easier said than done, right? It's hard to stop dwelling on rejection, especially if you're feeling bitter, confused, or hurt. But the sooner you make a goal to find other fulfilling ways to spend your time, the sooner you'll be able to move forward.
That said, if we're talking about a breakup, you should avoid having a set grieving period. Let yourself feel what you feel, spend some time crying, writing in your journal, and just dealing with your emotions, and only move on when you're ready.
3-6. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Another way to be more accepting of rejection is to try to avoid banking absolutely everything in your life on one result. This can mean getting into the prestigious Iowa Writer's Workshop if you're a writer, getting married to your long-term significant other, or becoming the principal of the school where you work within five years. Though having goals, both personal and professional, is what keeps us motivated to move forward, you should avoid letting one thing matter to you so, so much that not getting it will truly crush you.
This isn't to say that you won't be deeply hurt if the person you've banked your future on rejects you. But it is to say that, while you can still be deeply in love, you should always feel like you have other things going on in your life other than your relationship. You can't let it be everything for you.
Okay, so you may really be dying to go to the Iowa Writer's Workshop. You may think it's your only path to being a published writer. But make sure you apply to at least a handful of other programs. You'll find that you'll be accepted somewhere, and that you'll still have an enriching experience where you get to explore your passion. If you think it's Iowa or bust, then you're going to be incredibly disappointed when it doesn't work out.
Tips
Consult a person you trust. This helps let everything out.
Imagine the person who rejected you and you guys talked it out into a way you like.
Warnings
Don't let bitterness dwell inside of you. It will only lead to no good.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Having a More Positive Mindset\\n1-1. Don't let it define you.\\nOne way to have a more positive mindset as you learn to accept rejection is to not let it tell you who you are. Whether you got dumped by your girlfriend or were denied a job offer or rejected from your top choice college, you can't let whatever happened let you feel like you're not worth it. Sure, being rejected is never easy or pleasant, but it only has to do with one specific situation at one given moment and does not define you as a person.\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I was rejected by my top college,\\\" say something like, \\\"I was denied acceptance.\\\" Don't think of it as you being rejected as a person, but as you not getting the circumstances you wanted.\\nIf the rejection makes you feel like a worthless loser, then it'll only make you destined to fail again. Instead, focus on the circumstances of what happened, not on the fact that it happened to you.\\n1-2. Be proud of yourself for trying.\\nAnother way to put a positive spin on rejection is to think about all of the people who never even got the courage to try what you attempted to do. Maybe you put your heart out there and asked your crush out on a date. Maybe you emailed a query letter to a literary agent to see if he or she wanted to take a look at your novel manuscript. Maybe you applied for a job that you knew was a reach. Even if it didn't work out the way you wanted, you should pat yourself on the back for having the courage to put yourself out there.\\nDon't be bummed that you got rejected. Be excited that you had the guts to embrace a unique opportunity. Think about what else you can achieve or try to achieve. The sky's the limit.\\n1-3. Don't catastrophize.\\nPeople tend to take one rejection and let it make them feel completely inadequate, like it means that they can never do anything right in that arena again. If you got rejected by a girlfriend, you need to look at it as an isolated situation, not a sign that you will never find love. If your book proposal got rejected by three agents, don't let it make you think that the next thirty won't have any kinder words for you. Think of all the future husbands/writers/geniuses who never would have accomplished anything if they stopped after hearing just one \\\"no.\\\"\\nInstead, look at it as an opportunity to grow and try again. If you let just one, or even just a few, or even a few dozen, rejections make you think that this is the way things will always be, then you'll have a hard time finding happiness or success.\\nIf it was a 'once-in-a-lifetime' opportunity, it can be hard not to catastrophize. Avoid dwelling on the things you'll miss, as thinking 'if only' will not change anything. Find another opportunity for something similar, and do your best to prepare.\\n1-4. Focus on the positive aspects of the rejection (if there are any).\\nOkay, so let's face it: sometimes, rejection is just rejection, and there is nothing good about it at all. However, there are some times when a silver lining can be drawn out, if you look hard enough, or even if you don't look all that hard. You might have been rejected from a job, but told that you should apply again in six months because you were a strong candidate; though this is still a rejection, you can also think of it as a way of getting your foot in the door. It's all in how you choose to look at it — do you want to think of the glass as completely empty, or at least to search for a few precious drops of water that can help quench your thirst?\\nIf you were rejected in a relationship, you may not think that there is anything good about this at all, at first. However, you can also choose to look at it as a chance you had to fall in love, and the opportunity to see that you can find it again. This is far better than just looking at it as a rejection with absolutely nothing in the \\\"plus\\\" column.\\nIf an agent rejected your manuscript, maybe he also happened to tell you that you have a lot of talent and that you shouldn't hesitate to reach out again with a revision or a future project. Though you didn't land the agent of your dreams, you did get someone's attention, and have heightened your chances of getting noticed the next time around.\\n1-5. Don't take it personally.\\nAnother way to be more positive when it comes to rejection is not to take things so personally. If you get rejected for a job, or if you don't get into your dream college, try not to make it all about something being wrong with you. You never know why you got rejected for a job — maybe someone was hired internally, maybe they were looking for someone who could relocate more immediately — and it's unlikely that it's because you're an unqualified loser with no future. Know that rejection happens to the best of us, and that it has nothing to do with you as a person.\\nOkay, so if you get dumped by your significant other, then it's hard not to take it personally. But try to step back and look at the bigger picture. If you were rejected, it's because something about the relationship just wasn't working. It doesn't mean that you're not right for anybody — it just means that you weren't right for this particular person, right now.\\nRemember: a business needs to make decisions that will profit them. Your application wasn't rejected because they like to make people feel bad. Don't be afraid to reapply if the opportunity arises.\\n1-6. Think positively about the future.\\nAnother way to be more upbeat when it comes to rejection is to always look to the future, instead of wallowing in regret or trying to figure out why the present is so awful. If you get rejected by a job, think of all other jobs and opportunities out there for you. If you get rejected in a relationship, think of all of the other exciting people you have yet to meet. If your first novel gets rejected by fifty agents and you feel like you're losing faith in it, think of all the amazing words you have left to write. If you let your rejection define everything in your life and don't see that there is so much more out there, you'll never be able to move on from it.\\nWhen you get rejected from something, think about all of the untapped opportunities still out there. Write them down and look at them. If you truly feel that there's really nothing out there, ask a friend to help you brainstorm. It's pretty unlikely that there's nothing else to look forward to.\\n2. Learning from Rejection\\n2-1. Think of it as cutting your teeth.\\nOne way to look at rejection is to think that it is inevitable on your path to success. After all, how many actresses got the leading role after their first auditions? How many writers got their book published on their first attempt? You may think that success either comes naturally to people or it doesn't, but the fact of the matter is that rejections should be worn as badges of honor and signs of your commitment, not as indicators of your future success. Whenever you get rejected, just think of it as an inevitable step on the way to success.\\nIf you're a writer seeking publication, tell yourself that you won't even have a chance to publish one of your short stories before you get 50 rejections. Every time you get one, just think of it as a step on your way to success.\\nIf you're seeking a new job, you should consider the fact that you'll get at least 5 or 10, or even 15 rejections for every time you're asked for an interview. Be proud of all of those rejections because it means you're trying and that you're closer to acceptance.\\n2-2. See what you can do better the next time.\\nUse the rejection to help you think about your future and the next attempt you make at whatever it is you're trying to achieve. If you didn't do well in an interview, ask yourself if you can improve your communication style or your body language — or even if you can rack up more experience before you try to follow the same path again. If your novel manuscript was rejected, ask yourself if it could stand another revision that cuts some of the meandering scenes or sharpens the dialogue. Think about the improvements you can make before you try again the next time, and work to achieve them.\\nIf you're lucky enough to get constructive feedback, then use it to help you move forward. If an employer told you you need to improve your writing skills, then get a tutor or ask a well-versed friend for help. If an agent told you your protagonist isn't original enough, see if you need to make him or her stand out.\\nOf course, some of the feedback you get may be worthless or completely missing the point. You don't have to change yourself or your work to meet another person's notion of success unless you agree with it.\\n2-3. Look at how much you've progressed since the first rejection.\\nIf this is your first time being rejected, then hats off to you — welcome to the club. Most of us have been rejected many times in one way or another, if you're anything like this, then you probably have a stack of rejections stored away somewhere. Don't look at this as something sad, but be proud of yourself for all of the rejections you've racked up. Then, take a look at some of your earlier rejections and see if you can chart how much you've progressed since then, whether we're talking professionally or personally. You'll see that you've grown so much as a student, writer, human, or whatever the case may be.\\nThis works especially well if you're a struggling writer. Take a look at your earlier stories and compare them to the ones you're working on now. Sure, if you're still facing a lot of rejection, then you may have doubts about your work, but don't let it get to you. Instead, think about how much you've progressed since that first rejection, and be proud of yourself for plugging forward.\\nIf we're talking about romantic rejections here, then yeah, it may not be easy to \\\"rack\\\" them up. Still, thinking about that first failed relationship, and consider how much you've grown as a person and how much you've been able to open up. Remember that not all rejections are created equal, and that you're always progressing, even if you feel like the rejection never ends.\\n2-4. Know when it's time to move on.\\nOne of the hardest parts of accepting rejection is having to consider whether or not the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing. Though you shouldn't let rejection get you down or keep you from fulfilling your potential, there's a time and a place for everything, and if you've had an endless string of rejection, it may be the moment to ask yourself whether the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing, or whether you should go about it a different way. Insanity has been defined as trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you feel like you've been trying the same approach again and again and keep getting rejected, it may be time to follow a new path.\\nThere's a really fine line between being persistent and being stubborn. If you really believe that your book is polished and ready for an agent, then you may keep trying to find the right agent for your work after the first sixty rejections. But if all of the rejections are telling you that the book needs a lot of work, then your time may be better spent in revising your manuscript than in facing the same form of rejection again and again.\\nIf you've been asking out or trying to win back the same girl for months, and you feel like you're going nowhere, then it may be time to accept what happened and to move on. Use the experience to help you find a person who will like you for who you are instead of trying to force it.\\n2-5. Know that everything happens for a reason (most of the time).\\nSure, \\\"everything happens for a reason\\\" may be one of the most annoying things you can possibly hear, especially when you've just been devastated by a rejection. You may think that this is just an empty phrase that people use to comfort each other and that it has no real substance. Of course, there are times when something really crappy happens and you have to lick your wounds and move on. But if you think about past rejections or setbacks in your life, you may see that they actually led to something wonderful. Even if it may not seem that way right now, accept the fact that this rejection could lead to something positive that you can't yet imagine.\\nLet's say you got rejected from the tennis team. You may have been training all summer for it and banking everything on it, but now, you can still try out for the volleyball team. And who knows — this sport may be a better fit for you, after all.\\nYou may feel like your college experience won't be the same if you don't go to University of Michigan like you always wanted, but once you do get to college, you wouldn't be able to imagine your life without any of your new friends by your side. You'll look back on the day when you thought that UMich was your dream school and you'll laugh. This may not be imaginable now, but really, it'll happen.\\nMaybe you'll get rejected from what you thought was your dream job. Well, the rejection may lead you to take your career in a slightly new direction — and to find a new path that you never would have otherwise considered.\\n3. Going the Extra Mile\\n3-1. Talk to your friends about it.\\nAnother way to accept rejection a little more easily is to talk to a trusted friend about how you're feeling. If you're feeling low about being rejected, whether it's in a professional or a personal setting, sometimes nothing can make you feel better than talking to a trusted friend about it. Don't keep all of your angry or hurt feelings inside and stop dwelling on what might have been. Instead, call up an old friend or set up a coffee date and talk about your feelings. You'll instantly feel better and you'll be able to move on faster because you'll have someone to talk to about your problems.\\nYou may feel that the rejection was a catastrophe. However, a friend can give you a more rational, down-to-earth take on the situation.\\nHowever, don't let this turn into you ranting about what happened to the five closest people within earshot. Having a friend's unbiased and helpful opinion can help cheer you on, but complaining and rehashing the same problems over and over again can actually just make you feel worse.\\nMake sure you're talking to someone who understands how much the rejection means to you. Having a friend say, \\\"It's not the end of the world!\\\" when you feel like it is may be the last thing you want to hear.\\n3-2. Talk to other people about their experiences with rejection.\\nChances are that you're not the only person in the world who has ever dealt with rejection. If you're feeling completely low, talk to a friend, family member, or coworker about the rejection and see what these people have gone through and suffered. Sure, your friend may have an ideal marriage now, but you never heard about the ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. Your writer friend may be at the height of his career, but you forgot about the four novels he had to write before having his work accepted for publication.\\nTalking to other people about their own experiences with rejection will make you feel like you're less alone, and that everyone else has felt what you're feeling, in one sense or another.\\n3-3. See how many successful people have dealt with rejection.\\nThe stories of how some of the most successful people in our culture faced one rejection after another before making it big. Knowing that you're not alone in the world when you face a rejection can help you get more motivated to push forward. Though, of course, not all people who face rejection become wildly famous, it couldn't hurt to reach for the stars. Here are some things to chew on:\\nMargaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers before it found a home.\\nMarilyn Monroe was told she should quit acting when she first began. Modeling agencies told her she'd be better off as a secretary.\\nWalt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he was told his stories lacked imagination.\\nOprah Winfrey was fired from an early gig as a news reporter because she was told she didn't know how to separate her emotions from her stories.\\nMichael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.\\n3-4. Make a habit of getting rejected when it doesn't matter that much.\\nAnother way to accept rejection is to learn to get rejected early and often. If you don't get rejected very often, then that will make it sting so much more. But if you do it routinely, especially when you don't really care all that much, then you'll learn to accept it and to see it for what it is — no big deal. Depending on your situation, there are many ways you can regularly get into the habit of getting rejected — and therefore be able to accept it faster.\\nIf you're upset about getting rejected by girls when you try to ask them out, make a habit of doing it more often. No, this doesn't mean you should ask out every girl in sight, but let's say you ask out girls 10-20% more often than you used to. If you keep getting rejected, especially if you know your heart won't really be broken, then you'll be getting into the habit of getting rejected and won't see it as such a big deal the next time it happens.\\nIf you feel devastated every time you try to send your stories out to literary journals and get a big fat rejection, then you should send your stories out to even more places. Of course, this doesn't mean you should send them out before you feel that they are ready, but that you should send them out more often, so that you won't feel the burn after you get the next rejection you've been waiting on for months.\\n3-5. Don't dwell on it.\\nIf you want to accept rejection and move on, then you have to learn to stop dwelling on whatever bad thing happened to you. You should talk about it, write about it, make some pro and con lists about your future decisions, or do whatever you have to do to absorb and accept what happened. However, you should work on finding other enriching experiences, whether it's spending time with friends or pursuing your love for photography, to keep you going so you don't spend all your time dwelling on the rejection. Once you admit that it happened, the best thing you can do is to move forward.\\nEasier said than done, right? It's hard to stop dwelling on rejection, especially if you're feeling bitter, confused, or hurt. But the sooner you make a goal to find other fulfilling ways to spend your time, the sooner you'll be able to move forward.\\nThat said, if we're talking about a breakup, you should avoid having a set grieving period. Let yourself feel what you feel, spend some time crying, writing in your journal, and just dealing with your emotions, and only move on when you're ready.\\n3-6. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.\\nAnother way to be more accepting of rejection is to try to avoid banking absolutely everything in your life on one result. This can mean getting into the prestigious Iowa Writer's Workshop if you're a writer, getting married to your long-term significant other, or becoming the principal of the school where you work within five years. Though having goals, both personal and professional, is what keeps us motivated to move forward, you should avoid letting one thing matter to you so, so much that not getting it will truly crush you.\\nThis isn't to say that you won't be deeply hurt if the person you've banked your future on rejects you. But it is to say that, while you can still be deeply in love, you should always feel like you have other things going on in your life other than your relationship. You can't let it be everything for you.\\nOkay, so you may really be dying to go to the Iowa Writer's Workshop. You may think it's your only path to being a published writer. But make sure you apply to at least a handful of other programs. You'll find that you'll be accepted somewhere, and that you'll still have an enriching experience where you get to explore your passion. If you think it's Iowa or bust, then you're going to be incredibly disappointed when it doesn't work out.\\nTips\\nConsult a person you trust. This helps let everything out.\\nImagine the person who rejected you and you guys talked it out into a way you like.\\nWarnings\\nDon't let bitterness dwell inside of you. It will only lead to no good.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"F. Scott Fitzgerald once received a rejection letter that said, \\\"You'd have a decent novel if you got rid of that Gatsby character.\\\" Of course, not every rejection leads to wild success, but why can't yours? If you want to succeed in all of your endeavors, learning how to accept rejection, grow from your setbacks, and come back with more strength and passion than ever will help. To help you get there, we've rounded up the best tips for dealing with rejection and letting it go instead of dwelling on it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Having a More Positive Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't let it define you.\", \"描述\": \"One way to have a more positive mindset as you learn to accept rejection is to not let it tell you who you are. Whether you got dumped by your girlfriend or were denied a job offer or rejected from your top choice college, you can't let whatever happened let you feel like you're not worth it. Sure, being rejected is never easy or pleasant, but it only has to do with one specific situation at one given moment and does not define you as a person.\\nInstead of saying, \\\"I was rejected by my top college,\\\" say something like, \\\"I was denied acceptance.\\\" Don't think of it as you being rejected as a person, but as you not getting the circumstances you wanted.\\nIf the rejection makes you feel like a worthless loser, then it'll only make you destined to fail again. Instead, focus on the circumstances of what happened, not on the fact that it happened to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be proud of yourself for trying.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to put a positive spin on rejection is to think about all of the people who never even got the courage to try what you attempted to do. Maybe you put your heart out there and asked your crush out on a date. Maybe you emailed a query letter to a literary agent to see if he or she wanted to take a look at your novel manuscript. Maybe you applied for a job that you knew was a reach. Even if it didn't work out the way you wanted, you should pat yourself on the back for having the courage to put yourself out there.\\nDon't be bummed that you got rejected. Be excited that you had the guts to embrace a unique opportunity. Think about what else you can achieve or try to achieve. The sky's the limit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't catastrophize.\", \"描述\": \"People tend to take one rejection and let it make them feel completely inadequate, like it means that they can never do anything right in that arena again. If you got rejected by a girlfriend, you need to look at it as an isolated situation, not a sign that you will never find love. If your book proposal got rejected by three agents, don't let it make you think that the next thirty won't have any kinder words for you. Think of all the future husbands/writers/geniuses who never would have accomplished anything if they stopped after hearing just one \\\"no.\\\"\\nInstead, look at it as an opportunity to grow and try again. If you let just one, or even just a few, or even a few dozen, rejections make you think that this is the way things will always be, then you'll have a hard time finding happiness or success.\\nIf it was a 'once-in-a-lifetime' opportunity, it can be hard not to catastrophize. Avoid dwelling on the things you'll miss, as thinking 'if only' will not change anything. Find another opportunity for something similar, and do your best to prepare.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on the positive aspects of the rejection (if there are any).\", \"描述\": \"Okay, so let's face it: sometimes, rejection is just rejection, and there is nothing good about it at all. However, there are some times when a silver lining can be drawn out, if you look hard enough, or even if you don't look all that hard. You might have been rejected from a job, but told that you should apply again in six months because you were a strong candidate; though this is still a rejection, you can also think of it as a way of getting your foot in the door. It's all in how you choose to look at it — do you want to think of the glass as completely empty, or at least to search for a few precious drops of water that can help quench your thirst?\\nIf you were rejected in a relationship, you may not think that there is anything good about this at all, at first. However, you can also choose to look at it as a chance you had to fall in love, and the opportunity to see that you can find it again. This is far better than just looking at it as a rejection with absolutely nothing in the \\\"plus\\\" column.\\nIf an agent rejected your manuscript, maybe he also happened to tell you that you have a lot of talent and that you shouldn't hesitate to reach out again with a revision or a future project. Though you didn't land the agent of your dreams, you did get someone's attention, and have heightened your chances of getting noticed the next time around.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't take it personally.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be more positive when it comes to rejection is not to take things so personally. If you get rejected for a job, or if you don't get into your dream college, try not to make it all about something being wrong with you. You never know why you got rejected for a job — maybe someone was hired internally, maybe they were looking for someone who could relocate more immediately — and it's unlikely that it's because you're an unqualified loser with no future. Know that rejection happens to the best of us, and that it has nothing to do with you as a person.\\nOkay, so if you get dumped by your significant other, then it's hard not to take it personally. But try to step back and look at the bigger picture. If you were rejected, it's because something about the relationship just wasn't working. It doesn't mean that you're not right for anybody — it just means that you weren't right for this particular person, right now.\\nRemember: a business needs to make decisions that will profit them. Your application wasn't rejected because they like to make people feel bad. Don't be afraid to reapply if the opportunity arises.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think positively about the future.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be more upbeat when it comes to rejection is to always look to the future, instead of wallowing in regret or trying to figure out why the present is so awful. If you get rejected by a job, think of all other jobs and opportunities out there for you. If you get rejected in a relationship, think of all of the other exciting people you have yet to meet. If your first novel gets rejected by fifty agents and you feel like you're losing faith in it, think of all the amazing words you have left to write. If you let your rejection define everything in your life and don't see that there is so much more out there, you'll never be able to move on from it.\\nWhen you get rejected from something, think about all of the untapped opportunities still out there. Write them down and look at them. If you truly feel that there's really nothing out there, ask a friend to help you brainstorm. It's pretty unlikely that there's nothing else to look forward to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning from Rejection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think of it as cutting your teeth.\", \"描述\": \"One way to look at rejection is to think that it is inevitable on your path to success. After all, how many actresses got the leading role after their first auditions? How many writers got their book published on their first attempt? You may think that success either comes naturally to people or it doesn't, but the fact of the matter is that rejections should be worn as badges of honor and signs of your commitment, not as indicators of your future success. Whenever you get rejected, just think of it as an inevitable step on the way to success.\\nIf you're a writer seeking publication, tell yourself that you won't even have a chance to publish one of your short stories before you get 50 rejections. Every time you get one, just think of it as a step on your way to success.\\nIf you're seeking a new job, you should consider the fact that you'll get at least 5 or 10, or even 15 rejections for every time you're asked for an interview. Be proud of all of those rejections because it means you're trying and that you're closer to acceptance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"See what you can do better the next time.\", \"描述\": \"Use the rejection to help you think about your future and the next attempt you make at whatever it is you're trying to achieve. If you didn't do well in an interview, ask yourself if you can improve your communication style or your body language — or even if you can rack up more experience before you try to follow the same path again. If your novel manuscript was rejected, ask yourself if it could stand another revision that cuts some of the meandering scenes or sharpens the dialogue. Think about the improvements you can make before you try again the next time, and work to achieve them.\\nIf you're lucky enough to get constructive feedback, then use it to help you move forward. If an employer told you you need to improve your writing skills, then get a tutor or ask a well-versed friend for help. If an agent told you your protagonist isn't original enough, see if you need to make him or her stand out.\\nOf course, some of the feedback you get may be worthless or completely missing the point. You don't have to change yourself or your work to meet another person's notion of success unless you agree with it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look at how much you've progressed since the first rejection.\", \"描述\": \"If this is your first time being rejected, then hats off to you — welcome to the club. Most of us have been rejected many times in one way or another, if you're anything like this, then you probably have a stack of rejections stored away somewhere. Don't look at this as something sad, but be proud of yourself for all of the rejections you've racked up. Then, take a look at some of your earlier rejections and see if you can chart how much you've progressed since then, whether we're talking professionally or personally. You'll see that you've grown so much as a student, writer, human, or whatever the case may be.\\nThis works especially well if you're a struggling writer. Take a look at your earlier stories and compare them to the ones you're working on now. Sure, if you're still facing a lot of rejection, then you may have doubts about your work, but don't let it get to you. Instead, think about how much you've progressed since that first rejection, and be proud of yourself for plugging forward.\\nIf we're talking about romantic rejections here, then yeah, it may not be easy to \\\"rack\\\" them up. Still, thinking about that first failed relationship, and consider how much you've grown as a person and how much you've been able to open up. Remember that not all rejections are created equal, and that you're always progressing, even if you feel like the rejection never ends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know when it's time to move on.\", \"描述\": \"One of the hardest parts of accepting rejection is having to consider whether or not the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing. Though you shouldn't let rejection get you down or keep you from fulfilling your potential, there's a time and a place for everything, and if you've had an endless string of rejection, it may be the moment to ask yourself whether the thing you're pursuing is worth pursuing, or whether you should go about it a different way. Insanity has been defined as trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you feel like you've been trying the same approach again and again and keep getting rejected, it may be time to follow a new path.\\nThere's a really fine line between being persistent and being stubborn. If you really believe that your book is polished and ready for an agent, then you may keep trying to find the right agent for your work after the first sixty rejections. But if all of the rejections are telling you that the book needs a lot of work, then your time may be better spent in revising your manuscript than in facing the same form of rejection again and again.\\nIf you've been asking out or trying to win back the same girl for months, and you feel like you're going nowhere, then it may be time to accept what happened and to move on. Use the experience to help you find a person who will like you for who you are instead of trying to force it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know that everything happens for a reason (most of the time).\", \"描述\": \"Sure, \\\"everything happens for a reason\\\" may be one of the most annoying things you can possibly hear, especially when you've just been devastated by a rejection. You may think that this is just an empty phrase that people use to comfort each other and that it has no real substance. Of course, there are times when something really crappy happens and you have to lick your wounds and move on. But if you think about past rejections or setbacks in your life, you may see that they actually led to something wonderful. Even if it may not seem that way right now, accept the fact that this rejection could lead to something positive that you can't yet imagine.\\nLet's say you got rejected from the tennis team. You may have been training all summer for it and banking everything on it, but now, you can still try out for the volleyball team. And who knows — this sport may be a better fit for you, after all.\\nYou may feel like your college experience won't be the same if you don't go to University of Michigan like you always wanted, but once you do get to college, you wouldn't be able to imagine your life without any of your new friends by your side. You'll look back on the day when you thought that UMich was your dream school and you'll laugh. This may not be imaginable now, but really, it'll happen.\\nMaybe you'll get rejected from what you thought was your dream job. Well, the rejection may lead you to take your career in a slightly new direction — and to find a new path that you never would have otherwise considered.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Going the Extra Mile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your friends about it.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to accept rejection a little more easily is to talk to a trusted friend about how you're feeling. If you're feeling low about being rejected, whether it's in a professional or a personal setting, sometimes nothing can make you feel better than talking to a trusted friend about it. Don't keep all of your angry or hurt feelings inside and stop dwelling on what might have been. Instead, call up an old friend or set up a coffee date and talk about your feelings. You'll instantly feel better and you'll be able to move on faster because you'll have someone to talk to about your problems.\\nYou may feel that the rejection was a catastrophe. However, a friend can give you a more rational, down-to-earth take on the situation.\\nHowever, don't let this turn into you ranting about what happened to the five closest people within earshot. Having a friend's unbiased and helpful opinion can help cheer you on, but complaining and rehashing the same problems over and over again can actually just make you feel worse.\\nMake sure you're talking to someone who understands how much the rejection means to you. Having a friend say, \\\"It's not the end of the world!\\\" when you feel like it is may be the last thing you want to hear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to other people about their experiences with rejection.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are that you're not the only person in the world who has ever dealt with rejection. If you're feeling completely low, talk to a friend, family member, or coworker about the rejection and see what these people have gone through and suffered. Sure, your friend may have an ideal marriage now, but you never heard about the ex-boyfriend who broke her heart. Your writer friend may be at the height of his career, but you forgot about the four novels he had to write before having his work accepted for publication.\\nTalking to other people about their own experiences with rejection will make you feel like you're less alone, and that everyone else has felt what you're feeling, in one sense or another.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See how many successful people have dealt with rejection.\", \"描述\": \"The stories of how some of the most successful people in our culture faced one rejection after another before making it big. Knowing that you're not alone in the world when you face a rejection can help you get more motivated to push forward. Though, of course, not all people who face rejection become wildly famous, it couldn't hurt to reach for the stars. Here are some things to chew on:\\nMargaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers before it found a home.\\nMarilyn Monroe was told she should quit acting when she first began. Modeling agencies told her she'd be better off as a secretary.\\nWalt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he was told his stories lacked imagination.\\nOprah Winfrey was fired from an early gig as a news reporter because she was told she didn't know how to separate her emotions from her stories.\\nMichael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a habit of getting rejected when it doesn't matter that much.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to accept rejection is to learn to get rejected early and often. If you don't get rejected very often, then that will make it sting so much more. But if you do it routinely, especially when you don't really care all that much, then you'll learn to accept it and to see it for what it is — no big deal. Depending on your situation, there are many ways you can regularly get into the habit of getting rejected — and therefore be able to accept it faster.\\nIf you're upset about getting rejected by girls when you try to ask them out, make a habit of doing it more often. No, this doesn't mean you should ask out every girl in sight, but let's say you ask out girls 10-20% more often than you used to. If you keep getting rejected, especially if you know your heart won't really be broken, then you'll be getting into the habit of getting rejected and won't see it as such a big deal the next time it happens.\\nIf you feel devastated every time you try to send your stories out to literary journals and get a big fat rejection, then you should send your stories out to even more places. Of course, this doesn't mean you should send them out before you feel that they are ready, but that you should send them out more often, so that you won't feel the burn after you get the next rejection you've been waiting on for months.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't dwell on it.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to accept rejection and move on, then you have to learn to stop dwelling on whatever bad thing happened to you. You should talk about it, write about it, make some pro and con lists about your future decisions, or do whatever you have to do to absorb and accept what happened. However, you should work on finding other enriching experiences, whether it's spending time with friends or pursuing your love for photography, to keep you going so you don't spend all your time dwelling on the rejection. Once you admit that it happened, the best thing you can do is to move forward.\\nEasier said than done, right? It's hard to stop dwelling on rejection, especially if you're feeling bitter, confused, or hurt. But the sooner you make a goal to find other fulfilling ways to spend your time, the sooner you'll be able to move forward.\\nThat said, if we're talking about a breakup, you should avoid having a set grieving period. Let yourself feel what you feel, spend some time crying, writing in your journal, and just dealing with your emotions, and only move on when you're ready.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't put all your eggs in one basket.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to be more accepting of rejection is to try to avoid banking absolutely everything in your life on one result. This can mean getting into the prestigious Iowa Writer's Workshop if you're a writer, getting married to your long-term significant other, or becoming the principal of the school where you work within five years. Though having goals, both personal and professional, is what keeps us motivated to move forward, you should avoid letting one thing matter to you so, so much that not getting it will truly crush you.\\nThis isn't to say that you won't be deeply hurt if the person you've banked your future on rejects you. But it is to say that, while you can still be deeply in love, you should always feel like you have other things going on in your life other than your relationship. You can't let it be everything for you.\\nOkay, so you may really be dying to go to the Iowa Writer's Workshop. You may think it's your only path to being a published writer. But make sure you apply to at least a handful of other programs. You'll find that you'll be accepted somewhere, and that you'll still have an enriching experience where you get to explore your passion. If you think it's Iowa or bust, then you're going to be incredibly disappointed when it doesn't work out.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Consult a person you trust. This helps let everything out.\\n\", \"Imagine the person who rejected you and you guys talked it out into a way you like.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't let bitterness dwell inside of you. It will only lead to no good.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
116 | How to Accept Rejection When You Tell a Friend You Love Them | 1. Dealing with Your Feelings
1-1. Pause before reacting negatively.
If you want to preserve your friendship with this person, resist acting out on your emotions. Rejection can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and just plain hurt. Don’t react on impulse and take these feelings out on the other person.
Before saying anything more to the person, immediately take a few breaths to collect yourself. Don’t rush into making any decisions. Give yourself time to calm down first.
1-2. Get some space from the person.
Being around the person may be especially difficult after saying the “L” word. Ask for some space to deal with your feelings. You guys can discuss how you want to move forward later. But, right now, it’s not going to do you any good to have to pretend and keep spending time with them.
Say something like, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction. I want to hang out again, but can you give me a few days?”
1-3. Nurse your wounds with self-care.
It’s second-nature after a rejection to feel defeated. Counteract this by pouring on the love. Treat yourself gently, like you would a friend who’s got the flu. Treat yourself to a special lunch or dinner. Binge-watch your favorite TV show. Work off some steam in the gym. Do things that help you feel better.
You may be tempted to reach for numbing substances like alcohol and drugs. These won’t make you feel any better. Instead, take good care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
1-4. Journal about your feelings.
Journal to unload your feelings about the rejection. You might describe what happened, how the person responded, and how it made you feel. Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your emotions and learn to cope with them.
1-5. Confide in someone you trust.
Share your feelings with a close friend. Make sure you choose someone you can trust, who won’t spread the information around town. They might even be able to offer you helpful advice, or comfort you after the rejection.
You might say, “Wendy, I’m humiliated. I told Greg I loved him. He told me he doesn’t look at me that way. I don’t know what to do.”
1-6. Reframe how you look at rejection.
Another way to cope with rejection is to change how you look at it. You may be viewing the situation as if there’s something wrong with you. Change this thought process by coming up with some realistic alternatives.
For example, the person may have said “no” because they want to keep you as a friend—they don’t want to risk losing you if a relationship doesn’t work out.
Another way to look at it is the person rejected you because there’s someone else out there who’s a better match for you. You just have to wait to meet them.
Remind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to step up and declare your feelings. Admire that trait about yourself!
2. Boosting Your Self-Worth
2-1. List your best qualities.
Rejection can tank your confidence, so try to find ways to remember how great you are. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you are incredible. Don’t feel shy! No one has to see the list but you.
Your list might include traits like, “good listener,” “artistic,” and “compassionate.“
If you have trouble coming up with traits, ask your best friend or your parents. These people will probably recognize all of your great qualities.
2-2. Get out of your comfort zone.
Counteract a bruised ego by doing something out of the box. When you try something new, you become aware of hidden talents and abilities. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, just something a little different from your typical activities or hobbies.
For example, you might sign up for a Flamenco dancing class, or plan a short trip to a nearby city on your own.
2-3. Think positively.
The aftermath of rejection may bring lots of negative thoughts. Crowd out the negative by increasing the positive thoughts you have. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. If you can’t think of any, you can find some by doing a quick search online.
Examples of positive affirmations may be “I am good at many things,” “Lots of people love to be around me,” or "I am a lovable person!"
Repeat these affirmations each morning after you wake and periodically throughout the day when you feel down on yourself.
2-4. Spend time with people who value you.
The best fix for a bruised ego is feeling loved. Make an extra effort to be around all the people in your life who cherish you. Spend more time with your close family by languishing over meals or having a game night. Plan to hang out with your dearest friends, too.
2-5. Consider casually dating someone else.
You shouldn’t count on others to make you feel good about yourself. Still, it can help to bounce back after a rejection by putting yourself on the market and trying again with someone else. This isn’t the time to get seriously involved with anyone while you’re still nursing your wounds after the rejection. But, it can take your mind off things and be fun to date someone casually.
Go up and talk to the girl who tries to catch your eye at the coffee shop. Or, finally, say “yes” to a movie with the guy who’s been asking for weeks.
Let the person know up front that you’re getting over someone else and not looking for anything serious. Just have fun and see where it goes.
3. Saving the Friendship
3-1. Have a candid discussion about where the friendship stands.
Once you feel able to face your friend, arrange to meet up and talk. The two of you need to decide how to move forward with your friendship. If you just ignore it, your friendship may suffer. So, call out the elephant in the room and have the tough conversation.
You might say, “So, I still want to be your friend, but I can see I made you uncomfortable. How are we going to move on from this?”
Actively listen to what the other person has to say. Find out exactly how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Brainstorm solutions to reduce any awkwardness or resentments.
3-2. Respect their boundaries.
If the two of you are able to resume the friendship and fall back into old patterns, your old feelings may re-emerge. If this happens, don’t try to change their mind, or convince them that they should date you. Your friend made it clear that they weren’t interested in you that way, so respect their choice.
You may have to decide if you are able to continue being friends with the person. You may have to go separate ways if you are unable to control your feelings and if they don't go away over time.
3-3. Realize that the friendship may never be the same.
Your friend may feel uncomfortable hanging out with you after you revealed your deeper feelings. In a similar vein, you may still feel humiliated about the rejection. No matter how hard you two work to salvage the friendship, you may find yourselves spending less time together.
Accept that once love enters the picture, things change. Be okay with not spending as much time with the person, if that’s what either of you wants.
Your friendship might not improve until both of you are in fulfilling relationships, so be prepared for it to take a lot of time for things to get better between you.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dealing with Your Feelings\\n1-1. Pause before reacting negatively.\\nIf you want to preserve your friendship with this person, resist acting out on your emotions. Rejection can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and just plain hurt. Don’t react on impulse and take these feelings out on the other person.\\nBefore saying anything more to the person, immediately take a few breaths to collect yourself. Don’t rush into making any decisions. Give yourself time to calm down first.\\n1-2. Get some space from the person.\\nBeing around the person may be especially difficult after saying the “L” word. Ask for some space to deal with your feelings. You guys can discuss how you want to move forward later. But, right now, it’s not going to do you any good to have to pretend and keep spending time with them.\\nSay something like, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction. I want to hang out again, but can you give me a few days?”\\n1-3. Nurse your wounds with self-care.\\nIt’s second-nature after a rejection to feel defeated. Counteract this by pouring on the love. Treat yourself gently, like you would a friend who’s got the flu. Treat yourself to a special lunch or dinner. Binge-watch your favorite TV show. Work off some steam in the gym. Do things that help you feel better.\\nYou may be tempted to reach for numbing substances like alcohol and drugs. These won’t make you feel any better. Instead, take good care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep.\\n1-4. Journal about your feelings.\\nJournal to unload your feelings about the rejection. You might describe what happened, how the person responded, and how it made you feel. Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your emotions and learn to cope with them.\\n1-5. Confide in someone you trust.\\nShare your feelings with a close friend. Make sure you choose someone you can trust, who won’t spread the information around town. They might even be able to offer you helpful advice, or comfort you after the rejection.\\nYou might say, “Wendy, I’m humiliated. I told Greg I loved him. He told me he doesn’t look at me that way. I don’t know what to do.”\\n1-6. Reframe how you look at rejection.\\nAnother way to cope with rejection is to change how you look at it. You may be viewing the situation as if there’s something wrong with you. Change this thought process by coming up with some realistic alternatives.\\nFor example, the person may have said “no” because they want to keep you as a friend—they don’t want to risk losing you if a relationship doesn’t work out.\\nAnother way to look at it is the person rejected you because there’s someone else out there who’s a better match for you. You just have to wait to meet them.\\nRemind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to step up and declare your feelings. Admire that trait about yourself!\\n2. Boosting Your Self-Worth\\n2-1. List your best qualities.\\nRejection can tank your confidence, so try to find ways to remember how great you are. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you are incredible. Don’t feel shy! No one has to see the list but you.\\nYour list might include traits like, “good listener,” “artistic,” and “compassionate.“\\nIf you have trouble coming up with traits, ask your best friend or your parents. These people will probably recognize all of your great qualities.\\n2-2. Get out of your comfort zone.\\nCounteract a bruised ego by doing something out of the box. When you try something new, you become aware of hidden talents and abilities. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, just something a little different from your typical activities or hobbies.\\nFor example, you might sign up for a Flamenco dancing class, or plan a short trip to a nearby city on your own.\\n2-3. Think positively.\\nThe aftermath of rejection may bring lots of negative thoughts. Crowd out the negative by increasing the positive thoughts you have. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. If you can’t think of any, you can find some by doing a quick search online.\\nExamples of positive affirmations may be “I am good at many things,” “Lots of people love to be around me,” or \\\"I am a lovable person!\\\"\\nRepeat these affirmations each morning after you wake and periodically throughout the day when you feel down on yourself.\\n2-4. Spend time with people who value you.\\nThe best fix for a bruised ego is feeling loved. Make an extra effort to be around all the people in your life who cherish you. Spend more time with your close family by languishing over meals or having a game night. Plan to hang out with your dearest friends, too.\\n2-5. Consider casually dating someone else.\\nYou shouldn’t count on others to make you feel good about yourself. Still, it can help to bounce back after a rejection by putting yourself on the market and trying again with someone else. This isn’t the time to get seriously involved with anyone while you’re still nursing your wounds after the rejection. But, it can take your mind off things and be fun to date someone casually.\\nGo up and talk to the girl who tries to catch your eye at the coffee shop. Or, finally, say “yes” to a movie with the guy who’s been asking for weeks.\\nLet the person know up front that you’re getting over someone else and not looking for anything serious. Just have fun and see where it goes.\\n3. Saving the Friendship\\n3-1. Have a candid discussion about where the friendship stands.\\nOnce you feel able to face your friend, arrange to meet up and talk. The two of you need to decide how to move forward with your friendship. If you just ignore it, your friendship may suffer. So, call out the elephant in the room and have the tough conversation.\\nYou might say, “So, I still want to be your friend, but I can see I made you uncomfortable. How are we going to move on from this?”\\nActively listen to what the other person has to say. Find out exactly how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Brainstorm solutions to reduce any awkwardness or resentments.\\n3-2. Respect their boundaries.\\nIf the two of you are able to resume the friendship and fall back into old patterns, your old feelings may re-emerge. If this happens, don’t try to change their mind, or convince them that they should date you. Your friend made it clear that they weren’t interested in you that way, so respect their choice.\\nYou may have to decide if you are able to continue being friends with the person. You may have to go separate ways if you are unable to control your feelings and if they don't go away over time.\\n3-3. Realize that the friendship may never be the same.\\nYour friend may feel uncomfortable hanging out with you after you revealed your deeper feelings. In a similar vein, you may still feel humiliated about the rejection. No matter how hard you two work to salvage the friendship, you may find yourselves spending less time together.\\nAccept that once love enters the picture, things change. Be okay with not spending as much time with the person, if that’s what either of you wants.\\nYour friendship might not improve until both of you are in fulfilling relationships, so be prepared for it to take a lot of time for things to get better between you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You finally worked up the nerve to tell your friend that you wanted more, but they don’t feel the same way. Dealing with rejection from a complete stranger is hard enough as it is—being rejected by a friend can feel absolutely devastating. Thankfully, you can learn to accept this rejection and move forward with your life. Your ego may have been bruised, so start by dealing with your feelings and improving your self-worth. Then, try to mend your relationship with the person who rejected you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Your Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pause before reacting negatively.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to preserve your friendship with this person, resist acting out on your emotions. Rejection can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and just plain hurt. Don’t react on impulse and take these feelings out on the other person.\\nBefore saying anything more to the person, immediately take a few breaths to collect yourself. Don’t rush into making any decisions. Give yourself time to calm down first.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get some space from the person.\", \"描述\": \"Being around the person may be especially difficult after saying the “L” word. Ask for some space to deal with your feelings. You guys can discuss how you want to move forward later. But, right now, it’s not going to do you any good to have to pretend and keep spending time with them.\\nSay something like, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction. I want to hang out again, but can you give me a few days?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Nurse your wounds with self-care.\", \"描述\": \"It’s second-nature after a rejection to feel defeated. Counteract this by pouring on the love. Treat yourself gently, like you would a friend who’s got the flu. Treat yourself to a special lunch or dinner. Binge-watch your favorite TV show. Work off some steam in the gym. Do things that help you feel better.\\nYou may be tempted to reach for numbing substances like alcohol and drugs. These won’t make you feel any better. Instead, take good care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Journal about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Journal to unload your feelings about the rejection. You might describe what happened, how the person responded, and how it made you feel. Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your emotions and learn to cope with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Confide in someone you trust.\", \"描述\": \"Share your feelings with a close friend. Make sure you choose someone you can trust, who won’t spread the information around town. They might even be able to offer you helpful advice, or comfort you after the rejection.\\nYou might say, “Wendy, I’m humiliated. I told Greg I loved him. He told me he doesn’t look at me that way. I don’t know what to do.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Reframe how you look at rejection.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to cope with rejection is to change how you look at it. You may be viewing the situation as if there’s something wrong with you. Change this thought process by coming up with some realistic alternatives.\\nFor example, the person may have said “no” because they want to keep you as a friend—they don’t want to risk losing you if a relationship doesn’t work out.\\nAnother way to look at it is the person rejected you because there’s someone else out there who’s a better match for you. You just have to wait to meet them.\\nRemind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to step up and declare your feelings. Admire that trait about yourself!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Boosting Your Self-Worth\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"List your best qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Rejection can tank your confidence, so try to find ways to remember how great you are. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you are incredible. Don’t feel shy! No one has to see the list but you.\\nYour list might include traits like, “good listener,” “artistic,” and “compassionate.“\\nIf you have trouble coming up with traits, ask your best friend or your parents. These people will probably recognize all of your great qualities.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get out of your comfort zone.\", \"描述\": \"Counteract a bruised ego by doing something out of the box. When you try something new, you become aware of hidden talents and abilities. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, just something a little different from your typical activities or hobbies.\\nFor example, you might sign up for a Flamenco dancing class, or plan a short trip to a nearby city on your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think positively.\", \"描述\": \"The aftermath of rejection may bring lots of negative thoughts. Crowd out the negative by increasing the positive thoughts you have. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. If you can’t think of any, you can find some by doing a quick search online.\\nExamples of positive affirmations may be “I am good at many things,” “Lots of people love to be around me,” or \\\"I am a lovable person!\\\"\\nRepeat these affirmations each morning after you wake and periodically throughout the day when you feel down on yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who value you.\", \"描述\": \"The best fix for a bruised ego is feeling loved. Make an extra effort to be around all the people in your life who cherish you. Spend more time with your close family by languishing over meals or having a game night. Plan to hang out with your dearest friends, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider casually dating someone else.\", \"描述\": \"You shouldn’t count on others to make you feel good about yourself. Still, it can help to bounce back after a rejection by putting yourself on the market and trying again with someone else. This isn’t the time to get seriously involved with anyone while you’re still nursing your wounds after the rejection. But, it can take your mind off things and be fun to date someone casually.\\nGo up and talk to the girl who tries to catch your eye at the coffee shop. Or, finally, say “yes” to a movie with the guy who’s been asking for weeks.\\nLet the person know up front that you’re getting over someone else and not looking for anything serious. Just have fun and see where it goes.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Saving the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a candid discussion about where the friendship stands.\", \"描述\": \"Once you feel able to face your friend, arrange to meet up and talk. The two of you need to decide how to move forward with your friendship. If you just ignore it, your friendship may suffer. So, call out the elephant in the room and have the tough conversation.\\nYou might say, “So, I still want to be your friend, but I can see I made you uncomfortable. How are we going to move on from this?”\\nActively listen to what the other person has to say. Find out exactly how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Brainstorm solutions to reduce any awkwardness or resentments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect their boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"If the two of you are able to resume the friendship and fall back into old patterns, your old feelings may re-emerge. If this happens, don’t try to change their mind, or convince them that they should date you. Your friend made it clear that they weren’t interested in you that way, so respect their choice.\\nYou may have to decide if you are able to continue being friends with the person. You may have to go separate ways if you are unable to control your feelings and if they don't go away over time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Realize that the friendship may never be the same.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend may feel uncomfortable hanging out with you after you revealed your deeper feelings. In a similar vein, you may still feel humiliated about the rejection. No matter how hard you two work to salvage the friendship, you may find yourselves spending less time together.\\nAccept that once love enters the picture, things change. Be okay with not spending as much time with the person, if that’s what either of you wants.\\nYour friendship might not improve until both of you are in fulfilling relationships, so be prepared for it to take a lot of time for things to get better between you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
117 | How to Accept Section 8 Vouchers | 1. Registering with Your Local PHA
1-1. Locate the PHA office nearest your rental property.
Although the HCV program is a federal program, it's administered by local PHAs and is subject to state laws and local regulations. Typically, you'll use the PHA that serves the area where your property is located.
For example, if you live in Dallas, TX, but own a rental property in Austin, and want to accept HCVs for that property, you would need to go to the PHA in Austin.
To find the PHA nearest your rental property, go to https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/pha/contacts and click on your state on the map.
1-2. Fill out an application to register your property if necessary.
Some PHA offices require you to complete an application before you can start accepting HCVs. The application typically requires you to provide details about yourself as a landlord and a description of the rental property you own. Because the process varies drastically among different PCA's, ask a benefits counselor to walk through the process with you.
Typically, you'll need to provide information about your rental property similar to what you would put in a rental listing, such as the address, square footage, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, and number of units (if you own more than one).
You'll also have to provide documents, including the deed to the property, a copy of your photo ID, and the results of a criminal background check. While there is no fee to register, you may have to pay a fee for the criminal background check.
In some areas, landlords aren't required to register if they want to participate in the HCV program. A benefits counselor at your PHA will let you know if registration is required.
1-3. Attend a landlord orientation class if required.
Some PHAs have a landlord orientation class that you're required to attend before you can start accepting HCVs. This orientation class introduces you to the HCV program and the way the local PHA operates.
Your orientation class may be something you have to attend in person at the PHA office, or it may be online.
During the orientation class, ask any questions you might have about accepting HCVs to rent your property. You might want to write down some questions in advance, so you can ask any that aren't answered by the presentation.
1-4. Create a landlord portal account to manage your HCV properties.
Most PHAs have an online portal that you can use to keep up with your Section 8 applications, inspections, and payments. The portal also gives you access to forums where you can discuss issues with other Section 8 landlords and get answers to your questions from PHA staff.
Typically, you can also sign up for direct deposit through the portal. The PHA will direct-deposit the amount of your tenant's voucher each month. You will be responsible for collecting the rest of the rent from the tenant.
1-5. Establish a fair market rent (FMR) for the unit.
Each local PHA determines a payment standard for your area that is between 90% and 110% of the FMR. The FMRs are calculated and published by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) every year.
To find the FMR for the area where your rental unit is located, go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr.html.
If your rental unit is located in a metropolitan area, a distinct small area FMR (SAFMR) may apply. SAFMR's calculate distinct FMRs for ZIP codes within metropolitan areas, where rental rates may vary dramatically. Go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr/smallarea/index.html to look up the SAFMR.
If you disagree with the rent assigned to your rental unit by the PHA, you can fill out an application for a rent increase.
2. Finding a Section 8 Tenant
2-1. List a current or upcoming vacancy through the PHA.
Each PHA has a housing board for prospective tenants with vouchers. These boards list available rental units in the area, and you can use them for free. Your PHA may also have connections to other housing boards where you can list your unit.
List your unit on the housing board at or below the FMR that applies to the area where your rental property is located.
2-2. Provide standard applications to prospective tenants with vouchers.
Even if a prospective tenant has a voucher, they still have to go through your application process the same as any other tenant would. This allows you to keep the same information about prospective tenants in your records.
If you charge an application fee, you may choose to waive that fee for prospective tenants with vouchers. However, there's no legal requirement that you do so.
2-3. Screen prospective tenants just as you would any other applicant.
The HCV program ensures that tenants with vouchers will always meet your income requirements. However, while the PHA screens applicants, their screening processes may not be as stringent as your requirements for renting.
Even if your property is subject to a law that prohibits discrimination against prospective tenants with HCVs, you still have the right to decline a tenant application for another reason, such as a failure to meet your criminal background standards.
2-4. Submit a request for tenancy approval.
If you've approved a tenant with a voucher, you still need approval from the PHA before you and the tenant can sign a lease. On your request, you'll provide the name of the tenant as well as information about the rental unit.
You can typically fill out and submit a request form through your PHA's landlord portal. You can also download the form at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Request_Tenancy_approval52517.pdf.
A PHA inspector will inspect your rental unit to make sure it meets the HCV program's quality standards before approving the tenancy.
3. Completing the Property Inspection
3-1. Look over the property inspection checklist.
The property inspection checklist gives you an idea of what the inspector will be looking at. Go through the rental unit with the checklist and repair or replace any items you see on the checklist that need it before you schedule your inspection. That way, you have a greater chance of passing the inspection.
You can download a copy of the property inspection checklist from https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/programs/hcv/landlord/forms. Your PHA may also have one available through the landlord portal.
3-2. Schedule a property inspection to certify your property.
Typically, you can schedule your property inspection online through the landlord portal. You can always call or drop by your local PHA office and schedule an inspection that way.
You need to be present at the inspection. Take notes as the inspector goes through the unit and ask questions if there's anything you don't understand.
3-3. Make any necessary repairs to bring the property up to standards.
If the inspector noticed any problems with your unit, the PHA won't approve the tenancy until you resolve those problems. The inspector will let you know exactly what you need to do to meet the quality standard.
Some situations may require you to replace something completely rather than simply repair it. If the work you need to be done to pass the inspection is going to take an extended period of time, it's a good idea to communicate that to the prospective tenant. They may decide to apply somewhere else rather than wait.
3-4. Fill out the Housing Assistance Payments (HAP) contract.
The HAP contract is a contract between you and the PHA that provides information about the tenant and the rental unit, as well as details of the lease the tenant is signing. When you're finished filling it out, submit it to the PHA for their signature. The tenant does not have to sign this document.
Your PHA will likely have copies of the HAP contract available online through the landlord portal. You can also download a copy at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Housing_assistance_payments_contract.pdf. You can fill this document out on your computer.
Read the document carefully. It describes your rights and duties as a landlord through the HCV program. Contact your local PHA if you have any questions.
After someone signs the contract for the PHA, make sure you get a copy of the HAP for your records.
Warnings
Generally, federal law does not require you to accept Section 8. However, there are some states, counties, and cities with "source of income" laws that prohibit discrimination against tenant applicants based on whether they receive Section 8 or other government subsidies. Check your state and local law or contact a local landlord/tenant lawyer if you're not confident.[17]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Registering with Your Local PHA\\n1-1. Locate the PHA office nearest your rental property.\\nAlthough the HCV program is a federal program, it's administered by local PHAs and is subject to state laws and local regulations. Typically, you'll use the PHA that serves the area where your property is located.\\nFor example, if you live in Dallas, TX, but own a rental property in Austin, and want to accept HCVs for that property, you would need to go to the PHA in Austin.\\nTo find the PHA nearest your rental property, go to https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/pha/contacts and click on your state on the map.\\n1-2. Fill out an application to register your property if necessary.\\nSome PHA offices require you to complete an application before you can start accepting HCVs. The application typically requires you to provide details about yourself as a landlord and a description of the rental property you own. Because the process varies drastically among different PCA's, ask a benefits counselor to walk through the process with you.\\nTypically, you'll need to provide information about your rental property similar to what you would put in a rental listing, such as the address, square footage, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, and number of units (if you own more than one).\\nYou'll also have to provide documents, including the deed to the property, a copy of your photo ID, and the results of a criminal background check. While there is no fee to register, you may have to pay a fee for the criminal background check.\\nIn some areas, landlords aren't required to register if they want to participate in the HCV program. A benefits counselor at your PHA will let you know if registration is required.\\n1-3. Attend a landlord orientation class if required.\\nSome PHAs have a landlord orientation class that you're required to attend before you can start accepting HCVs. This orientation class introduces you to the HCV program and the way the local PHA operates.\\nYour orientation class may be something you have to attend in person at the PHA office, or it may be online.\\nDuring the orientation class, ask any questions you might have about accepting HCVs to rent your property. You might want to write down some questions in advance, so you can ask any that aren't answered by the presentation.\\n1-4. Create a landlord portal account to manage your HCV properties.\\nMost PHAs have an online portal that you can use to keep up with your Section 8 applications, inspections, and payments. The portal also gives you access to forums where you can discuss issues with other Section 8 landlords and get answers to your questions from PHA staff.\\nTypically, you can also sign up for direct deposit through the portal. The PHA will direct-deposit the amount of your tenant's voucher each month. You will be responsible for collecting the rest of the rent from the tenant.\\n1-5. Establish a fair market rent (FMR) for the unit.\\nEach local PHA determines a payment standard for your area that is between 90% and 110% of the FMR. The FMRs are calculated and published by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) every year.\\nTo find the FMR for the area where your rental unit is located, go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr.html.\\nIf your rental unit is located in a metropolitan area, a distinct small area FMR (SAFMR) may apply. SAFMR's calculate distinct FMRs for ZIP codes within metropolitan areas, where rental rates may vary dramatically. Go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr/smallarea/index.html to look up the SAFMR.\\nIf you disagree with the rent assigned to your rental unit by the PHA, you can fill out an application for a rent increase.\\n2. Finding a Section 8 Tenant\\n2-1. List a current or upcoming vacancy through the PHA.\\nEach PHA has a housing board for prospective tenants with vouchers. These boards list available rental units in the area, and you can use them for free. Your PHA may also have connections to other housing boards where you can list your unit.\\nList your unit on the housing board at or below the FMR that applies to the area where your rental property is located.\\n2-2. Provide standard applications to prospective tenants with vouchers.\\nEven if a prospective tenant has a voucher, they still have to go through your application process the same as any other tenant would. This allows you to keep the same information about prospective tenants in your records.\\nIf you charge an application fee, you may choose to waive that fee for prospective tenants with vouchers. However, there's no legal requirement that you do so.\\n2-3. Screen prospective tenants just as you would any other applicant.\\nThe HCV program ensures that tenants with vouchers will always meet your income requirements. However, while the PHA screens applicants, their screening processes may not be as stringent as your requirements for renting.\\nEven if your property is subject to a law that prohibits discrimination against prospective tenants with HCVs, you still have the right to decline a tenant application for another reason, such as a failure to meet your criminal background standards.\\n2-4. Submit a request for tenancy approval.\\nIf you've approved a tenant with a voucher, you still need approval from the PHA before you and the tenant can sign a lease. On your request, you'll provide the name of the tenant as well as information about the rental unit.\\nYou can typically fill out and submit a request form through your PHA's landlord portal. You can also download the form at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Request_Tenancy_approval52517.pdf.\\nA PHA inspector will inspect your rental unit to make sure it meets the HCV program's quality standards before approving the tenancy.\\n3. Completing the Property Inspection\\n3-1. Look over the property inspection checklist.\\nThe property inspection checklist gives you an idea of what the inspector will be looking at. Go through the rental unit with the checklist and repair or replace any items you see on the checklist that need it before you schedule your inspection. That way, you have a greater chance of passing the inspection.\\nYou can download a copy of the property inspection checklist from https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/programs/hcv/landlord/forms. Your PHA may also have one available through the landlord portal.\\n3-2. Schedule a property inspection to certify your property.\\nTypically, you can schedule your property inspection online through the landlord portal. You can always call or drop by your local PHA office and schedule an inspection that way.\\nYou need to be present at the inspection. Take notes as the inspector goes through the unit and ask questions if there's anything you don't understand.\\n3-3. Make any necessary repairs to bring the property up to standards.\\nIf the inspector noticed any problems with your unit, the PHA won't approve the tenancy until you resolve those problems. The inspector will let you know exactly what you need to do to meet the quality standard.\\nSome situations may require you to replace something completely rather than simply repair it. If the work you need to be done to pass the inspection is going to take an extended period of time, it's a good idea to communicate that to the prospective tenant. They may decide to apply somewhere else rather than wait.\\n3-4. Fill out the Housing Assistance Payments (HAP) contract.\\nThe HAP contract is a contract between you and the PHA that provides information about the tenant and the rental unit, as well as details of the lease the tenant is signing. When you're finished filling it out, submit it to the PHA for their signature. The tenant does not have to sign this document.\\nYour PHA will likely have copies of the HAP contract available online through the landlord portal. You can also download a copy at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Housing_assistance_payments_contract.pdf. You can fill this document out on your computer.\\nRead the document carefully. It describes your rights and duties as a landlord through the HCV program. Contact your local PHA if you have any questions.\\nAfter someone signs the contract for the PHA, make sure you get a copy of the HAP for your records.\\nWarnings\\nGenerally, federal law does not require you to accept Section 8. However, there are some states, counties, and cities with \\\"source of income\\\" laws that prohibit discrimination against tenant applicants based on whether they receive Section 8 or other government subsidies. Check your state and local law or contact a local landlord/tenant lawyer if you're not confident.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're a landlord, there are many benefits to accepting Housing Choice Vouchers (HCVs) — commonly known as Section 8 vouchers, after the section of the US code that established them. Along with guaranteed rent payments each month, you can also take advantage of free advertising for your available rental units and enjoy pre-screened tenants. With an HCV, the tenant finds a unit available on the private housing market, and the government pays a portion of the tenant's rent each month. If you want to accept Section 8 vouchers, all you have to do is complete an application with your local Public Housing Agency (PHA) and complete an inspection of the rental unit.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Registering with Your Local PHA\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Locate the PHA office nearest your rental property.\", \"描述\": \"Although the HCV program is a federal program, it's administered by local PHAs and is subject to state laws and local regulations. Typically, you'll use the PHA that serves the area where your property is located.\\nFor example, if you live in Dallas, TX, but own a rental property in Austin, and want to accept HCVs for that property, you would need to go to the PHA in Austin.\\nTo find the PHA nearest your rental property, go to https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/pha/contacts and click on your state on the map.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Fill out an application to register your property if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"Some PHA offices require you to complete an application before you can start accepting HCVs. The application typically requires you to provide details about yourself as a landlord and a description of the rental property you own. Because the process varies drastically among different PCA's, ask a benefits counselor to walk through the process with you.\\nTypically, you'll need to provide information about your rental property similar to what you would put in a rental listing, such as the address, square footage, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, and number of units (if you own more than one).\\nYou'll also have to provide documents, including the deed to the property, a copy of your photo ID, and the results of a criminal background check. While there is no fee to register, you may have to pay a fee for the criminal background check.\\nIn some areas, landlords aren't required to register if they want to participate in the HCV program. A benefits counselor at your PHA will let you know if registration is required.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend a landlord orientation class if required.\", \"描述\": \"Some PHAs have a landlord orientation class that you're required to attend before you can start accepting HCVs. This orientation class introduces you to the HCV program and the way the local PHA operates.\\nYour orientation class may be something you have to attend in person at the PHA office, or it may be online.\\nDuring the orientation class, ask any questions you might have about accepting HCVs to rent your property. You might want to write down some questions in advance, so you can ask any that aren't answered by the presentation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Create a landlord portal account to manage your HCV properties.\", \"描述\": \"Most PHAs have an online portal that you can use to keep up with your Section 8 applications, inspections, and payments. The portal also gives you access to forums where you can discuss issues with other Section 8 landlords and get answers to your questions from PHA staff.\\nTypically, you can also sign up for direct deposit through the portal. The PHA will direct-deposit the amount of your tenant's voucher each month. You will be responsible for collecting the rest of the rent from the tenant.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Establish a fair market rent (FMR) for the unit.\", \"描述\": \"Each local PHA determines a payment standard for your area that is between 90% and 110% of the FMR. The FMRs are calculated and published by the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) every year.\\nTo find the FMR for the area where your rental unit is located, go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr.html.\\nIf your rental unit is located in a metropolitan area, a distinct small area FMR (SAFMR) may apply. SAFMR's calculate distinct FMRs for ZIP codes within metropolitan areas, where rental rates may vary dramatically. Go to https://www.huduser.gov/portal/datasets/fmr/smallarea/index.html to look up the SAFMR.\\nIf you disagree with the rent assigned to your rental unit by the PHA, you can fill out an application for a rent increase.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding a Section 8 Tenant\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"List a current or upcoming vacancy through the PHA.\", \"描述\": \"Each PHA has a housing board for prospective tenants with vouchers. These boards list available rental units in the area, and you can use them for free. Your PHA may also have connections to other housing boards where you can list your unit.\\nList your unit on the housing board at or below the FMR that applies to the area where your rental property is located.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide standard applications to prospective tenants with vouchers.\", \"描述\": \"Even if a prospective tenant has a voucher, they still have to go through your application process the same as any other tenant would. This allows you to keep the same information about prospective tenants in your records.\\nIf you charge an application fee, you may choose to waive that fee for prospective tenants with vouchers. However, there's no legal requirement that you do so.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Screen prospective tenants just as you would any other applicant.\", \"描述\": \"The HCV program ensures that tenants with vouchers will always meet your income requirements. However, while the PHA screens applicants, their screening processes may not be as stringent as your requirements for renting.\\nEven if your property is subject to a law that prohibits discrimination against prospective tenants with HCVs, you still have the right to decline a tenant application for another reason, such as a failure to meet your criminal background standards.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Submit a request for tenancy approval.\", \"描述\": \"If you've approved a tenant with a voucher, you still need approval from the PHA before you and the tenant can sign a lease. On your request, you'll provide the name of the tenant as well as information about the rental unit.\\nYou can typically fill out and submit a request form through your PHA's landlord portal. You can also download the form at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Request_Tenancy_approval52517.pdf.\\nA PHA inspector will inspect your rental unit to make sure it meets the HCV program's quality standards before approving the tenancy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Completing the Property Inspection\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look over the property inspection checklist.\", \"描述\": \"The property inspection checklist gives you an idea of what the inspector will be looking at. Go through the rental unit with the checklist and repair or replace any items you see on the checklist that need it before you schedule your inspection. That way, you have a greater chance of passing the inspection.\\nYou can download a copy of the property inspection checklist from https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/public_indian_housing/programs/hcv/landlord/forms. Your PHA may also have one available through the landlord portal.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Schedule a property inspection to certify your property.\", \"描述\": \"Typically, you can schedule your property inspection online through the landlord portal. You can always call or drop by your local PHA office and schedule an inspection that way.\\nYou need to be present at the inspection. Take notes as the inspector goes through the unit and ask questions if there's anything you don't understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make any necessary repairs to bring the property up to standards.\", \"描述\": \"If the inspector noticed any problems with your unit, the PHA won't approve the tenancy until you resolve those problems. The inspector will let you know exactly what you need to do to meet the quality standard.\\nSome situations may require you to replace something completely rather than simply repair it. If the work you need to be done to pass the inspection is going to take an extended period of time, it's a good idea to communicate that to the prospective tenant. They may decide to apply somewhere else rather than wait.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill out the Housing Assistance Payments (HAP) contract.\", \"描述\": \"The HAP contract is a contract between you and the PHA that provides information about the tenant and the rental unit, as well as details of the lease the tenant is signing. When you're finished filling it out, submit it to the PHA for their signature. The tenant does not have to sign this document.\\nYour PHA will likely have copies of the HAP contract available online through the landlord portal. You can also download a copy at https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/PIH/documents/Housing_assistance_payments_contract.pdf. You can fill this document out on your computer.\\nRead the document carefully. It describes your rights and duties as a landlord through the HCV program. Contact your local PHA if you have any questions.\\nAfter someone signs the contract for the PHA, make sure you get a copy of the HAP for your records.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Generally, federal law does not require you to accept Section 8. However, there are some states, counties, and cities with \\\"source of income\\\" laws that prohibit discrimination against tenant applicants based on whether they receive Section 8 or other government subsidies. Check your state and local law or contact a local landlord/tenant lawyer if you're not confident.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
118 | How to Accept Shared Album Invites on iPhone | 1. Accepting an Invite
1-1. Open Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.
Do this if the notification is missing from your Notification Center. If you see the shared album invitation in your Notification Center, you can simply tap it to accept the invite.
1-2. Tap For You.
It's the tab that looks like a card at the bottom of your screen.
1-3. Tap Accept.
If you've been invited to a shared album, you will see that invitation here.
2. Accessing Shared Albums
2-1. Open Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.
This method is useful once you've been invited to a shared album. Accept the invite, then you'll be able to see the album.
2-2. Tap Albums.
It's at the bottom of your screen.
2-3. Tap the shared album.
Scroll down and you'll see the "Shared Albums" header. You can see all the albums you've been invited to.
3. Turning on Shared Albums
3-1. Open Settings.
Tap the app icon that looks like a pair of gears on a grey background.
This method works on iPad and iPod touch as well as iPhone.
If you're on a Mac, open the Photos app, then open .
3-2. Tap your name.
It's the first thing you see when you open the Settings app.
If your iPhone is older than iOS 11, then you can skip this step.
3-3. Tap iCloud.
This is next to a blue cloud icon.
3-4. Tap Photos.
It's the icon that looks like a multicolored pinwheel.
3-5. Tap the switch next to "Shared Albums" to turn it on .
If you have an older iPhone, this will say "iCloud Photo Sharing" instead.
4. Sharing an Album
4-1. Open Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.
Use this method if you already have an album with pictures that you want to share. If you don't have one already, you'll need to create a new one.
4-2. Navigate to the album you want to share.
Tap at the bottom of your screen to see all of your albums.
4-3. Tap Select.
This is in the top right corner of your screen.
4-4. Tap Select All.
Tapping this will select all the pictures in your album. If you want to deselect one or more, tap them so they don't display a blue checkmark in the top right corner of their thumbnail.
4-5. Tap .
The Share icon looks like an arrow pointing up out of a box and will bring up a menu.
4-6. Tap Add to Shared Album.
It's usually the second option in the menu.
You can also follow these steps to add other pictures to your shared album.
4-7. Give your album a title and tap Next.
This is the album title that everyone else will see, so make sure it has a name that reflects what's in the shared album.
4-8. Enter the names of those that you want to share the album with.
If that person, phone number, or email address is in your Contacts app, you'll be able to select them as you type.
5. Creating a Shared Album
5-1. Open Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.
Use this method if you don't have an album that you want to share.
5-2. Tap Albums.
You should see this tab at the bottom of your screen and it will direct you to your albums.
5-3. Tap +.
This plus sign should be in the top left corner of your screen and will allow you to create a new album.
5-4. Tap New Shared Album.
It's usually the last option in the drop-down menu.
5-5. Enter a name for your shared album and tap Next.
This will be the name that everyone else sees, so make sure it reflects what is shared in the album.
5-6. Enter people to invite to your album, then tap Create.
You can use their name, email address, or phone number.
If you're not sure what their information is, but they are in Contacts, tap to open the Contacts app.
To add pictures to this album, tap the tile and then tap to select photos from your photo gallery.
Add more people to your shared album by tapping the person with a icon in the upper right corner of your screen.
Share your photos with people without iCloud by going to the People tab in your shared album and tapping "Public Website." Your photos will share to a public website so your friends without iCloud can see them.
6. Troubleshooting
6-1. Make sure your album is shared and not private.
If you can't share the album (can't find where to add people to it), you might have created a regular, private album. Share the pictures inside your album to create a new album and share it.
6-2. Allow cellular data for Photos.
In the case that this is blocked, you may not be seeing photos in a shared album. To fix this, go to .
6-3. Check your Wi-Fi connection.
If you aren't connected to the internet, you will not be able to share an album with others or make comments on uploads.
6-4. Check Apple's system status page.
If Photos is down, you won't see pictures or be able to share pictures in the shared album.
6-5. Turn "Shared Albums" in Settings off and back on again.
When you turn this feature off, you'll get a warning that all the shared albums on your phone will be deleted, but that's ok. They will be added again once you turn it back on.
6-6. Update your iOS.
Only iPhones, iPads, and Macs with at least iOS 7 will be able to see shared albums. If you haven't updated your iOS and are having issues with photos appearing in the shared album, you should try updating.
Tips
You can also share videos in shared albums, but they have to be under 15 minutes long. Supported formats include MP4, QuickTime file types, H.264, and MPEG-4.
If you don't want to use iCloud or a public website to share your photos, you can share your photos using Bluetooth instead. The receiving person, however, needs to be within Bluetooth range (up to 30 feet away).
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:24",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting an Invite\\n1-1. Open Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nDo this if the notification is missing from your Notification Center. If you see the shared album invitation in your Notification Center, you can simply tap it to accept the invite.\\n1-2. Tap For You.\\nIt's the tab that looks like a card at the bottom of your screen.\\n1-3. Tap Accept.\\nIf you've been invited to a shared album, you will see that invitation here.\\n2. Accessing Shared Albums\\n2-1. Open Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nThis method is useful once you've been invited to a shared album. Accept the invite, then you'll be able to see the album.\\n2-2. Tap Albums.\\nIt's at the bottom of your screen.\\n2-3. Tap the shared album.\\nScroll down and you'll see the \\\"Shared Albums\\\" header. You can see all the albums you've been invited to.\\n3. Turning on Shared Albums\\n3-1. Open Settings.\\nTap the app icon that looks like a pair of gears on a grey background.\\nThis method works on iPad and iPod touch as well as iPhone.\\nIf you're on a Mac, open the Photos app, then open .\\n3-2. Tap your name.\\nIt's the first thing you see when you open the Settings app.\\nIf your iPhone is older than iOS 11, then you can skip this step.\\n3-3. Tap iCloud.\\nThis is next to a blue cloud icon.\\n3-4. Tap Photos.\\nIt's the icon that looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\n3-5. Tap the switch next to \\\"Shared Albums\\\" to turn it on .\\nIf you have an older iPhone, this will say \\\"iCloud Photo Sharing\\\" instead.\\n4. Sharing an Album\\n4-1. Open Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nUse this method if you already have an album with pictures that you want to share. If you don't have one already, you'll need to create a new one.\\n4-2. Navigate to the album you want to share.\\nTap at the bottom of your screen to see all of your albums.\\n4-3. Tap Select.\\nThis is in the top right corner of your screen.\\n4-4. Tap Select All.\\nTapping this will select all the pictures in your album. If you want to deselect one or more, tap them so they don't display a blue checkmark in the top right corner of their thumbnail.\\n4-5. Tap .\\nThe Share icon looks like an arrow pointing up out of a box and will bring up a menu.\\n4-6. Tap Add to Shared Album.\\nIt's usually the second option in the menu.\\nYou can also follow these steps to add other pictures to your shared album.\\n4-7. Give your album a title and tap Next.\\nThis is the album title that everyone else will see, so make sure it has a name that reflects what's in the shared album.\\n4-8. Enter the names of those that you want to share the album with.\\nIf that person, phone number, or email address is in your Contacts app, you'll be able to select them as you type.\\n5. Creating a Shared Album\\n5-1. Open Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nUse this method if you don't have an album that you want to share.\\n5-2. Tap Albums.\\nYou should see this tab at the bottom of your screen and it will direct you to your albums.\\n5-3. Tap +.\\nThis plus sign should be in the top left corner of your screen and will allow you to create a new album.\\n5-4. Tap New Shared Album.\\nIt's usually the last option in the drop-down menu.\\n5-5. Enter a name for your shared album and tap Next.\\nThis will be the name that everyone else sees, so make sure it reflects what is shared in the album.\\n5-6. Enter people to invite to your album, then tap Create.\\nYou can use their name, email address, or phone number.\\nIf you're not sure what their information is, but they are in Contacts, tap to open the Contacts app.\\nTo add pictures to this album, tap the tile and then tap to select photos from your photo gallery.\\nAdd more people to your shared album by tapping the person with a icon in the upper right corner of your screen.\\nShare your photos with people without iCloud by going to the People tab in your shared album and tapping \\\"Public Website.\\\" Your photos will share to a public website so your friends without iCloud can see them.\\n6. Troubleshooting\\n6-1. Make sure your album is shared and not private.\\nIf you can't share the album (can't find where to add people to it), you might have created a regular, private album. Share the pictures inside your album to create a new album and share it.\\n6-2. Allow cellular data for Photos.\\nIn the case that this is blocked, you may not be seeing photos in a shared album. To fix this, go to .\\n6-3. Check your Wi-Fi connection.\\nIf you aren't connected to the internet, you will not be able to share an album with others or make comments on uploads.\\n6-4. Check Apple's system status page.\\nIf Photos is down, you won't see pictures or be able to share pictures in the shared album.\\n6-5. Turn \\\"Shared Albums\\\" in Settings off and back on again.\\nWhen you turn this feature off, you'll get a warning that all the shared albums on your phone will be deleted, but that's ok. They will be added again once you turn it back on.\\n6-6. Update your iOS.\\nOnly iPhones, iPads, and Macs with at least iOS 7 will be able to see shared albums. If you haven't updated your iOS and are having issues with photos appearing in the shared album, you should try updating.\\nTips\\nYou can also share videos in shared albums, but they have to be under 15 minutes long. Supported formats include MP4, QuickTime file types, H.264, and MPEG-4.\\nIf you don't want to use iCloud or a public website to share your photos, you can share your photos using Bluetooth instead. The receiving person, however, needs to be within Bluetooth range (up to 30 feet away).\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you want to share your photos with others without posting them on social media sites? If you and those you want to share with have Apple devices, you can share your albums via iCloud in a snap! This wikiHow article walks you through the process of creating a shared album to accepting an invite on an iPhone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting an Invite\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nDo this if the notification is missing from your Notification Center. If you see the shared album invitation in your Notification Center, you can simply tap it to accept the invite.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap For You.\", \"描述\": \"It's the tab that looks like a card at the bottom of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Accept.\", \"描述\": \"If you've been invited to a shared album, you will see that invitation here.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accessing Shared Albums\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nThis method is useful once you've been invited to a shared album. Accept the invite, then you'll be able to see the album.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Albums.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the shared album.\", \"描述\": \"Scroll down and you'll see the \\\"Shared Albums\\\" header. You can see all the albums you've been invited to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turning on Shared Albums\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Settings.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the app icon that looks like a pair of gears on a grey background.\\nThis method works on iPad and iPod touch as well as iPhone.\\nIf you're on a Mac, open the Photos app, then open .\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap your name.\", \"描述\": \"It's the first thing you see when you open the Settings app.\\nIf your iPhone is older than iOS 11, then you can skip this step.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap iCloud.\", \"描述\": \"This is next to a blue cloud icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Photos.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon that looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap the switch next to \\\"Shared Albums\\\" to turn it on .\", \"描述\": \"If you have an older iPhone, this will say \\\"iCloud Photo Sharing\\\" instead.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sharing an Album\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nUse this method if you already have an album with pictures that you want to share. If you don't have one already, you'll need to create a new one.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Navigate to the album you want to share.\", \"描述\": \"Tap at the bottom of your screen to see all of your albums.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Select.\", \"描述\": \"This is in the top right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Select All.\", \"描述\": \"Tapping this will select all the pictures in your album. If you want to deselect one or more, tap them so they don't display a blue checkmark in the top right corner of their thumbnail.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap .\", \"描述\": \"The Share icon looks like an arrow pointing up out of a box and will bring up a menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap Add to Shared Album.\", \"描述\": \"It's usually the second option in the menu.\\nYou can also follow these steps to add other pictures to your shared album.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Give your album a title and tap Next.\", \"描述\": \"This is the album title that everyone else will see, so make sure it has a name that reflects what's in the shared album.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enter the names of those that you want to share the album with.\", \"描述\": \"If that person, phone number, or email address is in your Contacts app, you'll be able to select them as you type.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Creating a Shared Album\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored pinwheel.\\nUse this method if you don't have an album that you want to share.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Albums.\", \"描述\": \"You should see this tab at the bottom of your screen and it will direct you to your albums.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap +.\", \"描述\": \"This plus sign should be in the top left corner of your screen and will allow you to create a new album.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap New Shared Album.\", \"描述\": \"It's usually the last option in the drop-down menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enter a name for your shared album and tap Next.\", \"描述\": \"This will be the name that everyone else sees, so make sure it reflects what is shared in the album.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enter people to invite to your album, then tap Create.\", \"描述\": \"You can use their name, email address, or phone number.\\nIf you're not sure what their information is, but they are in Contacts, tap to open the Contacts app.\\nTo add pictures to this album, tap the tile and then tap to select photos from your photo gallery.\\nAdd more people to your shared album by tapping the person with a icon in the upper right corner of your screen.\\nShare your photos with people without iCloud by going to the People tab in your shared album and tapping \\\"Public Website.\\\" Your photos will share to a public website so your friends without iCloud can see them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Troubleshooting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your album is shared and not private.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't share the album (can't find where to add people to it), you might have created a regular, private album. Share the pictures inside your album to create a new album and share it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Allow cellular data for Photos.\", \"描述\": \"In the case that this is blocked, you may not be seeing photos in a shared album. To fix this, go to .\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check your Wi-Fi connection.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren't connected to the internet, you will not be able to share an album with others or make comments on uploads.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check Apple's system status page.\", \"描述\": \"If Photos is down, you won't see pictures or be able to share pictures in the shared album.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Turn \\\"Shared Albums\\\" in Settings off and back on again.\", \"描述\": \"When you turn this feature off, you'll get a warning that all the shared albums on your phone will be deleted, but that's ok. They will be added again once you turn it back on.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Update your iOS.\", \"描述\": \"Only iPhones, iPads, and Macs with at least iOS 7 will be able to see shared albums. If you haven't updated your iOS and are having issues with photos appearing in the shared album, you should try updating.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can also share videos in shared albums, but they have to be under 15 minutes long. Supported formats include MP4, QuickTime file types, H.264, and MPEG-4.\\n\", \"If you don't want to use iCloud or a public website to share your photos, you can share your photos using Bluetooth instead. The receiving person, however, needs to be within Bluetooth range (up to 30 feet away).\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
119 | How to Accept That He's Just Not That Into You | 1. Facing the Truth
1-1. Stop making excuses for his behavior.
If a guy really likes you and is ready for and available for a relationship, it will be obvious to you. Otherwise, he is either stringing you along, is not ready for a relationship for some reason, or does not want to tell you the truth himself.
He may have gotten hurt in his last relationship and is still healing from that experience, or he may simply not be interested for whatever reason. It’s not your job to try to figure out why he’s not calling, or to try to fix the situation.
1-2. Be aware of the signs of a one-sided relationship.
If you constantly have to reassure yourself that he’ll come around eventually if you just wait a little bit longer, you are likely in a one-sided relationship. Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but most likely his distance is only making him seem more enticing to you, while he is free to come and go as he pleases.
Some behavioral signs to watch for include one partner taking an interest more than the other such as by doing things like asking about their life/day, inviting them to events, asking about what they like/prefer, etc. Another sign might be one person prioritizing the relationship more than the other such as by checking in about plans, thinking of the other person prior to making plans, setting aside time for phone calls or dates, etc.
If you find yourself listening to sad songs on the radio, and staring at the phone which may never ring, you are likely in a one-sided relationship.
1-3. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
It’s dangerous to change yourself to conform to what you think he wants. Take it seriously if trusted friends and family members comment to you about how you’re changing to “get a guy.” Changing yourself for someone else isn’t going to lead to a healthy relationship. Besides, it’s a lot more enjoyable to be with someone who knows, admires, and cares about the real you.
1-4. Take notice of the red flags you’ve been ignoring.
Often, actions speak louder than words, and when you stop making excuses for him and see his uninterested behavior for what it really is, you will free yourself to find a more balanced relationship with someone who deserves your love. After all, you deserve someone who can’t wait to spend more time with you, not someone who you have to convince to call you.
If you are unsure about his feelings toward you, are constantly questioning where things stand or whether he is in or out of a relationship with you, then he probably just isn’t that into you.
If he tells you that he doesn’t know what he wants, take him at his word! He is not reciprocating your interest, and you deserve the type of relationship that doesn’t make you question your place in his life.
If he calls you or wants to see you on the weekend, but drops off the face of the earth during the week, there is something going on. You tell yourself that he is busy with work or school, but when a guy is truly interested and committed to a relationship, he will find the time to reach out and communicate with you.
If he talks about his ex often, he most likely isn’t over them yet and is therefore not ready or available for a relationship with you.
1-5. Be honest with yourself.
The best way to cope with the pain of rejection is to not lie to yourself as if you don't care at all. Just accept the truth that you read his interest wrong and that you got hurt in the process.
Consider the possibility that your feelings for him have become inflated simply because they aren’t returned. We often want what we can’t have.
Keep in mind that there are things you can't control. You can't make someone like/love you or even change their behavior, no matter how much you want to. They have to be willing to do that.
1-6. Acknowledge your feelings.
Your feelings are real and valid, and it can help to know that falling in love with someone is a perfectly normal, healthy human behavior. Even if the love is not reciprocated, acknowledging that you feel deeply about someone is important.
Talk it out with a trusted friend or a counselor to help you work through your feelings and to avoid the urge to suppress them just because they are painful.
Give yourself permission to think about how you feel about him, but try to limit your thoughts to just a few minutes each day, so that they don’t become all-consuming and obsessive.
1-7. Treat yourself kindly.
Think positively about yourself, and remember all of your good qualities, and all of the activities that you enjoy. Indulge yourself with a relaxing spa day, go for a hike on a beautiful day, or spend some time with a good friend.
Create a mantra. Think of a brief positive phrase that you can say to yourself when you are feeling down and need reassurance that it's all going to be okay. This can be something as simple as “keep your head up and your heart open”.
Spend a few minutes each day meditating in a quiet place. Think about this experience as an opportunity for personal growth, and keep in mind that you won’t always feel this way. The way you deal with your loss will help you grow stronger as a person.
1-8. Take back your power.
Your value and worth as a person have nothing to do with his perception of you. Remember that his lack of interest in a relationship with you does not mean that you are not worthy of a great relationship with the right person. Never let someone else’s interest or lack of interest in you define your own self-worth.
Put yourself in his shoes. Unless he is a sociopath, he is likely not trying to hurt you. Have you ever had the experience of having to let someone down easy who you are not that interested in? Keep in mind that next time, you may be the person who is just not that into someone who has unrequited feelings for you.
2. Stopping False Hope
2-1. Manage your expectations.
Once you have found some clarity regarding the situation, and realized that your feelings for him are not reciprocated, it is time to match your expectations of what will happen in reality. The expectation that today will be the day that he asks you out, wants to get back together, or finally realizes that you are the girl of his dreams only serves to keep you in the painful cycle of getting your hopes up and then disappointing you over and over.
Center your expectations of the day on things that you have some control over such as having lunch with a friend, getting to class on time, and enjoying some time outside in nature.
Begin each day with a positive outlook. Don’t allow yourself to pin your happiness on whether or not he reaches out to you. You have no control over how anyone else feels, acts, or behaves. By reining in your own expectations of what you believe should happen on any given day, you can give yourself some peace.
Be open to any possibility. For example, if he hasn’t called you in several days, you can stop stressing yourself out with the notion that it might happen today. By letting go of the expectation, you release yourself from the pain of it not being fulfilled.
2-2. Avoid magical thinking.
Magical thinking is the tendency that we learn as children to romanticize everything, and to find extra meaning and purpose in a relationship when it really doesn’t exist. When you think that you have met “the one”, that fate has brought you together, or that the two of you are meant to be, it can be difficult to let go of the hope that he will eventually see that you are the perfect girl for him.
Take off your rose-colored glasses. Allow yourself to see through your idealized version of him and notice his flaws. The truth is, there is no “perfect” person or relationship. Magical thinking is unhealthy because it creates fairy-tale standards that no real person could possibly live up to.
Let go of unhealthy beliefs and rituals, such as getting up on a certain side of the bed every morning in the hope that doing so will make him call you that day. Accept that there is no causation between your actions and his actions.
2-3. Let yourself grieve.
When his lack of interest in a relationship has become undeniable, it's time to cope with the pain. Be gentle with yourself, as you are likely embarrassed and reprimanding yourself for putting your heart on the line. Remember that you are just a human being. We all have feelings, and hope for and have a need for love, it's in our nature...Forgive yourself because you never meant to hurt yourself.
Pamper yourself with a hot bubble bath or a trip to the nail salon.
Talk to your friends and family, and let them comfort you. We have all been in a similar situation before.
Take yourself out on a date to a movie you’ve been wanting to see.
2-4. Play it cool.
It can be rather difficult to swallow your feelings when you’re around him, especially if you work with him or have a class together. Rather than focus on him and your uncomfortable feelings, concentrate on doing your best work, or help someone else out with a project.
Make plans to be somewhere else right after class or work, so that you won’t have to worry about making awkward small talk with him.
Always be kind yet reserved when you do have to talk to him.
2-5. Delete his contact information.
Go ahead and remove his telephone number from your phone, so that you’re not tempted to call or text him. De-friend him on social media as well, so that can’t reach out to him that way, and there’s no risk of getting your heart broken all over again by seeing a picture of him with another girl.
Make sure that you delete his voicemails and texts too, so that you can’t go back and re-read or listen to them.
2-6. Fill up your calendar.
Make sure that you get involved with new activities and enjoy your own life. Now is the time to sign up for that art class you’ve been wanting to take, or go on a trip somewhere.
Keep yourself busy with plans with friends as a way to cope with rejection/sadness. Develop a daily routine for yourself and spend time with your friends and family to get support.
3. Moving On
3-1. Take your time.
Having feelings for someone that are not returned is a painful experience. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself. By taking the time for introspection and self-evaluation, you can take stock of what happened, and notice any patterns that tend to permeate all of your relationships.
Release your regrets about what happened, and think of this as a time to mend your broken heart.
3-2. Date other people.
By being open to seeing other people, you will probably realize that the guy who broke your heart wasn’t the right one for you after all. There are a lot of other fish in the sea!
Before you jump into a rebound relationship with another person, say to yourself, "I am not hoping to meet the one. I am not in a fairy tale, and I am already complete. I don't need a guy to be happy."
3-3. Heal your heart.
You are perfect just the way you are; you are the most important person in your life. Build a life that you can be proud of and don't let any guy decide your value and worth for you. Love yourself and make yourself happy before loving anyone else!
Make sure that your heart is fully healed before you share it with anyone else. You may want to hold off on dating for a while.
Rebuild your self-esteem. Your self-esteem has likely taken a hit. Immerse yourself in activities that make you feel confident, such as playing your favorite sport or making dinner for your family.
Set aside time in your life for the things that make you happy and fulfilled. Don’t forget to spend some time alone, too.
Be patient with the healing process. It can take some time for your heart to recover from the pain of unrequited love.
3-4. Learn about healthy relationships.
It’s important that you don’t carry the baggage of this experience into your next relationship. To ensure that you’ll start off on a positive note, observe the romantic relationships in your life, whether that means your mom and dad’s relationship or your best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend. Ask the people in these seemingly happy, healthy relationships for advice and information.
You can also research online or check out a self-help book on healthy relationships from the library.
Educate yourself on some of the characteristics of a healthy relationship by going to: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-characteristics-healthy-relationships.
Tips
Don't think too much. Just move on. There are a lot of other guys out there!
You can take the experience of unrequited love as a lesson, and remember how you grew from learning to love yourself.
Remember, he wasn't worth your time anyway if he made you unhappy.
Warnings
Don't advertise your loss to the world or wear your grief on your sleeve like a badge of honor.
Do not engage in vindictive behavior or try to sabotage any future relationship he may have.
Don't get drunk and call him.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Facing the Truth\\n1-1. Stop making excuses for his behavior.\\nIf a guy really likes you and is ready for and available for a relationship, it will be obvious to you. Otherwise, he is either stringing you along, is not ready for a relationship for some reason, or does not want to tell you the truth himself.\\nHe may have gotten hurt in his last relationship and is still healing from that experience, or he may simply not be interested for whatever reason. It’s not your job to try to figure out why he’s not calling, or to try to fix the situation.\\n1-2. Be aware of the signs of a one-sided relationship.\\nIf you constantly have to reassure yourself that he’ll come around eventually if you just wait a little bit longer, you are likely in a one-sided relationship. Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but most likely his distance is only making him seem more enticing to you, while he is free to come and go as he pleases.\\nSome behavioral signs to watch for include one partner taking an interest more than the other such as by doing things like asking about their life/day, inviting them to events, asking about what they like/prefer, etc. Another sign might be one person prioritizing the relationship more than the other such as by checking in about plans, thinking of the other person prior to making plans, setting aside time for phone calls or dates, etc.\\nIf you find yourself listening to sad songs on the radio, and staring at the phone which may never ring, you are likely in a one-sided relationship.\\n1-3. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.\\nIt’s dangerous to change yourself to conform to what you think he wants. Take it seriously if trusted friends and family members comment to you about how you’re changing to “get a guy.” Changing yourself for someone else isn’t going to lead to a healthy relationship. Besides, it’s a lot more enjoyable to be with someone who knows, admires, and cares about the real you.\\n1-4. Take notice of the red flags you’ve been ignoring.\\nOften, actions speak louder than words, and when you stop making excuses for him and see his uninterested behavior for what it really is, you will free yourself to find a more balanced relationship with someone who deserves your love. After all, you deserve someone who can’t wait to spend more time with you, not someone who you have to convince to call you.\\nIf you are unsure about his feelings toward you, are constantly questioning where things stand or whether he is in or out of a relationship with you, then he probably just isn’t that into you.\\nIf he tells you that he doesn’t know what he wants, take him at his word! He is not reciprocating your interest, and you deserve the type of relationship that doesn’t make you question your place in his life.\\nIf he calls you or wants to see you on the weekend, but drops off the face of the earth during the week, there is something going on. You tell yourself that he is busy with work or school, but when a guy is truly interested and committed to a relationship, he will find the time to reach out and communicate with you.\\nIf he talks about his ex often, he most likely isn’t over them yet and is therefore not ready or available for a relationship with you.\\n1-5. Be honest with yourself.\\nThe best way to cope with the pain of rejection is to not lie to yourself as if you don't care at all. Just accept the truth that you read his interest wrong and that you got hurt in the process.\\nConsider the possibility that your feelings for him have become inflated simply because they aren’t returned. We often want what we can’t have.\\nKeep in mind that there are things you can't control. You can't make someone like/love you or even change their behavior, no matter how much you want to. They have to be willing to do that.\\n1-6. Acknowledge your feelings.\\nYour feelings are real and valid, and it can help to know that falling in love with someone is a perfectly normal, healthy human behavior. Even if the love is not reciprocated, acknowledging that you feel deeply about someone is important.\\nTalk it out with a trusted friend or a counselor to help you work through your feelings and to avoid the urge to suppress them just because they are painful.\\nGive yourself permission to think about how you feel about him, but try to limit your thoughts to just a few minutes each day, so that they don’t become all-consuming and obsessive.\\n1-7. Treat yourself kindly.\\nThink positively about yourself, and remember all of your good qualities, and all of the activities that you enjoy. Indulge yourself with a relaxing spa day, go for a hike on a beautiful day, or spend some time with a good friend.\\nCreate a mantra. Think of a brief positive phrase that you can say to yourself when you are feeling down and need reassurance that it's all going to be okay. This can be something as simple as “keep your head up and your heart open”.\\nSpend a few minutes each day meditating in a quiet place. Think about this experience as an opportunity for personal growth, and keep in mind that you won’t always feel this way. The way you deal with your loss will help you grow stronger as a person.\\n1-8. Take back your power.\\nYour value and worth as a person have nothing to do with his perception of you. Remember that his lack of interest in a relationship with you does not mean that you are not worthy of a great relationship with the right person. Never let someone else’s interest or lack of interest in you define your own self-worth.\\nPut yourself in his shoes. Unless he is a sociopath, he is likely not trying to hurt you. Have you ever had the experience of having to let someone down easy who you are not that interested in? Keep in mind that next time, you may be the person who is just not that into someone who has unrequited feelings for you.\\n2. Stopping False Hope\\n2-1. Manage your expectations.\\nOnce you have found some clarity regarding the situation, and realized that your feelings for him are not reciprocated, it is time to match your expectations of what will happen in reality. The expectation that today will be the day that he asks you out, wants to get back together, or finally realizes that you are the girl of his dreams only serves to keep you in the painful cycle of getting your hopes up and then disappointing you over and over.\\nCenter your expectations of the day on things that you have some control over such as having lunch with a friend, getting to class on time, and enjoying some time outside in nature.\\nBegin each day with a positive outlook. Don’t allow yourself to pin your happiness on whether or not he reaches out to you. You have no control over how anyone else feels, acts, or behaves. By reining in your own expectations of what you believe should happen on any given day, you can give yourself some peace.\\nBe open to any possibility. For example, if he hasn’t called you in several days, you can stop stressing yourself out with the notion that it might happen today. By letting go of the expectation, you release yourself from the pain of it not being fulfilled.\\n2-2. Avoid magical thinking.\\nMagical thinking is the tendency that we learn as children to romanticize everything, and to find extra meaning and purpose in a relationship when it really doesn’t exist. When you think that you have met “the one”, that fate has brought you together, or that the two of you are meant to be, it can be difficult to let go of the hope that he will eventually see that you are the perfect girl for him.\\nTake off your rose-colored glasses. Allow yourself to see through your idealized version of him and notice his flaws. The truth is, there is no “perfect” person or relationship. Magical thinking is unhealthy because it creates fairy-tale standards that no real person could possibly live up to.\\nLet go of unhealthy beliefs and rituals, such as getting up on a certain side of the bed every morning in the hope that doing so will make him call you that day. Accept that there is no causation between your actions and his actions.\\n2-3. Let yourself grieve.\\nWhen his lack of interest in a relationship has become undeniable, it's time to cope with the pain. Be gentle with yourself, as you are likely embarrassed and reprimanding yourself for putting your heart on the line. Remember that you are just a human being. We all have feelings, and hope for and have a need for love, it's in our nature...Forgive yourself because you never meant to hurt yourself.\\nPamper yourself with a hot bubble bath or a trip to the nail salon.\\nTalk to your friends and family, and let them comfort you. We have all been in a similar situation before.\\nTake yourself out on a date to a movie you’ve been wanting to see.\\n2-4. Play it cool.\\nIt can be rather difficult to swallow your feelings when you’re around him, especially if you work with him or have a class together. Rather than focus on him and your uncomfortable feelings, concentrate on doing your best work, or help someone else out with a project.\\nMake plans to be somewhere else right after class or work, so that you won’t have to worry about making awkward small talk with him.\\nAlways be kind yet reserved when you do have to talk to him.\\n2-5. Delete his contact information.\\nGo ahead and remove his telephone number from your phone, so that you’re not tempted to call or text him. De-friend him on social media as well, so that can’t reach out to him that way, and there’s no risk of getting your heart broken all over again by seeing a picture of him with another girl.\\nMake sure that you delete his voicemails and texts too, so that you can’t go back and re-read or listen to them.\\n2-6. Fill up your calendar.\\nMake sure that you get involved with new activities and enjoy your own life. Now is the time to sign up for that art class you’ve been wanting to take, or go on a trip somewhere.\\nKeep yourself busy with plans with friends as a way to cope with rejection/sadness. Develop a daily routine for yourself and spend time with your friends and family to get support.\\n3. Moving On\\n3-1. Take your time.\\nHaving feelings for someone that are not returned is a painful experience. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself. By taking the time for introspection and self-evaluation, you can take stock of what happened, and notice any patterns that tend to permeate all of your relationships.\\nRelease your regrets about what happened, and think of this as a time to mend your broken heart.\\n3-2. Date other people.\\nBy being open to seeing other people, you will probably realize that the guy who broke your heart wasn’t the right one for you after all. There are a lot of other fish in the sea!\\nBefore you jump into a rebound relationship with another person, say to yourself, \\\"I am not hoping to meet the one. I am not in a fairy tale, and I am already complete. I don't need a guy to be happy.\\\"\\n3-3. Heal your heart.\\nYou are perfect just the way you are; you are the most important person in your life. Build a life that you can be proud of and don't let any guy decide your value and worth for you. Love yourself and make yourself happy before loving anyone else!\\nMake sure that your heart is fully healed before you share it with anyone else. You may want to hold off on dating for a while.\\nRebuild your self-esteem. Your self-esteem has likely taken a hit. Immerse yourself in activities that make you feel confident, such as playing your favorite sport or making dinner for your family.\\nSet aside time in your life for the things that make you happy and fulfilled. Don’t forget to spend some time alone, too.\\nBe patient with the healing process. It can take some time for your heart to recover from the pain of unrequited love.\\n3-4. Learn about healthy relationships.\\nIt’s important that you don’t carry the baggage of this experience into your next relationship. To ensure that you’ll start off on a positive note, observe the romantic relationships in your life, whether that means your mom and dad’s relationship or your best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend. Ask the people in these seemingly happy, healthy relationships for advice and information.\\nYou can also research online or check out a self-help book on healthy relationships from the library.\\nEducate yourself on some of the characteristics of a healthy relationship by going to: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-characteristics-healthy-relationships.\\nTips\\nDon't think too much. Just move on. There are a lot of other guys out there!\\nYou can take the experience of unrequited love as a lesson, and remember how you grew from learning to love yourself.\\nRemember, he wasn't worth your time anyway if he made you unhappy.\\nWarnings\\nDon't advertise your loss to the world or wear your grief on your sleeve like a badge of honor.\\nDo not engage in vindictive behavior or try to sabotage any future relationship he may have.\\nDon't get drunk and call him.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes, you just have to accept that the guy you like doesn't feel the same way. When you find yourself wondering, \\\"Why isn't he calling? Why doesn't he care?\\\" it's time to move on to the other fish in the sea—there are plenty of them. As much as it hurts, you have to face the reality that he's just not that into you—and then move on. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you wonder how they feel about you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Facing the Truth\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop making excuses for his behavior.\", \"描述\": \"If a guy really likes you and is ready for and available for a relationship, it will be obvious to you. Otherwise, he is either stringing you along, is not ready for a relationship for some reason, or does not want to tell you the truth himself.\\nHe may have gotten hurt in his last relationship and is still healing from that experience, or he may simply not be interested for whatever reason. It’s not your job to try to figure out why he’s not calling, or to try to fix the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be aware of the signs of a one-sided relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If you constantly have to reassure yourself that he’ll come around eventually if you just wait a little bit longer, you are likely in a one-sided relationship. Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but most likely his distance is only making him seem more enticing to you, while he is free to come and go as he pleases.\\nSome behavioral signs to watch for include one partner taking an interest more than the other such as by doing things like asking about their life/day, inviting them to events, asking about what they like/prefer, etc. Another sign might be one person prioritizing the relationship more than the other such as by checking in about plans, thinking of the other person prior to making plans, setting aside time for phone calls or dates, etc.\\nIf you find yourself listening to sad songs on the radio, and staring at the phone which may never ring, you are likely in a one-sided relationship.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t try to be someone you’re not.\", \"描述\": \"It’s dangerous to change yourself to conform to what you think he wants. Take it seriously if trusted friends and family members comment to you about how you’re changing to “get a guy.” Changing yourself for someone else isn’t going to lead to a healthy relationship. Besides, it’s a lot more enjoyable to be with someone who knows, admires, and cares about the real you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take notice of the red flags you’ve been ignoring.\", \"描述\": \"Often, actions speak louder than words, and when you stop making excuses for him and see his uninterested behavior for what it really is, you will free yourself to find a more balanced relationship with someone who deserves your love. After all, you deserve someone who can’t wait to spend more time with you, not someone who you have to convince to call you.\\nIf you are unsure about his feelings toward you, are constantly questioning where things stand or whether he is in or out of a relationship with you, then he probably just isn’t that into you.\\nIf he tells you that he doesn’t know what he wants, take him at his word! He is not reciprocating your interest, and you deserve the type of relationship that doesn’t make you question your place in his life.\\nIf he calls you or wants to see you on the weekend, but drops off the face of the earth during the week, there is something going on. You tell yourself that he is busy with work or school, but when a guy is truly interested and committed to a relationship, he will find the time to reach out and communicate with you.\\nIf he talks about his ex often, he most likely isn’t over them yet and is therefore not ready or available for a relationship with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be honest with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to cope with the pain of rejection is to not lie to yourself as if you don't care at all. Just accept the truth that you read his interest wrong and that you got hurt in the process.\\nConsider the possibility that your feelings for him have become inflated simply because they aren’t returned. We often want what we can’t have.\\nKeep in mind that there are things you can't control. You can't make someone like/love you or even change their behavior, no matter how much you want to. They have to be willing to do that.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Your feelings are real and valid, and it can help to know that falling in love with someone is a perfectly normal, healthy human behavior. Even if the love is not reciprocated, acknowledging that you feel deeply about someone is important.\\nTalk it out with a trusted friend or a counselor to help you work through your feelings and to avoid the urge to suppress them just because they are painful.\\nGive yourself permission to think about how you feel about him, but try to limit your thoughts to just a few minutes each day, so that they don’t become all-consuming and obsessive.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Treat yourself kindly.\", \"描述\": \"Think positively about yourself, and remember all of your good qualities, and all of the activities that you enjoy. Indulge yourself with a relaxing spa day, go for a hike on a beautiful day, or spend some time with a good friend.\\nCreate a mantra. Think of a brief positive phrase that you can say to yourself when you are feeling down and need reassurance that it's all going to be okay. This can be something as simple as “keep your head up and your heart open”.\\nSpend a few minutes each day meditating in a quiet place. Think about this experience as an opportunity for personal growth, and keep in mind that you won’t always feel this way. The way you deal with your loss will help you grow stronger as a person.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take back your power.\", \"描述\": \"Your value and worth as a person have nothing to do with his perception of you. Remember that his lack of interest in a relationship with you does not mean that you are not worthy of a great relationship with the right person. Never let someone else’s interest or lack of interest in you define your own self-worth.\\nPut yourself in his shoes. Unless he is a sociopath, he is likely not trying to hurt you. Have you ever had the experience of having to let someone down easy who you are not that interested in? Keep in mind that next time, you may be the person who is just not that into someone who has unrequited feelings for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stopping False Hope\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Manage your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have found some clarity regarding the situation, and realized that your feelings for him are not reciprocated, it is time to match your expectations of what will happen in reality. The expectation that today will be the day that he asks you out, wants to get back together, or finally realizes that you are the girl of his dreams only serves to keep you in the painful cycle of getting your hopes up and then disappointing you over and over.\\nCenter your expectations of the day on things that you have some control over such as having lunch with a friend, getting to class on time, and enjoying some time outside in nature.\\nBegin each day with a positive outlook. Don’t allow yourself to pin your happiness on whether or not he reaches out to you. You have no control over how anyone else feels, acts, or behaves. By reining in your own expectations of what you believe should happen on any given day, you can give yourself some peace.\\nBe open to any possibility. For example, if he hasn’t called you in several days, you can stop stressing yourself out with the notion that it might happen today. By letting go of the expectation, you release yourself from the pain of it not being fulfilled.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid magical thinking.\", \"描述\": \"Magical thinking is the tendency that we learn as children to romanticize everything, and to find extra meaning and purpose in a relationship when it really doesn’t exist. When you think that you have met “the one”, that fate has brought you together, or that the two of you are meant to be, it can be difficult to let go of the hope that he will eventually see that you are the perfect girl for him.\\nTake off your rose-colored glasses. Allow yourself to see through your idealized version of him and notice his flaws. The truth is, there is no “perfect” person or relationship. Magical thinking is unhealthy because it creates fairy-tale standards that no real person could possibly live up to.\\nLet go of unhealthy beliefs and rituals, such as getting up on a certain side of the bed every morning in the hope that doing so will make him call you that day. Accept that there is no causation between your actions and his actions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let yourself grieve.\", \"描述\": \"When his lack of interest in a relationship has become undeniable, it's time to cope with the pain. Be gentle with yourself, as you are likely embarrassed and reprimanding yourself for putting your heart on the line. Remember that you are just a human being. We all have feelings, and hope for and have a need for love, it's in our nature...Forgive yourself because you never meant to hurt yourself.\\nPamper yourself with a hot bubble bath or a trip to the nail salon.\\nTalk to your friends and family, and let them comfort you. We have all been in a similar situation before.\\nTake yourself out on a date to a movie you’ve been wanting to see.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Play it cool.\", \"描述\": \"It can be rather difficult to swallow your feelings when you’re around him, especially if you work with him or have a class together. Rather than focus on him and your uncomfortable feelings, concentrate on doing your best work, or help someone else out with a project.\\nMake plans to be somewhere else right after class or work, so that you won’t have to worry about making awkward small talk with him.\\nAlways be kind yet reserved when you do have to talk to him.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Delete his contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Go ahead and remove his telephone number from your phone, so that you’re not tempted to call or text him. De-friend him on social media as well, so that can’t reach out to him that way, and there’s no risk of getting your heart broken all over again by seeing a picture of him with another girl.\\nMake sure that you delete his voicemails and texts too, so that you can’t go back and re-read or listen to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Fill up your calendar.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that you get involved with new activities and enjoy your own life. Now is the time to sign up for that art class you’ve been wanting to take, or go on a trip somewhere.\\nKeep yourself busy with plans with friends as a way to cope with rejection/sadness. Develop a daily routine for yourself and spend time with your friends and family to get support.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Moving On\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take your time.\", \"描述\": \"Having feelings for someone that are not returned is a painful experience. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself. By taking the time for introspection and self-evaluation, you can take stock of what happened, and notice any patterns that tend to permeate all of your relationships.\\nRelease your regrets about what happened, and think of this as a time to mend your broken heart.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Date other people.\", \"描述\": \"By being open to seeing other people, you will probably realize that the guy who broke your heart wasn’t the right one for you after all. There are a lot of other fish in the sea!\\nBefore you jump into a rebound relationship with another person, say to yourself, \\\"I am not hoping to meet the one. I am not in a fairy tale, and I am already complete. I don't need a guy to be happy.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Heal your heart.\", \"描述\": \"You are perfect just the way you are; you are the most important person in your life. Build a life that you can be proud of and don't let any guy decide your value and worth for you. Love yourself and make yourself happy before loving anyone else!\\nMake sure that your heart is fully healed before you share it with anyone else. You may want to hold off on dating for a while.\\nRebuild your self-esteem. Your self-esteem has likely taken a hit. Immerse yourself in activities that make you feel confident, such as playing your favorite sport or making dinner for your family.\\nSet aside time in your life for the things that make you happy and fulfilled. Don’t forget to spend some time alone, too.\\nBe patient with the healing process. It can take some time for your heart to recover from the pain of unrequited love.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn about healthy relationships.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important that you don’t carry the baggage of this experience into your next relationship. To ensure that you’ll start off on a positive note, observe the romantic relationships in your life, whether that means your mom and dad’s relationship or your best friend’s relationship with her boyfriend. Ask the people in these seemingly happy, healthy relationships for advice and information.\\nYou can also research online or check out a self-help book on healthy relationships from the library.\\nEducate yourself on some of the characteristics of a healthy relationship by going to: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/50-characteristics-healthy-relationships.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't think too much. Just move on. There are a lot of other guys out there!\\n\", \"You can take the experience of unrequited love as a lesson, and remember how you grew from learning to love yourself.\\n\", \"Remember, he wasn't worth your time anyway if he made you unhappy.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't advertise your loss to the world or wear your grief on your sleeve like a badge of honor.\\n\", \"Do not engage in vindictive behavior or try to sabotage any future relationship he may have.\\n\", \"Don't get drunk and call him.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
120 | How to Accept That You're Getting Older | 1. Getting in the Right Mindset
1-1. Have realistic expectations.
Our culture encourages people to think they can be young forever if they just use the right creams and take the right supplements. The fact is, this just isn't true. As you enter your later years, try to develop realistic (not pessimistic) expectations of what getting older will actually be like.
Don't expect the worst--having a negative view of the future can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Likewise though, don't expect to be able to do everything you did in your 20s. If you have realistic expectations about what you will and will not be able to do, the transition to this period of life will be easier.
Even the most youthful 90 year old, for example, usually won't be found skateboarding or deep sea diving. In fact, most people who live to this age will need help with tasks like getting groceries from the store. This doesn't mean, however, that you won't be able to take a stroll in the park with friends or play your favorite instrument.
1-2. Try to relax.
Many people panic when they realize they are getting older. The result is a "fight or flight" response that causes people to frantically look for a solution, rushing out to buy the latest miracle cure. Try to stay calm and take things in stride.
Being calm allows for more sober reflection on the situation. Thinking clearly allows us to come to terms with reality sooner. This, in turn, makes it possible to start accepting the changes that aging brings and finding happiness in this new stage of life.
1-3. Avoid denial.
There's nothing wrong with doing what you can to look and feel your best in later years. However, accepting you are getting older means you shouldn't try to mask or hide your age from others (or yourself).
If putting on a mask of honey and yogurt makes your skin feel better or smoother or slows wrinkling, great. Healthy activities that help you look your best are fine. Don't try to do things to "cover up" your age though. It might be time, for example, to ditch the super-tight cut offs or toupee.
Clinging to illusions of physical youth keeps us dependent on the validation of others, rather than helping us accept ourselves for who we now are.
Think carefully before getting plastic surgery. The jury is out on the extent to which it actually makes people feel more attractive. What is clear is that sometimes when you get work done in one area, it only serves highlight wrinkles in another. This can start you down a path of one procedure after another, after another. Before you get one of these procedures, think about whether this might be the start of a road you don't really want to go down. It is often better to accept yourself for who you are.
1-4. Redefine attractiveness.
To extent you are able, try to rethink what attractiveness means, focusing on the whole person rather than a youthful physique. You are never going to look like a 20 year old again, but being attractive in your 40s, 50s, and 60s means something different than it did when you were in your 20s.
Being self-assured and healthy is a different, more mature kind of beauty that you can aspire to. It will give you a sense of self-worth and attractiveness that trying (unsuccessfully) to look like your former self will not achieve.
This may mean you have to argue with your inner voice. Because of the culture we live in, there's probably going to be a voice in your head saying "I look so old" or "I'm getting fat." Speak up against that inner voice, and counter it with positive statements like "I am healthy and loved."
1-5. Embrace your past, but don't try to relive it.
Your past is a huge part of who you are. Reflecting on where you've been can help you become a more mature person, and reflecting on the changes you've gone through before can help you accept the changes you are experiencing now. Trying to relive the past as a way to cling to your youth, however, only delays acceptance of who you are now.
A certain amount of nostalgia is inevitable and normal, but resist the temptation to try to recreate the past. For example, if you want to play football again to recapture some of the joy you experienced when you were younger, then keep in mind that you may not be able to play as hard or as long as you used to. You will probably need to start slow and build up your strength and endurance. You may also want to check with your doctor first to ensure that you are healthy enough to play.
1-6. Be proud and grateful.
The fact that you are getting older means you survived. Not everyone does. Further, the life experiences you have had have taught you lessons and, hopefully, granted you a wisdom younger people don't have. Be proud of what you have achieved and grateful for your life experience.
Your perspective can be an advantage. You may know things about life that many people do not. Reflect on your life and see what lessons you can find there. Think about how you can make this wisdom valuable to others.
Try keeping a gratitude journal to help you keep track of all of the things you feel grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or even just telling a loved one about a few things you feel grateful for each day can increase your happiness and well-being. For example, you might note that you feel grateful for your friends, a beautiful sunset, or even just a good cup of coffee. Keep adding items to your list every day and check it from time to time to remind yourself about what makes you feel grateful.
2. Staying Active
2-1. Keep learning.
Continuing to have an active, fulfilling life will make acceptance of your aging easier. Even if you've reached a point where you are physically unable to do a lot of things you might like to do, you can keep learning new things.
Read books and watch documentaries. Keep learning things and explore multiple perspectives on the world you live in. Seeing and finding out about new things will keep life interesting and help give you a sense that you haven't seen it all yet.
Research has shown that people who keep learning throughout life are happier and retain their mental capacities better than those who do not. Keep your mind sharp and stay curious. Life will be better, and you'll keep feeling a sense of potential as you age.
2-2. Try new things.
Similarly, keep developing new skills. Take up a new hobby. Learn to play an instrument or take a music class. Take up chess. Learn to cook. Doing new things makes life feel more promising and keeps your mind sharp.
Challenge yourself mentally. Even doing crosswords or other brain-teaser puzzles can help you maintain your mental facilities and stave off dementia.
Knowing that your mind is still sharp and that you can still do new things in life will help you accept the fact that you are aging.
Look for weekend classes for hobbies you want to explore.
2-3. Keep doing what you're good at.
Aging isn't all about decline. Experience can mean you've honed certain skills to a level that younger people have not. In addition to trying new things, keep doing things you excel at.
You may be an expert in a certain field of knowledge, or maybe you've developed an artistic talent or technical skill over many years of practice. Such expertise is valuable to others, so keep using it!
You might consider delaying retirement, if your job gives you satisfaction. If you want to retire or already have, you might looking for a way to use your expertise in retired life. Maybe you could teach a class at a local community center, or use your skills in a volunteer capacity. Explore your options.
2-4. Stay social.
Many older people allow themselves to become isolated and solitary. This doesn't make for a fulfilling life and also can hasten mental decline.
Talk often with friends and family. Stay in touch with old friends, and look for opportunities to make new ones.
Community engagement is a great way to stay social and give your life a sense of value. Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or some other organization doing community service. This will give you a network of people socialize with and a task that feels worth doing.
2-5. Find a purpose.
However you decide to occupy your time, make sure it feels purposeful. Many people, post retirement, find that they feel cast adrift and don't have anything to live for. Find something that gives your life a sense of meaning or value.
This could be volunteering, an artistic pursuit, or finding some way to share your knowledge and perspective with others. Whatever you opt to pursue, having a sense that your life has meaning will make it easier to accept aging.
Research shows that people with a sense of purpose often live longer! Not only will it make it easier for you to accept the stage of life you are in, it may give you some extra years to enjoy, too.
3. Staying Healthy
3-1. Talk to people who are older than you.
Fear can have a negative impact on your overall well-being. Familiarizing yourself with aging may help to dispel some of your fears about aging, and talking to people who are older than you is a good way to do this. Spend some time talking with an elderly relative or friend once per week. Ask about their experiences and listen to what they have to share.
By spending time with someone who is older than you, you may start to find it easier to imagine an older version of yourself. Spending time with someone who is older than you may also start to demystify the aging process a bit and make it easier to accept.
3-2. Exercise regularly.
Staying physically active can make your body and mind feel better and can help promote a longer, healthier life. Staying active means you will be more able to keep doing things that make you happy.
If you aren't physically active now, start small and work your way up. Start with easily achievable goals. Park farther away from the store and walk a little. Take the stairs instead of the elevator if you're only going up a couple of floors. Then, slowly start building more exercise into your routine.
Stretching and yoga can help you stay flexible and maintain range of motion. This can help you maintain your ability to do other things you enjoy.
3-3. Eat a healthy diet.
As you get older, eating the right foods becomes increasingly important in ensuring the good health you need to retain a satisfying quality of life. Pay close attention to what you eat. Specifically:
Make sure you get enough protein to help keep your muscles strong.
Limit fat intake, and eat healthy fats like those found in fish and avocado.
Drink plenty of water.
Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.
Consider dietary supplements. Talk to your doctor or a dietician about which one(s) might be most beneficial for you.
3-4. Don't smoke.
Everyone knows cigarettes are bad for your health. They are bad for your skin and lungs and can cause cancer. Cigarettes have also been linked to faster mental decline in elderly people.
If you already smoke, try to quit. Even if you have smoked for years, quitting may have a positive effect. If you don't smoke, don't start.
3-5. Try meditation.
Daily meditation can help you deal with physical discomfort that might come with aging, and can also help with the anxiety and depression you might experience if you are struggling to accept aging.
Try to clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on your breathing for several minutes. If thoughts begin to creep in, let them pass through your mind and return your focus to your breathing.
3-6. See a doctor regularly.
To make sure your health stays good, see your doctor regularly. Catching problems early can help you deal with them before they become serious.
Be your own advocate and ask good questions when you go see the doctor. Bring your health history, and be assertive about asking questions about any concerns you may have.
If this stressful for you, remember that it's okay to bring a friend of loved one with you.
Tips
Try to stay positive. Having positive (but realistic) expectations can go a long way toward making your later years better and can help you come to terms with aging.
Warnings
If you begin to develop any medical conditions, or have concerns about your health, go and see a doctor. Don't ignore symptoms just to lie awake at night worrying about what might be wrong. It may be something that is easily fixed or dealt with. It is always better to know what you are facing than to fret about it in the dark.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting in the Right Mindset\\n1-1. Have realistic expectations.\\nOur culture encourages people to think they can be young forever if they just use the right creams and take the right supplements. The fact is, this just isn't true. As you enter your later years, try to develop realistic (not pessimistic) expectations of what getting older will actually be like.\\nDon't expect the worst--having a negative view of the future can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Likewise though, don't expect to be able to do everything you did in your 20s. If you have realistic expectations about what you will and will not be able to do, the transition to this period of life will be easier.\\nEven the most youthful 90 year old, for example, usually won't be found skateboarding or deep sea diving. In fact, most people who live to this age will need help with tasks like getting groceries from the store. This doesn't mean, however, that you won't be able to take a stroll in the park with friends or play your favorite instrument.\\n1-2. Try to relax.\\nMany people panic when they realize they are getting older. The result is a \\\"fight or flight\\\" response that causes people to frantically look for a solution, rushing out to buy the latest miracle cure. Try to stay calm and take things in stride.\\nBeing calm allows for more sober reflection on the situation. Thinking clearly allows us to come to terms with reality sooner. This, in turn, makes it possible to start accepting the changes that aging brings and finding happiness in this new stage of life.\\n1-3. Avoid denial.\\nThere's nothing wrong with doing what you can to look and feel your best in later years. However, accepting you are getting older means you shouldn't try to mask or hide your age from others (or yourself).\\nIf putting on a mask of honey and yogurt makes your skin feel better or smoother or slows wrinkling, great. Healthy activities that help you look your best are fine. Don't try to do things to \\\"cover up\\\" your age though. It might be time, for example, to ditch the super-tight cut offs or toupee.\\nClinging to illusions of physical youth keeps us dependent on the validation of others, rather than helping us accept ourselves for who we now are.\\nThink carefully before getting plastic surgery. The jury is out on the extent to which it actually makes people feel more attractive. What is clear is that sometimes when you get work done in one area, it only serves highlight wrinkles in another. This can start you down a path of one procedure after another, after another. Before you get one of these procedures, think about whether this might be the start of a road you don't really want to go down. It is often better to accept yourself for who you are.\\n1-4. Redefine attractiveness.\\nTo extent you are able, try to rethink what attractiveness means, focusing on the whole person rather than a youthful physique. You are never going to look like a 20 year old again, but being attractive in your 40s, 50s, and 60s means something different than it did when you were in your 20s.\\nBeing self-assured and healthy is a different, more mature kind of beauty that you can aspire to. It will give you a sense of self-worth and attractiveness that trying (unsuccessfully) to look like your former self will not achieve.\\nThis may mean you have to argue with your inner voice. Because of the culture we live in, there's probably going to be a voice in your head saying \\\"I look so old\\\" or \\\"I'm getting fat.\\\" Speak up against that inner voice, and counter it with positive statements like \\\"I am healthy and loved.\\\"\\n1-5. Embrace your past, but don't try to relive it.\\nYour past is a huge part of who you are. Reflecting on where you've been can help you become a more mature person, and reflecting on the changes you've gone through before can help you accept the changes you are experiencing now. Trying to relive the past as a way to cling to your youth, however, only delays acceptance of who you are now.\\nA certain amount of nostalgia is inevitable and normal, but resist the temptation to try to recreate the past. For example, if you want to play football again to recapture some of the joy you experienced when you were younger, then keep in mind that you may not be able to play as hard or as long as you used to. You will probably need to start slow and build up your strength and endurance. You may also want to check with your doctor first to ensure that you are healthy enough to play.\\n1-6. Be proud and grateful.\\nThe fact that you are getting older means you survived. Not everyone does. Further, the life experiences you have had have taught you lessons and, hopefully, granted you a wisdom younger people don't have. Be proud of what you have achieved and grateful for your life experience.\\nYour perspective can be an advantage. You may know things about life that many people do not. Reflect on your life and see what lessons you can find there. Think about how you can make this wisdom valuable to others.\\nTry keeping a gratitude journal to help you keep track of all of the things you feel grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or even just telling a loved one about a few things you feel grateful for each day can increase your happiness and well-being. For example, you might note that you feel grateful for your friends, a beautiful sunset, or even just a good cup of coffee. Keep adding items to your list every day and check it from time to time to remind yourself about what makes you feel grateful.\\n2. Staying Active\\n2-1. Keep learning.\\nContinuing to have an active, fulfilling life will make acceptance of your aging easier. Even if you've reached a point where you are physically unable to do a lot of things you might like to do, you can keep learning new things.\\nRead books and watch documentaries. Keep learning things and explore multiple perspectives on the world you live in. Seeing and finding out about new things will keep life interesting and help give you a sense that you haven't seen it all yet.\\nResearch has shown that people who keep learning throughout life are happier and retain their mental capacities better than those who do not. Keep your mind sharp and stay curious. Life will be better, and you'll keep feeling a sense of potential as you age.\\n2-2. Try new things.\\nSimilarly, keep developing new skills. Take up a new hobby. Learn to play an instrument or take a music class. Take up chess. Learn to cook. Doing new things makes life feel more promising and keeps your mind sharp.\\nChallenge yourself mentally. Even doing crosswords or other brain-teaser puzzles can help you maintain your mental facilities and stave off dementia.\\nKnowing that your mind is still sharp and that you can still do new things in life will help you accept the fact that you are aging.\\nLook for weekend classes for hobbies you want to explore.\\n2-3. Keep doing what you're good at.\\nAging isn't all about decline. Experience can mean you've honed certain skills to a level that younger people have not. In addition to trying new things, keep doing things you excel at.\\nYou may be an expert in a certain field of knowledge, or maybe you've developed an artistic talent or technical skill over many years of practice. Such expertise is valuable to others, so keep using it!\\nYou might consider delaying retirement, if your job gives you satisfaction. If you want to retire or already have, you might looking for a way to use your expertise in retired life. Maybe you could teach a class at a local community center, or use your skills in a volunteer capacity. Explore your options.\\n2-4. Stay social.\\nMany older people allow themselves to become isolated and solitary. This doesn't make for a fulfilling life and also can hasten mental decline.\\nTalk often with friends and family. Stay in touch with old friends, and look for opportunities to make new ones.\\nCommunity engagement is a great way to stay social and give your life a sense of value. Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or some other organization doing community service. This will give you a network of people socialize with and a task that feels worth doing.\\n2-5. Find a purpose.\\nHowever you decide to occupy your time, make sure it feels purposeful. Many people, post retirement, find that they feel cast adrift and don't have anything to live for. Find something that gives your life a sense of meaning or value.\\nThis could be volunteering, an artistic pursuit, or finding some way to share your knowledge and perspective with others. Whatever you opt to pursue, having a sense that your life has meaning will make it easier to accept aging.\\nResearch shows that people with a sense of purpose often live longer! Not only will it make it easier for you to accept the stage of life you are in, it may give you some extra years to enjoy, too.\\n3. Staying Healthy\\n3-1. Talk to people who are older than you.\\nFear can have a negative impact on your overall well-being. Familiarizing yourself with aging may help to dispel some of your fears about aging, and talking to people who are older than you is a good way to do this. Spend some time talking with an elderly relative or friend once per week. Ask about their experiences and listen to what they have to share.\\nBy spending time with someone who is older than you, you may start to find it easier to imagine an older version of yourself. Spending time with someone who is older than you may also start to demystify the aging process a bit and make it easier to accept.\\n3-2. Exercise regularly.\\nStaying physically active can make your body and mind feel better and can help promote a longer, healthier life. Staying active means you will be more able to keep doing things that make you happy.\\nIf you aren't physically active now, start small and work your way up. Start with easily achievable goals. Park farther away from the store and walk a little. Take the stairs instead of the elevator if you're only going up a couple of floors. Then, slowly start building more exercise into your routine.\\nStretching and yoga can help you stay flexible and maintain range of motion. This can help you maintain your ability to do other things you enjoy.\\n3-3. Eat a healthy diet.\\nAs you get older, eating the right foods becomes increasingly important in ensuring the good health you need to retain a satisfying quality of life. Pay close attention to what you eat. Specifically:\\nMake sure you get enough protein to help keep your muscles strong.\\nLimit fat intake, and eat healthy fats like those found in fish and avocado.\\nDrink plenty of water.\\nEat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.\\nConsider dietary supplements. Talk to your doctor or a dietician about which one(s) might be most beneficial for you.\\n3-4. Don't smoke.\\nEveryone knows cigarettes are bad for your health. They are bad for your skin and lungs and can cause cancer. Cigarettes have also been linked to faster mental decline in elderly people.\\nIf you already smoke, try to quit. Even if you have smoked for years, quitting may have a positive effect. If you don't smoke, don't start.\\n3-5. Try meditation.\\nDaily meditation can help you deal with physical discomfort that might come with aging, and can also help with the anxiety and depression you might experience if you are struggling to accept aging.\\nTry to clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on your breathing for several minutes. If thoughts begin to creep in, let them pass through your mind and return your focus to your breathing.\\n3-6. See a doctor regularly.\\nTo make sure your health stays good, see your doctor regularly. Catching problems early can help you deal with them before they become serious.\\nBe your own advocate and ask good questions when you go see the doctor. Bring your health history, and be assertive about asking questions about any concerns you may have.\\nIf this stressful for you, remember that it's okay to bring a friend of loved one with you.\\nTips\\nTry to stay positive. Having positive (but realistic) expectations can go a long way toward making your later years better and can help you come to terms with aging.\\nWarnings\\nIf you begin to develop any medical conditions, or have concerns about your health, go and see a doctor. Don't ignore symptoms just to lie awake at night worrying about what might be wrong. It may be something that is easily fixed or dealt with. It is always better to know what you are facing than to fret about it in the dark.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting older is an inevitable part of life. At some point, every person who lives long enough will have to come to terms with the fact that they aren't a young person anymore. Being older has some real advantages, but there are also some aspects of aging that can be hard to accept. As we age our bodies, and for many of us our minds, don't work as well as they used to. These changes don't have to mean that life as you know it is over, however. There are many things you can do to make your later years more enjoyable, and in doing so, make it easier to accept that you are getting older.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting in the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have realistic expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Our culture encourages people to think they can be young forever if they just use the right creams and take the right supplements. The fact is, this just isn't true. As you enter your later years, try to develop realistic (not pessimistic) expectations of what getting older will actually be like.\\nDon't expect the worst--having a negative view of the future can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Likewise though, don't expect to be able to do everything you did in your 20s. If you have realistic expectations about what you will and will not be able to do, the transition to this period of life will be easier.\\nEven the most youthful 90 year old, for example, usually won't be found skateboarding or deep sea diving. In fact, most people who live to this age will need help with tasks like getting groceries from the store. This doesn't mean, however, that you won't be able to take a stroll in the park with friends or play your favorite instrument.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try to relax.\", \"描述\": \"Many people panic when they realize they are getting older. The result is a \\\"fight or flight\\\" response that causes people to frantically look for a solution, rushing out to buy the latest miracle cure. Try to stay calm and take things in stride.\\nBeing calm allows for more sober reflection on the situation. Thinking clearly allows us to come to terms with reality sooner. This, in turn, makes it possible to start accepting the changes that aging brings and finding happiness in this new stage of life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid denial.\", \"描述\": \"There's nothing wrong with doing what you can to look and feel your best in later years. However, accepting you are getting older means you shouldn't try to mask or hide your age from others (or yourself).\\nIf putting on a mask of honey and yogurt makes your skin feel better or smoother or slows wrinkling, great. Healthy activities that help you look your best are fine. Don't try to do things to \\\"cover up\\\" your age though. It might be time, for example, to ditch the super-tight cut offs or toupee.\\nClinging to illusions of physical youth keeps us dependent on the validation of others, rather than helping us accept ourselves for who we now are.\\nThink carefully before getting plastic surgery. The jury is out on the extent to which it actually makes people feel more attractive. What is clear is that sometimes when you get work done in one area, it only serves highlight wrinkles in another. This can start you down a path of one procedure after another, after another. Before you get one of these procedures, think about whether this might be the start of a road you don't really want to go down. It is often better to accept yourself for who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Redefine attractiveness.\", \"描述\": \"To extent you are able, try to rethink what attractiveness means, focusing on the whole person rather than a youthful physique. You are never going to look like a 20 year old again, but being attractive in your 40s, 50s, and 60s means something different than it did when you were in your 20s.\\nBeing self-assured and healthy is a different, more mature kind of beauty that you can aspire to. It will give you a sense of self-worth and attractiveness that trying (unsuccessfully) to look like your former self will not achieve.\\nThis may mean you have to argue with your inner voice. Because of the culture we live in, there's probably going to be a voice in your head saying \\\"I look so old\\\" or \\\"I'm getting fat.\\\" Speak up against that inner voice, and counter it with positive statements like \\\"I am healthy and loved.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Embrace your past, but don't try to relive it.\", \"描述\": \"Your past is a huge part of who you are. Reflecting on where you've been can help you become a more mature person, and reflecting on the changes you've gone through before can help you accept the changes you are experiencing now. Trying to relive the past as a way to cling to your youth, however, only delays acceptance of who you are now.\\nA certain amount of nostalgia is inevitable and normal, but resist the temptation to try to recreate the past. For example, if you want to play football again to recapture some of the joy you experienced when you were younger, then keep in mind that you may not be able to play as hard or as long as you used to. You will probably need to start slow and build up your strength and endurance. You may also want to check with your doctor first to ensure that you are healthy enough to play.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be proud and grateful.\", \"描述\": \"The fact that you are getting older means you survived. Not everyone does. Further, the life experiences you have had have taught you lessons and, hopefully, granted you a wisdom younger people don't have. Be proud of what you have achieved and grateful for your life experience.\\nYour perspective can be an advantage. You may know things about life that many people do not. Reflect on your life and see what lessons you can find there. Think about how you can make this wisdom valuable to others.\\nTry keeping a gratitude journal to help you keep track of all of the things you feel grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or even just telling a loved one about a few things you feel grateful for each day can increase your happiness and well-being. For example, you might note that you feel grateful for your friends, a beautiful sunset, or even just a good cup of coffee. Keep adding items to your list every day and check it from time to time to remind yourself about what makes you feel grateful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Staying Active\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep learning.\", \"描述\": \"Continuing to have an active, fulfilling life will make acceptance of your aging easier. Even if you've reached a point where you are physically unable to do a lot of things you might like to do, you can keep learning new things.\\nRead books and watch documentaries. Keep learning things and explore multiple perspectives on the world you live in. Seeing and finding out about new things will keep life interesting and help give you a sense that you haven't seen it all yet.\\nResearch has shown that people who keep learning throughout life are happier and retain their mental capacities better than those who do not. Keep your mind sharp and stay curious. Life will be better, and you'll keep feeling a sense of potential as you age.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try new things.\", \"描述\": \"Similarly, keep developing new skills. Take up a new hobby. Learn to play an instrument or take a music class. Take up chess. Learn to cook. Doing new things makes life feel more promising and keeps your mind sharp.\\nChallenge yourself mentally. Even doing crosswords or other brain-teaser puzzles can help you maintain your mental facilities and stave off dementia.\\nKnowing that your mind is still sharp and that you can still do new things in life will help you accept the fact that you are aging.\\nLook for weekend classes for hobbies you want to explore.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep doing what you're good at.\", \"描述\": \"Aging isn't all about decline. Experience can mean you've honed certain skills to a level that younger people have not. In addition to trying new things, keep doing things you excel at.\\nYou may be an expert in a certain field of knowledge, or maybe you've developed an artistic talent or technical skill over many years of practice. Such expertise is valuable to others, so keep using it!\\nYou might consider delaying retirement, if your job gives you satisfaction. If you want to retire or already have, you might looking for a way to use your expertise in retired life. Maybe you could teach a class at a local community center, or use your skills in a volunteer capacity. Explore your options.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay social.\", \"描述\": \"Many older people allow themselves to become isolated and solitary. This doesn't make for a fulfilling life and also can hasten mental decline.\\nTalk often with friends and family. Stay in touch with old friends, and look for opportunities to make new ones.\\nCommunity engagement is a great way to stay social and give your life a sense of value. Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen or some other organization doing community service. This will give you a network of people socialize with and a task that feels worth doing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find a purpose.\", \"描述\": \"However you decide to occupy your time, make sure it feels purposeful. Many people, post retirement, find that they feel cast adrift and don't have anything to live for. Find something that gives your life a sense of meaning or value.\\nThis could be volunteering, an artistic pursuit, or finding some way to share your knowledge and perspective with others. Whatever you opt to pursue, having a sense that your life has meaning will make it easier to accept aging.\\nResearch shows that people with a sense of purpose often live longer! Not only will it make it easier for you to accept the stage of life you are in, it may give you some extra years to enjoy, too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Healthy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to people who are older than you.\", \"描述\": \"Fear can have a negative impact on your overall well-being. Familiarizing yourself with aging may help to dispel some of your fears about aging, and talking to people who are older than you is a good way to do this. Spend some time talking with an elderly relative or friend once per week. Ask about their experiences and listen to what they have to share.\\nBy spending time with someone who is older than you, you may start to find it easier to imagine an older version of yourself. Spending time with someone who is older than you may also start to demystify the aging process a bit and make it easier to accept.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exercise regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Staying physically active can make your body and mind feel better and can help promote a longer, healthier life. Staying active means you will be more able to keep doing things that make you happy.\\nIf you aren't physically active now, start small and work your way up. Start with easily achievable goals. Park farther away from the store and walk a little. Take the stairs instead of the elevator if you're only going up a couple of floors. Then, slowly start building more exercise into your routine.\\nStretching and yoga can help you stay flexible and maintain range of motion. This can help you maintain your ability to do other things you enjoy.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Eat a healthy diet.\", \"描述\": \"As you get older, eating the right foods becomes increasingly important in ensuring the good health you need to retain a satisfying quality of life. Pay close attention to what you eat. Specifically:\\nMake sure you get enough protein to help keep your muscles strong.\\nLimit fat intake, and eat healthy fats like those found in fish and avocado.\\nDrink plenty of water.\\nEat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.\\nConsider dietary supplements. Talk to your doctor or a dietician about which one(s) might be most beneficial for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't smoke.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone knows cigarettes are bad for your health. They are bad for your skin and lungs and can cause cancer. Cigarettes have also been linked to faster mental decline in elderly people.\\nIf you already smoke, try to quit. Even if you have smoked for years, quitting may have a positive effect. If you don't smoke, don't start.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Daily meditation can help you deal with physical discomfort that might come with aging, and can also help with the anxiety and depression you might experience if you are struggling to accept aging.\\nTry to clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on your breathing for several minutes. If thoughts begin to creep in, let them pass through your mind and return your focus to your breathing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"See a doctor regularly.\", \"描述\": \"To make sure your health stays good, see your doctor regularly. Catching problems early can help you deal with them before they become serious.\\nBe your own advocate and ask good questions when you go see the doctor. Bring your health history, and be assertive about asking questions about any concerns you may have.\\nIf this stressful for you, remember that it's okay to bring a friend of loved one with you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to stay positive. Having positive (but realistic) expectations can go a long way toward making your later years better and can help you come to terms with aging.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you begin to develop any medical conditions, or have concerns about your health, go and see a doctor. Don't ignore symptoms just to lie awake at night worrying about what might be wrong. It may be something that is easily fixed or dealt with. It is always better to know what you are facing than to fret about it in the dark.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
121 | How to Accept That You Are Gay | 1. Finding Yourself
1-1. Know if you are gay
Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual and romantic orientation along a spectrum. If you find you don't fit easily into one category, don't pick one! Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be.
If you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.
Consider taking an online sexuality quiz, like this one, to see if identifying as gay feels right for you.
1-2. Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex.
Attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye color - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. Or want to or should!
There isn't any need to change yourself - being gay is just another way of simply existing, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.Some people in the world believe that sexual orientation is a choice. If you feel that you indeed made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you.
1-3. Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself.
If you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.
Tell yourself: "I am a person with feelings and intellect and life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy."
1-4. Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes.
Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren't. They share the same interests, goals, and dreams for their lives. Being gay does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don't feel right to you - because you are who you are.
You do not need to fit into the gay community just as much as you don't need to fit into the straight community. These are arbitrary social constructs. Are boys inherently about football and burping? No. Society has told them that that's okay. In 100 years, "gay" will be an entirely different concept. Don't pressure yourself to fit in one way or another.
Be genuine with yourself so you know your values. Knowing what you value will help you choose what’s important to you rather than what society thinks is important. Brainstorm and write down what you value.
2. Dealing with Others
2-1. Do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should "change your ways".
If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that "helping gay people to become heterosexual" is possible. If someone tells you it is, walks the other way.
Treatments to "change" sexual orientation that was common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.
In fact, conversion therapy is slowly getting banned across the US. Homosexuality is not viewed as an illness and in short, it won't be treated as such.
2-2. Remember that you are not alone.
There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members, and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Talking to someone during this difficult time will be incredibly helpful and ground you in realizing millions of others are going through the same thing.
Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around you. Your energy will help them too!
Look for online groups to join, such as The Tribe. Start anonymous if you feel uncomfortable discussing your sexuality.
Read up on other queer people who came before you. Imagine yourself being able to support future young queer folks who come into your life.
2-3. Consider telling your family.
Hopefully, you live in an environment where your family loves you just as you are. If you have a person you are particularly close with, pull them aside and talk to them. Let them know what you're going through. They'll help you form an attack plan on informing everyone and transitioning as smoothly as possible.
If your family would not accept you, it's best to find a mentor that can help you. Do you know anyone who's struggled with this same thing? They'll be able to point you in the right direction and be a sounding board for this time. Talking about it, being able to lean on someone, will be a great resource for your overall happiness and sense of strength.
2-4. Be selective.
The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation, nor do they care (luckily!). It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.
Don't come out to a particular person if it doesn't feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn't "feel right" then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them maybe later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally
2-5. Forgive those who aren't ready to accept you.
Unfortunately, humans can be cruel and closed-minded. Inevitably, there will be people who don't approve of "your lifestyle" and will let you know about it. Instead of wasting your energy on these people, forgive them.
Getting angry will only fuel their fire. To beat them at their own game, you need to stay level-headed, logical, and reasonable. Showing that their actions get to you will only make them happier. If you can't muster forgiveness, muster indifference. They're not even on your radar. You'll feel so much better in the long run!
2-6. Think about your religious beliefs.
There will be people that tell you your sexuality prohibits you from specific religious beliefs or from being loved by God. You are free to believe whatever you want to believe, even if members of the same group don't agree. Faith is a personal relationship with God - it has nothing to do with anyone else.
If you were raised in an environment that frowns on homosexuality, you are not worth any less. The laws in the Bible were mainly for health purposes - shunning homosexuality is right next to not getting tattoos, not eating pork, and not wearing mixed linens, but you can bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those things. Know that how you were raised is just cultural-specific. You are still you and you are good. If you'd like to morph your religious beliefs you're more than welcome to, but you don't have to. Take your time.
3. Gaining Support and Confidence
3-1. Surround yourself with those who care.
Your friends and family love "you," not straight you or gay you, they love you. Your happiness is important to them; it's not selfish to feel as if you're bombarding them with your problems. Talk about it. Use them to lean on. That's what they're there for!
That being said, don't feel obligated to come out to people for this purpose. If you're not ready, you're not ready. There's no harm in that. Your friends and family don't have to know to still be there for you.
3-2. Show people who you are
Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you can live "out," it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others. There are over 7.6 billion people in the world, and you can't please everyone; those who care about you will still love you for who you are.
If someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.
3-3. Develop and express your individuality
If your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it -- you are the one and only you. It takes all kinds -- or this world would be such a boring, monotonous place!
Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.
3-4. Teach acceptance and love through your actions.
You are in a unique position to leave an impression on others. Others, often younger than you, will need guidance. If you can show them there are points of light on the horizon, you can make their progress that much easier.
If you are unaccepting of certain races, religions, or other characteristics, why should others be accepting of you? Your actions need to echo how you want to be treated. Hopefully, others will take a cue from your behaviors. When it comes to love, take every opportunity to pay it forward, whether it's loving yourself or loving someone else.
3-5. Find support.
It's important to find support for your mental health and so you know you're not alone with someone to turn or to talk to. There is support available face-to-face or in cyberspace. If you want to support in person, find friends or people who are LGBT+ or allies. If you are in the USA, there is the Gay-Straight Alliance. If you prefer to stay behind a computer screen, there are many supportive websites for LGBT+ people. There is a Wikipedia list for LGBT+ support.
Tips
It is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.
Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word "roommate" or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don't let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your "friend" or "roommate," then you're allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don't get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:
"Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner" or "Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we've been together for a year now. I'm so glad you finally get to meet her... Andy, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan".
Once your family gets the idea that you aren't about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are "just roommates", or that you and Andy are "just really good friends", they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.
Warnings
If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.
Use good judgment. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don't broadcast this information to your entire community if you live in a small town or an area where LGBT+ people are less likely to be accepted and where you are likely to be harmed physically or emotionally.
If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don't. As long as you know who you are, that's plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a more accepting place.
You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you're in a part of the world where the gay community is being prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your safety, and perhaps even your happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exist to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case, you would want to try to lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Yourself\\n1-1. Know if you are gay\\nSometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual and romantic orientation along a spectrum. If you find you don't fit easily into one category, don't pick one! Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be.\\nIf you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.\\nConsider taking an online sexuality quiz, like this one, to see if identifying as gay feels right for you.\\n1-2. Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex.\\nAttempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye color - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. Or want to or should!\\nThere isn't any need to change yourself - being gay is just another way of simply existing, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.Some people in the world believe that sexual orientation is a choice. If you feel that you indeed made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you.\\n1-3. Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself.\\nIf you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.\\nTell yourself: \\\"I am a person with feelings and intellect and life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy.\\\"\\n1-4. Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes.\\nMost people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren't. They share the same interests, goals, and dreams for their lives. Being gay does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don't feel right to you - because you are who you are.\\nYou do not need to fit into the gay community just as much as you don't need to fit into the straight community. These are arbitrary social constructs. Are boys inherently about football and burping? No. Society has told them that that's okay. In 100 years, \\\"gay\\\" will be an entirely different concept. Don't pressure yourself to fit in one way or another.\\nBe genuine with yourself so you know your values. Knowing what you value will help you choose what’s important to you rather than what society thinks is important. Brainstorm and write down what you value.\\n2. Dealing with Others\\n2-1. Do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should \\\"change your ways\\\".\\nIf anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that \\\"helping gay people to become heterosexual\\\" is possible. If someone tells you it is, walks the other way.\\nTreatments to \\\"change\\\" sexual orientation that was common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.\\nIn fact, conversion therapy is slowly getting banned across the US. Homosexuality is not viewed as an illness and in short, it won't be treated as such.\\n2-2. Remember that you are not alone.\\nThere are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members, and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Talking to someone during this difficult time will be incredibly helpful and ground you in realizing millions of others are going through the same thing.\\nFind a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around you. Your energy will help them too!\\nLook for online groups to join, such as The Tribe. Start anonymous if you feel uncomfortable discussing your sexuality.\\nRead up on other queer people who came before you. Imagine yourself being able to support future young queer folks who come into your life.\\n2-3. Consider telling your family.\\nHopefully, you live in an environment where your family loves you just as you are. If you have a person you are particularly close with, pull them aside and talk to them. Let them know what you're going through. They'll help you form an attack plan on informing everyone and transitioning as smoothly as possible.\\nIf your family would not accept you, it's best to find a mentor that can help you. Do you know anyone who's struggled with this same thing? They'll be able to point you in the right direction and be a sounding board for this time. Talking about it, being able to lean on someone, will be a great resource for your overall happiness and sense of strength.\\n2-4. Be selective.\\nThe entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation, nor do they care (luckily!). It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.\\nDon't come out to a particular person if it doesn't feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn't \\\"feel right\\\" then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them maybe later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally\\n2-5. Forgive those who aren't ready to accept you.\\nUnfortunately, humans can be cruel and closed-minded. Inevitably, there will be people who don't approve of \\\"your lifestyle\\\" and will let you know about it. Instead of wasting your energy on these people, forgive them.\\nGetting angry will only fuel their fire. To beat them at their own game, you need to stay level-headed, logical, and reasonable. Showing that their actions get to you will only make them happier. If you can't muster forgiveness, muster indifference. They're not even on your radar. You'll feel so much better in the long run!\\n2-6. Think about your religious beliefs.\\nThere will be people that tell you your sexuality prohibits you from specific religious beliefs or from being loved by God. You are free to believe whatever you want to believe, even if members of the same group don't agree. Faith is a personal relationship with God - it has nothing to do with anyone else.\\nIf you were raised in an environment that frowns on homosexuality, you are not worth any less. The laws in the Bible were mainly for health purposes - shunning homosexuality is right next to not getting tattoos, not eating pork, and not wearing mixed linens, but you can bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those things. Know that how you were raised is just cultural-specific. You are still you and you are good. If you'd like to morph your religious beliefs you're more than welcome to, but you don't have to. Take your time.\\n3. Gaining Support and Confidence\\n3-1. Surround yourself with those who care.\\nYour friends and family love \\\"you,\\\" not straight you or gay you, they love you. Your happiness is important to them; it's not selfish to feel as if you're bombarding them with your problems. Talk about it. Use them to lean on. That's what they're there for!\\nThat being said, don't feel obligated to come out to people for this purpose. If you're not ready, you're not ready. There's no harm in that. Your friends and family don't have to know to still be there for you.\\n3-2. Show people who you are\\nComing out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you can live \\\"out,\\\" it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others. There are over 7.6 billion people in the world, and you can't please everyone; those who care about you will still love you for who you are.\\nIf someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.\\n3-3. Develop and express your individuality\\nIf your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it -- you are the one and only you. It takes all kinds -- or this world would be such a boring, monotonous place!\\nUnderstand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.\\n3-4. Teach acceptance and love through your actions.\\nYou are in a unique position to leave an impression on others. Others, often younger than you, will need guidance. If you can show them there are points of light on the horizon, you can make their progress that much easier.\\nIf you are unaccepting of certain races, religions, or other characteristics, why should others be accepting of you? Your actions need to echo how you want to be treated. Hopefully, others will take a cue from your behaviors. When it comes to love, take every opportunity to pay it forward, whether it's loving yourself or loving someone else.\\n3-5. Find support.\\nIt's important to find support for your mental health and so you know you're not alone with someone to turn or to talk to. There is support available face-to-face or in cyberspace. If you want to support in person, find friends or people who are LGBT+ or allies. If you are in the USA, there is the Gay-Straight Alliance. If you prefer to stay behind a computer screen, there are many supportive websites for LGBT+ people. There is a Wikipedia list for LGBT+ support.\\nTips\\nIt is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.\\nDon't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.\\nIf you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word \\\"roommate\\\" or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don't let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your \\\"friend\\\" or \\\"roommate,\\\" then you're allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don't get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:\\n\\n\\\"Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner\\\" or \\\"Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we've been together for a year now. I'm so glad you finally get to meet her... Andy, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan\\\".\\nOnce your family gets the idea that you aren't about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are \\\"just roommates\\\", or that you and Andy are \\\"just really good friends\\\", they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.\\nUse good judgment. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don't broadcast this information to your entire community if you live in a small town or an area where LGBT+ people are less likely to be accepted and where you are likely to be harmed physically or emotionally.\\nIf it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don't. As long as you know who you are, that's plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a more accepting place.\\nYou may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you're in a part of the world where the gay community is being prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your safety, and perhaps even your happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exist to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case, you would want to try to lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are LGBTQ but struggle with accepting that fact, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - in the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful relationship. Some people have difficulty accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBTQ+ community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of non-heterosexual attraction, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know if you are gay\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual and romantic orientation along a spectrum. If you find you don't fit easily into one category, don't pick one! Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be.\\nIf you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.\\nConsider taking an online sexuality quiz, like this one, to see if identifying as gay feels right for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex.\", \"描述\": \"Attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye color - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. Or want to or should!\\nThere isn't any need to change yourself - being gay is just another way of simply existing, and there is nothing wrong with it at all. Neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.Some people in the world believe that sexual orientation is a choice. If you feel that you indeed made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise.\\nTell yourself: \\\"I am a person with feelings and intellect and life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren't. They share the same interests, goals, and dreams for their lives. Being gay does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don't feel right to you - because you are who you are.\\nYou do not need to fit into the gay community just as much as you don't need to fit into the straight community. These are arbitrary social constructs. Are boys inherently about football and burping? No. Society has told them that that's okay. In 100 years, \\\"gay\\\" will be an entirely different concept. Don't pressure yourself to fit in one way or another.\\nBe genuine with yourself so you know your values. Knowing what you value will help you choose what’s important to you rather than what society thinks is important. Brainstorm and write down what you value.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should \\\"change your ways\\\".\", \"描述\": \"If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that \\\"helping gay people to become heterosexual\\\" is possible. If someone tells you it is, walks the other way.\\nTreatments to \\\"change\\\" sexual orientation that was common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.\\nIn fact, conversion therapy is slowly getting banned across the US. Homosexuality is not viewed as an illness and in short, it won't be treated as such.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are not alone.\", \"描述\": \"There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members, and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Talking to someone during this difficult time will be incredibly helpful and ground you in realizing millions of others are going through the same thing.\\nFind a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around you. Your energy will help them too!\\nLook for online groups to join, such as The Tribe. Start anonymous if you feel uncomfortable discussing your sexuality.\\nRead up on other queer people who came before you. Imagine yourself being able to support future young queer folks who come into your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider telling your family.\", \"描述\": \"Hopefully, you live in an environment where your family loves you just as you are. If you have a person you are particularly close with, pull them aside and talk to them. Let them know what you're going through. They'll help you form an attack plan on informing everyone and transitioning as smoothly as possible.\\nIf your family would not accept you, it's best to find a mentor that can help you. Do you know anyone who's struggled with this same thing? They'll be able to point you in the right direction and be a sounding board for this time. Talking about it, being able to lean on someone, will be a great resource for your overall happiness and sense of strength.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be selective.\", \"描述\": \"The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation, nor do they care (luckily!). It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.\\nDon't come out to a particular person if it doesn't feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn't \\\"feel right\\\" then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them maybe later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Forgive those who aren't ready to accept you.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, humans can be cruel and closed-minded. Inevitably, there will be people who don't approve of \\\"your lifestyle\\\" and will let you know about it. Instead of wasting your energy on these people, forgive them.\\nGetting angry will only fuel their fire. To beat them at their own game, you need to stay level-headed, logical, and reasonable. Showing that their actions get to you will only make them happier. If you can't muster forgiveness, muster indifference. They're not even on your radar. You'll feel so much better in the long run!\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Think about your religious beliefs.\", \"描述\": \"There will be people that tell you your sexuality prohibits you from specific religious beliefs or from being loved by God. You are free to believe whatever you want to believe, even if members of the same group don't agree. Faith is a personal relationship with God - it has nothing to do with anyone else.\\nIf you were raised in an environment that frowns on homosexuality, you are not worth any less. The laws in the Bible were mainly for health purposes - shunning homosexuality is right next to not getting tattoos, not eating pork, and not wearing mixed linens, but you can bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those things. Know that how you were raised is just cultural-specific. You are still you and you are good. If you'd like to morph your religious beliefs you're more than welcome to, but you don't have to. Take your time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gaining Support and Confidence\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with those who care.\", \"描述\": \"Your friends and family love \\\"you,\\\" not straight you or gay you, they love you. Your happiness is important to them; it's not selfish to feel as if you're bombarding them with your problems. Talk about it. Use them to lean on. That's what they're there for!\\nThat being said, don't feel obligated to come out to people for this purpose. If you're not ready, you're not ready. There's no harm in that. Your friends and family don't have to know to still be there for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show people who you are\", \"描述\": \"Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you can live \\\"out,\\\" it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others. There are over 7.6 billion people in the world, and you can't please everyone; those who care about you will still love you for who you are.\\nIf someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Develop and express your individuality\", \"描述\": \"If your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it -- you are the one and only you. It takes all kinds -- or this world would be such a boring, monotonous place!\\nUnderstand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Teach acceptance and love through your actions.\", \"描述\": \"You are in a unique position to leave an impression on others. Others, often younger than you, will need guidance. If you can show them there are points of light on the horizon, you can make their progress that much easier.\\nIf you are unaccepting of certain races, religions, or other characteristics, why should others be accepting of you? Your actions need to echo how you want to be treated. Hopefully, others will take a cue from your behaviors. When it comes to love, take every opportunity to pay it forward, whether it's loving yourself or loving someone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find support.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to find support for your mental health and so you know you're not alone with someone to turn or to talk to. There is support available face-to-face or in cyberspace. If you want to support in person, find friends or people who are LGBT+ or allies. If you are in the USA, there is the Gay-Straight Alliance. If you prefer to stay behind a computer screen, there are many supportive websites for LGBT+ people. There is a Wikipedia list for LGBT+ support.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.\\n\", \"Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.\\n\", \"If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word \\\"roommate\\\" or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don't let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your \\\"friend\\\" or \\\"roommate,\\\" then you're allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don't get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:\\n\\n\\\"Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner\\\" or \\\"Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we've been together for a year now. I'm so glad you finally get to meet her... Andy, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan\\\".\\nOnce your family gets the idea that you aren't about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are \\\"just roommates\\\", or that you and Andy are \\\"just really good friends\\\", they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.\\n\", \"Use good judgment. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don't broadcast this information to your entire community if you live in a small town or an area where LGBT+ people are less likely to be accepted and where you are likely to be harmed physically or emotionally.\\n\", \"If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don't. As long as you know who you are, that's plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a more accepting place.\\n\", \"You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you're in a part of the world where the gay community is being prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your safety, and perhaps even your happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exist to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case, you would want to try to lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
122 | How to Accept That You Don't Make Friends Easily | 1. Changing Your Self-Perception
1-1. Stop beating yourself up.
Worrying about your social life won’t change anything, so try to relax. Think positively instead of punishing yourself with negative thoughts. You’ll have an easier time attracting friends if you’re kind to yourself.
For instance, stop telling yourself things like, “I can’t talk to people.” Replace those thoughts with something like, “It’s OK to feel nervous around new people sometimes.”
1-2. Realize that not everyone has to like you.
You can’t please everybody, and if you try, you might lose what makes you uniquely likable. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. It just means you weren’t a good fit for each other.
1-3. Look at the friendships you see around you.
It might seem like everyone you know has a happy, thriving social life – but look again. Plenty of friendships aren’t as healthy as they seem on the surface. When you notice the imperfections in other people’s relationships, you’ll be less likely to hold yourself to an impossible social standard.
For instance, some friendships are based on convenience instead of mutual liking. In other friendships, one person is using the other for attention, popularity, or money.
1-4. Be aware that not everyone is naturally social.
Some people are more extroverted, meaning they get energy from being around others and tend to be loud and outgoing. Other people are more introverted, meaning they like to spend time alone and may find extensive social interaction exhausting and possibly difficult. Society tends to praise extraversion, so you might feel that something's wrong with you if you’re a little more introverted. However, you should recognize that many people are introverts, and introverts have value, too!
Introverted people tend to be reflective, creative, and value deep relationships. Introverts can still be social and charming, just in a different way. They may prefer quieter, more intimate discussions, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Keep in mind that personality is a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere between extraversion and introversion.
It’s also important to realize that many friendly, outgoing people weren’t born that way. Plenty of people have improved their social skills through practice, and you can do the same if you want to.
1-5. Decide whether you want to change.
Ask yourself whether you’re happy the way you are. Maybe you value friend quality over friend quantity. If so, there’s no need to change anything, no matter what other people might say. If you do decide you want to change, that’s okay too – just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not to please others.
Many shy or introverted people feel perfectly content with a small circle of friends. Not everyone has to be outgoing and chatty.
2. Evaluating Your Personality
2-1. Make a list of your positive traits.
Build your confidence by writing down the personal qualities you’re proud of. Keep these traits in mind when you start to feel critical of yourself or shy around other people.
If you want to make more friends, think about your qualities that make you a good friend. For instance, maybe you’re compassionate, accepting, and trustworthy.
2-2. Spot what's getting in the way of you making friends.
Be honest with yourself and think about what goes wrong when you try to make friends. It’s not much fun to analyze your flaws, but once you know why making friends is hard for you, you’ll be able to change your behavior.
A few common issues that make it hard to find friends include shyness, social anxiety, complaining a lot, and expecting too much from new acquaintances.
If you’re not sure why you struggle to make friends, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Make sure you’re prepared to hear the answer, though.
2-3. Turn weaknesses into strengths.
Instead of trying to get rid of your flaws, look for ways to turn them around. Using these traits to your advantage is usually easier than trying to change your whole personality.
If you’re not very talkative, for instance, you could practice being a more active listener, so people feel comfortable opening up to you.
2-4. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Become more secure in yourself by getting comfortable with spending time alone. Pick up some solo hobbies that you look forward to doing on a regular basis. During quiet moments, take the opportunity to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and hopes for the future.
When you’re comfortable being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself no matter how many friends you have. You’ll also be less likely to rush into unhealthy friendships just for the sake of having friends.
3. Building a Social Life
3-1. Be friendly and positive.
Put a smile on your face when you go out, even if you feel nervous. Treat other people with courtesy and thoughtfulness. Instead of complaining, put a positive spin on your comments. Other people will like being around you if you’re upbeat and happy.
3-2. Get involved in activities you enjoy.
If you’re shy about meeting new people, start by getting out of the house and doing things you like. Breaking the ice with someone new is easier when you can connect over an activity or a shared interest.
For instance, you could join a group related to one of your hobbies, volunteer for a cause you care about, or sign up for a competition.
3-3. Rely on the people around you for support.
You may already have a stronger support network than you realize. People like parents, teachers, coaches, and siblings can support and inspire you as you build up your strengths. Make time for the people you care about, and don’t be too shy to ask for help and advice when you need it.
3-4. Choose your friends carefully.
Don’t rush to befriend people you just met. Get to know people slowly, and invest your time and energy into those who care about you and treat you well. It’s better to have one close, trustworthy friend than it is to have many shallow friendships.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Changing Your Self-Perception\\n1-1. Stop beating yourself up.\\nWorrying about your social life won’t change anything, so try to relax. Think positively instead of punishing yourself with negative thoughts. You’ll have an easier time attracting friends if you’re kind to yourself.\\nFor instance, stop telling yourself things like, “I can’t talk to people.” Replace those thoughts with something like, “It’s OK to feel nervous around new people sometimes.”\\n1-2. Realize that not everyone has to like you.\\nYou can’t please everybody, and if you try, you might lose what makes you uniquely likable. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. It just means you weren’t a good fit for each other.\\n1-3. Look at the friendships you see around you.\\nIt might seem like everyone you know has a happy, thriving social life – but look again. Plenty of friendships aren’t as healthy as they seem on the surface. When you notice the imperfections in other people’s relationships, you’ll be less likely to hold yourself to an impossible social standard.\\nFor instance, some friendships are based on convenience instead of mutual liking. In other friendships, one person is using the other for attention, popularity, or money.\\n1-4. Be aware that not everyone is naturally social.\\nSome people are more extroverted, meaning they get energy from being around others and tend to be loud and outgoing. Other people are more introverted, meaning they like to spend time alone and may find extensive social interaction exhausting and possibly difficult. Society tends to praise extraversion, so you might feel that something's wrong with you if you’re a little more introverted. However, you should recognize that many people are introverts, and introverts have value, too!\\nIntroverted people tend to be reflective, creative, and value deep relationships. Introverts can still be social and charming, just in a different way. They may prefer quieter, more intimate discussions, and there’s nothing wrong with that.\\nKeep in mind that personality is a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere between extraversion and introversion.\\nIt’s also important to realize that many friendly, outgoing people weren’t born that way. Plenty of people have improved their social skills through practice, and you can do the same if you want to.\\n1-5. Decide whether you want to change.\\nAsk yourself whether you’re happy the way you are. Maybe you value friend quality over friend quantity. If so, there’s no need to change anything, no matter what other people might say. If you do decide you want to change, that’s okay too – just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not to please others.\\nMany shy or introverted people feel perfectly content with a small circle of friends. Not everyone has to be outgoing and chatty.\\n2. Evaluating Your Personality\\n2-1. Make a list of your positive traits.\\nBuild your confidence by writing down the personal qualities you’re proud of. Keep these traits in mind when you start to feel critical of yourself or shy around other people.\\nIf you want to make more friends, think about your qualities that make you a good friend. For instance, maybe you’re compassionate, accepting, and trustworthy.\\n2-2. Spot what's getting in the way of you making friends.\\nBe honest with yourself and think about what goes wrong when you try to make friends. It’s not much fun to analyze your flaws, but once you know why making friends is hard for you, you’ll be able to change your behavior.\\nA few common issues that make it hard to find friends include shyness, social anxiety, complaining a lot, and expecting too much from new acquaintances.\\nIf you’re not sure why you struggle to make friends, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Make sure you’re prepared to hear the answer, though.\\n2-3. Turn weaknesses into strengths.\\nInstead of trying to get rid of your flaws, look for ways to turn them around. Using these traits to your advantage is usually easier than trying to change your whole personality.\\nIf you’re not very talkative, for instance, you could practice being a more active listener, so people feel comfortable opening up to you.\\n2-4. Learn to enjoy your own company.\\nBecome more secure in yourself by getting comfortable with spending time alone. Pick up some solo hobbies that you look forward to doing on a regular basis. During quiet moments, take the opportunity to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and hopes for the future.\\nWhen you’re comfortable being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself no matter how many friends you have. You’ll also be less likely to rush into unhealthy friendships just for the sake of having friends.\\n3. Building a Social Life\\n3-1. Be friendly and positive.\\nPut a smile on your face when you go out, even if you feel nervous. Treat other people with courtesy and thoughtfulness. Instead of complaining, put a positive spin on your comments. Other people will like being around you if you’re upbeat and happy.\\n3-2. Get involved in activities you enjoy.\\nIf you’re shy about meeting new people, start by getting out of the house and doing things you like. Breaking the ice with someone new is easier when you can connect over an activity or a shared interest.\\nFor instance, you could join a group related to one of your hobbies, volunteer for a cause you care about, or sign up for a competition.\\n3-3. Rely on the people around you for support.\\nYou may already have a stronger support network than you realize. People like parents, teachers, coaches, and siblings can support and inspire you as you build up your strengths. Make time for the people you care about, and don’t be too shy to ask for help and advice when you need it.\\n3-4. Choose your friends carefully.\\nDon’t rush to befriend people you just met. Get to know people slowly, and invest your time and energy into those who care about you and treat you well. It’s better to have one close, trustworthy friend than it is to have many shallow friendships.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re struggling with the fact that you don’t make friends easily, accepting the situation can make it easier to cope – and to change for the better. You might even realize you’re happy with your personality and your social circle just the way they are. Become more accepting of yourself by shifting your self-perception, finding ways to make your natural personality work for you, and building a social life you enjoy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Changing Your Self-Perception\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop beating yourself up.\", \"描述\": \"Worrying about your social life won’t change anything, so try to relax. Think positively instead of punishing yourself with negative thoughts. You’ll have an easier time attracting friends if you’re kind to yourself.\\nFor instance, stop telling yourself things like, “I can’t talk to people.” Replace those thoughts with something like, “It’s OK to feel nervous around new people sometimes.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Realize that not everyone has to like you.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t please everybody, and if you try, you might lose what makes you uniquely likable. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you. It just means you weren’t a good fit for each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look at the friendships you see around you.\", \"描述\": \"It might seem like everyone you know has a happy, thriving social life – but look again. Plenty of friendships aren’t as healthy as they seem on the surface. When you notice the imperfections in other people’s relationships, you’ll be less likely to hold yourself to an impossible social standard.\\nFor instance, some friendships are based on convenience instead of mutual liking. In other friendships, one person is using the other for attention, popularity, or money.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be aware that not everyone is naturally social.\", \"描述\": \"Some people are more extroverted, meaning they get energy from being around others and tend to be loud and outgoing. Other people are more introverted, meaning they like to spend time alone and may find extensive social interaction exhausting and possibly difficult. Society tends to praise extraversion, so you might feel that something's wrong with you if you’re a little more introverted. However, you should recognize that many people are introverts, and introverts have value, too!\\nIntroverted people tend to be reflective, creative, and value deep relationships. Introverts can still be social and charming, just in a different way. They may prefer quieter, more intimate discussions, and there’s nothing wrong with that.\\nKeep in mind that personality is a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere between extraversion and introversion.\\nIt’s also important to realize that many friendly, outgoing people weren’t born that way. Plenty of people have improved their social skills through practice, and you can do the same if you want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide whether you want to change.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself whether you’re happy the way you are. Maybe you value friend quality over friend quantity. If so, there’s no need to change anything, no matter what other people might say. If you do decide you want to change, that’s okay too – just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not to please others.\\nMany shy or introverted people feel perfectly content with a small circle of friends. Not everyone has to be outgoing and chatty.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Your Personality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your positive traits.\", \"描述\": \"Build your confidence by writing down the personal qualities you’re proud of. Keep these traits in mind when you start to feel critical of yourself or shy around other people.\\nIf you want to make more friends, think about your qualities that make you a good friend. For instance, maybe you’re compassionate, accepting, and trustworthy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Spot what's getting in the way of you making friends.\", \"描述\": \"Be honest with yourself and think about what goes wrong when you try to make friends. It’s not much fun to analyze your flaws, but once you know why making friends is hard for you, you’ll be able to change your behavior.\\nA few common issues that make it hard to find friends include shyness, social anxiety, complaining a lot, and expecting too much from new acquaintances.\\nIf you’re not sure why you struggle to make friends, ask someone you trust for their perspective. Make sure you’re prepared to hear the answer, though.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn weaknesses into strengths.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of trying to get rid of your flaws, look for ways to turn them around. Using these traits to your advantage is usually easier than trying to change your whole personality.\\nIf you’re not very talkative, for instance, you could practice being a more active listener, so people feel comfortable opening up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learn to enjoy your own company.\", \"描述\": \"Become more secure in yourself by getting comfortable with spending time alone. Pick up some solo hobbies that you look forward to doing on a regular basis. During quiet moments, take the opportunity to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and hopes for the future.\\nWhen you’re comfortable being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself no matter how many friends you have. You’ll also be less likely to rush into unhealthy friendships just for the sake of having friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Building a Social Life\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friendly and positive.\", \"描述\": \"Put a smile on your face when you go out, even if you feel nervous. Treat other people with courtesy and thoughtfulness. Instead of complaining, put a positive spin on your comments. Other people will like being around you if you’re upbeat and happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get involved in activities you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re shy about meeting new people, start by getting out of the house and doing things you like. Breaking the ice with someone new is easier when you can connect over an activity or a shared interest.\\nFor instance, you could join a group related to one of your hobbies, volunteer for a cause you care about, or sign up for a competition.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rely on the people around you for support.\", \"描述\": \"You may already have a stronger support network than you realize. People like parents, teachers, coaches, and siblings can support and inspire you as you build up your strengths. Make time for the people you care about, and don’t be too shy to ask for help and advice when you need it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Choose your friends carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t rush to befriend people you just met. Get to know people slowly, and invest your time and energy into those who care about you and treat you well. It’s better to have one close, trustworthy friend than it is to have many shallow friendships.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
123 | How to Accept That You Have No Sense of Humor: Tips to Build Your Sense of Humor and More | 1. Take a relaxed approach to humor.
Finding humor in things is difficult if you’re treating this as a job.
Get in the mindset that you’re setting out on a fun, new adventure, not trying to fix something. After all, there is nothing wrong with you that needs fixing! If you make this a huge deal or you judge yourself every time things don’t work out, you’re going to make it harder to laugh at things.
One of two things is going to happen here. Either you relax on your mission to become funnier and it works, or your relax, it doesn’t work out, and you have an easier time accepting it. It’s a win-win!
Humor is innate in the sense that everybody is born with the ability to find things funny. At the same time, humor can also be learned. Even if you don’t have a sense of humor now, you can 100% acquire one.
2. Recognize and respect the humor you do have.
You likely have a sense of humor, it just might not be what you imagine!
There are so many different types of humor out there. It’s possible that you do have a sense of humor and it simply isn’t like everyone else’s. Types of humor include:
– The ability to form clever or intelligent connections (“They’re the kind of person who has never used a word that might cause you to pick up a dictionary.”)
– Humor based on extremely emotionless statements and ideas (“I don’t know if you know what that word ‘complicated’ means, but it’s very simple.”)
– Mockery that relies on exaggeration and irony (“They have a great vocabulary. Well, they may not know that word.”)
– Comedy based on physical action, and often called slapstick (“You ever read one of these?” holds up dictionary)
– Comedy that treats taboo or serious subjects with levity (“They have the vocabulary of my grief counselor. And my grief counselor is dead.”)
– Humor based on making fun of yourself (“I have no vocabulary, so I read the thesaurus. Now I’m smart, clever, intelligent, and academic.”
– Humor based on turns of phrase have two meanings (“You should thank me for adding ‘plethora’ to your vocabulary. I’m sure it means a lot.”)
– Random, quirky, or nonsensical comedy (“You won’t find the word frumplous in the dictionary. Know why? It doesn’t exist.”)
Identifying what makes you laugh helps provide a roadmap to what your body naturally finds humorous.
3. Hang out with funny people.
The best way to develop humor is to immerse yourself in it.
If you’ve got friends, family members, or acquaintances who are always laughing it up, spend more time with them. Not only will you foster your relationships by spending more time socializing, but you’re going to naturally cultivate a deeper appreciation for humor.
This can take time, so try not to get frustrated if you feel like you aren’t picking up on things super quickly.
4. Watch more comedy.
If you never watch comedic films or TV shows, start now.
The people who craft comedic material for a living are masters of their craft. If you feel like you just don’t “get” humor but you don’t consume a lot of it, get into the habit. It’s possible that you just haven’t found the right brand of humor for you, but you may if you explore some new material.
Watch popular comedic films and TV shows.
If you’ve never watched standup comedy, give it a shot!
Scan the trending tab on Youtube and look at what comedic videos people are watching.
Some people simply prefer more literary comedy. Try reading the Sunday comics or browsing webcomics.
It really helps to look up all the different styles of comedy out there. Understanding what exists and why it exists can help open up the reasoning behind why it's funny (or why it isn't).
5. Explore new cultures.
Different communities have their own distinct forms of humor.
If you feel like the “mainstream” forms of comedy aren’t for you, try immersing yourself in a different community. You might watch comedies made by people from other countries, or hang out with the foreign exchange students at your school to discover what they find humorous.
Just surrounding yourself with people from different backgrounds can help dramatically. You’ll improve your sense of humor over time.
6. Embrace your inner child.
Stop taking yourself super seriously and just enjoy playing.
Whether it’s playing video games, skipping down the street, or frolicking in a rainstorm, tap into your best impression of a 6-year-old. Remember what it was like to find the world engaging, new, and strange. It’s a lot easier to find humor in things if you allow yourself to play like you did you when you were little.
Revisit your favorite childhood games and interests. Play with modeling clay, mess around with a yo-yo, or break out your old board games and grab some friends.
Embracing silliness and getting back in touch with your inner child can make it easier to loosen up and find the humor in things.
Adults are socially conditioned to not be silly, goofy, or funny. If you can let go of those expectations for yourself, you can tap into your inner-funny and discover what your sense of humor truly is.
7. Get in the habit of laughing every day.
Even if you don’t find something funny, force yourself to laugh.
Some people naturally struggle with letting go and actually laughing because they’re self-conscious. Forcing yourself to laugh—even if you’re alone or don’t find anything funny—can be a great way of “exercising” your laughing muscles. Eventually, laughing will be as natural as breathing for you!
Laughter is medicine to the soul, and laughing often triggers more laughing. Try letting yourself laugh out loud at slightly funny things and you may discover the real humor!
8. Take cues from people around you.
When other people laugh, try to get into the spirit of things.
When other people start smiling and getting ready to laugh, lean into it and try to find the joy and humor in whatever triggered the moment. Try laughing along, even if it wasn’t that funny. You may just find yourself learning to open up and find the funny in things.
If you don’t get what was so funny, ask! There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t get it.”
9. Remember a few simple jokes.
Memorize a few canned jokes so you can be funny when necessary.
If you feel like your sense of humor has a negative impact on your social interactions, just find a few really good, simple jokes and commit them to memory. They don’t have to be original. Then, whenever you’re in a situation that calls for a joke, you can deliver your lines with ease! You could try:
“I was going to wear my frog sandals today, but I was told this event had a policy against anything open-toad.”
“What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.”
“You know what kids these days play when their mom won’t let them use the phone? Bored games.”
“There are two types of people out there. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data, and…”
10. Practice.
Your humor is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.
Take risks in social situations and try to make people laugh. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? If you aren’t ready to test things out in public, try cracking jokes with your parents, roommates, or siblings. See what works and what doesn’t. You’ll eventually find the right vibe for you.
Don’t give up. As frustrating as this may be, everybody has the ability to make progress and find their personal brand of humor.
If your partner doesn’t understand your sense of humor, try different kinds of jokes and wisecracks out until you find something they laugh at. Then, lean into more jokes in that style.
11. Let go and learn to laugh at yourself.
Try not to take yourself so seriously to find the humor in things.
Being able to laugh at yourself and see the funnier side of things can be difficult if you treat everything you do super seriously. Try practicing laughing at yourself when you are alone. Just as you might laugh at someone if they make a silly mistake or trip, try laughing at yourself when those occur.
For example, if you trip in front of someone and they laugh, don’t get embarrassed. Instead, hop back up and bow like you’ve just performed a beautiful dismount.
12. Accept who you are.
Learn to love and own who you are regardless of your humor.
So what if you aren’t the funniest person in the world? You are not defined by your ability to laugh, make people laugh, or understand why people laugh. Regardless of however you feel about your sense of humor, it shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself.
Remember, you are valid and you are no less interesting or valuable just because you don’t think you have a sense of humor.
13. Try to find the comedy in your partner’s sense of humor.
If you and your partner aren’t on the same comedic wavelength, don’t fight it.
Laugh at how silly it is when your partner laughs at something you find totally mundane, and don’t take it personally if they think you’re goofy for laughing at something they find unfunny. By appreciating one another and learning to laugh at yourselves, the different senses of humor won’t seem all that different.
Rest assured that matching senses of humor actually aren't essential for a healthy, happy relationship.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Take a relaxed approach to humor.\\nFinding humor in things is difficult if you’re treating this as a job.\\nGet in the mindset that you’re setting out on a fun, new adventure, not trying to fix something. After all, there is nothing wrong with you that needs fixing! If you make this a huge deal or you judge yourself every time things don’t work out, you’re going to make it harder to laugh at things.\\nOne of two things is going to happen here. Either you relax on your mission to become funnier and it works, or your relax, it doesn’t work out, and you have an easier time accepting it. It’s a win-win!\\nHumor is innate in the sense that everybody is born with the ability to find things funny. At the same time, humor can also be learned. Even if you don’t have a sense of humor now, you can 100% acquire one.\\n2. Recognize and respect the humor you do have.\\nYou likely have a sense of humor, it just might not be what you imagine!\\nThere are so many different types of humor out there. It’s possible that you do have a sense of humor and it simply isn’t like everyone else’s. Types of humor include:\\n\\n – The ability to form clever or intelligent connections (“They’re the kind of person who has never used a word that might cause you to pick up a dictionary.”)\\n – Humor based on extremely emotionless statements and ideas (“I don’t know if you know what that word ‘complicated’ means, but it’s very simple.”)\\n – Mockery that relies on exaggeration and irony (“They have a great vocabulary. Well, they may not know that word.”)\\n – Comedy based on physical action, and often called slapstick (“You ever read one of these?” holds up dictionary)\\n – Comedy that treats taboo or serious subjects with levity (“They have the vocabulary of my grief counselor. And my grief counselor is dead.”)\\n – Humor based on making fun of yourself (“I have no vocabulary, so I read the thesaurus. Now I’m smart, clever, intelligent, and academic.”\\n – Humor based on turns of phrase have two meanings (“You should thank me for adding ‘plethora’ to your vocabulary. I’m sure it means a lot.”)\\n – Random, quirky, or nonsensical comedy (“You won’t find the word frumplous in the dictionary. Know why? It doesn’t exist.”)\\nIdentifying what makes you laugh helps provide a roadmap to what your body naturally finds humorous.\\n3. Hang out with funny people.\\nThe best way to develop humor is to immerse yourself in it.\\nIf you’ve got friends, family members, or acquaintances who are always laughing it up, spend more time with them. Not only will you foster your relationships by spending more time socializing, but you’re going to naturally cultivate a deeper appreciation for humor.\\nThis can take time, so try not to get frustrated if you feel like you aren’t picking up on things super quickly.\\n4. Watch more comedy.\\nIf you never watch comedic films or TV shows, start now.\\nThe people who craft comedic material for a living are masters of their craft. If you feel like you just don’t “get” humor but you don’t consume a lot of it, get into the habit. It’s possible that you just haven’t found the right brand of humor for you, but you may if you explore some new material.\\nWatch popular comedic films and TV shows.\\nIf you’ve never watched standup comedy, give it a shot!\\nScan the trending tab on Youtube and look at what comedic videos people are watching.\\nSome people simply prefer more literary comedy. Try reading the Sunday comics or browsing webcomics.\\nIt really helps to look up all the different styles of comedy out there. Understanding what exists and why it exists can help open up the reasoning behind why it's funny (or why it isn't).\\n5. Explore new cultures.\\nDifferent communities have their own distinct forms of humor.\\nIf you feel like the “mainstream” forms of comedy aren’t for you, try immersing yourself in a different community. You might watch comedies made by people from other countries, or hang out with the foreign exchange students at your school to discover what they find humorous.\\nJust surrounding yourself with people from different backgrounds can help dramatically. You’ll improve your sense of humor over time.\\n6. Embrace your inner child.\\nStop taking yourself super seriously and just enjoy playing.\\nWhether it’s playing video games, skipping down the street, or frolicking in a rainstorm, tap into your best impression of a 6-year-old. Remember what it was like to find the world engaging, new, and strange. It’s a lot easier to find humor in things if you allow yourself to play like you did you when you were little.\\nRevisit your favorite childhood games and interests. Play with modeling clay, mess around with a yo-yo, or break out your old board games and grab some friends.\\nEmbracing silliness and getting back in touch with your inner child can make it easier to loosen up and find the humor in things.\\nAdults are socially conditioned to not be silly, goofy, or funny. If you can let go of those expectations for yourself, you can tap into your inner-funny and discover what your sense of humor truly is.\\n7. Get in the habit of laughing every day.\\nEven if you don’t find something funny, force yourself to laugh.\\nSome people naturally struggle with letting go and actually laughing because they’re self-conscious. Forcing yourself to laugh—even if you’re alone or don’t find anything funny—can be a great way of “exercising” your laughing muscles. Eventually, laughing will be as natural as breathing for you!\\nLaughter is medicine to the soul, and laughing often triggers more laughing. Try letting yourself laugh out loud at slightly funny things and you may discover the real humor!\\n8. Take cues from people around you.\\nWhen other people laugh, try to get into the spirit of things.\\nWhen other people start smiling and getting ready to laugh, lean into it and try to find the joy and humor in whatever triggered the moment. Try laughing along, even if it wasn’t that funny. You may just find yourself learning to open up and find the funny in things.\\nIf you don’t get what was so funny, ask! There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t get it.”\\n9. Remember a few simple jokes.\\nMemorize a few canned jokes so you can be funny when necessary.\\nIf you feel like your sense of humor has a negative impact on your social interactions, just find a few really good, simple jokes and commit them to memory. They don’t have to be original. Then, whenever you’re in a situation that calls for a joke, you can deliver your lines with ease! You could try:\\n“I was going to wear my frog sandals today, but I was told this event had a policy against anything open-toad.”\\n“What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.”\\n“You know what kids these days play when their mom won’t let them use the phone? Bored games.”\\n“There are two types of people out there. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data, and…”\\n10. Practice.\\nYour humor is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.\\nTake risks in social situations and try to make people laugh. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? If you aren’t ready to test things out in public, try cracking jokes with your parents, roommates, or siblings. See what works and what doesn’t. You’ll eventually find the right vibe for you.\\nDon’t give up. As frustrating as this may be, everybody has the ability to make progress and find their personal brand of humor.\\nIf your partner doesn’t understand your sense of humor, try different kinds of jokes and wisecracks out until you find something they laugh at. Then, lean into more jokes in that style.\\n11. Let go and learn to laugh at yourself.\\nTry not to take yourself so seriously to find the humor in things.\\nBeing able to laugh at yourself and see the funnier side of things can be difficult if you treat everything you do super seriously. Try practicing laughing at yourself when you are alone. Just as you might laugh at someone if they make a silly mistake or trip, try laughing at yourself when those occur.\\nFor example, if you trip in front of someone and they laugh, don’t get embarrassed. Instead, hop back up and bow like you’ve just performed a beautiful dismount.\\n12. Accept who you are.\\nLearn to love and own who you are regardless of your humor.\\nSo what if you aren’t the funniest person in the world? You are not defined by your ability to laugh, make people laugh, or understand why people laugh. Regardless of however you feel about your sense of humor, it shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself.\\nRemember, you are valid and you are no less interesting or valuable just because you don’t think you have a sense of humor.\\n13. Try to find the comedy in your partner’s sense of humor.\\nIf you and your partner aren’t on the same comedic wavelength, don’t fight it.\\nLaugh at how silly it is when your partner laughs at something you find totally mundane, and don’t take it personally if they think you’re goofy for laughing at something they find unfunny. By appreciating one another and learning to laugh at yourselves, the different senses of humor won’t seem all that different.\\nRest assured that matching senses of humor actually aren't essential for a healthy, happy relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you feel like you don’t have a sense of humor, you may want to think again. People naturally have an innate ability to find things humorous, and it’s likely that you just haven’t found the right brand of humor for you yet. But even if you actually don’t have a sense of humor, that’s okay too, and we're here to help! In this article, we’ll break down how you can cultivate your sense of humor, deal with social situations where you want to be funny, and learn to accept who you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a relaxed approach to humor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding humor in things is difficult if you’re treating this as a job.\", \"描述\": \"Get in the mindset that you’re setting out on a fun, new adventure, not trying to fix something. After all, there is nothing wrong with you that needs fixing! If you make this a huge deal or you judge yourself every time things don’t work out, you’re going to make it harder to laugh at things.\\nOne of two things is going to happen here. Either you relax on your mission to become funnier and it works, or your relax, it doesn’t work out, and you have an easier time accepting it. It’s a win-win!\\nHumor is innate in the sense that everybody is born with the ability to find things funny. At the same time, humor can also be learned. Even if you don’t have a sense of humor now, you can 100% acquire one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize and respect the humor you do have.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You likely have a sense of humor, it just might not be what you imagine!\", \"描述\": \"There are so many different types of humor out there. It’s possible that you do have a sense of humor and it simply isn’t like everyone else’s. Types of humor include:\\n\\n – The ability to form clever or intelligent connections (“They’re the kind of person who has never used a word that might cause you to pick up a dictionary.”)\\n – Humor based on extremely emotionless statements and ideas (“I don’t know if you know what that word ‘complicated’ means, but it’s very simple.”)\\n – Mockery that relies on exaggeration and irony (“They have a great vocabulary. Well, they may not know that word.”)\\n – Comedy based on physical action, and often called slapstick (“You ever read one of these?” holds up dictionary)\\n – Comedy that treats taboo or serious subjects with levity (“They have the vocabulary of my grief counselor. And my grief counselor is dead.”)\\n – Humor based on making fun of yourself (“I have no vocabulary, so I read the thesaurus. Now I’m smart, clever, intelligent, and academic.”\\n – Humor based on turns of phrase have two meanings (“You should thank me for adding ‘plethora’ to your vocabulary. I’m sure it means a lot.”)\\n – Random, quirky, or nonsensical comedy (“You won’t find the word frumplous in the dictionary. Know why? It doesn’t exist.”)\\nIdentifying what makes you laugh helps provide a roadmap to what your body naturally finds humorous.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hang out with funny people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The best way to develop humor is to immerse yourself in it.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve got friends, family members, or acquaintances who are always laughing it up, spend more time with them. Not only will you foster your relationships by spending more time socializing, but you’re going to naturally cultivate a deeper appreciation for humor.\\nThis can take time, so try not to get frustrated if you feel like you aren’t picking up on things super quickly.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Watch more comedy.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you never watch comedic films or TV shows, start now.\", \"描述\": \"The people who craft comedic material for a living are masters of their craft. If you feel like you just don’t “get” humor but you don’t consume a lot of it, get into the habit. It’s possible that you just haven’t found the right brand of humor for you, but you may if you explore some new material.\\nWatch popular comedic films and TV shows.\\nIf you’ve never watched standup comedy, give it a shot!\\nScan the trending tab on Youtube and look at what comedic videos people are watching.\\nSome people simply prefer more literary comedy. Try reading the Sunday comics or browsing webcomics.\\nIt really helps to look up all the different styles of comedy out there. Understanding what exists and why it exists can help open up the reasoning behind why it's funny (or why it isn't).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Explore new cultures.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Different communities have their own distinct forms of humor.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like the “mainstream” forms of comedy aren’t for you, try immersing yourself in a different community. You might watch comedies made by people from other countries, or hang out with the foreign exchange students at your school to discover what they find humorous.\\nJust surrounding yourself with people from different backgrounds can help dramatically. You’ll improve your sense of humor over time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Embrace your inner child.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stop taking yourself super seriously and just enjoy playing.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s playing video games, skipping down the street, or frolicking in a rainstorm, tap into your best impression of a 6-year-old. Remember what it was like to find the world engaging, new, and strange. It’s a lot easier to find humor in things if you allow yourself to play like you did you when you were little.\\nRevisit your favorite childhood games and interests. Play with modeling clay, mess around with a yo-yo, or break out your old board games and grab some friends.\\nEmbracing silliness and getting back in touch with your inner child can make it easier to loosen up and find the humor in things.\\nAdults are socially conditioned to not be silly, goofy, or funny. If you can let go of those expectations for yourself, you can tap into your inner-funny and discover what your sense of humor truly is.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get in the habit of laughing every day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even if you don’t find something funny, force yourself to laugh.\", \"描述\": \"Some people naturally struggle with letting go and actually laughing because they’re self-conscious. Forcing yourself to laugh—even if you’re alone or don’t find anything funny—can be a great way of “exercising” your laughing muscles. Eventually, laughing will be as natural as breathing for you!\\nLaughter is medicine to the soul, and laughing often triggers more laughing. Try letting yourself laugh out loud at slightly funny things and you may discover the real humor!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take cues from people around you.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When other people laugh, try to get into the spirit of things.\", \"描述\": \"When other people start smiling and getting ready to laugh, lean into it and try to find the joy and humor in whatever triggered the moment. Try laughing along, even if it wasn’t that funny. You may just find yourself learning to open up and find the funny in things.\\nIf you don’t get what was so funny, ask! There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t get it.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Remember a few simple jokes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Memorize a few canned jokes so you can be funny when necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like your sense of humor has a negative impact on your social interactions, just find a few really good, simple jokes and commit them to memory. They don’t have to be original. Then, whenever you’re in a situation that calls for a joke, you can deliver your lines with ease! You could try:\\n“I was going to wear my frog sandals today, but I was told this event had a policy against anything open-toad.”\\n“What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.”\\n“You know what kids these days play when their mom won’t let them use the phone? Bored games.”\\n“There are two types of people out there. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data, and…”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Practice.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your humor is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.\", \"描述\": \"Take risks in social situations and try to make people laugh. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? If you aren’t ready to test things out in public, try cracking jokes with your parents, roommates, or siblings. See what works and what doesn’t. You’ll eventually find the right vibe for you.\\nDon’t give up. As frustrating as this may be, everybody has the ability to make progress and find their personal brand of humor.\\nIf your partner doesn’t understand your sense of humor, try different kinds of jokes and wisecracks out until you find something they laugh at. Then, lean into more jokes in that style.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Let go and learn to laugh at yourself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try not to take yourself so seriously to find the humor in things.\", \"描述\": \"Being able to laugh at yourself and see the funnier side of things can be difficult if you treat everything you do super seriously. Try practicing laughing at yourself when you are alone. Just as you might laugh at someone if they make a silly mistake or trip, try laughing at yourself when those occur.\\nFor example, if you trip in front of someone and they laugh, don’t get embarrassed. Instead, hop back up and bow like you’ve just performed a beautiful dismount.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Accept who you are.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn to love and own who you are regardless of your humor.\", \"描述\": \"So what if you aren’t the funniest person in the world? You are not defined by your ability to laugh, make people laugh, or understand why people laugh. Regardless of however you feel about your sense of humor, it shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself.\\nRemember, you are valid and you are no less interesting or valuable just because you don’t think you have a sense of humor.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Try to find the comedy in your partner’s sense of humor.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you and your partner aren’t on the same comedic wavelength, don’t fight it.\", \"描述\": \"Laugh at how silly it is when your partner laughs at something you find totally mundane, and don’t take it personally if they think you’re goofy for laughing at something they find unfunny. By appreciating one another and learning to laugh at yourselves, the different senses of humor won’t seem all that different.\\nRest assured that matching senses of humor actually aren't essential for a healthy, happy relationship.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
124 | How to Accept That You Won't Get the Love of Your Life Back | 1. Dealing with the Pain of a Breakup
1-1. Allow yourself to feel the sense of loss.
Breaking off from a serious relationship is a truly painful and difficult process. The grief you experience from the loss of a relationship can be just as painful as losing a loved one through death. You may experience the same stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There are very real psychological reasons for the painful feelings that can come with a big separation. Allowing and accepting these feelings can be a great help in eventually moving beyond them.
Don't try to ignore or fight feeling wounded or hurt after breakup.
It's okay and normal to feel sad, broken or empty after a serious breakup.
1-2. Take your time.
Getting beyond the pain that a big breakup can bring will take time. While you are getting over the breakup, take care of yourself and work through your feelings at your own pace. Let yourself indulge in things that give you a sense of comfort and don't feel bad about feeling bad.
Don't rush your recovery.
Eating your favorite foods can be a simple way for you to feel comfortable.
1-3. Don't worry about “why.”
After the breakup happens, you will likely want to know what went wrong. Although it's tempting to wonder exactly how you wound up in this difficult place, working through your pain is more important. Allow yourself time to feel, to readjust and to heal before ever looking back at “what went wrong”.
Your evaluation of the relationship won't be objective if you haven't had time to fully accept that it's over.
Knowing what went wrong won't necessarily help you to feel better about your situation.
1-4. Stay positive and keep healing.
Although it may be tough to stay focused, realizing that you will one day feel better can help you push past the most difficult parts of the breakup. Breakups have been shown to effects similar to those of substance withdrawal. Knowing that the pain of a breakup isn't permanent can allow you to push past the withdrawal and return to your normal, happy and confident self again.
2. Healing After Losing Your Love
2-1. Take good care of yourself.
The depression and pain that come with a breakup can make it tough to properly care for yourself. Getting a good night's sleep can be difficult and you may not feel like eating much of anything. Despite feeling genuinely ill after a breakup, you'll still need to take care of yourself. Properly caring for yourself after a breakup can help you accept the situation and move beyond it.
Remember to eat enough food every day, even if you aren't feeling hungry.
Keep up on basic personal hygiene.
Ask your friends and family for support and help if you are finding it difficult to care for yourself.
Don't fall into unhealthy methods of coping, such as drinking or smoking.
2-2. Don't be in a rush to date again.
Although you may think it could help you feel better, rushing out to find someone to replace your ex can make things even harder. You'll need plenty of time to heal and recover before trying to find another serious relationship. Remember to take your time when coming to terms with your breakup and slowly ease back into social events and new relationships.
Try attending small social events at first and noticing how comfortable you feel.
Gradually work your way up to more in depth and prolonged periods of socializing.
Pursuing another romance too quickly can result in an emotionally uncomfortable and painful experience.
2-3. Avoid being overly isolated.
Although a breakup can make social interactions feel like something that should be avoided, keeping regular contact with your loved ones can help you to heal. Having someone familiar that you can be around may help you to feel more comfortable and supported after a breakup. Avoid spending too much time alone after your loss to help you heal and grow.
It may take some effort to push past the natural urge to be left alone after a breakup.
Although it's tempting to be alone after a breakup, isolation can make things even more painful.
3. Staying Positive and Moving past the Loss
3-1. Realize that there are other chances at love.
Although it may feel as though you've lost your soul mate, realizing that there are other people out there can help you move forward. Don't get stuck thinking that you've lost the only love that you will ever have. Knowing that you can find love again will help you move past your old breakup and into a new and fulfilling relationship.
Although the idea of a "soul mate" is a romantic one, it's not realistic.
There are plenty of other people out there that you can build a new and fulfilling relationship with.
3-2. Keep in mind that your breakup was a new beginning.
Although the old relationship came to an end, it can be helpful to remember that new possibilities have opened up as a result. Once you've accepted the breakup and moved beyond it, you'll be ready to openly explore new and rewarding relationships and experiences.
You'll now be free to pursue interests that you may have been unable to while in your old relationship.
Staying positive and focusing on the benefits of your breakup can help you accept it and move beyond it.
3-3. Don't get too comfortable.
There will come a point when you feel much better about your breakup. At this stage, it can be easy to stay in your comfortable space and avoid getting out there and meeting new people. You may have also become comfortable feeling bad about your situation or angry at your ex. At this point, you should examine your current actions and your past relationship in an effort to help you move fully beyond the breakup.
Avoiding new people or social situations can be a sign that you are still holding onto the pain caused by your breakup.
If you feel like you are holding onto the aspects of your old relationship, it may be time to let them go.
Accepting that the relationship is over will be the final step in moving beyond it.
3-4. Keep yourself busy.
After a serious breakup, it's likely that the only thing on your mind will be the pain caused by the breakup. Because of this, it can be helpful to stay busy and enjoy some of your favorite hobbies. By focusing on your hobbies or other interests, you can help keep your attention off of the painful loss and back onto something you enjoy.
Your hobbies can give you a familiar and comfortable focus.
Exploring your hobbies and interests can help reignite old passions that may have faded due to your old relationship.
Creative outlets, such as painting or writing, can help you express and come to terms with your feelings.
3-5. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.
If you are truly struggling with your breakup, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk with your therapist if you feel that you need professional help to accept the breakup and move beyond it. Your therapist will be able to help you deal with any painful feelings you might still be having, understand why you feel them and get you started on the road back to yourself.
A therapist can offer insight into your feelings and thoughts that you might have missed by yourself.
It's not an admission of defeat to see a therapist.
Therapy can take time. You'll need to be prepared and dedicated to work with your therapist and move beyond your breakup.
3-6. Know when you are ready to move on.
Before you enter into the world of dating again, you'll want to make sure that you are fully comfortable with the idea. Dating before you feel you've totally moved past your loss and old relationship can be difficult. Make sure you can say some of the following things about yourself before dating again:
You should feel totally over the past and your old relationship.
You shouldn't feel resentful or bitter about your past relationship.
You should feel confident about the way you look and present yourself.
You'll want to be in a good place mentally and be ready to share your good mood.
Don't rush to enter into a new relationship. Take your time and make sure you genuinely enjoy someone's company before getting serious.
Tips
Heal at your own pace.
Realize that the pain you are feeling will fade in time.
Avoid rushing back into another relationship.
Warnings
If you feel suicidal after a breakup, please call or text 988 immediately, or your country's suicide prevention hotline if you're outside of the United States.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:25",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Dealing with the Pain of a Breakup\\n1-1. Allow yourself to feel the sense of loss.\\nBreaking off from a serious relationship is a truly painful and difficult process. The grief you experience from the loss of a relationship can be just as painful as losing a loved one through death. You may experience the same stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There are very real psychological reasons for the painful feelings that can come with a big separation. Allowing and accepting these feelings can be a great help in eventually moving beyond them.\\nDon't try to ignore or fight feeling wounded or hurt after breakup.\\nIt's okay and normal to feel sad, broken or empty after a serious breakup.\\n1-2. Take your time.\\nGetting beyond the pain that a big breakup can bring will take time. While you are getting over the breakup, take care of yourself and work through your feelings at your own pace. Let yourself indulge in things that give you a sense of comfort and don't feel bad about feeling bad.\\nDon't rush your recovery.\\nEating your favorite foods can be a simple way for you to feel comfortable.\\n1-3. Don't worry about “why.”\\nAfter the breakup happens, you will likely want to know what went wrong. Although it's tempting to wonder exactly how you wound up in this difficult place, working through your pain is more important. Allow yourself time to feel, to readjust and to heal before ever looking back at “what went wrong”.\\nYour evaluation of the relationship won't be objective if you haven't had time to fully accept that it's over.\\nKnowing what went wrong won't necessarily help you to feel better about your situation.\\n1-4. Stay positive and keep healing.\\nAlthough it may be tough to stay focused, realizing that you will one day feel better can help you push past the most difficult parts of the breakup. Breakups have been shown to effects similar to those of substance withdrawal. Knowing that the pain of a breakup isn't permanent can allow you to push past the withdrawal and return to your normal, happy and confident self again.\\n2. Healing After Losing Your Love\\n2-1. Take good care of yourself.\\nThe depression and pain that come with a breakup can make it tough to properly care for yourself. Getting a good night's sleep can be difficult and you may not feel like eating much of anything. Despite feeling genuinely ill after a breakup, you'll still need to take care of yourself. Properly caring for yourself after a breakup can help you accept the situation and move beyond it.\\nRemember to eat enough food every day, even if you aren't feeling hungry.\\nKeep up on basic personal hygiene.\\nAsk your friends and family for support and help if you are finding it difficult to care for yourself.\\nDon't fall into unhealthy methods of coping, such as drinking or smoking.\\n2-2. Don't be in a rush to date again.\\nAlthough you may think it could help you feel better, rushing out to find someone to replace your ex can make things even harder. You'll need plenty of time to heal and recover before trying to find another serious relationship. Remember to take your time when coming to terms with your breakup and slowly ease back into social events and new relationships.\\nTry attending small social events at first and noticing how comfortable you feel.\\nGradually work your way up to more in depth and prolonged periods of socializing.\\nPursuing another romance too quickly can result in an emotionally uncomfortable and painful experience.\\n2-3. Avoid being overly isolated.\\nAlthough a breakup can make social interactions feel like something that should be avoided, keeping regular contact with your loved ones can help you to heal. Having someone familiar that you can be around may help you to feel more comfortable and supported after a breakup. Avoid spending too much time alone after your loss to help you heal and grow.\\nIt may take some effort to push past the natural urge to be left alone after a breakup.\\nAlthough it's tempting to be alone after a breakup, isolation can make things even more painful.\\n3. Staying Positive and Moving past the Loss\\n3-1. Realize that there are other chances at love.\\nAlthough it may feel as though you've lost your soul mate, realizing that there are other people out there can help you move forward. Don't get stuck thinking that you've lost the only love that you will ever have. Knowing that you can find love again will help you move past your old breakup and into a new and fulfilling relationship.\\nAlthough the idea of a \\\"soul mate\\\" is a romantic one, it's not realistic.\\nThere are plenty of other people out there that you can build a new and fulfilling relationship with.\\n3-2. Keep in mind that your breakup was a new beginning.\\nAlthough the old relationship came to an end, it can be helpful to remember that new possibilities have opened up as a result. Once you've accepted the breakup and moved beyond it, you'll be ready to openly explore new and rewarding relationships and experiences.\\nYou'll now be free to pursue interests that you may have been unable to while in your old relationship.\\nStaying positive and focusing on the benefits of your breakup can help you accept it and move beyond it.\\n3-3. Don't get too comfortable.\\nThere will come a point when you feel much better about your breakup. At this stage, it can be easy to stay in your comfortable space and avoid getting out there and meeting new people. You may have also become comfortable feeling bad about your situation or angry at your ex. At this point, you should examine your current actions and your past relationship in an effort to help you move fully beyond the breakup.\\nAvoiding new people or social situations can be a sign that you are still holding onto the pain caused by your breakup.\\nIf you feel like you are holding onto the aspects of your old relationship, it may be time to let them go.\\nAccepting that the relationship is over will be the final step in moving beyond it.\\n3-4. Keep yourself busy.\\nAfter a serious breakup, it's likely that the only thing on your mind will be the pain caused by the breakup. Because of this, it can be helpful to stay busy and enjoy some of your favorite hobbies. By focusing on your hobbies or other interests, you can help keep your attention off of the painful loss and back onto something you enjoy.\\nYour hobbies can give you a familiar and comfortable focus.\\nExploring your hobbies and interests can help reignite old passions that may have faded due to your old relationship.\\nCreative outlets, such as painting or writing, can help you express and come to terms with your feelings.\\n3-5. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.\\nIf you are truly struggling with your breakup, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk with your therapist if you feel that you need professional help to accept the breakup and move beyond it. Your therapist will be able to help you deal with any painful feelings you might still be having, understand why you feel them and get you started on the road back to yourself.\\nA therapist can offer insight into your feelings and thoughts that you might have missed by yourself.\\nIt's not an admission of defeat to see a therapist.\\nTherapy can take time. You'll need to be prepared and dedicated to work with your therapist and move beyond your breakup.\\n3-6. Know when you are ready to move on.\\nBefore you enter into the world of dating again, you'll want to make sure that you are fully comfortable with the idea. Dating before you feel you've totally moved past your loss and old relationship can be difficult. Make sure you can say some of the following things about yourself before dating again:\\nYou should feel totally over the past and your old relationship.\\nYou shouldn't feel resentful or bitter about your past relationship.\\nYou should feel confident about the way you look and present yourself.\\nYou'll want to be in a good place mentally and be ready to share your good mood.\\nDon't rush to enter into a new relationship. Take your time and make sure you genuinely enjoy someone's company before getting serious.\\nTips\\nHeal at your own pace.\\nRealize that the pain you are feeling will fade in time.\\nAvoid rushing back into another relationship.\\nWarnings\\nIf you feel suicidal after a breakup, please call or text 988 immediately, or your country's suicide prevention hotline if you're outside of the United States.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Breaking up with someone you love can be an extremely difficult thing to go through. Some studies have shown that people feel the emotional pain of a break up in the same way that someone would feel a physical wound. The biggest part of moving past a break up is learning how to accept that the relationship is over and allowing yourself enough time to heal.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Pain of a Breakup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to feel the sense of loss.\", \"描述\": \"Breaking off from a serious relationship is a truly painful and difficult process. The grief you experience from the loss of a relationship can be just as painful as losing a loved one through death. You may experience the same stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There are very real psychological reasons for the painful feelings that can come with a big separation. Allowing and accepting these feelings can be a great help in eventually moving beyond them.\\nDon't try to ignore or fight feeling wounded or hurt after breakup.\\nIt's okay and normal to feel sad, broken or empty after a serious breakup.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take your time.\", \"描述\": \"Getting beyond the pain that a big breakup can bring will take time. While you are getting over the breakup, take care of yourself and work through your feelings at your own pace. Let yourself indulge in things that give you a sense of comfort and don't feel bad about feeling bad.\\nDon't rush your recovery.\\nEating your favorite foods can be a simple way for you to feel comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't worry about “why.”\", \"描述\": \"After the breakup happens, you will likely want to know what went wrong. Although it's tempting to wonder exactly how you wound up in this difficult place, working through your pain is more important. Allow yourself time to feel, to readjust and to heal before ever looking back at “what went wrong”.\\nYour evaluation of the relationship won't be objective if you haven't had time to fully accept that it's over.\\nKnowing what went wrong won't necessarily help you to feel better about your situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay positive and keep healing.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may be tough to stay focused, realizing that you will one day feel better can help you push past the most difficult parts of the breakup. Breakups have been shown to effects similar to those of substance withdrawal. Knowing that the pain of a breakup isn't permanent can allow you to push past the withdrawal and return to your normal, happy and confident self again.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Healing After Losing Your Love\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take good care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The depression and pain that come with a breakup can make it tough to properly care for yourself. Getting a good night's sleep can be difficult and you may not feel like eating much of anything. Despite feeling genuinely ill after a breakup, you'll still need to take care of yourself. Properly caring for yourself after a breakup can help you accept the situation and move beyond it.\\nRemember to eat enough food every day, even if you aren't feeling hungry.\\nKeep up on basic personal hygiene.\\nAsk your friends and family for support and help if you are finding it difficult to care for yourself.\\nDon't fall into unhealthy methods of coping, such as drinking or smoking.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't be in a rush to date again.\", \"描述\": \"Although you may think it could help you feel better, rushing out to find someone to replace your ex can make things even harder. You'll need plenty of time to heal and recover before trying to find another serious relationship. Remember to take your time when coming to terms with your breakup and slowly ease back into social events and new relationships.\\nTry attending small social events at first and noticing how comfortable you feel.\\nGradually work your way up to more in depth and prolonged periods of socializing.\\nPursuing another romance too quickly can result in an emotionally uncomfortable and painful experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid being overly isolated.\", \"描述\": \"Although a breakup can make social interactions feel like something that should be avoided, keeping regular contact with your loved ones can help you to heal. Having someone familiar that you can be around may help you to feel more comfortable and supported after a breakup. Avoid spending too much time alone after your loss to help you heal and grow.\\nIt may take some effort to push past the natural urge to be left alone after a breakup.\\nAlthough it's tempting to be alone after a breakup, isolation can make things even more painful.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Staying Positive and Moving past the Loss\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize that there are other chances at love.\", \"描述\": \"Although it may feel as though you've lost your soul mate, realizing that there are other people out there can help you move forward. Don't get stuck thinking that you've lost the only love that you will ever have. Knowing that you can find love again will help you move past your old breakup and into a new and fulfilling relationship.\\nAlthough the idea of a \\\"soul mate\\\" is a romantic one, it's not realistic.\\nThere are plenty of other people out there that you can build a new and fulfilling relationship with.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind that your breakup was a new beginning.\", \"描述\": \"Although the old relationship came to an end, it can be helpful to remember that new possibilities have opened up as a result. Once you've accepted the breakup and moved beyond it, you'll be ready to openly explore new and rewarding relationships and experiences.\\nYou'll now be free to pursue interests that you may have been unable to while in your old relationship.\\nStaying positive and focusing on the benefits of your breakup can help you accept it and move beyond it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't get too comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"There will come a point when you feel much better about your breakup. At this stage, it can be easy to stay in your comfortable space and avoid getting out there and meeting new people. You may have also become comfortable feeling bad about your situation or angry at your ex. At this point, you should examine your current actions and your past relationship in an effort to help you move fully beyond the breakup.\\nAvoiding new people or social situations can be a sign that you are still holding onto the pain caused by your breakup.\\nIf you feel like you are holding onto the aspects of your old relationship, it may be time to let them go.\\nAccepting that the relationship is over will be the final step in moving beyond it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep yourself busy.\", \"描述\": \"After a serious breakup, it's likely that the only thing on your mind will be the pain caused by the breakup. Because of this, it can be helpful to stay busy and enjoy some of your favorite hobbies. By focusing on your hobbies or other interests, you can help keep your attention off of the painful loss and back onto something you enjoy.\\nYour hobbies can give you a familiar and comfortable focus.\\nExploring your hobbies and interests can help reignite old passions that may have faded due to your old relationship.\\nCreative outlets, such as painting or writing, can help you express and come to terms with your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't be afraid to reach out for help.\", \"描述\": \"If you are truly struggling with your breakup, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk with your therapist if you feel that you need professional help to accept the breakup and move beyond it. Your therapist will be able to help you deal with any painful feelings you might still be having, understand why you feel them and get you started on the road back to yourself.\\nA therapist can offer insight into your feelings and thoughts that you might have missed by yourself.\\nIt's not an admission of defeat to see a therapist.\\nTherapy can take time. You'll need to be prepared and dedicated to work with your therapist and move beyond your breakup.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when you are ready to move on.\", \"描述\": \"Before you enter into the world of dating again, you'll want to make sure that you are fully comfortable with the idea. Dating before you feel you've totally moved past your loss and old relationship can be difficult. Make sure you can say some of the following things about yourself before dating again:\\nYou should feel totally over the past and your old relationship.\\nYou shouldn't feel resentful or bitter about your past relationship.\\nYou should feel confident about the way you look and present yourself.\\nYou'll want to be in a good place mentally and be ready to share your good mood.\\nDon't rush to enter into a new relationship. Take your time and make sure you genuinely enjoy someone's company before getting serious.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Heal at your own pace.\\n\", \"Realize that the pain you are feeling will fade in time.\\n\", \"Avoid rushing back into another relationship.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you feel suicidal after a breakup, please call or text 988 immediately, or your country's suicide prevention hotline if you're outside of the United States.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
125 | How to Accept That Your Beloved Dog is Aging | 1. Living Life to the Fullest
1-1. Exercise
Dogs, both big and small, do not enjoy being cooped up inside the house or apartment all day. Besides being a great source of company, your dog can actually help keep you healthy because they need to be exercised. It is also a great bonding time.
As your dog ages, regular exercise is important in keeping them from becoming obese, as well as preventing arthritis. Short, frequent walks are recommended in place of long walks, to keep your pet from tiring.
A sign that your dog is getting too much exercise, or is over-exerting, can be observed by noting their respiration (counting the breaths your dog takes). A dog's respiration of should be between 25 to 35 breaths per minute when exercising. When respiration rises to over 35 breaths per minute, this means the dog is over-exerting his/herself. As your pet ages, and combined with any health issue, over-exercising can be detrimental to their health.
1-2. Enjoy the mutual health benefits.
It is suggested that as well as providing entertainment and companionship, dogs also provide many health benefits for their human companions.
Pet owners who spend 15 to 30 minutes a day with their dog can benefit from a feeling peace and tranquility, as a result of the rise of associated chemical levels in the brain.
Spending time with your pet can help to improve your mood and reduce depression in both men and women.
1-3. Visit the vet annually.
Every dog needs an annual checkup and vaccines. Using the the same veterinarian helps both your vet and dog to get to know each other. In addition, the vet will be able to give advice on caring for your pet as they age based on their history with your pet. Common age related ailments include:
Eye problems, including vision loss
Increased frequency of urination or strained urination
Oral problems, including bad breath and bloody gums
Skin problems, including the formation of lumps, moles, and bumps
Arthritis and joint difficulties
Weight loss or gain
Behavioural issues and memory
1-4. Heed your vet's advice.
Based on the annual examination, your vet may make suggestions regarding diet, dietary supplements, and exercise. Heeding this advice is important in order to ensure that your canine companion remains happy and healthy.
Your vet knows how much you love your dog and the emotions that are involved when a pet enters their senior years. As a pet parent, never be afraid to ask your vet any questions you may have.
2. Loving Every Minute
2-1. Age together; keep each other young.
While adults age once every calendar year, our canine friends age seven years in that same period. A dog is considered to be a senior when he or she reaches the last 25% of their life expectancy.
While the life expectancy varies by breed and size, generally giant dogs, such as Great Danes, St. Bernard's and breeds of Mastiffs, have a life expectancy of up to ten years. In the case of small breeds, including Beagles, Shih Tzu and Yorkshire Terriers, almost 40% reach an age in excess of ten years.
Your dog can aid in protecting your health: While you take care of your dog's health with annual trips to the vet, your pet has been found to aid in the health of their pet parent in other ways:
Along with companionship and aiding in feelings of depression, dog owners have been noted to have lower cholesterol and blood pressure, as well as having a lower risk of heart attack.
Some breeds are even able to detect cancer in their owners. This includes colon, bladder, lung, breast, ovarian, and skin cancer. Some dogs have been reported to have sniffed out a mole on the skin of there owner and bitten it off.
2-2. Have feeding time where your dog gets "people food".
While the last thing that you want to have at the dinner table is a begging dog, single person households and busy family lifestyles can mean many meals sitting on the couch in the living room. Most pets have been taught that begging is a no no, but that is typically at the dinner table. Even well-trained dogs, while rarely attempting to look you in the eye, may sit in a spot that is within your reach, should you happen to want to share.
For those of us who cannot resist the guilt, here is some people-food that is safe to share with your aging dog:
Plain, low fat (or no fat) yogurt provides probiotics that can aid with any digestive issues.
Cooked eggs are easily digested and do not carry any cholesterol issues. They can also be used to provide half of your dog's daily diet.
Liver is packed with nutrients, vitamins and minerals. It can be used to make up to 5% of your pet's diet.
Various types of fish are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids. These fatty acids contribute to a healthy coat and skin, along with supporting the immune system and reduce inflammation. The best sources are pink salmon, mackerel and and sardines.
Skinless, dark "meat" of chicken provide more nutrition than the low fat white parts.
Types of red meat, such as beef, provide nutrients including iron and zinc. To provide a wider variety of fatty acids, consider combining both red meat (beef and lamb) and poultry.
In limited quantities, cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and brussels sprouts, provide nutrients and antioxidants that prevent cancer. Note that cooking the above vegetables is important, as thyroid issues can result if eaten fresh or raw.
Cooked sweet potatoes are rich in antioxidants, vitamin C and beta-carotene.
Berries such as strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries provide fiber, as well as potentially reducing the risk of cancer.
Whole grains, including oatmeal, offer a variety of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals. They also adding fibre to your pet's diet.
2-3. Have a feeding time for commercial dog food.
When your dog enters his or her senior years, it is important that their diet consists an adequate amount of fat and protein, while ensuring it is lower in calories and higher in fibre.
Take into consideration any health issues, such as heart, kidney or constipation issues, when deciding on senior pet food. These conditions will require a change in diet. Dogs prone to arthritic joints, especially in the cold of winter months, will benefit from a food supplement of glucosamine chondroitin. Dry dog food will help with tartar buildup on teeth if your dog is able to chew it.
If your dog is still active, in good health and of appropriate weight, you can continue to feed your senior pet the same adult food as always. If activity level changes, you will want to keep an eye on their weight. Move to senior food if weight gain becomes an issue.
Treating your dog: As your dog ages, their taste for particular treats may change. Also, with possible and/or impending medical conditions, treats including particular ingredients and supplements are advisable. You should also take your pet's size into consideration. Below are some suggestions for treats, based on the size and build of dogs:
Large/giant dogs. Wedges of cooked potato, or a large jerky-type chew, is appropriate. It's also something that will take them a longer time to consume.
Medium-sized dogs. One-ingredient treats, specially designed for digestion, such as freeze-dried liver bites, are a good choice. You can also look for treats that include pumpkin, sweet potato and probiotics, all of which are gentle on the stomach.
Small/toy dogs. Soft, probiotic, cookies, with a filling of fruits and vegetables, help to keep the calorie count low and are easy on little jaws. You can also try filling the inside of a small, hollow toy with peanut butter, for a special treat.
2-4. Share the love.
The bond between pet and pet parent(s) is strong. When a pet owner is single, where the dog has one-on-one attention from their owner, it is especially strong. In family homes, your dog will always have a closer bond with one particular member; perhaps the one who spends the most time with them, feeds them, or exercises them.
Pamper your pet. If your pet sleeps with you on your bed, consider building a ramp or a couple of steps in order to make climbing into bed easier. You should also provide pee pads.
If you giving supplements for conditions related to aging, ensure that you are giving them to your dog on a consistent, regular basis.
Puppy training pads are a good idea as your dog becomes a senior. Retraining them to the pee pad will save on middle of the trips outside, or a wet spot on the carpet when you wake up. Doggy diapers are also available if bladder control is a major health issue.
Treats and snacks: As weight gain is a concern with senior dogs, ensure that you are giving age-appropriate treats, like those mentioned above. It should also be noted that treats should be a major source of your dog's diet. Providing treats two to three times a day is ample; ten to 15 is going overboard. Also remember that, while the brightly colored treats made to resemble human food may look appealing, they are full of additives and artificial coloring. It is best to choose treats that are natural.
2-5. Enjoy being loved.
Dogs are loyal companions; they can be sweet, affectionate, protective, and loving to their owners. Every breed comes with their own personality and traits, but no matter the breed, your dog will always be loving and loyal to his/her master. There are five signs that your dog uses to show you their love:
Meeting you at the door, wagging your tail, and being happy to see you.
Looking at you with round and relaxed eyes. Studies have shown that this gaze between pet and pet parent can raise the mutual levels of the love hormone oxytocin in both the dog and the owner.
Comes to you for cuddles, just because! They are looking for the attention without expecting something in return.
Consistently wants to be near you. This does not mean that they want to be cuddling all of the time, but they want to be in the same vicinity. You might move to another room. When your dog notices, he/she will come to find out where you went, and curl up in a new spot close by.
If your dog decides it is play time, he/she will bring a toy over to you as an invitation for fun.
3. Laughing at the Silly Things
3-1. Enjoy playtime.
It is not just kids that want to have fun! Your pet wants to have fun too. Here are some suggestions to amuse both you and your dog:
Try out the canine version of 3-Card Monte. This is called Ante Up. To play it, take three paper cups and poke a hole in the bottom of each. Place the cups in front of your dog, having hidden a treat under one, then ask: "Where's the treat?". This is a great game, especially for pets that have mobility issues.
Let your hunter find the prize with Finders Keepers. Secretly (okay, not too secretly) hide a small amount of treats in locations around your home. When the treasure is hidden, tell your dog to "find the treats"!
Tug-of-War is always fun for any dog, regardless of the size or age. You do have to consider any infirmities or health issues your pet has, including loose or missing teeth or a weaker jaw.
Playing Fetch is another of those timeless activities. Again, it is important to take your pet's health into consideration. While it will help to keep your dog's weight under control, keep in mind conditions like arthritis. Ensure that your do not overdo it. Maybe cut it down to five throws, instead of the 10 or 15 from a few years ago!
Taking your dog swimming is wonderful fun. It is a low impact, aerobic workout that is easy on the joints, as well as working muscles and ligaments. Just like water aerobics is a great workout for us, it provides the same benefits for our pets. Plus, watching your pooch do the dog-paddle is so fun to watch.
For those who do not have a place to take dogs swimming, small or toy dogs can go for a swim in the bathtub. You may also use a rigid (polyethylene) swimming pool! Pet stores often carry them in the spring and summer seasons.
3-2. Take delight in antics.
Our four legged friends are a wonderful source of amusement.
Sometimes dogs react to the TV. Have you ever wondered if your dog can watch television? The answer is yes and they actually can have favourite shows too! Here are some factors can that draw your pet's attention to the TV:
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Your dog may commence barking the split second he or she sees an animal on the television. They become territorial, barking at the perceived threat as vehemently as they would if the animal was standing in the same room. They become protective of their home and family!
Dogs become familiar with particular shows or commercials. For some, just a few bars of a theme song or the melody of a bark-able commercial can be enough to send them into a tail spin.
Taking a dog on a play-date can be particularly amusing. There can be multiple dogs sleeping in a recreation room where a TV is on. It takes just one to spy a dog on the TV to turn quiet time into a ruckus of barking. It is as if they take turns patrolling, a nonverbal pact to wake the others in the event of an intrusion!
4. Enjoying Every Moment
4-1. Build memories.
Take your pal to smell the flowers in the spring! Soak up the summer sunshine! Play together in the fallen leaves and watch your dog prance and frolic in the snow! Commemorate the special times with pictures and home movies through the wonders of modern technology.
4-2. Celebrate birthdays.
You may not know the exact date your furry pal was born, but you can celebrate the day they came into your life. There are many recipes on the internet for canine-friendly birthday cakes to help with the festivities.
4-3. Savor the little things.
Remember the day your dog clawed and scratched their way up onto your brand new bed to wake you with kisses? Remember how disheartened you were at the scratch marks that now gave your bed a "new look"? How about your new shoes that became a tasty treat before you even had a chance to wear them?
As upset and frustrated you may have been at that moment, they will turn into memories that will make you smile over the years. You will run your fingers over the scratches on your bed and feel the love that you and your best pal always shared!
Tips
Many years ago, there was a misconception that dogs could not watch TV. In actuality, dogs have always been able to watch TV . When plasma and digital televisions became commonplace, it made "watching" TV even easier for dogs. The picture became even clearer; modern technology allows the TV to process images up to four times more quickly than older televisions.[9]
X
Research source
Adopt a pet instead of buying one. While there are many, very legitimate reasons why some cannot adopt a pet, (for example, allergies that create difficulty in adopting a hypo-allergenic pet),[10]
X
Research source
) there are many abandoned and rescued animals in shelters.
If you're confused at why your dog is barking, there are some neurological reasons. For example, it turns out that dogs are able to hear an average of seven times better than their human masters. Literature also claims that dogs bark due to fear or anxiety,[11]
X
Research source
many others conclude that dogs are barking because of the pain of the loud noise.[12]
X
Research source
While it can be amusing to watch, if your dog is barking profusely, it is their way of saying make the noise stop. If the dog is barking at the loud car noises, try to take him or her somewhere else.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Living Life to the Fullest\\n1-1. Exercise\\nDogs, both big and small, do not enjoy being cooped up inside the house or apartment all day. Besides being a great source of company, your dog can actually help keep you healthy because they need to be exercised. It is also a great bonding time.\\nAs your dog ages, regular exercise is important in keeping them from becoming obese, as well as preventing arthritis. Short, frequent walks are recommended in place of long walks, to keep your pet from tiring.\\nA sign that your dog is getting too much exercise, or is over-exerting, can be observed by noting their respiration (counting the breaths your dog takes). A dog's respiration of should be between 25 to 35 breaths per minute when exercising. When respiration rises to over 35 breaths per minute, this means the dog is over-exerting his/herself. As your pet ages, and combined with any health issue, over-exercising can be detrimental to their health.\\n1-2. Enjoy the mutual health benefits.\\nIt is suggested that as well as providing entertainment and companionship, dogs also provide many health benefits for their human companions.\\nPet owners who spend 15 to 30 minutes a day with their dog can benefit from a feeling peace and tranquility, as a result of the rise of associated chemical levels in the brain.\\nSpending time with your pet can help to improve your mood and reduce depression in both men and women.\\n1-3. Visit the vet annually.\\nEvery dog needs an annual checkup and vaccines. Using the the same veterinarian helps both your vet and dog to get to know each other. In addition, the vet will be able to give advice on caring for your pet as they age based on their history with your pet. Common age related ailments include:\\nEye problems, including vision loss\\nIncreased frequency of urination or strained urination\\nOral problems, including bad breath and bloody gums\\nSkin problems, including the formation of lumps, moles, and bumps\\nArthritis and joint difficulties\\nWeight loss or gain\\nBehavioural issues and memory\\n1-4. Heed your vet's advice.\\nBased on the annual examination, your vet may make suggestions regarding diet, dietary supplements, and exercise. Heeding this advice is important in order to ensure that your canine companion remains happy and healthy.\\nYour vet knows how much you love your dog and the emotions that are involved when a pet enters their senior years. As a pet parent, never be afraid to ask your vet any questions you may have.\\n2. Loving Every Minute\\n2-1. Age together; keep each other young.\\nWhile adults age once every calendar year, our canine friends age seven years in that same period. A dog is considered to be a senior when he or she reaches the last 25% of their life expectancy.\\nWhile the life expectancy varies by breed and size, generally giant dogs, such as Great Danes, St. Bernard's and breeds of Mastiffs, have a life expectancy of up to ten years. In the case of small breeds, including Beagles, Shih Tzu and Yorkshire Terriers, almost 40% reach an age in excess of ten years.\\nYour dog can aid in protecting your health: While you take care of your dog's health with annual trips to the vet, your pet has been found to aid in the health of their pet parent in other ways:\\nAlong with companionship and aiding in feelings of depression, dog owners have been noted to have lower cholesterol and blood pressure, as well as having a lower risk of heart attack.\\nSome breeds are even able to detect cancer in their owners. This includes colon, bladder, lung, breast, ovarian, and skin cancer. Some dogs have been reported to have sniffed out a mole on the skin of there owner and bitten it off.\\n2-2. Have feeding time where your dog gets \\\"people food\\\".\\nWhile the last thing that you want to have at the dinner table is a begging dog, single person households and busy family lifestyles can mean many meals sitting on the couch in the living room. Most pets have been taught that begging is a no no, but that is typically at the dinner table. Even well-trained dogs, while rarely attempting to look you in the eye, may sit in a spot that is within your reach, should you happen to want to share.\\nFor those of us who cannot resist the guilt, here is some people-food that is safe to share with your aging dog:\\nPlain, low fat (or no fat) yogurt provides probiotics that can aid with any digestive issues.\\nCooked eggs are easily digested and do not carry any cholesterol issues. They can also be used to provide half of your dog's daily diet.\\nLiver is packed with nutrients, vitamins and minerals. It can be used to make up to 5% of your pet's diet.\\nVarious types of fish are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids. These fatty acids contribute to a healthy coat and skin, along with supporting the immune system and reduce inflammation. The best sources are pink salmon, mackerel and and sardines.\\nSkinless, dark \\\"meat\\\" of chicken provide more nutrition than the low fat white parts.\\nTypes of red meat, such as beef, provide nutrients including iron and zinc. To provide a wider variety of fatty acids, consider combining both red meat (beef and lamb) and poultry.\\nIn limited quantities, cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and brussels sprouts, provide nutrients and antioxidants that prevent cancer. Note that cooking the above vegetables is important, as thyroid issues can result if eaten fresh or raw.\\nCooked sweet potatoes are rich in antioxidants, vitamin C and beta-carotene.\\nBerries such as strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries provide fiber, as well as potentially reducing the risk of cancer.\\nWhole grains, including oatmeal, offer a variety of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals. They also adding fibre to your pet's diet.\\n2-3. Have a feeding time for commercial dog food.\\nWhen your dog enters his or her senior years, it is important that their diet consists an adequate amount of fat and protein, while ensuring it is lower in calories and higher in fibre.\\nTake into consideration any health issues, such as heart, kidney or constipation issues, when deciding on senior pet food. These conditions will require a change in diet. Dogs prone to arthritic joints, especially in the cold of winter months, will benefit from a food supplement of glucosamine chondroitin. Dry dog food will help with tartar buildup on teeth if your dog is able to chew it.\\nIf your dog is still active, in good health and of appropriate weight, you can continue to feed your senior pet the same adult food as always. If activity level changes, you will want to keep an eye on their weight. Move to senior food if weight gain becomes an issue.\\n\\nTreating your dog: As your dog ages, their taste for particular treats may change. Also, with possible and/or impending medical conditions, treats including particular ingredients and supplements are advisable. You should also take your pet's size into consideration. Below are some suggestions for treats, based on the size and build of dogs:\\nLarge/giant dogs. Wedges of cooked potato, or a large jerky-type chew, is appropriate. It's also something that will take them a longer time to consume.\\nMedium-sized dogs. One-ingredient treats, specially designed for digestion, such as freeze-dried liver bites, are a good choice. You can also look for treats that include pumpkin, sweet potato and probiotics, all of which are gentle on the stomach.\\nSmall/toy dogs. Soft, probiotic, cookies, with a filling of fruits and vegetables, help to keep the calorie count low and are easy on little jaws. You can also try filling the inside of a small, hollow toy with peanut butter, for a special treat.\\n2-4. Share the love.\\nThe bond between pet and pet parent(s) is strong. When a pet owner is single, where the dog has one-on-one attention from their owner, it is especially strong. In family homes, your dog will always have a closer bond with one particular member; perhaps the one who spends the most time with them, feeds them, or exercises them.\\nPamper your pet. If your pet sleeps with you on your bed, consider building a ramp or a couple of steps in order to make climbing into bed easier. You should also provide pee pads.\\nIf you giving supplements for conditions related to aging, ensure that you are giving them to your dog on a consistent, regular basis.\\nPuppy training pads are a good idea as your dog becomes a senior. Retraining them to the pee pad will save on middle of the trips outside, or a wet spot on the carpet when you wake up. Doggy diapers are also available if bladder control is a major health issue.\\nTreats and snacks: As weight gain is a concern with senior dogs, ensure that you are giving age-appropriate treats, like those mentioned above. It should also be noted that treats should be a major source of your dog's diet. Providing treats two to three times a day is ample; ten to 15 is going overboard. Also remember that, while the brightly colored treats made to resemble human food may look appealing, they are full of additives and artificial coloring. It is best to choose treats that are natural.\\n2-5. Enjoy being loved.\\nDogs are loyal companions; they can be sweet, affectionate, protective, and loving to their owners. Every breed comes with their own personality and traits, but no matter the breed, your dog will always be loving and loyal to his/her master. There are five signs that your dog uses to show you their love:\\n\\nMeeting you at the door, wagging your tail, and being happy to see you.\\nLooking at you with round and relaxed eyes. Studies have shown that this gaze between pet and pet parent can raise the mutual levels of the love hormone oxytocin in both the dog and the owner.\\nComes to you for cuddles, just because! They are looking for the attention without expecting something in return.\\nConsistently wants to be near you. This does not mean that they want to be cuddling all of the time, but they want to be in the same vicinity. You might move to another room. When your dog notices, he/she will come to find out where you went, and curl up in a new spot close by.\\nIf your dog decides it is play time, he/she will bring a toy over to you as an invitation for fun.\\n3. Laughing at the Silly Things\\n3-1. Enjoy playtime.\\nIt is not just kids that want to have fun! Your pet wants to have fun too. Here are some suggestions to amuse both you and your dog:\\nTry out the canine version of 3-Card Monte. This is called Ante Up. To play it, take three paper cups and poke a hole in the bottom of each. Place the cups in front of your dog, having hidden a treat under one, then ask: \\\"Where's the treat?\\\". This is a great game, especially for pets that have mobility issues.\\nLet your hunter find the prize with Finders Keepers. Secretly (okay, not too secretly) hide a small amount of treats in locations around your home. When the treasure is hidden, tell your dog to \\\"find the treats\\\"!\\nTug-of-War is always fun for any dog, regardless of the size or age. You do have to consider any infirmities or health issues your pet has, including loose or missing teeth or a weaker jaw.\\nPlaying Fetch is another of those timeless activities. Again, it is important to take your pet's health into consideration. While it will help to keep your dog's weight under control, keep in mind conditions like arthritis. Ensure that your do not overdo it. Maybe cut it down to five throws, instead of the 10 or 15 from a few years ago!\\nTaking your dog swimming is wonderful fun. It is a low impact, aerobic workout that is easy on the joints, as well as working muscles and ligaments. Just like water aerobics is a great workout for us, it provides the same benefits for our pets. Plus, watching your pooch do the dog-paddle is so fun to watch.\\nFor those who do not have a place to take dogs swimming, small or toy dogs can go for a swim in the bathtub. You may also use a rigid (polyethylene) swimming pool! Pet stores often carry them in the spring and summer seasons.\\n3-2. Take delight in antics.\\nOur four legged friends are a wonderful source of amusement.\\nSometimes dogs react to the TV. Have you ever wondered if your dog can watch television? The answer is yes and they actually can have favourite shows too! Here are some factors can that draw your pet's attention to the TV:\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\\/460px-From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\\/728px-From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":259,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":410,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>Image by: Uploader<br>\\\\nLicense: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nYour dog may commence barking the split second he or she sees an animal on the television. They become territorial, barking at the perceived threat as vehemently as they would if the animal was standing in the same room. They become protective of their home and family!\\nDogs become familiar with particular shows or commercials. For some, just a few bars of a theme song or the melody of a bark-able commercial can be enough to send them into a tail spin.\\nTaking a dog on a play-date can be particularly amusing. There can be multiple dogs sleeping in a recreation room where a TV is on. It takes just one to spy a dog on the TV to turn quiet time into a ruckus of barking. It is as if they take turns patrolling, a nonverbal pact to wake the others in the event of an intrusion!\\n4. Enjoying Every Moment\\n4-1. Build memories.\\nTake your pal to smell the flowers in the spring! Soak up the summer sunshine! Play together in the fallen leaves and watch your dog prance and frolic in the snow! Commemorate the special times with pictures and home movies through the wonders of modern technology.\\n4-2. Celebrate birthdays.\\nYou may not know the exact date your furry pal was born, but you can celebrate the day they came into your life. There are many recipes on the internet for canine-friendly birthday cakes to help with the festivities.\\n4-3. Savor the little things.\\nRemember the day your dog clawed and scratched their way up onto your brand new bed to wake you with kisses? Remember how disheartened you were at the scratch marks that now gave your bed a \\\"new look\\\"? How about your new shoes that became a tasty treat before you even had a chance to wear them?\\nAs upset and frustrated you may have been at that moment, they will turn into memories that will make you smile over the years. You will run your fingers over the scratches on your bed and feel the love that you and your best pal always shared!\\nTips\\nMany years ago, there was a misconception that dogs could not watch TV. In actuality, dogs have always been able to watch TV . When plasma and digital televisions became commonplace, it made \\\"watching\\\" TV even easier for dogs. The picture became even clearer; modern technology allows the TV to process images up to four times more quickly than older televisions.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAdopt a pet instead of buying one. While there are many, very legitimate reasons why some cannot adopt a pet, (for example, allergies that create difficulty in adopting a hypo-allergenic pet),[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n) there are many abandoned and rescued animals in shelters.\\nIf you're confused at why your dog is barking, there are some neurological reasons. For example, it turns out that dogs are able to hear an average of seven times better than their human masters. Literature also claims that dogs bark due to fear or anxiety,[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\nmany others conclude that dogs are barking because of the pain of the loud noise.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n While it can be amusing to watch, if your dog is barking profusely, it is their way of saying make the noise stop. If the dog is barking at the loud car noises, try to take him or her somewhere else.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Companionship with your pet can be one the most rewarding and satisfying parts of your life. This is especially true for people who live alone, at any stage in life. Regrettably, the circle of life is a reality that every pet parent must accept. To that end, making the most of the moments and years you share together will create heartfelt memories that last a lifetime.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Living Life to the Fullest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Exercise\", \"描述\": \"Dogs, both big and small, do not enjoy being cooped up inside the house or apartment all day. Besides being a great source of company, your dog can actually help keep you healthy because they need to be exercised. It is also a great bonding time.\\nAs your dog ages, regular exercise is important in keeping them from becoming obese, as well as preventing arthritis. Short, frequent walks are recommended in place of long walks, to keep your pet from tiring.\\nA sign that your dog is getting too much exercise, or is over-exerting, can be observed by noting their respiration (counting the breaths your dog takes). A dog's respiration of should be between 25 to 35 breaths per minute when exercising. When respiration rises to over 35 breaths per minute, this means the dog is over-exerting his/herself. As your pet ages, and combined with any health issue, over-exercising can be detrimental to their health.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the mutual health benefits.\", \"描述\": \"It is suggested that as well as providing entertainment and companionship, dogs also provide many health benefits for their human companions.\\nPet owners who spend 15 to 30 minutes a day with their dog can benefit from a feeling peace and tranquility, as a result of the rise of associated chemical levels in the brain.\\nSpending time with your pet can help to improve your mood and reduce depression in both men and women.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Visit the vet annually.\", \"描述\": \"Every dog needs an annual checkup and vaccines. Using the the same veterinarian helps both your vet and dog to get to know each other. In addition, the vet will be able to give advice on caring for your pet as they age based on their history with your pet. Common age related ailments include:\\nEye problems, including vision loss\\nIncreased frequency of urination or strained urination\\nOral problems, including bad breath and bloody gums\\nSkin problems, including the formation of lumps, moles, and bumps\\nArthritis and joint difficulties\\nWeight loss or gain\\nBehavioural issues and memory\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Heed your vet's advice.\", \"描述\": \"Based on the annual examination, your vet may make suggestions regarding diet, dietary supplements, and exercise. Heeding this advice is important in order to ensure that your canine companion remains happy and healthy.\\nYour vet knows how much you love your dog and the emotions that are involved when a pet enters their senior years. As a pet parent, never be afraid to ask your vet any questions you may have.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Loving Every Minute\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Age together; keep each other young.\", \"描述\": \"While adults age once every calendar year, our canine friends age seven years in that same period. A dog is considered to be a senior when he or she reaches the last 25% of their life expectancy.\\nWhile the life expectancy varies by breed and size, generally giant dogs, such as Great Danes, St. Bernard's and breeds of Mastiffs, have a life expectancy of up to ten years. In the case of small breeds, including Beagles, Shih Tzu and Yorkshire Terriers, almost 40% reach an age in excess of ten years.\\nYour dog can aid in protecting your health: While you take care of your dog's health with annual trips to the vet, your pet has been found to aid in the health of their pet parent in other ways:\\nAlong with companionship and aiding in feelings of depression, dog owners have been noted to have lower cholesterol and blood pressure, as well as having a lower risk of heart attack.\\nSome breeds are even able to detect cancer in their owners. This includes colon, bladder, lung, breast, ovarian, and skin cancer. Some dogs have been reported to have sniffed out a mole on the skin of there owner and bitten it off.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have feeding time where your dog gets \\\"people food\\\".\", \"描述\": \"While the last thing that you want to have at the dinner table is a begging dog, single person households and busy family lifestyles can mean many meals sitting on the couch in the living room. Most pets have been taught that begging is a no no, but that is typically at the dinner table. Even well-trained dogs, while rarely attempting to look you in the eye, may sit in a spot that is within your reach, should you happen to want to share.\\nFor those of us who cannot resist the guilt, here is some people-food that is safe to share with your aging dog:\\nPlain, low fat (or no fat) yogurt provides probiotics that can aid with any digestive issues.\\nCooked eggs are easily digested and do not carry any cholesterol issues. They can also be used to provide half of your dog's daily diet.\\nLiver is packed with nutrients, vitamins and minerals. It can be used to make up to 5% of your pet's diet.\\nVarious types of fish are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids. These fatty acids contribute to a healthy coat and skin, along with supporting the immune system and reduce inflammation. The best sources are pink salmon, mackerel and and sardines.\\nSkinless, dark \\\"meat\\\" of chicken provide more nutrition than the low fat white parts.\\nTypes of red meat, such as beef, provide nutrients including iron and zinc. To provide a wider variety of fatty acids, consider combining both red meat (beef and lamb) and poultry.\\nIn limited quantities, cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and brussels sprouts, provide nutrients and antioxidants that prevent cancer. Note that cooking the above vegetables is important, as thyroid issues can result if eaten fresh or raw.\\nCooked sweet potatoes are rich in antioxidants, vitamin C and beta-carotene.\\nBerries such as strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries provide fiber, as well as potentially reducing the risk of cancer.\\nWhole grains, including oatmeal, offer a variety of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals. They also adding fibre to your pet's diet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a feeding time for commercial dog food.\", \"描述\": \"When your dog enters his or her senior years, it is important that their diet consists an adequate amount of fat and protein, while ensuring it is lower in calories and higher in fibre.\\nTake into consideration any health issues, such as heart, kidney or constipation issues, when deciding on senior pet food. These conditions will require a change in diet. Dogs prone to arthritic joints, especially in the cold of winter months, will benefit from a food supplement of glucosamine chondroitin. Dry dog food will help with tartar buildup on teeth if your dog is able to chew it.\\nIf your dog is still active, in good health and of appropriate weight, you can continue to feed your senior pet the same adult food as always. If activity level changes, you will want to keep an eye on their weight. Move to senior food if weight gain becomes an issue.\\n\\nTreating your dog: As your dog ages, their taste for particular treats may change. Also, with possible and/or impending medical conditions, treats including particular ingredients and supplements are advisable. You should also take your pet's size into consideration. Below are some suggestions for treats, based on the size and build of dogs:\\nLarge/giant dogs. Wedges of cooked potato, or a large jerky-type chew, is appropriate. It's also something that will take them a longer time to consume.\\nMedium-sized dogs. One-ingredient treats, specially designed for digestion, such as freeze-dried liver bites, are a good choice. You can also look for treats that include pumpkin, sweet potato and probiotics, all of which are gentle on the stomach.\\nSmall/toy dogs. Soft, probiotic, cookies, with a filling of fruits and vegetables, help to keep the calorie count low and are easy on little jaws. You can also try filling the inside of a small, hollow toy with peanut butter, for a special treat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Share the love.\", \"描述\": \"The bond between pet and pet parent(s) is strong. When a pet owner is single, where the dog has one-on-one attention from their owner, it is especially strong. In family homes, your dog will always have a closer bond with one particular member; perhaps the one who spends the most time with them, feeds them, or exercises them.\\nPamper your pet. If your pet sleeps with you on your bed, consider building a ramp or a couple of steps in order to make climbing into bed easier. You should also provide pee pads.\\nIf you giving supplements for conditions related to aging, ensure that you are giving them to your dog on a consistent, regular basis.\\nPuppy training pads are a good idea as your dog becomes a senior. Retraining them to the pee pad will save on middle of the trips outside, or a wet spot on the carpet when you wake up. Doggy diapers are also available if bladder control is a major health issue.\\nTreats and snacks: As weight gain is a concern with senior dogs, ensure that you are giving age-appropriate treats, like those mentioned above. It should also be noted that treats should be a major source of your dog's diet. Providing treats two to three times a day is ample; ten to 15 is going overboard. Also remember that, while the brightly colored treats made to resemble human food may look appealing, they are full of additives and artificial coloring. It is best to choose treats that are natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enjoy being loved.\", \"描述\": \"Dogs are loyal companions; they can be sweet, affectionate, protective, and loving to their owners. Every breed comes with their own personality and traits, but no matter the breed, your dog will always be loving and loyal to his/her master. There are five signs that your dog uses to show you their love:\\n\\nMeeting you at the door, wagging your tail, and being happy to see you.\\nLooking at you with round and relaxed eyes. Studies have shown that this gaze between pet and pet parent can raise the mutual levels of the love hormone oxytocin in both the dog and the owner.\\nComes to you for cuddles, just because! They are looking for the attention without expecting something in return.\\nConsistently wants to be near you. This does not mean that they want to be cuddling all of the time, but they want to be in the same vicinity. You might move to another room. When your dog notices, he/she will come to find out where you went, and curl up in a new spot close by.\\nIf your dog decides it is play time, he/she will bring a toy over to you as an invitation for fun.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Laughing at the Silly Things\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enjoy playtime.\", \"描述\": \"It is not just kids that want to have fun! Your pet wants to have fun too. Here are some suggestions to amuse both you and your dog:\\nTry out the canine version of 3-Card Monte. This is called Ante Up. To play it, take three paper cups and poke a hole in the bottom of each. Place the cups in front of your dog, having hidden a treat under one, then ask: \\\"Where's the treat?\\\". This is a great game, especially for pets that have mobility issues.\\nLet your hunter find the prize with Finders Keepers. Secretly (okay, not too secretly) hide a small amount of treats in locations around your home. When the treasure is hidden, tell your dog to \\\"find the treats\\\"!\\nTug-of-War is always fun for any dog, regardless of the size or age. You do have to consider any infirmities or health issues your pet has, including loose or missing teeth or a weaker jaw.\\nPlaying Fetch is another of those timeless activities. Again, it is important to take your pet's health into consideration. While it will help to keep your dog's weight under control, keep in mind conditions like arthritis. Ensure that your do not overdo it. Maybe cut it down to five throws, instead of the 10 or 15 from a few years ago!\\nTaking your dog swimming is wonderful fun. It is a low impact, aerobic workout that is easy on the joints, as well as working muscles and ligaments. Just like water aerobics is a great workout for us, it provides the same benefits for our pets. Plus, watching your pooch do the dog-paddle is so fun to watch.\\nFor those who do not have a place to take dogs swimming, small or toy dogs can go for a swim in the bathtub. You may also use a rigid (polyethylene) swimming pool! Pet stores often carry them in the spring and summer seasons.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take delight in antics.\", \"描述\": \"Our four legged friends are a wonderful source of amusement.\\nSometimes dogs react to the TV. Have you ever wondered if your dog can watch television? The answer is yes and they actually can have favourite shows too! Here are some factors can that draw your pet's attention to the TV:\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\\/460px-From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\\/728px-From-My-Phone-013.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":259,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":410,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>Image by: Uploader<br>\\\\nLicense: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nYour dog may commence barking the split second he or she sees an animal on the television. They become territorial, barking at the perceived threat as vehemently as they would if the animal was standing in the same room. They become protective of their home and family!\\nDogs become familiar with particular shows or commercials. For some, just a few bars of a theme song or the melody of a bark-able commercial can be enough to send them into a tail spin.\\nTaking a dog on a play-date can be particularly amusing. There can be multiple dogs sleeping in a recreation room where a TV is on. It takes just one to spy a dog on the TV to turn quiet time into a ruckus of barking. It is as if they take turns patrolling, a nonverbal pact to wake the others in the event of an intrusion!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoying Every Moment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build memories.\", \"描述\": \"Take your pal to smell the flowers in the spring! Soak up the summer sunshine! Play together in the fallen leaves and watch your dog prance and frolic in the snow! Commemorate the special times with pictures and home movies through the wonders of modern technology.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Celebrate birthdays.\", \"描述\": \"You may not know the exact date your furry pal was born, but you can celebrate the day they came into your life. There are many recipes on the internet for canine-friendly birthday cakes to help with the festivities.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Savor the little things.\", \"描述\": \"Remember the day your dog clawed and scratched their way up onto your brand new bed to wake you with kisses? Remember how disheartened you were at the scratch marks that now gave your bed a \\\"new look\\\"? How about your new shoes that became a tasty treat before you even had a chance to wear them?\\nAs upset and frustrated you may have been at that moment, they will turn into memories that will make you smile over the years. You will run your fingers over the scratches on your bed and feel the love that you and your best pal always shared!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Many years ago, there was a misconception that dogs could not watch TV. In actuality, dogs have always been able to watch TV . When plasma and digital televisions became commonplace, it made \\\"watching\\\" TV even easier for dogs. The picture became even clearer; modern technology allows the TV to process images up to four times more quickly than older televisions.[9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Adopt a pet instead of buying one. While there are many, very legitimate reasons why some cannot adopt a pet, (for example, allergies that create difficulty in adopting a hypo-allergenic pet),[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n) there are many abandoned and rescued animals in shelters.\\n\", \"If you're confused at why your dog is barking, there are some neurological reasons. For example, it turns out that dogs are able to hear an average of seven times better than their human masters. Literature also claims that dogs bark due to fear or anxiety,[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\nmany others conclude that dogs are barking because of the pain of the loud noise.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n While it can be amusing to watch, if your dog is barking profusely, it is their way of saying make the noise stop. If the dog is barking at the loud car noises, try to take him or her somewhere else.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
126 | How to Accept That Your Child is Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual | 1. Talking with Your Child
1-1. Listen to your child when they come out.
If your child comes to you and wants to talk about their sexuality, do your best to give them the space to talk. Let them talk uninterrupted so they really feel like you’re hearing them. Put down distractions, try not to interrupt, and give them your full attention until they’re done.
Make eye contact and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re listening. You might ask things like, “Could you tell me more about that?” or, “I’m not sure I understand. Could you explain that more?”
1-2. Thank them for opening up to you.
Coming out isn’t easy, and it was probably hard for your child to do. Even if you aren’t quite sure about their identity or what it means, tell your child that you appreciate them coming to you. That way, they’ll feel safer talking to you in the future.
You might say, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. I know this probably wasn’t easy for you.”
Or, “I really appreciate you confiding in me.”
1-3. Tell your child that you love them.
Unconditional love is important for any child, no matter how old. If they weren’t sure how you’d react or what you’d think about them, they might be worried that their sexuality could affect your relationship. Tell them that you’ll always love them no matter what, and their identity doesn’t change that.
You could try, “I’ll always love you, you know that, right?”
Or, “This doesn’t change how much I love you. You’ll always be my child.”
1-4. Apologize if you reacted poorly at first.
You can’t change what happened, but you can say you’re sorry. If you felt shocked, angry, or confused when your child first came out, you might not have reacted very well. If that’s the case, sit your child down and apologize for how you acted. Explain what you were going through, but don’t make excuses. Try something like:
“I’m really sorry that I yelled at you last week when you first came out. I was surprised and a little upset, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”
“I didn’t mean to brush you off the other day when we were talking. I want you to know that I support you, and I hope you feel comfortable talking to me about this kind of stuff.”
1-5. Check in with your child often.
Keep an open line of communication in case they want to talk again. Children are often changing, and their sexuality or gender expression might vary over time. Ask your child how they’re doing or if there’s anything they want to talk about with you, just in case they have more to share.
You might ask something like, “How’s everything been going lately?” or, “Is there anything you’d like to chat about?”
2. Supporting Your Child
2-1. Support their sexuality, even if you don’t understand it.
You don’t have to know everything about the LGBT+ community to accept your child. If you don’t understand something, it can be easy to reject it completely. However, try to accept what your child tells you, and ask them questions if you don’t understand something. Chances are, they’ll be happy that you’re trying to understand them, and they’ll explain it as best they can.
For instance, if you don’t understand what your child’s sexuality means, you might ask them, “Could you explain what being bisexual means? I’ve heard the term, but I’m not really sure what it means for you.”
2-2. Avoid questioning their sexuality.
Don’t tell your child that what they identify as is “just a phase.” Hearing that their sexual identity isn’t valid can be very hamrful for children. Even if you think that their sexuality might change over the years, don’t tell them that. Accept them for who they are now so they feel totally supported and loved.
This is especially true if your child identifies as bisexual. Bisexual people often hear that their sexuality is “just a phase,” and that they’ll eventually be either straight or gay. However, this isn’t true, and many people identify as bisexual their entire lives.
2-3. Encourage your child’s self-expression.
They may experiment with how they dress or what they look like. Self-expression isn’t necessarily tied to sexuality, but you might notice your child changing up how they look to better match how they feel on the inside. Try to be supportive of these changes, and let them figure out who they are on their own terms.
For instance, if your child wants to change up their wardrobe, you might take them on a shopping spree.
If they want to dye their hair, you could make them an appointment at a local salon.
2-4. Advocate for your child at school.
LGBT+ youth are more likely to be bullied. Make sure that your child feels safe when they’re in class, and check in with them often about their friends and who they hang out with. If your child is being bullied, talk to their teachers or the principal to stop the behavior before it gets worse.
Kids often don’t want to open up about being bullied. You can watch for signs that they might be having trouble at school, like a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, frequent stomach aches, or self-destructive behaviors.
2-5. Let your child come out to other people on their own.
Your child is the only one who can make the decision to come out, so try to respect that. Just because they came out to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll want to come out to their friends, siblings, or teachers. If you aren’t sure who your child has told about their sexuality, be sure to ask them before you talk about it with anyone else.
You might say something like, “I’m excited to see your friends! Have you come out to any of them yet? I don’t want to say the wrong thing if you haven’t.”
3. Educating Yourself
3-1. Research any questions that you might have online.
You might not know everything about the LGBT+ community, and that’s okay. If you have questions that you aren’t comfortable asking your child, head to Google and look them up. There are tons of free resources online for parents that you can peruse, and they can help teach you about sexuality, gender expression, and LGBT+ terminology.
Try looking at sites like Advocates for Youth, The Family Acceptance Project, and Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).
3-2. Talk to friends and family members in your position.
You probably know someone whose child is part of the LGBT+ community. If you do, try chatting with them and asking them what their experience has been like. You two can talk about how you’re adjusting and how your children are doing, too. The more you talk with other people, the better.
You could also talk to friends and family members who are part of the LGBT+ community themselves. They might have some valuable insight that could help you out.
3-3. Examine your own feelings surrounding love and sexuality.
If you have hang-ups about your child’s sexuality, ask yourself why that is. Maybe you just don’t know a ton about LGBT+ sexualities, or maybe you never thought your child would identify as anything except heterosexual. Sit down with yourself and really do a deep dive into your thinking. The more you can address these deeper questions, the better you’ll be able to accept your child.
Your religion or political views may also play a role in how you view the LGBT+ community.
3-4. Make an appointment with a mental health professional if you need to.
It can be tough to change your world views at the drop of a hat. If you’re struggling (and there’s no shame in that), make an appointment with a therapist. They can help you work through your emotions and come up with specific ways to move forward and keep loving your child.
Tips
Studies show that LGBT+ children who are accepted by their parents have much lower rates of mental health problems.[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talking with Your Child\\n1-1. Listen to your child when they come out.\\nIf your child comes to you and wants to talk about their sexuality, do your best to give them the space to talk. Let them talk uninterrupted so they really feel like you’re hearing them. Put down distractions, try not to interrupt, and give them your full attention until they’re done.\\nMake eye contact and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re listening. You might ask things like, “Could you tell me more about that?” or, “I’m not sure I understand. Could you explain that more?”\\n1-2. Thank them for opening up to you.\\nComing out isn’t easy, and it was probably hard for your child to do. Even if you aren’t quite sure about their identity or what it means, tell your child that you appreciate them coming to you. That way, they’ll feel safer talking to you in the future.\\nYou might say, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. I know this probably wasn’t easy for you.”\\nOr, “I really appreciate you confiding in me.”\\n1-3. Tell your child that you love them.\\nUnconditional love is important for any child, no matter how old. If they weren’t sure how you’d react or what you’d think about them, they might be worried that their sexuality could affect your relationship. Tell them that you’ll always love them no matter what, and their identity doesn’t change that.\\nYou could try, “I’ll always love you, you know that, right?”\\nOr, “This doesn’t change how much I love you. You’ll always be my child.”\\n1-4. Apologize if you reacted poorly at first.\\nYou can’t change what happened, but you can say you’re sorry. If you felt shocked, angry, or confused when your child first came out, you might not have reacted very well. If that’s the case, sit your child down and apologize for how you acted. Explain what you were going through, but don’t make excuses. Try something like:\\n“I’m really sorry that I yelled at you last week when you first came out. I was surprised and a little upset, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”\\n“I didn’t mean to brush you off the other day when we were talking. I want you to know that I support you, and I hope you feel comfortable talking to me about this kind of stuff.”\\n1-5. Check in with your child often.\\nKeep an open line of communication in case they want to talk again. Children are often changing, and their sexuality or gender expression might vary over time. Ask your child how they’re doing or if there’s anything they want to talk about with you, just in case they have more to share.\\nYou might ask something like, “How’s everything been going lately?” or, “Is there anything you’d like to chat about?”\\n2. Supporting Your Child\\n2-1. Support their sexuality, even if you don’t understand it.\\nYou don’t have to know everything about the LGBT+ community to accept your child. If you don’t understand something, it can be easy to reject it completely. However, try to accept what your child tells you, and ask them questions if you don’t understand something. Chances are, they’ll be happy that you’re trying to understand them, and they’ll explain it as best they can.\\nFor instance, if you don’t understand what your child’s sexuality means, you might ask them, “Could you explain what being bisexual means? I’ve heard the term, but I’m not really sure what it means for you.”\\n2-2. Avoid questioning their sexuality.\\nDon’t tell your child that what they identify as is “just a phase.” Hearing that their sexual identity isn’t valid can be very hamrful for children. Even if you think that their sexuality might change over the years, don’t tell them that. Accept them for who they are now so they feel totally supported and loved.\\nThis is especially true if your child identifies as bisexual. Bisexual people often hear that their sexuality is “just a phase,” and that they’ll eventually be either straight or gay. However, this isn’t true, and many people identify as bisexual their entire lives.\\n2-3. Encourage your child’s self-expression.\\nThey may experiment with how they dress or what they look like. Self-expression isn’t necessarily tied to sexuality, but you might notice your child changing up how they look to better match how they feel on the inside. Try to be supportive of these changes, and let them figure out who they are on their own terms.\\nFor instance, if your child wants to change up their wardrobe, you might take them on a shopping spree.\\nIf they want to dye their hair, you could make them an appointment at a local salon.\\n2-4. Advocate for your child at school.\\nLGBT+ youth are more likely to be bullied. Make sure that your child feels safe when they’re in class, and check in with them often about their friends and who they hang out with. If your child is being bullied, talk to their teachers or the principal to stop the behavior before it gets worse.\\nKids often don’t want to open up about being bullied. You can watch for signs that they might be having trouble at school, like a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, frequent stomach aches, or self-destructive behaviors.\\n2-5. Let your child come out to other people on their own.\\nYour child is the only one who can make the decision to come out, so try to respect that. Just because they came out to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll want to come out to their friends, siblings, or teachers. If you aren’t sure who your child has told about their sexuality, be sure to ask them before you talk about it with anyone else.\\nYou might say something like, “I’m excited to see your friends! Have you come out to any of them yet? I don’t want to say the wrong thing if you haven’t.”\\n3. Educating Yourself\\n3-1. Research any questions that you might have online.\\nYou might not know everything about the LGBT+ community, and that’s okay. If you have questions that you aren’t comfortable asking your child, head to Google and look them up. There are tons of free resources online for parents that you can peruse, and they can help teach you about sexuality, gender expression, and LGBT+ terminology.\\nTry looking at sites like Advocates for Youth, The Family Acceptance Project, and Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).\\n3-2. Talk to friends and family members in your position.\\nYou probably know someone whose child is part of the LGBT+ community. If you do, try chatting with them and asking them what their experience has been like. You two can talk about how you’re adjusting and how your children are doing, too. The more you talk with other people, the better.\\nYou could also talk to friends and family members who are part of the LGBT+ community themselves. They might have some valuable insight that could help you out.\\n3-3. Examine your own feelings surrounding love and sexuality.\\nIf you have hang-ups about your child’s sexuality, ask yourself why that is. Maybe you just don’t know a ton about LGBT+ sexualities, or maybe you never thought your child would identify as anything except heterosexual. Sit down with yourself and really do a deep dive into your thinking. The more you can address these deeper questions, the better you’ll be able to accept your child.\\nYour religion or political views may also play a role in how you view the LGBT+ community.\\n3-4. Make an appointment with a mental health professional if you need to.\\nIt can be tough to change your world views at the drop of a hat. If you’re struggling (and there’s no shame in that), make an appointment with a therapist. They can help you work through your emotions and come up with specific ways to move forward and keep loving your child.\\nTips\\nStudies show that LGBT+ children who are accepted by their parents have much lower rates of mental health problems.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAmerican Psychological Association\\nLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists\\nGo to source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"As a parent, you probably want what’s best for your child no matter what. But if your child comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, it might come as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a little confused. By learning a little bit more about the LGBT+ community and what your child might be going through, you can accept your child’s sexuality and keep loving them unconditionally.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talking with Your Child\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to your child when they come out.\", \"描述\": \"If your child comes to you and wants to talk about their sexuality, do your best to give them the space to talk. Let them talk uninterrupted so they really feel like you’re hearing them. Put down distractions, try not to interrupt, and give them your full attention until they’re done.\\nMake eye contact and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re listening. You might ask things like, “Could you tell me more about that?” or, “I’m not sure I understand. Could you explain that more?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thank them for opening up to you.\", \"描述\": \"Coming out isn’t easy, and it was probably hard for your child to do. Even if you aren’t quite sure about their identity or what it means, tell your child that you appreciate them coming to you. That way, they’ll feel safer talking to you in the future.\\nYou might say, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. I know this probably wasn’t easy for you.”\\nOr, “I really appreciate you confiding in me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your child that you love them.\", \"描述\": \"Unconditional love is important for any child, no matter how old. If they weren’t sure how you’d react or what you’d think about them, they might be worried that their sexuality could affect your relationship. Tell them that you’ll always love them no matter what, and their identity doesn’t change that.\\nYou could try, “I’ll always love you, you know that, right?”\\nOr, “This doesn’t change how much I love you. You’ll always be my child.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Apologize if you reacted poorly at first.\", \"描述\": \"You can’t change what happened, but you can say you’re sorry. If you felt shocked, angry, or confused when your child first came out, you might not have reacted very well. If that’s the case, sit your child down and apologize for how you acted. Explain what you were going through, but don’t make excuses. Try something like:\\n“I’m really sorry that I yelled at you last week when you first came out. I was surprised and a little upset, but I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”\\n“I didn’t mean to brush you off the other day when we were talking. I want you to know that I support you, and I hope you feel comfortable talking to me about this kind of stuff.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Check in with your child often.\", \"描述\": \"Keep an open line of communication in case they want to talk again. Children are often changing, and their sexuality or gender expression might vary over time. Ask your child how they’re doing or if there’s anything they want to talk about with you, just in case they have more to share.\\nYou might ask something like, “How’s everything been going lately?” or, “Is there anything you’d like to chat about?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Supporting Your Child\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Support their sexuality, even if you don’t understand it.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to know everything about the LGBT+ community to accept your child. If you don’t understand something, it can be easy to reject it completely. However, try to accept what your child tells you, and ask them questions if you don’t understand something. Chances are, they’ll be happy that you’re trying to understand them, and they’ll explain it as best they can.\\nFor instance, if you don’t understand what your child’s sexuality means, you might ask them, “Could you explain what being bisexual means? I’ve heard the term, but I’m not really sure what it means for you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid questioning their sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t tell your child that what they identify as is “just a phase.” Hearing that their sexual identity isn’t valid can be very hamrful for children. Even if you think that their sexuality might change over the years, don’t tell them that. Accept them for who they are now so they feel totally supported and loved.\\nThis is especially true if your child identifies as bisexual. Bisexual people often hear that their sexuality is “just a phase,” and that they’ll eventually be either straight or gay. However, this isn’t true, and many people identify as bisexual their entire lives.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Encourage your child’s self-expression.\", \"描述\": \"They may experiment with how they dress or what they look like. Self-expression isn’t necessarily tied to sexuality, but you might notice your child changing up how they look to better match how they feel on the inside. Try to be supportive of these changes, and let them figure out who they are on their own terms.\\nFor instance, if your child wants to change up their wardrobe, you might take them on a shopping spree.\\nIf they want to dye their hair, you could make them an appointment at a local salon.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Advocate for your child at school.\", \"描述\": \"LGBT+ youth are more likely to be bullied. Make sure that your child feels safe when they’re in class, and check in with them often about their friends and who they hang out with. If your child is being bullied, talk to their teachers or the principal to stop the behavior before it gets worse.\\nKids often don’t want to open up about being bullied. You can watch for signs that they might be having trouble at school, like a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, frequent stomach aches, or self-destructive behaviors.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your child come out to other people on their own.\", \"描述\": \"Your child is the only one who can make the decision to come out, so try to respect that. Just because they came out to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll want to come out to their friends, siblings, or teachers. If you aren’t sure who your child has told about their sexuality, be sure to ask them before you talk about it with anyone else.\\nYou might say something like, “I’m excited to see your friends! Have you come out to any of them yet? I don’t want to say the wrong thing if you haven’t.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Educating Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research any questions that you might have online.\", \"描述\": \"You might not know everything about the LGBT+ community, and that’s okay. If you have questions that you aren’t comfortable asking your child, head to Google and look them up. There are tons of free resources online for parents that you can peruse, and they can help teach you about sexuality, gender expression, and LGBT+ terminology.\\nTry looking at sites like Advocates for Youth, The Family Acceptance Project, and Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to friends and family members in your position.\", \"描述\": \"You probably know someone whose child is part of the LGBT+ community. If you do, try chatting with them and asking them what their experience has been like. You two can talk about how you’re adjusting and how your children are doing, too. The more you talk with other people, the better.\\nYou could also talk to friends and family members who are part of the LGBT+ community themselves. They might have some valuable insight that could help you out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Examine your own feelings surrounding love and sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"If you have hang-ups about your child’s sexuality, ask yourself why that is. Maybe you just don’t know a ton about LGBT+ sexualities, or maybe you never thought your child would identify as anything except heterosexual. Sit down with yourself and really do a deep dive into your thinking. The more you can address these deeper questions, the better you’ll be able to accept your child.\\nYour religion or political views may also play a role in how you view the LGBT+ community.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make an appointment with a mental health professional if you need to.\", \"描述\": \"It can be tough to change your world views at the drop of a hat. If you’re struggling (and there’s no shame in that), make an appointment with a therapist. They can help you work through your emotions and come up with specific ways to move forward and keep loving your child.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Studies show that LGBT+ children who are accepted by their parents have much lower rates of mental health problems.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nAmerican Psychological Association\\nLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists\\nGo to source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
127 | How to Accept That Your Computer Is Slow | 1. Be patient.
If your computer is slow, becoming impatient won't make it any faster.
Don't click anything too fast or try to refresh the page. This will just confuse the computer and it will run even slower. The best thing to do is just let the page or window load.
2. Clear out unnecessary documents.
The more documents you delete, the more space you will have on the computer.
Having more space on your computer can allow everything to run faster. Clear your recycle bin every once in a while to delete unnecessary files.
3. Avoid using several browser tabs at once.
Opening up more than two or three web browser tabs will discombobulate your computer.
Clicking back and forth between several tabs can use up precious RAM and CPU power, and make loading websites take even longer.
4. Save your work often.
If your computer crashes frequently, you could lose important data.
Save everything you work on several times. Everything! The last thing you want is to have your computer crash as you top off that 10-page essay.
5. Only use the internet at non-peak times.
If the internet is slow, wait until other people have logged off to get online.
Consider using the internet when everyone in your household is asleep, or essentially not using the internet.
6. Avoid watching videos.
Forget videos.
If you have slow internet speeds or a very old processor, it can take up to half an hour to load one to two-minute video. Unless you can leave your computer alone for hours to let it load, just forget about it. You can live without online videos!
Tips
If you're that frustrated about your computer's speed, consider switching to Ubuntu or Fedora. These operating systems would probably work faster, and are free. If your computer is VERY old, consider a distro (distribution) made specifically for older computers, such as Puppy Linux, Damn Small Linux, or Lubuntu.
Look around online to see on ways to improving the speed.
Get an expert to have a good, in-depth looking into the causes of it running slow. Most PC repair stores will be able to fix most problems at very reasonable rates.
Warnings
If you decide to put Linux on your old computer (Revive an Old Computer with Linux), avoid using old distributions as they may no longer be supported.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be patient.\\nIf your computer is slow, becoming impatient won't make it any faster.\\nDon't click anything too fast or try to refresh the page. This will just confuse the computer and it will run even slower. The best thing to do is just let the page or window load.\\n2. Clear out unnecessary documents.\\nThe more documents you delete, the more space you will have on the computer.\\nHaving more space on your computer can allow everything to run faster. Clear your recycle bin every once in a while to delete unnecessary files.\\n3. Avoid using several browser tabs at once.\\nOpening up more than two or three web browser tabs will discombobulate your computer.\\nClicking back and forth between several tabs can use up precious RAM and CPU power, and make loading websites take even longer.\\n4. Save your work often.\\nIf your computer crashes frequently, you could lose important data.\\nSave everything you work on several times. Everything! The last thing you want is to have your computer crash as you top off that 10-page essay.\\n5. Only use the internet at non-peak times.\\nIf the internet is slow, wait until other people have logged off to get online.\\nConsider using the internet when everyone in your household is asleep, or essentially not using the internet.\\n6. Avoid watching videos.\\nForget videos.\\nIf you have slow internet speeds or a very old processor, it can take up to half an hour to load one to two-minute video. Unless you can leave your computer alone for hours to let it load, just forget about it. You can live without online videos!\\nTips\\nIf you're that frustrated about your computer's speed, consider switching to Ubuntu or Fedora. These operating systems would probably work faster, and are free. If your computer is VERY old, consider a distro (distribution) made specifically for older computers, such as Puppy Linux, Damn Small Linux, or Lubuntu.\\nLook around online to see on ways to improving the speed.\\nGet an expert to have a good, in-depth looking into the causes of it running slow. Most PC repair stores will be able to fix most problems at very reasonable rates.\\nWarnings\\nIf you decide to put Linux on your old computer (Revive an Old Computer with Linux), avoid using old distributions as they may no longer be supported.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you have DSL or dial-up internet but just don't have the patience or time to let your computer run so slow? Sometimes you just have to face the facts and accept that your computer just isn't the fastest in the world.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your computer is slow, becoming impatient won't make it any faster.\", \"描述\": \"Don't click anything too fast or try to refresh the page. This will just confuse the computer and it will run even slower. The best thing to do is just let the page or window load.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Clear out unnecessary documents.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The more documents you delete, the more space you will have on the computer.\", \"描述\": \"Having more space on your computer can allow everything to run faster. Clear your recycle bin every once in a while to delete unnecessary files.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid using several browser tabs at once.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Opening up more than two or three web browser tabs will discombobulate your computer.\", \"描述\": \"Clicking back and forth between several tabs can use up precious RAM and CPU power, and make loading websites take even longer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Save your work often.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your computer crashes frequently, you could lose important data.\", \"描述\": \"Save everything you work on several times. Everything! The last thing you want is to have your computer crash as you top off that 10-page essay.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Only use the internet at non-peak times.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If the internet is slow, wait until other people have logged off to get online.\", \"描述\": \"Consider using the internet when everyone in your household is asleep, or essentially not using the internet.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid watching videos.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forget videos.\", \"描述\": \"If you have slow internet speeds or a very old processor, it can take up to half an hour to load one to two-minute video. Unless you can leave your computer alone for hours to let it load, just forget about it. You can live without online videos!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you're that frustrated about your computer's speed, consider switching to Ubuntu or Fedora. These operating systems would probably work faster, and are free. If your computer is VERY old, consider a distro (distribution) made specifically for older computers, such as Puppy Linux, Damn Small Linux, or Lubuntu.\\n\", \"Look around online to see on ways to improving the speed.\\n\", \"Get an expert to have a good, in-depth looking into the causes of it running slow. Most PC repair stores will be able to fix most problems at very reasonable rates.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you decide to put Linux on your old computer (Revive an Old Computer with Linux), avoid using old distributions as they may no longer be supported.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
128 | How to Accept That Your Parents Don't Understand You | 1. Empathizing with Your Parents
1-1. Assess your parents' perspectives.
You may feel that your parents are being unfair or uncaring if they do not understand you. This is not necessarily the case. Oftentimes, differences stem from generational divides. Your parents may have reasons for not understanding you or your perspective.
Your parents may have grown up in a culture with different beliefs. Perhaps, for example, your father's father was very strict. Your father may feel pressure to be a "good parent" coming from his father, causing him to not understand your need for freedom or autonomy.
Your parents lack of understanding may also be caused by outside factors unrelated to you. If your mother does not always have time to listen to the problems you're having with your social group at school, think about what she's going through. Is your mother busy? Is she stressed at work or experiencing difficulties with her family? Outside factors may be blocking your mother's ability to understand you.
1-2. Listen to your parents' in depth.
Listening is key to understanding anyone, including your parents. If you want to understand where the divide comes from, talk to your parents and truly engage with what they're saying. Understanding the bigger issues around communication in your family will help you fix the problem.
Listen in every day conversations. Even if your parents are just ranting about work or a co-worker, what they're saying can lead to insight on their values, strengths, and weaknesses. When your parents are talking to you, give them your full attention.
Also, watch body language. Body language can convey a hidden meaning to what someone is saying. For example, your father fidgets a lot and hunches over when he tells you he doesn't want you going to the dance without a chaperone. His body language indicates he's nervous. You may assume he does not understand how much the dance means to you. However, he may merely be an anxious person by nature and his concern for your well-being is overriding his ability to empathize with your needs as a teenager.
1-3. Pay attention to feelings.
When you're listening, pay attention to your parents feelings. If you understand what your parents are feeling, and why they may feel this way, this can give you insight as to why they don't understand you. The more you know, the more you'll be able to accept the lack of understanding.
Imagine what your parents may have felt when they tell you about an experience they have had. For example, say your mom tells you about a friend she had as a child who got involved with a bad crowd and eventually dropped out of high school. Imagine how your may feel about this. Perhaps she's scared of the same thing happening to you.
Ask questions to make sure you're understanding your parents' feelings. For example, "How did losing touch with Shannon make you feel? You must have been scared. Do you have any regrets?"
Try to see how these feelings influence behavior. Maybe your mom is strict with you because of her bad experience with Shannon. Her desire to protect you may be interfering with her ability to understand your need for freedom and autonomy.
1-4. Read books and watch movies about parent/child relationships.
The stories we expose ourselves to can really help develop our sense of empathy and our understanding of the world. If you're struggling with your relationship with your parents, read books and watch films about parent/child relationships. Seeing others cope with a lack of understanding between themselves and their parents can help you learn how to deal.
Explore movies and books by theme. At your library, the online card catalogue may help you search for books by topic. You could type in something like, "Parent/child relationships." On video streaming sites like Netflix, videos may be tagged with similar topics.
Ask your friends, teachers, and a local librarian for recommendations.
As your watch or read, consider what the characters are experiencing and feeling. See if you can make any connections between these stories and your own life. How do the characters deal with their parents not understanding? Are there any coping skills you can adopt yourself?
1-5. Understand your parents want to protect you.
Parents rarely mean to make you feel misunderstood. Your parents are usually trying to protect you from the dangers of the outside world.
Your parents may say things like, "These are the rules in this house and that's it." You may think your parents are dismissing your perspective. However, they may simply not want to explain certain dangers to you.
Your parents were young once as well, and probably do understand, at least to a degree, some of your frustrations with them. As parents, though, their need to protect you comes first.
1-6. Learn the warning signs of emotional abuse.
In rare cases, your parents inability to understand you can be a warning sign of emotional abuse. If your parents routinely dismiss your perspective in a way that is belittling or hostile, you may be a victim of emotional abuse. The situation should be addressed by a therapist before it gets worse.
Think about how your parents talk to you. Do they criticize you in a very intense way, using foul language to put you down? Do they constantly belittle your feelings when you express your opinion or feelings? Your parents may use terms like "worthless" to describe you or refer to you as a "mistake." Your parents may say, "You're being too sensitive" if you get upset at the way they talk to you, for example.
Your parents may also abuse you via neglect. They may, for example, fail to make sure basic needs, like food, shelter, and safety, are met.
Your parents may also expose you to violence, or threaten violence. They may threaten to harm you in a physical way, or threaten a household pet, when they're angry.
Emotional abuse is a problem greater than a simple lack of understanding. If you are being emotionally abused, you should seek the help of other adults to help address the situation.
2. Dealing with Conflicts that Arise from Your Differences
2-1. Plan a talk when an issue comes up.
If you and your parents do not see eye-to-eye, certain conflicts are inevitable. You may find yourself frequently frustrated with a disagreement. When a conflict does come up, talk it out. Plan a good time and place to talk over disagreements.
Pick the right time to talk. Remember that life is busy for adults, so make sure you know your parents' schedules. Think about when your parents are usually free. For example, maybe one or both of your parents are occupied on most weekday nights, but everyone tends to be home on Saturdays.
Choose a location where everyone is comfortable and one that is free from outside distractions. For example, the living room may be a bad option if it contains the TV. Instead, opt to sit around around the kitchen table and talk.
2-2. Identify your problems and your feelings.
Before you talk with your parents, spend some time considering your own point of view. You want to identify the problem and your feelings surrounding it before going into the conversation. This way, you'll be better equipped to express your feelings.
It can help to write it out. Take a piece of paper and jot down the issue you're having. For example, "Mom and Dad won't let me go to a slumber party until I'm 12, so I'm missing my best friend's birthday."
Now that you've identified your problem, write down your feelings. How and why do you feel you're being misunderstood? For example, "I feel like my parents don't understand how much Sophie means to me. I want to be a good friend and go to her party."
2-3. State your point of view with maturity.
Once you're ready to talk out the issue, be mature. You're unlikely to bridge any gaps by going into the situation with anger. Remaining calm, explain to your parents how and why you feel they're being unfair and how you feel you're being misunderstood.
Be clear, direct, and honest with your parents about how you feel. There is no sense withholding any information as you're striving to be understood. For example, state something like, "I feel sad that I can't go to Sophie's party. It's important for me to be a good friend to her, and I feel like you don't understand that."
As you talk, try to understand your parents' point of view. Why might your parents not want you to attend this party? Do they have any good reasons?
2-4. Avoid whining or complaining.
You should not whine or complain when talking to your parents. If you maintain a friendly and respectful tone, you're more likely to communicate effectively. If your parents do not change their minds, do not yell or sulk. Say something like, "I understand you don't want me to go to the party, but I want you to understand where I'm coming from."
2-5. Agree to disagree.
If your parents do not understand you, they may not ever agree with you in regards to certain things. In these cases, part of acceptances is agreeing to disagree. If there's still misunderstanding between you and your parents after a discussion, work on accepting the fact and moving forward.
There may be room for compromise in some situations. For example, your parents may agree you can attend your friend's party, as long as you don't sleepover. However, compromise is not possible in all situations. If you and your parents can't find a way to meet each other halfway, you'll need to agree to disagree.
Remember, you're your own person. You have a set of thoughts, values, and opinions that will not always align with your parents. You can follow your parents' rules, especially if you are still living at home, but keep in mind you do not have to agree with them. It's okay to have differences of opinions between yourself and your parents.
3. Accepting Yourself Despite Disapproval
3-1. Take pride in your strengths.
You do not want to rely solely on your parents' approval, especially if they do not understand you. Learn to take pride in your own unique strengths and skill set, even if your strengths are not necessarily things your parents would value.
Write down a list of your strengths. This can help you affirm your talents and social skills. Include personality strengths, like "I'm a kind person" or "I'm funny" as well as talents or skills. For example, "I'm really good at math."
Your parents may not value all your strengths, which is why it's important you value them. If your parents do not understand you, they may not understand why some of your interests and passions constitute strengths. It's important you believe this yourself.
3-2. Rely on the support of friends.
You need to have a good support network if your parents do not understand you. Seek out supporting friends, who affirm your strengths and believe in you. Do not hang out with anyone who's negative and tends to put others down. A solid friends group can help you feel good about yourself, despite negativity from your parents.
Friends can also help if you're having difficulty with your parents. Talking to someone outside the situation can help you cope. Your friends may also have some insight on how to deal with parents who do not understand.
3-3. Replace self-criticism with encouragement.
You may become more critical of yourself if your parents do not fully understand your strengths. You need to work to shut out the voice of self-criticism and instead focus on encouraging and loving yourself.
Do not be ashamed of your weaknesses or flaws. Everyone has imperfections. Instead of focusing on them, try to pay attention to how your strengths balance out such imperfections.
Think about how you've overcome certain weaknesses, or at least worked within the confines of your flaws. For example, say you get a "B" on a chemistry test. Do not think, "I should have done better. I wish I was smarter." Instead, think, "I know chemistry isn't my best subject. I'm proud I studied and brought up my grade from the last test."
3-4. Seek help in an abusive situation.
If your parents lack of understanding has crossed the line into abuse, it's important you seek outside help. You need to be able to love and accept yourself, and these things can be hard in an abusive situation.
Talk to another adult, such as another relative or the parent of a friend. You can also talk to someone at your school, like a school counselor.
You and your parents may need to see a therapist together. It's important your parents recognize negative habits and learn to treat you better as a person.
Tips
Take your parents to something that you enjoy doing; offer to explain it to them in the same way that a tour guide would. Sharing your interests with your parents can help bridge the gap.
Warnings
If your parents are violent, emotionally or mentally abusive, seek immediate help. There is no excuse for child abuse, no matter how old the child is.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Empathizing with Your Parents\\n1-1. Assess your parents' perspectives.\\nYou may feel that your parents are being unfair or uncaring if they do not understand you. This is not necessarily the case. Oftentimes, differences stem from generational divides. Your parents may have reasons for not understanding you or your perspective.\\nYour parents may have grown up in a culture with different beliefs. Perhaps, for example, your father's father was very strict. Your father may feel pressure to be a \\\"good parent\\\" coming from his father, causing him to not understand your need for freedom or autonomy.\\nYour parents lack of understanding may also be caused by outside factors unrelated to you. If your mother does not always have time to listen to the problems you're having with your social group at school, think about what she's going through. Is your mother busy? Is she stressed at work or experiencing difficulties with her family? Outside factors may be blocking your mother's ability to understand you.\\n1-2. Listen to your parents' in depth.\\nListening is key to understanding anyone, including your parents. If you want to understand where the divide comes from, talk to your parents and truly engage with what they're saying. Understanding the bigger issues around communication in your family will help you fix the problem.\\nListen in every day conversations. Even if your parents are just ranting about work or a co-worker, what they're saying can lead to insight on their values, strengths, and weaknesses. When your parents are talking to you, give them your full attention.\\nAlso, watch body language. Body language can convey a hidden meaning to what someone is saying. For example, your father fidgets a lot and hunches over when he tells you he doesn't want you going to the dance without a chaperone. His body language indicates he's nervous. You may assume he does not understand how much the dance means to you. However, he may merely be an anxious person by nature and his concern for your well-being is overriding his ability to empathize with your needs as a teenager.\\n1-3. Pay attention to feelings.\\nWhen you're listening, pay attention to your parents feelings. If you understand what your parents are feeling, and why they may feel this way, this can give you insight as to why they don't understand you. The more you know, the more you'll be able to accept the lack of understanding.\\nImagine what your parents may have felt when they tell you about an experience they have had. For example, say your mom tells you about a friend she had as a child who got involved with a bad crowd and eventually dropped out of high school. Imagine how your may feel about this. Perhaps she's scared of the same thing happening to you.\\nAsk questions to make sure you're understanding your parents' feelings. For example, \\\"How did losing touch with Shannon make you feel? You must have been scared. Do you have any regrets?\\\"\\nTry to see how these feelings influence behavior. Maybe your mom is strict with you because of her bad experience with Shannon. Her desire to protect you may be interfering with her ability to understand your need for freedom and autonomy.\\n1-4. Read books and watch movies about parent/child relationships.\\nThe stories we expose ourselves to can really help develop our sense of empathy and our understanding of the world. If you're struggling with your relationship with your parents, read books and watch films about parent/child relationships. Seeing others cope with a lack of understanding between themselves and their parents can help you learn how to deal.\\nExplore movies and books by theme. At your library, the online card catalogue may help you search for books by topic. You could type in something like, \\\"Parent/child relationships.\\\" On video streaming sites like Netflix, videos may be tagged with similar topics.\\nAsk your friends, teachers, and a local librarian for recommendations.\\nAs your watch or read, consider what the characters are experiencing and feeling. See if you can make any connections between these stories and your own life. How do the characters deal with their parents not understanding? Are there any coping skills you can adopt yourself?\\n1-5. Understand your parents want to protect you.\\nParents rarely mean to make you feel misunderstood. Your parents are usually trying to protect you from the dangers of the outside world.\\nYour parents may say things like, \\\"These are the rules in this house and that's it.\\\" You may think your parents are dismissing your perspective. However, they may simply not want to explain certain dangers to you.\\nYour parents were young once as well, and probably do understand, at least to a degree, some of your frustrations with them. As parents, though, their need to protect you comes first.\\n1-6. Learn the warning signs of emotional abuse.\\nIn rare cases, your parents inability to understand you can be a warning sign of emotional abuse. If your parents routinely dismiss your perspective in a way that is belittling or hostile, you may be a victim of emotional abuse. The situation should be addressed by a therapist before it gets worse.\\nThink about how your parents talk to you. Do they criticize you in a very intense way, using foul language to put you down? Do they constantly belittle your feelings when you express your opinion or feelings? Your parents may use terms like \\\"worthless\\\" to describe you or refer to you as a \\\"mistake.\\\" Your parents may say, \\\"You're being too sensitive\\\" if you get upset at the way they talk to you, for example.\\nYour parents may also abuse you via neglect. They may, for example, fail to make sure basic needs, like food, shelter, and safety, are met.\\nYour parents may also expose you to violence, or threaten violence. They may threaten to harm you in a physical way, or threaten a household pet, when they're angry.\\nEmotional abuse is a problem greater than a simple lack of understanding. If you are being emotionally abused, you should seek the help of other adults to help address the situation.\\n2. Dealing with Conflicts that Arise from Your Differences\\n2-1. Plan a talk when an issue comes up.\\nIf you and your parents do not see eye-to-eye, certain conflicts are inevitable. You may find yourself frequently frustrated with a disagreement. When a conflict does come up, talk it out. Plan a good time and place to talk over disagreements.\\nPick the right time to talk. Remember that life is busy for adults, so make sure you know your parents' schedules. Think about when your parents are usually free. For example, maybe one or both of your parents are occupied on most weekday nights, but everyone tends to be home on Saturdays.\\nChoose a location where everyone is comfortable and one that is free from outside distractions. For example, the living room may be a bad option if it contains the TV. Instead, opt to sit around around the kitchen table and talk.\\n2-2. Identify your problems and your feelings.\\nBefore you talk with your parents, spend some time considering your own point of view. You want to identify the problem and your feelings surrounding it before going into the conversation. This way, you'll be better equipped to express your feelings.\\nIt can help to write it out. Take a piece of paper and jot down the issue you're having. For example, \\\"Mom and Dad won't let me go to a slumber party until I'm 12, so I'm missing my best friend's birthday.\\\"\\nNow that you've identified your problem, write down your feelings. How and why do you feel you're being misunderstood? For example, \\\"I feel like my parents don't understand how much Sophie means to me. I want to be a good friend and go to her party.\\\"\\n2-3. State your point of view with maturity.\\nOnce you're ready to talk out the issue, be mature. You're unlikely to bridge any gaps by going into the situation with anger. Remaining calm, explain to your parents how and why you feel they're being unfair and how you feel you're being misunderstood.\\nBe clear, direct, and honest with your parents about how you feel. There is no sense withholding any information as you're striving to be understood. For example, state something like, \\\"I feel sad that I can't go to Sophie's party. It's important for me to be a good friend to her, and I feel like you don't understand that.\\\"\\nAs you talk, try to understand your parents' point of view. Why might your parents not want you to attend this party? Do they have any good reasons?\\n2-4. Avoid whining or complaining.\\nYou should not whine or complain when talking to your parents. If you maintain a friendly and respectful tone, you're more likely to communicate effectively. If your parents do not change their minds, do not yell or sulk. Say something like, \\\"I understand you don't want me to go to the party, but I want you to understand where I'm coming from.\\\"\\n2-5. Agree to disagree.\\nIf your parents do not understand you, they may not ever agree with you in regards to certain things. In these cases, part of acceptances is agreeing to disagree. If there's still misunderstanding between you and your parents after a discussion, work on accepting the fact and moving forward.\\nThere may be room for compromise in some situations. For example, your parents may agree you can attend your friend's party, as long as you don't sleepover. However, compromise is not possible in all situations. If you and your parents can't find a way to meet each other halfway, you'll need to agree to disagree.\\nRemember, you're your own person. You have a set of thoughts, values, and opinions that will not always align with your parents. You can follow your parents' rules, especially if you are still living at home, but keep in mind you do not have to agree with them. It's okay to have differences of opinions between yourself and your parents.\\n3. Accepting Yourself Despite Disapproval\\n3-1. Take pride in your strengths.\\nYou do not want to rely solely on your parents' approval, especially if they do not understand you. Learn to take pride in your own unique strengths and skill set, even if your strengths are not necessarily things your parents would value.\\nWrite down a list of your strengths. This can help you affirm your talents and social skills. Include personality strengths, like \\\"I'm a kind person\\\" or \\\"I'm funny\\\" as well as talents or skills. For example, \\\"I'm really good at math.\\\"\\nYour parents may not value all your strengths, which is why it's important you value them. If your parents do not understand you, they may not understand why some of your interests and passions constitute strengths. It's important you believe this yourself.\\n3-2. Rely on the support of friends.\\nYou need to have a good support network if your parents do not understand you. Seek out supporting friends, who affirm your strengths and believe in you. Do not hang out with anyone who's negative and tends to put others down. A solid friends group can help you feel good about yourself, despite negativity from your parents.\\nFriends can also help if you're having difficulty with your parents. Talking to someone outside the situation can help you cope. Your friends may also have some insight on how to deal with parents who do not understand.\\n3-3. Replace self-criticism with encouragement.\\nYou may become more critical of yourself if your parents do not fully understand your strengths. You need to work to shut out the voice of self-criticism and instead focus on encouraging and loving yourself.\\nDo not be ashamed of your weaknesses or flaws. Everyone has imperfections. Instead of focusing on them, try to pay attention to how your strengths balance out such imperfections.\\nThink about how you've overcome certain weaknesses, or at least worked within the confines of your flaws. For example, say you get a \\\"B\\\" on a chemistry test. Do not think, \\\"I should have done better. I wish I was smarter.\\\" Instead, think, \\\"I know chemistry isn't my best subject. I'm proud I studied and brought up my grade from the last test.\\\"\\n3-4. Seek help in an abusive situation.\\nIf your parents lack of understanding has crossed the line into abuse, it's important you seek outside help. You need to be able to love and accept yourself, and these things can be hard in an abusive situation.\\nTalk to another adult, such as another relative or the parent of a friend. You can also talk to someone at your school, like a school counselor.\\nYou and your parents may need to see a therapist together. It's important your parents recognize negative habits and learn to treat you better as a person.\\nTips\\nTake your parents to something that you enjoy doing; offer to explain it to them in the same way that a tour guide would. Sharing your interests with your parents can help bridge the gap.\\nWarnings\\nIf your parents are violent, emotionally or mentally abusive, seek immediate help. There is no excuse for child abuse, no matter how old the child is.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"As you and your parents are from different generations, it's understandable there will be some cultural differences between the two of you. You also may want different things for yourself than your parents want from you. If you want to accept that your parents do not understand you, try to empathize with your parents. If you understand where they're coming from, you're more likely to accept your differences. From there, work on smoothing over any conflicts that arise from those differences. You may feel better if you state your point of view to your parents, but know you may often have to agree to disagree. Lastly, do not let your parents' approval completely control your sense of self. It's okay to feel good and positive about yourself, even when your parents do not quite understand the person you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Empathizing with Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess your parents' perspectives.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel that your parents are being unfair or uncaring if they do not understand you. This is not necessarily the case. Oftentimes, differences stem from generational divides. Your parents may have reasons for not understanding you or your perspective.\\nYour parents may have grown up in a culture with different beliefs. Perhaps, for example, your father's father was very strict. Your father may feel pressure to be a \\\"good parent\\\" coming from his father, causing him to not understand your need for freedom or autonomy.\\nYour parents lack of understanding may also be caused by outside factors unrelated to you. If your mother does not always have time to listen to the problems you're having with your social group at school, think about what she's going through. Is your mother busy? Is she stressed at work or experiencing difficulties with her family? Outside factors may be blocking your mother's ability to understand you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to your parents' in depth.\", \"描述\": \"Listening is key to understanding anyone, including your parents. If you want to understand where the divide comes from, talk to your parents and truly engage with what they're saying. Understanding the bigger issues around communication in your family will help you fix the problem.\\nListen in every day conversations. Even if your parents are just ranting about work or a co-worker, what they're saying can lead to insight on their values, strengths, and weaknesses. When your parents are talking to you, give them your full attention.\\nAlso, watch body language. Body language can convey a hidden meaning to what someone is saying. For example, your father fidgets a lot and hunches over when he tells you he doesn't want you going to the dance without a chaperone. His body language indicates he's nervous. You may assume he does not understand how much the dance means to you. However, he may merely be an anxious person by nature and his concern for your well-being is overriding his ability to empathize with your needs as a teenager.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to feelings.\", \"描述\": \"When you're listening, pay attention to your parents feelings. If you understand what your parents are feeling, and why they may feel this way, this can give you insight as to why they don't understand you. The more you know, the more you'll be able to accept the lack of understanding.\\nImagine what your parents may have felt when they tell you about an experience they have had. For example, say your mom tells you about a friend she had as a child who got involved with a bad crowd and eventually dropped out of high school. Imagine how your may feel about this. Perhaps she's scared of the same thing happening to you.\\nAsk questions to make sure you're understanding your parents' feelings. For example, \\\"How did losing touch with Shannon make you feel? You must have been scared. Do you have any regrets?\\\"\\nTry to see how these feelings influence behavior. Maybe your mom is strict with you because of her bad experience with Shannon. Her desire to protect you may be interfering with her ability to understand your need for freedom and autonomy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Read books and watch movies about parent/child relationships.\", \"描述\": \"The stories we expose ourselves to can really help develop our sense of empathy and our understanding of the world. If you're struggling with your relationship with your parents, read books and watch films about parent/child relationships. Seeing others cope with a lack of understanding between themselves and their parents can help you learn how to deal.\\nExplore movies and books by theme. At your library, the online card catalogue may help you search for books by topic. You could type in something like, \\\"Parent/child relationships.\\\" On video streaming sites like Netflix, videos may be tagged with similar topics.\\nAsk your friends, teachers, and a local librarian for recommendations.\\nAs your watch or read, consider what the characters are experiencing and feeling. See if you can make any connections between these stories and your own life. How do the characters deal with their parents not understanding? Are there any coping skills you can adopt yourself?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Understand your parents want to protect you.\", \"描述\": \"Parents rarely mean to make you feel misunderstood. Your parents are usually trying to protect you from the dangers of the outside world.\\nYour parents may say things like, \\\"These are the rules in this house and that's it.\\\" You may think your parents are dismissing your perspective. However, they may simply not want to explain certain dangers to you.\\nYour parents were young once as well, and probably do understand, at least to a degree, some of your frustrations with them. As parents, though, their need to protect you comes first.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn the warning signs of emotional abuse.\", \"描述\": \"In rare cases, your parents inability to understand you can be a warning sign of emotional abuse. If your parents routinely dismiss your perspective in a way that is belittling or hostile, you may be a victim of emotional abuse. The situation should be addressed by a therapist before it gets worse.\\nThink about how your parents talk to you. Do they criticize you in a very intense way, using foul language to put you down? Do they constantly belittle your feelings when you express your opinion or feelings? Your parents may use terms like \\\"worthless\\\" to describe you or refer to you as a \\\"mistake.\\\" Your parents may say, \\\"You're being too sensitive\\\" if you get upset at the way they talk to you, for example.\\nYour parents may also abuse you via neglect. They may, for example, fail to make sure basic needs, like food, shelter, and safety, are met.\\nYour parents may also expose you to violence, or threaten violence. They may threaten to harm you in a physical way, or threaten a household pet, when they're angry.\\nEmotional abuse is a problem greater than a simple lack of understanding. If you are being emotionally abused, you should seek the help of other adults to help address the situation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Conflicts that Arise from Your Differences\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan a talk when an issue comes up.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your parents do not see eye-to-eye, certain conflicts are inevitable. You may find yourself frequently frustrated with a disagreement. When a conflict does come up, talk it out. Plan a good time and place to talk over disagreements.\\nPick the right time to talk. Remember that life is busy for adults, so make sure you know your parents' schedules. Think about when your parents are usually free. For example, maybe one or both of your parents are occupied on most weekday nights, but everyone tends to be home on Saturdays.\\nChoose a location where everyone is comfortable and one that is free from outside distractions. For example, the living room may be a bad option if it contains the TV. Instead, opt to sit around around the kitchen table and talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Identify your problems and your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Before you talk with your parents, spend some time considering your own point of view. You want to identify the problem and your feelings surrounding it before going into the conversation. This way, you'll be better equipped to express your feelings.\\nIt can help to write it out. Take a piece of paper and jot down the issue you're having. For example, \\\"Mom and Dad won't let me go to a slumber party until I'm 12, so I'm missing my best friend's birthday.\\\"\\nNow that you've identified your problem, write down your feelings. How and why do you feel you're being misunderstood? For example, \\\"I feel like my parents don't understand how much Sophie means to me. I want to be a good friend and go to her party.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"State your point of view with maturity.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're ready to talk out the issue, be mature. You're unlikely to bridge any gaps by going into the situation with anger. Remaining calm, explain to your parents how and why you feel they're being unfair and how you feel you're being misunderstood.\\nBe clear, direct, and honest with your parents about how you feel. There is no sense withholding any information as you're striving to be understood. For example, state something like, \\\"I feel sad that I can't go to Sophie's party. It's important for me to be a good friend to her, and I feel like you don't understand that.\\\"\\nAs you talk, try to understand your parents' point of view. Why might your parents not want you to attend this party? Do they have any good reasons?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid whining or complaining.\", \"描述\": \"You should not whine or complain when talking to your parents. If you maintain a friendly and respectful tone, you're more likely to communicate effectively. If your parents do not change their minds, do not yell or sulk. Say something like, \\\"I understand you don't want me to go to the party, but I want you to understand where I'm coming from.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Agree to disagree.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents do not understand you, they may not ever agree with you in regards to certain things. In these cases, part of acceptances is agreeing to disagree. If there's still misunderstanding between you and your parents after a discussion, work on accepting the fact and moving forward.\\nThere may be room for compromise in some situations. For example, your parents may agree you can attend your friend's party, as long as you don't sleepover. However, compromise is not possible in all situations. If you and your parents can't find a way to meet each other halfway, you'll need to agree to disagree.\\nRemember, you're your own person. You have a set of thoughts, values, and opinions that will not always align with your parents. You can follow your parents' rules, especially if you are still living at home, but keep in mind you do not have to agree with them. It's okay to have differences of opinions between yourself and your parents.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accepting Yourself Despite Disapproval\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take pride in your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"You do not want to rely solely on your parents' approval, especially if they do not understand you. Learn to take pride in your own unique strengths and skill set, even if your strengths are not necessarily things your parents would value.\\nWrite down a list of your strengths. This can help you affirm your talents and social skills. Include personality strengths, like \\\"I'm a kind person\\\" or \\\"I'm funny\\\" as well as talents or skills. For example, \\\"I'm really good at math.\\\"\\nYour parents may not value all your strengths, which is why it's important you value them. If your parents do not understand you, they may not understand why some of your interests and passions constitute strengths. It's important you believe this yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rely on the support of friends.\", \"描述\": \"You need to have a good support network if your parents do not understand you. Seek out supporting friends, who affirm your strengths and believe in you. Do not hang out with anyone who's negative and tends to put others down. A solid friends group can help you feel good about yourself, despite negativity from your parents.\\nFriends can also help if you're having difficulty with your parents. Talking to someone outside the situation can help you cope. Your friends may also have some insight on how to deal with parents who do not understand.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Replace self-criticism with encouragement.\", \"描述\": \"You may become more critical of yourself if your parents do not fully understand your strengths. You need to work to shut out the voice of self-criticism and instead focus on encouraging and loving yourself.\\nDo not be ashamed of your weaknesses or flaws. Everyone has imperfections. Instead of focusing on them, try to pay attention to how your strengths balance out such imperfections.\\nThink about how you've overcome certain weaknesses, or at least worked within the confines of your flaws. For example, say you get a \\\"B\\\" on a chemistry test. Do not think, \\\"I should have done better. I wish I was smarter.\\\" Instead, think, \\\"I know chemistry isn't my best subject. I'm proud I studied and brought up my grade from the last test.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Seek help in an abusive situation.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents lack of understanding has crossed the line into abuse, it's important you seek outside help. You need to be able to love and accept yourself, and these things can be hard in an abusive situation.\\nTalk to another adult, such as another relative or the parent of a friend. You can also talk to someone at your school, like a school counselor.\\nYou and your parents may need to see a therapist together. It's important your parents recognize negative habits and learn to treat you better as a person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Take your parents to something that you enjoy doing; offer to explain it to them in the same way that a tour guide would. Sharing your interests with your parents can help bridge the gap.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If your parents are violent, emotionally or mentally abusive, seek immediate help. There is no excuse for child abuse, no matter how old the child is.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
129 | Accept a Walkie-Talkie Invitation: Talk to Friends | 1. Update Your Devices
1-1. Update your Apple Watch.
Walkie-Talkie only works on watchOS 5.3 or later. To update your watch:
Connect your watch to Wi-Fi.
Open Settings on your watch.
Go to .
Tap .
1-2. Update your iPhone.
You need iOS 12.4 or later to use Walkie-Talkie. To update your iPhone:
Open Settings.
Go to .
Tap .
2. Turn on FaceTime + Walkie-Talkie
2-1. Sign in to FaceTime.
Use your Apple ID to sign in to the FaceTime app on your iPhone.
2-2. Turn on FaceTime.
Your iPhone’s FaceTime needs to be on to use Walkie-Talkie. If FaceTime has been turned off, go to . Then tap the FaceTime toggle to switch it into the ON position.
2-3. Turn on Walkie-Talkie.
On your Apple Watch, tap the toggle next to “Walkie-Talkie” in the Walkie-Talkie app to switch it to the ON position.
If you’re just getting started, check out how to pair your Apple Watch with your iPhone (you can always unpair it later if needed).
3. Calling Friends
3-1. Tap Add Friends.
In the Walkie-Talkie app, tap this button to choose a contact to add. You’ll need to wait for your friend to accept the invitation. Their Walkie-Talkie contact card will turn yellow once they accept.
3-2. Tap the friend you want to call.
You can find your friends list in the Walkie-Talkie app. This will send them a notification to talk using Walkie-Talkie.
3-3. Tap the notification to accept an invite.
You’ll get a notification on your Apple Watch when someone is calling you with Walkie-Talkie.
Tap under the notification to make sure you continue to get Walkie-Talkie invites.
Check the Notification Center if you missed the notification.
If Walkie-Talkie isn’t working, try closing the app and reopening it.
If there’s still an issue, delete the app and redownload it from the Apple Watch App Store.
3-4. Note these additional troubleshooting tips.
The Walkie-Talkie app occasionally has issues sending and receiving notifications. It uses FaceTime to make calls, which can cause problems. Here are a few things you can try to resolve the issue:
Go to FaceTime in the iPhone Settings app. Under the section “you can be reached by FaceTime at,” make sure there is a checkmark next to your email address.
Make a FaceTime call using your iPhone. Then, make a FaceTime call to that person again using the call history in the Apple Watch Phone app. Then, use Walkie-Talkie to call the person.
Send the invite multiple times. It can take several attempts before the invitation shows up.
Turn off Bluetooth. If you have an Apple Watch with a cellular plan, turn off Bluetooth on your iPhone. Then try using Walkie-Talkie to make a call.
Tips
For more general Apple Watch info, check out how to remove an Apple Watch band and how to use your Apple Watch.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Update Your Devices\\n1-1. Update your Apple Watch.\\nWalkie-Talkie only works on watchOS 5.3 or later. To update your watch:\\nConnect your watch to Wi-Fi.\\nOpen Settings on your watch.\\nGo to .\\nTap .\\n1-2. Update your iPhone.\\nYou need iOS 12.4 or later to use Walkie-Talkie. To update your iPhone:\\nOpen Settings.\\nGo to .\\nTap .\\n2. Turn on FaceTime + Walkie-Talkie\\n2-1. Sign in to FaceTime.\\nUse your Apple ID to sign in to the FaceTime app on your iPhone.\\n2-2. Turn on FaceTime.\\nYour iPhone’s FaceTime needs to be on to use Walkie-Talkie. If FaceTime has been turned off, go to . Then tap the FaceTime toggle to switch it into the ON position.\\n2-3. Turn on Walkie-Talkie.\\nOn your Apple Watch, tap the toggle next to “Walkie-Talkie” in the Walkie-Talkie app to switch it to the ON position.\\nIf you’re just getting started, check out how to pair your Apple Watch with your iPhone (you can always unpair it later if needed).\\n3. Calling Friends\\n3-1. Tap Add Friends.\\nIn the Walkie-Talkie app, tap this button to choose a contact to add. You’ll need to wait for your friend to accept the invitation. Their Walkie-Talkie contact card will turn yellow once they accept.\\n3-2. Tap the friend you want to call.\\nYou can find your friends list in the Walkie-Talkie app. This will send them a notification to talk using Walkie-Talkie.\\n3-3. Tap the notification to accept an invite.\\nYou’ll get a notification on your Apple Watch when someone is calling you with Walkie-Talkie.\\nTap under the notification to make sure you continue to get Walkie-Talkie invites.\\nCheck the Notification Center if you missed the notification.\\nIf Walkie-Talkie isn’t working, try closing the app and reopening it.\\nIf there’s still an issue, delete the app and redownload it from the Apple Watch App Store.\\n3-4. Note these additional troubleshooting tips.\\nThe Walkie-Talkie app occasionally has issues sending and receiving notifications. It uses FaceTime to make calls, which can cause problems. Here are a few things you can try to resolve the issue:\\nGo to FaceTime in the iPhone Settings app. Under the section “you can be reached by FaceTime at,” make sure there is a checkmark next to your email address.\\nMake a FaceTime call using your iPhone. Then, make a FaceTime call to that person again using the call history in the Apple Watch Phone app. Then, use Walkie-Talkie to call the person.\\nSend the invite multiple times. It can take several attempts before the invitation shows up.\\nTurn off Bluetooth. If you have an Apple Watch with a cellular plan, turn off Bluetooth on your iPhone. Then try using Walkie-Talkie to make a call.\\nTips\\nFor more general Apple Watch info, check out how to remove an Apple Watch band and how to use your Apple Watch.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want all the fun of a walkie-talkie on your Apple Watch? Try out the Walkie-Talkie feature on your watch! It’s an official Apple feature that allows you to talk one-on-one with your friend via a push-to-talk button. Just tap their invite to start chatting. Note that the invite might need to be sent multiple times for it to appear. This wikiHow guide shows you how to accept a Walkie-Talkie invite on your Apple Watch.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Update Your Devices\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Update your Apple Watch.\", \"描述\": \"Walkie-Talkie only works on watchOS 5.3 or later. To update your watch:\\nConnect your watch to Wi-Fi.\\nOpen Settings on your watch.\\nGo to .\\nTap .\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Update your iPhone.\", \"描述\": \"You need iOS 12.4 or later to use Walkie-Talkie. To update your iPhone:\\nOpen Settings.\\nGo to .\\nTap .\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn on FaceTime + Walkie-Talkie\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sign in to FaceTime.\", \"描述\": \"Use your Apple ID to sign in to the FaceTime app on your iPhone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turn on FaceTime.\", \"描述\": \"Your iPhone’s FaceTime needs to be on to use Walkie-Talkie. If FaceTime has been turned off, go to . Then tap the FaceTime toggle to switch it into the ON position.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn on Walkie-Talkie.\", \"描述\": \"On your Apple Watch, tap the toggle next to “Walkie-Talkie” in the Walkie-Talkie app to switch it to the ON position.\\nIf you’re just getting started, check out how to pair your Apple Watch with your iPhone (you can always unpair it later if needed).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calling Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap Add Friends.\", \"描述\": \"In the Walkie-Talkie app, tap this button to choose a contact to add. You’ll need to wait for your friend to accept the invitation. Their Walkie-Talkie contact card will turn yellow once they accept.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the friend you want to call.\", \"描述\": \"You can find your friends list in the Walkie-Talkie app. This will send them a notification to talk using Walkie-Talkie.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the notification to accept an invite.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll get a notification on your Apple Watch when someone is calling you with Walkie-Talkie.\\nTap under the notification to make sure you continue to get Walkie-Talkie invites.\\nCheck the Notification Center if you missed the notification.\\nIf Walkie-Talkie isn’t working, try closing the app and reopening it.\\nIf there’s still an issue, delete the app and redownload it from the Apple Watch App Store.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Note these additional troubleshooting tips.\", \"描述\": \"The Walkie-Talkie app occasionally has issues sending and receiving notifications. It uses FaceTime to make calls, which can cause problems. Here are a few things you can try to resolve the issue:\\nGo to FaceTime in the iPhone Settings app. Under the section “you can be reached by FaceTime at,” make sure there is a checkmark next to your email address.\\nMake a FaceTime call using your iPhone. Then, make a FaceTime call to that person again using the call history in the Apple Watch Phone app. Then, use Walkie-Talkie to call the person.\\nSend the invite multiple times. It can take several attempts before the invitation shows up.\\nTurn off Bluetooth. If you have an Apple Watch with a cellular plan, turn off Bluetooth on your iPhone. Then try using Walkie-Talkie to make a call.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"For more general Apple Watch info, check out how to remove an Apple Watch band and how to use your Apple Watch.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
130 | How to Accept Who You Are | 1. Celebrating Your Strengths
1-1. Make a list of what makes you awesome.
Grab a sheet of paper and list out your best traits. Don't be shy about it. Write down strengths you admire about yourself as well as compliments you've gotten from others.
For instance, you may include things like “I'm really organized" or “People always say I'm a good speaker.”
You can keep your list of strengths in a book and then refer to it whenever you need a confidence boost. If you ever get thank you notes or positive feedback from other people, put them in the book to help remind you that others appreciate you for who you are.
If you need help determining your strengths, try taking the character assessment at https://www.viacharacter.org/www/.
1-2. Ask for positive feedback from those around you.
By default, you’re never able to see yourself through the same lens that others see you. So, reach out to a few close friends or family members and ask them to identify strengths they see in you.
You might hear the usual compliments, but someone may also identify an area that you don't usually see as a strength. This may sound like “I think you are always there for people when they need you" or “I never hear you gossip and that's a good thing.”
Add these new strengths to your preexisting list of good traits.
1-3. Recite positive affirmations about your best traits daily.
Use the list you've built in a powerful affirmation session each day. Go down the list and read aloud each of the traits, adding “I am” in front of each one.
For instance, you might say “I am really organized” and “I am always there when people need me.”
Upon completing your affirmations, you are likely to feel more confident and empowered about who you are as a person.
1-4. Exercise your strengths in the world around you.
Take on challenges that play to your strengths. This helps you build a “can do" attitude. Over time, you'll start to define yourself less by your mistakes and more by your talents and accomplishments.
If you're super creative, sign up to help make costumes for the school play. If you're a gifted speaker, join a Toastmasters group to further develop the skill.
1-5. Use your good qualities to help others.
Another way to celebrate your strengths is by using them to make other’s lives easier. This can translate to a volunteer commitment in your community or simply pitching in when others need help.
If you're really compassionate, try dedicating some time at a local homeless or animal shelter. If you’re great with kids, offer to babysit your neighbor's kids so the couple can have a date night.
2. Dealing with Shortcomings
2-1. Take ownership for your shortcomings.
You may exert a lot of energy wrestling with your shortcomings, but this only keeps you stuck. Take a moment to label what the issue is and sit with the knowledge that your reaction to this issue is within your power.
For instance, if you feel defeated about your low income, admit that aloud. Say, “My salary affects the way I view myself. I feel helpless.”
Now, empower yourself by imagining that only you can do anything about the situation. You might say something like, “I am the only one who can improve my income.”
Remember that you don't have to be perfect. Learn to accept your weaknesses and shortcomings if they're things you can't change, and find ways to work around them.
2-2. Set realistic goals if you want to change.
Acceptance is all about empowerment, so take a look at your shortcomings and decide if you want to work on them or just leave them be. If you want to change, devise a plan using SMART goals to improve in these areas.
Your goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Avoid vague goals like "I want to be happy." A good SMART goal might be: “I want to go up for a promotion to improve my income or apply for higher-paying jobs. I will do this by the end of the month.”
Try not to overwhelm yourself— only take on one shortcoming (like income) at a time.
Some shortcomings can't be changed, and that's OK. For example, if you think your height is a shortcoming, that's something you can't change. Instead, work on accepting that part of yourself and turning it into a positive.
2-3. Challenge negative self-talk.
Notice negative or self-defeating language and start to question its validity. Ask yourself questions: Is there evidence to prove this claim? Does that statement make you feel bad about yourself? Is there another more empowering way to look at the situation?
For example, you may think “I will never get better at the guitar.” Change the self-talk to something more realistic, like “If I practiced more, I can get better at the guitar. But, right now, my guitar-playing is not a top priority."
This revision helps you view situations more realistically and from a position of self-acceptance (i.e., “I'm okay with not being a great guitar player because it's not my top focus” BUT “I could be better, if I wanted to.”).
2-4. Drop the comparisons and see that you are unique.
Become more aware of when you are comparing yourself to others. When this happens, go back to your strengths list and remind yourself of all the ways you are uniquely gifted.
Typically, you are making comparisons when negative self-talk happens. For example, maybe you criticized your own guitar-playing after hearing a friend play.
2-5. Remove toxic or negative people from your life.
Spot the negative, critical, and judgmental people in your life and start spending less time with them. These are the people who make a lot of comparisons, gossip, or focus on the negative aspects of situations.
Others can get inside your head and undermine your ability to be self-accepting. Getting distance from negative people can help improve your self-acceptance.
3. Practicing Self-Compassion
3-1. Forgive yourself for being human.
Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and say “sorry” to yourself for being judgmental or demeaning. This might sound like, “I'm sorry for beating myself up when I make mistakes. I am only human and all humans are imperfect in some way.”
Do this every time you find yourself in a cycle of criticism or disapproval.
3-2. Generate loving-kindness towards yourself.
Aim to accept and love yourself as you would a close friend. Instead of being hard on yourself when you make a mistake, caress your arm or shoulders as if to say “There, there, don't be sad.”
You might even hug yourself if this feels comfortable, or notice when you need a hug and ask someone else to give you one.
3-3. Adopt a self-care routine.
Regularly engage in activities that affirm your self-worth. Feeding yourself healthy foods, exercising, and going to bed early are all ways to remind yourself that you are good and worthy of nurturing.
Self-care can be anything constructive that makes you feel good, such as soaking in a tub of bath salts, listening to your favorite album, coloring, going for a run, performing self-massage, or cuddling with your dog.
You can even use your self-care routine to counter any negative talk you've had about yourself. For example, if you typically criticize your facial skin, spend extra time applying a face mask and caring for this part of you.
3-4. Find others who lift you up.
Showing compassion for yourself means building relationships with positive, uplifting people who make you feel good about who you are. Identify those people in your life and set an intention to be with them more often.
If you don't have many loved ones who are accepting of you, consider joining a support group or a club relating to a hobby or interest.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Celebrating Your Strengths\\n1-1. Make a list of what makes you awesome.\\nGrab a sheet of paper and list out your best traits. Don't be shy about it. Write down strengths you admire about yourself as well as compliments you've gotten from others.\\nFor instance, you may include things like “I'm really organized\\\" or “People always say I'm a good speaker.”\\nYou can keep your list of strengths in a book and then refer to it whenever you need a confidence boost. If you ever get thank you notes or positive feedback from other people, put them in the book to help remind you that others appreciate you for who you are.\\nIf you need help determining your strengths, try taking the character assessment at https://www.viacharacter.org/www/.\\n1-2. Ask for positive feedback from those around you.\\nBy default, you’re never able to see yourself through the same lens that others see you. So, reach out to a few close friends or family members and ask them to identify strengths they see in you.\\nYou might hear the usual compliments, but someone may also identify an area that you don't usually see as a strength. This may sound like “I think you are always there for people when they need you\\\" or “I never hear you gossip and that's a good thing.”\\nAdd these new strengths to your preexisting list of good traits.\\n1-3. Recite positive affirmations about your best traits daily.\\nUse the list you've built in a powerful affirmation session each day. Go down the list and read aloud each of the traits, adding “I am” in front of each one.\\nFor instance, you might say “I am really organized” and “I am always there when people need me.”\\nUpon completing your affirmations, you are likely to feel more confident and empowered about who you are as a person.\\n1-4. Exercise your strengths in the world around you.\\nTake on challenges that play to your strengths. This helps you build a “can do\\\" attitude. Over time, you'll start to define yourself less by your mistakes and more by your talents and accomplishments.\\nIf you're super creative, sign up to help make costumes for the school play. If you're a gifted speaker, join a Toastmasters group to further develop the skill.\\n1-5. Use your good qualities to help others.\\nAnother way to celebrate your strengths is by using them to make other’s lives easier. This can translate to a volunteer commitment in your community or simply pitching in when others need help.\\nIf you're really compassionate, try dedicating some time at a local homeless or animal shelter. If you’re great with kids, offer to babysit your neighbor's kids so the couple can have a date night.\\n2. Dealing with Shortcomings\\n2-1. Take ownership for your shortcomings.\\nYou may exert a lot of energy wrestling with your shortcomings, but this only keeps you stuck. Take a moment to label what the issue is and sit with the knowledge that your reaction to this issue is within your power.\\nFor instance, if you feel defeated about your low income, admit that aloud. Say, “My salary affects the way I view myself. I feel helpless.”\\nNow, empower yourself by imagining that only you can do anything about the situation. You might say something like, “I am the only one who can improve my income.”\\nRemember that you don't have to be perfect. Learn to accept your weaknesses and shortcomings if they're things you can't change, and find ways to work around them.\\n2-2. Set realistic goals if you want to change.\\nAcceptance is all about empowerment, so take a look at your shortcomings and decide if you want to work on them or just leave them be. If you want to change, devise a plan using SMART goals to improve in these areas.\\nYour goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Avoid vague goals like \\\"I want to be happy.\\\" A good SMART goal might be: “I want to go up for a promotion to improve my income or apply for higher-paying jobs. I will do this by the end of the month.”\\nTry not to overwhelm yourself— only take on one shortcoming (like income) at a time.\\nSome shortcomings can't be changed, and that's OK. For example, if you think your height is a shortcoming, that's something you can't change. Instead, work on accepting that part of yourself and turning it into a positive.\\n2-3. Challenge negative self-talk.\\nNotice negative or self-defeating language and start to question its validity. Ask yourself questions: Is there evidence to prove this claim? Does that statement make you feel bad about yourself? Is there another more empowering way to look at the situation?\\nFor example, you may think “I will never get better at the guitar.” Change the self-talk to something more realistic, like “If I practiced more, I can get better at the guitar. But, right now, my guitar-playing is not a top priority.\\\"\\nThis revision helps you view situations more realistically and from a position of self-acceptance (i.e., “I'm okay with not being a great guitar player because it's not my top focus” BUT “I could be better, if I wanted to.”).\\n2-4. Drop the comparisons and see that you are unique.\\nBecome more aware of when you are comparing yourself to others. When this happens, go back to your strengths list and remind yourself of all the ways you are uniquely gifted.\\nTypically, you are making comparisons when negative self-talk happens. For example, maybe you criticized your own guitar-playing after hearing a friend play.\\n2-5. Remove toxic or negative people from your life.\\nSpot the negative, critical, and judgmental people in your life and start spending less time with them. These are the people who make a lot of comparisons, gossip, or focus on the negative aspects of situations.\\nOthers can get inside your head and undermine your ability to be self-accepting. Getting distance from negative people can help improve your self-acceptance.\\n3. Practicing Self-Compassion\\n3-1. Forgive yourself for being human.\\nReplace self-criticism with self-compassion and say “sorry” to yourself for being judgmental or demeaning. This might sound like, “I'm sorry for beating myself up when I make mistakes. I am only human and all humans are imperfect in some way.”\\nDo this every time you find yourself in a cycle of criticism or disapproval.\\n3-2. Generate loving-kindness towards yourself.\\nAim to accept and love yourself as you would a close friend. Instead of being hard on yourself when you make a mistake, caress your arm or shoulders as if to say “There, there, don't be sad.”\\nYou might even hug yourself if this feels comfortable, or notice when you need a hug and ask someone else to give you one.\\n3-3. Adopt a self-care routine.\\nRegularly engage in activities that affirm your self-worth. Feeding yourself healthy foods, exercising, and going to bed early are all ways to remind yourself that you are good and worthy of nurturing.\\nSelf-care can be anything constructive that makes you feel good, such as soaking in a tub of bath salts, listening to your favorite album, coloring, going for a run, performing self-massage, or cuddling with your dog.\\nYou can even use your self-care routine to counter any negative talk you've had about yourself. For example, if you typically criticize your facial skin, spend extra time applying a face mask and caring for this part of you.\\n3-4. Find others who lift you up.\\nShowing compassion for yourself means building relationships with positive, uplifting people who make you feel good about who you are. Identify those people in your life and set an intention to be with them more often.\\nIf you don't have many loved ones who are accepting of you, consider joining a support group or a club relating to a hobby or interest.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes, you might hear the term self-acceptance and roll your eyes: “How can I improve if I accept myself for who I am? Won't I become lazy or stagnant?” The idea of self-acceptance isn't about not growing or changing. It's about recognizing that you are enough, no matter where you are on your journey. It's about loving and appreciating yourself for what you offer the world around you. Spend some time highlighting your best traits— it's a great way to start developing self-acceptance.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Celebrating Your Strengths\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of what makes you awesome.\", \"描述\": \"Grab a sheet of paper and list out your best traits. Don't be shy about it. Write down strengths you admire about yourself as well as compliments you've gotten from others.\\nFor instance, you may include things like “I'm really organized\\\" or “People always say I'm a good speaker.”\\nYou can keep your list of strengths in a book and then refer to it whenever you need a confidence boost. If you ever get thank you notes or positive feedback from other people, put them in the book to help remind you that others appreciate you for who you are.\\nIf you need help determining your strengths, try taking the character assessment at https://www.viacharacter.org/www/.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask for positive feedback from those around you.\", \"描述\": \"By default, you’re never able to see yourself through the same lens that others see you. So, reach out to a few close friends or family members and ask them to identify strengths they see in you.\\nYou might hear the usual compliments, but someone may also identify an area that you don't usually see as a strength. This may sound like “I think you are always there for people when they need you\\\" or “I never hear you gossip and that's a good thing.”\\nAdd these new strengths to your preexisting list of good traits.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recite positive affirmations about your best traits daily.\", \"描述\": \"Use the list you've built in a powerful affirmation session each day. Go down the list and read aloud each of the traits, adding “I am” in front of each one.\\nFor instance, you might say “I am really organized” and “I am always there when people need me.”\\nUpon completing your affirmations, you are likely to feel more confident and empowered about who you are as a person.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Exercise your strengths in the world around you.\", \"描述\": \"Take on challenges that play to your strengths. This helps you build a “can do\\\" attitude. Over time, you'll start to define yourself less by your mistakes and more by your talents and accomplishments.\\nIf you're super creative, sign up to help make costumes for the school play. If you're a gifted speaker, join a Toastmasters group to further develop the skill.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use your good qualities to help others.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to celebrate your strengths is by using them to make other’s lives easier. This can translate to a volunteer commitment in your community or simply pitching in when others need help.\\nIf you're really compassionate, try dedicating some time at a local homeless or animal shelter. If you’re great with kids, offer to babysit your neighbor's kids so the couple can have a date night.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Shortcomings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take ownership for your shortcomings.\", \"描述\": \"You may exert a lot of energy wrestling with your shortcomings, but this only keeps you stuck. Take a moment to label what the issue is and sit with the knowledge that your reaction to this issue is within your power.\\nFor instance, if you feel defeated about your low income, admit that aloud. Say, “My salary affects the way I view myself. I feel helpless.”\\nNow, empower yourself by imagining that only you can do anything about the situation. You might say something like, “I am the only one who can improve my income.”\\nRemember that you don't have to be perfect. Learn to accept your weaknesses and shortcomings if they're things you can't change, and find ways to work around them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set realistic goals if you want to change.\", \"描述\": \"Acceptance is all about empowerment, so take a look at your shortcomings and decide if you want to work on them or just leave them be. If you want to change, devise a plan using SMART goals to improve in these areas.\\nYour goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Avoid vague goals like \\\"I want to be happy.\\\" A good SMART goal might be: “I want to go up for a promotion to improve my income or apply for higher-paying jobs. I will do this by the end of the month.”\\nTry not to overwhelm yourself— only take on one shortcoming (like income) at a time.\\nSome shortcomings can't be changed, and that's OK. For example, if you think your height is a shortcoming, that's something you can't change. Instead, work on accepting that part of yourself and turning it into a positive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Challenge negative self-talk.\", \"描述\": \"Notice negative or self-defeating language and start to question its validity. Ask yourself questions: Is there evidence to prove this claim? Does that statement make you feel bad about yourself? Is there another more empowering way to look at the situation?\\nFor example, you may think “I will never get better at the guitar.” Change the self-talk to something more realistic, like “If I practiced more, I can get better at the guitar. But, right now, my guitar-playing is not a top priority.\\\"\\nThis revision helps you view situations more realistically and from a position of self-acceptance (i.e., “I'm okay with not being a great guitar player because it's not my top focus” BUT “I could be better, if I wanted to.”).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Drop the comparisons and see that you are unique.\", \"描述\": \"Become more aware of when you are comparing yourself to others. When this happens, go back to your strengths list and remind yourself of all the ways you are uniquely gifted.\\nTypically, you are making comparisons when negative self-talk happens. For example, maybe you criticized your own guitar-playing after hearing a friend play.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remove toxic or negative people from your life.\", \"描述\": \"Spot the negative, critical, and judgmental people in your life and start spending less time with them. These are the people who make a lot of comparisons, gossip, or focus on the negative aspects of situations.\\nOthers can get inside your head and undermine your ability to be self-accepting. Getting distance from negative people can help improve your self-acceptance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practicing Self-Compassion\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Forgive yourself for being human.\", \"描述\": \"Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and say “sorry” to yourself for being judgmental or demeaning. This might sound like, “I'm sorry for beating myself up when I make mistakes. I am only human and all humans are imperfect in some way.”\\nDo this every time you find yourself in a cycle of criticism or disapproval.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Generate loving-kindness towards yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Aim to accept and love yourself as you would a close friend. Instead of being hard on yourself when you make a mistake, caress your arm or shoulders as if to say “There, there, don't be sad.”\\nYou might even hug yourself if this feels comfortable, or notice when you need a hug and ask someone else to give you one.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Adopt a self-care routine.\", \"描述\": \"Regularly engage in activities that affirm your self-worth. Feeding yourself healthy foods, exercising, and going to bed early are all ways to remind yourself that you are good and worthy of nurturing.\\nSelf-care can be anything constructive that makes you feel good, such as soaking in a tub of bath salts, listening to your favorite album, coloring, going for a run, performing self-massage, or cuddling with your dog.\\nYou can even use your self-care routine to counter any negative talk you've had about yourself. For example, if you typically criticize your facial skin, spend extra time applying a face mask and caring for this part of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find others who lift you up.\", \"描述\": \"Showing compassion for yourself means building relationships with positive, uplifting people who make you feel good about who you are. Identify those people in your life and set an intention to be with them more often.\\nIf you don't have many loved ones who are accepting of you, consider joining a support group or a club relating to a hobby or interest.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
131 | How to Accept Your Autism | 1. Seeing Autism Differently
1-1. Learn about autism from autistic people.
Too often, non-autistic people write about autism without consulting real autistic people. They may come up with inaccuracies, laughable misconceptions, or extremely negative viewpoints on differences that don't hurt anyone. Autistic people can provide you with a more accurate and well-rounded view.
The Autistic community often describes autism in a neutral or positive light. This may help you gain a more holistic sense of autism, as opposed to seeing only the negatives.
1-2. Read about the strengths associated with autism.
Autism is a complex neurological condition that comes with several blessings along with its impairments. In fact, there's a growing community of autistic people who believe it's just a form of diversity—not a disorder. You may experience some or all of the following:
These can lead to tremendous expertise, and possibly a very successful career or fun hobby.
Autistic people, in general, have a high sense of social responsibility, or the desire to solve problems and help others.
It is often noted that autistic people focus on the small parts, rather than the big picture. This can lead to remarkable detail-oriented work, where a allistic (non-autistic) person might be unable to focus so clearly on the individual aspects of something.
Autistic people have tested higher on visual and nonverbal intelligence tests.
Autistic people tend to mean what they say, and act as a "voice of reason" without becoming mired in social complexities. Your honesty and genuine spirit can feel refreshing to others.
Autistic people can learn in unusual ways. This provides insights that allistics may never realize, and can become a great asset in collaboration.
1-3. Read about successful autistic people.
Plenty of famous people have been diagnosed or thought to be autistic. Strong special interests, focus, and a unique perspective can lead to innovation and creativity.
Historically, Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Emily Dickinson, Mozart, and more people were thought to be autistic.
Famous autistic people today include Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Adam Young (from Owl City), Temple Grandin and more.
1-4. Consider your special interests.
Special interests are a clear upside of autism: you have an incredible memory about these facts, intense focus, and the ability to act like a walking encyclopedia of information whenever you want. You also get to have a lot of fun doing the things you love.
Most non-autistic people would be jealous of the way you can recall and discuss information.
1-5. Read about the social model of disability.
The social model holds that disability is not caused by defects in the brain or body, but by society's failure to accommodate and accept a certain variation.
For example, most nearsighted people are not disabled: they are fully accommodated within society (glasses, contacts), and have the same opportunities that non-nearsighted people have. Their body can't do the same things, but technology makes up for that, so it is not an issue.
2. Helping Yourself
2-1. Remember that it's okay to be different.
If everyone were just like everyone else, the world would be boring. Your quirks are part of what makes you memorable, and you don't need to censor yourself or try to look "normal." It is absolutely okay to be disabled and to look disabled in public.
Take some time to learn about your own limitations, and talk about those with the people in your life. That way, they won't expect you to do things you aren't able to do.
2-2. Find therapies and treatments that work for you.
Not all autistic people need therapy, but many benefit from it. A good therapy will leave you better off than you were before, and you will gain skills to help you become more well-adjusted. You can also learn coping mechanisms, alternative methods of doing difficult tasks, and how to capitalize on your strengths.
Options include sensory integration therapy, talk therapy, occupational therapy, special diets, behavior therapy, and seeing a psychologist for emotional issues.
Always check with a doctor before altering your diet or attempting an alternative treatment. Some of these are scams.
Be careful about behavior therapies. Some therapies are based on compliance and may hurt more than helping. If your therapist's goal is to make you more normal (rather than more comfortable or more competent), or if you feel upset and anxious about seeing them, then find a better therapist.
2-3. Stop trying to do things
With the media constantly encouraging people to "do your best," sometimes people forget that it's okay to quit. You do not have to put forth 110% effort all the time—this can lead to burnout. If something is draining your energy or adding a lot of stress to your life, stop doing it. Sometimes saying "I quit" is freeing.
Disability doesn't just mean that there are some things you can't do. It can also mean that some things are painful or extremely draining for you. Give yourself permission to quit or find an alternative way.
2-4. Focus on your skills and character strengths.
This will help you spend less energy mourning your disability, and more energy on doing positive things and enjoying your life.
Spend time on your hobbies and things that you're good at. Enjoy the feeling of competence and expertise.
Make a list of your positive traits. Consider both personality traits and skills. Place the list somewhere where it'll be easy to see when you're feeling sad about yourself.
Help other people. Prepare food for the hungry, raise awareness for important causes, or write about your special interest on wikiHow. Effecting a positive change in the world will distract you, help others, and make you feel happier about yourself.
2-5. Practice self-care.
Being disabled can be difficult, and it's important to treat yourself well. Cut out energy drains from your life so you can focus on what matters most to you.
Pushing yourself to meet non-autistic standards will only take a toll on your health. It is okay to ask for academic accommodations, take extra breaks, or quit doing things that are too stressful to achieve.
Pay extra attention to general health advice: sleep for at least 8 hours, eat fruits and vegetables, limit junk food, minimize stress, and exercise regularly (taking walks counts). Self-care is extra important for you, to mitigate stress and help reduce meltdowns and shutdowns.
If you have trouble with self-care, it's okay to ask for help. Assisted living, a group home, or living with family might be better for you. Talk with a doctor, social worker, or therapist if you're struggling. There's no shame in meeting your needs, and it'll free up time for things you love.
2-6. Get a mentor (or two).
Look for people in your life whose judgment you trust: parents, older siblings, relatives, counselors, clergy members, friends, etc. Living in a neurotypical world can be confusing, so it's useful to have people to ask for advice. You can ask questions from "Is this outfit good for an awards ceremony?" to "This person makes me feel awful; what do I do?"
2-7. Stop apologizing for being autistic.
You have the right to ask for accommodations, stim in public, and do what you need to do in order to function. Toning down your behavior is your choice—not something to be pushed or coerced out of you. You are not required to act more allistic just because everyone else is used to it.
Try to stop masking your autistic traits when you can. Masking is linked to exhaustion and mental health risks. Try to be yourself more often.
2-8. Recognize that autism is just one piece of who you are—a kind, thoughtful, and lovable human being.
People can love you and your autism. You can love yourself and your autism. You are not a lesser person.
2-9. Talk to someone if you are overwhelmed by self hatred.
Anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues are unfortunately common in autistic people. Identify someone you trust and explain to them how awful you feel.
If you think you may have anxiety and/or depression, try to schedule a doctor's appointment. The doctor can give you a screening and perhaps some helpful medicine.
You are not being selfish or burdensome by sharing negative feelings. People can probably tell if you are feeling awful; they just may not know how to help. If you tell them, this is helpful to them, because then they can know what to do and worry less.
3. Finding Community
3-1. Surround yourself with positive people.
Look for the people in your life who build you up and leave you feeling better than you did before. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Ask if they'd like to get lunch with you, or if you could get together this weekend.
If you usually feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, that's an important pattern to be aware of. Figure out why you feel that way, and whether the relationship is worth maintaining.
3-2. Meet the autistic community.
This can be done by contacting a friendly support group, or through a search online. Learn what autistic people have to say about themselves, their symptoms, and the way they interact with the world. Autistic people, in general, are very welcoming to newly diagnosed or self-diagnosed people.
Autistic people can offer advice and tips to those in need (and often do so, especially online)
The general positivity of the autistic community can help you feel better when you are feeling sad or have low self-esteem.
3-3. Avoid people and organizations that dehumanize you.
Some people and groups think that raising "awareness" for autism makes it okay to say horrible things. You have feelings, and you deserve to be treated like an equal human being. Don't waste time on people who refuse to respect you.
Use the block button on social media if an account is negatively impacting your mood or mental health.
It is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, even if they're family. You don't need their negativity, and you're much better off without them. You are not required to argue that your existence is worthwhile, and it's okay to decide not to waste your time and energy on them.
If you're stuck with these people, you can either educate or avoid them. Educating them can be done by telling them about autism and making an appeal to their desire to be a good person. If you try this and fail, or if you know that they won't respond to reason, it's better to avoid spending time with them and avoid autism-related conversations. You don't deserve to listen to toxic ideas about your existence.
3-4. Get involved with positive autism-related organizations.
They will help you understand yourself better and make a positive contribution to the world.
Many autism self-advocacy groups have a large online presence. You do not need to physically go somewhere to get involved.
If you can't find in-person autism organizations that are any good, try general disability groups. It can be tremendously relieving to spend time with a group where being disabled is viewed as the “norm”.
3-5. Make autistic friends.
Along with the usual benefits of friendship, you can share coping strategies, discuss autism together, and be yourselves without any fear.
Look for autistic people in autism acceptance advocacy groups, special education (if you go there), or disability/autism clubs.
Tips
Remember that even though autism is part of you, it doesn’t define your entire existence. Autism is a significant part of who you are, but it isn’t all of you. A diagnosis is simply a label. An integral part of your identity, but a label nonetheless. You are so much more than autism, so embrace your non-autistic-related strengths as well.
Warnings
Some people think autism is a burden. You don't deserve to be dehumanized by anyone rude or judgmental.
If you struggle with persistent feelings of anger, sadness, or guilt related to your diagnosis, tell someone. Talk to someone you trust, such as your parents, a family member, or a doctor or therapist.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:26",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Seeing Autism Differently\\n1-1. Learn about autism from autistic people.\\nToo often, non-autistic people write about autism without consulting real autistic people. They may come up with inaccuracies, laughable misconceptions, or extremely negative viewpoints on differences that don't hurt anyone. Autistic people can provide you with a more accurate and well-rounded view. \\nThe Autistic community often describes autism in a neutral or positive light. This may help you gain a more holistic sense of autism, as opposed to seeing only the negatives.\\n1-2. Read about the strengths associated with autism.\\nAutism is a complex neurological condition that comes with several blessings along with its impairments. In fact, there's a growing community of autistic people who believe it's just a form of diversity—not a disorder. You may experience some or all of the following: \\n\\n These can lead to tremendous expertise, and possibly a very successful career or fun hobby.\\n\\n Autistic people, in general, have a high sense of social responsibility, or the desire to solve problems and help others.\\n\\n It is often noted that autistic people focus on the small parts, rather than the big picture. This can lead to remarkable detail-oriented work, where a allistic (non-autistic) person might be unable to focus so clearly on the individual aspects of something.\\n Autistic people have tested higher on visual and nonverbal intelligence tests.\\n\\n Autistic people tend to mean what they say, and act as a \\\"voice of reason\\\" without becoming mired in social complexities. Your honesty and genuine spirit can feel refreshing to others.\\n Autistic people can learn in unusual ways. This provides insights that allistics may never realize, and can become a great asset in collaboration.\\n1-3. Read about successful autistic people.\\nPlenty of famous people have been diagnosed or thought to be autistic. Strong special interests, focus, and a unique perspective can lead to innovation and creativity. \\nHistorically, Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Emily Dickinson, Mozart, and more people were thought to be autistic.\\nFamous autistic people today include Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Adam Young (from Owl City), Temple Grandin and more.\\n1-4. Consider your special interests.\\nSpecial interests are a clear upside of autism: you have an incredible memory about these facts, intense focus, and the ability to act like a walking encyclopedia of information whenever you want. You also get to have a lot of fun doing the things you love. \\nMost non-autistic people would be jealous of the way you can recall and discuss information.\\n1-5. Read about the social model of disability.\\nThe social model holds that disability is not caused by defects in the brain or body, but by society's failure to accommodate and accept a certain variation.\\nFor example, most nearsighted people are not disabled: they are fully accommodated within society (glasses, contacts), and have the same opportunities that non-nearsighted people have. Their body can't do the same things, but technology makes up for that, so it is not an issue.\\n2. Helping Yourself\\n2-1. Remember that it's okay to be different.\\nIf everyone were just like everyone else, the world would be boring. Your quirks are part of what makes you memorable, and you don't need to censor yourself or try to look \\\"normal.\\\" It is absolutely okay to be disabled and to look disabled in public. \\nTake some time to learn about your own limitations, and talk about those with the people in your life. That way, they won't expect you to do things you aren't able to do.\\n2-2. Find therapies and treatments that work for you.\\nNot all autistic people need therapy, but many benefit from it. A good therapy will leave you better off than you were before, and you will gain skills to help you become more well-adjusted. You can also learn coping mechanisms, alternative methods of doing difficult tasks, and how to capitalize on your strengths. \\nOptions include sensory integration therapy, talk therapy, occupational therapy, special diets, behavior therapy, and seeing a psychologist for emotional issues.\\nAlways check with a doctor before altering your diet or attempting an alternative treatment. Some of these are scams.\\nBe careful about behavior therapies. Some therapies are based on compliance and may hurt more than helping. If your therapist's goal is to make you more normal (rather than more comfortable or more competent), or if you feel upset and anxious about seeing them, then find a better therapist.\\n2-3. Stop trying to do things\\nWith the media constantly encouraging people to \\\"do your best,\\\" sometimes people forget that it's okay to quit. You do not have to put forth 110% effort all the time—this can lead to burnout. If something is draining your energy or adding a lot of stress to your life, stop doing it. Sometimes saying \\\"I quit\\\" is freeing. \\nDisability doesn't just mean that there are some things you can't do. It can also mean that some things are painful or extremely draining for you. Give yourself permission to quit or find an alternative way.\\n2-4. Focus on your skills and character strengths.\\nThis will help you spend less energy mourning your disability, and more energy on doing positive things and enjoying your life. \\nSpend time on your hobbies and things that you're good at. Enjoy the feeling of competence and expertise.\\nMake a list of your positive traits. Consider both personality traits and skills. Place the list somewhere where it'll be easy to see when you're feeling sad about yourself.\\nHelp other people. Prepare food for the hungry, raise awareness for important causes, or write about your special interest on wikiHow. Effecting a positive change in the world will distract you, help others, and make you feel happier about yourself.\\n2-5. Practice self-care.\\nBeing disabled can be difficult, and it's important to treat yourself well. Cut out energy drains from your life so you can focus on what matters most to you. \\nPushing yourself to meet non-autistic standards will only take a toll on your health. It is okay to ask for academic accommodations, take extra breaks, or quit doing things that are too stressful to achieve.\\nPay extra attention to general health advice: sleep for at least 8 hours, eat fruits and vegetables, limit junk food, minimize stress, and exercise regularly (taking walks counts). Self-care is extra important for you, to mitigate stress and help reduce meltdowns and shutdowns.\\nIf you have trouble with self-care, it's okay to ask for help. Assisted living, a group home, or living with family might be better for you. Talk with a doctor, social worker, or therapist if you're struggling. There's no shame in meeting your needs, and it'll free up time for things you love.\\n2-6. Get a mentor (or two).\\nLook for people in your life whose judgment you trust: parents, older siblings, relatives, counselors, clergy members, friends, etc. Living in a neurotypical world can be confusing, so it's useful to have people to ask for advice. You can ask questions from \\\"Is this outfit good for an awards ceremony?\\\" to \\\"This person makes me feel awful; what do I do?\\\"\\n2-7. Stop apologizing for being autistic.\\nYou have the right to ask for accommodations, stim in public, and do what you need to do in order to function. Toning down your behavior is your choice—not something to be pushed or coerced out of you. You are not required to act more allistic just because everyone else is used to it. \\nTry to stop masking your autistic traits when you can. Masking is linked to exhaustion and mental health risks. Try to be yourself more often.\\n2-8. Recognize that autism is just one piece of who you are—a kind, thoughtful, and lovable human being.\\nPeople can love you and your autism. You can love yourself and your autism. You are not a lesser person.\\n2-9. Talk to someone if you are overwhelmed by self hatred.\\nAnxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues are unfortunately common in autistic people. Identify someone you trust and explain to them how awful you feel. \\nIf you think you may have anxiety and/or depression, try to schedule a doctor's appointment. The doctor can give you a screening and perhaps some helpful medicine.\\nYou are not being selfish or burdensome by sharing negative feelings. People can probably tell if you are feeling awful; they just may not know how to help. If you tell them, this is helpful to them, because then they can know what to do and worry less.\\n3. Finding Community\\n3-1. Surround yourself with positive people.\\nLook for the people in your life who build you up and leave you feeling better than you did before. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Ask if they'd like to get lunch with you, or if you could get together this weekend. \\nIf you usually feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, that's an important pattern to be aware of. Figure out why you feel that way, and whether the relationship is worth maintaining.\\n3-2. Meet the autistic community.\\nThis can be done by contacting a friendly support group, or through a search online. Learn what autistic people have to say about themselves, their symptoms, and the way they interact with the world. Autistic people, in general, are very welcoming to newly diagnosed or self-diagnosed people. \\nAutistic people can offer advice and tips to those in need (and often do so, especially online)\\nThe general positivity of the autistic community can help you feel better when you are feeling sad or have low self-esteem.\\n3-3. Avoid people and organizations that dehumanize you.\\nSome people and groups think that raising \\\"awareness\\\" for autism makes it okay to say horrible things. You have feelings, and you deserve to be treated like an equal human being. Don't waste time on people who refuse to respect you. \\nUse the block button on social media if an account is negatively impacting your mood or mental health.\\nIt is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, even if they're family. You don't need their negativity, and you're much better off without them. You are not required to argue that your existence is worthwhile, and it's okay to decide not to waste your time and energy on them.\\nIf you're stuck with these people, you can either educate or avoid them. Educating them can be done by telling them about autism and making an appeal to their desire to be a good person. If you try this and fail, or if you know that they won't respond to reason, it's better to avoid spending time with them and avoid autism-related conversations. You don't deserve to listen to toxic ideas about your existence.\\n3-4. Get involved with positive autism-related organizations.\\nThey will help you understand yourself better and make a positive contribution to the world. \\nMany autism self-advocacy groups have a large online presence. You do not need to physically go somewhere to get involved.\\nIf you can't find in-person autism organizations that are any good, try general disability groups. It can be tremendously relieving to spend time with a group where being disabled is viewed as the “norm”.\\n3-5. Make autistic friends.\\nAlong with the usual benefits of friendship, you can share coping strategies, discuss autism together, and be yourselves without any fear. \\nLook for autistic people in autism acceptance advocacy groups, special education (if you go there), or disability/autism clubs.\\nTips\\nRemember that even though autism is part of you, it doesn’t define your entire existence. Autism is a significant part of who you are, but it isn’t all of you. A diagnosis is simply a label. An integral part of your identity, but a label nonetheless. You are so much more than autism, so embrace your non-autistic-related strengths as well.\\nWarnings\\nSome people think autism is a burden. You don't deserve to be dehumanized by anyone rude or judgmental.\\nIf you struggle with persistent feelings of anger, sadness, or guilt related to your diagnosis, tell someone. Talk to someone you trust, such as your parents, a family member, or a doctor or therapist.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being autistic can be rough. While you may hear negative things about autism, this isn't the full picture. This article will help you come to terms with your autism so you can focus on being the wonderful human being that you are.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seeing Autism Differently\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn about autism from autistic people.\", \"描述\": \"Too often, non-autistic people write about autism without consulting real autistic people. They may come up with inaccuracies, laughable misconceptions, or extremely negative viewpoints on differences that don't hurt anyone. Autistic people can provide you with a more accurate and well-rounded view. \\nThe Autistic community often describes autism in a neutral or positive light. This may help you gain a more holistic sense of autism, as opposed to seeing only the negatives.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read about the strengths associated with autism.\", \"描述\": \"Autism is a complex neurological condition that comes with several blessings along with its impairments. In fact, there's a growing community of autistic people who believe it's just a form of diversity—not a disorder. You may experience some or all of the following: \\n\\n These can lead to tremendous expertise, and possibly a very successful career or fun hobby.\\n\\n Autistic people, in general, have a high sense of social responsibility, or the desire to solve problems and help others.\\n\\n It is often noted that autistic people focus on the small parts, rather than the big picture. This can lead to remarkable detail-oriented work, where a allistic (non-autistic) person might be unable to focus so clearly on the individual aspects of something.\\n Autistic people have tested higher on visual and nonverbal intelligence tests.\\n\\n Autistic people tend to mean what they say, and act as a \\\"voice of reason\\\" without becoming mired in social complexities. Your honesty and genuine spirit can feel refreshing to others.\\n Autistic people can learn in unusual ways. This provides insights that allistics may never realize, and can become a great asset in collaboration.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Read about successful autistic people.\", \"描述\": \"Plenty of famous people have been diagnosed or thought to be autistic. Strong special interests, focus, and a unique perspective can lead to innovation and creativity. \\nHistorically, Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, Emily Dickinson, Mozart, and more people were thought to be autistic.\\nFamous autistic people today include Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Adam Young (from Owl City), Temple Grandin and more.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider your special interests.\", \"描述\": \"Special interests are a clear upside of autism: you have an incredible memory about these facts, intense focus, and the ability to act like a walking encyclopedia of information whenever you want. You also get to have a lot of fun doing the things you love. \\nMost non-autistic people would be jealous of the way you can recall and discuss information.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Read about the social model of disability.\", \"描述\": \"The social model holds that disability is not caused by defects in the brain or body, but by society's failure to accommodate and accept a certain variation.\\nFor example, most nearsighted people are not disabled: they are fully accommodated within society (glasses, contacts), and have the same opportunities that non-nearsighted people have. Their body can't do the same things, but technology makes up for that, so it is not an issue.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Helping Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that it's okay to be different.\", \"描述\": \"If everyone were just like everyone else, the world would be boring. Your quirks are part of what makes you memorable, and you don't need to censor yourself or try to look \\\"normal.\\\" It is absolutely okay to be disabled and to look disabled in public. \\nTake some time to learn about your own limitations, and talk about those with the people in your life. That way, they won't expect you to do things you aren't able to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find therapies and treatments that work for you.\", \"描述\": \"Not all autistic people need therapy, but many benefit from it. A good therapy will leave you better off than you were before, and you will gain skills to help you become more well-adjusted. You can also learn coping mechanisms, alternative methods of doing difficult tasks, and how to capitalize on your strengths. \\nOptions include sensory integration therapy, talk therapy, occupational therapy, special diets, behavior therapy, and seeing a psychologist for emotional issues.\\nAlways check with a doctor before altering your diet or attempting an alternative treatment. Some of these are scams.\\nBe careful about behavior therapies. Some therapies are based on compliance and may hurt more than helping. If your therapist's goal is to make you more normal (rather than more comfortable or more competent), or if you feel upset and anxious about seeing them, then find a better therapist.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Stop trying to do things\", \"描述\": \"With the media constantly encouraging people to \\\"do your best,\\\" sometimes people forget that it's okay to quit. You do not have to put forth 110% effort all the time—this can lead to burnout. If something is draining your energy or adding a lot of stress to your life, stop doing it. Sometimes saying \\\"I quit\\\" is freeing. \\nDisability doesn't just mean that there are some things you can't do. It can also mean that some things are painful or extremely draining for you. Give yourself permission to quit or find an alternative way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Focus on your skills and character strengths.\", \"描述\": \"This will help you spend less energy mourning your disability, and more energy on doing positive things and enjoying your life. \\nSpend time on your hobbies and things that you're good at. Enjoy the feeling of competence and expertise.\\nMake a list of your positive traits. Consider both personality traits and skills. Place the list somewhere where it'll be easy to see when you're feeling sad about yourself.\\nHelp other people. Prepare food for the hungry, raise awareness for important causes, or write about your special interest on wikiHow. Effecting a positive change in the world will distract you, help others, and make you feel happier about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Being disabled can be difficult, and it's important to treat yourself well. Cut out energy drains from your life so you can focus on what matters most to you. \\nPushing yourself to meet non-autistic standards will only take a toll on your health. It is okay to ask for academic accommodations, take extra breaks, or quit doing things that are too stressful to achieve.\\nPay extra attention to general health advice: sleep for at least 8 hours, eat fruits and vegetables, limit junk food, minimize stress, and exercise regularly (taking walks counts). Self-care is extra important for you, to mitigate stress and help reduce meltdowns and shutdowns.\\nIf you have trouble with self-care, it's okay to ask for help. Assisted living, a group home, or living with family might be better for you. Talk with a doctor, social worker, or therapist if you're struggling. There's no shame in meeting your needs, and it'll free up time for things you love.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get a mentor (or two).\", \"描述\": \"Look for people in your life whose judgment you trust: parents, older siblings, relatives, counselors, clergy members, friends, etc. Living in a neurotypical world can be confusing, so it's useful to have people to ask for advice. You can ask questions from \\\"Is this outfit good for an awards ceremony?\\\" to \\\"This person makes me feel awful; what do I do?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Stop apologizing for being autistic.\", \"描述\": \"You have the right to ask for accommodations, stim in public, and do what you need to do in order to function. Toning down your behavior is your choice—not something to be pushed or coerced out of you. You are not required to act more allistic just because everyone else is used to it. \\nTry to stop masking your autistic traits when you can. Masking is linked to exhaustion and mental health risks. Try to be yourself more often.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Recognize that autism is just one piece of who you are—a kind, thoughtful, and lovable human being.\", \"描述\": \"People can love you and your autism. You can love yourself and your autism. You are not a lesser person.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone if you are overwhelmed by self hatred.\", \"描述\": \"Anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues are unfortunately common in autistic people. Identify someone you trust and explain to them how awful you feel. \\nIf you think you may have anxiety and/or depression, try to schedule a doctor's appointment. The doctor can give you a screening and perhaps some helpful medicine.\\nYou are not being selfish or burdensome by sharing negative feelings. People can probably tell if you are feeling awful; they just may not know how to help. If you tell them, this is helpful to them, because then they can know what to do and worry less.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Community\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Surround yourself with positive people.\", \"描述\": \"Look for the people in your life who build you up and leave you feeling better than you did before. Make an effort to spend more time with them. Ask if they'd like to get lunch with you, or if you could get together this weekend. \\nIf you usually feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, that's an important pattern to be aware of. Figure out why you feel that way, and whether the relationship is worth maintaining.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet the autistic community.\", \"描述\": \"This can be done by contacting a friendly support group, or through a search online. Learn what autistic people have to say about themselves, their symptoms, and the way they interact with the world. Autistic people, in general, are very welcoming to newly diagnosed or self-diagnosed people. \\nAutistic people can offer advice and tips to those in need (and often do so, especially online)\\nThe general positivity of the autistic community can help you feel better when you are feeling sad or have low self-esteem.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid people and organizations that dehumanize you.\", \"描述\": \"Some people and groups think that raising \\\"awareness\\\" for autism makes it okay to say horrible things. You have feelings, and you deserve to be treated like an equal human being. Don't waste time on people who refuse to respect you. \\nUse the block button on social media if an account is negatively impacting your mood or mental health.\\nIt is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, even if they're family. You don't need their negativity, and you're much better off without them. You are not required to argue that your existence is worthwhile, and it's okay to decide not to waste your time and energy on them.\\nIf you're stuck with these people, you can either educate or avoid them. Educating them can be done by telling them about autism and making an appeal to their desire to be a good person. If you try this and fail, or if you know that they won't respond to reason, it's better to avoid spending time with them and avoid autism-related conversations. You don't deserve to listen to toxic ideas about your existence.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get involved with positive autism-related organizations.\", \"描述\": \"They will help you understand yourself better and make a positive contribution to the world. \\nMany autism self-advocacy groups have a large online presence. You do not need to physically go somewhere to get involved.\\nIf you can't find in-person autism organizations that are any good, try general disability groups. It can be tremendously relieving to spend time with a group where being disabled is viewed as the “norm”.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make autistic friends.\", \"描述\": \"Along with the usual benefits of friendship, you can share coping strategies, discuss autism together, and be yourselves without any fear. \\nLook for autistic people in autism acceptance advocacy groups, special education (if you go there), or disability/autism clubs.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember that even though autism is part of you, it doesn’t define your entire existence. Autism is a significant part of who you are, but it isn’t all of you. A diagnosis is simply a label. An integral part of your identity, but a label nonetheless. You are so much more than autism, so embrace your non-autistic-related strengths as well.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Some people think autism is a burden. You don't deserve to be dehumanized by anyone rude or judgmental.\\n\", \"If you struggle with persistent feelings of anger, sadness, or guilt related to your diagnosis, tell someone. Talk to someone you trust, such as your parents, a family member, or a doctor or therapist.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
132 | How to Accept Your Body | 1. Appreciating Your Unique Body
1-1. Recognize what actually gives you pleasure.
Make a list of your most pleasurable moments. Include as many details as possible, such as who you were with, what you were doing, where you were, etc. Reflect on what these have in common. Was it the type of people you were with? The amount of excitement produced? Or simply the setting, like being in nature or in a big city? As you realize the conditions under which your body has received the most pleasure in the past, try maximizing the amount of time you spend in similar situations in the future.
Every person has a unique body, which means you'll need to experiment and find out what gives you pleasure. Research suggests that less than half of Americans describe themselves as particularly happy with their present conditions, partly because they're not entirely certain about what actually makes them happy. Start off simply by thinking back on all of the times you would describe as happy.
1-2. Recognize what you are naturally good at.
Part of having a unique bodily structure and chemistry is coming to terms with the fact that some bodies will naturally be better at some activities than others. If you max out your height growth at 5 foot (1.5 m) 2 inches, for example, odds are you won’t become a world class center in the NBA. But, you might become a particularly good horse jockey. Learning to accept your body means learning to accept that your body is better at performing certain actions as opposed to others. It might take you some time to figure out what activities those are.
If you aren’t sure what activities your body is naturally suited for, spend some time experimenting with ones you’d never imagine yourself to be interested in. Take a class in yoga or pottery. Attend an improvisational performance meeting. Just like Spinoza said, there’s no way to know what your body can do until you do it.
1-3. Identify what you like about your body and appearance.
Even people with terrible body image can find something about their bodies to appreciate. It's important that you learn to love and appreciate all of your good qualities, including physical ones. Don't allow yourself to get hung up on qualities that bother you, only focus on the positive.
For example, you may currently be unhappy with your thighs—perhaps you think they are chubby or scrawny—but try to put a positive spin on this. You may wish you had slightly thinner thighs, but they do an excellent job propelling you up hills. Or, you may think your legs are spindly, but you are among the few that can really pull off wearing skinny-jeans.
1-4. Accept your body as it is.
This means not trying to change who you are or focus on qualities you don't like. Learn to enjoy your body - how you move, feel, and get around. Let go of how you used to look, especially if your body has undergone changes from pregnancy, childbirth, injuries, or medical conditions. Be kind to your body as it is right now.
Don't put yourself on a diet, unless your doctor has advised it. Learn to listen to your body and eat a comfortable amount. Don't deny yourself food or beat yourself up about how much you eat.
2. Learning to Avoid Negative Thoughts about Your Body
2-1. Realize how much time you devote to negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts do nothing to improve your self-image. Spend a day or two actively reflecting upon how often you think about your body. How often do you think or say something negative about your body? How often do you have positive thoughts? Chances are, you are far more critical than positive.
Consider keeping a tally in a journal, note-pad, or on your phone for this task. Carry a notebook with you when possible and quickly jot down each negative thought that comes up. Include whether or not the negative thought was related to the way you might have looked. At the end of the day, you will likely be amazed at how much more negative you are throughout at single day than you realized.
2-2. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
While this may be difficult in the beginning, it's an important part of accepting your body. As soon as you notice yourself starting to have a negative thought, replace it with something positive about yourself. Give yourself time to get into the habit of thinking positively.
Try starting each day by thinking a few positive thoughts. Remind yourself of these thoughts throughout the day when you start feeling critical of yourself. For example, you might say, "I really like the way this new haircut makes me feel."
2-3. Limit your exposure to negative media images.
Try to cut back or stop engaging with television shows, movies, magazines, or blogs that present an unrealistic or negative depiction of the body. Remind yourself that a majority of photos circulating the internet and magazine subscriptions have been altered to make the models pictured appear more in line with standard notions of beauty and sexuality.
Psychologists are worried that with this trend's increase over the last 20 years, such images are creating unrealistic ideals regarding what a body should look like. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by these empty caricatures with no reference in the real world.
2-4. Find a therapist who uses Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Many CBT techniques used by psychologists focus on the present and short-term using goals as therapy. While it's best to see a therapist for CBT, you can begin to practice it on your own. When you notice a negative thought about yourself surface, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and try to locate the evidence for your belief. Has anyone actually told you this aspect of your body was flawed? If so, was the person just trying to hurt you, or maybe making a joke?
Psychologists believe that, in many cases, if you have an unrealistic expectation of how you should look, you'll have a distorted body image. It's important to notice when these unrealistic expectations show up in your thought processes, so that you can hopefully challenge these ideals with concrete information.
2-5. Handle the negative people in your life.
You are already working on being kinder to yourself and focusing on the positive aspects of yourself, but you also need to assess the other people in your life. Do you get criticism from your friends and family? Do they tell you that you need to lose weight, dress differently, or change your hair? If so, it's important that you find ways to address these negative influences.
Keep in mind that you probably won't be able to cut out your close friends and family in the same way that you can stop buying Vogue or watching America's Next Top Model. Even so, if they body-shame you or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to have a respectful, yet firm discussion with them about how their words or behaviors hurt you.
2-6. Mix in different social groups.
As you try out new activities, talk to people you might typically ignore or shy away from. Talking to strangers might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier and better it will get. No matter how uncomfortable you might feel at first, keep in mind that isolating yourself from other people can be even worse, with some research suggesting it can be just as deadly in the long run as obesity. It is important to become more comfortable engaging with new people, especially if the people you are currently around aren’t supportive of your body-image or aren't positive influences.
Brain research suggests that who people love is highly influenced by their brain chemistry, which means you might not always fall in love with the kind of person you imagined for yourself. This can also be true for building close friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage your self-discovery. Simply put, it will be much easier to accept your body and challenge any unrealistic ideals you might have if you're surrounded by people that accept you and your discoveries.
3. Learning to Focus on the Positive
3-1. Pay attention to the compliments you receive.
Rather than look out for criticisms, enjoy the compliments you get. Pay attention to the content of other peoples' compliments and remember them. Write them down so that you can remind yourself of them later, especially during darker moments.
Instead of dismissing other peoples' compliments or convincing yourself that they're just being polite, take them at their word and trust that they are not just humoring you. Consider that others are giving you their honest assessments. Accept their positive words graciously.
3-2. Consistently identify what you like about yourself.
Every time you notice yourself thinking negatively about your body or an aspect of it, remind yourself of something about your body that you like. Make a list of at least ten positive things about yourself, omitting anything appearance-related. Add to the list frequently.
This will help you begin to understand and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of yourself. You'll realize that your body is just one part of your total package.
3-3. Reinvent your relationship with your mirror.
If you spend too much time in front of the mirror, make a rule that you can't say or think anything negative about yourself when you look in it. Instead, use your mirror to identify the positive things you see. If you're still struggling with the mirror, take it away for a while. Studies have shown that you may be more likely to focus on your career or relationship, rather than your looks.
Verbalize positive affirmations in front of the mirror: Say to yourself “You're beautiful!”, “You're amazing,” etc. when standing in front of the mirror. This may feel forced, and you may not initially believe what you're telling yourself, but experts tell us that this process—what they call cognitive behavior therapy—really does work over time.
4. Setting Goals and Making Changes
4-1. Improve your health and well-being.
Part of learning to fully accept and be happy with your body may mean that eventually you change some aspect of it. For example, this might mean that if you are overweight, you hope to lose weight. But, remember that the numbers on the scale are just one aspect of and indicator of your overall health. Make sure that you are scheduling and keeping regular physical exams where you can get all of your “numbers” (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.). This will give you an overall picture of your health and will allow you to discuss your health goals with your doctor.
It's possible that you may need to gain or lose weight to be healthy, but you should also aim to achieve strength, flexibility, and endurance.
4-2. Set positive goals.
Rather than focus on the negative of the goal, highlight the positive. For example, if you decide to begin a work-out regime, avoid framing your goal in terms of how many pounds you want to lose. Instead, have your goal be something positive, like “I'll work out so that I can run two miles without stopping,” or “I'm going to commit to a walking program so that I'll be fit enough to hike part of the Appalachian Trail with my dad.”
You'll have better luck at success (both in terms of achieving your goals and learning to feel better about yourself) if you think of what you hope to accomplish or be able to do better.
4-3. Do physical activities that you enjoy.
Choose activities and exercise programs that you find fun and entertaining, and don't select them solely on the basis of how they can help you change your body. Instead, spend some time trying out new activities and go with the ones you truly enjoy and can get excited about. If you love yoga, for example, then do it, even if you think that you are currently too overweight to look graceful at it. Nearly any fitness program can be adapted for individuals of different sizes and fitness levels.
If you are self-conscious working out in front of other people, consider taking private lessons, working out with a close friend, or working out at home. Be careful not to let your fear of being judged by other people dictate how you will lead your life.
4-4. Adopt your own style.
Don't choose your clothes, make-up, or hair-style simply based on what you think is “appropriate” for someone of your body type or what the fashion magazines say is most flattering. Wear what you want, what you like, and what you feel comfortable in. Choose clothes that reflect your personality, that are comfortable, and that fit your lifestyle and activities.
Try out a wide variety of clothing styles and fits. If you feel confident and beautiful in a style that is considered to be “flattering for body-type X,” then by all means wear it, but do so because you like it, not because you think you're supposed to wear it.
5. Keeping Things in Perspective
5-1. Compare yourself only to yourself.
The world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same. There's no point in comparing yourself to others, regardless of whether the person is a celebrity or classmate sitting next to you. Instead, compare yourself in terms of how you've progressed over time, now that you've created your own realistic goals. For example, you might think to yourself that you've improved your appearance compared to a few years ago.
Don't forget to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't treat or judge yourself any more harshly than you would your friend or anyone else.
5-2. Know when to seek help.
Understand that nearly everyone struggles to maintain positive body image all the time and it's normal to have ups and downs. But, you should also honestly consider if you need to speak with a counselor, doctor, or mental health professional. There are various signs that your body issues are severe and require professional help. Ask yourself the following:
Are you unable to control negative thoughts about yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your perceived flaws?
Does your unhappiness with your appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Do you dread going to work because you're afraid of being seen and judged?
Do you spend an excessive amount of time in front of the mirror each day and/or groom excessively?
Are you unable to stop negatively comparing yourself to others?
Do you avoid being photographed?
Understand that if you struggle with any of these, you'll most likely need help to accept your body. You may possibly have what is known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which typically requires professional help. If left untreated, BDD can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. Even if you are not diagnosed with BDD, know that there is no shame in seeking help and advice rather than struggling on your own.
5-3. Find professional help that works for you.
You have several options when it comes to getting professional help. You can see a mental health therapist and/or counselor and get one-to-one therapy. Or, you could find local support groups for a slightly less formally structured experience. There are even online support groups where you can build relationships with others who suffer from pervasive negative thoughts about their body.
The important thing here is simply finding support from others who are not going to judge your perceptions about yourself. They might even have some helpful tips to offer you.
5-4. Remember that body-image is only one part of a healthy self-image.
It is important that you learn to accept and hopefully love your body, but it's also vital to realize that your self-worth is not defined in any sense by what you look like.
When you think about the people you admire, love and/or respect the most, what qualities spring to mind? Do you value others or yourself only for the physical qualities or because of character and personality traits?
Tips
Put post-it notes on your mirror which identify your good traits. Feel free to include some notes which identify physical traits you appreciate (e.g., “You have gorgeous cheekbones”), but be sure to have some notes which are not just looks-related.
A strong support system is important, since it can be helpful to have advice about your body-image from someone you trust. You can refer back to this when negative thoughts come up.
Be sure to discuss with your doctor any decisions to begin a new diet or exercise program, and be on the lookout for extreme or sudden changes in your body.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Appreciating Your Unique Body\\n1-1. Recognize what actually gives you pleasure.\\nMake a list of your most pleasurable moments. Include as many details as possible, such as who you were with, what you were doing, where you were, etc. Reflect on what these have in common. Was it the type of people you were with? The amount of excitement produced? Or simply the setting, like being in nature or in a big city? As you realize the conditions under which your body has received the most pleasure in the past, try maximizing the amount of time you spend in similar situations in the future.\\nEvery person has a unique body, which means you'll need to experiment and find out what gives you pleasure. Research suggests that less than half of Americans describe themselves as particularly happy with their present conditions, partly because they're not entirely certain about what actually makes them happy. Start off simply by thinking back on all of the times you would describe as happy.\\n1-2. Recognize what you are naturally good at.\\nPart of having a unique bodily structure and chemistry is coming to terms with the fact that some bodies will naturally be better at some activities than others. If you max out your height growth at 5 foot (1.5 m) 2 inches, for example, odds are you won’t become a world class center in the NBA. But, you might become a particularly good horse jockey. Learning to accept your body means learning to accept that your body is better at performing certain actions as opposed to others. It might take you some time to figure out what activities those are.\\nIf you aren’t sure what activities your body is naturally suited for, spend some time experimenting with ones you’d never imagine yourself to be interested in. Take a class in yoga or pottery. Attend an improvisational performance meeting. Just like Spinoza said, there’s no way to know what your body can do until you do it.\\n1-3. Identify what you like about your body and appearance.\\nEven people with terrible body image can find something about their bodies to appreciate. It's important that you learn to love and appreciate all of your good qualities, including physical ones. Don't allow yourself to get hung up on qualities that bother you, only focus on the positive.\\nFor example, you may currently be unhappy with your thighs—perhaps you think they are chubby or scrawny—but try to put a positive spin on this. You may wish you had slightly thinner thighs, but they do an excellent job propelling you up hills. Or, you may think your legs are spindly, but you are among the few that can really pull off wearing skinny-jeans.\\n1-4. Accept your body as it is.\\nThis means not trying to change who you are or focus on qualities you don't like. Learn to enjoy your body - how you move, feel, and get around. Let go of how you used to look, especially if your body has undergone changes from pregnancy, childbirth, injuries, or medical conditions. Be kind to your body as it is right now.\\nDon't put yourself on a diet, unless your doctor has advised it. Learn to listen to your body and eat a comfortable amount. Don't deny yourself food or beat yourself up about how much you eat.\\n2. Learning to Avoid Negative Thoughts about Your Body\\n2-1. Realize how much time you devote to negative thoughts.\\nNegative thoughts do nothing to improve your self-image. Spend a day or two actively reflecting upon how often you think about your body. How often do you think or say something negative about your body? How often do you have positive thoughts? Chances are, you are far more critical than positive.\\nConsider keeping a tally in a journal, note-pad, or on your phone for this task. Carry a notebook with you when possible and quickly jot down each negative thought that comes up. Include whether or not the negative thought was related to the way you might have looked. At the end of the day, you will likely be amazed at how much more negative you are throughout at single day than you realized.\\n2-2. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.\\nWhile this may be difficult in the beginning, it's an important part of accepting your body. As soon as you notice yourself starting to have a negative thought, replace it with something positive about yourself. Give yourself time to get into the habit of thinking positively.\\nTry starting each day by thinking a few positive thoughts. Remind yourself of these thoughts throughout the day when you start feeling critical of yourself. For example, you might say, \\\"I really like the way this new haircut makes me feel.\\\"\\n2-3. Limit your exposure to negative media images.\\nTry to cut back or stop engaging with television shows, movies, magazines, or blogs that present an unrealistic or negative depiction of the body. Remind yourself that a majority of photos circulating the internet and magazine subscriptions have been altered to make the models pictured appear more in line with standard notions of beauty and sexuality.\\nPsychologists are worried that with this trend's increase over the last 20 years, such images are creating unrealistic ideals regarding what a body should look like. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by these empty caricatures with no reference in the real world.\\n2-4. Find a therapist who uses Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).\\nMany CBT techniques used by psychologists focus on the present and short-term using goals as therapy. While it's best to see a therapist for CBT, you can begin to practice it on your own. When you notice a negative thought about yourself surface, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and try to locate the evidence for your belief. Has anyone actually told you this aspect of your body was flawed? If so, was the person just trying to hurt you, or maybe making a joke?\\nPsychologists believe that, in many cases, if you have an unrealistic expectation of how you should look, you'll have a distorted body image. It's important to notice when these unrealistic expectations show up in your thought processes, so that you can hopefully challenge these ideals with concrete information.\\n2-5. Handle the negative people in your life.\\nYou are already working on being kinder to yourself and focusing on the positive aspects of yourself, but you also need to assess the other people in your life. Do you get criticism from your friends and family? Do they tell you that you need to lose weight, dress differently, or change your hair? If so, it's important that you find ways to address these negative influences.\\nKeep in mind that you probably won't be able to cut out your close friends and family in the same way that you can stop buying Vogue or watching America's Next Top Model. Even so, if they body-shame you or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to have a respectful, yet firm discussion with them about how their words or behaviors hurt you.\\n2-6. Mix in different social groups.\\nAs you try out new activities, talk to people you might typically ignore or shy away from. Talking to strangers might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier and better it will get. No matter how uncomfortable you might feel at first, keep in mind that isolating yourself from other people can be even worse, with some research suggesting it can be just as deadly in the long run as obesity. It is important to become more comfortable engaging with new people, especially if the people you are currently around aren’t supportive of your body-image or aren't positive influences.\\nBrain research suggests that who people love is highly influenced by their brain chemistry, which means you might not always fall in love with the kind of person you imagined for yourself. This can also be true for building close friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage your self-discovery. Simply put, it will be much easier to accept your body and challenge any unrealistic ideals you might have if you're surrounded by people that accept you and your discoveries.\\n3. Learning to Focus on the Positive\\n3-1. Pay attention to the compliments you receive.\\nRather than look out for criticisms, enjoy the compliments you get. Pay attention to the content of other peoples' compliments and remember them. Write them down so that you can remind yourself of them later, especially during darker moments.\\nInstead of dismissing other peoples' compliments or convincing yourself that they're just being polite, take them at their word and trust that they are not just humoring you. Consider that others are giving you their honest assessments. Accept their positive words graciously.\\n3-2. Consistently identify what you like about yourself.\\nEvery time you notice yourself thinking negatively about your body or an aspect of it, remind yourself of something about your body that you like. Make a list of at least ten positive things about yourself, omitting anything appearance-related. Add to the list frequently.\\nThis will help you begin to understand and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of yourself. You'll realize that your body is just one part of your total package.\\n3-3. Reinvent your relationship with your mirror.\\nIf you spend too much time in front of the mirror, make a rule that you can't say or think anything negative about yourself when you look in it. Instead, use your mirror to identify the positive things you see. If you're still struggling with the mirror, take it away for a while. Studies have shown that you may be more likely to focus on your career or relationship, rather than your looks.\\nVerbalize positive affirmations in front of the mirror: Say to yourself “You're beautiful!”, “You're amazing,” etc. when standing in front of the mirror. This may feel forced, and you may not initially believe what you're telling yourself, but experts tell us that this process—what they call cognitive behavior therapy—really does work over time.\\n4. Setting Goals and Making Changes\\n4-1. Improve your health and well-being.\\nPart of learning to fully accept and be happy with your body may mean that eventually you change some aspect of it. For example, this might mean that if you are overweight, you hope to lose weight. But, remember that the numbers on the scale are just one aspect of and indicator of your overall health. Make sure that you are scheduling and keeping regular physical exams where you can get all of your “numbers” (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.). This will give you an overall picture of your health and will allow you to discuss your health goals with your doctor.\\nIt's possible that you may need to gain or lose weight to be healthy, but you should also aim to achieve strength, flexibility, and endurance.\\n4-2. Set positive goals.\\nRather than focus on the negative of the goal, highlight the positive. For example, if you decide to begin a work-out regime, avoid framing your goal in terms of how many pounds you want to lose. Instead, have your goal be something positive, like “I'll work out so that I can run two miles without stopping,” or “I'm going to commit to a walking program so that I'll be fit enough to hike part of the Appalachian Trail with my dad.”\\nYou'll have better luck at success (both in terms of achieving your goals and learning to feel better about yourself) if you think of what you hope to accomplish or be able to do better.\\n4-3. Do physical activities that you enjoy.\\nChoose activities and exercise programs that you find fun and entertaining, and don't select them solely on the basis of how they can help you change your body. Instead, spend some time trying out new activities and go with the ones you truly enjoy and can get excited about. If you love yoga, for example, then do it, even if you think that you are currently too overweight to look graceful at it. Nearly any fitness program can be adapted for individuals of different sizes and fitness levels.\\nIf you are self-conscious working out in front of other people, consider taking private lessons, working out with a close friend, or working out at home. Be careful not to let your fear of being judged by other people dictate how you will lead your life.\\n4-4. Adopt your own style.\\nDon't choose your clothes, make-up, or hair-style simply based on what you think is “appropriate” for someone of your body type or what the fashion magazines say is most flattering. Wear what you want, what you like, and what you feel comfortable in. Choose clothes that reflect your personality, that are comfortable, and that fit your lifestyle and activities.\\nTry out a wide variety of clothing styles and fits. If you feel confident and beautiful in a style that is considered to be “flattering for body-type X,” then by all means wear it, but do so because you like it, not because you think you're supposed to wear it.\\n5. Keeping Things in Perspective\\n5-1. Compare yourself only to yourself.\\nThe world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same. There's no point in comparing yourself to others, regardless of whether the person is a celebrity or classmate sitting next to you. Instead, compare yourself in terms of how you've progressed over time, now that you've created your own realistic goals. For example, you might think to yourself that you've improved your appearance compared to a few years ago.\\nDon't forget to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't treat or judge yourself any more harshly than you would your friend or anyone else.\\n5-2. Know when to seek help.\\nUnderstand that nearly everyone struggles to maintain positive body image all the time and it's normal to have ups and downs. But, you should also honestly consider if you need to speak with a counselor, doctor, or mental health professional. There are various signs that your body issues are severe and require professional help. Ask yourself the following:\\nAre you unable to control negative thoughts about yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your perceived flaws?\\nDoes your unhappiness with your appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Do you dread going to work because you're afraid of being seen and judged?\\nDo you spend an excessive amount of time in front of the mirror each day and/or groom excessively?\\nAre you unable to stop negatively comparing yourself to others?\\nDo you avoid being photographed?\\nUnderstand that if you struggle with any of these, you'll most likely need help to accept your body. You may possibly have what is known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which typically requires professional help. If left untreated, BDD can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. Even if you are not diagnosed with BDD, know that there is no shame in seeking help and advice rather than struggling on your own.\\n5-3. Find professional help that works for you.\\nYou have several options when it comes to getting professional help. You can see a mental health therapist and/or counselor and get one-to-one therapy. Or, you could find local support groups for a slightly less formally structured experience. There are even online support groups where you can build relationships with others who suffer from pervasive negative thoughts about their body.\\nThe important thing here is simply finding support from others who are not going to judge your perceptions about yourself. They might even have some helpful tips to offer you.\\n5-4. Remember that body-image is only one part of a healthy self-image.\\nIt is important that you learn to accept and hopefully love your body, but it's also vital to realize that your self-worth is not defined in any sense by what you look like.\\nWhen you think about the people you admire, love and/or respect the most, what qualities spring to mind? Do you value others or yourself only for the physical qualities or because of character and personality traits?\\nTips\\nPut post-it notes on your mirror which identify your good traits. Feel free to include some notes which identify physical traits you appreciate (e.g., “You have gorgeous cheekbones”), but be sure to have some notes which are not just looks-related.\\nA strong support system is important, since it can be helpful to have advice about your body-image from someone you trust. You can refer back to this when negative thoughts come up.\\nBe sure to discuss with your doctor any decisions to begin a new diet or exercise program, and be on the lookout for extreme or sudden changes in your body.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"People are constantly bombarded with unrealistic and potentially harmful images of “ideal” body types. This can make it difficult to accept, love, and feel confident in your own body, which is critical. It's also important to learn what your body can physically do and become comfortable with these capacities. According to philosopher Baruch Spinoza, humans “know not what a body can do,” in the sense that nobody can know exactly what their body is actually capable of doing, at least before experimenting with it. Psychologists note that there is a distinction between how people perceive their bodies and how their bodies engage in actions. In order to accept your body, it’s important to get in touch with both of these aspects of your body on their own terms.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Appreciating Your Unique Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize what actually gives you pleasure.\", \"描述\": \"Make a list of your most pleasurable moments. Include as many details as possible, such as who you were with, what you were doing, where you were, etc. Reflect on what these have in common. Was it the type of people you were with? The amount of excitement produced? Or simply the setting, like being in nature or in a big city? As you realize the conditions under which your body has received the most pleasure in the past, try maximizing the amount of time you spend in similar situations in the future.\\nEvery person has a unique body, which means you'll need to experiment and find out what gives you pleasure. Research suggests that less than half of Americans describe themselves as particularly happy with their present conditions, partly because they're not entirely certain about what actually makes them happy. Start off simply by thinking back on all of the times you would describe as happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize what you are naturally good at.\", \"描述\": \"Part of having a unique bodily structure and chemistry is coming to terms with the fact that some bodies will naturally be better at some activities than others. If you max out your height growth at 5 foot (1.5 m) 2 inches, for example, odds are you won’t become a world class center in the NBA. But, you might become a particularly good horse jockey. Learning to accept your body means learning to accept that your body is better at performing certain actions as opposed to others. It might take you some time to figure out what activities those are.\\nIf you aren’t sure what activities your body is naturally suited for, spend some time experimenting with ones you’d never imagine yourself to be interested in. Take a class in yoga or pottery. Attend an improvisational performance meeting. Just like Spinoza said, there’s no way to know what your body can do until you do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify what you like about your body and appearance.\", \"描述\": \"Even people with terrible body image can find something about their bodies to appreciate. It's important that you learn to love and appreciate all of your good qualities, including physical ones. Don't allow yourself to get hung up on qualities that bother you, only focus on the positive.\\nFor example, you may currently be unhappy with your thighs—perhaps you think they are chubby or scrawny—but try to put a positive spin on this. You may wish you had slightly thinner thighs, but they do an excellent job propelling you up hills. Or, you may think your legs are spindly, but you are among the few that can really pull off wearing skinny-jeans.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept your body as it is.\", \"描述\": \"This means not trying to change who you are or focus on qualities you don't like. Learn to enjoy your body - how you move, feel, and get around. Let go of how you used to look, especially if your body has undergone changes from pregnancy, childbirth, injuries, or medical conditions. Be kind to your body as it is right now.\\nDon't put yourself on a diet, unless your doctor has advised it. Learn to listen to your body and eat a comfortable amount. Don't deny yourself food or beat yourself up about how much you eat.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Learning to Avoid Negative Thoughts about Your Body\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Realize how much time you devote to negative thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Negative thoughts do nothing to improve your self-image. Spend a day or two actively reflecting upon how often you think about your body. How often do you think or say something negative about your body? How often do you have positive thoughts? Chances are, you are far more critical than positive.\\nConsider keeping a tally in a journal, note-pad, or on your phone for this task. Carry a notebook with you when possible and quickly jot down each negative thought that comes up. Include whether or not the negative thought was related to the way you might have looked. At the end of the day, you will likely be amazed at how much more negative you are throughout at single day than you realized.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.\", \"描述\": \"While this may be difficult in the beginning, it's an important part of accepting your body. As soon as you notice yourself starting to have a negative thought, replace it with something positive about yourself. Give yourself time to get into the habit of thinking positively.\\nTry starting each day by thinking a few positive thoughts. Remind yourself of these thoughts throughout the day when you start feeling critical of yourself. For example, you might say, \\\"I really like the way this new haircut makes me feel.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Limit your exposure to negative media images.\", \"描述\": \"Try to cut back or stop engaging with television shows, movies, magazines, or blogs that present an unrealistic or negative depiction of the body. Remind yourself that a majority of photos circulating the internet and magazine subscriptions have been altered to make the models pictured appear more in line with standard notions of beauty and sexuality.\\nPsychologists are worried that with this trend's increase over the last 20 years, such images are creating unrealistic ideals regarding what a body should look like. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by these empty caricatures with no reference in the real world.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a therapist who uses Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).\", \"描述\": \"Many CBT techniques used by psychologists focus on the present and short-term using goals as therapy. While it's best to see a therapist for CBT, you can begin to practice it on your own. When you notice a negative thought about yourself surface, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and try to locate the evidence for your belief. Has anyone actually told you this aspect of your body was flawed? If so, was the person just trying to hurt you, or maybe making a joke?\\nPsychologists believe that, in many cases, if you have an unrealistic expectation of how you should look, you'll have a distorted body image. It's important to notice when these unrealistic expectations show up in your thought processes, so that you can hopefully challenge these ideals with concrete information.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Handle the negative people in your life.\", \"描述\": \"You are already working on being kinder to yourself and focusing on the positive aspects of yourself, but you also need to assess the other people in your life. Do you get criticism from your friends and family? Do they tell you that you need to lose weight, dress differently, or change your hair? If so, it's important that you find ways to address these negative influences.\\nKeep in mind that you probably won't be able to cut out your close friends and family in the same way that you can stop buying Vogue or watching America's Next Top Model. Even so, if they body-shame you or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to have a respectful, yet firm discussion with them about how their words or behaviors hurt you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Mix in different social groups.\", \"描述\": \"As you try out new activities, talk to people you might typically ignore or shy away from. Talking to strangers might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier and better it will get. No matter how uncomfortable you might feel at first, keep in mind that isolating yourself from other people can be even worse, with some research suggesting it can be just as deadly in the long run as obesity. It is important to become more comfortable engaging with new people, especially if the people you are currently around aren’t supportive of your body-image or aren't positive influences.\\nBrain research suggests that who people love is highly influenced by their brain chemistry, which means you might not always fall in love with the kind of person you imagined for yourself. This can also be true for building close friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage your self-discovery. Simply put, it will be much easier to accept your body and challenge any unrealistic ideals you might have if you're surrounded by people that accept you and your discoveries.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Learning to Focus on the Positive\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the compliments you receive.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than look out for criticisms, enjoy the compliments you get. Pay attention to the content of other peoples' compliments and remember them. Write them down so that you can remind yourself of them later, especially during darker moments.\\nInstead of dismissing other peoples' compliments or convincing yourself that they're just being polite, take them at their word and trust that they are not just humoring you. Consider that others are giving you their honest assessments. Accept their positive words graciously.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consistently identify what you like about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Every time you notice yourself thinking negatively about your body or an aspect of it, remind yourself of something about your body that you like. Make a list of at least ten positive things about yourself, omitting anything appearance-related. Add to the list frequently.\\nThis will help you begin to understand and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of yourself. You'll realize that your body is just one part of your total package.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reinvent your relationship with your mirror.\", \"描述\": \"If you spend too much time in front of the mirror, make a rule that you can't say or think anything negative about yourself when you look in it. Instead, use your mirror to identify the positive things you see. If you're still struggling with the mirror, take it away for a while. Studies have shown that you may be more likely to focus on your career or relationship, rather than your looks.\\nVerbalize positive affirmations in front of the mirror: Say to yourself “You're beautiful!”, “You're amazing,” etc. when standing in front of the mirror. This may feel forced, and you may not initially believe what you're telling yourself, but experts tell us that this process—what they call cognitive behavior therapy—really does work over time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Setting Goals and Making Changes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Improve your health and well-being.\", \"描述\": \"Part of learning to fully accept and be happy with your body may mean that eventually you change some aspect of it. For example, this might mean that if you are overweight, you hope to lose weight. But, remember that the numbers on the scale are just one aspect of and indicator of your overall health. Make sure that you are scheduling and keeping regular physical exams where you can get all of your “numbers” (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.). This will give you an overall picture of your health and will allow you to discuss your health goals with your doctor.\\nIt's possible that you may need to gain or lose weight to be healthy, but you should also aim to achieve strength, flexibility, and endurance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set positive goals.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than focus on the negative of the goal, highlight the positive. For example, if you decide to begin a work-out regime, avoid framing your goal in terms of how many pounds you want to lose. Instead, have your goal be something positive, like “I'll work out so that I can run two miles without stopping,” or “I'm going to commit to a walking program so that I'll be fit enough to hike part of the Appalachian Trail with my dad.”\\nYou'll have better luck at success (both in terms of achieving your goals and learning to feel better about yourself) if you think of what you hope to accomplish or be able to do better.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do physical activities that you enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"Choose activities and exercise programs that you find fun and entertaining, and don't select them solely on the basis of how they can help you change your body. Instead, spend some time trying out new activities and go with the ones you truly enjoy and can get excited about. If you love yoga, for example, then do it, even if you think that you are currently too overweight to look graceful at it. Nearly any fitness program can be adapted for individuals of different sizes and fitness levels.\\nIf you are self-conscious working out in front of other people, consider taking private lessons, working out with a close friend, or working out at home. Be careful not to let your fear of being judged by other people dictate how you will lead your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adopt your own style.\", \"描述\": \"Don't choose your clothes, make-up, or hair-style simply based on what you think is “appropriate” for someone of your body type or what the fashion magazines say is most flattering. Wear what you want, what you like, and what you feel comfortable in. Choose clothes that reflect your personality, that are comfortable, and that fit your lifestyle and activities.\\nTry out a wide variety of clothing styles and fits. If you feel confident and beautiful in a style that is considered to be “flattering for body-type X,” then by all means wear it, but do so because you like it, not because you think you're supposed to wear it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keeping Things in Perspective\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compare yourself only to yourself.\", \"描述\": \"The world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same. There's no point in comparing yourself to others, regardless of whether the person is a celebrity or classmate sitting next to you. Instead, compare yourself in terms of how you've progressed over time, now that you've created your own realistic goals. For example, you might think to yourself that you've improved your appearance compared to a few years ago.\\nDon't forget to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't treat or judge yourself any more harshly than you would your friend or anyone else.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know when to seek help.\", \"描述\": \"Understand that nearly everyone struggles to maintain positive body image all the time and it's normal to have ups and downs. But, you should also honestly consider if you need to speak with a counselor, doctor, or mental health professional. There are various signs that your body issues are severe and require professional help. Ask yourself the following:\\nAre you unable to control negative thoughts about yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your perceived flaws?\\nDoes your unhappiness with your appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Do you dread going to work because you're afraid of being seen and judged?\\nDo you spend an excessive amount of time in front of the mirror each day and/or groom excessively?\\nAre you unable to stop negatively comparing yourself to others?\\nDo you avoid being photographed?\\nUnderstand that if you struggle with any of these, you'll most likely need help to accept your body. You may possibly have what is known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which typically requires professional help. If left untreated, BDD can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. Even if you are not diagnosed with BDD, know that there is no shame in seeking help and advice rather than struggling on your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find professional help that works for you.\", \"描述\": \"You have several options when it comes to getting professional help. You can see a mental health therapist and/or counselor and get one-to-one therapy. Or, you could find local support groups for a slightly less formally structured experience. There are even online support groups where you can build relationships with others who suffer from pervasive negative thoughts about their body.\\nThe important thing here is simply finding support from others who are not going to judge your perceptions about yourself. They might even have some helpful tips to offer you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember that body-image is only one part of a healthy self-image.\", \"描述\": \"It is important that you learn to accept and hopefully love your body, but it's also vital to realize that your self-worth is not defined in any sense by what you look like.\\nWhen you think about the people you admire, love and/or respect the most, what qualities spring to mind? Do you value others or yourself only for the physical qualities or because of character and personality traits?\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Put post-it notes on your mirror which identify your good traits. Feel free to include some notes which identify physical traits you appreciate (e.g., “You have gorgeous cheekbones”), but be sure to have some notes which are not just looks-related.\\n\", \"A strong support system is important, since it can be helpful to have advice about your body-image from someone you trust. You can refer back to this when negative thoughts come up.\\n\", \"Be sure to discuss with your doctor any decisions to begin a new diet or exercise program, and be on the lookout for extreme or sudden changes in your body.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
133 | How to Accept Your Boyfriend's Interest in Pornography | 1. Adjusting Your Mindset
1-1. Talk to your boyfriend about it.
Have an open and honest discussion about how his porn use makes you feel. Let him know what you're thinking and feeling, what doubts you have, and ask him some questions about his views on pornography. You'll feel better if you put your feelings out there and let him know what you're thinking and feeling. If he respects you, he'll respect your views and will take the time to listen to you. You can even ask him about his reasons for watching it, if you like, if you are concerned that he is aroused for the wrong reasons.
Just know that many men view their porn watching as a very private activity, just like masturbation, and your boyfriend may not want to discuss every little detail with you.
If you can both be open and understanding of one another, that is a good sign that you can grow together intimately with or without porn.
1-2. Don't try to ban it, but establish each other's boundaries to the relationship.
Unfortunately, if you know you are not okay with porn and you try to keep your significant other from watching it, you may fall into a pattern of being the "porn police". This behavior causes distrust in the relationship, and can cause him to keep his porn use hidden from you, or cause tension and discomfort while talking about the subject. If you feel okay with the porn, the concept of keeping him from watching it should not arise. If it is only certain genres of porn that upset you, make sure to talk about this with him and let him know why it makes you feel the ways you do. If you are unsure, try to imagine yourself watching porn, or maybe you do watch porn. If you can understand the reasons he may have for watching porn or the reasons you enjoy watching porn, you can mutually grow and include the porn into your sex life. Understand your feelings before you act. If you feel tempted to snoop, or pick through his search history, you may find at the end of that road even more distrust and dishonesty. If your boyfriend is okay with you watching porn, and he also thinks it is okay for him to watch porn then the two of you can have a better, open conversation on how you can incorporate it into your bedroom and fulfill each other's fantasies.
Porn is a substance that can be addictive, and if you believe that he may have an issue based off of how the porn effects your relationship, he also has to see that. If he agrees with you and would like to stop using porn not only for the relationship, but also for himself. You can grow together, although it will not be easy and the use of counseling, couples counseling, or online programs like No Fap, will help significantly. If your boyfriend does not see eye-to-eye with you and how you feel, he will most likely do nothing to change, and you cannot change him even if you try.
If he chooses to stop using porn, he will still masturbate and he'll still have fantasies. If you are thinking of banning porn to make your boyfriend only think of you sexually, that is not reasonable. Men and women both fantasize about people who are not their lover, it could be movie stars, people from real life, a cartoon, whatever it may be... It is hypocritical to believe that you can have freedom over your fantasies and he can not.
1-3. Try not to be paranoid during your time together.
When you and your boyfriend are hanging out watching TV, going for a run, or having a romantic dinner, understand that you may have thoughts about the porn and you may question if he is thinking about the porn while you spend time together. For men, usually their porn use is separate from the relationship and used as non-attachment and impersonal fulfillment of pleasure. Enjoy every moment you spend with your boyfriend, and know that he's enjoying every moment too.
1-4. Define what cheating means to you.
You do not think of porn as cheating or you do think of it as cheating. Some men and women are not okay with porn and know how they feel about it being in a relationship. If you are uncomfortable and feel like his excitement of watching other women engage in sexual acts is cheating, then that may mean you are not okay with the porn. Do not feel like you have to rationalize his porn use and discount your feelings. If you feel that it is not cheating, then you probably just think of it as a pleasurable movie, the videos do not pose a threat to your relationship and you may define cheating as being something you can only do with a real person. Your definition of cheating matters, and understanding what your partner's definition of cheating is will help you feel more secure in your relationship or find points where you both will need to find compromise.
1-5. Ask yourself if you have any objections to having porn in your relationship.
If you have values that don't align with the genre of porn he watches, communicate that. If you feel like the porn has a negative effect on your trust for him (if he was hiding it from you) then understand that the porn may not be the core issue, dishonesty could be the primary issue to deal with. It is essential to understand your own feelings and beliefs, and ask yourself if you can see yourself in a long term relationship with your partner and not having an issue with porn. It's important to be honest with yourself an d be clear with your partner.
If you are triggered by porn and have insecurity because it brings you to your past, you may want to explore yourself further and see if porn is the issue or if there is trauma you need to work through. If you have a hard time sorting through your feelings about the porn, seeking a friend who is understanding may help. If you feel that you can't consult a friend, there is professional help or advice online and in person available. It is okay to feel like you are okay with porn and then later feel not okay with it. People change everyday, and getting to know yourself while getting to know another person in a relationship can be difficult.
Identify your insecurities, if any of them root directly to porn and the nature of porn, then you may not be okay with porn itself. If the insecurities you have go back to dishonesty, trust, or intimacy, you should consider bypassing pornography as being an irritant to the initial, core problem.
If you have had cheating boyfriend in the past, or your boyfriend has cheated on you, you may feel like porn is a window for cheating, or that he may still be cheating on you.
2. Taking Action
2-1. Know if he has a real problem with pornography.
There's a difference between being a casual porn watcher and having a porn addiction. If your boyfriend is obsessed with watching porn and sneaks away to watch porn every chance he gets, then he may be having a real problem with a porn addiction and should seek help. Though most of the time this is not the case, it's important to know that it's a possibility.
Ask yourself if his porn habits are affecting your relationship, replacing the time he spends with you, and generally making it difficult to be romantically involved. If this is the case, then you may have a real problem on your hands and should discuss next steps.
2-2. Consider watching porn with him.
While this isn't for every couple, if you see nothing morally objectionable about porn though you have never watched it before, or if you've seen it before and are curious about what it's like to watch porn as a couple, then see if you and your boyfriend can have a kinky time watching porn together. Your boyfriend may not think this is a good idea, and if he doesn't, you shouldn't push him on it too much. And if you do watch it with him, watch it for the enjoyment of watching something sexy together, not to gauge his reaction to see how much he really likes it. This will make him self-conscious and unlikely to enjoy himself.
2-3. Try to use the porn to discuss your boyfriend's sexual fantasies.
Many men say that they watch porn as an escape, and that they'd never want to do the same things with their girlfriend that they see people doing on television. Yet, sometimes the stuff he watches on porn can make him yearn for something with you, even if it's just some harmless role playing or some time spent having sex in a new position or making out in a new location. Talk to him about it to see if the conversation may take your own relationship to a new level.
Your boyfriend may want something in the bedroom but may be too shy to ask unless you press him. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. The fact of the matter is, a lot of porn does objectify women, and you don't have to do anything that makes you feel demeaned or worthless.
And hey, you can use this as a time to tell your boyfriend about any fantasies you may be having as well.
This doesn't mean that your boyfriend will jump for joy when you ask him about what he's watching during his porn solo sessions. It may make him uncomfortable, and that's only natural too.
2-4. Discuss your next steps.
Once you've had an open and honest discussion about watching pornography, then you and your boyfriend can discuss what next steps you can take. Here are some options you may decide on:
Breaking up. Though breaking up over your boyfriend watching a regular amount of porn alone may not be that common, the porn watching can be indicative of larger issues that may have brought the relationship to a status of beyond repair.
Watching it together. If you don't find porn offensive and are curious about what turns your boyfriend on, then this may be an option for you. Just make sure he's comfortable with it.
Having your boyfriend try to watch porn less, or not when there's a chance you may walk in on him, if that's what you really want. Though you don't want to force your boyfriend to curb his desires or to become too secretive around you, this may be the best option you come up with.
2-5. Seek a relationship counselor if it's necessary.
If your boyfriend is suffering from a porn addiction and you want to help him overcome it, then you may choose to see a counselor together, or to have him see a counsellor. Or your conversation about porn may lead to your realization of larger problems in the relationship, such as issues related to infidelity or insecurity. If this is the case, then you may need to seek outside help for your relationship.
Tips
If watching pornography is not okay with you, make yourself heard. If he isn't willing to change it, you'll have to decide whether or not you can accept it. Maybe this isn't the guy for you.
If he has come to you and said he watches porn it is a very good sign. This means he trusts you with a sensitive and sometimes embarrassing subject to talk to loved ones about. You MUST be careful and treat it delicately. Yelling at him or putting him down MAY cause him to watch porn even more by stressing him out.
Watching porn is sometimes, but not always a way out of loneliness, depression, and lack of self confidence. Helping his confidence would be a good place to start but remember to approach this carefully. After all this is not always a problem for men. But tell him if you strongly disapprove and be open to his opinions.
Warnings
He may have issues which will require the advice of a professional therapist. Any behavior that removes you from family or loved ones in an unhealthy way may be an indicator of a sexual dysfunction.
Many men watch porn that may show specific fetishes and fantasies that he enjoys WATCHING but doesn't feel the need to do in reality, so it's unlikely that he's expecting you to want to try everything you may see in the porn he likes. As long as the porn contains no illegal activities and is between consenting adults it's important for you to try to be supportive about the occasional indulgence even if it's something you see as "weird".
Just because he watches porn does not mean he is an addict. In fact, more than likely he is not, since it is a widespread practice.
Honestly talk with him and support him. With porn addiction, usually the first person to find out is the addict. If he has a problem, help him. Addiction to anything is a disease.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Adjusting Your Mindset\\n1-1. Talk to your boyfriend about it.\\nHave an open and honest discussion about how his porn use makes you feel. Let him know what you're thinking and feeling, what doubts you have, and ask him some questions about his views on pornography. You'll feel better if you put your feelings out there and let him know what you're thinking and feeling. If he respects you, he'll respect your views and will take the time to listen to you. You can even ask him about his reasons for watching it, if you like, if you are concerned that he is aroused for the wrong reasons.\\nJust know that many men view their porn watching as a very private activity, just like masturbation, and your boyfriend may not want to discuss every little detail with you.\\nIf you can both be open and understanding of one another, that is a good sign that you can grow together intimately with or without porn.\\n1-2. Don't try to ban it, but establish each other's boundaries to the relationship.\\nUnfortunately, if you know you are not okay with porn and you try to keep your significant other from watching it, you may fall into a pattern of being the \\\"porn police\\\". This behavior causes distrust in the relationship, and can cause him to keep his porn use hidden from you, or cause tension and discomfort while talking about the subject. If you feel okay with the porn, the concept of keeping him from watching it should not arise. If it is only certain genres of porn that upset you, make sure to talk about this with him and let him know why it makes you feel the ways you do. If you are unsure, try to imagine yourself watching porn, or maybe you do watch porn. If you can understand the reasons he may have for watching porn or the reasons you enjoy watching porn, you can mutually grow and include the porn into your sex life. Understand your feelings before you act. If you feel tempted to snoop, or pick through his search history, you may find at the end of that road even more distrust and dishonesty. If your boyfriend is okay with you watching porn, and he also thinks it is okay for him to watch porn then the two of you can have a better, open conversation on how you can incorporate it into your bedroom and fulfill each other's fantasies.\\nPorn is a substance that can be addictive, and if you believe that he may have an issue based off of how the porn effects your relationship, he also has to see that. If he agrees with you and would like to stop using porn not only for the relationship, but also for himself. You can grow together, although it will not be easy and the use of counseling, couples counseling, or online programs like No Fap, will help significantly. If your boyfriend does not see eye-to-eye with you and how you feel, he will most likely do nothing to change, and you cannot change him even if you try.\\nIf he chooses to stop using porn, he will still masturbate and he'll still have fantasies. If you are thinking of banning porn to make your boyfriend only think of you sexually, that is not reasonable. Men and women both fantasize about people who are not their lover, it could be movie stars, people from real life, a cartoon, whatever it may be... It is hypocritical to believe that you can have freedom over your fantasies and he can not.\\n1-3. Try not to be paranoid during your time together.\\nWhen you and your boyfriend are hanging out watching TV, going for a run, or having a romantic dinner, understand that you may have thoughts about the porn and you may question if he is thinking about the porn while you spend time together. For men, usually their porn use is separate from the relationship and used as non-attachment and impersonal fulfillment of pleasure. Enjoy every moment you spend with your boyfriend, and know that he's enjoying every moment too.\\n1-4. Define what cheating means to you.\\nYou do not think of porn as cheating or you do think of it as cheating. Some men and women are not okay with porn and know how they feel about it being in a relationship. If you are uncomfortable and feel like his excitement of watching other women engage in sexual acts is cheating, then that may mean you are not okay with the porn. Do not feel like you have to rationalize his porn use and discount your feelings. If you feel that it is not cheating, then you probably just think of it as a pleasurable movie, the videos do not pose a threat to your relationship and you may define cheating as being something you can only do with a real person. Your definition of cheating matters, and understanding what your partner's definition of cheating is will help you feel more secure in your relationship or find points where you both will need to find compromise.\\n1-5. Ask yourself if you have any objections to having porn in your relationship.\\nIf you have values that don't align with the genre of porn he watches, communicate that. If you feel like the porn has a negative effect on your trust for him (if he was hiding it from you) then understand that the porn may not be the core issue, dishonesty could be the primary issue to deal with. It is essential to understand your own feelings and beliefs, and ask yourself if you can see yourself in a long term relationship with your partner and not having an issue with porn. It's important to be honest with yourself an d be clear with your partner.\\nIf you are triggered by porn and have insecurity because it brings you to your past, you may want to explore yourself further and see if porn is the issue or if there is trauma you need to work through. If you have a hard time sorting through your feelings about the porn, seeking a friend who is understanding may help. If you feel that you can't consult a friend, there is professional help or advice online and in person available. It is okay to feel like you are okay with porn and then later feel not okay with it. People change everyday, and getting to know yourself while getting to know another person in a relationship can be difficult.\\nIdentify your insecurities, if any of them root directly to porn and the nature of porn, then you may not be okay with porn itself. If the insecurities you have go back to dishonesty, trust, or intimacy, you should consider bypassing pornography as being an irritant to the initial, core problem.\\nIf you have had cheating boyfriend in the past, or your boyfriend has cheated on you, you may feel like porn is a window for cheating, or that he may still be cheating on you.\\n2. Taking Action\\n2-1. Know if he has a real problem with pornography.\\nThere's a difference between being a casual porn watcher and having a porn addiction. If your boyfriend is obsessed with watching porn and sneaks away to watch porn every chance he gets, then he may be having a real problem with a porn addiction and should seek help. Though most of the time this is not the case, it's important to know that it's a possibility.\\nAsk yourself if his porn habits are affecting your relationship, replacing the time he spends with you, and generally making it difficult to be romantically involved. If this is the case, then you may have a real problem on your hands and should discuss next steps.\\n2-2. Consider watching porn with him.\\nWhile this isn't for every couple, if you see nothing morally objectionable about porn though you have never watched it before, or if you've seen it before and are curious about what it's like to watch porn as a couple, then see if you and your boyfriend can have a kinky time watching porn together. Your boyfriend may not think this is a good idea, and if he doesn't, you shouldn't push him on it too much. And if you do watch it with him, watch it for the enjoyment of watching something sexy together, not to gauge his reaction to see how much he really likes it. This will make him self-conscious and unlikely to enjoy himself.\\n2-3. Try to use the porn to discuss your boyfriend's sexual fantasies.\\nMany men say that they watch porn as an escape, and that they'd never want to do the same things with their girlfriend that they see people doing on television. Yet, sometimes the stuff he watches on porn can make him yearn for something with you, even if it's just some harmless role playing or some time spent having sex in a new position or making out in a new location. Talk to him about it to see if the conversation may take your own relationship to a new level.\\nYour boyfriend may want something in the bedroom but may be too shy to ask unless you press him. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. The fact of the matter is, a lot of porn does objectify women, and you don't have to do anything that makes you feel demeaned or worthless.\\nAnd hey, you can use this as a time to tell your boyfriend about any fantasies you may be having as well.\\nThis doesn't mean that your boyfriend will jump for joy when you ask him about what he's watching during his porn solo sessions. It may make him uncomfortable, and that's only natural too.\\n2-4. Discuss your next steps.\\nOnce you've had an open and honest discussion about watching pornography, then you and your boyfriend can discuss what next steps you can take. Here are some options you may decide on:\\nBreaking up. Though breaking up over your boyfriend watching a regular amount of porn alone may not be that common, the porn watching can be indicative of larger issues that may have brought the relationship to a status of beyond repair.\\nWatching it together. If you don't find porn offensive and are curious about what turns your boyfriend on, then this may be an option for you. Just make sure he's comfortable with it.\\nHaving your boyfriend try to watch porn less, or not when there's a chance you may walk in on him, if that's what you really want. Though you don't want to force your boyfriend to curb his desires or to become too secretive around you, this may be the best option you come up with.\\n2-5. Seek a relationship counselor if it's necessary.\\nIf your boyfriend is suffering from a porn addiction and you want to help him overcome it, then you may choose to see a counselor together, or to have him see a counsellor. Or your conversation about porn may lead to your realization of larger problems in the relationship, such as issues related to infidelity or insecurity. If this is the case, then you may need to seek outside help for your relationship.\\nTips\\nIf watching pornography is not okay with you, make yourself heard. If he isn't willing to change it, you'll have to decide whether or not you can accept it. Maybe this isn't the guy for you.\\nIf he has come to you and said he watches porn it is a very good sign. This means he trusts you with a sensitive and sometimes embarrassing subject to talk to loved ones about. You MUST be careful and treat it delicately. Yelling at him or putting him down MAY cause him to watch porn even more by stressing him out.\\nWatching porn is sometimes, but not always a way out of loneliness, depression, and lack of self confidence. Helping his confidence would be a good place to start but remember to approach this carefully. After all this is not always a problem for men. But tell him if you strongly disapprove and be open to his opinions.\\nWarnings\\nHe may have issues which will require the advice of a professional therapist. Any behavior that removes you from family or loved ones in an unhealthy way may be an indicator of a sexual dysfunction.\\nMany men watch porn that may show specific fetishes and fantasies that he enjoys WATCHING but doesn't feel the need to do in reality, so it's unlikely that he's expecting you to want to try everything you may see in the porn he likes. As long as the porn contains no illegal activities and is between consenting adults it's important for you to try to be supportive about the occasional indulgence even if it's something you see as \\\"weird\\\".\\nJust because he watches porn does not mean he is an addict. In fact, more than likely he is not, since it is a widespread practice.\\nHonestly talk with him and support him. With porn addiction, usually the first person to find out is the addict. If he has a problem, help him. Addiction to anything is a disease.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"No girl would rank the time when she walked in on her boyfriend watching porn as one of the top five best moments of her relationship. Still, the fact that your boyfriend watches porn may make you feel insecure or upset, or think that it poses a threat to your relationship. It is up to you to evaluate your values and determine whether or not porn is \\\"okay\\\" or \\\"not okay\\\". Watching porn is a common activity for men and women, not just men exclusively. It is important to recognize that if you want to accept your boyfriend's interest in pornography. This article is for people who do not think of porn as a deal breaker and would like to accept the porn into their relationship.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Adjusting Your Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to your boyfriend about it.\", \"描述\": \"Have an open and honest discussion about how his porn use makes you feel. Let him know what you're thinking and feeling, what doubts you have, and ask him some questions about his views on pornography. You'll feel better if you put your feelings out there and let him know what you're thinking and feeling. If he respects you, he'll respect your views and will take the time to listen to you. You can even ask him about his reasons for watching it, if you like, if you are concerned that he is aroused for the wrong reasons.\\nJust know that many men view their porn watching as a very private activity, just like masturbation, and your boyfriend may not want to discuss every little detail with you.\\nIf you can both be open and understanding of one another, that is a good sign that you can grow together intimately with or without porn.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don't try to ban it, but establish each other's boundaries to the relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, if you know you are not okay with porn and you try to keep your significant other from watching it, you may fall into a pattern of being the \\\"porn police\\\". This behavior causes distrust in the relationship, and can cause him to keep his porn use hidden from you, or cause tension and discomfort while talking about the subject. If you feel okay with the porn, the concept of keeping him from watching it should not arise. If it is only certain genres of porn that upset you, make sure to talk about this with him and let him know why it makes you feel the ways you do. If you are unsure, try to imagine yourself watching porn, or maybe you do watch porn. If you can understand the reasons he may have for watching porn or the reasons you enjoy watching porn, you can mutually grow and include the porn into your sex life. Understand your feelings before you act. If you feel tempted to snoop, or pick through his search history, you may find at the end of that road even more distrust and dishonesty. If your boyfriend is okay with you watching porn, and he also thinks it is okay for him to watch porn then the two of you can have a better, open conversation on how you can incorporate it into your bedroom and fulfill each other's fantasies.\\nPorn is a substance that can be addictive, and if you believe that he may have an issue based off of how the porn effects your relationship, he also has to see that. If he agrees with you and would like to stop using porn not only for the relationship, but also for himself. You can grow together, although it will not be easy and the use of counseling, couples counseling, or online programs like No Fap, will help significantly. If your boyfriend does not see eye-to-eye with you and how you feel, he will most likely do nothing to change, and you cannot change him even if you try.\\nIf he chooses to stop using porn, he will still masturbate and he'll still have fantasies. If you are thinking of banning porn to make your boyfriend only think of you sexually, that is not reasonable. Men and women both fantasize about people who are not their lover, it could be movie stars, people from real life, a cartoon, whatever it may be... It is hypocritical to believe that you can have freedom over your fantasies and he can not.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try not to be paranoid during your time together.\", \"描述\": \"When you and your boyfriend are hanging out watching TV, going for a run, or having a romantic dinner, understand that you may have thoughts about the porn and you may question if he is thinking about the porn while you spend time together. For men, usually their porn use is separate from the relationship and used as non-attachment and impersonal fulfillment of pleasure. Enjoy every moment you spend with your boyfriend, and know that he's enjoying every moment too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Define what cheating means to you.\", \"描述\": \"You do not think of porn as cheating or you do think of it as cheating. Some men and women are not okay with porn and know how they feel about it being in a relationship. If you are uncomfortable and feel like his excitement of watching other women engage in sexual acts is cheating, then that may mean you are not okay with the porn. Do not feel like you have to rationalize his porn use and discount your feelings. If you feel that it is not cheating, then you probably just think of it as a pleasurable movie, the videos do not pose a threat to your relationship and you may define cheating as being something you can only do with a real person. Your definition of cheating matters, and understanding what your partner's definition of cheating is will help you feel more secure in your relationship or find points where you both will need to find compromise.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if you have any objections to having porn in your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If you have values that don't align with the genre of porn he watches, communicate that. If you feel like the porn has a negative effect on your trust for him (if he was hiding it from you) then understand that the porn may not be the core issue, dishonesty could be the primary issue to deal with. It is essential to understand your own feelings and beliefs, and ask yourself if you can see yourself in a long term relationship with your partner and not having an issue with porn. It's important to be honest with yourself an d be clear with your partner.\\nIf you are triggered by porn and have insecurity because it brings you to your past, you may want to explore yourself further and see if porn is the issue or if there is trauma you need to work through. If you have a hard time sorting through your feelings about the porn, seeking a friend who is understanding may help. If you feel that you can't consult a friend, there is professional help or advice online and in person available. It is okay to feel like you are okay with porn and then later feel not okay with it. People change everyday, and getting to know yourself while getting to know another person in a relationship can be difficult.\\nIdentify your insecurities, if any of them root directly to porn and the nature of porn, then you may not be okay with porn itself. If the insecurities you have go back to dishonesty, trust, or intimacy, you should consider bypassing pornography as being an irritant to the initial, core problem.\\nIf you have had cheating boyfriend in the past, or your boyfriend has cheated on you, you may feel like porn is a window for cheating, or that he may still be cheating on you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know if he has a real problem with pornography.\", \"描述\": \"There's a difference between being a casual porn watcher and having a porn addiction. If your boyfriend is obsessed with watching porn and sneaks away to watch porn every chance he gets, then he may be having a real problem with a porn addiction and should seek help. Though most of the time this is not the case, it's important to know that it's a possibility.\\nAsk yourself if his porn habits are affecting your relationship, replacing the time he spends with you, and generally making it difficult to be romantically involved. If this is the case, then you may have a real problem on your hands and should discuss next steps.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider watching porn with him.\", \"描述\": \"While this isn't for every couple, if you see nothing morally objectionable about porn though you have never watched it before, or if you've seen it before and are curious about what it's like to watch porn as a couple, then see if you and your boyfriend can have a kinky time watching porn together. Your boyfriend may not think this is a good idea, and if he doesn't, you shouldn't push him on it too much. And if you do watch it with him, watch it for the enjoyment of watching something sexy together, not to gauge his reaction to see how much he really likes it. This will make him self-conscious and unlikely to enjoy himself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try to use the porn to discuss your boyfriend's sexual fantasies.\", \"描述\": \"Many men say that they watch porn as an escape, and that they'd never want to do the same things with their girlfriend that they see people doing on television. Yet, sometimes the stuff he watches on porn can make him yearn for something with you, even if it's just some harmless role playing or some time spent having sex in a new position or making out in a new location. Talk to him about it to see if the conversation may take your own relationship to a new level.\\nYour boyfriend may want something in the bedroom but may be too shy to ask unless you press him. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. The fact of the matter is, a lot of porn does objectify women, and you don't have to do anything that makes you feel demeaned or worthless.\\nAnd hey, you can use this as a time to tell your boyfriend about any fantasies you may be having as well.\\nThis doesn't mean that your boyfriend will jump for joy when you ask him about what he's watching during his porn solo sessions. It may make him uncomfortable, and that's only natural too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Discuss your next steps.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've had an open and honest discussion about watching pornography, then you and your boyfriend can discuss what next steps you can take. Here are some options you may decide on:\\nBreaking up. Though breaking up over your boyfriend watching a regular amount of porn alone may not be that common, the porn watching can be indicative of larger issues that may have brought the relationship to a status of beyond repair.\\nWatching it together. If you don't find porn offensive and are curious about what turns your boyfriend on, then this may be an option for you. Just make sure he's comfortable with it.\\nHaving your boyfriend try to watch porn less, or not when there's a chance you may walk in on him, if that's what you really want. Though you don't want to force your boyfriend to curb his desires or to become too secretive around you, this may be the best option you come up with.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Seek a relationship counselor if it's necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If your boyfriend is suffering from a porn addiction and you want to help him overcome it, then you may choose to see a counselor together, or to have him see a counsellor. Or your conversation about porn may lead to your realization of larger problems in the relationship, such as issues related to infidelity or insecurity. If this is the case, then you may need to seek outside help for your relationship.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If watching pornography is not okay with you, make yourself heard. If he isn't willing to change it, you'll have to decide whether or not you can accept it. Maybe this isn't the guy for you.\\n\", \"If he has come to you and said he watches porn it is a very good sign. This means he trusts you with a sensitive and sometimes embarrassing subject to talk to loved ones about. You MUST be careful and treat it delicately. Yelling at him or putting him down MAY cause him to watch porn even more by stressing him out.\\n\", \"Watching porn is sometimes, but not always a way out of loneliness, depression, and lack of self confidence. Helping his confidence would be a good place to start but remember to approach this carefully. After all this is not always a problem for men. But tell him if you strongly disapprove and be open to his opinions.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"He may have issues which will require the advice of a professional therapist. Any behavior that removes you from family or loved ones in an unhealthy way may be an indicator of a sexual dysfunction.\\n\", \"Many men watch porn that may show specific fetishes and fantasies that he enjoys WATCHING but doesn't feel the need to do in reality, so it's unlikely that he's expecting you to want to try everything you may see in the porn he likes. As long as the porn contains no illegal activities and is between consenting adults it's important for you to try to be supportive about the occasional indulgence even if it's something you see as \\\"weird\\\".\\n\", \"Just because he watches porn does not mean he is an addict. In fact, more than likely he is not, since it is a widespread practice.\\n\", \"Honestly talk with him and support him. With porn addiction, usually the first person to find out is the addict. If he has a problem, help him. Addiction to anything is a disease.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
134 | How to Accept Your Partner's Past | 1. Managing Your Emotions
1-1. Notice when you’re thinking intrusive thoughts.
Learn to recognize obsessive, black-and-white thoughts and catch yourself when you're jumping to conclusions. It’s one thing to think about your partner’s past or experience emotions about it. However, try to identify when your thoughts race or if you take a past event out of context.
Emotions such as anger, sadness, and jealousy are normal. For instance, it’s normal to be sad or cry about something bad your partner did in the past. If you're jealous or insecure about your partner's ex, it’s okay to vent to a loved one about it.
On the other hand, try not to obsess over your partner’s past relationships, scour their exes’ social media accounts, or dwell on a minor mistake they made years ago.
1-2. Challenge obsessive or all-or-nothing thinking.
When you notice intrusive or irrational thoughts, question them. Remind yourself to stay objective, look at facts, and chip away at irrational suspicions.
For example, suppose you’re suspicious that your partner isn’t over their ex, but there isn’t any actual evidence. Ask yourself whether you're being reasonable if you start dwelling on your jealousy, thinking the worst of your partner, or obsessively looking over their ex’s social media profiles.
Tell yourself, “Stop. It’s normal to feel jealous, but I need to manage my thoughts and actions. I can’t control my partner or their past, but I can control my reaction. They haven't given me any reason not to trust them, and I'm jumping to conclusions.”
If you have suspicions, it's better to be honest with your partner instead of convincing yourself of the worst.
1-3. Seek advice from a trusted friend or relative.
Vent your feelings to a loved one, and ask them for a fresh perspective. They can help you figure out whether the issue is a matter of your perception or a legitimate cause for concern. Confide in someone who’s objective, and keep in mind anything you say may influence that person’s opinion of your partner.
For example, suppose your parents are already on the fence about your partner. Talking to them about your partner’s flaws could just worsen their opinion. If you work things out and accept with your partner’s past, your parents could still resent your partner, and you’d be caught in the middle.
1-4. See a therapist if you're not sure how to handle your partner's past.
If you have trouble coming to terms with your partner’s past or managing your feelings, an individual or couples counselor can help. They can offer a fresh perspective on your relationship and, if necessary, address broader trust issues.
2. Putting Their Past in Context
2-1. Think
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Remind yourself that everyone has a past, and that no one is perfect. Make a mental list of your exes, mistakes you’ve made, and other examples that are comparable to what bothers you about your ex’s past.
Imagine if your partner questioned whether you have feelings for your ex or judged you for a mistake you made 10 years ago. You’d probably think it’s unfair that they’re judging you for things you did before you even knew each other.
2-2. Remember that you can’t change the past.
Your partner can’t erase their past, and you shouldn’t expect them to have a completely clean slate. Everyone brings baggage into a relationship. It’s up to you to figure out whether or not you can accept your partner’s baggage.
It’s okay if you need some time to come to terms with your partner’s past. But it’s not fair to hold a grudge against them or to bring up their past during a fight. If they did something horrible and you can’t accept it, it’s better to end things than continually rake your partner over the coals.
2-3. Don’t define your partner solely based on their past mistakes.
Take into account who your partner is now and how they treat you in the present. Try to see the bigger picture, and look for broader patterns instead of magnifying a single action. Put things in perspective, and think about how you’d feel if your partner judged you based on a single mistake.
Say your partner told you they cheated on one of their exes a long time ago, and that they feel still horrible about it. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should distrust them.
2-4. Ask yourself if something they’ve done is a deal breaker.
Although everyone messes up, it’s okay to draw a line in the sand. Small, one-time mistakes are one thing. However, don’t feel like you have to accept major warning signs, such as a long-term pattern of bad behavior or a serious crime.
Suppose your partner told you they’ve cheated in each of their relationships. That’s a pattern of suspicious behavior, and it’s okay to have serious doubts about their ability to commit.
Say they were arrested in the past for violence, and you’ve seen them punch walls, slam doors, and break things. This is a pattern of violent, potentially abusive behavior. Other abusive behaviors include screaming at you, threatening physical violence, and attempting to isolate you from loved ones. If you’ve observed any of these red flags, ending the relationship is probably the best option.
If they lose their temper but haven’t directed their anger toward you, and if you’re interested in working things out, you still need to set ground rules. They should consult a mental health professional about managing their anger.
3. Addressing Your Concerns with Your Partner
3-1. Bring up your feelings in a calm, respectful manner.
Avoid bringing up something from their past in the midst of an argument. When you’re both calm and in good moods, ask them to talk. Tell them something’s been bothering you, and you want to be honest with them about it.
Say something like, “Can we have a chat? I’m been feeling anxious ever since you told me about how much you used to party. I’m not saying you can’t have fun, but that kind of lifestyle isn’t for me. Do you think you’ve gotten it out of your system?”
3-2. Listen to their side of the story.
Give them the benefit of the doubt, and let them give you the context. Maybe they told you about something they did in passing, but you didn’t get the whole story. Avoid jumping to conclusions, and try not to make assumptions about what goes on in their head.
For instance, don’t just assume that your partner still has feelings for their ex. Instead of letting your suspicions fester, say, “I know you and your ex were together for a long time, and that's pretty intimidating. They make me feel insecure, and I don’t want to come off as jealous, but I need to know that I can trust you.”
3-3. Hear them out, but trust your instincts.
Bear in mind there’s a difference between an explanation and an excuse. It’s one thing if your partner offers a legitimate explanation and puts something from their past in context. However, go with your gut if you think they’re trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
For example, say your partner had a problem with drugs or alcohol. They explain how they took steps to address their addiction, and that they’ve been sober for a long time. Rather than make excuses, their words and actions offer proof that the past is in the past.
Suppose your partner often hangs out with their ex alone. Maybe they’re constantly praising their ex, or they say things like, “That outfit reminds me of something my ex would wear.” Even if they try to explain it away, that’s pretty good evidence they’re not over their ex. It’d be wise to question if they’re ready to commit to a relationship with you.
3-4. Communicate openly, but don’t overshare with each other.
As your relationship deepens, you and your partner should feel comfortable being vulnerable with each other. Let your partner know that it’s safe to talk about past experiences, mistakes, and regrets. Encourage honesty, but keep in mind that, for some topics, neither of you need to share every little detail.
For instance, telling each other about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom helps build intimacy. However, neither of you need to go into detail about being intimate with an ex.
Some people just don’t want to know about their partner’s past relationships. If you know you’re prone to jealousy, tell your partner you don’t really want to hear about their exes.
3-5. Discuss getting STI tests if you’re worried about their sexual history.
If you haven’t already, talk to your partner about sexual health. It might be an awkward subject, but try to be matter-of-fact. Without putting them on the spot, suggest that you both get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI).
Suppose you find out the person you’re dating has been with a lot of people, and you’re having trouble coming to terms with it. Talk to them about it, and mention that sexual health is an important topic for any couple to discuss.
Try saying, “I know it’s awkward to talk about, but they say you should be upfront about sex and health. I get tested regularly, how about you? What do you think about getting tested together?”
4. Learning to Trust Your Partner
4-1. Focus on how they treat you now.
Ask yourself if your partner has given you any reason not to trust them. Assess your relationship rationally, and think about how your partner has acted since you’ve been together. How they treat you in the present is more important than what they might have done before they knew you.
It’s normal to be afraid to trust someone, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. Tell yourself to stop when you start feeling suspicious or jealous. Stay objective, and focus on your partner’s words and actions in the present.
4-2. Respect your partner’s privacy.
Never snoop through your partner’s things or try to read their texts or emails. Think about how you would feel if they invaded your privacy. If you have reasons not to trust them, discuss your concerns with them instead of snooping.
If you do find evidence, confronting them with it will let them know that you’ve invaded their privacy. You’ll both be defensive and accusatory, and neither of you will trust the other enough to have a productive conversation.
Distrust doesn’t necessarily have to do with cheating. Say, for instance, that your partner drank a lot or used drugs in the past. You might not trust them when they say that’s in the past if you’ve seen them drinking a lot or they’re suddenly prone to mood swings.
4-3. Talk to your partner about behaviors that make you distrust them.
Choose a calm setting to bring up your concerns. Think about what you want to say beforehand, and come up with specific reasons that you distrust your partner. Try not to come off like your accusing them, but let them know the particular actions that have you on guard.
For example, tell them, “Please don’t feel like I’m attacking you or accusing you of anything. But you told me you’ve had some anger issues in the past, and I’ve noticed you’ve been losing your temper a lot lately. Is there any way I can help? Maybe talking to someone can help you keep your anger in check.”
If you think they still have feelings for an ex, say, “It bothers me when you talk about how great your ex is or what you used to do together. I feel like you’re drawing comparisons between us. I’m glad you’re on good terms with them, but I’m concerned you still have feelings for them.”
4-4. Try not to let mementos of their exes bother you, within reason.
Keeping a photograph of their ex on their nightstand, for instance, is unreasonable. However, don’t read into every little reminder of your partner’s past relationships. Holding onto mementos doesn’t mean your partner is still hung up on an ex.
Suppose an ex made a really nice drawing of your partner’s dog. Keeping the drawing doesn’t mean that your partner is still crazy about the ex. If their ex gave them their favorite mug, using it to drink their morning coffee doesn’t mean they wish they were still with the ex.
Remember, you can’t pretend the past never happened. Your partner can be nostalgic but still be committed to you. As long as they treat you right and you’re both happy, don’t let their ancient history get in the way of your relationship.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Managing Your Emotions\\n1-1. Notice when you’re thinking intrusive thoughts.\\nLearn to recognize obsessive, black-and-white thoughts and catch yourself when you're jumping to conclusions. It’s one thing to think about your partner’s past or experience emotions about it. However, try to identify when your thoughts race or if you take a past event out of context.\\nEmotions such as anger, sadness, and jealousy are normal. For instance, it’s normal to be sad or cry about something bad your partner did in the past. If you're jealous or insecure about your partner's ex, it’s okay to vent to a loved one about it.\\nOn the other hand, try not to obsess over your partner’s past relationships, scour their exes’ social media accounts, or dwell on a minor mistake they made years ago.\\n1-2. Challenge obsessive or all-or-nothing thinking.\\nWhen you notice intrusive or irrational thoughts, question them. Remind yourself to stay objective, look at facts, and chip away at irrational suspicions.\\nFor example, suppose you’re suspicious that your partner isn’t over their ex, but there isn’t any actual evidence. Ask yourself whether you're being reasonable if you start dwelling on your jealousy, thinking the worst of your partner, or obsessively looking over their ex’s social media profiles.\\nTell yourself, “Stop. It’s normal to feel jealous, but I need to manage my thoughts and actions. I can’t control my partner or their past, but I can control my reaction. They haven't given me any reason not to trust them, and I'm jumping to conclusions.”\\nIf you have suspicions, it's better to be honest with your partner instead of convincing yourself of the worst.\\n1-3. Seek advice from a trusted friend or relative.\\nVent your feelings to a loved one, and ask them for a fresh perspective. They can help you figure out whether the issue is a matter of your perception or a legitimate cause for concern. Confide in someone who’s objective, and keep in mind anything you say may influence that person’s opinion of your partner.\\nFor example, suppose your parents are already on the fence about your partner. Talking to them about your partner’s flaws could just worsen their opinion. If you work things out and accept with your partner’s past, your parents could still resent your partner, and you’d be caught in the middle.\\n1-4. See a therapist if you're not sure how to handle your partner's past.\\nIf you have trouble coming to terms with your partner’s past or managing your feelings, an individual or couples counselor can help. They can offer a fresh perspective on your relationship and, if necessary, address broader trust issues.\\n2. Putting Their Past in Context\\n2-1. Think\\nPut yourself in your partner’s shoes. Remind yourself that everyone has a past, and that no one is perfect. Make a mental list of your exes, mistakes you’ve made, and other examples that are comparable to what bothers you about your ex’s past.\\nImagine if your partner questioned whether you have feelings for your ex or judged you for a mistake you made 10 years ago. You’d probably think it’s unfair that they’re judging you for things you did before you even knew each other.\\n2-2. Remember that you can’t change the past.\\nYour partner can’t erase their past, and you shouldn’t expect them to have a completely clean slate. Everyone brings baggage into a relationship. It’s up to you to figure out whether or not you can accept your partner’s baggage.\\nIt’s okay if you need some time to come to terms with your partner’s past. But it’s not fair to hold a grudge against them or to bring up their past during a fight. If they did something horrible and you can’t accept it, it’s better to end things than continually rake your partner over the coals.\\n2-3. Don’t define your partner solely based on their past mistakes.\\nTake into account who your partner is now and how they treat you in the present. Try to see the bigger picture, and look for broader patterns instead of magnifying a single action. Put things in perspective, and think about how you’d feel if your partner judged you based on a single mistake.\\nSay your partner told you they cheated on one of their exes a long time ago, and that they feel still horrible about it. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should distrust them.\\n2-4. Ask yourself if something they’ve done is a deal breaker.\\nAlthough everyone messes up, it’s okay to draw a line in the sand. Small, one-time mistakes are one thing. However, don’t feel like you have to accept major warning signs, such as a long-term pattern of bad behavior or a serious crime.\\nSuppose your partner told you they’ve cheated in each of their relationships. That’s a pattern of suspicious behavior, and it’s okay to have serious doubts about their ability to commit.\\nSay they were arrested in the past for violence, and you’ve seen them punch walls, slam doors, and break things. This is a pattern of violent, potentially abusive behavior. Other abusive behaviors include screaming at you, threatening physical violence, and attempting to isolate you from loved ones. If you’ve observed any of these red flags, ending the relationship is probably the best option.\\nIf they lose their temper but haven’t directed their anger toward you, and if you’re interested in working things out, you still need to set ground rules. They should consult a mental health professional about managing their anger.\\n3. Addressing Your Concerns with Your Partner\\n3-1. Bring up your feelings in a calm, respectful manner.\\nAvoid bringing up something from their past in the midst of an argument. When you’re both calm and in good moods, ask them to talk. Tell them something’s been bothering you, and you want to be honest with them about it.\\nSay something like, “Can we have a chat? I’m been feeling anxious ever since you told me about how much you used to party. I’m not saying you can’t have fun, but that kind of lifestyle isn’t for me. Do you think you’ve gotten it out of your system?”\\n3-2. Listen to their side of the story.\\nGive them the benefit of the doubt, and let them give you the context. Maybe they told you about something they did in passing, but you didn’t get the whole story. Avoid jumping to conclusions, and try not to make assumptions about what goes on in their head.\\nFor instance, don’t just assume that your partner still has feelings for their ex. Instead of letting your suspicions fester, say, “I know you and your ex were together for a long time, and that's pretty intimidating. They make me feel insecure, and I don’t want to come off as jealous, but I need to know that I can trust you.”\\n3-3. Hear them out, but trust your instincts.\\nBear in mind there’s a difference between an explanation and an excuse. It’s one thing if your partner offers a legitimate explanation and puts something from their past in context. However, go with your gut if you think they’re trying to pull the wool over your eyes.\\nFor example, say your partner had a problem with drugs or alcohol. They explain how they took steps to address their addiction, and that they’ve been sober for a long time. Rather than make excuses, their words and actions offer proof that the past is in the past.\\nSuppose your partner often hangs out with their ex alone. Maybe they’re constantly praising their ex, or they say things like, “That outfit reminds me of something my ex would wear.” Even if they try to explain it away, that’s pretty good evidence they’re not over their ex. It’d be wise to question if they’re ready to commit to a relationship with you.\\n3-4. Communicate openly, but don’t overshare with each other.\\nAs your relationship deepens, you and your partner should feel comfortable being vulnerable with each other. Let your partner know that it’s safe to talk about past experiences, mistakes, and regrets. Encourage honesty, but keep in mind that, for some topics, neither of you need to share every little detail.\\nFor instance, telling each other about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom helps build intimacy. However, neither of you need to go into detail about being intimate with an ex.\\nSome people just don’t want to know about their partner’s past relationships. If you know you’re prone to jealousy, tell your partner you don’t really want to hear about their exes.\\n3-5. Discuss getting STI tests if you’re worried about their sexual history.\\nIf you haven’t already, talk to your partner about sexual health. It might be an awkward subject, but try to be matter-of-fact. Without putting them on the spot, suggest that you both get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI).\\nSuppose you find out the person you’re dating has been with a lot of people, and you’re having trouble coming to terms with it. Talk to them about it, and mention that sexual health is an important topic for any couple to discuss.\\nTry saying, “I know it’s awkward to talk about, but they say you should be upfront about sex and health. I get tested regularly, how about you? What do you think about getting tested together?”\\n4. Learning to Trust Your Partner\\n4-1. Focus on how they treat you now.\\nAsk yourself if your partner has given you any reason not to trust them. Assess your relationship rationally, and think about how your partner has acted since you’ve been together. How they treat you in the present is more important than what they might have done before they knew you.\\nIt’s normal to be afraid to trust someone, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. Tell yourself to stop when you start feeling suspicious or jealous. Stay objective, and focus on your partner’s words and actions in the present.\\n4-2. Respect your partner’s privacy.\\nNever snoop through your partner’s things or try to read their texts or emails. Think about how you would feel if they invaded your privacy. If you have reasons not to trust them, discuss your concerns with them instead of snooping.\\nIf you do find evidence, confronting them with it will let them know that you’ve invaded their privacy. You’ll both be defensive and accusatory, and neither of you will trust the other enough to have a productive conversation.\\nDistrust doesn’t necessarily have to do with cheating. Say, for instance, that your partner drank a lot or used drugs in the past. You might not trust them when they say that’s in the past if you’ve seen them drinking a lot or they’re suddenly prone to mood swings.\\n4-3. Talk to your partner about behaviors that make you distrust them.\\nChoose a calm setting to bring up your concerns. Think about what you want to say beforehand, and come up with specific reasons that you distrust your partner. Try not to come off like your accusing them, but let them know the particular actions that have you on guard.\\nFor example, tell them, “Please don’t feel like I’m attacking you or accusing you of anything. But you told me you’ve had some anger issues in the past, and I’ve noticed you’ve been losing your temper a lot lately. Is there any way I can help? Maybe talking to someone can help you keep your anger in check.”\\nIf you think they still have feelings for an ex, say, “It bothers me when you talk about how great your ex is or what you used to do together. I feel like you’re drawing comparisons between us. I’m glad you’re on good terms with them, but I’m concerned you still have feelings for them.”\\n4-4. Try not to let mementos of their exes bother you, within reason.\\nKeeping a photograph of their ex on their nightstand, for instance, is unreasonable. However, don’t read into every little reminder of your partner’s past relationships. Holding onto mementos doesn’t mean your partner is still hung up on an ex.\\nSuppose an ex made a really nice drawing of your partner’s dog. Keeping the drawing doesn’t mean that your partner is still crazy about the ex. If their ex gave them their favorite mug, using it to drink their morning coffee doesn’t mean they wish they were still with the ex.\\nRemember, you can’t pretend the past never happened. Your partner can be nostalgic but still be committed to you. As long as they treat you right and you’re both happy, don’t let their ancient history get in the way of your relationship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While it’s not always easy, accepting your partner’s past is part of any relationship. Whether you’re hung up on their past relationships or concerned about mistakes they’ve made, try to remain objective. Remember that everyone has baggage, and you can’t erase the past. Aside from major red flags, like cheating on all of their exes or a history of violence, give them the benefit of the doubt. Focus on how your partner treats you in the present, and work on developing a trusting relationship with them.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Managing Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Notice when you’re thinking intrusive thoughts.\", \"描述\": \"Learn to recognize obsessive, black-and-white thoughts and catch yourself when you're jumping to conclusions. It’s one thing to think about your partner’s past or experience emotions about it. However, try to identify when your thoughts race or if you take a past event out of context.\\nEmotions such as anger, sadness, and jealousy are normal. For instance, it’s normal to be sad or cry about something bad your partner did in the past. If you're jealous or insecure about your partner's ex, it’s okay to vent to a loved one about it.\\nOn the other hand, try not to obsess over your partner’s past relationships, scour their exes’ social media accounts, or dwell on a minor mistake they made years ago.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Challenge obsessive or all-or-nothing thinking.\", \"描述\": \"When you notice intrusive or irrational thoughts, question them. Remind yourself to stay objective, look at facts, and chip away at irrational suspicions.\\nFor example, suppose you’re suspicious that your partner isn’t over their ex, but there isn’t any actual evidence. Ask yourself whether you're being reasonable if you start dwelling on your jealousy, thinking the worst of your partner, or obsessively looking over their ex’s social media profiles.\\nTell yourself, “Stop. It’s normal to feel jealous, but I need to manage my thoughts and actions. I can’t control my partner or their past, but I can control my reaction. They haven't given me any reason not to trust them, and I'm jumping to conclusions.”\\nIf you have suspicions, it's better to be honest with your partner instead of convincing yourself of the worst.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seek advice from a trusted friend or relative.\", \"描述\": \"Vent your feelings to a loved one, and ask them for a fresh perspective. They can help you figure out whether the issue is a matter of your perception or a legitimate cause for concern. Confide in someone who’s objective, and keep in mind anything you say may influence that person’s opinion of your partner.\\nFor example, suppose your parents are already on the fence about your partner. Talking to them about your partner’s flaws could just worsen their opinion. If you work things out and accept with your partner’s past, your parents could still resent your partner, and you’d be caught in the middle.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See a therapist if you're not sure how to handle your partner's past.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble coming to terms with your partner’s past or managing your feelings, an individual or couples counselor can help. They can offer a fresh perspective on your relationship and, if necessary, address broader trust issues.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Putting Their Past in Context\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think\", \"描述\": \"Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Remind yourself that everyone has a past, and that no one is perfect. Make a mental list of your exes, mistakes you’ve made, and other examples that are comparable to what bothers you about your ex’s past.\\nImagine if your partner questioned whether you have feelings for your ex or judged you for a mistake you made 10 years ago. You’d probably think it’s unfair that they’re judging you for things you did before you even knew each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remember that you can’t change the past.\", \"描述\": \"Your partner can’t erase their past, and you shouldn’t expect them to have a completely clean slate. Everyone brings baggage into a relationship. It’s up to you to figure out whether or not you can accept your partner’s baggage.\\nIt’s okay if you need some time to come to terms with your partner’s past. But it’s not fair to hold a grudge against them or to bring up their past during a fight. If they did something horrible and you can’t accept it, it’s better to end things than continually rake your partner over the coals.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t define your partner solely based on their past mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Take into account who your partner is now and how they treat you in the present. Try to see the bigger picture, and look for broader patterns instead of magnifying a single action. Put things in perspective, and think about how you’d feel if your partner judged you based on a single mistake.\\nSay your partner told you they cheated on one of their exes a long time ago, and that they feel still horrible about it. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should distrust them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself if something they’ve done is a deal breaker.\", \"描述\": \"Although everyone messes up, it’s okay to draw a line in the sand. Small, one-time mistakes are one thing. However, don’t feel like you have to accept major warning signs, such as a long-term pattern of bad behavior or a serious crime.\\nSuppose your partner told you they’ve cheated in each of their relationships. That’s a pattern of suspicious behavior, and it’s okay to have serious doubts about their ability to commit.\\nSay they were arrested in the past for violence, and you’ve seen them punch walls, slam doors, and break things. This is a pattern of violent, potentially abusive behavior. Other abusive behaviors include screaming at you, threatening physical violence, and attempting to isolate you from loved ones. If you’ve observed any of these red flags, ending the relationship is probably the best option.\\nIf they lose their temper but haven’t directed their anger toward you, and if you’re interested in working things out, you still need to set ground rules. They should consult a mental health professional about managing their anger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Addressing Your Concerns with Your Partner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring up your feelings in a calm, respectful manner.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid bringing up something from their past in the midst of an argument. When you’re both calm and in good moods, ask them to talk. Tell them something’s been bothering you, and you want to be honest with them about it.\\nSay something like, “Can we have a chat? I’m been feeling anxious ever since you told me about how much you used to party. I’m not saying you can’t have fun, but that kind of lifestyle isn’t for me. Do you think you’ve gotten it out of your system?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen to their side of the story.\", \"描述\": \"Give them the benefit of the doubt, and let them give you the context. Maybe they told you about something they did in passing, but you didn’t get the whole story. Avoid jumping to conclusions, and try not to make assumptions about what goes on in their head.\\nFor instance, don’t just assume that your partner still has feelings for their ex. Instead of letting your suspicions fester, say, “I know you and your ex were together for a long time, and that's pretty intimidating. They make me feel insecure, and I don’t want to come off as jealous, but I need to know that I can trust you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hear them out, but trust your instincts.\", \"描述\": \"Bear in mind there’s a difference between an explanation and an excuse. It’s one thing if your partner offers a legitimate explanation and puts something from their past in context. However, go with your gut if you think they’re trying to pull the wool over your eyes.\\nFor example, say your partner had a problem with drugs or alcohol. They explain how they took steps to address their addiction, and that they’ve been sober for a long time. Rather than make excuses, their words and actions offer proof that the past is in the past.\\nSuppose your partner often hangs out with their ex alone. Maybe they’re constantly praising their ex, or they say things like, “That outfit reminds me of something my ex would wear.” Even if they try to explain it away, that’s pretty good evidence they’re not over their ex. It’d be wise to question if they’re ready to commit to a relationship with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Communicate openly, but don’t overshare with each other.\", \"描述\": \"As your relationship deepens, you and your partner should feel comfortable being vulnerable with each other. Let your partner know that it’s safe to talk about past experiences, mistakes, and regrets. Encourage honesty, but keep in mind that, for some topics, neither of you need to share every little detail.\\nFor instance, telling each other about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom helps build intimacy. However, neither of you need to go into detail about being intimate with an ex.\\nSome people just don’t want to know about their partner’s past relationships. If you know you’re prone to jealousy, tell your partner you don’t really want to hear about their exes.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Discuss getting STI tests if you’re worried about their sexual history.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t already, talk to your partner about sexual health. It might be an awkward subject, but try to be matter-of-fact. Without putting them on the spot, suggest that you both get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI).\\nSuppose you find out the person you’re dating has been with a lot of people, and you’re having trouble coming to terms with it. Talk to them about it, and mention that sexual health is an important topic for any couple to discuss.\\nTry saying, “I know it’s awkward to talk about, but they say you should be upfront about sex and health. I get tested regularly, how about you? What do you think about getting tested together?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Learning to Trust Your Partner\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focus on how they treat you now.\", \"描述\": \"Ask yourself if your partner has given you any reason not to trust them. Assess your relationship rationally, and think about how your partner has acted since you’ve been together. How they treat you in the present is more important than what they might have done before they knew you.\\nIt’s normal to be afraid to trust someone, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. Tell yourself to stop when you start feeling suspicious or jealous. Stay objective, and focus on your partner’s words and actions in the present.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respect your partner’s privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Never snoop through your partner’s things or try to read their texts or emails. Think about how you would feel if they invaded your privacy. If you have reasons not to trust them, discuss your concerns with them instead of snooping.\\nIf you do find evidence, confronting them with it will let them know that you’ve invaded their privacy. You’ll both be defensive and accusatory, and neither of you will trust the other enough to have a productive conversation.\\nDistrust doesn’t necessarily have to do with cheating. Say, for instance, that your partner drank a lot or used drugs in the past. You might not trust them when they say that’s in the past if you’ve seen them drinking a lot or they’re suddenly prone to mood swings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your partner about behaviors that make you distrust them.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a calm setting to bring up your concerns. Think about what you want to say beforehand, and come up with specific reasons that you distrust your partner. Try not to come off like your accusing them, but let them know the particular actions that have you on guard.\\nFor example, tell them, “Please don’t feel like I’m attacking you or accusing you of anything. But you told me you’ve had some anger issues in the past, and I’ve noticed you’ve been losing your temper a lot lately. Is there any way I can help? Maybe talking to someone can help you keep your anger in check.”\\nIf you think they still have feelings for an ex, say, “It bothers me when you talk about how great your ex is or what you used to do together. I feel like you’re drawing comparisons between us. I’m glad you’re on good terms with them, but I’m concerned you still have feelings for them.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try not to let mementos of their exes bother you, within reason.\", \"描述\": \"Keeping a photograph of their ex on their nightstand, for instance, is unreasonable. However, don’t read into every little reminder of your partner’s past relationships. Holding onto mementos doesn’t mean your partner is still hung up on an ex.\\nSuppose an ex made a really nice drawing of your partner’s dog. Keeping the drawing doesn’t mean that your partner is still crazy about the ex. If their ex gave them their favorite mug, using it to drink their morning coffee doesn’t mean they wish they were still with the ex.\\nRemember, you can’t pretend the past never happened. Your partner can be nostalgic but still be committed to you. As long as they treat you right and you’re both happy, don’t let their ancient history get in the way of your relationship.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
135 | How to Accept Your Relationship Is Ending | 1. Let yourself grieve.
If you want to cry or scream, do it.
Bottling up your emotions can prolong the healing process when you’re coming to terms with the end of a relationship. Although you may want to put on a strong front in public, releasing your feelings of grief in private or with people you trust can help you move towards acceptance.
Although extreme grief often feels like it will last forever, it won’t. Know that in time your feelings will be more manageable.
2. Write down your thoughts about your relationship.
Journaling helps you understand your feelings.
Before the breakup happens, you’ll want to make sure you’ve thought things through completely. By writing down your thoughts, you can prepare yourself for the inevitable breakup conversation. Start by asking yourself a straightforward question, like “Why isn’t this relationship working anymore?”
Read out loud what you write in your journal, too. In many break-up cases, frustration and anger come from not being seen, heard, valued, and respected. You'll feel a lot better if you take time to express and listen to yourself.
At the end of a relationship, you might be tempted to idealize your partner. It might feel petty, but write down the qualities about them that you don’t like—remember that this journal is just for you.
Breakups are a good time to reflect on what you’ve learned. What has this relationship taught you about yourself, and what lessons can you take away from it?
Keep journaling after the break-up, too—it's a good way to help process your healing.
3. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.
You aren’t going through this alone.
Your friends and family are there to support you, and as the breakup approaches, try reaching out to them to talk through your feelings. Remind yourself that you have other meaningful relationships in your life, not just the one with your partner. These relationships will help you through this tough moment in your life.
Be sure that you’re talking to people who you can trust to keep information confidential. You don’t want your partner hearing about your feelings from someone other than you.
If you feel comfortable doing so, talking to total strangers can also be a good idea. If you meet someone you click with, try opening up to them—they might have some helpful advice for you.
4. Keep busy with other activities.
Healthy distractions show you what else life has to offer.
Before your breakup, fill your time with friends and family by taking trips, volunteering, or trying out a new hobby. These activities won’t just keep you from dwelling too long on the relationship, but will also remind you that an incredibly rewarding life is waiting for you when you’re single.
If you’re struggling to think about how you’d like to fill your time, try asking your friends what they like doing. If they mention something that sounds interesting to you, ask if you can tag along next time.
5. Get into some self-care habits.
Prioritizing your health can keep you emotionally strong.
Though we’ve all seen people in movies spending all day hiding under the covers with a tub of ice cream during a breakup, this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with the situation. Instead, focus on developing habits of eating well, sleeping enough, and staying active before the breakup, so that you can continue these habits afterward.
Be sure to spend some time every day doing something just for you, whether that means taking a long bath, taking a walk, or curling up with a book.
Meditation, yoga, and mindfulness exercises are also great ways to practice self-care and keep yourself mentally strong.
6. Prepare for life after the breakup.
Make new routines to replace old ones.
When you’re in a relationship, you likely end up sharing several different kinds of routines with your partner. After the breakup, not having these routines can make you feel less grounded. Try seeing if there are other people that can fill the shoes of your partner, so that you can make the adjustment to being single more easily.
For example, if you and your partner normally talk to each other at night to wind down after a day at work, see if there’s a friend or family member who’d be willing to do the same with you.
Or, if you and your partner are fitness buddies, find a new workout partner at work or at your gym.
Routines help you feel safe, grounded, and organized. Plus, they help you feel like there's some level of order in your life, which is really valuable.
7. Have the conversation soon.
A quick breakup is the fastest way to heal.
If you’ve made up your mind that this relationship is falling apart, have a conversation with your partner as soon as you can. By prolonging the inevitable end to the relationship, moving on becomes more difficult. Be confident when you have the conversation, and try not to let yourself be convinced into keeping something going when it isn’t working.
If you’re worried that your partner is going to make a scene, try breaking up with them in a public location.
If you live separately from your partner, and you can trust them to keep their emotions under control, it’s a good idea to break up with them at their house. That way, you can leave once you’ve said everything you needed to.
8. Do a closure ritual.
A symbolic gesture can give you a clean break.
After a breakup, you might still feel too emotionally attached to your partner. A closure ritual is an action that you can take in order to symbolize the end of your relationship with your previous partner and help you move on. For example, you can try doing something like:
Writing a letter to your ex and not sending it
Removing all the photos you have of your ex in your home and on social media
Burning reminders of your ex in a ceremonial way
9. Go no contact for 30 days.
No contact is the fastest way to move on.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, their presence in your life provides chemicals to your brain that are similar to addictive drugs. To beat these symptoms of withdrawal, a no-contact policy, which means no face-to-face contact or messaging over text and social media, is the best solution.
If you’re struggling to stay no contact, remind yourself that this is only temporary. After a month, if both you and your partner feel comfortable with it, you can revisit your relationship as casual friends.
Use this time to refocus on yourself and what's next.
10. Try casually dating if you feel comfortable with it.
Meeting new people can bring back excitement to your life.
Although jumping into a rebound relationship isn’t the best way to deal with a breakup, casually seeing new people can give you something to look forward to. Be honest about what you’re looking for and embrace the freedom you have as a newly single person.
Letting someone know up front that you just got out of a relationship and want to take things slow is a good idea. This can prevent feelings from getting hurt.
When meeting someone new, you can say something like: “I’m really excited to meet you. I want to let you know that I just got out of a relationship, and I’m looking to keep things slow or casual.”
11. Embrace your new possibilities.
Being single comes with a lot of benefits.
When you’re single, you can focus on what it is that you want out of life, without compromise. Take being single as an opportunity to do all of the things that you may have missed out on while you were in a relationship—soon, you’ll be more grateful for the breakup than ever before.
Try taking yourself out on dates—whether it’s to a movie that you’re excited about or a restaurant that you always wanted to try, enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever it is you’d like.
Step outside your comfort zone by picking up a new hobby. If you’ve always wanted to try a cooking or art class, now is your chance.
12. Talk to a therapist to process your emotions.
A professional can give you the space you need to heal.
Finding a therapist can help you navigate the fallout from the end of a relationship, since they have plenty of wisdom and experience on this matter. By talking about your feelings in a safe space, you may be able to learn a lot about yourself, and use this knowledge to build even better future relationships.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Let yourself grieve.\\nIf you want to cry or scream, do it.\\nBottling up your emotions can prolong the healing process when you’re coming to terms with the end of a relationship. Although you may want to put on a strong front in public, releasing your feelings of grief in private or with people you trust can help you move towards acceptance.\\nAlthough extreme grief often feels like it will last forever, it won’t. Know that in time your feelings will be more manageable.\\n2. Write down your thoughts about your relationship.\\nJournaling helps you understand your feelings.\\nBefore the breakup happens, you’ll want to make sure you’ve thought things through completely. By writing down your thoughts, you can prepare yourself for the inevitable breakup conversation. Start by asking yourself a straightforward question, like “Why isn’t this relationship working anymore?”\\nRead out loud what you write in your journal, too. In many break-up cases, frustration and anger come from not being seen, heard, valued, and respected. You'll feel a lot better if you take time to express and listen to yourself.\\nAt the end of a relationship, you might be tempted to idealize your partner. It might feel petty, but write down the qualities about them that you don’t like—remember that this journal is just for you.\\nBreakups are a good time to reflect on what you’ve learned. What has this relationship taught you about yourself, and what lessons can you take away from it?\\nKeep journaling after the break-up, too—it's a good way to help process your healing.\\n3. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.\\nYou aren’t going through this alone.\\nYour friends and family are there to support you, and as the breakup approaches, try reaching out to them to talk through your feelings. Remind yourself that you have other meaningful relationships in your life, not just the one with your partner. These relationships will help you through this tough moment in your life.\\nBe sure that you’re talking to people who you can trust to keep information confidential. You don’t want your partner hearing about your feelings from someone other than you.\\nIf you feel comfortable doing so, talking to total strangers can also be a good idea. If you meet someone you click with, try opening up to them—they might have some helpful advice for you.\\n4. Keep busy with other activities.\\nHealthy distractions show you what else life has to offer.\\nBefore your breakup, fill your time with friends and family by taking trips, volunteering, or trying out a new hobby. These activities won’t just keep you from dwelling too long on the relationship, but will also remind you that an incredibly rewarding life is waiting for you when you’re single.\\nIf you’re struggling to think about how you’d like to fill your time, try asking your friends what they like doing. If they mention something that sounds interesting to you, ask if you can tag along next time.\\n5. Get into some self-care habits.\\nPrioritizing your health can keep you emotionally strong.\\nThough we’ve all seen people in movies spending all day hiding under the covers with a tub of ice cream during a breakup, this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with the situation. Instead, focus on developing habits of eating well, sleeping enough, and staying active before the breakup, so that you can continue these habits afterward.\\nBe sure to spend some time every day doing something just for you, whether that means taking a long bath, taking a walk, or curling up with a book.\\nMeditation, yoga, and mindfulness exercises are also great ways to practice self-care and keep yourself mentally strong.\\n6. Prepare for life after the breakup.\\nMake new routines to replace old ones.\\nWhen you’re in a relationship, you likely end up sharing several different kinds of routines with your partner. After the breakup, not having these routines can make you feel less grounded. Try seeing if there are other people that can fill the shoes of your partner, so that you can make the adjustment to being single more easily.\\nFor example, if you and your partner normally talk to each other at night to wind down after a day at work, see if there’s a friend or family member who’d be willing to do the same with you.\\nOr, if you and your partner are fitness buddies, find a new workout partner at work or at your gym.\\nRoutines help you feel safe, grounded, and organized. Plus, they help you feel like there's some level of order in your life, which is really valuable.\\n7. Have the conversation soon.\\nA quick breakup is the fastest way to heal.\\nIf you’ve made up your mind that this relationship is falling apart, have a conversation with your partner as soon as you can. By prolonging the inevitable end to the relationship, moving on becomes more difficult. Be confident when you have the conversation, and try not to let yourself be convinced into keeping something going when it isn’t working.\\nIf you’re worried that your partner is going to make a scene, try breaking up with them in a public location.\\nIf you live separately from your partner, and you can trust them to keep their emotions under control, it’s a good idea to break up with them at their house. That way, you can leave once you’ve said everything you needed to.\\n8. Do a closure ritual.\\nA symbolic gesture can give you a clean break.\\nAfter a breakup, you might still feel too emotionally attached to your partner. A closure ritual is an action that you can take in order to symbolize the end of your relationship with your previous partner and help you move on. For example, you can try doing something like:\\nWriting a letter to your ex and not sending it\\nRemoving all the photos you have of your ex in your home and on social media\\nBurning reminders of your ex in a ceremonial way\\n9. Go no contact for 30 days.\\nNo contact is the fastest way to move on.\\nWhen you’re in a relationship with someone, their presence in your life provides chemicals to your brain that are similar to addictive drugs. To beat these symptoms of withdrawal, a no-contact policy, which means no face-to-face contact or messaging over text and social media, is the best solution.\\nIf you’re struggling to stay no contact, remind yourself that this is only temporary. After a month, if both you and your partner feel comfortable with it, you can revisit your relationship as casual friends.\\nUse this time to refocus on yourself and what's next.\\n10. Try casually dating if you feel comfortable with it.\\nMeeting new people can bring back excitement to your life.\\nAlthough jumping into a rebound relationship isn’t the best way to deal with a breakup, casually seeing new people can give you something to look forward to. Be honest about what you’re looking for and embrace the freedom you have as a newly single person.\\nLetting someone know up front that you just got out of a relationship and want to take things slow is a good idea. This can prevent feelings from getting hurt.\\nWhen meeting someone new, you can say something like: “I’m really excited to meet you. I want to let you know that I just got out of a relationship, and I’m looking to keep things slow or casual.”\\n11. Embrace your new possibilities.\\nBeing single comes with a lot of benefits.\\nWhen you’re single, you can focus on what it is that you want out of life, without compromise. Take being single as an opportunity to do all of the things that you may have missed out on while you were in a relationship—soon, you’ll be more grateful for the breakup than ever before.\\nTry taking yourself out on dates—whether it’s to a movie that you’re excited about or a restaurant that you always wanted to try, enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever it is you’d like.\\nStep outside your comfort zone by picking up a new hobby. If you’ve always wanted to try a cooking or art class, now is your chance.\\n12. Talk to a therapist to process your emotions.\\nA professional can give you the space you need to heal.\\nFinding a therapist can help you navigate the fallout from the end of a relationship, since they have plenty of wisdom and experience on this matter. By talking about your feelings in a safe space, you may be able to learn a lot about yourself, and use this knowledge to build even better future relationships.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When a breakup feels inevitable, how can you come to terms with it? The end of a relationship is always hard, but when dealt with in a healthy way, it also promises a lot of growth and future happiness. If you’re realizing that your relationship isn’t going to last much longer, we’re here for you. We’ll walk you through the best strategies to manage your feelings before and after the breakup with this complete guide on how to accept that your relationship is ending.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let yourself grieve.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you want to cry or scream, do it.\", \"描述\": \"Bottling up your emotions can prolong the healing process when you’re coming to terms with the end of a relationship. Although you may want to put on a strong front in public, releasing your feelings of grief in private or with people you trust can help you move towards acceptance.\\nAlthough extreme grief often feels like it will last forever, it won’t. Know that in time your feelings will be more manageable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down your thoughts about your relationship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Journaling helps you understand your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Before the breakup happens, you’ll want to make sure you’ve thought things through completely. By writing down your thoughts, you can prepare yourself for the inevitable breakup conversation. Start by asking yourself a straightforward question, like “Why isn’t this relationship working anymore?”\\nRead out loud what you write in your journal, too. In many break-up cases, frustration and anger come from not being seen, heard, valued, and respected. You'll feel a lot better if you take time to express and listen to yourself.\\nAt the end of a relationship, you might be tempted to idealize your partner. It might feel petty, but write down the qualities about them that you don’t like—remember that this journal is just for you.\\nBreakups are a good time to reflect on what you’ve learned. What has this relationship taught you about yourself, and what lessons can you take away from it?\\nKeep journaling after the break-up, too—it's a good way to help process your healing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You aren’t going through this alone.\", \"描述\": \"Your friends and family are there to support you, and as the breakup approaches, try reaching out to them to talk through your feelings. Remind yourself that you have other meaningful relationships in your life, not just the one with your partner. These relationships will help you through this tough moment in your life.\\nBe sure that you’re talking to people who you can trust to keep information confidential. You don’t want your partner hearing about your feelings from someone other than you.\\nIf you feel comfortable doing so, talking to total strangers can also be a good idea. If you meet someone you click with, try opening up to them—they might have some helpful advice for you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep busy with other activities.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Healthy distractions show you what else life has to offer.\", \"描述\": \"Before your breakup, fill your time with friends and family by taking trips, volunteering, or trying out a new hobby. These activities won’t just keep you from dwelling too long on the relationship, but will also remind you that an incredibly rewarding life is waiting for you when you’re single.\\nIf you’re struggling to think about how you’d like to fill your time, try asking your friends what they like doing. If they mention something that sounds interesting to you, ask if you can tag along next time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get into some self-care habits.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prioritizing your health can keep you emotionally strong.\", \"描述\": \"Though we’ve all seen people in movies spending all day hiding under the covers with a tub of ice cream during a breakup, this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with the situation. Instead, focus on developing habits of eating well, sleeping enough, and staying active before the breakup, so that you can continue these habits afterward.\\nBe sure to spend some time every day doing something just for you, whether that means taking a long bath, taking a walk, or curling up with a book.\\nMeditation, yoga, and mindfulness exercises are also great ways to practice self-care and keep yourself mentally strong.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prepare for life after the breakup.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make new routines to replace old ones.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re in a relationship, you likely end up sharing several different kinds of routines with your partner. After the breakup, not having these routines can make you feel less grounded. Try seeing if there are other people that can fill the shoes of your partner, so that you can make the adjustment to being single more easily.\\nFor example, if you and your partner normally talk to each other at night to wind down after a day at work, see if there’s a friend or family member who’d be willing to do the same with you.\\nOr, if you and your partner are fitness buddies, find a new workout partner at work or at your gym.\\nRoutines help you feel safe, grounded, and organized. Plus, they help you feel like there's some level of order in your life, which is really valuable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Have the conversation soon.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A quick breakup is the fastest way to heal.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve made up your mind that this relationship is falling apart, have a conversation with your partner as soon as you can. By prolonging the inevitable end to the relationship, moving on becomes more difficult. Be confident when you have the conversation, and try not to let yourself be convinced into keeping something going when it isn’t working.\\nIf you’re worried that your partner is going to make a scene, try breaking up with them in a public location.\\nIf you live separately from your partner, and you can trust them to keep their emotions under control, it’s a good idea to break up with them at their house. That way, you can leave once you’ve said everything you needed to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Do a closure ritual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A symbolic gesture can give you a clean break.\", \"描述\": \"After a breakup, you might still feel too emotionally attached to your partner. A closure ritual is an action that you can take in order to symbolize the end of your relationship with your previous partner and help you move on. For example, you can try doing something like:\\nWriting a letter to your ex and not sending it\\nRemoving all the photos you have of your ex in your home and on social media\\nBurning reminders of your ex in a ceremonial way\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Go no contact for 30 days.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"No contact is the fastest way to move on.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re in a relationship with someone, their presence in your life provides chemicals to your brain that are similar to addictive drugs. To beat these symptoms of withdrawal, a no-contact policy, which means no face-to-face contact or messaging over text and social media, is the best solution.\\nIf you’re struggling to stay no contact, remind yourself that this is only temporary. After a month, if both you and your partner feel comfortable with it, you can revisit your relationship as casual friends.\\nUse this time to refocus on yourself and what's next.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Try casually dating if you feel comfortable with it.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meeting new people can bring back excitement to your life.\", \"描述\": \"Although jumping into a rebound relationship isn’t the best way to deal with a breakup, casually seeing new people can give you something to look forward to. Be honest about what you’re looking for and embrace the freedom you have as a newly single person.\\nLetting someone know up front that you just got out of a relationship and want to take things slow is a good idea. This can prevent feelings from getting hurt.\\nWhen meeting someone new, you can say something like: “I’m really excited to meet you. I want to let you know that I just got out of a relationship, and I’m looking to keep things slow or casual.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Embrace your new possibilities.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being single comes with a lot of benefits.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re single, you can focus on what it is that you want out of life, without compromise. Take being single as an opportunity to do all of the things that you may have missed out on while you were in a relationship—soon, you’ll be more grateful for the breakup than ever before.\\nTry taking yourself out on dates—whether it’s to a movie that you’re excited about or a restaurant that you always wanted to try, enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever it is you’d like.\\nStep outside your comfort zone by picking up a new hobby. If you’ve always wanted to try a cooking or art class, now is your chance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Talk to a therapist to process your emotions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A professional can give you the space you need to heal.\", \"描述\": \"Finding a therapist can help you navigate the fallout from the end of a relationship, since they have plenty of wisdom and experience on this matter. By talking about your feelings in a safe space, you may be able to learn a lot about yourself, and use this knowledge to build even better future relationships.\"}]}]}}",
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136 | How to Accept Yourself, Your Life, and Your Reality | 1. Fostering Acceptance
1-1. Acknowledge your strengths.
It's so easy to look in the mirror and point out your insecurities. But, instead of counting all the things you wish you could be, try counting all the things that you are. Make a list of your strengths, such as the things you are good at, the values that you hold, and the friends that you have.
If you are having trouble brainstorming what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member what they think are your most positive traits.
1-2. Be honest with yourself.
This is one of the hardest things for many of us to do, but it is a necessary step toward navigating your life. In many of today's societies that focus on the individual, we are encouraged to strive for success, and often we look for praise as the acknowledgment of that success. We take any criticism as a negative thing, so we shy away from seeing anything about ourselves that elicits that reaction. Do your best to reframe your perceived flaws as the things that truly make you unique.
To try to be honest with yourself, imagine that you are observing yourself through a stranger's eyes. Ask yourself what that person thinks about you, and be as objective as possible based on the facts, rather than what you think about yourself.
1-3. Admit Mistakes.
Remember that you can't fix it until you can admit there is a problem. You can view mistakes that you make as learning opportunities, as ways to get where you want to go in life. Have faith in yourself, realize only you can change you, only you can control your destiny. Decide what is important to you and set your mind to it. Remove self-doubt and have faith you can become what you envision.
When you realize that mistakes are learning opportunities and that your reality isn't always fixed, you will be more likely to persist in the face of challenge, to persevere, and to grow in meaningful ways. Try to see challenges as learning opportunities, and as potential moments for growing. It's all about how you perceive the situation.
1-4. Talk to someone you trust.
Vent your feelings about your life to a friend or family member who cares for you and will give you the attention that you need. You may find that just by putting your thoughts out in the open that you realize that they are excessive or that your life isn't so bad after all.
If you don't feel like just venting, try asking your friend or family member for advice on how to change or improve your life in the ways that you don't want to accept.
1-5. Seek professional help.
Sometimes it is easier or more efficient to get outside help from a professional. A therapist can help you to learn to accept yourself and your reality. This could be a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a licensed counselor or other mental health professional.
To find a psychologist in your area, try this website: http://locator.apa.org/
2. Practicing Mindfulness
2-1. Learn the benefits of mindfulness.
Being mindful of your reality and your sensations has been found to be efficacious in helping individuals to foster self-acceptance. Some forms of mindfulness training involving self-compassion require learning from a professional, but others can be practiced in the comfort of your own home. Some of the benefits of mindful self-compassion include:
Learning to be less self-critical.
Learning to cope with problematic emotions.
Learning to motivate yourself with encouragement rather than criticizing yourself.
2-2. Set aside time and set an alarm.
Give yourself 10-20 quiet minutes each evening or morning to meditate. Once you set an alarm, you can let your mind go, knowing that you won't be late for work or anything else because your alarm will keep you to your schedule.
Make sure your alarm is set on a quiet and pleasant sound to ease you out of your mindfulness session.
2-3. Sit upright in a chair.
Find your most comfortable chair and then sit down in it. Keep a straight posture and close your eyes to minimize outside distractions.
Also place your chair in the quietest part of your house to reduce distractions.
2-4. Observe your breathing.
Pay attention to the way you breathe but keep it natural, do not adjust it unless you feel that you need to for comfort. Feel every aspect of your breath going in through your nose/mouth, down into your lungs, and energizing your whole body.
Feel the old breath coming up and out and sending some of your physical and mental tension away with it.
Do your best to avoid slumping, but you might let your body relax a little.
2-5. Count your breaths.
Keep track of the number of breaths you have taken up to four, and then start over. Only think about your breath and your body.
If you find yourself thinking about something else, accept that your attention wandered but do not judge yourself. Just gently bring your mind back to focus on your breathing.
2-6. Be consistent.
Practice mindfulness meditation each day and gradually you will notice that you become more alert and accepting of yourself and your surroundings as you get better at just being without evaluating.
It can take a lot of practice to get this down, so do not give up! Know that it may take a while.
Tips
There are certain factors beyond your control. Don't try to control them. Simply put every idea into action and work hard towards it.
Don't blame others for the choices you have made.
Find a picture of yourself from back when you were little. Think about how far you've come since then. Look at how much you have grown since then and think about all the goals you've accomplished. You're a great person, so don't think of yourself like you're nothing because everyone has a purpose in life. Remember that to try to infuse your life with meaning.
Warnings
If you ever find your life to be too overwhelming, seek professional help.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Fostering Acceptance\\n1-1. Acknowledge your strengths.\\nIt's so easy to look in the mirror and point out your insecurities. But, instead of counting all the things you wish you could be, try counting all the things that you are. Make a list of your strengths, such as the things you are good at, the values that you hold, and the friends that you have.\\nIf you are having trouble brainstorming what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member what they think are your most positive traits.\\n1-2. Be honest with yourself.\\nThis is one of the hardest things for many of us to do, but it is a necessary step toward navigating your life. In many of today's societies that focus on the individual, we are encouraged to strive for success, and often we look for praise as the acknowledgment of that success. We take any criticism as a negative thing, so we shy away from seeing anything about ourselves that elicits that reaction. Do your best to reframe your perceived flaws as the things that truly make you unique.\\nTo try to be honest with yourself, imagine that you are observing yourself through a stranger's eyes. Ask yourself what that person thinks about you, and be as objective as possible based on the facts, rather than what you think about yourself.\\n1-3. Admit Mistakes.\\nRemember that you can't fix it until you can admit there is a problem. You can view mistakes that you make as learning opportunities, as ways to get where you want to go in life. Have faith in yourself, realize only you can change you, only you can control your destiny. Decide what is important to you and set your mind to it. Remove self-doubt and have faith you can become what you envision.\\nWhen you realize that mistakes are learning opportunities and that your reality isn't always fixed, you will be more likely to persist in the face of challenge, to persevere, and to grow in meaningful ways. Try to see challenges as learning opportunities, and as potential moments for growing. It's all about how you perceive the situation.\\n1-4. Talk to someone you trust.\\nVent your feelings about your life to a friend or family member who cares for you and will give you the attention that you need. You may find that just by putting your thoughts out in the open that you realize that they are excessive or that your life isn't so bad after all.\\nIf you don't feel like just venting, try asking your friend or family member for advice on how to change or improve your life in the ways that you don't want to accept.\\n1-5. Seek professional help.\\nSometimes it is easier or more efficient to get outside help from a professional. A therapist can help you to learn to accept yourself and your reality. This could be a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a licensed counselor or other mental health professional.\\nTo find a psychologist in your area, try this website: http://locator.apa.org/\\n2. Practicing Mindfulness\\n2-1. Learn the benefits of mindfulness.\\nBeing mindful of your reality and your sensations has been found to be efficacious in helping individuals to foster self-acceptance. Some forms of mindfulness training involving self-compassion require learning from a professional, but others can be practiced in the comfort of your own home. Some of the benefits of mindful self-compassion include:\\nLearning to be less self-critical.\\nLearning to cope with problematic emotions.\\nLearning to motivate yourself with encouragement rather than criticizing yourself.\\n2-2. Set aside time and set an alarm.\\nGive yourself 10-20 quiet minutes each evening or morning to meditate. Once you set an alarm, you can let your mind go, knowing that you won't be late for work or anything else because your alarm will keep you to your schedule.\\nMake sure your alarm is set on a quiet and pleasant sound to ease you out of your mindfulness session.\\n2-3. Sit upright in a chair.\\nFind your most comfortable chair and then sit down in it. Keep a straight posture and close your eyes to minimize outside distractions.\\nAlso place your chair in the quietest part of your house to reduce distractions.\\n2-4. Observe your breathing.\\nPay attention to the way you breathe but keep it natural, do not adjust it unless you feel that you need to for comfort. Feel every aspect of your breath going in through your nose/mouth, down into your lungs, and energizing your whole body.\\nFeel the old breath coming up and out and sending some of your physical and mental tension away with it.\\nDo your best to avoid slumping, but you might let your body relax a little.\\n2-5. Count your breaths.\\nKeep track of the number of breaths you have taken up to four, and then start over. Only think about your breath and your body.\\nIf you find yourself thinking about something else, accept that your attention wandered but do not judge yourself. Just gently bring your mind back to focus on your breathing.\\n2-6. Be consistent.\\nPractice mindfulness meditation each day and gradually you will notice that you become more alert and accepting of yourself and your surroundings as you get better at just being without evaluating.\\nIt can take a lot of practice to get this down, so do not give up! Know that it may take a while.\\nTips\\nThere are certain factors beyond your control. Don't try to control them. Simply put every idea into action and work hard towards it.\\nDon't blame others for the choices you have made.\\nFind a picture of yourself from back when you were little. Think about how far you've come since then. Look at how much you have grown since then and think about all the goals you've accomplished. You're a great person, so don't think of yourself like you're nothing because everyone has a purpose in life. Remember that to try to infuse your life with meaning.\\nWarnings\\nIf you ever find your life to be too overwhelming, seek professional help.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be hard to accept yourself, your life, and the reality that you live. Maybe you don't like your future prospects or dislike an aspect of your personality, or some days you don't like something about how you look. It is common for people to be critical of themselves, but there are a number of ways to learn to accept yourself and your life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fostering Acceptance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your strengths.\", \"描述\": \"It's so easy to look in the mirror and point out your insecurities. But, instead of counting all the things you wish you could be, try counting all the things that you are. Make a list of your strengths, such as the things you are good at, the values that you hold, and the friends that you have.\\nIf you are having trouble brainstorming what your strengths are, ask a friend or family member what they think are your most positive traits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest with yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is one of the hardest things for many of us to do, but it is a necessary step toward navigating your life. In many of today's societies that focus on the individual, we are encouraged to strive for success, and often we look for praise as the acknowledgment of that success. We take any criticism as a negative thing, so we shy away from seeing anything about ourselves that elicits that reaction. Do your best to reframe your perceived flaws as the things that truly make you unique.\\nTo try to be honest with yourself, imagine that you are observing yourself through a stranger's eyes. Ask yourself what that person thinks about you, and be as objective as possible based on the facts, rather than what you think about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Admit Mistakes.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that you can't fix it until you can admit there is a problem. You can view mistakes that you make as learning opportunities, as ways to get where you want to go in life. Have faith in yourself, realize only you can change you, only you can control your destiny. Decide what is important to you and set your mind to it. Remove self-doubt and have faith you can become what you envision.\\nWhen you realize that mistakes are learning opportunities and that your reality isn't always fixed, you will be more likely to persist in the face of challenge, to persevere, and to grow in meaningful ways. Try to see challenges as learning opportunities, and as potential moments for growing. It's all about how you perceive the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust.\", \"描述\": \"Vent your feelings about your life to a friend or family member who cares for you and will give you the attention that you need. You may find that just by putting your thoughts out in the open that you realize that they are excessive or that your life isn't so bad after all.\\nIf you don't feel like just venting, try asking your friend or family member for advice on how to change or improve your life in the ways that you don't want to accept.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Seek professional help.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it is easier or more efficient to get outside help from a professional. A therapist can help you to learn to accept yourself and your reality. This could be a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a licensed counselor or other mental health professional.\\nTo find a psychologist in your area, try this website: http://locator.apa.org/\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practicing Mindfulness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn the benefits of mindfulness.\", \"描述\": \"Being mindful of your reality and your sensations has been found to be efficacious in helping individuals to foster self-acceptance. Some forms of mindfulness training involving self-compassion require learning from a professional, but others can be practiced in the comfort of your own home. Some of the benefits of mindful self-compassion include:\\nLearning to be less self-critical.\\nLearning to cope with problematic emotions.\\nLearning to motivate yourself with encouragement rather than criticizing yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set aside time and set an alarm.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself 10-20 quiet minutes each evening or morning to meditate. Once you set an alarm, you can let your mind go, knowing that you won't be late for work or anything else because your alarm will keep you to your schedule.\\nMake sure your alarm is set on a quiet and pleasant sound to ease you out of your mindfulness session.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sit upright in a chair.\", \"描述\": \"Find your most comfortable chair and then sit down in it. Keep a straight posture and close your eyes to minimize outside distractions.\\nAlso place your chair in the quietest part of your house to reduce distractions.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Observe your breathing.\", \"描述\": \"Pay attention to the way you breathe but keep it natural, do not adjust it unless you feel that you need to for comfort. Feel every aspect of your breath going in through your nose/mouth, down into your lungs, and energizing your whole body.\\nFeel the old breath coming up and out and sending some of your physical and mental tension away with it.\\nDo your best to avoid slumping, but you might let your body relax a little.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Count your breaths.\", \"描述\": \"Keep track of the number of breaths you have taken up to four, and then start over. Only think about your breath and your body.\\nIf you find yourself thinking about something else, accept that your attention wandered but do not judge yourself. Just gently bring your mind back to focus on your breathing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be consistent.\", \"描述\": \"Practice mindfulness meditation each day and gradually you will notice that you become more alert and accepting of yourself and your surroundings as you get better at just being without evaluating.\\nIt can take a lot of practice to get this down, so do not give up! Know that it may take a while.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"There are certain factors beyond your control. Don't try to control them. Simply put every idea into action and work hard towards it.\\n\", \"Don't blame others for the choices you have made.\\n\", \"Find a picture of yourself from back when you were little. Think about how far you've come since then. Look at how much you have grown since then and think about all the goals you've accomplished. You're a great person, so don't think of yourself like you're nothing because everyone has a purpose in life. Remember that to try to infuse your life with meaning.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you ever find your life to be too overwhelming, seek professional help.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
137 | How to Accept Yourself As Bisexual | 1. Embracing Your Sexuality
1-1. Define your bisexuality on your terms.
The word bisexual means different things to different people. In general, it means being attracted to men and women. However, there are varying degrees of bisexuality. If you want to embrace your sexuality, spend some time thinking about what the label means to you.
Sexuality is fluid and difficult to define. Understand that, when using the word bisexual, it's okay if it means something different to you than other people. You may be interested in both men and women sexually, but only men romantically. You may have always had sexual feelings for men and women, or you may have developed sexual feelings for a particular gender later in life.
There is no right or wrong way to be bisexual. While there are some people that insist that 50/50 makes someone bisexual, this view does not match up with reality. While some people do experience equal levels of attraction, others do not. If you are bisexual, it's acceptable to define yourself however you want.
Pay attention to yourself and your own feelings. It's okay if your definition of your bisexuality differs slightly from another person's bisexuality. Everyone is different.
1-2. Ignore those who tell you to pick a side.
Many people do not understand bisexuality. People may feel you should pick a side instead of dating both men and women. A common criticism bisexual people get is that they're indecisive or greedy. Ignore these criticisms. Remember, many people are attracted to both men and women. You cannot change your sexuality, and so it's impossible for you to simply choose between genders.
If you feel attraction to both genders, you should not have to choose. Many bisexual people feel torn between the gay and straight community, as they do not feel quite one way or another.
You don't have to choose between one gender or another, or one community or another. As the LGBT community gets more diverse, you can feel a full part of that even if you still feel sexual and romantic attraction to people of the opposite sex.
If people tell you to pick sides, try to tune it out. Say something like, "I'm bisexual and attracted to both genders. I don't need to pick a side and it's actually not really possible for me to do that."
1-3. Remember you do not have to compromise your sexuality.
Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding bisexuality. Some people do not believe bisexuality exists. Some people do not want to date bisexual people for fear of infidelity. Never play down or deny your bisexuality for the sake of others. You should not tolerate those who don't accept you for you.
Never avoid labeling yourself or discussing your feelings of attraction for both men and women. Some people may express confusion, or even make offensive comments. However, it is not your job to make people like you. This is especially true if you have to hide your identity to fit in.
True friends and allies will support you without question. You get to choose the people you spend time with and should not tolerate friends or romantic partners who do not offer support.
Remember the world is always changing. Each time you identify as bisexual and refuse to compromise this, you're helping people around you be more aware and accepting.
Understand that infidelity means being unfaithful to a partner you have agreed to have a committed, monogamous relationship with.
2. Developing the Right Mindset
2-1. Recite a personal mantra.
Many people will try to tell you there's something wrong with you. There are people who feel any type of same-sex attraction is wrong. There are also people who feel it's greedy or selfish to pursue men and women. Some people may deny bisexuality exists altogether. Create a mantra for yourself that reminds you that bisexuality is not wrong and it's natural to be attracted to both genders.
If you feel bad about your sexuality, remind yourself of this. Say something like, "I am bisexual, that is perfectly natural and valid, and there is nothing wrong with me."
While no one knows precisely why and how sexuality develops, people have little control over feelings of physical and romantic attraction. Your sexuality is who you are. It's never an indication there is something wrong with you.
2-2. Know you're not alone.
It can sometimes help to remind yourself of how many other people identify the way you do. Coming out can sometimes be a lonely process, especially if a lot of your friends and family members are heterosexual. However, even if it feels like it at times, know that you are not alone in your feelings.
There are thousands of people who identify as LGBT. A quick internet search for bisexuality is bound to find many resources where people discuss being bisexual and what it means for them. Remember, bisexual is LGBT, as the "B" stands for "bisexual." It may not seem like it just because, say, you're a bisexual female and you are dating a heterosexual male. You are still bisexual, you have not chosen males over females just because of this heterosexual male.
Never feel like you're the only one who feels this way. Reminding yourself that there are thousands of bisexual people in the world can help you remember it's a valid identity.
2-3. Work on liking yourself the way you are.
You have a right to feel good about yourself. This can be difficult at times, as there's still a lot of stigma surrounding bisexuality. Try to work on building your self-esteem and embracing yourself for who you are.
Seek out bi-positive people to talk to. Talk about your sexuality with supportive friends and family members. If there is an LGBT resource center in your community, try seeing if they have bisexual discussion groups.
Remind yourself that you are okay. People may tell you it's wrong to be bisexual, but let them have their opinions while reminding yourself that you are happy and healthy. Your sexuality does not define your sense of self, self-esteem, or overall happiness.
2-4. Accept there is no right way to be bisexual.
Many people feel they should act a certain way if they identify as bisexual. You may, for example, feel you should be extra committed to monogamy because of stereotypes about bisexual people being prone to infidelity. However, remind yourself your sexuality is only one component of who you are. There is no right way to be bisexual, because every aspect of your behavior is not related to your sexuality.
Some people who are bisexual prefer committed relationships. Other are polyamorous or prefer open relationships. Others are still dating around and uninterested in committing to a single person.
This spectrum of romantic and sexual preferences exists for any sexual orientation. One's feelings about things like fidelity and monogamy are not related to whether they identify as straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, or any other orientation.
Pursue whatever types of relationships you want and that will make you happy. If you want a monogamous relationship, be in a monogamous relationship. If you want an open relationship, be in an open relationship. You do not have to follow any rules regarding relationships or dating simply because you are bisexual.
3. Seeking Support from Others
3-1. Open up about being bisexual.
Don’t feel pressured to talk about your sexuality, but understand that it can be a positive experience. You don’t need to label yourself if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to choose between your faith and your sexuality. It may be helpful to read about how other people came out to their friends and family. You may also want to open up to one person and tell them you are bisexual. When you feel comfortable with that step, you can move on to telling others.
Read online forums such as “Empty Closets,” which show how others handle coming out and other issues related to their bisexuality (https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/advice-on-coming-out-to-parents-as-bisexual.259741/).
3-2. Talk to others about your sexuality.
If you want support, reach out to others. Let them know you're bisexual and explain to them what that means on your terms. Let them know what they can do to support you. Be direct when talking about your sexuality. For example, say something like, "I just wanted you to know I'm bisexual. I've dated men and women. A lot of people assume I'm straight, but I'm not."
Let the person know what they can do to help. Maybe you just need someone to vent your feelings to someone at times. It can be frustrating to be a part of a marginalized group. Maybe you just want people to watch about the assumptions they make. For example, "If I mention going on a date, I don't want you to assume that it was with a particular gender. It's okay to ask me if I was on a date with a man or a woman."
You should also let people know if there are some people you don't want to know about your sexuality. It's okay if you don't want to tell everyone you're bi at first. Many people initially come out to a few close friends, so let people know if you're not ready to be out to everyone right now. For example, "Just so you know, I haven't told a lot of people yet. Can we keep this between us for now?"
3-3. Share information with friends and family members about your sexuality.
Not everyone will understand your sexuality right away. If people are confused or need more information, refer them to a website about bisexuality. You should also let them know they can feel free to ask you any questions they have about your orientation. You should encourage your friends to explore information about the LGBT community so they can better understand your feelings.
3-4. Embrace your place in the LGBT community.
Many bisexual people feel they don't have a place in the LGBT community, as they don't fit into a single category. However, if you are bisexual, you are on the LGBT spectrum. It's okay to identify as such, and participate in LGBT oriented events. This can help you find support.
Remember, who you choose to date does not define your sexuality. If you're currently in a relationship with someone of different sex, you do not need to feel alienated from the LGBT community. You're still bisexual, regardless of your current relationships.
Remember that your identity is valid. Do not feel like you're intruding by becoming involved in the LGBT community in your area.
3-5. Learn about other bisexual people.
You may feel support knowing there are well-known people who are bisexual. Learning and reading about others can help you normalize your own views about your sexuality. Research celebrities or famous people from the past, such as artists and authors, who were bisexual. This will make you feel your orientation is valid and one that many share.
3-6. Attend support groups.
Meeting more bisexual people can help you get advice on self-acceptance. Find a local group that is bi-inclusive. Go to conferences that centered bisexuality. Look for support groups online. Reaching out to other bisexual people can help you accept yourself.
If you're still in high school, see if there's a Gay Straight Alliance at your school.
Tips
Don't expect to understand your bisexuality overnight. It is a part of you that must be developed and explored over a lifetime. If you become overwhelmed by realizing you're bisexual, remember that it is not the only thing that makes you who you are. There are many other aspects to nurture about yourself.
Avoid talking to people who try to convince you that you're just confused and not bisexual.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:27",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Embracing Your Sexuality\\n1-1. Define your bisexuality on your terms.\\nThe word bisexual means different things to different people. In general, it means being attracted to men and women. However, there are varying degrees of bisexuality. If you want to embrace your sexuality, spend some time thinking about what the label means to you.\\nSexuality is fluid and difficult to define. Understand that, when using the word bisexual, it's okay if it means something different to you than other people. You may be interested in both men and women sexually, but only men romantically. You may have always had sexual feelings for men and women, or you may have developed sexual feelings for a particular gender later in life.\\nThere is no right or wrong way to be bisexual. While there are some people that insist that 50/50 makes someone bisexual, this view does not match up with reality. While some people do experience equal levels of attraction, others do not. If you are bisexual, it's acceptable to define yourself however you want.\\nPay attention to yourself and your own feelings. It's okay if your definition of your bisexuality differs slightly from another person's bisexuality. Everyone is different.\\n1-2. Ignore those who tell you to pick a side.\\nMany people do not understand bisexuality. People may feel you should pick a side instead of dating both men and women. A common criticism bisexual people get is that they're indecisive or greedy. Ignore these criticisms. Remember, many people are attracted to both men and women. You cannot change your sexuality, and so it's impossible for you to simply choose between genders.\\nIf you feel attraction to both genders, you should not have to choose. Many bisexual people feel torn between the gay and straight community, as they do not feel quite one way or another.\\nYou don't have to choose between one gender or another, or one community or another. As the LGBT community gets more diverse, you can feel a full part of that even if you still feel sexual and romantic attraction to people of the opposite sex.\\nIf people tell you to pick sides, try to tune it out. Say something like, \\\"I'm bisexual and attracted to both genders. I don't need to pick a side and it's actually not really possible for me to do that.\\\"\\n1-3. Remember you do not have to compromise your sexuality.\\nUnfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding bisexuality. Some people do not believe bisexuality exists. Some people do not want to date bisexual people for fear of infidelity. Never play down or deny your bisexuality for the sake of others. You should not tolerate those who don't accept you for you.\\nNever avoid labeling yourself or discussing your feelings of attraction for both men and women. Some people may express confusion, or even make offensive comments. However, it is not your job to make people like you. This is especially true if you have to hide your identity to fit in.\\nTrue friends and allies will support you without question. You get to choose the people you spend time with and should not tolerate friends or romantic partners who do not offer support.\\nRemember the world is always changing. Each time you identify as bisexual and refuse to compromise this, you're helping people around you be more aware and accepting.\\nUnderstand that infidelity means being unfaithful to a partner you have agreed to have a committed, monogamous relationship with.\\n2. Developing the Right Mindset\\n2-1. Recite a personal mantra.\\nMany people will try to tell you there's something wrong with you. There are people who feel any type of same-sex attraction is wrong. There are also people who feel it's greedy or selfish to pursue men and women. Some people may deny bisexuality exists altogether. Create a mantra for yourself that reminds you that bisexuality is not wrong and it's natural to be attracted to both genders.\\nIf you feel bad about your sexuality, remind yourself of this. Say something like, \\\"I am bisexual, that is perfectly natural and valid, and there is nothing wrong with me.\\\"\\nWhile no one knows precisely why and how sexuality develops, people have little control over feelings of physical and romantic attraction. Your sexuality is who you are. It's never an indication there is something wrong with you.\\n2-2. Know you're not alone.\\nIt can sometimes help to remind yourself of how many other people identify the way you do. Coming out can sometimes be a lonely process, especially if a lot of your friends and family members are heterosexual. However, even if it feels like it at times, know that you are not alone in your feelings.\\nThere are thousands of people who identify as LGBT. A quick internet search for bisexuality is bound to find many resources where people discuss being bisexual and what it means for them. Remember, bisexual is LGBT, as the \\\"B\\\" stands for \\\"bisexual.\\\" It may not seem like it just because, say, you're a bisexual female and you are dating a heterosexual male. You are still bisexual, you have not chosen males over females just because of this heterosexual male.\\nNever feel like you're the only one who feels this way. Reminding yourself that there are thousands of bisexual people in the world can help you remember it's a valid identity.\\n2-3. Work on liking yourself the way you are.\\nYou have a right to feel good about yourself. This can be difficult at times, as there's still a lot of stigma surrounding bisexuality. Try to work on building your self-esteem and embracing yourself for who you are.\\nSeek out bi-positive people to talk to. Talk about your sexuality with supportive friends and family members. If there is an LGBT resource center in your community, try seeing if they have bisexual discussion groups.\\nRemind yourself that you are okay. People may tell you it's wrong to be bisexual, but let them have their opinions while reminding yourself that you are happy and healthy. Your sexuality does not define your sense of self, self-esteem, or overall happiness.\\n2-4. Accept there is no right way to be bisexual.\\nMany people feel they should act a certain way if they identify as bisexual. You may, for example, feel you should be extra committed to monogamy because of stereotypes about bisexual people being prone to infidelity. However, remind yourself your sexuality is only one component of who you are. There is no right way to be bisexual, because every aspect of your behavior is not related to your sexuality.\\nSome people who are bisexual prefer committed relationships. Other are polyamorous or prefer open relationships. Others are still dating around and uninterested in committing to a single person.\\nThis spectrum of romantic and sexual preferences exists for any sexual orientation. One's feelings about things like fidelity and monogamy are not related to whether they identify as straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, or any other orientation.\\nPursue whatever types of relationships you want and that will make you happy. If you want a monogamous relationship, be in a monogamous relationship. If you want an open relationship, be in an open relationship. You do not have to follow any rules regarding relationships or dating simply because you are bisexual.\\n3. Seeking Support from Others\\n3-1. Open up about being bisexual.\\nDon’t feel pressured to talk about your sexuality, but understand that it can be a positive experience. You don’t need to label yourself if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to choose between your faith and your sexuality. It may be helpful to read about how other people came out to their friends and family. You may also want to open up to one person and tell them you are bisexual. When you feel comfortable with that step, you can move on to telling others.\\nRead online forums such as “Empty Closets,” which show how others handle coming out and other issues related to their bisexuality (https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/advice-on-coming-out-to-parents-as-bisexual.259741/).\\n3-2. Talk to others about your sexuality.\\nIf you want support, reach out to others. Let them know you're bisexual and explain to them what that means on your terms. Let them know what they can do to support you. Be direct when talking about your sexuality. For example, say something like, \\\"I just wanted you to know I'm bisexual. I've dated men and women. A lot of people assume I'm straight, but I'm not.\\\" \\nLet the person know what they can do to help. Maybe you just need someone to vent your feelings to someone at times. It can be frustrating to be a part of a marginalized group. Maybe you just want people to watch about the assumptions they make. For example, \\\"If I mention going on a date, I don't want you to assume that it was with a particular gender. It's okay to ask me if I was on a date with a man or a woman.\\\"\\nYou should also let people know if there are some people you don't want to know about your sexuality. It's okay if you don't want to tell everyone you're bi at first. Many people initially come out to a few close friends, so let people know if you're not ready to be out to everyone right now. For example, \\\"Just so you know, I haven't told a lot of people yet. Can we keep this between us for now?\\\"\\n3-3. Share information with friends and family members about your sexuality.\\nNot everyone will understand your sexuality right away. If people are confused or need more information, refer them to a website about bisexuality. You should also let them know they can feel free to ask you any questions they have about your orientation. You should encourage your friends to explore information about the LGBT community so they can better understand your feelings.\\n3-4. Embrace your place in the LGBT community.\\nMany bisexual people feel they don't have a place in the LGBT community, as they don't fit into a single category. However, if you are bisexual, you are on the LGBT spectrum. It's okay to identify as such, and participate in LGBT oriented events. This can help you find support.\\nRemember, who you choose to date does not define your sexuality. If you're currently in a relationship with someone of different sex, you do not need to feel alienated from the LGBT community. You're still bisexual, regardless of your current relationships.\\nRemember that your identity is valid. Do not feel like you're intruding by becoming involved in the LGBT community in your area.\\n3-5. Learn about other bisexual people.\\nYou may feel support knowing there are well-known people who are bisexual. Learning and reading about others can help you normalize your own views about your sexuality. Research celebrities or famous people from the past, such as artists and authors, who were bisexual. This will make you feel your orientation is valid and one that many share.\\n3-6. Attend support groups.\\nMeeting more bisexual people can help you get advice on self-acceptance. Find a local group that is bi-inclusive. Go to conferences that centered bisexuality. Look for support groups online. Reaching out to other bisexual people can help you accept yourself.\\nIf you're still in high school, see if there's a Gay Straight Alliance at your school.\\nTips\\nDon't expect to understand your bisexuality overnight. It is a part of you that must be developed and explored over a lifetime. If you become overwhelmed by realizing you're bisexual, remember that it is not the only thing that makes you who you are. There are many other aspects to nurture about yourself.\\nAvoid talking to people who try to convince you that you're just confused and not bisexual.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you've struggled to solve the mystery of your own sexuality, or you've been told by others it's \\\"just a phase,\\\" coming to terms with your bisexuality might present unique and tough challenges. The truth is though, you're perfect just the way you are; and what's more, there are actually tons of effective, psychology-backed tips that can help you feel totally comfortable with your sexuality. And that's exactly how you deserve to feel! Read on for your complete guide below.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Embracing Your Sexuality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Define your bisexuality on your terms.\", \"描述\": \"The word bisexual means different things to different people. In general, it means being attracted to men and women. However, there are varying degrees of bisexuality. If you want to embrace your sexuality, spend some time thinking about what the label means to you.\\nSexuality is fluid and difficult to define. Understand that, when using the word bisexual, it's okay if it means something different to you than other people. You may be interested in both men and women sexually, but only men romantically. You may have always had sexual feelings for men and women, or you may have developed sexual feelings for a particular gender later in life.\\nThere is no right or wrong way to be bisexual. While there are some people that insist that 50/50 makes someone bisexual, this view does not match up with reality. While some people do experience equal levels of attraction, others do not. If you are bisexual, it's acceptable to define yourself however you want.\\nPay attention to yourself and your own feelings. It's okay if your definition of your bisexuality differs slightly from another person's bisexuality. Everyone is different.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ignore those who tell you to pick a side.\", \"描述\": \"Many people do not understand bisexuality. People may feel you should pick a side instead of dating both men and women. A common criticism bisexual people get is that they're indecisive or greedy. Ignore these criticisms. Remember, many people are attracted to both men and women. You cannot change your sexuality, and so it's impossible for you to simply choose between genders.\\nIf you feel attraction to both genders, you should not have to choose. Many bisexual people feel torn between the gay and straight community, as they do not feel quite one way or another.\\nYou don't have to choose between one gender or another, or one community or another. As the LGBT community gets more diverse, you can feel a full part of that even if you still feel sexual and romantic attraction to people of the opposite sex.\\nIf people tell you to pick sides, try to tune it out. Say something like, \\\"I'm bisexual and attracted to both genders. I don't need to pick a side and it's actually not really possible for me to do that.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember you do not have to compromise your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding bisexuality. Some people do not believe bisexuality exists. Some people do not want to date bisexual people for fear of infidelity. Never play down or deny your bisexuality for the sake of others. You should not tolerate those who don't accept you for you.\\nNever avoid labeling yourself or discussing your feelings of attraction for both men and women. Some people may express confusion, or even make offensive comments. However, it is not your job to make people like you. This is especially true if you have to hide your identity to fit in.\\nTrue friends and allies will support you without question. You get to choose the people you spend time with and should not tolerate friends or romantic partners who do not offer support.\\nRemember the world is always changing. Each time you identify as bisexual and refuse to compromise this, you're helping people around you be more aware and accepting.\\nUnderstand that infidelity means being unfaithful to a partner you have agreed to have a committed, monogamous relationship with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Developing the Right Mindset\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recite a personal mantra.\", \"描述\": \"Many people will try to tell you there's something wrong with you. There are people who feel any type of same-sex attraction is wrong. There are also people who feel it's greedy or selfish to pursue men and women. Some people may deny bisexuality exists altogether. Create a mantra for yourself that reminds you that bisexuality is not wrong and it's natural to be attracted to both genders.\\nIf you feel bad about your sexuality, remind yourself of this. Say something like, \\\"I am bisexual, that is perfectly natural and valid, and there is nothing wrong with me.\\\"\\nWhile no one knows precisely why and how sexuality develops, people have little control over feelings of physical and romantic attraction. Your sexuality is who you are. It's never an indication there is something wrong with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know you're not alone.\", \"描述\": \"It can sometimes help to remind yourself of how many other people identify the way you do. Coming out can sometimes be a lonely process, especially if a lot of your friends and family members are heterosexual. However, even if it feels like it at times, know that you are not alone in your feelings.\\nThere are thousands of people who identify as LGBT. A quick internet search for bisexuality is bound to find many resources where people discuss being bisexual and what it means for them. Remember, bisexual is LGBT, as the \\\"B\\\" stands for \\\"bisexual.\\\" It may not seem like it just because, say, you're a bisexual female and you are dating a heterosexual male. You are still bisexual, you have not chosen males over females just because of this heterosexual male.\\nNever feel like you're the only one who feels this way. Reminding yourself that there are thousands of bisexual people in the world can help you remember it's a valid identity.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Work on liking yourself the way you are.\", \"描述\": \"You have a right to feel good about yourself. This can be difficult at times, as there's still a lot of stigma surrounding bisexuality. Try to work on building your self-esteem and embracing yourself for who you are.\\nSeek out bi-positive people to talk to. Talk about your sexuality with supportive friends and family members. If there is an LGBT resource center in your community, try seeing if they have bisexual discussion groups.\\nRemind yourself that you are okay. People may tell you it's wrong to be bisexual, but let them have their opinions while reminding yourself that you are happy and healthy. Your sexuality does not define your sense of self, self-esteem, or overall happiness.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept there is no right way to be bisexual.\", \"描述\": \"Many people feel they should act a certain way if they identify as bisexual. You may, for example, feel you should be extra committed to monogamy because of stereotypes about bisexual people being prone to infidelity. However, remind yourself your sexuality is only one component of who you are. There is no right way to be bisexual, because every aspect of your behavior is not related to your sexuality.\\nSome people who are bisexual prefer committed relationships. Other are polyamorous or prefer open relationships. Others are still dating around and uninterested in committing to a single person.\\nThis spectrum of romantic and sexual preferences exists for any sexual orientation. One's feelings about things like fidelity and monogamy are not related to whether they identify as straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, or any other orientation.\\nPursue whatever types of relationships you want and that will make you happy. If you want a monogamous relationship, be in a monogamous relationship. If you want an open relationship, be in an open relationship. You do not have to follow any rules regarding relationships or dating simply because you are bisexual.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Seeking Support from Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open up about being bisexual.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t feel pressured to talk about your sexuality, but understand that it can be a positive experience. You don’t need to label yourself if you don’t want to, and you don’t have to choose between your faith and your sexuality. It may be helpful to read about how other people came out to their friends and family. You may also want to open up to one person and tell them you are bisexual. When you feel comfortable with that step, you can move on to telling others.\\nRead online forums such as “Empty Closets,” which show how others handle coming out and other issues related to their bisexuality (https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/advice-on-coming-out-to-parents-as-bisexual.259741/).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to others about your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"If you want support, reach out to others. Let them know you're bisexual and explain to them what that means on your terms. Let them know what they can do to support you. Be direct when talking about your sexuality. For example, say something like, \\\"I just wanted you to know I'm bisexual. I've dated men and women. A lot of people assume I'm straight, but I'm not.\\\" \\nLet the person know what they can do to help. Maybe you just need someone to vent your feelings to someone at times. It can be frustrating to be a part of a marginalized group. Maybe you just want people to watch about the assumptions they make. For example, \\\"If I mention going on a date, I don't want you to assume that it was with a particular gender. It's okay to ask me if I was on a date with a man or a woman.\\\"\\nYou should also let people know if there are some people you don't want to know about your sexuality. It's okay if you don't want to tell everyone you're bi at first. Many people initially come out to a few close friends, so let people know if you're not ready to be out to everyone right now. For example, \\\"Just so you know, I haven't told a lot of people yet. Can we keep this between us for now?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share information with friends and family members about your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone will understand your sexuality right away. If people are confused or need more information, refer them to a website about bisexuality. You should also let them know they can feel free to ask you any questions they have about your orientation. You should encourage your friends to explore information about the LGBT community so they can better understand your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Embrace your place in the LGBT community.\", \"描述\": \"Many bisexual people feel they don't have a place in the LGBT community, as they don't fit into a single category. However, if you are bisexual, you are on the LGBT spectrum. It's okay to identify as such, and participate in LGBT oriented events. This can help you find support.\\nRemember, who you choose to date does not define your sexuality. If you're currently in a relationship with someone of different sex, you do not need to feel alienated from the LGBT community. You're still bisexual, regardless of your current relationships.\\nRemember that your identity is valid. Do not feel like you're intruding by becoming involved in the LGBT community in your area.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn about other bisexual people.\", \"描述\": \"You may feel support knowing there are well-known people who are bisexual. Learning and reading about others can help you normalize your own views about your sexuality. Research celebrities or famous people from the past, such as artists and authors, who were bisexual. This will make you feel your orientation is valid and one that many share.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Attend support groups.\", \"描述\": \"Meeting more bisexual people can help you get advice on self-acceptance. Find a local group that is bi-inclusive. Go to conferences that centered bisexuality. Look for support groups online. Reaching out to other bisexual people can help you accept yourself.\\nIf you're still in high school, see if there's a Gay Straight Alliance at your school.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't expect to understand your bisexuality overnight. It is a part of you that must be developed and explored over a lifetime. If you become overwhelmed by realizing you're bisexual, remember that it is not the only thing that makes you who you are. There are many other aspects to nurture about yourself.\\n\", \"Avoid talking to people who try to convince you that you're just confused and not bisexual.\\n\"]}]}}",
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138 | How to Accept Yourself As an LGBT Muslim | 1. Finding Acceptance in Islam
1-1. Understand that the Quran does not necessarily condemn homosexuality.
Homophobia exists in any religion, and sometimes, people will grasp at straws just to prove that they are "right". However, being gay or bisexual is actually not explicitly condemned in the Quran, contrary to what many Islamic schools of thought believe. There are many interpretations of the Quran, but there's no chapter or verse that directly says homosexuality is an offense.
The verse often quoted to condemn being gay in Islam, the story of the Prophet Lut, is frequently misinterpreted. It's heavily implied in the text that the sexual acts being condemned were rape rather than just same-gender relationships, and that the text overall was condemning greed and inhospitality.
The words "homosexual" and "homosexuality" are never explicitly used in the Quran, and lesbian or bisexual women are not mentioned. Furthermore, the Quran even mentions "men who are not in need of women" (which can be interpreted as men who are gay or asexual) in Verse 24:31-24:33, and these men are not condemned anywhere.
The Quran celebrates human diversity in many verses, and never specifically says that men must marry women, or vice versa.
Various sources confirm that LGBT+ people existed at various times in Islamic history.
1-2. Know that gender identity is not addressed in the Quran.
Some aspects of assigned sex are addressed in the Quran; an example is Verse 42:49-42:50 ("[... Allah] creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males; or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He will barren."), which can be interpreted as referring to intersex or transgender people. However, even this is not certain and is frequently debated! The Quran does not explicitly address people by gender - rather, it addresses them by sex. You will find gender identity being addressed more frequently in hadiths (some of which may not be authentic) than in the Quran.
Gender diversity is normal in some countries where Islam is a common religion, such as Indonesia, where five genders are recognized.
Transgender and nonbinary people don't "change" their gender - their gender already doesn't match their sex. It's not a choice.
Most Islamic scholars believe that cosmetic surgeries are acceptable when it's to correct a flaw in the body. This gives transgender and nonbinary people a way to receive gender-confirming surgeries they might wish to have, since it corrects flaws in their bodies.
1-3. Look for the authenticity of a hadith before believing it.
Some will use hadiths to condemn LGBT+ people, but hadiths are considered secondary to the Quran and are also heavily misinterpreted - sometimes being outright false. There's no easy way of determining a hadith's authenticity by yourself, but if the hadith is not in an existing, trusted collection, then steer clear of it. (Even trusted hadith collections can be contradictory, so be cautious with what you believe - if you choose to believe it at all).
Keep in mind that hadiths were recorded centuries after the Prophet Muhammed passed, so it's difficult to tell whether any of them were authentic to begin with. There's also no evidence that the Prophet punished those who were in same-gender relationships, regardless of what the hadiths say about how he felt about them.
No authentic hadith will claim that LGBT+ people (or people who engage in gay sexual relations) should be put to death.
Multiple hadiths bring up mukhannath - gender-variant people who would most likely be considered transgender women today. No authentic hadith has condemned mukhannath for being gender-variant, and it's made clear that people who pretended to be mukhannath for immoral reasons (e.g. to sneak into the women's quarters) are the only ones with a problem.
Sahih al-Bukhari 4324 explains that a mukhannath named Hit, a friend of the Prophet Muhammed's wife Aisha, was allowed into the women's quarters without the women needing to veil themselves around Hit. It was only required that the women veil around Hit when it was discovered that Hit had violated the privacy of the women by describing their bodies to others.
1-4. Pray for Allah's forgiveness
While you have not committed any sins by being LGBT+, some Muslims may find it difficult to accept this or may want to apologize to Allah for denying their true selves. Apologize to Allah and ask Him to give you the strength to accept yourself, if you need to. Not everyone will feel like they need to apologize to Allah, which is okay, but if it will help you move forward in your self-acceptance, then do so.
Allah cannot make you straight or cisgender; don't wish this of Him, and don't try to become something you are not, especially by Allah's name. Allah created you the way you are, and your identity is not a mistake.
Be careful not to fall into a trap of repenting just for your identity, as feeling guilty or shameful over it will make it much harder to accept, and this can lower your self-esteem and cause depression.
1-5. Search for a safe place to express your faith.
You may no longer feel safe in your local mosque, or you may feel disconnected from the other Muslims there. Find a place where you can safely express your LGBT+ identity and your faith at the same time - even if that means you need to switch mosques, only practice Islam at home, or find community Islamic LGBT+ groups that you can have services with.
Unfortunately, LGBT-friendly mosques can be difficult to find. While organizations such as the Inclusive Mosque Initiative are attempting to build mosques that allow LGBT+ Muslims to attend without being excluded, they are not yet widespread and LGBT-friendly prayer groups and spaces are often discovered through word of mouth.
Some imams have publicly come out as gay, such as Imam Muhsin Hendricks, Imam Daayiee Abdullah, and Imam Ludovic-Mohamed Zahed (who opened Paris's first gay-friendly mosque).
1-6. Recognize that religion evolves to fit the time period.
Very few people follow any religious text exactly to the letter, especially seeing as Islam is thousands of years old. As society changes and evolves, religion evolves with it, including Islam - and many aspects of the Quran are not as strictly adhered to today as they were back when Islam was formed. It's okay to be a Muslim who doesn't conform to a homophobic or transphobic view of Islam, the same way that other aspects of Islam have evolved and changed over time.
For example, women wearing the hijab and fully covering themselves in public is required in the Quran, but some people choose to not wear the hijab, choose to show their forearms or ankles, or otherwise dress outside of traditional Islamic wear on a day-to-day basis, as long as they cover themselves when needed (e.g. during Salah or at the mosque).
Some mosques allow women to lead the prayers or have desegregated. Similarly, not everyone believes that Muslim women must behave formally towards men that they are not related to.
1-7. Remember that only Allah can truly judge what is right or wrong.
While every Muslim has their own interpretation of Islam and what they believe the Quran and its verses means, there is nobody except Allah who can judge how you follow the faith. If other Muslims try to tell you that you are wrong for being LGBT+ or that you aren't following Islam correctly because of it, remember that they are not the ones who can judge you and that everyone has the right to their own interpretation of the faith - even if others disagree.
The Quran specifically states not to judge or ridicule others, saying, "O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those that are the wrongdoers" (Quran 49:11).
Imam Daayiee Abdullah calls homophobia, and the teachings of homophobia, "the real sin".
1-8. Avoid rescinding your faith just because you're LGBT+.
Allah loves you just the way you are, and denying Him just because of your identity is the worst choice you can make. Even if you feel being LGBT+ is a sin, Allah is forgiving and merciful to those who follow Him. You do not need to - and should not - reject Him just because you're LGBT+.
People give up religions or seek gods other than Allah for many reasons. While only you can truly decide whether or not you will be a follower of Islam and of Allah, being LGBT+ does not mean you can't be Muslim and does not mean you must give up your faith.
2. Seeking Acceptance in Yourself
2-1. Seek acceptance from yourself first, rather than others.
While having the acceptance of those around you can help, you will ultimately need to accept your LGBT+ identity in yourself. You are not alone in what you feel, and you are not broken, disgusting, or unnatural; however, it's normal to need to take some time to come to terms with your identity. Just remind yourself that there isn't anything wrong with you, even if other people say there is.
Remember that being LGBT+ doesn't change you. You don't need to act flamboyant or give up your faith, career, hobbies, favorites, and so forth. You're still the same person that you were - you just have a different sexuality or gender identity than you thought.
You can be LGBT+ and still be happy.
2-2. Acknowledge how you feel.
Making it clear to yourself how you feel can help you recognize what upsets you so much about your identity and come to terms with it. Some people find it sufficient to just stop repressing their thoughts, while others may need to state it to get the thoughts out of their head. Everyone is different; just use healthy strategies to express yourself.
Try writing down how you feel or talking to yourself in a mirror when nobody else is around. Artistic expression can also be helpful - for example, painting. Just be careful to hide away papers if you write down how you feel, if you don't live in a household where you will be accepted.
Your acknowledgement doesn't need to be huge. It can just be something like, "I have romantic feelings for someone of my gender, and I don't like feeling this way" or "I am not the gender people thought I am, and I'm okay with that, but I'm worried about how others will react".
2-3. Research your identity.
Looking up your identity can help you to understand yourself better, as well as identify misconceptions about your sexuality or gender identity. Look for LGBT-friendly sources, such as GLAAD (or even other LGBT+ people's blogs!), that can help you understand yourself a little better and dispel myths you may have heard (and that you may have to refute, yourself).
Avoid websites and other sources that are transphobic and homophobic. Not only are they wrong and frequently spread misinformation, they'll likely make you feel bad about yourself.
Search for LGBT-friendly sources first, without pairing them with Islamic sources. Since many religious people (whether or not their religion is Islam) have very strong feelings about LGBT+ people that aren't necessarily positive, it's often easier to find accepting sources that aren't tied to religion, at first.
2-4. Take good care of yourself.
Practicing self-care can make the transition into accepting yourself much easier, and it will make you feel physically better, as well. While it may seem obvious to some, others may have a lot of trouble with their realization of their LGBT+ identity, and caring for yourself can make it easier to accept yourself, or at least get on the path to it.
Eat healthy and drink plenty of water. Stay away from alcohol - aside from being haraam, alcohol will also make you feel worse.
Keep clean. Bathe regularly, perform Wudu before prayers, keep your living space tidy, and keep your clothes and sheets clean. This simple act can help you to feel more refreshed.
Stick to your daily routines. Whether this refers to your daily prayers, work or school, or even just the times you eat your meals at, keep to your routines to avoid slipping out of them and feeling worse.
Try sticking reminders around the house - such as Post-It notes or alarms on your phone - if you find yourself forgetting to do these things.
2-5. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Coming to terms with your gender or sexuality can be distressing for some people, which is understandable. If you feel upset about this, take a break from thinking about your LGBT+ status and do something that you love. It can be a great reminder that you're more than just your attractions (or lack thereof) or gender identity. Take as much time as you need to become less distraught by the idea.
Volunteer.
Engage a hobby that you already enjoy, or learn a new one.
Learn something new, whether it's a subject you've wanted to look into for a while or something you thought of on a whim.
Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself (but stay away from hostile environments, such as anti-LGBT+ or anti-Muslim areas or people).
2-6. Don't scold yourself for who you find attractive or unattractive.
You didn't choose who to be attracted to, and shaming yourself won't make you straight or help you accept yourself. Instead of thinking negatively about your attractions to others, frame it positively - such as, "I have a crush on a straight person, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the feeling of a crush". There's nothing wrong with having romantic or sexual interests in someone of the same gender.
Marrying is considered Sunnah in Islam, meaning that while it's encouraged, it's not necessary. (Therefore, if you can't or don't want to marry, you are not being a bad Muslim.)
Conversion therapies for LGBT+ people have been proven to be ineffective and often psychologically scarring. Nobody can force themselves to have romantic or sexual attractions to anyone.
2-7. Present your gender in a way that makes you feel most comfortable.
While there's no "right" way to transition, presenting your gender in a way that makes you feel comfortable is important for your self-acceptance as a transgender Muslim. So long as it is safe for you to do so, express your faith in how you dress in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable.
Transgender men and nonbinary people can still wear the hijab and keep covered if it makes them feel most comfortable. However, there is the risk of being viewed as a woman by those who don't know you, or being addressed improperly while your hijab is on.
On the flip side, if you want to transition into wearing (or not wearing) a hijab, then you can do that, too. You can choose whether or not you want to cover up, or if you want to cover just some parts of you (like your legs and arms, but not your head).
If you want to cover up your head without wearing a hijab, try wearing scarves, beanies, hats, or anything else that covers you without the hijab.
2-8. Remember that others cannot tell you how to live.
Whether this means how you interpret Islam and the Quran, the fact that you're LGBT+, or even just aspects of your day-to-day life, keep in mind that the only one who can live your life is you. If someone belittles you or tells you that you "chose" to be LGBT+, it's important to remember that their views are just that - their views - and that you don't have to live by them. Nobody other than Allah has the right to determine how you've lived your life.
Your LGBT+ identity is between you and Allah. No other Muslim has the right to judge you for it.
2-9. Get help if you want to harm yourself.
Self-acceptance is difficult for a lot of people, especially those who aren't accepted by others around them or feel that Allah won't accept them as LGBT+. However, wanting to hurt yourself or commit suicide is not normal and is a sign of bigger issues. Reach out to your support system (such as friends or family) and contact emergency services in your country if you feel you're at immediate risk of committing suicide. Read through the wikiHow articles on How to Avoid Committing Suicide and How to Convince Yourself Not to Commit Suicide. Some resources are available, as well, such as:
Psychiatric treatment, such as therapy. However, this is not feasible for everyone (such as people who can't afford treatment or are under the age of majority in their country).
Phone-based suicide hotlines. They can be great resources in times of crisis, but are region-specific. The hotlines listed below are not LGBT- or Muslim-specific.
In the US, call or text 988 from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
In Canada, access the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention's website at http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/, and find a hotline in your province.
In the United Kingdom, call 116-123, the Samaritans hotline.
If you're located in another country, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has a list of crisis hotlines, and so does Befrienders Worldwide, at http://www.befrienders.org/directory.
LGBT+ youth can contact The Trevor Project over phone (1-866-488-7386) or a text- or chat-based system at their website.
The Trans Lifeline is a US- and Canada-based hotline for transgender and nonbinary people. US residents can call them at 877-565-8860, while Canadian residents can call them at 877-330-6366.
3. Searching for Acceptance in Others
3-1. Recognize that LGBT acceptance is becoming more widespread.
While some places in the world are not safe places for LGBT+ Muslims to be, many groups and countries are stepping up and challenging the anti-LGBT+ attitudes in their societies. Not everyone will accept you as LGBT+, which is normal just about anywhere, but cultural attitudes towards LGBT+ identity are changing and not everywhere nor everyone will hate you for being yourself.
The United States legalized same-gender marriage in 2015, Israel is considered to be fairly LGBT-friendly, and France no longer requires sterilization in order to change one's legal gender.
3-2. Come out
Admitting who you are to others can be a huge relief for various reasons, so if it's safe to do so and you know that others around you will accept you for doing so, consider telling them that you're LGBT+. Set aside a time when the person won't be stressed or distracted and you know you'll have time to talk, and tell them - calmly - that you're LGBT+. Letting someone you trust know who you really are can make it feel like less of a burden and can lead you towards further self-acceptance, gaining supports, and finding out who will accept you.
wikiHow has articles that may assist you in coming out, such as (but not limited to) How to Come Out, How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian, How to Come Out As Transgender, How to Come Out to Your Friends, and How to Come Out to Your Parents. More articles can be found by searching in the search bar above.
Coming out doesn't need to be eventful or dramatic - it can be something as simple as "I want you to know I'm bisexual" or "I'm actually nonbinary, not a he - could you refer to me as "they" from now on?".
If you don't know how your friends or family feel about LGBT+ people, try asking their opinion about things important to the LGBT+ community - for example, famous LGBT+ people in the media or laws regarding LGBT+ rights. Their reaction may tell you how they feel.
Unfortunately, not everyone - whether they're Muslim or otherwise - is accepting of LGBT people. This can result in you being ostracized from your family and friends. In more severe cases, you may be harmed by others or even arrested or given the death penalty, depending on where you live. Exercise caution - if coming out will almost definitely put you in harm's way, don't do it.
3-3. Search for a support group, if you need one.
Being LGBT+ is difficult even for those living in accepting environments, and unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have support from those around them. Support groups and networks exist for LGBT+ people and Muslims for various issues, and exist in many forms. They also exist for other issues you may have that tie into your LGBT+ identity in some way, such as mental health issues and addiction.
3-4. Find friends who accept you for who you are.
While self-acceptance is important, having people around you who accept you is important as well - and it can be great to have friends who you can relate to about the highs and lows of life. Seek out friendships that make you feel unconditionally accepted and like you don't need to hide.
Some people are able to keep their old friendships after coming out; it's often dependent on whether their friends accept LGBT+ people.
If you feel afraid, dejected, put down, or belittled when around your friends, they're not real friends.
In unsafe areas, you may have to remain closeted, but it's still important to seek out people who don't believe that being LGBT+ is wrong for your own mental health.
Don't limit yourself. If you only look for LGBT+ Muslim friends, you might struggle to find people, especially in areas nearby (and many people are also not open about their LGBT+ status). Instead, focus on finding friends who accept you and care about you as a whole, regardless of their beliefs or identity.
3-5. Look for groups meant for LGBT+ Muslims.
While you don't need to have only LGBT+ Muslim friends (especially since they can be difficult to find), it can feel lonely to not have any other friends who are LGBT+ and Muslim as well. Seeking out social groups for LGBT+ Muslims can remind you that you aren't alone in the struggles that you face, and open you up to finding new friends.
The LGBT Muslim Retreat is an annual US-based event for LGBT+ Muslims to attend.
Social media sites often have groups for Muslims to join, and may have some LGBT-friendly ones.
Inclusive LGBT-friendly mosques (and youth groups, for LGBT+ teens) can offer opportunities, but can be difficult to find. However, some mosques are inclusive and even offer people the ability to join the sessions via Skype or Zoom if they're unable to attend in person (such as Juma Circle and Masjid al-Rabia).
3-6. Seek out healthy romantic relationships, if you want them.
Not everyone wants romantic relationships - some people decide to take breaks from romantic relationships, and aromantic people do fall under the LGBT+ umbrella. However, you aren't prevented from having a partner or from marrying someone of the same gender as you; you're allowed to look for a romantic partner. As long as you're in a romantic relationship with someone who respects you and treats you as an equal, and supports your religion and your endeavors in life, the gender of your partner doesn't matter.
"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." (Quran 30:21)
You deserve a healthy relationship as much as any non-LGBT+ person does. If you recognize signs of abuse from your partner, you do not need to put up with it and are allowed by the Quran to separate from your partner.
Some LGBT+ Muslims are already in heterosexual marriages. While divorce is extremely frowned upon, Allah permits it when needed; if it's in your better interest to divorce for the sake of the happiness of both of you, then you should consider divorcing. It is not a good idea to have an affair with another LGBT+ person; not only are affairs considered wrong by most people regardless of religion, it's also extremely emotionally damaging to everyone involved.
3-7. Be prepared to face bigotry or misunderstanding.
Despite LGBT+ acceptance gaining momentum, not everyone is accepting of either LGBT+ people or Muslims, and even the most accepting areas will have some people who won't understand you. It can often be upsetting, and justifiably so; just remember that homophobia and transphobia often stems from a lack of knowledge about the subject. Don't lash out at them; the Quran encourages words of peace rather than words of anger, and lashing out will make the person's negative reactions look justified.
You may need to explain to people that Muslims can be LGBT+. For example, you can say, "Yes, I'm transgender and Muslim. My gender and my religious views don't affect each other".
If other Muslims tell you that you aren't a true follower of Islam because you're LGBT+, you may wish to script a response such as, "Actually, the Prophet Lut was condemning the cruelties occurring in Sodom, and he condemned rape rather than homosexuality. It wouldn't make sense for Lut's wife to be punished if he was upset about the men of Sodom being gay".
Some people may escalate to violence and physically attack you - whether for your identity or for your religion. While justification of self-defense is controversial in Islam, many countries have laws protecting those who attacked another in self-defense if you can prove you were acting in self-defense, rather than preemptively.
3-8. Remember that there will be others who will accept you.
At times, it may feel like the whole world is against you and that nobody will accept you for who you are. However, you are not alone in what you're going through, and you will find people who will accept you - LGBT+, Muslim, and all - and support you through your walks of life. You aren't alone, and you can be loved for who you are, romantically or otherwise. You can get through this - and Allah will be alongside you the whole way!
Tips
Stay away from people and websites that claim that being LGBT+ is a sin, and surround yourself with people who accept you and make you feel good about yourself.
Social media sites can be a great way of connecting with other LGBT+ Muslims.
Beliefs vary even among LGBT+ Muslims. Some Muslims believe that Allah made them LGBT+. Others believe that being LGBT+ is part of Allah's plan for one's life, and that Allah knows best, even if the path He set is confusing. There are thousands of ways to be LGBT+, and thousands of ways to be Muslim. None of them are inherently wrong.
Warnings
Several Islamic-based countries have outlawed being LGBT+. If you are in one of these countries, you may be arrested or sentenced to death for being LGBT+. Consider your choices wisely.
Avoid communicating aggressively with those who tell you that being LGBT+ is "wrong"; be peaceful. Being aggressive is not only frowned upon by Allah, but it's extremely likely to make others view you negatively and reinforce negative stereotypes about LGBT+ people and Muslims.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Acceptance in Islam\\n1-1. Understand that the Quran does not necessarily condemn homosexuality.\\nHomophobia exists in any religion, and sometimes, people will grasp at straws just to prove that they are \\\"right\\\". However, being gay or bisexual is actually not explicitly condemned in the Quran, contrary to what many Islamic schools of thought believe. There are many interpretations of the Quran, but there's no chapter or verse that directly says homosexuality is an offense.\\nThe verse often quoted to condemn being gay in Islam, the story of the Prophet Lut, is frequently misinterpreted. It's heavily implied in the text that the sexual acts being condemned were rape rather than just same-gender relationships, and that the text overall was condemning greed and inhospitality.\\nThe words \\\"homosexual\\\" and \\\"homosexuality\\\" are never explicitly used in the Quran, and lesbian or bisexual women are not mentioned. Furthermore, the Quran even mentions \\\"men who are not in need of women\\\" (which can be interpreted as men who are gay or asexual) in Verse 24:31-24:33, and these men are not condemned anywhere.\\nThe Quran celebrates human diversity in many verses, and never specifically says that men must marry women, or vice versa.\\nVarious sources confirm that LGBT+ people existed at various times in Islamic history.\\n1-2. Know that gender identity is not addressed in the Quran.\\nSome aspects of assigned sex are addressed in the Quran; an example is Verse 42:49-42:50 (\\\"[... Allah] creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males; or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He will barren.\\\"), which can be interpreted as referring to intersex or transgender people. However, even this is not certain and is frequently debated! The Quran does not explicitly address people by gender - rather, it addresses them by sex. You will find gender identity being addressed more frequently in hadiths (some of which may not be authentic) than in the Quran.\\nGender diversity is normal in some countries where Islam is a common religion, such as Indonesia, where five genders are recognized.\\nTransgender and nonbinary people don't \\\"change\\\" their gender - their gender already doesn't match their sex. It's not a choice.\\nMost Islamic scholars believe that cosmetic surgeries are acceptable when it's to correct a flaw in the body. This gives transgender and nonbinary people a way to receive gender-confirming surgeries they might wish to have, since it corrects flaws in their bodies.\\n1-3. Look for the authenticity of a hadith before believing it.\\nSome will use hadiths to condemn LGBT+ people, but hadiths are considered secondary to the Quran and are also heavily misinterpreted - sometimes being outright false. There's no easy way of determining a hadith's authenticity by yourself, but if the hadith is not in an existing, trusted collection, then steer clear of it. (Even trusted hadith collections can be contradictory, so be cautious with what you believe - if you choose to believe it at all).\\nKeep in mind that hadiths were recorded centuries after the Prophet Muhammed passed, so it's difficult to tell whether any of them were authentic to begin with. There's also no evidence that the Prophet punished those who were in same-gender relationships, regardless of what the hadiths say about how he felt about them.\\nNo authentic hadith will claim that LGBT+ people (or people who engage in gay sexual relations) should be put to death.\\nMultiple hadiths bring up mukhannath - gender-variant people who would most likely be considered transgender women today. No authentic hadith has condemned mukhannath for being gender-variant, and it's made clear that people who pretended to be mukhannath for immoral reasons (e.g. to sneak into the women's quarters) are the only ones with a problem.\\nSahih al-Bukhari 4324 explains that a mukhannath named Hit, a friend of the Prophet Muhammed's wife Aisha, was allowed into the women's quarters without the women needing to veil themselves around Hit. It was only required that the women veil around Hit when it was discovered that Hit had violated the privacy of the women by describing their bodies to others.\\n1-4. Pray for Allah's forgiveness\\nWhile you have not committed any sins by being LGBT+, some Muslims may find it difficult to accept this or may want to apologize to Allah for denying their true selves. Apologize to Allah and ask Him to give you the strength to accept yourself, if you need to. Not everyone will feel like they need to apologize to Allah, which is okay, but if it will help you move forward in your self-acceptance, then do so.\\nAllah cannot make you straight or cisgender; don't wish this of Him, and don't try to become something you are not, especially by Allah's name. Allah created you the way you are, and your identity is not a mistake.\\nBe careful not to fall into a trap of repenting just for your identity, as feeling guilty or shameful over it will make it much harder to accept, and this can lower your self-esteem and cause depression.\\n1-5. Search for a safe place to express your faith.\\nYou may no longer feel safe in your local mosque, or you may feel disconnected from the other Muslims there. Find a place where you can safely express your LGBT+ identity and your faith at the same time - even if that means you need to switch mosques, only practice Islam at home, or find community Islamic LGBT+ groups that you can have services with.\\nUnfortunately, LGBT-friendly mosques can be difficult to find. While organizations such as the Inclusive Mosque Initiative are attempting to build mosques that allow LGBT+ Muslims to attend without being excluded, they are not yet widespread and LGBT-friendly prayer groups and spaces are often discovered through word of mouth.\\nSome imams have publicly come out as gay, such as Imam Muhsin Hendricks, Imam Daayiee Abdullah, and Imam Ludovic-Mohamed Zahed (who opened Paris's first gay-friendly mosque).\\n1-6. Recognize that religion evolves to fit the time period.\\nVery few people follow any religious text exactly to the letter, especially seeing as Islam is thousands of years old. As society changes and evolves, religion evolves with it, including Islam - and many aspects of the Quran are not as strictly adhered to today as they were back when Islam was formed. It's okay to be a Muslim who doesn't conform to a homophobic or transphobic view of Islam, the same way that other aspects of Islam have evolved and changed over time.\\nFor example, women wearing the hijab and fully covering themselves in public is required in the Quran, but some people choose to not wear the hijab, choose to show their forearms or ankles, or otherwise dress outside of traditional Islamic wear on a day-to-day basis, as long as they cover themselves when needed (e.g. during Salah or at the mosque).\\nSome mosques allow women to lead the prayers or have desegregated. Similarly, not everyone believes that Muslim women must behave formally towards men that they are not related to.\\n1-7. Remember that only Allah can truly judge what is right or wrong.\\nWhile every Muslim has their own interpretation of Islam and what they believe the Quran and its verses means, there is nobody except Allah who can judge how you follow the faith. If other Muslims try to tell you that you are wrong for being LGBT+ or that you aren't following Islam correctly because of it, remember that they are not the ones who can judge you and that everyone has the right to their own interpretation of the faith - even if others disagree.\\nThe Quran specifically states not to judge or ridicule others, saying, \\\"O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those that are the wrongdoers\\\" (Quran 49:11).\\nImam Daayiee Abdullah calls homophobia, and the teachings of homophobia, \\\"the real sin\\\".\\n1-8. Avoid rescinding your faith just because you're LGBT+.\\nAllah loves you just the way you are, and denying Him just because of your identity is the worst choice you can make. Even if you feel being LGBT+ is a sin, Allah is forgiving and merciful to those who follow Him. You do not need to - and should not - reject Him just because you're LGBT+.\\nPeople give up religions or seek gods other than Allah for many reasons. While only you can truly decide whether or not you will be a follower of Islam and of Allah, being LGBT+ does not mean you can't be Muslim and does not mean you must give up your faith.\\n2. Seeking Acceptance in Yourself\\n2-1. Seek acceptance from yourself first, rather than others.\\nWhile having the acceptance of those around you can help, you will ultimately need to accept your LGBT+ identity in yourself. You are not alone in what you feel, and you are not broken, disgusting, or unnatural; however, it's normal to need to take some time to come to terms with your identity. Just remind yourself that there isn't anything wrong with you, even if other people say there is.\\nRemember that being LGBT+ doesn't change you. You don't need to act flamboyant or give up your faith, career, hobbies, favorites, and so forth. You're still the same person that you were - you just have a different sexuality or gender identity than you thought.\\nYou can be LGBT+ and still be happy.\\n2-2. Acknowledge how you feel.\\nMaking it clear to yourself how you feel can help you recognize what upsets you so much about your identity and come to terms with it. Some people find it sufficient to just stop repressing their thoughts, while others may need to state it to get the thoughts out of their head. Everyone is different; just use healthy strategies to express yourself.\\nTry writing down how you feel or talking to yourself in a mirror when nobody else is around. Artistic expression can also be helpful - for example, painting. Just be careful to hide away papers if you write down how you feel, if you don't live in a household where you will be accepted.\\nYour acknowledgement doesn't need to be huge. It can just be something like, \\\"I have romantic feelings for someone of my gender, and I don't like feeling this way\\\" or \\\"I am not the gender people thought I am, and I'm okay with that, but I'm worried about how others will react\\\".\\n2-3. Research your identity.\\nLooking up your identity can help you to understand yourself better, as well as identify misconceptions about your sexuality or gender identity. Look for LGBT-friendly sources, such as GLAAD (or even other LGBT+ people's blogs!), that can help you understand yourself a little better and dispel myths you may have heard (and that you may have to refute, yourself).\\nAvoid websites and other sources that are transphobic and homophobic. Not only are they wrong and frequently spread misinformation, they'll likely make you feel bad about yourself.\\nSearch for LGBT-friendly sources first, without pairing them with Islamic sources. Since many religious people (whether or not their religion is Islam) have very strong feelings about LGBT+ people that aren't necessarily positive, it's often easier to find accepting sources that aren't tied to religion, at first.\\n2-4. Take good care of yourself.\\nPracticing self-care can make the transition into accepting yourself much easier, and it will make you feel physically better, as well. While it may seem obvious to some, others may have a lot of trouble with their realization of their LGBT+ identity, and caring for yourself can make it easier to accept yourself, or at least get on the path to it.\\nEat healthy and drink plenty of water. Stay away from alcohol - aside from being haraam, alcohol will also make you feel worse.\\nKeep clean. Bathe regularly, perform Wudu before prayers, keep your living space tidy, and keep your clothes and sheets clean. This simple act can help you to feel more refreshed.\\nStick to your daily routines. Whether this refers to your daily prayers, work or school, or even just the times you eat your meals at, keep to your routines to avoid slipping out of them and feeling worse.\\nTry sticking reminders around the house - such as Post-It notes or alarms on your phone - if you find yourself forgetting to do these things.\\n2-5. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself.\\nComing to terms with your gender or sexuality can be distressing for some people, which is understandable. If you feel upset about this, take a break from thinking about your LGBT+ status and do something that you love. It can be a great reminder that you're more than just your attractions (or lack thereof) or gender identity. Take as much time as you need to become less distraught by the idea.\\n\\nVolunteer.\\nEngage a hobby that you already enjoy, or learn a new one.\\nLearn something new, whether it's a subject you've wanted to look into for a while or something you thought of on a whim.\\nSpend time with people who make you feel good about yourself (but stay away from hostile environments, such as anti-LGBT+ or anti-Muslim areas or people).\\n2-6. Don't scold yourself for who you find attractive or unattractive.\\nYou didn't choose who to be attracted to, and shaming yourself won't make you straight or help you accept yourself. Instead of thinking negatively about your attractions to others, frame it positively - such as, \\\"I have a crush on a straight person, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the feeling of a crush\\\". There's nothing wrong with having romantic or sexual interests in someone of the same gender.\\nMarrying is considered Sunnah in Islam, meaning that while it's encouraged, it's not necessary. (Therefore, if you can't or don't want to marry, you are not being a bad Muslim.)\\nConversion therapies for LGBT+ people have been proven to be ineffective and often psychologically scarring. Nobody can force themselves to have romantic or sexual attractions to anyone.\\n2-7. Present your gender in a way that makes you feel most comfortable.\\nWhile there's no \\\"right\\\" way to transition, presenting your gender in a way that makes you feel comfortable is important for your self-acceptance as a transgender Muslim. So long as it is safe for you to do so, express your faith in how you dress in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable.\\nTransgender men and nonbinary people can still wear the hijab and keep covered if it makes them feel most comfortable. However, there is the risk of being viewed as a woman by those who don't know you, or being addressed improperly while your hijab is on.\\nOn the flip side, if you want to transition into wearing (or not wearing) a hijab, then you can do that, too. You can choose whether or not you want to cover up, or if you want to cover just some parts of you (like your legs and arms, but not your head).\\nIf you want to cover up your head without wearing a hijab, try wearing scarves, beanies, hats, or anything else that covers you without the hijab.\\n2-8. Remember that others cannot tell you how to live.\\nWhether this means how you interpret Islam and the Quran, the fact that you're LGBT+, or even just aspects of your day-to-day life, keep in mind that the only one who can live your life is you. If someone belittles you or tells you that you \\\"chose\\\" to be LGBT+, it's important to remember that their views are just that - their views - and that you don't have to live by them. Nobody other than Allah has the right to determine how you've lived your life.\\nYour LGBT+ identity is between you and Allah. No other Muslim has the right to judge you for it.\\n2-9. Get help if you want to harm yourself.\\nSelf-acceptance is difficult for a lot of people, especially those who aren't accepted by others around them or feel that Allah won't accept them as LGBT+. However, wanting to hurt yourself or commit suicide is not normal and is a sign of bigger issues. Reach out to your support system (such as friends or family) and contact emergency services in your country if you feel you're at immediate risk of committing suicide. Read through the wikiHow articles on How to Avoid Committing Suicide and How to Convince Yourself Not to Commit Suicide. Some resources are available, as well, such as:\\nPsychiatric treatment, such as therapy. However, this is not feasible for everyone (such as people who can't afford treatment or are under the age of majority in their country).\\nPhone-based suicide hotlines. They can be great resources in times of crisis, but are region-specific. The hotlines listed below are not LGBT- or Muslim-specific.\\nIn the US, call or text 988 from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. \\nIn Canada, access the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention's website at http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/, and find a hotline in your province.\\nIn the United Kingdom, call 116-123, the Samaritans hotline.\\nIf you're located in another country, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has a list of crisis hotlines, and so does Befrienders Worldwide, at http://www.befrienders.org/directory.\\n\\nLGBT+ youth can contact The Trevor Project over phone (1-866-488-7386) or a text- or chat-based system at their website.\\nThe Trans Lifeline is a US- and Canada-based hotline for transgender and nonbinary people. US residents can call them at 877-565-8860, while Canadian residents can call them at 877-330-6366.\\n3. Searching for Acceptance in Others\\n3-1. Recognize that LGBT acceptance is becoming more widespread.\\nWhile some places in the world are not safe places for LGBT+ Muslims to be, many groups and countries are stepping up and challenging the anti-LGBT+ attitudes in their societies. Not everyone will accept you as LGBT+, which is normal just about anywhere, but cultural attitudes towards LGBT+ identity are changing and not everywhere nor everyone will hate you for being yourself.\\nThe United States legalized same-gender marriage in 2015, Israel is considered to be fairly LGBT-friendly, and France no longer requires sterilization in order to change one's legal gender.\\n3-2. Come out\\nAdmitting who you are to others can be a huge relief for various reasons, so if it's safe to do so and you know that others around you will accept you for doing so, consider telling them that you're LGBT+. Set aside a time when the person won't be stressed or distracted and you know you'll have time to talk, and tell them - calmly - that you're LGBT+. Letting someone you trust know who you really are can make it feel like less of a burden and can lead you towards further self-acceptance, gaining supports, and finding out who will accept you.\\nwikiHow has articles that may assist you in coming out, such as (but not limited to) How to Come Out, How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian, How to Come Out As Transgender, How to Come Out to Your Friends, and How to Come Out to Your Parents. More articles can be found by searching in the search bar above.\\nComing out doesn't need to be eventful or dramatic - it can be something as simple as \\\"I want you to know I'm bisexual\\\" or \\\"I'm actually nonbinary, not a he - could you refer to me as \\\"they\\\" from now on?\\\".\\nIf you don't know how your friends or family feel about LGBT+ people, try asking their opinion about things important to the LGBT+ community - for example, famous LGBT+ people in the media or laws regarding LGBT+ rights. Their reaction may tell you how they feel.\\nUnfortunately, not everyone - whether they're Muslim or otherwise - is accepting of LGBT people. This can result in you being ostracized from your family and friends. In more severe cases, you may be harmed by others or even arrested or given the death penalty, depending on where you live. Exercise caution - if coming out will almost definitely put you in harm's way, don't do it.\\n3-3. Search for a support group, if you need one.\\nBeing LGBT+ is difficult even for those living in accepting environments, and unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have support from those around them. Support groups and networks exist for LGBT+ people and Muslims for various issues, and exist in many forms. They also exist for other issues you may have that tie into your LGBT+ identity in some way, such as mental health issues and addiction.\\n3-4. Find friends who accept you for who you are.\\nWhile self-acceptance is important, having people around you who accept you is important as well - and it can be great to have friends who you can relate to about the highs and lows of life. Seek out friendships that make you feel unconditionally accepted and like you don't need to hide.\\nSome people are able to keep their old friendships after coming out; it's often dependent on whether their friends accept LGBT+ people.\\nIf you feel afraid, dejected, put down, or belittled when around your friends, they're not real friends.\\nIn unsafe areas, you may have to remain closeted, but it's still important to seek out people who don't believe that being LGBT+ is wrong for your own mental health.\\nDon't limit yourself. If you only look for LGBT+ Muslim friends, you might struggle to find people, especially in areas nearby (and many people are also not open about their LGBT+ status). Instead, focus on finding friends who accept you and care about you as a whole, regardless of their beliefs or identity.\\n3-5. Look for groups meant for LGBT+ Muslims.\\nWhile you don't need to have only LGBT+ Muslim friends (especially since they can be difficult to find), it can feel lonely to not have any other friends who are LGBT+ and Muslim as well. Seeking out social groups for LGBT+ Muslims can remind you that you aren't alone in the struggles that you face, and open you up to finding new friends.\\nThe LGBT Muslim Retreat is an annual US-based event for LGBT+ Muslims to attend.\\nSocial media sites often have groups for Muslims to join, and may have some LGBT-friendly ones.\\nInclusive LGBT-friendly mosques (and youth groups, for LGBT+ teens) can offer opportunities, but can be difficult to find. However, some mosques are inclusive and even offer people the ability to join the sessions via Skype or Zoom if they're unable to attend in person (such as Juma Circle and Masjid al-Rabia).\\n3-6. Seek out healthy romantic relationships, if you want them.\\nNot everyone wants romantic relationships - some people decide to take breaks from romantic relationships, and aromantic people do fall under the LGBT+ umbrella. However, you aren't prevented from having a partner or from marrying someone of the same gender as you; you're allowed to look for a romantic partner. As long as you're in a romantic relationship with someone who respects you and treats you as an equal, and supports your religion and your endeavors in life, the gender of your partner doesn't matter.\\n\\\"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.\\\" (Quran 30:21)\\nYou deserve a healthy relationship as much as any non-LGBT+ person does. If you recognize signs of abuse from your partner, you do not need to put up with it and are allowed by the Quran to separate from your partner.\\nSome LGBT+ Muslims are already in heterosexual marriages. While divorce is extremely frowned upon, Allah permits it when needed; if it's in your better interest to divorce for the sake of the happiness of both of you, then you should consider divorcing. It is not a good idea to have an affair with another LGBT+ person; not only are affairs considered wrong by most people regardless of religion, it's also extremely emotionally damaging to everyone involved.\\n3-7. Be prepared to face bigotry or misunderstanding.\\nDespite LGBT+ acceptance gaining momentum, not everyone is accepting of either LGBT+ people or Muslims, and even the most accepting areas will have some people who won't understand you. It can often be upsetting, and justifiably so; just remember that homophobia and transphobia often stems from a lack of knowledge about the subject. Don't lash out at them; the Quran encourages words of peace rather than words of anger, and lashing out will make the person's negative reactions look justified.\\nYou may need to explain to people that Muslims can be LGBT+. For example, you can say, \\\"Yes, I'm transgender and Muslim. My gender and my religious views don't affect each other\\\".\\nIf other Muslims tell you that you aren't a true follower of Islam because you're LGBT+, you may wish to script a response such as, \\\"Actually, the Prophet Lut was condemning the cruelties occurring in Sodom, and he condemned rape rather than homosexuality. It wouldn't make sense for Lut's wife to be punished if he was upset about the men of Sodom being gay\\\".\\nSome people may escalate to violence and physically attack you - whether for your identity or for your religion. While justification of self-defense is controversial in Islam, many countries have laws protecting those who attacked another in self-defense if you can prove you were acting in self-defense, rather than preemptively.\\n3-8. Remember that there will be others who will accept you.\\nAt times, it may feel like the whole world is against you and that nobody will accept you for who you are. However, you are not alone in what you're going through, and you will find people who will accept you - LGBT+, Muslim, and all - and support you through your walks of life. You aren't alone, and you can be loved for who you are, romantically or otherwise. You can get through this - and Allah will be alongside you the whole way!\\nTips\\nStay away from people and websites that claim that being LGBT+ is a sin, and surround yourself with people who accept you and make you feel good about yourself.\\nSocial media sites can be a great way of connecting with other LGBT+ Muslims.\\nBeliefs vary even among LGBT+ Muslims. Some Muslims believe that Allah made them LGBT+. Others believe that being LGBT+ is part of Allah's plan for one's life, and that Allah knows best, even if the path He set is confusing. There are thousands of ways to be LGBT+, and thousands of ways to be Muslim. None of them are inherently wrong.\\nWarnings\\nSeveral Islamic-based countries have outlawed being LGBT+. If you are in one of these countries, you may be arrested or sentenced to death for being LGBT+. Consider your choices wisely.\\nAvoid communicating aggressively with those who tell you that being LGBT+ is \\\"wrong\\\"; be peaceful. Being aggressive is not only frowned upon by Allah, but it's extremely likely to make others view you negatively and reinforce negative stereotypes about LGBT+ people and Muslims.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or any other sexual orientation or gender identity is difficult enough on its own, but being Muslim as well can cause one to struggle with reconciling their identity with Islam and Allah. However, you are not alone - more and more people in the world are coming out as LGBT+, and struggle to reconcile their faith in Allah with their identity. While the journey to self-acceptance can be a long one, it's possible and well worth the effort to become happy with who you are.\\n\\nPlease note that this article is primarily aimed at an audience living in countries where LGBT+ identity is not outlawed. If you live in a country where being LGBT+ is illegal, not all of this may be helpful to you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Acceptance in Islam\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand that the Quran does not necessarily condemn homosexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Homophobia exists in any religion, and sometimes, people will grasp at straws just to prove that they are \\\"right\\\". However, being gay or bisexual is actually not explicitly condemned in the Quran, contrary to what many Islamic schools of thought believe. There are many interpretations of the Quran, but there's no chapter or verse that directly says homosexuality is an offense.\\nThe verse often quoted to condemn being gay in Islam, the story of the Prophet Lut, is frequently misinterpreted. It's heavily implied in the text that the sexual acts being condemned were rape rather than just same-gender relationships, and that the text overall was condemning greed and inhospitality.\\nThe words \\\"homosexual\\\" and \\\"homosexuality\\\" are never explicitly used in the Quran, and lesbian or bisexual women are not mentioned. Furthermore, the Quran even mentions \\\"men who are not in need of women\\\" (which can be interpreted as men who are gay or asexual) in Verse 24:31-24:33, and these men are not condemned anywhere.\\nThe Quran celebrates human diversity in many verses, and never specifically says that men must marry women, or vice versa.\\nVarious sources confirm that LGBT+ people existed at various times in Islamic history.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know that gender identity is not addressed in the Quran.\", \"描述\": \"Some aspects of assigned sex are addressed in the Quran; an example is Verse 42:49-42:50 (\\\"[... Allah] creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males; or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He will barren.\\\"), which can be interpreted as referring to intersex or transgender people. However, even this is not certain and is frequently debated! The Quran does not explicitly address people by gender - rather, it addresses them by sex. You will find gender identity being addressed more frequently in hadiths (some of which may not be authentic) than in the Quran.\\nGender diversity is normal in some countries where Islam is a common religion, such as Indonesia, where five genders are recognized.\\nTransgender and nonbinary people don't \\\"change\\\" their gender - their gender already doesn't match their sex. It's not a choice.\\nMost Islamic scholars believe that cosmetic surgeries are acceptable when it's to correct a flaw in the body. This gives transgender and nonbinary people a way to receive gender-confirming surgeries they might wish to have, since it corrects flaws in their bodies.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for the authenticity of a hadith before believing it.\", \"描述\": \"Some will use hadiths to condemn LGBT+ people, but hadiths are considered secondary to the Quran and are also heavily misinterpreted - sometimes being outright false. There's no easy way of determining a hadith's authenticity by yourself, but if the hadith is not in an existing, trusted collection, then steer clear of it. (Even trusted hadith collections can be contradictory, so be cautious with what you believe - if you choose to believe it at all).\\nKeep in mind that hadiths were recorded centuries after the Prophet Muhammed passed, so it's difficult to tell whether any of them were authentic to begin with. There's also no evidence that the Prophet punished those who were in same-gender relationships, regardless of what the hadiths say about how he felt about them.\\nNo authentic hadith will claim that LGBT+ people (or people who engage in gay sexual relations) should be put to death.\\nMultiple hadiths bring up mukhannath - gender-variant people who would most likely be considered transgender women today. No authentic hadith has condemned mukhannath for being gender-variant, and it's made clear that people who pretended to be mukhannath for immoral reasons (e.g. to sneak into the women's quarters) are the only ones with a problem.\\nSahih al-Bukhari 4324 explains that a mukhannath named Hit, a friend of the Prophet Muhammed's wife Aisha, was allowed into the women's quarters without the women needing to veil themselves around Hit. It was only required that the women veil around Hit when it was discovered that Hit had violated the privacy of the women by describing their bodies to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pray for Allah's forgiveness\", \"描述\": \"While you have not committed any sins by being LGBT+, some Muslims may find it difficult to accept this or may want to apologize to Allah for denying their true selves. Apologize to Allah and ask Him to give you the strength to accept yourself, if you need to. Not everyone will feel like they need to apologize to Allah, which is okay, but if it will help you move forward in your self-acceptance, then do so.\\nAllah cannot make you straight or cisgender; don't wish this of Him, and don't try to become something you are not, especially by Allah's name. Allah created you the way you are, and your identity is not a mistake.\\nBe careful not to fall into a trap of repenting just for your identity, as feeling guilty or shameful over it will make it much harder to accept, and this can lower your self-esteem and cause depression.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Search for a safe place to express your faith.\", \"描述\": \"You may no longer feel safe in your local mosque, or you may feel disconnected from the other Muslims there. Find a place where you can safely express your LGBT+ identity and your faith at the same time - even if that means you need to switch mosques, only practice Islam at home, or find community Islamic LGBT+ groups that you can have services with.\\nUnfortunately, LGBT-friendly mosques can be difficult to find. While organizations such as the Inclusive Mosque Initiative are attempting to build mosques that allow LGBT+ Muslims to attend without being excluded, they are not yet widespread and LGBT-friendly prayer groups and spaces are often discovered through word of mouth.\\nSome imams have publicly come out as gay, such as Imam Muhsin Hendricks, Imam Daayiee Abdullah, and Imam Ludovic-Mohamed Zahed (who opened Paris's first gay-friendly mosque).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Recognize that religion evolves to fit the time period.\", \"描述\": \"Very few people follow any religious text exactly to the letter, especially seeing as Islam is thousands of years old. As society changes and evolves, religion evolves with it, including Islam - and many aspects of the Quran are not as strictly adhered to today as they were back when Islam was formed. It's okay to be a Muslim who doesn't conform to a homophobic or transphobic view of Islam, the same way that other aspects of Islam have evolved and changed over time.\\nFor example, women wearing the hijab and fully covering themselves in public is required in the Quran, but some people choose to not wear the hijab, choose to show their forearms or ankles, or otherwise dress outside of traditional Islamic wear on a day-to-day basis, as long as they cover themselves when needed (e.g. during Salah or at the mosque).\\nSome mosques allow women to lead the prayers or have desegregated. Similarly, not everyone believes that Muslim women must behave formally towards men that they are not related to.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Remember that only Allah can truly judge what is right or wrong.\", \"描述\": \"While every Muslim has their own interpretation of Islam and what they believe the Quran and its verses means, there is nobody except Allah who can judge how you follow the faith. If other Muslims try to tell you that you are wrong for being LGBT+ or that you aren't following Islam correctly because of it, remember that they are not the ones who can judge you and that everyone has the right to their own interpretation of the faith - even if others disagree.\\nThe Quran specifically states not to judge or ridicule others, saying, \\\"O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those that are the wrongdoers\\\" (Quran 49:11).\\nImam Daayiee Abdullah calls homophobia, and the teachings of homophobia, \\\"the real sin\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid rescinding your faith just because you're LGBT+.\", \"描述\": \"Allah loves you just the way you are, and denying Him just because of your identity is the worst choice you can make. Even if you feel being LGBT+ is a sin, Allah is forgiving and merciful to those who follow Him. You do not need to - and should not - reject Him just because you're LGBT+.\\nPeople give up religions or seek gods other than Allah for many reasons. While only you can truly decide whether or not you will be a follower of Islam and of Allah, being LGBT+ does not mean you can't be Muslim and does not mean you must give up your faith.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seeking Acceptance in Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Seek acceptance from yourself first, rather than others.\", \"描述\": \"While having the acceptance of those around you can help, you will ultimately need to accept your LGBT+ identity in yourself. You are not alone in what you feel, and you are not broken, disgusting, or unnatural; however, it's normal to need to take some time to come to terms with your identity. Just remind yourself that there isn't anything wrong with you, even if other people say there is.\\nRemember that being LGBT+ doesn't change you. You don't need to act flamboyant or give up your faith, career, hobbies, favorites, and so forth. You're still the same person that you were - you just have a different sexuality or gender identity than you thought.\\nYou can be LGBT+ and still be happy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge how you feel.\", \"描述\": \"Making it clear to yourself how you feel can help you recognize what upsets you so much about your identity and come to terms with it. Some people find it sufficient to just stop repressing their thoughts, while others may need to state it to get the thoughts out of their head. Everyone is different; just use healthy strategies to express yourself.\\nTry writing down how you feel or talking to yourself in a mirror when nobody else is around. Artistic expression can also be helpful - for example, painting. Just be careful to hide away papers if you write down how you feel, if you don't live in a household where you will be accepted.\\nYour acknowledgement doesn't need to be huge. It can just be something like, \\\"I have romantic feelings for someone of my gender, and I don't like feeling this way\\\" or \\\"I am not the gender people thought I am, and I'm okay with that, but I'm worried about how others will react\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Research your identity.\", \"描述\": \"Looking up your identity can help you to understand yourself better, as well as identify misconceptions about your sexuality or gender identity. Look for LGBT-friendly sources, such as GLAAD (or even other LGBT+ people's blogs!), that can help you understand yourself a little better and dispel myths you may have heard (and that you may have to refute, yourself).\\nAvoid websites and other sources that are transphobic and homophobic. Not only are they wrong and frequently spread misinformation, they'll likely make you feel bad about yourself.\\nSearch for LGBT-friendly sources first, without pairing them with Islamic sources. Since many religious people (whether or not their religion is Islam) have very strong feelings about LGBT+ people that aren't necessarily positive, it's often easier to find accepting sources that aren't tied to religion, at first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take good care of yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Practicing self-care can make the transition into accepting yourself much easier, and it will make you feel physically better, as well. While it may seem obvious to some, others may have a lot of trouble with their realization of their LGBT+ identity, and caring for yourself can make it easier to accept yourself, or at least get on the path to it.\\nEat healthy and drink plenty of water. Stay away from alcohol - aside from being haraam, alcohol will also make you feel worse.\\nKeep clean. Bathe regularly, perform Wudu before prayers, keep your living space tidy, and keep your clothes and sheets clean. This simple act can help you to feel more refreshed.\\nStick to your daily routines. Whether this refers to your daily prayers, work or school, or even just the times you eat your meals at, keep to your routines to avoid slipping out of them and feeling worse.\\nTry sticking reminders around the house - such as Post-It notes or alarms on your phone - if you find yourself forgetting to do these things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do something that makes you feel good about yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Coming to terms with your gender or sexuality can be distressing for some people, which is understandable. If you feel upset about this, take a break from thinking about your LGBT+ status and do something that you love. It can be a great reminder that you're more than just your attractions (or lack thereof) or gender identity. Take as much time as you need to become less distraught by the idea.\\n\\nVolunteer.\\nEngage a hobby that you already enjoy, or learn a new one.\\nLearn something new, whether it's a subject you've wanted to look into for a while or something you thought of on a whim.\\nSpend time with people who make you feel good about yourself (but stay away from hostile environments, such as anti-LGBT+ or anti-Muslim areas or people).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don't scold yourself for who you find attractive or unattractive.\", \"描述\": \"You didn't choose who to be attracted to, and shaming yourself won't make you straight or help you accept yourself. Instead of thinking negatively about your attractions to others, frame it positively - such as, \\\"I have a crush on a straight person, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the feeling of a crush\\\". There's nothing wrong with having romantic or sexual interests in someone of the same gender.\\nMarrying is considered Sunnah in Islam, meaning that while it's encouraged, it's not necessary. (Therefore, if you can't or don't want to marry, you are not being a bad Muslim.)\\nConversion therapies for LGBT+ people have been proven to be ineffective and often psychologically scarring. Nobody can force themselves to have romantic or sexual attractions to anyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Present your gender in a way that makes you feel most comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"While there's no \\\"right\\\" way to transition, presenting your gender in a way that makes you feel comfortable is important for your self-acceptance as a transgender Muslim. So long as it is safe for you to do so, express your faith in how you dress in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable.\\nTransgender men and nonbinary people can still wear the hijab and keep covered if it makes them feel most comfortable. However, there is the risk of being viewed as a woman by those who don't know you, or being addressed improperly while your hijab is on.\\nOn the flip side, if you want to transition into wearing (or not wearing) a hijab, then you can do that, too. You can choose whether or not you want to cover up, or if you want to cover just some parts of you (like your legs and arms, but not your head).\\nIf you want to cover up your head without wearing a hijab, try wearing scarves, beanies, hats, or anything else that covers you without the hijab.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Remember that others cannot tell you how to live.\", \"描述\": \"Whether this means how you interpret Islam and the Quran, the fact that you're LGBT+, or even just aspects of your day-to-day life, keep in mind that the only one who can live your life is you. If someone belittles you or tells you that you \\\"chose\\\" to be LGBT+, it's important to remember that their views are just that - their views - and that you don't have to live by them. Nobody other than Allah has the right to determine how you've lived your life.\\nYour LGBT+ identity is between you and Allah. No other Muslim has the right to judge you for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Get help if you want to harm yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Self-acceptance is difficult for a lot of people, especially those who aren't accepted by others around them or feel that Allah won't accept them as LGBT+. However, wanting to hurt yourself or commit suicide is not normal and is a sign of bigger issues. Reach out to your support system (such as friends or family) and contact emergency services in your country if you feel you're at immediate risk of committing suicide. Read through the wikiHow articles on How to Avoid Committing Suicide and How to Convince Yourself Not to Commit Suicide. Some resources are available, as well, such as:\\nPsychiatric treatment, such as therapy. However, this is not feasible for everyone (such as people who can't afford treatment or are under the age of majority in their country).\\nPhone-based suicide hotlines. They can be great resources in times of crisis, but are region-specific. The hotlines listed below are not LGBT- or Muslim-specific.\\nIn the US, call or text 988 from the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. \\nIn Canada, access the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention's website at http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/, and find a hotline in your province.\\nIn the United Kingdom, call 116-123, the Samaritans hotline.\\nIf you're located in another country, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has a list of crisis hotlines, and so does Befrienders Worldwide, at http://www.befrienders.org/directory.\\n\\nLGBT+ youth can contact The Trevor Project over phone (1-866-488-7386) or a text- or chat-based system at their website.\\nThe Trans Lifeline is a US- and Canada-based hotline for transgender and nonbinary people. US residents can call them at 877-565-8860, while Canadian residents can call them at 877-330-6366.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Searching for Acceptance in Others\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Recognize that LGBT acceptance is becoming more widespread.\", \"描述\": \"While some places in the world are not safe places for LGBT+ Muslims to be, many groups and countries are stepping up and challenging the anti-LGBT+ attitudes in their societies. Not everyone will accept you as LGBT+, which is normal just about anywhere, but cultural attitudes towards LGBT+ identity are changing and not everywhere nor everyone will hate you for being yourself.\\nThe United States legalized same-gender marriage in 2015, Israel is considered to be fairly LGBT-friendly, and France no longer requires sterilization in order to change one's legal gender.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Come out\", \"描述\": \"Admitting who you are to others can be a huge relief for various reasons, so if it's safe to do so and you know that others around you will accept you for doing so, consider telling them that you're LGBT+. Set aside a time when the person won't be stressed or distracted and you know you'll have time to talk, and tell them - calmly - that you're LGBT+. Letting someone you trust know who you really are can make it feel like less of a burden and can lead you towards further self-acceptance, gaining supports, and finding out who will accept you.\\nwikiHow has articles that may assist you in coming out, such as (but not limited to) How to Come Out, How to Come Out As Gay or Lesbian, How to Come Out As Transgender, How to Come Out to Your Friends, and How to Come Out to Your Parents. More articles can be found by searching in the search bar above.\\nComing out doesn't need to be eventful or dramatic - it can be something as simple as \\\"I want you to know I'm bisexual\\\" or \\\"I'm actually nonbinary, not a he - could you refer to me as \\\"they\\\" from now on?\\\".\\nIf you don't know how your friends or family feel about LGBT+ people, try asking their opinion about things important to the LGBT+ community - for example, famous LGBT+ people in the media or laws regarding LGBT+ rights. Their reaction may tell you how they feel.\\nUnfortunately, not everyone - whether they're Muslim or otherwise - is accepting of LGBT people. This can result in you being ostracized from your family and friends. In more severe cases, you may be harmed by others or even arrested or given the death penalty, depending on where you live. Exercise caution - if coming out will almost definitely put you in harm's way, don't do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for a support group, if you need one.\", \"描述\": \"Being LGBT+ is difficult even for those living in accepting environments, and unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have support from those around them. Support groups and networks exist for LGBT+ people and Muslims for various issues, and exist in many forms. They also exist for other issues you may have that tie into your LGBT+ identity in some way, such as mental health issues and addiction.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find friends who accept you for who you are.\", \"描述\": \"While self-acceptance is important, having people around you who accept you is important as well - and it can be great to have friends who you can relate to about the highs and lows of life. Seek out friendships that make you feel unconditionally accepted and like you don't need to hide.\\nSome people are able to keep their old friendships after coming out; it's often dependent on whether their friends accept LGBT+ people.\\nIf you feel afraid, dejected, put down, or belittled when around your friends, they're not real friends.\\nIn unsafe areas, you may have to remain closeted, but it's still important to seek out people who don't believe that being LGBT+ is wrong for your own mental health.\\nDon't limit yourself. If you only look for LGBT+ Muslim friends, you might struggle to find people, especially in areas nearby (and many people are also not open about their LGBT+ status). Instead, focus on finding friends who accept you and care about you as a whole, regardless of their beliefs or identity.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look for groups meant for LGBT+ Muslims.\", \"描述\": \"While you don't need to have only LGBT+ Muslim friends (especially since they can be difficult to find), it can feel lonely to not have any other friends who are LGBT+ and Muslim as well. Seeking out social groups for LGBT+ Muslims can remind you that you aren't alone in the struggles that you face, and open you up to finding new friends.\\nThe LGBT Muslim Retreat is an annual US-based event for LGBT+ Muslims to attend.\\nSocial media sites often have groups for Muslims to join, and may have some LGBT-friendly ones.\\nInclusive LGBT-friendly mosques (and youth groups, for LGBT+ teens) can offer opportunities, but can be difficult to find. However, some mosques are inclusive and even offer people the ability to join the sessions via Skype or Zoom if they're unable to attend in person (such as Juma Circle and Masjid al-Rabia).\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Seek out healthy romantic relationships, if you want them.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone wants romantic relationships - some people decide to take breaks from romantic relationships, and aromantic people do fall under the LGBT+ umbrella. However, you aren't prevented from having a partner or from marrying someone of the same gender as you; you're allowed to look for a romantic partner. As long as you're in a romantic relationship with someone who respects you and treats you as an equal, and supports your religion and your endeavors in life, the gender of your partner doesn't matter.\\n\\\"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.\\\" (Quran 30:21)\\nYou deserve a healthy relationship as much as any non-LGBT+ person does. If you recognize signs of abuse from your partner, you do not need to put up with it and are allowed by the Quran to separate from your partner.\\nSome LGBT+ Muslims are already in heterosexual marriages. While divorce is extremely frowned upon, Allah permits it when needed; if it's in your better interest to divorce for the sake of the happiness of both of you, then you should consider divorcing. It is not a good idea to have an affair with another LGBT+ person; not only are affairs considered wrong by most people regardless of religion, it's also extremely emotionally damaging to everyone involved.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to face bigotry or misunderstanding.\", \"描述\": \"Despite LGBT+ acceptance gaining momentum, not everyone is accepting of either LGBT+ people or Muslims, and even the most accepting areas will have some people who won't understand you. It can often be upsetting, and justifiably so; just remember that homophobia and transphobia often stems from a lack of knowledge about the subject. Don't lash out at them; the Quran encourages words of peace rather than words of anger, and lashing out will make the person's negative reactions look justified.\\nYou may need to explain to people that Muslims can be LGBT+. For example, you can say, \\\"Yes, I'm transgender and Muslim. My gender and my religious views don't affect each other\\\".\\nIf other Muslims tell you that you aren't a true follower of Islam because you're LGBT+, you may wish to script a response such as, \\\"Actually, the Prophet Lut was condemning the cruelties occurring in Sodom, and he condemned rape rather than homosexuality. It wouldn't make sense for Lut's wife to be punished if he was upset about the men of Sodom being gay\\\".\\nSome people may escalate to violence and physically attack you - whether for your identity or for your religion. While justification of self-defense is controversial in Islam, many countries have laws protecting those who attacked another in self-defense if you can prove you were acting in self-defense, rather than preemptively.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Remember that there will be others who will accept you.\", \"描述\": \"At times, it may feel like the whole world is against you and that nobody will accept you for who you are. However, you are not alone in what you're going through, and you will find people who will accept you - LGBT+, Muslim, and all - and support you through your walks of life. You aren't alone, and you can be loved for who you are, romantically or otherwise. You can get through this - and Allah will be alongside you the whole way!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Stay away from people and websites that claim that being LGBT+ is a sin, and surround yourself with people who accept you and make you feel good about yourself.\\n\", \"Social media sites can be a great way of connecting with other LGBT+ Muslims.\\n\", \"Beliefs vary even among LGBT+ Muslims. Some Muslims believe that Allah made them LGBT+. Others believe that being LGBT+ is part of Allah's plan for one's life, and that Allah knows best, even if the path He set is confusing. There are thousands of ways to be LGBT+, and thousands of ways to be Muslim. None of them are inherently wrong.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Several Islamic-based countries have outlawed being LGBT+. If you are in one of these countries, you may be arrested or sentenced to death for being LGBT+. Consider your choices wisely.\\n\", \"Avoid communicating aggressively with those who tell you that being LGBT+ is \\\"wrong\\\"; be peaceful. Being aggressive is not only frowned upon by Allah, but it's extremely likely to make others view you negatively and reinforce negative stereotypes about LGBT+ people and Muslims.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
139 | How to Accept Yourself as LGBT | 1. Processing Your Emotions
1-1. Look for the answers to questions you have about your sexuality.
When you first realize that you may be LGBTQ+, it’s normal to have questions. Learning about sexuality and what it means to be LGBTQ+ may help you answer these questions. Read online resources to help you recognize that being LGBTQ+ is part of who you are and there’s nothing wrong with it.
For instance, you might worry that being sexually attracted to the same sex is unhealthy, but it’s actually just as healthy as being straight.
1-2. Keep a journal
Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you process them. Journal every day or when you’re feeling conflicted. Include both your positive and negative experiences to help you remember that life includes both ups and downs.
Re-read your journal periodically to see how far you’ve come.
1-3. Talk to someone you trust when you’re struggling, if possible.
You don’t need to come out if you’re not ready. However, it helps to vent your feelings to someone who cares about you. Talk to a trusted friend or family member when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Tell them as much as you’re comfortable sharing. This might help you feel better.
You might say, “Right now I’m feeling really conflicted about something. I’m not comfortable talking about all of it, but I really need a friend right now.”
1-4. Recognize that you are normal and can live a very happy life.
Members of the LGBTQ+ community find partners, have families, thrive in their careers, and can enjoy all of life's ups and downs just like anyone else. Watch coming out stories on YouTube, as well as read coming out advice on the internet. Being LGBTQ+ is part of your identity, and you were born this way. You deserve to live a happy life as your authentic self!
While you might have negative experiences because of your sexuality, it’s important to remember that you’ll also have positive experiences. Try to focus on the good things in your life instead of the bad things.
1-5. Give yourself as much time as you need to label your sexuality.
Don’t feel rushed to label yourself as LGBTQ+ or to choose a specific sexuality, such as bisexual. Take as much time as you need to decide which labels you prefer if you want to use any. When you’re ready, decide what feels right to you and know that you can change it at anytime.
For instance, you might decide that you think you’re bisexual. However, it’s okay to decide later that you’re gay. It’s totally okay to change your label.
1-6. See a therapist if you’re having trouble processing your feelings.
If you’re having trouble accepting yourself, it may help to see a therapist. Your therapist can help you process your thoughts and feelings. They’ll also help you learn how to accept and love yourself. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or look for one online.
You may be able to find a therapist who is LGBTQ+.
Your therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.
2. Embracing Your Sexuality
2-1. Release self judgement
You might be having trouble accepting you sexuality because of what you’ve been taught about sexuality. This is really common, and it’s hard to overcome. Confront the judgments you’re making about yourself with loving kindness and facts about sexuality. Approach yourself with kindness and acceptance of who you are.
For instance, you may have been taught that being LGBTQ+ is a sin. While some people believe that, more and more people are starting to understand that sexuality is naturally fluid.
2-2. Attend a pro-LGBTQ+ event to help you feel positive about your sexuality.
Meeting other people in the LGBTQ+ community might help you feel more comfortable with your sexuality. Start going to events as an ally until you’re ready to come out of the closet. Talk to the people you meet and learn about their experiences. Spend more time around people who make you feel positive about being LGBTQ+.
If you feel comfortable, share with them that you’re also LGBTQ+ or questioning but that you’re not out yet.
For instance, you might attend a Pride event, a Meetup for the LGBTQ+ community, or a support group.
2-3. Build a support network of people who build you up.
A good support network will include friends, family, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community. Choose people who accept you as you are and boost your mood. Spend time with your support network to remind yourself that you’re loved.
You might be able to find friends by attending LGBTQ+ events and businesses, including Pride.
If you’re religious or spiritual, look for a community that supports who you are. You may be able to find a religious leader in your faith who is open to everyone, including LGBTQ+ people.
2-4. Minimize the time you spend with people who don’t accept you.
Unfortunately, some of your friends and family members may refuse to accept your LGBTQ+ identity. This can be super painful, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. When possible, remove these individuals from your life so that their negativity doesn’t bring you down. If the person is a loved one, limit your visits with them.
For instance, let’s say your aunt refuses to accept your identity. You might choose to see her only at holiday events.
2-5. Follow social media accounts that feature pro-LGBTQ+ content.
Look for accounts that interest you and hit follow. Seeing posts from others LGBTQ+ people reminds you that you aren’t alone. Additionally, it may help you learn more about what it means to be LGBTQ+ and how you can live your best life. Scroll through their posts when you need a boost.
If someone's content makes you feel uncomfortable or is divisive, remember that you can unfollow, report, or block their content.
2-6. Enjoy pro-LGBTQ+ movies, TV shows, and books.
Fortunately, you can find a wide array of content that features LGBTQ+ characters. This can help you realize that your experiences are common and it’s okay to celebrate who you are. Look for content that features characters you like and identify with.
Ignore content that mocks the LGBTQ+ community or focuses on stereotypes. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life!
3. Expressing Your Sexual Identity
3-1. Come out
Take as long as you need to feel comfortable coming out. When you feel the time is right, tell your closest friends and family members. Then, share your sexual identity with everyone else. Make the coming out process about you and do what makes you feel comfortable.
You might choose to tell a few people at a time, or you may decide to host a big party or post it on social media so everyone finds out at once.
If you’re not ready to come out, try coming out on an online support network. Be sure to use a screen name for safety purposes.
Don’t come out if it puts your health or safety at risk. If your parents or the person supporting you may be potentially abusive or might kick you out of the house, don’t tell them until you’re in a safe situation.
3-2. Be yourself and ignore the stereotypes.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of stereotypes about what it means to be LGBTQ+. However, there’s no one way to be. Dress however you like, walk and talk in a way that feels comfortable to you, and love who you want. Your life is yours, and you don’t need to model yourself after someone else to be part of the LGBTQ+ community.
As an example, you might have seen stereotypes of gay men as feminine and lesbian women as butch. Similarly, you might think of trans women as dressing a certain way. All of this is stereotyping, and it’s not a true reflection of how real, everyday LGBTQ+ people live.
3-3. Participate in pride events to celebrate who you are.
June is Pride Month in the United States, but you may find pride events at other times of the year and in other places. Pride helps you remember that being LGBTQ+ isn’t something to hide or be ashamed about. It’s who you are, and you deserve to feel loved and accepted. Look for pride events near you so that you can celebrate being LGBTQ+.
It’s fun to dress up for pride, but you can also wear normal street clothes. Pick what makes you feel comfy.
3-4. Participate in pro-LGBTQ+ activism if you feel ready.
While the LGBTQ+ community is making great strides in gaining equal rights and acceptance, there’s still a lot of work to do, especially from a global aspect. When you feel ready, consider becoming an activist. There are tons of ways you can help. Here are some ideas:
Donate to activist groups.
Volunteer for an activist group.
Write your lawmaker to promote pro-LGBTQ+ issues.
Join or lead a protest against discrimination.
Write for pro-LGBTQ+ publications.
Educate the people in your life about LGBTQ+ issues.
Tips
Know you're not alone. Many others identify the same as you and are living happy lives. You can, too.[18]
X
Research source
Take advantage of the self-help resources on the internet.
If you need extra support, try calling a helpline. The Trevor Project operates the Trevor Lifeline, which provides free, confidential counseling to LGBTQ+ and questioning youths. Call them at 866-488-7386.
Warnings
Each individual's experience differs greatly. Do what is safe in your situation and only when you are prepared to do so.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Processing Your Emotions\\n1-1. Look for the answers to questions you have about your sexuality.\\nWhen you first realize that you may be LGBTQ+, it’s normal to have questions. Learning about sexuality and what it means to be LGBTQ+ may help you answer these questions. Read online resources to help you recognize that being LGBTQ+ is part of who you are and there’s nothing wrong with it.\\nFor instance, you might worry that being sexually attracted to the same sex is unhealthy, but it’s actually just as healthy as being straight.\\n1-2. Keep a journal\\nWriting down your thoughts and feelings helps you process them. Journal every day or when you’re feeling conflicted. Include both your positive and negative experiences to help you remember that life includes both ups and downs.\\nRe-read your journal periodically to see how far you’ve come.\\n1-3. Talk to someone you trust when you’re struggling, if possible.\\nYou don’t need to come out if you’re not ready. However, it helps to vent your feelings to someone who cares about you. Talk to a trusted friend or family member when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Tell them as much as you’re comfortable sharing. This might help you feel better.\\nYou might say, “Right now I’m feeling really conflicted about something. I’m not comfortable talking about all of it, but I really need a friend right now.”\\n1-4. Recognize that you are normal and can live a very happy life.\\nMembers of the LGBTQ+ community find partners, have families, thrive in their careers, and can enjoy all of life's ups and downs just like anyone else. Watch coming out stories on YouTube, as well as read coming out advice on the internet. Being LGBTQ+ is part of your identity, and you were born this way. You deserve to live a happy life as your authentic self!\\nWhile you might have negative experiences because of your sexuality, it’s important to remember that you’ll also have positive experiences. Try to focus on the good things in your life instead of the bad things.\\n1-5. Give yourself as much time as you need to label your sexuality.\\nDon’t feel rushed to label yourself as LGBTQ+ or to choose a specific sexuality, such as bisexual. Take as much time as you need to decide which labels you prefer if you want to use any. When you’re ready, decide what feels right to you and know that you can change it at anytime.\\nFor instance, you might decide that you think you’re bisexual. However, it’s okay to decide later that you’re gay. It’s totally okay to change your label.\\n1-6. See a therapist if you’re having trouble processing your feelings.\\nIf you’re having trouble accepting yourself, it may help to see a therapist. Your therapist can help you process your thoughts and feelings. They’ll also help you learn how to accept and love yourself. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or look for one online.\\nYou may be able to find a therapist who is LGBTQ+.\\nYour therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.\\n2. Embracing Your Sexuality\\n2-1. Release self judgement\\nYou might be having trouble accepting you sexuality because of what you’ve been taught about sexuality. This is really common, and it’s hard to overcome. Confront the judgments you’re making about yourself with loving kindness and facts about sexuality. Approach yourself with kindness and acceptance of who you are.\\nFor instance, you may have been taught that being LGBTQ+ is a sin. While some people believe that, more and more people are starting to understand that sexuality is naturally fluid.\\n2-2. Attend a pro-LGBTQ+ event to help you feel positive about your sexuality.\\nMeeting other people in the LGBTQ+ community might help you feel more comfortable with your sexuality. Start going to events as an ally until you’re ready to come out of the closet. Talk to the people you meet and learn about their experiences. Spend more time around people who make you feel positive about being LGBTQ+.\\nIf you feel comfortable, share with them that you’re also LGBTQ+ or questioning but that you’re not out yet.\\nFor instance, you might attend a Pride event, a Meetup for the LGBTQ+ community, or a support group.\\n2-3. Build a support network of people who build you up.\\nA good support network will include friends, family, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community. Choose people who accept you as you are and boost your mood. Spend time with your support network to remind yourself that you’re loved.\\nYou might be able to find friends by attending LGBTQ+ events and businesses, including Pride.\\nIf you’re religious or spiritual, look for a community that supports who you are. You may be able to find a religious leader in your faith who is open to everyone, including LGBTQ+ people.\\n2-4. Minimize the time you spend with people who don’t accept you.\\nUnfortunately, some of your friends and family members may refuse to accept your LGBTQ+ identity. This can be super painful, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. When possible, remove these individuals from your life so that their negativity doesn’t bring you down. If the person is a loved one, limit your visits with them.\\nFor instance, let’s say your aunt refuses to accept your identity. You might choose to see her only at holiday events.\\n2-5. Follow social media accounts that feature pro-LGBTQ+ content.\\nLook for accounts that interest you and hit follow. Seeing posts from others LGBTQ+ people reminds you that you aren’t alone. Additionally, it may help you learn more about what it means to be LGBTQ+ and how you can live your best life. Scroll through their posts when you need a boost.\\nIf someone's content makes you feel uncomfortable or is divisive, remember that you can unfollow, report, or block their content.\\n2-6. Enjoy pro-LGBTQ+ movies, TV shows, and books.\\nFortunately, you can find a wide array of content that features LGBTQ+ characters. This can help you realize that your experiences are common and it’s okay to celebrate who you are. Look for content that features characters you like and identify with.\\nIgnore content that mocks the LGBTQ+ community or focuses on stereotypes. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life!\\n3. Expressing Your Sexual Identity\\n3-1. Come out\\nTake as long as you need to feel comfortable coming out. When you feel the time is right, tell your closest friends and family members. Then, share your sexual identity with everyone else. Make the coming out process about you and do what makes you feel comfortable.\\nYou might choose to tell a few people at a time, or you may decide to host a big party or post it on social media so everyone finds out at once.\\nIf you’re not ready to come out, try coming out on an online support network. Be sure to use a screen name for safety purposes.\\nDon’t come out if it puts your health or safety at risk. If your parents or the person supporting you may be potentially abusive or might kick you out of the house, don’t tell them until you’re in a safe situation.\\n3-2. Be yourself and ignore the stereotypes.\\nUnfortunately, there are a lot of stereotypes about what it means to be LGBTQ+. However, there’s no one way to be. Dress however you like, walk and talk in a way that feels comfortable to you, and love who you want. Your life is yours, and you don’t need to model yourself after someone else to be part of the LGBTQ+ community.\\nAs an example, you might have seen stereotypes of gay men as feminine and lesbian women as butch. Similarly, you might think of trans women as dressing a certain way. All of this is stereotyping, and it’s not a true reflection of how real, everyday LGBTQ+ people live.\\n3-3. Participate in pride events to celebrate who you are.\\nJune is Pride Month in the United States, but you may find pride events at other times of the year and in other places. Pride helps you remember that being LGBTQ+ isn’t something to hide or be ashamed about. It’s who you are, and you deserve to feel loved and accepted. Look for pride events near you so that you can celebrate being LGBTQ+.\\nIt’s fun to dress up for pride, but you can also wear normal street clothes. Pick what makes you feel comfy.\\n3-4. Participate in pro-LGBTQ+ activism if you feel ready.\\nWhile the LGBTQ+ community is making great strides in gaining equal rights and acceptance, there’s still a lot of work to do, especially from a global aspect. When you feel ready, consider becoming an activist. There are tons of ways you can help. Here are some ideas:\\nDonate to activist groups.\\nVolunteer for an activist group.\\nWrite your lawmaker to promote pro-LGBTQ+ issues.\\nJoin or lead a protest against discrimination.\\nWrite for pro-LGBTQ+ publications.\\nEducate the people in your life about LGBTQ+ issues.\\nTips\\nKnow you're not alone. Many others identify the same as you and are living happy lives. You can, too.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTake advantage of the self-help resources on the internet.\\nIf you need extra support, try calling a helpline. The Trevor Project operates the Trevor Lifeline, which provides free, confidential counseling to LGBTQ+ and questioning youths. Call them at 866-488-7386.\\nWarnings\\nEach individual's experience differs greatly. Do what is safe in your situation and only when you are prepared to do so.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Realizing you’re LGBTQ+ can be confusing at first, but it’s actually something to celebrate! To help you accept your sexuality, start by processing your thoughts and feelings about being LGBTQ+ through learning about your sexuality, journaling, and talking to people who can help. Then, embrace your sexuality by releasing self judgments, attending pro-LGBTQ+ events, and spending time with people who support you. When you’re ready, express your identity as an LGBTQ+ person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Processing Your Emotions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for the answers to questions you have about your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"When you first realize that you may be LGBTQ+, it’s normal to have questions. Learning about sexuality and what it means to be LGBTQ+ may help you answer these questions. Read online resources to help you recognize that being LGBTQ+ is part of who you are and there’s nothing wrong with it.\\nFor instance, you might worry that being sexually attracted to the same sex is unhealthy, but it’s actually just as healthy as being straight.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep a journal\", \"描述\": \"Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you process them. Journal every day or when you’re feeling conflicted. Include both your positive and negative experiences to help you remember that life includes both ups and downs.\\nRe-read your journal periodically to see how far you’ve come.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust when you’re struggling, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to come out if you’re not ready. However, it helps to vent your feelings to someone who cares about you. Talk to a trusted friend or family member when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Tell them as much as you’re comfortable sharing. This might help you feel better.\\nYou might say, “Right now I’m feeling really conflicted about something. I’m not comfortable talking about all of it, but I really need a friend right now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Recognize that you are normal and can live a very happy life.\", \"描述\": \"Members of the LGBTQ+ community find partners, have families, thrive in their careers, and can enjoy all of life's ups and downs just like anyone else. Watch coming out stories on YouTube, as well as read coming out advice on the internet. Being LGBTQ+ is part of your identity, and you were born this way. You deserve to live a happy life as your authentic self!\\nWhile you might have negative experiences because of your sexuality, it’s important to remember that you’ll also have positive experiences. Try to focus on the good things in your life instead of the bad things.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give yourself as much time as you need to label your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t feel rushed to label yourself as LGBTQ+ or to choose a specific sexuality, such as bisexual. Take as much time as you need to decide which labels you prefer if you want to use any. When you’re ready, decide what feels right to you and know that you can change it at anytime.\\nFor instance, you might decide that you think you’re bisexual. However, it’s okay to decide later that you’re gay. It’s totally okay to change your label.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"See a therapist if you’re having trouble processing your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re having trouble accepting yourself, it may help to see a therapist. Your therapist can help you process your thoughts and feelings. They’ll also help you learn how to accept and love yourself. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist or look for one online.\\nYou may be able to find a therapist who is LGBTQ+.\\nYour therapy appointments may be covered by insurance, so check your benefits.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embracing Your Sexuality\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Release self judgement\", \"描述\": \"You might be having trouble accepting you sexuality because of what you’ve been taught about sexuality. This is really common, and it’s hard to overcome. Confront the judgments you’re making about yourself with loving kindness and facts about sexuality. Approach yourself with kindness and acceptance of who you are.\\nFor instance, you may have been taught that being LGBTQ+ is a sin. While some people believe that, more and more people are starting to understand that sexuality is naturally fluid.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Attend a pro-LGBTQ+ event to help you feel positive about your sexuality.\", \"描述\": \"Meeting other people in the LGBTQ+ community might help you feel more comfortable with your sexuality. Start going to events as an ally until you’re ready to come out of the closet. Talk to the people you meet and learn about their experiences. Spend more time around people who make you feel positive about being LGBTQ+.\\nIf you feel comfortable, share with them that you’re also LGBTQ+ or questioning but that you’re not out yet.\\nFor instance, you might attend a Pride event, a Meetup for the LGBTQ+ community, or a support group.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Build a support network of people who build you up.\", \"描述\": \"A good support network will include friends, family, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community. Choose people who accept you as you are and boost your mood. Spend time with your support network to remind yourself that you’re loved.\\nYou might be able to find friends by attending LGBTQ+ events and businesses, including Pride.\\nIf you’re religious or spiritual, look for a community that supports who you are. You may be able to find a religious leader in your faith who is open to everyone, including LGBTQ+ people.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Minimize the time you spend with people who don’t accept you.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, some of your friends and family members may refuse to accept your LGBTQ+ identity. This can be super painful, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. When possible, remove these individuals from your life so that their negativity doesn’t bring you down. If the person is a loved one, limit your visits with them.\\nFor instance, let’s say your aunt refuses to accept your identity. You might choose to see her only at holiday events.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Follow social media accounts that feature pro-LGBTQ+ content.\", \"描述\": \"Look for accounts that interest you and hit follow. Seeing posts from others LGBTQ+ people reminds you that you aren’t alone. Additionally, it may help you learn more about what it means to be LGBTQ+ and how you can live your best life. Scroll through their posts when you need a boost.\\nIf someone's content makes you feel uncomfortable or is divisive, remember that you can unfollow, report, or block their content.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enjoy pro-LGBTQ+ movies, TV shows, and books.\", \"描述\": \"Fortunately, you can find a wide array of content that features LGBTQ+ characters. This can help you realize that your experiences are common and it’s okay to celebrate who you are. Look for content that features characters you like and identify with.\\nIgnore content that mocks the LGBTQ+ community or focuses on stereotypes. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Expressing Your Sexual Identity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come out\", \"描述\": \"Take as long as you need to feel comfortable coming out. When you feel the time is right, tell your closest friends and family members. Then, share your sexual identity with everyone else. Make the coming out process about you and do what makes you feel comfortable.\\nYou might choose to tell a few people at a time, or you may decide to host a big party or post it on social media so everyone finds out at once.\\nIf you’re not ready to come out, try coming out on an online support network. Be sure to use a screen name for safety purposes.\\nDon’t come out if it puts your health or safety at risk. If your parents or the person supporting you may be potentially abusive or might kick you out of the house, don’t tell them until you’re in a safe situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be yourself and ignore the stereotypes.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, there are a lot of stereotypes about what it means to be LGBTQ+. However, there’s no one way to be. Dress however you like, walk and talk in a way that feels comfortable to you, and love who you want. Your life is yours, and you don’t need to model yourself after someone else to be part of the LGBTQ+ community.\\nAs an example, you might have seen stereotypes of gay men as feminine and lesbian women as butch. Similarly, you might think of trans women as dressing a certain way. All of this is stereotyping, and it’s not a true reflection of how real, everyday LGBTQ+ people live.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Participate in pride events to celebrate who you are.\", \"描述\": \"June is Pride Month in the United States, but you may find pride events at other times of the year and in other places. Pride helps you remember that being LGBTQ+ isn’t something to hide or be ashamed about. It’s who you are, and you deserve to feel loved and accepted. Look for pride events near you so that you can celebrate being LGBTQ+.\\nIt’s fun to dress up for pride, but you can also wear normal street clothes. Pick what makes you feel comfy.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Participate in pro-LGBTQ+ activism if you feel ready.\", \"描述\": \"While the LGBTQ+ community is making great strides in gaining equal rights and acceptance, there’s still a lot of work to do, especially from a global aspect. When you feel ready, consider becoming an activist. There are tons of ways you can help. Here are some ideas:\\nDonate to activist groups.\\nVolunteer for an activist group.\\nWrite your lawmaker to promote pro-LGBTQ+ issues.\\nJoin or lead a protest against discrimination.\\nWrite for pro-LGBTQ+ publications.\\nEducate the people in your life about LGBTQ+ issues.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Know you're not alone. Many others identify the same as you and are living happy lives. You can, too.[18]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Take advantage of the self-help resources on the internet.\\n\", \"If you need extra support, try calling a helpline. The Trevor Project operates the Trevor Lifeline, which provides free, confidential counseling to LGBTQ+ and questioning youths. Call them at 866-488-7386.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Each individual's experience differs greatly. Do what is safe in your situation and only when you are prepared to do so.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
140 | How to Accept a Break Up | 1. Respecting Their Decision
1-1. Resist the temptation to beg.
It may seem like a good idea to plead with your ex and convince them to stay, but begging will only make you lose respect for yourself. Plus, you don't want a love you have to beg for, right?
Instead of pleading for a reunion, make a list of all the reasons why the breakup is a good idea. For example, maybe you and your ex were growing apart or perhaps your family didn't approve of them.
1-2. Ask basic questions only.
To get closure, you may want to know why the breakup happened. It's perfectly okay to ask why your ex wants to break up, or what you should tell your mutual friends, but resist the urge to ask too many questions.
Focus on getting need-to-know information that can help you cope with the days and weeks ahead.
1-3. Save less pressing questions for later.
After a few weeks, if you still have questions, then you might reach out to your ex to resolve them. Maybe, after giving it some thought, you noticed a pattern of behavior in yourself that you'd like to change. Getting your ex's feedback could help you improve certain relationship tendencies so you won't make the same mistake in future situations.
Dont expect to get total closure from your ex though. You are the only person who can truly give you closure anyway. There may always be some unanswered questions when a relationship ends.
1-4. Suspend your hopes for a friendship—for now.
Don't try to be friends with your ex right away. Give the both of you time to heal and adjust to life as single people.
Trying to force a friendship too soon could backfire. If it's meant to happen, it will.
1-5. Cut contact with your ex, off- and online.
No contact is the way to go after a breakup. Any communication between the two of you will only delay your ability to heal. Remove your ex's contact information from your phone email and unfriend them on social media.
If you become friends in the future, it's okay to maintain contact on social media. But, for right now, try to avoid any contact at all with your ex.
Cut contact until you feel like you have resolved your feelings for your ex, which could be anywhere from a few weeks to several months.
2. Letting Go of the Relationship
2-1. Allow yourself to grieve.
Give yourself the time and space you need to grieve the end of your relationship. Decide on a specific period of time to let yourself grieve. You may need a few days to a few weeks, depending on the circumstances, to get over the breakup.
It's normal to grieve after a relationship ends, so try not to judge yourself.
Grieve however you need to. That might be through crying, yelling, curling up in bed with a sappy book or romance movie. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
2-2. Write a letter
Get everything off your shoulders by writing a letter to your ex. Don't mail the letter, but include everything you would like to say as though they could read it themselves.
You might write about how surprised, humiliated, or even relieved you felt about the breakup. Let all of your thoughts and feelings come out.
You don't need to mail the letter because this exercise is meant to give you closure, not your ex. You simply need to be open about what you're thinking and feeling.
2-3. Pack or throw away mementos.
Get rid of all the things that remind you of the relationship. Create piles for trash, donation, or to box up for storage. Getting relationship reminders out of sight can help you to move on.
If you have items that your ex may want back, figure out the best way to return them without making yourself too upset. This may mean mailing a box to their address or asking a friend to deliver it.
If you need support while doing this, ask a friend or family member to help.
2-4. Lift your spirits by indulging yourself for a period of time.
Release the pain of your breakup by pampering yourself. Go to the salon and get your hair or nails done, visit the spa, or buy yourself a fancy new outfit or a box of your favorite chocolates.
Doing something special for yourself will make you feel better and more hopeful about the future.
3. Improving Your Outlook
3-1. Set strong boundaries with your ex.
Your ex may try to come back into your life when they need attention or intimacy. Verbalize to your ex that “over means over” and refuse to allow the person to drop in and out of your life.
Turn down the offer if they ask you to hang out one-on-one or have sex.
This also means communicating your boundaries when the person expects you to drop everything to see them or interferes with your other relationships.
Try to discontinue any joint activities that the two of you may have shared. Your ex may think that you two can continue some of these even though you have broken up. You will need to choose to discontinue them, or find new outlets away from your ex.
3-2. Date yourself for a while.
If you've been in a relationship for an extended period of time, you may have been neglecting your self-care. Use your new single status to make yourself number one.
Do all of the things that you've always wanted to do but never did in your relationship. Take yourself out to new and interesting restaurants, browse around art galleries, and attend concerts.
On your self-dates, be sure to look your very best just as you would on a regular date. Get a new haircut or try out a new signature scent.
3-3. Spend time with people who build you up.
Your self-esteem can take a hit after a breakup. Remind yourself how worthy you are by surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people.
If you lack a strong support system, try joining a new club or organization in your area.
You could also try to rekindle and rebuild relationships that you may have neglected while you were with your ex.
3-4. Try something new.
Think of one small way to challenge yourself and do it. Taking even a minor risk can make you feel empowered.
Take self-defense, sign up for a cooking class, complete a certification for your job, or wear brighter colors in your everyday wardrobe. Switching things up can make you feel brand new.
You could also try journaling. This can be a valuable outlet for your feelings.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Respecting Their Decision\\n1-1. Resist the temptation to beg.\\nIt may seem like a good idea to plead with your ex and convince them to stay, but begging will only make you lose respect for yourself. Plus, you don't want a love you have to beg for, right?\\nInstead of pleading for a reunion, make a list of all the reasons why the breakup is a good idea. For example, maybe you and your ex were growing apart or perhaps your family didn't approve of them.\\n1-2. Ask basic questions only.\\nTo get closure, you may want to know why the breakup happened. It's perfectly okay to ask why your ex wants to break up, or what you should tell your mutual friends, but resist the urge to ask too many questions.\\nFocus on getting need-to-know information that can help you cope with the days and weeks ahead.\\n1-3. Save less pressing questions for later.\\nAfter a few weeks, if you still have questions, then you might reach out to your ex to resolve them. Maybe, after giving it some thought, you noticed a pattern of behavior in yourself that you'd like to change. Getting your ex's feedback could help you improve certain relationship tendencies so you won't make the same mistake in future situations.\\nDont expect to get total closure from your ex though. You are the only person who can truly give you closure anyway. There may always be some unanswered questions when a relationship ends.\\n1-4. Suspend your hopes for a friendship—for now.\\nDon't try to be friends with your ex right away. Give the both of you time to heal and adjust to life as single people.\\nTrying to force a friendship too soon could backfire. If it's meant to happen, it will.\\n1-5. Cut contact with your ex, off- and online.\\nNo contact is the way to go after a breakup. Any communication between the two of you will only delay your ability to heal. Remove your ex's contact information from your phone email and unfriend them on social media.\\nIf you become friends in the future, it's okay to maintain contact on social media. But, for right now, try to avoid any contact at all with your ex.\\nCut contact until you feel like you have resolved your feelings for your ex, which could be anywhere from a few weeks to several months.\\n2. Letting Go of the Relationship\\n2-1. Allow yourself to grieve.\\nGive yourself the time and space you need to grieve the end of your relationship. Decide on a specific period of time to let yourself grieve. You may need a few days to a few weeks, depending on the circumstances, to get over the breakup.\\nIt's normal to grieve after a relationship ends, so try not to judge yourself.\\nGrieve however you need to. That might be through crying, yelling, curling up in bed with a sappy book or romance movie. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.\\n2-2. Write a letter\\nGet everything off your shoulders by writing a letter to your ex. Don't mail the letter, but include everything you would like to say as though they could read it themselves.\\nYou might write about how surprised, humiliated, or even relieved you felt about the breakup. Let all of your thoughts and feelings come out.\\nYou don't need to mail the letter because this exercise is meant to give you closure, not your ex. You simply need to be open about what you're thinking and feeling.\\n2-3. Pack or throw away mementos.\\nGet rid of all the things that remind you of the relationship. Create piles for trash, donation, or to box up for storage. Getting relationship reminders out of sight can help you to move on.\\nIf you have items that your ex may want back, figure out the best way to return them without making yourself too upset. This may mean mailing a box to their address or asking a friend to deliver it.\\nIf you need support while doing this, ask a friend or family member to help.\\n2-4. Lift your spirits by indulging yourself for a period of time.\\nRelease the pain of your breakup by pampering yourself. Go to the salon and get your hair or nails done, visit the spa, or buy yourself a fancy new outfit or a box of your favorite chocolates.\\nDoing something special for yourself will make you feel better and more hopeful about the future.\\n3. Improving Your Outlook\\n3-1. Set strong boundaries with your ex.\\nYour ex may try to come back into your life when they need attention or intimacy. Verbalize to your ex that “over means over” and refuse to allow the person to drop in and out of your life.\\nTurn down the offer if they ask you to hang out one-on-one or have sex.\\nThis also means communicating your boundaries when the person expects you to drop everything to see them or interferes with your other relationships.\\nTry to discontinue any joint activities that the two of you may have shared. Your ex may think that you two can continue some of these even though you have broken up. You will need to choose to discontinue them, or find new outlets away from your ex.\\n3-2. Date yourself for a while.\\nIf you've been in a relationship for an extended period of time, you may have been neglecting your self-care. Use your new single status to make yourself number one.\\nDo all of the things that you've always wanted to do but never did in your relationship. Take yourself out to new and interesting restaurants, browse around art galleries, and attend concerts.\\nOn your self-dates, be sure to look your very best just as you would on a regular date. Get a new haircut or try out a new signature scent.\\n3-3. Spend time with people who build you up.\\nYour self-esteem can take a hit after a breakup. Remind yourself how worthy you are by surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people.\\nIf you lack a strong support system, try joining a new club or organization in your area.\\nYou could also try to rekindle and rebuild relationships that you may have neglected while you were with your ex.\\n3-4. Try something new.\\nThink of one small way to challenge yourself and do it. Taking even a minor risk can make you feel empowered.\\nTake self-defense, sign up for a cooking class, complete a certification for your job, or wear brighter colors in your everyday wardrobe. Switching things up can make you feel brand new.\\nYou could also try journaling. This can be a valuable outlet for your feelings.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re having trouble coming to terms with a breakup, you may have been blindsided by the decision and may even still want your ex back. Deep down, you know you have to respect their wishes, but that doesn’t make moving on any easier. Begging or desperately trying to seek understanding from your ex can jeopardize your sense of self-respect. Instead, grant yourself permission to mourn the relationship and find closure in your own way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respecting Their Decision\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Resist the temptation to beg.\", \"描述\": \"It may seem like a good idea to plead with your ex and convince them to stay, but begging will only make you lose respect for yourself. Plus, you don't want a love you have to beg for, right?\\nInstead of pleading for a reunion, make a list of all the reasons why the breakup is a good idea. For example, maybe you and your ex were growing apart or perhaps your family didn't approve of them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask basic questions only.\", \"描述\": \"To get closure, you may want to know why the breakup happened. It's perfectly okay to ask why your ex wants to break up, or what you should tell your mutual friends, but resist the urge to ask too many questions.\\nFocus on getting need-to-know information that can help you cope with the days and weeks ahead.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Save less pressing questions for later.\", \"描述\": \"After a few weeks, if you still have questions, then you might reach out to your ex to resolve them. Maybe, after giving it some thought, you noticed a pattern of behavior in yourself that you'd like to change. Getting your ex's feedback could help you improve certain relationship tendencies so you won't make the same mistake in future situations.\\nDont expect to get total closure from your ex though. You are the only person who can truly give you closure anyway. There may always be some unanswered questions when a relationship ends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suspend your hopes for a friendship—for now.\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to be friends with your ex right away. Give the both of you time to heal and adjust to life as single people.\\nTrying to force a friendship too soon could backfire. If it's meant to happen, it will.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cut contact with your ex, off- and online.\", \"描述\": \"No contact is the way to go after a breakup. Any communication between the two of you will only delay your ability to heal. Remove your ex's contact information from your phone email and unfriend them on social media.\\nIf you become friends in the future, it's okay to maintain contact on social media. But, for right now, try to avoid any contact at all with your ex.\\nCut contact until you feel like you have resolved your feelings for your ex, which could be anywhere from a few weeks to several months.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Letting Go of the Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Allow yourself to grieve.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself the time and space you need to grieve the end of your relationship. Decide on a specific period of time to let yourself grieve. You may need a few days to a few weeks, depending on the circumstances, to get over the breakup.\\nIt's normal to grieve after a relationship ends, so try not to judge yourself.\\nGrieve however you need to. That might be through crying, yelling, curling up in bed with a sappy book or romance movie. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write a letter\", \"描述\": \"Get everything off your shoulders by writing a letter to your ex. Don't mail the letter, but include everything you would like to say as though they could read it themselves.\\nYou might write about how surprised, humiliated, or even relieved you felt about the breakup. Let all of your thoughts and feelings come out.\\nYou don't need to mail the letter because this exercise is meant to give you closure, not your ex. You simply need to be open about what you're thinking and feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pack or throw away mementos.\", \"描述\": \"Get rid of all the things that remind you of the relationship. Create piles for trash, donation, or to box up for storage. Getting relationship reminders out of sight can help you to move on.\\nIf you have items that your ex may want back, figure out the best way to return them without making yourself too upset. This may mean mailing a box to their address or asking a friend to deliver it.\\nIf you need support while doing this, ask a friend or family member to help.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Lift your spirits by indulging yourself for a period of time.\", \"描述\": \"Release the pain of your breakup by pampering yourself. Go to the salon and get your hair or nails done, visit the spa, or buy yourself a fancy new outfit or a box of your favorite chocolates.\\nDoing something special for yourself will make you feel better and more hopeful about the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Outlook\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set strong boundaries with your ex.\", \"描述\": \"Your ex may try to come back into your life when they need attention or intimacy. Verbalize to your ex that “over means over” and refuse to allow the person to drop in and out of your life.\\nTurn down the offer if they ask you to hang out one-on-one or have sex.\\nThis also means communicating your boundaries when the person expects you to drop everything to see them or interferes with your other relationships.\\nTry to discontinue any joint activities that the two of you may have shared. Your ex may think that you two can continue some of these even though you have broken up. You will need to choose to discontinue them, or find new outlets away from your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Date yourself for a while.\", \"描述\": \"If you've been in a relationship for an extended period of time, you may have been neglecting your self-care. Use your new single status to make yourself number one.\\nDo all of the things that you've always wanted to do but never did in your relationship. Take yourself out to new and interesting restaurants, browse around art galleries, and attend concerts.\\nOn your self-dates, be sure to look your very best just as you would on a regular date. Get a new haircut or try out a new signature scent.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend time with people who build you up.\", \"描述\": \"Your self-esteem can take a hit after a breakup. Remind yourself how worthy you are by surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people.\\nIf you lack a strong support system, try joining a new club or organization in your area.\\nYou could also try to rekindle and rebuild relationships that you may have neglected while you were with your ex.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try something new.\", \"描述\": \"Think of one small way to challenge yourself and do it. Taking even a minor risk can make you feel empowered.\\nTake self-defense, sign up for a cooking class, complete a certification for your job, or wear brighter colors in your everyday wardrobe. Switching things up can make you feel brand new.\\nYou could also try journaling. This can be a valuable outlet for your feelings.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
141 | How to Accept a Close Friend's Sexual Orientation | 1. Reacting to the News
1-1. Stay calm.
Don’t freak out, even if you feel shocked or upset. It’s okay if you need a little time to wrap your head around it. Just take a deep breath and remember how you felt about your friend before they confided in you. Your friend is still the same person, so there’s no reason to treat them differently now.
To calm down, close your eyes and silently count to 10. Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You may even ask your friend for a moment to yourself to listen to music or walk around the block.
Often the coming out is a relief because you have both danced around the topic.
1-2. Tell your friend that you still care about them.
Your friend is probably feeling nervous and uncertain right now, so reassure them that you value their friendship as much as ever. If you know they’re comfortable with being touched, give them a hug to show your acceptance and love.
You might reassure your friend by saying, "I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything. I still care about you just as much as I always have."
1-3. Thank your friend for trusting you.
Coming out can be scary, especially for people who are just coming to terms with their own sexuality. Tell your friend you’re glad they trusted you enough to confide in you.
Say something like, "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Thanks for trusting in our friendship and sharing this with me. I really admire your honesty and bravery."
Ask about how you can support your friend, like, "I really want to be there for you in any way I can. Is there a way I can support you right now?"
1-4. Avoid trivializing your friend’s orientation.
Most people do a lot of thinking and soul-searching before they come out to anyone. Your friend is probably quite certain about their orientation, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. Questioning them and showing doubt about the situation may hurt your friend and make them feel like you aren’t taking them seriously.
At all costs, avoid saying things like, “Are you sure?” or “It’s probably just a phase.”
1-5. Talk about it as long as your friend needs to.
A good conversation can help both you and your friend process your feelings and attitudes. Listen to your friend, and try to understand where they’re coming from. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something, but if your friend seems uncomfortable with a topic, respect their limits.
For example, you might want to ask, “How long have you known you’re gay?” or "What can I do to support you? I'd like to."
1-6. Don’t make the conversation about you.
Focus on your friend’s feelings and needs. You might feel shaken up right now, but your friend is still going through a lot more than you are. You’ll have plenty of time later to reflect and work on your own feelings.
It’s okay to share your feelings, especially if your friend asks you to. However, don’t make your feelings the central focus of your conversation.
For instance, if you’re feeling conflicted, you could say, “It will take some time for me to get used to this, but you’re still my best friend. Do you need anything from me right now?”
For example, if they come out as gay and you are the same gender as them, don't automatically assume they have a crush on you.
2. Empathizing with Your Friend
2-1. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes.
If you are straight, imagine living in a world where heterosexuality was stigmatized. Think about how your life might be different and how you would want other people to treat you. Now consider what your friend faces each and every day, and think about how you can make a difference in their life by being a good friend to them.
Despite increasing societal acceptance, LGBTQ people still face issues like workplace and housing discrimination, mental health problems, violence, and judgment from family and friends. Additionally, some LGBTQ people face outright rejection from their families. Being aware of these issues can help you support your friend better.
2-2. Educate yourself.
Understanding the history of the LGBTQ community and the problems they face today can make your friend’s orientation easier to understand and, eventually, to accept. Talking to your friend is a good start. You can also find plenty of educational resources online.
One good resource is the GLBT Historical Society’s website at http://www.glbthistory.org/.
Another good resource is the PFLAG website at https://www.pflag.org/.
2-3. Ask questions.
If you don’t understand something, don’t just leave it a mystery. Talking with your friend will help you iron out things you need clarification on. Remember, though, that your friend is just one person and doesn’t speak for all LGBTQ people.
If you ask a question your friend doesn’t know the answer to, try to find an answer together.
Take matters into your own hands and learn some things on your own through research. Your friend will most likely really appreciate your effort and interest.
2-4. Examine your own feelings about your friend’s orientation.
If you feel uncomfortable or challenged because of your friend’s orientation, take some time to think about why you’re feeling this way. Ask yourself whether your beliefs or attitudes make you feel negative towards LGBTQ people. If so, look for ways to address these issues.
For instance, you could talk to someone else about your feelings or find more information on the issue.
Remember that your feelings and beliefs are your own responsibility, not your friend’s.
Try not to be angry with yourself. It's okay to be unaware but willing to learn. Just accept your friend as you work through your own feelings.
3. Maintaining the Friendship
3-1. Accept that you aren’t going to change your friend’s orientation.
Your friend is certain about their orientation, so whether or not it’s a choice is irrelevant. If you want to be a good friend, take their word for it. Treat your friend’s orientation as a simple fact, like their height, and avoid using language that suggests it is a choice or lifestyle.
3-2. Avoid becoming fixated on your friend’s orientation.
You don’t have to ignore or forget about your friend’s orientation, but don’t make a big deal of it, either. Treat your friend the same way you did before, and keep spending time together and doing the same things as always.
Remember that your friend isn’t defined by their orientation or sex life any more than you are defined by yours.
3-3. Support your friend.
Be there for your friend when they need company or emotional support. Include them in your plans, and offer to help them come out to other people. If someone harasses or bullies your friend, stand up for them.
If your friend is dating someone, meet that person. This shows that you have a genuine interest in your friend’s life.
3-4. Trust your friend to respect your friendship.
When your friend comes out to you, your knee-jerk response might be to worry that they’re sexually interested in you. Try to dismiss this worry. You don’t put the moves on everyone of the opposite gender, so there’s no reason to assume that your friend wants to make a move on you, either.
There is a small chance that your friend may develop feelings for you. If this happens, don’t make a big deal of it. Just say something like, “I’m flattered, but I’m straight.” If they’re a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.
Don’t experiment sexually with your friend, even if you’re curious. Your friend may end up feeling used, especially if you aren’t serious. The risk of ruining your friendship isn’t worth it.
3-5. Keep your friend’s confidence.
Don’t out your friend to anyone else. Ask them who else they have told, and reassure them that they can trust you to keep their orientation confidential.
Even if you decide that you can’t maintain the friendship, be respectful of your friend’s privacy and keep the reason to yourself. If anyone asks, just say you drifted apart.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reacting to the News\\n1-1. Stay calm.\\nDon’t freak out, even if you feel shocked or upset. It’s okay if you need a little time to wrap your head around it. Just take a deep breath and remember how you felt about your friend before they confided in you. Your friend is still the same person, so there’s no reason to treat them differently now.\\nTo calm down, close your eyes and silently count to 10. Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You may even ask your friend for a moment to yourself to listen to music or walk around the block.\\nOften the coming out is a relief because you have both danced around the topic.\\n1-2. Tell your friend that you still care about them.\\nYour friend is probably feeling nervous and uncertain right now, so reassure them that you value their friendship as much as ever. If you know they’re comfortable with being touched, give them a hug to show your acceptance and love.\\nYou might reassure your friend by saying, \\\"I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything. I still care about you just as much as I always have.\\\"\\n1-3. Thank your friend for trusting you.\\nComing out can be scary, especially for people who are just coming to terms with their own sexuality. Tell your friend you’re glad they trusted you enough to confide in you.\\nSay something like, \\\"I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Thanks for trusting in our friendship and sharing this with me. I really admire your honesty and bravery.\\\"\\nAsk about how you can support your friend, like, \\\"I really want to be there for you in any way I can. Is there a way I can support you right now?\\\"\\n1-4. Avoid trivializing your friend’s orientation.\\nMost people do a lot of thinking and soul-searching before they come out to anyone. Your friend is probably quite certain about their orientation, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. Questioning them and showing doubt about the situation may hurt your friend and make them feel like you aren’t taking them seriously.\\nAt all costs, avoid saying things like, “Are you sure?” or “It’s probably just a phase.”\\n1-5. Talk about it as long as your friend needs to.\\nA good conversation can help both you and your friend process your feelings and attitudes. Listen to your friend, and try to understand where they’re coming from. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something, but if your friend seems uncomfortable with a topic, respect their limits.\\nFor example, you might want to ask, “How long have you known you’re gay?” or \\\"What can I do to support you? I'd like to.\\\"\\n1-6. Don’t make the conversation about you.\\nFocus on your friend’s feelings and needs. You might feel shaken up right now, but your friend is still going through a lot more than you are. You’ll have plenty of time later to reflect and work on your own feelings.\\nIt’s okay to share your feelings, especially if your friend asks you to. However, don’t make your feelings the central focus of your conversation.\\nFor instance, if you’re feeling conflicted, you could say, “It will take some time for me to get used to this, but you’re still my best friend. Do you need anything from me right now?”\\nFor example, if they come out as gay and you are the same gender as them, don't automatically assume they have a crush on you.\\n2. Empathizing with Your Friend\\n2-1. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes.\\nIf you are straight, imagine living in a world where heterosexuality was stigmatized. Think about how your life might be different and how you would want other people to treat you. Now consider what your friend faces each and every day, and think about how you can make a difference in their life by being a good friend to them.\\nDespite increasing societal acceptance, LGBTQ people still face issues like workplace and housing discrimination, mental health problems, violence, and judgment from family and friends. Additionally, some LGBTQ people face outright rejection from their families. Being aware of these issues can help you support your friend better.\\n2-2. Educate yourself.\\nUnderstanding the history of the LGBTQ community and the problems they face today can make your friend’s orientation easier to understand and, eventually, to accept. Talking to your friend is a good start. You can also find plenty of educational resources online.\\nOne good resource is the GLBT Historical Society’s website at http://www.glbthistory.org/.\\nAnother good resource is the PFLAG website at https://www.pflag.org/.\\n2-3. Ask questions.\\nIf you don’t understand something, don’t just leave it a mystery. Talking with your friend will help you iron out things you need clarification on. Remember, though, that your friend is just one person and doesn’t speak for all LGBTQ people.\\nIf you ask a question your friend doesn’t know the answer to, try to find an answer together.\\nTake matters into your own hands and learn some things on your own through research. Your friend will most likely really appreciate your effort and interest.\\n2-4. Examine your own feelings about your friend’s orientation.\\nIf you feel uncomfortable or challenged because of your friend’s orientation, take some time to think about why you’re feeling this way. Ask yourself whether your beliefs or attitudes make you feel negative towards LGBTQ people. If so, look for ways to address these issues.\\nFor instance, you could talk to someone else about your feelings or find more information on the issue.\\nRemember that your feelings and beliefs are your own responsibility, not your friend’s.\\nTry not to be angry with yourself. It's okay to be unaware but willing to learn. Just accept your friend as you work through your own feelings.\\n3. Maintaining the Friendship\\n3-1. Accept that you aren’t going to change your friend’s orientation.\\nYour friend is certain about their orientation, so whether or not it’s a choice is irrelevant. If you want to be a good friend, take their word for it. Treat your friend’s orientation as a simple fact, like their height, and avoid using language that suggests it is a choice or lifestyle.\\n3-2. Avoid becoming fixated on your friend’s orientation.\\nYou don’t have to ignore or forget about your friend’s orientation, but don’t make a big deal of it, either. Treat your friend the same way you did before, and keep spending time together and doing the same things as always.\\nRemember that your friend isn’t defined by their orientation or sex life any more than you are defined by yours.\\n3-3. Support your friend.\\nBe there for your friend when they need company or emotional support. Include them in your plans, and offer to help them come out to other people. If someone harasses or bullies your friend, stand up for them.\\nIf your friend is dating someone, meet that person. This shows that you have a genuine interest in your friend’s life.\\n3-4. Trust your friend to respect your friendship.\\nWhen your friend comes out to you, your knee-jerk response might be to worry that they’re sexually interested in you. Try to dismiss this worry. You don’t put the moves on everyone of the opposite gender, so there’s no reason to assume that your friend wants to make a move on you, either.\\nThere is a small chance that your friend may develop feelings for you. If this happens, don’t make a big deal of it. Just say something like, “I’m flattered, but I’m straight.” If they’re a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.\\nDon’t experiment sexually with your friend, even if you’re curious. Your friend may end up feeling used, especially if you aren’t serious. The risk of ruining your friendship isn’t worth it.\\n3-5. Keep your friend’s confidence.\\nDon’t out your friend to anyone else. Ask them who else they have told, and reassure them that they can trust you to keep their orientation confidential.\\nEven if you decide that you can’t maintain the friendship, be respectful of your friend’s privacy and keep the reason to yourself. If anyone asks, just say you drifted apart.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"As the LGBTQ community becomes more visible and accepted in society, more and more people are feeling comfortable enough to “come out of the closet.” Even so, many people still don’t know how to react when someone they care about comes out to them. If you aren’t sure how to accept a friend’s sexual orientation, the main thing to remember is that they are still the same person as before – you just know a little more about them now. You can come to terms with your friend’s orientation by reacting appropriately to the news, empathizing with your friend, and finding ways to keep your friendship strong.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reacting to the News\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay calm.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t freak out, even if you feel shocked or upset. It’s okay if you need a little time to wrap your head around it. Just take a deep breath and remember how you felt about your friend before they confided in you. Your friend is still the same person, so there’s no reason to treat them differently now.\\nTo calm down, close your eyes and silently count to 10. Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. You may even ask your friend for a moment to yourself to listen to music or walk around the block.\\nOften the coming out is a relief because you have both danced around the topic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your friend that you still care about them.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend is probably feeling nervous and uncertain right now, so reassure them that you value their friendship as much as ever. If you know they’re comfortable with being touched, give them a hug to show your acceptance and love.\\nYou might reassure your friend by saying, \\\"I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything. I still care about you just as much as I always have.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thank your friend for trusting you.\", \"描述\": \"Coming out can be scary, especially for people who are just coming to terms with their own sexuality. Tell your friend you’re glad they trusted you enough to confide in you.\\nSay something like, \\\"I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Thanks for trusting in our friendship and sharing this with me. I really admire your honesty and bravery.\\\"\\nAsk about how you can support your friend, like, \\\"I really want to be there for you in any way I can. Is there a way I can support you right now?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid trivializing your friend’s orientation.\", \"描述\": \"Most people do a lot of thinking and soul-searching before they come out to anyone. Your friend is probably quite certain about their orientation, and they’re unlikely to change their mind. Questioning them and showing doubt about the situation may hurt your friend and make them feel like you aren’t taking them seriously.\\nAt all costs, avoid saying things like, “Are you sure?” or “It’s probably just a phase.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Talk about it as long as your friend needs to.\", \"描述\": \"A good conversation can help both you and your friend process your feelings and attitudes. Listen to your friend, and try to understand where they’re coming from. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something, but if your friend seems uncomfortable with a topic, respect their limits.\\nFor example, you might want to ask, “How long have you known you’re gay?” or \\\"What can I do to support you? I'd like to.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t make the conversation about you.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on your friend’s feelings and needs. You might feel shaken up right now, but your friend is still going through a lot more than you are. You’ll have plenty of time later to reflect and work on your own feelings.\\nIt’s okay to share your feelings, especially if your friend asks you to. However, don’t make your feelings the central focus of your conversation.\\nFor instance, if you’re feeling conflicted, you could say, “It will take some time for me to get used to this, but you’re still my best friend. Do you need anything from me right now?”\\nFor example, if they come out as gay and you are the same gender as them, don't automatically assume they have a crush on you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Empathizing with Your Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Put yourself in your friend’s shoes.\", \"描述\": \"If you are straight, imagine living in a world where heterosexuality was stigmatized. Think about how your life might be different and how you would want other people to treat you. Now consider what your friend faces each and every day, and think about how you can make a difference in their life by being a good friend to them.\\nDespite increasing societal acceptance, LGBTQ people still face issues like workplace and housing discrimination, mental health problems, violence, and judgment from family and friends. Additionally, some LGBTQ people face outright rejection from their families. Being aware of these issues can help you support your friend better.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Educate yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding the history of the LGBTQ community and the problems they face today can make your friend’s orientation easier to understand and, eventually, to accept. Talking to your friend is a good start. You can also find plenty of educational resources online.\\nOne good resource is the GLBT Historical Society’s website at http://www.glbthistory.org/.\\nAnother good resource is the PFLAG website at https://www.pflag.org/.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t understand something, don’t just leave it a mystery. Talking with your friend will help you iron out things you need clarification on. Remember, though, that your friend is just one person and doesn’t speak for all LGBTQ people.\\nIf you ask a question your friend doesn’t know the answer to, try to find an answer together.\\nTake matters into your own hands and learn some things on your own through research. Your friend will most likely really appreciate your effort and interest.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Examine your own feelings about your friend’s orientation.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel uncomfortable or challenged because of your friend’s orientation, take some time to think about why you’re feeling this way. Ask yourself whether your beliefs or attitudes make you feel negative towards LGBTQ people. If so, look for ways to address these issues.\\nFor instance, you could talk to someone else about your feelings or find more information on the issue.\\nRemember that your feelings and beliefs are your own responsibility, not your friend’s.\\nTry not to be angry with yourself. It's okay to be unaware but willing to learn. Just accept your friend as you work through your own feelings.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining the Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept that you aren’t going to change your friend’s orientation.\", \"描述\": \"Your friend is certain about their orientation, so whether or not it’s a choice is irrelevant. If you want to be a good friend, take their word for it. Treat your friend’s orientation as a simple fact, like their height, and avoid using language that suggests it is a choice or lifestyle.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid becoming fixated on your friend’s orientation.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to ignore or forget about your friend’s orientation, but don’t make a big deal of it, either. Treat your friend the same way you did before, and keep spending time together and doing the same things as always.\\nRemember that your friend isn’t defined by their orientation or sex life any more than you are defined by yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Support your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Be there for your friend when they need company or emotional support. Include them in your plans, and offer to help them come out to other people. If someone harasses or bullies your friend, stand up for them.\\nIf your friend is dating someone, meet that person. This shows that you have a genuine interest in your friend’s life.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Trust your friend to respect your friendship.\", \"描述\": \"When your friend comes out to you, your knee-jerk response might be to worry that they’re sexually interested in you. Try to dismiss this worry. You don’t put the moves on everyone of the opposite gender, so there’s no reason to assume that your friend wants to make a move on you, either.\\nThere is a small chance that your friend may develop feelings for you. If this happens, don’t make a big deal of it. Just say something like, “I’m flattered, but I’m straight.” If they’re a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.\\nDon’t experiment sexually with your friend, even if you’re curious. Your friend may end up feeling used, especially if you aren’t serious. The risk of ruining your friendship isn’t worth it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your friend’s confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t out your friend to anyone else. Ask them who else they have told, and reassure them that they can trust you to keep their orientation confidential.\\nEven if you decide that you can’t maintain the friendship, be respectful of your friend’s privacy and keep the reason to yourself. If anyone asks, just say you drifted apart.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
142 | How to Accept a Contact Request on Skype on a PC or Mac | 1. On Windows
1-1. Open Skype.
If you’re using Windows 10, click the Start menu at the bottom-left corner of the screen, then click the blue Skype icon. If you have Windows 8 or 8.1, press the ⊞ Win key on the keyboard (or swipe in from the right side of the screen if you’re using a touch screen) and click/tap .
1-2. Sign in to Skype.
If you haven’t yet signed in, type your Skype username and click to enter your password. Once you’ve entered the correct information, click .
If it’s your first time using Skype on this computer, you may see a pop-up window describing a product feature. Click to continue.
1-3. Click the Recent Conversations icon.
It’s the chat bubble icon near the top-left corner of the screen (inside the vertical gray bar). If you have a pending contact request, the icon will also contain a red dot.
1-4. Click the name of the person who sent you a request.
The request appears in the “Recent” section.
1-5. Click Accept.
This adds the person who sent the request to your contacts. You’ll also be added to their contacts.
2. On macOS
2-1. Open Skype.
It’s the blue and white icon with a white “S.” If you have Skype installed, you’ll see it on the Dock, in the Launchpad, or in the Applications folder.
If you haven’t installed Skype on your Mac, see Skype to learn how.
2-2. Sign in to Skype.
Type your Skype username, then click . Enter your password, then click .
If it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.
2-3. Click Recent.
It’s in the left panel, next to “Contacts.” People who’ve requested you as a contact will appear in this list.
2-4. Click the name of the person who sent the request.
You’ll see it in the left panel.
2-5. Click Accept.
It’s in the center panel. This action will add this person to your contacts list, and you’ll be added to theirs. You’ll be able to start messaging each other right away.
3. On the Web
3-1. Go to https://web.skype.com in a web browser.
You can use this web-based version of Skype on any operating system, including macOS, Windows, and Linux.
3-2. Sign in to Skype.
Type your Skype username, click , and then enter your password. Click to access Skype.
If it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.
3-3. Click the name of the person who sent you a request.
This person will appear at the bottom of the contacts list on the left side of the screen. You’ll see the phrase “status unknown” beneath their name.
3-4. Click Accept Request.
It’s in the main (center) panel of Skype for Web. Once you accept the request, you’ll be added to this person’s contact list, and they’ll be added to yours.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. On Windows\\n1-1. Open Skype.\\nIf you’re using Windows 10, click the Start menu at the bottom-left corner of the screen, then click the blue Skype icon. If you have Windows 8 or 8.1, press the ⊞ Win key on the keyboard (or swipe in from the right side of the screen if you’re using a touch screen) and click/tap .\\n1-2. Sign in to Skype.\\nIf you haven’t yet signed in, type your Skype username and click to enter your password. Once you’ve entered the correct information, click .\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype on this computer, you may see a pop-up window describing a product feature. Click to continue.\\n1-3. Click the Recent Conversations icon.\\nIt’s the chat bubble icon near the top-left corner of the screen (inside the vertical gray bar). If you have a pending contact request, the icon will also contain a red dot.\\n1-4. Click the name of the person who sent you a request.\\nThe request appears in the “Recent” section.\\n1-5. Click Accept.\\nThis adds the person who sent the request to your contacts. You’ll also be added to their contacts.\\n2. On macOS\\n2-1. Open Skype.\\nIt’s the blue and white icon with a white “S.” If you have Skype installed, you’ll see it on the Dock, in the Launchpad, or in the Applications folder.\\nIf you haven’t installed Skype on your Mac, see Skype to learn how.\\n2-2. Sign in to Skype.\\nType your Skype username, then click . Enter your password, then click .\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.\\n2-3. Click Recent.\\nIt’s in the left panel, next to “Contacts.” People who’ve requested you as a contact will appear in this list.\\n2-4. Click the name of the person who sent the request.\\nYou’ll see it in the left panel.\\n2-5. Click Accept.\\nIt’s in the center panel. This action will add this person to your contacts list, and you’ll be added to theirs. You’ll be able to start messaging each other right away.\\n3. On the Web\\n3-1. Go to https://web.skype.com in a web browser.\\nYou can use this web-based version of Skype on any operating system, including macOS, Windows, and Linux.\\n3-2. Sign in to Skype.\\nType your Skype username, click , and then enter your password. Click to access Skype.\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.\\n3-3. Click the name of the person who sent you a request.\\nThis person will appear at the bottom of the contacts list on the left side of the screen. You’ll see the phrase “status unknown” beneath their name.\\n3-4. Click Accept Request.\\nIt’s in the main (center) panel of Skype for Web. Once you accept the request, you’ll be added to this person’s contact list, and they’ll be added to yours.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to accept a Skype contact request on a Windows or macOS computer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"On Windows\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Skype.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re using Windows 10, click the Start menu at the bottom-left corner of the screen, then click the blue Skype icon. If you have Windows 8 or 8.1, press the ⊞ Win key on the keyboard (or swipe in from the right side of the screen if you’re using a touch screen) and click/tap .\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Skype.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t yet signed in, type your Skype username and click to enter your password. Once you’ve entered the correct information, click .\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype on this computer, you may see a pop-up window describing a product feature. Click to continue.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the Recent Conversations icon.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the chat bubble icon near the top-left corner of the screen (inside the vertical gray bar). If you have a pending contact request, the icon will also contain a red dot.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the name of the person who sent you a request.\", \"描述\": \"The request appears in the “Recent” section.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Accept.\", \"描述\": \"This adds the person who sent the request to your contacts. You’ll also be added to their contacts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On macOS\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Skype.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the blue and white icon with a white “S.” If you have Skype installed, you’ll see it on the Dock, in the Launchpad, or in the Applications folder.\\nIf you haven’t installed Skype on your Mac, see Skype to learn how.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Skype.\", \"描述\": \"Type your Skype username, then click . Enter your password, then click .\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Recent.\", \"描述\": \"It’s in the left panel, next to “Contacts.” People who’ve requested you as a contact will appear in this list.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the name of the person who sent the request.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll see it in the left panel.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Accept.\", \"描述\": \"It’s in the center panel. This action will add this person to your contacts list, and you’ll be added to theirs. You’ll be able to start messaging each other right away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"On the Web\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://web.skype.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use this web-based version of Skype on any operating system, including macOS, Windows, and Linux.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Skype.\", \"描述\": \"Type your Skype username, click , and then enter your password. Click to access Skype.\\nIf it’s your first time using Skype for Web, you may see a pop-up message welcoming you to the product. Read the message and then click to access Skype.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the name of the person who sent you a request.\", \"描述\": \"This person will appear at the bottom of the contacts list on the left side of the screen. You’ll see the phrase “status unknown” beneath their name.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Accept Request.\", \"描述\": \"It’s in the main (center) panel of Skype for Web. Once you accept the request, you’ll be added to this person’s contact list, and they’ll be added to yours.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
143 | How to Accept a Diploma | 1. Practicing for the Big Day
1-1. Be on time for every graduation-related ceremony.
Give yourself plenty of time to get ready on the big day, and be on time or early for all graduation-related ceremonies. If graduation is being held somewhere other than your school, familiarize yourself with the ceremony’s location and parking situation.
Showing up late is a sign of disrespect to your peers, your school, and yourself.
Even more important than showing respect, being late will just stress you out and make you even more anxious.
1-2. Prepare everything you need in advance of the big day.
Set yourself up for success so you’ll be nice and relaxed when you receive your diploma. Make sure you have your outfit and shoes picked out at least a day or two before graduation day. Keep any tassels, cords, or medallions with your cap and gown.
Make sure the clothes and shoes you choose match the graduation ceremony's dress code.
Hang up your gown so it doesn’t get wrinkled.
If the gown is wrinkled even if you've been hanging it for days, bring it in the bathroom with you when you take a hot shower. The steam will help release the wrinkles.
1-3. Attend your school’s graduation rehearsal.
Don’t skip out on the rehearsal. It’s always best to have an idea of how any ceremony will proceed, and you’ll be much more confident knowing where you need to be and when. Your teachers, professors, deans, or other ceremony organizers will let you know where and how to line up, go over the ceremony’s timing, and inform you about other important details.
You’ll also most likely receive instructions during the rehearsal about how to properly receive a diploma as you shake the presenter’s hand.
If you are really nervous, you can ask someone there, like a teacher or administrator, after the rehearsal for a little extra help.
You might also have the opportunity to practice walking across the stage. Knowing where you have to walk and getting a feel for being on stage can be a lot easier when you don’t have hundreds of people in the audience.
Finally, you’ll receive more specific information about any professional photographers that your school has hired for the event. You’ll find out exactly when you’re getting your picture taken and when you should smile for the camera.
1-4. Practice with your friends or family.
Asking a friend, parent, or other family member for a little help can help you master the technique of receiving a diploma, especially if it’s your first time receiving a diploma. Use a folder or a magazine as a stand-in for the diploma. Pretend that the person helping you is the actual presenter, and practice walking up and shaking hands.
If you’ve received your gown in advance, try practicing with your gown and with whatever shoes you’re wearing to become more comfortable walking.
2. On Graduation Day
2-1. Walk confidently onto the stage.
Stand up straight, keep your chin up, and don’t slouch. Walk with confidence and take pride in your accomplishment. However, mind your footing, and make sure you don't trip on your gown!
Note if you’ve received any instructions about standing up with your row at the same time, or about how to line up and proceed to the stage.
Sometimes schools or universities will have you hold onto a name card or name pronunciation card. Know if this is the procedure, and hand it over to the proper usher when the time comes.
2-2. Look the presenter in the eye.
Whether it’s your dean, school principal, or another distinguished person, show them respect by looking them in the eye. You also want to avoid just looking at the floor or keeping your head down since you’ll probably have family and friends taking pictures of you every step of the way. Do your best to look photogenic:
Remember to smile, or look happy or proud to be where you are.
Try to look at your family and friends when they take your picture.
2-3. Take the diploma with your left hand and shake the presenter’s hand with your right.
Once you approach the presenter, reach out with your left hand to take your diploma. As the presenter hands you the diploma, reach with your right hand to shake hands. Be graceful with your hand motions, and don’t just grab the diploma and hold it at your side.
While you’re on stage, keep the diploma raised up after you’ve accepted it and shaken hands.
Shake your presenter’s hand firmly.
If you wear dangly bracelets on your right hand, consider not wearing them for the ceremony or wearing them on your left hand instead.
Don’t run away after you’ve accepted your diploma. There will most likely be a professional photographer on hand who will take your picture either as you receive your diploma or immediately after shaking the presenter’s hand.
2-4. Continue to watch your step as you walk offstage.
It’s easy to lose focus and feel like you’re all set after you’ve accepted your diploma. However, remember that there’s still an audience out there, and you don’t want to trip and fall or look sloppy. Continue to mind your footing, keep your head up, and walk with confidence.
Again, either professional photographers or family members will be taking your picture, so proudly present the symbol of your accomplishments.
2-5. Know when to change the tassel.
The tassel on your cap symbolizes your transition from student to graduate. Some schools or colleges will have you move your own tassel when you receive your diploma, or have the presenter to do it for you. Sometimes, all graduates proceed with tassel change in unison after everyone’s received their diploma.
Traditionally, the tassel is worn on the right side of the cap before graduating, then is switched to the left side during tassel change.
Your ceremony’s organizers will give you more information on details like tassel change at your graduation rehearsal.
3. Ceremony Etiquette
3-1. Avoid boasting or making a scene onstage.
Some graduates pump their fists while they’re on stage or grab the diploma without shaking the presenter’s hand. Being on stage is certainly a proud moment, and it’s the conclusion to years of hard work. However, this type of celebrating is rude, disrespectful, distracts from other graduates, and takes away from the prestige of the graduation ceremony. There will be plenty of time to jump for joy later.
Remember, the title of the song played at most graduations is “Pomp and Circumstance,” which implies that the ceremony involves dignity, formality, and tradition.
3-2. Return to your seat and let your peers have their moment.
Before and after receiving your diploma, allow your friends and fellow students to have their own proud moments. Don’t be a distraction, and don’t applaud or shout out to your friends when they cross the stage. The person who announces the names of the graduates will most likely direct the audience to withhold applause until the end, so you should respectfully follow suit.
3-3. Let your excitement out when it comes time to throw hats.
Some graduation ceremonies include hat-throwing or drop confetti. That’s when you can scream, shout, and jump for joy. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, and breathe a big sigh of relief.
If you don't want to have to search for your cap after tossing it, you can always just wave your cap in the air.
Keep your diploma on hand after the ceremony to take photos with your friends and family.
While you're celebrating, make sure to keep your diploma in good condition, especially if you receive the actual copy at the ceremony. Don't lose it, and keep it safe so you can proudly display it in a prominent place when you get home.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Practicing for the Big Day\\n1-1. Be on time for every graduation-related ceremony.\\nGive yourself plenty of time to get ready on the big day, and be on time or early for all graduation-related ceremonies. If graduation is being held somewhere other than your school, familiarize yourself with the ceremony’s location and parking situation.\\nShowing up late is a sign of disrespect to your peers, your school, and yourself.\\nEven more important than showing respect, being late will just stress you out and make you even more anxious.\\n1-2. Prepare everything you need in advance of the big day.\\nSet yourself up for success so you’ll be nice and relaxed when you receive your diploma. Make sure you have your outfit and shoes picked out at least a day or two before graduation day. Keep any tassels, cords, or medallions with your cap and gown.\\nMake sure the clothes and shoes you choose match the graduation ceremony's dress code.\\nHang up your gown so it doesn’t get wrinkled.\\nIf the gown is wrinkled even if you've been hanging it for days, bring it in the bathroom with you when you take a hot shower. The steam will help release the wrinkles.\\n1-3. Attend your school’s graduation rehearsal.\\nDon’t skip out on the rehearsal. It’s always best to have an idea of how any ceremony will proceed, and you’ll be much more confident knowing where you need to be and when. Your teachers, professors, deans, or other ceremony organizers will let you know where and how to line up, go over the ceremony’s timing, and inform you about other important details.\\nYou’ll also most likely receive instructions during the rehearsal about how to properly receive a diploma as you shake the presenter’s hand.\\nIf you are really nervous, you can ask someone there, like a teacher or administrator, after the rehearsal for a little extra help.\\nYou might also have the opportunity to practice walking across the stage. Knowing where you have to walk and getting a feel for being on stage can be a lot easier when you don’t have hundreds of people in the audience.\\nFinally, you’ll receive more specific information about any professional photographers that your school has hired for the event. You’ll find out exactly when you’re getting your picture taken and when you should smile for the camera.\\n1-4. Practice with your friends or family.\\nAsking a friend, parent, or other family member for a little help can help you master the technique of receiving a diploma, especially if it’s your first time receiving a diploma. Use a folder or a magazine as a stand-in for the diploma. Pretend that the person helping you is the actual presenter, and practice walking up and shaking hands.\\nIf you’ve received your gown in advance, try practicing with your gown and with whatever shoes you’re wearing to become more comfortable walking.\\n2. On Graduation Day\\n2-1. Walk confidently onto the stage.\\nStand up straight, keep your chin up, and don’t slouch. Walk with confidence and take pride in your accomplishment. However, mind your footing, and make sure you don't trip on your gown!\\nNote if you’ve received any instructions about standing up with your row at the same time, or about how to line up and proceed to the stage.\\nSometimes schools or universities will have you hold onto a name card or name pronunciation card. Know if this is the procedure, and hand it over to the proper usher when the time comes.\\n2-2. Look the presenter in the eye.\\nWhether it’s your dean, school principal, or another distinguished person, show them respect by looking them in the eye. You also want to avoid just looking at the floor or keeping your head down since you’ll probably have family and friends taking pictures of you every step of the way. Do your best to look photogenic:\\nRemember to smile, or look happy or proud to be where you are.\\nTry to look at your family and friends when they take your picture.\\n2-3. Take the diploma with your left hand and shake the presenter’s hand with your right.\\nOnce you approach the presenter, reach out with your left hand to take your diploma. As the presenter hands you the diploma, reach with your right hand to shake hands. Be graceful with your hand motions, and don’t just grab the diploma and hold it at your side.\\nWhile you’re on stage, keep the diploma raised up after you’ve accepted it and shaken hands.\\nShake your presenter’s hand firmly.\\nIf you wear dangly bracelets on your right hand, consider not wearing them for the ceremony or wearing them on your left hand instead.\\nDon’t run away after you’ve accepted your diploma. There will most likely be a professional photographer on hand who will take your picture either as you receive your diploma or immediately after shaking the presenter’s hand.\\n2-4. Continue to watch your step as you walk offstage.\\nIt’s easy to lose focus and feel like you’re all set after you’ve accepted your diploma. However, remember that there’s still an audience out there, and you don’t want to trip and fall or look sloppy. Continue to mind your footing, keep your head up, and walk with confidence.\\nAgain, either professional photographers or family members will be taking your picture, so proudly present the symbol of your accomplishments.\\n2-5. Know when to change the tassel.\\nThe tassel on your cap symbolizes your transition from student to graduate. Some schools or colleges will have you move your own tassel when you receive your diploma, or have the presenter to do it for you. Sometimes, all graduates proceed with tassel change in unison after everyone’s received their diploma.\\nTraditionally, the tassel is worn on the right side of the cap before graduating, then is switched to the left side during tassel change.\\nYour ceremony’s organizers will give you more information on details like tassel change at your graduation rehearsal.\\n3. Ceremony Etiquette\\n3-1. Avoid boasting or making a scene onstage.\\nSome graduates pump their fists while they’re on stage or grab the diploma without shaking the presenter’s hand. Being on stage is certainly a proud moment, and it’s the conclusion to years of hard work. However, this type of celebrating is rude, disrespectful, distracts from other graduates, and takes away from the prestige of the graduation ceremony. There will be plenty of time to jump for joy later.\\nRemember, the title of the song played at most graduations is “Pomp and Circumstance,” which implies that the ceremony involves dignity, formality, and tradition.\\n3-2. Return to your seat and let your peers have their moment.\\nBefore and after receiving your diploma, allow your friends and fellow students to have their own proud moments. Don’t be a distraction, and don’t applaud or shout out to your friends when they cross the stage. The person who announces the names of the graduates will most likely direct the audience to withhold applause until the end, so you should respectfully follow suit.\\n3-3. Let your excitement out when it comes time to throw hats.\\nSome graduation ceremonies include hat-throwing or drop confetti. That’s when you can scream, shout, and jump for joy. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, and breathe a big sigh of relief.\\nIf you don't want to have to search for your cap after tossing it, you can always just wave your cap in the air.\\nKeep your diploma on hand after the ceremony to take photos with your friends and family.\\nWhile you're celebrating, make sure to keep your diploma in good condition, especially if you receive the actual copy at the ceremony. Don't lose it, and keep it safe so you can proudly display it in a prominent place when you get home.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you’re graduating from middle school, high school, college, vocational school or university, accepting your certificate, diploma, or degree is a monumental and proud moment. It’s natural to be a little anxious about it. You’re in front of a big crowd, you typically get your picture taken, and it’s easy to look clumsy as you take your diploma and shake your presenter’s hand at the same time. While going to your school’s graduation rehearsal and practicing a bit can certainly help, it’s most important to relax and simply take pride in your achievement.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practicing for the Big Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be on time for every graduation-related ceremony.\", \"描述\": \"Give yourself plenty of time to get ready on the big day, and be on time or early for all graduation-related ceremonies. If graduation is being held somewhere other than your school, familiarize yourself with the ceremony’s location and parking situation.\\nShowing up late is a sign of disrespect to your peers, your school, and yourself.\\nEven more important than showing respect, being late will just stress you out and make you even more anxious.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Prepare everything you need in advance of the big day.\", \"描述\": \"Set yourself up for success so you’ll be nice and relaxed when you receive your diploma. Make sure you have your outfit and shoes picked out at least a day or two before graduation day. Keep any tassels, cords, or medallions with your cap and gown.\\nMake sure the clothes and shoes you choose match the graduation ceremony's dress code.\\nHang up your gown so it doesn’t get wrinkled.\\nIf the gown is wrinkled even if you've been hanging it for days, bring it in the bathroom with you when you take a hot shower. The steam will help release the wrinkles.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Attend your school’s graduation rehearsal.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t skip out on the rehearsal. It’s always best to have an idea of how any ceremony will proceed, and you’ll be much more confident knowing where you need to be and when. Your teachers, professors, deans, or other ceremony organizers will let you know where and how to line up, go over the ceremony’s timing, and inform you about other important details.\\nYou’ll also most likely receive instructions during the rehearsal about how to properly receive a diploma as you shake the presenter’s hand.\\nIf you are really nervous, you can ask someone there, like a teacher or administrator, after the rehearsal for a little extra help.\\nYou might also have the opportunity to practice walking across the stage. Knowing where you have to walk and getting a feel for being on stage can be a lot easier when you don’t have hundreds of people in the audience.\\nFinally, you’ll receive more specific information about any professional photographers that your school has hired for the event. You’ll find out exactly when you’re getting your picture taken and when you should smile for the camera.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Practice with your friends or family.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a friend, parent, or other family member for a little help can help you master the technique of receiving a diploma, especially if it’s your first time receiving a diploma. Use a folder or a magazine as a stand-in for the diploma. Pretend that the person helping you is the actual presenter, and practice walking up and shaking hands.\\nIf you’ve received your gown in advance, try practicing with your gown and with whatever shoes you’re wearing to become more comfortable walking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On Graduation Day\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk confidently onto the stage.\", \"描述\": \"Stand up straight, keep your chin up, and don’t slouch. Walk with confidence and take pride in your accomplishment. However, mind your footing, and make sure you don't trip on your gown!\\nNote if you’ve received any instructions about standing up with your row at the same time, or about how to line up and proceed to the stage.\\nSometimes schools or universities will have you hold onto a name card or name pronunciation card. Know if this is the procedure, and hand it over to the proper usher when the time comes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look the presenter in the eye.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it’s your dean, school principal, or another distinguished person, show them respect by looking them in the eye. You also want to avoid just looking at the floor or keeping your head down since you’ll probably have family and friends taking pictures of you every step of the way. Do your best to look photogenic:\\nRemember to smile, or look happy or proud to be where you are.\\nTry to look at your family and friends when they take your picture.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the diploma with your left hand and shake the presenter’s hand with your right.\", \"描述\": \"Once you approach the presenter, reach out with your left hand to take your diploma. As the presenter hands you the diploma, reach with your right hand to shake hands. Be graceful with your hand motions, and don’t just grab the diploma and hold it at your side.\\nWhile you’re on stage, keep the diploma raised up after you’ve accepted it and shaken hands.\\nShake your presenter’s hand firmly.\\nIf you wear dangly bracelets on your right hand, consider not wearing them for the ceremony or wearing them on your left hand instead.\\nDon’t run away after you’ve accepted your diploma. There will most likely be a professional photographer on hand who will take your picture either as you receive your diploma or immediately after shaking the presenter’s hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Continue to watch your step as you walk offstage.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to lose focus and feel like you’re all set after you’ve accepted your diploma. However, remember that there’s still an audience out there, and you don’t want to trip and fall or look sloppy. Continue to mind your footing, keep your head up, and walk with confidence.\\nAgain, either professional photographers or family members will be taking your picture, so proudly present the symbol of your accomplishments.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Know when to change the tassel.\", \"描述\": \"The tassel on your cap symbolizes your transition from student to graduate. Some schools or colleges will have you move your own tassel when you receive your diploma, or have the presenter to do it for you. Sometimes, all graduates proceed with tassel change in unison after everyone’s received their diploma.\\nTraditionally, the tassel is worn on the right side of the cap before graduating, then is switched to the left side during tassel change.\\nYour ceremony’s organizers will give you more information on details like tassel change at your graduation rehearsal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ceremony Etiquette\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid boasting or making a scene onstage.\", \"描述\": \"Some graduates pump their fists while they’re on stage or grab the diploma without shaking the presenter’s hand. Being on stage is certainly a proud moment, and it’s the conclusion to years of hard work. However, this type of celebrating is rude, disrespectful, distracts from other graduates, and takes away from the prestige of the graduation ceremony. There will be plenty of time to jump for joy later.\\nRemember, the title of the song played at most graduations is “Pomp and Circumstance,” which implies that the ceremony involves dignity, formality, and tradition.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Return to your seat and let your peers have their moment.\", \"描述\": \"Before and after receiving your diploma, allow your friends and fellow students to have their own proud moments. Don’t be a distraction, and don’t applaud or shout out to your friends when they cross the stage. The person who announces the names of the graduates will most likely direct the audience to withhold applause until the end, so you should respectfully follow suit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let your excitement out when it comes time to throw hats.\", \"描述\": \"Some graduation ceremonies include hat-throwing or drop confetti. That’s when you can scream, shout, and jump for joy. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, and breathe a big sigh of relief.\\nIf you don't want to have to search for your cap after tossing it, you can always just wave your cap in the air.\\nKeep your diploma on hand after the ceremony to take photos with your friends and family.\\nWhile you're celebrating, make sure to keep your diploma in good condition, especially if you receive the actual copy at the ceremony. Don't lose it, and keep it safe so you can proudly display it in a prominent place when you get home.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
144 | How to Accept a Friend Request on Xbox One | 1. Accepting a Friend Request from an Xbox 360
1-1. Go to https://xboxlive.com.
You can use either a desktop or mobile web browser to do this.
You'll be able to see all your pending friend requests from people using Xbox 360.
1-2. Sign in to your MS account.
This is the account you're using on your Xbox One.
1-3. Hover your cursor over your account name.
You'll see this in the upper right corner of the web page.
1-4. Click Friends.
You'll see this near the middle of the drop-down menu.
You'll see all your pending Xbox 360 friend requests immediately.
1-5. Click Accept.
You'll see that you can or the Xbox 360 friend request.
You will show up as a friend on that Xbox 360's friends list.
2. Adding Friends and Followers on Xbox One
2-1. Navigate to the tile on the left and press A.
This should display a picture of your avatar and how many of your friends are online.
If you don't see this, make sure you're under the tab.
2-2. Navigate to Find someone and press A.
You'll be able to search for a gamertag to add to your following list so you'll get updates from them regularly. If you're both following each other, you're added as friends.
You'll see the updates from people you're following on the right side of the page under "Feed."
2-3. Navigate to a friend's name and press the menu button.
You can find a person from your feed, in your followers list, or under and the menu button is on the right side of your controller, next to .
When you select their name, a new window with new options will pop up.
2-4. Navigate to Friend and press A.
The menu will expand.
2-5. Navigate to Add to Favorites and press A.
This will add that person to the list under so you can find them quickly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting a Friend Request from an Xbox 360\\n1-1. Go to https://xboxlive.com.\\nYou can use either a desktop or mobile web browser to do this.\\nYou'll be able to see all your pending friend requests from people using Xbox 360.\\n1-2. Sign in to your MS account.\\nThis is the account you're using on your Xbox One.\\n1-3. Hover your cursor over your account name.\\nYou'll see this in the upper right corner of the web page.\\n1-4. Click Friends.\\nYou'll see this near the middle of the drop-down menu.\\nYou'll see all your pending Xbox 360 friend requests immediately.\\n1-5. Click Accept.\\nYou'll see that you can or the Xbox 360 friend request.\\nYou will show up as a friend on that Xbox 360's friends list.\\n2. Adding Friends and Followers on Xbox One\\n2-1. Navigate to the tile on the left and press A.\\nThis should display a picture of your avatar and how many of your friends are online.\\nIf you don't see this, make sure you're under the tab.\\n2-2. Navigate to Find someone and press A.\\nYou'll be able to search for a gamertag to add to your following list so you'll get updates from them regularly. If you're both following each other, you're added as friends.\\nYou'll see the updates from people you're following on the right side of the page under \\\"Feed.\\\"\\n2-3. Navigate to a friend's name and press the menu button.\\nYou can find a person from your feed, in your followers list, or under and the menu button is on the right side of your controller, next to .\\nWhen you select their name, a new window with new options will pop up.\\n2-4. Navigate to Friend and press A.\\nThe menu will expand.\\n2-5. Navigate to Add to Favorites and press A.\\nThis will add that person to the list under so you can find them quickly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Since sending friend requests isn't a feature on Xbox One, but popular on Xbox 360, adding friends can be a difficult feat. This wikiHow will teach you how to accept a friend request from someone using an Xbox 360 if you're using an Xbox One as well as how to add a person to follow on Xbox One.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting a Friend Request from an Xbox 360\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://xboxlive.com.\", \"描述\": \"You can use either a desktop or mobile web browser to do this.\\nYou'll be able to see all your pending friend requests from people using Xbox 360.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your MS account.\", \"描述\": \"This is the account you're using on your Xbox One.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hover your cursor over your account name.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the upper right corner of the web page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Friends.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this near the middle of the drop-down menu.\\nYou'll see all your pending Xbox 360 friend requests immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Accept.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see that you can or the Xbox 360 friend request.\\nYou will show up as a friend on that Xbox 360's friends list.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adding Friends and Followers on Xbox One\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Navigate to the tile on the left and press A.\", \"描述\": \"This should display a picture of your avatar and how many of your friends are online.\\nIf you don't see this, make sure you're under the tab.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Navigate to Find someone and press A.\", \"描述\": \"You'll be able to search for a gamertag to add to your following list so you'll get updates from them regularly. If you're both following each other, you're added as friends.\\nYou'll see the updates from people you're following on the right side of the page under \\\"Feed.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Navigate to a friend's name and press the menu button.\", \"描述\": \"You can find a person from your feed, in your followers list, or under and the menu button is on the right side of your controller, next to .\\nWhen you select their name, a new window with new options will pop up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Navigate to Friend and press A.\", \"描述\": \"The menu will expand.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Navigate to Add to Favorites and press A.\", \"描述\": \"This will add that person to the list under so you can find them quickly.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
145 | How to Accept a Google Meet Invite | 1. On a Computer
1-1. Go to the invitation.
Find the Google Chat invitation you were sent in your email or wherever else the invitation was shared with you.
1-2. Click the invite link.
On the Meet invitation, you will see a link to join the video call. Click on the invite link.
1-3. Join with a code (optional).
If clicking on the link does not work, you can copy the code from the Meet invitation and paste it into the box on the Google Meet website. Once you have entered the code into this box, press the blue button to the right of the code to continue.
Be sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.
1-4. Join the call.
Clicking on a link or entering a code will open the video call in a new tab on your web browser. On this page, you will be able to turn your camera and microphone on and off before entering the call. Once you are ready, press to enter the call.
2. On a Mobile Device
2-1. Go to the invitation.
On your mobile device, go to your email or text messages and find the Google Meet invitation that you were sent.
2-2. Click the invite link.
Once you have found the Meet invitation, you should see a link to join the video call. Click on this link.
2-3. Join with a code (optional).
If clicking the link does not work, you can copy the meeting code from the invitation and paste it in the Meet app where it says at the top of the screen. Once you have entered the code, press to enter the video call.
Be sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.
2-4. Join the call.
Clicking on the link or entering a code will open the call invite in the Meet app. On this screen, you will see the options to turn on/off your camera and microphone before joining the call. Once you are ready to join the call, press the blue button.
You can join the video call on a mobile device with either the Meet or Gmail app. You will need to have one of these apps downloaded to join the video call from a mobile device.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. On a Computer\\n1-1. Go to the invitation.\\nFind the Google Chat invitation you were sent in your email or wherever else the invitation was shared with you.\\n1-2. Click the invite link.\\nOn the Meet invitation, you will see a link to join the video call. Click on the invite link.\\n1-3. Join with a code (optional).\\nIf clicking on the link does not work, you can copy the code from the Meet invitation and paste it into the box on the Google Meet website. Once you have entered the code into this box, press the blue button to the right of the code to continue.\\nBe sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.\\n1-4. Join the call.\\nClicking on a link or entering a code will open the video call in a new tab on your web browser. On this page, you will be able to turn your camera and microphone on and off before entering the call. Once you are ready, press to enter the call.\\n2. On a Mobile Device\\n2-1. Go to the invitation.\\nOn your mobile device, go to your email or text messages and find the Google Meet invitation that you were sent.\\n2-2. Click the invite link.\\nOnce you have found the Meet invitation, you should see a link to join the video call. Click on this link.\\n2-3. Join with a code (optional).\\nIf clicking the link does not work, you can copy the meeting code from the invitation and paste it in the Meet app where it says at the top of the screen. Once you have entered the code, press to enter the video call.\\nBe sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.\\n2-4. Join the call.\\nClicking on the link or entering a code will open the call invite in the Meet app. On this screen, you will see the options to turn on/off your camera and microphone before joining the call. Once you are ready to join the call, press the blue button.\\nYou can join the video call on a mobile device with either the Meet or Gmail app. You will need to have one of these apps downloaded to join the video call from a mobile device.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"There's a party on Google Meet, and you're invited! If you were just sent a link to a video call on Google Meet, you need to know how to accept the invite in order to join the call. This wikiHow article will teach you how to accept a Google Meet invitation with a couple of different methods.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"On a Computer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"Find the Google Chat invitation you were sent in your email or wherever else the invitation was shared with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the invite link.\", \"描述\": \"On the Meet invitation, you will see a link to join the video call. Click on the invite link.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join with a code (optional).\", \"描述\": \"If clicking on the link does not work, you can copy the code from the Meet invitation and paste it into the box on the Google Meet website. Once you have entered the code into this box, press the blue button to the right of the code to continue.\\nBe sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join the call.\", \"描述\": \"Clicking on a link or entering a code will open the video call in a new tab on your web browser. On this page, you will be able to turn your camera and microphone on and off before entering the call. Once you are ready, press to enter the call.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On a Mobile Device\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"On your mobile device, go to your email or text messages and find the Google Meet invitation that you were sent.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the invite link.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have found the Meet invitation, you should see a link to join the video call. Click on this link.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Join with a code (optional).\", \"描述\": \"If clicking the link does not work, you can copy the meeting code from the invitation and paste it in the Meet app where it says at the top of the screen. Once you have entered the code, press to enter the video call.\\nBe sure that you copied the entire code, or else you will not be able to join the meeting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Join the call.\", \"描述\": \"Clicking on the link or entering a code will open the call invite in the Meet app. On this screen, you will see the options to turn on/off your camera and microphone before joining the call. Once you are ready to join the call, press the blue button.\\nYou can join the video call on a mobile device with either the Meet or Gmail app. You will need to have one of these apps downloaded to join the video call from a mobile device.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
146 | How to Accept a Job Offer over the Phone | 1. Asking the Tough Questions
1-1. Check out the details of the offer before accepting.
Even if you want to accept the offer as soon as you get it over a phone call, make sure you know what you're getting into. If you need to, ask questions of the person making the offer, such as what your salary will be, what benefits you'll receive, and what time off you'll have.
If any of this information comes as a surprise to you, you may want to hold off on accepting. Ask for more information in writing so you can follow up with questions.
1-2. Discuss your role and responsibilities if they're not clear to you.
Make sure you know exactly what your day-to-day role will look like, as well as where your job overlaps with other people. Talk about how much you'll be expected to work individually and on a team.
For instance, you might say, "I'd like to know a bit more about my role in the company. What exactly would my responsibilities be? How does my position intersect with others' in the company? How much work is cooperative and how much is individual?"
1-3. Request information about your job title and advancement.
It's important to know where you're entering the company. If you are starting out at a lower position than you expected, you may want to negotiate a higher position, as that will be harder to change once you accept. In addition, check how and when you can advance once you accept the position.
For example, you may ask, "What will my starting title be? Can that be changed?"
As far as advancement, you could say, "How does advancement work from this position? When will I have advancement opportunities?"
1-4. Be ready to commit to the company.
If you want to accept as soon as the phone call comes in, then you should be ready to commit completely. Do your homework on the company and benefits to make absolutely sure want that particular job.
If you accept and back out later, that looks much worse than waiting a few days to accept.
Also, bear in mind you'll have less room to negotiate after accepting the offer.
1-5. Keep in mind that, once you accept, you likely won't be able to negotiate.
The real value of waiting a day or two, or getting the offer in writing before accepting, is you have a bit of breathing room to think and consider whether or not you want to negotiate your salary, benefits, or position. Once you accept the offer, most companies will not engage in negotiation with you. However, if you think the offer is fair, there's no reason not to accept!
2. Accepting When the Phone Call Comes In
2-1. Say you accept the offer.
If you're positive you're ready to accept the job, all you need to do is politely tell them yes. Try to be enthusiastic when accepting the offer, as you want the company to realize you're excited to be working there.
For example, you might say, "Thank you very much for offering me a position. I'd like to accept the offer with your company, and I look forward to working with you."
2-2. Request the offer in writing.
Even if you accept immediately, always ask for the offer in writing, too. That way, you have all the details to refer to. Plus, offers in writing are more binding than verbal offers.
You might say, "Thanks again for the offer. Can I get the details in writing so I can review them more thoroughly?"
2-3. Follow up with a written agreement.
Even if you verbally accept the offer, you need to do it in writing, too. You can send a letter or an email, depending on your preference, but you just want to make sure that you have it all down on paper.
For instance, you might write, "Dear Mr. Roberts, Thank you again for offering me a position at Mechanics Forever. I appreciate the offer, and I would like to formally accept it in writing. Let me know if there is anything further I need to do."
2-4. Ask who you can follow up with on any questions you may have.
Once you get your offer in writing, you're likely to have questions. Your potential boss may not have the answers, so check in to see who you can call or email with questions about your benefits.
You might say, "Who can I check in with if I have questions about my benefits?"
3. Delaying to Ensure You Get the Best Deal
3-1. Express your enthusiasm about the potential position.
While you're not yet accepting the position, you do want to show you're thankful and excited. Tell the person you are enthusiastic about possibly working together to impress your prospective employer.
For example, you might say, "Thank you so much for the offer! I'm excited about the possibility of working together."
3-2. Ask the company to send you the offer in writing.
That way, you'll be able to review the terms and benefits at your leisure. Plus, a written offer is firmer than a verbal offer, so you are asking them to make a commitment to the offer.
For instance, say, "I appreciate you making this offer to me over the phone, but would you mind sending me a written offer so I can review it in more detail?"
Also, make sure to ask who you should follow up with if you have questions.
3-3. Request a deadline for your response.
Most companies are fine with you taking a day or two to review the offer and ensure it's the best option for you. Just ask the person over the phone when they need to hear back from you so you don't lose out on an opportunity by not responding in time.
For instance, you could say, "When would you like an answer by?"
You could also ask for a specific deadline, such as "Can I get back to you on Tuesday?"
If you need to wait to hear back from another company, you can always ask for an extension on the deadline if you need one. You might call and say, "I really appreciate this offer, but I'm wondering if you'd give me another week to mull it over? I am waiting to hear back from another company, and I want to make sure that I am the best fit for this position."
3-4. Negotiate salary and other perks.
If the salary isn't quite what you were expecting, use research to back up a counteroffer. Check the market value for someone of your experience and background to get a typical salary. Mention that information when trying to negotiate a higher salary.
For example, you might say, "I appreciate your offer. I would like to make a counteroffer of $45,000. After reviewing the average salary for this position in the area, I feel that is a fair salary for someone with my education and experience."
Be willing to negotiate other perks if they won't budge on salary. For instance, maybe you could ask for a hiring bonus or for extra vacation days instead of the salary bump.
If you're not sure where to look, try the Bureau Labor of Statistics as a starting point.
3-5. Commit verbally and in writing when you're ready.
Once you decide you want the position, call the company to let them know you want the job. At the same time, send an acceptance letter or email to them, as well.
Call and say, "Thank you for your generous offer. I would like to accept the position with Mechanics Forever. I have also sent a written acceptance by email."
If you'd like to refuse the position, also do it politely: "Thank you for your offer, but I don't think this position is the right fit for me at the moment." Also follow up with an email so they have it in writing.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:28",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking the Tough Questions\\n1-1. Check out the details of the offer before accepting.\\nEven if you want to accept the offer as soon as you get it over a phone call, make sure you know what you're getting into. If you need to, ask questions of the person making the offer, such as what your salary will be, what benefits you'll receive, and what time off you'll have.\\nIf any of this information comes as a surprise to you, you may want to hold off on accepting. Ask for more information in writing so you can follow up with questions.\\n1-2. Discuss your role and responsibilities if they're not clear to you.\\nMake sure you know exactly what your day-to-day role will look like, as well as where your job overlaps with other people. Talk about how much you'll be expected to work individually and on a team.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"I'd like to know a bit more about my role in the company. What exactly would my responsibilities be? How does my position intersect with others' in the company? How much work is cooperative and how much is individual?\\\"\\n1-3. Request information about your job title and advancement.\\nIt's important to know where you're entering the company. If you are starting out at a lower position than you expected, you may want to negotiate a higher position, as that will be harder to change once you accept. In addition, check how and when you can advance once you accept the position.\\nFor example, you may ask, \\\"What will my starting title be? Can that be changed?\\\"\\nAs far as advancement, you could say, \\\"How does advancement work from this position? When will I have advancement opportunities?\\\"\\n1-4. Be ready to commit to the company.\\nIf you want to accept as soon as the phone call comes in, then you should be ready to commit completely. Do your homework on the company and benefits to make absolutely sure want that particular job.\\nIf you accept and back out later, that looks much worse than waiting a few days to accept.\\nAlso, bear in mind you'll have less room to negotiate after accepting the offer.\\n1-5. Keep in mind that, once you accept, you likely won't be able to negotiate.\\nThe real value of waiting a day or two, or getting the offer in writing before accepting, is you have a bit of breathing room to think and consider whether or not you want to negotiate your salary, benefits, or position. Once you accept the offer, most companies will not engage in negotiation with you. However, if you think the offer is fair, there's no reason not to accept!\\n2. Accepting When the Phone Call Comes In\\n2-1. Say you accept the offer.\\nIf you're positive you're ready to accept the job, all you need to do is politely tell them yes. Try to be enthusiastic when accepting the offer, as you want the company to realize you're excited to be working there.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Thank you very much for offering me a position. I'd like to accept the offer with your company, and I look forward to working with you.\\\"\\n2-2. Request the offer in writing.\\nEven if you accept immediately, always ask for the offer in writing, too. That way, you have all the details to refer to. Plus, offers in writing are more binding than verbal offers.\\nYou might say, \\\"Thanks again for the offer. Can I get the details in writing so I can review them more thoroughly?\\\"\\n2-3. Follow up with a written agreement.\\nEven if you verbally accept the offer, you need to do it in writing, too. You can send a letter or an email, depending on your preference, but you just want to make sure that you have it all down on paper.\\nFor instance, you might write, \\\"Dear Mr. Roberts, Thank you again for offering me a position at Mechanics Forever. I appreciate the offer, and I would like to formally accept it in writing. Let me know if there is anything further I need to do.\\\"\\n2-4. Ask who you can follow up with on any questions you may have.\\nOnce you get your offer in writing, you're likely to have questions. Your potential boss may not have the answers, so check in to see who you can call or email with questions about your benefits.\\nYou might say, \\\"Who can I check in with if I have questions about my benefits?\\\"\\n3. Delaying to Ensure You Get the Best Deal\\n3-1. Express your enthusiasm about the potential position.\\nWhile you're not yet accepting the position, you do want to show you're thankful and excited. Tell the person you are enthusiastic about possibly working together to impress your prospective employer.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Thank you so much for the offer! I'm excited about the possibility of working together.\\\"\\n3-2. Ask the company to send you the offer in writing.\\nThat way, you'll be able to review the terms and benefits at your leisure. Plus, a written offer is firmer than a verbal offer, so you are asking them to make a commitment to the offer.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I appreciate you making this offer to me over the phone, but would you mind sending me a written offer so I can review it in more detail?\\\"\\nAlso, make sure to ask who you should follow up with if you have questions.\\n3-3. Request a deadline for your response.\\nMost companies are fine with you taking a day or two to review the offer and ensure it's the best option for you. Just ask the person over the phone when they need to hear back from you so you don't lose out on an opportunity by not responding in time.\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"When would you like an answer by?\\\"\\nYou could also ask for a specific deadline, such as \\\"Can I get back to you on Tuesday?\\\"\\nIf you need to wait to hear back from another company, you can always ask for an extension on the deadline if you need one. You might call and say, \\\"I really appreciate this offer, but I'm wondering if you'd give me another week to mull it over? I am waiting to hear back from another company, and I want to make sure that I am the best fit for this position.\\\"\\n3-4. Negotiate salary and other perks.\\nIf the salary isn't quite what you were expecting, use research to back up a counteroffer. Check the market value for someone of your experience and background to get a typical salary. Mention that information when trying to negotiate a higher salary.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"I appreciate your offer. I would like to make a counteroffer of $45,000. After reviewing the average salary for this position in the area, I feel that is a fair salary for someone with my education and experience.\\\"\\nBe willing to negotiate other perks if they won't budge on salary. For instance, maybe you could ask for a hiring bonus or for extra vacation days instead of the salary bump.\\nIf you're not sure where to look, try the Bureau Labor of Statistics as a starting point.\\n3-5. Commit verbally and in writing when you're ready.\\nOnce you decide you want the position, call the company to let them know you want the job. At the same time, send an acceptance letter or email to them, as well.\\nCall and say, \\\"Thank you for your generous offer. I would like to accept the position with Mechanics Forever. I have also sent a written acceptance by email.\\\"\\nIf you'd like to refuse the position, also do it politely: \\\"Thank you for your offer, but I don't think this position is the right fit for me at the moment.\\\" Also follow up with an email so they have it in writing.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting a job offer in any form is exciting, especially if it's been a long, hard search for you! However, before you accept any offer, always make sure to do your homework. If you want to accept the offer the moment the phone call comes in, try to check up on the company and benefits beforehand. A better option may be to delay a day or two just so you can get a written offer and ensure you have the benefits you want. Then you can call the company back to accept the offer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking the Tough Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check out the details of the offer before accepting.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you want to accept the offer as soon as you get it over a phone call, make sure you know what you're getting into. If you need to, ask questions of the person making the offer, such as what your salary will be, what benefits you'll receive, and what time off you'll have.\\nIf any of this information comes as a surprise to you, you may want to hold off on accepting. Ask for more information in writing so you can follow up with questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss your role and responsibilities if they're not clear to you.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you know exactly what your day-to-day role will look like, as well as where your job overlaps with other people. Talk about how much you'll be expected to work individually and on a team.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"I'd like to know a bit more about my role in the company. What exactly would my responsibilities be? How does my position intersect with others' in the company? How much work is cooperative and how much is individual?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request information about your job title and advancement.\", \"描述\": \"It's important to know where you're entering the company. If you are starting out at a lower position than you expected, you may want to negotiate a higher position, as that will be harder to change once you accept. In addition, check how and when you can advance once you accept the position.\\nFor example, you may ask, \\\"What will my starting title be? Can that be changed?\\\"\\nAs far as advancement, you could say, \\\"How does advancement work from this position? When will I have advancement opportunities?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be ready to commit to the company.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to accept as soon as the phone call comes in, then you should be ready to commit completely. Do your homework on the company and benefits to make absolutely sure want that particular job.\\nIf you accept and back out later, that looks much worse than waiting a few days to accept.\\nAlso, bear in mind you'll have less room to negotiate after accepting the offer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep in mind that, once you accept, you likely won't be able to negotiate.\", \"描述\": \"The real value of waiting a day or two, or getting the offer in writing before accepting, is you have a bit of breathing room to think and consider whether or not you want to negotiate your salary, benefits, or position. Once you accept the offer, most companies will not engage in negotiation with you. However, if you think the offer is fair, there's no reason not to accept!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting When the Phone Call Comes In\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say you accept the offer.\", \"描述\": \"If you're positive you're ready to accept the job, all you need to do is politely tell them yes. Try to be enthusiastic when accepting the offer, as you want the company to realize you're excited to be working there.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Thank you very much for offering me a position. I'd like to accept the offer with your company, and I look forward to working with you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Request the offer in writing.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you accept immediately, always ask for the offer in writing, too. That way, you have all the details to refer to. Plus, offers in writing are more binding than verbal offers.\\nYou might say, \\\"Thanks again for the offer. Can I get the details in writing so I can review them more thoroughly?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Follow up with a written agreement.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you verbally accept the offer, you need to do it in writing, too. You can send a letter or an email, depending on your preference, but you just want to make sure that you have it all down on paper.\\nFor instance, you might write, \\\"Dear Mr. Roberts, Thank you again for offering me a position at Mechanics Forever. I appreciate the offer, and I would like to formally accept it in writing. Let me know if there is anything further I need to do.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask who you can follow up with on any questions you may have.\", \"描述\": \"Once you get your offer in writing, you're likely to have questions. Your potential boss may not have the answers, so check in to see who you can call or email with questions about your benefits.\\nYou might say, \\\"Who can I check in with if I have questions about my benefits?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Delaying to Ensure You Get the Best Deal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express your enthusiasm about the potential position.\", \"描述\": \"While you're not yet accepting the position, you do want to show you're thankful and excited. Tell the person you are enthusiastic about possibly working together to impress your prospective employer.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Thank you so much for the offer! I'm excited about the possibility of working together.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask the company to send you the offer in writing.\", \"描述\": \"That way, you'll be able to review the terms and benefits at your leisure. Plus, a written offer is firmer than a verbal offer, so you are asking them to make a commitment to the offer.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I appreciate you making this offer to me over the phone, but would you mind sending me a written offer so I can review it in more detail?\\\"\\nAlso, make sure to ask who you should follow up with if you have questions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request a deadline for your response.\", \"描述\": \"Most companies are fine with you taking a day or two to review the offer and ensure it's the best option for you. Just ask the person over the phone when they need to hear back from you so you don't lose out on an opportunity by not responding in time.\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"When would you like an answer by?\\\"\\nYou could also ask for a specific deadline, such as \\\"Can I get back to you on Tuesday?\\\"\\nIf you need to wait to hear back from another company, you can always ask for an extension on the deadline if you need one. You might call and say, \\\"I really appreciate this offer, but I'm wondering if you'd give me another week to mull it over? I am waiting to hear back from another company, and I want to make sure that I am the best fit for this position.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Negotiate salary and other perks.\", \"描述\": \"If the salary isn't quite what you were expecting, use research to back up a counteroffer. Check the market value for someone of your experience and background to get a typical salary. Mention that information when trying to negotiate a higher salary.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"I appreciate your offer. I would like to make a counteroffer of $45,000. After reviewing the average salary for this position in the area, I feel that is a fair salary for someone with my education and experience.\\\"\\nBe willing to negotiate other perks if they won't budge on salary. For instance, maybe you could ask for a hiring bonus or for extra vacation days instead of the salary bump.\\nIf you're not sure where to look, try the Bureau Labor of Statistics as a starting point.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Commit verbally and in writing when you're ready.\", \"描述\": \"Once you decide you want the position, call the company to let them know you want the job. At the same time, send an acceptance letter or email to them, as well.\\nCall and say, \\\"Thank you for your generous offer. I would like to accept the position with Mechanics Forever. I have also sent a written acceptance by email.\\\"\\nIf you'd like to refuse the position, also do it politely: \\\"Thank you for your offer, but I don't think this position is the right fit for me at the moment.\\\" Also follow up with an email so they have it in writing.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
147 | How to Accept a Marriage Proposal | 1. Plan ahead for the occasion.
Brainstorm what you’d like to say before your partner proposes.
Set aside a special poem, or write out your feelings on a separate sheet of paper. When the big moment finally arrives, you’ll already have something planned to say.
You can find lots of romantic poems here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/collections/145134/love-poems.
Planning ahead may seem a little silly, but it’s a great way to share your feelings when the time comes. During the actual proposal, you might be too shocked and emotional to share everything that’s really on your mind.
You might say something like, “I’ve never felt so strongly about someone in my life” or “I thought you’d never ask!”
If your partner starts talking about budgeting money, meets with your friends in secret, and/or comments on other people’s engagement rings, there’s a good chance they’re planning to propose.
2. Follow your partner’s plans.
Don’t pepper them with questions or concerns about where you’re going.
Chances are, your significant other has put a lot of thought and care into where and when this proposal is going to happen. Instead of asking for an explanation, go with the flow and see where your partner takes you.
For example, your partner might take you to the coffee shop where you first met instead of going to the shop that’s right around the corner.
Your partner’s proposal plans will probably be specific and well-intentioned. If they’d like to bring you to a particular place, just follow their lead instead of asking a lot of questions.
3. Take a deep breath.
Let yourself focus on what’s happening in the moment.
Proposals are rare, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Take a deep breath to help ground yourself so you can listen and focus specifically on what your partner is saying.
4. Let them finish talking.
Give your answer after they’ve said their piece.
Proposals are definitely a 2-way street. It’s great that you want to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, but give them a chance to express themselves, too.
Depending on how your partner proposes, you might wait until they officially ask “Will you marry me?” before you say “yes.”
5. Say “yes.”
Don’t leave your partner hanging!
Let them know right away that you want to marry them. Try to match your partner’s tone and body language, so they know for sure that you’re saying yes.
For example, if your partner looks especially nervous, you might just say “Yes!” or “Of course I’ll marry you!”
You might also say something like “I can’t believe this is happening” or “I’m so happy” before you say “yes.”
“Absolutely, 100% yes!” “Nothing would make me happier!” or “It would be my honor!” are other things you might say.
6. Enjoy the moment.
Don’t call your friends and family right away.
Instead, give yourself and your partner plenty of time to savor and enjoy each other’s company and think about your future together. There will be plenty of time later to celebrate with your loved ones.
For instance, you might wait a day or 2 before officially sharing your engagement with friends and family.
Everyone reacts to a proposal in different ways. You could be really emotional, or you might just feel happy and relieved. There’s no right or wrong way to feel and behave after the fact!
7. Don’t worry if the ring isn’t perfect.
Ultimately, the ring is a symbol of something much bigger.
If you aren’t crazy about the ring, it’s not the end of the world. When push comes to shove, you can always replace or update the ring further down the line—it’s the person who gave you the ring that really matters.
If needed, you can always get the ring resized by a jeweler later on.
Tips
Don’t ask your friends for a hint on when your partner is going to propose. Instead, let your significant other take you by surprise![9]
X
Research source
Don’t try to predict or romanticize what the proposal will be like ahead of time. Just let yourself be surprised and excited in the moment![10]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Plan ahead for the occasion.\\nBrainstorm what you’d like to say before your partner proposes.\\nSet aside a special poem, or write out your feelings on a separate sheet of paper. When the big moment finally arrives, you’ll already have something planned to say.\\nYou can find lots of romantic poems here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/collections/145134/love-poems.\\nPlanning ahead may seem a little silly, but it’s a great way to share your feelings when the time comes. During the actual proposal, you might be too shocked and emotional to share everything that’s really on your mind.\\nYou might say something like, “I’ve never felt so strongly about someone in my life” or “I thought you’d never ask!”\\nIf your partner starts talking about budgeting money, meets with your friends in secret, and/or comments on other people’s engagement rings, there’s a good chance they’re planning to propose.\\n2. Follow your partner’s plans.\\nDon’t pepper them with questions or concerns about where you’re going.\\nChances are, your significant other has put a lot of thought and care into where and when this proposal is going to happen. Instead of asking for an explanation, go with the flow and see where your partner takes you.\\nFor example, your partner might take you to the coffee shop where you first met instead of going to the shop that’s right around the corner.\\nYour partner’s proposal plans will probably be specific and well-intentioned. If they’d like to bring you to a particular place, just follow their lead instead of asking a lot of questions.\\n3. Take a deep breath.\\nLet yourself focus on what’s happening in the moment.\\nProposals are rare, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Take a deep breath to help ground yourself so you can listen and focus specifically on what your partner is saying.\\n4. Let them finish talking.\\nGive your answer after they’ve said their piece.\\nProposals are definitely a 2-way street. It’s great that you want to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, but give them a chance to express themselves, too.\\nDepending on how your partner proposes, you might wait until they officially ask “Will you marry me?” before you say “yes.”\\n5. Say “yes.”\\nDon’t leave your partner hanging!\\nLet them know right away that you want to marry them. Try to match your partner’s tone and body language, so they know for sure that you’re saying yes.\\nFor example, if your partner looks especially nervous, you might just say “Yes!” or “Of course I’ll marry you!”\\nYou might also say something like “I can’t believe this is happening” or “I’m so happy” before you say “yes.”\\n“Absolutely, 100% yes!” “Nothing would make me happier!” or “It would be my honor!” are other things you might say.\\n6. Enjoy the moment.\\nDon’t call your friends and family right away.\\nInstead, give yourself and your partner plenty of time to savor and enjoy each other’s company and think about your future together. There will be plenty of time later to celebrate with your loved ones.\\nFor instance, you might wait a day or 2 before officially sharing your engagement with friends and family.\\nEveryone reacts to a proposal in different ways. You could be really emotional, or you might just feel happy and relieved. There’s no right or wrong way to feel and behave after the fact!\\n7. Don’t worry if the ring isn’t perfect.\\nUltimately, the ring is a symbol of something much bigger.\\nIf you aren’t crazy about the ring, it’s not the end of the world. When push comes to shove, you can always replace or update the ring further down the line—it’s the person who gave you the ring that really matters.\\nIf needed, you can always get the ring resized by a jeweler later on.\\nTips\\nDon’t ask your friends for a hint on when your partner is going to propose. Instead, let your significant other take you by surprise![9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon’t try to predict or romanticize what the proposal will be like ahead of time. Just let yourself be surprised and excited in the moment![10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Few moments in life are as unforgettable as a marriage proposal. Even if you’re expecting your significant other to pop the question, the sheer excitement and anticipation can leave you drawing a blank when the moment actually arrives. Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of tips and tricks to help you stay clearheaded and focused when your partner does get down on 1 knee.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan ahead for the occasion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Brainstorm what you’d like to say before your partner proposes.\", \"描述\": \"Set aside a special poem, or write out your feelings on a separate sheet of paper. When the big moment finally arrives, you’ll already have something planned to say.\\nYou can find lots of romantic poems here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/collections/145134/love-poems.\\nPlanning ahead may seem a little silly, but it’s a great way to share your feelings when the time comes. During the actual proposal, you might be too shocked and emotional to share everything that’s really on your mind.\\nYou might say something like, “I’ve never felt so strongly about someone in my life” or “I thought you’d never ask!”\\nIf your partner starts talking about budgeting money, meets with your friends in secret, and/or comments on other people’s engagement rings, there’s a good chance they’re planning to propose.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Follow your partner’s plans.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t pepper them with questions or concerns about where you’re going.\", \"描述\": \"Chances are, your significant other has put a lot of thought and care into where and when this proposal is going to happen. Instead of asking for an explanation, go with the flow and see where your partner takes you.\\nFor example, your partner might take you to the coffee shop where you first met instead of going to the shop that’s right around the corner.\\nYour partner’s proposal plans will probably be specific and well-intentioned. If they’d like to bring you to a particular place, just follow their lead instead of asking a lot of questions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let yourself focus on what’s happening in the moment.\", \"描述\": \"Proposals are rare, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Take a deep breath to help ground yourself so you can listen and focus specifically on what your partner is saying.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let them finish talking.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your answer after they’ve said their piece.\", \"描述\": \"Proposals are definitely a 2-way street. It’s great that you want to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, but give them a chance to express themselves, too.\\nDepending on how your partner proposes, you might wait until they officially ask “Will you marry me?” before you say “yes.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say “yes.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t leave your partner hanging!\", \"描述\": \"Let them know right away that you want to marry them. Try to match your partner’s tone and body language, so they know for sure that you’re saying yes.\\nFor example, if your partner looks especially nervous, you might just say “Yes!” or “Of course I’ll marry you!”\\nYou might also say something like “I can’t believe this is happening” or “I’m so happy” before you say “yes.”\\n“Absolutely, 100% yes!” “Nothing would make me happier!” or “It would be my honor!” are other things you might say.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enjoy the moment.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t call your friends and family right away.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, give yourself and your partner plenty of time to savor and enjoy each other’s company and think about your future together. There will be plenty of time later to celebrate with your loved ones.\\nFor instance, you might wait a day or 2 before officially sharing your engagement with friends and family.\\nEveryone reacts to a proposal in different ways. You could be really emotional, or you might just feel happy and relieved. There’s no right or wrong way to feel and behave after the fact!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t worry if the ring isn’t perfect.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ultimately, the ring is a symbol of something much bigger.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t crazy about the ring, it’s not the end of the world. When push comes to shove, you can always replace or update the ring further down the line—it’s the person who gave you the ring that really matters.\\nIf needed, you can always get the ring resized by a jeweler later on.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t ask your friends for a hint on when your partner is going to propose. Instead, let your significant other take you by surprise![9]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don’t try to predict or romanticize what the proposal will be like ahead of time. Just let yourself be surprised and excited in the moment![10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
148 | How to Accept a Payment on eBay | 1. Linking Your PayPal Account
1-1. Go to eBay in a web browser.
You can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.
If you aren't signed in automatically, click "Sign in" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click "Register" to create a new account.
1-2. Hover the mouse cursor over your name.
Once logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.
1-3. Click Account Settings.
It's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.
1-4. Click Link My PayPal Account.
It's the gray button on the right side of the page, just below the purple section that says "PayPal account information". This opens a new window for you to log into your PayPal account.
eBay may prompt you for additional information before proceeding depending on the account information you've previously provided.
1-5. Enter your contact information if prompted.
If you haven't done so earlier, eBay needs to know your mobile phone number, email, and physical address before you can accept payments. Enter the requested info and click "Continue" when you are finished. This redirects you to PayPal's website.
Skip this step if you don't see this prompt.
1-6. Log into your PayPal account.
After you are redirected to the PayPal website, type the email address and password associated with your PayPal account and click "Log In."
If you don't have a PayPal account, click "Sign up" on the left side of the page and follow the prompts. Read How to Set Up a PayPal Account for more detailed information.
1-7. Click Return to eBay.
This returns you to eBay with your PayPal account now linked. When users pay for items you sell on eBay, the payment will be added to your PayPal account automatically. If your PayPal is linked to your bank account, you can then send your PayPal balance to your bank account.
Read How to Transfer Money from PayPal to a Bank Account to learn how to transfer money from PayPal to your bank account.
2. Accepting Credit and Debit Card Payments
2-1. Go to https://www.ebay.com in a web browser.
You can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.
If you aren't signed in automatically, click "Sign in" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click "Register" to create a new account.
2-2. Hover the mouse cursor over your name.
Once logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.
2-3. Click Account Settings.
It's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.
2-4. Click Site preferences.
It's in the sidebar to the left in the center.
2-5. Click Show next to "Payment from buyers".
It's in the seller preferences section.
The seller preferences section isn't available until after you list your first item and have created a Seller Account.
2-6. Click Edit.
It's across from "Payment preferences".
2-7. Click the checkbox next to "Accept credit and debit card payments".
It's near the bottom of the Payment Preferences page.
2-8. Click Save.
It's at the bottom of the Payment Preferences page. This allows you to accept credit and debit cards to your merchant account.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Linking Your PayPal Account\\n1-1. Go to eBay in a web browser.\\nYou can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.\\nIf you aren't signed in automatically, click \\\"Sign in\\\" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click \\\"Register\\\" to create a new account.\\n1-2. Hover the mouse cursor over your name.\\nOnce logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.\\n1-3. Click Account Settings.\\nIt's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.\\n1-4. Click Link My PayPal Account.\\nIt's the gray button on the right side of the page, just below the purple section that says \\\"PayPal account information\\\". This opens a new window for you to log into your PayPal account.\\neBay may prompt you for additional information before proceeding depending on the account information you've previously provided.\\n1-5. Enter your contact information if prompted.\\nIf you haven't done so earlier, eBay needs to know your mobile phone number, email, and physical address before you can accept payments. Enter the requested info and click \\\"Continue\\\" when you are finished. This redirects you to PayPal's website.\\nSkip this step if you don't see this prompt.\\n1-6. Log into your PayPal account.\\nAfter you are redirected to the PayPal website, type the email address and password associated with your PayPal account and click \\\"Log In.\\\"\\nIf you don't have a PayPal account, click \\\"Sign up\\\" on the left side of the page and follow the prompts. Read How to Set Up a PayPal Account for more detailed information.\\n1-7. Click Return to eBay.\\nThis returns you to eBay with your PayPal account now linked. When users pay for items you sell on eBay, the payment will be added to your PayPal account automatically. If your PayPal is linked to your bank account, you can then send your PayPal balance to your bank account.\\nRead How to Transfer Money from PayPal to a Bank Account to learn how to transfer money from PayPal to your bank account.\\n2. Accepting Credit and Debit Card Payments\\n2-1. Go to https://www.ebay.com in a web browser.\\nYou can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.\\nIf you aren't signed in automatically, click \\\"Sign in\\\" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click \\\"Register\\\" to create a new account.\\n2-2. Hover the mouse cursor over your name.\\nOnce logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.\\n2-3. Click Account Settings.\\nIt's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.\\n2-4. Click Site preferences.\\nIt's in the sidebar to the left in the center.\\n2-5. Click Show next to \\\"Payment from buyers\\\".\\nIt's in the seller preferences section.\\nThe seller preferences section isn't available until after you list your first item and have created a Seller Account.\\n2-6. Click Edit.\\nIt's across from \\\"Payment preferences\\\".\\n2-7. Click the checkbox next to \\\"Accept credit and debit card payments\\\".\\nIt's near the bottom of the Payment Preferences page.\\n2-8. Click Save.\\nIt's at the bottom of the Payment Preferences page. This allows you to accept credit and debit cards to your merchant account.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to accept payments on eBay using PayPal or credit and debit cards. 99% of transactions on eBay are done through PayPal, so linking your eBay and PayPal accounts will allow you to accept PayPal Payments automatically. You can also configure your eBay account to accept credit and debit card payments directly.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Linking Your PayPal Account\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to eBay in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.\\nIf you aren't signed in automatically, click \\\"Sign in\\\" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click \\\"Register\\\" to create a new account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hover the mouse cursor over your name.\", \"描述\": \"Once logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Account Settings.\", \"描述\": \"It's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Link My PayPal Account.\", \"描述\": \"It's the gray button on the right side of the page, just below the purple section that says \\\"PayPal account information\\\". This opens a new window for you to log into your PayPal account.\\neBay may prompt you for additional information before proceeding depending on the account information you've previously provided.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enter your contact information if prompted.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't done so earlier, eBay needs to know your mobile phone number, email, and physical address before you can accept payments. Enter the requested info and click \\\"Continue\\\" when you are finished. This redirects you to PayPal's website.\\nSkip this step if you don't see this prompt.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Log into your PayPal account.\", \"描述\": \"After you are redirected to the PayPal website, type the email address and password associated with your PayPal account and click \\\"Log In.\\\"\\nIf you don't have a PayPal account, click \\\"Sign up\\\" on the left side of the page and follow the prompts. Read How to Set Up a PayPal Account for more detailed information.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click Return to eBay.\", \"描述\": \"This returns you to eBay with your PayPal account now linked. When users pay for items you sell on eBay, the payment will be added to your PayPal account automatically. If your PayPal is linked to your bank account, you can then send your PayPal balance to your bank account.\\nRead How to Transfer Money from PayPal to a Bank Account to learn how to transfer money from PayPal to your bank account.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting Credit and Debit Card Payments\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.ebay.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser on your Windows or Mac computer.\\nIf you aren't signed in automatically, click \\\"Sign in\\\" in the top-left corner of the page and log into your eBay account, or click \\\"Register\\\" to create a new account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hover the mouse cursor over your name.\", \"描述\": \"Once logged in, your name is in the top-left corner of the webpage. This opens a drop-down menu with some account options.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Account Settings.\", \"描述\": \"It's just below your profile picture in the drop-down menu in the top-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Site preferences.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the sidebar to the left in the center.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Show next to \\\"Payment from buyers\\\".\", \"描述\": \"It's in the seller preferences section.\\nThe seller preferences section isn't available until after you list your first item and have created a Seller Account.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click Edit.\", \"描述\": \"It's across from \\\"Payment preferences\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click the checkbox next to \\\"Accept credit and debit card payments\\\".\", \"描述\": \"It's near the bottom of the Payment Preferences page.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click Save.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the Payment Preferences page. This allows you to accept credit and debit cards to your merchant account.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
149 | How to Accept a Resignation Letter | 1. Taking Care of Business (Administrative Details)
1-1. Develop a logical system for handling resignation letters.
You will appear unprofessional if you do not have a clear, concise way of dealing with outgoing employees.
Want to make the transition out of your company go as smoothly as possible?
Create generic separation information packets to outline what happens next.
These can include severance packages, leave notice requirements, provision of a forwarding address for final pay, and final dates of employment.
1-2. Determine when counteroffers will be made.
Each resignation is different and involves varying factual scenarios. As an employer, you have to determine when counteroffers are acceptable and when you will simply let the employee go. Some employers have a policy of never trying to retain an employee that seemingly doesn't want to be there. However, a policy that allows for some negotiation may be advantageous, particularly when the employee is valuable to your team.
For example, if the individual resigning is a high ranking officer or executive, you may want to understand their concerns and try to correct them so the employee stays.
1-3. Draft a reply letter.
Included in your standard resignation acceptance system should be a reply letter. The letter should state that you regret the loss of the employee, but respect and understand their decision. Inform them of the date you received the letter and date of their final workday. Be cordial and wish your outgoing employee the best.
“Dear [employee name], I regretfully received your resignation notice on [date resignation notice was submitted].
"Your resignation has been approved and your final work day will be [date of final work day]."
"It's been a pleasure working with you, and on behalf of the entire company, I wish you good luck in your future endeavors."
"Please direct any questions to this office."
"Thank you for your many years of service. Sincerely, [your name].”
1-4. Protect confidential business information.
If your company has given an individual access to company credit cards, bank accounts, automobiles, or laptops or other electronic equipment, ensure that these are returned. After they depart, eliminate the employee’s access to the office via security cards and change system logon info. Protecting your company and its property should be at the top of your priority list when considering how to accept a resignation letter.
If employees are required to sign a non-compete agreement as part of the hiring process, review this document with the employee at the time you accept their resignation.
This will ensure they are fully aware of their limitations in releasing company information and contacting clients or associates of the company.
1-5. Wrap things up.
If the resigning employee is in the middle of a project or deal, get them to finish it. If it is impossible for them to complete their current workload before they depart, get them to draft a report outlining what has been done and what has been left undone. Let them know what is expected of them before they leave the company.
Instruct the employee to provide a list of important email addresses, phone numbers, and computer files for their replacement.
Request that the employee provide a forwarding address for their tax statements and final paycheck.
1-6. Establish an end date.
Usually, human resources guidelines mandate that the employee provide at least two weeks’ notice before resigning. At the end of the two weeks, the employee is free to leave. Based on what you know of the employee’s current workload, you may or may not request to extend that deadline. End dates may vary with the employee’s position within the company; individuals with more responsibilities will typically have to wait longer before officially leaving the company than junior rank-and-file employees.
Different states have different laws regarding notice. For example, in Kansas, an employee does not need to provide any notice when he or she quits.
Some states may require advance notice. Be sure you check your local laws to ensure the established end date is valid.
1-7. Work on hiring a replacement.
The path toward replacing the employee who is leaving with another employee should begin immediately. Search your firm’s roster for an acceptable candidate. Ask the outgoing employee for suggestions as to who they think would be a good fit for the position. If no qualified employees exist within your company, open the hiring process to external candidates. Locating and training the outgoing employee’s replacement in a swift and timely manner will ensure that workflow interruption is minimized.
If you can hire the departing employee’s replacement before they leave, allow them to train under the outgoing employee. This will guarantee a smooth transition.
1-8. Conduct an exit interview.
An exit interview gives the departing employee a chance to talk about their experience with you and express what they felt worked in their specific department or in the business at large. Encourage your departing employee to be honest in their evaluation of the company, his coworkers, and management during the exit interview. Listen carefully and use their insights as an opportunity to learn how you can best identify their replacement and adjust the expectations for the person assuming the position.
Find out more about why the employee wants to leave when you conduct the exit interview.
Understanding the employee's motivations lets you delve deeper into what you could do to convince them to stay. It can also help you identify things you may want to change about your business to retain employees in the future.
2. Making a Counteroffer
2-1. Decide if you want to accept the employee’s resignation.
Bargaining with an employee to stay is usually a good idea if you can afford it, especially if they have many years with the company, lots of institutional knowledge, and valuable contacts who may follow him or her to their new position.
2-2. Find out as much as you can about the employee’s reasons for leaving the company.
Use this explanation to decide if the employee can be bargained with. If your employee is leaving because they hate their job, don’t try to keep them around. However, if they are leaving to pursue a better job – with more freedom, better pay, or more prestige – you might consider talking them out of it by making a counteroffer.
2-3. Don’t delay the inevitable.
Often, a counteroffer to retain an employee will not keep them at your firm in the long run. There may be reasons beyond the ones they admitted to which make them want to leave your firm. This is not to say that your employee is lying, but they may actually believe that their current position is worth keeping for money alone. Typically, employees are not leaving solely due to the size of their paycheck. Keeping them around is a temporary solution best avoided.
2-4. Consider the message you’re sending.
If other employees get wind of the fact that you made a counteroffer to your resigning employee in order to get them to stay, the others may see you as desperate to keep people from jumping ship. Furthermore, they may feel that they should be looking at other work opportunities as well, and threaten to leave in order to get a raise or promotion.
2-5. Do not pressure the employee to stay.
If their mind is made up, you will gain nothing by leaning on them to stay. Do not disparage or raise doubts about the quality of the firm your outgoing employee is joining. If the employee is less sure of his or her decision to resign, making them feel stupid, guilty, or selfish by quitting is not only unprofessional and manipulative, but is not in your best interests. This underhanded behavior is unbecoming of a leader.
Pressuring the employee to stay is bad for both them and you.
Without solving the underlying reasons for the employee’s dissatisfaction, you create a recipe for later disappointment when they decide to leave.
2-6. Be honest.
Do not promise a resigning employee new responsibilities or a change in the office culture if you can’t deliver on it. Such mendacity will needlessly embitter your outgoing employee, and leave them with a bad taste in their mouth when they finally realize nothing will change.
Even if you’re well-intentioned, step back and ask what changes are possible and what's not possible in your workplace.
For instance, if your employee wants a job already filled by someone else, be honest and let the employee know that you can't give them what they want.
3. Saying Goodbye and Showing Appreciation
3-1. Maintain your composure.
Handle the resignation professionally. This is especially important when you are handed the resignation letter in person and are receiving the first notice of the employee’s leaving. Do not react emotionally. If you respond negatively, the employee may become offended and lash out at you or their coworkers.
A sour employee can make the few weeks they remain at the company a nightmare.
Responding with sadness, shock, or grief, while understandable, could make the situation even more stressful and difficult for the resigning employee.
Do not add to the employee’s stress and discomfort by asking them to stay (unless you offer an improved salary and benefits as well).
3-2. Offer the employee a letter of recommendation.
These should accurately describe what the employee’s responsibilities were. Work with them if they desire specifics in their letter about the work they did for your firm, but be honest and sincere. Keep your letters of recommendation brief and to the point. If the company receiving the letter has questions, they will contact you.
Begin a standard letter of rec with a salutation (“dear so-and-so”).
Include a description of how you know the resigning individual and describe your experience working with them.
Include a litany of qualities which make the employee attractive to you and, presumably, to another employer.
Add concrete examples to back up your praise. For instance, if you say someone is creative, cite 3-4 instances of their creative problem-solving.
Declare that the employee will continue to excel in their chosen profession.
3-3. Let the gang know.
Send out a memo or email to the resigning employee’s coworkers announcing the resignation. Let them know regretfully that the employee in question is leaving, and on behalf of the company you wish them well in their future endeavors.
“It is with deep regret that I must inform you that [employee’s name] will be moving to another position."
"Their last day will be [employee’s last day]."
"Please join me in wishing him/her well in all future endeavors.”
3-4. Celebrate the employee’s decision.
Even though you are disappointed to see a good worker (and maybe even a good friend) leave, it is important that they know their work and contributions were valued. Throw a work party at the end of their last day to let them know. If you don’t want to take office time away from everyone, arrange for everyone to meet for drinks after the end of the employee’s last work day. If you think a more intimate send-off is appropriate, have a small team lunch on the employee’s last day.
3-5. Leave the door open.
Extend the opportunity to the employee to return if they find their new employer doesn’t work out. Let them know they will always have a home at your business.
When outgoing employees feel their work was appreciated and they were valued, they will act as goodwill ambassadors for your firm.
They might recommend your company to other potential employees and partner businesses or agencies.
The connections your employee gains in his or her next position could benefit you as well.
Tips
Always require employees to submit a written notice of resignation. Verbal resignations (“I quit!”) may later lead to claims of unfair dismissal by employees.[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
Official UK government website
Official website for the public sector of the UK government
Go to source
The way you respond to an employee resignation directly impacts how the rest of your employees see you and treat the outgoing employee. If you respond with rancor, frustration, resentment, and disappointment, your employees may treat the outgoing employee badly. Whether you are disappointed or elated they are leaving, accept the employee’s decision to resign with a positive attitude.
Warnings
Burning bridges is never a good idea, especially when dealing with an employee who has played a critical role in the success of your company.
Every state has different laws about employment relationships. Make sure you understand and comply with all state and local laws where you work.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking Care of Business (Administrative Details)\\n1-1. Develop a logical system for handling resignation letters.\\nYou will appear unprofessional if you do not have a clear, concise way of dealing with outgoing employees.\\nWant to make the transition out of your company go as smoothly as possible?\\nCreate generic separation information packets to outline what happens next.\\nThese can include severance packages, leave notice requirements, provision of a forwarding address for final pay, and final dates of employment.\\n1-2. Determine when counteroffers will be made.\\nEach resignation is different and involves varying factual scenarios. As an employer, you have to determine when counteroffers are acceptable and when you will simply let the employee go. Some employers have a policy of never trying to retain an employee that seemingly doesn't want to be there. However, a policy that allows for some negotiation may be advantageous, particularly when the employee is valuable to your team.\\nFor example, if the individual resigning is a high ranking officer or executive, you may want to understand their concerns and try to correct them so the employee stays.\\n1-3. Draft a reply letter.\\nIncluded in your standard resignation acceptance system should be a reply letter. The letter should state that you regret the loss of the employee, but respect and understand their decision. Inform them of the date you received the letter and date of their final workday. Be cordial and wish your outgoing employee the best.\\n\\n “Dear [employee name], I regretfully received your resignation notice on [date resignation notice was submitted].\\n \\\"Your resignation has been approved and your final work day will be [date of final work day].\\\"\\n \\\"It's been a pleasure working with you, and on behalf of the entire company, I wish you good luck in your future endeavors.\\\"\\n \\\"Please direct any questions to this office.\\\"\\n \\\"Thank you for your many years of service. Sincerely, [your name].”\\n1-4. Protect confidential business information.\\nIf your company has given an individual access to company credit cards, bank accounts, automobiles, or laptops or other electronic equipment, ensure that these are returned. After they depart, eliminate the employee’s access to the office via security cards and change system logon info. Protecting your company and its property should be at the top of your priority list when considering how to accept a resignation letter.\\nIf employees are required to sign a non-compete agreement as part of the hiring process, review this document with the employee at the time you accept their resignation.\\nThis will ensure they are fully aware of their limitations in releasing company information and contacting clients or associates of the company.\\n1-5. Wrap things up.\\nIf the resigning employee is in the middle of a project or deal, get them to finish it. If it is impossible for them to complete their current workload before they depart, get them to draft a report outlining what has been done and what has been left undone. Let them know what is expected of them before they leave the company.\\nInstruct the employee to provide a list of important email addresses, phone numbers, and computer files for their replacement.\\nRequest that the employee provide a forwarding address for their tax statements and final paycheck.\\n1-6. Establish an end date.\\nUsually, human resources guidelines mandate that the employee provide at least two weeks’ notice before resigning. At the end of the two weeks, the employee is free to leave. Based on what you know of the employee’s current workload, you may or may not request to extend that deadline. End dates may vary with the employee’s position within the company; individuals with more responsibilities will typically have to wait longer before officially leaving the company than junior rank-and-file employees.\\nDifferent states have different laws regarding notice. For example, in Kansas, an employee does not need to provide any notice when he or she quits.\\nSome states may require advance notice. Be sure you check your local laws to ensure the established end date is valid.\\n1-7. Work on hiring a replacement.\\nThe path toward replacing the employee who is leaving with another employee should begin immediately. Search your firm’s roster for an acceptable candidate. Ask the outgoing employee for suggestions as to who they think would be a good fit for the position. If no qualified employees exist within your company, open the hiring process to external candidates. Locating and training the outgoing employee’s replacement in a swift and timely manner will ensure that workflow interruption is minimized.\\nIf you can hire the departing employee’s replacement before they leave, allow them to train under the outgoing employee. This will guarantee a smooth transition.\\n1-8. Conduct an exit interview.\\nAn exit interview gives the departing employee a chance to talk about their experience with you and express what they felt worked in their specific department or in the business at large. Encourage your departing employee to be honest in their evaluation of the company, his coworkers, and management during the exit interview. Listen carefully and use their insights as an opportunity to learn how you can best identify their replacement and adjust the expectations for the person assuming the position.\\nFind out more about why the employee wants to leave when you conduct the exit interview.\\nUnderstanding the employee's motivations lets you delve deeper into what you could do to convince them to stay. It can also help you identify things you may want to change about your business to retain employees in the future.\\n2. Making a Counteroffer\\n2-1. Decide if you want to accept the employee’s resignation.\\nBargaining with an employee to stay is usually a good idea if you can afford it, especially if they have many years with the company, lots of institutional knowledge, and valuable contacts who may follow him or her to their new position.\\n2-2. Find out as much as you can about the employee’s reasons for leaving the company.\\nUse this explanation to decide if the employee can be bargained with. If your employee is leaving because they hate their job, don’t try to keep them around. However, if they are leaving to pursue a better job – with more freedom, better pay, or more prestige – you might consider talking them out of it by making a counteroffer.\\n2-3. Don’t delay the inevitable.\\nOften, a counteroffer to retain an employee will not keep them at your firm in the long run. There may be reasons beyond the ones they admitted to which make them want to leave your firm. This is not to say that your employee is lying, but they may actually believe that their current position is worth keeping for money alone. Typically, employees are not leaving solely due to the size of their paycheck. Keeping them around is a temporary solution best avoided.\\n2-4. Consider the message you’re sending.\\nIf other employees get wind of the fact that you made a counteroffer to your resigning employee in order to get them to stay, the others may see you as desperate to keep people from jumping ship. Furthermore, they may feel that they should be looking at other work opportunities as well, and threaten to leave in order to get a raise or promotion.\\n2-5. Do not pressure the employee to stay.\\nIf their mind is made up, you will gain nothing by leaning on them to stay. Do not disparage or raise doubts about the quality of the firm your outgoing employee is joining. If the employee is less sure of his or her decision to resign, making them feel stupid, guilty, or selfish by quitting is not only unprofessional and manipulative, but is not in your best interests. This underhanded behavior is unbecoming of a leader.\\nPressuring the employee to stay is bad for both them and you.\\nWithout solving the underlying reasons for the employee’s dissatisfaction, you create a recipe for later disappointment when they decide to leave.\\n2-6. Be honest.\\nDo not promise a resigning employee new responsibilities or a change in the office culture if you can’t deliver on it. Such mendacity will needlessly embitter your outgoing employee, and leave them with a bad taste in their mouth when they finally realize nothing will change.\\nEven if you’re well-intentioned, step back and ask what changes are possible and what's not possible in your workplace.\\nFor instance, if your employee wants a job already filled by someone else, be honest and let the employee know that you can't give them what they want.\\n3. Saying Goodbye and Showing Appreciation\\n3-1. Maintain your composure.\\nHandle the resignation professionally. This is especially important when you are handed the resignation letter in person and are receiving the first notice of the employee’s leaving. Do not react emotionally. If you respond negatively, the employee may become offended and lash out at you or their coworkers.\\nA sour employee can make the few weeks they remain at the company a nightmare.\\nResponding with sadness, shock, or grief, while understandable, could make the situation even more stressful and difficult for the resigning employee.\\nDo not add to the employee’s stress and discomfort by asking them to stay (unless you offer an improved salary and benefits as well).\\n3-2. Offer the employee a letter of recommendation.\\nThese should accurately describe what the employee’s responsibilities were. Work with them if they desire specifics in their letter about the work they did for your firm, but be honest and sincere. Keep your letters of recommendation brief and to the point. If the company receiving the letter has questions, they will contact you.\\nBegin a standard letter of rec with a salutation (“dear so-and-so”).\\nInclude a description of how you know the resigning individual and describe your experience working with them.\\nInclude a litany of qualities which make the employee attractive to you and, presumably, to another employer.\\nAdd concrete examples to back up your praise. For instance, if you say someone is creative, cite 3-4 instances of their creative problem-solving.\\nDeclare that the employee will continue to excel in their chosen profession.\\n3-3. Let the gang know.\\nSend out a memo or email to the resigning employee’s coworkers announcing the resignation. Let them know regretfully that the employee in question is leaving, and on behalf of the company you wish them well in their future endeavors.\\n\\n “It is with deep regret that I must inform you that [employee’s name] will be moving to another position.\\\"\\n \\\"Their last day will be [employee’s last day].\\\"\\n \\\"Please join me in wishing him/her well in all future endeavors.”\\n3-4. Celebrate the employee’s decision.\\nEven though you are disappointed to see a good worker (and maybe even a good friend) leave, it is important that they know their work and contributions were valued. Throw a work party at the end of their last day to let them know. If you don’t want to take office time away from everyone, arrange for everyone to meet for drinks after the end of the employee’s last work day. If you think a more intimate send-off is appropriate, have a small team lunch on the employee’s last day.\\n3-5. Leave the door open.\\nExtend the opportunity to the employee to return if they find their new employer doesn’t work out. Let them know they will always have a home at your business.\\nWhen outgoing employees feel their work was appreciated and they were valued, they will act as goodwill ambassadors for your firm.\\nThey might recommend your company to other potential employees and partner businesses or agencies.\\nThe connections your employee gains in his or her next position could benefit you as well.\\nTips\\nAlways require employees to submit a written notice of resignation. Verbal resignations (“I quit!”) may later lead to claims of unfair dismissal by employees.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nOfficial UK government website\\nOfficial website for the public sector of the UK government\\nGo to source\\nThe way you respond to an employee resignation directly impacts how the rest of your employees see you and treat the outgoing employee. If you respond with rancor, frustration, resentment, and disappointment, your employees may treat the outgoing employee badly. Whether you are disappointed or elated they are leaving, accept the employee’s decision to resign with a positive attitude.\\nWarnings\\nBurning bridges is never a good idea, especially when dealing with an employee who has played a critical role in the success of your company.\\nEvery state has different laws about employment relationships. Make sure you understand and comply with all state and local laws where you work.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"One of the more challenging aspects of managing employees is dealing with an employee’s departure. Having a structured separation policy in place ahead of time will help you know how to accept a resignation letter. Using some basic business management skills, you can learn to appropriately handle an employee's decision to resign from your company in an amicable way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking Care of Business (Administrative Details)\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Develop a logical system for handling resignation letters.\", \"描述\": \"You will appear unprofessional if you do not have a clear, concise way of dealing with outgoing employees.\\nWant to make the transition out of your company go as smoothly as possible?\\nCreate generic separation information packets to outline what happens next.\\nThese can include severance packages, leave notice requirements, provision of a forwarding address for final pay, and final dates of employment.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine when counteroffers will be made.\", \"描述\": \"Each resignation is different and involves varying factual scenarios. As an employer, you have to determine when counteroffers are acceptable and when you will simply let the employee go. Some employers have a policy of never trying to retain an employee that seemingly doesn't want to be there. However, a policy that allows for some negotiation may be advantageous, particularly when the employee is valuable to your team.\\nFor example, if the individual resigning is a high ranking officer or executive, you may want to understand their concerns and try to correct them so the employee stays.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Draft a reply letter.\", \"描述\": \"Included in your standard resignation acceptance system should be a reply letter. The letter should state that you regret the loss of the employee, but respect and understand their decision. Inform them of the date you received the letter and date of their final workday. Be cordial and wish your outgoing employee the best.\\n\\n “Dear [employee name], I regretfully received your resignation notice on [date resignation notice was submitted].\\n \\\"Your resignation has been approved and your final work day will be [date of final work day].\\\"\\n \\\"It's been a pleasure working with you, and on behalf of the entire company, I wish you good luck in your future endeavors.\\\"\\n \\\"Please direct any questions to this office.\\\"\\n \\\"Thank you for your many years of service. Sincerely, [your name].”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Protect confidential business information.\", \"描述\": \"If your company has given an individual access to company credit cards, bank accounts, automobiles, or laptops or other electronic equipment, ensure that these are returned. After they depart, eliminate the employee’s access to the office via security cards and change system logon info. Protecting your company and its property should be at the top of your priority list when considering how to accept a resignation letter.\\nIf employees are required to sign a non-compete agreement as part of the hiring process, review this document with the employee at the time you accept their resignation.\\nThis will ensure they are fully aware of their limitations in releasing company information and contacting clients or associates of the company.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wrap things up.\", \"描述\": \"If the resigning employee is in the middle of a project or deal, get them to finish it. If it is impossible for them to complete their current workload before they depart, get them to draft a report outlining what has been done and what has been left undone. Let them know what is expected of them before they leave the company.\\nInstruct the employee to provide a list of important email addresses, phone numbers, and computer files for their replacement.\\nRequest that the employee provide a forwarding address for their tax statements and final paycheck.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Establish an end date.\", \"描述\": \"Usually, human resources guidelines mandate that the employee provide at least two weeks’ notice before resigning. At the end of the two weeks, the employee is free to leave. Based on what you know of the employee’s current workload, you may or may not request to extend that deadline. End dates may vary with the employee’s position within the company; individuals with more responsibilities will typically have to wait longer before officially leaving the company than junior rank-and-file employees.\\nDifferent states have different laws regarding notice. For example, in Kansas, an employee does not need to provide any notice when he or she quits.\\nSome states may require advance notice. Be sure you check your local laws to ensure the established end date is valid.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Work on hiring a replacement.\", \"描述\": \"The path toward replacing the employee who is leaving with another employee should begin immediately. Search your firm’s roster for an acceptable candidate. Ask the outgoing employee for suggestions as to who they think would be a good fit for the position. If no qualified employees exist within your company, open the hiring process to external candidates. Locating and training the outgoing employee’s replacement in a swift and timely manner will ensure that workflow interruption is minimized.\\nIf you can hire the departing employee’s replacement before they leave, allow them to train under the outgoing employee. This will guarantee a smooth transition.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Conduct an exit interview.\", \"描述\": \"An exit interview gives the departing employee a chance to talk about their experience with you and express what they felt worked in their specific department or in the business at large. Encourage your departing employee to be honest in their evaluation of the company, his coworkers, and management during the exit interview. Listen carefully and use their insights as an opportunity to learn how you can best identify their replacement and adjust the expectations for the person assuming the position.\\nFind out more about why the employee wants to leave when you conduct the exit interview.\\nUnderstanding the employee's motivations lets you delve deeper into what you could do to convince them to stay. It can also help you identify things you may want to change about your business to retain employees in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Counteroffer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide if you want to accept the employee’s resignation.\", \"描述\": \"Bargaining with an employee to stay is usually a good idea if you can afford it, especially if they have many years with the company, lots of institutional knowledge, and valuable contacts who may follow him or her to their new position.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out as much as you can about the employee’s reasons for leaving the company.\", \"描述\": \"Use this explanation to decide if the employee can be bargained with. If your employee is leaving because they hate their job, don’t try to keep them around. However, if they are leaving to pursue a better job – with more freedom, better pay, or more prestige – you might consider talking them out of it by making a counteroffer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t delay the inevitable.\", \"描述\": \"Often, a counteroffer to retain an employee will not keep them at your firm in the long run. There may be reasons beyond the ones they admitted to which make them want to leave your firm. This is not to say that your employee is lying, but they may actually believe that their current position is worth keeping for money alone. Typically, employees are not leaving solely due to the size of their paycheck. Keeping them around is a temporary solution best avoided.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider the message you’re sending.\", \"描述\": \"If other employees get wind of the fact that you made a counteroffer to your resigning employee in order to get them to stay, the others may see you as desperate to keep people from jumping ship. Furthermore, they may feel that they should be looking at other work opportunities as well, and threaten to leave in order to get a raise or promotion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do not pressure the employee to stay.\", \"描述\": \"If their mind is made up, you will gain nothing by leaning on them to stay. Do not disparage or raise doubts about the quality of the firm your outgoing employee is joining. If the employee is less sure of his or her decision to resign, making them feel stupid, guilty, or selfish by quitting is not only unprofessional and manipulative, but is not in your best interests. This underhanded behavior is unbecoming of a leader.\\nPressuring the employee to stay is bad for both them and you.\\nWithout solving the underlying reasons for the employee’s dissatisfaction, you create a recipe for later disappointment when they decide to leave.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"Do not promise a resigning employee new responsibilities or a change in the office culture if you can’t deliver on it. Such mendacity will needlessly embitter your outgoing employee, and leave them with a bad taste in their mouth when they finally realize nothing will change.\\nEven if you’re well-intentioned, step back and ask what changes are possible and what's not possible in your workplace.\\nFor instance, if your employee wants a job already filled by someone else, be honest and let the employee know that you can't give them what they want.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Saying Goodbye and Showing Appreciation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain your composure.\", \"描述\": \"Handle the resignation professionally. This is especially important when you are handed the resignation letter in person and are receiving the first notice of the employee’s leaving. Do not react emotionally. If you respond negatively, the employee may become offended and lash out at you or their coworkers.\\nA sour employee can make the few weeks they remain at the company a nightmare.\\nResponding with sadness, shock, or grief, while understandable, could make the situation even more stressful and difficult for the resigning employee.\\nDo not add to the employee’s stress and discomfort by asking them to stay (unless you offer an improved salary and benefits as well).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer the employee a letter of recommendation.\", \"描述\": \"These should accurately describe what the employee’s responsibilities were. Work with them if they desire specifics in their letter about the work they did for your firm, but be honest and sincere. Keep your letters of recommendation brief and to the point. If the company receiving the letter has questions, they will contact you.\\nBegin a standard letter of rec with a salutation (“dear so-and-so”).\\nInclude a description of how you know the resigning individual and describe your experience working with them.\\nInclude a litany of qualities which make the employee attractive to you and, presumably, to another employer.\\nAdd concrete examples to back up your praise. For instance, if you say someone is creative, cite 3-4 instances of their creative problem-solving.\\nDeclare that the employee will continue to excel in their chosen profession.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let the gang know.\", \"描述\": \"Send out a memo or email to the resigning employee’s coworkers announcing the resignation. Let them know regretfully that the employee in question is leaving, and on behalf of the company you wish them well in their future endeavors.\\n\\n “It is with deep regret that I must inform you that [employee’s name] will be moving to another position.\\\"\\n \\\"Their last day will be [employee’s last day].\\\"\\n \\\"Please join me in wishing him/her well in all future endeavors.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Celebrate the employee’s decision.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you are disappointed to see a good worker (and maybe even a good friend) leave, it is important that they know their work and contributions were valued. Throw a work party at the end of their last day to let them know. If you don’t want to take office time away from everyone, arrange for everyone to meet for drinks after the end of the employee’s last work day. If you think a more intimate send-off is appropriate, have a small team lunch on the employee’s last day.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Leave the door open.\", \"描述\": \"Extend the opportunity to the employee to return if they find their new employer doesn’t work out. Let them know they will always have a home at your business.\\nWhen outgoing employees feel their work was appreciated and they were valued, they will act as goodwill ambassadors for your firm.\\nThey might recommend your company to other potential employees and partner businesses or agencies.\\nThe connections your employee gains in his or her next position could benefit you as well.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always require employees to submit a written notice of resignation. Verbal resignations (“I quit!”) may later lead to claims of unfair dismissal by employees.[16]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nOfficial UK government website\\nOfficial website for the public sector of the UK government\\nGo to source\\n\", \"The way you respond to an employee resignation directly impacts how the rest of your employees see you and treat the outgoing employee. If you respond with rancor, frustration, resentment, and disappointment, your employees may treat the outgoing employee badly. Whether you are disappointed or elated they are leaving, accept the employee’s decision to resign with a positive attitude.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Burning bridges is never a good idea, especially when dealing with an employee who has played a critical role in the success of your company.\\n\", \"Every state has different laws about employment relationships. Make sure you understand and comply with all state and local laws where you work.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
150 | How to Accept a Settlement Offer | 1. Understanding Settlement Opportunities
1-1. Pay attention to timing.
A settlement offer may be made at any point during a civil lawsuit or administrative proceeding. The other side can even make a settlement offer after the trial has begun.
A settlement offer during trial might mean that the other side thinks it’s going to lose and wants a more predictable way out of the situation. This is especially true if you’re involved in a jury trial.
A settlement offer early on in the proceedings, such as right after you’ve filed your petition, probably indicates a desire to get rid of the situation as quickly as possible.
Settling a case early allows for a quick resolution but might mean you get less out of the deal than you would if you knew more about the issue at hand.
Sometimes a company offers an early settlement because it doesn’t want to disclose sensitive information or trade secrets, or because it fears other parties will file similar suits.
1-2. Use a settlement to avoid risk.
Whether you’re a plaintiff suing someone else or a defendant who’s been sued, a settlement provides the same opportunity to avoid the financial and emotional costs of litigation and create certainty in the outcome.
For a plaintiff, accepting a settlement offer may mean taking less money than the maximum you could have received if you’d gone to trial. However, you can never be certain about whether you’d receive everything you asked for at trial, whereas you can be sure of a settlement amount.
For a defendant, offering or accepting a settlement may mean paying more than you would have if you’d gone to court and won. If you don’t like your chances of winning at trial, though, a settlement may begin to look more attractive.
1-3. Take the opportunity to get creative.
A settlement offer allows you to craft terms that actually fit the nature of the issue and come closer to satisfying the needs of all involved.
Since a settlement offer is essentially a contract between the parties, you can feel free to suggest -- and agree to -- terms that might not have been available if you tried your case in court.
For example, some settlement agreements require one party to make a formal apology to the other for the wrongs committed. In employment discrimination cases, the settlement might also include a neutral reference indicating the employee resigned for personal reasons.
2. Evaluating Settlement Terms
2-1. Consider whether you want a confidentiality clause.
Many settlement agreements include a clause that forbids the parties from disclosing the settlement’s amount or terms to anyone else.
Large corporations often want confidentiality clauses to maintain positive public relations and avoid exposure to copycat suits.
Aggrieved plaintiffs may prefer an open settlement agreement because they want the public to know about a particular injustice. Allowing a settlement’s terms to be made public also allows attorneys to adequately ascertain the value of similar cases that may arise in the future.
If there is disagreement about including a confidentiality clause in your settlement agreement, the total amount of the settlement may be adjusted to compensate for a compromise.
For example, if you sue a chemical company and they want a confidentiality clause but you want the world to know of the company’s pollution practices, you might be willing to take less money if the confidentiality clause went away.
2-2. Know your acceptable payout range.
Whichever side of the table you’re on, make sure you know where your floor -- or ceiling -- is. Once you set the minimum you’re willing to accept -- or the most you’re willing to pay -- don’t budge from that number.
If you’re unsure how to value your case, consult an attorney with experience in that area of law and she can help you.
Beyond dollar figures, assessing your priorities can help you arrive at an ideal settlement.
For example, suppose you slip and fall at your local donut shop, dislocating your hip. The donut shop is willing to pay your medical bills and lost wages, but balks at paying damages you think you’re entitled to receive for your pain and suffering. However, the donut shop offers to provide you and your close family free donuts for life. Such an offer might sweeten the deal to the point that you’re willing to accept far less money than you would otherwise.
2-3. Ensure terms don’t violate state or federal law.
A number of contract terms are considered against public policy and illegal under state or federal law. At best, a judge would rule that term void; at worst, the inclusion of such a term could void the entire settlement.
The best way to guarantee your settlement doesn’t include any terms that violate the law is to hire an attorney. Attorneys are bound by professional ethics rules and bar regulations to alert you to illegal terms and have them removed.
3. Accepting the Settlement Offer
3-1. Draft the agreement.
In many legal contexts, it’s standard practice for the defense attorney to draft the agreement. However, in some situations the plaintiff may draft it, particularly if the offer was initiated with the plaintiff.
If both sides have attorneys, professional ethics rules dictate that all settlement offers must be communicated between attorneys, who then have an immediate duty to inform their respective clients.
If you still don’t have an attorney at this stage, it’s highly recommended that you hire someone to at least look over the terms of the agreement and ensure it reflects your understanding and intent.
Attorneys typically draft settlement agreements based on language from previous similar agreements and from reference to legal sources. Without an attorney’s assistance you may neglect to include key provisions.
3-2. Carefully read terms.
Whether your side or the other side drafts the settlement agreement, read it several times and make sure you understand everything in it.
Consult an attorney if you haven’t already. The settlement agreement could affect your legal rights and obligations and may preclude you from taking further legal action on this case or similar ones that might arise in the future.
Discussing the terms with someone who is familiar with civil litigation may significantly improve your chances of getting a favorable settlement.
3-3. Sign the agreement.
Once you’re sure you understand the terms thoroughly, all parties must sign the agreement so it becomes legally binding.
You may meet up with the other side and all sign the agreement at once, or you may sign it and send a copy via mail, email or fax. Regardless, all parties to the settlement must sign the same document.
If you are suing a corporation or an insurance company, an authorized representative will sign on behalf of the business entity. For example, if you have an insurance company involved in your workers’ compensation lawsuit, the settlement agreement may be signed by the claims adjuster assigned to your case.
3-4. Make the exchange bargained for in the settlement agreement.
Typically, this involves the plaintiff’s side showing proof the lawsuit was dismissed and the defendant’s side handing over a check for the full settlement amount.
3-5. Inform the court or administrative agency where the cause of action was filed of the parties’ decision to settle.
In many legal contexts such as class actions or workers’ compensation lawsuits, state or federal law requires court approval of any settlement made by the parties. In these situations, the settlement is not legally binding until approved.
If you’re not sure whether your settlement requires judicial approval, consult a licensed attorney experienced in that area of law.
If court approval is required, an attorney can make sure all the correct language is in place to get your settlement over this last hurdle.
Tips
Most plaintiff’s attorneys in the U.S. charge a contingency fee, which means you won’t have to pay up front to have an attorney review your settlement. Instead, the attorney will charge a percentage of your settlement.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Understanding Settlement Opportunities\\n1-1. Pay attention to timing.\\nA settlement offer may be made at any point during a civil lawsuit or administrative proceeding. The other side can even make a settlement offer after the trial has begun.\\nA settlement offer during trial might mean that the other side thinks it’s going to lose and wants a more predictable way out of the situation. This is especially true if you’re involved in a jury trial.\\nA settlement offer early on in the proceedings, such as right after you’ve filed your petition, probably indicates a desire to get rid of the situation as quickly as possible.\\nSettling a case early allows for a quick resolution but might mean you get less out of the deal than you would if you knew more about the issue at hand.\\nSometimes a company offers an early settlement because it doesn’t want to disclose sensitive information or trade secrets, or because it fears other parties will file similar suits.\\n1-2. Use a settlement to avoid risk.\\nWhether you’re a plaintiff suing someone else or a defendant who’s been sued, a settlement provides the same opportunity to avoid the financial and emotional costs of litigation and create certainty in the outcome.\\nFor a plaintiff, accepting a settlement offer may mean taking less money than the maximum you could have received if you’d gone to trial. However, you can never be certain about whether you’d receive everything you asked for at trial, whereas you can be sure of a settlement amount.\\nFor a defendant, offering or accepting a settlement may mean paying more than you would have if you’d gone to court and won. If you don’t like your chances of winning at trial, though, a settlement may begin to look more attractive.\\n1-3. Take the opportunity to get creative.\\nA settlement offer allows you to craft terms that actually fit the nature of the issue and come closer to satisfying the needs of all involved.\\nSince a settlement offer is essentially a contract between the parties, you can feel free to suggest -- and agree to -- terms that might not have been available if you tried your case in court.\\nFor example, some settlement agreements require one party to make a formal apology to the other for the wrongs committed. In employment discrimination cases, the settlement might also include a neutral reference indicating the employee resigned for personal reasons.\\n2. Evaluating Settlement Terms\\n2-1. Consider whether you want a confidentiality clause.\\nMany settlement agreements include a clause that forbids the parties from disclosing the settlement’s amount or terms to anyone else.\\nLarge corporations often want confidentiality clauses to maintain positive public relations and avoid exposure to copycat suits.\\nAggrieved plaintiffs may prefer an open settlement agreement because they want the public to know about a particular injustice. Allowing a settlement’s terms to be made public also allows attorneys to adequately ascertain the value of similar cases that may arise in the future.\\nIf there is disagreement about including a confidentiality clause in your settlement agreement, the total amount of the settlement may be adjusted to compensate for a compromise.\\nFor example, if you sue a chemical company and they want a confidentiality clause but you want the world to know of the company’s pollution practices, you might be willing to take less money if the confidentiality clause went away.\\n2-2. Know your acceptable payout range.\\nWhichever side of the table you’re on, make sure you know where your floor -- or ceiling -- is. Once you set the minimum you’re willing to accept -- or the most you’re willing to pay -- don’t budge from that number.\\nIf you’re unsure how to value your case, consult an attorney with experience in that area of law and she can help you.\\nBeyond dollar figures, assessing your priorities can help you arrive at an ideal settlement.\\nFor example, suppose you slip and fall at your local donut shop, dislocating your hip. The donut shop is willing to pay your medical bills and lost wages, but balks at paying damages you think you’re entitled to receive for your pain and suffering. However, the donut shop offers to provide you and your close family free donuts for life. Such an offer might sweeten the deal to the point that you’re willing to accept far less money than you would otherwise.\\n2-3. Ensure terms don’t violate state or federal law.\\nA number of contract terms are considered against public policy and illegal under state or federal law. At best, a judge would rule that term void; at worst, the inclusion of such a term could void the entire settlement.\\nThe best way to guarantee your settlement doesn’t include any terms that violate the law is to hire an attorney. Attorneys are bound by professional ethics rules and bar regulations to alert you to illegal terms and have them removed.\\n3. Accepting the Settlement Offer\\n3-1. Draft the agreement.\\nIn many legal contexts, it’s standard practice for the defense attorney to draft the agreement. However, in some situations the plaintiff may draft it, particularly if the offer was initiated with the plaintiff.\\nIf both sides have attorneys, professional ethics rules dictate that all settlement offers must be communicated between attorneys, who then have an immediate duty to inform their respective clients.\\nIf you still don’t have an attorney at this stage, it’s highly recommended that you hire someone to at least look over the terms of the agreement and ensure it reflects your understanding and intent.\\nAttorneys typically draft settlement agreements based on language from previous similar agreements and from reference to legal sources. Without an attorney’s assistance you may neglect to include key provisions.\\n3-2. Carefully read terms.\\nWhether your side or the other side drafts the settlement agreement, read it several times and make sure you understand everything in it.\\nConsult an attorney if you haven’t already. The settlement agreement could affect your legal rights and obligations and may preclude you from taking further legal action on this case or similar ones that might arise in the future.\\nDiscussing the terms with someone who is familiar with civil litigation may significantly improve your chances of getting a favorable settlement.\\n3-3. Sign the agreement.\\nOnce you’re sure you understand the terms thoroughly, all parties must sign the agreement so it becomes legally binding. \\nYou may meet up with the other side and all sign the agreement at once, or you may sign it and send a copy via mail, email or fax. Regardless, all parties to the settlement must sign the same document.\\nIf you are suing a corporation or an insurance company, an authorized representative will sign on behalf of the business entity. For example, if you have an insurance company involved in your workers’ compensation lawsuit, the settlement agreement may be signed by the claims adjuster assigned to your case.\\n3-4. Make the exchange bargained for in the settlement agreement.\\nTypically, this involves the plaintiff’s side showing proof the lawsuit was dismissed and the defendant’s side handing over a check for the full settlement amount.\\n3-5. Inform the court or administrative agency where the cause of action was filed of the parties’ decision to settle.\\nIn many legal contexts such as class actions or workers’ compensation lawsuits, state or federal law requires court approval of any settlement made by the parties. In these situations, the settlement is not legally binding until approved. \\nIf you’re not sure whether your settlement requires judicial approval, consult a licensed attorney experienced in that area of law.\\nIf court approval is required, an attorney can make sure all the correct language is in place to get your settlement over this last hurdle.\\nTips\\nMost plaintiff’s attorneys in the U.S. charge a contingency fee, which means you won’t have to pay up front to have an attorney review your settlement. Instead, the attorney will charge a percentage of your settlement.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you think of a civil lawsuit, you probably imagine scenes from a tense courtroom drama with clever and confrontational attorneys and at least one shocking revelation or emotional outburst on the stand. However, the reality in the United States is that most cases -- as many as 90 percent by some estimates -- settle before the judge ever bangs the gavel. While accepting a settlement offer may sound like giving up, it actually gives you the opportunity to realize greater gains with much less risk.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understanding Settlement Opportunities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to timing.\", \"描述\": \"A settlement offer may be made at any point during a civil lawsuit or administrative proceeding. The other side can even make a settlement offer after the trial has begun.\\nA settlement offer during trial might mean that the other side thinks it’s going to lose and wants a more predictable way out of the situation. This is especially true if you’re involved in a jury trial.\\nA settlement offer early on in the proceedings, such as right after you’ve filed your petition, probably indicates a desire to get rid of the situation as quickly as possible.\\nSettling a case early allows for a quick resolution but might mean you get less out of the deal than you would if you knew more about the issue at hand.\\nSometimes a company offers an early settlement because it doesn’t want to disclose sensitive information or trade secrets, or because it fears other parties will file similar suits.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a settlement to avoid risk.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re a plaintiff suing someone else or a defendant who’s been sued, a settlement provides the same opportunity to avoid the financial and emotional costs of litigation and create certainty in the outcome.\\nFor a plaintiff, accepting a settlement offer may mean taking less money than the maximum you could have received if you’d gone to trial. However, you can never be certain about whether you’d receive everything you asked for at trial, whereas you can be sure of a settlement amount.\\nFor a defendant, offering or accepting a settlement may mean paying more than you would have if you’d gone to court and won. If you don’t like your chances of winning at trial, though, a settlement may begin to look more attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take the opportunity to get creative.\", \"描述\": \"A settlement offer allows you to craft terms that actually fit the nature of the issue and come closer to satisfying the needs of all involved.\\nSince a settlement offer is essentially a contract between the parties, you can feel free to suggest -- and agree to -- terms that might not have been available if you tried your case in court.\\nFor example, some settlement agreements require one party to make a formal apology to the other for the wrongs committed. In employment discrimination cases, the settlement might also include a neutral reference indicating the employee resigned for personal reasons.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Settlement Terms\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider whether you want a confidentiality clause.\", \"描述\": \"Many settlement agreements include a clause that forbids the parties from disclosing the settlement’s amount or terms to anyone else.\\nLarge corporations often want confidentiality clauses to maintain positive public relations and avoid exposure to copycat suits.\\nAggrieved plaintiffs may prefer an open settlement agreement because they want the public to know about a particular injustice. Allowing a settlement’s terms to be made public also allows attorneys to adequately ascertain the value of similar cases that may arise in the future.\\nIf there is disagreement about including a confidentiality clause in your settlement agreement, the total amount of the settlement may be adjusted to compensate for a compromise.\\nFor example, if you sue a chemical company and they want a confidentiality clause but you want the world to know of the company’s pollution practices, you might be willing to take less money if the confidentiality clause went away.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Know your acceptable payout range.\", \"描述\": \"Whichever side of the table you’re on, make sure you know where your floor -- or ceiling -- is. Once you set the minimum you’re willing to accept -- or the most you’re willing to pay -- don’t budge from that number.\\nIf you’re unsure how to value your case, consult an attorney with experience in that area of law and she can help you.\\nBeyond dollar figures, assessing your priorities can help you arrive at an ideal settlement.\\nFor example, suppose you slip and fall at your local donut shop, dislocating your hip. The donut shop is willing to pay your medical bills and lost wages, but balks at paying damages you think you’re entitled to receive for your pain and suffering. However, the donut shop offers to provide you and your close family free donuts for life. Such an offer might sweeten the deal to the point that you’re willing to accept far less money than you would otherwise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ensure terms don’t violate state or federal law.\", \"描述\": \"A number of contract terms are considered against public policy and illegal under state or federal law. At best, a judge would rule that term void; at worst, the inclusion of such a term could void the entire settlement.\\nThe best way to guarantee your settlement doesn’t include any terms that violate the law is to hire an attorney. Attorneys are bound by professional ethics rules and bar regulations to alert you to illegal terms and have them removed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accepting the Settlement Offer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Draft the agreement.\", \"描述\": \"In many legal contexts, it’s standard practice for the defense attorney to draft the agreement. However, in some situations the plaintiff may draft it, particularly if the offer was initiated with the plaintiff.\\nIf both sides have attorneys, professional ethics rules dictate that all settlement offers must be communicated between attorneys, who then have an immediate duty to inform their respective clients.\\nIf you still don’t have an attorney at this stage, it’s highly recommended that you hire someone to at least look over the terms of the agreement and ensure it reflects your understanding and intent.\\nAttorneys typically draft settlement agreements based on language from previous similar agreements and from reference to legal sources. Without an attorney’s assistance you may neglect to include key provisions.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Carefully read terms.\", \"描述\": \"Whether your side or the other side drafts the settlement agreement, read it several times and make sure you understand everything in it.\\nConsult an attorney if you haven’t already. The settlement agreement could affect your legal rights and obligations and may preclude you from taking further legal action on this case or similar ones that might arise in the future.\\nDiscussing the terms with someone who is familiar with civil litigation may significantly improve your chances of getting a favorable settlement.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign the agreement.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’re sure you understand the terms thoroughly, all parties must sign the agreement so it becomes legally binding. \\nYou may meet up with the other side and all sign the agreement at once, or you may sign it and send a copy via mail, email or fax. Regardless, all parties to the settlement must sign the same document.\\nIf you are suing a corporation or an insurance company, an authorized representative will sign on behalf of the business entity. For example, if you have an insurance company involved in your workers’ compensation lawsuit, the settlement agreement may be signed by the claims adjuster assigned to your case.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make the exchange bargained for in the settlement agreement.\", \"描述\": \"Typically, this involves the plaintiff’s side showing proof the lawsuit was dismissed and the defendant’s side handing over a check for the full settlement amount.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Inform the court or administrative agency where the cause of action was filed of the parties’ decision to settle.\", \"描述\": \"In many legal contexts such as class actions or workers’ compensation lawsuits, state or federal law requires court approval of any settlement made by the parties. In these situations, the settlement is not legally binding until approved. \\nIf you’re not sure whether your settlement requires judicial approval, consult a licensed attorney experienced in that area of law.\\nIf court approval is required, an attorney can make sure all the correct language is in place to get your settlement over this last hurdle.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Most plaintiff’s attorneys in the U.S. charge a contingency fee, which means you won’t have to pay up front to have an attorney review your settlement. Instead, the attorney will charge a percentage of your settlement.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
151 | How to Accept an Apology | 1. Assessing the Apology
1-1. Pay attention to the phrasing of the apology.
Note if they use “I” statements, such as “I realize now what I did was wrong and I regret what I did.” This shows that the person is taking responsibility for their actions, a key part of an effective apology. Also, listen to their tone of voice and their body language. Most people maintain eye contact and use a sincere tone of voice when they are apologizing. Avoidance of eye contact, or a flat or sarcastic tone, may signal that a person isn't being serious.
An authentic apology should be direct and heartfelt. For example: “I realize now that what I did was wrong and I regret it. I apologize for my actions and hope you can find a way to forgive me.”
Keep in mind that body language can vary based on a person's background and disability. For example, someone with social anxiety might avoid eye contact while being sincere. However, apathy speaks all languages, so a person who is ho-hum about saying sorry will be evident.
Beware the "fauxpology" or non-apology. This can include such phrases as: "I am sorry you were offended by that"; "I'm sorry you feel that way"; "I didn't intend that"; "Mistakes were made but we can move on now", etc. These types of "apology" are a form of distancing the person who is apologizing from the act that caused harm and shows an unwillingness to take responsibility.
1-2. Watch for any passive aggressive phrasing in the apology.
This may be a sign the apology is not genuine. If someone doesn't really want to apologize, they may be quick to point out how you were wrong, or blame you for most or all of what happened. This type of phrasing could be a sign that the apology is not heartfelt and is really a way for the person to pass responsibility or blame for what happened onto you or to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
For example, a passive aggressive apology might be: “Well, I asked you to go to the party with me, but you refused. I went alone and lied to you about it. If you'd said yes in the first place, I wouldn't have had to lie. Sorry.”
In the above example, this person may not be giving you an authentic apology and may just be leaning on a bad habit of using an insincere apology to get out of a sticky situation.
1-3. Rely on your gut instinct.
For all the analysis you can do on a person's intentions, often your gut instinct can be a good gauge of whether or not to trust and accept the person's apology. Take a moment to consider the apology and listen to your gut feelings about the person and their apology. Ask yourself:
Is your gut telling you the person is being honest and sincere?
Did they ask for forgiveness and promise to not repeat the behavior? These are two key elements that are essential to a sincere apology. (The other key element discussed above is acceptance of responsibility and not blame-shifting.)
Do you have any feelings of doubt or confusion around the person? If the apology creates in you a sense of "fear, obligation, guilt" (FOG for short or emotional blackmail), then it isn't an apology but rather a manipulation tactic designed to keep you under their control and to stop you from questioning their actions.
Does the apology to you sound sincere?
1-4. Consider if you are ready to accept the person’s apology.
Before you accept the apology, you may want to consider the context around the apology and how well you know the person. For example:
If the person apologizing is a close friend or family member who already has a history of bad behavior, ask yourself if they're using apologies to try to avoid facing consequences. Prior bad behavior with promises to change that didn't eventuate can reveal a tendency to use apologizing as a crutch to evade taking responsibility for their actions.
If a family member or partner is apologizing to you for something out of character and rare, you may be more amenable to accepting their apology.
Is this person an habitual apologizer? In this case, it can be difficult to know when an apology is genuine because of their habit of excessively saying sorry can immunize you against their genuine apologies. To move beyond their "I'm sorry," check they've taken responsibility, shown regret, asked for forgiveness and have promised to not do it again.
1-5. Give yourself time or have a longer conversation if you need to.
People make mistakes or hurt others for a variety of reasons. It's important that you are willing to move past the person’s mistake, especially if they offer a sincere apology. If you are still questioning whether or not you believe the person’s apologetic tone, you may want to have a longer conversation with them about your concerns.
This may be a better approach than accepting an apology you do not believe is sincere and remaining resentful or upset, despite appearing to be okay with the situation. It also allows you to express clearly what it is exactly that has hurt you and to identify the harm they've caused that you'd like them to address.
2. Accepting the Apology
2-1. Thank the person for the apology.
Start by telling the person you appreciate their apology and their willingness to make amends. This could be a simple, “Thank you for apologizing” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you.”
Listen sincerely. It is both right and normal to expect a sincere apology but there is also a responsibility to genuinely listen to the apology. This means not interrupting, not criticizing and not starting an argument during or about the apology.
Avoid brushing off the person’s apology by saying “It’s fine” or “It’s nothing”. This can hurt their feelings by making their apology seem unimportant and leave the situation unresolved. It can also give them a sense you are feeling hostile toward them, which can fester and prevent true resolution of the matter. If you need time to digest things still, make that clear, such as saying: "Thanks, I appreciate your apology. I am hurting still and just need time before I can feel that it's okay to trust this won't happen again."
Be willing to show gratitude to the person for getting up the courage to apologize and admit their mistake.
2-2. Explain that your feelings were/remain hurt.
Once you thank the person for their apology, it is valuable to make it clear that your feelings were/remain hurt and be specific about how the person has hurt you. This will indicate that you are being honest about your emotions and you are not being casual or flippant about the situation. You may say: “Thank you for apologizing. I was really hurt when you lied to me” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you. It hurt my feelings when you yelled at me in front of my parents.”
Be clear and direct about how you felt when the person behaved badly, but don't use a passive aggressive tone and avoid criticizing them. Be as sincere and honest as they were when they apologized.
2-3. Say “I understand” rather than “it’s okay”.
Finish the acceptance by saying you understand why the person did what they did and that you are willing to accept their apology and move forward. You may say: “I understand why you felt the need to lie and I accept your apology”.
Phrases like “it’s okay” or “let’s forget it” won't make it clear if you accepted the apology. It may also come across as flippant, belittling and disrespectful, especially if the person was serious about their apology. Try to remember that it takes a lot of courage for anyone to admit they're wrong about something and treat their attempt as genuine until proven otherwise.
2-4. Reply to an apology text with clear, concise language.
Getting an apology over text isn’t as good as getting one in person, but it’s the next best thing. If you do get an apology from someone via text message, you can follow the same steps as a normal acceptance, but make sure to spell it out clearly so the person knows how you’re feeling. Don’t let them off the hook just because they’re not in the room with you, and make sure they know how much they hurt you.
For example, you could type out, “Thanks for your apology, I needed to hear that. I was really hurt the other day when you were ignoring me in class, but I understand what you were going through and how bad your day was.”
You can also request to talk to the person face to face or via video chat instead of texting about it.
3. Putting Your Acceptance into Action
3-1. Try to get back to normal.
You’ve accepted someone’s apology—now what? Things might feel a little awkward at first, and you both might get a little uncomfortable. However, if you can push through that and change the topic of conversation or move on from it, you can begin to accept the person back into your life and get your relationship back on track.
Things might not feel normal right away, and you might still need some time after the person has apologized. Expect a little bit of a rough patch following the apology.
You can even address the awkwardness (if there is any) by saying something like, “Well, that’s over now. Should we get back to business as usual?” Or, “Okay, let’s stop being so serious now.”
3-2. Work on forgiveness by practicing self-soothing.
Although you accepted someone’s apology, it might be harder to get over than you thought. When you think about the bad thing that happened to you, you might feel anxious, sad, or stressed all over again, which is totally normal. If you are working toward forgiveness, you can do some self-soothing methods, like deep breathing, meditation, or other self-care methods that relax you. That way, you can ease the pain of what happened and work on feeling better about the person you are forgiving.
Forgiveness doesn’t happen immediately, and it may never happen at all. Be open to forgiveness, but don’t expect it overnight.
3-3. Suggest spending quality time with the person.
Another way to put your forgiveness into action is to show the person that you are actively striving to accept their apology by setting the restart button. Suggest spending quality time together to show the person you still enjoy their company and want to continue to be friends. If you need to, remind them that you are working on forgiveness but that while pain is still fresh, ask that they don't try to act like things are normal again; after all, both of you are now trying for a new normal and that this is about healing after the harm.
Plan an activity where you both have to work together, like playing a sport, going on a day hike, doing a community class together, etc. This could show that you're willing to rebuild trust and renew friendship.
Suggest doing something that you both enjoyed in the past as a way to show you're willing to move past any negativity and focus on the positive times instead.
3-4. Be prepared if any issues or problems arise between you and the person again.
While you should commit yourself to trying to fully trust the person again, especially if they give you a heartfelt apology and you accept it, you should also be on the look out for warning signs. These could be small moments that indicate the person may make the same mistake again or may be falling back into bad habits that could lead to an issue and the need for another apology. Try to steer the person away from making another mistake or hurting you again like they did before.
For example, if the person is starting to show up late for your dates again, mention it, as they may not be aware of it. Remind them that you find it hurtful when they do this. This may help encourage them to work harder.
4. Dealing with Tough Situations
4-1. End the relationship if you can’t move on.
Forgiving someone is one thing, but forgetting is another. Even if you forgave someone, you might not be able to move on from what they’ve done. In that case, you should end the relationship for the benefit of both of you. Healthy relationships can’t thrive if there’s resentment on either end.
You can say something like, “I accepted your apology the other day, but I’m just not sure I can move on from what you did. I’m sorry, but I think we’re going to have to split.”
Or, “Your friendship means a lot to me, but I’m still thinking about what happened last month. I don’t think I’ll be able to move on, and I need to take some time for myself.”
4-2. Be wary of people who continue their bad behavior.
Giving someone a second chance is fine. But a third one? Or a fourth? There comes a time when someone is only apologizing because they know you’ll accept it and they can walk all over you. If your friend or partner continues to do something bad and then apologize for it, they may not be apologizing for the right reasons. Eventually, you may have to end the relationship if they don’t correct their behavior.
The best apology is done with actions, not words. If someone continues to do something that they know will hurt you, they aren’t actually sorry about it.
4-3. Agree with someone who over-apologizes.
If there is someone in your life who won’t stop apologizing, it’s probably because they feel really guilty. However, hearing “I’m sorry” 20 times in a row can be grating, and it might make you feel worse than what they did before. To get the person to stop apologizing, try agreeing with them. Instead of saying “It’s okay, it’s fine,” try “You know what? You’re right. You did hurt my feelings, and I’m glad you’re apologizing.”
Usually, this will be enough to snap them out of it and it might make you both feel better.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assessing the Apology\\n1-1. Pay attention to the phrasing of the apology.\\nNote if they use “I” statements, such as “I realize now what I did was wrong and I regret what I did.” This shows that the person is taking responsibility for their actions, a key part of an effective apology. Also, listen to their tone of voice and their body language. Most people maintain eye contact and use a sincere tone of voice when they are apologizing. Avoidance of eye contact, or a flat or sarcastic tone, may signal that a person isn't being serious.\\nAn authentic apology should be direct and heartfelt. For example: “I realize now that what I did was wrong and I regret it. I apologize for my actions and hope you can find a way to forgive me.”\\nKeep in mind that body language can vary based on a person's background and disability. For example, someone with social anxiety might avoid eye contact while being sincere. However, apathy speaks all languages, so a person who is ho-hum about saying sorry will be evident.\\nBeware the \\\"fauxpology\\\" or non-apology. This can include such phrases as: \\\"I am sorry you were offended by that\\\"; \\\"I'm sorry you feel that way\\\"; \\\"I didn't intend that\\\"; \\\"Mistakes were made but we can move on now\\\", etc. These types of \\\"apology\\\" are a form of distancing the person who is apologizing from the act that caused harm and shows an unwillingness to take responsibility.\\n1-2. Watch for any passive aggressive phrasing in the apology.\\nThis may be a sign the apology is not genuine. If someone doesn't really want to apologize, they may be quick to point out how you were wrong, or blame you for most or all of what happened. This type of phrasing could be a sign that the apology is not heartfelt and is really a way for the person to pass responsibility or blame for what happened onto you or to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions.\\nFor example, a passive aggressive apology might be: “Well, I asked you to go to the party with me, but you refused. I went alone and lied to you about it. If you'd said yes in the first place, I wouldn't have had to lie. Sorry.”\\nIn the above example, this person may not be giving you an authentic apology and may just be leaning on a bad habit of using an insincere apology to get out of a sticky situation.\\n1-3. Rely on your gut instinct.\\nFor all the analysis you can do on a person's intentions, often your gut instinct can be a good gauge of whether or not to trust and accept the person's apology. Take a moment to consider the apology and listen to your gut feelings about the person and their apology. Ask yourself:\\nIs your gut telling you the person is being honest and sincere?\\nDid they ask for forgiveness and promise to not repeat the behavior? These are two key elements that are essential to a sincere apology. (The other key element discussed above is acceptance of responsibility and not blame-shifting.)\\nDo you have any feelings of doubt or confusion around the person? If the apology creates in you a sense of \\\"fear, obligation, guilt\\\" (FOG for short or emotional blackmail), then it isn't an apology but rather a manipulation tactic designed to keep you under their control and to stop you from questioning their actions.\\nDoes the apology to you sound sincere?\\n1-4. Consider if you are ready to accept the person’s apology.\\nBefore you accept the apology, you may want to consider the context around the apology and how well you know the person. For example:\\nIf the person apologizing is a close friend or family member who already has a history of bad behavior, ask yourself if they're using apologies to try to avoid facing consequences. Prior bad behavior with promises to change that didn't eventuate can reveal a tendency to use apologizing as a crutch to evade taking responsibility for their actions.\\nIf a family member or partner is apologizing to you for something out of character and rare, you may be more amenable to accepting their apology.\\nIs this person an habitual apologizer? In this case, it can be difficult to know when an apology is genuine because of their habit of excessively saying sorry can immunize you against their genuine apologies. To move beyond their \\\"I'm sorry,\\\" check they've taken responsibility, shown regret, asked for forgiveness and have promised to not do it again.\\n1-5. Give yourself time or have a longer conversation if you need to.\\nPeople make mistakes or hurt others for a variety of reasons. It's important that you are willing to move past the person’s mistake, especially if they offer a sincere apology. If you are still questioning whether or not you believe the person’s apologetic tone, you may want to have a longer conversation with them about your concerns.\\nThis may be a better approach than accepting an apology you do not believe is sincere and remaining resentful or upset, despite appearing to be okay with the situation. It also allows you to express clearly what it is exactly that has hurt you and to identify the harm they've caused that you'd like them to address.\\n2. Accepting the Apology\\n2-1. Thank the person for the apology.\\nStart by telling the person you appreciate their apology and their willingness to make amends. This could be a simple, “Thank you for apologizing” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you.”\\nListen sincerely. It is both right and normal to expect a sincere apology but there is also a responsibility to genuinely listen to the apology. This means not interrupting, not criticizing and not starting an argument during or about the apology.\\nAvoid brushing off the person’s apology by saying “It’s fine” or “It’s nothing”. This can hurt their feelings by making their apology seem unimportant and leave the situation unresolved. It can also give them a sense you are feeling hostile toward them, which can fester and prevent true resolution of the matter. If you need time to digest things still, make that clear, such as saying: \\\"Thanks, I appreciate your apology. I am hurting still and just need time before I can feel that it's okay to trust this won't happen again.\\\"\\nBe willing to show gratitude to the person for getting up the courage to apologize and admit their mistake.\\n2-2. Explain that your feelings were/remain hurt.\\nOnce you thank the person for their apology, it is valuable to make it clear that your feelings were/remain hurt and be specific about how the person has hurt you. This will indicate that you are being honest about your emotions and you are not being casual or flippant about the situation. You may say: “Thank you for apologizing. I was really hurt when you lied to me” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you. It hurt my feelings when you yelled at me in front of my parents.”\\nBe clear and direct about how you felt when the person behaved badly, but don't use a passive aggressive tone and avoid criticizing them. Be as sincere and honest as they were when they apologized.\\n2-3. Say “I understand” rather than “it’s okay”.\\nFinish the acceptance by saying you understand why the person did what they did and that you are willing to accept their apology and move forward. You may say: “I understand why you felt the need to lie and I accept your apology”.\\nPhrases like “it’s okay” or “let’s forget it” won't make it clear if you accepted the apology. It may also come across as flippant, belittling and disrespectful, especially if the person was serious about their apology. Try to remember that it takes a lot of courage for anyone to admit they're wrong about something and treat their attempt as genuine until proven otherwise.\\n2-4. Reply to an apology text with clear, concise language.\\nGetting an apology over text isn’t as good as getting one in person, but it’s the next best thing. If you do get an apology from someone via text message, you can follow the same steps as a normal acceptance, but make sure to spell it out clearly so the person knows how you’re feeling. Don’t let them off the hook just because they’re not in the room with you, and make sure they know how much they hurt you.\\nFor example, you could type out, “Thanks for your apology, I needed to hear that. I was really hurt the other day when you were ignoring me in class, but I understand what you were going through and how bad your day was.”\\nYou can also request to talk to the person face to face or via video chat instead of texting about it.\\n3. Putting Your Acceptance into Action\\n3-1. Try to get back to normal.\\nYou’ve accepted someone’s apology—now what? Things might feel a little awkward at first, and you both might get a little uncomfortable. However, if you can push through that and change the topic of conversation or move on from it, you can begin to accept the person back into your life and get your relationship back on track.\\nThings might not feel normal right away, and you might still need some time after the person has apologized. Expect a little bit of a rough patch following the apology.\\nYou can even address the awkwardness (if there is any) by saying something like, “Well, that’s over now. Should we get back to business as usual?” Or, “Okay, let’s stop being so serious now.”\\n3-2. Work on forgiveness by practicing self-soothing.\\nAlthough you accepted someone’s apology, it might be harder to get over than you thought. When you think about the bad thing that happened to you, you might feel anxious, sad, or stressed all over again, which is totally normal. If you are working toward forgiveness, you can do some self-soothing methods, like deep breathing, meditation, or other self-care methods that relax you. That way, you can ease the pain of what happened and work on feeling better about the person you are forgiving.\\nForgiveness doesn’t happen immediately, and it may never happen at all. Be open to forgiveness, but don’t expect it overnight.\\n3-3. Suggest spending quality time with the person.\\nAnother way to put your forgiveness into action is to show the person that you are actively striving to accept their apology by setting the restart button. Suggest spending quality time together to show the person you still enjoy their company and want to continue to be friends. If you need to, remind them that you are working on forgiveness but that while pain is still fresh, ask that they don't try to act like things are normal again; after all, both of you are now trying for a new normal and that this is about healing after the harm.\\nPlan an activity where you both have to work together, like playing a sport, going on a day hike, doing a community class together, etc. This could show that you're willing to rebuild trust and renew friendship.\\nSuggest doing something that you both enjoyed in the past as a way to show you're willing to move past any negativity and focus on the positive times instead.\\n3-4. Be prepared if any issues or problems arise between you and the person again.\\nWhile you should commit yourself to trying to fully trust the person again, especially if they give you a heartfelt apology and you accept it, you should also be on the look out for warning signs. These could be small moments that indicate the person may make the same mistake again or may be falling back into bad habits that could lead to an issue and the need for another apology. Try to steer the person away from making another mistake or hurting you again like they did before.\\nFor example, if the person is starting to show up late for your dates again, mention it, as they may not be aware of it. Remind them that you find it hurtful when they do this. This may help encourage them to work harder.\\n4. Dealing with Tough Situations\\n4-1. End the relationship if you can’t move on.\\nForgiving someone is one thing, but forgetting is another. Even if you forgave someone, you might not be able to move on from what they’ve done. In that case, you should end the relationship for the benefit of both of you. Healthy relationships can’t thrive if there’s resentment on either end.\\nYou can say something like, “I accepted your apology the other day, but I’m just not sure I can move on from what you did. I’m sorry, but I think we’re going to have to split.”\\nOr, “Your friendship means a lot to me, but I’m still thinking about what happened last month. I don’t think I’ll be able to move on, and I need to take some time for myself.”\\n4-2. Be wary of people who continue their bad behavior.\\nGiving someone a second chance is fine. But a third one? Or a fourth? There comes a time when someone is only apologizing because they know you’ll accept it and they can walk all over you. If your friend or partner continues to do something bad and then apologize for it, they may not be apologizing for the right reasons. Eventually, you may have to end the relationship if they don’t correct their behavior.\\nThe best apology is done with actions, not words. If someone continues to do something that they know will hurt you, they aren’t actually sorry about it.\\n4-3. Agree with someone who over-apologizes.\\nIf there is someone in your life who won’t stop apologizing, it’s probably because they feel really guilty. However, hearing “I’m sorry” 20 times in a row can be grating, and it might make you feel worse than what they did before. To get the person to stop apologizing, try agreeing with them. Instead of saying “It’s okay, it’s fine,” try “You know what? You’re right. You did hurt my feelings, and I’m glad you’re apologizing.”\\nUsually, this will be enough to snap them out of it and it might make you both feel better.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Accepting an apology can be tough, especially if the person apologizing really hurt you. Maybe the apology isn’t sincere enough, maybe you need more time to think about it, or maybe you just don’t have the right words to express your feelings. However, once you make up your mind to accept the person’s apology, you can say so with your words and then work on forgiveness by yourself. If the apology seems genuine and sincere, for your own sake, try to accept the apology and then act on that acceptance by practicing forgiveness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to the phrasing of the apology.\", \"描述\": \"Note if they use “I” statements, such as “I realize now what I did was wrong and I regret what I did.” This shows that the person is taking responsibility for their actions, a key part of an effective apology. Also, listen to their tone of voice and their body language. Most people maintain eye contact and use a sincere tone of voice when they are apologizing. Avoidance of eye contact, or a flat or sarcastic tone, may signal that a person isn't being serious.\\nAn authentic apology should be direct and heartfelt. For example: “I realize now that what I did was wrong and I regret it. I apologize for my actions and hope you can find a way to forgive me.”\\nKeep in mind that body language can vary based on a person's background and disability. For example, someone with social anxiety might avoid eye contact while being sincere. However, apathy speaks all languages, so a person who is ho-hum about saying sorry will be evident.\\nBeware the \\\"fauxpology\\\" or non-apology. This can include such phrases as: \\\"I am sorry you were offended by that\\\"; \\\"I'm sorry you feel that way\\\"; \\\"I didn't intend that\\\"; \\\"Mistakes were made but we can move on now\\\", etc. These types of \\\"apology\\\" are a form of distancing the person who is apologizing from the act that caused harm and shows an unwillingness to take responsibility.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch for any passive aggressive phrasing in the apology.\", \"描述\": \"This may be a sign the apology is not genuine. If someone doesn't really want to apologize, they may be quick to point out how you were wrong, or blame you for most or all of what happened. This type of phrasing could be a sign that the apology is not heartfelt and is really a way for the person to pass responsibility or blame for what happened onto you or to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions.\\nFor example, a passive aggressive apology might be: “Well, I asked you to go to the party with me, but you refused. I went alone and lied to you about it. If you'd said yes in the first place, I wouldn't have had to lie. Sorry.”\\nIn the above example, this person may not be giving you an authentic apology and may just be leaning on a bad habit of using an insincere apology to get out of a sticky situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Rely on your gut instinct.\", \"描述\": \"For all the analysis you can do on a person's intentions, often your gut instinct can be a good gauge of whether or not to trust and accept the person's apology. Take a moment to consider the apology and listen to your gut feelings about the person and their apology. Ask yourself:\\nIs your gut telling you the person is being honest and sincere?\\nDid they ask for forgiveness and promise to not repeat the behavior? These are two key elements that are essential to a sincere apology. (The other key element discussed above is acceptance of responsibility and not blame-shifting.)\\nDo you have any feelings of doubt or confusion around the person? If the apology creates in you a sense of \\\"fear, obligation, guilt\\\" (FOG for short or emotional blackmail), then it isn't an apology but rather a manipulation tactic designed to keep you under their control and to stop you from questioning their actions.\\nDoes the apology to you sound sincere?\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider if you are ready to accept the person’s apology.\", \"描述\": \"Before you accept the apology, you may want to consider the context around the apology and how well you know the person. For example:\\nIf the person apologizing is a close friend or family member who already has a history of bad behavior, ask yourself if they're using apologies to try to avoid facing consequences. Prior bad behavior with promises to change that didn't eventuate can reveal a tendency to use apologizing as a crutch to evade taking responsibility for their actions.\\nIf a family member or partner is apologizing to you for something out of character and rare, you may be more amenable to accepting their apology.\\nIs this person an habitual apologizer? In this case, it can be difficult to know when an apology is genuine because of their habit of excessively saying sorry can immunize you against their genuine apologies. To move beyond their \\\"I'm sorry,\\\" check they've taken responsibility, shown regret, asked for forgiveness and have promised to not do it again.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time or have a longer conversation if you need to.\", \"描述\": \"People make mistakes or hurt others for a variety of reasons. It's important that you are willing to move past the person’s mistake, especially if they offer a sincere apology. If you are still questioning whether or not you believe the person’s apologetic tone, you may want to have a longer conversation with them about your concerns.\\nThis may be a better approach than accepting an apology you do not believe is sincere and remaining resentful or upset, despite appearing to be okay with the situation. It also allows you to express clearly what it is exactly that has hurt you and to identify the harm they've caused that you'd like them to address.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accepting the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thank the person for the apology.\", \"描述\": \"Start by telling the person you appreciate their apology and their willingness to make amends. This could be a simple, “Thank you for apologizing” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you.”\\nListen sincerely. It is both right and normal to expect a sincere apology but there is also a responsibility to genuinely listen to the apology. This means not interrupting, not criticizing and not starting an argument during or about the apology.\\nAvoid brushing off the person’s apology by saying “It’s fine” or “It’s nothing”. This can hurt their feelings by making their apology seem unimportant and leave the situation unresolved. It can also give them a sense you are feeling hostile toward them, which can fester and prevent true resolution of the matter. If you need time to digest things still, make that clear, such as saying: \\\"Thanks, I appreciate your apology. I am hurting still and just need time before I can feel that it's okay to trust this won't happen again.\\\"\\nBe willing to show gratitude to the person for getting up the courage to apologize and admit their mistake.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain that your feelings were/remain hurt.\", \"描述\": \"Once you thank the person for their apology, it is valuable to make it clear that your feelings were/remain hurt and be specific about how the person has hurt you. This will indicate that you are being honest about your emotions and you are not being casual or flippant about the situation. You may say: “Thank you for apologizing. I was really hurt when you lied to me” or “I appreciate your apology, thank you. It hurt my feelings when you yelled at me in front of my parents.”\\nBe clear and direct about how you felt when the person behaved badly, but don't use a passive aggressive tone and avoid criticizing them. Be as sincere and honest as they were when they apologized.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say “I understand” rather than “it’s okay”.\", \"描述\": \"Finish the acceptance by saying you understand why the person did what they did and that you are willing to accept their apology and move forward. You may say: “I understand why you felt the need to lie and I accept your apology”.\\nPhrases like “it’s okay” or “let’s forget it” won't make it clear if you accepted the apology. It may also come across as flippant, belittling and disrespectful, especially if the person was serious about their apology. Try to remember that it takes a lot of courage for anyone to admit they're wrong about something and treat their attempt as genuine until proven otherwise.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reply to an apology text with clear, concise language.\", \"描述\": \"Getting an apology over text isn’t as good as getting one in person, but it’s the next best thing. If you do get an apology from someone via text message, you can follow the same steps as a normal acceptance, but make sure to spell it out clearly so the person knows how you’re feeling. Don’t let them off the hook just because they’re not in the room with you, and make sure they know how much they hurt you.\\nFor example, you could type out, “Thanks for your apology, I needed to hear that. I was really hurt the other day when you were ignoring me in class, but I understand what you were going through and how bad your day was.”\\nYou can also request to talk to the person face to face or via video chat instead of texting about it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Putting Your Acceptance into Action\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to get back to normal.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve accepted someone’s apology—now what? Things might feel a little awkward at first, and you both might get a little uncomfortable. However, if you can push through that and change the topic of conversation or move on from it, you can begin to accept the person back into your life and get your relationship back on track.\\nThings might not feel normal right away, and you might still need some time after the person has apologized. Expect a little bit of a rough patch following the apology.\\nYou can even address the awkwardness (if there is any) by saying something like, “Well, that’s over now. Should we get back to business as usual?” Or, “Okay, let’s stop being so serious now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on forgiveness by practicing self-soothing.\", \"描述\": \"Although you accepted someone’s apology, it might be harder to get over than you thought. When you think about the bad thing that happened to you, you might feel anxious, sad, or stressed all over again, which is totally normal. If you are working toward forgiveness, you can do some self-soothing methods, like deep breathing, meditation, or other self-care methods that relax you. That way, you can ease the pain of what happened and work on feeling better about the person you are forgiving.\\nForgiveness doesn’t happen immediately, and it may never happen at all. Be open to forgiveness, but don’t expect it overnight.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Suggest spending quality time with the person.\", \"描述\": \"Another way to put your forgiveness into action is to show the person that you are actively striving to accept their apology by setting the restart button. Suggest spending quality time together to show the person you still enjoy their company and want to continue to be friends. If you need to, remind them that you are working on forgiveness but that while pain is still fresh, ask that they don't try to act like things are normal again; after all, both of you are now trying for a new normal and that this is about healing after the harm.\\nPlan an activity where you both have to work together, like playing a sport, going on a day hike, doing a community class together, etc. This could show that you're willing to rebuild trust and renew friendship.\\nSuggest doing something that you both enjoyed in the past as a way to show you're willing to move past any negativity and focus on the positive times instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared if any issues or problems arise between you and the person again.\", \"描述\": \"While you should commit yourself to trying to fully trust the person again, especially if they give you a heartfelt apology and you accept it, you should also be on the look out for warning signs. These could be small moments that indicate the person may make the same mistake again or may be falling back into bad habits that could lead to an issue and the need for another apology. Try to steer the person away from making another mistake or hurting you again like they did before.\\nFor example, if the person is starting to show up late for your dates again, mention it, as they may not be aware of it. Remind them that you find it hurtful when they do this. This may help encourage them to work harder.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Tough Situations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"End the relationship if you can’t move on.\", \"描述\": \"Forgiving someone is one thing, but forgetting is another. Even if you forgave someone, you might not be able to move on from what they’ve done. In that case, you should end the relationship for the benefit of both of you. Healthy relationships can’t thrive if there’s resentment on either end.\\nYou can say something like, “I accepted your apology the other day, but I’m just not sure I can move on from what you did. I’m sorry, but I think we’re going to have to split.”\\nOr, “Your friendship means a lot to me, but I’m still thinking about what happened last month. I don’t think I’ll be able to move on, and I need to take some time for myself.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be wary of people who continue their bad behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Giving someone a second chance is fine. But a third one? Or a fourth? There comes a time when someone is only apologizing because they know you’ll accept it and they can walk all over you. If your friend or partner continues to do something bad and then apologize for it, they may not be apologizing for the right reasons. Eventually, you may have to end the relationship if they don’t correct their behavior.\\nThe best apology is done with actions, not words. If someone continues to do something that they know will hurt you, they aren’t actually sorry about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Agree with someone who over-apologizes.\", \"描述\": \"If there is someone in your life who won’t stop apologizing, it’s probably because they feel really guilty. However, hearing “I’m sorry” 20 times in a row can be grating, and it might make you feel worse than what they did before. To get the person to stop apologizing, try agreeing with them. Instead of saying “It’s okay, it’s fine,” try “You know what? You’re right. You did hurt my feelings, and I’m glad you’re apologizing.”\\nUsually, this will be enough to snap them out of it and it might make you both feel better.\"}]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
152 | How to Accept an Apology From a Coworker | 1. Hearing the Person Out
1-1. Let them lead in the conversation.
It’s their apology, so let them take the lead. When your coworker pulls you aside to talk, hear them out completely. Resist the urge to interrupt what they’re saying.
Let them get their entire message across before giving your response.
Be aware of your non-verbal reactions, too. Avoid things like eye-rolling, scoffing, or other dismissive behavior, and keep eye contact. Act so that you can walk away knowing you handled the situation well, and with integrity.
1-2. Don’t brush off their guilt.
There’s a tendency among victims to minimize the wrongdoing of the offender. This doesn’t help anyone, however. It lets the person off the “guilt” hook and protects you from dealing with conflict. Conflict is a healthy way to deal with disagreement and grow from an experience, so don’t act like you aren’t bothered just to keep the peace.
Be especially mindful of this if you tend to avoid confrontations or are a “people pleaser.” Others may see it as permission to walk over you.
Avoid comments like “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it.” Saying something like this is dismissive of your feelings, and the other person’s.
1-3. Listen for sincerity.
Before you formulate a response to the person’s apology, evaluate the message. Was it heartfelt? Or, did it seem like the person was indifferent to what they’d done to you? Look into their eyes and question whether they truly feel sorry about their behavior.
You can spot sincere apologies by looking for two key elements: the person seems to understand how it feels to be standing in your shoes and the person offers a solution to make amends.
In a sincere apology, a person may also offer an explanation but will be clear that it doesn’t excuse their behavior.
2. Responding Graciously
2-1. Let them know how their behavior affected you.
Before you let the person off the hook, be sure that they can understand the impact of their mistake. This approach may be slightly uncomfortable, but it helps assure that the person recognizes the consequences of their actions, making it less likely that they’ll do the same thing in the future.
For instance, you might say, “I was really angry when you dropped your workload on my desk, especially since I knew you were only blowing off work to be with your boyfriend. I had to work three hours past shift to get everything finished.”
2-2. Verbalize your forgiveness.
If you have assessed the apology for sincerity and expounded on how the person’s behavior affected you, then you can move on to verbally accepting the apology. Offer a brief and gracious reply.
You might say something along the lines of “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I accept your apology” or “I understand why you may have made that decision. I’m ready to move on from it now.”
2-3. Thank them for apologizing.
It takes a lot of courage to admit wrongdoing and ask someone for forgiveness. Give your coworker some credit for sticking their neck out by showing your appreciation. This doesn’t translate to being a kiss-up—they were in the wrong, after all—but it helps level the playing field and shows that you’re taking the high road.
You might thank them by saying, “I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about this. Thanks.”
2-4. Keep the matter private.
Another aspect of responding graciously is keeping the issue between the two of you. If you go blabbing to the rest of your coworkers about the person’s apology, your own acceptance of it seems to go out the window.
Demonstrate that you are trying to maintain professionalism and starting off on a good foot by keeping your lips sealed about the matter.
If you feel the need to vent, do it privately. Talk to someone outside of the office. You can also try writing your feelings down in a journal or a letter you won’t send.
Take care not to dwell on the subject too long, though, as doing so will keep you from moving on.
2-5. Respond appropriately to an insincere or unsuitable apology.
If you felt the person's apology was insincere, or if you simply cannot forgive them for their behavior, be straightforward about it. It will only make you look bad if you pretend to accept their apology but continue to lord it over them later. Let them know that, while you appreciate their apology, you cannot accept it.
You might say, "Jordan, it says a lot that you came to me to apologize. But, I can't accept your apology" or "I appreciate your apology, but I'm afraid I can't accept it."
You can also be clear about how you’d like the relationship to change. For example, you might say, “You know, I’d really prefer not to work on projects together in the future.” Or, “From now on, I’ll only be discussing professional matters with you.”
Remember that you don't really owe the person an explanation. You can simply walk away.
3. Giving Them a Second Chance
3-1. Be empathetic.
You can move forward from the situation by spending some time in the other person’s shoes. This can help you better understand why the person may have acted the way they did. When you can see their actions as “human” and not all that different from what you would have done, you are ready to move on.
For example, maybe your coworker made a mistake in a report because she’s sleep-deprived due to juggling her job with caring for a newborn. In such a case, it’s hardly surprising that someone may make an error.
3-2. Work together to fix the problem.
It’s great to foster a sense of teamwork when getting over a rift. The person may ask you how they can make amends. Use this opportunity to work together to resolve the situation and prevent it from happening again.
Brainstorm possible methods for repairing the damage. For instance, you and your coworker might schedule a sit-down with the boss to explain their error and relieve you from solely taking the blame. Then, you might describe your plan for preventing future situations like this from reoccurring.
3-3. Don’t hold grudges.
The worst thing you can do after accepting an apology is to hold the situation over your coworker’s head. If the person offered a sincere apology and tried to work with you to make amends, let the issue go.
Avoid gossiping and complaining to colleagues about the person, too. It will make you look petty, even if you weren’t the instigator.
3-4. Keep your distance with repeat offenders.
If your coworker is infamous for making mistakes and not taking ownership of their wrongdoing, use this situation as a lesson learned. Minimize contact with the person in the future to avoid being on the receiving end of their misconduct.
This may also apply to situations when a coworker said something hurtful or vindictive about you behind your back but later apologized for it. Even if they seem sincere, you may want to keep your distance in the future.
If you have trouble with a repeat offender, you can try talking to someone in Human Resources as a last resort. They can advise you on ways to resolve the situation and protect yourself.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Hearing the Person Out\\n1-1. Let them lead in the conversation.\\nIt’s their apology, so let them take the lead. When your coworker pulls you aside to talk, hear them out completely. Resist the urge to interrupt what they’re saying.\\nLet them get their entire message across before giving your response.\\nBe aware of your non-verbal reactions, too. Avoid things like eye-rolling, scoffing, or other dismissive behavior, and keep eye contact. Act so that you can walk away knowing you handled the situation well, and with integrity.\\n1-2. Don’t brush off their guilt.\\nThere’s a tendency among victims to minimize the wrongdoing of the offender. This doesn’t help anyone, however. It lets the person off the “guilt” hook and protects you from dealing with conflict. Conflict is a healthy way to deal with disagreement and grow from an experience, so don’t act like you aren’t bothered just to keep the peace.\\nBe especially mindful of this if you tend to avoid confrontations or are a “people pleaser.” Others may see it as permission to walk over you.\\nAvoid comments like “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it.” Saying something like this is dismissive of your feelings, and the other person’s.\\n1-3. Listen for sincerity.\\nBefore you formulate a response to the person’s apology, evaluate the message. Was it heartfelt? Or, did it seem like the person was indifferent to what they’d done to you? Look into their eyes and question whether they truly feel sorry about their behavior.\\nYou can spot sincere apologies by looking for two key elements: the person seems to understand how it feels to be standing in your shoes and the person offers a solution to make amends.\\nIn a sincere apology, a person may also offer an explanation but will be clear that it doesn’t excuse their behavior.\\n2. Responding Graciously\\n2-1. Let them know how their behavior affected you.\\nBefore you let the person off the hook, be sure that they can understand the impact of their mistake. This approach may be slightly uncomfortable, but it helps assure that the person recognizes the consequences of their actions, making it less likely that they’ll do the same thing in the future.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I was really angry when you dropped your workload on my desk, especially since I knew you were only blowing off work to be with your boyfriend. I had to work three hours past shift to get everything finished.”\\n2-2. Verbalize your forgiveness.\\nIf you have assessed the apology for sincerity and expounded on how the person’s behavior affected you, then you can move on to verbally accepting the apology. Offer a brief and gracious reply.\\nYou might say something along the lines of “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I accept your apology” or “I understand why you may have made that decision. I’m ready to move on from it now.”\\n2-3. Thank them for apologizing.\\nIt takes a lot of courage to admit wrongdoing and ask someone for forgiveness. Give your coworker some credit for sticking their neck out by showing your appreciation. This doesn’t translate to being a kiss-up—they were in the wrong, after all—but it helps level the playing field and shows that you’re taking the high road.\\nYou might thank them by saying, “I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about this. Thanks.”\\n2-4. Keep the matter private.\\nAnother aspect of responding graciously is keeping the issue between the two of you. If you go blabbing to the rest of your coworkers about the person’s apology, your own acceptance of it seems to go out the window.\\nDemonstrate that you are trying to maintain professionalism and starting off on a good foot by keeping your lips sealed about the matter.\\nIf you feel the need to vent, do it privately. Talk to someone outside of the office. You can also try writing your feelings down in a journal or a letter you won’t send.\\nTake care not to dwell on the subject too long, though, as doing so will keep you from moving on.\\n2-5. Respond appropriately to an insincere or unsuitable apology.\\nIf you felt the person's apology was insincere, or if you simply cannot forgive them for their behavior, be straightforward about it. It will only make you look bad if you pretend to accept their apology but continue to lord it over them later. Let them know that, while you appreciate their apology, you cannot accept it.\\nYou might say, \\\"Jordan, it says a lot that you came to me to apologize. But, I can't accept your apology\\\" or \\\"I appreciate your apology, but I'm afraid I can't accept it.\\\"\\nYou can also be clear about how you’d like the relationship to change. For example, you might say, “You know, I’d really prefer not to work on projects together in the future.” Or, “From now on, I’ll only be discussing professional matters with you.”\\nRemember that you don't really owe the person an explanation. You can simply walk away.\\n3. Giving Them a Second Chance\\n3-1. Be empathetic.\\nYou can move forward from the situation by spending some time in the other person’s shoes. This can help you better understand why the person may have acted the way they did. When you can see their actions as “human” and not all that different from what you would have done, you are ready to move on.\\nFor example, maybe your coworker made a mistake in a report because she’s sleep-deprived due to juggling her job with caring for a newborn. In such a case, it’s hardly surprising that someone may make an error.\\n3-2. Work together to fix the problem.\\nIt’s great to foster a sense of teamwork when getting over a rift. The person may ask you how they can make amends. Use this opportunity to work together to resolve the situation and prevent it from happening again.\\nBrainstorm possible methods for repairing the damage. For instance, you and your coworker might schedule a sit-down with the boss to explain their error and relieve you from solely taking the blame. Then, you might describe your plan for preventing future situations like this from reoccurring.\\n3-3. Don’t hold grudges.\\nThe worst thing you can do after accepting an apology is to hold the situation over your coworker’s head. If the person offered a sincere apology and tried to work with you to make amends, let the issue go.\\nAvoid gossiping and complaining to colleagues about the person, too. It will make you look petty, even if you weren’t the instigator.\\n3-4. Keep your distance with repeat offenders.\\nIf your coworker is infamous for making mistakes and not taking ownership of their wrongdoing, use this situation as a lesson learned. Minimize contact with the person in the future to avoid being on the receiving end of their misconduct.\\nThis may also apply to situations when a coworker said something hurtful or vindictive about you behind your back but later apologized for it. Even if they seem sincere, you may want to keep your distance in the future.\\nIf you have trouble with a repeat offender, you can try talking to someone in Human Resources as a last resort. They can advise you on ways to resolve the situation and protect yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your coworker screwed up the data on a report you submitted, putting you in hot water with the boss. Or, maybe your coworker called out at the last minute, leaving you with all their work. They can tell that you’re upset, so they try to apologize. You can accept an apology appropriately by first hearing the person out. Then, try to respond graciously without automatically letting the person off the hook. Afterward, you can attempt to give the person a second chance.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hearing the Person Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them lead in the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"It’s their apology, so let them take the lead. When your coworker pulls you aside to talk, hear them out completely. Resist the urge to interrupt what they’re saying.\\nLet them get their entire message across before giving your response.\\nBe aware of your non-verbal reactions, too. Avoid things like eye-rolling, scoffing, or other dismissive behavior, and keep eye contact. Act so that you can walk away knowing you handled the situation well, and with integrity.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t brush off their guilt.\", \"描述\": \"There’s a tendency among victims to minimize the wrongdoing of the offender. This doesn’t help anyone, however. It lets the person off the “guilt” hook and protects you from dealing with conflict. Conflict is a healthy way to deal with disagreement and grow from an experience, so don’t act like you aren’t bothered just to keep the peace.\\nBe especially mindful of this if you tend to avoid confrontations or are a “people pleaser.” Others may see it as permission to walk over you.\\nAvoid comments like “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t worry about it.” Saying something like this is dismissive of your feelings, and the other person’s.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen for sincerity.\", \"描述\": \"Before you formulate a response to the person’s apology, evaluate the message. Was it heartfelt? Or, did it seem like the person was indifferent to what they’d done to you? Look into their eyes and question whether they truly feel sorry about their behavior.\\nYou can spot sincere apologies by looking for two key elements: the person seems to understand how it feels to be standing in your shoes and the person offers a solution to make amends.\\nIn a sincere apology, a person may also offer an explanation but will be clear that it doesn’t excuse their behavior.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding Graciously\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know how their behavior affected you.\", \"描述\": \"Before you let the person off the hook, be sure that they can understand the impact of their mistake. This approach may be slightly uncomfortable, but it helps assure that the person recognizes the consequences of their actions, making it less likely that they’ll do the same thing in the future.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I was really angry when you dropped your workload on my desk, especially since I knew you were only blowing off work to be with your boyfriend. I had to work three hours past shift to get everything finished.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Verbalize your forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"If you have assessed the apology for sincerity and expounded on how the person’s behavior affected you, then you can move on to verbally accepting the apology. Offer a brief and gracious reply.\\nYou might say something along the lines of “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I accept your apology” or “I understand why you may have made that decision. I’m ready to move on from it now.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Thank them for apologizing.\", \"描述\": \"It takes a lot of courage to admit wrongdoing and ask someone for forgiveness. Give your coworker some credit for sticking their neck out by showing your appreciation. This doesn’t translate to being a kiss-up—they were in the wrong, after all—but it helps level the playing field and shows that you’re taking the high road.\\nYou might thank them by saying, “I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about this. Thanks.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the matter private.\", \"描述\": \"Another aspect of responding graciously is keeping the issue between the two of you. If you go blabbing to the rest of your coworkers about the person’s apology, your own acceptance of it seems to go out the window.\\nDemonstrate that you are trying to maintain professionalism and starting off on a good foot by keeping your lips sealed about the matter.\\nIf you feel the need to vent, do it privately. Talk to someone outside of the office. You can also try writing your feelings down in a journal or a letter you won’t send.\\nTake care not to dwell on the subject too long, though, as doing so will keep you from moving on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respond appropriately to an insincere or unsuitable apology.\", \"描述\": \"If you felt the person's apology was insincere, or if you simply cannot forgive them for their behavior, be straightforward about it. It will only make you look bad if you pretend to accept their apology but continue to lord it over them later. Let them know that, while you appreciate their apology, you cannot accept it.\\nYou might say, \\\"Jordan, it says a lot that you came to me to apologize. But, I can't accept your apology\\\" or \\\"I appreciate your apology, but I'm afraid I can't accept it.\\\"\\nYou can also be clear about how you’d like the relationship to change. For example, you might say, “You know, I’d really prefer not to work on projects together in the future.” Or, “From now on, I’ll only be discussing professional matters with you.”\\nRemember that you don't really owe the person an explanation. You can simply walk away.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Giving Them a Second Chance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be empathetic.\", \"描述\": \"You can move forward from the situation by spending some time in the other person’s shoes. This can help you better understand why the person may have acted the way they did. When you can see their actions as “human” and not all that different from what you would have done, you are ready to move on.\\nFor example, maybe your coworker made a mistake in a report because she’s sleep-deprived due to juggling her job with caring for a newborn. In such a case, it’s hardly surprising that someone may make an error.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work together to fix the problem.\", \"描述\": \"It’s great to foster a sense of teamwork when getting over a rift. The person may ask you how they can make amends. Use this opportunity to work together to resolve the situation and prevent it from happening again.\\nBrainstorm possible methods for repairing the damage. For instance, you and your coworker might schedule a sit-down with the boss to explain their error and relieve you from solely taking the blame. Then, you might describe your plan for preventing future situations like this from reoccurring.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t hold grudges.\", \"描述\": \"The worst thing you can do after accepting an apology is to hold the situation over your coworker’s head. If the person offered a sincere apology and tried to work with you to make amends, let the issue go.\\nAvoid gossiping and complaining to colleagues about the person, too. It will make you look petty, even if you weren’t the instigator.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your distance with repeat offenders.\", \"描述\": \"If your coworker is infamous for making mistakes and not taking ownership of their wrongdoing, use this situation as a lesson learned. Minimize contact with the person in the future to avoid being on the receiving end of their misconduct.\\nThis may also apply to situations when a coworker said something hurtful or vindictive about you behind your back but later apologized for it. Even if they seem sincere, you may want to keep your distance in the future.\\nIf you have trouble with a repeat offender, you can try talking to someone in Human Resources as a last resort. They can advise you on ways to resolve the situation and protect yourself.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
153 | How to Accept an Apology in Writing | 1. Processing the Apology
1-1. Read or listen to the apology calmly and carefully.
Withhold any immediate reaction until you are able to calmly reflect on what the person has. Listen or read with an open mind and be willing to entertain the other person’s perspective. Tell the person you appreciate their apology, but you need some time to process it.
Take some time to calm yourself down before trying to assess the apology.
Try deep breathing to regain your composure.
Whether you are receiving an apology from a friend or family member, or someone you work with, it’s important to give the apology your full consideration.
If the person has written you an apology letter, find a quiet place where you can focus on reading the apology without distraction.
1-2. Determine if the apology is genuine.
An apology should demonstrate regret and an acknowledgement that the person has done something wrong or feels remorse in some way. A true apology will show that the person is taking appropriate responsibility for the situation they have caused.
The person should be specific about their apology.
A false apology is one that deflects responsibility in some way, on to you, or on to someone or something else.
For example, saying “I’m sorry if you felt offended,” is not a true apology. Rather than apologizing for their own action, they are deflecting responsibility back on to you.
An apology may also be a disguised justification. A person may slip into an explanation for why they did what they did without actually saying they are sorry for doing it.
The person should offer to fix the situation if possible. For example, if you asked them to water your house plants while you were away and they forgot, an appropriate apology might include an offer to replace any plants that died as a result of their neglect.
1-3. Forgive
Even if the apology is a poor one, it’s in your best interests to embrace empathy and forgive. Release your negative emotions by crying, writing in a journal, or talking with a friend or therapist.
Depending on the situation, complete forgiveness may take days, months, or even years.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or moving forward with no consequences. It means letting go of hurt feelings and not holding onto a grudge.
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you have to keep a connection to the person. If it is someone who routinely causes offense or hurt, for example, you can forgive them but also choose to end your relationship with them
2. Writing Your Response
2-1. Open your letter with a standard greeting.
Start your response with a basic introduction, such as, “Dear Jacob.” If the person is a colleague or professional contact, you can try a more formal greeting by using their title, like “Dear Mrs. Hardy,” or “Dear Professor Thomas.”
2-2. Acknowledge the apology in the opening sentence.
Depending on the circumstances, you might want to use a formal or casual tone. “I accept your apology,” or "Thank you for your apology" are appropriate formal responses for business dealings. If the apology comes from a friend or family member, you can be more informal in your response. Try, “I hear what you are saying," “Thanks,” or “It’s okay.”
If you’re not ready to move forward, acknowledge their apology by stating: “I appreciate your apology, but I am unable to accept it at this time.”
No matter how you choose to respond, make sure it’s a true reflection of your feelings. You don’t want to get caught up in crafting a response that isn’t actually genuine.
2-3. State how you feel about the situation in the body of your letter.
Don’t leave the person guessing. In addition to acknowledging their apology, let them know why you were offended or upset. Be honest and clear in your writing. Explain how the situation felt for you and why it impacted you the way that it did. For example, you can write:
“I am glad you apologized. It really hurt my feelings when you made a joke at my expense.”
“It’s okay. I wish you hadn’t done this at all, but I'm ready to move past it.”
“I hear that you regret what you did. I’m trying to move past this but it has really impacted how I feel about our relationship. I will need more time to think about things.”
2-4. Acknowledge your contribution to the problem if appropriate.
Sometimes the problem really is someone else’s fault, but it may be that both parties involved made some missteps. Reflect on whether this applies to your situation and take responsibility where it makes sense. For example:
You can write: “It was really unfair when you said that about me, but I should not have responded by returning the insult.”
Alternatively, try: “It was your responsibility to make sure things went smoothly that day, but I realize now that I should have made sure you had more help.”
2-5. Close the body of the letter with a clear plan for the future of your relationship.
Make it clear if you want to end the relationship with them. Or, let them know you are ready to move past the incident in question. If it is a business relationship, you may need to let the person know you will no longer be working with them. If it is a more personal relationship, you should let them know if and when you would like to see them or talk to them again. For example:
For example, you can try: “I am ready to put this behind us and move forward. Why don’t we get together this weekend?”
Another approach is to write: “While I accept your apology, this incident has made me re-evaluate our business arrangement and I will not be renewing your contract at the end of this month.”
2-6. End your letter with a closing that matches the tone of your response.
If you are telling someone that you are unable to accept their apology or continue your relationship with them, sign off with a closing that is not too familiar. Try using “Sincerely,” or “Regards,” in this case.
For a more positive closing, consider, “Best wishes,” or “Warm regards.”
2-7. Mail or email the apology acceptance letter.
To limit misunderstandings should the email or letter get lost, ask the recipient or the mail service to confirm receipt.
Tips
Ask a trusted friend or relative who is emotionally unattached to the situation to read your letter before you send it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:29",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Processing the Apology\\n1-1. Read or listen to the apology calmly and carefully.\\nWithhold any immediate reaction until you are able to calmly reflect on what the person has. Listen or read with an open mind and be willing to entertain the other person’s perspective. Tell the person you appreciate their apology, but you need some time to process it.\\nTake some time to calm yourself down before trying to assess the apology.\\nTry deep breathing to regain your composure.\\nWhether you are receiving an apology from a friend or family member, or someone you work with, it’s important to give the apology your full consideration.\\nIf the person has written you an apology letter, find a quiet place where you can focus on reading the apology without distraction.\\n1-2. Determine if the apology is genuine.\\nAn apology should demonstrate regret and an acknowledgement that the person has done something wrong or feels remorse in some way. A true apology will show that the person is taking appropriate responsibility for the situation they have caused.\\nThe person should be specific about their apology.\\nA false apology is one that deflects responsibility in some way, on to you, or on to someone or something else.\\nFor example, saying “I’m sorry if you felt offended,” is not a true apology. Rather than apologizing for their own action, they are deflecting responsibility back on to you.\\nAn apology may also be a disguised justification. A person may slip into an explanation for why they did what they did without actually saying they are sorry for doing it.\\nThe person should offer to fix the situation if possible. For example, if you asked them to water your house plants while you were away and they forgot, an appropriate apology might include an offer to replace any plants that died as a result of their neglect.\\n1-3. Forgive\\nEven if the apology is a poor one, it’s in your best interests to embrace empathy and forgive. Release your negative emotions by crying, writing in a journal, or talking with a friend or therapist.\\nDepending on the situation, complete forgiveness may take days, months, or even years.\\nForgiveness does not mean forgetting or moving forward with no consequences. It means letting go of hurt feelings and not holding onto a grudge.\\nForgiveness does not necessarily mean that you have to keep a connection to the person. If it is someone who routinely causes offense or hurt, for example, you can forgive them but also choose to end your relationship with them\\n2. Writing Your Response\\n2-1. Open your letter with a standard greeting.\\nStart your response with a basic introduction, such as, “Dear Jacob.” If the person is a colleague or professional contact, you can try a more formal greeting by using their title, like “Dear Mrs. Hardy,” or “Dear Professor Thomas.”\\n2-2. Acknowledge the apology in the opening sentence.\\nDepending on the circumstances, you might want to use a formal or casual tone. “I accept your apology,” or \\\"Thank you for your apology\\\" are appropriate formal responses for business dealings. If the apology comes from a friend or family member, you can be more informal in your response. Try, “I hear what you are saying,\\\" “Thanks,” or “It’s okay.”\\nIf you’re not ready to move forward, acknowledge their apology by stating: “I appreciate your apology, but I am unable to accept it at this time.”\\nNo matter how you choose to respond, make sure it’s a true reflection of your feelings. You don’t want to get caught up in crafting a response that isn’t actually genuine.\\n2-3. State how you feel about the situation in the body of your letter.\\nDon’t leave the person guessing. In addition to acknowledging their apology, let them know why you were offended or upset. Be honest and clear in your writing. Explain how the situation felt for you and why it impacted you the way that it did. For example, you can write:\\n“I am glad you apologized. It really hurt my feelings when you made a joke at my expense.”\\n“It’s okay. I wish you hadn’t done this at all, but I'm ready to move past it.”\\n“I hear that you regret what you did. I’m trying to move past this but it has really impacted how I feel about our relationship. I will need more time to think about things.”\\n2-4. Acknowledge your contribution to the problem if appropriate.\\nSometimes the problem really is someone else’s fault, but it may be that both parties involved made some missteps. Reflect on whether this applies to your situation and take responsibility where it makes sense. For example:\\nYou can write: “It was really unfair when you said that about me, but I should not have responded by returning the insult.”\\nAlternatively, try: “It was your responsibility to make sure things went smoothly that day, but I realize now that I should have made sure you had more help.”\\n2-5. Close the body of the letter with a clear plan for the future of your relationship.\\nMake it clear if you want to end the relationship with them. Or, let them know you are ready to move past the incident in question. If it is a business relationship, you may need to let the person know you will no longer be working with them. If it is a more personal relationship, you should let them know if and when you would like to see them or talk to them again. For example:\\nFor example, you can try: “I am ready to put this behind us and move forward. Why don’t we get together this weekend?”\\nAnother approach is to write: “While I accept your apology, this incident has made me re-evaluate our business arrangement and I will not be renewing your contract at the end of this month.”\\n2-6. End your letter with a closing that matches the tone of your response.\\nIf you are telling someone that you are unable to accept their apology or continue your relationship with them, sign off with a closing that is not too familiar. Try using “Sincerely,” or “Regards,” in this case.\\nFor a more positive closing, consider, “Best wishes,” or “Warm regards.”\\n2-7. Mail or email the apology acceptance letter.\\nTo limit misunderstandings should the email or letter get lost, ask the recipient or the mail service to confirm receipt.\\nTips\\nAsk a trusted friend or relative who is emotionally unattached to the situation to read your letter before you send it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Knowing how to accept an apology in writing is helpful in both professional and personal situations. If you are a telecommuter who communicates with your supervisors or coworkers via email, you may need to learn this skill. If you have friends and relatives in other geographic locations, phone or in-person contact may be difficult. The letter or email you write to acknowledge and accept an apology can have important repercussions for your relationship, so it’s important to take your time and carefully think through what you will write.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Processing the Apology\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read or listen to the apology calmly and carefully.\", \"描述\": \"Withhold any immediate reaction until you are able to calmly reflect on what the person has. Listen or read with an open mind and be willing to entertain the other person’s perspective. Tell the person you appreciate their apology, but you need some time to process it.\\nTake some time to calm yourself down before trying to assess the apology.\\nTry deep breathing to regain your composure.\\nWhether you are receiving an apology from a friend or family member, or someone you work with, it’s important to give the apology your full consideration.\\nIf the person has written you an apology letter, find a quiet place where you can focus on reading the apology without distraction.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine if the apology is genuine.\", \"描述\": \"An apology should demonstrate regret and an acknowledgement that the person has done something wrong or feels remorse in some way. A true apology will show that the person is taking appropriate responsibility for the situation they have caused.\\nThe person should be specific about their apology.\\nA false apology is one that deflects responsibility in some way, on to you, or on to someone or something else.\\nFor example, saying “I’m sorry if you felt offended,” is not a true apology. Rather than apologizing for their own action, they are deflecting responsibility back on to you.\\nAn apology may also be a disguised justification. A person may slip into an explanation for why they did what they did without actually saying they are sorry for doing it.\\nThe person should offer to fix the situation if possible. For example, if you asked them to water your house plants while you were away and they forgot, an appropriate apology might include an offer to replace any plants that died as a result of their neglect.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Forgive\", \"描述\": \"Even if the apology is a poor one, it’s in your best interests to embrace empathy and forgive. Release your negative emotions by crying, writing in a journal, or talking with a friend or therapist.\\nDepending on the situation, complete forgiveness may take days, months, or even years.\\nForgiveness does not mean forgetting or moving forward with no consequences. It means letting go of hurt feelings and not holding onto a grudge.\\nForgiveness does not necessarily mean that you have to keep a connection to the person. If it is someone who routinely causes offense or hurt, for example, you can forgive them but also choose to end your relationship with them\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Writing Your Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your letter with a standard greeting.\", \"描述\": \"Start your response with a basic introduction, such as, “Dear Jacob.” If the person is a colleague or professional contact, you can try a more formal greeting by using their title, like “Dear Mrs. Hardy,” or “Dear Professor Thomas.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the apology in the opening sentence.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the circumstances, you might want to use a formal or casual tone. “I accept your apology,” or \\\"Thank you for your apology\\\" are appropriate formal responses for business dealings. If the apology comes from a friend or family member, you can be more informal in your response. Try, “I hear what you are saying,\\\" “Thanks,” or “It’s okay.”\\nIf you’re not ready to move forward, acknowledge their apology by stating: “I appreciate your apology, but I am unable to accept it at this time.”\\nNo matter how you choose to respond, make sure it’s a true reflection of your feelings. You don’t want to get caught up in crafting a response that isn’t actually genuine.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"State how you feel about the situation in the body of your letter.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t leave the person guessing. In addition to acknowledging their apology, let them know why you were offended or upset. Be honest and clear in your writing. Explain how the situation felt for you and why it impacted you the way that it did. For example, you can write:\\n“I am glad you apologized. It really hurt my feelings when you made a joke at my expense.”\\n“It’s okay. I wish you hadn’t done this at all, but I'm ready to move past it.”\\n“I hear that you regret what you did. I’m trying to move past this but it has really impacted how I feel about our relationship. I will need more time to think about things.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge your contribution to the problem if appropriate.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the problem really is someone else’s fault, but it may be that both parties involved made some missteps. Reflect on whether this applies to your situation and take responsibility where it makes sense. For example:\\nYou can write: “It was really unfair when you said that about me, but I should not have responded by returning the insult.”\\nAlternatively, try: “It was your responsibility to make sure things went smoothly that day, but I realize now that I should have made sure you had more help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Close the body of the letter with a clear plan for the future of your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Make it clear if you want to end the relationship with them. Or, let them know you are ready to move past the incident in question. If it is a business relationship, you may need to let the person know you will no longer be working with them. If it is a more personal relationship, you should let them know if and when you would like to see them or talk to them again. For example:\\nFor example, you can try: “I am ready to put this behind us and move forward. Why don’t we get together this weekend?”\\nAnother approach is to write: “While I accept your apology, this incident has made me re-evaluate our business arrangement and I will not be renewing your contract at the end of this month.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"End your letter with a closing that matches the tone of your response.\", \"描述\": \"If you are telling someone that you are unable to accept their apology or continue your relationship with them, sign off with a closing that is not too familiar. Try using “Sincerely,” or “Regards,” in this case.\\nFor a more positive closing, consider, “Best wishes,” or “Warm regards.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Mail or email the apology acceptance letter.\", \"描述\": \"To limit misunderstandings should the email or letter get lost, ask the recipient or the mail service to confirm receipt.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ask a trusted friend or relative who is emotionally unattached to the situation to read your letter before you send it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
154 | How to Accept an Invitation for Dinner | 1. Accepting a Formal Invitation
1-1. Read the invitation carefully to see how you’re supposed to respond.
Formal dinner invitations often arrive in the mail or through email. Regardless of how your invitation arrives, read the invitation carefully from top to bottom to figure out how you are supposed to respond. Formal invitations almost always include everything you need to know about accepting or reserving your seat.
Formal invitations typically include the date, time, attire, and reservation method. Don’t throw your invitation out if it arrived in the mail. You may need some of the information later!
You may be required to reply to formal invitations via mail, email, telephone, or online.
Check your calendar before responding to the invitation to ensure that you’re free on that day.
1-2. Look for the letters “RSVP” if you can’t find information on accepting.
RSVP is short for répondez s'il vous plait, which is French for “please respond.” It’s a formal shorthand for the reservation instructions.
If the invitation asks you to accept or decline using a specific method, do not use an alternative response method. In other words, it the invitation asks you to respond online, do not send a letter. If the invitation asks you to reply via email, do not call. It is generally seen as inappropriate to not follow the invitation’s instructions.
1-3. Accept online invitations through the address listed on the invitation.
If the invitation lists a website for RSVPs, get on your computer and type in the website’s address. On the website, look for a button that says “Accept,” or, “I Am Attending.” Click this button and enter any additional information that pop up for menu options or guest information.
Online reservation sites are designed to be easy to use. It shouldn’t be too hard to accept the invitation digitally.
If you struggle with navigating the website, contact the website before reaching out to the host. Their servers may be down or you may not understand the instructions.
If you can’t make the event, politely decline before the RSVP date. Send a note or let the host know in person that you’re sorry you can’t show up.
1-4. Send an email or letter to the host if you’re asked to write your response.
If the host requests an email or letter reply, start with a formal salutation like, “Dear Mr. Jankowski.” Then, thank the host for the invitation and plainly state that you accept their invitation. Written replies don’t need to be longer than 1-3 sentences, so don’t worry about writing a long acceptance speech. If you are allowed to bring a guest, mention who you are bringing at the end of your response.
For example, you may write, “Thank you for the lovely invitation to your annual dinner party. I am deeply honored and happy to accept your kind invitation. I will be bringing my partner, Taylor Walters.”
Close your email with “Sincerely,” or “Thank you,” followed by your name. Include your title if you’re responding to an invitation by a colleague or business organization.
If you’re emailing your response and the dinner is hosted by someone you have a professional relationship with, use your professional email account. If it’s a personal friend, use your personal email account.
If you’re mailing your response, handwrite your response on a sheet of nice cardstock or paper. Include your signature instead of writing your name out. Invitations that require a written response typically include a blank response card with the invitation.
1-5. Call the number listed on the invitation if you’re asked to do so.
If you are asked to call a number to accept the invitation, you’re probably calling the venue or organizing group. Since you don’t have a personal relationship with the venue or event organizer, you really don’t need to worry about following etiquette. Kindly state that you will be attending the dinner, provide your name, and thank the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up.
It is exceptionally rare that you need to call the host directly to accept a dinner invitation. If the host does answer the phone, be cordial and say something like, “Hello! This is Alfred O'Brian. I’m calling to thank you for the invitation and to let you know that I will be attending your dinner on the 9th.” Answer any follow-up questions and thank the host again before hanging up.
1-6. Do nothing if there are no reservation instructions whatsoever.
If you get an invitation and there are no instructions on how to accept, you probably don’t need to do anything. These types of invitations are often open offers where the host doesn’t need information on who will be attending.
You typically get invitations like these from organizations or groups. If the letter is impersonal and looks like it could be sent to anybody, it’s probably fine to show up without actively accepting the offer.
2. Responding to an Informal Invitation
2-1. Check your calendar to ensure that you’re free on that date.
Before happily accepting an informal invitation, check your schedule to make sure that you’re available for dinner on the given date. It can be awkward to decline an invitation after you’ve already accepted it!
Informal invitations are often used when you’re having a conversation with the host. You may also receive an informal invitation via email, social media, or text message.
2-2. Accept the offer as soon as you reasonably can.
To give the host enough time to plan and prepare for the dinner, respond as soon as you can. Avoid putting off your response until the last minute, even if there isn’t a formal date that you need to respond by. If you can, respond to the invitation the same day that you receive it.
If every guest waits to respond to their invitation, the host may think that no one is interested in coming and cancel the event.
2-3. Respond in the same tone and voice as the invitation.
If you got a quick text asking, “Dinner Thursday?” replying with a simple “Sure!” is totally appropriate. If you receive an email asking you if you’re interested in getting dinner next week, write back “I’d love to get dinner! What day works best for you?” Use whatever tone and manner the host used to reply to their invitation and accept it.
There are no hard rules when it comes to how you reply to an informal invitation. Use whatever method the host used to invite you and do your best to mirror the host’s tone, whether it’s causal, silly, playful, or serious.
2-4. Offer to help with the dinner if you’re friends with the host.
If you’re good friends with the host, offer to help with the cooking or buy something for the event. Dinner parties often require a lot of effort and time. The host will surely appreciate the offer, even if they decline your help.
If you don’t know the host very well, don’t offer to help with anything. This can come off as invasive and presumptuous.
3. Following Proper Etiquette
3-1. Accept or decline invitations by the date listed on the invitation.
While you may be able to get away with answering late, it is considered rude to not respond by the date listed on the invitation. If you aren’t sure if you’re going to be free or not, contact the host and let them know why you haven’t responded yet.
If it’s a formal invitation for a professional event, don’t contact anyone to discuss your issue. It will be more polite to decline and attend the next dinner.
For example, you may say. “Mr. Davis, I apologize for not responding to the invitation yet. I may have to go out of town for work the weekend of the party, but I’m not sure yet. Is it okay if I contact you a few days after the date on the invitation? If it isn’t, I completely understand. Sorry about this!”
3-2. Arrive on time to adhere to the instructions on the invitation.
If the party starts at 7 pm, the host is surely going to be running around checking on the food and cleaning around the house at 6:30 pm. Don’t show up early to avoid disrupting the host or the organizing group. Show up either on time, or no more than 30 minutes late to ensure that you don’t offend anyone.
Since this is a dinner party, avoid showing up in the middle of everyone’s meal. If you’re going to be late and you know that the meal starts at 9 pm, show up at 10 pm at the earliest to catch everyone during after-dinner drinks.
3-3. Bring a gift if the dinner is hosted at someone’s home.
If the party is taking place in someone’s home, pick up some flowers, a nice bottle of wine, or some other small gift. When you arrive, give the gift to the host. If a member of their immediate family answers the door, go ahead and give the gift to them instead. This is a great way to show that you appreciate the host’s efforts in planning the party and letting you into your home.
This is particularly important if you don’t know the host very well.
3-4. Check the dress code at the venue or on the invitation to dress properly.
If you’re attending a formal dinner party, wear a suit and tie or an elegant dress. If the venue is a sports bar and you’re meeting a few friends for dinner, feel free to wear jeans a T-shirt. Adhere to the dress code listed on the invitation to avoid standing out or offending the host.
If the event is listed as “Black Tie,” you need to follow a specific dress code. You can wear a black suit with a white undershirt and black tie (or bowtie). Alternatively, any ball gown or long dress will work.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accepting a Formal Invitation\\n1-1. Read the invitation carefully to see how you’re supposed to respond.\\nFormal dinner invitations often arrive in the mail or through email. Regardless of how your invitation arrives, read the invitation carefully from top to bottom to figure out how you are supposed to respond. Formal invitations almost always include everything you need to know about accepting or reserving your seat.\\nFormal invitations typically include the date, time, attire, and reservation method. Don’t throw your invitation out if it arrived in the mail. You may need some of the information later!\\nYou may be required to reply to formal invitations via mail, email, telephone, or online.\\nCheck your calendar before responding to the invitation to ensure that you’re free on that day.\\n1-2. Look for the letters “RSVP” if you can’t find information on accepting.\\nRSVP is short for répondez s'il vous plait, which is French for “please respond.” It’s a formal shorthand for the reservation instructions.\\nIf the invitation asks you to accept or decline using a specific method, do not use an alternative response method. In other words, it the invitation asks you to respond online, do not send a letter. If the invitation asks you to reply via email, do not call. It is generally seen as inappropriate to not follow the invitation’s instructions.\\n1-3. Accept online invitations through the address listed on the invitation.\\nIf the invitation lists a website for RSVPs, get on your computer and type in the website’s address. On the website, look for a button that says “Accept,” or, “I Am Attending.” Click this button and enter any additional information that pop up for menu options or guest information.\\nOnline reservation sites are designed to be easy to use. It shouldn’t be too hard to accept the invitation digitally.\\nIf you struggle with navigating the website, contact the website before reaching out to the host. Their servers may be down or you may not understand the instructions.\\nIf you can’t make the event, politely decline before the RSVP date. Send a note or let the host know in person that you’re sorry you can’t show up.\\n1-4. Send an email or letter to the host if you’re asked to write your response.\\nIf the host requests an email or letter reply, start with a formal salutation like, “Dear Mr. Jankowski.” Then, thank the host for the invitation and plainly state that you accept their invitation. Written replies don’t need to be longer than 1-3 sentences, so don’t worry about writing a long acceptance speech. If you are allowed to bring a guest, mention who you are bringing at the end of your response.\\nFor example, you may write, “Thank you for the lovely invitation to your annual dinner party. I am deeply honored and happy to accept your kind invitation. I will be bringing my partner, Taylor Walters.”\\nClose your email with “Sincerely,” or “Thank you,” followed by your name. Include your title if you’re responding to an invitation by a colleague or business organization.\\nIf you’re emailing your response and the dinner is hosted by someone you have a professional relationship with, use your professional email account. If it’s a personal friend, use your personal email account.\\nIf you’re mailing your response, handwrite your response on a sheet of nice cardstock or paper. Include your signature instead of writing your name out. Invitations that require a written response typically include a blank response card with the invitation.\\n1-5. Call the number listed on the invitation if you’re asked to do so.\\nIf you are asked to call a number to accept the invitation, you’re probably calling the venue or organizing group. Since you don’t have a personal relationship with the venue or event organizer, you really don’t need to worry about following etiquette. Kindly state that you will be attending the dinner, provide your name, and thank the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up.\\nIt is exceptionally rare that you need to call the host directly to accept a dinner invitation. If the host does answer the phone, be cordial and say something like, “Hello! This is Alfred O'Brian. I’m calling to thank you for the invitation and to let you know that I will be attending your dinner on the 9th.” Answer any follow-up questions and thank the host again before hanging up.\\n1-6. Do nothing if there are no reservation instructions whatsoever.\\nIf you get an invitation and there are no instructions on how to accept, you probably don’t need to do anything. These types of invitations are often open offers where the host doesn’t need information on who will be attending.\\nYou typically get invitations like these from organizations or groups. If the letter is impersonal and looks like it could be sent to anybody, it’s probably fine to show up without actively accepting the offer.\\n2. Responding to an Informal Invitation\\n2-1. Check your calendar to ensure that you’re free on that date.\\nBefore happily accepting an informal invitation, check your schedule to make sure that you’re available for dinner on the given date. It can be awkward to decline an invitation after you’ve already accepted it!\\nInformal invitations are often used when you’re having a conversation with the host. You may also receive an informal invitation via email, social media, or text message.\\n2-2. Accept the offer as soon as you reasonably can.\\nTo give the host enough time to plan and prepare for the dinner, respond as soon as you can. Avoid putting off your response until the last minute, even if there isn’t a formal date that you need to respond by. If you can, respond to the invitation the same day that you receive it.\\nIf every guest waits to respond to their invitation, the host may think that no one is interested in coming and cancel the event.\\n2-3. Respond in the same tone and voice as the invitation.\\nIf you got a quick text asking, “Dinner Thursday?” replying with a simple “Sure!” is totally appropriate. If you receive an email asking you if you’re interested in getting dinner next week, write back “I’d love to get dinner! What day works best for you?” Use whatever tone and manner the host used to reply to their invitation and accept it.\\nThere are no hard rules when it comes to how you reply to an informal invitation. Use whatever method the host used to invite you and do your best to mirror the host’s tone, whether it’s causal, silly, playful, or serious.\\n2-4. Offer to help with the dinner if you’re friends with the host.\\nIf you’re good friends with the host, offer to help with the cooking or buy something for the event. Dinner parties often require a lot of effort and time. The host will surely appreciate the offer, even if they decline your help.\\nIf you don’t know the host very well, don’t offer to help with anything. This can come off as invasive and presumptuous.\\n3. Following Proper Etiquette\\n3-1. Accept or decline invitations by the date listed on the invitation.\\nWhile you may be able to get away with answering late, it is considered rude to not respond by the date listed on the invitation. If you aren’t sure if you’re going to be free or not, contact the host and let them know why you haven’t responded yet.\\nIf it’s a formal invitation for a professional event, don’t contact anyone to discuss your issue. It will be more polite to decline and attend the next dinner.\\nFor example, you may say. “Mr. Davis, I apologize for not responding to the invitation yet. I may have to go out of town for work the weekend of the party, but I’m not sure yet. Is it okay if I contact you a few days after the date on the invitation? If it isn’t, I completely understand. Sorry about this!”\\n3-2. Arrive on time to adhere to the instructions on the invitation.\\nIf the party starts at 7 pm, the host is surely going to be running around checking on the food and cleaning around the house at 6:30 pm. Don’t show up early to avoid disrupting the host or the organizing group. Show up either on time, or no more than 30 minutes late to ensure that you don’t offend anyone.\\nSince this is a dinner party, avoid showing up in the middle of everyone’s meal. If you’re going to be late and you know that the meal starts at 9 pm, show up at 10 pm at the earliest to catch everyone during after-dinner drinks.\\n3-3. Bring a gift if the dinner is hosted at someone’s home.\\nIf the party is taking place in someone’s home, pick up some flowers, a nice bottle of wine, or some other small gift. When you arrive, give the gift to the host. If a member of their immediate family answers the door, go ahead and give the gift to them instead. This is a great way to show that you appreciate the host’s efforts in planning the party and letting you into your home.\\nThis is particularly important if you don’t know the host very well.\\n3-4. Check the dress code at the venue or on the invitation to dress properly.\\nIf you’re attending a formal dinner party, wear a suit and tie or an elegant dress. If the venue is a sports bar and you’re meeting a few friends for dinner, feel free to wear jeans a T-shirt. Adhere to the dress code listed on the invitation to avoid standing out or offending the host.\\nIf the event is listed as “Black Tie,” you need to follow a specific dress code. You can wear a black suit with a white undershirt and black tie (or bowtie). Alternatively, any ball gown or long dress will work.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Responding to a dinner invitation is a stress-free process, so don’t worry if you don’t know what to do right away. If you’ve received a formal invitation in the mail or online, read the instructions carefully to determine how you can accept the invitation. Formal invitations also include important information about the date, dress code, and guest information, so hold on to it. For informal invitations, use the same tone and manner that the host used to invite you. Check your calendar before replying to ensure that you’re free and reply before the RSVP date to avoid offending the host.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accepting a Formal Invitation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Read the invitation carefully to see how you’re supposed to respond.\", \"描述\": \"Formal dinner invitations often arrive in the mail or through email. Regardless of how your invitation arrives, read the invitation carefully from top to bottom to figure out how you are supposed to respond. Formal invitations almost always include everything you need to know about accepting or reserving your seat.\\nFormal invitations typically include the date, time, attire, and reservation method. Don’t throw your invitation out if it arrived in the mail. You may need some of the information later!\\nYou may be required to reply to formal invitations via mail, email, telephone, or online.\\nCheck your calendar before responding to the invitation to ensure that you’re free on that day.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for the letters “RSVP” if you can’t find information on accepting.\", \"描述\": \"RSVP is short for répondez s'il vous plait, which is French for “please respond.” It’s a formal shorthand for the reservation instructions.\\nIf the invitation asks you to accept or decline using a specific method, do not use an alternative response method. In other words, it the invitation asks you to respond online, do not send a letter. If the invitation asks you to reply via email, do not call. It is generally seen as inappropriate to not follow the invitation’s instructions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept online invitations through the address listed on the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"If the invitation lists a website for RSVPs, get on your computer and type in the website’s address. On the website, look for a button that says “Accept,” or, “I Am Attending.” Click this button and enter any additional information that pop up for menu options or guest information.\\nOnline reservation sites are designed to be easy to use. It shouldn’t be too hard to accept the invitation digitally.\\nIf you struggle with navigating the website, contact the website before reaching out to the host. Their servers may be down or you may not understand the instructions.\\nIf you can’t make the event, politely decline before the RSVP date. Send a note or let the host know in person that you’re sorry you can’t show up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Send an email or letter to the host if you’re asked to write your response.\", \"描述\": \"If the host requests an email or letter reply, start with a formal salutation like, “Dear Mr. Jankowski.” Then, thank the host for the invitation and plainly state that you accept their invitation. Written replies don’t need to be longer than 1-3 sentences, so don’t worry about writing a long acceptance speech. If you are allowed to bring a guest, mention who you are bringing at the end of your response.\\nFor example, you may write, “Thank you for the lovely invitation to your annual dinner party. I am deeply honored and happy to accept your kind invitation. I will be bringing my partner, Taylor Walters.”\\nClose your email with “Sincerely,” or “Thank you,” followed by your name. Include your title if you’re responding to an invitation by a colleague or business organization.\\nIf you’re emailing your response and the dinner is hosted by someone you have a professional relationship with, use your professional email account. If it’s a personal friend, use your personal email account.\\nIf you’re mailing your response, handwrite your response on a sheet of nice cardstock or paper. Include your signature instead of writing your name out. Invitations that require a written response typically include a blank response card with the invitation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Call the number listed on the invitation if you’re asked to do so.\", \"描述\": \"If you are asked to call a number to accept the invitation, you’re probably calling the venue or organizing group. Since you don’t have a personal relationship with the venue or event organizer, you really don’t need to worry about following etiquette. Kindly state that you will be attending the dinner, provide your name, and thank the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up.\\nIt is exceptionally rare that you need to call the host directly to accept a dinner invitation. If the host does answer the phone, be cordial and say something like, “Hello! This is Alfred O'Brian. I’m calling to thank you for the invitation and to let you know that I will be attending your dinner on the 9th.” Answer any follow-up questions and thank the host again before hanging up.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Do nothing if there are no reservation instructions whatsoever.\", \"描述\": \"If you get an invitation and there are no instructions on how to accept, you probably don’t need to do anything. These types of invitations are often open offers where the host doesn’t need information on who will be attending.\\nYou typically get invitations like these from organizations or groups. If the letter is impersonal and looks like it could be sent to anybody, it’s probably fine to show up without actively accepting the offer.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Responding to an Informal Invitation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your calendar to ensure that you’re free on that date.\", \"描述\": \"Before happily accepting an informal invitation, check your schedule to make sure that you’re available for dinner on the given date. It can be awkward to decline an invitation after you’ve already accepted it!\\nInformal invitations are often used when you’re having a conversation with the host. You may also receive an informal invitation via email, social media, or text message.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept the offer as soon as you reasonably can.\", \"描述\": \"To give the host enough time to plan and prepare for the dinner, respond as soon as you can. Avoid putting off your response until the last minute, even if there isn’t a formal date that you need to respond by. If you can, respond to the invitation the same day that you receive it.\\nIf every guest waits to respond to their invitation, the host may think that no one is interested in coming and cancel the event.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respond in the same tone and voice as the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"If you got a quick text asking, “Dinner Thursday?” replying with a simple “Sure!” is totally appropriate. If you receive an email asking you if you’re interested in getting dinner next week, write back “I’d love to get dinner! What day works best for you?” Use whatever tone and manner the host used to reply to their invitation and accept it.\\nThere are no hard rules when it comes to how you reply to an informal invitation. Use whatever method the host used to invite you and do your best to mirror the host’s tone, whether it’s causal, silly, playful, or serious.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Offer to help with the dinner if you’re friends with the host.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re good friends with the host, offer to help with the cooking or buy something for the event. Dinner parties often require a lot of effort and time. The host will surely appreciate the offer, even if they decline your help.\\nIf you don’t know the host very well, don’t offer to help with anything. This can come off as invasive and presumptuous.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following Proper Etiquette\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept or decline invitations by the date listed on the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"While you may be able to get away with answering late, it is considered rude to not respond by the date listed on the invitation. If you aren’t sure if you’re going to be free or not, contact the host and let them know why you haven’t responded yet.\\nIf it’s a formal invitation for a professional event, don’t contact anyone to discuss your issue. It will be more polite to decline and attend the next dinner.\\nFor example, you may say. “Mr. Davis, I apologize for not responding to the invitation yet. I may have to go out of town for work the weekend of the party, but I’m not sure yet. Is it okay if I contact you a few days after the date on the invitation? If it isn’t, I completely understand. Sorry about this!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Arrive on time to adhere to the instructions on the invitation.\", \"描述\": \"If the party starts at 7 pm, the host is surely going to be running around checking on the food and cleaning around the house at 6:30 pm. Don’t show up early to avoid disrupting the host or the organizing group. Show up either on time, or no more than 30 minutes late to ensure that you don’t offend anyone.\\nSince this is a dinner party, avoid showing up in the middle of everyone’s meal. If you’re going to be late and you know that the meal starts at 9 pm, show up at 10 pm at the earliest to catch everyone during after-dinner drinks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bring a gift if the dinner is hosted at someone’s home.\", \"描述\": \"If the party is taking place in someone’s home, pick up some flowers, a nice bottle of wine, or some other small gift. When you arrive, give the gift to the host. If a member of their immediate family answers the door, go ahead and give the gift to them instead. This is a great way to show that you appreciate the host’s efforts in planning the party and letting you into your home.\\nThis is particularly important if you don’t know the host very well.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check the dress code at the venue or on the invitation to dress properly.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re attending a formal dinner party, wear a suit and tie or an elegant dress. If the venue is a sports bar and you’re meeting a few friends for dinner, feel free to wear jeans a T-shirt. Adhere to the dress code listed on the invitation to avoid standing out or offending the host.\\nIf the event is listed as “Black Tie,” you need to follow a specific dress code. You can wear a black suit with a white undershirt and black tie (or bowtie). Alternatively, any ball gown or long dress will work.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
155 | How to Accept that Your Crush Doesn't Like You | 1. Staying Busy
1-1. Spend time on your hobbies.
Throw yourself into the things you enjoy doing to keep your mind off your crush. If you used to spend a lot of time thinking about the object of your affections, reclaim that time by putting it towards a new project, a good book, or a series on Netflix that you’ve been meaning to watch.
If you previously dropped some of your hobbies because you were distracted by your crush, picking them up again is a great way to move on.
1-2. Meet new people.
Instead of pining over someone who isn’t interested in you, mix it up with some new people who will appreciate how great you are. You don’t have to go looking for another crush just yet, but don’t be shy about reaching out to all kinds of people and making new friends.
School, extracurricular activities, community clubs, and volunteer work are all good ways to meet people.
1-3. Try something that is completely different.
Expand your horizons and take your mind off the past by challenging yourself. If you’ve always wanted to do something but never worked up the nerve, there’s a no better time than right now to give it a try.
For example, you could audition for a play, take a solo trip, or apply for a new job.
2. Distancing Yourself
2-1. Respect your crush’s boundaries.
Don’t try to change your crush’s mind or prove to them how great you are. This might get on their nerves, and worse, it will make you feel a little pathetic. Save your energy for someone who likes you, and leave your crush alone.
Remember that there are many reasons your crush might not be interested in you. Maybe they’ve liked someone else for a long time, or maybe they like you as a friend but don’t think you’d be a compatible couple. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
2-2. Explain that you need some time to recover.
If you are friends with your crush, it’s normal to feel a little awkward around them after getting rejected. Let them know that you need some time away from them to get over your feelings. If they are a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.
If you aren’t really friends with your crush, you don’t need to explain to them that you’re taking some time away from them. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t.
2-3. Unfollow or block your crush on social media.
Resist the urge to stalk your crush online by unfriending or unfollowing them on the social media platforms you use. If you’re worried about caving in and re-following them later, block them.
You can always re-add them in the future, once you’re over your feelings.
2-4. Stay away from places you think your crush may be.
Don’t try to get a glimpse of your crush in the hallway at school or in the break room at work, no matter how tempting the idea may be. Put as much distance as you can between yourself and them. If you have to see your crush every day, try to sit far away from them and avoid conversation.
Be polite. It’s okay to say hello if you happen to see your crush, but don’t linger or try to start a conversation.
2-5. Avoid asking your friends about your crush.
If you and your crush have mutual friends, let them know that you’re trying to get over some feelings, and ask them not to talk about your crush around you for a while. Don’t ask what your crush is up to or whether they’re dating anybody since this might re-ignite your old emotions.
2-6. Avoid entertainment that reminds you of your crush.
Music, movies, and books can all be helpful in getting over an unrequited flame, but stay away from entertainment that helps you wallow in your feelings. If certain media makes you think about your crush, cut it out for a while and replace it with something that isn’t so emotionally loaded.
Try indulging in escapism for a while. Look for novels and TV shows that transport you to worlds very different from your everyday life.
3. Recovering Emotionally
3-1. Accept your feelings.
Admit to yourself that you’re feeling bad about getting turned down. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone, and rejection is something almost everyone has experienced at some point. The sooner you come to terms with your feelings, the sooner you can heal from them and move on.
3-2. Grieve the loss of the potential relationship.
Even though you were not in a relationship with this person, in your mind, it may feel like you “lost” someone. Allow yourself time and space to grieve properly, then it will be easier to move on.
Having a crush is like having a one-sided imaginary relationship. In your mind, you develop an attachment to another person that is not reciprocated. You will need time and space to break that attachment.
3-3. Find support.
Seek out the company of people who value you, like your friends and family. It’s okay to cry or talk your problems through with them, especially at first, but try to have some fun with your loved ones too. A day out with your pals or a visit with extended family can do wonders for your mood and self-esteem.
3-4. Make a list of your good qualities.
Sit down with pen and paper, and spend a few minutes brainstorming all the reasons someone would be lucky to be with you. Include overall positive traits like kindness, as well as little quirks like always remembering someone’s favorite foods. Save your list so you can look at it when you feel down about yourself.
3-5. Think about your crush’s negative traits.
Nobody’s perfect, and your previously rosy view of your crush might have hidden their bad qualities. Now that you have a bit more distance from them, think of everything that bothers you about your crush, from their weird laugh to their inability to remember your name. You’ll be feeling less love-struck in no time.
3-6. Express yourself creatively.
Channel your feelings into your writing, drawing, music, or any other kind of art you like to make. You can show other people your finished work, or keep it private – it’s up to you.
3-7. Practice good self-care.
Your heart and ego are probably feeling a little bruised, so be gentle with yourself as you recover. Cut yourself a bit of slack at school or work. Instead of burying your sadness with endless movie-and-takeout sessions, do your best to eat well and get some exercise, and treat yourself to things that make you feel good about yourself.
For instance, you could spend an afternoon at your favorite coffee shop or get a new haircut that you love.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Staying Busy\\n1-1. Spend time on your hobbies.\\nThrow yourself into the things you enjoy doing to keep your mind off your crush. If you used to spend a lot of time thinking about the object of your affections, reclaim that time by putting it towards a new project, a good book, or a series on Netflix that you’ve been meaning to watch.\\nIf you previously dropped some of your hobbies because you were distracted by your crush, picking them up again is a great way to move on.\\n1-2. Meet new people.\\nInstead of pining over someone who isn’t interested in you, mix it up with some new people who will appreciate how great you are. You don’t have to go looking for another crush just yet, but don’t be shy about reaching out to all kinds of people and making new friends.\\nSchool, extracurricular activities, community clubs, and volunteer work are all good ways to meet people.\\n1-3. Try something that is completely different.\\nExpand your horizons and take your mind off the past by challenging yourself. If you’ve always wanted to do something but never worked up the nerve, there’s a no better time than right now to give it a try.\\nFor example, you could audition for a play, take a solo trip, or apply for a new job.\\n2. Distancing Yourself\\n2-1. Respect your crush’s boundaries.\\nDon’t try to change your crush’s mind or prove to them how great you are. This might get on their nerves, and worse, it will make you feel a little pathetic. Save your energy for someone who likes you, and leave your crush alone.\\nRemember that there are many reasons your crush might not be interested in you. Maybe they’ve liked someone else for a long time, or maybe they like you as a friend but don’t think you’d be a compatible couple. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.\\n2-2. Explain that you need some time to recover.\\nIf you are friends with your crush, it’s normal to feel a little awkward around them after getting rejected. Let them know that you need some time away from them to get over your feelings. If they are a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.\\nIf you aren’t really friends with your crush, you don’t need to explain to them that you’re taking some time away from them. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t.\\n2-3. Unfollow or block your crush on social media.\\nResist the urge to stalk your crush online by unfriending or unfollowing them on the social media platforms you use. If you’re worried about caving in and re-following them later, block them.\\nYou can always re-add them in the future, once you’re over your feelings.\\n2-4. Stay away from places you think your crush may be.\\nDon’t try to get a glimpse of your crush in the hallway at school or in the break room at work, no matter how tempting the idea may be. Put as much distance as you can between yourself and them. If you have to see your crush every day, try to sit far away from them and avoid conversation.\\nBe polite. It’s okay to say hello if you happen to see your crush, but don’t linger or try to start a conversation.\\n2-5. Avoid asking your friends about your crush.\\nIf you and your crush have mutual friends, let them know that you’re trying to get over some feelings, and ask them not to talk about your crush around you for a while. Don’t ask what your crush is up to or whether they’re dating anybody since this might re-ignite your old emotions.\\n2-6. Avoid entertainment that reminds you of your crush.\\nMusic, movies, and books can all be helpful in getting over an unrequited flame, but stay away from entertainment that helps you wallow in your feelings. If certain media makes you think about your crush, cut it out for a while and replace it with something that isn’t so emotionally loaded.\\nTry indulging in escapism for a while. Look for novels and TV shows that transport you to worlds very different from your everyday life.\\n3. Recovering Emotionally\\n3-1. Accept your feelings.\\nAdmit to yourself that you’re feeling bad about getting turned down. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone, and rejection is something almost everyone has experienced at some point. The sooner you come to terms with your feelings, the sooner you can heal from them and move on.\\n3-2. Grieve the loss of the potential relationship.\\nEven though you were not in a relationship with this person, in your mind, it may feel like you “lost” someone. Allow yourself time and space to grieve properly, then it will be easier to move on.\\nHaving a crush is like having a one-sided imaginary relationship. In your mind, you develop an attachment to another person that is not reciprocated. You will need time and space to break that attachment.\\n3-3. Find support.\\nSeek out the company of people who value you, like your friends and family. It’s okay to cry or talk your problems through with them, especially at first, but try to have some fun with your loved ones too. A day out with your pals or a visit with extended family can do wonders for your mood and self-esteem.\\n3-4. Make a list of your good qualities.\\nSit down with pen and paper, and spend a few minutes brainstorming all the reasons someone would be lucky to be with you. Include overall positive traits like kindness, as well as little quirks like always remembering someone’s favorite foods. Save your list so you can look at it when you feel down about yourself.\\n3-5. Think about your crush’s negative traits.\\nNobody’s perfect, and your previously rosy view of your crush might have hidden their bad qualities. Now that you have a bit more distance from them, think of everything that bothers you about your crush, from their weird laugh to their inability to remember your name. You’ll be feeling less love-struck in no time.\\n3-6. Express yourself creatively.\\nChannel your feelings into your writing, drawing, music, or any other kind of art you like to make. You can show other people your finished work, or keep it private – it’s up to you.\\n3-7. Practice good self-care.\\nYour heart and ego are probably feeling a little bruised, so be gentle with yourself as you recover. Cut yourself a bit of slack at school or work. Instead of burying your sadness with endless movie-and-takeout sessions, do your best to eat well and get some exercise, and treat yourself to things that make you feel good about yourself.\\nFor instance, you could spend an afternoon at your favorite coffee shop or get a new haircut that you love.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So you’ve just found out your crush doesn’t like you back. Now what? You might feel like moping around or pestering them in an attempt to change their mind, but that will most likely just leave you feeling worse, and possibly annoy your crush, too. The healthiest and most dignified thing to do in this situation is to accept the news and move on. You can get over the sting of rejection by keeping yourself busy, distancing yourself from your crush, and taking care of your emotional health.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Staying Busy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spend time on your hobbies.\", \"描述\": \"Throw yourself into the things you enjoy doing to keep your mind off your crush. If you used to spend a lot of time thinking about the object of your affections, reclaim that time by putting it towards a new project, a good book, or a series on Netflix that you’ve been meaning to watch.\\nIf you previously dropped some of your hobbies because you were distracted by your crush, picking them up again is a great way to move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet new people.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of pining over someone who isn’t interested in you, mix it up with some new people who will appreciate how great you are. You don’t have to go looking for another crush just yet, but don’t be shy about reaching out to all kinds of people and making new friends.\\nSchool, extracurricular activities, community clubs, and volunteer work are all good ways to meet people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try something that is completely different.\", \"描述\": \"Expand your horizons and take your mind off the past by challenging yourself. If you’ve always wanted to do something but never worked up the nerve, there’s a no better time than right now to give it a try.\\nFor example, you could audition for a play, take a solo trip, or apply for a new job.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Distancing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect your crush’s boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to change your crush’s mind or prove to them how great you are. This might get on their nerves, and worse, it will make you feel a little pathetic. Save your energy for someone who likes you, and leave your crush alone.\\nRemember that there are many reasons your crush might not be interested in you. Maybe they’ve liked someone else for a long time, or maybe they like you as a friend but don’t think you’d be a compatible couple. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain that you need some time to recover.\", \"描述\": \"If you are friends with your crush, it’s normal to feel a little awkward around them after getting rejected. Let them know that you need some time away from them to get over your feelings. If they are a good friend, they’ll understand and respect your wishes.\\nIf you aren’t really friends with your crush, you don’t need to explain to them that you’re taking some time away from them. In fact, it’s probably better if you don’t.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Unfollow or block your crush on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Resist the urge to stalk your crush online by unfriending or unfollowing them on the social media platforms you use. If you’re worried about caving in and re-following them later, block them.\\nYou can always re-add them in the future, once you’re over your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Stay away from places you think your crush may be.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to get a glimpse of your crush in the hallway at school or in the break room at work, no matter how tempting the idea may be. Put as much distance as you can between yourself and them. If you have to see your crush every day, try to sit far away from them and avoid conversation.\\nBe polite. It’s okay to say hello if you happen to see your crush, but don’t linger or try to start a conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking your friends about your crush.\", \"描述\": \"If you and your crush have mutual friends, let them know that you’re trying to get over some feelings, and ask them not to talk about your crush around you for a while. Don’t ask what your crush is up to or whether they’re dating anybody since this might re-ignite your old emotions.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Avoid entertainment that reminds you of your crush.\", \"描述\": \"Music, movies, and books can all be helpful in getting over an unrequited flame, but stay away from entertainment that helps you wallow in your feelings. If certain media makes you think about your crush, cut it out for a while and replace it with something that isn’t so emotionally loaded.\\nTry indulging in escapism for a while. Look for novels and TV shows that transport you to worlds very different from your everyday life.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Recovering Emotionally\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accept your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Admit to yourself that you’re feeling bad about getting turned down. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone, and rejection is something almost everyone has experienced at some point. The sooner you come to terms with your feelings, the sooner you can heal from them and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Grieve the loss of the potential relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you were not in a relationship with this person, in your mind, it may feel like you “lost” someone. Allow yourself time and space to grieve properly, then it will be easier to move on.\\nHaving a crush is like having a one-sided imaginary relationship. In your mind, you develop an attachment to another person that is not reciprocated. You will need time and space to break that attachment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find support.\", \"描述\": \"Seek out the company of people who value you, like your friends and family. It’s okay to cry or talk your problems through with them, especially at first, but try to have some fun with your loved ones too. A day out with your pals or a visit with extended family can do wonders for your mood and self-esteem.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a list of your good qualities.\", \"描述\": \"Sit down with pen and paper, and spend a few minutes brainstorming all the reasons someone would be lucky to be with you. Include overall positive traits like kindness, as well as little quirks like always remembering someone’s favorite foods. Save your list so you can look at it when you feel down about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think about your crush’s negative traits.\", \"描述\": \"Nobody’s perfect, and your previously rosy view of your crush might have hidden their bad qualities. Now that you have a bit more distance from them, think of everything that bothers you about your crush, from their weird laugh to their inability to remember your name. You’ll be feeling less love-struck in no time.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Express yourself creatively.\", \"描述\": \"Channel your feelings into your writing, drawing, music, or any other kind of art you like to make. You can show other people your finished work, or keep it private – it’s up to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Practice good self-care.\", \"描述\": \"Your heart and ego are probably feeling a little bruised, so be gentle with yourself as you recover. Cut yourself a bit of slack at school or work. Instead of burying your sadness with endless movie-and-takeout sessions, do your best to eat well and get some exercise, and treat yourself to things that make you feel good about yourself.\\nFor instance, you could spend an afternoon at your favorite coffee shop or get a new haircut that you love.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
156 | How to Accept the 30 Year Old Milestone | 1. Confronting the Reality of Turning 30
1-1. Figure out why you are scared of turning 30.
Feeling anxiety about aging is completely normal, but your fear might be an unrealistic reaction to an experience or your conceptions of getting old. Identifying why you’re scared of turning 30 may help you more quickly accept this milestone.
You might fear turning 30 because some people categorize it as “old.” However, with medical progress and longer life expectancy, thirty is no longer middle age.
You might fear turning thirty because it makes you feel like you should accept more responsibility, act like an adult, or because you haven’t achieved everything you thought you would by this age.
Consider writing out your aging fears to help you realize that they’re not rational and accept your milestone.
1-2. Accept
You can’t turn back the proverbial hand of time, so just accept—and welcome-- the fact that you’re turning thirty. Once you let go and recognize the inevitable, you may more easily accept turning 30.
Many others people in your life, including your parents and probably some of your friends, have turned 30 and survived. Know you will live through turning 30 and will probably enjoy the decade more than you did your 20s.
Take on the attitude that “30 is the new 20.” This behavioral tactic of framing the milestone to minimize its gravity may help you accept it more readily.
1-3. Practice yoga and meditation.
Consider practicing gentle yoga and meditation to help stretch out your muscles. Doing these exercises can help relax and refocus you, and in turn may help you more readily accept that you’re turning 30.
Try doing gentle forms of yoga, such as restorative and yin yoga. These forms are specifically practiced to help stretch out and repair muscles and relax the body.
There are many different health benefits to meditation such as lower blood pressure, decreased anxiety and depression, less stress, and greater feelings of relaxation and general well-being.
Meditation can also help liberate your mind and allow you to let go of the attachment to things you can’t control.
Talk to your doctor before you begin any yoga practice to make sure you’re healthy enough to practice.
1-4. Remember that age is just a number.
This old truism has likely never been more accurate than today. With advances in health care and lifestyles, people are living longer and looker younger for longer periods of time.
Take some time and really think about what you feel turning 30 is "supposed" to look like. Ask yourself where you got those ideas about what you should have accomplished. Then, ask yourself whether you're okay with where you actually are. If not, think about what steps you can take to get to where you think you need to be.
If you take care of yourself by exercising, eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, and avoiding stress, your body may be much healthier than that of someone younger than you.
Societal pressures in the media often make aging look like a process of aches, feebleness, and inactivity. By keeping in mind Mark Twain’s statement, “age is an issue of mind over matter,” you may be able to not focus on the number of your age but how much you can do and how great you feel.
1-5. Think about your accomplishments so far.
Your twenties are a defining decade of your life that are filled with making life plans and getting settled. Think about what you’ve accomplished already in your twenties and how that can help set you up for another exciting decade in your thirties where plans may come to fruition.
You can consider most major milestones in your twenties as accomplishments. For example, maybe you finished your education or started a family. You can use these accomplishments as starting points for goals during your thirties.
1-6. Forget and move on from failures.
Accept that there is going to be failure in any endeavor. Learning to embrace the failure and then move on can help you to age gracefully and accept the upcoming challenges of the new decade.
1-7. Let go of expectations.
The inability to accept turning thirty may begin with expectations you had for yourself. Letting go of unrealistic or unfulfilled expectations can help you create a positive environment and start your thirties out on the right foot.
Accept that nothing is perfect. Imperfection adds character and letting go of any expectations of perfection will help you focus on the positive changes in your life.
1-8. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
Every person is different and comparing yourself to other people can minimize your self-confidence, especially in an era when there is so much societal pressure to appear young. Focusing on yourself and not comparing yourself to others is essential to accepting your upcoming milestone.
Don’t let societal conceptions of age or aging discourage you. With so much focus on celebrities who seemingly don’t age—mostly with the help of cosmetic procedures-- it’s hard to accept aging.
2. Embracing Your 30s
2-1. Throw yourself a fantastic party.
Start off the decade on the right foot and throw yourself a fabulous party. Ushering in your thirties in a positive way can help you consider all of the wonderful things that may happen in the next decade.
2-2. Be confident
Have confidence in everything you’ve learned during your twenties and believe that you can apply this knowledge to be successful in your thirties. By cultivating and projecting confidence in yourself, you can set yourself on the path for self acceptance and success during your thirties.
Confidence comes from many sources, including knowing that you have a good education and training, good relationships, or even that you look good.
For example, if you feel that you took great care of your skin in your 20s, be confidence in the fact that you probably don’t have many wrinkles. You can also be confident if you finished your education or started a good job, or even had healthy children.
It’s important to know that even if you are confident and successful, that failure is a part of the equation.
Embrace the fact that most people in their thirties feel much more confident and comfortable in themselves, which can help you enjoy yourself and relax.
2-3. Make plans and set goals.
You likely made plans for yourself in your twenties and you should do the same for your thirties. In many cases, your goals or plans may be extension or the culmination of what you set out to do in your twenties. Having plans and goals can help give you a concrete purpose as you move into this new life phase.
Set goals for every aspect of your life: personal, professional, and otherwise. For example, you might want to start a family in your thirties or finally get your PhD.
Give yourself short- and long-term goals to achieve and reassess them every year.
Make plans to experience as much of life as you can through travel, education, or even just engaging with your community. Getting involved can help you forget your milestone and help you realize that your thirties are much more fulfilling than your twenties.
2-4. Enjoy any financial independence.
Many people are in stable jobs or stable living situations by the time they are 30. Enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved by rewarding yourself with travel or buying a home.
You don’t necessarily have to make big purchases to enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved. Even being able to go to a nice restaurant is a way to enjoy having more money than you did when you were in your twenties.
2-5. Explore new activities.
Trying new activities that interest you or even that someone invites you to join can make your thirties much more exciting. Even if you don’t enjoy it in the end, you will still be more informed and versatile than you were prior to trying the activity. Nurturing your curiosities by allowing yourself to explore the world around you is one of the best ways to embrace your thirties. At this age, you are more likely to truly appreciate activities such as travel and trying different foods and new hobbies.
You can try artistic activities such as painting, dancing, or making music; do a new sport or even just take part in a pick up game; or engage in hobbies like photography or a book club.
Be open-minded to new trying activities even if they don't seem appealing at first.
2-6. Engage in your community or local area.
Engaging with your community or the local area, such as through politics, will put you in contact with a wide variety of people and opinions. Exposure to different perspectives and people in your community can show you that getting older isn’t such a daunting process.
Consider volunteering at a local hospital or soup kitchen. Realizing that you are healthy and have the means to support yourself can help you further embrace your thirties.
2-7. Travel
There is an unimaginable amount you can learn from other places, especially foreign countries and cultures. Travel experiences will expose you to different perspectives, histories, and opinions, and in turn can help you embrace your thirties.
Travel will show you that the world, even if it’s a nearby town, is multi-faceted and can add new sides to you, too. As you get older and wiser, you’re more able to recognize and appreciate the diversity around you as well as your role in the world.
Make sure to get off the beaten path when you travel. Hidden gems may surprise and enrich your experiences. Being more confident in yourself during your thirties can allow you to take these kinds of travel opportunities.
2-8. Take care of your health.
Taking care of your health is an important part of aging gracefully. Being healthy through exercise and diet can also help you more readily embrace aging and any changes.
Eat healthy meals that meet all of your nutritional needs to maintain your health and well-being. For example, you need to make sure you’re getting enough protein, vitamins, and fiber through foods such as lean meats or nuts, and fruits and vegetables.
Make sure to allot time for physical activity, such as walking or jogging, for at least thirty minutes a day. You’ll also want to make sure to include time for rest and relaxation, such as reading a book. These will help underscore your healthy eating habits and contribute to your overall well-being.
For example, a 3 mile (4.8 km) run will give you time to work out personal or professional problems if you need to while providing your body with needed exercise to maintain your health.
In a world where you are easily contacted by cell phones, email, and social media, having unplugged alone time is vital to maintaining your health by minimizing how much input you need to process on a daily basis. For example, you can turn off all electronics at 10pm so that you have an hour or two all to yourself or with your family.
2-9. Be thankful
There are many people who weren’t lucky enough to make it to 30. Be thankful for the fact that you are alive and for everything you have, which may help you counteract any negative thoughts that may arise about turning 30.
Make a list of everything for which you’re grateful. In situations where you feel negative, read the list of things for which you’re grateful. This will remind you to stay positive.
Tips
Continue to set goals for your life and then work to achieve them. Being 30 doesn't mean you should stop growing or learning.
Warnings
Beware of people selling you anti-aging remedies, most don't work and just play on your vanity.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Confronting the Reality of Turning 30\\n1-1. Figure out why you are scared of turning 30.\\nFeeling anxiety about aging is completely normal, but your fear might be an unrealistic reaction to an experience or your conceptions of getting old. Identifying why you’re scared of turning 30 may help you more quickly accept this milestone.\\nYou might fear turning 30 because some people categorize it as “old.” However, with medical progress and longer life expectancy, thirty is no longer middle age.\\nYou might fear turning thirty because it makes you feel like you should accept more responsibility, act like an adult, or because you haven’t achieved everything you thought you would by this age.\\nConsider writing out your aging fears to help you realize that they’re not rational and accept your milestone.\\n1-2. Accept\\nYou can’t turn back the proverbial hand of time, so just accept—and welcome-- the fact that you’re turning thirty. Once you let go and recognize the inevitable, you may more easily accept turning 30.\\nMany others people in your life, including your parents and probably some of your friends, have turned 30 and survived. Know you will live through turning 30 and will probably enjoy the decade more than you did your 20s.\\nTake on the attitude that “30 is the new 20.” This behavioral tactic of framing the milestone to minimize its gravity may help you accept it more readily.\\n1-3. Practice yoga and meditation.\\nConsider practicing gentle yoga and meditation to help stretch out your muscles. Doing these exercises can help relax and refocus you, and in turn may help you more readily accept that you’re turning 30.\\nTry doing gentle forms of yoga, such as restorative and yin yoga. These forms are specifically practiced to help stretch out and repair muscles and relax the body.\\nThere are many different health benefits to meditation such as lower blood pressure, decreased anxiety and depression, less stress, and greater feelings of relaxation and general well-being.\\nMeditation can also help liberate your mind and allow you to let go of the attachment to things you can’t control.\\nTalk to your doctor before you begin any yoga practice to make sure you’re healthy enough to practice.\\n1-4. Remember that age is just a number.\\nThis old truism has likely never been more accurate than today. With advances in health care and lifestyles, people are living longer and looker younger for longer periods of time.\\nTake some time and really think about what you feel turning 30 is \\\"supposed\\\" to look like. Ask yourself where you got those ideas about what you should have accomplished. Then, ask yourself whether you're okay with where you actually are. If not, think about what steps you can take to get to where you think you need to be.\\nIf you take care of yourself by exercising, eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, and avoiding stress, your body may be much healthier than that of someone younger than you.\\nSocietal pressures in the media often make aging look like a process of aches, feebleness, and inactivity. By keeping in mind Mark Twain’s statement, “age is an issue of mind over matter,” you may be able to not focus on the number of your age but how much you can do and how great you feel.\\n1-5. Think about your accomplishments so far.\\nYour twenties are a defining decade of your life that are filled with making life plans and getting settled. Think about what you’ve accomplished already in your twenties and how that can help set you up for another exciting decade in your thirties where plans may come to fruition.\\nYou can consider most major milestones in your twenties as accomplishments. For example, maybe you finished your education or started a family. You can use these accomplishments as starting points for goals during your thirties.\\n1-6. Forget and move on from failures.\\nAccept that there is going to be failure in any endeavor. Learning to embrace the failure and then move on can help you to age gracefully and accept the upcoming challenges of the new decade.\\n1-7. Let go of expectations.\\nThe inability to accept turning thirty may begin with expectations you had for yourself. Letting go of unrealistic or unfulfilled expectations can help you create a positive environment and start your thirties out on the right foot.\\nAccept that nothing is perfect. Imperfection adds character and letting go of any expectations of perfection will help you focus on the positive changes in your life.\\n1-8. Avoid comparing yourself to others.\\nEvery person is different and comparing yourself to other people can minimize your self-confidence, especially in an era when there is so much societal pressure to appear young. Focusing on yourself and not comparing yourself to others is essential to accepting your upcoming milestone.\\nDon’t let societal conceptions of age or aging discourage you. With so much focus on celebrities who seemingly don’t age—mostly with the help of cosmetic procedures-- it’s hard to accept aging.\\n2. Embracing Your 30s\\n2-1. Throw yourself a fantastic party.\\nStart off the decade on the right foot and throw yourself a fabulous party. Ushering in your thirties in a positive way can help you consider all of the wonderful things that may happen in the next decade.\\n2-2. Be confident\\nHave confidence in everything you’ve learned during your twenties and believe that you can apply this knowledge to be successful in your thirties. By cultivating and projecting confidence in yourself, you can set yourself on the path for self acceptance and success during your thirties.\\nConfidence comes from many sources, including knowing that you have a good education and training, good relationships, or even that you look good.\\nFor example, if you feel that you took great care of your skin in your 20s, be confidence in the fact that you probably don’t have many wrinkles. You can also be confident if you finished your education or started a good job, or even had healthy children.\\nIt’s important to know that even if you are confident and successful, that failure is a part of the equation.\\nEmbrace the fact that most people in their thirties feel much more confident and comfortable in themselves, which can help you enjoy yourself and relax.\\n2-3. Make plans and set goals.\\nYou likely made plans for yourself in your twenties and you should do the same for your thirties. In many cases, your goals or plans may be extension or the culmination of what you set out to do in your twenties. Having plans and goals can help give you a concrete purpose as you move into this new life phase.\\nSet goals for every aspect of your life: personal, professional, and otherwise. For example, you might want to start a family in your thirties or finally get your PhD.\\nGive yourself short- and long-term goals to achieve and reassess them every year.\\nMake plans to experience as much of life as you can through travel, education, or even just engaging with your community. Getting involved can help you forget your milestone and help you realize that your thirties are much more fulfilling than your twenties.\\n2-4. Enjoy any financial independence.\\nMany people are in stable jobs or stable living situations by the time they are 30. Enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved by rewarding yourself with travel or buying a home.\\nYou don’t necessarily have to make big purchases to enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved. Even being able to go to a nice restaurant is a way to enjoy having more money than you did when you were in your twenties.\\n2-5. Explore new activities.\\nTrying new activities that interest you or even that someone invites you to join can make your thirties much more exciting. Even if you don’t enjoy it in the end, you will still be more informed and versatile than you were prior to trying the activity. Nurturing your curiosities by allowing yourself to explore the world around you is one of the best ways to embrace your thirties. At this age, you are more likely to truly appreciate activities such as travel and trying different foods and new hobbies.\\nYou can try artistic activities such as painting, dancing, or making music; do a new sport or even just take part in a pick up game; or engage in hobbies like photography or a book club.\\nBe open-minded to new trying activities even if they don't seem appealing at first.\\n2-6. Engage in your community or local area.\\nEngaging with your community or the local area, such as through politics, will put you in contact with a wide variety of people and opinions. Exposure to different perspectives and people in your community can show you that getting older isn’t such a daunting process.\\nConsider volunteering at a local hospital or soup kitchen. Realizing that you are healthy and have the means to support yourself can help you further embrace your thirties.\\n2-7. Travel\\nThere is an unimaginable amount you can learn from other places, especially foreign countries and cultures. Travel experiences will expose you to different perspectives, histories, and opinions, and in turn can help you embrace your thirties.\\nTravel will show you that the world, even if it’s a nearby town, is multi-faceted and can add new sides to you, too. As you get older and wiser, you’re more able to recognize and appreciate the diversity around you as well as your role in the world.\\nMake sure to get off the beaten path when you travel. Hidden gems may surprise and enrich your experiences. Being more confident in yourself during your thirties can allow you to take these kinds of travel opportunities.\\n2-8. Take care of your health.\\nTaking care of your health is an important part of aging gracefully. Being healthy through exercise and diet can also help you more readily embrace aging and any changes.\\nEat healthy meals that meet all of your nutritional needs to maintain your health and well-being. For example, you need to make sure you’re getting enough protein, vitamins, and fiber through foods such as lean meats or nuts, and fruits and vegetables.\\nMake sure to allot time for physical activity, such as walking or jogging, for at least thirty minutes a day. You’ll also want to make sure to include time for rest and relaxation, such as reading a book. These will help underscore your healthy eating habits and contribute to your overall well-being.\\nFor example, a 3 mile (4.8 km) run will give you time to work out personal or professional problems if you need to while providing your body with needed exercise to maintain your health.\\nIn a world where you are easily contacted by cell phones, email, and social media, having unplugged alone time is vital to maintaining your health by minimizing how much input you need to process on a daily basis. For example, you can turn off all electronics at 10pm so that you have an hour or two all to yourself or with your family.\\n2-9. Be thankful\\nThere are many people who weren’t lucky enough to make it to 30. Be thankful for the fact that you are alive and for everything you have, which may help you counteract any negative thoughts that may arise about turning 30.\\nMake a list of everything for which you’re grateful. In situations where you feel negative, read the list of things for which you’re grateful. This will remind you to stay positive.\\nTips\\nContinue to set goals for your life and then work to achieve them. Being 30 doesn't mean you should stop growing or learning.\\nWarnings\\nBeware of people selling you anti-aging remedies, most don't work and just play on your vanity.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's always hard to accept hitting milestone birthdays. Thirty may be especially difficult because it's the first time many people begin to consider the fact that they are aging and mortal. In addition, some people may begin to think about achievements, goals, and failures, which can make turning thirty more daunting. However, by confronting your impending birthday and embracing your thirties, you can not only accept but also enjoy getting a little older.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Confronting the Reality of Turning 30\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out why you are scared of turning 30.\", \"描述\": \"Feeling anxiety about aging is completely normal, but your fear might be an unrealistic reaction to an experience or your conceptions of getting old. Identifying why you’re scared of turning 30 may help you more quickly accept this milestone.\\nYou might fear turning 30 because some people categorize it as “old.” However, with medical progress and longer life expectancy, thirty is no longer middle age.\\nYou might fear turning thirty because it makes you feel like you should accept more responsibility, act like an adult, or because you haven’t achieved everything you thought you would by this age.\\nConsider writing out your aging fears to help you realize that they’re not rational and accept your milestone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accept\", \"描述\": \"You can’t turn back the proverbial hand of time, so just accept—and welcome-- the fact that you’re turning thirty. Once you let go and recognize the inevitable, you may more easily accept turning 30.\\nMany others people in your life, including your parents and probably some of your friends, have turned 30 and survived. Know you will live through turning 30 and will probably enjoy the decade more than you did your 20s.\\nTake on the attitude that “30 is the new 20.” This behavioral tactic of framing the milestone to minimize its gravity may help you accept it more readily.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice yoga and meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Consider practicing gentle yoga and meditation to help stretch out your muscles. Doing these exercises can help relax and refocus you, and in turn may help you more readily accept that you’re turning 30.\\nTry doing gentle forms of yoga, such as restorative and yin yoga. These forms are specifically practiced to help stretch out and repair muscles and relax the body.\\nThere are many different health benefits to meditation such as lower blood pressure, decreased anxiety and depression, less stress, and greater feelings of relaxation and general well-being.\\nMeditation can also help liberate your mind and allow you to let go of the attachment to things you can’t control.\\nTalk to your doctor before you begin any yoga practice to make sure you’re healthy enough to practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember that age is just a number.\", \"描述\": \"This old truism has likely never been more accurate than today. With advances in health care and lifestyles, people are living longer and looker younger for longer periods of time.\\nTake some time and really think about what you feel turning 30 is \\\"supposed\\\" to look like. Ask yourself where you got those ideas about what you should have accomplished. Then, ask yourself whether you're okay with where you actually are. If not, think about what steps you can take to get to where you think you need to be.\\nIf you take care of yourself by exercising, eating healthy, getting plenty of rest, and avoiding stress, your body may be much healthier than that of someone younger than you.\\nSocietal pressures in the media often make aging look like a process of aches, feebleness, and inactivity. By keeping in mind Mark Twain’s statement, “age is an issue of mind over matter,” you may be able to not focus on the number of your age but how much you can do and how great you feel.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think about your accomplishments so far.\", \"描述\": \"Your twenties are a defining decade of your life that are filled with making life plans and getting settled. Think about what you’ve accomplished already in your twenties and how that can help set you up for another exciting decade in your thirties where plans may come to fruition.\\nYou can consider most major milestones in your twenties as accomplishments. For example, maybe you finished your education or started a family. You can use these accomplishments as starting points for goals during your thirties.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Forget and move on from failures.\", \"描述\": \"Accept that there is going to be failure in any endeavor. Learning to embrace the failure and then move on can help you to age gracefully and accept the upcoming challenges of the new decade.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let go of expectations.\", \"描述\": \"The inability to accept turning thirty may begin with expectations you had for yourself. Letting go of unrealistic or unfulfilled expectations can help you create a positive environment and start your thirties out on the right foot.\\nAccept that nothing is perfect. Imperfection adds character and letting go of any expectations of perfection will help you focus on the positive changes in your life.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Avoid comparing yourself to others.\", \"描述\": \"Every person is different and comparing yourself to other people can minimize your self-confidence, especially in an era when there is so much societal pressure to appear young. Focusing on yourself and not comparing yourself to others is essential to accepting your upcoming milestone.\\nDon’t let societal conceptions of age or aging discourage you. With so much focus on celebrities who seemingly don’t age—mostly with the help of cosmetic procedures-- it’s hard to accept aging.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Embracing Your 30s\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Throw yourself a fantastic party.\", \"描述\": \"Start off the decade on the right foot and throw yourself a fabulous party. Ushering in your thirties in a positive way can help you consider all of the wonderful things that may happen in the next decade.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Have confidence in everything you’ve learned during your twenties and believe that you can apply this knowledge to be successful in your thirties. By cultivating and projecting confidence in yourself, you can set yourself on the path for self acceptance and success during your thirties.\\nConfidence comes from many sources, including knowing that you have a good education and training, good relationships, or even that you look good.\\nFor example, if you feel that you took great care of your skin in your 20s, be confidence in the fact that you probably don’t have many wrinkles. You can also be confident if you finished your education or started a good job, or even had healthy children.\\nIt’s important to know that even if you are confident and successful, that failure is a part of the equation.\\nEmbrace the fact that most people in their thirties feel much more confident and comfortable in themselves, which can help you enjoy yourself and relax.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make plans and set goals.\", \"描述\": \"You likely made plans for yourself in your twenties and you should do the same for your thirties. In many cases, your goals or plans may be extension or the culmination of what you set out to do in your twenties. Having plans and goals can help give you a concrete purpose as you move into this new life phase.\\nSet goals for every aspect of your life: personal, professional, and otherwise. For example, you might want to start a family in your thirties or finally get your PhD.\\nGive yourself short- and long-term goals to achieve and reassess them every year.\\nMake plans to experience as much of life as you can through travel, education, or even just engaging with your community. Getting involved can help you forget your milestone and help you realize that your thirties are much more fulfilling than your twenties.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy any financial independence.\", \"描述\": \"Many people are in stable jobs or stable living situations by the time they are 30. Enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved by rewarding yourself with travel or buying a home.\\nYou don’t necessarily have to make big purchases to enjoy any financial independence you’ve achieved. Even being able to go to a nice restaurant is a way to enjoy having more money than you did when you were in your twenties.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Explore new activities.\", \"描述\": \"Trying new activities that interest you or even that someone invites you to join can make your thirties much more exciting. Even if you don’t enjoy it in the end, you will still be more informed and versatile than you were prior to trying the activity. Nurturing your curiosities by allowing yourself to explore the world around you is one of the best ways to embrace your thirties. At this age, you are more likely to truly appreciate activities such as travel and trying different foods and new hobbies.\\nYou can try artistic activities such as painting, dancing, or making music; do a new sport or even just take part in a pick up game; or engage in hobbies like photography or a book club.\\nBe open-minded to new trying activities even if they don't seem appealing at first.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Engage in your community or local area.\", \"描述\": \"Engaging with your community or the local area, such as through politics, will put you in contact with a wide variety of people and opinions. Exposure to different perspectives and people in your community can show you that getting older isn’t such a daunting process.\\nConsider volunteering at a local hospital or soup kitchen. Realizing that you are healthy and have the means to support yourself can help you further embrace your thirties.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Travel\", \"描述\": \"There is an unimaginable amount you can learn from other places, especially foreign countries and cultures. Travel experiences will expose you to different perspectives, histories, and opinions, and in turn can help you embrace your thirties.\\nTravel will show you that the world, even if it’s a nearby town, is multi-faceted and can add new sides to you, too. As you get older and wiser, you’re more able to recognize and appreciate the diversity around you as well as your role in the world.\\nMake sure to get off the beaten path when you travel. Hidden gems may surprise and enrich your experiences. Being more confident in yourself during your thirties can allow you to take these kinds of travel opportunities.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take care of your health.\", \"描述\": \"Taking care of your health is an important part of aging gracefully. Being healthy through exercise and diet can also help you more readily embrace aging and any changes.\\nEat healthy meals that meet all of your nutritional needs to maintain your health and well-being. For example, you need to make sure you’re getting enough protein, vitamins, and fiber through foods such as lean meats or nuts, and fruits and vegetables.\\nMake sure to allot time for physical activity, such as walking or jogging, for at least thirty minutes a day. You’ll also want to make sure to include time for rest and relaxation, such as reading a book. These will help underscore your healthy eating habits and contribute to your overall well-being.\\nFor example, a 3 mile (4.8 km) run will give you time to work out personal or professional problems if you need to while providing your body with needed exercise to maintain your health.\\nIn a world where you are easily contacted by cell phones, email, and social media, having unplugged alone time is vital to maintaining your health by minimizing how much input you need to process on a daily basis. For example, you can turn off all electronics at 10pm so that you have an hour or two all to yourself or with your family.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be thankful\", \"描述\": \"There are many people who weren’t lucky enough to make it to 30. Be thankful for the fact that you are alive and for everything you have, which may help you counteract any negative thoughts that may arise about turning 30.\\nMake a list of everything for which you’re grateful. In situations where you feel negative, read the list of things for which you’re grateful. This will remind you to stay positive.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Continue to set goals for your life and then work to achieve them. Being 30 doesn't mean you should stop growing or learning.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Beware of people selling you anti-aging remedies, most don't work and just play on your vanity.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
157 | How to Accept the Fact Your Partner Is Not Intelligent | 1. Compromising for a Happier Relationship
1-1. Remember intelligence is only one of your partner’s traits.
Evaluate the many reasons you and your partner are in a relationship. If a difference in intelligence has become a problem, it might be worth your time to think through your partner’s positive attributes.
1-2. Value trust over intelligence.
Trust is one of the many characteristics that make for happy, healthy relationships, and breach of trust is one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you’ve found a trustworthy partner, this may be more valuable than intelligence in the long run.
1-3. Choose honest communication.
Rather than focusing on the intellectual content of conversations with your partner, consider whether your partner communicates with you openly and honestly. The odds of finding a partner who shares your exact level of intelligence are slim. Finding a partner who understands the way you communicate and can effectively reciprocate this communication is much more likely.
1-4. Rate your partner’s emotional intelligence.
Remember intelligence based on educational background is just one of many types of intellect. Your relationship may be happier if you shift your focus to your partner’s emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and empathize with emotions and navigate emotional situations. Think through the following set of emotional intelligence compatibility questions.
Does your partner provide comfort when you’re sad?
Does your partner hear you out and validate your feelings when you’re mad?
Does your partner know when you’re upset without you telling them?
1-5. Recognize that your partner cannot provide everything you need.
One mistake couples make is assuming their significant other has to be their confidant, business partner, and whole world. This expectation is unrealistic. Every relationship we have with romantic partners, family members, and friends gives us something different. Maybe your partner can’t chat about Noam Chomsky, but they understand when you need to take a break or why you love comic books.
1-6. Maintain your own self-worth.
If you believe you’re dating below yourself because your partner is less intelligent than you are or vice versa, it may become tempting to adjust your own self-worth down. Remember your value and that of your partner are in no way interdependent. However, if you truly believe you’re not good enough for your partner or vice versa because of a difference in intelligence, the relationship may not be salvageable.
2. Seeing Your Partner Through Rose Tinted Glasses
2-1. View your partner through “rose tinted” glasses.
Being in love may not literally be like wearing rose tinted glasses, but psychological research suggests it can be beneficial to put your metaphorical rose tinted glasses back on and idealize your relationship and what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Couples who focus on the positive parts of their relationships and characteristics of their partners are happier and less likely to be divorced.
2-2. Support your partner’s desires to learn and engage.
Instead of viewing your partner’s lack of knowledge on a subject you’re passionate about as a negative, view this as an opportunity to share your knowledge. Encourage your partner’s interests, and take time to help them learn more.
2-3. Accept that differing intelligence doesn’t have to impact happiness.
Even if your partner is less intelligent than you are, finding someone who respects and encourages you will lead to more happiness than selecting a partner who is equally intelligent. Research shows that differing levels of intelligence between partners has little impact on their long term happiness, especially compared with factors like trust and respect.
2-4. Change the way you think about attraction.
We alter the way we think about things on an almost daily basis. If you have high blood pressure, you change your diet and exercise routines. If you can’t sleep at night, you take sleep aids and alter your schedule. When it comes to attraction, people have the mistaken belief they can’t change the way they feel, even if they continually end up in unhappy and unhealthy relationships.
If you repeatedly find yourself attracted to very smart or much less intelligent people, try to find a happy medium.
Look at other factors of attraction besides intelligence, and decide what matters to you most.
Shift your focus to finding a partner who is happy with or without you. These confident, content individuals will make better partners no matter what their IQ.
Tips
If you are genuinely unhappy, leave the relationship.
Don’t let doubts about your partner’s intelligence make them feel bad about themselves. Find ways to broach the subject with respect and kindness, if you truly need to discuss it with them at all.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Compromising for a Happier Relationship\\n1-1. Remember intelligence is only one of your partner’s traits.\\nEvaluate the many reasons you and your partner are in a relationship. If a difference in intelligence has become a problem, it might be worth your time to think through your partner’s positive attributes.\\n1-2. Value trust over intelligence.\\nTrust is one of the many characteristics that make for happy, healthy relationships, and breach of trust is one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you’ve found a trustworthy partner, this may be more valuable than intelligence in the long run.\\n1-3. Choose honest communication.\\nRather than focusing on the intellectual content of conversations with your partner, consider whether your partner communicates with you openly and honestly. The odds of finding a partner who shares your exact level of intelligence are slim. Finding a partner who understands the way you communicate and can effectively reciprocate this communication is much more likely.\\n1-4. Rate your partner’s emotional intelligence.\\nRemember intelligence based on educational background is just one of many types of intellect. Your relationship may be happier if you shift your focus to your partner’s emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and empathize with emotions and navigate emotional situations. Think through the following set of emotional intelligence compatibility questions.\\nDoes your partner provide comfort when you’re sad?\\nDoes your partner hear you out and validate your feelings when you’re mad?\\nDoes your partner know when you’re upset without you telling them?\\n1-5. Recognize that your partner cannot provide everything you need.\\nOne mistake couples make is assuming their significant other has to be their confidant, business partner, and whole world. This expectation is unrealistic. Every relationship we have with romantic partners, family members, and friends gives us something different. Maybe your partner can’t chat about Noam Chomsky, but they understand when you need to take a break or why you love comic books.\\n1-6. Maintain your own self-worth.\\nIf you believe you’re dating below yourself because your partner is less intelligent than you are or vice versa, it may become tempting to adjust your own self-worth down. Remember your value and that of your partner are in no way interdependent. However, if you truly believe you’re not good enough for your partner or vice versa because of a difference in intelligence, the relationship may not be salvageable.\\n2. Seeing Your Partner Through Rose Tinted Glasses\\n2-1. View your partner through “rose tinted” glasses.\\nBeing in love may not literally be like wearing rose tinted glasses, but psychological research suggests it can be beneficial to put your metaphorical rose tinted glasses back on and idealize your relationship and what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Couples who focus on the positive parts of their relationships and characteristics of their partners are happier and less likely to be divorced.\\n2-2. Support your partner’s desires to learn and engage.\\nInstead of viewing your partner’s lack of knowledge on a subject you’re passionate about as a negative, view this as an opportunity to share your knowledge. Encourage your partner’s interests, and take time to help them learn more.\\n2-3. Accept that differing intelligence doesn’t have to impact happiness.\\nEven if your partner is less intelligent than you are, finding someone who respects and encourages you will lead to more happiness than selecting a partner who is equally intelligent. Research shows that differing levels of intelligence between partners has little impact on their long term happiness, especially compared with factors like trust and respect.\\n2-4. Change the way you think about attraction.\\nWe alter the way we think about things on an almost daily basis. If you have high blood pressure, you change your diet and exercise routines. If you can’t sleep at night, you take sleep aids and alter your schedule. When it comes to attraction, people have the mistaken belief they can’t change the way they feel, even if they continually end up in unhappy and unhealthy relationships. \\nIf you repeatedly find yourself attracted to very smart or much less intelligent people, try to find a happy medium.\\nLook at other factors of attraction besides intelligence, and decide what matters to you most.\\nShift your focus to finding a partner who is happy with or without you. These confident, content individuals will make better partners no matter what their IQ.\\nTips\\nIf you are genuinely unhappy, leave the relationship.\\nDon’t let doubts about your partner’s intelligence make them feel bad about themselves. Find ways to broach the subject with respect and kindness, if you truly need to discuss it with them at all.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your partner not being as intelligent as you like does not mean an end to a relationship because you can come to accept that fact by focusing on the positive parts of your relationship and the qualities in your partner that you like. Everyone has positive and negative characteristics, and not everyone is or can be academically successful. That said, there are certainly other things about your partner that you admire and love. Accepting your partner for who they are and learning to compromise will lead to a happier, healthier relationship for both of you!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compromising for a Happier Relationship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember intelligence is only one of your partner’s traits.\", \"描述\": \"Evaluate the many reasons you and your partner are in a relationship. If a difference in intelligence has become a problem, it might be worth your time to think through your partner’s positive attributes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Value trust over intelligence.\", \"描述\": \"Trust is one of the many characteristics that make for happy, healthy relationships, and breach of trust is one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you’ve found a trustworthy partner, this may be more valuable than intelligence in the long run.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose honest communication.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than focusing on the intellectual content of conversations with your partner, consider whether your partner communicates with you openly and honestly. The odds of finding a partner who shares your exact level of intelligence are slim. Finding a partner who understands the way you communicate and can effectively reciprocate this communication is much more likely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Rate your partner’s emotional intelligence.\", \"描述\": \"Remember intelligence based on educational background is just one of many types of intellect. Your relationship may be happier if you shift your focus to your partner’s emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and empathize with emotions and navigate emotional situations. Think through the following set of emotional intelligence compatibility questions.\\nDoes your partner provide comfort when you’re sad?\\nDoes your partner hear you out and validate your feelings when you’re mad?\\nDoes your partner know when you’re upset without you telling them?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recognize that your partner cannot provide everything you need.\", \"描述\": \"One mistake couples make is assuming their significant other has to be their confidant, business partner, and whole world. This expectation is unrealistic. Every relationship we have with romantic partners, family members, and friends gives us something different. Maybe your partner can’t chat about Noam Chomsky, but they understand when you need to take a break or why you love comic books.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Maintain your own self-worth.\", \"描述\": \"If you believe you’re dating below yourself because your partner is less intelligent than you are or vice versa, it may become tempting to adjust your own self-worth down. Remember your value and that of your partner are in no way interdependent. However, if you truly believe you’re not good enough for your partner or vice versa because of a difference in intelligence, the relationship may not be salvageable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seeing Your Partner Through Rose Tinted Glasses\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"View your partner through “rose tinted” glasses.\", \"描述\": \"Being in love may not literally be like wearing rose tinted glasses, but psychological research suggests it can be beneficial to put your metaphorical rose tinted glasses back on and idealize your relationship and what attracted you to your partner in the first place. Couples who focus on the positive parts of their relationships and characteristics of their partners are happier and less likely to be divorced.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Support your partner’s desires to learn and engage.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of viewing your partner’s lack of knowledge on a subject you’re passionate about as a negative, view this as an opportunity to share your knowledge. Encourage your partner’s interests, and take time to help them learn more.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept that differing intelligence doesn’t have to impact happiness.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your partner is less intelligent than you are, finding someone who respects and encourages you will lead to more happiness than selecting a partner who is equally intelligent. Research shows that differing levels of intelligence between partners has little impact on their long term happiness, especially compared with factors like trust and respect.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Change the way you think about attraction.\", \"描述\": \"We alter the way we think about things on an almost daily basis. If you have high blood pressure, you change your diet and exercise routines. If you can’t sleep at night, you take sleep aids and alter your schedule. When it comes to attraction, people have the mistaken belief they can’t change the way they feel, even if they continually end up in unhappy and unhealthy relationships. \\nIf you repeatedly find yourself attracted to very smart or much less intelligent people, try to find a happy medium.\\nLook at other factors of attraction besides intelligence, and decide what matters to you most.\\nShift your focus to finding a partner who is happy with or without you. These confident, content individuals will make better partners no matter what their IQ.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you are genuinely unhappy, leave the relationship.\\n\", \"Don’t let doubts about your partner’s intelligence make them feel bad about themselves. Find ways to broach the subject with respect and kindness, if you truly need to discuss it with them at all.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
158 | How to Access Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 | 1. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 Using the Default Configuration
Access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 by opening the Active Directory Administrative Center.
The Active Directory Administrative Center is the Graphical User Interface (GUI) for the Active Directory.
Click Start to open the Start Menu from the desktop.
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Left-click on the Administrative Tools option from the Start Menu and select the Active Directory Administration Center.
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2. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 When Microsoft's Active Directory Explorer Is Installed
Access the Active Directory in Active Directory Explorer (AD Explorer).
Administrators will use AD Explorer to open the Active Directory when this application is installed. AD Explorer is an enhanced Active Directory viewer and editor application created by Microsoft. AD Explorer can be downloaded free of charge from the Microsoft website.
Click on the Start Menu from the desktop and point to the All Programs option.
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Locate and select Active Directory Explorer from the list of available programs found in the All Programs menu.
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3. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 with Exchange Server
Access the Active Directory using Microsoft Exchange whenever Exchange Server is installed on your network.
Click Start to open the Start menu from the desktop.
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Point to All Programs from the Start Menu and select Exchange Server from the list of programs.
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Tips
You must be logged in as Administrator in order to access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008. Users without administrator privileges will not be allowed access to the Active Directory regardless of the server tools or network management applications that are employed.
Warnings
Create a comprehensive back-up of your server and network settings before making any changes to your current configuration. Failing to do so may lead to the loss of important data and or cause unwanted changes. Be sure to set up a restore point using System Restore prior to installing new programs or making major adjustments to your current system settings.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 Using the Default Configuration\\nAccess the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 by opening the Active Directory Administrative Center.\\nThe Active Directory Administrative Center is the Graphical User Interface (GUI) for the Active Directory.\\nClick Start to open the Start Menu from the desktop.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nLeft-click on the Administrative Tools option from the Start Menu and select the Active Directory Administration Center.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/21\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/21\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n2. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 When Microsoft's Active Directory Explorer Is Installed\\nAccess the Active Directory in Active Directory Explorer (AD Explorer).\\nAdministrators will use AD Explorer to open the Active Directory when this application is installed. AD Explorer is an enhanced Active Directory viewer and editor application created by Microsoft. AD Explorer can be downloaded free of charge from the Microsoft website.\\nClick on the Start Menu from the desktop and point to the All Programs option.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nLocate and select Active Directory Explorer from the list of available programs found in the All Programs menu.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2e\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2e\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n3. Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 with Exchange Server\\nAccess the Active Directory using Microsoft Exchange whenever Exchange Server is installed on your network.\\nClick Start to open the Start menu from the desktop.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nPoint to All Programs from the Start Menu and select Exchange Server from the list of programs.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nTips\\nYou must be logged in as Administrator in order to access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008. Users without administrator privileges will not be allowed access to the Active Directory regardless of the server tools or network management applications that are employed.\\nWarnings\\nCreate a comprehensive back-up of your server and network settings before making any changes to your current configuration. Failing to do so may lead to the loss of important data and or cause unwanted changes. Be sure to set up a restore point using System Restore prior to installing new programs or making major adjustments to your current system settings.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Active Directory (AD) is a directory service included in the Microsoft Windows Server 2008 operating system. The Active Directory acts as a central hub from which network administrators can perform a variety of tasks related to network management. An administrator may wish to access the Active Directory in order to set security policies, manage user accounts, store data and settings, or deploy and update software across a network. There are different methods for accessing the Active Directory in Server 2008, depending on which programs are installed on a particular server. Use these steps to access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 Using the Default Configuration\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 by opening the Active Directory Administrative Center.\", \"描述\": \"The Active Directory Administrative Center is the Graphical User Interface (GUI) for the Active Directory.\\nClick Start to open the Start Menu from the desktop.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/5\\\\/54\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nLeft-click on the Administrative Tools option from the Start Menu and select the Active Directory Administration Center.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/21\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/21\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-1Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 When Microsoft's Active Directory Explorer Is Installed\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Access the Active Directory in Active Directory Explorer (AD Explorer).\", \"描述\": \"Administrators will use AD Explorer to open the Active Directory when this application is installed. AD Explorer is an enhanced Active Directory viewer and editor application created by Microsoft. AD Explorer can be downloaded free of charge from the Microsoft website.\\nClick on the Start Menu from the desktop and point to the All Programs option.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nLocate and select Active Directory Explorer from the list of available programs found in the All Programs menu.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2e\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/2e\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet2.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008 with Exchange Server\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Access the Active Directory using Microsoft Exchange whenever Exchange Server is installed on your network.\", \"描述\": \"Click Start to open the Start menu from the desktop.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/d\\\\/d2\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-3Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\nPoint to All Programs from the Start Menu and select Exchange Server from the list of programs.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/c\\\\/c9\\\\/Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\\/aid1360425-v4-728px-Access-Active-Directory-in-Windows-Server-2008-Step-2Bullet1.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":345,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":546,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You must be logged in as Administrator in order to access the Active Directory in Windows Server 2008. Users without administrator privileges will not be allowed access to the Active Directory regardless of the server tools or network management applications that are employed.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Create a comprehensive back-up of your server and network settings before making any changes to your current configuration. Failing to do so may lead to the loss of important data and or cause unwanted changes. Be sure to set up a restore point using System Restore prior to installing new programs or making major adjustments to your current system settings.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
159 | How to Access Admin Commands in ARK | 1. Steps
1-1. Launch ARK.
You'll find this game in your Start menu or Applications folder in Finder.
1-2. Press Tab ↹.
If this doesn't open the in-game console command, you'll need to change some things in the game's .ini file.
Open the "DefaultInput.ini" file in Notepad or something similar (like TextEdit). Find "+ConsoleKeys=Tab" and delete the semicolon in front of the code line. Save the file and restart the game. Pressing should open the in-game console command.
If you're using an Xbox One, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .
If you're using a PS4, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .
1-3. Enter "enable cheats (YourPassword)" or "SetCheatPlayer "true/false""
. Many codes require either of these before they will work.
If you're playing in multiplayer mode, you'll need to prefix any code with "admincheat." If you're playing singleplayer, you don't need the prefix.
Try "admincheat fly" to hover over the ground, which can make scouting the map easier. Type "admincheat walk" to remove the flying cheat.
There are so many cheat codes you can use, so if you want to see a comprehensive list, you can see them here. However, many of the most popular codes include:
admincheat addexperience <amount> 0 <share>
admincheat AllowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>
admincheat DisallowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>
admincheat Ban <player>
admincheat Unban <player>
admincheat Broadcast <message>
admincheat DamageTarget <amount>
admincheat DestroyAll <type>
admincheat forcetame
admincheat GiveItemNum <item_id> <quantity> <quality> <blueprint>
admincheat god
admincheat KickPlayer <steam_id>
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Launch ARK.\\nYou'll find this game in your Start menu or Applications folder in Finder.\\n1-2. Press Tab ↹.\\nIf this doesn't open the in-game console command, you'll need to change some things in the game's .ini file.\\nOpen the \\\"DefaultInput.ini\\\" file in Notepad or something similar (like TextEdit). Find \\\"+ConsoleKeys=Tab\\\" and delete the semicolon in front of the code line. Save the file and restart the game. Pressing should open the in-game console command.\\nIf you're using an Xbox One, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .\\nIf you're using a PS4, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .\\n1-3. Enter \\\"enable cheats (YourPassword)\\\" or \\\"SetCheatPlayer \\\"true/false\\\"\\\"\\n. Many codes require either of these before they will work.\\nIf you're playing in multiplayer mode, you'll need to prefix any code with \\\"admincheat.\\\" If you're playing singleplayer, you don't need the prefix.\\nTry \\\"admincheat fly\\\" to hover over the ground, which can make scouting the map easier. Type \\\"admincheat walk\\\" to remove the flying cheat.\\nThere are so many cheat codes you can use, so if you want to see a comprehensive list, you can see them here. However, many of the most popular codes include:\\nadmincheat addexperience <amount> 0 <share>\\nadmincheat AllowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>\\nadmincheat DisallowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>\\nadmincheat Ban <player>\\nadmincheat Unban <player>\\nadmincheat Broadcast <message>\\nadmincheat DamageTarget <amount>\\nadmincheat DestroyAll <type>\\nadmincheat forcetame\\nadmincheat GiveItemNum <item_id> <quantity> <quality> <blueprint>\\nadmincheat god\\nadmincheat KickPlayer <steam_id>\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow will teach you how to access admin commands in ARK: Survival Evolved. Admin codes, also known as console commands, in ARK are similar to cheat codes that let you instantly tame a dinosaur, add points to your skills, or destroy every dinosaur in the game.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch ARK.\", \"描述\": \"You'll find this game in your Start menu or Applications folder in Finder.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press Tab ↹.\", \"描述\": \"If this doesn't open the in-game console command, you'll need to change some things in the game's .ini file.\\nOpen the \\\"DefaultInput.ini\\\" file in Notepad or something similar (like TextEdit). Find \\\"+ConsoleKeys=Tab\\\" and delete the semicolon in front of the code line. Save the file and restart the game. Pressing should open the in-game console command.\\nIf you're using an Xbox One, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .\\nIf you're using a PS4, go to the pause menu and simultaneously press .\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter \\\"enable cheats (YourPassword)\\\" or \\\"SetCheatPlayer \\\"true/false\\\"\\\"\", \"描述\": \". Many codes require either of these before they will work.\\nIf you're playing in multiplayer mode, you'll need to prefix any code with \\\"admincheat.\\\" If you're playing singleplayer, you don't need the prefix.\\nTry \\\"admincheat fly\\\" to hover over the ground, which can make scouting the map easier. Type \\\"admincheat walk\\\" to remove the flying cheat.\\nThere are so many cheat codes you can use, so if you want to see a comprehensive list, you can see them here. However, many of the most popular codes include:\\nadmincheat addexperience <amount> 0 <share>\\nadmincheat AllowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>\\nadmincheat DisallowPlayerToJoinNoCheck <player>\\nadmincheat Ban <player>\\nadmincheat Unban <player>\\nadmincheat Broadcast <message>\\nadmincheat DamageTarget <amount>\\nadmincheat DestroyAll <type>\\nadmincheat forcetame\\nadmincheat GiveItemNum <item_id> <quantity> <quality> <blueprint>\\nadmincheat god\\nadmincheat KickPlayer <steam_id>\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
160 | How to Access Akashic Records | 1. Focusing Your Search
1-1. Identify your intentions for accessing the Akashic records.
Before you attempt to access the Akashic records, it’s helpful to think about why you want to do it. What do you want to know and how might this knowledge help you? Clarify this for yourself before you begin. Not knowing what you want to find out can result in a disorganized search and you might have a hard time accessing any sort of helpful information.
Possible intentions might include understanding why you have a short temper so you can learn to control it better, gaining clarity on your goals so you can make an important career decision, or getting in tune with your values so you can seek like-minded people for relationships.
1-2. Write down any specific questions about your past life.
Making a list of questions or topics of interest that may help you to get the information you seek. Try to make your questions as specific as possible to aid you in your search.
For example, you might ask, “What professions did I have in my past lives?” or “Where did I live in my past lives?” or “Have I ever experienced a tragedy in a past life that is affecting my current life?”
1-3. Ask questions that can help you make a decision in your current life.
Express a problem you’ve been having and then state or ask for the information you would like. This will help to narrow your search and make any information that you find more relevant to your current experience.
Try saying something like, “I’m considering moving to a different city, but I change my mind a lot. Is there anything in my past that could help me to understand if this is the best choice for me?”
Or you might say, “Lately I’ve been struggling to trust my significant other. I feel that this is based on something more than I am aware of in my present life. If I am correct, please provide me with the information on when and how this problem originated.”
1-4. Try asking one question at a time to focus more.
This approach might make it easier to gain clarity on an issue, similar to how you might focus on one aspect of your life at a time during a tarot card or palm reading. Focus on your relationships, career, health, and other personal interests one at a time.
For example, you might start by asking, “Is my relationship going to result in marriage or are we just too different for things to work out?”
Then, you might ask, “Will I get the promotion I have been working so hard to get, or will I have to wait?”
2. Entering a Receptive State
2-1. State your intention or question aloud and ask for guidance.
When you feel ready to begin the process of accessing your Akashic records, say what you’re looking for out loud. Focus on the question or search query that you have developed. Keep it at the forefront of your mind so that you will remain focused on it during your search.
Remember to state your question as specifically as possible, such as by saying, "What professions did I hold in my past lives that may help me to find what I should be in this life?"
2-2. Sit or lie down in a comfortable, quiet place.
You may attempt to access your Akashic records anywhere, but it helps if you are somewhere that you won’t be interrupted. Try doing this in your bedroom with the door closed. You may want to try this early in the morning, at night, or a time of day when no one else is at home. Use pillows and blankets to make yourself comfortable.
2-3. Breathe deeply
Start by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose to the count of 4, then hold for 4 seconds, and exhale through your mouth to the count of 4. Continue to breathe deeply in this way for 5 minutes or as long as it takes to get yourself into a state of deep relaxation.
Try placing your hands on your stomach to help you focus on your breath.
2-4. Meditate
Once you have entered a state of deep relaxation, clear your mind of all thoughts except for your question. Try repeating your question or search query like a mantra to stay focused. Your mind may wander at times, and this is normal. If you notice your thoughts straying to day-to-day concerns, redirect yourself to your mantra and continue meditating. Breathe deeply throughout the meditation.
There are also guided meditations available that you can use to help you access the Akashic records.
2-5. Ask to be granted access to the Akashic records.
Once you have been meditating for 5 minutes or longer, you may be able to access the Akashic records. Request permission by asking out loud or silently, “I am seeking information about my past lives. May I please access the Akashic records to find what I seek?” After you ask this question, continue to breathe deeply and clear your mind.
You may hear, feel, or see a response in your mind’s eye. Remain patient even if you get a negative response. This may only mean that you need to continue meditating and ask again.
2-6. Wait for information to come into your consciousness.
Now that you have put your question and request for access to the Akashic records out into the universe, the only thing left to do is wait. Continue to breathe and meditate and remain receptive to any information that floats into your consciousness as this may be coming from your Akashic record.
Bear in mind that the information can take on different forms. You may hear, see, taste, feel, or even smell something that might be meant to convey a message to you.
For example, if you’ve asked about your profession in a previous life, you might see a hammer in your mind’s eye, which could indicate that you were a carpenter or blacksmith. Or, you might experience a sweet taste, which could indicate that you were a baker.
2-7. Introduce yourself and repeat your question to anyone you encounter.
Sometimes when you’re accessing the Akashic records, you might see or feel the presence of another being or soul nearby. If this happens, introduce yourself and state your question again. The being may be a guardian or keeper of the records who can help you find the information you seek, or it may be another soul who you have known in a past life. Either way you may gain valuable information by taking a moment to introduce yourself and ask for help.
Try saying something like, “Hello, my name is Jonah Johnson and I am looking for information about any phobias I had in my past lives.”
3. Interpreting What You Find
3-1. Open your eyes and reorient yourself to your surroundings.
After you finish accessing your records or whenever you’re ready to end the meditation, slowly open your eyes. Notice the details of the room you are in, as well as the sounds, the smells, and the feel of your environment. Slowly sit back up if you were lying down. You may also stand up or stay seated for a while if you prefer.
3-2. Reflect on the experience after you finish your meditation.
Take out a pen and paper and write down anything that you remember about the experience. What images did you see? Did you feel, smell, taste, or hear anything? Read over your notes to look for helpful details from your meditation and keep the notes so you can return to them later.
3-3. Repeat the process regularly to continue learning more.
Schedule a time once or more often every week to repeat this meditation and access the Akashic records. You may keep the same question every time, or come up with a new question if you are satisfied with what you got from your last session.
For example, if you feel confident that you have learned about all of your past professions, you might move on to ask about your past relationships next.
Tips
If you couldn't access the Akashic Records, try again later! It takes practice and commitment, just like all things.
Warnings
Only read your own Akashic records. Never read someone else’s Akashic records unless you have their explicit permission to do so.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Focusing Your Search\\n1-1. Identify your intentions for accessing the Akashic records.\\nBefore you attempt to access the Akashic records, it’s helpful to think about why you want to do it. What do you want to know and how might this knowledge help you? Clarify this for yourself before you begin. Not knowing what you want to find out can result in a disorganized search and you might have a hard time accessing any sort of helpful information.\\nPossible intentions might include understanding why you have a short temper so you can learn to control it better, gaining clarity on your goals so you can make an important career decision, or getting in tune with your values so you can seek like-minded people for relationships.\\n1-2. Write down any specific questions about your past life.\\nMaking a list of questions or topics of interest that may help you to get the information you seek. Try to make your questions as specific as possible to aid you in your search.\\nFor example, you might ask, “What professions did I have in my past lives?” or “Where did I live in my past lives?” or “Have I ever experienced a tragedy in a past life that is affecting my current life?”\\n1-3. Ask questions that can help you make a decision in your current life.\\nExpress a problem you’ve been having and then state or ask for the information you would like. This will help to narrow your search and make any information that you find more relevant to your current experience.\\nTry saying something like, “I’m considering moving to a different city, but I change my mind a lot. Is there anything in my past that could help me to understand if this is the best choice for me?”\\nOr you might say, “Lately I’ve been struggling to trust my significant other. I feel that this is based on something more than I am aware of in my present life. If I am correct, please provide me with the information on when and how this problem originated.”\\n1-4. Try asking one question at a time to focus more.\\nThis approach might make it easier to gain clarity on an issue, similar to how you might focus on one aspect of your life at a time during a tarot card or palm reading. Focus on your relationships, career, health, and other personal interests one at a time.\\nFor example, you might start by asking, “Is my relationship going to result in marriage or are we just too different for things to work out?”\\nThen, you might ask, “Will I get the promotion I have been working so hard to get, or will I have to wait?”\\n2. Entering a Receptive State\\n2-1. State your intention or question aloud and ask for guidance.\\nWhen you feel ready to begin the process of accessing your Akashic records, say what you’re looking for out loud. Focus on the question or search query that you have developed. Keep it at the forefront of your mind so that you will remain focused on it during your search.\\nRemember to state your question as specifically as possible, such as by saying, \\\"What professions did I hold in my past lives that may help me to find what I should be in this life?\\\"\\n2-2. Sit or lie down in a comfortable, quiet place.\\nYou may attempt to access your Akashic records anywhere, but it helps if you are somewhere that you won’t be interrupted. Try doing this in your bedroom with the door closed. You may want to try this early in the morning, at night, or a time of day when no one else is at home. Use pillows and blankets to make yourself comfortable.\\n2-3. Breathe deeply\\nStart by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose to the count of 4, then hold for 4 seconds, and exhale through your mouth to the count of 4. Continue to breathe deeply in this way for 5 minutes or as long as it takes to get yourself into a state of deep relaxation.\\nTry placing your hands on your stomach to help you focus on your breath.\\n2-4. Meditate\\nOnce you have entered a state of deep relaxation, clear your mind of all thoughts except for your question. Try repeating your question or search query like a mantra to stay focused. Your mind may wander at times, and this is normal. If you notice your thoughts straying to day-to-day concerns, redirect yourself to your mantra and continue meditating. Breathe deeply throughout the meditation.\\nThere are also guided meditations available that you can use to help you access the Akashic records.\\n2-5. Ask to be granted access to the Akashic records.\\nOnce you have been meditating for 5 minutes or longer, you may be able to access the Akashic records. Request permission by asking out loud or silently, “I am seeking information about my past lives. May I please access the Akashic records to find what I seek?” After you ask this question, continue to breathe deeply and clear your mind.\\nYou may hear, feel, or see a response in your mind’s eye. Remain patient even if you get a negative response. This may only mean that you need to continue meditating and ask again.\\n2-6. Wait for information to come into your consciousness.\\nNow that you have put your question and request for access to the Akashic records out into the universe, the only thing left to do is wait. Continue to breathe and meditate and remain receptive to any information that floats into your consciousness as this may be coming from your Akashic record.\\nBear in mind that the information can take on different forms. You may hear, see, taste, feel, or even smell something that might be meant to convey a message to you.\\nFor example, if you’ve asked about your profession in a previous life, you might see a hammer in your mind’s eye, which could indicate that you were a carpenter or blacksmith. Or, you might experience a sweet taste, which could indicate that you were a baker.\\n2-7. Introduce yourself and repeat your question to anyone you encounter.\\nSometimes when you’re accessing the Akashic records, you might see or feel the presence of another being or soul nearby. If this happens, introduce yourself and state your question again. The being may be a guardian or keeper of the records who can help you find the information you seek, or it may be another soul who you have known in a past life. Either way you may gain valuable information by taking a moment to introduce yourself and ask for help.\\nTry saying something like, “Hello, my name is Jonah Johnson and I am looking for information about any phobias I had in my past lives.”\\n3. Interpreting What You Find\\n3-1. Open your eyes and reorient yourself to your surroundings.\\nAfter you finish accessing your records or whenever you’re ready to end the meditation, slowly open your eyes. Notice the details of the room you are in, as well as the sounds, the smells, and the feel of your environment. Slowly sit back up if you were lying down. You may also stand up or stay seated for a while if you prefer.\\n3-2. Reflect on the experience after you finish your meditation.\\nTake out a pen and paper and write down anything that you remember about the experience. What images did you see? Did you feel, smell, taste, or hear anything? Read over your notes to look for helpful details from your meditation and keep the notes so you can return to them later.\\n3-3. Repeat the process regularly to continue learning more.\\nSchedule a time once or more often every week to repeat this meditation and access the Akashic records. You may keep the same question every time, or come up with a new question if you are satisfied with what you got from your last session.\\nFor example, if you feel confident that you have learned about all of your past professions, you might move on to ask about your past relationships next.\\nTips\\nIf you couldn't access the Akashic Records, try again later! It takes practice and commitment, just like all things.\\nWarnings\\nOnly read your own Akashic records. Never read someone else’s Akashic records unless you have their explicit permission to do so.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In theosophy and anthroposophy, the akashic records (from akasha, the Sanskrit word for “sky,” “space,” or “æther”) are a compendium of mystical knowledge encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the astral plane. The Akashic Records are every thought that has ever been and every probability that will ever be. You can learn about your past lives by accessing your own Akashic records, so it may help you know yourself better on a spiritual level. Although it can take some time and practice to find what you’re looking for, you may be able to access your Akashic records using a simple meditation process.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Focusing Your Search\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Identify your intentions for accessing the Akashic records.\", \"描述\": \"Before you attempt to access the Akashic records, it’s helpful to think about why you want to do it. What do you want to know and how might this knowledge help you? Clarify this for yourself before you begin. Not knowing what you want to find out can result in a disorganized search and you might have a hard time accessing any sort of helpful information.\\nPossible intentions might include understanding why you have a short temper so you can learn to control it better, gaining clarity on your goals so you can make an important career decision, or getting in tune with your values so you can seek like-minded people for relationships.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down any specific questions about your past life.\", \"描述\": \"Making a list of questions or topics of interest that may help you to get the information you seek. Try to make your questions as specific as possible to aid you in your search.\\nFor example, you might ask, “What professions did I have in my past lives?” or “Where did I live in my past lives?” or “Have I ever experienced a tragedy in a past life that is affecting my current life?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions that can help you make a decision in your current life.\", \"描述\": \"Express a problem you’ve been having and then state or ask for the information you would like. This will help to narrow your search and make any information that you find more relevant to your current experience.\\nTry saying something like, “I’m considering moving to a different city, but I change my mind a lot. Is there anything in my past that could help me to understand if this is the best choice for me?”\\nOr you might say, “Lately I’ve been struggling to trust my significant other. I feel that this is based on something more than I am aware of in my present life. If I am correct, please provide me with the information on when and how this problem originated.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try asking one question at a time to focus more.\", \"描述\": \"This approach might make it easier to gain clarity on an issue, similar to how you might focus on one aspect of your life at a time during a tarot card or palm reading. Focus on your relationships, career, health, and other personal interests one at a time.\\nFor example, you might start by asking, “Is my relationship going to result in marriage or are we just too different for things to work out?”\\nThen, you might ask, “Will I get the promotion I have been working so hard to get, or will I have to wait?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Entering a Receptive State\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"State your intention or question aloud and ask for guidance.\", \"描述\": \"When you feel ready to begin the process of accessing your Akashic records, say what you’re looking for out loud. Focus on the question or search query that you have developed. Keep it at the forefront of your mind so that you will remain focused on it during your search.\\nRemember to state your question as specifically as possible, such as by saying, \\\"What professions did I hold in my past lives that may help me to find what I should be in this life?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sit or lie down in a comfortable, quiet place.\", \"描述\": \"You may attempt to access your Akashic records anywhere, but it helps if you are somewhere that you won’t be interrupted. Try doing this in your bedroom with the door closed. You may want to try this early in the morning, at night, or a time of day when no one else is at home. Use pillows and blankets to make yourself comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Breathe deeply\", \"描述\": \"Start by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Inhale through your nose to the count of 4, then hold for 4 seconds, and exhale through your mouth to the count of 4. Continue to breathe deeply in this way for 5 minutes or as long as it takes to get yourself into a state of deep relaxation.\\nTry placing your hands on your stomach to help you focus on your breath.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Meditate\", \"描述\": \"Once you have entered a state of deep relaxation, clear your mind of all thoughts except for your question. Try repeating your question or search query like a mantra to stay focused. Your mind may wander at times, and this is normal. If you notice your thoughts straying to day-to-day concerns, redirect yourself to your mantra and continue meditating. Breathe deeply throughout the meditation.\\nThere are also guided meditations available that you can use to help you access the Akashic records.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask to be granted access to the Akashic records.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have been meditating for 5 minutes or longer, you may be able to access the Akashic records. Request permission by asking out loud or silently, “I am seeking information about my past lives. May I please access the Akashic records to find what I seek?” After you ask this question, continue to breathe deeply and clear your mind.\\nYou may hear, feel, or see a response in your mind’s eye. Remain patient even if you get a negative response. This may only mean that you need to continue meditating and ask again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wait for information to come into your consciousness.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you have put your question and request for access to the Akashic records out into the universe, the only thing left to do is wait. Continue to breathe and meditate and remain receptive to any information that floats into your consciousness as this may be coming from your Akashic record.\\nBear in mind that the information can take on different forms. You may hear, see, taste, feel, or even smell something that might be meant to convey a message to you.\\nFor example, if you’ve asked about your profession in a previous life, you might see a hammer in your mind’s eye, which could indicate that you were a carpenter or blacksmith. Or, you might experience a sweet taste, which could indicate that you were a baker.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself and repeat your question to anyone you encounter.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes when you’re accessing the Akashic records, you might see or feel the presence of another being or soul nearby. If this happens, introduce yourself and state your question again. The being may be a guardian or keeper of the records who can help you find the information you seek, or it may be another soul who you have known in a past life. Either way you may gain valuable information by taking a moment to introduce yourself and ask for help.\\nTry saying something like, “Hello, my name is Jonah Johnson and I am looking for information about any phobias I had in my past lives.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Interpreting What You Find\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your eyes and reorient yourself to your surroundings.\", \"描述\": \"After you finish accessing your records or whenever you’re ready to end the meditation, slowly open your eyes. Notice the details of the room you are in, as well as the sounds, the smells, and the feel of your environment. Slowly sit back up if you were lying down. You may also stand up or stay seated for a while if you prefer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reflect on the experience after you finish your meditation.\", \"描述\": \"Take out a pen and paper and write down anything that you remember about the experience. What images did you see? Did you feel, smell, taste, or hear anything? Read over your notes to look for helpful details from your meditation and keep the notes so you can return to them later.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Repeat the process regularly to continue learning more.\", \"描述\": \"Schedule a time once or more often every week to repeat this meditation and access the Akashic records. You may keep the same question every time, or come up with a new question if you are satisfied with what you got from your last session.\\nFor example, if you feel confident that you have learned about all of your past professions, you might move on to ask about your past relationships next.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you couldn't access the Akashic Records, try again later! It takes practice and commitment, just like all things.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Only read your own Akashic records. Never read someone else’s Akashic records unless you have their explicit permission to do so.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
161 | How to Access Android System Files | 1. Steps
1-1. Root your Android
If you want to be able to access your Android's system files you'll need to root your Android phone first. The process of rooting an Android differs for each manufacturer and model, while some phones cannot be rooted at all. Research what's involved in rooting your phone before attempting to make changes to your device.
Rooting your Android isn't as dangerous as it may sound, but it will void your warranty and may compromise the security of your phone.
1-2. Download ES File Explorer.
Skip this step if you already have ES File Explorer. To download ES File Explorer, open the {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/1\/1e\/Androidgoogleplay.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Androidgoogleplay.png\/26px-Androidgoogleplay.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":531,"bigWidth":26,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fair_use\">Fair Use<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"} , then do the following:
Tap the search bar.
Type in es file explorer
Tap in the resulting drop-down menu.
Tap
Tap when prompted.
Select your Android's internal storage if prompted. Do not install ES File Explorer on your SD card.
1-3. Open ES File Explorer.
Tap in the Google Play Store, or tap the ES File Explorer app icon.
If this is your first time opening ES File Explorer, you may have to swipe through several pages before the main page opens.
1-4. Tap ☰.
It's in the top-left corner of the screen. The ES File Explorer menu will open.
1-5. Scroll down to the "Root Explorer" section.
This option is near the bottom of the menu. You should see a white switch to the right of it.
1-6. Tap the white "Root Explorer" switch .
It will turn blue {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/2\/28\/Android7switchon.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/28\/Android7switchon.png\/35px-Android7switchon.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":394,"bigWidth":35,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fair_use\">Fair Use<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"}. As long as your Android is rooted and ES File Explorer is installed on your Android's internal storage, this will enable root access for ES File Explorer.
1-7. Wait for root folders to appear.
After a second or two, ES File Explorer will refresh; when it finishes, you should see root files and folders displays.
1-8. Fix the "test failed" error if necessary.
If for some reason ES File Explorer ended up on your Android's SD card, you may see an error that says "Sorry, test failed. This feature cannot run on your device." appear at the bottom of the screen. You can fix this error by moving ES File Explorer onto your Android's internal storage:
Open ES File Explorer's "App Info" page in Settings.
Tap
Tap under the SD card's heading.
Tap
Wait for ES File Explorer to finish moving.
1-9. Explore your Android's system files.
You can browse through your Android's files and folders like usual, but you should now see system files and folders included in ES File Explorer.
Any folders that are a lighter color than your Android's standard folders are root folders.
Do not change any system files unless you're absolutely positive about what the outcome will be. Doing so is a guaranteed way to brick your Android phone.
Tips
It's helpful to update your Android's operating system to the latest version available before accessing its system files, since the files may change depending on the operating system.
Warnings
When you delete files and applications, make sure that you don't delete anything that you aren't 100% sure is safe to delete. You can permanently damage your Android phone if you delete any system files that are necessary to operate the phone.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:30",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Root your Android\\nIf you want to be able to access your Android's system files you'll need to root your Android phone first. The process of rooting an Android differs for each manufacturer and model, while some phones cannot be rooted at all. Research what's involved in rooting your phone before attempting to make changes to your device.\\nRooting your Android isn't as dangerous as it may sound, but it will void your warranty and may compromise the security of your phone.\\n1-2. Download ES File Explorer.\\nSkip this step if you already have ES File Explorer. To download ES File Explorer, open the {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/1\\\\/1e\\\\/Androidgoogleplay.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/1\\\\/1e\\\\/Androidgoogleplay.png\\\\/26px-Androidgoogleplay.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":531,\\\"bigWidth\\\":26,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} , then do the following:\\nTap the search bar.\\nType in es file explorer\\nTap in the resulting drop-down menu.\\nTap \\nTap when prompted.\\nSelect your Android's internal storage if prompted. Do not install ES File Explorer on your SD card.\\n1-3. Open ES File Explorer.\\nTap in the Google Play Store, or tap the ES File Explorer app icon.\\nIf this is your first time opening ES File Explorer, you may have to swipe through several pages before the main page opens.\\n1-4. Tap ☰.\\nIt's in the top-left corner of the screen. The ES File Explorer menu will open.\\n1-5. Scroll down to the \\\"Root Explorer\\\" section.\\nThis option is near the bottom of the menu. You should see a white switch to the right of it.\\n1-6. Tap the white \\\"Root Explorer\\\" switch .\\nIt will turn blue {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/2\\\\/28\\\\/Android7switchon.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/28\\\\/Android7switchon.png\\\\/35px-Android7switchon.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":394,\\\"bigWidth\\\":35,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}. As long as your Android is rooted and ES File Explorer is installed on your Android's internal storage, this will enable root access for ES File Explorer.\\n1-7. Wait for root folders to appear.\\nAfter a second or two, ES File Explorer will refresh; when it finishes, you should see root files and folders displays.\\n1-8. Fix the \\\"test failed\\\" error if necessary.\\nIf for some reason ES File Explorer ended up on your Android's SD card, you may see an error that says \\\"Sorry, test failed. This feature cannot run on your device.\\\" appear at the bottom of the screen. You can fix this error by moving ES File Explorer onto your Android's internal storage:\\nOpen ES File Explorer's \\\"App Info\\\" page in Settings.\\nTap \\nTap under the SD card's heading.\\nTap \\nWait for ES File Explorer to finish moving.\\n1-9. Explore your Android's system files.\\nYou can browse through your Android's files and folders like usual, but you should now see system files and folders included in ES File Explorer.\\nAny folders that are a lighter color than your Android's standard folders are root folders.\\nDo not change any system files unless you're absolutely positive about what the outcome will be. Doing so is a guaranteed way to brick your Android phone.\\nTips\\nIt's helpful to update your Android's operating system to the latest version available before accessing its system files, since the files may change depending on the operating system.\\nWarnings\\nWhen you delete files and applications, make sure that you don't delete anything that you aren't 100% sure is safe to delete. You can permanently damage your Android phone if you delete any system files that are necessary to operate the phone.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to view the system files, also known as \\\"root\\\" files, on your Android phone or tablet. In order to do this your Android phone must be rooted and you'll need to download the ES File Explorer app from the Google Play Store.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Root your Android\", \"描述\": \"If you want to be able to access your Android's system files you'll need to root your Android phone first. The process of rooting an Android differs for each manufacturer and model, while some phones cannot be rooted at all. Research what's involved in rooting your phone before attempting to make changes to your device.\\nRooting your Android isn't as dangerous as it may sound, but it will void your warranty and may compromise the security of your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Download ES File Explorer.\", \"描述\": \"Skip this step if you already have ES File Explorer. To download ES File Explorer, open the {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/1\\\\/1e\\\\/Androidgoogleplay.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/1\\\\/1e\\\\/Androidgoogleplay.png\\\\/26px-Androidgoogleplay.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":531,\\\"bigWidth\\\":26,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} , then do the following:\\nTap the search bar.\\nType in es file explorer\\nTap in the resulting drop-down menu.\\nTap \\nTap when prompted.\\nSelect your Android's internal storage if prompted. Do not install ES File Explorer on your SD card.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open ES File Explorer.\", \"描述\": \"Tap in the Google Play Store, or tap the ES File Explorer app icon.\\nIf this is your first time opening ES File Explorer, you may have to swipe through several pages before the main page opens.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the top-left corner of the screen. The ES File Explorer menu will open.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Scroll down to the \\\"Root Explorer\\\" section.\", \"描述\": \"This option is near the bottom of the menu. You should see a white switch to the right of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap the white \\\"Root Explorer\\\" switch .\", \"描述\": \"It will turn blue {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/2\\\\/28\\\\/Android7switchon.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/2\\\\/28\\\\/Android7switchon.png\\\\/35px-Android7switchon.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":394,\\\"bigWidth\\\":35,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}. As long as your Android is rooted and ES File Explorer is installed on your Android's internal storage, this will enable root access for ES File Explorer.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Wait for root folders to appear.\", \"描述\": \"After a second or two, ES File Explorer will refresh; when it finishes, you should see root files and folders displays.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Fix the \\\"test failed\\\" error if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If for some reason ES File Explorer ended up on your Android's SD card, you may see an error that says \\\"Sorry, test failed. This feature cannot run on your device.\\\" appear at the bottom of the screen. You can fix this error by moving ES File Explorer onto your Android's internal storage:\\nOpen ES File Explorer's \\\"App Info\\\" page in Settings.\\nTap \\nTap under the SD card's heading.\\nTap \\nWait for ES File Explorer to finish moving.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Explore your Android's system files.\", \"描述\": \"You can browse through your Android's files and folders like usual, but you should now see system files and folders included in ES File Explorer.\\nAny folders that are a lighter color than your Android's standard folders are root folders.\\nDo not change any system files unless you're absolutely positive about what the outcome will be. Doing so is a guaranteed way to brick your Android phone.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It's helpful to update your Android's operating system to the latest version available before accessing its system files, since the files may change depending on the operating system.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"When you delete files and applications, make sure that you don't delete anything that you aren't 100% sure is safe to delete. You can permanently damage your Android phone if you delete any system files that are necessary to operate the phone.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
162 | How to Access Another Computer from Your Computer | 1. Chrome Remote Desktop
1-1. Install Chrome Remote Desktop on both computers.
This is a free tool from Google that lets you remotely control one computer with another. The tool requires using Google Chrome as your web browser, so if you don't have Chrome installed, you'll need to get it from https://www.google.com/chrome. Complete the following steps on both computers:
Open Google Chrome.
Go to https://remotedesktop.google.com/access
Click the blue-and-white arrow icon. This opens a new window to the Chrome Remote Desktop page on the Chrome web store.
Click on the Chrome web store, and then to confirm.
Close the Chrome web store window so the original page is once again visible.
Click the blue-and-white button, and then give all requested permissions to continue.
Enter a name for your computer and click .
Enter and confirm a 6-digit PIN. Once confirmed, Remote Desktop will start.
1-2. Generate a support code on the computer you want to access.
Now that Chrome Remote Desktop is installed on both computers, you'll need to generate a code that the other computer can use to access it. The code will only be valid for 5 minutes from creation, so you'll want to do this right before you're ready to make the connection. Here's how to generate the code on the computer receiving the connection:
Click the tab near the top of the page.
Click the button.
1-3. Go to https://remotedesktop.google.com/support on the computer that will make the connection.
Remember, you'll need to do this using the Google Chrome web browser.
1-4. Type the support code into the "Give Support" blank and click Connect.
It's the second blank on the page. An invitation will be sent to the computer that you're trying to access.
1-5. Click Share on the computer receiving the connection.
In a few moments, the remote computer's desktop will appear in Chrome on the connecting computer.
1-6. Click Stop Sharing on the sharing computer to end the connection at any time.
2. TeamViewer
2-1. Go to https://www.teamviewer.com/en/download in a web browser.
You can use TeamViewer to remotely control another PC or Mac from your own. TeamViewer is free for private/non-commercial use.
If TeamViewer incorrectly determines your operating system, click your computer's OS in the row of options in the middle of the page.
2-2. Scroll down and click Download TeamViewer.
It's a green button near the top of the page. Doing so prompts the TeamViewer setup file to begin downloading to your computer.
Depending on your browser's settings, you may have to save the file or indicate a download location before the file will actually download.
2-3. Double-click the TeamViewer file.
On Windows, this is a setup file called "TeamViewer_Setup", while Mac users will double-click the "TeamViewer.dmg" file.
2-4. Install TeamViewer.
To do so:
- Check the "Installation to access this computer remotely" box, check the "Personal / Non-commercial use" box, and click .
- Double-click the installer package, click , open the , click , click , click next to the "TeamViewer" message, and click when prompted. Follow the on-screen prompts.
2-5. View your computer's ID.
On the left side of the TeamViewer window, you'll see a "Your ID" section beneath the "Allow Remote Control" heading. You'll need this ID to access the host computer.
2-6. Create a custom password.
To do so:
Hover over the current password.
Click the circular arrow left of the password.
Click in the drop-down menu.
Enter your preferred password into the "Password" and "Confirm password" fields.
Click .
2-7. Download, install, and open TeamViewer on your second computer.
This should be the computer that you'll use to access the host computer.
You can also download TeamViewer on your iPhone or Android.
2-8. Enter the first computer's ID into the "Partner ID" field.
This field is on the right side of the TeamViewer window, just below the "Control Remote Computer" heading.
2-9. Make sure "Remote Control" is checked.
If not, click the circle to the left of this option.
2-10. Click Connect to partner.
It's near the bottom of the TeamViewer window.
2-11. Enter the password.
This is the password you set in the "Allow Remote Control" section of TeamViewer on the host computer.
2-12. Click Log On.
It's at the bottom of the TeamViewer Authentication window.
2-13. View your connected computer's screen.
After a brief moment, you'll see the first computer's screen appear in the TeamViewer window on the second computer's screen.
Once you see the host computer's screen, you can interact with it as though it were your own computer.
To disconnect, you'll click the at the top of the TeamViewer window.
3. Windows Remote Desktop
3-1. Open Start on the host PC.
Click the Windows logo in the bottom-left corner of the screen, or press the Windows key.
Remote Desktop can only be used to connect PCs running Windows 10 Pro edition. If the remote computer is using a different version of Windows 10, such as Windows 10 Home edition, you'll need to use a different method.
3-2. Click Settings .
It's on the lower-left side of the Start menu.
3-3. Click System.
This computer-shaped icon is near the top of the Settings page.
3-4. Scroll down and click the About tab.
It's at the bottom of the column of options on the left side of the window.
You'll have to scroll with your cursor hovering over this column.
3-5. Note your computer's name.
It's at the top of the page, right next to the "PC name" heading. You'll need this to connect the second computer to this one.
3-6. Click System info.
It's beneath the "Related settings" heading in the top-right corner of the page.
This option may also be at the bottom of the page if you haven't updated to the Windows 10 Creator version.
3-7. Click Advanced system settings.
It's in the upper-left side of the System window.
3-8. Click the Remote tab.
This option is in the top-right corner of the System Properties window.
3-9. Check the "Allow Remote Assistance connections to this computer" box.
It's below the "Remote Assistance" heading in the middle of the page.
If this box is checked, you don't have to change anything.
3-10. Click OK, then exit the System window.
This will save your settings.
3-11. Scroll up and click Power & sleep.
This tab is near the top of the column of options on the left side of the Settings window.
3-12. Click both drop-down menus and select Never for each of them.
This will prevent the host computer from going to sleep or shutting down when you are remotely connected to it.
3-13. Open Remote Desktop on the second computer.
To do so:
- Open {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/0\/07\/Windowsstart.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/07\/Windowsstart.png\/30px-Windowsstart.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":460,"bigWidth":30,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of a Windows icon.\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Public_domain\">Public Domain<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"}, type in remote desktop connection, and click the app.
- Download from the App Store, open , and click the orange app.
3-14. Enter the host computer's name.
Do so in the "Computer:" field near the top of the Remote Desktop window.
On Mac, first click in the top-left corner of the app window, then enter the computer's name in the "PC Name" field.
You can also type the host computer's IP address into the computer's name field.
3-15. Click Connect.
It's at the bottom of the Remote Desktop window. When the connection is made, the host computer’s display will appear in a window on your computer.
On Mac, double-click the connection name you just created in the drop-down list.
Tips
Consider disabling "Sleep" or "Hibernate" time limits on the host computer, since you can't connect to a computer that is sleeping or hibernating.
If you don't have a password on your Windows computer while attempting to use Remote Desktop, you'll need to set one up before you can use Remote Desktop.
Warnings
The computer that you are trying to access remotely must be powered on, otherwise other computers will not be able to access it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Chrome Remote Desktop\\n1-1. Install Chrome Remote Desktop on both computers.\\nThis is a free tool from Google that lets you remotely control one computer with another. The tool requires using Google Chrome as your web browser, so if you don't have Chrome installed, you'll need to get it from https://www.google.com/chrome. Complete the following steps on both computers:\\nOpen Google Chrome.\\nGo to https://remotedesktop.google.com/access\\nClick the blue-and-white arrow icon. This opens a new window to the Chrome Remote Desktop page on the Chrome web store.\\nClick on the Chrome web store, and then to confirm.\\nClose the Chrome web store window so the original page is once again visible.\\nClick the blue-and-white button, and then give all requested permissions to continue.\\nEnter a name for your computer and click .\\nEnter and confirm a 6-digit PIN. Once confirmed, Remote Desktop will start.\\n1-2. Generate a support code on the computer you want to access.\\nNow that Chrome Remote Desktop is installed on both computers, you'll need to generate a code that the other computer can use to access it. The code will only be valid for 5 minutes from creation, so you'll want to do this right before you're ready to make the connection. Here's how to generate the code on the computer receiving the connection:\\nClick the tab near the top of the page.\\nClick the button.\\n1-3. Go to https://remotedesktop.google.com/support on the computer that will make the connection.\\nRemember, you'll need to do this using the Google Chrome web browser.\\n1-4. Type the support code into the \\\"Give Support\\\" blank and click Connect.\\nIt's the second blank on the page. An invitation will be sent to the computer that you're trying to access.\\n1-5. Click Share on the computer receiving the connection.\\nIn a few moments, the remote computer's desktop will appear in Chrome on the connecting computer.\\n1-6. Click Stop Sharing on the sharing computer to end the connection at any time.\\n\\n2. TeamViewer\\n2-1. Go to https://www.teamviewer.com/en/download in a web browser.\\nYou can use TeamViewer to remotely control another PC or Mac from your own. TeamViewer is free for private/non-commercial use.\\nIf TeamViewer incorrectly determines your operating system, click your computer's OS in the row of options in the middle of the page.\\n2-2. Scroll down and click Download TeamViewer.\\nIt's a green button near the top of the page. Doing so prompts the TeamViewer setup file to begin downloading to your computer.\\nDepending on your browser's settings, you may have to save the file or indicate a download location before the file will actually download.\\n2-3. Double-click the TeamViewer file.\\nOn Windows, this is a setup file called \\\"TeamViewer_Setup\\\", while Mac users will double-click the \\\"TeamViewer.dmg\\\" file.\\n2-4. Install TeamViewer.\\nTo do so:\\n\\n - Check the \\\"Installation to access this computer remotely\\\" box, check the \\\"Personal / Non-commercial use\\\" box, and click .\\n - Double-click the installer package, click , open the , click , click , click next to the \\\"TeamViewer\\\" message, and click when prompted. Follow the on-screen prompts.\\n2-5. View your computer's ID.\\nOn the left side of the TeamViewer window, you'll see a \\\"Your ID\\\" section beneath the \\\"Allow Remote Control\\\" heading. You'll need this ID to access the host computer.\\n2-6. Create a custom password.\\nTo do so:\\nHover over the current password.\\nClick the circular arrow left of the password.\\nClick in the drop-down menu.\\nEnter your preferred password into the \\\"Password\\\" and \\\"Confirm password\\\" fields.\\nClick .\\n2-7. Download, install, and open TeamViewer on your second computer.\\nThis should be the computer that you'll use to access the host computer.\\nYou can also download TeamViewer on your iPhone or Android.\\n2-8. Enter the first computer's ID into the \\\"Partner ID\\\" field.\\nThis field is on the right side of the TeamViewer window, just below the \\\"Control Remote Computer\\\" heading.\\n2-9. Make sure \\\"Remote Control\\\" is checked.\\nIf not, click the circle to the left of this option.\\n2-10. Click Connect to partner.\\nIt's near the bottom of the TeamViewer window.\\n2-11. Enter the password.\\nThis is the password you set in the \\\"Allow Remote Control\\\" section of TeamViewer on the host computer.\\n2-12. Click Log On.\\nIt's at the bottom of the TeamViewer Authentication window.\\n2-13. View your connected computer's screen.\\nAfter a brief moment, you'll see the first computer's screen appear in the TeamViewer window on the second computer's screen.\\nOnce you see the host computer's screen, you can interact with it as though it were your own computer.\\nTo disconnect, you'll click the at the top of the TeamViewer window.\\n3. Windows Remote Desktop\\n3-1. Open Start on the host PC.\\nClick the Windows logo in the bottom-left corner of the screen, or press the Windows key.\\nRemote Desktop can only be used to connect PCs running Windows 10 Pro edition. If the remote computer is using a different version of Windows 10, such as Windows 10 Home edition, you'll need to use a different method.\\n3-2. Click Settings .\\nIt's on the lower-left side of the Start menu.\\n3-3. Click System.\\nThis computer-shaped icon is near the top of the Settings page.\\n3-4. Scroll down and click the About tab.\\nIt's at the bottom of the column of options on the left side of the window.\\nYou'll have to scroll with your cursor hovering over this column.\\n3-5. Note your computer's name.\\nIt's at the top of the page, right next to the \\\"PC name\\\" heading. You'll need this to connect the second computer to this one.\\n3-6. Click System info.\\nIt's beneath the \\\"Related settings\\\" heading in the top-right corner of the page.\\nThis option may also be at the bottom of the page if you haven't updated to the Windows 10 Creator version.\\n3-7. Click Advanced system settings.\\nIt's in the upper-left side of the System window.\\n3-8. Click the Remote tab.\\nThis option is in the top-right corner of the System Properties window.\\n3-9. Check the \\\"Allow Remote Assistance connections to this computer\\\" box.\\nIt's below the \\\"Remote Assistance\\\" heading in the middle of the page.\\nIf this box is checked, you don't have to change anything.\\n3-10. Click OK, then exit the System window.\\nThis will save your settings.\\n3-11. Scroll up and click Power & sleep.\\nThis tab is near the top of the column of options on the left side of the Settings window.\\n3-12. Click both drop-down menus and select Never for each of them.\\nThis will prevent the host computer from going to sleep or shutting down when you are remotely connected to it.\\n3-13. Open Remote Desktop on the second computer.\\nTo do so:\\n\\n - Open {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/0\\\\/07\\\\/Windowsstart.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/0\\\\/07\\\\/Windowsstart.png\\\\/30px-Windowsstart.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of a Windows icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Public_domain\\\\\\\">Public Domain<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}, type in remote desktop connection, and click the app.\\n - Download from the App Store, open , and click the orange app.\\n3-14. Enter the host computer's name.\\nDo so in the \\\"Computer:\\\" field near the top of the Remote Desktop window.\\nOn Mac, first click in the top-left corner of the app window, then enter the computer's name in the \\\"PC Name\\\" field.\\nYou can also type the host computer's IP address into the computer's name field.\\n3-15. Click Connect.\\nIt's at the bottom of the Remote Desktop window. When the connection is made, the host computer’s display will appear in a window on your computer.\\nOn Mac, double-click the connection name you just created in the drop-down list.\\nTips\\nConsider disabling \\\"Sleep\\\" or \\\"Hibernate\\\" time limits on the host computer, since you can't connect to a computer that is sleeping or hibernating.\\nIf you don't have a password on your Windows computer while attempting to use Remote Desktop, you'll need to set one up before you can use Remote Desktop.\\nWarnings\\nThe computer that you are trying to access remotely must be powered on, otherwise other computers will not be able to access it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to access and control a computer remotely from another computer by installing remote desktop software on both computers. Once installed on both computers, you can set up one computer to be the \\\"host,\\\" allowing it to be controlled from anywhere, so long as both computers are connected to the internet, are powered on, and have the proper software installed. Programs like Team Viewer and Chrome Remote Desktop can be installed on both PCs and Macs, whereas Windows Remote Desktop can be set up on a Windows host computer (running Windows 10 Professional) and accessed by other Windows or Mac computers.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Chrome Remote Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Install Chrome Remote Desktop on both computers.\", \"描述\": \"This is a free tool from Google that lets you remotely control one computer with another. The tool requires using Google Chrome as your web browser, so if you don't have Chrome installed, you'll need to get it from https://www.google.com/chrome. Complete the following steps on both computers:\\nOpen Google Chrome.\\nGo to https://remotedesktop.google.com/access\\nClick the blue-and-white arrow icon. This opens a new window to the Chrome Remote Desktop page on the Chrome web store.\\nClick on the Chrome web store, and then to confirm.\\nClose the Chrome web store window so the original page is once again visible.\\nClick the blue-and-white button, and then give all requested permissions to continue.\\nEnter a name for your computer and click .\\nEnter and confirm a 6-digit PIN. Once confirmed, Remote Desktop will start.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Generate a support code on the computer you want to access.\", \"描述\": \"Now that Chrome Remote Desktop is installed on both computers, you'll need to generate a code that the other computer can use to access it. The code will only be valid for 5 minutes from creation, so you'll want to do this right before you're ready to make the connection. Here's how to generate the code on the computer receiving the connection:\\nClick the tab near the top of the page.\\nClick the button.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go to https://remotedesktop.google.com/support on the computer that will make the connection.\", \"描述\": \"Remember, you'll need to do this using the Google Chrome web browser.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Type the support code into the \\\"Give Support\\\" blank and click Connect.\", \"描述\": \"It's the second blank on the page. An invitation will be sent to the computer that you're trying to access.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Share on the computer receiving the connection.\", \"描述\": \"In a few moments, the remote computer's desktop will appear in Chrome on the connecting computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click Stop Sharing on the sharing computer to end the connection at any time.\", \"描述\": \"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"TeamViewer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.teamviewer.com/en/download in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use TeamViewer to remotely control another PC or Mac from your own. TeamViewer is free for private/non-commercial use.\\nIf TeamViewer incorrectly determines your operating system, click your computer's OS in the row of options in the middle of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Scroll down and click Download TeamViewer.\", \"描述\": \"It's a green button near the top of the page. Doing so prompts the TeamViewer setup file to begin downloading to your computer.\\nDepending on your browser's settings, you may have to save the file or indicate a download location before the file will actually download.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Double-click the TeamViewer file.\", \"描述\": \"On Windows, this is a setup file called \\\"TeamViewer_Setup\\\", while Mac users will double-click the \\\"TeamViewer.dmg\\\" file.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Install TeamViewer.\", \"描述\": \"To do so:\\n\\n - Check the \\\"Installation to access this computer remotely\\\" box, check the \\\"Personal / Non-commercial use\\\" box, and click .\\n - Double-click the installer package, click , open the , click , click , click next to the \\\"TeamViewer\\\" message, and click when prompted. Follow the on-screen prompts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"View your computer's ID.\", \"描述\": \"On the left side of the TeamViewer window, you'll see a \\\"Your ID\\\" section beneath the \\\"Allow Remote Control\\\" heading. You'll need this ID to access the host computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create a custom password.\", \"描述\": \"To do so:\\nHover over the current password.\\nClick the circular arrow left of the password.\\nClick in the drop-down menu.\\nEnter your preferred password into the \\\"Password\\\" and \\\"Confirm password\\\" fields.\\nClick .\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Download, install, and open TeamViewer on your second computer.\", \"描述\": \"This should be the computer that you'll use to access the host computer.\\nYou can also download TeamViewer on your iPhone or Android.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enter the first computer's ID into the \\\"Partner ID\\\" field.\", \"描述\": \"This field is on the right side of the TeamViewer window, just below the \\\"Control Remote Computer\\\" heading.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Make sure \\\"Remote Control\\\" is checked.\", \"描述\": \"If not, click the circle to the left of this option.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Click Connect to partner.\", \"描述\": \"It's near the bottom of the TeamViewer window.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Enter the password.\", \"描述\": \"This is the password you set in the \\\"Allow Remote Control\\\" section of TeamViewer on the host computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Click Log On.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the TeamViewer Authentication window.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"View your connected computer's screen.\", \"描述\": \"After a brief moment, you'll see the first computer's screen appear in the TeamViewer window on the second computer's screen.\\nOnce you see the host computer's screen, you can interact with it as though it were your own computer.\\nTo disconnect, you'll click the at the top of the TeamViewer window.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Windows Remote Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Start on the host PC.\", \"描述\": \"Click the Windows logo in the bottom-left corner of the screen, or press the Windows key.\\nRemote Desktop can only be used to connect PCs running Windows 10 Pro edition. If the remote computer is using a different version of Windows 10, such as Windows 10 Home edition, you'll need to use a different method.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click Settings .\", \"描述\": \"It's on the lower-left side of the Start menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click System.\", \"描述\": \"This computer-shaped icon is near the top of the Settings page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Scroll down and click the About tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the column of options on the left side of the window.\\nYou'll have to scroll with your cursor hovering over this column.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Note your computer's name.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the top of the page, right next to the \\\"PC name\\\" heading. You'll need this to connect the second computer to this one.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click System info.\", \"描述\": \"It's beneath the \\\"Related settings\\\" heading in the top-right corner of the page.\\nThis option may also be at the bottom of the page if you haven't updated to the Windows 10 Creator version.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click Advanced system settings.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the upper-left side of the System window.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click the Remote tab.\", \"描述\": \"This option is in the top-right corner of the System Properties window.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Check the \\\"Allow Remote Assistance connections to this computer\\\" box.\", \"描述\": \"It's below the \\\"Remote Assistance\\\" heading in the middle of the page.\\nIf this box is checked, you don't have to change anything.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Click OK, then exit the System window.\", \"描述\": \"This will save your settings.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Scroll up and click Power & sleep.\", \"描述\": \"This tab is near the top of the column of options on the left side of the Settings window.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Click both drop-down menus and select Never for each of them.\", \"描述\": \"This will prevent the host computer from going to sleep or shutting down when you are remotely connected to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Open Remote Desktop on the second computer.\", \"描述\": \"To do so:\\n\\n - Open {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/0\\\\/07\\\\/Windowsstart.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/0\\\\/07\\\\/Windowsstart.png\\\\/30px-Windowsstart.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of a Windows icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Public_domain\\\\\\\">Public Domain<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}, type in remote desktop connection, and click the app.\\n - Download from the App Store, open , and click the orange app.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Enter the host computer's name.\", \"描述\": \"Do so in the \\\"Computer:\\\" field near the top of the Remote Desktop window.\\nOn Mac, first click in the top-left corner of the app window, then enter the computer's name in the \\\"PC Name\\\" field.\\nYou can also type the host computer's IP address into the computer's name field.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Click Connect.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the Remote Desktop window. When the connection is made, the host computer’s display will appear in a window on your computer.\\nOn Mac, double-click the connection name you just created in the drop-down list.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Consider disabling \\\"Sleep\\\" or \\\"Hibernate\\\" time limits on the host computer, since you can't connect to a computer that is sleeping or hibernating.\\n\", \"If you don't have a password on your Windows computer while attempting to use Remote Desktop, you'll need to set one up before you can use Remote Desktop.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"The computer that you are trying to access remotely must be powered on, otherwise other computers will not be able to access it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
163 | How to Access Archive Photos on Google Photos | 1. Steps
1-1. Open Google Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored spin wheel and you can find it on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.
Most Androids come with Google Photos installed, but if you don't have the mobile app, you can download it for free from the Google Play Store or App Store.
Login if prompted.
1-2. Tap ☰.
You'll see this in the top left corner of the screen.
1-3. Tap Archive.
This is usually near the top of the first section in the menu that slides out.
1-4. Tap a photo to view it.
If you want to unarchive the photo, tap (Android) or (iOS) .
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Open Google Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored spin wheel and you can find it on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nMost Androids come with Google Photos installed, but if you don't have the mobile app, you can download it for free from the Google Play Store or App Store.\\nLogin if prompted.\\n1-2. Tap ☰.\\nYou'll see this in the top left corner of the screen.\\n1-3. Tap Archive.\\nThis is usually near the top of the first section in the menu that slides out.\\n1-4. Tap a photo to view it.\\nIf you want to unarchive the photo, tap (Android) or (iOS) .\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can archive photos on different platforms to either free up space or hide them from your audience. This wikiHow will show you how to access archived photos using Google Photos.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Google Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored spin wheel and you can find it on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nMost Androids come with Google Photos installed, but if you don't have the mobile app, you can download it for free from the Google Play Store or App Store.\\nLogin if prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the top left corner of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Archive.\", \"描述\": \"This is usually near the top of the first section in the menu that slides out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap a photo to view it.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to unarchive the photo, tap (Android) or (iOS) .\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
164 | How to Access Archive Photos on Instagram | 1. Steps
1-1. Open Instagram.
The app icon is a camera inside a square that’s a gradient from yellow to purple. You can find this on your home screen, in the app drawer, or by searching.
You cannot see your archived posts or photos from the desktop website, so you'll need to use the mobile application.
Log in if prompted.
1-2. Tap your profile image or the silhouette .
This is in the lower right of your screen. Your profile page will open.
1-3. Tap the archive icon that looks like a clock face with an arrow wrapping around it pointing counter-clockwise.
You’ll find this in the upper right corner next to ☰. A list of your archived Stories will appear.
1-4. Tap the Stories Archive menu.
A menu will expand. You can also look through all your archived Stories and save them to your phone if you want to.
1-5. Tap Posts Archive.
A list of your archived posts will appear.
1-6. Tap an image to view it.
The post and all its original comments will load.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Open Instagram.\\nThe app icon is a camera inside a square that’s a gradient from yellow to purple. You can find this on your home screen, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nYou cannot see your archived posts or photos from the desktop website, so you'll need to use the mobile application.\\nLog in if prompted.\\n1-2. Tap your profile image or the silhouette .\\nThis is in the lower right of your screen. Your profile page will open.\\n1-3. Tap the archive icon that looks like a clock face with an arrow wrapping around it pointing counter-clockwise.\\nYou’ll find this in the upper right corner next to ☰. A list of your archived Stories will appear.\\n1-4. Tap the Stories Archive menu.\\nA menu will expand. You can also look through all your archived Stories and save them to your phone if you want to.\\n1-5. Tap Posts Archive.\\nA list of your archived posts will appear.\\n1-6. Tap an image to view it.\\nThe post and all its original comments will load.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can archive photos on different platforms to either free up space or hide them from your audience. This wikiHow will show you how to access archived photos using Instagram.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Instagram.\", \"描述\": \"The app icon is a camera inside a square that’s a gradient from yellow to purple. You can find this on your home screen, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nYou cannot see your archived posts or photos from the desktop website, so you'll need to use the mobile application.\\nLog in if prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap your profile image or the silhouette .\", \"描述\": \"This is in the lower right of your screen. Your profile page will open.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap the archive icon that looks like a clock face with an arrow wrapping around it pointing counter-clockwise.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll find this in the upper right corner next to ☰. A list of your archived Stories will appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the Stories Archive menu.\", \"描述\": \"A menu will expand. You can also look through all your archived Stories and save them to your phone if you want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap Posts Archive.\", \"描述\": \"A list of your archived posts will appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap an image to view it.\", \"描述\": \"The post and all its original comments will load.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
165 | How to Access Archive Photos on iOS Devices | 1. Steps
1-1. Open Photos.
This app icon looks like a multicolored flower. You can find this app on your home screen or by searching.
You can hide photos in Apple's Photos so they can't be seen anymore, then unhide them later. Only you can see these photos.
1-2. Tap Albums.
You'll see this in the bottom right corner of your screen.
1-3. Tap Hidden.
You'll see this listed under "Other Albums."
1-4. Tap a photo to view it.
If you want to unarchive the photo, tap the share icon and .
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Open Photos.\\nThis app icon looks like a multicolored flower. You can find this app on your home screen or by searching.\\nYou can hide photos in Apple's Photos so they can't be seen anymore, then unhide them later. Only you can see these photos.\\n1-2. Tap Albums.\\nYou'll see this in the bottom right corner of your screen.\\n1-3. Tap Hidden.\\nYou'll see this listed under \\\"Other Albums.\\\"\\n1-4. Tap a photo to view it.\\nIf you want to unarchive the photo, tap the share icon and .\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can archive photos on different platforms to either free up space or hide them from your audience. This wikiHow will show you how to access archived photos using the iPhone or iPad Photos app on your phone or tablet.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Photos.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon looks like a multicolored flower. You can find this app on your home screen or by searching.\\nYou can hide photos in Apple's Photos so they can't be seen anymore, then unhide them later. Only you can see these photos.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Albums.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the bottom right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Hidden.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this listed under \\\"Other Albums.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap a photo to view it.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to unarchive the photo, tap the share icon and .\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
166 | How to Access Archived Emails in Outlook | 1. Accessing the Archive Folder at the Outlook website.
1-1. Go to https://www.outlook.com in a web browser.
You can use any web browser on PC or Mac.
1-2. Sign in to your Outlook account.
Use the email address and password associated with your Outlook.com account to sign in.
If you don't have an Outlook account, you can create one for free by clicking "Create One" below the sign in box.
1-3. Click Archive.
It's in the left sidebar in your Outlook mailbox.
To Archive an email in your inbox, right-click an email in your inbox, and select "Archive" in the popup menu.
2. Accessing the Archive Folder in Windows Mail
2-1. Open Mail.
It's the app that has an icon that resembles an envelope on the right side of the Windows task bar.
2-2. Click the All Folders icon.
It's the icon that resembles a folder in the left sidebar.
2-3. Click Archive.
This will access your archived emails.
To Archive an email in the Windows Mail app, right-click an email and click "Archive".
3. Accessing the Archive Folder in The Outlook App
3-1. Open Outlook.
It's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an "O" over an envelope.
If you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.
3-2. Click View.
It's in the menu bar at the top of the screen.
On Mac, skip this step.
3-3. Click the Folder Pane icon.
It's the icon that has an image that resembles blue text in a sidebar. This will display a drop-down menu.
On Mac, click the envelope icon in the bottom-left corner instead.
3-4. Click Normal.
This will display the Folder Pane in a sidebar to the left.
On Mac, skip this step.
3-5. Click next to your email account.
Click the small triangle to the left of your email account to expand all the email folders and categories associated with that account.
3-6. Click Archive.
Click the Archive folder in the column on the left to display all the archived emails in the pane on the right.
You can search archived emails using the search bar at the top of the email list pane. Use the drop-down menu next to the search bar to select "Archive Folder".
4. Importing an Archived Outlook Email File in The Outlook App
4-1. Open Outlook.
It's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an "O" over an envelope.
If you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.
4-2. Click File.
It's in the menu bar at the top, in the upper-left corner. This will prompt a drop-down menu.
4-3. Click Open & Export.
It's the second option in the in the File menu.
On Mac, click from the drop-down menu instead.
4-4. Click Open Outlook Data File.
This will open a file browser dialogue box.
On Mac, select the type of archive file you want to import, then click .
4-5. Select the archive Outlook data file.
Archived files are saved as an Outlook data file, which has a ".pst" prefix. Your Outlook Data Files can be found in C:\Users\username\Documents\Outlook Files by default, only replace username with the name of your Windows user account.
4-6. Click OK.
It's in the lower-right corner of the Open Outlook Data File browser dialogue box.
On Mac, click instead.
4-7. Click Archive.
You can now browse your archived folders under "Archive" in the navigation pane.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing the Archive Folder at the Outlook website.\\n1-1. Go to https://www.outlook.com in a web browser.\\nYou can use any web browser on PC or Mac.\\n1-2. Sign in to your Outlook account.\\nUse the email address and password associated with your Outlook.com account to sign in.\\nIf you don't have an Outlook account, you can create one for free by clicking \\\"Create One\\\" below the sign in box.\\n1-3. Click Archive.\\nIt's in the left sidebar in your Outlook mailbox.\\nTo Archive an email in your inbox, right-click an email in your inbox, and select \\\"Archive\\\" in the popup menu.\\n2. Accessing the Archive Folder in Windows Mail\\n2-1. Open Mail.\\nIt's the app that has an icon that resembles an envelope on the right side of the Windows task bar.\\n2-2. Click the All Folders icon.\\nIt's the icon that resembles a folder in the left sidebar.\\n2-3. Click Archive.\\nThis will access your archived emails.\\nTo Archive an email in the Windows Mail app, right-click an email and click \\\"Archive\\\".\\n3. Accessing the Archive Folder in The Outlook App\\n3-1. Open Outlook.\\nIt's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an \\\"O\\\" over an envelope.\\nIf you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.\\n3-2. Click View.\\nIt's in the menu bar at the top of the screen.\\nOn Mac, skip this step.\\n3-3. Click the Folder Pane icon.\\nIt's the icon that has an image that resembles blue text in a sidebar. This will display a drop-down menu.\\nOn Mac, click the envelope icon in the bottom-left corner instead.\\n3-4. Click Normal.\\nThis will display the Folder Pane in a sidebar to the left.\\nOn Mac, skip this step.\\n3-5. Click next to your email account.\\nClick the small triangle to the left of your email account to expand all the email folders and categories associated with that account.\\n3-6. Click Archive.\\nClick the Archive folder in the column on the left to display all the archived emails in the pane on the right.\\nYou can search archived emails using the search bar at the top of the email list pane. Use the drop-down menu next to the search bar to select \\\"Archive Folder\\\".\\n4. Importing an Archived Outlook Email File in The Outlook App\\n4-1. Open Outlook.\\nIt's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an \\\"O\\\" over an envelope.\\nIf you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.\\n4-2. Click File.\\nIt's in the menu bar at the top, in the upper-left corner. This will prompt a drop-down menu.\\n4-3. Click Open & Export.\\nIt's the second option in the in the File menu.\\nOn Mac, click from the drop-down menu instead.\\n4-4. Click Open Outlook Data File.\\nThis will open a file browser dialogue box.\\nOn Mac, select the type of archive file you want to import, then click .\\n4-5. Select the archive Outlook data file.\\nArchived files are saved as an Outlook data file, which has a \\\".pst\\\" prefix. Your Outlook Data Files can be found in C:\\\\Users\\\\username\\\\Documents\\\\Outlook Files by default, only replace username with the name of your Windows user account.\\n4-6. Click OK.\\nIt's in the lower-right corner of the Open Outlook Data File browser dialogue box.\\nOn Mac, click instead.\\n4-7. Click Archive.\\nYou can now browse your archived folders under \\\"Archive\\\" in the navigation pane.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to access the Archive folder in Outlook. You can access the Archived folder in the sidebar on Outlook.com and the Windows Mail app. In the Outlook app, you will need to import the Outlook email file.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing the Archive Folder at the Outlook website.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.outlook.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser on PC or Mac.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Outlook account.\", \"描述\": \"Use the email address and password associated with your Outlook.com account to sign in.\\nIf you don't have an Outlook account, you can create one for free by clicking \\\"Create One\\\" below the sign in box.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Archive.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the left sidebar in your Outlook mailbox.\\nTo Archive an email in your inbox, right-click an email in your inbox, and select \\\"Archive\\\" in the popup menu.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accessing the Archive Folder in Windows Mail\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Mail.\", \"描述\": \"It's the app that has an icon that resembles an envelope on the right side of the Windows task bar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the All Folders icon.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon that resembles a folder in the left sidebar.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Archive.\", \"描述\": \"This will access your archived emails.\\nTo Archive an email in the Windows Mail app, right-click an email and click \\\"Archive\\\".\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessing the Archive Folder in The Outlook App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Outlook.\", \"描述\": \"It's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an \\\"O\\\" over an envelope.\\nIf you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click View.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the menu bar at the top of the screen.\\nOn Mac, skip this step.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the Folder Pane icon.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon that has an image that resembles blue text in a sidebar. This will display a drop-down menu.\\nOn Mac, click the envelope icon in the bottom-left corner instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Normal.\", \"描述\": \"This will display the Folder Pane in a sidebar to the left.\\nOn Mac, skip this step.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click next to your email account.\", \"描述\": \"Click the small triangle to the left of your email account to expand all the email folders and categories associated with that account.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click Archive.\", \"描述\": \"Click the Archive folder in the column on the left to display all the archived emails in the pane on the right.\\nYou can search archived emails using the search bar at the top of the email list pane. Use the drop-down menu next to the search bar to select \\\"Archive Folder\\\".\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Importing an Archived Outlook Email File in The Outlook App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Outlook.\", \"描述\": \"It's the app that has a blue icon with an image of a cover with an \\\"O\\\" over an envelope.\\nIf you don't have the Outlook app on your desktop, click the Windows Start icon, and type Outlook. This will display the Outlook app in the Start menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click File.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the menu bar at the top, in the upper-left corner. This will prompt a drop-down menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Open & Export.\", \"描述\": \"It's the second option in the in the File menu.\\nOn Mac, click from the drop-down menu instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click Open Outlook Data File.\", \"描述\": \"This will open a file browser dialogue box.\\nOn Mac, select the type of archive file you want to import, then click .\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select the archive Outlook data file.\", \"描述\": \"Archived files are saved as an Outlook data file, which has a \\\".pst\\\" prefix. Your Outlook Data Files can be found in C:\\\\Users\\\\username\\\\Documents\\\\Outlook Files by default, only replace username with the name of your Windows user account.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click OK.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the lower-right corner of the Open Outlook Data File browser dialogue box.\\nOn Mac, click instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click Archive.\", \"描述\": \"You can now browse your archived folders under \\\"Archive\\\" in the navigation pane.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
167 | How to Access Blocked Sites Without a Vpn | 1. Using Short Links
1-1. Go to a link shortening site like Bitly.
You can use any web browser to get shortened links and use them to visit blocked sites.
1-2. Paste your URL into the shortening service.
Once you enter the URL for the blocked site, you'll get a shortened URL.
1-3. Copy the shortened URL and paste it into your address bar.
Once the URL is shortened, you should be able to access the blocked site.
If that method doesn't work, try using the website's IP address.
2. Using an IP Address
2-1. Open Command Prompt or PowerShell.
Press and open the command line prompt.
2-2. Enter the following command:
tracert. That line of code will give you the URL for the blocked website you need to enter next.
2-3. Enter the blocked website's address and press ↵ Enter.
It'll look like this: tracert makeuseof.com and then you press .
2-4. Copy the IP address listed.
After you press , you should get a return that shows the IP address, which looks like 55.155.135.27.
2-5. Paste the copied address into your web browser's address bar.
Using the blocked website's URL should let you see the site differently than using the web address with letters.
Since most secure websites use HTTPS, you might get a warning that your connection is not secure.
3. Using a Proxy Site
3-1. Open the ProxFree site.
Go to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser. A proxy acts like a middle man that may unblock sites for you.
There are many websites that offer free proxy services like ProxFree; if this certain site is blocked by your network, you can use another one, like Whoer, which works similarly to ProxFree.
3-2. Click the search bar.
It's near the bottom of the page, to the right of the padlock icon.
3-3. Enter your website's address.
Type in the address of the website that you want to access.
You can select a different country to use by clicking the "Server Location" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.
3-4. Click PROXFREE.
It's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.
If you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.
3-5. Browse your site.
Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.
Tips
You can also try using a translator service, like Google Translator or Microsoft Translator. Just go to one of them, input the blocked site, and it'll translate the site for you in any language you'd like.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Short Links\\n1-1. Go to a link shortening site like Bitly.\\nYou can use any web browser to get shortened links and use them to visit blocked sites.\\n1-2. Paste your URL into the shortening service.\\nOnce you enter the URL for the blocked site, you'll get a shortened URL.\\n1-3. Copy the shortened URL and paste it into your address bar.\\nOnce the URL is shortened, you should be able to access the blocked site.\\nIf that method doesn't work, try using the website's IP address.\\n2. Using an IP Address\\n2-1. Open Command Prompt or PowerShell.\\nPress and open the command line prompt.\\n2-2. Enter the following command:\\ntracert. That line of code will give you the URL for the blocked website you need to enter next.\\n2-3. Enter the blocked website's address and press ↵ Enter.\\nIt'll look like this: tracert makeuseof.com and then you press .\\n2-4. Copy the IP address listed.\\nAfter you press , you should get a return that shows the IP address, which looks like 55.155.135.27.\\n2-5. Paste the copied address into your web browser's address bar.\\nUsing the blocked website's URL should let you see the site differently than using the web address with letters.\\nSince most secure websites use HTTPS, you might get a warning that your connection is not secure.\\n3. Using a Proxy Site\\n3-1. Open the ProxFree site.\\nGo to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser. A proxy acts like a middle man that may unblock sites for you.\\nThere are many websites that offer free proxy services like ProxFree; if this certain site is blocked by your network, you can use another one, like Whoer, which works similarly to ProxFree.\\n3-2. Click the search bar.\\nIt's near the bottom of the page, to the right of the padlock icon.\\n3-3. Enter your website's address.\\nType in the address of the website that you want to access.\\nYou can select a different country to use by clicking the \\\"Server Location\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.\\n3-4. Click PROXFREE.\\nIt's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.\\nIf you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.\\n3-5. Browse your site.\\nOnce the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\\nTips\\nYou can also try using a translator service, like Google Translator or Microsoft Translator. Just go to one of them, input the blocked site, and it'll translate the site for you in any language you'd like.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow will teach you how to access blocked sites without a VPN. You can use short links, like TinyURL or Bitly, to see these sites. Alternatively, you can use a restricted website's IP address instead of their URL. Finally, you can use a proxy website, like ProxFree; however, some proxy sites may be blocked by your network, so you may have to use another one.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Short Links\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to a link shortening site like Bitly.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser to get shortened links and use them to visit blocked sites.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Paste your URL into the shortening service.\", \"描述\": \"Once you enter the URL for the blocked site, you'll get a shortened URL.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Copy the shortened URL and paste it into your address bar.\", \"描述\": \"Once the URL is shortened, you should be able to access the blocked site.\\nIf that method doesn't work, try using the website's IP address.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using an IP Address\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Command Prompt or PowerShell.\", \"描述\": \"Press and open the command line prompt.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enter the following command:\", \"描述\": \"tracert. That line of code will give you the URL for the blocked website you need to enter next.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter the blocked website's address and press ↵ Enter.\", \"描述\": \"It'll look like this: tracert makeuseof.com and then you press .\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Copy the IP address listed.\", \"描述\": \"After you press , you should get a return that shows the IP address, which looks like 55.155.135.27.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Paste the copied address into your web browser's address bar.\", \"描述\": \"Using the blocked website's URL should let you see the site differently than using the web address with letters.\\nSince most secure websites use HTTPS, you might get a warning that your connection is not secure.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using a Proxy Site\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the ProxFree site.\", \"描述\": \"Go to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser. A proxy acts like a middle man that may unblock sites for you.\\nThere are many websites that offer free proxy services like ProxFree; if this certain site is blocked by your network, you can use another one, like Whoer, which works similarly to ProxFree.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the search bar.\", \"描述\": \"It's near the bottom of the page, to the right of the padlock icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter your website's address.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the address of the website that you want to access.\\nYou can select a different country to use by clicking the \\\"Server Location\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click PROXFREE.\", \"描述\": \"It's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.\\nIf you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Browse your site.\", \"描述\": \"Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can also try using a translator service, like Google Translator or Microsoft Translator. Just go to one of them, input the blocked site, and it'll translate the site for you in any language you'd like.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
168 | How to Access Blocked Sites in Chrome | 1. Accessing Blocked Sites in Chrome
1-1. Open Chrome and go to the blocked website.
This will only allow you to access a site that has not been blocked by your network; it has only been flagged by Chrome as unsafe.
When you try to go to a blocked site using Chrome, you'll see a page instead that warns you that the site you're trying to see is unsafe.
1-2. Click Advanced.
You'll see this towards the bottom left of the warning text.
1-3. Click Proceed to [website].
The full address of the website you're trying to access will be listed here.
If you want to turn off these "Not Secure" warnings, go to chrome://flags and search for "Secure" in the search bar at the top of the browser. For "Insecure origins treated as secure," enable it if it's disabled. Then, restart your browser and it shouldn't warn you if sites are considered unsafe.
2. Using Basic Methods to Access Blocked Sites
2-1. Understand when these tricks will work.
If the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.
VPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.
2-2. Use the website's mobile version.
Many websites, such as Facebook and YouTube, have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing "m." between the "www." section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.
For example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to "https://www.m.facebook.com/" in your browser.
2-3. Search for the website's IP address instead of its usual address.
You can find a website's IP address, which is its numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., "https://www.google.com/").
This won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.
If you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.
2-4. Use Google Translate.
This method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:
Go to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.
Type your website's address into the left text box.
Select any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.
Click the website's link in the right-most box.
Click the "Go to [Website]" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.
Click the Translate option if prompted.
Browse your site.
2-5. Use Wayback Machine to browse archived pages.
The Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.
Go to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.
Enter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.
Click BROWSE HISTORY
Select a calendar day.
Review the results.
2-6. Use a VPN
Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are always-on subscription services that route your Internet traffic through several different servers in different countries or locations. This effectively hides your Internet activity from anyone monitoring it, which likewise allows you to view sites and use services that are usually blocked in your area.
Most VPNs require a paid subscription, though some VPNs—such as Hotspot Shield—have a free version.
In order for your VPN to remain undetected, it must be on the entire time that you're online.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing Blocked Sites in Chrome\\n1-1. Open Chrome and go to the blocked website.\\nThis will only allow you to access a site that has not been blocked by your network; it has only been flagged by Chrome as unsafe.\\nWhen you try to go to a blocked site using Chrome, you'll see a page instead that warns you that the site you're trying to see is unsafe.\\n1-2. Click Advanced.\\nYou'll see this towards the bottom left of the warning text.\\n1-3. Click Proceed to [website].\\nThe full address of the website you're trying to access will be listed here.\\nIf you want to turn off these \\\"Not Secure\\\" warnings, go to chrome://flags and search for \\\"Secure\\\" in the search bar at the top of the browser. For \\\"Insecure origins treated as secure,\\\" enable it if it's disabled. Then, restart your browser and it shouldn't warn you if sites are considered unsafe.\\n2. Using Basic Methods to Access Blocked Sites\\n2-1. Understand when these tricks will work.\\nIf the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.\\nVPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.\\n2-2. Use the website's mobile version.\\nMany websites, such as Facebook and YouTube, have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing \\\"m.\\\" between the \\\"www.\\\" section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.\\nFor example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to \\\"https://www.m.facebook.com/\\\" in your browser.\\n2-3. Search for the website's IP address instead of its usual address.\\nYou can find a website's IP address, which is its numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., \\\"https://www.google.com/\\\").\\nThis won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.\\nIf you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.\\n2-4. Use Google Translate.\\nThis method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:\\nGo to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.\\nType your website's address into the left text box.\\nSelect any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.\\nClick the website's link in the right-most box.\\nClick the \\\"Go to [Website]\\\" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.\\nClick the Translate option if prompted.\\nBrowse your site.\\n2-5. Use Wayback Machine to browse archived pages.\\nThe Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.\\nGo to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.\\nEnter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.\\nClick BROWSE HISTORY\\nSelect a calendar day.\\nReview the results.\\n2-6. Use a VPN\\nVirtual Private Networks (VPNs) are always-on subscription services that route your Internet traffic through several different servers in different countries or locations. This effectively hides your Internet activity from anyone monitoring it, which likewise allows you to view sites and use services that are usually blocked in your area.\\nMost VPNs require a paid subscription, though some VPNs—such as Hotspot Shield—have a free version.\\nIn order for your VPN to remain undetected, it must be on the entire time that you're online.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If Google Chrome blocks a site automatically, it may be because Google deems that site unsafe, or because your employer or school has chosen to prevent access to that site, so you should proceed with caution. This wikiHow article will teach you how to access blocked sites in Chrome by using more common steps to bypass the blockage.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing Blocked Sites in Chrome\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Chrome and go to the blocked website.\", \"描述\": \"This will only allow you to access a site that has not been blocked by your network; it has only been flagged by Chrome as unsafe.\\nWhen you try to go to a blocked site using Chrome, you'll see a page instead that warns you that the site you're trying to see is unsafe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click Advanced.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this towards the bottom left of the warning text.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Proceed to [website].\", \"描述\": \"The full address of the website you're trying to access will be listed here.\\nIf you want to turn off these \\\"Not Secure\\\" warnings, go to chrome://flags and search for \\\"Secure\\\" in the search bar at the top of the browser. For \\\"Insecure origins treated as secure,\\\" enable it if it's disabled. Then, restart your browser and it shouldn't warn you if sites are considered unsafe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Basic Methods to Access Blocked Sites\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand when these tricks will work.\", \"描述\": \"If the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.\\nVPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use the website's mobile version.\", \"描述\": \"Many websites, such as Facebook and YouTube, have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing \\\"m.\\\" between the \\\"www.\\\" section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.\\nFor example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to \\\"https://www.m.facebook.com/\\\" in your browser.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for the website's IP address instead of its usual address.\", \"描述\": \"You can find a website's IP address, which is its numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., \\\"https://www.google.com/\\\").\\nThis won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.\\nIf you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use Google Translate.\", \"描述\": \"This method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:\\nGo to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.\\nType your website's address into the left text box.\\nSelect any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.\\nClick the website's link in the right-most box.\\nClick the \\\"Go to [Website]\\\" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.\\nClick the Translate option if prompted.\\nBrowse your site.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use Wayback Machine to browse archived pages.\", \"描述\": \"The Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.\\nGo to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.\\nEnter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.\\nClick BROWSE HISTORY\\nSelect a calendar day.\\nReview the results.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use a VPN\", \"描述\": \"Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are always-on subscription services that route your Internet traffic through several different servers in different countries or locations. This effectively hides your Internet activity from anyone monitoring it, which likewise allows you to view sites and use services that are usually blocked in your area.\\nMost VPNs require a paid subscription, though some VPNs—such as Hotspot Shield—have a free version.\\nIn order for your VPN to remain undetected, it must be on the entire time that you're online.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
169 | How to Access Blocked Websites | 1. Using General Tricks
1-1. Understand when these tricks will work.
If the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.
VPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.
1-2. Try using the website's mobile version.
Many websites, such as Facebook have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing "m." between the "www." section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.
For example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to "https://www.m.facebook.com/" in your browser.
If the website reroutes you to the desktop version of the site, try minimizing your web browser and viewing it in a small window the size of a smartphone screen.
1-3. Search for the website's IP address instead of its domain name. You can find a website's IP address, which is its raw numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., "https://www.google.com/").
This won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.
If you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.
Enter the website address in the address bar at the top.
1-4. Use the Tor browser.
The Tor browser is a free web browser that is used to keep you anonymous on the web by routing your web traffic through a series of proxy servers. Tor is often used to access websites that are blocked by the country or region you live in. You can install it on your computer directly or use it as a portable browser. Use the following steps to install and use Tor on your computer:
Go to https://www.torproject.org/download/ in a web browser.
Click the download link for your operating system.
Open the installation file in your web browser or Downloads.
Follow the instructions to complete the installation.
Open the Tor browser.
Click .
Enter the web address you want to visit in the address bar at the top.
1-5. Use Google Translate
This method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:
Go to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.
Type your website's address into the left text box.
Select any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.
Click the website's link in the right-most box.
Click the "Go to [Website]" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.
Click the option if prompted.
Browse your site.
1-6. Use Wayback Machine
The Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed or current information, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.
Go to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.
Enter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.
Click
Select a calendar day.
Review the results.
2. Using a VPN
2-1. Understand what a VPN does.
VPN stands for "Virtual Private Network". It works by routing your internet through a proxy server. This helps to hide your IP address, access blocked websites and region-locked content, and protect your privacy. A VPN can be installed on your computer or mobile device to route all internet traffic on that device, or it can be installed on your router to route your entire home network through a proxy server.
2-2. Decide on a VPN service.
There are many VPN services to choose from. Some VPNs charge a subscription fee, some are free to use.
While some VPNs are free to use, paid VPN services tend to be more trustworthy. Free VPNs may use adware and/or collect and sell your personal data to maintain the cost of their servers. If you are looking for a temporary solution, many paid VPNs offer a free trial.
If you are concerned about your privacy, make sure you use a VPN service that doesn't keep logs. If a VPN service keeps logs, they have a record of the websites that you have visited.
Paid VPN services include Express VPN, NordVPN, and CyberGhost. Free VPN services include: ProtonVPN, Windscribe Free, TunnelBear, and Speedify.
Hoping to save money on your paid VPN subscription? Head to wikiHow's coupon pages for NordVPN, ExpressVPN, and/or CyberGhost VPN to see if you can save on your purchase.
2-3. Sign up for an account.
Once you've decided on a VPN service, go to the website for that service provider and sign up for a new account.
2-4. Download and install the VPN software.
After you sign up for an account with your VPN service provider, download the software for your computer or mobile device.
If you want to route your entire home network or wireless network through a VPN, you'll either need to purchase a special router, or you'll need to consult with your VPN service provider to learn how to configure your current router to work with the VPN.
2-5. Open the VPN software and log in.
After you download and install the VPN software, launch it and sign in using the username and password associated with the account you signed up for.
2-6. Activate the VPN.
Once you launch the VPN software and sign in, you'll need to activate the service. Normally, there is a toggle switch or button you can click to activate the service. This starts routing all your traffic through a proxy server.
2-7. Browse the internet as normal.
Once you have activated the VPN, you can use your web browser and internet-based apps as you normally would.
3. Using the ProxFree Proxy
3-1. Go to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser.
ProxFree is a free proxy server website. It routes your internet traffic through a proxy server that masks the web address of the blocked website.
If this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search "Proxy servers" to find a list of proxy websites you can use. You are bound to find one that works.
3-2. Click the search bar.
It's near the bottom of the page to the right of the padlock icon.
3-3. Enter your website's address.
Type in the address of the website that you want to access (i.e: "www.facebook.com").
You can select a different country to use by clicking the "Server Location" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.
3-4. Click PROXFREE.
It's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.
If you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.
3-5. Browse your site.
Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.
4. Using the HideMe Proxy
4-1. Go to https://hide.me/en/proxy in your browser.
HideMe offers a free proxy server you can use to browse the web anonymously. They also offer a VPN service you can download.
If this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search "Proxy servers" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.
4-2. Enter a web address.
Enter the web address for the website you want to visit in the field that says "Enter web address" (i.e. "www.facebook.com"). It's in the white box that says "Browse securely on the fly" on the right side.
If you want, you can use the drop-down menu below the field where you enter the web address to select which country you want to route your traffic through.
The drop-down menu that says to select more options. You can encrypt the web address, the entire web page, allow or disallow cookies, scripts, and objects.
4-3. Click Go.
It's the blue button next to the field where you enter your web address. This routes you to your website through the proxy server.
4-4. Browse the website.
You can browse your website through the HideMe proxy server just like you would if you were visiting the website directly.
When visiting a website through a proxy website, load times may be significantly slower than normal.
5. Using the ProxySite Proxy
5-1. Go to https://www.proxysite.com/ in your browser.
ProxySite.com is another free proxy server website you can use to get around blocked websites.
If this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search "Proxy servers" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.
5-2. Enter a website's address.
Type the address of a blocked website into the text box near the top of the page.
You can also select a different country as your server location by clicking the "US Server" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name in the resulting menu.
5-3. Click GO.
It's an orange button to the right of the text box. Doing so will begin loading your website.
5-4. Browse your site.
Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.
6. Using a Portable Browser
6-1. Understand how this method works.
A few Internet browsers come equipped with built-in proxies that allow you to bypass web restrictions. These browsers are usually impossible to download on restricted computers, but a few of them have "portable" versions; you can install the portable version of such a browser onto a flash drive and then run the browser on the restricted computer from the flash drive.
You'll likely need to use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to install the portable browser onto your flash drive.
If the computer on which you're attempting to use the portable browser doesn't allow for USB connections, you won't be able to use a portable browser on it.
6-2. Plug a flash drive into your computer.
It should plug into one of your computer's USB ports.
Again, you'll most likely need to do this from a personal computer on an unrestricted network (e.g., your home computer).
6-3. Open the Tor download page.
Go to https://www.torproject.org/download/download-easy.html.en in your browser.
6-4. Click DOWNLOAD.
It's a purple button in the middle of the page.
6-5. Move the Tor setup file onto your flash drive.
Go to the folder into which the setup file downloaded, then do the following:
Click the file to select it.
Press Ctrl+X (Windows) or ⌘ Command+X (Mac) to copy the file and remove it from its current location.
Click your flash drive's name on the left side of the window.
Click a blank space in the flash drive's window.
Press Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac) to paste the file into your flash drive.
6-6. Install Tor on your flash drive.
To do so:
Windows - Double-click the Tor EXE file, select a language and click , click , select your flash drive's name and click , and click . Uncheck both boxes and click when prompted.
Mac - Double-click the Tor DMG file, verify the download if necessary, and follow any additional instructions on-screen.
6-7. Eject your flash drive
Now that Tor is installed on the flash drive, you can proceed with running Tor on your restricted computer without worrying about the installation being denied.
6-8. Plug your flash drive into a restricted computer.
This should be the computer on which you want to access a blocked website.
6-9. Open Tor.
To do so:
Open your flash drive if it didn't already open.
Double-click the "Tor Browser" folder.
Double-click the "Start Tor Browser" icon.
6-10. Click Connect.
This will launch Tor, which resembles an old version of Firefox.
6-11. Go to a blocked site.
Use the text box in the middle of the Tor welcome page to do so. Since Tor opens with a built-in proxy, you should be able to visit any site.
Keep in mind that site load times will increase due to your browser traffic being routed through different servers.
Tips
Portable browsers are perhaps the most secure way to bypass websites outside of using your own VPN.
Warnings
If you get caught bypassing blocked websites, you will likely be punished. This could result in suspension/expulsion from school or termination of your job.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:31",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using General Tricks\\n1-1. Understand when these tricks will work.\\nIf the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.\\nVPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.\\n1-2. Try using the website's mobile version.\\nMany websites, such as Facebook have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing \\\"m.\\\" between the \\\"www.\\\" section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.\\nFor example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to \\\"https://www.m.facebook.com/\\\" in your browser.\\nIf the website reroutes you to the desktop version of the site, try minimizing your web browser and viewing it in a small window the size of a smartphone screen.\\n1-3. Search for the website's IP address instead of its domain name. You can find a website's IP address, which is its raw numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., \\\"https://www.google.com/\\\").\\nThis won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.\\nIf you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.\\nEnter the website address in the address bar at the top.\\n1-4. Use the Tor browser.\\nThe Tor browser is a free web browser that is used to keep you anonymous on the web by routing your web traffic through a series of proxy servers. Tor is often used to access websites that are blocked by the country or region you live in. You can install it on your computer directly or use it as a portable browser. Use the following steps to install and use Tor on your computer:\\nGo to https://www.torproject.org/download/ in a web browser.\\nClick the download link for your operating system.\\nOpen the installation file in your web browser or Downloads.\\nFollow the instructions to complete the installation.\\nOpen the Tor browser.\\nClick .\\nEnter the web address you want to visit in the address bar at the top.\\n1-5. Use Google Translate\\nThis method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:\\nGo to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.\\nType your website's address into the left text box.\\nSelect any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.\\nClick the website's link in the right-most box.\\nClick the \\\"Go to [Website]\\\" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.\\nClick the option if prompted.\\nBrowse your site.\\n1-6. Use Wayback Machine\\nThe Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed or current information, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.\\nGo to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.\\nEnter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.\\nClick \\nSelect a calendar day.\\nReview the results.\\n2. Using a VPN\\n2-1. Understand what a VPN does.\\nVPN stands for \\\"Virtual Private Network\\\". It works by routing your internet through a proxy server. This helps to hide your IP address, access blocked websites and region-locked content, and protect your privacy. A VPN can be installed on your computer or mobile device to route all internet traffic on that device, or it can be installed on your router to route your entire home network through a proxy server.\\n2-2. Decide on a VPN service.\\nThere are many VPN services to choose from. Some VPNs charge a subscription fee, some are free to use.\\nWhile some VPNs are free to use, paid VPN services tend to be more trustworthy. Free VPNs may use adware and/or collect and sell your personal data to maintain the cost of their servers. If you are looking for a temporary solution, many paid VPNs offer a free trial.\\nIf you are concerned about your privacy, make sure you use a VPN service that doesn't keep logs. If a VPN service keeps logs, they have a record of the websites that you have visited.\\nPaid VPN services include Express VPN, NordVPN, and CyberGhost. Free VPN services include: ProtonVPN, Windscribe Free, TunnelBear, and Speedify.\\nHoping to save money on your paid VPN subscription? Head to wikiHow's coupon pages for NordVPN, ExpressVPN, and/or CyberGhost VPN to see if you can save on your purchase.\\n2-3. Sign up for an account.\\nOnce you've decided on a VPN service, go to the website for that service provider and sign up for a new account.\\n2-4. Download and install the VPN software.\\nAfter you sign up for an account with your VPN service provider, download the software for your computer or mobile device.\\nIf you want to route your entire home network or wireless network through a VPN, you'll either need to purchase a special router, or you'll need to consult with your VPN service provider to learn how to configure your current router to work with the VPN.\\n2-5. Open the VPN software and log in.\\nAfter you download and install the VPN software, launch it and sign in using the username and password associated with the account you signed up for.\\n2-6. Activate the VPN.\\nOnce you launch the VPN software and sign in, you'll need to activate the service. Normally, there is a toggle switch or button you can click to activate the service. This starts routing all your traffic through a proxy server.\\n2-7. Browse the internet as normal.\\nOnce you have activated the VPN, you can use your web browser and internet-based apps as you normally would.\\n3. Using the ProxFree Proxy\\n3-1. Go to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser.\\nProxFree is a free proxy server website. It routes your internet traffic through a proxy server that masks the web address of the blocked website.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use. You are bound to find one that works.\\n3-2. Click the search bar.\\nIt's near the bottom of the page to the right of the padlock icon.\\n3-3. Enter your website's address.\\nType in the address of the website that you want to access (i.e: \\\"www.facebook.com\\\").\\nYou can select a different country to use by clicking the \\\"Server Location\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.\\n3-4. Click PROXFREE.\\nIt's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.\\nIf you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.\\n3-5. Browse your site.\\nOnce the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\\n4. Using the HideMe Proxy\\n4-1. Go to https://hide.me/en/proxy in your browser.\\nHideMe offers a free proxy server you can use to browse the web anonymously. They also offer a VPN service you can download.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.\\n4-2. Enter a web address.\\nEnter the web address for the website you want to visit in the field that says \\\"Enter web address\\\" (i.e. \\\"www.facebook.com\\\"). It's in the white box that says \\\"Browse securely on the fly\\\" on the right side.\\nIf you want, you can use the drop-down menu below the field where you enter the web address to select which country you want to route your traffic through.\\nThe drop-down menu that says to select more options. You can encrypt the web address, the entire web page, allow or disallow cookies, scripts, and objects.\\n4-3. Click Go.\\nIt's the blue button next to the field where you enter your web address. This routes you to your website through the proxy server.\\n4-4. Browse the website.\\nYou can browse your website through the HideMe proxy server just like you would if you were visiting the website directly.\\nWhen visiting a website through a proxy website, load times may be significantly slower than normal.\\n5. Using the ProxySite Proxy\\n5-1. Go to https://www.proxysite.com/ in your browser.\\nProxySite.com is another free proxy server website you can use to get around blocked websites.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.\\n5-2. Enter a website's address.\\nType the address of a blocked website into the text box near the top of the page.\\nYou can also select a different country as your server location by clicking the \\\"US Server\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name in the resulting menu.\\n5-3. Click GO.\\nIt's an orange button to the right of the text box. Doing so will begin loading your website.\\n5-4. Browse your site.\\nOnce the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\\n6. Using a Portable Browser\\n6-1. Understand how this method works.\\nA few Internet browsers come equipped with built-in proxies that allow you to bypass web restrictions. These browsers are usually impossible to download on restricted computers, but a few of them have \\\"portable\\\" versions; you can install the portable version of such a browser onto a flash drive and then run the browser on the restricted computer from the flash drive.\\nYou'll likely need to use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to install the portable browser onto your flash drive.\\nIf the computer on which you're attempting to use the portable browser doesn't allow for USB connections, you won't be able to use a portable browser on it.\\n6-2. Plug a flash drive into your computer.\\nIt should plug into one of your computer's USB ports.\\nAgain, you'll most likely need to do this from a personal computer on an unrestricted network (e.g., your home computer).\\n6-3. Open the Tor download page.\\nGo to https://www.torproject.org/download/download-easy.html.en in your browser.\\n6-4. Click DOWNLOAD.\\nIt's a purple button in the middle of the page.\\n6-5. Move the Tor setup file onto your flash drive.\\nGo to the folder into which the setup file downloaded, then do the following:\\nClick the file to select it.\\nPress Ctrl+X (Windows) or ⌘ Command+X (Mac) to copy the file and remove it from its current location.\\nClick your flash drive's name on the left side of the window.\\nClick a blank space in the flash drive's window.\\nPress Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac) to paste the file into your flash drive.\\n6-6. Install Tor on your flash drive.\\nTo do so:\\n\\nWindows - Double-click the Tor EXE file, select a language and click , click , select your flash drive's name and click , and click . Uncheck both boxes and click when prompted.\\nMac - Double-click the Tor DMG file, verify the download if necessary, and follow any additional instructions on-screen.\\n6-7. Eject your flash drive\\nNow that Tor is installed on the flash drive, you can proceed with running Tor on your restricted computer without worrying about the installation being denied.\\n6-8. Plug your flash drive into a restricted computer.\\nThis should be the computer on which you want to access a blocked website.\\n6-9. Open Tor.\\nTo do so:\\nOpen your flash drive if it didn't already open.\\nDouble-click the \\\"Tor Browser\\\" folder.\\nDouble-click the \\\"Start Tor Browser\\\" icon.\\n6-10. Click Connect.\\nThis will launch Tor, which resembles an old version of Firefox.\\n6-11. Go to a blocked site.\\nUse the text box in the middle of the Tor welcome page to do so. Since Tor opens with a built-in proxy, you should be able to visit any site.\\nKeep in mind that site load times will increase due to your browser traffic being routed through different servers.\\nTips\\nPortable browsers are perhaps the most secure way to bypass websites outside of using your own VPN.\\nWarnings\\nIf you get caught bypassing blocked websites, you will likely be punished. This could result in suspension/expulsion from school or termination of your job.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you trying to access a website that's blocked at school or work? If your network administrator (or your parents) restricted your access to a website, getting around the block might seem tricky. Fortunately, you have several options for unblocking banned websites. This wikiHow article will teach you tricks for bypassing website restrictions using a VPN, Tor, free proxies, and more!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using General Tricks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand when these tricks will work.\", \"描述\": \"If the site that you're trying to access is blocked specifically on your computer, you may be able to access it by using the website's mobile version, IP address, or Google Translate. In the event that you're unable to access websites that are blocked on your Internet connection, however, you'll need to use a VPN.\\nVPNs can be difficult to install on monitored or controlled computers (e.g., library, school, or work machines); however, if you use a personal computer for work, you should be able to install the VPN while on your own wireless network.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try using the website's mobile version.\", \"描述\": \"Many websites, such as Facebook have mobile alternatives that can be visited by typing \\\"m.\\\" between the \\\"www.\\\" section of the website's address and the website's name. Many blocking services do not account for the mobile versions of blocked sites.\\nFor example, you would access the mobile version of Facebook by going to \\\"https://www.m.facebook.com/\\\" in your browser.\\nIf the website reroutes you to the desktop version of the site, try minimizing your web browser and viewing it in a small window the size of a smartphone screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for the website's IP address instead of its domain name. You can find a website's IP address, which is its raw numerical address, on any major computer platform, after which point you can enter the IP address into the browser's URL bar the same way that you'd search for a regular address (e.g., \\\"https://www.google.com/\\\").\", \"描述\": \"This won't work for all websites; some services hide their IP addresses, and others use multiple IP addresses which aren't always reliable.\\nIf you don't have access to Command Prompt (Windows) or Terminal (Mac) on the computer on which sites are blocked, you can use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to find the IP address and then just use the address on your restricted computer.\\nEnter the website address in the address bar at the top.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use the Tor browser.\", \"描述\": \"The Tor browser is a free web browser that is used to keep you anonymous on the web by routing your web traffic through a series of proxy servers. Tor is often used to access websites that are blocked by the country or region you live in. You can install it on your computer directly or use it as a portable browser. Use the following steps to install and use Tor on your computer:\\nGo to https://www.torproject.org/download/ in a web browser.\\nClick the download link for your operating system.\\nOpen the installation file in your web browser or Downloads.\\nFollow the instructions to complete the installation.\\nOpen the Tor browser.\\nClick .\\nEnter the web address you want to visit in the address bar at the top.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use Google Translate\", \"描述\": \"This method doesn't always work, but it provides a simple alternative to using a proxy site or a portable browser:\\nGo to https://translate.google.com/ in your browser.\\nType your website's address into the left text box.\\nSelect any language other than the website's original language for the right-most box.\\nClick the website's link in the right-most box.\\nClick the \\\"Go to [Website]\\\" link on the left side of the page if the website doesn't immediately load.\\nClick the option if prompted.\\nBrowse your site.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use Wayback Machine\", \"描述\": \"The Wayback Machine site allows you to browse past versions of websites without actually going to the site in question. This won't help if you're attempting to check your Facebook feed or current information, but you can use the Wayback Machine to view blocked research resources and the like.\\nGo to https://archive.org/web/ in your computer's browser.\\nEnter a website's address into the text field that's near the top of the page.\\nClick \\nSelect a calendar day.\\nReview the results.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using a VPN\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand what a VPN does.\", \"描述\": \"VPN stands for \\\"Virtual Private Network\\\". It works by routing your internet through a proxy server. This helps to hide your IP address, access blocked websites and region-locked content, and protect your privacy. A VPN can be installed on your computer or mobile device to route all internet traffic on that device, or it can be installed on your router to route your entire home network through a proxy server.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide on a VPN service.\", \"描述\": \"There are many VPN services to choose from. Some VPNs charge a subscription fee, some are free to use.\\nWhile some VPNs are free to use, paid VPN services tend to be more trustworthy. Free VPNs may use adware and/or collect and sell your personal data to maintain the cost of their servers. If you are looking for a temporary solution, many paid VPNs offer a free trial.\\nIf you are concerned about your privacy, make sure you use a VPN service that doesn't keep logs. If a VPN service keeps logs, they have a record of the websites that you have visited.\\nPaid VPN services include Express VPN, NordVPN, and CyberGhost. Free VPN services include: ProtonVPN, Windscribe Free, TunnelBear, and Speedify.\\nHoping to save money on your paid VPN subscription? Head to wikiHow's coupon pages for NordVPN, ExpressVPN, and/or CyberGhost VPN to see if you can save on your purchase.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign up for an account.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've decided on a VPN service, go to the website for that service provider and sign up for a new account.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Download and install the VPN software.\", \"描述\": \"After you sign up for an account with your VPN service provider, download the software for your computer or mobile device.\\nIf you want to route your entire home network or wireless network through a VPN, you'll either need to purchase a special router, or you'll need to consult with your VPN service provider to learn how to configure your current router to work with the VPN.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Open the VPN software and log in.\", \"描述\": \"After you download and install the VPN software, launch it and sign in using the username and password associated with the account you signed up for.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Activate the VPN.\", \"描述\": \"Once you launch the VPN software and sign in, you'll need to activate the service. Normally, there is a toggle switch or button you can click to activate the service. This starts routing all your traffic through a proxy server.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Browse the internet as normal.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have activated the VPN, you can use your web browser and internet-based apps as you normally would.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using the ProxFree Proxy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.proxfree.com/ in your browser.\", \"描述\": \"ProxFree is a free proxy server website. It routes your internet traffic through a proxy server that masks the web address of the blocked website.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use. You are bound to find one that works.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the search bar.\", \"描述\": \"It's near the bottom of the page to the right of the padlock icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Enter your website's address.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the address of the website that you want to access (i.e: \\\"www.facebook.com\\\").\\nYou can select a different country to use by clicking the \\\"Server Location\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click PROXFREE.\", \"描述\": \"It's a blue button to the right of the search bar. Doing so will search for your website.\\nIf you selected a country significantly outside of your own for your IP address' location, the search results may take several seconds to a minute to display.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Browse your site.\", \"描述\": \"Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Using the HideMe Proxy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://hide.me/en/proxy in your browser.\", \"描述\": \"HideMe offers a free proxy server you can use to browse the web anonymously. They also offer a VPN service you can download.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enter a web address.\", \"描述\": \"Enter the web address for the website you want to visit in the field that says \\\"Enter web address\\\" (i.e. \\\"www.facebook.com\\\"). It's in the white box that says \\\"Browse securely on the fly\\\" on the right side.\\nIf you want, you can use the drop-down menu below the field where you enter the web address to select which country you want to route your traffic through.\\nThe drop-down menu that says to select more options. You can encrypt the web address, the entire web page, allow or disallow cookies, scripts, and objects.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Go.\", \"描述\": \"It's the blue button next to the field where you enter your web address. This routes you to your website through the proxy server.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Browse the website.\", \"描述\": \"You can browse your website through the HideMe proxy server just like you would if you were visiting the website directly.\\nWhen visiting a website through a proxy website, load times may be significantly slower than normal.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Using the ProxySite Proxy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.proxysite.com/ in your browser.\", \"描述\": \"ProxySite.com is another free proxy server website you can use to get around blocked websites.\\nIf this site is blocked on your computer, there are other free proxy websites you can use. Try one of the other ones listed here, or use Google to search \\\"Proxy servers\\\" to find a list of proxy websites you can use.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enter a website's address.\", \"描述\": \"Type the address of a blocked website into the text box near the top of the page.\\nYou can also select a different country as your server location by clicking the \\\"US Server\\\" drop-down box and then clicking a different country's name in the resulting menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click GO.\", \"描述\": \"It's an orange button to the right of the text box. Doing so will begin loading your website.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Browse your site.\", \"描述\": \"Once the website loads, you should be able to use it like usual. Keep in mind, however, that your website's load times will likely be significantly slower than usual.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Using a Portable Browser\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand how this method works.\", \"描述\": \"A few Internet browsers come equipped with built-in proxies that allow you to bypass web restrictions. These browsers are usually impossible to download on restricted computers, but a few of them have \\\"portable\\\" versions; you can install the portable version of such a browser onto a flash drive and then run the browser on the restricted computer from the flash drive.\\nYou'll likely need to use a personal computer on an unrestricted network to install the portable browser onto your flash drive.\\nIf the computer on which you're attempting to use the portable browser doesn't allow for USB connections, you won't be able to use a portable browser on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plug a flash drive into your computer.\", \"描述\": \"It should plug into one of your computer's USB ports.\\nAgain, you'll most likely need to do this from a personal computer on an unrestricted network (e.g., your home computer).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Open the Tor download page.\", \"描述\": \"Go to https://www.torproject.org/download/download-easy.html.en in your browser.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click DOWNLOAD.\", \"描述\": \"It's a purple button in the middle of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Move the Tor setup file onto your flash drive.\", \"描述\": \"Go to the folder into which the setup file downloaded, then do the following:\\nClick the file to select it.\\nPress Ctrl+X (Windows) or ⌘ Command+X (Mac) to copy the file and remove it from its current location.\\nClick your flash drive's name on the left side of the window.\\nClick a blank space in the flash drive's window.\\nPress Ctrl+V (Windows) or ⌘ Command+V (Mac) to paste the file into your flash drive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Install Tor on your flash drive.\", \"描述\": \"To do so:\\n\\nWindows - Double-click the Tor EXE file, select a language and click , click , select your flash drive's name and click , and click . Uncheck both boxes and click when prompted.\\nMac - Double-click the Tor DMG file, verify the download if necessary, and follow any additional instructions on-screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Eject your flash drive\", \"描述\": \"Now that Tor is installed on the flash drive, you can proceed with running Tor on your restricted computer without worrying about the installation being denied.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Plug your flash drive into a restricted computer.\", \"描述\": \"This should be the computer on which you want to access a blocked website.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Open Tor.\", \"描述\": \"To do so:\\nOpen your flash drive if it didn't already open.\\nDouble-click the \\\"Tor Browser\\\" folder.\\nDouble-click the \\\"Start Tor Browser\\\" icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Click Connect.\", \"描述\": \"This will launch Tor, which resembles an old version of Firefox.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Go to a blocked site.\", \"描述\": \"Use the text box in the middle of the Tor welcome page to do so. Since Tor opens with a built-in proxy, you should be able to visit any site.\\nKeep in mind that site load times will increase due to your browser traffic being routed through different servers.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Portable browsers are perhaps the most secure way to bypass websites outside of using your own VPN.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you get caught bypassing blocked websites, you will likely be punished. This could result in suspension/expulsion from school or termination of your job.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
170 | Easily Ways to View & Manage Bookmarks in Google Chrome | 1. Find Bookmarks on a Computer
1-1. Use the Bookmarks bar.
When you save a bookmark on your computer, it usually saves to the Bookmarks bar by default.
If you don't see the Bookmarks bar at the top of your browser below the omnibar, you can display it by clicking the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and selecting > .
If you can't find the bookmark you're looking for, click on the bookmarks bar.
If the bookmark you're looking for isn't there, click on the far-right side of the Bookmarks bar to see the bookmarks that don't quite fit on the bar.
1-2. Use the Bookmarks menu.
Another easy way to view your bookmarks is to click the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and select . This displays all of your bookmarks, as well as any bookmark folders you've created.
If you created a bookmark on your phone or tablet, you'll usually find it in the folder here.
1-3. Use the side panel.
Click the Side Panel icon, which looks like an empty rectangle next to a colored-in rectangle, at the top-right corner of Chrome to expand the side panel, then click the tab at the top to see your bookmarks.
This option is great for when you want to browse the web while keeping your list of bookmarks open.
Shopping for PC accessories or office supplies? Check out our coupon site for Staples discounts or our coupon site for Office Depot.
2. Find Bookmarks on a Phone
Tap ⋮ at the top-right corner of Chrome and select Bookmarks.
If you want to see your bookmarks while using Chrome on your Android or iPhone, you'll find them here.
Simply tap a bookmark to open that website.
3. Manage Your Bookmarks
3-1. Open your Bookmark Manager.
If you want to edit your bookmarks, organize them in to folders, or delete the ones you no longer need, you can edit your bookmarks in Bookmark Manager on a computer.
On a computer, press (PC) or (Mac) to open a new window with all your bookmarks. You can also click the three-dot menu icon and go to .
On a phone or tablet, the Bookmark Manager isn't as comprehensive, but you can still manage your bookmarks. Just tap the three-dot menu icon and then tap .
3-2. Create folders for your bookmarks (if you're using a computer).
On a computer, you'll see a list of folders on the left side of Bookmark Manager. You can create a new folder for bookmarks by clicking an existing folder, right-clicking a blank area of the screen, and selecting .
3-3. Drag and drop bookmarks into folders.
If you want to organize your bookmarks, you can drag and drop them into (or out of) the folders you created. You can even drag them up to the Bookmark bar at the top of the browser.
On a phone or tablet, you can create folders only when adding a new bookmark.
3-4. Delete a bookmark.
To remove a bookmark:
On a computer, click the three dots on the right side of a bookmark, then choose .
On a phone or tablet, swipe left on the bookmark and select .
4. Add a Bookmark
4-1. Open Chrome and go to a page you want to save.
You can bookmark a site on your computer, Android, iPhone, or iPad using similar steps.
4-2. Click the star icon .
If you're using a computer, you'll see it on the far-right edge of the omnibar, which is at the top of your browser. On a phone or tablet, tap the three dots and then tap the star (Android) or (iPhone/iPad).
If you're using a computer, you can also bookmark a page by pressing (PC) or (Mac).
4-3. Customize the name of your bookmark.
Before the bookmark saves, you can change the name if you want to next to the "Name" field as well as the location where it saves.
If you want the bookmark to appear on your bookmark bar, change the drop-down next to "Folder" to say "Bookmarks bar." Alternatively, you can add the bookmark to another folder or create new folders to keep things organized.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Find Bookmarks on a Computer\\n1-1. Use the Bookmarks bar.\\nWhen you save a bookmark on your computer, it usually saves to the Bookmarks bar by default.\\nIf you don't see the Bookmarks bar at the top of your browser below the omnibar, you can display it by clicking the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and selecting > .\\nIf you can't find the bookmark you're looking for, click on the bookmarks bar.\\nIf the bookmark you're looking for isn't there, click on the far-right side of the Bookmarks bar to see the bookmarks that don't quite fit on the bar.\\n1-2. Use the Bookmarks menu.\\nAnother easy way to view your bookmarks is to click the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and select . This displays all of your bookmarks, as well as any bookmark folders you've created.\\nIf you created a bookmark on your phone or tablet, you'll usually find it in the folder here.\\n1-3. Use the side panel.\\nClick the Side Panel icon, which looks like an empty rectangle next to a colored-in rectangle, at the top-right corner of Chrome to expand the side panel, then click the tab at the top to see your bookmarks.\\nThis option is great for when you want to browse the web while keeping your list of bookmarks open.\\nShopping for PC accessories or office supplies? Check out our coupon site for Staples discounts or our coupon site for Office Depot.\\n2. Find Bookmarks on a Phone\\nTap ⋮ at the top-right corner of Chrome and select Bookmarks.\\nIf you want to see your bookmarks while using Chrome on your Android or iPhone, you'll find them here.\\nSimply tap a bookmark to open that website.\\n3. Manage Your Bookmarks\\n3-1. Open your Bookmark Manager.\\nIf you want to edit your bookmarks, organize them in to folders, or delete the ones you no longer need, you can edit your bookmarks in Bookmark Manager on a computer.\\nOn a computer, press (PC) or (Mac) to open a new window with all your bookmarks. You can also click the three-dot menu icon and go to .\\nOn a phone or tablet, the Bookmark Manager isn't as comprehensive, but you can still manage your bookmarks. Just tap the three-dot menu icon and then tap .\\n3-2. Create folders for your bookmarks (if you're using a computer).\\nOn a computer, you'll see a list of folders on the left side of Bookmark Manager. You can create a new folder for bookmarks by clicking an existing folder, right-clicking a blank area of the screen, and selecting .\\n3-3. Drag and drop bookmarks into folders.\\nIf you want to organize your bookmarks, you can drag and drop them into (or out of) the folders you created. You can even drag them up to the Bookmark bar at the top of the browser.\\nOn a phone or tablet, you can create folders only when adding a new bookmark.\\n3-4. Delete a bookmark.\\nTo remove a bookmark:\\nOn a computer, click the three dots on the right side of a bookmark, then choose .\\nOn a phone or tablet, swipe left on the bookmark and select .\\n4. Add a Bookmark\\n4-1. Open Chrome and go to a page you want to save.\\nYou can bookmark a site on your computer, Android, iPhone, or iPad using similar steps.\\n4-2. Click the star icon .\\nIf you're using a computer, you'll see it on the far-right edge of the omnibar, which is at the top of your browser. On a phone or tablet, tap the three dots and then tap the star (Android) or (iPhone/iPad).\\nIf you're using a computer, you can also bookmark a page by pressing (PC) or (Mac).\\n4-3. Customize the name of your bookmark.\\nBefore the bookmark saves, you can change the name if you want to next to the \\\"Name\\\" field as well as the location where it saves.\\nIf you want the bookmark to appear on your bookmark bar, change the drop-down next to \\\"Folder\\\" to say \\\"Bookmarks bar.\\\" Alternatively, you can add the bookmark to another folder or create new folders to keep things organized.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Did you bookmark a website in Chrome and now you can't find it? Fortunately, there are several easy ways to view your saved bookmarks in Chrome. And, if you're signed in to Chrome using the same Google account you use on other devices, bookmarks you create will automatically sync to all of your devices. This wikiHow article will show you how to view and manage your bookmarks in the Google Chrome web browser.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find Bookmarks on a Computer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the Bookmarks bar.\", \"描述\": \"When you save a bookmark on your computer, it usually saves to the Bookmarks bar by default.\\nIf you don't see the Bookmarks bar at the top of your browser below the omnibar, you can display it by clicking the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and selecting > .\\nIf you can't find the bookmark you're looking for, click on the bookmarks bar.\\nIf the bookmark you're looking for isn't there, click on the far-right side of the Bookmarks bar to see the bookmarks that don't quite fit on the bar.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use the Bookmarks menu.\", \"描述\": \"Another easy way to view your bookmarks is to click the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of Chrome and select . This displays all of your bookmarks, as well as any bookmark folders you've created.\\nIf you created a bookmark on your phone or tablet, you'll usually find it in the folder here.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use the side panel.\", \"描述\": \"Click the Side Panel icon, which looks like an empty rectangle next to a colored-in rectangle, at the top-right corner of Chrome to expand the side panel, then click the tab at the top to see your bookmarks.\\nThis option is great for when you want to browse the web while keeping your list of bookmarks open.\\nShopping for PC accessories or office supplies? Check out our coupon site for Staples discounts or our coupon site for Office Depot.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find Bookmarks on a Phone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap ⋮ at the top-right corner of Chrome and select Bookmarks.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to see your bookmarks while using Chrome on your Android or iPhone, you'll find them here.\\nSimply tap a bookmark to open that website.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Manage Your Bookmarks\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your Bookmark Manager.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to edit your bookmarks, organize them in to folders, or delete the ones you no longer need, you can edit your bookmarks in Bookmark Manager on a computer.\\nOn a computer, press (PC) or (Mac) to open a new window with all your bookmarks. You can also click the three-dot menu icon and go to .\\nOn a phone or tablet, the Bookmark Manager isn't as comprehensive, but you can still manage your bookmarks. Just tap the three-dot menu icon and then tap .\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create folders for your bookmarks (if you're using a computer).\", \"描述\": \"On a computer, you'll see a list of folders on the left side of Bookmark Manager. You can create a new folder for bookmarks by clicking an existing folder, right-clicking a blank area of the screen, and selecting .\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Drag and drop bookmarks into folders.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to organize your bookmarks, you can drag and drop them into (or out of) the folders you created. You can even drag them up to the Bookmark bar at the top of the browser.\\nOn a phone or tablet, you can create folders only when adding a new bookmark.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Delete a bookmark.\", \"描述\": \"To remove a bookmark:\\nOn a computer, click the three dots on the right side of a bookmark, then choose .\\nOn a phone or tablet, swipe left on the bookmark and select .\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add a Bookmark\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Chrome and go to a page you want to save.\", \"描述\": \"You can bookmark a site on your computer, Android, iPhone, or iPad using similar steps.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the star icon .\", \"描述\": \"If you're using a computer, you'll see it on the far-right edge of the omnibar, which is at the top of your browser. On a phone or tablet, tap the three dots and then tap the star (Android) or (iPhone/iPad).\\nIf you're using a computer, you can also bookmark a page by pressing (PC) or (Mac).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Customize the name of your bookmark.\", \"描述\": \"Before the bookmark saves, you can change the name if you want to next to the \\\"Name\\\" field as well as the location where it saves.\\nIf you want the bookmark to appear on your bookmark bar, change the drop-down next to \\\"Folder\\\" to say \\\"Bookmarks bar.\\\" Alternatively, you can add the bookmark to another folder or create new folders to keep things organized.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
171 | How to Access Camera on Android | 1. From the App Drawer
1-1. Unlock your Android’s screen.
The steps to do this will vary, but you’ll often have to press the Power or Volume button, swipe the screen, and then enter a PIN or pattern.
1-2. Tap the app drawer icon.
It’s the icon made of 6 to 9 small dots or squares at the bottom of the home screen. This opens the list of apps on your Android.
If you see the app on the home screen, you don’t have to open the app drawer. Just tap or the icon that looks like a camera.
1-3. Tap Camera.
Your Camera app is now open and ready to use.
2. From the Lock Screen
2-1. Press the power button once to illuminate the lock screen.
This usually displays the current time and date.
This method may not be available on some Android phones and tablets.
2-2. Swipe the camera icon upward.
This should launch the Camera app if it’s available through the lock screen.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. From the App Drawer\\n1-1. Unlock your Android’s screen.\\nThe steps to do this will vary, but you’ll often have to press the Power or Volume button, swipe the screen, and then enter a PIN or pattern.\\n1-2. Tap the app drawer icon.\\nIt’s the icon made of 6 to 9 small dots or squares at the bottom of the home screen. This opens the list of apps on your Android.\\nIf you see the app on the home screen, you don’t have to open the app drawer. Just tap or the icon that looks like a camera.\\n1-3. Tap Camera.\\nYour Camera app is now open and ready to use.\\n2. From the Lock Screen\\n2-1. Press the power button once to illuminate the lock screen.\\nThis usually displays the current time and date.\\nThis method may not be available on some Android phones and tablets.\\n2-2. Swipe the camera icon upward.\\nThis should launch the Camera app if it’s available through the lock screen.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to open the Camera app on your Android phone or tablet.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"From the App Drawer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Unlock your Android’s screen.\", \"描述\": \"The steps to do this will vary, but you’ll often have to press the Power or Volume button, swipe the screen, and then enter a PIN or pattern.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the app drawer icon.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the icon made of 6 to 9 small dots or squares at the bottom of the home screen. This opens the list of apps on your Android.\\nIf you see the app on the home screen, you don’t have to open the app drawer. Just tap or the icon that looks like a camera.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Camera.\", \"描述\": \"Your Camera app is now open and ready to use.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"From the Lock Screen\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Press the power button once to illuminate the lock screen.\", \"描述\": \"This usually displays the current time and date.\\nThis method may not be available on some Android phones and tablets.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Swipe the camera icon upward.\", \"描述\": \"This should launch the Camera app if it’s available through the lock screen.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
172 | How to Access Court Records Electronically | 1. Determining If You Need Federal or State Records
1-1. Understand the United States court system.
In order to understand what type of records you will need to look for, you must first understand how the judicial system is set up in the United States. There is a hierarchy of courts at the state and federal level, with overlaps in certain places.
At the federal level, at the top of the hierarchy is the United States Supreme Court, which is then followed by appellate courts and trial courts. Both appellate courts and trial courts are divided into geographic based jurisdictions. At the appellate level, these jurisdictions are known as “circuits” while federal trial courts are known as “districts. ” There are also several federal courts with jurisdiction over a specific subject matter (e.g., bankruptcy courts and courts of international trade).
Similar to the organization of federal courts, at the top of the state court hierarchy is the state supreme court, which is then followed by the appellate courts and trial courts. Depending on your state, trial courts may be called "circuit courts," "superior courts," or even something else. State appellate courts will often be called "courts of appeal." Be aware of how your state designates its different courts.
At some points in the judicial process, there is a possibility for overlap between the state and federal systems. For example, a case may be heard in front of both a state supreme court and the federal Supreme Court under certain circumstances. Be aware of this when you begin searching for court records.
Look at these websites to learn about the names of all the federal and state courts.
1-2. Assess the documentation you have.
When deciding whether you need to search for state or federal court records, start by analyzing the documents you have in your possession. Different documents will have different information on them, so look for documents with the most identifying information about your case or situation. Typically, documents include information indicating the type of court (i.e., criminal or civil), the location of the court (i.e., federal, state, county, or municipal), and the specific designation of the court (i.e., California District Court of Appeals).
For example, a criminal citation (a written form given to someone by a law enforcement officer in response to an alleged illegal act) will usually have information about the types of charges being brought against a person and will provide you with a court name and location where the person is required to report. By looking at this, you can get an idea of what type of law is involved and what court is going to be hearing the case. This should allow you to decide whether you are in state or federal court.
On the other hand, a document like a complaint (a court filing that states the issues in controversy in a given case) is going to have a cover sheet that includes the title of the exact court in which the complaint was filed. For instance, a complaint's cover sheet may be titled "In the United States District Court for the District of Massachusetts." This gives you all the information you need in order to determine that you are in federal court.
1-3. Determine the subject matter of your issue.
Think about what you are looking for and decide what type of law it involves. This can be helpful because certain legal subjects are either predominantly state law or federal law, depending on the subject. For instance, contract law and family law are generally governed by state laws and not federal laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to look in a state database. On the other hand, bankruptcy law, maritime law, and constitutional law are generally governed by federal laws and not state laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to search in a federal database.
Be aware that these are general rules and they do have their qualifications. There are situations in which federal courts can hear state law issues and state law courts can hear federal law issues.
1-4. Make your decision.
Once you have analyzed the documents you have in your possession, and have determined what the subject matter of your issue is, you should be able to determine if you need to search a federal database or a state database. If you determine that you need to access federal court records electronically, you will use Part 2 of 3 below. If you determine that you need to access state court records electronically, you will use Part 3 of 3 below. If you can not determine what type of court records you will need to access, try looking at both types of databases.
2. Accessing Federal Court Records
2-1. Visit the Public Access to Court Electronic Records website (PACER).
PACER is the federal government website that provides access to court records from the federal district courts, courts of appeals, and bankruptcy courts.
If you want to access United States Supreme Court records, which includes published opinions and oral argument audio files, visit the United States Supreme Court website. There you will be able to easily access all the information you need by clicking on the tabs at the top of the webpage. You will not need to log in or pay any fee to access this information.
2-2. Establish a PACER account.
Once you arrive at the PACER website, you must register and create an account. In order to do so, click on the "Register" button found at the top of the homepage. Follow the directions on the screen and complete your registration.
You will have the ability to create an account that fits your needs and PACER has registration options for attorneys and non-attorneys alike. Following the directions will allow you to customize your account settings as necessary.
While there is no registration fee, there is a fee for every file viewed, downloaded, or printed. If you would like instant access to court documents, you will have to provide your credit card information during registration. However, if you do not provide your credit card information during registration, an activation code will be mailed to you within 7-10 business days.
2-3. Search for documents.
Once you have registered and received your login information, you will have access to the PACER site. You can log in to PACER by going to the main page and clicking the "log in" button at the top right of your screen. Once you have logged in, you can search for a document.
If you know the location of your case, go to the court links page. From there you can select the case that you want.
If you do not know where your case is located, you can search for it using the case locator. When you access the case locator, follow the on-screen prompts to search for a variety of cases and documents. You will be able to search for cases by their case number, case title, date it was filed or date it was closed, party names, or even by the region in which your case was filed in. If you ever need help understanding the search criteria, you can always access the PACER User Manual here.
2-4. Pay the required fee.
Once you have searched for and found the court record(s) you need, you will have to pay the required fee. PACER will charge you $0.10 per page whether you view, download, or print the document. The charges for any single document is capped at $3.00 or 30 pages. Be careful when you are searching on the PACER site because charges can build up quickly. Only search and access the court records you absolutely need.
Fees will be waived if you spend less than $15.00 in a quarter.
3. Accessing State Court Records
3-1. Visit your state's courts website.
Depending on what state your records are from, the process you will follow and the records you will have access to will vary drastically. Start your search by visiting your state's courts website. While there, look through the website for any links to court records and/or court records searches.
For example, Washington's courts website provides a quick link on the right side of their page allowing you to start the records search.
However, some states, such as Alabama, do not provide access to court records through their government websites.
3-2. Search the National Center for State Courts website.
If you cannot find out how to access your state's court records electronically using the other methods discussed above, access the National Center for State Courts] website. Here you will be able to scroll through a number of state links and find out how to access state court electronic court records.
First, scroll down on the webpage and find your state. Second, read through the information provided and click on any applicable link to start searching for court records.
Tips
The National Center for State Courts website is updated relatively often, and is a useful tool.
Not all states maintain electronic court records, and some must be accessed in person by visiting the court or the County Clerk’s office. If you strike difficulties, make a personal visit to the relevant court to ask for additional information and help.
If you have questions about a specific court case that you were involved in, contact your attorney and s/he will likely have additional tools to access records.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining If You Need Federal or State Records\\n1-1. Understand the United States court system.\\nIn order to understand what type of records you will need to look for, you must first understand how the judicial system is set up in the United States. There is a hierarchy of courts at the state and federal level, with overlaps in certain places.\\nAt the federal level, at the top of the hierarchy is the United States Supreme Court, which is then followed by appellate courts and trial courts. Both appellate courts and trial courts are divided into geographic based jurisdictions. At the appellate level, these jurisdictions are known as “circuits” while federal trial courts are known as “districts. ” There are also several federal courts with jurisdiction over a specific subject matter (e.g., bankruptcy courts and courts of international trade).\\nSimilar to the organization of federal courts, at the top of the state court hierarchy is the state supreme court, which is then followed by the appellate courts and trial courts. Depending on your state, trial courts may be called \\\"circuit courts,\\\" \\\"superior courts,\\\" or even something else. State appellate courts will often be called \\\"courts of appeal.\\\" Be aware of how your state designates its different courts.\\nAt some points in the judicial process, there is a possibility for overlap between the state and federal systems. For example, a case may be heard in front of both a state supreme court and the federal Supreme Court under certain circumstances. Be aware of this when you begin searching for court records.\\nLook at these websites to learn about the names of all the federal and state courts.\\n1-2. Assess the documentation you have.\\nWhen deciding whether you need to search for state or federal court records, start by analyzing the documents you have in your possession. Different documents will have different information on them, so look for documents with the most identifying information about your case or situation. Typically, documents include information indicating the type of court (i.e., criminal or civil), the location of the court (i.e., federal, state, county, or municipal), and the specific designation of the court (i.e., California District Court of Appeals).\\nFor example, a criminal citation (a written form given to someone by a law enforcement officer in response to an alleged illegal act) will usually have information about the types of charges being brought against a person and will provide you with a court name and location where the person is required to report. By looking at this, you can get an idea of what type of law is involved and what court is going to be hearing the case. This should allow you to decide whether you are in state or federal court.\\nOn the other hand, a document like a complaint (a court filing that states the issues in controversy in a given case) is going to have a cover sheet that includes the title of the exact court in which the complaint was filed. For instance, a complaint's cover sheet may be titled \\\"In the United States District Court for the District of Massachusetts.\\\" This gives you all the information you need in order to determine that you are in federal court.\\n1-3. Determine the subject matter of your issue.\\nThink about what you are looking for and decide what type of law it involves. This can be helpful because certain legal subjects are either predominantly state law or federal law, depending on the subject. For instance, contract law and family law are generally governed by state laws and not federal laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to look in a state database. On the other hand, bankruptcy law, maritime law, and constitutional law are generally governed by federal laws and not state laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to search in a federal database.\\nBe aware that these are general rules and they do have their qualifications. There are situations in which federal courts can hear state law issues and state law courts can hear federal law issues.\\n1-4. Make your decision.\\nOnce you have analyzed the documents you have in your possession, and have determined what the subject matter of your issue is, you should be able to determine if you need to search a federal database or a state database. If you determine that you need to access federal court records electronically, you will use Part 2 of 3 below. If you determine that you need to access state court records electronically, you will use Part 3 of 3 below. If you can not determine what type of court records you will need to access, try looking at both types of databases.\\n2. Accessing Federal Court Records\\n2-1. Visit the Public Access to Court Electronic Records website (PACER).\\nPACER is the federal government website that provides access to court records from the federal district courts, courts of appeals, and bankruptcy courts.\\nIf you want to access United States Supreme Court records, which includes published opinions and oral argument audio files, visit the United States Supreme Court website. There you will be able to easily access all the information you need by clicking on the tabs at the top of the webpage. You will not need to log in or pay any fee to access this information.\\n2-2. Establish a PACER account.\\nOnce you arrive at the PACER website, you must register and create an account. In order to do so, click on the \\\"Register\\\" button found at the top of the homepage. Follow the directions on the screen and complete your registration.\\nYou will have the ability to create an account that fits your needs and PACER has registration options for attorneys and non-attorneys alike. Following the directions will allow you to customize your account settings as necessary.\\nWhile there is no registration fee, there is a fee for every file viewed, downloaded, or printed. If you would like instant access to court documents, you will have to provide your credit card information during registration. However, if you do not provide your credit card information during registration, an activation code will be mailed to you within 7-10 business days.\\n2-3. Search for documents.\\nOnce you have registered and received your login information, you will have access to the PACER site. You can log in to PACER by going to the main page and clicking the \\\"log in\\\" button at the top right of your screen. Once you have logged in, you can search for a document.\\nIf you know the location of your case, go to the court links page. From there you can select the case that you want.\\nIf you do not know where your case is located, you can search for it using the case locator. When you access the case locator, follow the on-screen prompts to search for a variety of cases and documents. You will be able to search for cases by their case number, case title, date it was filed or date it was closed, party names, or even by the region in which your case was filed in. If you ever need help understanding the search criteria, you can always access the PACER User Manual here.\\n2-4. Pay the required fee.\\nOnce you have searched for and found the court record(s) you need, you will have to pay the required fee. PACER will charge you $0.10 per page whether you view, download, or print the document. The charges for any single document is capped at $3.00 or 30 pages. Be careful when you are searching on the PACER site because charges can build up quickly. Only search and access the court records you absolutely need.\\nFees will be waived if you spend less than $15.00 in a quarter.\\n3. Accessing State Court Records\\n3-1. Visit your state's courts website.\\nDepending on what state your records are from, the process you will follow and the records you will have access to will vary drastically. Start your search by visiting your state's courts website. While there, look through the website for any links to court records and/or court records searches.\\nFor example, Washington's courts website provides a quick link on the right side of their page allowing you to start the records search.\\nHowever, some states, such as Alabama, do not provide access to court records through their government websites.\\n3-2. Search the National Center for State Courts website.\\nIf you cannot find out how to access your state's court records electronically using the other methods discussed above, access the National Center for State Courts] website. Here you will be able to scroll through a number of state links and find out how to access state court electronic court records.\\nFirst, scroll down on the webpage and find your state. Second, read through the information provided and click on any applicable link to start searching for court records.\\nTips\\nThe National Center for State Courts website is updated relatively often, and is a useful tool.\\nNot all states maintain electronic court records, and some must be accessed in person by visiting the court or the County Clerk’s office. If you strike difficulties, make a personal visit to the relevant court to ask for additional information and help.\\nIf you have questions about a specific court case that you were involved in, contact your attorney and s/he will likely have additional tools to access records.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many courts provide access to their records electronically, allowing you to access certain records via the internet from the comfort of your own home or office. However, electronic access to court records is inconsistent throughout the United States and some courts do not provide online access to records, and some maintain only basic information about a particular court case such as the case name, case number, and type of court. Nonetheless, if you need electronic access to court records, follow the steps below to learn about your options.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining If You Need Federal or State Records\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand the United States court system.\", \"描述\": \"In order to understand what type of records you will need to look for, you must first understand how the judicial system is set up in the United States. There is a hierarchy of courts at the state and federal level, with overlaps in certain places.\\nAt the federal level, at the top of the hierarchy is the United States Supreme Court, which is then followed by appellate courts and trial courts. Both appellate courts and trial courts are divided into geographic based jurisdictions. At the appellate level, these jurisdictions are known as “circuits” while federal trial courts are known as “districts. ” There are also several federal courts with jurisdiction over a specific subject matter (e.g., bankruptcy courts and courts of international trade).\\nSimilar to the organization of federal courts, at the top of the state court hierarchy is the state supreme court, which is then followed by the appellate courts and trial courts. Depending on your state, trial courts may be called \\\"circuit courts,\\\" \\\"superior courts,\\\" or even something else. State appellate courts will often be called \\\"courts of appeal.\\\" Be aware of how your state designates its different courts.\\nAt some points in the judicial process, there is a possibility for overlap between the state and federal systems. For example, a case may be heard in front of both a state supreme court and the federal Supreme Court under certain circumstances. Be aware of this when you begin searching for court records.\\nLook at these websites to learn about the names of all the federal and state courts.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess the documentation you have.\", \"描述\": \"When deciding whether you need to search for state or federal court records, start by analyzing the documents you have in your possession. Different documents will have different information on them, so look for documents with the most identifying information about your case or situation. Typically, documents include information indicating the type of court (i.e., criminal or civil), the location of the court (i.e., federal, state, county, or municipal), and the specific designation of the court (i.e., California District Court of Appeals).\\nFor example, a criminal citation (a written form given to someone by a law enforcement officer in response to an alleged illegal act) will usually have information about the types of charges being brought against a person and will provide you with a court name and location where the person is required to report. By looking at this, you can get an idea of what type of law is involved and what court is going to be hearing the case. This should allow you to decide whether you are in state or federal court.\\nOn the other hand, a document like a complaint (a court filing that states the issues in controversy in a given case) is going to have a cover sheet that includes the title of the exact court in which the complaint was filed. For instance, a complaint's cover sheet may be titled \\\"In the United States District Court for the District of Massachusetts.\\\" This gives you all the information you need in order to determine that you are in federal court.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the subject matter of your issue.\", \"描述\": \"Think about what you are looking for and decide what type of law it involves. This can be helpful because certain legal subjects are either predominantly state law or federal law, depending on the subject. For instance, contract law and family law are generally governed by state laws and not federal laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to look in a state database. On the other hand, bankruptcy law, maritime law, and constitutional law are generally governed by federal laws and not state laws. If your research topic deals with one of these subjects, you will likely want to search in a federal database.\\nBe aware that these are general rules and they do have their qualifications. There are situations in which federal courts can hear state law issues and state law courts can hear federal law issues.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your decision.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have analyzed the documents you have in your possession, and have determined what the subject matter of your issue is, you should be able to determine if you need to search a federal database or a state database. If you determine that you need to access federal court records electronically, you will use Part 2 of 3 below. If you determine that you need to access state court records electronically, you will use Part 3 of 3 below. If you can not determine what type of court records you will need to access, try looking at both types of databases.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accessing Federal Court Records\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visit the Public Access to Court Electronic Records website (PACER).\", \"描述\": \"PACER is the federal government website that provides access to court records from the federal district courts, courts of appeals, and bankruptcy courts.\\nIf you want to access United States Supreme Court records, which includes published opinions and oral argument audio files, visit the United States Supreme Court website. There you will be able to easily access all the information you need by clicking on the tabs at the top of the webpage. You will not need to log in or pay any fee to access this information.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Establish a PACER account.\", \"描述\": \"Once you arrive at the PACER website, you must register and create an account. In order to do so, click on the \\\"Register\\\" button found at the top of the homepage. Follow the directions on the screen and complete your registration.\\nYou will have the ability to create an account that fits your needs and PACER has registration options for attorneys and non-attorneys alike. Following the directions will allow you to customize your account settings as necessary.\\nWhile there is no registration fee, there is a fee for every file viewed, downloaded, or printed. If you would like instant access to court documents, you will have to provide your credit card information during registration. However, if you do not provide your credit card information during registration, an activation code will be mailed to you within 7-10 business days.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for documents.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have registered and received your login information, you will have access to the PACER site. You can log in to PACER by going to the main page and clicking the \\\"log in\\\" button at the top right of your screen. Once you have logged in, you can search for a document.\\nIf you know the location of your case, go to the court links page. From there you can select the case that you want.\\nIf you do not know where your case is located, you can search for it using the case locator. When you access the case locator, follow the on-screen prompts to search for a variety of cases and documents. You will be able to search for cases by their case number, case title, date it was filed or date it was closed, party names, or even by the region in which your case was filed in. If you ever need help understanding the search criteria, you can always access the PACER User Manual here.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay the required fee.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have searched for and found the court record(s) you need, you will have to pay the required fee. PACER will charge you $0.10 per page whether you view, download, or print the document. The charges for any single document is capped at $3.00 or 30 pages. Be careful when you are searching on the PACER site because charges can build up quickly. Only search and access the court records you absolutely need.\\nFees will be waived if you spend less than $15.00 in a quarter.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessing State Court Records\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visit your state's courts website.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on what state your records are from, the process you will follow and the records you will have access to will vary drastically. Start your search by visiting your state's courts website. While there, look through the website for any links to court records and/or court records searches.\\nFor example, Washington's courts website provides a quick link on the right side of their page allowing you to start the records search.\\nHowever, some states, such as Alabama, do not provide access to court records through their government websites.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Search the National Center for State Courts website.\", \"描述\": \"If you cannot find out how to access your state's court records electronically using the other methods discussed above, access the National Center for State Courts] website. Here you will be able to scroll through a number of state links and find out how to access state court electronic court records.\\nFirst, scroll down on the webpage and find your state. Second, read through the information provided and click on any applicable link to start searching for court records.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The National Center for State Courts website is updated relatively often, and is a useful tool.\\n\", \"Not all states maintain electronic court records, and some must be accessed in person by visiting the court or the County Clerk’s office. If you strike difficulties, make a personal visit to the relevant court to ask for additional information and help.\\n\", \"If you have questions about a specific court case that you were involved in, contact your attorney and s/he will likely have additional tools to access records.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
173 | How to Access Criminal Court Records | 1. Requesting Online Records from a State or County Court
1-1. Look in the right place.
Your first impulse might be to look for a criminal record wherever the person you're researching lives. That's a good starting point, but courts file their records where the offense occurred. If you know where a specific crime took place, look for the record in that state or county.
Many states don’t allow you to access juvenile records if they’re sealed.
1-2. Look for a criminal court records database on your state or county court’s website.
While courts have begun going digital, the digital database may only include court records for recent cases. It will depend entirely on the county or state where you are conducting your research. Many courts have converted their paper records to digital, online records. Search your court's website for a database of criminal court records to find out if you can access a digital record.
1-3. Be aware of the different levels of state courts.
A given state might separate their courts into tax courts, superior courts, appellate courts, supreme courts, and so on. You may have search the database specific to the record you're looking for. However, most states combine these records into a single searchable database online.
1-4. Provide the information you need to find your record.
Criminal record databases can be quite large, so have as much information as possible to find the record you need:
The offender's full name. You may know the person by a nickname or by his middle name, but the courts know him by his full legal name. Even then, there may be several "John Smith"s in the database, so have more information if possible.
A business name if a business was involved.
Case number. This is the most reliable way to find a criminal record.
1-5. View the record online.
Once you locate a listing for the criminal record you want, click the link to see the record itself. Note that even if your state or county has digital records, they may still be in the middle of converting their files. The information in the database might be incomplete.
If you don’t see the record you’re looking for, follow up by trying to find a hard copy.
2. Requesting Hard Copies from a Court
2-1. Search the court archives yourself.
Visit the appropriate court (county, state, appellate, supreme, etc.) and ask an employee to show you to the court record archives. The archives might be organized by year, by case type, or by both. Ask the person who directs you to the archives how to find the record you need.
You can view the record for free, but will need to pay a fee if you want to make copies.
Depending on how much space they have, the court may have moved older records to a different location. If so, ask whether you should visit that location or submit a request for the clerk to have the file sent back to the court archives.
2-2. Search the court’s website for information on requesting criminal records.
If you don’t want to search the archives yourself, you can fill out paperwork to have the clerk’s office do the work for you. The process may vary from court to court, so read through the instructions carefully. While some courts will ask you to send your request through the mail, others might ask you to visit the clerk in person.
2-3. Mail your request.
The court’s website might say that you must mail your records request to them. Copy the address carefully to ensure your request reaches the right office. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope so they can mail the record back to you. Make sure it’s big enough to hold the entire document! The website might ask you to download and print off a request form, or just to write a letter asking for a criminal record. Look first for a form, but if you’re writing a letter, include the following information:
The defendant's full, legal name
His or her date of birth
The specific documents you would like to see. For example:
A trial docket (all the materials filed during a trial)
The minutes for a specific court date
The sentencing document
2-4. Deliver your request in person.
If the court doesn’t allow mailed requests, visit the clerk’s office in person. You can either fill out the request form there or deliver your request letter. Bring as much information as possible with you, so you don't have to come back for a second trip with more information.
The benefit of submitting your request in person is that you can ask questions to the person helping you out. Don't be shy! If you have any questions, ask them before you leave the office.
2-5. Pay the fee.
Some courts are now allowing access to digital records, but these records are not free. You will most likely have to pay for downloads. The clerk’s office will likely charge you for every page they have to copy for you. Estimate how many pages the record will be, and include that amount with the request.
If you are mailing your request, search the website for a "fee schedule" that tells you how much it costs to print each page.
If you are submitting your request in person, ask the person at the desk to help you figure out how much you owe.
Some offices only ask you to cover the costs up to a certain amount. They might ask you to write "Not to exceed $10" or "Not to exceed $35" on the check you write.
2-6. Wait to receive your records.
If you provided a self-addressed, stamped envelope, the clerk's office will send you the records in the mail. If not, they will call you to let you know when you can pick the records up in person.
3. Obtaining Records from a Federal Court
3-1. Create an account with the Public Access to Court Electronic Records (PACER) system.
Through this website, you can search for and access federal court records 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Fill out the online registration form. Information with a red asterisk next to it is mandatory, but everything else is optional. You will need to provide the following information:
Your first and last names
Date of birth
Home address, email address, and phone number
Your “user type.” If you are directly involved in a case, mark “Plaintiff, Defendant or Debtor in a Case.” If you are a journalist, mark “Media,” and so on.
3-2. Search PACER by court.
If you know where the case you're looking for was tried, look for the specific court that houses the record. Limiting your search to a single court will make it much easier to find the record you're looking for.
For example, you might search the records for the Middle District of Georgia or the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals.
3-3. Search by case number or party name.
If you don't know the specific court that houses the record, you have to search the entire database of federal courts. This database holds an enormous amount of records, so provide as much information as possible. If the person you're researching has a common name (Jane Smith), searching by case number might be easier and faster.
3-4. Pay the fee.
Though creating a PACER account is free, you do have to pay a small fee to view individual records. The fee is 10 cents per page of a document, up to $3.00.
Even if the document is a thousand pages long, you won't have to pay more than the $3.00 max.
4. Requesting Records from an Attorney
4-1. Know whether you can obtain the records.
Attorneys only share records with their clients. In fact, an attorney who didn't represent you likely cannot ethically give you records related to a case. This is true even if the records are part of the public record.
However, you have the right to see all documents that your attorney prepared for your own case.
4-2. Contact the right attorney.
If you have more than one case in the works, you might be working with different defense attorneys or public defenders. Reach out to the attorney who is working on the specific case you're looking at.
4-3. Be as specific as possible.
Attorneys handle huge amounts of paperwork, and their records can be quite complicated. Tell your lawyer exactly which records you want to see. This will cut down the time the staff will have to spend looking for them.
4-4. Pay any associated fees.
Your attorney will likely charge you for time spent looking for the document either in criminal court records or their own files. They also have to gather and package the files for you. You may have to pay an hourly or flat fee to pay them for their work.
Being as specific as possible will save you money if your attorney charges an hourly fee.
5. Obtaining Records From Other Agencies
5-1. Figure out which agency you need to contact.
Run an online search with the keywords "[Your State"] and "criminal records" to find the right agency. The court record you need might be with the state police, the state courts, or another agency.
5-2. Do not contact third party organizations.
Be on the safe side and get your court records directly from the government. A non-official agency may not be as accurate, and also may charge a fee for a record that the state will provide either cheaper or for free.
Make sure that you're looking at an official website by checking the end of the site's address. It should end in “.gov” instead of “.com.”
5-3. Submit a records request for your own record.
The process for record requests varies from agency to agency. Be sure to follow the official instructions on the correct agency’s website.
Some states will ask you to get your request notarized by a notary public. A notary public is a person who has the license to administer oaths and serve as a witness.
Find a notary public in your area by searching online.
You can usually find one at the bank, and often at UPS stores.
5-4. Fill out a different form to request a record for someone else.
Most agencies have different forms for people looking for their own records and those requesting someone else's. Check with the specific agency to make sure. Keep the following in mind when requesting records for someone else:
You may not be able to access someone's entire criminal history. For example, Oregon's Open Records Unit only provides records for the past year.
The agency might tell the person who committed the crime that someone requested his or her court record.
5-5. Be aware of special considerations if you are an employer.
Records requests are common for people hiring new employees. The Fair Credit Reporting Act regulates a person's consumer report, which includes criminal records. If employers want to hire someone to access these records they do so through a Consumer Credit Reporting Agency or a CRA. If you’re an employer, you may need to register with the state agency before submitting a request.
Know the rules about which types of convictions you're allowed to take into consideration. Many states allow consideration only for crimes related to the job in question.
For example, an accounting firm can refuse to hire a convicted embezzler. However, embezzlement only has a connection to jobs in which the person would be handling money.
5-6. Double-check the instructions before submitting the request.
The instructions can get complicated, and the forms sometimes ask for a large amount of information. This might range from simple contact information and fees to notarizations and fingerprints. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row so your request isn't delayed or rejected.
5-7. Pay the fee and submit your form.
Again, the process for submission might vary from agency to agency, so follow the instructions carefully. Some states might ask you to send them in via postal mail. Others might let you fill out an online request form. You might even have to submit the request in person.
Search the website for the fee amount. Include it with the form if you're mailing your request. Send it separately or pay online if you're submitting the request on a website. Bring a check or money order with you if you submit the form in person.
Tips
Juveniles with criminal court records may not be able to request their own records. These also may not be public records, and will instead be sealed. Talk with a juvenile defender to see about getting a copy of the juvenile’s record.
Countries other than the U.S. have various systems for storing criminal records. In Australia, consult CrimTrac. In Canada, consult Criminal Records Information Management. In the European Union, consult the European Criminal Records Information System (ECRIS).
Warnings
If you think you may have an outstanding warrant for your arrest, address this issue first before attempting to request your criminal court records for prior offenses.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Requesting Online Records from a State or County Court\\n1-1. Look in the right place.\\nYour first impulse might be to look for a criminal record wherever the person you're researching lives. That's a good starting point, but courts file their records where the offense occurred. If you know where a specific crime took place, look for the record in that state or county.\\nMany states don’t allow you to access juvenile records if they’re sealed.\\n1-2. Look for a criminal court records database on your state or county court’s website.\\nWhile courts have begun going digital, the digital database may only include court records for recent cases. It will depend entirely on the county or state where you are conducting your research. Many courts have converted their paper records to digital, online records. Search your court's website for a database of criminal court records to find out if you can access a digital record.\\n1-3. Be aware of the different levels of state courts.\\nA given state might separate their courts into tax courts, superior courts, appellate courts, supreme courts, and so on. You may have search the database specific to the record you're looking for. However, most states combine these records into a single searchable database online.\\n1-4. Provide the information you need to find your record.\\nCriminal record databases can be quite large, so have as much information as possible to find the record you need: \\nThe offender's full name. You may know the person by a nickname or by his middle name, but the courts know him by his full legal name. Even then, there may be several \\\"John Smith\\\"s in the database, so have more information if possible.\\nA business name if a business was involved.\\nCase number. This is the most reliable way to find a criminal record.\\n1-5. View the record online.\\nOnce you locate a listing for the criminal record you want, click the link to see the record itself. Note that even if your state or county has digital records, they may still be in the middle of converting their files. The information in the database might be incomplete.\\nIf you don’t see the record you’re looking for, follow up by trying to find a hard copy.\\n2. Requesting Hard Copies from a Court\\n2-1. Search the court archives yourself.\\nVisit the appropriate court (county, state, appellate, supreme, etc.) and ask an employee to show you to the court record archives. The archives might be organized by year, by case type, or by both. Ask the person who directs you to the archives how to find the record you need. \\nYou can view the record for free, but will need to pay a fee if you want to make copies.\\nDepending on how much space they have, the court may have moved older records to a different location. If so, ask whether you should visit that location or submit a request for the clerk to have the file sent back to the court archives.\\n2-2. Search the court’s website for information on requesting criminal records.\\nIf you don’t want to search the archives yourself, you can fill out paperwork to have the clerk’s office do the work for you. The process may vary from court to court, so read through the instructions carefully. While some courts will ask you to send your request through the mail, others might ask you to visit the clerk in person.\\n2-3. Mail your request.\\nThe court’s website might say that you must mail your records request to them. Copy the address carefully to ensure your request reaches the right office. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope so they can mail the record back to you. Make sure it’s big enough to hold the entire document! The website might ask you to download and print off a request form, or just to write a letter asking for a criminal record. Look first for a form, but if you’re writing a letter, include the following information: \\nThe defendant's full, legal name\\nHis or her date of birth\\nThe specific documents you would like to see. For example:\\nA trial docket (all the materials filed during a trial)\\nThe minutes for a specific court date\\nThe sentencing document\\n2-4. Deliver your request in person.\\nIf the court doesn’t allow mailed requests, visit the clerk’s office in person. You can either fill out the request form there or deliver your request letter. Bring as much information as possible with you, so you don't have to come back for a second trip with more information.\\nThe benefit of submitting your request in person is that you can ask questions to the person helping you out. Don't be shy! If you have any questions, ask them before you leave the office.\\n2-5. Pay the fee.\\nSome courts are now allowing access to digital records, but these records are not free. You will most likely have to pay for downloads. The clerk’s office will likely charge you for every page they have to copy for you. Estimate how many pages the record will be, and include that amount with the request.\\nIf you are mailing your request, search the website for a \\\"fee schedule\\\" that tells you how much it costs to print each page.\\nIf you are submitting your request in person, ask the person at the desk to help you figure out how much you owe.\\nSome offices only ask you to cover the costs up to a certain amount. They might ask you to write \\\"Not to exceed $10\\\" or \\\"Not to exceed $35\\\" on the check you write.\\n2-6. Wait to receive your records.\\nIf you provided a self-addressed, stamped envelope, the clerk's office will send you the records in the mail. If not, they will call you to let you know when you can pick the records up in person.\\n3. Obtaining Records from a Federal Court\\n3-1. Create an account with the Public Access to Court Electronic Records (PACER) system.\\nThrough this website, you can search for and access federal court records 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Fill out the online registration form. Information with a red asterisk next to it is mandatory, but everything else is optional. You will need to provide the following information:\\nYour first and last names\\nDate of birth\\nHome address, email address, and phone number\\nYour “user type.” If you are directly involved in a case, mark “Plaintiff, Defendant or Debtor in a Case.” If you are a journalist, mark “Media,” and so on.\\n3-2. Search PACER by court.\\nIf you know where the case you're looking for was tried, look for the specific court that houses the record. Limiting your search to a single court will make it much easier to find the record you're looking for.\\nFor example, you might search the records for the Middle District of Georgia or the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals.\\n3-3. Search by case number or party name.\\nIf you don't know the specific court that houses the record, you have to search the entire database of federal courts. This database holds an enormous amount of records, so provide as much information as possible. If the person you're researching has a common name (Jane Smith), searching by case number might be easier and faster.\\n3-4. Pay the fee.\\nThough creating a PACER account is free, you do have to pay a small fee to view individual records. The fee is 10 cents per page of a document, up to $3.00.\\nEven if the document is a thousand pages long, you won't have to pay more than the $3.00 max.\\n4. Requesting Records from an Attorney\\n4-1. Know whether you can obtain the records.\\nAttorneys only share records with their clients. In fact, an attorney who didn't represent you likely cannot ethically give you records related to a case. This is true even if the records are part of the public record. \\nHowever, you have the right to see all documents that your attorney prepared for your own case.\\n4-2. Contact the right attorney.\\nIf you have more than one case in the works, you might be working with different defense attorneys or public defenders. Reach out to the attorney who is working on the specific case you're looking at.\\n4-3. Be as specific as possible.\\nAttorneys handle huge amounts of paperwork, and their records can be quite complicated. Tell your lawyer exactly which records you want to see. This will cut down the time the staff will have to spend looking for them.\\n4-4. Pay any associated fees.\\nYour attorney will likely charge you for time spent looking for the document either in criminal court records or their own files. They also have to gather and package the files for you. You may have to pay an hourly or flat fee to pay them for their work.\\nBeing as specific as possible will save you money if your attorney charges an hourly fee.\\n5. Obtaining Records From Other Agencies\\n5-1. Figure out which agency you need to contact.\\nRun an online search with the keywords \\\"[Your State\\\"] and \\\"criminal records\\\" to find the right agency. The court record you need might be with the state police, the state courts, or another agency.\\n5-2. Do not contact third party organizations.\\nBe on the safe side and get your court records directly from the government. A non-official agency may not be as accurate, and also may charge a fee for a record that the state will provide either cheaper or for free.\\nMake sure that you're looking at an official website by checking the end of the site's address. It should end in “.gov” instead of “.com.”\\n5-3. Submit a records request for your own record.\\nThe process for record requests varies from agency to agency. Be sure to follow the official instructions on the correct agency’s website.\\nSome states will ask you to get your request notarized by a notary public. A notary public is a person who has the license to administer oaths and serve as a witness.\\nFind a notary public in your area by searching online.\\nYou can usually find one at the bank, and often at UPS stores.\\n5-4. Fill out a different form to request a record for someone else.\\nMost agencies have different forms for people looking for their own records and those requesting someone else's. Check with the specific agency to make sure. Keep the following in mind when requesting records for someone else:\\nYou may not be able to access someone's entire criminal history. For example, Oregon's Open Records Unit only provides records for the past year.\\nThe agency might tell the person who committed the crime that someone requested his or her court record.\\n5-5. Be aware of special considerations if you are an employer.\\nRecords requests are common for people hiring new employees. The Fair Credit Reporting Act regulates a person's consumer report, which includes criminal records. If employers want to hire someone to access these records they do so through a Consumer Credit Reporting Agency or a CRA. If you’re an employer, you may need to register with the state agency before submitting a request.\\nKnow the rules about which types of convictions you're allowed to take into consideration. Many states allow consideration only for crimes related to the job in question.\\nFor example, an accounting firm can refuse to hire a convicted embezzler. However, embezzlement only has a connection to jobs in which the person would be handling money.\\n5-6. Double-check the instructions before submitting the request.\\nThe instructions can get complicated, and the forms sometimes ask for a large amount of information. This might range from simple contact information and fees to notarizations and fingerprints. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row so your request isn't delayed or rejected.\\n5-7. Pay the fee and submit your form.\\nAgain, the process for submission might vary from agency to agency, so follow the instructions carefully. Some states might ask you to send them in via postal mail. Others might let you fill out an online request form. You might even have to submit the request in person.\\nSearch the website for the fee amount. Include it with the form if you're mailing your request. Send it separately or pay online if you're submitting the request on a website. Bring a check or money order with you if you submit the form in person.\\nTips\\nJuveniles with criminal court records may not be able to request their own records. These also may not be public records, and will instead be sealed. Talk with a juvenile defender to see about getting a copy of the juvenile’s record.\\nCountries other than the U.S. have various systems for storing criminal records. In Australia, consult CrimTrac. In Canada, consult Criminal Records Information Management. In the European Union, consult the European Criminal Records Information System (ECRIS).\\nWarnings\\nIf you think you may have an outstanding warrant for your arrest, address this issue first before attempting to request your criminal court records for prior offenses.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Most criminal court records are part of the public record, so you can request them from local, state, or national agencies. Note that in many states (eg California), regular citizens can't request someone’s entire criminal record. The records for individual misdemeanor, violation, and felony convictions, though, are public. Criminal court records for one person can span jurisdictions, so you may have to search many agencies for a full record.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Requesting Online Records from a State or County Court\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look in the right place.\", \"描述\": \"Your first impulse might be to look for a criminal record wherever the person you're researching lives. That's a good starting point, but courts file their records where the offense occurred. If you know where a specific crime took place, look for the record in that state or county.\\nMany states don’t allow you to access juvenile records if they’re sealed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for a criminal court records database on your state or county court’s website.\", \"描述\": \"While courts have begun going digital, the digital database may only include court records for recent cases. It will depend entirely on the county or state where you are conducting your research. Many courts have converted their paper records to digital, online records. Search your court's website for a database of criminal court records to find out if you can access a digital record.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be aware of the different levels of state courts.\", \"描述\": \"A given state might separate their courts into tax courts, superior courts, appellate courts, supreme courts, and so on. You may have search the database specific to the record you're looking for. However, most states combine these records into a single searchable database online.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide the information you need to find your record.\", \"描述\": \"Criminal record databases can be quite large, so have as much information as possible to find the record you need: \\nThe offender's full name. You may know the person by a nickname or by his middle name, but the courts know him by his full legal name. Even then, there may be several \\\"John Smith\\\"s in the database, so have more information if possible.\\nA business name if a business was involved.\\nCase number. This is the most reliable way to find a criminal record.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"View the record online.\", \"描述\": \"Once you locate a listing for the criminal record you want, click the link to see the record itself. Note that even if your state or county has digital records, they may still be in the middle of converting their files. The information in the database might be incomplete.\\nIf you don’t see the record you’re looking for, follow up by trying to find a hard copy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Requesting Hard Copies from a Court\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Search the court archives yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Visit the appropriate court (county, state, appellate, supreme, etc.) and ask an employee to show you to the court record archives. The archives might be organized by year, by case type, or by both. Ask the person who directs you to the archives how to find the record you need. \\nYou can view the record for free, but will need to pay a fee if you want to make copies.\\nDepending on how much space they have, the court may have moved older records to a different location. If so, ask whether you should visit that location or submit a request for the clerk to have the file sent back to the court archives.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Search the court’s website for information on requesting criminal records.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t want to search the archives yourself, you can fill out paperwork to have the clerk’s office do the work for you. The process may vary from court to court, so read through the instructions carefully. While some courts will ask you to send your request through the mail, others might ask you to visit the clerk in person.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Mail your request.\", \"描述\": \"The court’s website might say that you must mail your records request to them. Copy the address carefully to ensure your request reaches the right office. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope so they can mail the record back to you. Make sure it’s big enough to hold the entire document! The website might ask you to download and print off a request form, or just to write a letter asking for a criminal record. Look first for a form, but if you’re writing a letter, include the following information: \\nThe defendant's full, legal name\\nHis or her date of birth\\nThe specific documents you would like to see. For example:\\nA trial docket (all the materials filed during a trial)\\nThe minutes for a specific court date\\nThe sentencing document\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Deliver your request in person.\", \"描述\": \"If the court doesn’t allow mailed requests, visit the clerk’s office in person. You can either fill out the request form there or deliver your request letter. Bring as much information as possible with you, so you don't have to come back for a second trip with more information.\\nThe benefit of submitting your request in person is that you can ask questions to the person helping you out. Don't be shy! If you have any questions, ask them before you leave the office.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pay the fee.\", \"描述\": \"Some courts are now allowing access to digital records, but these records are not free. You will most likely have to pay for downloads. The clerk’s office will likely charge you for every page they have to copy for you. Estimate how many pages the record will be, and include that amount with the request.\\nIf you are mailing your request, search the website for a \\\"fee schedule\\\" that tells you how much it costs to print each page.\\nIf you are submitting your request in person, ask the person at the desk to help you figure out how much you owe.\\nSome offices only ask you to cover the costs up to a certain amount. They might ask you to write \\\"Not to exceed $10\\\" or \\\"Not to exceed $35\\\" on the check you write.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wait to receive your records.\", \"描述\": \"If you provided a self-addressed, stamped envelope, the clerk's office will send you the records in the mail. If not, they will call you to let you know when you can pick the records up in person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Obtaining Records from a Federal Court\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Create an account with the Public Access to Court Electronic Records (PACER) system.\", \"描述\": \"Through this website, you can search for and access federal court records 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Fill out the online registration form. Information with a red asterisk next to it is mandatory, but everything else is optional. You will need to provide the following information:\\nYour first and last names\\nDate of birth\\nHome address, email address, and phone number\\nYour “user type.” If you are directly involved in a case, mark “Plaintiff, Defendant or Debtor in a Case.” If you are a journalist, mark “Media,” and so on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Search PACER by court.\", \"描述\": \"If you know where the case you're looking for was tried, look for the specific court that houses the record. Limiting your search to a single court will make it much easier to find the record you're looking for.\\nFor example, you might search the records for the Middle District of Georgia or the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search by case number or party name.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't know the specific court that houses the record, you have to search the entire database of federal courts. This database holds an enormous amount of records, so provide as much information as possible. If the person you're researching has a common name (Jane Smith), searching by case number might be easier and faster.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay the fee.\", \"描述\": \"Though creating a PACER account is free, you do have to pay a small fee to view individual records. The fee is 10 cents per page of a document, up to $3.00.\\nEven if the document is a thousand pages long, you won't have to pay more than the $3.00 max.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Requesting Records from an Attorney\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know whether you can obtain the records.\", \"描述\": \"Attorneys only share records with their clients. In fact, an attorney who didn't represent you likely cannot ethically give you records related to a case. This is true even if the records are part of the public record. \\nHowever, you have the right to see all documents that your attorney prepared for your own case.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Contact the right attorney.\", \"描述\": \"If you have more than one case in the works, you might be working with different defense attorneys or public defenders. Reach out to the attorney who is working on the specific case you're looking at.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be as specific as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Attorneys handle huge amounts of paperwork, and their records can be quite complicated. Tell your lawyer exactly which records you want to see. This will cut down the time the staff will have to spend looking for them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay any associated fees.\", \"描述\": \"Your attorney will likely charge you for time spent looking for the document either in criminal court records or their own files. They also have to gather and package the files for you. You may have to pay an hourly or flat fee to pay them for their work.\\nBeing as specific as possible will save you money if your attorney charges an hourly fee.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Obtaining Records From Other Agencies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out which agency you need to contact.\", \"描述\": \"Run an online search with the keywords \\\"[Your State\\\"] and \\\"criminal records\\\" to find the right agency. The court record you need might be with the state police, the state courts, or another agency.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not contact third party organizations.\", \"描述\": \"Be on the safe side and get your court records directly from the government. A non-official agency may not be as accurate, and also may charge a fee for a record that the state will provide either cheaper or for free.\\nMake sure that you're looking at an official website by checking the end of the site's address. It should end in “.gov” instead of “.com.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Submit a records request for your own record.\", \"描述\": \"The process for record requests varies from agency to agency. Be sure to follow the official instructions on the correct agency’s website.\\nSome states will ask you to get your request notarized by a notary public. A notary public is a person who has the license to administer oaths and serve as a witness.\\nFind a notary public in your area by searching online.\\nYou can usually find one at the bank, and often at UPS stores.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Fill out a different form to request a record for someone else.\", \"描述\": \"Most agencies have different forms for people looking for their own records and those requesting someone else's. Check with the specific agency to make sure. Keep the following in mind when requesting records for someone else:\\nYou may not be able to access someone's entire criminal history. For example, Oregon's Open Records Unit only provides records for the past year.\\nThe agency might tell the person who committed the crime that someone requested his or her court record.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be aware of special considerations if you are an employer.\", \"描述\": \"Records requests are common for people hiring new employees. The Fair Credit Reporting Act regulates a person's consumer report, which includes criminal records. If employers want to hire someone to access these records they do so through a Consumer Credit Reporting Agency or a CRA. If you’re an employer, you may need to register with the state agency before submitting a request.\\nKnow the rules about which types of convictions you're allowed to take into consideration. Many states allow consideration only for crimes related to the job in question.\\nFor example, an accounting firm can refuse to hire a convicted embezzler. However, embezzlement only has a connection to jobs in which the person would be handling money.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Double-check the instructions before submitting the request.\", \"描述\": \"The instructions can get complicated, and the forms sometimes ask for a large amount of information. This might range from simple contact information and fees to notarizations and fingerprints. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row so your request isn't delayed or rejected.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pay the fee and submit your form.\", \"描述\": \"Again, the process for submission might vary from agency to agency, so follow the instructions carefully. Some states might ask you to send them in via postal mail. Others might let you fill out an online request form. You might even have to submit the request in person.\\nSearch the website for the fee amount. Include it with the form if you're mailing your request. Send it separately or pay online if you're submitting the request on a website. Bring a check or money order with you if you submit the form in person.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Juveniles with criminal court records may not be able to request their own records. These also may not be public records, and will instead be sealed. Talk with a juvenile defender to see about getting a copy of the juvenile’s record.\\n\", \"Countries other than the U.S. have various systems for storing criminal records. In Australia, consult CrimTrac. In Canada, consult Criminal Records Information Management. In the European Union, consult the European Criminal Records Information System (ECRIS).\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you think you may have an outstanding warrant for your arrest, address this issue first before attempting to request your criminal court records for prior offenses.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
174 | How to Access DIRECTV Apps | 1. Accessing DIRECTV Apps on Your TV
1-1. Make sure your equipment meets the minimum requirements to access apps for DIRECTV.
Here is a list of compatible receivers:
Genie (HR34 and later, C31 and later)
DIRECTV HD DVR receiver (HR 21 and later)
DIRECTV HD Receiver (H21 and later)
1-2. Launch the DIRECTV apps menu.
Point your remote at the television and press the Right arrow.
1-3. Select an app to launch.
Use the up and down arrow keys to move around the app screen. Press Select on your remote to open the app of your choice.
2. Accessing the DIRECTV Phone App
2-1. Make sure your phone meets the minimum operating system requirements to use the DIRECTV app.
Apple iOS 8.0 and later
Android OS 4.2 and later
2-2. Install the free DIRECTV phone app.
The app can found on both Google Play and the Apple App Store.
2-3. Launch the DIRECTV app.
Sign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.
2-4. Configure your phone to work with your DIRECTV at home.
Open the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.
2-5. Set up your phone to watch live TV.
Once you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched anywhere you have Internet access. All other options can only be watched on your TV.
Select “on iPhone/Android” to watch TV on your phone.
Select “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.
3. Accessing the DIRECTV Tablet App
3-1. Make sure your tablet is running a version of its operating system that is compatible with the DIRECTV app.
Apple iOS 8.0 and above
Android OS 4.2 and above
Kindle OS 4.2
3-2. Install the free DIRECTV tablet app.
The app can found on Google Play, the Apple App Store and the Amazon Appstore.
3-3. Launch the DIRECTV app.
Sign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.
3-4. Configure your tablet to work with your DIRECTV at home.
Open the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.
3-5. Set up your tablet to watch live TV.
Once you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched on the Internet from anywhere. All other options can only be watched on your TV.
Select “Watch on Tablet” or “Watch on iPad” to watch TV.
Select “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.
4. Accessing the DIRECTV iPhone App from your Apple Watch
4-1. Make sure you have a receiver and phone compatible with the Apple Watch.
The Apple Watch works with the following DIRECTV models: HR44, HR 34, HR20, HR 21, HR22, HR23, HR24, H21, H22, H23, H24, H25. Check with DIRECTV for the most up-to-date list.
4-2. If you haven’t already, install the DIRECTV app on your iPhone.
The app is available for free on the App Store.
4-3. Log in to the DIRECTV app.
Open the DIRECTV app on your iPhone and log in with your DIRECTV username and password.
4-4. Open the Apple Watch app on the iPhone that paired with your Apple Watch.
If you haven’t yet paired your watch and phone, visit Pair Your Apple Watch with an iPhone for a brief tutorial.
4-5. Find the DIRECTV app.
Scroll through the app list until you see DIRECTV. Select it, and then choose “Show App on Apple Watch.”
4-6. Open the DIRECTV app on your Apple Watch.
As long as your watch is connected to the same network as your DIRECTV, you can browse for TV shows, use your watch as a remote control, and control your DVR.
Tips
You can use your mobile app to control your DVR if you have one of the following devices: Tivo Series 2 with 6.4a software, R15 and later, or HR20 and later. Just select the show you want to record and tap “Record.” You can even do this with your Apple Watch. [7]
X
Research source
You can watch any stream enabled channel while you’re on your home network, but only some channels will be available when you’re elsewhere.
Warnings
Remember that watching streaming content on your mobile network can quickly eat up your data. Data charges for your wireless carrier apply.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing DIRECTV Apps on Your TV\\n1-1. Make sure your equipment meets the minimum requirements to access apps for DIRECTV.\\nHere is a list of compatible receivers:\\nGenie (HR34 and later, C31 and later)\\nDIRECTV HD DVR receiver (HR 21 and later)\\nDIRECTV HD Receiver (H21 and later)\\n1-2. Launch the DIRECTV apps menu.\\nPoint your remote at the television and press the Right arrow.\\n1-3. Select an app to launch.\\nUse the up and down arrow keys to move around the app screen. Press Select on your remote to open the app of your choice.\\n2. Accessing the DIRECTV Phone App\\n2-1. Make sure your phone meets the minimum operating system requirements to use the DIRECTV app.\\nApple iOS 8.0 and later\\nAndroid OS 4.2 and later\\n2-2. Install the free DIRECTV phone app.\\nThe app can found on both Google Play and the Apple App Store.\\n2-3. Launch the DIRECTV app.\\nSign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.\\n2-4. Configure your phone to work with your DIRECTV at home.\\nOpen the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.\\n2-5. Set up your phone to watch live TV.\\nOnce you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched anywhere you have Internet access. All other options can only be watched on your TV.\\nSelect “on iPhone/Android” to watch TV on your phone.\\nSelect “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.\\n3. Accessing the DIRECTV Tablet App\\n3-1. Make sure your tablet is running a version of its operating system that is compatible with the DIRECTV app.\\nApple iOS 8.0 and above\\nAndroid OS 4.2 and above\\nKindle OS 4.2\\n3-2. Install the free DIRECTV tablet app.\\nThe app can found on Google Play, the Apple App Store and the Amazon Appstore.\\n3-3. Launch the DIRECTV app.\\nSign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.\\n3-4. Configure your tablet to work with your DIRECTV at home.\\nOpen the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.\\n3-5. Set up your tablet to watch live TV.\\nOnce you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched on the Internet from anywhere. All other options can only be watched on your TV.\\nSelect “Watch on Tablet” or “Watch on iPad” to watch TV. \\nSelect “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.\\n4. Accessing the DIRECTV iPhone App from your Apple Watch\\n4-1. Make sure you have a receiver and phone compatible with the Apple Watch.\\nThe Apple Watch works with the following DIRECTV models: HR44, HR 34, HR20, HR 21, HR22, HR23, HR24, H21, H22, H23, H24, H25. Check with DIRECTV for the most up-to-date list.\\n4-2. If you haven’t already, install the DIRECTV app on your iPhone.\\nThe app is available for free on the App Store.\\n4-3. Log in to the DIRECTV app.\\nOpen the DIRECTV app on your iPhone and log in with your DIRECTV username and password.\\n4-4. Open the Apple Watch app on the iPhone that paired with your Apple Watch.\\nIf you haven’t yet paired your watch and phone, visit Pair Your Apple Watch with an iPhone for a brief tutorial.\\n4-5. Find the DIRECTV app.\\nScroll through the app list until you see DIRECTV. Select it, and then choose “Show App on Apple Watch.”\\n4-6. Open the DIRECTV app on your Apple Watch.\\nAs long as your watch is connected to the same network as your DIRECTV, you can browse for TV shows, use your watch as a remote control, and control your DVR.\\nTips\\nYou can use your mobile app to control your DVR if you have one of the following devices: Tivo Series 2 with 6.4a software, R15 and later, or HR20 and later. Just select the show you want to record and tap “Record.” You can even do this with your Apple Watch. [7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nYou can watch any stream enabled channel while you’re on your home network, but only some channels will be available when you’re elsewhere.\\nWarnings\\nRemember that watching streaming content on your mobile network can quickly eat up your data. Data charges for your wireless carrier apply.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"DIRECTV customers can access TV apps to view program guides, keep up with sports scores, and stay on top of local weather reports as well as apps for mobile devices that control televisions and stream live shows over the Internet. This wikiHow article will teach you how to access DIRECTV apps on your TV, phone, tablet, and Apple Watch.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing DIRECTV Apps on Your TV\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your equipment meets the minimum requirements to access apps for DIRECTV.\", \"描述\": \"Here is a list of compatible receivers:\\nGenie (HR34 and later, C31 and later)\\nDIRECTV HD DVR receiver (HR 21 and later)\\nDIRECTV HD Receiver (H21 and later)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Launch the DIRECTV apps menu.\", \"描述\": \"Point your remote at the television and press the Right arrow.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select an app to launch.\", \"描述\": \"Use the up and down arrow keys to move around the app screen. Press Select on your remote to open the app of your choice.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Accessing the DIRECTV Phone App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your phone meets the minimum operating system requirements to use the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Apple iOS 8.0 and later\\nAndroid OS 4.2 and later\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Install the free DIRECTV phone app.\", \"描述\": \"The app can found on both Google Play and the Apple App Store.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Launch the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Sign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Configure your phone to work with your DIRECTV at home.\", \"描述\": \"Open the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set up your phone to watch live TV.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched anywhere you have Internet access. All other options can only be watched on your TV.\\nSelect “on iPhone/Android” to watch TV on your phone.\\nSelect “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accessing the DIRECTV Tablet App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure your tablet is running a version of its operating system that is compatible with the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Apple iOS 8.0 and above\\nAndroid OS 4.2 and above\\nKindle OS 4.2\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Install the free DIRECTV tablet app.\", \"描述\": \"The app can found on Google Play, the Apple App Store and the Amazon Appstore.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Launch the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Sign in with your DIRECTV account information. If you don’t have a DIRECTV account, create one at directv.com.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Configure your tablet to work with your DIRECTV at home.\", \"描述\": \"Open the app and tap “Browse for TV.” Select “Receiver” and choose the model you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Set up your tablet to watch live TV.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve selected your receiver, return to the main menu and tap “Guide.” Shows that have a Streaming+ icon can be watched on the Internet from anywhere. All other options can only be watched on your TV.\\nSelect “Watch on Tablet” or “Watch on iPad” to watch TV. \\nSelect “on TV” if you want to use your phone to find something to watch on your TV.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accessing the DIRECTV iPhone App from your Apple Watch\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have a receiver and phone compatible with the Apple Watch.\", \"描述\": \"The Apple Watch works with the following DIRECTV models: HR44, HR 34, HR20, HR 21, HR22, HR23, HR24, H21, H22, H23, H24, H25. Check with DIRECTV for the most up-to-date list.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If you haven’t already, install the DIRECTV app on your iPhone.\", \"描述\": \"The app is available for free on the App Store.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Log in to the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Open the DIRECTV app on your iPhone and log in with your DIRECTV username and password.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Open the Apple Watch app on the iPhone that paired with your Apple Watch.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t yet paired your watch and phone, visit Pair Your Apple Watch with an iPhone for a brief tutorial.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Find the DIRECTV app.\", \"描述\": \"Scroll through the app list until you see DIRECTV. Select it, and then choose “Show App on Apple Watch.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Open the DIRECTV app on your Apple Watch.\", \"描述\": \"As long as your watch is connected to the same network as your DIRECTV, you can browse for TV shows, use your watch as a remote control, and control your DVR.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can use your mobile app to control your DVR if you have one of the following devices: Tivo Series 2 with 6.4a software, R15 and later, or HR20 and later. Just select the show you want to record and tap “Record.” You can even do this with your Apple Watch. [7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"You can watch any stream enabled channel while you’re on your home network, but only some channels will be available when you’re elsewhere.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Remember that watching streaming content on your mobile network can quickly eat up your data. Data charges for your wireless carrier apply.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
175 | How to Find, Edit, and Save Drafts in TikTok | 1. How to Save Drafts on TikTok
1-1. Record and edit your TikTok video.
If you want to save your edits on a TikTok video without posting it, you can easily save the video as a draft. Start by creating the TikTok you want to save.
When you save a video-in-progress as a draft, you can open it for editing later to record more clips, add transitions, and more.
1-2. Tap Next when you're finished.
It'll be at the bottom-right corner of the preview.
1-3. Tap Drafts.
It's at the bottom-left corner. This saves your video as a draft that you can edit and post whenever you'd like.
Your drafts are only available on the phone or tablet on which you create them. If you switch to another phone, you won't be able to access your drafts on that device.
2. How to Find and Edit Your Drafts
2-1. Tap the Profile icon at the bottom-right corner of TikTok.
This takes you to your profile, where you'll find your Drafts folder.
2-2. Tap the Drafts folder.
It's at the top-left corner of your collection of TikTok videos. All of your saved drafts appear in this folder.
2-3. Tap a draft to open it for editing.
You can now add or edit music, create text and captions, apply effects, and use any of TikTok's other editing tools.
Want to record more video for this TikTok? Tap the back arrow at the top-left corner of your draft, then select to return to the camera screen.
2-4. Save or share your finished video.
When you're finished making changes, you have several options:
To share your video on TikTok, tap , enter your caption and preferences, and then tap .
If you're not ready to share yet, tap and then tap at the bottom-left to re-save the draft.
Tap to share the video to your story, which is a feature that appears on your profile for 24 hours before disappearing (just like Instagram and Snapchat stories).
3. Why can't I find my TikTok drafts?
Drafts are saved on your phone or tablet, not on TikTok's servers.
If you switch phones, do a factory reset, or uninstall and reinstall TikTok, your drafts will disappear.
Are you using the same phone or tablet on which you created the draft you're looking for? If not, and you still have TikTok on the other phone or tablet, you can still access the draft on the other device.
Unfortunately, even though drafts are saved locally, TikTok doesn't add drafts to your camera roll. This means that you won't find the draft in your Photos or Gallery app after deleting TikTok.
4. How do I keep my drafts from disappearing?
To save a draft to your phone so you don't lose it, you'll need to post it to TikTok.
But it's okay if you're not ready to share the draft publicly—you can just post it privately! Here's how:
Tap the draft in your Drafts folder and make any final changes.
Tap .
Set the visibility to .
Tap and toggle on the "Save to device" option.
Tap the back button and then tap . This posts the video privately and saves it to your camera roll.
Tips
If you need to log out of TikTok, don't worry—you won't lose your drafts. Just make sure you don't delete the app!
Saving videos to your drafts is perfect if you want to film a lot of TikTok content in one day so you have a lot of content to edit and release.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How to Save Drafts on TikTok\\n1-1. Record and edit your TikTok video.\\nIf you want to save your edits on a TikTok video without posting it, you can easily save the video as a draft. Start by creating the TikTok you want to save.\\nWhen you save a video-in-progress as a draft, you can open it for editing later to record more clips, add transitions, and more.\\n1-2. Tap Next when you're finished.\\nIt'll be at the bottom-right corner of the preview.\\n1-3. Tap Drafts.\\nIt's at the bottom-left corner. This saves your video as a draft that you can edit and post whenever you'd like.\\nYour drafts are only available on the phone or tablet on which you create them. If you switch to another phone, you won't be able to access your drafts on that device.\\n2. How to Find and Edit Your Drafts\\n2-1. Tap the Profile icon at the bottom-right corner of TikTok.\\nThis takes you to your profile, where you'll find your Drafts folder.\\n2-2. Tap the Drafts folder.\\nIt's at the top-left corner of your collection of TikTok videos. All of your saved drafts appear in this folder.\\n2-3. Tap a draft to open it for editing.\\nYou can now add or edit music, create text and captions, apply effects, and use any of TikTok's other editing tools.\\nWant to record more video for this TikTok? Tap the back arrow at the top-left corner of your draft, then select to return to the camera screen.\\n2-4. Save or share your finished video.\\nWhen you're finished making changes, you have several options:\\nTo share your video on TikTok, tap , enter your caption and preferences, and then tap .\\nIf you're not ready to share yet, tap and then tap at the bottom-left to re-save the draft.\\nTap to share the video to your story, which is a feature that appears on your profile for 24 hours before disappearing (just like Instagram and Snapchat stories).\\n3. Why can't I find my TikTok drafts?\\nDrafts are saved on your phone or tablet, not on TikTok's servers.\\nIf you switch phones, do a factory reset, or uninstall and reinstall TikTok, your drafts will disappear. \\nAre you using the same phone or tablet on which you created the draft you're looking for? If not, and you still have TikTok on the other phone or tablet, you can still access the draft on the other device.\\nUnfortunately, even though drafts are saved locally, TikTok doesn't add drafts to your camera roll. This means that you won't find the draft in your Photos or Gallery app after deleting TikTok.\\n4. How do I keep my drafts from disappearing?\\nTo save a draft to your phone so you don't lose it, you'll need to post it to TikTok.\\nBut it's okay if you're not ready to share the draft publicly—you can just post it privately! Here's how:\\nTap the draft in your Drafts folder and make any final changes.\\nTap .\\nSet the visibility to .\\nTap and toggle on the \\\"Save to device\\\" option.\\nTap the back button and then tap . This posts the video privately and saves it to your camera roll.\\nTips\\nIf you need to log out of TikTok, don't worry—you won't lose your drafts. Just make sure you don't delete the app!\\nSaving videos to your drafts is perfect if you want to film a lot of TikTok content in one day so you have a lot of content to edit and release.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you trying to find your TikTok drafts on an Android, iPhone, or iPad? Whether you want to edit a draft you've already created or you're not sure how to save a draft in TikTok, we can help! This wikiHow article will show you how to save, find, edit, and post drafts in TikTok, and teach you what to do if your TikTok drafts have disappeared.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How to Save Drafts on TikTok\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Record and edit your TikTok video.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to save your edits on a TikTok video without posting it, you can easily save the video as a draft. Start by creating the TikTok you want to save.\\nWhen you save a video-in-progress as a draft, you can open it for editing later to record more clips, add transitions, and more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Next when you're finished.\", \"描述\": \"It'll be at the bottom-right corner of the preview.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Drafts.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom-left corner. This saves your video as a draft that you can edit and post whenever you'd like.\\nYour drafts are only available on the phone or tablet on which you create them. If you switch to another phone, you won't be able to access your drafts on that device.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How to Find and Edit Your Drafts\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap the Profile icon at the bottom-right corner of TikTok.\", \"描述\": \"This takes you to your profile, where you'll find your Drafts folder.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the Drafts folder.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the top-left corner of your collection of TikTok videos. All of your saved drafts appear in this folder.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap a draft to open it for editing.\", \"描述\": \"You can now add or edit music, create text and captions, apply effects, and use any of TikTok's other editing tools.\\nWant to record more video for this TikTok? Tap the back arrow at the top-left corner of your draft, then select to return to the camera screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Save or share your finished video.\", \"描述\": \"When you're finished making changes, you have several options:\\nTo share your video on TikTok, tap , enter your caption and preferences, and then tap .\\nIf you're not ready to share yet, tap and then tap at the bottom-left to re-save the draft.\\nTap to share the video to your story, which is a feature that appears on your profile for 24 hours before disappearing (just like Instagram and Snapchat stories).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Why can't I find my TikTok drafts?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Drafts are saved on your phone or tablet, not on TikTok's servers.\", \"描述\": \"If you switch phones, do a factory reset, or uninstall and reinstall TikTok, your drafts will disappear. \\nAre you using the same phone or tablet on which you created the draft you're looking for? If not, and you still have TikTok on the other phone or tablet, you can still access the draft on the other device.\\nUnfortunately, even though drafts are saved locally, TikTok doesn't add drafts to your camera roll. This means that you won't find the draft in your Photos or Gallery app after deleting TikTok.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"How do I keep my drafts from disappearing?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"To save a draft to your phone so you don't lose it, you'll need to post it to TikTok.\", \"描述\": \"But it's okay if you're not ready to share the draft publicly—you can just post it privately! Here's how:\\nTap the draft in your Drafts folder and make any final changes.\\nTap .\\nSet the visibility to .\\nTap and toggle on the \\\"Save to device\\\" option.\\nTap the back button and then tap . This posts the video privately and saves it to your camera roll.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you need to log out of TikTok, don't worry—you won't lose your drafts. Just make sure you don't delete the app!\\n\", \"Saving videos to your drafts is perfect if you want to film a lot of TikTok content in one day so you have a lot of content to edit and release.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
176 | 3 Ways to Access Email | 1. Using a Web Browser
1-1. Go to your email service provider.
Open a new tab in your favorite web browser and go to the address of your email service provider. Email accounts accessed online are called “webmails.” This is the most commonly used kind of email because it’s free and anyone can use it.
Popular email service providers include Google (Gmail), Yahoo (Yahoo Mail), AOL (AIM), and Microsoft (Outlook).
To find out the web address of your webmail, you may ask people you know who use the same email service, contact the customer service department of the email provider you’re using, or just search for it.
1-2. Type in your username and password.
Once you’ve opened the web address of your email provider, you should be able to see a login page. Enter your email account’s credentials (username and password) in the text fields provided.
If you forgot your password, you can click the "Forgot Password?" link. If you remember your password, you can change it to something else within your email dashboard.
1-3. Click the “Log In” or “Sign In” button to continue.
You should now be able to access your email inbox.
Once you've accessed your email, there are numerous things you can do! For one, you can delete all the emails from one sender.
2. Using an Email Client on a Computer
2-1. Download an email client application.
These kinds of programs let you access your email accounts without having to log into any websites. It also downloads your messages and contact information locally on your computer so you can access it even while offline.
Common email client applications include Gmail Inbox, Microsoft Outlook, Mozilla Thunderbird, Lotus Notes, and Apple’s Mail app.
These applications normally come with either your computer (Mail app) or with the office suite package you’re using on your PC (MS Outlook and Mozilla Thunderbird). On the other hand, if you don’t have any of these applications yet, you can download them over the Internet and install them on your computer. There are several websites available on the net where you can get these programs.
2-2. Click on the application's desktop icon after installation to open it.
During the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.
You might also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.
2-3. Save the settings.
After providing all the necessary information, save the settings you’ve entered to finalize and complete the setup.
2-4. Wait for the email client application to sync.
The program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your computer. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.
After syncing, your inbox will contain all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using the email client software.
3. Using Mobile Apps on Your Phone or Tablet
3-1. Open your device’s email app.
Gadgets like tablets and phones already have a preinstalled application you can use to access your email. These apps are very similar to how email client applications for desktop PCs work. Just tap the native email app from your device’s app screen to launch it.
3-2. Set up your email account for access using your device’s native mail app.
During the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.
You’ll also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.
3-3. Save the settings.
After providing all the necessary information, save the settings you've entered to finalize and complete the setup.
3-4. Wait for the email client application to sync.
The program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your mobile device. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.
After syncing, your inbox will show all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using your gadget’s native mail app.
Tips
Always protect your email account information. Do not tell other people what your password is or share your account with someone else. If you do share your information, the other person can access your email and delete emails before you see them.
Always access your email only on secure connections, especially if you’re using your account for very personal purposes. Refrain from opening your account while connected to public Wi-Fi network or hotspots to avoid potentially getting hacked.
If you receive a large number of emails, you should organize them properly so that it is easy to retrieve a specific message later.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using a Web Browser\\n1-1. Go to your email service provider.\\nOpen a new tab in your favorite web browser and go to the address of your email service provider. Email accounts accessed online are called “webmails.” This is the most commonly used kind of email because it’s free and anyone can use it.\\nPopular email service providers include Google (Gmail), Yahoo (Yahoo Mail), AOL (AIM), and Microsoft (Outlook).\\nTo find out the web address of your webmail, you may ask people you know who use the same email service, contact the customer service department of the email provider you’re using, or just search for it.\\n1-2. Type in your username and password.\\nOnce you’ve opened the web address of your email provider, you should be able to see a login page. Enter your email account’s credentials (username and password) in the text fields provided.\\nIf you forgot your password, you can click the \\\"Forgot Password?\\\" link. If you remember your password, you can change it to something else within your email dashboard.\\n1-3. Click the “Log In” or “Sign In” button to continue.\\nYou should now be able to access your email inbox.\\nOnce you've accessed your email, there are numerous things you can do! For one, you can delete all the emails from one sender.\\n2. Using an Email Client on a Computer\\n2-1. Download an email client application.\\nThese kinds of programs let you access your email accounts without having to log into any websites. It also downloads your messages and contact information locally on your computer so you can access it even while offline.\\nCommon email client applications include Gmail Inbox, Microsoft Outlook, Mozilla Thunderbird, Lotus Notes, and Apple’s Mail app.\\nThese applications normally come with either your computer (Mail app) or with the office suite package you’re using on your PC (MS Outlook and Mozilla Thunderbird). On the other hand, if you don’t have any of these applications yet, you can download them over the Internet and install them on your computer. There are several websites available on the net where you can get these programs.\\n2-2. Click on the application's desktop icon after installation to open it.\\nDuring the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.\\nYou might also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.\\n2-3. Save the settings.\\nAfter providing all the necessary information, save the settings you’ve entered to finalize and complete the setup.\\n2-4. Wait for the email client application to sync.\\nThe program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your computer. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.\\nAfter syncing, your inbox will contain all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using the email client software.\\n3. Using Mobile Apps on Your Phone or Tablet\\n3-1. Open your device’s email app.\\nGadgets like tablets and phones already have a preinstalled application you can use to access your email. These apps are very similar to how email client applications for desktop PCs work. Just tap the native email app from your device’s app screen to launch it.\\n3-2. Set up your email account for access using your device’s native mail app.\\nDuring the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.\\nYou’ll also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.\\n3-3. Save the settings.\\nAfter providing all the necessary information, save the settings you've entered to finalize and complete the setup.\\n3-4. Wait for the email client application to sync.\\nThe program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your mobile device. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.\\nAfter syncing, your inbox will show all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using your gadget’s native mail app.\\nTips\\nAlways protect your email account information. Do not tell other people what your password is or share your account with someone else. If you do share your information, the other person can access your email and delete emails before you see them.\\nAlways access your email only on secure connections, especially if you’re using your account for very personal purposes. Refrain from opening your account while connected to public Wi-Fi network or hotspots to avoid potentially getting hacked.\\nIf you receive a large number of emails, you should organize them properly so that it is easy to retrieve a specific message later.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Email is one of the most common and efficient means of communication, but do you know how to access it? Logging into your email accounts is very easy process, so don't worry! This wikiHow article teaches you how to access your email account from a computer and a mobile device.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using a Web Browser\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to your email service provider.\", \"描述\": \"Open a new tab in your favorite web browser and go to the address of your email service provider. Email accounts accessed online are called “webmails.” This is the most commonly used kind of email because it’s free and anyone can use it.\\nPopular email service providers include Google (Gmail), Yahoo (Yahoo Mail), AOL (AIM), and Microsoft (Outlook).\\nTo find out the web address of your webmail, you may ask people you know who use the same email service, contact the customer service department of the email provider you’re using, or just search for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Type in your username and password.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve opened the web address of your email provider, you should be able to see a login page. Enter your email account’s credentials (username and password) in the text fields provided.\\nIf you forgot your password, you can click the \\\"Forgot Password?\\\" link. If you remember your password, you can change it to something else within your email dashboard.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the “Log In” or “Sign In” button to continue.\", \"描述\": \"You should now be able to access your email inbox.\\nOnce you've accessed your email, there are numerous things you can do! For one, you can delete all the emails from one sender.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using an Email Client on a Computer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download an email client application.\", \"描述\": \"These kinds of programs let you access your email accounts without having to log into any websites. It also downloads your messages and contact information locally on your computer so you can access it even while offline.\\nCommon email client applications include Gmail Inbox, Microsoft Outlook, Mozilla Thunderbird, Lotus Notes, and Apple’s Mail app.\\nThese applications normally come with either your computer (Mail app) or with the office suite package you’re using on your PC (MS Outlook and Mozilla Thunderbird). On the other hand, if you don’t have any of these applications yet, you can download them over the Internet and install them on your computer. There are several websites available on the net where you can get these programs.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click on the application's desktop icon after installation to open it.\", \"描述\": \"During the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.\\nYou might also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Save the settings.\", \"描述\": \"After providing all the necessary information, save the settings you’ve entered to finalize and complete the setup.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait for the email client application to sync.\", \"描述\": \"The program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your computer. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.\\nAfter syncing, your inbox will contain all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using the email client software.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Mobile Apps on Your Phone or Tablet\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your device’s email app.\", \"描述\": \"Gadgets like tablets and phones already have a preinstalled application you can use to access your email. These apps are very similar to how email client applications for desktop PCs work. Just tap the native email app from your device’s app screen to launch it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Set up your email account for access using your device’s native mail app.\", \"描述\": \"During the first launch, you’ll be asked to enter your email account information. These details include your email username and password. Supply this information in the text fields provided to set up your email account on the client application.\\nYou’ll also be asked to input your email account’s POP3, SMTP, and port settings. You may contact your email service provider or your firm’s IT personnel (if you’re setting up a company email) to acquire these particular settings. Most modern applications, like Outlook, Inbox, and Apple Mail will automatically assign these numbers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Save the settings.\", \"描述\": \"After providing all the necessary information, save the settings you've entered to finalize and complete the setup.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait for the email client application to sync.\", \"描述\": \"The program will start downloading all your messages and contact information from the server and saving it locally on your mobile device. This may take a few moments depending on the number of messages you have on your account.\\nAfter syncing, your inbox will show all the messages you have. From here on, you can access your email account’s inbox, and send and receive messages using your gadget’s native mail app.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Always protect your email account information. Do not tell other people what your password is or share your account with someone else. If you do share your information, the other person can access your email and delete emails before you see them.\\n\", \"Always access your email only on secure connections, especially if you’re using your account for very personal purposes. Refrain from opening your account while connected to public Wi-Fi network or hotspots to avoid potentially getting hacked.\\n\", \"If you receive a large number of emails, you should organize them properly so that it is easy to retrieve a specific message later.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
177 | How to Access Equity in Investment Property | 1. Getting a Cash-Out Refinance
1-1. Choose a cash-out refi for a lump sum.
The cash-out refi is better for property owners who need a larger amount of money all at once. You may have substantial repairs that need to be done to the property, or you may want to purchase additional investment property.
A cash-out refi is also beneficial if you want to consolidate other debts. However, be careful if you've established an LLC to manage your investment properties – using the equity in those properties to pay off personal debts would be commingling.
1-2. Gather financial documentation.
You may already have a general idea of the kind of documentation you'll need to apply for a mortgage – 2 or 3 years of tax returns, bank statements, and documentation of other debts and assets.
For an investment property, you'll need additional documentation as well, such as rental agreements and tax information for the investment property and any other properties you own.
1-3. Calculate your equity in the property.
With your principal residence, you can finance as much as 80 or 90 percent of the property's total value. However, with an investment property, lenders typically only finance up to around 70 percent.
If you don't have a lot of equity in the property, a cash-out refi may not be of significant benefit to you. Generally, you want to have at least 30 if not 40 percent equity in the property before you apply for a cash-out refi.
You'll typically need to get the property appraised. You can do this on your own, or you can wait until you find a lender and let them take care of it.
1-4. Shop and compare lenders online.
It can be difficult to find a lender for a cash-out refi on investment property. You may find it useful to get quotes from several lenders so you can make sure you're getting the best rates and loan terms that meet your investment goals.
Many lenders will pre-qualify you for a rate on a set amount, after you provide some basic information on an online form. You can compare these pre-qualifications to choose the lender you want. Just keep in mind that the final offer may be somewhat different from the pre-qualification offer.
Some lenders are unwilling to offer cash-out refis to investors with more than 4 properties. If you have several investment properties, ask if the lender has this limitation.
1-5. Complete your application.
Your application for a cash-out refi will be substantially similar to the original mortgage application you completed for the property. You'll have to provide information about your personal finances as well as the income earned through the investment property.
The lender will go through the process of reviewing the information and documents you provided. If they need any additional information to approve your loan, they'll let you know.
1-6. Review the loan terms carefully.
When the lender presents you with your final loan offer, review it in terms of your own plans for the property and your long-term investment goals. Don't be afraid to refuse it if you can't make the terms work for you.
If your mortgage payment will increase as a result of the refi, consider whether you can cover that increase by increasing the rent on the property.
1-7. Receive your funds.
If you accept the loan, you'll typically receive a check at closing for the difference between the amount of your previous mortgage on the property and the amount of your cash-out refi.
This money can be used for whatever purpose you originally intended. If you plan to hold onto it for awhile before using it, put it in an interest-bearing account so it will make a little money in the meantime.
2. Applying for a Home Equity Line of Credit
2-1. Use a HELOC for home improvements.
A HELOC is a revolving line of credit, similar to a credit card, secured by the equity in your investment property. If you plan to use the money on a regular basis for repairs, or to make improvements, a HELOC could be the best choice for you.
A HELOC could also benefit you if, for example, you own investment property on the coast that is often damaged by storms. With the HELOC, you have money to make repairs quickly so you don't lose as much rental income.
2-2. Find a HELOC lender.
While most major banks and mortgage companies offer HELOCs for primary residences, only some of them do for investment properties. You can still shop around, though, to find the best rates.
Some lenders will pre-qualify you for a HELOC. You can use this to compare lenders.
You might also consider going with an online service that sends your information to multiple lenders and finds the best match for you.
2-3. Fill out application forms.
Applying for a HELOC is similar to applying for any mortgage. You'll need to provide information about your income and finances, as well as the income of your investment property.
For an investment property, the lender typically also wants to see copies of any active leases on the property. They may want to see other business documents as well, particularly if you've organized an LLC or corporation to manage your rental properties.
2-4. Get a quote from the lender if approved.
Once your application is complete, the lender will offer you an amount of money at a certain rate. You'll typically pay an annual maintenance fee, but generally speaking you don't make any payments on a HELOC unless you use part of the money.
If the first lender doesn't approve you, apply again with someone else. Find out why your application was denied and see what you can do to remedy that issue.
2-5. Decide how to pay closing costs.
You'll have closing costs with a HELOC, just as you would with any other mortgage. While they're typically lower than a traditional mortgage, they'll still probably be several thousand dollars.
If you add the closing costs to the balance of your HELOC, you'll start making monthly payments immediately. You can also choose to pay these as a lump sum at closing.
2-6. Use your funds when needed.
Your lender typically will set up an account and give you a debit card to use when you want to access the funds in the account. Your HELOC account operates very similarly to a credit card account.
Keep track of expenses you pay with your HELOC funds. In general, it's a good idea to avoid using HELOC funds to cover unnecessary purchases or expenses unrelated to the investment property itself.
3. Improving Your Chances of Acceptance
3-1. Maintain a stellar credit rating.
Home equity loans on investment properties are extremely risky for lenders. An excellent credit score and consistent credit history can help you get the best possible rates.
Your personal credit score as well as your debt-to-income ratio may effect your eligibility for either a cash-out refi or a HELOC.
There are psychological reassurances for a loan on a primary residence that aren't there with a property you don't live in. Primarily, lenders realize people will do everything possible to avoid foreclosure that could result in them being homeless. On the other hand, it could be much easier to default on an investment property.
3-2. Organize your finances meticulously.
It should come as no surprise that applying for any kind of mortgage will require a lot of paperwork. When you're trying to access equity in investment property, however, lenders typically require more documentation than they might for a primary residence.
If your files are in order and documents are easy to access and understand, you make your mortgage broker's work easier.
Organized finances demonstrate that you take responsibility, which may influence your broker into seeing you as less of a risk.
3-3. Apply only when you have substantial equity.
Since a HELOC or refi on investment property only takes up to 70 percent of the property's value, it makes sense to wait for equity to build. If your current mortgage only represents, say, 40 percent of the overall property value, you can tap into much more of the equity.
Allowing substantial equity to build also protects you in the event of another market downturn that lowers your property's value.
Pay attention to any developments that could substantially increase (or decrease) your property's value.
3-4. Hold property for several years before tapping equity.
You'll be more likely to qualify for a refi if you can show a substantial history of on-time mortgage payments on the property. Many lenders won't refinance property you've held for 6 months or less.
There are some exceptions, but if you haven't owned the property for long, expect to access a smaller proportion of the equity at a higher rate.
3-5. Keep adequate cash reserves.
Especially if you apply for a HELOC, lenders may actually require you to keep several thousand dollars in savings. This reassures the lender that you'll still be able to make your payments, even if the property sits empty for several months.
As a general rule, plan on having about 6 months of expenses for your investment property in a savings account that you can easily access.
3-6. Carry adequate insurance on the property.
Being insured against loss is another way lenders can be reassured that they'll get their money back. You need landlord insurance, which provides increased protection for your rental property.
Landlord insurance also covers your loss of income if you are unable to rent the property for a period of time. The amount of time covered depends on the policy.
Your lender may require specific levels of coverage as a condition for approving your loan.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:32",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting a Cash-Out Refinance\\n1-1. Choose a cash-out refi for a lump sum.\\nThe cash-out refi is better for property owners who need a larger amount of money all at once. You may have substantial repairs that need to be done to the property, or you may want to purchase additional investment property.\\nA cash-out refi is also beneficial if you want to consolidate other debts. However, be careful if you've established an LLC to manage your investment properties – using the equity in those properties to pay off personal debts would be commingling.\\n1-2. Gather financial documentation.\\nYou may already have a general idea of the kind of documentation you'll need to apply for a mortgage – 2 or 3 years of tax returns, bank statements, and documentation of other debts and assets.\\nFor an investment property, you'll need additional documentation as well, such as rental agreements and tax information for the investment property and any other properties you own.\\n1-3. Calculate your equity in the property.\\nWith your principal residence, you can finance as much as 80 or 90 percent of the property's total value. However, with an investment property, lenders typically only finance up to around 70 percent.\\nIf you don't have a lot of equity in the property, a cash-out refi may not be of significant benefit to you. Generally, you want to have at least 30 if not 40 percent equity in the property before you apply for a cash-out refi.\\nYou'll typically need to get the property appraised. You can do this on your own, or you can wait until you find a lender and let them take care of it.\\n1-4. Shop and compare lenders online.\\nIt can be difficult to find a lender for a cash-out refi on investment property. You may find it useful to get quotes from several lenders so you can make sure you're getting the best rates and loan terms that meet your investment goals.\\nMany lenders will pre-qualify you for a rate on a set amount, after you provide some basic information on an online form. You can compare these pre-qualifications to choose the lender you want. Just keep in mind that the final offer may be somewhat different from the pre-qualification offer.\\nSome lenders are unwilling to offer cash-out refis to investors with more than 4 properties. If you have several investment properties, ask if the lender has this limitation.\\n1-5. Complete your application.\\nYour application for a cash-out refi will be substantially similar to the original mortgage application you completed for the property. You'll have to provide information about your personal finances as well as the income earned through the investment property.\\nThe lender will go through the process of reviewing the information and documents you provided. If they need any additional information to approve your loan, they'll let you know.\\n1-6. Review the loan terms carefully.\\nWhen the lender presents you with your final loan offer, review it in terms of your own plans for the property and your long-term investment goals. Don't be afraid to refuse it if you can't make the terms work for you.\\nIf your mortgage payment will increase as a result of the refi, consider whether you can cover that increase by increasing the rent on the property.\\n1-7. Receive your funds.\\nIf you accept the loan, you'll typically receive a check at closing for the difference between the amount of your previous mortgage on the property and the amount of your cash-out refi.\\nThis money can be used for whatever purpose you originally intended. If you plan to hold onto it for awhile before using it, put it in an interest-bearing account so it will make a little money in the meantime.\\n2. Applying for a Home Equity Line of Credit\\n2-1. Use a HELOC for home improvements.\\nA HELOC is a revolving line of credit, similar to a credit card, secured by the equity in your investment property. If you plan to use the money on a regular basis for repairs, or to make improvements, a HELOC could be the best choice for you.\\nA HELOC could also benefit you if, for example, you own investment property on the coast that is often damaged by storms. With the HELOC, you have money to make repairs quickly so you don't lose as much rental income.\\n2-2. Find a HELOC lender.\\nWhile most major banks and mortgage companies offer HELOCs for primary residences, only some of them do for investment properties. You can still shop around, though, to find the best rates.\\nSome lenders will pre-qualify you for a HELOC. You can use this to compare lenders.\\nYou might also consider going with an online service that sends your information to multiple lenders and finds the best match for you.\\n2-3. Fill out application forms.\\nApplying for a HELOC is similar to applying for any mortgage. You'll need to provide information about your income and finances, as well as the income of your investment property.\\nFor an investment property, the lender typically also wants to see copies of any active leases on the property. They may want to see other business documents as well, particularly if you've organized an LLC or corporation to manage your rental properties.\\n2-4. Get a quote from the lender if approved.\\nOnce your application is complete, the lender will offer you an amount of money at a certain rate. You'll typically pay an annual maintenance fee, but generally speaking you don't make any payments on a HELOC unless you use part of the money.\\nIf the first lender doesn't approve you, apply again with someone else. Find out why your application was denied and see what you can do to remedy that issue.\\n2-5. Decide how to pay closing costs.\\nYou'll have closing costs with a HELOC, just as you would with any other mortgage. While they're typically lower than a traditional mortgage, they'll still probably be several thousand dollars.\\nIf you add the closing costs to the balance of your HELOC, you'll start making monthly payments immediately. You can also choose to pay these as a lump sum at closing.\\n2-6. Use your funds when needed.\\nYour lender typically will set up an account and give you a debit card to use when you want to access the funds in the account. Your HELOC account operates very similarly to a credit card account.\\nKeep track of expenses you pay with your HELOC funds. In general, it's a good idea to avoid using HELOC funds to cover unnecessary purchases or expenses unrelated to the investment property itself.\\n3. Improving Your Chances of Acceptance\\n3-1. Maintain a stellar credit rating.\\nHome equity loans on investment properties are extremely risky for lenders. An excellent credit score and consistent credit history can help you get the best possible rates.\\nYour personal credit score as well as your debt-to-income ratio may effect your eligibility for either a cash-out refi or a HELOC.\\nThere are psychological reassurances for a loan on a primary residence that aren't there with a property you don't live in. Primarily, lenders realize people will do everything possible to avoid foreclosure that could result in them being homeless. On the other hand, it could be much easier to default on an investment property.\\n3-2. Organize your finances meticulously.\\nIt should come as no surprise that applying for any kind of mortgage will require a lot of paperwork. When you're trying to access equity in investment property, however, lenders typically require more documentation than they might for a primary residence.\\nIf your files are in order and documents are easy to access and understand, you make your mortgage broker's work easier.\\nOrganized finances demonstrate that you take responsibility, which may influence your broker into seeing you as less of a risk.\\n3-3. Apply only when you have substantial equity.\\nSince a HELOC or refi on investment property only takes up to 70 percent of the property's value, it makes sense to wait for equity to build. If your current mortgage only represents, say, 40 percent of the overall property value, you can tap into much more of the equity.\\nAllowing substantial equity to build also protects you in the event of another market downturn that lowers your property's value.\\nPay attention to any developments that could substantially increase (or decrease) your property's value.\\n3-4. Hold property for several years before tapping equity.\\nYou'll be more likely to qualify for a refi if you can show a substantial history of on-time mortgage payments on the property. Many lenders won't refinance property you've held for 6 months or less.\\nThere are some exceptions, but if you haven't owned the property for long, expect to access a smaller proportion of the equity at a higher rate.\\n3-5. Keep adequate cash reserves.\\nEspecially if you apply for a HELOC, lenders may actually require you to keep several thousand dollars in savings. This reassures the lender that you'll still be able to make your payments, even if the property sits empty for several months.\\nAs a general rule, plan on having about 6 months of expenses for your investment property in a savings account that you can easily access.\\n3-6. Carry adequate insurance on the property.\\nBeing insured against loss is another way lenders can be reassured that they'll get their money back. You need landlord insurance, which provides increased protection for your rental property.\\nLandlord insurance also covers your loss of income if you are unable to rent the property for a period of time. The amount of time covered depends on the policy.\\nYour lender may require specific levels of coverage as a condition for approving your loan.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Real estate is not as liquid as other investments. Building up equity is great, but does you no good unless you can tap into it. The primary way to access equity in investment property is to mortgage (or re-mortgage) the property. Depending on your needs and the amount of equity you have, you can either do a cash-out refinance (cash-out refi) or get a home equity line of credit (HELOC). However, it can be far more difficult to access equity in investment property than it would be on your primary residence.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting a Cash-Out Refinance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a cash-out refi for a lump sum.\", \"描述\": \"The cash-out refi is better for property owners who need a larger amount of money all at once. You may have substantial repairs that need to be done to the property, or you may want to purchase additional investment property.\\nA cash-out refi is also beneficial if you want to consolidate other debts. However, be careful if you've established an LLC to manage your investment properties – using the equity in those properties to pay off personal debts would be commingling.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Gather financial documentation.\", \"描述\": \"You may already have a general idea of the kind of documentation you'll need to apply for a mortgage – 2 or 3 years of tax returns, bank statements, and documentation of other debts and assets.\\nFor an investment property, you'll need additional documentation as well, such as rental agreements and tax information for the investment property and any other properties you own.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Calculate your equity in the property.\", \"描述\": \"With your principal residence, you can finance as much as 80 or 90 percent of the property's total value. However, with an investment property, lenders typically only finance up to around 70 percent.\\nIf you don't have a lot of equity in the property, a cash-out refi may not be of significant benefit to you. Generally, you want to have at least 30 if not 40 percent equity in the property before you apply for a cash-out refi.\\nYou'll typically need to get the property appraised. You can do this on your own, or you can wait until you find a lender and let them take care of it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Shop and compare lenders online.\", \"描述\": \"It can be difficult to find a lender for a cash-out refi on investment property. You may find it useful to get quotes from several lenders so you can make sure you're getting the best rates and loan terms that meet your investment goals.\\nMany lenders will pre-qualify you for a rate on a set amount, after you provide some basic information on an online form. You can compare these pre-qualifications to choose the lender you want. Just keep in mind that the final offer may be somewhat different from the pre-qualification offer.\\nSome lenders are unwilling to offer cash-out refis to investors with more than 4 properties. If you have several investment properties, ask if the lender has this limitation.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Complete your application.\", \"描述\": \"Your application for a cash-out refi will be substantially similar to the original mortgage application you completed for the property. You'll have to provide information about your personal finances as well as the income earned through the investment property.\\nThe lender will go through the process of reviewing the information and documents you provided. If they need any additional information to approve your loan, they'll let you know.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Review the loan terms carefully.\", \"描述\": \"When the lender presents you with your final loan offer, review it in terms of your own plans for the property and your long-term investment goals. Don't be afraid to refuse it if you can't make the terms work for you.\\nIf your mortgage payment will increase as a result of the refi, consider whether you can cover that increase by increasing the rent on the property.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Receive your funds.\", \"描述\": \"If you accept the loan, you'll typically receive a check at closing for the difference between the amount of your previous mortgage on the property and the amount of your cash-out refi.\\nThis money can be used for whatever purpose you originally intended. If you plan to hold onto it for awhile before using it, put it in an interest-bearing account so it will make a little money in the meantime.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Applying for a Home Equity Line of Credit\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use a HELOC for home improvements.\", \"描述\": \"A HELOC is a revolving line of credit, similar to a credit card, secured by the equity in your investment property. If you plan to use the money on a regular basis for repairs, or to make improvements, a HELOC could be the best choice for you.\\nA HELOC could also benefit you if, for example, you own investment property on the coast that is often damaged by storms. With the HELOC, you have money to make repairs quickly so you don't lose as much rental income.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a HELOC lender.\", \"描述\": \"While most major banks and mortgage companies offer HELOCs for primary residences, only some of them do for investment properties. You can still shop around, though, to find the best rates.\\nSome lenders will pre-qualify you for a HELOC. You can use this to compare lenders.\\nYou might also consider going with an online service that sends your information to multiple lenders and finds the best match for you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fill out application forms.\", \"描述\": \"Applying for a HELOC is similar to applying for any mortgage. You'll need to provide information about your income and finances, as well as the income of your investment property.\\nFor an investment property, the lender typically also wants to see copies of any active leases on the property. They may want to see other business documents as well, particularly if you've organized an LLC or corporation to manage your rental properties.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a quote from the lender if approved.\", \"描述\": \"Once your application is complete, the lender will offer you an amount of money at a certain rate. You'll typically pay an annual maintenance fee, but generally speaking you don't make any payments on a HELOC unless you use part of the money.\\nIf the first lender doesn't approve you, apply again with someone else. Find out why your application was denied and see what you can do to remedy that issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide how to pay closing costs.\", \"描述\": \"You'll have closing costs with a HELOC, just as you would with any other mortgage. While they're typically lower than a traditional mortgage, they'll still probably be several thousand dollars.\\nIf you add the closing costs to the balance of your HELOC, you'll start making monthly payments immediately. You can also choose to pay these as a lump sum at closing.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use your funds when needed.\", \"描述\": \"Your lender typically will set up an account and give you a debit card to use when you want to access the funds in the account. Your HELOC account operates very similarly to a credit card account.\\nKeep track of expenses you pay with your HELOC funds. In general, it's a good idea to avoid using HELOC funds to cover unnecessary purchases or expenses unrelated to the investment property itself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Improving Your Chances of Acceptance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maintain a stellar credit rating.\", \"描述\": \"Home equity loans on investment properties are extremely risky for lenders. An excellent credit score and consistent credit history can help you get the best possible rates.\\nYour personal credit score as well as your debt-to-income ratio may effect your eligibility for either a cash-out refi or a HELOC.\\nThere are psychological reassurances for a loan on a primary residence that aren't there with a property you don't live in. Primarily, lenders realize people will do everything possible to avoid foreclosure that could result in them being homeless. On the other hand, it could be much easier to default on an investment property.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Organize your finances meticulously.\", \"描述\": \"It should come as no surprise that applying for any kind of mortgage will require a lot of paperwork. When you're trying to access equity in investment property, however, lenders typically require more documentation than they might for a primary residence.\\nIf your files are in order and documents are easy to access and understand, you make your mortgage broker's work easier.\\nOrganized finances demonstrate that you take responsibility, which may influence your broker into seeing you as less of a risk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Apply only when you have substantial equity.\", \"描述\": \"Since a HELOC or refi on investment property only takes up to 70 percent of the property's value, it makes sense to wait for equity to build. If your current mortgage only represents, say, 40 percent of the overall property value, you can tap into much more of the equity.\\nAllowing substantial equity to build also protects you in the event of another market downturn that lowers your property's value.\\nPay attention to any developments that could substantially increase (or decrease) your property's value.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hold property for several years before tapping equity.\", \"描述\": \"You'll be more likely to qualify for a refi if you can show a substantial history of on-time mortgage payments on the property. Many lenders won't refinance property you've held for 6 months or less.\\nThere are some exceptions, but if you haven't owned the property for long, expect to access a smaller proportion of the equity at a higher rate.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep adequate cash reserves.\", \"描述\": \"Especially if you apply for a HELOC, lenders may actually require you to keep several thousand dollars in savings. This reassures the lender that you'll still be able to make your payments, even if the property sits empty for several months.\\nAs a general rule, plan on having about 6 months of expenses for your investment property in a savings account that you can easily access.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Carry adequate insurance on the property.\", \"描述\": \"Being insured against loss is another way lenders can be reassured that they'll get their money back. You need landlord insurance, which provides increased protection for your rental property.\\nLandlord insurance also covers your loss of income if you are unable to rent the property for a period of time. The amount of time covered depends on the policy.\\nYour lender may require specific levels of coverage as a condition for approving your loan.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
178 | How to Access Facebook Dating | 1. Accessing Facebook Dating
1-1. Open Facebook.
This app icon features a white "f" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching. Tap ☰. You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.
1-2. Tap Dating.
You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.
If you don't have a dating profile, you'll need to opt in before you can use Facebook Dating.
2. Creating a Facebook Dating Profile
2-1. Open Facebook.
This app icon features a white "f" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.
You must be 18 years or older to use Facebook Dating.
2-2. Tap ☰.
You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.
2-3. Tap Dating.
You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.
2-4. Follow the on-screen instructions to create a Facebook Dating profile.
You'll enter details about yourself, like your height, job title, religion, etc.
The app will suggest profile pictures from your Facebook albums. You can accept or decline these suggestions, but you must have more than one photo to continue.
The suggestions for matches that you see are only other Facebook users who have opted into Facebook Dating.
3. Using Facebook Dating
3-1. Open Facebook.
This app icon features a white "f" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.
3-2. Tap ☰.
You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.
3-3. Tap Dating.
You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.
When you open Facebook Dating, you'll see a card stack of potential matches as well as suggestions for potential matches from your Events and Groups. Along the top of your screen, you'll see if Facebook Dating users have sent you likes and your conversations.
3-4. Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.
If you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.
3-5. Tap the profile from the card stack to see more of the profile.
If you're intrigued by the card presentation, you can tap it to get a full, detailed view of the profile. You'll see the location of the user, more pictures, as well as more details (like their height and religion).
You can also tap the or heart icons to express interest or disinterest.
3-6. Tap Liked You (if you have outstanding likes).
These are all profiles that have looked at yours and marked their interest.
3-7. Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.
If you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.
4. Adding a Secret Crush
4-1. Open Facebook.
This app icon features a white "f" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.
4-2. Tap ☰.
You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.
4-3. Tap Dating.
You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.
4-4. Tap Go for It.
You'll see this at the bottom of the main Facebook Dating page inside a purple card labeled "Secret Crush."
You can add up to 9 of your Facebook friends and Instagram followers to your list of Secret Crushes. They will not be notified unless they add you as well as a Secret Crush.
To add Instagram friends, you must connect your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account.
4-5. Tap the plus (+) icon.
You'll see a grid of 9 circles where you can add up to 9 Secret Crushes.
4-6. Tap to add a Facebook friend or Instagram follower.
Only friends or followers who have also joined Facebook Dating will get a notification that they've been added as a Secret Crush, but not who added them.
You can only add Instagram followers if you've connected your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account. If you tap here without linking those accounts, you will be prompted to. You'll just need to follow the on-screen instructions to link the accounts.
4-7. Search for your Facebook friend or Instagram follower.
As you type their name or username, you'll see suggestions below the search box.
4-8. Tap a suggestion to add them to your Secret Crush list.
Their profile will be added to your Secret Crush list and you'll get a notification if they add you to their Secret Crush list.
To remove a profile from your Secret Crush list, tap their profile on the grid and select .
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing Facebook Dating\\n1-1. Open Facebook.\\nThis app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching. Tap ☰. You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\\n1-2. Tap Dating.\\nYou'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\nIf you don't have a dating profile, you'll need to opt in before you can use Facebook Dating.\\n2. Creating a Facebook Dating Profile\\n2-1. Open Facebook.\\nThis app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nYou must be 18 years or older to use Facebook Dating.\\n2-2. Tap ☰.\\nYou'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\\n2-3. Tap Dating.\\nYou'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\n2-4. Follow the on-screen instructions to create a Facebook Dating profile.\\nYou'll enter details about yourself, like your height, job title, religion, etc.\\nThe app will suggest profile pictures from your Facebook albums. You can accept or decline these suggestions, but you must have more than one photo to continue.\\nThe suggestions for matches that you see are only other Facebook users who have opted into Facebook Dating.\\n3. Using Facebook Dating\\n3-1. Open Facebook.\\nThis app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\n3-2. Tap ☰.\\nYou'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\\n3-3. Tap Dating.\\nYou'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\nWhen you open Facebook Dating, you'll see a card stack of potential matches as well as suggestions for potential matches from your Events and Groups. Along the top of your screen, you'll see if Facebook Dating users have sent you likes and your conversations.\\n3-4. Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.\\nIf you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.\\n3-5. Tap the profile from the card stack to see more of the profile.\\nIf you're intrigued by the card presentation, you can tap it to get a full, detailed view of the profile. You'll see the location of the user, more pictures, as well as more details (like their height and religion).\\nYou can also tap the or heart icons to express interest or disinterest.\\n3-6. Tap Liked You (if you have outstanding likes).\\nThese are all profiles that have looked at yours and marked their interest.\\n3-7. Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.\\nIf you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.\\n4. Adding a Secret Crush\\n4-1. Open Facebook.\\nThis app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\n4-2. Tap ☰.\\nYou'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\\n4-3. Tap Dating.\\nYou'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\n4-4. Tap Go for It.\\nYou'll see this at the bottom of the main Facebook Dating page inside a purple card labeled \\\"Secret Crush.\\\"\\nYou can add up to 9 of your Facebook friends and Instagram followers to your list of Secret Crushes. They will not be notified unless they add you as well as a Secret Crush.\\nTo add Instagram friends, you must connect your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account.\\n4-5. Tap the plus (+) icon.\\nYou'll see a grid of 9 circles where you can add up to 9 Secret Crushes.\\n4-6. Tap to add a Facebook friend or Instagram follower.\\nOnly friends or followers who have also joined Facebook Dating will get a notification that they've been added as a Secret Crush, but not who added them.\\nYou can only add Instagram followers if you've connected your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account. If you tap here without linking those accounts, you will be prompted to. You'll just need to follow the on-screen instructions to link the accounts.\\n4-7. Search for your Facebook friend or Instagram follower.\\nAs you type their name or username, you'll see suggestions below the search box.\\n4-8. Tap a suggestion to add them to your Secret Crush list.\\nTheir profile will be added to your Secret Crush list and you'll get a notification if they add you to their Secret Crush list.\\nTo remove a profile from your Secret Crush list, tap their profile on the grid and select .\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You can create a Facebook Dating profile if you live in either Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, Guyana, Laos, Malaysia, Mexico, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Singapore, Suriname, Thailand, United States, Uruguay, and Vietnam (some countries aren't included yet; you can see the full list at Facebook's support article). This wikiHow will teach you how to access Facebook Dating from the mobile app.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing Facebook Dating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching. Tap ☰. You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Dating.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\nIf you don't have a dating profile, you'll need to opt in before you can use Facebook Dating.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a Facebook Dating Profile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\\nYou must be 18 years or older to use Facebook Dating.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Dating.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Follow the on-screen instructions to create a Facebook Dating profile.\", \"描述\": \"You'll enter details about yourself, like your height, job title, religion, etc.\\nThe app will suggest profile pictures from your Facebook albums. You can accept or decline these suggestions, but you must have more than one photo to continue.\\nThe suggestions for matches that you see are only other Facebook users who have opted into Facebook Dating.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Facebook Dating\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Dating.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\\nWhen you open Facebook Dating, you'll see a card stack of potential matches as well as suggestions for potential matches from your Events and Groups. Along the top of your screen, you'll see if Facebook Dating users have sent you likes and your conversations.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.\", \"描述\": \"If you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap the profile from the card stack to see more of the profile.\", \"描述\": \"If you're intrigued by the card presentation, you can tap it to get a full, detailed view of the profile. You'll see the location of the user, more pictures, as well as more details (like their height and religion).\\nYou can also tap the or heart icons to express interest or disinterest.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap Liked You (if you have outstanding likes).\", \"描述\": \"These are all profiles that have looked at yours and marked their interest.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap the X or heart icon to indicate your interest.\", \"描述\": \"If you're interested in a profile in the card stack, tap the heart icon to send them a like. If you're not interested, tap the icon.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adding a Secret Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"This app icon features a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background that you can find on one of your Home screens, in the app drawer, or by searching.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this in the upper right corner of your screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Dating.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this next to the icon of a heart.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap Go for It.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see this at the bottom of the main Facebook Dating page inside a purple card labeled \\\"Secret Crush.\\\"\\nYou can add up to 9 of your Facebook friends and Instagram followers to your list of Secret Crushes. They will not be notified unless they add you as well as a Secret Crush.\\nTo add Instagram friends, you must connect your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap the plus (+) icon.\", \"描述\": \"You'll see a grid of 9 circles where you can add up to 9 Secret Crushes.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap to add a Facebook friend or Instagram follower.\", \"描述\": \"Only friends or followers who have also joined Facebook Dating will get a notification that they've been added as a Secret Crush, but not who added them.\\nYou can only add Instagram followers if you've connected your Instagram account with your Facebook Dating account. If you tap here without linking those accounts, you will be prompted to. You'll just need to follow the on-screen instructions to link the accounts.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Search for your Facebook friend or Instagram follower.\", \"描述\": \"As you type their name or username, you'll see suggestions below the search box.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tap a suggestion to add them to your Secret Crush list.\", \"描述\": \"Their profile will be added to your Secret Crush list and you'll get a notification if they add you to their Secret Crush list.\\nTo remove a profile from your Secret Crush list, tap their profile on the grid and select .\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
179 | How to Access Facebook in China | 1. Installing a VPN
1-1. Find a VPN service that fits your needs.
A VPN (Virtual Private Network) is an encrypted connection to a remote server that allow you to access the internet from behind restrictive firewalls. VPNs affect all of your internet traffic, which means Skype and other messaging services are not stuck behind the firewall either. VPNs are not free, but some offer monthly plans as opposed to yearly fee, which can be very useful for travelers.
1-2. Check that the VPN you want works in China.
Some of the major VPN servers have been blocked by the Chinese government and are no longer accessible. Check with the company that you are signing up with and read reviews of the service online.
1-3. Download any necessary software.
Some VPN services will provide you with a VPN client that needs to be installed on your computer. Others will provide you connection information that you can enter into Windows’ or Mac’s connection manager.
Ideally, you should download and install your VPN software before you visit China. Many of the popular VPN programs are blocked, preventing you from signing up or downloading any clients. Setting your VPN up outside of China will make it easier to contact customer support if there are any issues.
Some VPN services offer mobile apps that you can use on your iPhone, iPad, or Android device.
1-4. Connect to your VPN.
Either run the client, or enter your VPN information into your operating system’s connection settings. VPN clients that are provided with the service are already pre-configured and only require you to enter your login information.
For Windows, search for VPN on your computer and then select “Set up a virtual private network (VPN) connection” (Windows Vista/7) or “Add a VPN connection” (Windows 8). Enter your connection information. Your VPN service should have provided you with a server to connect to, as well as a username and password. Enter these into the VPN connection settings
For Mac OS X, click the Apple menu and select System Preferences. Click on Network. Click the Add (+) button at the bottom of the list, and then select VPN from the list of options. Choose the type of VPN you are connecting to. This will be provided by your VPN service. Enter your VPN settings, including the server you are connecting to and your username and password.
Click Connect to connect to your VPN. Most VPNs should connect automatically. If you cannot establish a connection, contact your VPN’s support service to troubleshoot the problem.
1-5. Visit Facebook.
Once your VPN is connected, you can visit any of the blocked sites that weren't previously accessible, as well as use any other internet-enabled programs such as Skype. You may notice a slow connection, but this is normal due to the distance between yourself and the VPN server.
2. Using a Web-Based Proxy
2-1. Try free proxies.
A proxy is a website, often based in a different location than you, that will let you access other sites through it. So if your proxy is in the USA, and you access Facebook through it, it should be like accessing Facebook in the USA. Here is a list of free proxies for you to try. You should try them first, because why pay - but you may find they're not a great solution to access Facebook in China because:
China keeps finding and blocking them too.
They often don't have good enough programming to handle the technology of social media
2-2. Try a secure proxy.
Benefit of a proxy like this (as opposed to a VPN, which we talked about in the previous step) is that there's nothing to install on your computer - it's all web-based.
3. Downloading the Tor Browser
3-1. Download the Tor browser bundle.
Tor is a free distributed network that keeps you anonymous while you while you are connected through the browser. Information is bounced between a large number of relays that exist all over the globe. Tor allows you to bypass any firewalls or restrictions placed on your connection. The drawback is that websites load slowly, as the data has to travel great distances to reach you.
The Tor browser bundle is a self-contained program that does not need to be installed. You can place it onto a USB drive and plug it into any computer. The browser bundle is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux.
3-2. Run the browser.
The Tor browser is a modified version of Firefox, and shares a lot of interface similarities with it. When you run the browser program, a window will appear showing the status of the Tor connection. Once the connection is established, the browser will open.
Only traffic sent through the Tor browser will be sent through the Tor network. That means that Internet Explorer, Chrome, Safari, or any other browser will not be anonymous through the Tor network while Tor is running.
3-3. Check that you are connected.
Once the browser window opens, you should see a page confirming that you are successfully connected to Tor. You should now be able to access sites that were previously blocked. Closing the browser window will stop Tor from running
While data in the Tor network is encrypted, it cannot decrypt data leaving the Tor network. That means that any secure transactions that you need to make are just as vulnerable as they are on the regular internet. Only give out personal information to sites with SSL enabled. You will see HTTPS:// instead of HTTP:// and your browser address field will display a security lock.
Tips
It is highly recommended that you change the passwords for all the services that you accessed in China once you leave.
Try not to use so-called free VPN services. A lot of them are frauds.
Warnings
Bypassing the Chinese government's firewall is technically illegal and you may experience legal repercussions, though checking Facebook will most likely not cause any problems. Use this guide at your own risk.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Installing a VPN\\n1-1. Find a VPN service that fits your needs.\\nA VPN (Virtual Private Network) is an encrypted connection to a remote server that allow you to access the internet from behind restrictive firewalls. VPNs affect all of your internet traffic, which means Skype and other messaging services are not stuck behind the firewall either. VPNs are not free, but some offer monthly plans as opposed to yearly fee, which can be very useful for travelers.\\n1-2. Check that the VPN you want works in China.\\nSome of the major VPN servers have been blocked by the Chinese government and are no longer accessible. Check with the company that you are signing up with and read reviews of the service online.\\n1-3. Download any necessary software.\\nSome VPN services will provide you with a VPN client that needs to be installed on your computer. Others will provide you connection information that you can enter into Windows’ or Mac’s connection manager.\\nIdeally, you should download and install your VPN software before you visit China. Many of the popular VPN programs are blocked, preventing you from signing up or downloading any clients. Setting your VPN up outside of China will make it easier to contact customer support if there are any issues.\\nSome VPN services offer mobile apps that you can use on your iPhone, iPad, or Android device.\\n1-4. Connect to your VPN.\\nEither run the client, or enter your VPN information into your operating system’s connection settings. VPN clients that are provided with the service are already pre-configured and only require you to enter your login information.\\nFor Windows, search for VPN on your computer and then select “Set up a virtual private network (VPN) connection” (Windows Vista/7) or “Add a VPN connection” (Windows 8). Enter your connection information. Your VPN service should have provided you with a server to connect to, as well as a username and password. Enter these into the VPN connection settings\\nFor Mac OS X, click the Apple menu and select System Preferences. Click on Network. Click the Add (+) button at the bottom of the list, and then select VPN from the list of options. Choose the type of VPN you are connecting to. This will be provided by your VPN service. Enter your VPN settings, including the server you are connecting to and your username and password.\\nClick Connect to connect to your VPN. Most VPNs should connect automatically. If you cannot establish a connection, contact your VPN’s support service to troubleshoot the problem.\\n1-5. Visit Facebook.\\nOnce your VPN is connected, you can visit any of the blocked sites that weren't previously accessible, as well as use any other internet-enabled programs such as Skype. You may notice a slow connection, but this is normal due to the distance between yourself and the VPN server.\\n2. Using a Web-Based Proxy\\n2-1. Try free proxies.\\nA proxy is a website, often based in a different location than you, that will let you access other sites through it. So if your proxy is in the USA, and you access Facebook through it, it should be like accessing Facebook in the USA. Here is a list of free proxies for you to try. You should try them first, because why pay - but you may find they're not a great solution to access Facebook in China because:\\nChina keeps finding and blocking them too.\\nThey often don't have good enough programming to handle the technology of social media\\n2-2. Try a secure proxy.\\nBenefit of a proxy like this (as opposed to a VPN, which we talked about in the previous step) is that there's nothing to install on your computer - it's all web-based.\\n3. Downloading the Tor Browser\\n3-1. Download the Tor browser bundle.\\nTor is a free distributed network that keeps you anonymous while you while you are connected through the browser. Information is bounced between a large number of relays that exist all over the globe. Tor allows you to bypass any firewalls or restrictions placed on your connection. The drawback is that websites load slowly, as the data has to travel great distances to reach you.\\nThe Tor browser bundle is a self-contained program that does not need to be installed. You can place it onto a USB drive and plug it into any computer. The browser bundle is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux.\\n3-2. Run the browser.\\nThe Tor browser is a modified version of Firefox, and shares a lot of interface similarities with it. When you run the browser program, a window will appear showing the status of the Tor connection. Once the connection is established, the browser will open.\\nOnly traffic sent through the Tor browser will be sent through the Tor network. That means that Internet Explorer, Chrome, Safari, or any other browser will not be anonymous through the Tor network while Tor is running.\\n3-3. Check that you are connected.\\nOnce the browser window opens, you should see a page confirming that you are successfully connected to Tor. You should now be able to access sites that were previously blocked. Closing the browser window will stop Tor from running\\nWhile data in the Tor network is encrypted, it cannot decrypt data leaving the Tor network. That means that any secure transactions that you need to make are just as vulnerable as they are on the regular internet. Only give out personal information to sites with SSL enabled. You will see HTTPS:// instead of HTTP:// and your browser address field will display a security lock.\\nTips\\nIt is highly recommended that you change the passwords for all the services that you accessed in China once you leave.\\nTry not to use so-called free VPN services. A lot of them are frauds.\\nWarnings\\nBypassing the Chinese government's firewall is technically illegal and you may experience legal repercussions, though checking Facebook will most likely not cause any problems. Use this guide at your own risk.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"One of the big issues travelers face when visiting China are the restrictions that the Chinese government places on internet access. Specifically, popular social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are blocked by the government’s firewalls, as well as various news outlets. If you want to share your travel experiences with your friends and family, follow this guide to get around the blocks and access the sites that you want to.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Installing a VPN\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a VPN service that fits your needs.\", \"描述\": \"A VPN (Virtual Private Network) is an encrypted connection to a remote server that allow you to access the internet from behind restrictive firewalls. VPNs affect all of your internet traffic, which means Skype and other messaging services are not stuck behind the firewall either. VPNs are not free, but some offer monthly plans as opposed to yearly fee, which can be very useful for travelers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check that the VPN you want works in China.\", \"描述\": \"Some of the major VPN servers have been blocked by the Chinese government and are no longer accessible. Check with the company that you are signing up with and read reviews of the service online.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Download any necessary software.\", \"描述\": \"Some VPN services will provide you with a VPN client that needs to be installed on your computer. Others will provide you connection information that you can enter into Windows’ or Mac’s connection manager.\\nIdeally, you should download and install your VPN software before you visit China. Many of the popular VPN programs are blocked, preventing you from signing up or downloading any clients. Setting your VPN up outside of China will make it easier to contact customer support if there are any issues.\\nSome VPN services offer mobile apps that you can use on your iPhone, iPad, or Android device.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Connect to your VPN.\", \"描述\": \"Either run the client, or enter your VPN information into your operating system’s connection settings. VPN clients that are provided with the service are already pre-configured and only require you to enter your login information.\\nFor Windows, search for VPN on your computer and then select “Set up a virtual private network (VPN) connection” (Windows Vista/7) or “Add a VPN connection” (Windows 8). Enter your connection information. Your VPN service should have provided you with a server to connect to, as well as a username and password. Enter these into the VPN connection settings\\nFor Mac OS X, click the Apple menu and select System Preferences. Click on Network. Click the Add (+) button at the bottom of the list, and then select VPN from the list of options. Choose the type of VPN you are connecting to. This will be provided by your VPN service. Enter your VPN settings, including the server you are connecting to and your username and password.\\nClick Connect to connect to your VPN. Most VPNs should connect automatically. If you cannot establish a connection, contact your VPN’s support service to troubleshoot the problem.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Visit Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"Once your VPN is connected, you can visit any of the blocked sites that weren't previously accessible, as well as use any other internet-enabled programs such as Skype. You may notice a slow connection, but this is normal due to the distance between yourself and the VPN server.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using a Web-Based Proxy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try free proxies.\", \"描述\": \"A proxy is a website, often based in a different location than you, that will let you access other sites through it. So if your proxy is in the USA, and you access Facebook through it, it should be like accessing Facebook in the USA. Here is a list of free proxies for you to try. You should try them first, because why pay - but you may find they're not a great solution to access Facebook in China because:\\nChina keeps finding and blocking them too.\\nThey often don't have good enough programming to handle the technology of social media\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try a secure proxy.\", \"描述\": \"Benefit of a proxy like this (as opposed to a VPN, which we talked about in the previous step) is that there's nothing to install on your computer - it's all web-based.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Downloading the Tor Browser\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download the Tor browser bundle.\", \"描述\": \"Tor is a free distributed network that keeps you anonymous while you while you are connected through the browser. Information is bounced between a large number of relays that exist all over the globe. Tor allows you to bypass any firewalls or restrictions placed on your connection. The drawback is that websites load slowly, as the data has to travel great distances to reach you.\\nThe Tor browser bundle is a self-contained program that does not need to be installed. You can place it onto a USB drive and plug it into any computer. The browser bundle is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Run the browser.\", \"描述\": \"The Tor browser is a modified version of Firefox, and shares a lot of interface similarities with it. When you run the browser program, a window will appear showing the status of the Tor connection. Once the connection is established, the browser will open.\\nOnly traffic sent through the Tor browser will be sent through the Tor network. That means that Internet Explorer, Chrome, Safari, or any other browser will not be anonymous through the Tor network while Tor is running.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check that you are connected.\", \"描述\": \"Once the browser window opens, you should see a page confirming that you are successfully connected to Tor. You should now be able to access sites that were previously blocked. Closing the browser window will stop Tor from running\\nWhile data in the Tor network is encrypted, it cannot decrypt data leaving the Tor network. That means that any secure transactions that you need to make are just as vulnerable as they are on the regular internet. Only give out personal information to sites with SSL enabled. You will see HTTPS:// instead of HTTP:// and your browser address field will display a security lock.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It is highly recommended that you change the passwords for all the services that you accessed in China once you leave.\\n\", \"Try not to use so-called free VPN services. A lot of them are frauds.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Bypassing the Chinese government's firewall is technically illegal and you may experience legal repercussions, though checking Facebook will most likely not cause any problems. Use this guide at your own risk.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
180 | How to Access Find My iPhone from a Computer | 1. Accessing Find My iPhone
1-1. Go to https://www.icloud.com/find in a web browser.
You can sign in to Find My iPhone from any computer.
1-2. Log in with your Apple ID and password.
Because Find My iPhone doesn't require two-step authentication to sign in, you won't have to worry about entering a verification code from your trusted device.
If you're asked to enter the code that was sent to another trusted device but don't have that device, select under the "Or get quick access to" header.
1-3. Select the iPhone you want to track.
If you only have one device, wait a few moments for its location to appear on the map. If you have several devices, click centered at the top of your screen, and then click the device you want to locate.
2. Using Find My iPhone
2-1. Make your iPhone ring.
“Play Sound” can be used when you have placed your iPhone somewhere nearby, but you don’t remember where. Clicking on “Play Sound” will make your device ring at its highest volume so that you can find it by following the sound.
2-2. Have your device go into Lost Mode.
“Lost Mode” is helpful when you think you have lost your iPhone. When this is enabled, it will lock your device. You will be asked to input a new passcode for your iPhone, so enter a 4-digit PIN in the provided field. Re-enter the PIN to confirm it.
After setting the passcode, you will be asked to enter the contact number that the person who has or finds your phone can call you with. Enter this into the “Number” field. When you’re done, click “Next.”
You will then be shown the message that will be displayed on your lost iPhone. You can edit the message if you want, and click “Done” to save. Your iPhone will then be locked and will display your message, along with your contact number, on the screen.
Your device will be inaccessible without the new passcode, but it can be used to call the contact number you provide.
2-3. Erase your device data.
“Erase iPhone” can be used as the last option. When you think you have lost your iPhone and won’t get it back, you can use this function as a safety measure. “Erase iPhone” will erase all the data, including your applications, messages, multimedia, contacts, settings, etc., stored in your iPhone so that no one can access or misuse your personal data.
You can only track your iPhone if it's on and charged. If it's off or lost the charge, you'll see that it's offline. You can then opt to receive a notification when it turns on or gets a charge and then you can track it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing Find My iPhone\\n1-1. Go to https://www.icloud.com/find in a web browser.\\nYou can sign in to Find My iPhone from any computer.\\n1-2. Log in with your Apple ID and password.\\nBecause Find My iPhone doesn't require two-step authentication to sign in, you won't have to worry about entering a verification code from your trusted device.\\nIf you're asked to enter the code that was sent to another trusted device but don't have that device, select under the \\\"Or get quick access to\\\" header.\\n1-3. Select the iPhone you want to track.\\nIf you only have one device, wait a few moments for its location to appear on the map. If you have several devices, click centered at the top of your screen, and then click the device you want to locate.\\n2. Using Find My iPhone\\n2-1. Make your iPhone ring.\\n“Play Sound” can be used when you have placed your iPhone somewhere nearby, but you don’t remember where. Clicking on “Play Sound” will make your device ring at its highest volume so that you can find it by following the sound.\\n2-2. Have your device go into Lost Mode.\\n“Lost Mode” is helpful when you think you have lost your iPhone. When this is enabled, it will lock your device. You will be asked to input a new passcode for your iPhone, so enter a 4-digit PIN in the provided field. Re-enter the PIN to confirm it.\\nAfter setting the passcode, you will be asked to enter the contact number that the person who has or finds your phone can call you with. Enter this into the “Number” field. When you’re done, click “Next.”\\nYou will then be shown the message that will be displayed on your lost iPhone. You can edit the message if you want, and click “Done” to save. Your iPhone will then be locked and will display your message, along with your contact number, on the screen.\\nYour device will be inaccessible without the new passcode, but it can be used to call the contact number you provide.\\n2-3. Erase your device data.\\n“Erase iPhone” can be used as the last option. When you think you have lost your iPhone and won’t get it back, you can use this function as a safety measure. “Erase iPhone” will erase all the data, including your applications, messages, multimedia, contacts, settings, etc., stored in your iPhone so that no one can access or misuse your personal data.\\nYou can only track your iPhone if it's on and charged. If it's off or lost the charge, you'll see that it's offline. You can then opt to receive a notification when it turns on or gets a charge and then you can track it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you trying to recover your lost phone via Find My iPhone? This feature was introduced to help iPhone owners keep track of their lost phones, and it's easier than ever with iCloud on a computer. This wikiHow article teaches you how to access Find My iPhone from a computer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing Find My iPhone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.icloud.com/find in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can sign in to Find My iPhone from any computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Log in with your Apple ID and password.\", \"描述\": \"Because Find My iPhone doesn't require two-step authentication to sign in, you won't have to worry about entering a verification code from your trusted device.\\nIf you're asked to enter the code that was sent to another trusted device but don't have that device, select under the \\\"Or get quick access to\\\" header.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select the iPhone you want to track.\", \"描述\": \"If you only have one device, wait a few moments for its location to appear on the map. If you have several devices, click centered at the top of your screen, and then click the device you want to locate.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Find My iPhone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your iPhone ring.\", \"描述\": \"“Play Sound” can be used when you have placed your iPhone somewhere nearby, but you don’t remember where. Clicking on “Play Sound” will make your device ring at its highest volume so that you can find it by following the sound.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have your device go into Lost Mode.\", \"描述\": \"“Lost Mode” is helpful when you think you have lost your iPhone. When this is enabled, it will lock your device. You will be asked to input a new passcode for your iPhone, so enter a 4-digit PIN in the provided field. Re-enter the PIN to confirm it.\\nAfter setting the passcode, you will be asked to enter the contact number that the person who has or finds your phone can call you with. Enter this into the “Number” field. When you’re done, click “Next.”\\nYou will then be shown the message that will be displayed on your lost iPhone. You can edit the message if you want, and click “Done” to save. Your iPhone will then be locked and will display your message, along with your contact number, on the screen.\\nYour device will be inaccessible without the new passcode, but it can be used to call the contact number you provide.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Erase your device data.\", \"描述\": \"“Erase iPhone” can be used as the last option. When you think you have lost your iPhone and won’t get it back, you can use this function as a safety measure. “Erase iPhone” will erase all the data, including your applications, messages, multimedia, contacts, settings, etc., stored in your iPhone so that no one can access or misuse your personal data.\\nYou can only track your iPhone if it's on and charged. If it's off or lost the charge, you'll see that it's offline. You can then opt to receive a notification when it turns on or gets a charge and then you can track it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
181 | How to Access Gmail: Getting Started & Adding Multiple Accounts | 1. Desktop
1-1. Open Gmail.
Go to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open the Gmail login page.
If you want to open Gmail on a computer, you can do so from any web browser (e.g., Firefox, Safari, Chrome, etc.).
If you want to use Google-specific features of Gmail, such as offline mail, you'll need to open Gmail in Google Chrome.
If you haven’t yet, you’ll need to create a Gmail account. You can also check out our guide on how to send an email in Gmail.
1-2. Enter your email address.
Type your Gmail email address into the "Email or phone" text box in the middle of the page.
If you don’t remember your email, click below the email entry box.
If you don’t know your password, click to reset your Gmail password.
1-3. Click Next.
It's the blue button below the "Email or phone" text box. This will take you to the password entry page.
1-4. Enter your password.
Type in the password used to access your Gmail account.
1-5. Click Next.
It's below the password entry box. This will open your Gmail inbox.
2. iPhone
2-1. Tap Search in the App Store.
It's a tab at the bottom of the screen. Doing so brings up the Search page.
If you already have the Gmail app installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.
2-2. Search for Gmail.
Tap the search bar at the top of the screen, then type in gmail. Tap on the keyboard to see the results.
2-3. Tap GET.
It's to the right of the "Gmail - Email by Google" heading. The Gmail app icon is a multicolor “M” on a white background.
2-4. Sign in to Apple ID.
If you’re prompted to sign-in, enter your Apple ID password to confirm the Gmail app download.
If you have Touch ID set up, you can use your fingerprint to sign in instead.
2-5. Open Gmail.
Tap in the App Store, or tap the Gmail app icon on your iPhone's Home screen.
2-6. Tap SIGN IN.
It's at the bottom of the screen.
2-7. Sign in to Gmail.
If there's no Google Account signed in on your iPhone, select the option when prompted. Then do the following:
Enter your Gmail email address.
Tap .
Enter your Gmail password. You can reset or recover it if needed.
Tap .
If you see your Google Account listed on Gmail, you can skip the login process by tapping the switch button to the right of your account's name.
2-8. Wait for your inbox to load.
Once you're done signing into Gmail, your inbox should load within a few seconds.
3. Android
3-1. Download Gmail.
Get the official Gmail app from the Google Play store (or your preferred Android app store).
If Gmail is already installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.
You can check by opening the App Drawer by tapping {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/0\/0f\/Android7apps.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0f\/Android7apps.png\/30px-Android7apps.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":460,"bigWidth":30,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fair_use\">Fair Use<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"} on the Home screen (or by swiping up on some Androids). Most Androids come with Gmail installed.
3-2. Open Gmail.
Tap the Gmail app icon on your home screen or in the App Drawer.
3-3. Tap Sign in.
It's at the bottom of the screen.
If you aren't currently logged into your preferred Google Account on your Android, you can instead tap , tap , and enter your email address and password when prompted.
3-4. Enter your Email.
Type in your Gmail email address when prompted. Then. tap .
3-5. Enter your password.
If asked for your Gmail password to log in, type it into the provided text field and tap .
Since you use your Google Account to log into your Android itself, you usually won't need to enter your password.
3-6. Wait for your inbox to load.
Once you've finished selecting your account and logging in, your Gmail inbox should load within a few seconds.
4. Add Accounts on Desktop
4-1. Open Gmail.
Go to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open your Gmail inbox if you're logged in.
If you aren't logged in, enter your email address and password when prompted.
4-2. Click the profile button.
It's the circle icon in the top right corner of the page. Clicking it opens a drop-down menu.
4-3. Click Add another account.
Doing so opens a new sign-in page.
4-4. Enter the Gmail email address.
Type in the email address of the Gmail account you want to add.
4-5. Click Next.
It's the blue button below the "Email or phone" text box.
4-6. Enter your password.
Type in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.
4-7. Click Next.
It's below the Password text box. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.
4-8. Switch between accounts.
If you want to switch between signed-in accounts, click the profile button, then click the account you want to view.
5. Add Accounts on Mobile
5-1. Tap the profile button.
It’s the circle icon in the top right of the Gmail app.
5-2. Tap Add another account.
It’s next to the person icon with a plus sign.
5-3. Tap Google.
It's at the top of the list of options.
You may be prompted to allow Google to sign you in. If so, tap or .
5-4. Enter your email address.
Tap the "Email or phone" text box, then type in the email address for the account you want to use.
5-5. Tap Next.
It's below the email entry box.
5-6. Enter your password.
Type in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.
5-7. Tap Next.
It's at the bottom of the page. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.
5-8. Switch between accounts.
If you want to switch to a different signed-in account, tap the profile button. Then, tap an account in the profile menu.
Tips
You can also set up Gmail for offline use on a computer if you want to be able to access your emails while you don't have Internet access.
For more Gmail info, check out how to change your password and find old emails.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Desktop\\n1-1. Open Gmail.\\nGo to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open the Gmail login page.\\nIf you want to open Gmail on a computer, you can do so from any web browser (e.g., Firefox, Safari, Chrome, etc.).\\nIf you want to use Google-specific features of Gmail, such as offline mail, you'll need to open Gmail in Google Chrome.\\nIf you haven’t yet, you’ll need to create a Gmail account. You can also check out our guide on how to send an email in Gmail.\\n1-2. Enter your email address.\\nType your Gmail email address into the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box in the middle of the page.\\nIf you don’t remember your email, click below the email entry box.\\nIf you don’t know your password, click to reset your Gmail password.\\n1-3. Click Next.\\nIt's the blue button below the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box. This will take you to the password entry page.\\n1-4. Enter your password.\\nType in the password used to access your Gmail account.\\n1-5. Click Next.\\nIt's below the password entry box. This will open your Gmail inbox.\\n2. iPhone\\n2-1. Tap Search in the App Store.\\nIt's a tab at the bottom of the screen. Doing so brings up the Search page.\\nIf you already have the Gmail app installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.\\n2-2. Search for Gmail.\\nTap the search bar at the top of the screen, then type in gmail. Tap on the keyboard to see the results.\\n2-3. Tap GET.\\nIt's to the right of the \\\"Gmail - Email by Google\\\" heading. The Gmail app icon is a multicolor “M” on a white background.\\n2-4. Sign in to Apple ID.\\nIf you’re prompted to sign-in, enter your Apple ID password to confirm the Gmail app download.\\nIf you have Touch ID set up, you can use your fingerprint to sign in instead.\\n2-5. Open Gmail.\\nTap in the App Store, or tap the Gmail app icon on your iPhone's Home screen.\\n2-6. Tap SIGN IN.\\nIt's at the bottom of the screen.\\n2-7. Sign in to Gmail.\\nIf there's no Google Account signed in on your iPhone, select the option when prompted. Then do the following:\\nEnter your Gmail email address.\\nTap .\\nEnter your Gmail password. You can reset or recover it if needed.\\nTap .\\nIf you see your Google Account listed on Gmail, you can skip the login process by tapping the switch button to the right of your account's name.\\n2-8. Wait for your inbox to load.\\nOnce you're done signing into Gmail, your inbox should load within a few seconds.\\n3. Android\\n3-1. Download Gmail.\\nGet the official Gmail app from the Google Play store (or your preferred Android app store).\\nIf Gmail is already installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.\\nYou can check by opening the App Drawer by tapping {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/0\\\\/0f\\\\/Android7apps.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/0\\\\/0f\\\\/Android7apps.png\\\\/30px-Android7apps.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} on the Home screen (or by swiping up on some Androids). Most Androids come with Gmail installed.\\n3-2. Open Gmail.\\nTap the Gmail app icon on your home screen or in the App Drawer.\\n3-3. Tap Sign in.\\nIt's at the bottom of the screen.\\nIf you aren't currently logged into your preferred Google Account on your Android, you can instead tap , tap , and enter your email address and password when prompted.\\n3-4. Enter your Email.\\nType in your Gmail email address when prompted. Then. tap .\\n3-5. Enter your password.\\nIf asked for your Gmail password to log in, type it into the provided text field and tap .\\nSince you use your Google Account to log into your Android itself, you usually won't need to enter your password.\\n3-6. Wait for your inbox to load.\\nOnce you've finished selecting your account and logging in, your Gmail inbox should load within a few seconds.\\n4. Add Accounts on Desktop\\n4-1. Open Gmail.\\nGo to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open your Gmail inbox if you're logged in.\\nIf you aren't logged in, enter your email address and password when prompted.\\n4-2. Click the profile button.\\nIt's the circle icon in the top right corner of the page. Clicking it opens a drop-down menu.\\n4-3. Click Add another account.\\nDoing so opens a new sign-in page.\\n4-4. Enter the Gmail email address.\\nType in the email address of the Gmail account you want to add.\\n4-5. Click Next.\\nIt's the blue button below the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box.\\n4-6. Enter your password.\\nType in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.\\n4-7. Click Next.\\nIt's below the Password text box. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.\\n4-8. Switch between accounts.\\nIf you want to switch between signed-in accounts, click the profile button, then click the account you want to view.\\n5. Add Accounts on Mobile\\n5-1. Tap the profile button.\\nIt’s the circle icon in the top right of the Gmail app.\\n5-2. Tap Add another account.\\nIt’s next to the person icon with a plus sign.\\n5-3. Tap Google.\\nIt's at the top of the list of options.\\nYou may be prompted to allow Google to sign you in. If so, tap or .\\n5-4. Enter your email address.\\nTap the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box, then type in the email address for the account you want to use.\\n5-5. Tap Next.\\nIt's below the email entry box.\\n5-6. Enter your password.\\nType in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.\\n5-7. Tap Next.\\nIt's at the bottom of the page. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.\\n5-8. Switch between accounts.\\nIf you want to switch to a different signed-in account, tap the profile button. Then, tap an account in the profile menu.\\nTips\\nYou can also set up Gmail for offline use on a computer if you want to be able to access your emails while you don't have Internet access.\\nFor more Gmail info, check out how to change your password and find old emails.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Gmail, Google’s email platform, is available on desktop, iPhone, and Android. Signing in is an easy process! Have your Gmail email address and password on hand. This wikiHow will show you how to access Gmail and add additional accounts.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Go to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open the Gmail login page.\\nIf you want to open Gmail on a computer, you can do so from any web browser (e.g., Firefox, Safari, Chrome, etc.).\\nIf you want to use Google-specific features of Gmail, such as offline mail, you'll need to open Gmail in Google Chrome.\\nIf you haven’t yet, you’ll need to create a Gmail account. You can also check out our guide on how to send an email in Gmail.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enter your email address.\", \"描述\": \"Type your Gmail email address into the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box in the middle of the page.\\nIf you don’t remember your email, click below the email entry box.\\nIf you don’t know your password, click to reset your Gmail password.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's the blue button below the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box. This will take you to the password entry page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter your password.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the password used to access your Gmail account.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's below the password entry box. This will open your Gmail inbox.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"iPhone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap Search in the App Store.\", \"描述\": \"It's a tab at the bottom of the screen. Doing so brings up the Search page.\\nIf you already have the Gmail app installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Search for Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the search bar at the top of the screen, then type in gmail. Tap on the keyboard to see the results.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap GET.\", \"描述\": \"It's to the right of the \\\"Gmail - Email by Google\\\" heading. The Gmail app icon is a multicolor “M” on a white background.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Apple ID.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re prompted to sign-in, enter your Apple ID password to confirm the Gmail app download.\\nIf you have Touch ID set up, you can use your fingerprint to sign in instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Open Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Tap in the App Store, or tap the Gmail app icon on your iPhone's Home screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap SIGN IN.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"If there's no Google Account signed in on your iPhone, select the option when prompted. Then do the following:\\nEnter your Gmail email address.\\nTap .\\nEnter your Gmail password. You can reset or recover it if needed.\\nTap .\\nIf you see your Google Account listed on Gmail, you can skip the login process by tapping the switch button to the right of your account's name.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Wait for your inbox to load.\", \"描述\": \"Once you're done signing into Gmail, your inbox should load within a few seconds.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Android\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Get the official Gmail app from the Google Play store (or your preferred Android app store).\\nIf Gmail is already installed, skip to the Gmail sign-in step below.\\nYou can check by opening the App Drawer by tapping {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/0\\\\/0f\\\\/Android7apps.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/0\\\\/0f\\\\/Android7apps.png\\\\/30px-Android7apps.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} on the Home screen (or by swiping up on some Androids). Most Androids come with Gmail installed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the Gmail app icon on your home screen or in the App Drawer.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Sign in.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the screen.\\nIf you aren't currently logged into your preferred Google Account on your Android, you can instead tap , tap , and enter your email address and password when prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter your Email.\", \"描述\": \"Type in your Gmail email address when prompted. Then. tap .\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enter your password.\", \"描述\": \"If asked for your Gmail password to log in, type it into the provided text field and tap .\\nSince you use your Google Account to log into your Android itself, you usually won't need to enter your password.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wait for your inbox to load.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've finished selecting your account and logging in, your Gmail inbox should load within a few seconds.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add Accounts on Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Gmail.\", \"描述\": \"Go to https://www.gmail.com/ in your web browser. This will open your Gmail inbox if you're logged in.\\nIf you aren't logged in, enter your email address and password when prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the profile button.\", \"描述\": \"It's the circle icon in the top right corner of the page. Clicking it opens a drop-down menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click Add another account.\", \"描述\": \"Doing so opens a new sign-in page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter the Gmail email address.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the email address of the Gmail account you want to add.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's the blue button below the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enter your password.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's below the Password text box. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Switch between accounts.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to switch between signed-in accounts, click the profile button, then click the account you want to view.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Add Accounts on Mobile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap the profile button.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the circle icon in the top right of the Gmail app.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap Add another account.\", \"描述\": \"It’s next to the person icon with a plus sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Google.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the top of the list of options.\\nYou may be prompted to allow Google to sign you in. If so, tap or .\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter your email address.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the \\\"Email or phone\\\" text box, then type in the email address for the account you want to use.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's below the email entry box.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enter your password.\", \"描述\": \"Type in the password you use to log into your Gmail account.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom of the page. Doing so will both add the account to your list of currently signed-in accounts, and open the account's inbox.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Switch between accounts.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to switch to a different signed-in account, tap the profile button. Then, tap an account in the profile menu.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can also set up Gmail for offline use on a computer if you want to be able to access your emails while you don't have Internet access.\\n\", \"For more Gmail info, check out how to change your password and find old emails.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
182 | How to Access Gmail With Mozilla Thunderbird | 1. Steps
1-1. Make sure to Enable IMAP in Gmail and click Save Changes when you're done.
1-2. Open Thunderbird.
1-3. Click the Tools menu, and select Account Settings...
1-4. Select Add Mail Account...
from the drop-down list located under the account list on the left.
1-5. The first dialog in Thunderbird’s Automatic Account Configuration will be displayed.
Enter your name, your Gmail email address and your password. Click Continue.
Thunderbird will query the Gmail server2 and automatically configure the appropriate IMAP connection settings for your account. When complete, Thunderbird will show you a confirmation dialog.
1-6. Confirm that the connection settings are the same as those shown above and click "Done".
1-7. Check out Google's recommended client settings, and adjust your client's settings as needed.
Tips
MAP: IMAP (Internet message access protocol) lets you download messages from Gmail so you can access your mail with a program like Outlook Express or Apple Mail. IMAP syncs the actions you take in Outlook Express or Apple Mail with Gmail so if you read a message in your mail client, it'll be marked as read in Gmail.
Mail server: A mail server is a machine that sends and receives emails. Think of a mail server as a mail carrier who makes sure messages go to the right place.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Make sure to Enable IMAP in Gmail and click Save Changes when you're done.\\n\\n1-2. Open Thunderbird.\\n\\n1-3. Click the Tools menu, and select Account Settings...\\n\\n1-4. Select Add Mail Account...\\nfrom the drop-down list located under the account list on the left.\\n1-5. The first dialog in Thunderbird’s Automatic Account Configuration will be displayed.\\nEnter your name, your Gmail email address and your password. Click Continue.\\nThunderbird will query the Gmail server2 and automatically configure the appropriate IMAP connection settings for your account. When complete, Thunderbird will show you a confirmation dialog.\\n1-6. Confirm that the connection settings are the same as those shown above and click \\\"Done\\\".\\n\\n1-7. Check out Google's recommended client settings, and adjust your client's settings as needed.\\n\\nTips\\nMAP: IMAP (Internet message access protocol) lets you download messages from Gmail so you can access your mail with a program like Outlook Express or Apple Mail. IMAP syncs the actions you take in Outlook Express or Apple Mail with Gmail so if you read a message in your mail client, it'll be marked as read in Gmail.\\nMail server: A mail server is a machine that sends and receives emails. Think of a mail server as a mail carrier who makes sure messages go to the right place.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The following guide can help you access Gmail with certain settings. *Please note that with Thunderbird 3.0, you'll automatically be configured with IMAP. If you’d like to add additional email accounts with IMAP1 access, please see the instructions below.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure to Enable IMAP in Gmail and click Save Changes when you're done.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open Thunderbird.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the Tools menu, and select Account Settings...\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select Add Mail Account...\", \"描述\": \"from the drop-down list located under the account list on the left.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"The first dialog in Thunderbird’s Automatic Account Configuration will be displayed.\", \"描述\": \"Enter your name, your Gmail email address and your password. Click Continue.\\nThunderbird will query the Gmail server2 and automatically configure the appropriate IMAP connection settings for your account. When complete, Thunderbird will show you a confirmation dialog.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Confirm that the connection settings are the same as those shown above and click \\\"Done\\\".\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Check out Google's recommended client settings, and adjust your client's settings as needed.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"MAP: IMAP (Internet message access protocol) lets you download messages from Gmail so you can access your mail with a program like Outlook Express or Apple Mail. IMAP syncs the actions you take in Outlook Express or Apple Mail with Gmail so if you read a message in your mail client, it'll be marked as read in Gmail.\\n\", \"Mail server: A mail server is a machine that sends and receives emails. Think of a mail server as a mail carrier who makes sure messages go to the right place.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
183 | How to Access Gmail in Outlook 2010 | 1. Setting Up Gmail
1-1. Sign in to https://www.gmail.com on your computer.
Before you can add your Gmail account to Outlook, you'll need to make a few tweaks to your Gmail settings.
If you're not already signed in to your Gmail account, follow the on-screen instructions to do so now.
1-2. Click Settings .
It's the gear icon at the top-right corner of Gmail.
1-3. Click See all settings at the top of the menu.
1-4. Click the Forwarding and POP/IMAP tab.
It's the horizontal menu that runs across the top of the Settings page.
1-5. Select Enable IMAP.
It's in the "IMAP access" section. This allows you to check your mail in other apps, including Outlook 2010.
1-6. Scroll down and click Save Changes.
Now that you've made this change, you can start setting up Outlook.
2. Adding Gmail to Outlook 2020
2-1. Open Microsoft Outlook 2010 on your computer.
It'll be in the Microsoft Office folder in the Start menu.
2-2. Navigate to the New Account screen.
The steps are different depending on whether you've added an account to Outlook or not:
If this is your first time setting up Outlook, you'll probably see the "Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup" window. Click on this window, select , and then click .
If you see the main screen or inbox instead of the "Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup" screen, click the menu at the top-left corner, then select near the top of the "Account Information" panel.
2-3. Select "Manually configure server settings or additional server types" and click Next.
It's the option at the bottom of the screen.
2-4. Select "Internet E-mail" and click Next.
It's the first option.
2-5. Enter your name and Gmail email address.
Type your name the way you wish it to appear to other people. Then, type your full Gmail address into the "Email address" field.
2-6. Select IMAP from the "Account Type" menu.
It's in the "Server Information" section.
2-7. Enter the Gmail server information into the blanks.
The information is:
The incoming mail server is imap.gmail.com.
The outgoing mail server (SMTP) is smtp.gmail.com.
Type your Gmail address into the "User Name" field.
Enter your Gmail password into the "Password" field.
2-8. Click More Settings.
It's at the bottom-right corner of the window.
2-9. Click the Outgoing Server tab.
It's the second tab at the top of the window.
2-10. Enter information for your outgoing mail.
The information is as follows:
Check the box next to "My outgoing server (SMTP) requires authentication."
Select .
2-11. Click the Advanced tab.
It's the final tab in the window.
2-12. Enter the required port and authentication information.
The information is as follows:
The Incoming server (IMAP) port should be 993.
Check the box next to "This server requires an encrypted connection (SSL)."
The Outgoing server (SMTP) port should be 465.
Select from the "Use the following type of encrypted connection" menu.
2-13. Click OK to return to the previous screen.
2-14. Click Next to finish adding the account.
Outlook will now attempt to test your account settings. If everything is working properly, you will see a "Congratulations!" screen and can start using your account. Click to close the window, and click the tab to head to your inbox.
If the test is unsuccessful, return to your settings and make sure you've entered everything correctly. You also may to enable "Less secure app access in your Gmail settings" if the problem continues, which you can do at https://myaccount.google.com/lesssecureapps.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting Up Gmail\\n1-1. Sign in to https://www.gmail.com on your computer.\\nBefore you can add your Gmail account to Outlook, you'll need to make a few tweaks to your Gmail settings.\\nIf you're not already signed in to your Gmail account, follow the on-screen instructions to do so now.\\n1-2. Click Settings .\\nIt's the gear icon at the top-right corner of Gmail.\\n1-3. Click See all settings at the top of the menu.\\n\\n1-4. Click the Forwarding and POP/IMAP tab.\\nIt's the horizontal menu that runs across the top of the Settings page.\\n1-5. Select Enable IMAP.\\nIt's in the \\\"IMAP access\\\" section. This allows you to check your mail in other apps, including Outlook 2010.\\n1-6. Scroll down and click Save Changes.\\nNow that you've made this change, you can start setting up Outlook.\\n2. Adding Gmail to Outlook 2020\\n2-1. Open Microsoft Outlook 2010 on your computer.\\nIt'll be in the Microsoft Office folder in the Start menu.\\n2-2. Navigate to the New Account screen.\\nThe steps are different depending on whether you've added an account to Outlook or not:\\nIf this is your first time setting up Outlook, you'll probably see the \\\"Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup\\\" window. Click on this window, select , and then click .\\nIf you see the main screen or inbox instead of the \\\"Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup\\\" screen, click the menu at the top-left corner, then select near the top of the \\\"Account Information\\\" panel.\\n2-3. Select \\\"Manually configure server settings or additional server types\\\" and click Next.\\nIt's the option at the bottom of the screen.\\n2-4. Select \\\"Internet E-mail\\\" and click Next.\\nIt's the first option.\\n2-5. Enter your name and Gmail email address.\\nType your name the way you wish it to appear to other people. Then, type your full Gmail address into the \\\"Email address\\\" field.\\n2-6. Select IMAP from the \\\"Account Type\\\" menu.\\nIt's in the \\\"Server Information\\\" section.\\n2-7. Enter the Gmail server information into the blanks.\\nThe information is:\\nThe incoming mail server is imap.gmail.com.\\nThe outgoing mail server (SMTP) is smtp.gmail.com.\\nType your Gmail address into the \\\"User Name\\\" field.\\nEnter your Gmail password into the \\\"Password\\\" field.\\n2-8. Click More Settings.\\nIt's at the bottom-right corner of the window.\\n2-9. Click the Outgoing Server tab.\\nIt's the second tab at the top of the window.\\n2-10. Enter information for your outgoing mail.\\nThe information is as follows:\\nCheck the box next to \\\"My outgoing server (SMTP) requires authentication.\\\"\\nSelect .\\n2-11. Click the Advanced tab.\\nIt's the final tab in the window.\\n2-12. Enter the required port and authentication information.\\nThe information is as follows:\\nThe Incoming server (IMAP) port should be 993.\\nCheck the box next to \\\"This server requires an encrypted connection (SSL).\\\"\\nThe Outgoing server (SMTP) port should be 465.\\nSelect from the \\\"Use the following type of encrypted connection\\\" menu.\\n2-13. Click OK to return to the previous screen.\\n\\n2-14. Click Next to finish adding the account.\\nOutlook will now attempt to test your account settings. If everything is working properly, you will see a \\\"Congratulations!\\\" screen and can start using your account. Click to close the window, and click the tab to head to your inbox.\\nIf the test is unsuccessful, return to your settings and make sure you've entered everything correctly. You also may to enable \\\"Less secure app access in your Gmail settings\\\" if the problem continues, which you can do at https://myaccount.google.com/lesssecureapps.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to use Microsoft Outlook 2010 to send and receive messages through your Gmail account. Adding a Gmail account requires some special security settings that may not be required by other email services. Before you can add your Gmail account, you'll also need to make some quick settings changes in Gmail on the web.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting Up Gmail\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sign in to https://www.gmail.com on your computer.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can add your Gmail account to Outlook, you'll need to make a few tweaks to your Gmail settings.\\nIf you're not already signed in to your Gmail account, follow the on-screen instructions to do so now.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click Settings .\", \"描述\": \"It's the gear icon at the top-right corner of Gmail.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click See all settings at the top of the menu.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the Forwarding and POP/IMAP tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's the horizontal menu that runs across the top of the Settings page.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select Enable IMAP.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the \\\"IMAP access\\\" section. This allows you to check your mail in other apps, including Outlook 2010.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Scroll down and click Save Changes.\", \"描述\": \"Now that you've made this change, you can start setting up Outlook.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Adding Gmail to Outlook 2020\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Microsoft Outlook 2010 on your computer.\", \"描述\": \"It'll be in the Microsoft Office folder in the Start menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Navigate to the New Account screen.\", \"描述\": \"The steps are different depending on whether you've added an account to Outlook or not:\\nIf this is your first time setting up Outlook, you'll probably see the \\\"Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup\\\" window. Click on this window, select , and then click .\\nIf you see the main screen or inbox instead of the \\\"Microsoft Outlook 2010 Startup\\\" screen, click the menu at the top-left corner, then select near the top of the \\\"Account Information\\\" panel.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select \\\"Manually configure server settings or additional server types\\\" and click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's the option at the bottom of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select \\\"Internet E-mail\\\" and click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's the first option.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Enter your name and Gmail email address.\", \"描述\": \"Type your name the way you wish it to appear to other people. Then, type your full Gmail address into the \\\"Email address\\\" field.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select IMAP from the \\\"Account Type\\\" menu.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the \\\"Server Information\\\" section.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Enter the Gmail server information into the blanks.\", \"描述\": \"The information is:\\nThe incoming mail server is imap.gmail.com.\\nThe outgoing mail server (SMTP) is smtp.gmail.com.\\nType your Gmail address into the \\\"User Name\\\" field.\\nEnter your Gmail password into the \\\"Password\\\" field.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click More Settings.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom-right corner of the window.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click the Outgoing Server tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's the second tab at the top of the window.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Enter information for your outgoing mail.\", \"描述\": \"The information is as follows:\\nCheck the box next to \\\"My outgoing server (SMTP) requires authentication.\\\"\\nSelect .\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Click the Advanced tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's the final tab in the window.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Enter the required port and authentication information.\", \"描述\": \"The information is as follows:\\nThe Incoming server (IMAP) port should be 993.\\nCheck the box next to \\\"This server requires an encrypted connection (SSL).\\\"\\nThe Outgoing server (SMTP) port should be 465.\\nSelect from the \\\"Use the following type of encrypted connection\\\" menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Click OK to return to the previous screen.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Click Next to finish adding the account.\", \"描述\": \"Outlook will now attempt to test your account settings. If everything is working properly, you will see a \\\"Congratulations!\\\" screen and can start using your account. Click to close the window, and click the tab to head to your inbox.\\nIf the test is unsuccessful, return to your settings and make sure you've entered everything correctly. You also may to enable \\\"Less secure app access in your Gmail settings\\\" if the problem continues, which you can do at https://myaccount.google.com/lesssecureapps.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
184 | How to Access Google Accounts on Android | 1. Steps
1-1. Open a web browser on your Android device.
You can use any web browser you have installed.
1-2. Go to the Google Accounts Page.
Once the browser is open, search Google Accounts. This should lead you to the Google Accounts page. Once the page finishes loading, you should see a series of different options and menus you can access in the list given.
1-3. Log into the Google account.
If you are not already logged into the Google account you are trying to access, you may be asked to do so before the account options will be displayed. You should automatically be taken to a Google login page where you will need to enter the Gmail address associated with the account you are trying to access, as well as the password for the account. Click the blue “Login” button to continue.
1-4. View the account options.
Once the Google Accounts page has finished loading, you should be able to scroll down the page and view all the options available. These options should be identical to the options available to you on your PC. From this page, you can change passwords, secret questions, notifications and alerts, and much more.
1-5. Edit the account if you want.
You can edit your account information by selecting any of the options listed.
1-6. Log in again to edit information.
If you have logged in the past, the browser may remember your credentials (Gmail email address and password) automatically. However, if you try to access and change any information on your Google account, like the account password, you will be asked to log in again.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Open a web browser on your Android device.\\nYou can use any web browser you have installed.\\n1-2. Go to the Google Accounts Page.\\nOnce the browser is open, search Google Accounts. This should lead you to the Google Accounts page. Once the page finishes loading, you should see a series of different options and menus you can access in the list given.\\n1-3. Log into the Google account.\\nIf you are not already logged into the Google account you are trying to access, you may be asked to do so before the account options will be displayed. You should automatically be taken to a Google login page where you will need to enter the Gmail address associated with the account you are trying to access, as well as the password for the account. Click the blue “Login” button to continue.\\n1-4. View the account options.\\nOnce the Google Accounts page has finished loading, you should be able to scroll down the page and view all the options available. These options should be identical to the options available to you on your PC. From this page, you can change passwords, secret questions, notifications and alerts, and much more.\\n1-5. Edit the account if you want.\\nYou can edit your account information by selecting any of the options listed.\\n1-6. Log in again to edit information.\\nIf you have logged in the past, the browser may remember your credentials (Gmail email address and password) automatically. However, if you try to access and change any information on your Google account, like the account password, you will be asked to log in again.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Android, the operating system installed in many popular smartphones and tablets, is nowadays developed by Google. This means that any type of Google product that you use is very easy to access from your Android device, including your Google account. It’s as easy as doing it from your PC.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open a web browser on your Android device.\", \"描述\": \"You can use any web browser you have installed.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go to the Google Accounts Page.\", \"描述\": \"Once the browser is open, search Google Accounts. This should lead you to the Google Accounts page. Once the page finishes loading, you should see a series of different options and menus you can access in the list given.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Log into the Google account.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not already logged into the Google account you are trying to access, you may be asked to do so before the account options will be displayed. You should automatically be taken to a Google login page where you will need to enter the Gmail address associated with the account you are trying to access, as well as the password for the account. Click the blue “Login” button to continue.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"View the account options.\", \"描述\": \"Once the Google Accounts page has finished loading, you should be able to scroll down the page and view all the options available. These options should be identical to the options available to you on your PC. From this page, you can change passwords, secret questions, notifications and alerts, and much more.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Edit the account if you want.\", \"描述\": \"You can edit your account information by selecting any of the options listed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Log in again to edit information.\", \"描述\": \"If you have logged in the past, the browser may remember your credentials (Gmail email address and password) automatically. However, if you try to access and change any information on your Google account, like the account password, you will be asked to log in again.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
185 | How to Access Google Assistant | 1. Android
1-1. Enable Google Assistant.
If you haven't already done so, you'll need to enable Google Assistant before you can start using its commands. To do this:
Open the Google app, which is the rainbow "G" icon in your app drawer.
Tap the option at the bottom-right corner.
Tap .
Tap .
If the Assistant is not enabled, tap at the bottom-right corner.
1-2. Press and hold the Home button or say "OK Google."
This opens the Google Assistant window. The assistant will begin listening to your command.
If you're using a Google Pixel 2, 3, 3a, or 4, you can even open Google Assistant by squeezing the bottom half of your phone.
1-3. Ask a question or say a command.
Commands can be anything from "Set an alarm for 6AM", or "Show my stocks for today."
If you don't want to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom to open the on-screen keyboard, and then type your question or command instead.
If you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.
1-4. Tap the result(s) to view more information.
The information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.
1-5. Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.
It's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant on your Android—browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page.
You can also quickly access your Google Assistant settings from the Explore section—just tap the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of the screen, select , and then tap the tab to customize your preferences.
If you want to learn how to train Google Assistant to better recognize your voice, check out How to Use OK Google on Android.
2. iPhone and iPad
2-1. Download the Google Assistant app.
You can download the Google Assistant app from the App Store using the following steps.
Open the App Store app.
Tap .
Type "Google Assistant" in the search bar.
Tap next to Google Assistant.
2-2. Open the Google Assistant app.
It's the app that has an icon with four different colored dots. You can open Google Assistant by tapping the app on the home screen, or by tapping "Open" in the App Store after the app is downloaded.
If you haven't already done so, sign in to Google Assistant using the email address and password associated with your Google account.
2-3. Navigate through the setup screens.
The first time you set up Google Assistant, you'll be shown some legal information and be asked to give the app permission to display notifications. Follow the on-screen instructions to move through these screens and allow or deny permissions as needed.
2-4. Say "Ok Google" or tap the microphone icon.
The microphone icon is at the bottom of the screen in the center. Google Assistant will start listening for your question or inquiry.
The first time you activate voice assistance, you'll be prompted to give the app permission to access your microphone. Tap to continue.
If you prefer not to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom of the screen instead.
2-5. Ask a question or say a command.
Commands can be anything from "Set an alarm for 6AM", or "Open www.wikihow.com".
If you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.
2-6. Tap the result(s) to view more information.
The information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.
2-7. Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.
It's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant. Browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page.
3. KaiOS
3-1. Set your language for Google Assistant.
Google Assistant needs to know which language to listen for, so start by specifying your language:
Navigate to and press the center key to select it.
Navigate to and press the center key.
Navigate to your language and press the center key.
3-2. Press and hold the center key to activate Google Assistant.
After about 2 seconds of pressing the button, colored dots will appear on the screen to indicate that Google Assistant is listening.
3-3. Ask a question or say a command.
After a few moments, Google Assistant will say and/or and display the results of your search.
For example, saying "What's the weather like in Toronto?" will display information about Toronto's current weather. If you ask the definition of a word, you'll typically hear the definition spoken aloud by the assistant as well as see it displayed on the screen.
3-4. Use Google Assistant to send an SMS text message.
If you'd like to use your voice to compose a text message to one of your contacts, you can do so using Google Assistant:
Press and hold the center button to activate Google Assistant.
Say, "SMS [the name of the contact you want to text]."
Use the arrow keys to scroll to the correct contact and press the center key to select.
Press the center key to activate the microphone.
Speak the content of your message aloud. When you stop speaking, the contents of your message will display on the screen.
Read over the message before it sends. To prevent it from sending, select . If you're okay with sending the message, you don't have to select anything.
Tips
You can use Google Assistant across Google Home devices. This includes Google Home smart speakers and Android smart TV's. For example, you can say "Ok Google, play classic rock on Spotify" to your Google Home speaker. Or say "Ok Google, open YouTube" to your Android TV.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:33",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Android\\n1-1. Enable Google Assistant.\\nIf you haven't already done so, you'll need to enable Google Assistant before you can start using its commands. To do this:\\nOpen the Google app, which is the rainbow \\\"G\\\" icon in your app drawer.\\nTap the option at the bottom-right corner.\\nTap .\\nTap .\\nIf the Assistant is not enabled, tap at the bottom-right corner.\\n1-2. Press and hold the Home button or say \\\"OK Google.\\\"\\nThis opens the Google Assistant window. The assistant will begin listening to your command.\\nIf you're using a Google Pixel 2, 3, 3a, or 4, you can even open Google Assistant by squeezing the bottom half of your phone.\\n1-3. Ask a question or say a command.\\nCommands can be anything from \\\"Set an alarm for 6AM\\\", or \\\"Show my stocks for today.\\\" \\nIf you don't want to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom to open the on-screen keyboard, and then type your question or command instead.\\nIf you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.\\n1-4. Tap the result(s) to view more information.\\nThe information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.\\n1-5. Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.\\nIt's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant on your Android—browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page. \\nYou can also quickly access your Google Assistant settings from the Explore section—just tap the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of the screen, select , and then tap the tab to customize your preferences.\\nIf you want to learn how to train Google Assistant to better recognize your voice, check out How to Use OK Google on Android.\\n2. iPhone and iPad\\n2-1. Download the Google Assistant app.\\nYou can download the Google Assistant app from the App Store using the following steps.\\nOpen the App Store app.\\nTap .\\nType \\\"Google Assistant\\\" in the search bar.\\nTap next to Google Assistant.\\n2-2. Open the Google Assistant app.\\nIt's the app that has an icon with four different colored dots. You can open Google Assistant by tapping the app on the home screen, or by tapping \\\"Open\\\" in the App Store after the app is downloaded.\\nIf you haven't already done so, sign in to Google Assistant using the email address and password associated with your Google account.\\n2-3. Navigate through the setup screens.\\nThe first time you set up Google Assistant, you'll be shown some legal information and be asked to give the app permission to display notifications. Follow the on-screen instructions to move through these screens and allow or deny permissions as needed.\\n2-4. Say \\\"Ok Google\\\" or tap the microphone icon.\\nThe microphone icon is at the bottom of the screen in the center. Google Assistant will start listening for your question or inquiry.\\nThe first time you activate voice assistance, you'll be prompted to give the app permission to access your microphone. Tap to continue.\\nIf you prefer not to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom of the screen instead.\\n2-5. Ask a question or say a command.\\nCommands can be anything from \\\"Set an alarm for 6AM\\\", or \\\"Open www.wikihow.com\\\".\\nIf you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.\\n2-6. Tap the result(s) to view more information.\\nThe information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.\\n2-7. Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.\\nIt's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant. Browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page.\\n3. KaiOS\\n3-1. Set your language for Google Assistant.\\nGoogle Assistant needs to know which language to listen for, so start by specifying your language:\\nNavigate to and press the center key to select it.\\nNavigate to and press the center key.\\nNavigate to your language and press the center key.\\n3-2. Press and hold the center key to activate Google Assistant.\\nAfter about 2 seconds of pressing the button, colored dots will appear on the screen to indicate that Google Assistant is listening.\\n3-3. Ask a question or say a command.\\nAfter a few moments, Google Assistant will say and/or and display the results of your search.\\nFor example, saying \\\"What's the weather like in Toronto?\\\" will display information about Toronto's current weather. If you ask the definition of a word, you'll typically hear the definition spoken aloud by the assistant as well as see it displayed on the screen.\\n3-4. Use Google Assistant to send an SMS text message.\\nIf you'd like to use your voice to compose a text message to one of your contacts, you can do so using Google Assistant:\\nPress and hold the center button to activate Google Assistant.\\nSay, \\\"SMS [the name of the contact you want to text].\\\"\\nUse the arrow keys to scroll to the correct contact and press the center key to select.\\nPress the center key to activate the microphone.\\nSpeak the content of your message aloud. When you stop speaking, the contents of your message will display on the screen.\\nRead over the message before it sends. To prevent it from sending, select . If you're okay with sending the message, you don't have to select anything.\\nTips\\nYou can use Google Assistant across Google Home devices. This includes Google Home smart speakers and Android smart TV's. For example, you can say \\\"Ok Google, play classic rock on Spotify\\\" to your Google Home speaker. Or say \\\"Ok Google, open YouTube\\\" to your Android TV.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to launch Google Assistant on your Android, iPhone, iPad, or KaiOS-enabled phone. Google Assistant is Google's voice-activated artificial intelligence program that can help you find information, plan your day, and launch apps using your voice.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Android\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Enable Google Assistant.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven't already done so, you'll need to enable Google Assistant before you can start using its commands. To do this:\\nOpen the Google app, which is the rainbow \\\"G\\\" icon in your app drawer.\\nTap the option at the bottom-right corner.\\nTap .\\nTap .\\nIf the Assistant is not enabled, tap at the bottom-right corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press and hold the Home button or say \\\"OK Google.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"This opens the Google Assistant window. The assistant will begin listening to your command.\\nIf you're using a Google Pixel 2, 3, 3a, or 4, you can even open Google Assistant by squeezing the bottom half of your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask a question or say a command.\", \"描述\": \"Commands can be anything from \\\"Set an alarm for 6AM\\\", or \\\"Show my stocks for today.\\\" \\nIf you don't want to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom to open the on-screen keyboard, and then type your question or command instead.\\nIf you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the result(s) to view more information.\", \"描述\": \"The information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.\", \"描述\": \"It's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant on your Android—browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page. \\nYou can also quickly access your Google Assistant settings from the Explore section—just tap the three-dot menu at the top-right corner of the screen, select , and then tap the tab to customize your preferences.\\nIf you want to learn how to train Google Assistant to better recognize your voice, check out How to Use OK Google on Android.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"iPhone and iPad\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download the Google Assistant app.\", \"描述\": \"You can download the Google Assistant app from the App Store using the following steps.\\nOpen the App Store app.\\nTap .\\nType \\\"Google Assistant\\\" in the search bar.\\nTap next to Google Assistant.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open the Google Assistant app.\", \"描述\": \"It's the app that has an icon with four different colored dots. You can open Google Assistant by tapping the app on the home screen, or by tapping \\\"Open\\\" in the App Store after the app is downloaded.\\nIf you haven't already done so, sign in to Google Assistant using the email address and password associated with your Google account.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Navigate through the setup screens.\", \"描述\": \"The first time you set up Google Assistant, you'll be shown some legal information and be asked to give the app permission to display notifications. Follow the on-screen instructions to move through these screens and allow or deny permissions as needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"Ok Google\\\" or tap the microphone icon.\", \"描述\": \"The microphone icon is at the bottom of the screen in the center. Google Assistant will start listening for your question or inquiry.\\nThe first time you activate voice assistance, you'll be prompted to give the app permission to access your microphone. Tap to continue.\\nIf you prefer not to use your voice, tap the keyboard icon at the bottom of the screen instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask a question or say a command.\", \"描述\": \"Commands can be anything from \\\"Set an alarm for 6AM\\\", or \\\"Open www.wikihow.com\\\".\\nIf you use your voice to interact with Google Assistant, the response will be audible, but you'll also see the results on the screen. If you used the keyboard option, the results will only be displayed on the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap the result(s) to view more information.\", \"描述\": \"The information you'll see will vary depending on how you're using Google Assistant. For example, you may be presented with a web link that gives more details about your question.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap the Explore tab to do more with Google Assistant.\", \"描述\": \"It's the compass icon at the bottom-right corner of the screen. This section lets you do more with Google Assistant. Browse the categories to learn commands to try, or search for specific commands using the Search bar at the top of the page.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"KaiOS\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set your language for Google Assistant.\", \"描述\": \"Google Assistant needs to know which language to listen for, so start by specifying your language:\\nNavigate to and press the center key to select it.\\nNavigate to and press the center key.\\nNavigate to your language and press the center key.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press and hold the center key to activate Google Assistant.\", \"描述\": \"After about 2 seconds of pressing the button, colored dots will appear on the screen to indicate that Google Assistant is listening.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask a question or say a command.\", \"描述\": \"After a few moments, Google Assistant will say and/or and display the results of your search.\\nFor example, saying \\\"What's the weather like in Toronto?\\\" will display information about Toronto's current weather. If you ask the definition of a word, you'll typically hear the definition spoken aloud by the assistant as well as see it displayed on the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use Google Assistant to send an SMS text message.\", \"描述\": \"If you'd like to use your voice to compose a text message to one of your contacts, you can do so using Google Assistant:\\nPress and hold the center button to activate Google Assistant.\\nSay, \\\"SMS [the name of the contact you want to text].\\\"\\nUse the arrow keys to scroll to the correct contact and press the center key to select.\\nPress the center key to activate the microphone.\\nSpeak the content of your message aloud. When you stop speaking, the contents of your message will display on the screen.\\nRead over the message before it sends. To prevent it from sending, select . If you're okay with sending the message, you don't have to select anything.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can use Google Assistant across Google Home devices. This includes Google Home smart speakers and Android smart TV's. For example, you can say \\\"Ok Google, play classic rock on Spotify\\\" to your Google Home speaker. Or say \\\"Ok Google, open YouTube\\\" to your Android TV.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
186 | How to Access Google Cloud on PC or Mac | 1. Steps
1-1. Go to https://cloud.google.com in a web browser.
You can access the Google Cloud console from any web browser on your computer.
1-2. Click SIGN IN.
It’s at the top-right corner of the screen.
1-3. Sign in to your Google account.
Select or enter the account name and tap . Then, enter your password and tap . This brings you to the Cloud app.
1-4. Click GO TO CONSOLE.
It’s the blue button near the middle of the page.
If you don’t see this button, click at the top-right corner of the screen.
1-5. Accept the terms of service.
If it’s your first time using the Google Cloud web app, select your desired contact settings and click . You are now signed into the Google Cloud console.
To select a project, click the menu at the top of the screen, then click the project.
To create a new project, click the menu, then click to access the New Project screen.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Go to https://cloud.google.com in a web browser.\\nYou can access the Google Cloud console from any web browser on your computer.\\n1-2. Click SIGN IN.\\nIt’s at the top-right corner of the screen.\\n1-3. Sign in to your Google account.\\nSelect or enter the account name and tap . Then, enter your password and tap . This brings you to the Cloud app.\\n1-4. Click GO TO CONSOLE.\\nIt’s the blue button near the middle of the page.\\nIf you don’t see this button, click at the top-right corner of the screen.\\n1-5. Accept the terms of service.\\nIf it’s your first time using the Google Cloud web app, select your desired contact settings and click . You are now signed into the Google Cloud console.\\nTo select a project, click the menu at the top of the screen, then click the project.\\nTo create a new project, click the menu, then click to access the New Project screen.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to sign in to the Google Cloud console when you’re using a computer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://cloud.google.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"You can access the Google Cloud console from any web browser on your computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click SIGN IN.\", \"描述\": \"It’s at the top-right corner of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Google account.\", \"描述\": \"Select or enter the account name and tap . Then, enter your password and tap . This brings you to the Cloud app.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click GO TO CONSOLE.\", \"描述\": \"It’s the blue button near the middle of the page.\\nIf you don’t see this button, click at the top-right corner of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept the terms of service.\", \"描述\": \"If it’s your first time using the Google Cloud web app, select your desired contact settings and click . You are now signed into the Google Cloud console.\\nTo select a project, click the menu at the top of the screen, then click the project.\\nTo create a new project, click the menu, then click to access the New Project screen.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
187 | How to Access Google Docs from an iPad | 1. Steps
1-1. Download the Google Docs app from iTunes.
Tap the App Store icon from your iPad and search for the Google Docs app. Once you find it, tap the “Install” button you’ll see on the screen to download it on to your iOS tablet.
The Google Docs app is free to download and is compatible with iPad devices that are running on iOS 7 or later.
1-2. Open the app.
Tap the Google Docs app icon—a blue paper— from your iPad’s home screen to launch the application.
1-3. Log into your Google account.
When you launch the app for the first time, you’ll be prompted to enter your Google account. Simply type in your Google or Gmail username and password on the text field provided and tap “Sign In.”
If you don’t have a Google or Gmail account yet, tap the “Create Account” link and provide your personal information to get one.
1-4. Access your Google Docs files.
After signing in, all the files you’ve recently accessed from other devices will be displayed on the screen. Tap the document you want to open, and that’s it! You’ve just accessed Google Docs on your iPad.
You can also search for a specific document by typing its file name on the search bar on the upper portion of the screen. Tap the magnifying glass icon beside it to begin the search, and a list of documents related to your query will appear on the screen.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Download the Google Docs app from iTunes.\\nTap the App Store icon from your iPad and search for the Google Docs app. Once you find it, tap the “Install” button you’ll see on the screen to download it on to your iOS tablet.\\nThe Google Docs app is free to download and is compatible with iPad devices that are running on iOS 7 or later.\\n1-2. Open the app.\\nTap the Google Docs app icon—a blue paper— from your iPad’s home screen to launch the application.\\n1-3. Log into your Google account.\\nWhen you launch the app for the first time, you’ll be prompted to enter your Google account. Simply type in your Google or Gmail username and password on the text field provided and tap “Sign In.”\\nIf you don’t have a Google or Gmail account yet, tap the “Create Account” link and provide your personal information to get one.\\n1-4. Access your Google Docs files.\\nAfter signing in, all the files you’ve recently accessed from other devices will be displayed on the screen. Tap the document you want to open, and that’s it! You’ve just accessed Google Docs on your iPad.\\nYou can also search for a specific document by typing its file name on the search bar on the upper portion of the screen. Tap the magnifying glass icon beside it to begin the search, and a list of documents related to your query will appear on the screen.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Google Docs can be very useful for keeping your office documents accessible remotely from any computer. And even though Google has been a strong competitor of Apple when it comes to the mobile technology arena, you may still access your Google Docs from iOS devices. Devices with large screens like iPads are a great partner for viewing and editing your files saved on your Google Docs account.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download the Google Docs app from iTunes.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the App Store icon from your iPad and search for the Google Docs app. Once you find it, tap the “Install” button you’ll see on the screen to download it on to your iOS tablet.\\nThe Google Docs app is free to download and is compatible with iPad devices that are running on iOS 7 or later.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open the app.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the Google Docs app icon—a blue paper— from your iPad’s home screen to launch the application.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Log into your Google account.\", \"描述\": \"When you launch the app for the first time, you’ll be prompted to enter your Google account. Simply type in your Google or Gmail username and password on the text field provided and tap “Sign In.”\\nIf you don’t have a Google or Gmail account yet, tap the “Create Account” link and provide your personal information to get one.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Access your Google Docs files.\", \"描述\": \"After signing in, all the files you’ve recently accessed from other devices will be displayed on the screen. Tap the document you want to open, and that’s it! You’ve just accessed Google Docs on your iPad.\\nYou can also search for a specific document by typing its file name on the search bar on the upper portion of the screen. Tap the magnifying glass icon beside it to begin the search, and a list of documents related to your query will appear on the screen.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
188 | How to Access Google Docs from iPhone | 1. Open the App Store.
Tap the App Store icon from your iPhone’s home screen to launch the application.
App Store is where you can download and install software programs specifically designed for devices using the iOS devices like the iPhone.
2. Search for Google Docs.
Tap the magnifying glass at the bottom-right enter “Google Docs.”
Tap the “Enter” button on your iPhone’s keyboard to start searching. App Store will display the Google Docs application at the top of your search result.
3. Download and install Google Docs.
Tap the GET button right next to the name of the app.
The app’s icon will appear on the home screen once it’s successfully installed.
4. Open Google Docs.
Launch Google Docs.
Tap the Google Docs (a blue paper) icon from your device’s home screen to open it.
5. Log in to your Google account.
You’ll see a login screen during the first launch of the app.
Enter your Google/Gmail account’s username and password on the allocated text field, and tap “Sign In” to proceed.
If you don’t have a Google account yet, click on the “Create an Account” link and provide few basic personal information about yourself to instantly get one.
6. Select a document to open.
After logging in, a list of recent documents will appear.
These are the documents you’ve accessed from the web browser of a computer. Just tap the file you want to view, and it will open up on your iPhone.
If you don’t have any documents yet, you can simply tap the menu button on the top right corner of the app’s screen and select “New” from the drop-down list to start creating a new one.
Tips
Accessing Google Docs from your iPhone requires a mobile network or Wi-Fi connection.
The Google Docs app is free to download and install on your iPhone.
Google Docs supports docx, .docm .dot, .dotx, .dotm, .html, plain text (.txt), .rtf, and odt file formats—all of which are compatible with Microsoft Word, Open Office, and other word processing applications.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Open the App Store.\\nTap the App Store icon from your iPhone’s home screen to launch the application.\\nApp Store is where you can download and install software programs specifically designed for devices using the iOS devices like the iPhone.\\n2. Search for Google Docs.\\nTap the magnifying glass at the bottom-right enter “Google Docs.”\\nTap the “Enter” button on your iPhone’s keyboard to start searching. App Store will display the Google Docs application at the top of your search result.\\n3. Download and install Google Docs.\\nTap the GET button right next to the name of the app.\\nThe app’s icon will appear on the home screen once it’s successfully installed.\\n4. Open Google Docs.\\nLaunch Google Docs.\\nTap the Google Docs (a blue paper) icon from your device’s home screen to open it.\\n5. Log in to your Google account.\\nYou’ll see a login screen during the first launch of the app.\\nEnter your Google/Gmail account’s username and password on the allocated text field, and tap “Sign In” to proceed.\\nIf you don’t have a Google account yet, click on the “Create an Account” link and provide few basic personal information about yourself to instantly get one.\\n6. Select a document to open.\\nAfter logging in, a list of recent documents will appear.\\nThese are the documents you’ve accessed from the web browser of a computer. Just tap the file you want to view, and it will open up on your iPhone.\\nIf you don’t have any documents yet, you can simply tap the menu button on the top right corner of the app’s screen and select “New” from the drop-down list to start creating a new one.\\nTips\\nAccessing Google Docs from your iPhone requires a mobile network or Wi-Fi connection.\\nThe Google Docs app is free to download and install on your iPhone.\\nGoogle Docs supports docx, .docm .dot, .dotx, .dotm, .html, plain text (.txt), .rtf, and odt file formats—all of which are compatible with Microsoft Word, Open Office, and other word processing applications.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Google Docs is an online office application that lets you create, edit, and save office files such as your documents, research works, or proposals right on the web. You don’t have to worry about having to always carry your files around in a flash drive. What’s more, if you have an iPhone, you can access Google Docs just about wherever and whenever you like.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the App Store.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap the App Store icon from your iPhone’s home screen to launch the application.\", \"描述\": \"App Store is where you can download and install software programs specifically designed for devices using the iOS devices like the iPhone.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Search for Google Docs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap the magnifying glass at the bottom-right enter “Google Docs.”\", \"描述\": \"Tap the “Enter” button on your iPhone’s keyboard to start searching. App Store will display the Google Docs application at the top of your search result.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Download and install Google Docs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tap the GET button right next to the name of the app.\", \"描述\": \"The app’s icon will appear on the home screen once it’s successfully installed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Open Google Docs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch Google Docs.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the Google Docs (a blue paper) icon from your device’s home screen to open it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Log in to your Google account.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ll see a login screen during the first launch of the app.\", \"描述\": \"Enter your Google/Gmail account’s username and password on the allocated text field, and tap “Sign In” to proceed.\\nIf you don’t have a Google account yet, click on the “Create an Account” link and provide few basic personal information about yourself to instantly get one.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select a document to open.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"After logging in, a list of recent documents will appear.\", \"描述\": \"These are the documents you’ve accessed from the web browser of a computer. Just tap the file you want to view, and it will open up on your iPhone.\\nIf you don’t have any documents yet, you can simply tap the menu button on the top right corner of the app’s screen and select “New” from the drop-down list to start creating a new one.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Accessing Google Docs from your iPhone requires a mobile network or Wi-Fi connection.\\n\", \"The Google Docs app is free to download and install on your iPhone.\\n\", \"Google Docs supports docx, .docm .dot, .dotx, .dotm, .html, plain text (.txt), .rtf, and odt file formats—all of which are compatible with Microsoft Word, Open Office, and other word processing applications.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
189 | How to Access Instagram on a PC | 1. Using the Instagram Website or PC App
1-1. Go to https://www.instagram.com in your web browser.
The official Instagram website will load. You can use Instagram's website to browse your feed, view stories, read and reply to messages, manage your settings, and follow new users. You can't, however, use the website to upload new posts or stories.
If you'd rather use an app, you can download install the free Instagram app from the Microsoft Store. It works exactly the same as Instagram.com. To do this:
Open the Start menu and select .
Click the "Search" text box.
Type in instagram
Click in the results.
Click .
Once the app is installed, click to open Instagram, or click in the start menu.
1-2. Enter your Instagram account information and click Log In.
This signs you in to your Instagram account, where you'll see your feed.
If you use your Facebook account to sign in to Instagram, click instead and follow the on-screen instructions.
If you don't have an Instagram account, click the link below the login fields and follow the on-screen instructions.
1-3. Scroll through your feed.
Scrolling down using your browser's scroll bars will take you through your feed. You can also search for individual users or tags by typing into the "Search" text box at the top of the page.
You can return to your feed from anywhere else on Instagram by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page.
1-4. Click the heart below a post to like it.
This tells the person who shared the photo or video that you like what they've shared.
1-5. Click the speech bubble below a post to add a comment.
Unless a user has disabled comments for their post, you'll see this icon to the right of the heart below a comment to a post. You can also click the text box below the post's existing comments to start typing. When you're finished entering your comment, press the key to share it.
1-6. Click the paper airplane below a post to share it.
A list of sharing options will appear. Depending on the privacy settings of the person who posted the photo or video, you may be able to share with others on or off Instagram.
Click to share the post with another Instagram user.
Click to copy the post's link to a clipboard and paste it wherever you wish.
Choose any of the social media icons (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) to share the post using those methods.
1-7. Click the compass icon to view the Explore page.
It's all the way up in the icon row at the top-right corner of the page. This section lets you check out popular and recommended Instagram posts from people you're not already following.
1-8. View your notifications.
It's another one of the icons the top-right corner of your feed. Click the heart icon to the left of your profile photo see recent likes, comments, and follows from other people.
1-9. Click the paper airplane icon to view and send direct messages.
It's also in the icon row at the top-right corner of the screen.
To read a message, click the sender's name in the left panel.
To respond to a message, type your response in the bottom field, and then press
To respond with a photo, click the icon of a photo in the typing area at the bottom of the message, select an image from your computer, and then click .
To send a new message, click the pencil and paper icon at the top of the left panel ("Direct"), select a user, click , and create your message.
1-10. View your stories.
Your stories are at the top of the main feed, which you can access by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page. Click any of the circles with your friends' photos inside to see their active photo and video stories.
1-11. View and manage your profile.
To see your own posts, click your profile photo at the top-right corner of the page and select .
To edit your profile, click at the top of the page.
To adjust your settings, click the gear icon at the top of your profile. This is also where you'll find the option.
2. Using BlueStacks to Post Photos and Videos
2-1. Go to https://www.bluestacks.com.
If you need to be able to share your own posts and stories from your computer, you'll need to install an Android emulator that lets you install Instagram. Bluestacks is a free and easy option that you can use as long as you have a Google/Gmail account.
2-2. Click the green DOWNLOAD BLUESTACKS button.
It's a green button in the middle of the page, though you may have to scroll down to see it.
If the installer doesn't download automatically, click or when prompted.
2-3. Install BlueStacks.
To do so, double-click the BlueStacks EXE file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install it on your PC.
If BlueStacks doesn't open automatically, you'll find it in the Start menu.
BlueStacks can take a minute or longer to start up, especially if your computer is slower than average.
If prompted to perform any setup actions, follow the on-screen prompts until you arrive at the BlueStacks home screen.
2-4. Sign in to your Google account.
Just like setting up an Android phone or tablet, you'll need to enter your Google account username and password to sign in. See this wikiHow for help making a Google account.
2-5. Click the My Apps tab.
It's in the upper-left side of the BlueStacks window.
Keep in mind that BlueStacks will occasionally display an ad when opening a new app, tab, or folder. If you see a pop-up ad, wait for the timer in the top-right corner of the window to count down, then click in the top-right corner.
2-6. Open the Google Play Store .
It's the white briefcase icon with a multicolored sideways triangle inside. You'll see it on the Bluestacks home screen.
2-7. Type instagram into the Search bar and press ↵ Enter.
The Search bar is at the top-right corner of the window. A list of search results will appear.
2-8. Click INSTALL.
It's the blue button at the bottom-right corner of the Instagram tile.
Click if prompted to start the installation.
2-9. Click OPEN when the installation is complete.
It's a green button in the same place as the button was. Doing so will open Instagram.
2-10. Log into your Instagram account.
Enter your email address (or username, or phone number) and password. This will open the Instagram mobile app in BlueStacks, after which point you can begin using Instagram like you normally would on mobile.
You may first have to click at the bottom of the Instagram page.
If you're new to Instagram, check out How to Post on Instagram to learn about Instagram's posting features.
2-11. Click the + to create a new post.
It's at the bottom-center part of the screen.
2-12. Select Other from the drop-down menu.
The menu is at the top-left corner of the window. This opens the Android "Open from" menu.
2-13. Click Pick from Windows in the left panel.
This opens your Windows file picker.
If prompted to allow the app to access your files, click or .
2-14. Select a photo or video and click Open.
This uploads the selected photo or video to your Google account and adds it to your Instagram post.
The upload may take a while, depending on the size of the file.
If you aren't taken back to Instagram after uploading the media, click the tab at the top of Bluestacks. If there is no Instagram tab, click the house button at the bottom of the app to return to the home screen, re-open Instagram, and click to create a post. You should then be able to click the photo or video you uploaded.
2-15. Click Next.
It's at the top-right corner.
2-16. Edit your post and click Next.
You can use the filter options at the bottom to choose lighting and color effects, or click to make your own custom changes.
2-17. Enter your post details and click Share.
Type a description or caption in the typing area at the top of the app, and then add a location or tags if you wish. To share your new post, tap at the top-right corner.
Tips
You can also use other Android emulators like Nox App Player, ARChon... etc to run the Instagram app on your PC.
Warnings
When using BlueStacks, you're essentially using the Android 5.0 operating system. Since the current operating system is Android 8.0, this means that some apps won't work properly or won't support certain features, while other apps won't work with BlueStacks at all.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using the Instagram Website or PC App\\n1-1. Go to https://www.instagram.com in your web browser.\\nThe official Instagram website will load. You can use Instagram's website to browse your feed, view stories, read and reply to messages, manage your settings, and follow new users. You can't, however, use the website to upload new posts or stories.\\nIf you'd rather use an app, you can download install the free Instagram app from the Microsoft Store. It works exactly the same as Instagram.com. To do this:\\nOpen the Start menu and select .\\nClick the \\\"Search\\\" text box.\\nType in instagram\\nClick in the results.\\nClick .\\nOnce the app is installed, click to open Instagram, or click in the start menu.\\n1-2. Enter your Instagram account information and click Log In.\\nThis signs you in to your Instagram account, where you'll see your feed.\\nIf you use your Facebook account to sign in to Instagram, click instead and follow the on-screen instructions.\\nIf you don't have an Instagram account, click the link below the login fields and follow the on-screen instructions.\\n1-3. Scroll through your feed.\\nScrolling down using your browser's scroll bars will take you through your feed. You can also search for individual users or tags by typing into the \\\"Search\\\" text box at the top of the page.\\nYou can return to your feed from anywhere else on Instagram by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page.\\n1-4. Click the heart below a post to like it.\\nThis tells the person who shared the photo or video that you like what they've shared.\\n1-5. Click the speech bubble below a post to add a comment.\\nUnless a user has disabled comments for their post, you'll see this icon to the right of the heart below a comment to a post. You can also click the text box below the post's existing comments to start typing. When you're finished entering your comment, press the key to share it.\\n1-6. Click the paper airplane below a post to share it.\\nA list of sharing options will appear. Depending on the privacy settings of the person who posted the photo or video, you may be able to share with others on or off Instagram.\\nClick to share the post with another Instagram user.\\nClick to copy the post's link to a clipboard and paste it wherever you wish.\\nChoose any of the social media icons (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) to share the post using those methods.\\n1-7. Click the compass icon to view the Explore page.\\nIt's all the way up in the icon row at the top-right corner of the page. This section lets you check out popular and recommended Instagram posts from people you're not already following.\\n1-8. View your notifications.\\nIt's another one of the icons the top-right corner of your feed. Click the heart icon to the left of your profile photo see recent likes, comments, and follows from other people.\\n1-9. Click the paper airplane icon to view and send direct messages.\\nIt's also in the icon row at the top-right corner of the screen.\\nTo read a message, click the sender's name in the left panel.\\nTo respond to a message, type your response in the bottom field, and then press \\nTo respond with a photo, click the icon of a photo in the typing area at the bottom of the message, select an image from your computer, and then click .\\nTo send a new message, click the pencil and paper icon at the top of the left panel (\\\"Direct\\\"), select a user, click , and create your message.\\n1-10. View your stories.\\nYour stories are at the top of the main feed, which you can access by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page. Click any of the circles with your friends' photos inside to see their active photo and video stories.\\n1-11. View and manage your profile.\\nTo see your own posts, click your profile photo at the top-right corner of the page and select .\\nTo edit your profile, click at the top of the page.\\nTo adjust your settings, click the gear icon at the top of your profile. This is also where you'll find the option.\\n2. Using BlueStacks to Post Photos and Videos\\n2-1. Go to https://www.bluestacks.com.\\nIf you need to be able to share your own posts and stories from your computer, you'll need to install an Android emulator that lets you install Instagram. Bluestacks is a free and easy option that you can use as long as you have a Google/Gmail account.\\n2-2. Click the green DOWNLOAD BLUESTACKS button.\\nIt's a green button in the middle of the page, though you may have to scroll down to see it.\\nIf the installer doesn't download automatically, click or when prompted.\\n2-3. Install BlueStacks.\\nTo do so, double-click the BlueStacks EXE file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install it on your PC.\\nIf BlueStacks doesn't open automatically, you'll find it in the Start menu.\\nBlueStacks can take a minute or longer to start up, especially if your computer is slower than average.\\nIf prompted to perform any setup actions, follow the on-screen prompts until you arrive at the BlueStacks home screen.\\n2-4. Sign in to your Google account.\\nJust like setting up an Android phone or tablet, you'll need to enter your Google account username and password to sign in. See this wikiHow for help making a Google account.\\n2-5. Click the My Apps tab.\\nIt's in the upper-left side of the BlueStacks window.\\nKeep in mind that BlueStacks will occasionally display an ad when opening a new app, tab, or folder. If you see a pop-up ad, wait for the timer in the top-right corner of the window to count down, then click in the top-right corner.\\n2-6. Open the Google Play Store .\\nIt's the white briefcase icon with a multicolored sideways triangle inside. You'll see it on the Bluestacks home screen.\\n2-7. Type instagram into the Search bar and press ↵ Enter.\\nThe Search bar is at the top-right corner of the window. A list of search results will appear.\\n2-8. Click INSTALL.\\nIt's the blue button at the bottom-right corner of the Instagram tile.\\nClick if prompted to start the installation.\\n2-9. Click OPEN when the installation is complete.\\nIt's a green button in the same place as the button was. Doing so will open Instagram.\\n2-10. Log into your Instagram account.\\nEnter your email address (or username, or phone number) and password. This will open the Instagram mobile app in BlueStacks, after which point you can begin using Instagram like you normally would on mobile.\\nYou may first have to click at the bottom of the Instagram page.\\nIf you're new to Instagram, check out How to Post on Instagram to learn about Instagram's posting features.\\n2-11. Click the + to create a new post.\\nIt's at the bottom-center part of the screen.\\n2-12. Select Other from the drop-down menu.\\nThe menu is at the top-left corner of the window. This opens the Android \\\"Open from\\\" menu.\\n2-13. Click Pick from Windows in the left panel.\\nThis opens your Windows file picker.\\nIf prompted to allow the app to access your files, click or .\\n2-14. Select a photo or video and click Open.\\nThis uploads the selected photo or video to your Google account and adds it to your Instagram post.\\nThe upload may take a while, depending on the size of the file.\\nIf you aren't taken back to Instagram after uploading the media, click the tab at the top of Bluestacks. If there is no Instagram tab, click the house button at the bottom of the app to return to the home screen, re-open Instagram, and click to create a post. You should then be able to click the photo or video you uploaded.\\n2-15. Click Next.\\nIt's at the top-right corner.\\n2-16. Edit your post and click Next.\\nYou can use the filter options at the bottom to choose lighting and color effects, or click to make your own custom changes.\\n2-17. Enter your post details and click Share.\\nType a description or caption in the typing area at the top of the app, and then add a location or tags if you wish. To share your new post, tap at the top-right corner.\\nTips\\nYou can also use other Android emulators like Nox App Player, ARChon... etc to run the Instagram app on your PC.\\nWarnings\\nWhen using BlueStacks, you're essentially using the Android 5.0 operating system. Since the current operating system is Android 8.0, this means that some apps won't work properly or won't support certain features, while other apps won't work with BlueStacks at all.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to view and manage your Instagram account on a PC using the Instagram website and Windows 10 app. Both the website and app let you view and your feed, check out stories, read and reply to messages, like and comment, and see the Explore tab. The only limitation is that you can't post your own photos and videos from a PC. Because of this limitation, you'll also learn how to install the popular Bluestacks Android emulator so you can share your own content from your desktop or laptop computer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using the Instagram Website or PC App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.instagram.com in your web browser.\", \"描述\": \"The official Instagram website will load. You can use Instagram's website to browse your feed, view stories, read and reply to messages, manage your settings, and follow new users. You can't, however, use the website to upload new posts or stories.\\nIf you'd rather use an app, you can download install the free Instagram app from the Microsoft Store. It works exactly the same as Instagram.com. To do this:\\nOpen the Start menu and select .\\nClick the \\\"Search\\\" text box.\\nType in instagram\\nClick in the results.\\nClick .\\nOnce the app is installed, click to open Instagram, or click in the start menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enter your Instagram account information and click Log In.\", \"描述\": \"This signs you in to your Instagram account, where you'll see your feed.\\nIf you use your Facebook account to sign in to Instagram, click instead and follow the on-screen instructions.\\nIf you don't have an Instagram account, click the link below the login fields and follow the on-screen instructions.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Scroll through your feed.\", \"描述\": \"Scrolling down using your browser's scroll bars will take you through your feed. You can also search for individual users or tags by typing into the \\\"Search\\\" text box at the top of the page.\\nYou can return to your feed from anywhere else on Instagram by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the heart below a post to like it.\", \"描述\": \"This tells the person who shared the photo or video that you like what they've shared.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click the speech bubble below a post to add a comment.\", \"描述\": \"Unless a user has disabled comments for their post, you'll see this icon to the right of the heart below a comment to a post. You can also click the text box below the post's existing comments to start typing. When you're finished entering your comment, press the key to share it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Click the paper airplane below a post to share it.\", \"描述\": \"A list of sharing options will appear. Depending on the privacy settings of the person who posted the photo or video, you may be able to share with others on or off Instagram.\\nClick to share the post with another Instagram user.\\nClick to copy the post's link to a clipboard and paste it wherever you wish.\\nChoose any of the social media icons (e.g., Facebook, Twitter) to share the post using those methods.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click the compass icon to view the Explore page.\", \"描述\": \"It's all the way up in the icon row at the top-right corner of the page. This section lets you check out popular and recommended Instagram posts from people you're not already following.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"View your notifications.\", \"描述\": \"It's another one of the icons the top-right corner of your feed. Click the heart icon to the left of your profile photo see recent likes, comments, and follows from other people.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click the paper airplane icon to view and send direct messages.\", \"描述\": \"It's also in the icon row at the top-right corner of the screen.\\nTo read a message, click the sender's name in the left panel.\\nTo respond to a message, type your response in the bottom field, and then press \\nTo respond with a photo, click the icon of a photo in the typing area at the bottom of the message, select an image from your computer, and then click .\\nTo send a new message, click the pencil and paper icon at the top of the left panel (\\\"Direct\\\"), select a user, click , and create your message.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"View your stories.\", \"描述\": \"Your stories are at the top of the main feed, which you can access by clicking the house icon at the top-right corner of the page. Click any of the circles with your friends' photos inside to see their active photo and video stories.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"View and manage your profile.\", \"描述\": \"To see your own posts, click your profile photo at the top-right corner of the page and select .\\nTo edit your profile, click at the top of the page.\\nTo adjust your settings, click the gear icon at the top of your profile. This is also where you'll find the option.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using BlueStacks to Post Photos and Videos\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://www.bluestacks.com.\", \"描述\": \"If you need to be able to share your own posts and stories from your computer, you'll need to install an Android emulator that lets you install Instagram. Bluestacks is a free and easy option that you can use as long as you have a Google/Gmail account.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the green DOWNLOAD BLUESTACKS button.\", \"描述\": \"It's a green button in the middle of the page, though you may have to scroll down to see it.\\nIf the installer doesn't download automatically, click or when prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Install BlueStacks.\", \"描述\": \"To do so, double-click the BlueStacks EXE file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install it on your PC.\\nIf BlueStacks doesn't open automatically, you'll find it in the Start menu.\\nBlueStacks can take a minute or longer to start up, especially if your computer is slower than average.\\nIf prompted to perform any setup actions, follow the on-screen prompts until you arrive at the BlueStacks home screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Google account.\", \"描述\": \"Just like setting up an Android phone or tablet, you'll need to enter your Google account username and password to sign in. See this wikiHow for help making a Google account.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click the My Apps tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the upper-left side of the BlueStacks window.\\nKeep in mind that BlueStacks will occasionally display an ad when opening a new app, tab, or folder. If you see a pop-up ad, wait for the timer in the top-right corner of the window to count down, then click in the top-right corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Open the Google Play Store .\", \"描述\": \"It's the white briefcase icon with a multicolored sideways triangle inside. You'll see it on the Bluestacks home screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Type instagram into the Search bar and press ↵ Enter.\", \"描述\": \"The Search bar is at the top-right corner of the window. A list of search results will appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click INSTALL.\", \"描述\": \"It's the blue button at the bottom-right corner of the Instagram tile.\\nClick if prompted to start the installation.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click OPEN when the installation is complete.\", \"描述\": \"It's a green button in the same place as the button was. Doing so will open Instagram.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Log into your Instagram account.\", \"描述\": \"Enter your email address (or username, or phone number) and password. This will open the Instagram mobile app in BlueStacks, after which point you can begin using Instagram like you normally would on mobile.\\nYou may first have to click at the bottom of the Instagram page.\\nIf you're new to Instagram, check out How to Post on Instagram to learn about Instagram's posting features.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Click the + to create a new post.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the bottom-center part of the screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Select Other from the drop-down menu.\", \"描述\": \"The menu is at the top-left corner of the window. This opens the Android \\\"Open from\\\" menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Click Pick from Windows in the left panel.\", \"描述\": \"This opens your Windows file picker.\\nIf prompted to allow the app to access your files, click or .\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Select a photo or video and click Open.\", \"描述\": \"This uploads the selected photo or video to your Google account and adds it to your Instagram post.\\nThe upload may take a while, depending on the size of the file.\\nIf you aren't taken back to Instagram after uploading the media, click the tab at the top of Bluestacks. If there is no Instagram tab, click the house button at the bottom of the app to return to the home screen, re-open Instagram, and click to create a post. You should then be able to click the photo or video you uploaded.\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Click Next.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the top-right corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Edit your post and click Next.\", \"描述\": \"You can use the filter options at the bottom to choose lighting and color effects, or click to make your own custom changes.\"}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"Enter your post details and click Share.\", \"描述\": \"Type a description or caption in the typing area at the top of the app, and then add a location or tags if you wish. To share your new post, tap at the top-right corner.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can also use other Android emulators like Nox App Player, ARChon... etc to run the Instagram app on your PC.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"When using BlueStacks, you're essentially using the Android 5.0 operating system. Since the current operating system is Android 8.0, this means that some apps won't work properly or won't support certain features, while other apps won't work with BlueStacks at all.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
190 | How to Access Internet Explorer History | 1. Using Internet Explorer 7+
1-1. Click the Star button in the upper-right corner of the window.
This will open the Favorites sidebar. You can also press Ctrl+H to jump straight to the History tab of the Favorites sidebar.
The Ctrl+H shortcut also works on Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox.
Use ⌘ Cmd+H to access your browsing history on a Mac.
In Internet Explorer 7 and 8, the Favorites button is located on the left side of the Bookmarks Bar.
If you're using a Windows 8 tablet with the Modern version of Internet Explorer 11, you'll need to open Internet Explorer in Desktop mode to view the history. The only way to see your history in the Modern app is through the suggested sites when you start to type an address in. You can quickly switch to the Desktop mode by tapping the Wrench button and selecting "View on the desktop."
1-2. Click the "History" tab.
This will already be selected if you press Ctrl+H to open the sidebar.
1-3. Decide how you want to organize the results.
By default, your history will be sorted by date. You can use the drop-down menu at the top of the sidebar to sort by website name, most visited, and sites visited today.t to View By Date to change your viewing preference if desired. You may view a list of all websites, view by the most visited websites, view by the websites visited that same day, or search your history by entering search criteria.
1-4. Click a result to open or expand it.
Depending on your sorting preferences, your history may be organized into categories. Clicking one of these categories will display links to specific pages. For example, when viewing by site, clicking a website will show all of the pages on that site that you visited.
1-5. Search for a website using the "Search History" option.
Select "Search History" from the drop-down menu to search for specific websites or pages that you've visited.
1-6. Create bookmarks from history entries.
You can add any history entry to your bookmarks by right-clicking it and selecting "Add To favorites." You'll be prompted to select a location for the bookmark and can give it a name.
1-7. Delete an entry by right-clicking it and selecting "Delete."
You can do this for individual entries or entire categories.
2. Using Microsoft Edge
2-1. Click or tap the Hub button.
You'll find this along the top of the window. The icon looks like a paragraph.
2-2. Click or tap the History tab.
The icon looks like a clock.
You can also press Ctrl+H to open this tab directly.
2-3. Find the history entry you are looking for.
Your history is sorted by date in three ranges: Last hour, Last week, and Older.
2-4. Delete an entry by clicking or tapping the "X" next to it.
You can remove single entries or entire date ranges.
You can also tap or click "Clear all history" to delete all entries. Ensure "Browsing history" is checked and then click "Clear."
3. Opening the History Folder
3-1. Open the Run window.
You can find this in the Start menu or by pressing ⊞ Win+R.
3-2. Type shell:history and press ↵ Enter.
This will open the History folder for the current user.
It is not possible to view the contents of another user's History folder, even if you are logged in as an administrator.
3-3. Select the date range you want to view.
The History folder contains four folders: 3 Weeks Ago, 2 Weeks Ago, Last Week, and Today. Everything older than three weeks will be found in the 3 Weeks Ago folder.
3-4. Select the website folder that you want to open.
All of your history entries are sorted into website folders. Each folder will contain the links to the specific pages you visited.
3-5. Double-click an entry to open it.
It will load in your default browser, which may not be Internet Explorer.
3-6. Add an entry to your bookmarks.
Right-click a link in one of the folders and select "Add To favorites" to add it to your bookmarks. You'll be prompted to select a location and give it a title.
3-7. Delete entries.
You can delete entries like you would any file in Windows. You can right-click one and select "Delete," or select multiple entries first. You can also drag entries to other locations or the Recycle Bin.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Internet Explorer 7+\\n1-1. Click the Star button in the upper-right corner of the window.\\nThis will open the Favorites sidebar. You can also press Ctrl+H to jump straight to the History tab of the Favorites sidebar.\\nThe Ctrl+H shortcut also works on Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox.\\nUse ⌘ Cmd+H to access your browsing history on a Mac.\\nIn Internet Explorer 7 and 8, the Favorites button is located on the left side of the Bookmarks Bar.\\nIf you're using a Windows 8 tablet with the Modern version of Internet Explorer 11, you'll need to open Internet Explorer in Desktop mode to view the history. The only way to see your history in the Modern app is through the suggested sites when you start to type an address in. You can quickly switch to the Desktop mode by tapping the Wrench button and selecting \\\"View on the desktop.\\\"\\n1-2. Click the \\\"History\\\" tab.\\nThis will already be selected if you press Ctrl+H to open the sidebar.\\n1-3. Decide how you want to organize the results.\\nBy default, your history will be sorted by date. You can use the drop-down menu at the top of the sidebar to sort by website name, most visited, and sites visited today.t to View By Date to change your viewing preference if desired. You may view a list of all websites, view by the most visited websites, view by the websites visited that same day, or search your history by entering search criteria.\\n1-4. Click a result to open or expand it.\\nDepending on your sorting preferences, your history may be organized into categories. Clicking one of these categories will display links to specific pages. For example, when viewing by site, clicking a website will show all of the pages on that site that you visited.\\n1-5. Search for a website using the \\\"Search History\\\" option.\\nSelect \\\"Search History\\\" from the drop-down menu to search for specific websites or pages that you've visited.\\n1-6. Create bookmarks from history entries.\\nYou can add any history entry to your bookmarks by right-clicking it and selecting \\\"Add To favorites.\\\" You'll be prompted to select a location for the bookmark and can give it a name.\\n1-7. Delete an entry by right-clicking it and selecting \\\"Delete.\\\"\\nYou can do this for individual entries or entire categories.\\n2. Using Microsoft Edge\\n2-1. Click or tap the Hub button.\\nYou'll find this along the top of the window. The icon looks like a paragraph.\\n2-2. Click or tap the History tab.\\nThe icon looks like a clock.\\nYou can also press Ctrl+H to open this tab directly.\\n2-3. Find the history entry you are looking for.\\nYour history is sorted by date in three ranges: Last hour, Last week, and Older.\\n2-4. Delete an entry by clicking or tapping the \\\"X\\\" next to it.\\nYou can remove single entries or entire date ranges.\\nYou can also tap or click \\\"Clear all history\\\" to delete all entries. Ensure \\\"Browsing history\\\" is checked and then click \\\"Clear.\\\"\\n3. Opening the History Folder\\n3-1. Open the Run window.\\nYou can find this in the Start menu or by pressing ⊞ Win+R.\\n3-2. Type shell:history and press ↵ Enter.\\nThis will open the History folder for the current user.\\nIt is not possible to view the contents of another user's History folder, even if you are logged in as an administrator.\\n3-3. Select the date range you want to view.\\nThe History folder contains four folders: 3 Weeks Ago, 2 Weeks Ago, Last Week, and Today. Everything older than three weeks will be found in the 3 Weeks Ago folder.\\n3-4. Select the website folder that you want to open.\\nAll of your history entries are sorted into website folders. Each folder will contain the links to the specific pages you visited.\\n3-5. Double-click an entry to open it.\\nIt will load in your default browser, which may not be Internet Explorer.\\n3-6. Add an entry to your bookmarks.\\nRight-click a link in one of the folders and select \\\"Add To favorites\\\" to add it to your bookmarks. You'll be prompted to select a location and give it a title.\\n3-7. Delete entries.\\nYou can delete entries like you would any file in Windows. You can right-click one and select \\\"Delete,\\\" or select multiple entries first. You can also drag entries to other locations or the Recycle Bin.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you use Internet Explorer, your browsing history is logged. This makes it easy to track down sites you have visited, and helps Internet Explorer with auto-completing addresses. You can view your browsing history in Internet Explorer, or through the File Explorer. Finding your history in Microsoft Edge, included in Windows 10, is very similar.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Internet Explorer 7+\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Click the Star button in the upper-right corner of the window.\", \"描述\": \"This will open the Favorites sidebar. You can also press Ctrl+H to jump straight to the History tab of the Favorites sidebar.\\nThe Ctrl+H shortcut also works on Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox.\\nUse ⌘ Cmd+H to access your browsing history on a Mac.\\nIn Internet Explorer 7 and 8, the Favorites button is located on the left side of the Bookmarks Bar.\\nIf you're using a Windows 8 tablet with the Modern version of Internet Explorer 11, you'll need to open Internet Explorer in Desktop mode to view the history. The only way to see your history in the Modern app is through the suggested sites when you start to type an address in. You can quickly switch to the Desktop mode by tapping the Wrench button and selecting \\\"View on the desktop.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the \\\"History\\\" tab.\", \"描述\": \"This will already be selected if you press Ctrl+H to open the sidebar.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Decide how you want to organize the results.\", \"描述\": \"By default, your history will be sorted by date. You can use the drop-down menu at the top of the sidebar to sort by website name, most visited, and sites visited today.t to View By Date to change your viewing preference if desired. You may view a list of all websites, view by the most visited websites, view by the websites visited that same day, or search your history by entering search criteria.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click a result to open or expand it.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on your sorting preferences, your history may be organized into categories. Clicking one of these categories will display links to specific pages. For example, when viewing by site, clicking a website will show all of the pages on that site that you visited.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Search for a website using the \\\"Search History\\\" option.\", \"描述\": \"Select \\\"Search History\\\" from the drop-down menu to search for specific websites or pages that you've visited.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Create bookmarks from history entries.\", \"描述\": \"You can add any history entry to your bookmarks by right-clicking it and selecting \\\"Add To favorites.\\\" You'll be prompted to select a location for the bookmark and can give it a name.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Delete an entry by right-clicking it and selecting \\\"Delete.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You can do this for individual entries or entire categories.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Microsoft Edge\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Click or tap the Hub button.\", \"描述\": \"You'll find this along the top of the window. The icon looks like a paragraph.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click or tap the History tab.\", \"描述\": \"The icon looks like a clock.\\nYou can also press Ctrl+H to open this tab directly.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find the history entry you are looking for.\", \"描述\": \"Your history is sorted by date in three ranges: Last hour, Last week, and Older.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Delete an entry by clicking or tapping the \\\"X\\\" next to it.\", \"描述\": \"You can remove single entries or entire date ranges.\\nYou can also tap or click \\\"Clear all history\\\" to delete all entries. Ensure \\\"Browsing history\\\" is checked and then click \\\"Clear.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Opening the History Folder\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the Run window.\", \"描述\": \"You can find this in the Start menu or by pressing ⊞ Win+R.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Type shell:history and press ↵ Enter.\", \"描述\": \"This will open the History folder for the current user.\\nIt is not possible to view the contents of another user's History folder, even if you are logged in as an administrator.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select the date range you want to view.\", \"描述\": \"The History folder contains four folders: 3 Weeks Ago, 2 Weeks Ago, Last Week, and Today. Everything older than three weeks will be found in the 3 Weeks Ago folder.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select the website folder that you want to open.\", \"描述\": \"All of your history entries are sorted into website folders. Each folder will contain the links to the specific pages you visited.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Double-click an entry to open it.\", \"描述\": \"It will load in your default browser, which may not be Internet Explorer.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add an entry to your bookmarks.\", \"描述\": \"Right-click a link in one of the folders and select \\\"Add To favorites\\\" to add it to your bookmarks. You'll be prompted to select a location and give it a title.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Delete entries.\", \"描述\": \"You can delete entries like you would any file in Windows. You can right-click one and select \\\"Delete,\\\" or select multiple entries first. You can also drag entries to other locations or the Recycle Bin.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
191 | How to Access Kindle Books on Computer | 1. Using Kindle Cloud Reader
1-1. Go to https://read.amazon.com in a web browser.
This Kindle Cloud Reader is a web-based version of the Kindle desktop app. You can use the app in any mainstream web browser to read Kindle books on your computer.
1-2. Sign in to your Amazon account.
As soon as you get to the main page, you will be asked to sign in to your Amazon.com account using your e-mail address and password. Once your password is accepted, you'll be taken to your Kindle library.
If it's your first time signing in, you'll be prompted to set up Kindle Cloud Reader for offline reading. If you want to be able to read books without internet access, click to set this up.
1-3. Click a book in your library.
If you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.
If you want to be able to download books to your computer and were not prompted to set up offline reading, click the tab at the top-center part of the screen, and then follow the on-screen instructions.
To download a book to your computer, right-click its title and select . Downloaded books are saved to the section.
1-4. Use the arrows to page through the book.
To advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key or click the on the left page.
If you want to move to rapidly move to a different location in the book, move the mouse cursor up to the top of the page to bring up the progress bar at the bottom, and then drag the slider to the desired page.
You can also browse the book's contents and sections by hovering the mouse cursor over the top of the page and clicking the open book button.
To search for something in the book, type your term(s) into the "Search" bar at the top-right corner of the page—if you don't see it, move the mouse cursor to the top of the page to make it appear.
1-5. Click the Aa button to change the book's appearance.
You'll have to hover the mouse cursor over the top of the page to bring up the toolbar if you don't see it first. You can now adjust the font size, position, colors, margins, and other details.
1-6. Add notations and bookmarks.
The Kindle Cloud Reader does allow you to leave bookmarks, make notations, and add highlights.
Click the bookmark icon on the toolbar to bookmark the current page.
To highlight or word or set of words, select the words with the mouse, and then click the option that appears.
To add a notation, highlight the appropriate words and click the option that appears. Type the text of your note and select .
1-7. Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.
It's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.
2. Using the Kindle Desktop App
2-1. Download the desktop app from https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp.
If you'd like to read your Kindle books on one specific computer even when you don't have an active internet connection, you can download the Kindle desktop app. Click the button below the cover image to download the installer, double-click the downloaded file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install.
2-2. Open the Kindle app.
After installing the app, you'll find it in the Start menu (Windows) or in the Applications folder (macOS).
2-3. Sign in to your Amazon account.
Before you can access your library, you'll need to sign in to your Amazon account by typing in your e-mail address and password. Once you're signed in, you'll see your library.
If you aren't prompted to sign in, click the two curved arrows at the top of the left column to sync—this brings up a sign-in screen.
2-4. Right-click a book and select Download.
This downloads the book to your computer so you can read it when you're offline.
Look at the "Library" panel on the left of your screen. Any books you download to the computer will be accessible in the section of this panel.
2-5. Double-click a downloaded book to open it.
If you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.
The first time you open the book, you'll be prompted to do a quick tutorial. Click to check it out.
2-6. Use the arrows to page through the book.
To advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key, or click the on the left page.
To page quickly through the book, drag the slider at the bottom of the screen forward or backward.
To go to a specific page or section, click the menu in the toolbar, and then make your selection.
2-7. Click the expand button to toggle-on full-screen mode.
It's the icon of four arrows near the top-center part of the application.
To exit full screen, press the key, the key, or click the at the bottom-center part of the page.
2-8. Click the Aa icon to change the appearance of the book.
It's at the top of the app in regular mode, and at the bottom in full-screen mode. This lets you adjust the font size, brightness, position, colors, margins, and other details.
2-9. Mark up the book.
You can add notes, highlights, and bookmarks as desired while reading the e-book.
To highlight a word or set of words, select the words, and then click one of the colored circles at the top of the context menu that appears.
To add a notation, select a word or words, and then click .
To add a bookmark, exit full-screen mode, and then click the bookmark icon with a plus (+) inside at the top-right corner.
To look up a word, select the word, and then click to define it. If you prefer, you could select or instead for alternatives.
2-10. Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.
It's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using Kindle Cloud Reader\\n1-1. Go to https://read.amazon.com in a web browser.\\nThis Kindle Cloud Reader is a web-based version of the Kindle desktop app. You can use the app in any mainstream web browser to read Kindle books on your computer.\\n1-2. Sign in to your Amazon account.\\nAs soon as you get to the main page, you will be asked to sign in to your Amazon.com account using your e-mail address and password. Once your password is accepted, you'll be taken to your Kindle library.\\nIf it's your first time signing in, you'll be prompted to set up Kindle Cloud Reader for offline reading. If you want to be able to read books without internet access, click to set this up.\\n1-3. Click a book in your library.\\nIf you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.\\nIf you want to be able to download books to your computer and were not prompted to set up offline reading, click the tab at the top-center part of the screen, and then follow the on-screen instructions.\\nTo download a book to your computer, right-click its title and select . Downloaded books are saved to the section.\\n1-4. Use the arrows to page through the book.\\nTo advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key or click the on the left page.\\nIf you want to move to rapidly move to a different location in the book, move the mouse cursor up to the top of the page to bring up the progress bar at the bottom, and then drag the slider to the desired page.\\nYou can also browse the book's contents and sections by hovering the mouse cursor over the top of the page and clicking the open book button.\\nTo search for something in the book, type your term(s) into the \\\"Search\\\" bar at the top-right corner of the page—if you don't see it, move the mouse cursor to the top of the page to make it appear.\\n1-5. Click the Aa button to change the book's appearance.\\nYou'll have to hover the mouse cursor over the top of the page to bring up the toolbar if you don't see it first. You can now adjust the font size, position, colors, margins, and other details.\\n1-6. Add notations and bookmarks.\\nThe Kindle Cloud Reader does allow you to leave bookmarks, make notations, and add highlights.\\nClick the bookmark icon on the toolbar to bookmark the current page.\\nTo highlight or word or set of words, select the words with the mouse, and then click the option that appears.\\nTo add a notation, highlight the appropriate words and click the option that appears. Type the text of your note and select .\\n1-7. Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.\\nIt's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.\\n2. Using the Kindle Desktop App\\n2-1. Download the desktop app from https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp.\\nIf you'd like to read your Kindle books on one specific computer even when you don't have an active internet connection, you can download the Kindle desktop app. Click the button below the cover image to download the installer, double-click the downloaded file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install.\\n2-2. Open the Kindle app.\\nAfter installing the app, you'll find it in the Start menu (Windows) or in the Applications folder (macOS).\\n2-3. Sign in to your Amazon account.\\nBefore you can access your library, you'll need to sign in to your Amazon account by typing in your e-mail address and password. Once you're signed in, you'll see your library.\\nIf you aren't prompted to sign in, click the two curved arrows at the top of the left column to sync—this brings up a sign-in screen.\\n2-4. Right-click a book and select Download.\\nThis downloads the book to your computer so you can read it when you're offline.\\nLook at the \\\"Library\\\" panel on the left of your screen. Any books you download to the computer will be accessible in the section of this panel.\\n2-5. Double-click a downloaded book to open it.\\nIf you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.\\nThe first time you open the book, you'll be prompted to do a quick tutorial. Click to check it out.\\n2-6. Use the arrows to page through the book.\\nTo advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key, or click the on the left page.\\nTo page quickly through the book, drag the slider at the bottom of the screen forward or backward.\\nTo go to a specific page or section, click the menu in the toolbar, and then make your selection.\\n2-7. Click the expand button to toggle-on full-screen mode.\\nIt's the icon of four arrows near the top-center part of the application.\\nTo exit full screen, press the key, the key, or click the at the bottom-center part of the page.\\n2-8. Click the Aa icon to change the appearance of the book.\\nIt's at the top of the app in regular mode, and at the bottom in full-screen mode. This lets you adjust the font size, brightness, position, colors, margins, and other details.\\n2-9. Mark up the book.\\nYou can add notes, highlights, and bookmarks as desired while reading the e-book.\\nTo highlight a word or set of words, select the words, and then click one of the colored circles at the top of the context menu that appears.\\nTo add a notation, select a word or words, and then click .\\nTo add a bookmark, exit full-screen mode, and then click the bookmark icon with a plus (+) inside at the top-right corner.\\nTo look up a word, select the word, and then click to define it. If you prefer, you could select or instead for alternatives.\\n2-10. Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.\\nIt's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to access your library of Kindle books using the Kindle Cloud Reader and the Kindle Desktop App. The Cloud Reader allows you to read books from any device with an internet connection, and also gives you the option to download books for offline use. If you prefer installing an app, you can download Kindle's Desktop app and use it to download and read any book in your library. You'll need an active Amazon account and at least one Kindle book linked to your account to use either version of the Reader.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using Kindle Cloud Reader\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://read.amazon.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"This Kindle Cloud Reader is a web-based version of the Kindle desktop app. You can use the app in any mainstream web browser to read Kindle books on your computer.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Amazon account.\", \"描述\": \"As soon as you get to the main page, you will be asked to sign in to your Amazon.com account using your e-mail address and password. Once your password is accepted, you'll be taken to your Kindle library.\\nIf it's your first time signing in, you'll be prompted to set up Kindle Cloud Reader for offline reading. If you want to be able to read books without internet access, click to set this up.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click a book in your library.\", \"描述\": \"If you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.\\nIf you want to be able to download books to your computer and were not prompted to set up offline reading, click the tab at the top-center part of the screen, and then follow the on-screen instructions.\\nTo download a book to your computer, right-click its title and select . Downloaded books are saved to the section.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use the arrows to page through the book.\", \"描述\": \"To advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key or click the on the left page.\\nIf you want to move to rapidly move to a different location in the book, move the mouse cursor up to the top of the page to bring up the progress bar at the bottom, and then drag the slider to the desired page.\\nYou can also browse the book's contents and sections by hovering the mouse cursor over the top of the page and clicking the open book button.\\nTo search for something in the book, type your term(s) into the \\\"Search\\\" bar at the top-right corner of the page—if you don't see it, move the mouse cursor to the top of the page to make it appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click the Aa button to change the book's appearance.\", \"描述\": \"You'll have to hover the mouse cursor over the top of the page to bring up the toolbar if you don't see it first. You can now adjust the font size, position, colors, margins, and other details.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Add notations and bookmarks.\", \"描述\": \"The Kindle Cloud Reader does allow you to leave bookmarks, make notations, and add highlights.\\nClick the bookmark icon on the toolbar to bookmark the current page.\\nTo highlight or word or set of words, select the words with the mouse, and then click the option that appears.\\nTo add a notation, highlight the appropriate words and click the option that appears. Type the text of your note and select .\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using the Kindle Desktop App\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Download the desktop app from https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/fd/kcp.\", \"描述\": \"If you'd like to read your Kindle books on one specific computer even when you don't have an active internet connection, you can download the Kindle desktop app. Click the button below the cover image to download the installer, double-click the downloaded file, and then follow the on-screen instructions to install.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open the Kindle app.\", \"描述\": \"After installing the app, you'll find it in the Start menu (Windows) or in the Applications folder (macOS).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Amazon account.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can access your library, you'll need to sign in to your Amazon account by typing in your e-mail address and password. Once you're signed in, you'll see your library.\\nIf you aren't prompted to sign in, click the two curved arrows at the top of the left column to sync—this brings up a sign-in screen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Right-click a book and select Download.\", \"描述\": \"This downloads the book to your computer so you can read it when you're offline.\\nLook at the \\\"Library\\\" panel on the left of your screen. Any books you download to the computer will be accessible in the section of this panel.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Double-click a downloaded book to open it.\", \"描述\": \"If you've never opened the book before, it should open to the first page. If you have read the book on another device that is synced to your Amazon account, you'll be taken to the most recent page.\\nThe first time you open the book, you'll be prompted to do a quick tutorial. Click to check it out.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use the arrows to page through the book.\", \"描述\": \"To advance forward one page, press the right-arrow key on your keyboard or click the on the right page. To go back a page, press the left-arrow key, or click the on the left page.\\nTo page quickly through the book, drag the slider at the bottom of the screen forward or backward.\\nTo go to a specific page or section, click the menu in the toolbar, and then make your selection.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click the expand button to toggle-on full-screen mode.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon of four arrows near the top-center part of the application.\\nTo exit full screen, press the key, the key, or click the at the bottom-center part of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click the Aa icon to change the appearance of the book.\", \"描述\": \"It's at the top of the app in regular mode, and at the bottom in full-screen mode. This lets you adjust the font size, brightness, position, colors, margins, and other details.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Mark up the book.\", \"描述\": \"You can add notes, highlights, and bookmarks as desired while reading the e-book.\\nTo highlight a word or set of words, select the words, and then click one of the colored circles at the top of the context menu that appears.\\nTo add a notation, select a word or words, and then click .\\nTo add a bookmark, exit full-screen mode, and then click the bookmark icon with a plus (+) inside at the top-right corner.\\nTo look up a word, select the word, and then click to define it. If you prefer, you could select or instead for alternatives.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Click the synchronize button when you're finished reading.\", \"描述\": \"It's the icon of two curved arrows in the toolbar. This synchronizes the last page you read, as well as your notes and bookmarks, with your other Kindle apps and devices.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
192 | How to Access Kinect Pictures | 1. Steps
1-1. Connect your Xbox.
Make sure the Xbox is plugged into a power outlet. Then connect the Xbox to your television set by way of a VGA Audio Visual cord, Component Audio Visual cord, or HDMI cord.
1-2. Connect the Kinect to your Xbox.
The Kinect does not need another power supply (IF you have a new Xbox Slim with a built in Kinect port) otherwise you need an additional power brick to use the Kinect with older Xboxs. Make sure you have plenty of space to move around when operating the Kinect.
1-3. Turn on your Xbox and your television.
Your Xbox will need to install updates. Make sure they are all installed before attempting to use the Kinect.
1-4. Activate your Kinect.
This is done by waving your hand at the Kinect sensor. Make sure you are three to eight feet back from the controller to get a good reading. Hands-free control is now operational.
1-5. Sign in to Xbox using your LIVE gamer tag.
1-6. Select your Xbox LIVE avatar under My Xbox.
1-7. Go to Online Safety.
1-8. Select Change Settings.
1-9. Select Customize.
1-10. Select Kinect Sharing.
Now your Kinect pictures will be able to be posted on the online Kinect database.
1-11. Play a Kinect game.
Most games have a feature which will take a snapshot of you as you go through the motions, performing whatever activity is necessary. When you are finished with a round or game, the game will show you your pictures.
1-12. Edit your pictures.
If the game does have picture option, there will be a button which allows you to view your pictures. Browse through these and delete those that you dislike or find embarrassing.
1-13. Share your pictures online.
Click on the Share Pictures button. You will now be able to select which pictures you would like to share on Kinect.
1-14. Go to Kinect on your computer.
1-15. Sign in to Kinect Share using your Windows Live I.D.
and password. There will be several icons for each different game you have played which features picture capability. Under the icon and game name will be a thumbnail of your pictures.
1-16. Click on the game name.
You will now see a full range of thumbnails of all pictures you chose to share on Kinect Share. Use the links on the right hand side of the screen to share the pictures on social media sites, download, or print them.
Warnings
Not all games take pictures as you move.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:34",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Connect your Xbox.\\nMake sure the Xbox is plugged into a power outlet. Then connect the Xbox to your television set by way of a VGA Audio Visual cord, Component Audio Visual cord, or HDMI cord.\\n1-2. Connect the Kinect to your Xbox.\\nThe Kinect does not need another power supply (IF you have a new Xbox Slim with a built in Kinect port) otherwise you need an additional power brick to use the Kinect with older Xboxs. Make sure you have plenty of space to move around when operating the Kinect.\\n1-3. Turn on your Xbox and your television.\\nYour Xbox will need to install updates. Make sure they are all installed before attempting to use the Kinect.\\n1-4. Activate your Kinect.\\nThis is done by waving your hand at the Kinect sensor. Make sure you are three to eight feet back from the controller to get a good reading. Hands-free control is now operational.\\n1-5. Sign in to Xbox using your LIVE gamer tag.\\n\\n1-6. Select your Xbox LIVE avatar under My Xbox.\\n\\n1-7. Go to Online Safety.\\n\\n1-8. Select Change Settings.\\n\\n1-9. Select Customize.\\n\\n1-10. Select Kinect Sharing.\\nNow your Kinect pictures will be able to be posted on the online Kinect database.\\n1-11. Play a Kinect game.\\nMost games have a feature which will take a snapshot of you as you go through the motions, performing whatever activity is necessary. When you are finished with a round or game, the game will show you your pictures.\\n1-12. Edit your pictures.\\nIf the game does have picture option, there will be a button which allows you to view your pictures. Browse through these and delete those that you dislike or find embarrassing.\\n1-13. Share your pictures online.\\nClick on the Share Pictures button. You will now be able to select which pictures you would like to share on Kinect.\\n1-14. Go to Kinect on your computer.\\n\\n1-15. Sign in to Kinect Share using your Windows Live I.D.\\nand password. There will be several icons for each different game you have played which features picture capability. Under the icon and game name will be a thumbnail of your pictures.\\n1-16. Click on the game name.\\nYou will now see a full range of thumbnails of all pictures you chose to share on Kinect Share. Use the links on the right hand side of the screen to share the pictures on social media sites, download, or print them.\\nWarnings\\nNot all games take pictures as you move.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Microsoft Xbox is one of the most popular gaming consoles on the market. In addition to standard controller based games, the Xbox now has a fully hands-free aspect. This is done through use of the Kinect device, which captures gamers' movements and allows them to interact with the Xbox without the use of a standard controller. Through the Kinect one can browse websites, watch videos, and play an array of video games. Many of the Kinect games will take pictures of players in action to view later on. Follow these steps to access Kinect Pictures.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Connect your Xbox.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure the Xbox is plugged into a power outlet. Then connect the Xbox to your television set by way of a VGA Audio Visual cord, Component Audio Visual cord, or HDMI cord.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Connect the Kinect to your Xbox.\", \"描述\": \"The Kinect does not need another power supply (IF you have a new Xbox Slim with a built in Kinect port) otherwise you need an additional power brick to use the Kinect with older Xboxs. Make sure you have plenty of space to move around when operating the Kinect.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn on your Xbox and your television.\", \"描述\": \"Your Xbox will need to install updates. Make sure they are all installed before attempting to use the Kinect.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Activate your Kinect.\", \"描述\": \"This is done by waving your hand at the Kinect sensor. Make sure you are three to eight feet back from the controller to get a good reading. Hands-free control is now operational.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Xbox using your LIVE gamer tag.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select your Xbox LIVE avatar under My Xbox.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Go to Online Safety.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Select Change Settings.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Select Customize.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Select Kinect Sharing.\", \"描述\": \"Now your Kinect pictures will be able to be posted on the online Kinect database.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Play a Kinect game.\", \"描述\": \"Most games have a feature which will take a snapshot of you as you go through the motions, performing whatever activity is necessary. When you are finished with a round or game, the game will show you your pictures.\"}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Edit your pictures.\", \"描述\": \"If the game does have picture option, there will be a button which allows you to view your pictures. Browse through these and delete those that you dislike or find embarrassing.\"}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"Share your pictures online.\", \"描述\": \"Click on the Share Pictures button. You will now be able to select which pictures you would like to share on Kinect.\"}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"Go to Kinect on your computer.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"Sign in to Kinect Share using your Windows Live I.D.\", \"描述\": \"and password. There will be several icons for each different game you have played which features picture capability. Under the icon and game name will be a thumbnail of your pictures.\"}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"Click on the game name.\", \"描述\": \"You will now see a full range of thumbnails of all pictures you chose to share on Kinect Share. Use the links on the right hand side of the screen to share the pictures on social media sites, download, or print them.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Not all games take pictures as you move.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
193 | How to Access Multitasking on an iPhone | 1. Using the Multitask Feature
1-1. Open your initial task.
Search for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.
1-2. Double tap the "Home" button.
The screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps. If you do not see the app that you wish to multitask with, then press the "Home" button again and go to the app how you normally would.
1-3. Scroll left or right.
To search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.
1-4. Close an app.
If you would like to close one of your applications to save battery power on your device, double tab the "Home" button again. All of the running apps will appear in a menu. Select and then swipe up on the app you want to close.
2. Multitasking with Banners
2-1. Open your initial task.
Search for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.
2-2. Receive a push notification.
When using an application on iOS7 and above, notifications will appear as clickable banners at the top of your screen regardless of what application you are working in.
To determine whether or not push notifications are enabled on your device, go to "Settings," "Notification Center," and then select the apps you would like to have banner notifications. This will lead you to a window where you can personalize the banners and alerts.
2-3. Click directly on the banner.
By clicking directly on the banner, you will be transferred to that app. For instance, if you are looking through your photos and receive a text message, you can quickly access your messaging by clicking on the banner notification.
2-4. Return to your initial app.
To return to your initial application, double-click the home button. The screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps.
2-5. Scroll left or right.
To search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.
3. Using Background App Refresh
3-1. Go to "Settings."
This is the grey icon with the cog on your home menu. Most iPhones have a feature called "Background App Refresh" that schedules updates or checks for new content automatically. This is a great tool to work with when multitasking, so you should make sure it is turned on. If you would like to turn it off, you can use the same process to access Background App Refresh's settings.
3-2. Open "Background App Refresh.
Under "General" in "Settings," go to "Background App Refresh." This will lead you to a screen that shows the current applications with the service applied to them.
3-3. Turn on the service.
To turn on Background App Refresh for a particular application, toggle the switch so that it is green. If you do not see the app you want notifications and updates from, go back to the home menu and try reopening the app. If you would like to turn this service off, which may save battery power, change the switch entitled "Background App Refresh" to grey.
Tips
Multitasking does not affect the battery life or tax the iPhone beyond normal operation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using the Multitask Feature\\n1-1. Open your initial task.\\nSearch for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.\\n1-2. Double tap the \\\"Home\\\" button.\\nThe screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps. If you do not see the app that you wish to multitask with, then press the \\\"Home\\\" button again and go to the app how you normally would.\\n1-3. Scroll left or right.\\nTo search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.\\n1-4. Close an app.\\nIf you would like to close one of your applications to save battery power on your device, double tab the \\\"Home\\\" button again. All of the running apps will appear in a menu. Select and then swipe up on the app you want to close.\\n2. Multitasking with Banners\\n2-1. Open your initial task.\\nSearch for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.\\n2-2. Receive a push notification.\\nWhen using an application on iOS7 and above, notifications will appear as clickable banners at the top of your screen regardless of what application you are working in.\\nTo determine whether or not push notifications are enabled on your device, go to \\\"Settings,\\\" \\\"Notification Center,\\\" and then select the apps you would like to have banner notifications. This will lead you to a window where you can personalize the banners and alerts.\\n2-3. Click directly on the banner.\\nBy clicking directly on the banner, you will be transferred to that app. For instance, if you are looking through your photos and receive a text message, you can quickly access your messaging by clicking on the banner notification.\\n2-4. Return to your initial app.\\nTo return to your initial application, double-click the home button. The screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps.\\n2-5. Scroll left or right.\\nTo search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.\\n3. Using Background App Refresh\\n3-1. Go to \\\"Settings.\\\"\\nThis is the grey icon with the cog on your home menu. Most iPhones have a feature called \\\"Background App Refresh\\\" that schedules updates or checks for new content automatically. This is a great tool to work with when multitasking, so you should make sure it is turned on. If you would like to turn it off, you can use the same process to access Background App Refresh's settings.\\n3-2. Open \\\"Background App Refresh.\\nUnder \\\"General\\\" in \\\"Settings,\\\" go to \\\"Background App Refresh.\\\" This will lead you to a screen that shows the current applications with the service applied to them.\\n3-3. Turn on the service.\\nTo turn on Background App Refresh for a particular application, toggle the switch so that it is green. If you do not see the app you want notifications and updates from, go back to the home menu and try reopening the app. If you would like to turn this service off, which may save battery power, change the switch entitled \\\"Background App Refresh\\\" to grey.\\nTips\\nMultitasking does not affect the battery life or tax the iPhone beyond normal operation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"With our busy schedules it is an important skill to manage time successfully and be more productive. Smartphones offer people the ability to stay in touch with the office, make restaurant reservations, check their social network accounts, pay their bills, and more. Apple has developed a way for people to be more efficient using their iPhone, called multitasking. Multitasking allows applications to run in the background while you perform other tasks on your iPhone simultaneously. For example, you can listen to music while you play games or quickly respond to a text will browsing the internet.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using the Multitask Feature\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your initial task.\", \"描述\": \"Search for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Double tap the \\\"Home\\\" button.\", \"描述\": \"The screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps. If you do not see the app that you wish to multitask with, then press the \\\"Home\\\" button again and go to the app how you normally would.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Scroll left or right.\", \"描述\": \"To search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Close an app.\", \"描述\": \"If you would like to close one of your applications to save battery power on your device, double tab the \\\"Home\\\" button again. All of the running apps will appear in a menu. Select and then swipe up on the app you want to close.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Multitasking with Banners\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open your initial task.\", \"描述\": \"Search for and run any desired app. For instance, you could be browsing the internet, looking through photos, or checking your emails.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Receive a push notification.\", \"描述\": \"When using an application on iOS7 and above, notifications will appear as clickable banners at the top of your screen regardless of what application you are working in.\\nTo determine whether or not push notifications are enabled on your device, go to \\\"Settings,\\\" \\\"Notification Center,\\\" and then select the apps you would like to have banner notifications. This will lead you to a window where you can personalize the banners and alerts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click directly on the banner.\", \"描述\": \"By clicking directly on the banner, you will be transferred to that app. For instance, if you are looking through your photos and receive a text message, you can quickly access your messaging by clicking on the banner notification.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Return to your initial app.\", \"描述\": \"To return to your initial application, double-click the home button. The screen you are on will minimize and you will be presented with a menu of all of your open apps.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Scroll left or right.\", \"描述\": \"To search for the app that you would like to relaunch, you can swipe to the left or the right on your screen in order to browse your currently running applications. Tap the app to bring that app back to the foreground. The app will start where you left off.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Using Background App Refresh\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to \\\"Settings.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"This is the grey icon with the cog on your home menu. Most iPhones have a feature called \\\"Background App Refresh\\\" that schedules updates or checks for new content automatically. This is a great tool to work with when multitasking, so you should make sure it is turned on. If you would like to turn it off, you can use the same process to access Background App Refresh's settings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open \\\"Background App Refresh.\", \"描述\": \"Under \\\"General\\\" in \\\"Settings,\\\" go to \\\"Background App Refresh.\\\" This will lead you to a screen that shows the current applications with the service applied to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Turn on the service.\", \"描述\": \"To turn on Background App Refresh for a particular application, toggle the switch so that it is green. If you do not see the app you want notifications and updates from, go back to the home menu and try reopening the app. If you would like to turn this service off, which may save battery power, change the switch entitled \\\"Background App Refresh\\\" to grey.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Multitasking does not affect the battery life or tax the iPhone beyond normal operation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
194 | How to Access Netflix on PlayStation 3 | 1. Steps
1-1. Subscribe to Netflix.
Go to the website and look up the optional plans. Unlimited instant streaming is included in all Netflix plans, with the option to also receive movies by mail.
Instant streaming through Netflix is only available in the United States and Canada. The pricing for instant streaming is the same amount in both American and Canadian dollars.
For around $7.99 per month, you can stream any movies and television shows that are available through their "Watch Instantly" database. This plan will also let you watch TV from computers that are connected to the Internet. Sign up for the free trial, which will allow you 1 month of free watching before charging your credit card.
1-2. Connect your PlayStation 3 to the Internet, if it is not already connected.
1-3. Sign into your PlayStation Network account.
The account is included when you buy a PlayStation 3.
To sign up, you will need to read and agree with the terms and conditions, enter your name, date of birth and address. Then, create a username and password and a User ID that is viewed by the public. You can also choose to enter your credit card details if you intend to buy games or applications.
1-4. Go to the XMB on your PlayStation 3.
XMB means Xross Media Bar. (Xross is pronounced "cross.") This is the user interface for the PlayStation 3 that allows you to navigate through the games and features of your PlayStation 3 by scrolling horizontally and then vertically through icons.
1-5. Go to the section called "PlayStation Network" on your XMB interface.
Click on "What's New."
1-6. Select the red Netflix square.
1-7. Follow the screen prompt to download the Netflix application.
1-8. Enter your username and password on your Netflix account.
1-9. Click on movie or television show icons with your remote or controller and add them to your "Instant Queue."
You can also select movies to watch and stream them instantly.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Subscribe to Netflix.\\nGo to the website and look up the optional plans. Unlimited instant streaming is included in all Netflix plans, with the option to also receive movies by mail.\\nInstant streaming through Netflix is only available in the United States and Canada. The pricing for instant streaming is the same amount in both American and Canadian dollars.\\nFor around $7.99 per month, you can stream any movies and television shows that are available through their \\\"Watch Instantly\\\" database. This plan will also let you watch TV from computers that are connected to the Internet. Sign up for the free trial, which will allow you 1 month of free watching before charging your credit card.\\n1-2. Connect your PlayStation 3 to the Internet, if it is not already connected.\\n\\n1-3. Sign into your PlayStation Network account.\\nThe account is included when you buy a PlayStation 3.\\nTo sign up, you will need to read and agree with the terms and conditions, enter your name, date of birth and address. Then, create a username and password and a User ID that is viewed by the public. You can also choose to enter your credit card details if you intend to buy games or applications.\\n1-4. Go to the XMB on your PlayStation 3.\\nXMB means Xross Media Bar. (Xross is pronounced \\\"cross.\\\") This is the user interface for the PlayStation 3 that allows you to navigate through the games and features of your PlayStation 3 by scrolling horizontally and then vertically through icons.\\n1-5. Go to the section called \\\"PlayStation Network\\\" on your XMB interface.\\nClick on \\\"What's New.\\\"\\n1-6. Select the red Netflix square.\\n\\n1-7. Follow the screen prompt to download the Netflix application.\\n\\n1-8. Enter your username and password on your Netflix account.\\n\\n1-9. Click on movie or television show icons with your remote or controller and add them to your \\\"Instant Queue.\\\"\\nYou can also select movies to watch and stream them instantly.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Netflix provides online video streaming in the US and Canada. In 2010, they had over 100,000 titles that subscribers could watch instantly through their computers, Internet-connected TVs and some gaming consoles. The PlayStation 3 is also known for its connectivity. Its built-in Wi-Fi unit allows users to connect easily to online gaming and programs like Netflix and Hulu. Although Netflix first sent discs to PlayStation 3 owners, as of October 2010, they released an application that subscribers could download in order to stream Netflix. See step 1 to get started using your PlayStation 3 to stream Netflix.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Subscribe to Netflix.\", \"描述\": \"Go to the website and look up the optional plans. Unlimited instant streaming is included in all Netflix plans, with the option to also receive movies by mail.\\nInstant streaming through Netflix is only available in the United States and Canada. The pricing for instant streaming is the same amount in both American and Canadian dollars.\\nFor around $7.99 per month, you can stream any movies and television shows that are available through their \\\"Watch Instantly\\\" database. This plan will also let you watch TV from computers that are connected to the Internet. Sign up for the free trial, which will allow you 1 month of free watching before charging your credit card.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Connect your PlayStation 3 to the Internet, if it is not already connected.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign into your PlayStation Network account.\", \"描述\": \"The account is included when you buy a PlayStation 3.\\nTo sign up, you will need to read and agree with the terms and conditions, enter your name, date of birth and address. Then, create a username and password and a User ID that is viewed by the public. You can also choose to enter your credit card details if you intend to buy games or applications.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Go to the XMB on your PlayStation 3.\", \"描述\": \"XMB means Xross Media Bar. (Xross is pronounced \\\"cross.\\\") This is the user interface for the PlayStation 3 that allows you to navigate through the games and features of your PlayStation 3 by scrolling horizontally and then vertically through icons.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to the section called \\\"PlayStation Network\\\" on your XMB interface.\", \"描述\": \"Click on \\\"What's New.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select the red Netflix square.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Follow the screen prompt to download the Netflix application.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enter your username and password on your Netflix account.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click on movie or television show icons with your remote or controller and add them to your \\\"Instant Queue.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"You can also select movies to watch and stream them instantly.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
195 | Access News Articles for Free: A Guide to Unlocking Paywalls | 1. Try Incognito mode to bypass a soft paywall.
Viewing a site in Incognito or Private prevents the site from storing cookies on your computer, phone, or tablet.
If the news site you want to view relies on cookies to prevent readers from viewing more than a certain number of articles, you can usually read more free articles in Incognito or Private mode. Here's how:
In any web browser on a computer, press (PC) or (Mac).
Tap the three dots at the top-right or bottom-right corner, then tap .
Tap the two overlapping squares, tap the number of tabs at the bottom, then tap . Now tap to create a new private tab.
2. Install Postlight Reader for Chrome or Edge.
Postlight Reader clears the clutter (and often, the paywall) from any website.
This extension is made for Google Chrome, but it'll work in Microsoft Edge, too. You can simply activate the Postlight Reader extension any time you see a paywall to instantly strip the paywall from just about any news site, including the New York Times, The Atlantic, and more. Just go to https://reader.postlight.com/, click , and click (even in Microsoft Edge).
Once the extension is installed, head over to a paywalled article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of your browser and select .
3. Try Reader Mode on your device.
Depending on the news site, you might be able to read it without paying in Reader Mode.
This feature is available in Safari on any Apple platform, as well as Microsoft Edge and Google Chrome. Reader Mode is meant to hide ads and give you a cleaner reading experience, but sometimes it also strips news articles of its paywall features. Just open an article with a paywall, then click the Reader icon on a Mac (the sheet of paper in the address bar) or tap and then on the menu.
There is a chance that reader mode may not work, but it is worth a shot.
4. Try 12ft.io in any browser.
This free web-based tool can remove the paywall from many news sites.
You don't have to install anything, and you can use the site on any computer, phone, or tablet. Just go to https://12ft.io, paste the URL of the article you're trying to read, and click or tap .
While 12ft.io isn't guaranteed to work for all news sites, it has a pretty good success rate for most of the sites we've tried.
Once the content loads, you'll see a notification asking you if the paywall is gone. You can help the developers by selecting or on the notification.
5. View the archived version of the site or article.
There are several web-based tools that create text and graphical copies of websites.
Depending on the news site you're trying to read, you may be able to use one of these sites to take an instant snapshot of an article and display it without the paywall. A few reliable sites you can try:
https://archive.org/web
https://archive.today
6. Paste the headline into Google.
Try searching the web for the article's exact headline.
Depending on the news site, you might be able to pull up the article if you access it directly from its link on the Google search results page. If you still get a paywall, try right-clicking the link in Google and selecting , , .
7. Use Bypass Paywalls on a computer.
This free Chrome and Edge extension will help you bypass the paywalls of most major news publications from your PC or Mac.
You can also add your own custom sites to the list if your favorite news site isn't featured. The catch is that you can't download the extension from the Chrome or Edge extension stores—you'll need to download it from Github. But don't worry, it's super easy to install. Here's how to get it:
Download the ZIP file from https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-chrome/archive/master.zip.
Unzip the file—you'll now have a folder called bypass-paywalls-chrome-master.
Open Chrome and go to chrome://extensions. If you're using Edge, go to edge://extensions.
Toggle on "Developer mode."
Drag the bypass-paywalls-chrome-master to the page to import it. Don't delete the folder—you'll need to keep it for the extension to work.
Select the news sites you want to read—you can keep them all selected if you'd like, or add additional sites to the tab. If you do have a subscription to any of the sites on the list, remove the checkmark from that site—the extension will log you out of that site otherwise.
Click .
Go to the article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of Chrome and select to read the article.
8. Use a paywall-bypassing iPhone shortcut.
If you're using an iPhone or iPad, you can add a paywall bypassing shortcut to the Shortcuts app.
The Shortcuts app isn't just for creating automations—people create all sorts of useful Shortcuts, including this handy shortcut that bypasses the soft paywalls on just about any news site.
To install, just go to https://routinehub.co/shortcut/4988 on your iPhone or iPad and tap to install it. Once installed, reading news articles for free is easy.
Go to any paywalled news article in Safari. Make sure you're looking at a news article that shows you some part of the article, such as Washington Times, Wired, or The Guardian.
Tap the Sharing icon once you see the paywall—it's the square and up-arrow at the bottom of Safari.
Tap Paywall and Cookie Bypass.
Tap and then .
The page will redirect and open in Safari without the paywall.
9. Use Bypass Paywalls Clean for Android.
You can install this extension in the Firefox Nightly browser for Android to block all paywalls.
If you're not already using Firefox Nightly (a browser with support for Chrome desktop extensions), you can install it easily from the Play Store. Once the browser is installed, follow these steps to use Bypass Paywalls Clean to read articles on hundreds of paywalled sites for free:
Open Firefox Nightly and tap .
Go to https://addons.mozilla.org.
If you don't have a Firefox account, you'll need to create one. Sign in or create an account now.
Go to https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-clean.
Scroll down to the "Add to collection" area.
Tap the drop-down menu and select .
Type Bypass Paywalls Clean and tap .
Highlight and copy your "Firefox user" number from the left panel.
Tap the three dots at the bottom-right corner and go to > .
Tap the Firefox Nightly logo 5 times.
Tap the back button to return to the Settings menu and select .
Paste your copied Firefox ID, type Bypass Paywalls Clean. If Firefox Nightly closes, reopen it.
Tap the three dots at the bottom-right and select .
Tap the next to "Bypass Paywalls Clean" and select > .
Now that the extension is installed, browse just about any website with a hard or soft paywall to read the news for free.
10. Use a service or browser that hides your IP address.
If the news site tracks your IP address instead of (or in addition to) cookies, masking your IP address can get you more articles.
Like using Incognito and deleting cookies, masking your IP address usually only works for soft paywalls—the sites that let you read a few articles before charging you for a subscription. Here are some easy ways to hide your IP address:
The Opera web browser for Windows, macOS, and Android comes with a built-in VPN that you can use to mask your IP address. You can get Opera from https://www.opera.com/download or from the Play Store.
Get a VPN. The best VPN options cost money, but they come with other benefits—including keeping your computer and network secure while you browse the web.
If you don't want to pay for a VPN, you can use a free web proxy instead. While a free proxy will usually slow down your browsing, it'll be helpful if you just want to view a few free articles.
The Tor web browser is another browser with a built-in feature that masks your IP address. You can get Tor for Windows, macOS, and Android from https://www.torproject.org/download.
11. Delete the page's cookies to read more articles.
This trick works for most news sites that let you view some articles before asking you to pay.
While viewing the site in Incognito or Private mode may be easier for most people, this is another workaround that gets rid of cookies that prevent you from reading additional articles. Each time you run into the soft paywall, delete the site's cookies using these steps:
On Chrome or Edge on a computer, click the padlock icon in the address bar, click , select each cookie for the news website, and click .
In Safari on a Mac, go to > > > > select the website, then click .
For Safari on an iPhone, go to > > > , tap , then tap the red circle next to the site.
For Chrome on an Android, open Chrome, tap the three dots in the address bar, go to > , then tap the trash icon next to the number of cookies.
12. Access articles through your local library.
Log in to your local library's website to read news articles.
Depending on the publications to which your local library subscribes, you may be able to read an unlimited number of news articles for free just by signing in. At the very least, you'll usually be able to read subscriber-only content from your local newspaper, but some libraries also subscribe to larger publications like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. You'll just need a library card and an online account to start reading.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Try Incognito mode to bypass a soft paywall.\\nViewing a site in Incognito or Private prevents the site from storing cookies on your computer, phone, or tablet.\\nIf the news site you want to view relies on cookies to prevent readers from viewing more than a certain number of articles, you can usually read more free articles in Incognito or Private mode. Here's how:\\nIn any web browser on a computer, press (PC) or (Mac).\\n Tap the three dots at the top-right or bottom-right corner, then tap .\\n Tap the two overlapping squares, tap the number of tabs at the bottom, then tap . Now tap to create a new private tab.\\n2. Install Postlight Reader for Chrome or Edge.\\nPostlight Reader clears the clutter (and often, the paywall) from any website.\\nThis extension is made for Google Chrome, but it'll work in Microsoft Edge, too. You can simply activate the Postlight Reader extension any time you see a paywall to instantly strip the paywall from just about any news site, including the New York Times, The Atlantic, and more. Just go to https://reader.postlight.com/, click , and click (even in Microsoft Edge).\\nOnce the extension is installed, head over to a paywalled article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of your browser and select .\\n3. Try Reader Mode on your device.\\nDepending on the news site, you might be able to read it without paying in Reader Mode.\\nThis feature is available in Safari on any Apple platform, as well as Microsoft Edge and Google Chrome. Reader Mode is meant to hide ads and give you a cleaner reading experience, but sometimes it also strips news articles of its paywall features. Just open an article with a paywall, then click the Reader icon on a Mac (the sheet of paper in the address bar) or tap and then on the menu. \\nThere is a chance that reader mode may not work, but it is worth a shot.\\n4. Try 12ft.io in any browser.\\nThis free web-based tool can remove the paywall from many news sites.\\nYou don't have to install anything, and you can use the site on any computer, phone, or tablet. Just go to https://12ft.io, paste the URL of the article you're trying to read, and click or tap .\\nWhile 12ft.io isn't guaranteed to work for all news sites, it has a pretty good success rate for most of the sites we've tried.\\nOnce the content loads, you'll see a notification asking you if the paywall is gone. You can help the developers by selecting or on the notification.\\n5. View the archived version of the site or article.\\nThere are several web-based tools that create text and graphical copies of websites.\\nDepending on the news site you're trying to read, you may be able to use one of these sites to take an instant snapshot of an article and display it without the paywall. A few reliable sites you can try:\\nhttps://archive.org/web\\nhttps://archive.today\\n6. Paste the headline into Google.\\nTry searching the web for the article's exact headline.\\nDepending on the news site, you might be able to pull up the article if you access it directly from its link on the Google search results page. If you still get a paywall, try right-clicking the link in Google and selecting , , .\\n7. Use Bypass Paywalls on a computer.\\nThis free Chrome and Edge extension will help you bypass the paywalls of most major news publications from your PC or Mac.\\nYou can also add your own custom sites to the list if your favorite news site isn't featured. The catch is that you can't download the extension from the Chrome or Edge extension stores—you'll need to download it from Github. But don't worry, it's super easy to install. Here's how to get it:\\nDownload the ZIP file from https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-chrome/archive/master.zip.\\nUnzip the file—you'll now have a folder called bypass-paywalls-chrome-master.\\nOpen Chrome and go to chrome://extensions. If you're using Edge, go to edge://extensions.\\nToggle on \\\"Developer mode.\\\"\\nDrag the bypass-paywalls-chrome-master to the page to import it. Don't delete the folder—you'll need to keep it for the extension to work.\\nSelect the news sites you want to read—you can keep them all selected if you'd like, or add additional sites to the tab. If you do have a subscription to any of the sites on the list, remove the checkmark from that site—the extension will log you out of that site otherwise.\\nClick .\\nGo to the article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of Chrome and select to read the article.\\n8. Use a paywall-bypassing iPhone shortcut.\\nIf you're using an iPhone or iPad, you can add a paywall bypassing shortcut to the Shortcuts app.\\nThe Shortcuts app isn't just for creating automations—people create all sorts of useful Shortcuts, including this handy shortcut that bypasses the soft paywalls on just about any news site. \\nTo install, just go to https://routinehub.co/shortcut/4988 on your iPhone or iPad and tap to install it. Once installed, reading news articles for free is easy.\\nGo to any paywalled news article in Safari. Make sure you're looking at a news article that shows you some part of the article, such as Washington Times, Wired, or The Guardian.\\nTap the Sharing icon once you see the paywall—it's the square and up-arrow at the bottom of Safari.\\nTap Paywall and Cookie Bypass.\\nTap and then .\\nThe page will redirect and open in Safari without the paywall.\\n9. Use Bypass Paywalls Clean for Android.\\nYou can install this extension in the Firefox Nightly browser for Android to block all paywalls.\\nIf you're not already using Firefox Nightly (a browser with support for Chrome desktop extensions), you can install it easily from the Play Store. Once the browser is installed, follow these steps to use Bypass Paywalls Clean to read articles on hundreds of paywalled sites for free:\\nOpen Firefox Nightly and tap .\\nGo to https://addons.mozilla.org.\\nIf you don't have a Firefox account, you'll need to create one. Sign in or create an account now.\\nGo to https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-clean.\\nScroll down to the \\\"Add to collection\\\" area.\\nTap the drop-down menu and select .\\nType Bypass Paywalls Clean and tap .\\nHighlight and copy your \\\"Firefox user\\\" number from the left panel.\\nTap the three dots at the bottom-right corner and go to > .\\nTap the Firefox Nightly logo 5 times.\\nTap the back button to return to the Settings menu and select .\\nPaste your copied Firefox ID, type Bypass Paywalls Clean. If Firefox Nightly closes, reopen it.\\nTap the three dots at the bottom-right and select .\\nTap the next to \\\"Bypass Paywalls Clean\\\" and select > .\\nNow that the extension is installed, browse just about any website with a hard or soft paywall to read the news for free.\\n10. Use a service or browser that hides your IP address.\\nIf the news site tracks your IP address instead of (or in addition to) cookies, masking your IP address can get you more articles.\\nLike using Incognito and deleting cookies, masking your IP address usually only works for soft paywalls—the sites that let you read a few articles before charging you for a subscription. Here are some easy ways to hide your IP address:\\nThe Opera web browser for Windows, macOS, and Android comes with a built-in VPN that you can use to mask your IP address. You can get Opera from https://www.opera.com/download or from the Play Store.\\nGet a VPN. The best VPN options cost money, but they come with other benefits—including keeping your computer and network secure while you browse the web.\\nIf you don't want to pay for a VPN, you can use a free web proxy instead. While a free proxy will usually slow down your browsing, it'll be helpful if you just want to view a few free articles.\\nThe Tor web browser is another browser with a built-in feature that masks your IP address. You can get Tor for Windows, macOS, and Android from https://www.torproject.org/download.\\n11. Delete the page's cookies to read more articles.\\nThis trick works for most news sites that let you view some articles before asking you to pay.\\nWhile viewing the site in Incognito or Private mode may be easier for most people, this is another workaround that gets rid of cookies that prevent you from reading additional articles. Each time you run into the soft paywall, delete the site's cookies using these steps:\\nOn Chrome or Edge on a computer, click the padlock icon in the address bar, click , select each cookie for the news website, and click .\\nIn Safari on a Mac, go to > > > > select the website, then click .\\nFor Safari on an iPhone, go to > > > , tap , then tap the red circle next to the site.\\nFor Chrome on an Android, open Chrome, tap the three dots in the address bar, go to > , then tap the trash icon next to the number of cookies.\\n12. Access articles through your local library.\\nLog in to your local library's website to read news articles.\\nDepending on the publications to which your local library subscribes, you may be able to read an unlimited number of news articles for free just by signing in. At the very least, you'll usually be able to read subscriber-only content from your local newspaper, but some libraries also subscribe to larger publications like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. You'll just need a library card and an online account to start reading.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you trying to read a news article that requires a subscription? Even if you do support great journalism, it can be pricey to subscribe to every publication you want to read. If you're not ready to commit to a subscription, there are several ways to access any news article for free—even if it's behind a paywall. This wikiHow article will teach you 12 easy tricks for reading any news articles online without a subscription.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try Incognito mode to bypass a soft paywall.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Viewing a site in Incognito or Private prevents the site from storing cookies on your computer, phone, or tablet.\", \"描述\": \"If the news site you want to view relies on cookies to prevent readers from viewing more than a certain number of articles, you can usually read more free articles in Incognito or Private mode. Here's how:\\nIn any web browser on a computer, press (PC) or (Mac).\\n Tap the three dots at the top-right or bottom-right corner, then tap .\\n Tap the two overlapping squares, tap the number of tabs at the bottom, then tap . Now tap to create a new private tab.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Install Postlight Reader for Chrome or Edge.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Postlight Reader clears the clutter (and often, the paywall) from any website.\", \"描述\": \"This extension is made for Google Chrome, but it'll work in Microsoft Edge, too. You can simply activate the Postlight Reader extension any time you see a paywall to instantly strip the paywall from just about any news site, including the New York Times, The Atlantic, and more. Just go to https://reader.postlight.com/, click , and click (even in Microsoft Edge).\\nOnce the extension is installed, head over to a paywalled article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of your browser and select .\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Try Reader Mode on your device.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Depending on the news site, you might be able to read it without paying in Reader Mode.\", \"描述\": \"This feature is available in Safari on any Apple platform, as well as Microsoft Edge and Google Chrome. Reader Mode is meant to hide ads and give you a cleaner reading experience, but sometimes it also strips news articles of its paywall features. Just open an article with a paywall, then click the Reader icon on a Mac (the sheet of paper in the address bar) or tap and then on the menu. \\nThere is a chance that reader mode may not work, but it is worth a shot.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try 12ft.io in any browser.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This free web-based tool can remove the paywall from many news sites.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to install anything, and you can use the site on any computer, phone, or tablet. Just go to https://12ft.io, paste the URL of the article you're trying to read, and click or tap .\\nWhile 12ft.io isn't guaranteed to work for all news sites, it has a pretty good success rate for most of the sites we've tried.\\nOnce the content loads, you'll see a notification asking you if the paywall is gone. You can help the developers by selecting or on the notification.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"View the archived version of the site or article.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"There are several web-based tools that create text and graphical copies of websites.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the news site you're trying to read, you may be able to use one of these sites to take an instant snapshot of an article and display it without the paywall. A few reliable sites you can try:\\nhttps://archive.org/web\\nhttps://archive.today\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Paste the headline into Google.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try searching the web for the article's exact headline.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the news site, you might be able to pull up the article if you access it directly from its link on the Google search results page. If you still get a paywall, try right-clicking the link in Google and selecting , , .\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use Bypass Paywalls on a computer.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This free Chrome and Edge extension will help you bypass the paywalls of most major news publications from your PC or Mac.\", \"描述\": \"You can also add your own custom sites to the list if your favorite news site isn't featured. The catch is that you can't download the extension from the Chrome or Edge extension stores—you'll need to download it from Github. But don't worry, it's super easy to install. Here's how to get it:\\nDownload the ZIP file from https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-chrome/archive/master.zip.\\nUnzip the file—you'll now have a folder called bypass-paywalls-chrome-master.\\nOpen Chrome and go to chrome://extensions. If you're using Edge, go to edge://extensions.\\nToggle on \\\"Developer mode.\\\"\\nDrag the bypass-paywalls-chrome-master to the page to import it. Don't delete the folder—you'll need to keep it for the extension to work.\\nSelect the news sites you want to read—you can keep them all selected if you'd like, or add additional sites to the tab. If you do have a subscription to any of the sites on the list, remove the checkmark from that site—the extension will log you out of that site otherwise.\\nClick .\\nGo to the article you want to read. Then, click the puzzle piece icon at the top-right corner of Chrome and select to read the article.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use a paywall-bypassing iPhone shortcut.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you're using an iPhone or iPad, you can add a paywall bypassing shortcut to the Shortcuts app.\", \"描述\": \"The Shortcuts app isn't just for creating automations—people create all sorts of useful Shortcuts, including this handy shortcut that bypasses the soft paywalls on just about any news site. \\nTo install, just go to https://routinehub.co/shortcut/4988 on your iPhone or iPad and tap to install it. Once installed, reading news articles for free is easy.\\nGo to any paywalled news article in Safari. Make sure you're looking at a news article that shows you some part of the article, such as Washington Times, Wired, or The Guardian.\\nTap the Sharing icon once you see the paywall—it's the square and up-arrow at the bottom of Safari.\\nTap Paywall and Cookie Bypass.\\nTap and then .\\nThe page will redirect and open in Safari without the paywall.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Use Bypass Paywalls Clean for Android.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can install this extension in the Firefox Nightly browser for Android to block all paywalls.\", \"描述\": \"If you're not already using Firefox Nightly (a browser with support for Chrome desktop extensions), you can install it easily from the Play Store. Once the browser is installed, follow these steps to use Bypass Paywalls Clean to read articles on hundreds of paywalled sites for free:\\nOpen Firefox Nightly and tap .\\nGo to https://addons.mozilla.org.\\nIf you don't have a Firefox account, you'll need to create one. Sign in or create an account now.\\nGo to https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-clean.\\nScroll down to the \\\"Add to collection\\\" area.\\nTap the drop-down menu and select .\\nType Bypass Paywalls Clean and tap .\\nHighlight and copy your \\\"Firefox user\\\" number from the left panel.\\nTap the three dots at the bottom-right corner and go to > .\\nTap the Firefox Nightly logo 5 times.\\nTap the back button to return to the Settings menu and select .\\nPaste your copied Firefox ID, type Bypass Paywalls Clean. If Firefox Nightly closes, reopen it.\\nTap the three dots at the bottom-right and select .\\nTap the next to \\\"Bypass Paywalls Clean\\\" and select > .\\nNow that the extension is installed, browse just about any website with a hard or soft paywall to read the news for free.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Use a service or browser that hides your IP address.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If the news site tracks your IP address instead of (or in addition to) cookies, masking your IP address can get you more articles.\", \"描述\": \"Like using Incognito and deleting cookies, masking your IP address usually only works for soft paywalls—the sites that let you read a few articles before charging you for a subscription. Here are some easy ways to hide your IP address:\\nThe Opera web browser for Windows, macOS, and Android comes with a built-in VPN that you can use to mask your IP address. You can get Opera from https://www.opera.com/download or from the Play Store.\\nGet a VPN. The best VPN options cost money, but they come with other benefits—including keeping your computer and network secure while you browse the web.\\nIf you don't want to pay for a VPN, you can use a free web proxy instead. While a free proxy will usually slow down your browsing, it'll be helpful if you just want to view a few free articles.\\nThe Tor web browser is another browser with a built-in feature that masks your IP address. You can get Tor for Windows, macOS, and Android from https://www.torproject.org/download.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Delete the page's cookies to read more articles.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This trick works for most news sites that let you view some articles before asking you to pay.\", \"描述\": \"While viewing the site in Incognito or Private mode may be easier for most people, this is another workaround that gets rid of cookies that prevent you from reading additional articles. Each time you run into the soft paywall, delete the site's cookies using these steps:\\nOn Chrome or Edge on a computer, click the padlock icon in the address bar, click , select each cookie for the news website, and click .\\nIn Safari on a Mac, go to > > > > select the website, then click .\\nFor Safari on an iPhone, go to > > > , tap , then tap the red circle next to the site.\\nFor Chrome on an Android, open Chrome, tap the three dots in the address bar, go to > , then tap the trash icon next to the number of cookies.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Access articles through your local library.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Log in to your local library's website to read news articles.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the publications to which your local library subscribes, you may be able to read an unlimited number of news articles for free just by signing in. At the very least, you'll usually be able to read subscriber-only content from your local newspaper, but some libraries also subscribe to larger publications like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. You'll just need a library card and an online account to start reading.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
196 | How to Access Newsgroups | 1. Steps
1-1. Locate your newsgroup reader.
Windows Vista and Windows 7 provide newsreaders in Windows Mail. In older versions of Windows, look for your newsreader in Outlook Express. Otherwise, access newsgroups through one of the many portals on the Internet. Some popular newsgroups include Usenet.org, Google Groups, and Yahoo! Groups. Mac users have various options to download, including Unison, NewsFire, and NewsHunter.
1-2. Open your newsreader.
In Windows Mail, find "Newsgroups" under "Tools" on the Menu bar. If you're accessing newsgroups through another server, follow the instructions to create a newsgroup server account. Some public newsgroups require downloading a specific newsgroup reader. Others like Google Groups allow users to access Usenet through their site.
1-3. Subscribe to a group or two that interests you.
These subjects can be as broad or specific as you want. For example, you can join a guitar group or a Rickenbacker guitar newsgroup. The newsgroup server will show all available newsgroups available on the server. In Windows Mail, choose a newsgroup, and click subscribe. Google Group users click on subjects, and then subcategories until finding the right one. Mac users can open up choices by clicking on a newsgroup so that a minus sign or downward arrow appears. Once a user finds a newsgroup to join, it's just a matter of clicking on subscribe.
1-4. Search for specific newsgroups by inserting a keyword or keywords into the newsgroup search box.
The search will reveal all groups that fit.
1-5. Create a new newsgroup if you can't locate the specific topic that you're looking for, but you'll have to have an account with a news server.
With Google and Yahoo!, it's as simple as signing up with your email address .
1-6. Post questions and comments on topics that interest you or join discussion forums.
The newsgroup information will appear in your e-mail window if you are using Windows Mail or in your browser window. Some newsgroup servers also allow users the option of receiving news as separate emails or summarized in a digest format.
1-7. Unsubscribe to newsgroups that you no longer have an interest for or that aren't meeting your needs.
Tips
ALT (alternative) newsgroups are the easiest newsgroups to create from as they rarely have moderators.
If you see a reference to NNTP (Network News Transfer Protocol)newsgroups, these are non-Usenet newsgroups, often started by private companies.
Warnings
ALT newsgroups can sometimes be controversial.
Be careful about oversubscribing to newsgroups. Some may generate hundreds of messages a day.
Some newsgroup sites, such as Newsgroups-Download.com, charge a fee. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Weigh the pros and cons of newsgroup site services.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Locate your newsgroup reader.\\nWindows Vista and Windows 7 provide newsreaders in Windows Mail. In older versions of Windows, look for your newsreader in Outlook Express. Otherwise, access newsgroups through one of the many portals on the Internet. Some popular newsgroups include Usenet.org, Google Groups, and Yahoo! Groups. Mac users have various options to download, including Unison, NewsFire, and NewsHunter.\\n1-2. Open your newsreader.\\nIn Windows Mail, find \\\"Newsgroups\\\" under \\\"Tools\\\" on the Menu bar. If you're accessing newsgroups through another server, follow the instructions to create a newsgroup server account. Some public newsgroups require downloading a specific newsgroup reader. Others like Google Groups allow users to access Usenet through their site.\\n1-3. Subscribe to a group or two that interests you.\\nThese subjects can be as broad or specific as you want. For example, you can join a guitar group or a Rickenbacker guitar newsgroup. The newsgroup server will show all available newsgroups available on the server. In Windows Mail, choose a newsgroup, and click subscribe. Google Group users click on subjects, and then subcategories until finding the right one. Mac users can open up choices by clicking on a newsgroup so that a minus sign or downward arrow appears. Once a user finds a newsgroup to join, it's just a matter of clicking on subscribe.\\n1-4. Search for specific newsgroups by inserting a keyword or keywords into the newsgroup search box.\\nThe search will reveal all groups that fit.\\n1-5. Create a new newsgroup if you can't locate the specific topic that you're looking for, but you'll have to have an account with a news server.\\nWith Google and Yahoo!, it's as simple as signing up with your email address .\\n1-6. Post questions and comments on topics that interest you or join discussion forums.\\nThe newsgroup information will appear in your e-mail window if you are using Windows Mail or in your browser window. Some newsgroup servers also allow users the option of receiving news as separate emails or summarized in a digest format.\\n1-7. Unsubscribe to newsgroups that you no longer have an interest for or that aren't meeting your needs.\\n\\nTips\\nALT (alternative) newsgroups are the easiest newsgroups to create from as they rarely have moderators.\\nIf you see a reference to NNTP (Network News Transfer Protocol)newsgroups, these are non-Usenet newsgroups, often started by private companies.\\nWarnings\\nALT newsgroups can sometimes be controversial.\\nBe careful about oversubscribing to newsgroups. Some may generate hundreds of messages a day.\\nSome newsgroup sites, such as Newsgroups-Download.com, charge a fee. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Weigh the pros and cons of newsgroup site services.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Since the beginning of the Internet, newsgroups like \\\"Usenet\\\" (user network) have offered people a means for discussing topics of interest. Newsgroups are electronic communities or groups which provide a central location for information and discussion in nine (and sometimes more) major subjects that are further divided into subcategories. Users can find useful and interesting information once they learn how to access newsgroups.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Locate your newsgroup reader.\", \"描述\": \"Windows Vista and Windows 7 provide newsreaders in Windows Mail. In older versions of Windows, look for your newsreader in Outlook Express. Otherwise, access newsgroups through one of the many portals on the Internet. Some popular newsgroups include Usenet.org, Google Groups, and Yahoo! Groups. Mac users have various options to download, including Unison, NewsFire, and NewsHunter.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open your newsreader.\", \"描述\": \"In Windows Mail, find \\\"Newsgroups\\\" under \\\"Tools\\\" on the Menu bar. If you're accessing newsgroups through another server, follow the instructions to create a newsgroup server account. Some public newsgroups require downloading a specific newsgroup reader. Others like Google Groups allow users to access Usenet through their site.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Subscribe to a group or two that interests you.\", \"描述\": \"These subjects can be as broad or specific as you want. For example, you can join a guitar group or a Rickenbacker guitar newsgroup. The newsgroup server will show all available newsgroups available on the server. In Windows Mail, choose a newsgroup, and click subscribe. Google Group users click on subjects, and then subcategories until finding the right one. Mac users can open up choices by clicking on a newsgroup so that a minus sign or downward arrow appears. Once a user finds a newsgroup to join, it's just a matter of clicking on subscribe.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Search for specific newsgroups by inserting a keyword or keywords into the newsgroup search box.\", \"描述\": \"The search will reveal all groups that fit.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create a new newsgroup if you can't locate the specific topic that you're looking for, but you'll have to have an account with a news server.\", \"描述\": \"With Google and Yahoo!, it's as simple as signing up with your email address .\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Post questions and comments on topics that interest you or join discussion forums.\", \"描述\": \"The newsgroup information will appear in your e-mail window if you are using Windows Mail or in your browser window. Some newsgroup servers also allow users the option of receiving news as separate emails or summarized in a digest format.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Unsubscribe to newsgroups that you no longer have an interest for or that aren't meeting your needs.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"ALT (alternative) newsgroups are the easiest newsgroups to create from as they rarely have moderators.\\n\", \"If you see a reference to NNTP (Network News Transfer Protocol)newsgroups, these are non-Usenet newsgroups, often started by private companies.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"ALT newsgroups can sometimes be controversial.\\n\", \"Be careful about oversubscribing to newsgroups. Some may generate hundreds of messages a day.\\n\", \"Some newsgroup sites, such as Newsgroups-Download.com, charge a fee. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Weigh the pros and cons of newsgroup site services.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
197 | How to Access Nvidia Overlay with GeForce Experience (2020) | 1. Steps
1-1. Launch your game.
Since an overlay is intended to display on top of another full-screen program, you'll need to be running one in order to activate the overlay feature.
1-2. Press and hold Alt+Z.
If you don't see an overlay, you'll need to open the GeForce Experience application in the background and click the green button on the left side of Settings.
You can download GeForce Experience from https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/geforce/geforce-experience/.
1-3. Release the keys when you see the overlay appear.
You can click buttons in the options to take a screenshot, record video, and broadcast your game live to Twitch using the overlay in NVIDIA Share.
Tips
If you aren't sure if your computer can run Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share, launch GeForce Experience then click the My Rig tab and check the Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share tab.
Update your drivers, close third-party apps, and repair your Visual C++ Suite if you're running into issues and can't use NVIDIA Overlay.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Launch your game.\\nSince an overlay is intended to display on top of another full-screen program, you'll need to be running one in order to activate the overlay feature.\\n1-2. Press and hold Alt+Z.\\nIf you don't see an overlay, you'll need to open the GeForce Experience application in the background and click the green button on the left side of Settings.\\nYou can download GeForce Experience from https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/geforce/geforce-experience/.\\n1-3. Release the keys when you see the overlay appear.\\nYou can click buttons in the options to take a screenshot, record video, and broadcast your game live to Twitch using the overlay in NVIDIA Share.\\nTips\\nIf you aren't sure if your computer can run Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share, launch GeForce Experience then click the My Rig tab and check the Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share tab.\\nUpdate your drivers, close third-party apps, and repair your Visual C++ Suite if you're running into issues and can't use NVIDIA Overlay.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to access the NVIDIA overlay using GeForce Experience.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Launch your game.\", \"描述\": \"Since an overlay is intended to display on top of another full-screen program, you'll need to be running one in order to activate the overlay feature.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Press and hold Alt+Z.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't see an overlay, you'll need to open the GeForce Experience application in the background and click the green button on the left side of Settings.\\nYou can download GeForce Experience from https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/geforce/geforce-experience/.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Release the keys when you see the overlay appear.\", \"描述\": \"You can click buttons in the options to take a screenshot, record video, and broadcast your game live to Twitch using the overlay in NVIDIA Share.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you aren't sure if your computer can run Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share, launch GeForce Experience then click the My Rig tab and check the Shadowplay or NVIDIA Share tab.\\n\", \"Update your drivers, close third-party apps, and repair your Visual C++ Suite if you're running into issues and can't use NVIDIA Overlay.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
198 | How to Access Office 365 Admin Center on PC or Mac | 1. Steps
1-1. Open the Microsoft Office website in your internet browser.
Type www.office.com into your browser's address bar, and hit ↵ Enter or ⏎ Return on your keyboard.
1-2. Click the Sign in button on the top-right.
You can find this button in the upper-right corner of the page. It will open the login portal on a new page.
1-3. Sign in to your Office 365 admin account.
You'll have to sign in with an account that has admin permissions in order to view the admin center.
Enter your admin account's email address, phone number, or Skype name.
Click .
Enter your account password.
Click .
1-4. Click the icon on the top-left.
You can find this button in the upper-left corner of your screen. It will open the Apps menu.
1-5. Click Admin on the Apps menu.
This will open the Office 365 admin center on the right-hand side.
The Admin tile will appear only if you're signed into an account with admin permissions.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Open the Microsoft Office website in your internet browser.\\nType www.office.com into your browser's address bar, and hit ↵ Enter or ⏎ Return on your keyboard.\\n1-2. Click the Sign in button on the top-right.\\nYou can find this button in the upper-right corner of the page. It will open the login portal on a new page.\\n1-3. Sign in to your Office 365 admin account.\\nYou'll have to sign in with an account that has admin permissions in order to view the admin center.\\nEnter your admin account's email address, phone number, or Skype name.\\nClick .\\nEnter your account password.\\nClick .\\n1-4. Click the icon on the top-left.\\nYou can find this button in the upper-left corner of your screen. It will open the Apps menu.\\n1-5. Click Admin on the Apps menu.\\nThis will open the Office 365 admin center on the right-hand side.\\nThe Admin tile will appear only if you're signed into an account with admin permissions.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you need to install Office applications, manage user email accounts, or perform any other admin tasks for your Microsoft 365 Business account, you'll need to sign in to the Admin Center. You can access the Admin Center in your web browser, either by going to https://admin.microsoft.com, or by selecting the Admin link in your Microsoft profile. This wikiHow article will show you how to log in to the Microsoft 365 Admin Center to manage your organization.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the Microsoft Office website in your internet browser.\", \"描述\": \"Type www.office.com into your browser's address bar, and hit ↵ Enter or ⏎ Return on your keyboard.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the Sign in button on the top-right.\", \"描述\": \"You can find this button in the upper-right corner of the page. It will open the login portal on a new page.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sign in to your Office 365 admin account.\", \"描述\": \"You'll have to sign in with an account that has admin permissions in order to view the admin center.\\nEnter your admin account's email address, phone number, or Skype name.\\nClick .\\nEnter your account password.\\nClick .\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the icon on the top-left.\", \"描述\": \"You can find this button in the upper-left corner of your screen. It will open the Apps menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Admin on the Apps menu.\", \"描述\": \"This will open the Office 365 admin center on the right-hand side.\\nThe Admin tile will appear only if you're signed into an account with admin permissions.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
199 | How to Access Old Tax Returns | 1. Accessing a Transcript of Old Tax Returns
1-1. Determine which type of transcript you need.
The IRS offers several different transcript types free of charge. The broadest type is the Tax Return Transcript, which is available for the current year and any returns processed within the past 3 years. It is the best option if you are using the old tax returns to apply for a mortgage or a student loan.
Another option is to request the Tax Account Transcript, which contains information like the return type, marital status, gross income, and payment types in your old returns going back 3 years. It also shows changes you made after you filed your original return.
1-2. Register online with the IRS.
You can register with the IRS free of charge here: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript. You will need to provide your Social Security Number, date of birth, filing status (single, married, etc.), phone number, and a mailing address. You will also need to provide your personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit.
If you want to access the transcript online, you will also need to provide your email address.
If you want a transcript mailed to you, you do not need to provide a personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit, or a phone number.
Having an online account with IRS also allows you to check on the status of your taxes and do other tax-related tasks through the online portal.
1-3. Request a transcript of your old tax returns online.
Once you register online with the IRS, you can send in a request for the transcript type that suits your needs. The transcripts are free of charge, so you do not need to include a payment with your request.
1-4. View the transcript online or receive it by mail.
If you choose to view the transcript online, it will appear within a few minutes so you can access it on your computer. You can then download and print it if you’d prefer a hard copy.
If you choose to receive the transcript by mail, it should arrive within 5-10 days to the mailing address you provided when you set up an account with the IRS.
2. Getting an Official Copy of Old Tax Returns
2-1. Ask your federal tax preparer for a copy of your old returns.
Your accountant or tax preparer can give you a photocopy of your old returns, usually at no charge. Some accountants may charge a small processing fee or add the cost of copying old returns into the fee for filing your current return.
2-2. Complete Form 4506 to request a copy from the government.
Access the form here: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506.pdf. You can request official copies of tax returns going back 6 years. The form is 1 page long and requires you to provide basic personal information like your name, date of birth, social security number, and the year or years of the tax returns you need.
You will also need to provide a current mailing address so the old tax returns can be mailed to you.
2-3. Include a check or money order for the $50 USD processing fee.
Make the check or money order payable to “The United States Treasury.”
The IRS charges $50 USD per tax return you request. If you need more than 1 copy of an old tax return or tax returns for different years, you will need to fill out a separate Form 4506 for each 1 and include a $50 USD fee for each 1.
If the IRS cannot find the tax return for the year you requested, they will refund the fee.
2-4. Mail the form and fee to the IRS office in your state or area.
There is a list of addresses on the second page of Form 4506. Find the address for the IRS office for the state or area where you lived when you filed the return. Include the correct postage for the form and the fee so it gets to the IRS safely.
2-5. Receive your old tax returns in the mail.
It can take up to 75 days for the IRS to process your request for an official copy of an old tax return and send you a copy of the return. Make sure you send in your request as soon as possible, especially if you are in a hurry to get a copy of your old tax returns.
Keep in mind that as part the package from the IRS, you will also receive any old W-2s and Form 1099s that apply to the tax year you requested.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Accessing a Transcript of Old Tax Returns\\n1-1. Determine which type of transcript you need.\\nThe IRS offers several different transcript types free of charge. The broadest type is the Tax Return Transcript, which is available for the current year and any returns processed within the past 3 years. It is the best option if you are using the old tax returns to apply for a mortgage or a student loan.\\nAnother option is to request the Tax Account Transcript, which contains information like the return type, marital status, gross income, and payment types in your old returns going back 3 years. It also shows changes you made after you filed your original return.\\n1-2. Register online with the IRS.\\nYou can register with the IRS free of charge here: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript. You will need to provide your Social Security Number, date of birth, filing status (single, married, etc.), phone number, and a mailing address. You will also need to provide your personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit.\\nIf you want to access the transcript online, you will also need to provide your email address.\\nIf you want a transcript mailed to you, you do not need to provide a personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit, or a phone number.\\nHaving an online account with IRS also allows you to check on the status of your taxes and do other tax-related tasks through the online portal.\\n1-3. Request a transcript of your old tax returns online.\\nOnce you register online with the IRS, you can send in a request for the transcript type that suits your needs. The transcripts are free of charge, so you do not need to include a payment with your request.\\n1-4. View the transcript online or receive it by mail.\\nIf you choose to view the transcript online, it will appear within a few minutes so you can access it on your computer. You can then download and print it if you’d prefer a hard copy.\\nIf you choose to receive the transcript by mail, it should arrive within 5-10 days to the mailing address you provided when you set up an account with the IRS.\\n2. Getting an Official Copy of Old Tax Returns\\n2-1. Ask your federal tax preparer for a copy of your old returns.\\nYour accountant or tax preparer can give you a photocopy of your old returns, usually at no charge. Some accountants may charge a small processing fee or add the cost of copying old returns into the fee for filing your current return.\\n2-2. Complete Form 4506 to request a copy from the government.\\nAccess the form here: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506.pdf. You can request official copies of tax returns going back 6 years. The form is 1 page long and requires you to provide basic personal information like your name, date of birth, social security number, and the year or years of the tax returns you need.\\nYou will also need to provide a current mailing address so the old tax returns can be mailed to you.\\n2-3. Include a check or money order for the $50 USD processing fee.\\nMake the check or money order payable to “The United States Treasury.”\\nThe IRS charges $50 USD per tax return you request. If you need more than 1 copy of an old tax return or tax returns for different years, you will need to fill out a separate Form 4506 for each 1 and include a $50 USD fee for each 1.\\nIf the IRS cannot find the tax return for the year you requested, they will refund the fee.\\n2-4. Mail the form and fee to the IRS office in your state or area.\\nThere is a list of addresses on the second page of Form 4506. Find the address for the IRS office for the state or area where you lived when you filed the return. Include the correct postage for the form and the fee so it gets to the IRS safely.\\n2-5. Receive your old tax returns in the mail.\\nIt can take up to 75 days for the IRS to process your request for an official copy of an old tax return and send you a copy of the return. Make sure you send in your request as soon as possible, especially if you are in a hurry to get a copy of your old tax returns.\\nKeep in mind that as part the package from the IRS, you will also receive any old W-2s and Form 1099s that apply to the tax year you requested.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Accessing old tax returns may be necessary if you need to look up specific information about your income or your expenses. You can also use old tax returns as proof of your financial history for a mortgage or loan application. As a taxpayer, you are able to access a transcript or an official copy of old tax returns in just a few easy steps. A transcript is free to access, but each official copy of your old tax returns will cost you $50 USD as of March 2019.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accessing a Transcript of Old Tax Returns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine which type of transcript you need.\", \"描述\": \"The IRS offers several different transcript types free of charge. The broadest type is the Tax Return Transcript, which is available for the current year and any returns processed within the past 3 years. It is the best option if you are using the old tax returns to apply for a mortgage or a student loan.\\nAnother option is to request the Tax Account Transcript, which contains information like the return type, marital status, gross income, and payment types in your old returns going back 3 years. It also shows changes you made after you filed your original return.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Register online with the IRS.\", \"描述\": \"You can register with the IRS free of charge here: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript. You will need to provide your Social Security Number, date of birth, filing status (single, married, etc.), phone number, and a mailing address. You will also need to provide your personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit.\\nIf you want to access the transcript online, you will also need to provide your email address.\\nIf you want a transcript mailed to you, you do not need to provide a personal account number from a credit card, mortgage, home equity loan, or home equity line of credit, or a phone number.\\nHaving an online account with IRS also allows you to check on the status of your taxes and do other tax-related tasks through the online portal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Request a transcript of your old tax returns online.\", \"描述\": \"Once you register online with the IRS, you can send in a request for the transcript type that suits your needs. The transcripts are free of charge, so you do not need to include a payment with your request.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"View the transcript online or receive it by mail.\", \"描述\": \"If you choose to view the transcript online, it will appear within a few minutes so you can access it on your computer. You can then download and print it if you’d prefer a hard copy.\\nIf you choose to receive the transcript by mail, it should arrive within 5-10 days to the mailing address you provided when you set up an account with the IRS.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting an Official Copy of Old Tax Returns\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your federal tax preparer for a copy of your old returns.\", \"描述\": \"Your accountant or tax preparer can give you a photocopy of your old returns, usually at no charge. Some accountants may charge a small processing fee or add the cost of copying old returns into the fee for filing your current return.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Complete Form 4506 to request a copy from the government.\", \"描述\": \"Access the form here: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506.pdf. You can request official copies of tax returns going back 6 years. The form is 1 page long and requires you to provide basic personal information like your name, date of birth, social security number, and the year or years of the tax returns you need.\\nYou will also need to provide a current mailing address so the old tax returns can be mailed to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include a check or money order for the $50 USD processing fee.\", \"描述\": \"Make the check or money order payable to “The United States Treasury.”\\nThe IRS charges $50 USD per tax return you request. If you need more than 1 copy of an old tax return or tax returns for different years, you will need to fill out a separate Form 4506 for each 1 and include a $50 USD fee for each 1.\\nIf the IRS cannot find the tax return for the year you requested, they will refund the fee.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mail the form and fee to the IRS office in your state or area.\", \"描述\": \"There is a list of addresses on the second page of Form 4506. Find the address for the IRS office for the state or area where you lived when you filed the return. Include the correct postage for the form and the fee so it gets to the IRS safely.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Receive your old tax returns in the mail.\", \"描述\": \"It can take up to 75 days for the IRS to process your request for an official copy of an old tax return and send you a copy of the return. Make sure you send in your request as soon as possible, especially if you are in a hurry to get a copy of your old tax returns.\\nKeep in mind that as part the package from the IRS, you will also receive any old W-2s and Form 1099s that apply to the tax year you requested.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
200 | How to Access Other Computers on Mac | 1. Access Other Mac Computers
1-1. Log in to your Mac using the network administrator's username and password.
An administrator's privileges are needed to enable and configure your file-sharing preferences for access to other computers.
1-2. Point to the Apple menu and select "System Preferences."
1-3. Point to the View menu and select "Sharing."
1-4. Select the files that you want to access from your Mac computer.
To find the files or folders you want to access, you must click on the "plus" symbol below the "Shared Folders" column and select the folders or files you want to access.
You can also select the files you want to access using Finder. From the desktop, click on the Finder icon that resembles a smiley face, then locate the file or folder you want access to. Point to File, select "Get Info," and place a check mark next to "Shared Folder."
1-5. Select your Mac user name from the User list.
This will allow you to have access to the folders you specified.
To locate your user name, click on the "plus" sign below the "Users" column and scroll through the list until you find your Mac user name.
1-6. Modify your editing privileges.
By default, each user will have "Read Only" privileges unless you modify their profile.
Locate the privilege status to the right of your user name and click on the arrows next to "Read Only" to change your status, if desired.
You can also use the Finder menu to give yourself access to files. Open Finder from your desktop and select the folder you want access to. Point to File, choose "Get Info," then click on "Sharing and Permissions" to add your user name and edit your privileges.
1-7. Enable the Apple Filing Protocol (AFP).
This network protocol will allow your personal Mac to access the files you just designated from the administrator's computer.
Click on the "Options" button in the bottom right of the Sharing Preferences window.
Select "Share files and folders using AFP."
1-8. Click on the "Done" button to complete the process.
This will allow you to return to your personal Mac and access the files and folders you gave yourself privileges for.
2. Access Other Windows Computers
2-1. Open "System Preferences" from the Apple menu in the upper-left of your desktop.
2-2. Select "Network Preferences."
This menu will allow you to set up and configure your access to Windows computers.
2-3. Verify that the padlock icon in the lower-left section of the window is shown as "unlocked."
If the padlock is shown as "locked," click on the padlock and enter the username and password for the Windows network administrator.
2-4. Enter "Workgroup" into the search field within the System Preferences window.
2-5. Type a unique name for your Mac computer next to the field for "NetBIOS Name."
2-6. Select the name of the Windows workgroup you want to access using the drop-down menu next to "Workgroup."
If your Mac is located in an office environment with multiple servers, you may need to enter specific IP addresses into the "WINS Servers" field. If this is the case, you will need to obtain the IP addresses from the Windows network administrator.
2-7. Click on the "OK" button, then select "Apply."
2-8. Wait for the Windows workgroup to appear on your Mac.
The network may take a few minutes to link your Mac to the Windows workgroup folder, which will display in your Mac's Finder sidebar below the "Shared" section.
After the Windows workgroup folder is displayed, you can access all the files in that folder from your Mac.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:42:35",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Access Other Mac Computers\\n1-1. Log in to your Mac using the network administrator's username and password.\\nAn administrator's privileges are needed to enable and configure your file-sharing preferences for access to other computers.\\n1-2. Point to the Apple menu and select \\\"System Preferences.\\\"\\n\\n1-3. Point to the View menu and select \\\"Sharing.\\\"\\n\\n1-4. Select the files that you want to access from your Mac computer.\\nTo find the files or folders you want to access, you must click on the \\\"plus\\\" symbol below the \\\"Shared Folders\\\" column and select the folders or files you want to access.\\nYou can also select the files you want to access using Finder. From the desktop, click on the Finder icon that resembles a smiley face, then locate the file or folder you want access to. Point to File, select \\\"Get Info,\\\" and place a check mark next to \\\"Shared Folder.\\\"\\n1-5. Select your Mac user name from the User list.\\nThis will allow you to have access to the folders you specified.\\nTo locate your user name, click on the \\\"plus\\\" sign below the \\\"Users\\\" column and scroll through the list until you find your Mac user name.\\n1-6. Modify your editing privileges.\\nBy default, each user will have \\\"Read Only\\\" privileges unless you modify their profile.\\nLocate the privilege status to the right of your user name and click on the arrows next to \\\"Read Only\\\" to change your status, if desired.\\nYou can also use the Finder menu to give yourself access to files. Open Finder from your desktop and select the folder you want access to. Point to File, choose \\\"Get Info,\\\" then click on \\\"Sharing and Permissions\\\" to add your user name and edit your privileges.\\n1-7. Enable the Apple Filing Protocol (AFP).\\nThis network protocol will allow your personal Mac to access the files you just designated from the administrator's computer.\\nClick on the \\\"Options\\\" button in the bottom right of the Sharing Preferences window.\\nSelect \\\"Share files and folders using AFP.\\\"\\n1-8. Click on the \\\"Done\\\" button to complete the process.\\nThis will allow you to return to your personal Mac and access the files and folders you gave yourself privileges for.\\n2. Access Other Windows Computers\\n2-1. Open \\\"System Preferences\\\" from the Apple menu in the upper-left of your desktop.\\n\\n2-2. Select \\\"Network Preferences.\\\"\\nThis menu will allow you to set up and configure your access to Windows computers.\\n2-3. Verify that the padlock icon in the lower-left section of the window is shown as \\\"unlocked.\\\"\\nIf the padlock is shown as \\\"locked,\\\" click on the padlock and enter the username and password for the Windows network administrator.\\n2-4. Enter \\\"Workgroup\\\" into the search field within the System Preferences window.\\n\\n2-5. Type a unique name for your Mac computer next to the field for \\\"NetBIOS Name.\\\"\\n\\n2-6. Select the name of the Windows workgroup you want to access using the drop-down menu next to \\\"Workgroup.\\\"\\nIf your Mac is located in an office environment with multiple servers, you may need to enter specific IP addresses into the \\\"WINS Servers\\\" field. If this is the case, you will need to obtain the IP addresses from the Windows network administrator.\\n2-7. Click on the \\\"OK\\\" button, then select \\\"Apply.\\\"\\n\\n2-8. Wait for the Windows workgroup to appear on your Mac.\\nThe network may take a few minutes to link your Mac to the Windows workgroup folder, which will display in your Mac's Finder sidebar below the \\\"Shared\\\" section.\\nAfter the Windows workgroup folder is displayed, you can access all the files in that folder from your Mac.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Your Macintosh (Mac) computer has the ability to access other computers, regardless if the other computers are Macs or have Windows operating systems. To access other Macs, you must edit your user privileges on the network using the profile, username, and password of your network administrator. If you want to access Windows computers, you must also know your Windows administrator's profile information, in addition to the name of the Windows workgroup that contains the files you want to access.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Access Other Mac Computers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Log in to your Mac using the network administrator's username and password.\", \"描述\": \"An administrator's privileges are needed to enable and configure your file-sharing preferences for access to other computers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Point to the Apple menu and select \\\"System Preferences.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Point to the View menu and select \\\"Sharing.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select the files that you want to access from your Mac computer.\", \"描述\": \"To find the files or folders you want to access, you must click on the \\\"plus\\\" symbol below the \\\"Shared Folders\\\" column and select the folders or files you want to access.\\nYou can also select the files you want to access using Finder. From the desktop, click on the Finder icon that resembles a smiley face, then locate the file or folder you want access to. Point to File, select \\\"Get Info,\\\" and place a check mark next to \\\"Shared Folder.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select your Mac user name from the User list.\", \"描述\": \"This will allow you to have access to the folders you specified.\\nTo locate your user name, click on the \\\"plus\\\" sign below the \\\"Users\\\" column and scroll through the list until you find your Mac user name.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Modify your editing privileges.\", \"描述\": \"By default, each user will have \\\"Read Only\\\" privileges unless you modify their profile.\\nLocate the privilege status to the right of your user name and click on the arrows next to \\\"Read Only\\\" to change your status, if desired.\\nYou can also use the Finder menu to give yourself access to files. Open Finder from your desktop and select the folder you want access to. Point to File, choose \\\"Get Info,\\\" then click on \\\"Sharing and Permissions\\\" to add your user name and edit your privileges.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Enable the Apple Filing Protocol (AFP).\", \"描述\": \"This network protocol will allow your personal Mac to access the files you just designated from the administrator's computer.\\nClick on the \\\"Options\\\" button in the bottom right of the Sharing Preferences window.\\nSelect \\\"Share files and folders using AFP.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Click on the \\\"Done\\\" button to complete the process.\", \"描述\": \"This will allow you to return to your personal Mac and access the files and folders you gave yourself privileges for.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Access Other Windows Computers\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open \\\"System Preferences\\\" from the Apple menu in the upper-left of your desktop.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Select \\\"Network Preferences.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"This menu will allow you to set up and configure your access to Windows computers.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Verify that the padlock icon in the lower-left section of the window is shown as \\\"unlocked.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If the padlock is shown as \\\"locked,\\\" click on the padlock and enter the username and password for the Windows network administrator.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enter \\\"Workgroup\\\" into the search field within the System Preferences window.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Type a unique name for your Mac computer next to the field for \\\"NetBIOS Name.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Select the name of the Windows workgroup you want to access using the drop-down menu next to \\\"Workgroup.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If your Mac is located in an office environment with multiple servers, you may need to enter specific IP addresses into the \\\"WINS Servers\\\" field. If this is the case, you will need to obtain the IP addresses from the Windows network administrator.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Click on the \\\"OK\\\" button, then select \\\"Apply.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Wait for the Windows workgroup to appear on your Mac.\", \"描述\": \"The network may take a few minutes to link your Mac to the Windows workgroup folder, which will display in your Mac's Finder sidebar below the \\\"Shared\\\" section.\\nAfter the Windows workgroup folder is displayed, you can access all the files in that folder from your Mac.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |