Title
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values | Setting
stringlengths 5
381
⌀ | Dialogue
stringlengths 1
1.92k
| Speaking Character
stringlengths 1
3.78k
| Addressed Character
stringlengths 1
68
⌀ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Great! | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Great? Where do you get "great"? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | It's great to... talk about... other people... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | ...Guys. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Yeah. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Uh-huh... Yeah... So, anybody specific? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No. A general guy. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Oh *really*... Elaine Marie Benes... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | What? No, it's not a big deal. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, that's great! That's terrific! | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | No, we just met... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Doesn't matter. What's the young man's name? I would like to | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | meet him. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I don't think so... | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Well, what does he do? Is he an artisan, a craftsman, a labourer | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | of some sort? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Wall street. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Ahh, high finance: bulls... bears... people from Conneticut. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | And he happens to be pretty good lookin' | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | (pause) Alright, sir. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | And... he's *hilarious*. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Now that's not fair! So where did you meet this guy? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | I "staked" out his health club. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | When you're on a stakeout, do you find it's better to stand up | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | against the wall, or kinda crouch down behind a big plant?... | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someone, | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | or let's say, *especially* if you've had a relationship with someone | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | and you try to become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | Isn't this? It's hard. Because, you know each other so well, you | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | know all of each others tricks. It's like two magicians, trying to entertain each other. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | The one goes, "Look, a rabbit." | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | The other goes, "So? ... I believe this is your card." | Jerry | Elaine |
THE STAKEOUT | (End stand-up) | "Look, why don't we just saw each other in half and call it a night? Okay?" | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | So I move into the centre lane, now I get ahead of this | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | women, who felt for some reason I guess, that she thought that | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | I cut her off. So, she pulls up along side of me, gives me... | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | the finger. It seems like such an... arbitrary, ridiculous | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | thing to just pick a finger and you show it to the person. | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (shows several fingers to the audience) It's a finger, what | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | does it mean? Someone shows me one of their fingers and I'm | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | supposed to feel bad. Is that the way it's supposed to work? | Jerry | null |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | mean, you could just give someone the toe, really, couldn't | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | you? I would feel worse if I got the toe, than if I got the | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | finger. 'Cause it's not easy to give someone the toe, you've | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | gotta get the shoe off, the sock of and drive, get it up and | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | uh (pretends to drive with one foot in the air and speaks to | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | person driving next to him) look at that toe, buddy. (puts his | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | foot down) I mean, that's really insulting to get the toe, | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | isn't it ? | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is packing. Elaine is sitting | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | at the table watching Jerry) | I | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Is that it? Got the cue tips, got the mini-umbrella, | Jerry | I |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | something boring to read on the plane. (zips his bag with | Jerry | I |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | exaggerated motions) That's it. Done! | Jerry | I |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (claps her hands) That is the single greatest packing | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | performance I have ever seen. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (proudly) I am...the master packer. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (laughs) Yeah, right, you're the master packer. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | What you must understand, Elaine, (picks up the | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | umbrella) packing is no different than leading men into | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | you've gotta know the strengths and weaknesses (hits | Battle | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | his bag rhythmically with his umbrella) of every soldier in | Battle | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | that platoon. From a collapsible toothbrush to a pair of | Battle | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | ordinary black socks. | Battle | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | 'Scuse me...master packer! | Elaine | Battle |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | ...Yes. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Just gimme your keys. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Alright, sir. (tosses Elaine his keys; apartment buzzer | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | goes of, Jerry speaks over the intercom) George? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (outside over the intercom) Yeah | George | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (Jerry opens the door) OK, so, now, is there anything | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | else I need to know 'bout this place? | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | uh, yeah, the uuhh, hot water takes a little while to | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | come on. So, the best thing to do is to turn it on, do all | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | your shopping, you...come back and take a shower. | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | OK, this is quite a place. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | There's more, the refrigerator. (Opens it) Deduct a | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | minimum of two days of all expiration dates. (uses the | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | umbrella to point to certain compartments in the refrigerator) | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | No meat, no leftovers, no butter. (closes the refrigerator) | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | that clear? | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | I'll eat out. | Elaine | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | One more thing, Benes, regarding sexual activity: | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | strictly prohibited, but if you absolutely must, do us all a | Jerry | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | do it in the tub. | Big Favour | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (walks in) Ready? | George | Big Favour |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Yeah, one sec. | Jerry | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | (closes the door) Hey, Elaine | George | Jerry |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Hi. | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Coming to the airport with us? | George | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | No, I'm staying here for the weekend. I'm getting a | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | break from my roommate. | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | Oh, the actress-waitress. | George | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | No, the waitress-actress. She just got some part in | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | some dinner-theater production of a Chorus Line. So, now all day | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | "God, I hope I get it, I hope I get it". She's gonna get it | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | right in her... | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | You just kick her out. | George | Elaine |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | She's on the lease!...George you have got to find an | Elaine | George |
THE ROBBERY | (Comedy club) | other place for me. | Elaine | George |