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danthareja

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cognitive-distortion

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Although im sure I know the answer to this, I need to get it out..I am 44, she is 43..After 3 years of dating my girlfriend ,she tells me she has herpes only because she had a breakout…she has told me the following over the years..that she was raped in college ( the story sounds ridiculous), in her early 20’s apparently ate a bunch of pills and claims the people at the psych ward tried to trick her into signing commitment papers, ended up in Florida in a BDSM relationship…came back to NY where she held 2 or 3 jobs, sleeping with someone from the office…married then divorced ( she claims her ex husband stole all of her money)…was dating another guy who apparently beat her…..at her current job, she slept wih a guy 14 years younger than her, got pregnant and the “donor’ went back to his country, not supporting the child etc….I met her at her current job and have been on and off with her for the past 3 years ( I know im an idiot)…..since she told me about her having herpes, I have been to the doc 2 times, 2 blood tests…im negative….but now all of a sudden she claims I am abusive and threatening her, I was mad as hell, and if she were a man I probably would have knocked her on her ass,but never a threat…..im sure she has a disorder of some sort….she lies constantly, tells the same story 3 times during a week, but its always changing….I am now afraid of this woman because last week, while trying to calm her, I took the blame for everything…admitted I was wrong etc, and have cut her off…..im sure she has another man in the picture, coaching her along on how to set me up( I hope so, let him deal with her)….She may be lying about the Herpes, cause she doesnt know much about it when I ask her…it turns out her brother is a doctor in Baltimore and I get hte feeling he ‘monitors her’,her mom lives in the same building a few floors up from her. when out locally, she is always looking around, like she is afraid someone may recognise her..very bizarre….she seems to me to be a professional victim…1 night in bed, we were staring into each others eyes, and I swear they CHANGED into pure evil for a second, then she smacked me……..nothing is her fault, things get twisted to the extent im apoligising to HER about her exposing me to herpes……I am trying to protect myself because I am afraid of her setting me up…How can I deal with a person like this…I have cut off all contact as of a few days ago, and she knows about my herpes test today.

im sure she has a disorder of some sort….she lies constantly, tells the same story 3 times during a week, but its always changing….I am now afraid of this woman because last week, while trying to calm her, I took the blame for everything…admitted I was wrong etc, and have cut her off…..im sure she has another man in the picture, coaching her along on how to set me up

10Labeling

From a 16 year old girl in the U.S.: I have been struggling to control my emotional responses, usually crying, since as long as I can remember. I’m not sure what triggers it, but I am certain it only happens with any adults, including my parents. Whenever the conversation turns to anything but small talk, there is a chance that I could become tearful. I’ve seen it also occur when a teacher jokingly makes fun of me or even another student; even though I am aware of their lightheartedness and even may find the joke funny, I still get teary.

Whenever the conversation turns to anything but small talk, there is a chance that I could become tearful.

3Magnification

My boyfriend’s mother seemed to like me at first but since he and I have moved in together she has been my worst enemy. I recently lost my job and she constantly is calling my boyfriend and asking if I have found a job and then proceeds to make comments like “I bet she cant wait until you get paid, her hand will be out waiting for your money.”

My boyfriend’s mother seemed to like me at first but since he and I have moved in together she has been my worst enemy.

0All-or-nothing thinking

Hello there, I am Kate and I’m 14. I’ve felt a strange feeling of lack of emotion for a long time. I feel like I’m constantly on autopilot and, like a robot, apply certain emotions to situations where they deem appropriate. I don’t genuinely feel sadness, or anger, or happiness but I act like it. I know that I don’t feel anything, nor does anything leave any kind of impact on me. I’ve had a lot of important things happen to me recently but I cannot feel any sort of impression or even memory. My memories are nonexistent or blurry, like I’m living in a dream (as in, everything is so blurry and fast) I don’t feel connected to myself. I just have a body. I make lots of unconscious decisions. Just completely autopilot. Whatever feels necessary. Whatever is socially acceptable. I have friends who emotionally depend on me but I can’t, I simply cannot, feel sympathy or empathy. I cannot commit to anything, I’m not passionate about anything except painting, but it doesn’t feel like passion. It’s just something that I do. I just do it, because I like it. I plan on making a career out of it, and I know after years of doing it that it’s the only thing I’ve ever committed to (or the longest thing I’ve committed to). I like acting and drama, because its easy. Because acting is what I do all the time; I display emotions in ways that are believable. That’s why I’m good at it, too.

I have friends who emotionally depend on me but I can’t, I simply cannot, feel sympathy or empathy. I cannot commit to anything, I’m not passionate about anything except painting, but it doesn’t feel like passion.

7Overgeneralization

Yesterday my mother was admitted into the hospital for what is apparently a severe case of depression. My mother is 49 years old and she had a minor heart attack about 4 months ago. About two weeks after that she had to have a hysterecomy. She was fine after that. All of a sudden for the past few days she’s been doing things that aren’t her. She’s been hiding my step father’s clothing under the bed and following him everywhere he goes whether it’s to the bathroom, to the kitchen, etc.. She calls my sister and tells her that there are weird things going on in the house. She says that my step father stole her car, when he’s been driving her car for the past year and she’s been driving the new car. She says he’s trying to erase her family’s numbers from her cell phone. My sister took her to the hospital where she was admitted. She has since deteriorated in her condition. She doesn’t recognize her own mother any more, when I call her she talks to me as if I’m a stranger. When my 1 year old neice who my mother is crazy about went to the hospital to visit her, mother just kept pushing her away. She kept asking what the plastic bag(that the hospital gives you to put your clothing in) in her room was for. She then thought that the same plastic bag was a gift for her. We just found out that she quit her job of 6 years last Thursday without letting anyone know. She won’t sleep, eat, or take the meds that the hospital is giving her so they are now going to transfer her to a mental facility. Please help my understand what is happening. This is not my mother and I am so confused. Is my mother going to stay this way? Please respond.

2No Distortion

Since I was about 8 years old I have experienced the feeling that people in photographs can see and hear me. At first, this feeling was enjoyable and entertaining; I loved the thought that my favourite celebrities were watching my every move and adoring me. But as I got older, this feeling became less enjoyable, and much more distressing. I removed all posters, covered up DVD cases, drew over the eyes on books. I am now 27 and still feel as though people in photos are watching me. It is only certain celebrities, never people I know personally. I was diagnosed with social anxiety in my late teens. I have never spoken about this and I feel very ashamed. I know that, logically, this has no basis in reality. Is this a fairly common symptom of social anxiety? Or perhaps indicative of another issue?

But as I got older, this feeling became less enjoyable, and much more distressing. I removed all posters, covered up DVD cases, drew over the eyes on books.

3Magnification

My husband and I have been married 30 years. Four years ago we received custody of five grandchildren. The parent have done nothing to comply with Court requirements to get the children returned to them. There are no other family members in a position to care for the children and we have tried but it fails to work out.  Last year I had a major health scare but have since recovered. Now ,my husband has basically told me the kids go or he goes. He has completely disengaged from us and is sullen , critical and grudgingly helpful to a small extent. The bulk of the care and household falls on me. I feel it is unfair to put me or the kids in this position and have told him to go . He is very unpleasant and is narcissistic . I guess I’m seeking guidance and validation in my choice to keep the kids. The only option is foster care and I refuse . They have been with us and are settled in and would be crushed . I realize he may be tired of it , I get tired too but it feels like emotional blackmail to me. (age 56, from US)

2No Distortion

I am a 36 year old married mother of two: I’m not sure what to say or how to begin this. I have periods of rage and depression where I can tell from the moment I wake up that it is going to be a “bad” day. I get overly angry at little things, and pick fights w/my spouse. I have suicidal thoughts (several times a month) but will not act one them because of my children – although I do not think I am a great mother my son adores me (and I love him as much) and I cannot imagine what it would do to him if I was gone. My husband is wonderful and very patient and we’ve worked through a lot of things over the years but lately I just get so tired, and frustrated, and I act out and just generally become disagreeable, angry and violent. I push and push and push until he reacts – the weird thing is once he is angry I feel very calm and together – and my own “anger” dissipates – but until he reacts I just get more and more agitated.

I have periods of rage and depression where I can tell from the moment I wake up that it is going to be a “bad” day. I get overly angry at little things, and pick fights w/my spouse.

3Magnification

From an 18 year old woman in India: From childhood, I’ve always been the kid nobody likes. In kindergarten, kids always formed groups to play without joining me. In primary school, my classmates called me by name which I didn’t understand. They were always rude to me without any reason. I hardly had one or two friends. Even they never invited me into their groups.

From childhood, I’ve always been the kid nobody likes.

7Overgeneralization

In the last three years I’ve been in therapy with two different psychologists for social anxiety. The fact is, I’ve noticed something’s wrong with me. I believe I may have BPD, because I’ve always had many problems with abandonment, instability of relationships and mood swings, and I also meet all the symptoms of the disorder(even substance abuse and self harm).I’ve always had a confuse sense of identity,I’ve never really known who I was, and experienced dissociation and depersonalisation since the age of 11. I identify as nonbinary even though I was born female, but I know this could be a consequence of BPD.My therapist doesn’t know about my condition because she just keeps asking me only about my anxiety and everytime I try to tell her something of the above she seems to not be even listening to me. I’m writing this because recently something changed.I’ve always had very different personalities depending from who I was with, but it’s been a while since I started losing connection with reality and I can’t tell what’s real anymore.I have nightmares and most of the days I don’t know if what I experience is real or not.I see the younger me as a weak, pathetic girl who knew nothing about anything but I don’t even remember how she was or what she liked. There’s this other part of me, though, called Chrissie. She’s a childish girl who is always cheerful and behave like a psycho,I can sense her voice in my head(not like an hallucynation, just an inner voice different from mine – sometimes we have conversations)that always suggests me to do impulsive things like beating the ones who treat me badly or saying mean things.There are days when something happens and I start to feel anxious, so she takes control and I start to act so differently that the people around me ask me if I’m high or something. Since Chrissie appeared I made some researches and learnt about DID. I’m very unsure about the amnesia that should incurr though, because I happen to be co-present when she takes control, but she does what she wants and I later feel like someone else has controlled my body even though I know what happened.When I dissociate while I’m writing something I can’t remember later what I was writing before, and I noticed I have very few memories of my life before my 14th birthday, but nothing more than this.

My therapist doesn’t know about my condition because she just keeps asking me only about my anxiety and everytime I try to tell her something of the above she seems to not be even listening to me.

8Mind Reading

I am located in India. I am seeking advise to solve problem between me and wife. My relationship has always been in trouble because of my wife’s suspicious nature. She never trusts me on any thing and The problem is of so high magnitude that I am suffocated and very much frustrated all the time. In spite of all this I love my wife very much and would never exit this relation. But I have to solve this problem to lead a happy life.

My relationship has always been in trouble because of my wife’s suspicious nature. She never trusts me on any thing and The problem is of so high magnitude that I am suffocated and very much frustrated all the time.

3Magnification

Hi there! I am a cutter. I think I like it too much. What I like about it, is every time I cut and the blood rushes from my arms or legs, I start feeling light headed and cold. That drowsy feeling is what I yearn for. The warm blood running down my cold body(stress running out of me).That is what is feels like. After that you realize I are still breathing and I focus on that and then get this rush of energy. I don’t know if it is adrenaline or what, but it feels really good.

I think I like it too much.

6Should statements

Is this normal behavior for a parent to neglect spending time with their kid(s)? Before I turned 10, my childhood was good and I have fond memories of my family hanging out / doing activities together. However, after reaching the age of 10, my father just stopped bothering to spend time with his children. Over the years he acts like he wants to hang out but when time rolls around for the activity to take place, always comes up with excuse to not hang out (be it family activities or spending time with individual family members). This obviously hurt my feelings as a child (mainly because I would try to follow things up) and he would always get angry at me. I’m now a 29 year old adult, and he still claims to want to hang out from time to time. However I really don’t believe him and get annoyed with this behavior because I know he won’t follow through. Problem I have, is not that he won’t hang out. If he doesn’t value his family enough to spend time with them, that’s fine. But he acts like everyone else is to blame for this (even though he suggests hanging out, and other people have to follow up to see if event is really taking place).

2No Distortion

Recently, i feel like i’m going mental. Guilt, depression, and all other negative emotions are what i’m feeling ! I keep doubting everyone around me, including myself, i feel like i might lose control. Sometimes i get awful thoughts that makes me feel guilty. sometimes i dont think my thoughts are mine at all. i even started wondering if this was reality, maybe the world doesn’t exist and that im dreaming. im paranoid about everything; people are staring, they’re talking behind my back, i cant trust anyone- my mood keeps changing, one times im cheerful and happy and the next im angry and depressed, the next im hateful and dislike everyone. then i began thinking that pain is nice and that it eases my guilt. i feel guilty a lot. i also think that someone is living inside my brain, watching me and judging me and it scares me a lot because i cant behave normally since i feel like the person inside my mind is laughing at me. im so so so so exhausted and all i want is rest but i cant seem to rest i love my family a lot, a lot, but because of my current mood swings and mental state ive been mean to them. it makes me guilty to the point i feel suicidal i dont know what i should do to cure myself.

Sometimes i get awful thoughts that makes me feel guilty. im paranoid about everything; people are staring, they’re talking behind my back, i cant trust anyone- my mood keeps changing, one times im cheerful and happy and the next im angry and depressed, the next im hateful and dislike everyone. it makes me guilty to the point i feel suicidal i dont know what i should do to cure myself.

5Personalization

From a teen in the U.S.: I’m 17 years old, when i was 15 my older brother passed away due to long term heroin addiction. he was my very best friend and i watched him die. being that i am in high school, the easiest way for me to shut the pain out was by partying. eventually that came around to slap me in the face and i had to deal with the pain that i had pushed away for so long all at once.

being that i am in high school, the easiest way for me to shut the pain out was by partying. eventually that came around to slap me in the face and i had to deal with the pain that i had pushed away for so long all at once

5Personalization

From a teen in Indonesia: I have running thoughts that I cannot control. It’s been on and off for a year perhaps. And I start get this weird feeling like what’s happening to me is not real, like I’m detaching from reality. I even have bizarre dream where I was being chased by zombies and being locked up and couldn’t get away from a situation. I’ve been lacking concentration, forgetting things, and being overly sensitive. I have this weird feeling almost everyday now and it starts to interfere with my daily life: I start to see things weirdly, being overly paranoid about things. Especially after I’m waking up, the feeling is totally intense it totally scares me badly.

I have this weird feeling almost everyday now and it starts to interfere with my daily life: I start to see things weirdly, being overly paranoid about things. Especially after I’m waking up, the feeling is totally intense it totally scares me badly.

3Magnification

From the U.S.: I recently got a job at a local hospital, which is a field far beyond what I have ever done, and it made me realize that I long for someone to just be there for me and take care of me. It goes beyond being pampered or not wanting to do anything. It’s an intense need to know that someone can take care of me.

2No Distortion

I haven’t gone to any psychiatrists or mental check-ups my entire life. Maybe I’m just imagining that I have a problem with my mental condition but to be sure, I want to check online if I do have one, before going to a psychiatrist to have an official check-up. I haven’t told my parents about this because I don’t think that they would appreciate having a child who has mental issues and I don’t want to deal with the drama that will undoubtedly ensue.

I haven’t told my parents about this because I don’t think that they would appreciate having a child who has mental issues and I don’t want to deal with the drama that will undoubtedly ensue.

8Mind Reading

My sister, whom is four years older than me, was once the most important person in my life. She was the one I would go to for advice, someone to vent to, and just someone to not make me feel so helpless. She was in a very serious relationship, until she found out some unpleasant things about him. They broke up. She became cold and distant. We stopped going out and no longer had that close relationship.  I no longer went to her with any of my internal struggles because I felt like she was not in the right mindset to help me. She even seemed lost. She was my everything.  After losing her, I feel like I have nobody. I always struggled with letting people in. She was the one person who I always knew I could open up to. They broke up almost a year ago, and things have not changed. I am afraid I have lost her forever. I have great friends, but I also have a phobia of getting close to people and letting them in(except my sister). My family is wonderful, but I cannot talk to them about this. I have brought it up to my mother on several occasions, and she believes that she needs time. It’s almost been a year. A few months ago, I had a breakdown and told her everything that was bothering me, including how distant she has been. She acknowledged her mistakes, apologized, and said she’ll be better. She didn’t change a bit. I feel as though I will never get my sister back. I have no one to talk to about my problems. I keep it all bottled up inside until I have a breakdown, alone. I am a a crossroads and am feeling really lost. The person who I once thought would help me with everything, is no longer there for me. What do I do? (From the US)

She was my everything. After losing her, I feel like I have nobody.

3Magnification

Hello…I planned to do technique called (Image Streaming) to increase my IQ and this technique will increase the intensity of inner voice of me and I am afraid if this technique would cause psychosis or schizophrenia or any mental disorder to me So,is it possible?

Hello…I planned to do technique called (Image Streaming) to increase my IQ and this technique will increase the intensity of inner voice of me and I am afraid if this technique would cause psychosis or schizophrenia or any mental disorder to me So,is it possible?

4Fortune-telling

From a teen in the U.S.: Incase it effects answers at all, I’ve been officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADD and Type one diabetes. The problem is that almost every second of everyday, I feel like if I tell the entire truth in any kind of situation something bad will happen, or I will be in trouble. I’ve never had any betrayals in my past that would leave an imprint on who I am, or ever felt unsafe telling the truth at home or at school. I’;m too ashamed to share this in the real world so I work very hard to keep track of my lies and keep them going so I’m never caught. It’s usually very small things, like in a story – time of day, exact setting, or who was there. I dont ever consciously do it with a goal in mind, and it doesn’t often change how someone would view or think of me. Rarely do they make my life easier, more often than not harder. I’m scared I’m going to ruin my life or relationships, and wanted any possible suggestions at improving myself or finding the root of this problem?

The problem is that almost every second of everyday, I feel like if I tell the entire truth in any kind of situation something bad will happen, or I will be in trouble.

1Emotional Reasoning

Really bad temper. Gets angry easily. Enjoys the thought of beating the crap out of the people I hate (which is a lot, most for unreasonable things), have had dreams of doing this, have fantasized about beating them with hard, blunt objects, or slicing them with knives,sometimes harming them with fire. But mostly I imagine doing it with my bare hands. I get all excited and pumped and get hot flashes and my heart rate goes up. It sounds sexual but I don’t get “turned on” by it. It’s more of an adrenaline rush I guess. Have not harmed anyone yet, I have always had a huge sense of self control, but this is stressful and probably NOT good for my health. Sometimes can’t sleep because too restless about it. Parents had me tested at young age for ADHD, didn’t have it. I have a close relationship with both of my siblings, but I remember one night a while back I was sharing a bed with my little brother and I had the really strong urge to choke him for no reason. Had to turn away from him and just about scared myself shitless. Have had a few issues with depression, though nothing major. Nothing I can’t deal with. I’m also fiercely independent, and have a very hard time admitting to weakness. Dont know if this helps, but past drug and alcohol addiction runs in the family on both sides, mostly dad’s, though none of them are or ever have been addicts of any kind. I also know history of mental illness does too, on my mom’s, and dads, no sure what, but probably along the lines of depression. My Cousin on my mom’s side has bipolar disorder if that has anything to do with it. Would just like to get an idea of what might be going on with me, and maybe some suggestions. Thanks.

2No Distortion

My son is 14. He is a great kid and is an A-student in school, but has for a long while shown signs of Asperger. Should I try to have him diagnosed to find out. His symptoms are above all a need to “run” (it is a kind of fast pacing that he does in his room or outside) and a very large need to be a alone a lot and not socialize. Also he finds all criticism and people disagreeing very difficult and has always been very sensitive about how clothes feel. He hardly ever brings friends home, but functions well with friends at school. What I am worried about is his social life as he gets older. His ability to function with a girlfriend or boyfriend and at work. And his “running” sometimes makes things difficult for him. He almost never wants to talk about how things are or how he feels. It is always only facts. He takes after his dad on a lot of things and I am wondering if a diagnosis would help prepare him for life, or make it more difficult. Would it be good to have a word for his differentness, or better just to let it be? Best Regards / teenage mother.

2No Distortion

I have absolutely nothing to live for. I have been suffering from major depression and have been attempting suicide since I was very young (only went to the hospital once for injecting bleach). As advised I have sought professional help and tried to do what makes me happy and want to live. It turns out nothing worked. Professionals can’t help me since medication has little to no effect on me, and the things I thought I was passionate about (making manga, YouTube videos) don’t make me happy at all, they feel like such a chore and I get no thrill from it. I have no interest in friends and I never had a lover. I am crippled by loneliness. Mainly because my behaviors are antisocial and disgusting.Throughout my daily life I rarely demonstrate emotions, and the emotions I demonstrate are either sadness and self-pity, or uncontrollable wrath.

I am crippled by loneliness. Mainly because my behaviors are antisocial and disgusting.

5Personalization

From a teen in Belgium: So I don’t think my parents like me anymore. I’ve got a sister who has very good grades and is participating on a lot of swimming competitions, she wins always… They only have attention for her and I feel forgotten, my parents talk about her all the time. My whole life depends on when she has competitions or when she has to practice.

They only have attention for her and I feel forgotten, my parents talk about her all the time. My whole life depends on when she has competitions or when she has to practice.

7Overgeneralization

When I was in the seventh grade I always joked about depression. I never knew how serious it could be. My mother abandoned our family when I was little and got into drugs. My dad has been a single parent almost all his life. In 8th grade I started to realize that it was not a joke, because I had it. I stayed in my room, I drew away from my family and sports, and then one day I cut myself. It was the only feeling I had experienced in quite a while. And then when that became a habit, I stopped eating. I know this is serious and it should stop but I have no idea of how I should tell my mom, who has come back and I thought she deserved another chance. I just recently moved in with her about 4 months and all it’s done is made everything so much worse. I want to go to the doctor and let him help me. (age 15, from US)

2No Distortion

It all started with me intaking a syrop that contained THC, I was told that I would not experience any feelings of being high but it would help with my pain. ( I have pelvic floor dysfunction). As I took it, about two hours later I started to get a Panic attack , my heart would beat really fast and I thought I was going insane and dizzy. After that I had a feeling of derealization, not depersonalization that I did not feel like in my body, but that everything seemed weird strange, and in a fog almost dream like. I thought that this is what THC caused me to feel like (Never did it before). Next day I was fine but I found out my co-worker has passed away due to heroin overdose. Since then I had no symptomps of anything. Two months later, I started to get panic attacks and anxiety after my boyfriend’s fathers death. I had heart palapation, dizziness and lightheadeness. Once I found out that it was anxiety I learned to deal with it. However the derealization happened again once and made me feel like in a constant fog. Soon this went away as well but these intrusive thoughts won’t go away. Especially at night time where I think what if I am not really here, everything seems strange and weird around me. Not as much as that night that I took the syroup but sort of. IT’s just these thoughts are scaring me and make me think that I might be getting schizophrenia , or the onset of it…This is all I can think about, I try to go out and there are days where I have better days and seem happy and normal but then the worse days come too. I also thought I have schizophrenia because as I was falling asleep I would have a lot of chaotic thoughts in my head, not voices but random song lyrics popping up , scaring me to think I’m going crazy. Please I need some advice.

Especially at night time where I think what if I am not really here, everything seems strange and weird around me. Not as much as that night that I took the syroup but sort of. IT’s just these thoughts are scaring me and make me think that I might be getting schizophrenia , or the onset of it…

7Overgeneralization

I was disabled as a child. When I was a child wearing cloth diapers became a comfort for me. Now as an adult I still like the soft, warm, comfort, and pleasure, I get from wearing a double cloth diaper and plastic pants at night or when I have the house alone. I have a problem now because, I don’t know what to say to those closest to me if, my secret came out. I have been asked questions such as why does your room sometimes smell like baby powder. I am going to be honest next time but don’t know what to say? I also have a problem with washing diapers because my secret is not out. I feel like I am lying and hiding. This makes me feel fantastic and I do not know what to do?

I feel like I am lying and hiding.

5Personalization

Hello, my husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. We just welcomed a baby in March. Things were always so great – with the minor ups and downs of every relationship, but nothing serious. After the baby I had a little PPD. I was dealing with it on my own and working through it and was feeling better and confident as a mom by 2 months. Things were good. I didn’t want to go back to work, my husband and both wanted me to find another job as I travel quite a bit. So my brother helped me start on a home business. It was going well, but stressful to handle the business and a baby.

2No Distortion

I went to my first therapy appointment last week, and I’m really upset about it. I think I found a great therapist, and I was really looking forward to meeting her and getting started, but right before therapy, I got so anxious. I started shaking when we for into her office, which she noticed and started asking me about it, which made me even more uncomfortable. Then, we started talking about my past (I’ve been depressed since adolescence, went to therapy then, even spent some time in the hospital), and she tried to go through all of my history, but I was still so anxious, that I could barely talk to her, and she didn’t even try to calm me down. At times I started to cry, but I don’t know if she was going too fast or just asking hard questions, but probably both. She wants to talk about stuff like aggression in family, sexuality and so on in next session, but I don’t think I can handle it so fast. I’m not yet comfortable with her, and now I’m even more uncomfortable. I’m practically scared of seeing that therapist again, even though I still believe she’s the best one I could find. Should I email her, explain what happened and ask her if we can go slower? Also, I could use some kind of milder approach, because she seems very strict, cold and distant. Would it be okay to ask nicely for that too? I’m not sure I can work or even talk to her if this keeps happening. *Thank you very much.*

Then, we started talking about my past (I’ve been depressed since adolescence, went to therapy then, even spent some time in the hospital), and she tried to go through all of my history, but I was still so anxious, that I could barely talk to her, and she didn’t even try to calm me down.

3Magnification

My husband I have been married for three years and up until about three months ago, things have been great. There have been a number of stressful events for him lately: I had a minor health crisis and a car accident (unrelated), he experienced medication-induced weight gain (a BIG no-no for him). Also, he was adopted as a baby and recently found his biological family. That’s been very positive, but very emotional too. Lately, he’s been lashing out at me on a regular — almost nightly basis. The slightest thing can set him off. He gets angry if I don’t help enough. But many times, I’ll ask “What can I do for you after work?” He’ll say “nothing.” Then he gets mad at me for not helping. Or he’ll say he had ABCDXYZ to do and I didn’t do any of it. If I point out that I had no idea he had all that and he should have asked for my help, he snaps that I should have just known it. I try to stay calm but it’s hard not to feel hurt when he hurls accusations at me, like saying I don’t care about him and that I just married him for his money. That’s not true. He’s also angry that I’m close to my family (he’s never gotten along with his adoptive parents) and he keeps insisting that I must have been molested as a child and then brainwashed because that’s the only reason I’d be so loyal to them. I’m hoping finding and bonding with his biological family — which is already happening — will help with the family stuff but I’m still afraid. I love my family. I know they’re not perfect but I also know they’d NEVER hurt me. Or him. It’s becoming an almost nightly occurrence that we’ll have several hours of him lashing out at me and me basically taking it and feeling worse and worse about myself or more and more resentful of him. He always apologizes and says he knows he was wrong. Yet it happens again. He won’t do counseling. He’s tried it before and insists it doesn’t work for him. He does see a psychiatrist and takes mood stabilizing meds. What other options do I have? I want him to be happy and to be more like he was.

It’s becoming an almost nightly occurrence that we’ll have several hours of him lashing out at me and me basically taking it and feeling worse and worse about myself or more and more resentful of him.

5Personalization

I am usually a very happy individual and throughout most of the day I am quite upbeat and friendly. However, I find that sometimes I will become irritable for little reason. If my shoes feel weird, if I can’t find something, just setting up my computer, or for no reason at all, can cause me to become irritated. It is not to the point where I am yelling and screaming, but I feel a strong urge to break something or to exert force of some kind.

2No Distortion

From Lebanon: I am dealing with a big problem! Im a 21 year old girl, I love my family so much and they are everything to me. Four years ago I met a boy and we are dating since then, he is my entire life and he is amazing to me. My family hate him but they didn’t met him at all, they hate his parents so they don’t agree on this relationship and they talk about him in a very bad way and that hurts me so much. I tried to talk to them but they think that I’m in love with him so I don’t think correctly, I’m seeing him behind their back and I lie on them every day and when they find out they become so mad, my sister met him and she likes him and they became friends, but she is afraid to tell my parents. In addition, he is a short guy so they make fun of this every time.

My family hate him but they didn’t met him at all, they hate his parents so they don’t agree on this relationship and they talk about him in a very bad way and that hurts me so much. In addition, he is a short guy so they make fun of this every time.

3Magnification

From Australia: My Fiance and I have been together for 3 years. During this time his mother and step father have manipulated him to give them money to pay for their addictions (drinking, gambling, smoking). When he doesn’t do it the mother in law threatens to kill herself. After 2.5 years I begged him to stop and he did for a short time. Now I have stepped away from his family as I can’t bare to be around them and this has caused conflict between my fiance and I. He seems confused as to why I don’t want to have them in my life. However, during multiple occasions his mother has verbally assaulted me and financially affected us.

He seems confused as to why I don’t want to have them in my life.

8Mind Reading

My friend is obsessed with conspiracy theories to the point where It’s negatively effecting her life and disconnecting her from reality. She spends excessive amounts of time online reading about them. She was sexually abused as a child. Is there anything I can do as her friend to help nudge her back into reality and encourage interest in other pursuits?

2No Distortion

My mom has been cheating on my dad for many years, and I have also known for many years. Let me start with a short summary of my parents’ relationship with each other. It’s terrible. My mom has directly told me that my dad doesn’t help her emotionally or physically. She even told me that if it wasn’t for me and my other siblings, they would’ve gotten a divorce such a long time ago. Since I was around 10 years old I noticed that my mom is on the phone with the same person A LOT. I know it’s the same person because the same number comes on the screen every time she gets a call (she doesn’t have a contact for him.) When I was 10 years old I asked her if she was cheating and she lied straight to my face. She told me that she wasn’t cheating and that it was just a friend. I forgot about it for another year and started thinking about it again when I was 11. I’m 14 now and I’ve been holding this in for so many years. Every time I think about it I get anxious and shaken up. I look over her shoulder and see flirty messages from this person, and I’m started to hold grudges against my mom. I feel like I’m 100% going to explode on her one day, but I love my mom to death. What can I do to help myself get through this? Should I talk to my sister about it? Should I tell my dad? I haven’t even told my closest friends (or anyone) about how I’m feeling about this. I just need some advice. (From the USA)

I feel like I’m 100% going to explode on her one day, but I love my mom to death.

4Fortune-telling

From a teen in the U.S.: A few nights ago I was in my car near an overpass typing my letter to my family on my phone. I didn’t get out of my car, but i was coming close to it. I got it together and left and haven’t had any suicidal thoughts since then and have no intent of coming that close again.

2No Distortion

From a teen in France: I sometimes see things that aren’t there. It doesn’t happen often, but I do. I sometimes see shadows that aren’t there from the corner of my eyes ( I know that they aren’t there because when I turn to look at them they’re gone ), but apparently it happens to a lot of people so although it’s kind of scary it doesn’t worry me.

2No Distortion

My mother always comments on my appearance or tries to quickly fix small things about how I look– like hair or clothing– even though I constantly ask her not to, and now I hate receiving compliments from her. She also constantly asks what I’m doing on my phone or laptop and accuses me of doing things I’m not supposed to if I say no. At one point, maybe a year or so ago, I accused her of putting spyware on my phone and she didn’t say no and, if asked, would describe small parts or features of it, albeit hesitantly. When I came out to her she said sexuality fluid and, brought up again later, said I “decided” to be this way and wouldn’t elaborate, and hasn’t brought it up again. I brought up her toxic behaviors to her and she got really angry at me and assigned me chores to do because of it. My brother, who is 18, constantly belittles and yells at me for minuscule things, like not doing a favor for him, and will call me a crybaby if I cry. My mom has stopped trying to stop or punish him and hasn’t for a long time now. I don’t like coming out of my room when either of them are home because it usually always ends up in an argument and I desperately want to get away, but I don’t want to stay with anyone else as I always feel awkward and out of place near other people like family or friends.

My mother always comments on my appearance or tries to quickly fix small things about how I look– like hair or clothing– even though I constantly ask her not to, and now I hate receiving compliments from her.

7Overgeneralization

I am a 17 year old male and I live in Boise, Idaho. I have had chronic insomnia for a while and I simply can’t sleep but when I do I sleep a lot. I have an IQ of 150 and I heard that high IQ individuals usually stay up late. The chronic insomnia however makes me have sound hallucinations sometimes and I constantly lose touch with reality, I sometimes pace around the room in bliss while making weird grimaces. I only do so at home when alone. I sometimes feel like losing it and running around like crazy in public or flying into a rage. I barely manage to control myself.

I have an IQ of 150 and I heard that high IQ individuals usually stay up late.

1Emotional Reasoning

I’m spiraling into this state of despair because I cannot enjoy what is around me. The birds, the trees, the sky, the smile of people, nothing. It brings no joy to me and it really bothers me. However, I understand that no human can live this wonderful life all of the time and be scott free without seeing some things that bother them. In my case, I’ve seen some very horrible things, mostly car accidents and family members who have died from various diseases and being mortified and shocked at them having no life anymore. I’m very sensitive to such things as well and it effects me more than anyone else I know and it bothers me. Even a dead deer on the side of the road traumatizes me for the day or seeing some zombies. One particular day, however, sealed the deal with me being pretty much traumatized constantly. So I’m 13 years old and I’m going to a doctor’s appointment and I see an old man with his skull crushed in and the insides of his head splattered all over the highway from a Semi hitting him in his car. Imagine how mortified I was. I didn’t speak for a whole day as a matter of fact and I cried the whole night. That perhaps sealed the deal with me being shocked. So fast forward to me being 20 now and I’m upset that I can’t be happy because I am in this constant state of shock and I do these thousand yard stares yet think and feel nothing because I’ve seen what horrors the world has offered. I can’t be happy at all. I ask God to help me but my mental capacity does not allocate me to register that there is innocence around me and that I should smile because my innocence and happiness has been permanently stolen from me and I am in a constant state of shock and I feel “out of the world”. Not like I’m high, I just feel permanently detached from everything, which includes me happiness. I can still feel sadness which is unfortunate but I try to cope with it. To do this I’ve grown very very attached to horses and I hug them to feel better, however this is temporary and I wish to be happy from my surroundings.

I’m spiraling into this state of despair because I cannot enjoy what is around me. The birds, the trees, the sky, the smile of people, nothing. It brings no joy to me and it really bothers me. I’m very sensitive to such things as well and it effects me more than anyone else I know and it bothers me. I can’t be happy at all.

9Mental filter

I am having daydreams where I am being physically punished. They are stories in my head where I am always the victim. They usually involve an authority figure beating me and forcing sex on me. These daydreams have become obsessive that I have lost interest in my hobbies. It is disturbing to me that I enjoy them and I want them to happen to me in real life. It is difficult to focus at work and driving with this story script running in my head. I am 45 and have Had Schizoaffective disorder since my 20s. These daydreams are always a precursor that I am getting sick. I get the daydreams and 1 or 2 weeks later I hear voices. This time I lasted 2 weeKs before the voices started. I take my medicine as prescribed. I am udergoing increased stress with a bankruptcy. My question is why do I get these daydreams and how can I stop them before I get extremely sick and need hospitalization? Thank you for your time in answering my question.

2No Distortion

From Sweden: I have seen my current T for one year during which we have managed to build a good, trustworthy relationship. My road to therapy has been very traumatizing, complex and very painful. My T started his summer vacation 3 days ago, when I last met him. We had 3 sessions per week, which for me is the absolute min. and not always sufficient.

2No Distortion

without too much detail, I am a child from divorced parents at age 30ish, I have a very grounded,educated upbringing with a lot of advantages. I myself have been described as caring, carefree, forgiving, and I have never been diagnosed with any mental illness. My parents are both living and enjoying other parts of their older lives. Each is healthy and in good mental shape.

2No Distortion

I’m an emotional wreck. Nothing triggers it. I just get emotional out of nowhere. I will cry for hours for no reason. I keep hearing voices in my head saying there’s something watching me and then i would freak out and start shaking and sobbing even more. I sometimes have to cover my ears in attempt to quiet down the voices. I also have an unhealthy habit of food binging. I can’t help it and i feel horrible after it. I will have something like a manic episode where i feel like i can do anything! I will suddenly get emotionally unstable again and get suicidal out of nowhere. I’m so paranoid and feel like people are always watching me. I feel like people are in my head reading my innermost thoughts. It drives me crazy. I know that it’s not possible but tell that to the crazy voices in my head. I hear people calling me when there’s no one around. I see shadowy figures lurking around my house. I display such inappropriate emotions all the time. If someone told me their dog just passed away then i would probably burst out laughing. Yeah this is why i can never attend a funeral. My mother thinks im ridiculously paranoid and delusional but i’m not. People don’t understand. I feel like im going mad. I sometimes can’t even show any emotions because i simply can’t feel. That hurts people. Im ridiculously empathetic but also ridiculously insensitive. Im always crying for no reason. I will burst out laughing for no reason. People tell me that im a psychopath or that im insane but I’m not. I could be rational sometimes. Which is why im here. Im actually a really intelligent person academically. I just don’t understand all of this madness. I feel like im going to accidentally drive myself into suicide because of this. I already self harm for relief. I have not been diagnosed with anything because i never got tested or went to a psychologist. I also really feel like im losing my grip on reality and my sanity is slipping. Could this be indicative of something bigger? (age 14, from US)

People don’t understand. I feel like im going mad. I sometimes can’t even show any emotions because i simply can’t feel. That hurts people. Im ridiculously empathetic but also ridiculously insensitive. Im always crying for no reason. I will burst out laughing for no reason.

1Emotional Reasoning

Do you think I have borderline personality disorder or similar? I’m a female 17 year old college student in my second year and I just want to know if I have any diagnosable mental problems and how severe they are. So I’ll list the symptoms I can think of.

2No Distortion

My parents got divorced in 2004. My mother has never recovered, she has severe mood swings, i think she may be bipolar. When I was six years old in 1998, my father moved our family to Germany because he was in the army. I had an amazing childhood. When I was twelve in 2004, my father had to go to Iraq. My mother thought it would be best if she moved my brother and I back to the U.S., where we would have family support. I was very depressed because my dad was my hero and I blamed my mom for everything that went wrong. I felt like no one understood me, mostly because we live in a very remote and rural part of the state. When my dad came back, he wanted a divorce from my mother. A few years earlier, my mother had to have surgery on her hip. my dad left her in the hospital and met a woman at a bar. They hooked up and my mom was devestated. But he promised he’d never do it again.

2No Distortion

I want to ask out the girl I like. We know each other for 10 years now. We are aquaintances not friends. I developed crush on her.I think she also likes me ( I’m pretty sure). I want to ask her out(coffee) in person but I rarely see her although she lives near me.

2No Distortion

Although I know it’s wrong to self-diagnose, I self-diagnosed myself with dysthymia just in February because I started thinking about killing myself, although I never actualized my thoughts (because I know it’s wrong), when before, starting when I was around 8, I just thought of about how life for me and for everyone else around me might be better off without me being born – because I noticed the favoritism of my parents toward me over my sister.

Although I know it’s wrong to self-diagnose, I self-diagnosed myself with dysthymia just in February because I started thinking about killing myself, although I never actualized my thoughts (because I know it’s wrong), when before, starting when I was around 8, I just thought of about how life for me and for everyone else around me might be better off without me being born – because I noticed the favoritism of my parents toward me over my sister.

7Overgeneralization

From a young woman in Canada:  We dated for 2 years, lived together and were really in love. I had problems moving to a new city a lot of things happened and I was unhappy with anxiety. It was too much on him and we broke up. We tried again but he would be hot and cold.. one moment he would say he was committed to trying and the next I wasn’t right for him. He said he still loves me and he can’t.

one moment he would say he was committed to trying and the next I wasn’t right for him.

0All-or-nothing thinking

From England: I am 16 and I cannot stop myself from imagining I am in a different scenario and talking to people who aren’t there. Everyday and sometimes before I sleep, I am always making up scenarios and characters in my head and live in them. I have these characters I have made up with their own image and backstory and I have a character I have made for myself and now I just automatically slip into this character and talk to the people I have made up without even realizing I’m doing it. This started when I was around 5 and now I just can’t stop.

Everyday and sometimes before I sleep, I am always making up scenarios and characters in my head and live in them.

7Overgeneralization

From a teen in the U.S.: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while and recently broke up because she has a lot of trouble controlling her emotions. When we argue she says a lot of hurtful things and then randomly apologizes for it later. Its really confusing because I don’t know what she really means sometimes.

2No Distortion

Hi, I have an uncle with schizophrenia and it has always been in the back of my mind. About 3 months ago I began to have really bad anxiety and have been obsessively thinking about schizophrenia. I also noticed a change in my thinking patterns as my brain is never calm, I’m always imagining conversations with friends and family in my head or singing a song and obsessing over schizophrenia to the point I was making myself have paranoid schizophrenic thoughts, which could have possibly been my real thoughts. Today I went to the bathroom and it looked like the walls were moving and I had this problem last week in my lecture where it looked like the projector was moving but it wasn’t and I’m not sure if this is just an illusion, schizophrenia, or my anxiety. My doctor gave me Lexapro for anxiety last week so I’m not sure if this is causing any perceptual problems as well. My anxiety is mostly tied to my fear of schizophrenia.

I also noticed a change in my thinking patterns as my brain is never calm, I’m always imagining conversations with friends and family in my head or singing a song and obsessing over schizophrenia to the point I was making myself have paranoid schizophrenic thoughts, which could have possibly been my real thoughts.

7Overgeneralization

My sister has autism spectrum disorder, she always had problems with depression and anxiety. She always spoke to herself when we were younger, but about a year ago she got hit by a car and fractured her skull in 12 places. And now she’s different, she has violent tendencies and she says she thinks people are talking about her or staring at her when no one is, she thought my mom and aunt were talking about her but we haven’t seen her in over a month so she couldn’t have known at all. She thinks everyone is out to get her. I tried looking up schizophrenia and the stages of it but it doesn’t quite match up. She feels every emotion, she is very caring, but she needs help but won’t get it because she thinks what she’s hearing is true.

She feels every emotion, she is very caring, but she needs help but won’t get it because she thinks what she’s hearing is true.

8Mind Reading

From Indonesia: Lately, I’ve been having a sleeping problem. I would either have bad dreams or suddenly bad thoughts come into my mind. The bad dreams that I’ve been having mostly about being chased, getting stuck or confronting something that makes me feel helpless and after that, I would wake up breathing heavily and panting.

I would either have bad dreams or suddenly bad thoughts come into my mind. The bad dreams that I’ve been having mostly about being chased, getting stuck or confronting something that makes me feel helpless and after that, I would wake up breathing heavily and panting.

3Magnification

My boyfriend of 2 years is a wonderful person, but he suffers from depression, anxiety, and OCD. He takes medicine to control it. He also takes blood pressure medicine. Things will be wonderful for a month or so, and then snap, he shuts down. He starts saying he wants to be alone, stops talking to everyone, talks like we are over and are breaking up. When this has happened, I cry and tell him he isn’t going anywhere. Sometimes he has started crying too, other times just got angry. I don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me thinks this is a routine, and just do the same thing and things will be okay, another part of me, thinks I should just let him go, because maybe I’m forcing him to stay with me. When I ask him what happened, he says this is who he is, messed up in the head. He doesn’t know why he does it. It’s not easy to give up, because when he isn’t going through it, things are perfect. There is nothing else to complain about. Any idea what is going on, and what can help?

Part of me thinks this is a routine, and just do the same thing and things will be okay, another part of me, thinks I should just let him go, because maybe I’m forcing him to stay with me.

5Personalization

From England: Hi there. So these past couple months my Significant other seems to get angrier and angrier at things that are so simple. I will say something, that with any other person, could be annoying but easily fixable and not worth a fight. The moment I say it to him, he loses it. Starts to yell at me, tells me to shut up, gets in my face, and tell me he doesn’t give a crap about me.

So these past couple months my Significant other seems to get angrier and angrier at things that are so simple.

8Mind Reading

From the U.S.: I am so concerned about my husband & am wondering if maybe he is suffering from something more than a usual bout of depression. its pretty consistent nowadays. Usually, in the mornings he is the happy, optimistic, loving husband I fell in love with almost 30 yrs ago. but then come the late afternoon he does a 180 & gets grumpy, apathetic & is basically a real jerk & hard to be around! then he gets down, he’s sorry & keeps apologizing. And somehow I end up feeling like its all my fault when really I can’t get my head to stop spinning from trying to figure out what in the heck just happened!

And somehow I end up feeling like its all my fault when really I can’t get my head to stop spinning from trying to figure out what in the heck just happened!

5Personalization

From Indonesia: I am sorry if my English is not that good. I’ve been diagnosed with pure Os for 10 years or so, and I’ve been drinking SSRIs for 2 years, which helped me a lot. Now my obsessions are lowered and there is only one kind of fear that buggers me a lot. I am afraid of being influenced by someone’s opinion, when that person doesn’t like the things that I like. I am afraid that by understanding her/his perspective, I’ll stop enjoying the things that I do enjoy. It works on some emotional level even when I understand how unreasonable is that fear of mine.

I am afraid of being influenced by someone’s opinion, when that person doesn’t like the things that I like. I am afraid that by understanding her/his perspective, I’ll stop enjoying the things that I do enjoy.

4Fortune-telling

I have been having psychotic episodes since I can remember. Hallucinations and delusions take up a good percentage of my childhood memories and still to this day are so extreme I spend half of my day out of reality. My doctors in the past have refused to look at the possibility of schizophrenia. My current doctor says I do not meet requirements, yet I have extreme visual and auditory hallucinations to the point I can’t work or even really be a viable member of society. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Disorder NOS. I am confused as to what is going on, because I apparently have extreme delusions in regards to my occult obsessions. I am starting to realize that something is wrong with my thinking, and I am irritated that both my current doctor and doctors in the past have not even looked at schizophrenia, nor have even entertained the idea. I feel underplayed and that I am not being well taken care of because they just slapped an easy diagnosis on me and didn’t look any further. I am miserable, and my family and friends are sick of my “delusions,” making things even worse. I have not heard of or found anything about people having been born with symptoms such as psychosis, especially as extreme as it is with me. I am by no means a professional and do not want to self-diagnose, but I am able to pinpoint certain symptoms I have in the diagnostic manuals. I match the things with Schizophrenia. I have been diagnosed as Bipolar I,II, and schizoaffective bipolar type. Even when I tell my doctor, those schizophrenic symptoms are ignored. I am honestly afraid that I may be schizophrenic and I am not being properly treated. I am scared for myself. What can I do to get someone to actually find out what is going on?

I am honestly afraid that I may be schizophrenic and I am not being properly treated.

1Emotional Reasoning

I’ve felt like this since I was 16. I feel empty inside and it’s almost a constant thing. I have tried to ignore the feeling but it didn’t work. I can’t remember the last time I really felt something. Right now I just feel sad. I feel guilty for things I shouldn’t and I feel so alone and isolated, despite having others around me. I feel like no one really cares about me and that I’m bothering them. I have no energy, I feel tired and all I want to do is stay in bed. I have no motivation for school and I can’t concentrate no matter how hard I try to. I feel awkward and slow, physically and mentally, which results in me thinking I’m an idiot if I do something ‘wrong’. When I get like this, I don’t eat like I usually do. Sometimes I’ll oversleep and still feel tired or I’ll sleep very little with tossing and turning. I don’t feel interested in what I like. Sometimes I just get so angry and the only way I can calm down is by punching a wall. What I hate the most though is that when I get like this, I feel like I’m not real; I feel like I’m watching someone else living their life. I feel like I don’t know who I am. The longest I’ve felt sad has been around 3 weeks, as far as I’m aware.

I’ve felt like this since I was 16. I feel empty inside and it’s almost a constant thing. I have tried to ignore the feeling but it didn’t work. I can’t remember the last time I really felt something.

9Mental filter

I have two issues. I keep getting mad at my bf for the smallest things. We will be together for 6 years this coming July. I’m not sure if it’s because of my ego, my experience or my genes. My father was abusive towards my mother and I witnessed all of that when I was younger. I have passion for photography and recently, I’ve been trying to find a job in that field. So, I found one that’s part time and id have to work during some weekends. I am also finding a full-time job. I told him about it and showed him the page I found and at that time, he didn’t seem to like it and gave me excuses like my camera is just a basic one so how am I supposed to be giving clients that kind of quality. I told him that it was written on the website that they don’t really mind what camera I’m using and then he gave other excuses. I asked if he doesn’t want me to take on the job and he denied. I already suspected in the first place that the main reason he did not want me to have the job is that I may find a better guy than him and that we will have lesser time for each other since he too has a full time job. I also get mad when he doesn’t pronounce properly or has an obviously wrong grammar when he speaks to me or when he says ok to everything even when I say that he won’t be able to handle it (he would ask to carry my stuff when his hands are already full). We kept talking about the photography job that I was going to take on. He then said that he wants to take on the same job in that same company. I got really mad because that just doesn’t make sense.

I keep getting mad at my bf for the smallest things.

3Magnification

Hi there, I’m torn between accepting or rejecting a diagnosis of Bipolar II. A clinical psychologist diagnosed me with Bipolar II a week ago and now I am under a primary care physician to receive mood stabilizing medication this week. I don’t think I have bipolar disorder though. Can personality not sometimes resemble bipolar? I am sometimes hyperactive and able to take on a 100 projects, feel super smart and pretty and am at the top of my game. I need little sleep and in fact find sleep an annoying timewaster. Then I have times, probably more often, where I feel sorry for myself, feel ugly, stupid and can barely clean my flat or look after my pets. When I’m hyper, I harm no one, I don’t spend too much or gamble or drink or do anything that could be considered damaging. I just work really hard, accomplish a lot (I work fulltime as a project manager, am a freelance educational writer and am in the third year of a science degree for which I have had 18 distinctions so far). When I am down, I do feel very sad and think of killing myself every now and then, but I would never kill myself as I know logically this would be stupid and that I always feel better again. In my mind, I am just a highly functional individual who is able to achieve a lot, use my time to the max, sometimes feeling on the top of the world and sometimes not. I’m used to feeling like this and I have all sorts of coping mechanisms around it. I am completely alone, no family and few uninvolved friends, so my state of mood never affects anyone. I also have no support structure should it really be bipolar and should I need help. I don’t understand why I should go on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. I’ve had no breaks with reality, just a few very minor private breakdowns where I have cried a lot. But I got over those and I was just overworked and under a lot of pressure and it didn’t affect anyone other than me. What do you do when you are torn between accepting a diagnosis and thinking it is total nonsense? I change my mind at least 20 times a day. I can’t imagine I will be able to be compliant with taking medication or accepting help. (age 38, from South Africa)

Then I have times, probably more often, where I feel sorry for myself, feel ugly, stupid and can barely clean my flat or look after my pets.

9Mental filter

From the U.K.: I had very severe depression and anxiety a few years ago and I saw a therapist for around two years. I don’t think we were particularly close, or particularly distant, but we got on ok, and she was very helpful to me. I am now hoping to go into psychotherapy myself, and I was hoping it would be acceptable to contact her to ask some specific questions about how to access career opportunities and training in our area.

2No Distortion

Whenever I am in public, perhaps School, I tend to get very uncomfortable whenever people touch me. For example, if someone were to lay their arm on my shoulder I would immediately feel very grossed out and become angry and yell at them to get it off. It doesn’t happen with everyone though, there are a few select people, mostly family members and close friends, that it does not bother me when they touch me. But for the most part I cannot stand when people touch me. (From a preteen in the U.S.)

For example, if someone were to lay their arm on my shoulder I would immediately feel very grossed out and become angry and yell at them to get it off.

3Magnification

Ten months ago I met my girlfriend(now-ex), it wasn’t love at first sight or anything like that, but I did fall in love with her 2-3 months later. In her defense, she did tell me that she was bipolar, however it was not a mild case as she told me. She was the sweetest person, made me feel like I was the king of the world for the first 3 months.

2No Distortion

Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me if I need to turn in me or my ex to authorities. First, my ex was not very kind to me when I was with him. I told him I had a severe form of Non-Verbal Learning Disability when I got diagnosed and that the reason I am somewhat okay socially is because my parents always over encouraged me to be social and one of my friends taught me how to talk to people “normally”(and I’d go to my parents with any social questions). He would tell me I seemed fine and I would tell him that part of it was my generalized anxiety making me stay more quiet and overthink and overthink until I figured out non-awkward or offensive things to say (esp. in a text). When I would bring this up, he would basically tell me to try harder because when we first dated (and I was on Abilify, an antipsychotic that actually can help autistics), I didn’t act so different. Also during the relationship, he told me that he laughed during gore scenes in movies and had obsessive urges to harm people, but drowned it out with stories he told himself and video games. Now that we are broken up and he treats the relationship as if it were my fault for it ending and makes me do all the work to get him to talk to me, we have parted ways completely, and too often I have urges to harm him, mainly to show him the pain he caused me and my cause other, and also because he is entering the military with confidential computer data access which scares me. I’m angry with myself for becoming like him, but he called me out of my mind once, and I had a psychiatrist that tried to convince me I was with practically no evidence. Granted I was histrionic in the relationship and easily anxious that he’d break up with me when we had a really intense text fight involving all caps. He also accused me more than once of cheating when I never once cheated. Never agreed to call me as my therapist suggested us do for my NVLD. Told me it was my fault I struggled so badly to pay attention to my teacher because she never stayed on one topic. He wasn’t nice.

Now that we are broken up and he treats the relationship as if it were my fault for it ending and makes me do all the work to get him to talk to me, we have parted ways completely, and too often I have urges to harm him, mainly to show him the pain he caused me and my cause other, and also because he is entering the military with confidential computer data access which scares me.

5Personalization

From the U.S.: I recently started seeing a psychiatrist for ADHD. She also offers psychotherapy and comes from an ISTDP and CBT approach. I am now on medication for that and requested therapy to help me understand and manage some of the issues my ADHD has caused. During my first 30m med management appointment yesterday, it became clear I was more depressed than I had considered myself during intake.

2No Distortion

My daughter has experienced mental illness and over time her diagnosis has changed. She is 20 and had to leave college to return to enter an intensive day treatment program. She suffered from depression, anxiety, hallucinations and some cognitive changes where she could not read nor do school work. First she was diagnosis as Major Depression with psychosis, then schizophrenia, then they were ruling out PTSD and now they are saying Psychosis since the PTSD symptoms were from delusions.She is taking Geodon, Zoloft, Trihexyphenidyl and Temazepan…which are helping. What is the difference between schizophrenia and psychosis and why is it so difficult to get a diagnosis?

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: I have an overwhelming fear of home invasions. My house in the past has been broken into multiple times. Despite the fact that we now have an alarm system, dogs, etc. I still do not feel safe. This fear often keeps me up at night, listening for any noises or looking out for anything out of the ordinary. During this time i often experience panic attack like symptoms as well as extreme paranoia.

Despite the fact that we now have an alarm system, dogs, etc. I still do not feel safe. This fear often keeps me up at night, listening for any noises or looking out for anything out of the ordinary. During this time i often experience panic attack like symptoms as well as extreme paranoia.

3Magnification

I’ve been attending therapy for several months now and just recently (last three times) my therapist has been coming out about 20 minutes late and often ending early. She never acknowledges it, but a 50-minute session was 20 minutes. Is this an attempt to communicate something? I do struggle with talk therapy; I began going because it’s something you’re supposed to do after a suicide attempt (6 months ago due to amalgamation of MDD, fertility/hormonal issues, eating disorder, job stress, and childhood trauma). I spend a fair amount of time staring at the carpet during appointments because I don’t know what to say. I have been in therapy before, and I did the same thing, so it’s not on her. I feel like I may not have the personality for this to be successful or I’ve made her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want to push someone seen as vulnerable over the edge, so instead she just turns up late. Is this a thing?

I feel like I may not have the personality for this to be successful or I’ve made her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want to push someone seen as vulnerable over the edge, so instead she just turns up late.

5Personalization

I’m 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, his second, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Before I got pregnant we were into alcohol and weed and clubs and we lived the fast paced city lifestyle. After I got pregnant, I decided to change my life for the better, cut off bad influences, and become a sober parent for my son especially since I know the pain of growing up with drug-abusing parents. My child’s father hasn’t changed any, and he says he doesn’t want to.. not even for our son. He says because of things that happened in the past, he loves me but he doesn’t trust me and he believes after I have my son I’ll go back to my old ways and that my changes are an act. He texts other women in my house, he barely talks to me, and he makes me feel unappreciated in every way. Because I didn’t have a father in my life growing up.. I’ve been trying to keep him around for my baby but, I’m starting to have second thoughts on whether this is more beneficial than it is harmful.. I don’t know what to do. WHATEVER I do needs to be the best possible option for my son.

He texts other women in my house, he barely talks to me, and he makes me feel unappreciated in every way.

7Overgeneralization

Ok, this is embarrassing but critical. I am in numerous sexual addiction therapy groups. My particular addiction is fueled by a Fetish and I’d like to get to the root of it and ferret it out. Since childhood, I have been sexually stimulated by the sight of a woman (and to a lesser extent, a man) going to the bathroom. By that I mean the actually sight of the excretion process, not merely them sitting on a toilet. Also, I am also sexually stimulated by the exhibitionist side of the coin as well. My question is the following: would this be considered a fetishistic disorder, or voyeurism/exhibitionist disorder? I would like to find a support group geared around this particular problem but am not sure where to look. Thanks.

2No Distortion

I have been in a relationship with Steven for over a year now, and he is only beginning to open up about his parents. He is 17, and lives with his parents currently, and they come from a very low income family. When I go over to his house, his father is always drunk, yelling at the tv or his granddaughter in profane language. His mother has never shown an ounce of intrest in him when im there, and has not even bothered to enroll him back into highschool after he was expelled when a student attacked him. He has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD, and was on pills for sometime, but his parents took him off for some reason…..They dont have health insurance for him, and he hasn’t been to a doctor in over 2 years. It has gotten to the point where he is going to ask his grandmother if she can take him to the doctor. He also has this randomly recurring, excruciating pain in his ribs every so often,lasting anywhere from a minute to several hours. since he was a child and no doctor could diagnose it. i think it may be all the extreme stress…He went through tremendous physical abuse at a younger age, and constant moving from home to home. I want to help him get past this and heal his emotional wounds so he can make a great life for himself. Last night he was going through a really rough time, and actually scared me with what he expressed about his feelings. He has no other family members, in town, other than his two adult sisters that moved into an apartment together 10 minutes away…. however he cannot stay there because they recently had a baby and the boyfriend is living with them. his parents continuously put him down and tell him how worthless he is, and how they’re kicking him out the second he turns 18. He says he just wants parents who ask how you’re feeling, say i love you and how your day was… but he has never had that. he comes home to drinking and smoking and screaming. This past week he has started his first job, working for a contracting company doing under the table work like hanging dry wall and packing mud, he is really exited to be making money and i want to help him figure out a savings plan so he can move out when he turns 18. im sorry this is so long, i just wanted to tell you the whole situation, and i just want someone to give me some advise on how to help him move on from his parents and love himself. It tears me apart to see him go through this, and know this is all hes ever known.

2No Distortion

From a teen in India:  It usually happens when I wake up and I can’t stop thinking it’s not that i have anything to think about or worry For but i just think about anything not necessarily negative just anything and then the mind shifts to another thing and another and it’s not the way we all think in the morning

It usually happens when I wake up and I can’t stop thinking it’s not that i have anything to think about or worry For but i just think about anything not necessarily negative just anything and then the mind shifts to another thing and another and it’s not the way we all think in the morning

6Should statements

From Eqypt: I always worry about my relationships with my friends and other people and always conclude things about other people’s actions or thoughts causing me to act upon somethings or situation then regretting acting that way afterwards or act in the wrong way. That issue makes me afraid of starting any kind of conversation with my friends and makes me nervous of making a mistake whenever I talk to anyone which may seem to other people on the outside that I hate them or I’m not sociable and boring.

I always worry about my relationships with my friends and other people and always conclude things about other people’s actions or thoughts causing me to act upon somethings or situation then regretting acting that way afterwards or act in the wrong way.

8Mind Reading

I want to know if I’m insane. Sometimes I burst into laughter or tears uncontrollably. I have had times where I have taken sharp surfaces, rubbed them against my wrist to peel the skin off, and I was smiling and laughing. Sometimes I act in a way that resembles someone on drugs and wake up confused. I’m scared of therapist and guidance counselors. I feel very afraid of my mind here and there, it’s usually filled with morbid images. I like the taste of my own blood and have a habit of licking peoples’ skin. Other times, I seem perfectly normal, I’m happy and have a lot of fun. I can fake many emotions easily though, sometime I don’t even know how I’m actually feeling. I just want to be able to understand what’s going on with me. I have problems improving on my own and I think this might be a step forward to getting better. When I care for people, it’s a lot and the slightest things either tick me off or shake to the core, leaving me depressed. I bottle things up all the time and have been suicidal before. I need answers……please.

2No Distortion

This is so relatable. I’m starting 10th grade after 2 months, having my finals right now. And so far I’ve gotten really less marks in EVERYTHING. 2 years ago I skipped 9 months of school due to my parents going on a long ‘‘vacation’’. I’ve been diagnosed with depression with a doctor there. But it all settled after I came back. You see, I was always a topper and an overachiever. I used to beat myself up if I got a grade less or two. I always expected full from myself. But now..It’s different. I’m just NEARLY passing all my tests,I’m disappointed in myself and so are my teachers. I constantly have a bad memory, I sleep a lot, and oh where do I start with procrastination. I’m worried if there’s something wrong with me, or I’m just a pathetic idiot; a born failure. Please advise me on how to sort my school-life together or if I’m doing something wrong.

And so far I’ve gotten really less marks in EVERYTHING. You see, I was always a topper and an overachiever. I used to beat myself up if I got a grade less or two. I always expected full from myself. But now..It’s different. I’m just NEARLY passing all my tests,I’m disappointed in myself and so are my teachers. I constantly have a bad memory, I sleep a lot, and oh where do I start with procrastination. I’m worried if there’s something wrong with me, or I’m just a pathetic idiot; a born failure.

10Labeling

Recently I feel like I have been acting odd and people are starting to notice. I randomly zone out and have visual hallucinations like tall silhouettes and people following me. There’s also a voice in my head that will whisper to me during the day, but becomes extremely more vocal at night. Sometimes they’ll tell me to do odd things like hide under a desk or confess my undying love or hate to a stranger. Sometimes it’s worse, they just whisper my name over and over, sometimes tell me to kill or hurt people that I wouldn’t want to. They also seem to control my thoughts and feelings, because sometimes they say I need help and I believe them. Other times they say I don’t and I believe them. They generally control how I feel about people. I’m also convinced that other people can read my thoughts, maybe not everyone, but definitely most people. Nobody else believes me and I really do want an answer. Thank you very much.

I’m also convinced that other people can read my thoughts, maybe not everyone, but definitely most people.

8Mind Reading

I have a very close friend who is getting day by day very hard to deal with. The top symptoms include; -compulsive talker -Very defensive -always swaying up and down/side to side when standing -has to be right/wants someone to always agree -easily angered -trouble getting words out(sometimes as in a stuttering manner) -will interrupt conversations to speak on a past conversation that upset him -will repeat himself while you’re talking over and over again until acknowledged.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: The past few days have been the hardest. The mother of my son and I was together for about three years. I’ve never been the type to express how I feel in a sensitive way. I recently told her I didn’t wanna be with her and I felt it to be true up until she left and it’s been two weeks and she has already moved on and found a lover.

I’ve never been the type to express how I feel in a sensitive way. I recently told her I didn’t wanna be with her and I felt it to be true up until she left and it’s been two weeks and she has already moved on and found a lover.

0All-or-nothing thinking

So I will be fine, better than fine, happy even and then one day without anything happening I will hit a wall and fall into extreme sadness. Only time cures it. I contemplate killing myself. When this happens I am impossible to talk to, picking fights with everyone. Friends, family, if I am in a relationship at the time even they avoid me. It makes me more miserable. I have self-harmed in the past but I haven’t done it for years. I don’t know how to fix it, when I come out of my spell I feel dazed, I am apologizing to people close to me for days. I want it to stop but I have no idea how to start fixing it. I have gone to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with “mild depression” that according to my doctor doesn’t need medication. These periods happen two or three times a month normally lasting three or four days. Please help me.

So I will be fine, better than fine, happy even and then one day without anything happening I will hit a wall and fall into extreme sadness. Only time cures it. I contemplate killing myself. When this happens I am impossible to talk to, picking fights with everyone. Friends, family, if I am in a relationship at the time even they avoid me. It makes me more miserable. I have self-harmed in the past but I haven’t done it for years. I don’t know how to fix it, when I come out of my spell I feel dazed, I am apologizing to people close to me for days. These periods happen two or three times a month normally lasting three or four days. Please help me.

9Mental filter

From a teen man in the UK:  Back in May, me and my girlfriend had a break up which ended quite badly. I’ve been with her for 3 years and it was quite a surprise when she wanted to end it because we had been having altercations. Anyways, i went round a friends house who lives opposite her house and the night took a turn and we was drinking and getting high. As i was leaving very intoxicated (which is not an excuse) i think my emotions got the best of me and i keyed her car. I instantly regretted this at the time and i couldn’t believe what i done. I still regret it to this day! I instantly wrote a letter of apology the next day and payed for any damage. Im not a nasty person, it was a complete moment of madness from me!

I instantly regretted this at the time and i couldn’t believe what i done. I still regret it to this day!

9Mental filter

I am a mother of three children under six. I am not happy with the way I behave or treat my children. I get angry very quickly with them, I shout all the time and I verbally abuse them by saying horrible things to them and by going overboard with them.

2No Distortion

From an adult woman in the U.S.: I have weight and depression issues related to several traumatic events in my life (accidental death of father many years ago, recent violent death of mother, emotional abuse in former marriage). I also have a stressful job that I don’t love. I’ve been further traumatized by the current political situation in our country, I am very political.

I have weight and depression issues related to several traumatic events in my life (accidental death of father many years ago, recent violent death of mother, emotional abuse in former marriage). I also have a stressful job that I don’t love. I’ve been further traumatized by the current political situation in our country, I am very political.

9Mental filter

Hello, I hate my step daughter and don’t want her near my husband, but I need help overcoming these feelings. I have been with my husband for 5 years and my step daughter is now 11 years old. A couple years ago, she started to act out and become disrespectful and lazy. We tried everything to discipline and teach her how to be kind and empathetic, but no improvement was made. At this time, we spoke to her mom and step dad and all agreed she should be tested for a disability. Turns out she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), but her mom refuses to consider medication or alternative holistic approaches to helping in this matter. My husband has zero legal right in any medical treatments or therapy until she is 16. Long story short, this last summer she started to put herself in between my husband and I when he would show me affection. We put an end to that quickly and explained that we will not tolerate her jealousy or manipulative tactics to separate us. Recently, she told her grandma that she is scared of me. This resulted in a massive fight between the grandparents and my husband and I. We discussed this matter with the daughter and asked if she was truly scared of me and she said she was joking. She has been saying things like this about her step-dad for years now, however we know he treats her very well and there is no reason for these cruel remarks. She has used manipulation techniques like this for a couple years and started by playing the mom and dad against each other. I have done nothing but accept her into my life and have her become like a real daughter. About a year ago, her behavior started to change and she started displaying annoying and selfish behaviors that upset me greatly. She still expects her father to carry her up the stairs to put her to bed, massage her feet, snuggle with him on the couch, pick out her outfits and be in our bedroom without permission. I feel like she is challenging and competing with me. Every time I am snuggling with my husband on the couch, she immediately comes and lays on his lap and invades my time with her dad. At this point, when I hear her name, my skin crawls and I want nothing to do with her. The only time I argue with my husband is over her. How can I stop hating, detesting and loathing her? She tried to hug me last night and I couldn’t hug her back. I love children and it hurts me to feel this way about a child. Therapy is not an option for us because her mom won’t approve it. Thank you. (From the USA)

I have been with my husband for 5 years and my step daughter is now 11 years old. A couple years ago, she started to act out and become disrespectful and lazy. We tried everything to discipline and teach her how to be kind and empathetic, but no improvement was made. At this time, we spoke to her mom and step dad and all agreed she should be tested for a disability. Turns out she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), but her mom refuses to consider medication or alternative holistic approaches to helping in this matter.We put an end to that quickly and explained that we will not tolerate her jealousy or manipulative tactics to separate us. She has used manipulation techniques like this for a couple years and started by playing the mom and dad against each other. I have done nothing but accept her into my life and have her become like a real daughter. About a year ago, her behavior started to change and she started displaying annoying and selfish behaviors that upset me greatly. She still expects her father to carry her up the stairs to put her to bed, massage her feet, snuggle with him on the couch, pick out her outfits and be in our bedroom without permission. I feel like she is challenging and competing with me.

3Magnification

My husband and I have been married close to 8 months, weeks prior to our marriage he started to slap me, hold me down, forced me to stay in the house, slap me if I don’t look him in the eyes when he’s talking his anger would last until he felt better. It would be about small things, small fights, things that should be an argument or a conversation and then it’s either better or worse, but he could never control his anger. I remember the day before our paper marriage we fought about something so small I cannot remember it, and I told him I was tired of how he treated me and I didn’t want to marry him. He then slapped me, screamed at me, got on top of me, forced me to stand up if he wanted or sit down if he wanted, forcibly put his hands over my mouth when I cried, and told me to shut up before anyone heard me. This was all in his mother’s home, and his brother and mother did nothing to stop it. Later I found out, his mother had anger problems as well, when she would get mad at her son she would scream, throw wooden boxes at his head and give him a concussion, use any object to hurt him not caring what it was the only thing she didn’t use were knives.

It would be about small things, small fights, things that should be an argument or a conversation and then it’s either better or worse, but he could never control his anger.

6Should statements

From the U.S: I’m a 14 year old girl. So basically 4 months ago at the end of the school year my parents got mad at me because my grades where dropping. So they took my phone and went through it and found one particularly conversation with someone that I was talking to and I was telling them about a bunch of stuff. I was talking crap about my mom and my stepdad and how I kissed a girl and other stuff that I’m ashamed to admit.

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: My mom has no easy childhood by no means but for some reason she’s been acting strange lately. It’s almost as if she’s trying to be a kid again as weird as that sounds. I’m just really worried about her everyday something new is wrong and I get that people age. She’s 38 and this problem started about a year ago.

It’s almost as if she’s trying to be a kid again as weird as that sounds. I’m just really worried about her everyday something new is wrong and I get that people age.

10Labeling

From Australia: For a long time I’ve found it difficult to make friends despite trying really hard (joining many things where I have ongoing contact with the same people, local things, initiating further contact etc). Work is a difficult option given commuting distance and hierarchies I’m at the bottom of.

2No Distortion

My mother has always had a strong attachment to my oldest brother and been rather detached and resentful of us other kids. She didn’t talk to us or show us physical affection or spend much time with us. she was never there and when she was it still felt like she was absent. She admitted to me that she wished she had only had my oldest brother and not my middle brother or I. she has chosen men and relationships over her children and let us all go and be raised by someone else one time or another throughout our lives. She never asks my oldest brother for anything or blames him for anything. She asks my other brother for things and demands or manipulates things from me. she wishes that my brothers talked to her more and hates that I talk to her so much. when my middle brother almost died she only visited him once in the hospital and helped as little as possible when he went home. she and I used to talk about everything and see each other everyday. I have a broken hip, my own fault, when I told her she cried and said she would come to the hospital immediately then talked only about her relationship for 45 minutes and didn’t come. From then on she only visited when asked for help and only if she had another excuse to be in the area. she only called once of her own accord 3 weeks after surgery, she talked about herself the entire time, begrudgingly asked how I was, then asked if I was still using a walker to get around. I was going to work for her this summer which would have made her life a lot easier for her to see her boyfriend, when I told her that I was going to be laid up for quite a while she offered no sympathy or even acknowledgement and changed the subject back to herself and got off the phone. That was 3 weeks ago and haven’t heard from her since. Sorry its long and broken up by facts-but any insights on what’s going on or what I should do would really help. I would like to resolve this lifelong issue with her and move on with my life.

2No Distortion

So I met my best friends in the world when I started college. I finally found a group of people I clicked with and it was all great last year. This year however, every single one of them has switched on me. They ignore me when they see me and walk right past me which is immature and hurtful. The worst part of it is my best friend also hates me now. I met her to reconcile but it led nowhere, and she didn’t really tell me what I did to cause this change.

I met her to reconcile but it led nowhere, and she didn’t really tell me what I did to cause this change.

5Personalization

Thank you for reading my question. I recently had a disagreement with some family members after watching an interesting psychological movie. The following question is not specifically personal to me, but just a general wondering (to settle the argument). Is it possible for a person to be a psychopath and a sociopath, or are those two things mutually exclusive? I have tried researching on my own, but haven’t found a clear answer.

2No Distortion

I’m 23 years old, I’m finishing my studies, and I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years. My parents never wanted to know him cause he isn’t the looking good type, that they imagined to me (cause he is bald, without status and money). However he’s a nice independent man (he got his own house and car) with 28 years old, I love him, he is very honest and kind to me. He always treated me well and despite my parent’s attempts to separate us.

2No Distortion

Hello. I’ve been in a relationship for over a year now. We were friends for 2 years before that. When we were 4-5 months he said he had to tell me something important. He said that he was concerned about me and that I should take care of myself more because I always left me last. It hurt me so much (because I’ve had low self-esteem for a while and been insecure) that I got mad at him that day. After days our relationship changed a bit. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. We felt a bit disconnected and awkward with each other and it hurt for both of us. Then my insecurities and anxiety got worse and worse. I accused him of cheating a few times and I was totally convinced that he was cheating. I felt betrayed, lonely, boring and flat to him. I started to feel like I didn’t love him, but I knew I did. I also lost trust on everything. I questioned our relationship everyday and it gave me anxiety. I was to nervous to see him or talk to him. I hated it.

I felt betrayed, lonely, boring and flat to him. I questioned our relationship everyday and it gave me anxiety.

10Labeling

I think I might have a social anxiety disorder. I get embarrassed very easily and of mostly everything. I cannot speak in front of an audience, when I have to in school I usually just don’t do it. I’ve been told I take criticism way too personally (by my mom). I get nausea when something I’m nervous about is going to happen (e.g. when I’m going to gym class because I’m not very athletic and I don’t like people watching me attempting to play a sport). I don’t like crowds, when I’m offered to go to the mall, or a restaurant, or even a relative’s house (that I’m not close to), I usually decline. I’m aware that I’m a very shy person, and should work on my confident issues. But I don’t though if I’m being dramatic about this. I’m scared to talk to my mom about it because I don’t want her to think that I’m being dramatic. And I don’t know why I’m scared because she’s a very good mother, and I’ve trusted her with a lot of secrets. One time she commented on me never wanting to go out with the family and said that I never want to spend time with them. But I do want to spend time with them, I think maybe I’m scared.

I’m aware that I’m a very shy person, and should work on my confident issues. I’m scared to talk to my mom about it because I don’t want her to think that I’m being dramatic.

6Should statements

From the U.S.: I’ve suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I had a rough childhood which included sexual and mental abuse. I’ve always coped well, for the most part. About 5 years ago I started having severe body aches and pains along with chronic fatigue. This also started about the same time I gained employment with an employer that put a great amount of stress on me. I’ve since been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, a paralyzed vocal cord, 100% loss of smell, Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD (diagnosed in my early 30’s).

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: So I will often either when bored or stressed (from anxiety) or just for fun  head out on a walk (or home) and there is a couple things i might do. Either play a trailer and pretend like im the director and people are reacting to it while i play out the characters in the trailer or play a rap song and be the rapper or me (and I often have a little backstory when I do). Or alot of times I might just pretend I’m me singing or playing guitar and being amazing at it while family members or school mates are watching.

2No Distortion

My brother has been married 14 years and is considering divorce. He has been communicating with his wife about his feelings. She is a very jealous type of woman who has not allowed him to have female friends. He has two daughters ages 10 and 11 and recently the girls have been getting more involved questioning him about his female friendships. Recently he took both girls to a concert & his female friend came along. The youngest shared that she told her mom about the concert and mom said “She did not know” his friend would be there. The youngest then told her Dad that it is not right for him to be at a concert with his female friend and not her mom. Another time recently the oldest daughter called him to ask “Dad where are you and who are you with?” … I don’t know if this is normal behavior for young girls but I am concerned that they are adopting these behaviors from their Mom. She also shares certain things with the girls (since the marriage is having problems) like “I didn’t know your Dad’s female friend would be there” for example. Is this something we should be concerned about? I worry the girls are being brought into their parents’ marriage issues and in the process are being taught to interrogate their Dad and worry about boundaries with him and friends. (From the USA)

She is a very jealous type of woman who has not allowed him to have female friends.

10Labeling

Your opinion? My partner is contradictory and critical, but at the same time gets very upset if any of her ideas or decisions are questioned in any way. Examples: She will ridicule any book I am reading unless it is one recommended by her. If it is not a subject that interests her, especially technical books, she will describe the book as childish rubbish. The same with any TV program or film. She is an aspirational vegetarian. If I have meat and she has vegetarian she has spent the evening — while I am eating — asking how I could eat dead rotting flesh, how do I feel having caused the death of  a living being just for my gratification etc. The following week she will buy, cook and eat chicken and say how tasty it is. Sex. This has now ceased. Very often she has not only rejected me, but says that I am disgusting for wanting sex, “Don’t come near me. Don’t you dare touch me”etc — almost hysterical. A couple of days later she will start crying and ask why don’t I make love to her any more, don’t I care for her? She will deny that she ever said that she did not want me near her. I thought that being nice to her would gain her trust and we would get closer. But it seems to have the opposite reaction. The nicer I am, the more awkward, contradictory and demanding she becomes. She seems to need to push me until we have a disagreement. My partner’s mother was English and her father Portuguese and she was brought up in Portugal. Her parents broke up when she was 10 and she ended up with her mother who did not spend much time with her as she had to work hard. With her job her mother was given a scholarship for her daughter to go to the local international school. My partner spent years there but never got on as her first language was not English. She felt very left out, not coming from a rich family. My partner has two older brothers and mentions her poor relationship with them when she was a child. They continually told her she was stupid and ugly. If she wore a new dress they would tease her mercilessly. I think this has had a big impact. (age 65, from United Kingdom)

2No Distortion