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10usv6v

I live with my brother. I do all the grocery shopping and cook dinner every night. I’m under no obligation to do so, but he’s my brother and I love him and I love cooking and enjoy when other people like my meals. I average $300 every 2 weeks on groceries and I don’t complain about the cost. It’s food and it’s a necessity. I figure I would’ve spent the same cost if it was just me, so it was never a concern. I regularly buy him treats that I know he enjoys and keep dinner hearty and filling. He went out to the store and asked me if I needed anything. I asked if he could get me some chips and cookies. They were $20 in total, not the cheapest, I know. But I figure I spend 10x that and some cookies and chips wouldn’t be too much to ask for, right? He texted and told me they were $20 total. I feel like he brought up the cost for a reason. I offered to pay him back, and he said no that it was fine. But why bring up the cost unless it’s an issue? I went to the ATM this morning and got his $20 and gave them to him. He kept insisting I didn’t need to, but I just felt so embarrassed that he thought I was mooching off of him, even though I pay for a lot of our expenses. Anyway… long story short. It was on my mind and I got distracted and crashed into a car and when I came home I was even more upset. I left to get something and he left $200 on my desk. I gave them back and said I didn’t need his $200. It’s more the fact he said something about $20, when I’ve never said anything about all the money I’ve spent. It’s the principle, not the money. AITA?Edit: I was the asshole. Reading too much into a situation when he was likely just shocked at the price of food since he doesn’t buy it.

AITA for asking for $20 chips and cookies?

YTA

10uzyrv

Me and my best friend have known each other since elementary. I introduced her to my other best friend I known for 10 years. They hit it off pretty quick even though it was never intended to be romantic shes dated some of my guy friends before and I’ve fell out with them because of it. It got to the point when I liked a guy she took off with him. While she was with my boy best friend she cheated on him with an ex. They stopped talking and instead of him getting mad he agreed to be friends. After her and the ex fell out she started talking to him again. They were on and off for the next three years. When he decided enough was enough he cut her off and still was friends with me. We didnt stop Talking since we were friends way before me and her and was closer. His birthday was coming up and we went out after I felt guilty for hanging out with him and actually having fun. That would be the first time we hung out in a while. I told her when she was at my house she was kinda upset when I told her she wasn’t invited since they didnt get along. Am I the asshole

AITA for not telling my best friend I still hang out with her ex bsf/ex bf

NTA

10uvmid

I (37F) have two kids. We will call the oldest one John and he is 15. The youngest one is just 3 and will be 4 this year. We will call him George. A year ago my son was diagnosed with a level 3 autism. I've tried hard to help him out since I'm the only one who knows how to handle him. I rarely take him around my mother's side of the family because I feel like one of my brother's hates him. And, having autism and being hard of hearing, he just has a difficult time. When I do take him around, I let him be him and stim so that he can relax more. The one brother I have trouble with, we will call him Tom (30), accused me of being insensitive to my own sons needs the other day! Tom got mad that I call my son Stimmy Timmy instead of his name George. Tom accused me of being a bad parent and not taking my son's issues seriously. He also tried to tell me it isnt a good thing to let my boy stim, telling me it meant he was overstimulated. I told him he's wrong, he doesn't know. He doesn't have autism. My son does. I know better than Tom does and it infuriates me that he said something like this to me. When I confronted Tom about this (It's not like George knows, he is hard of hearing anyways and doesn't respond well to spoken words), my other sibling defended Tom. It got to the point that our parents joined in and started calling me a bad parent. I feel insane because they all jumped on my back. It's just a nickname. AITA?

AITA for calling my kid a nickname?

YTA

10tssg7

I (f23) am a masters student, and privately tutor a few kids in maths as a side hustle.One of the kids I tutor, Zoe (f15), already had pretty decent grades before I started tutoring her. I normally tutor Zoe for around 3 hours a week in three 1 hour sessions after school at the library.Yesterday I was scheduled to tutor Zoe after school. When she got to our meeting spot she was crying her heart out. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she found her cat dead that morning before school. I told Zoe we could do our session another day and that she should go home and try to relax. Zoe agreed and I drove her home and dropped her off.Zoe's parents are now irritated and said that I should've asked for their permission before taking thei daughter home and cancelling the tutoring session.I told them I wouldn't charge them for the session that we missed but they said that's not the point, and that I should've contacted them before making the decision to cancel the session and take Zoe home. They said I was overstepping.They said they wouldn't fire me "this time" because my tutoring has gotten Zoe's grades up and my rate is reasonable but they told me to think about what I did.I really don't think it's that serious and I think they're overreacting when I was just trying to be compassionate to their daughter. Was I the asshole?Edit: okay so a few people were wondering, and Zoe would normally walk home from the library (it's around a 15 minute walk and she has a key to the house), but I just felt bad and decided to drive her home.

AITA for cancelling a private tutoring session without contacting the student's parents for their permission?

NTA

10tkhvq

I (19F) just moved into an apartment with two other girls, Kayla and Maya (both 21F). Two days ago, I had my boyfriend Liam (20M) over, and we were hanging out between classes. We lost track of time while talking and realized that if we didn’t leave in the next couple of minutes that I’d be late for my afternoon class. I rushed to the bathroom to pee, and a moment later my boyfriend knocked on the door and told me to hurry up because he had to go too. We really didn’t have much time left and I still needed to brush my teeth and check my hair and makeup, and I wasn’t going to do that with him pissing in the bathroom. My mind raced and the only thing I could think of was to tell Liam to use my roommate Kayla’s bathroom, as her bedroom door is right across from mine and I know she doesn’t lock her door.Liam went and used Kayla’s bathroom, and five minutes later we were out the door. I barely made it to class on time, but I made it, so I relaxed and things went on as normal. However, when I got out of class, I had some missed texts from my roommate group chat. I opened it to see Kayla asking if anyone used her bathroom while she was at work. Maya had said no, that she’d been gone since 9 and wouldn’t be back until after a thing with her sorority sisters. I responded saying I didn’t use it, thinking there was no way she really knew that someone had been in there while she was out. I put my phone away and headed to the food court to grab something for dinner, then went back home, only to find Kayla on the couch watching tv. I said hi and just headed straight for my room, but before I could get my door unlocked Kayla asked “Why was Liam in my bathroom?” I asked her what she meant, and she told me she found ashes in the sink and a cigarette butt in the trash. Liam is the only one of use or our partners that actively smokes cigarettes. I figured at that point I was caught and admitted that I told him to use her bathroom when we were in a rush to leave. She told me that’s no excuse and reminded me that not only did we “violate her privacy” but that Maya and her have already asked that Liam not smoke inside the apartment. None of them like the smell of cigarettes and Kayla especially dislikes them because she grew up with a chain smoking father. I tried to apologize again and asked why it was such a big deal, because she never locks her door so what exactly does she expect? She told me she shouldn’t have to tell me as an adult to not go into her bedroom without permission, then got up and went into her room, slamming it and locking the door. I called Liam upset about it and told him what happened and he said Kayla was overreacting. I think so too, but she hasn’t spoken to me since and has been ignoring me. Maya has talked to me noticeably less as well. I’m wondering if I messed up here or if they’re just overreacting for real.EDIT- For clarification since everyone focusing on the smoking thing, the apartment is not smoke free. The entire apartment complex is smoke friendly. Maya and Kayla have no problem with Liam smoking on the patio or outside and disposing his cigarettes in my trash or the kitchen trash, but it’s in the 30s outside so I let him smoke in my bedroom because he shouldn’t have to be freezing cold while he smokes. It’s in my room so it’s nbd. And Kayla has let me use her bathroom once before so of course I didn’t think letting Liam do it would blow up like this. Also we have individual leases so they can’t “kick me off the lease.” They can’t kick me out for letting Liam smoke.EDIT 2– OKAY!! I REALIZE I WAS THE ASSHOLE!! I wasn’t trying to argue in the comments I was just clarifying things. I’m going to try and apologize to Kayla again. I just want to get past this.EDIT 3- I literally never said I’ve only lived with Kayla and Amaya for two days. I moved in a week before the semester began. I’ve lived here for a month

AITA For Telling My Boyfriend To Use My Roommate’s Bathroom?

YTA

10v38tw

I work in an extracurricular organization in university and was given some org funds to use on some things. I ended up getting everything done with the money that they gave me and had quite a bit left over. I'm not the Treasurer of the org so I tried to hand it over to the Treasurer, but they refused and said that I should just "keep it with me for now." And on a separate occasion, I also told the President of the org that I wanted to surrender the funds, and they also said to keep it with me. So I just kept it with me in my personal closet at home. Fast forward a couple months later, our house was broken into and the money that I kept was stolen. I want to let them know that I feel that they are liable too because first: it wasn't my job to keep it in the first place, and second: I told them that I wanted to surrender it back to the Treasurer on two separate occasions. I think I am partially liable too because the money was lost under me, but I really don't feel like I should be paying for all of it out of my pocket as they are suggesting.

AITA for wanting my colleagues to pay for the money I lost?

YTA

10v381r

So last night me (17m) and my brother (15m) were fucking about, as you do, when I decided to pretend to crack pepper in his hair which he laughed off. Little did I know that he decided to crack pepper in my bed. I found this out later when I was looking for my vape juice ( don't judge, using a vape to successfully quit nicotine). I thaught he took it when he put pepper in my bed (turns out he didn't). I asked him where it was but of course he didn't know so I decided to put pepper in his bed (dickhead move I know) but when I did this he physically attacked me while screaming at me to get out of his room while blocking me in. When I did finally make it out of his room he sprinted, pepper in hand, to my room so I attacked him (I gave him ample opportunity to leave). I also threw his glasses onto the floor so I wouldn't accidentally crush them. He then ran out of my room with my vape and threw it on the ground. This is the point my mum intervened. I decided that I was going to my dad's house so I started packing and at some point my brother decided to kick the window on a door I was stood on the other side of which shattered the window. I made it to my dad's house and know that I was an ass holding for doing some of what I did but I was to know I I'm the ass hole for insisting that my brother goes to therapy before I talk to him again. So AITA?

AITA for wanting by brother to go to therapy before I talk to him

ESH

10uzt3t

I (NB25) have had a tumultuous relationship with my father (56) since I was in high school. He used to have a pretty bad alcohol problem and did some pretty scary things when I was younger. He doesn't drink like that anymore, and so we've sort of rebuilt our relationship, mostly for the sake of my mom (56) who I am close to.My dad works as an expat in the Middle East and gets $19k from the company to leave the country for 20 days (it's required for his work visa). They sometimes offer to take me and my sibling, and this year they decided to go to Vietnam/Cambodia/Thailand. I've always wanted to go, so I said yes while my sibling said no. I feel very lucky to get to go on these trips with them covering the expenses, and I make sure to take care of the bags/finding restaurants/helping find things to do in addition to saying thank you and paying for dinner sometimes to show my appreciation.Onto the incident: About a week into our trip, we decide to go to a local restaurant for dinner in Siem Reap. The place is pretty much dead, with a few people coming in and out and 2 people working in the actual restaurant. While we were waiting, my dad picked up my phone and tried to get into it (without asking, mind you). When he couldn't get in because he doesn't know my passcode, he handed it to me and told me to start playing music out loud. I said no, this is a public space and I don't want to disturb other people (like the people working there) by playing music out loud. He got mad and accused me of contradicting everything he says/asks me to do. I can only think of 2 other times on this trip I told him no: when he told me to try intermittent fasting and when he told me to try being an expat teacher abroad to make more money. Honestly, these are things I have no interest in, and I don't feel like I'm just saying no to say no, but I'd appreciate some outside perspectives. I don't get along with him very well already, and now he's avoiding talking to me and won't look me in the eye. So, AITA?Tldr: dad told me to play music out loud in a public restaurant and I said no, now he’s mad and there’s a lot of tension.Edit: I feel a bit silly rereading the post and looking at comments - I think I just felt like I must have done something wrong given how upset he was. Thanks for the validation kind strangers! I’ll make sure to continue to assert my boundaries around him, and I think this is my last trip with both my mom and dad. Not worth feeling as shitty as I do when he reacts that way.

AITA for refusing to play music out loud in a public restaurant?

NTA

10uskv3

To keep it short but sweet.When my brother does anything that doesn’t involve the gym, he is incredibly lazy.I have had to put up with it my whole life. He keeps expecting people to DO stuff for him like figure out his homework that he procrastinates to the last second.And while you may think that doesn’t sound so bad….last week he asked me for help on a SYLLABUS QUIZ! A QUIZ THATS LITERALLY ON THE SYLLABUS FOR HIS CLASS! THE SYLLABUS HE HAS!I wish I was kidding but im just so done because he’s asking for my help again as if im in his fucking classes to know what his teachers want from him. And i know he put no effort to seeing what the assignment was and that im just gonna waste my own time for his laziness. It’s been like this for YEARS.So I told him if I look at his assignment and it’s something easy he could’ve done himself to find another person whose time to wasteGrown ass man who cant’t do jack shit himself needs to figure it out and I guess i mostly wanted to vent.EDIT: A few more things I should mention is most of this is enabled by my parents and them forcing me to help him because they refuse to assess him for ADHD because “mental health does not exist in this family.”So I enabled it because my parents would not let me do otherwise.I also moved out to establish my own life and they still call me to stretch myself to be at their beck and call. My brother has just been an extra special pain in my side with it all.

AITA for telling my(25M) brother(23M) I’m not his tutor and he needs to figure out his college hw himself?

NTA

10umdca

Context: I (16 M) am a junior mechanic at a Porsche Specialist, it is pretty obvious that we work/service and repair Porsches only. One day last month, this woman drives in unexpectedly (you are supposed to book before showing up) in a 2006 Toyota MR2. Me and the rest of the ground staff were confused but me being on break, I confront her, saying she cannot get her car serviced here as it is not a Porsche and we do not have the parts. Immediately, she screams back “I KNOW THE BOSS SO YOU BETTER FIX MY CAR” confused, I decide to call the Boss to confirm, obviously he denies knowing this person. After this call I politely ask the woman to leave the premises. She continues to scream at both me and the senior mechanics before eventually leaving after I threaten to call the police. A few days later I get shouted at by my boss because I denied a ‘well paying customer’ which was total bs. Even though all the witnesses defended me, my pay was slighty cut (I was only being paid £7.50 and hour anyway). So am I the a## hole?

AITA for refusing to work on a car that our shop doesn’t supply for?

NTA

10v35d5

I (17M) have a very strict teacher named Ms. Jones. I also have a weird bladder condition, not exactly sure what it is because I haven’t been to a doctor in 2-3 years, where my bladder seems to be a lot smaller as I constantly have to pee. Ms Jones doesn’t really like me constantly having to get up during almost every class she has had to have to go pee.Today I was in class with her where I had once again asked if I could go pee, to which she responds no, and that I take too many bathroom breaks. I wait a few minutes for her to wrap up what she’s doing and ask again, which she once again says no. Since I don’t want to ruin my clothes and I desperately needed to pee, I just decided to take a leak in her trashcan. I got written up for this and my parents had to be called, and I’ve been grounded for doing this. AITA?

AITA for peeing in my teachers trashcan after she wouldn’t let me use the bathroom during class?

NTA

10um8q8

AITA for wanting my boyfriend who works 65+ hours a week to help more around the house?My boyfriend (M, 37) is a truck driver. He works M-F and leaves for work anytime between 2-4 AM. He gets home between 6-8 PM. He works between 65-75 hours a week.I (F, 37) work from home in Sales Support as a supervisor M-F 8 AM-5 PM. I have no babysitter so I take care of our 6 month old daughter while I work. I also waitress Saturdays from 4 PM-11 PM. I like a tidy house and try to keep it up but he doesn’t participate. When I talked to him about it at first, he started asking me if I needed anything before he went to bed. I was usually putting our daughter down for bed in her room, so I wasn’t always sure what needed to be done (dishes, wipe counters, trash, etc.) I made a nightly list on a whiteboard in the kitchen for him to check so he didn’t have to ask me. He follows it inconsistently but has gotten better.Weekends are a battle. I know he’s tired and wants to just relax on his days off. I do too. But while he sits on the couch watching tv, I am taking care of our daughter, doing laundry, cleaning, taking care of our dogs, making lists of things to do, groceries to buy, etc. There are things around the house I’ve asked him to do (clean the garage and basement, install or fix things, etc.) and he has yet to do them.I am now back in therapy because I feel like my expectations are too high, or I’m doing something wrong.

AITA for expecting my blue collar boyfriend to do more?

NAH

10uo7xh

I drive a 2009 Ford Focus that I bought from my older sister seven or eight years ago after I got my license. I only paid a little over $1,000 for it at the time, but it needed extensive repairs and maintenance to pass inspection, things like a new brake system and gas tank. I used to have a spare key, but at some point it went missing and after literal years of searching I've just accepted that it's gone, a point that will be relevant in a minute.​So this morning I get a call from my dad informing me that my sister (previous owner of the car) needs to borrow my car for the week as hers is broken down, and since he assumed I wouldn't mind he told her she could take it. Well, I *do* mind. She is not a gentle driver, and I didn't feel like being without my car for an entire week, so I asked him to call her back and explain that she'd need to find another way to get to work. However, an hour later my sister comes into my bedroom and wakes me up demanding my car keys. I'm incredibly annoyed, but since she's already here and I work from home anyway, I just give her the keys.​A few minute later she's back, and tells me she needs my spare key. I ask why, and she tells me that **she broke my key off in the ignition**. I say that there is no spare, it's been gone for years, but she insists that I'm lying and wants to come into my bedroom to search for it. I refuse, this is my personal space and the key's not even here. She stands in my doorway berating me for being unreliable when she needs me, and after some time I get frustrated and tell her to "Just go."​A little while later, I come downstairs and my sister is still here. My car is idling in the driveway, and I ask her if she plans to pay for my new key. She gives me a look, and tells me that it's MY responsibility to have a spare, not hers, and she doesn't plan on paying for anything except gas. This leads to a huge argument and she leaves in my car. I don't know how she plans to turn it off, or restart it if she succeeds.​I ask my dad how he could let her do this, and he tells me that since the car is in his name, it's technically his in the first place so I have no say in this, despite me being the one to have bought it, fuel it, and maintain it. To provide context on a previous point, I live with my dad but not for free. I pay most of the utilities and we go halfway on groceries. Being a self employed artist during these times, money's very tight and I don't have room in my budget to replace the ignition if that's what's needed, which from the way she described things might be the case. She knows this, but just chalked it up to me being irresponsible with my money.​I've since cooled down and thought it over. While I'm definitely mad over this, she does need a car for her job as a teacher, and telling her no just because of the way she treated her old car years ago was probably unfair. And, she's right, it *is* my responsibility to have a spare key. So, tell me. AITA?

AITA for not having a spare key?

NTA

10tfn48

Me (38) and my sister (32) were pregnant around the same time. Her baby was due a month after mine. Unfortunately, my sister and BIL were in a tragic accident a few months ago, and she lost the baby.My baby shower was last week. It was just at my house with a few friends and relatives. I did tell my sister I was having the baby shower and she's welcome to attend if she wishes, but I completely understand if she can't. She said thanks, and didn't end up coming.Afterwards I posted photos on social media. Only two, one with all my friends and one with me, my husband and 3 yo. I had the caption "Growing our beautiful family".My sister sent me a text about the photos and caption. I replied I'm sorry, but I told her before I was having the baby shower. She said having it is fine but got upset at me 'flaunting' it. Again, I said sorry she feels this way but I do want to share my news too.Mom saw my post, said I should be more understanding of my sister's situation.My husband thinks I'm fine, and it's literally just a photo.AITA?

AITA for posting pictures of my baby shower on social media?

YTA

10ukpo7

So, I (17M) am the only friend in my friend group that isn't white (I am black). My friends make some racist jokes occasionally, but I don't mind it (usually just basketball-related jokes). I try to be a chill friend and not take the jokes too seriously. But then one day, one of my friends (17M) makes a joke about slaves, looks at me and laughs. My friends got mad at him, saying he took it too far. He says sorry and we move on.The next time we meet, he makes another racist joke ("What kind of car does he (me) have? - a stolen car"). My friends have the same reaction as last time and he says sorry, again. I get a bit annoyed as well but I act all chill. The racist guy starts making offensive jokes (targeted at me)more and more often (he laughs until his face turns red after making a joke). I just get more angrier and angrier everytime. One day, he takes it a step too far and starts making racist jokes about my family. That was the last straw. I decided to hit back. His dad left him when he was 3 (this was perfect to get back at him). I start making jokes about his dad a lot. The racist guy gets pissed, he says I'm not a good friend or person for making jokes like that. That was the last time we talked to each other.I think I shouldn't have made those jokes. I feel like I am at fault and should have told the racist guy to stop before it reached this stage. My friends disagree though. They said he deserved it.So, AITA?

AITA for making jokes about my friend's dad?

NTA

10uth1c

Few months ago, me, my gf and my mom are on line for Rise of the Resistance. We get through the part where you board the star destroyer and into the interrogation area where the staff member dressed up as an imperial officer separates you into parties/gives your seat assignments.In front of us is this plump, sixties something white guy with full set of hair, rosy cheeks, and his wife. My family has been calling him Augustus, or we can alternatively use Newt here.Anyway. Worker lady gives out color assignments and then there are strips of that color on the floor and that’s where you go stand and wait. So she gets to Augustus and says two on orange. He doesn’t move. She says orange again. Then she goes “I can only say it so many times”. Still nothing So I’m already annoyed because the ride had broken down and we were waiting two hours at that point so I yell and point to where he’s supposed to go, and then go “it’s not that hard, Jesus”. That got him moving.The worker lady goes I am responsible for them, shut your mouth. Then she whispers thank you. If you’ve never been on rise of resistance, go. The cast doesn’t break character for ANYTHING Anyway, we ended up in the same cart as Augustus, and his wife gave me a dirty look and called me an asshole. Then they couldn’t figure out how to buckle their seatbelts and messed up the ride timing. AITA for yelling at Augustus?

AITA for yelling at Augustus on line

YTA

10uwxvv

My brother's girlfriend has been fuming about my birthday party for an entire week, but I feel I did nothing wrong. January 30th was my 27th birthday, and on the 29th we decided to celebrate by going to an escape room with just my family, and of course my brother's (25m) girlfriend. (38f) I had been planning this for the entire month because as anyone who has ever been to one knows, escape rooms are EXPENSIVE, with a discount this one was $150, normally it would have been $300 and most of the time I live paycheck to paycheck. Because I started planning this a month in advance, I sent reminders to my brother several times leading up to booking the room because he can be a tinge forgetful and I really wanted to have all my siblings there if possible to make a good memory. All in all I probably asked if he and his gf could make it 4-5 times before purchasing the Groupon to get the room, and every time I told him it would be on the 29th and around noon. The only concern he voiced at the time was potentially not being able to get off of work, which I totally get, even with notice you can't control if your boss is a dick. They ask if i can do it for 6pm or later but there are no available time slots and the ticket is nonrefundable, so I book the only available room late in the afternoon. Well, about three days before the 29th, he and his gf start giving my mom all of these reasons why they can't make it, none of which seem legitimate, and I feel hurt, but understand. I already have the Groupon at this point and have booked the room, but it is up to 8 people, and almost everyone else can come, so I'm not worried about it. The day of, we pick up my brother because he is able to come after all and they only have one car, but his gf decided to work an estate sale that day so she cant make it. We went, had a good time, and then came home and did a super tiny party where I opened my birthday gifts and we ate cake, played board games, etc. all the normal family get together stuff. Halfway through the get together my brother gets a call, goes outside, and comes back in clearly irritated. We didn't pry, but at the time I assumed that it was because of gf, which I later learned was right. Well, we brushed it off and for the rest of the day we laughed, had fun, and at the end of the day we sent my brother home with a slice of cake for her and a slice of cake for her daughter.A few days ago I found out that my intuition was right, and that she was mad my brother came to the escape room and to celebrate my birthday with the family. She claims that she felt excluded, but I told my brother several times in advance hoping that they would both be able to make it. Now she is refusing to participate in any family functions and has been rude to my mother, whom she once got along with really well. AITA for celebrating my birthday as planned and picking up my brother so that he could make it even though his gf decided to work that day?

AITA birthday Edition

NTA

10umdrd

Myself and a friend created a joint instagram account for reading and sharing our love of books back in the summer of 2021. We both used to post on it fairly regularly but then I got more busy with work and uni so started posting on it less. Also slowly drifted apart with said friend due to issues within the friendship group. I still used to post on the account occasionally but she definitely was using it more. The account was made under my email, and phone number. Anyway, I still check up on the account about every week, even though I haven’t posted on it recently. I have noticed changes going on to the bio and certain emojis being changed, but today I noticed the username has changed, to just her name instead of both our names. Upon noticing that she has cut me out of the username, I have changed the password. Even though the account was made using my details, due to it being a joint account in the beginning, am I the asshole for changing the password without telling her?

AITA for changing a joint instagram accounts password?

ESH

10uuwcl

I (27f) have always been an anxious driver after a traumatic car accident. With time and therapy it’s gotten better to the point where I can actually drive, but I still struggle when my partner (25NB) is in the car. That’s because they’re also anxious when I drive and tend to scream or yell “LOOK OUT” but not tell me what I need to look out for (usually there’s nothing there) which freaks me out more. I’ve asked them to stop or at least tell me where to look, but they say that they can’t because it’s an automatic reaction. They say it’s because I’m not careful and don’t look where I need to be looking but they’re also critical of my driving if I drive too cautiously (like if I wait to change lanes until I’m sure I have enough space they nag at me about taking too long). At best they sit in the car obviously tense and anxious holding on for dear life, which just rubs off on me and freaks me out too. I don’t get anxious anymore when I’m driving by myself, it’s only when they’re in the car with me.I think that since me driving makes both me and them anxious they should be the one to do the driving when we go somewhere together. Me driving us is hurting my progress and our relationship. But whenever we’re going to go somewhere together they ask me to drive because they don’t want to do it. I’ve started refusing when they ask me and given them my reasoning, but they’re mad at me and think I’m being unreasonable and unfair for making them do all the driving when I could just get better at driving and fix the problem that way. They think I’m making them carry my weight in the relationship by not driving us anywhere.

AITA for making my partner do all the driving?

NTA

10uz9x7

I (17F) am currently a senior in HS and I had recently gotten an honor roll award at my school for my last semester. I had a 3.6 gpa and I was pretty proud of it. Today, I'm relaxing in bed and looking over homework when my brother (20) comes in to say hi and he sees my honor roll certificate laying on my bed. At first he says congrats until he sees that my certificate says 3.5 gpa and above and then he starts saying stuff like "what is this?" "A 3.5? Why would you get a 3.5 that's mid, you could've gotten a 4.0 instead" and that just set me off. He keeps going and says that it's "a disgrace to our heritage" and I heard enough and told him to get out. I didn't want to hear it anymore. He keeps saying more shit but I tell him to get the fuck out and that I didn't want to hear it. Then he asks ME why I had an attitude and says that I was being rude. So I tell him that I felt insulted and angry that he just disrespected me and the hard work that I put in and that a 3.5 gpa isn't bad at all. He says a 3.5 isn't bad, but a 4.0 would've been better and by that point I just wanted him to leave. After that he quickly apologized for it and said he was making a joke but I took it too seriously. It didn't feel or sound like a joke to me so I told him that and asked him to leave again. He left me alone but he said something along the lines of that I over reacted and now I feel confused. Did I really take it too seriously? Was I the asshole to tell him to leave? I just felt so shitty. I did what I could and I put in effort and I showed up to school even when I didn't want to and there he was putting down everything just cause I was 0.4 points off. What's so wrong with a 3.5? I don't get it. And the first he says after greeting me is that what I got was mediocre and it just broke me a little.

AITA for telling my brother to get out of my room?

NTA

10ut9p7

I (19 F) have a cousin G (17 F) and our common bff (18F) M. It was M's birthday a few days back and we were just hanging out, G and M suggested to do a prank call to a guy who has a crush on G (see my last post for details) but the guy had both of their numbers so they decided i should be the one to talk to him using my phone. At first i was reluctant but they said it will be fun so we called he didn't pick it up both of them then proceeded to call him for 7 or 8 time and he still didn't pick up. After like 20 min he called and i answered and told him that i from his school and that i like him(my friends suggested to say this)he hanged up on me. My friend M knows him personally and said if he texts or calls again just have a little chat and then block him.Later that day when i was alone he called me and i continued the prank after the call i informed both my friends and we laughed a bit and M said to just chat a bit and then say i got caught talking to a guy and my parents are upset and then block him. Later on he did text me bit used my real name and i figured he knew from the start that it was me so i tried to clear it up saying that it was just me and M and we were bored thats why we tried to prank you and i apologized to him. I didn't tell him about G as he might think she wanted to talk as but was shy abt it(she is ignoring him for weeks). When i told both my friends abt it they got mad at me saying how i should have picked up his call or answered his messages and how i messed up everything and that now M is embarrassed to even talk to him. I tried to tell them that he had my number and insta id and i just couldn't block him when he knew it was me without trying to clear it up that it was a prank(he said he thought it was an emergency as he knew it was me from the first call).We haven't been talked yesterday my G told me to text M bcz she is mad at me and she also told me M cleared it up with the guy and told him it was a prank. But i kinda feel hurt by all this and also feel like an a-hole. What should i do ? Should i text her and apologize?

AITA for trying clear up a messed up prank?

YTA

10trzyi

I(23F) have been with my boyfriend “Mark”(24M) for nearly two years and we’re thinking in moving in together and currently in the process of discussing what that would look like for us. Now I’m a fairly messy person and I don’t need to have our place look like a model home, but Mark’s dog, “Rex”(2.5) is making me consider ending the relationship entirely unless something changes. It seems that every other time I go to Mark’s place Rex always either pees, poops, or pukes somewhere in the house. Mark also allows Rex to crawl around under the sheets, which I think is nasty considering poop often gets stuck in his fur. Last night Rex ended up pooping on the bed, then immediately crawling under the sheets, and leaving a huge shit streak all over everything while we were in it and I lost it. I told Mark that it’s nasty he continues to let this happen and he needs to be more on top of letting his dog out. He said it only happens because he “gets excited” and that he lets him out enough. I suggested using bells by the door and teaching Rex to tap them when he needs to go out but he insists those are unnecessary. By that point I had enough and gave Mark and ultimatum: I would not consider moving in with him until Rex is completely house trained or he finds a new home for him. Mark said I was being unreasonable and mean by making him choose between me and his dog. Was I out of line for this? Neither my mom or I think so. Info: The dog is 2.5 years and we’ve been long distance until about 3 months ago so I didn’t know about this until recently. Mark claims he takes Rex out enough but I can’t know how often as we don’t live together. Rex is NOT a bad dog otherwise. This is his only issue. TL;DR: I made my boyfriend choose between me or his dog that he lets pee, poop, and puke everywhere

AITA for telling my boyfriend I won’t move in with him unless he rehomes his dog?

NTA

10uqjhe

My (21) boyfriend (22) of two years doesn’t like my friends. A year ago, two of them picked me and him up from the airport after break. My boyfriend’s mom had just passed away suddenly of cancer, and he had buzzed his head for her. It was a noticeable change in haircut, and my friends complimented it when they picked us up. He got upset and when we talked later he said that they had known his mom had cancer and should have thought about why he shaved his head before they said anything. He and I had posted about her illness, and one of them had donated to the family. He said that since they donated/presumably read the story about what was going on with her that they should have known and not made the comments. He never posted about his mom losing her hair or about him shaving it nor had I mentioned it to my friends. He has shaved his head before in a similar style, so it wasn’t unusual. Plus, not everyone with cancer loses their hair (my stepmom had stage four, went through intensive treatment, and kept her hair). I think he had unrealistic expectations for my friends to connect these dots. My friends knew that his mom had been diagnosed with cancer and passed away, but no details. Their words hurt him and I understand why— I never said that he shouldn’t have felt hurt. He thinks my friends were rude. I don’t think they were— they were being friendly and gave him a compliment. They had no idea that the haircut meant so much to him. My friends always say hi and are polite when they interact with him. They try to make small talk and start conversations. He tends to avoid eye contact even with the friends who he ‘likes’/haven’t done anything to annoy him and won’t speak to them unless they directly address him. He rarely says more than ‘hello’ and won’t greet them unless they greet him first. He is noticeably withdrawn and they (and I) find it rude. He told me it’s fine if I spend more time with my friends than him because they provide things for me that he can’t. IMO he missed the point— it’s not about time delegation, it’s that I want him and them to at least get along with each other, even if they aren’t best friends. My friends don’t like him much because he refuses to interact with them above the bare minimum, but they are friendly to him for me. They invite him to hang out and play games with them. I feel hurt that he won’t do the same. He says he doesn’t have the bandwidth. I understand that he is busy and has had a massively difficult year. I don’t feel that I’m asking a lot, and I feel like he is telling me that my happiness isn’t a big priority. I hate having to constantly choose whether to spend time with my friends or my boyfriend. I can never combine the two groups of people who I care most about, and I really wish he would make more of an effort. I told him this, but he feels that he is justified in disliking them. AITA for trying to make him spend more time with them/be more polite?

AITA for making my boyfriend be nicer to my friends?

NTA

10uea95

Warning English is not my first language so there could be mistakes. I (F18) got into an argument with my grandma and my aunt because I didn’t allow them to cut my hair. Today my aunt and cousin’s were here to visit me my parents and my grandma and to take my grandma back home because she doesn’t live in the country. She stayed like a month with us before she went home. I recently cut my hair really short and the reaction was positive from everyone besides my aunt. My grandma sent her a picture of my new look and as soon as she saw it she started texting me hair cuts she wants me to have and they are so totally not my style and she knows that. I already had a short haircut before and she said the same thing last time like “ oh you should do this or that with your hair I can even cut it for you, it would look a lot better than right now” to be honest I have very curly hair and it’s hard to really style it so I decided to cut it short. It’s a lot easier for me that way. My aunt herself has also short hair but hers is straight and she always has the same haircut. So my aunt sent me Fotos of hair styles for “black people hair”like Afros and like that I don’t know how to describe it another way no offence. The haircut would not work with my hair because it’s not the same hair structure. So she asked me if she could cut my hair that way and I didn’t want to be impolite after she asked me soo many times so I said yes even if I didn’t want to. When the time came for the cut I told her I don’t want her to do it anymore and my grandma got really upset about that, she said I couldn’t change my mind all the time and tried to make me feel like I was a bad person and I ruined her last day here with us. My aunt also got upset but said she didn’t really care and left the room. My grandma wouldn’t let the theme slide and still tried to manipulate me in getting it even after I told her why I didn’t want it and that I know that she is trying to manipulate me in to doing it. Then my father came into the room and I told him I don’t want to cut my hair, he said that it was ok and it’s my choice and left the room again. Skipping to when they left. I was in my room and my aunt and grandma came in to say goodbye just as they tried to leave my aunt made comments like I should stop being so stubborn and that I should change my character into being a nicer person and that I was selfish for not letting her cut my hair. I just slammed my door shut and didn’t say goodbye to her only to my grandma and cousin. I feel like I had the right to refuse but I also feel bad so am I the asshole?A little info I forgot to mention is that my aunt is not a hairdresser or anything like that she knows as much as I do about it and that’s not much. Also she already cut my hair once when I was like 5 years old and it looked terrible but she also was drunk when she did it.

AITA for not allowing my aunt to cut my hair

NTA

10uwiue

This happened in high school, but one day a classmate brought in treats for the class. I was infuriated because there was another event going on at the same time to memorialize the dead. It was personal for me because I lost a friend a year prior and it felt really disrespectful to me. The classmate ended up crying but I apologized the nest day.Later at graduation I was class speaker and mentioned what happened at the end of my speech. AITA?Edit: They went to go get treats when the memorial was happening. It was only about a 20 minute memorial.

AITA for scolding my classmate's actions and bringing it up again at graduation?

YTA

10tddte

This happened last weekend but I'm still having arguments over this with my friend so thought I'd come here to get some outside perspective and opinions. So last Saturday one of my coworkers and good friends was throwing a birthday party for her daughter and she invited me. I asked her what I should get her daughter and she said that I should get a karaoke machine. But a few days later when I was hanging out with my younger sister who is around the same age as my friends daughter I told her about that karaoke machine and she basically laughed at me and said that no one actually wants that and she said I should just message her on IG and ask her what she wants instead of getting something she's gonna hate or not use. So that's what I did. She ended up sending me some links to some clothes and bags she liked and said that I should just choose one. They were all fairly expensive ones so I just chose the cheapest bag on her list which was still over 300 Euros (320 dollars for the Americans). Saturday comes and I end up giving her the bag and my friend saw that I didn't get the gift she told me to and asked me about it. So I explained everything and she was very upset with me saying that I shouldn't have messaged her daughter and that I should have just gotten the karaoke machine. We had a small argument and even her daughter told her that she never wanted a karaoke machine but my friend still insisted I was a "jerk" for going behind her back. She didn't talk to me at all throughout the party and even now a week later she constantly brings it up. So was AITA?EDIT: a few people have misunderstood our relationship, we're not just coworkers. We've known each other for 7 years and we're good friends outside of work too.EDIT 2: I've already mentioned this in one of my comments but I still get this question so yes I'm a man

AITA for getting a 15yr old a gift she wanted instead of the one her mom wanted?

NTA

10un8xc

I(38m) and my (53f)girlfriend just had to get our car repaired and it came out to 1800$. I have sent 500$ so far for a down payment and am working on getting more sent to her. However her mom and son both owe me money so I asked her if they could help cover it. She says I am an asshole for asking because her mom is poor and her son just started working and is helping out with bills. So to add some backstory for clarity. In November of 2019 my girlfriends son's cat had to be taken to the emergency vet because of crystals in it's urine, so the vet comes and says for the surgery and everything the bill will come out to 1200$ or we could pay around 200$ and have it put to sleep. So after he (17m at the time) begs me and promises he will get a job and pay me back for the surgery I offer to put the money up front to save his cat. The first week the cat is home he refuses to feed it the food from the vet because "the cat doesn't like it" and starts feeding it the original food. About 2 months later the cat dies from urine crystals and he claims since the cat died he doesn't owe me any money and went almost 2 years without a job. So fast forward to Christmas day 2020 and my girlfriends mom (MIL) tells us she got scammed out out of 5k$ in a car wrap scam from her internet boyfriend, so while dealing with that she borrows our car to go to Wendy's for my girlfriends son and ends up running a stop sign and Tbones another car. The accident is ruled her fault and the car has over 8k$ worth of damage. The good news is our car had full coverage insurance and a 1000$ deductible which I had pay for. The bad news is she refused to pay for the deductible or reduce the rent I was paying staying there. I moved out in July 2022 and my girlfriend is in the process of moving down now, she drives the car between KY and PA about once a month going back and forth. It's our only transportation, I pay for full coverage insurance on it and normal inspections / wear and tear etc. So between the two I got stuck with over 2200$ in bills that they refused to help out. Now that I am asking them to cover 1200$ between them, they say I am an ass because her mom is old and her son just started work back in August and I shouldn't be asking them because "they can't pay it"

AITA for asking my girlfriends family to help with car repairs?

NTA

10uo2le

We've never had a close relationship for as long as I can remember. See, I'm a product of an unplanned teenage pregnancy and so I never really saw my mother around because of her aspirations to graduate highschool and then go onto college (she's a very smart woman academically). I can understand that she never had the chance to live out her teenage years due to me being born. I can understand why she might act the way she acts towards me because of her own estranged relationship with her mother. I can also understand the way she acts because of her mental illnesses and trauma. But, it is still so damaging to me.Recently, we had gotten into a huge argument about how irresponsible I am, how immature I am, how much I degrade her, how I'm sloppy, ungrateful and lazy after I came home late at 12am one time from playing D&D with some close friends, even though I warned her I was going to be late due to my friend's mother coming home late to take all of us (my friends) home that night. She called me all those things and threatened to disconnect me from my social life and get rid of my freedom. I completely lost it towards her and started going off on her about how I'm trying the hardest that I am, how she's not being fair, and how manipulative and controlling she is. She's never here anymore, emotionally and physically. She's always going straight to the bar right when she goes home or going on dates with men at the last minute. It's getting to the point where I'm taking care of my 3 year old and 5 year old brothers whilst balancing the rest of my life -- including making dinner, bathing them, and more. In addition, I've dealt with her instability for years as she refuses to settle down. I have moved 14 different times-- in three different states and one different country, four different highschools too. I have given up everything multiple times just to please her. In the the past year, I have moved back from Italy to the states, a death for my grandfather, my other grandfather being diagnosed with prostate cancer and apparently having a secret love child who's only two years younger than me, my mother and ex-stepdad divorcing, being ripped apart from my girlfriend when I moved to the states, and dealing with my own severe depression and anxiety. I don't know what else to give. I'm tired.I've been in gifted programs all my academic career, 4.0 GPA all through, have almost 400k in college scholarships, never ever gotten in serious trouble, take care of my 3 and 5 year old brothers, cook dinner, active in three communities, and clean the entire house. I don't under what I have left to offer so at this point I'm questioning whether I'm the bad person and should just suck it up. I'm confused because she only treats me like this but will treat every other young woman so differently. AITA for calling her toxic and wanting to get away from her

AITA for calling my mother controlling

NTA

10uq1j0

I'm 20 years old I currently live in Florida. I have an old friend I met in 7th grade will call him RJ, while we are not particularly super close or anything I've known him for years, we never really hung out or anything but we are cool no issues which each other, sometimes used to play cod zombies on ps4, and we talk from time to time checking on each other. He's given me a few rides to places when I didn't have a car to get around. Anyway my friend a few months ago got a job offer in Seattle, I don't know exactly what he does but involves airplanes/jets and such and he's making like $5-6k a month. He has already moved to Seattle as he got the offer months ago and and it has been going well. Before he left and even still now every once and a while he will ask me to move there and be his roommate. I currently live with my parents, sister, and niece. I don't see the need for me to move away and pay a lot extra for rent and other expenses when I don't have any issue where I am and saving the extra money which allows me to put time/money into trying to start the businesses I want to grow. As well as I just dont want to deal with the hassle of moving my stuff from one coast to another, Its not like he needs me to be his roommate, he already has one. Before he even left he had an agreement with this other older guy who also got the same job and they would be rooming together, so it makes no sense to me as to why he would need me as a roommate as well. Especially when they only have a 2 bedroom. Why would I want to not have my own room or privacy.While he wasn't like starting a problem over it or making it a huge deal he was like mad about it for a little bit which I don't understand why so maybe this is the wrong thread just curious if me rejecting the offer makes me an asshole or not. You wouldn't want to have the living room either and move away when you're comfortable where you are right?

AITA My friend wants me to move to Seattle and be his roommate

NTA

10unyq3

TW for faking disorders and severe mental health. TLDR: Friend copied identity and faked disability so hard our entire friendship group cut them off.Just to be clear there is no case of “you don’t know what they were going through” here. I’ve known this person since we were both young teenagers. We are now in our 20’s. I (m 23) met F in our early teams during a mental health crisis. F identified as a trans male and I was very supportive of them, they changed their name and identity a couple of times during our initial friendship period and I thought nothing of it. Sure, they’re young and figuring out their identity. During the time I initially spent with them we were both very mentally unwell, but I did notice some patterns in that whatever it was that I was struggling with they also suddenly also struggled with. And these weren’t trivial things, they were real diagnosed issues that required inpatient psychiatric care such as psychosis, severe insomnia and severe trauma. I lost contact with them during my late teens during an incredibly difficult period of my life which ultimately led me to be paralysed from the waist down in a failed attempt at taking my life. The past 4 years I have worked on myself. Hard. Attended intensive therapy, got fit and active adapting to my new life as a full time wheelchair user and have built a very solid support network around me of friends who also struggle with disability or mental health issues but are very self aware and a pleasure to be around. I’m very proud of the life that I have built for myself, I still struggle with my trauma but my adoptive parents and those around me are incredible, and I have been stable for a good few years, requiring no medication or admissions. I should also add that shortly after the “accident” I came out myself as transgender, and have been on hormones for the past 3 years, I live my life as a male and am indistinguishable to a cis man to those that don’t know me well. It was during this time, mid pandemic that F reentered my life. Identifying as their birth name and female. I had heard about them briefly throughout our years of not speaking, usually news that they had changed their identity again. F told me they were going through a rough patch and given my stability and own past struggles, I decided to introduce them to my friendship group, include them in all online social activities, helping them out financially and even finding them new living accommodation after they told me they were unhappy in theirs. Throughout this time there were no major incidents, apart from them constantly changing their entire personality to directly mirror my own except their gender and name changed almost on a weekly basis. I bought this up in therapy a couple of times noticing the inconsistency however felt empathetic towards them, it must be difficult having such an unstable sense of self right? The real issues started when the pandemic rules loosened and we all started hanging out in person. The first thing that raised huge red flags was that within a day of me introducing my friend with Tourette’s, F started ticcing. Weird little squeaks and head jerks that they claimed they had suffered with since childhood. It was overlooked until they met another friend who has a lot of difficulties with malnutrition and dizziness due to having deformities in their digestive tract. Over the next couple of weeks “F” was unable to eat. Claiming that they were suddenly having such severe gastro issues that their hair was falling out, they were passing out from low iron and suffering from malnutrition. This raised all of our eyebrows for two reasons. The timescale for such severe symptoms, and the fact that F is obese, regularly eats very well around us and was refusing to see a doctor. Over the following months F became a sick melodramatic caricature of my entire friendship groups disabilities and personalities combined. Claiming Autism, Tourette’s, anemia, gastroparesis, heart conditions, chronic pain, neurological issues and a shopping list of severe mental health issues that didn’t add up. Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, paranoia, insomnia, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia… the list goes on. Anything any of us showed an interest in became an obsession of theirs. Mention a band and the next week they have their merchandise, video game? Posters all over their wall, someone dyed their hair? Them too. Except none of these severe disabilities impacted their life somehow. They held down their job, attended social gatherings, went out clubbing, and any time they joined one of our regular group calls we would be told how awfully they were suffering and then they would leave. By this time they’re well into the 20’s of pronoun and name changes. For those of us who are transgender this alone felt like a huge insult. Especially the rage attacks if they were misgendered. Even just suggesting that they shouldn’t be so rigid in identity until they had figured it out led to rage. Our approach to this behaviour was to not react, change our names for them without asking questions and every time they bought up a new health issue advising them to see a doctor or therapist. None of us feel the need to constantly talk about our disabilities, we have a great range of personalities and interests to talk about.This all came to a head when I was meeting a few of our friendship group for coffee. One of these friends (L) I had met in physiotherapist rehab, she has cerebral palsy and uses a cane to walk. F asks to tag along and I agree against best judgement. We were discussing university options of a friend when L had to leave, as she stood up she dropped her cane and whilst I steadied her so she didn’t fall L asked F if she could pick up her cane. Other than myself and F, the two others we were with were also either paralysed or severely disabled and wheelchair bound. L accidentally used a name F had changed a couple of weeks ago. F flew into a rage, claiming they would faint if they tried to pick up the cane, calling us transphobic and ableist and stating that if we couldn’t respect the fact that they were disabled in their own way we didn’t deserve them. Before walking out of the coffee shop. As we all froze in bewilderment and confusion a kind lady came and picked up L’s cane and we awkwardly decided to call it a day and go home. I reached out to F and their response was that they couldn’t control their behaviour as they were in some kind of episode. I spoke to my friend group the next day and they said they only tolerated F because I did, they made them all uncomfortable and the put their worries aside because they felt inspired by my compassion and tolerance. We collectively decided to cut contact with F and now only see vague aimed social media posts calling us toxic and abusive. L was so shaken by the behaviour they are now in therapy due to trust issues.AITA?

AITA For Kicking A Faker Out Of My Friendship Group?

NTA

10uscl3

Back here again with another AITA. So, long story short, my nana doesn't have much longer with us on earth. My cousin who owns her house promised my nana that she wouldn't be unfair to my cousin who lives there. Well, now my cousin is kicking him out with, what he though, nowhere to go. But my mother and I have decided to go ahead and take him and my brother in for a short term solution. A week or two ago I had written this angry, manic infused letter to the cousin who owns the home and today I posted it. It pretty much outs my cousin for her broken promise, which my entire family takes promises seriously, and outs her for leaving an autistic child (my brother) and my cousin who grew up in the home, without water for almost 2 months and refusing to send anyone out there to help. My aunt Church took my nanas debit card (which was for rent, food for my nanas dog, food for the boys, utilities, etc) and my nanas car keys which got my cousin fired from his job since he couldn't make it to work on time from walking to it. I posted it because it wasn't fair to my cousin that he could have been completely homeless if it weren't for my mom and I. And I posted it because everyone would do it to us if it were us in this case. But now I'm being told I need to take it down because it will ruin my cousins reputation as an outstanding citizen of the city. And it'll ruin her name. It'll ruin this, ruin that. That nobody would really care where the boys ended up since we took care of it. I felt really good about posting it until now since being called an asshole and being told that nobody really cares. But idk.. maybe I'm just overthinking what I thought was right? I mean, they'd do it to us in a heart beat with no hesitation. It took me 2 weeks to post it..Edit because someone reminded me: my female cousin is kicking my male cousin out of the house because he cut his arm climbing under the house to fix the water pipes that she has been refusing to get fixed. It brought as she said, "too much attention to the house" because of the ambulanceEdit #2: my cousin didn't legally evict him. She didn't give him a 30 day notice (which you legally have to do where I am) and told him he needed to get out of the home before she has someone come and move him.

AITA: made a public post

NTA

10uyil1

I very recently wrote another post which has a similar theme about using other people's things. I found it helpful to see other's opinions on things so I'm making another post.I bought a really shitty nail varnish that I used and wanted to take off so I asked to use my roommates nail varnish remover. I didn't take note of how much was originally there but when I returned it there was a good amount left. The next day I'm talking to a mutual friend who said apparently my roommate was very upset that I had used a lot of their nail varnish remover and had said some nasty stuff about me. I didn't really take an issue with this and was actually kinda pissed at myself for not being more careful with other people's thing so I bought them another one, although it didn't feel great that she was saying these things about me instead of speaking to me about it. When I gave it to her she asked me how I knew she was upset about it and I told her that I had spoken with said friend and she got angry saying we shouldn't have been talking behind her back. I swear nothing nasty was said about my roommate by either of us and we barely even talked about the issue for more than 15 seconds before talking about something else. I told her this but she said next time I should stay out of her business and what she talks about with her friends and left out of the room. I get where she's coming from, I essentially was gossiping with mutual friends about something that she clearly didn't want me to know about and I probably put her in an awkward situation when I showed up with a bottle of nail remover out of the blue but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. (Ironic considering my last post, I know)AITA

AITA for replacing my roommates nail varnish

NTA

10v22iw

I am a dentist currently working 10 to 4 (unpaid internship of 3 months)I have been living at my aunt's for a month now. My parents house is 2 hours from the city where my job is at. So my father and uncle discussed and decided that it would be best for me to live at their house for 3 months instead of getting a new PG/ Rental apartment which will cost a lot for single person and the effort needed to move all furniture or other stuff might not be worth it.The decision to not pay for it or costs of various stuff was not discussed with me, it was between my father and uncle. I accepted it because it would be further rude to offer money after they have already told that it's fine.Now the main part is about chores which I feel guilty about which I am not helping out in. I still do try but there are limits1. Food My aunt usually cooks but I help out for dinner as I like cooking as well and sometimes cook as well. But can't help out in morning and aunt usually prepares tiffin for me and I am less of a concern as 2 of her kids (17 M and 14 F) live with us who are picky.2. Laundry/clothesWhen I leave in the morning my last days clothes which I left in basket are already washed and we don't have washing machine so hand washing is used, sometimes maid(2$/hour) comes to it, some times my aunt does it. I am not skilled for it. 3. CleaningAgain when I leave for work at 9 and return at 5 the house has already been cleaned and it never had been bought up. Maybe maid does it.The main thing which my aunt asked me to do 2 days ago and I refused upfront was "Diva bati" ( hindu prayer ritual), it usually takes 5 minutes, it is done twice a day in the house as a form of routine where you are supposed to light the candle and do the prayers/ritual.I have never directly told/discussed in house or with my parents/family that I am atheist. I am very confident that it will lead to a bad reaction as we are very orthodox.Before this there were times when some big ritual were held bi annually, my mother would me to sit for ritual even though I tried to make excuses so here at aunts house I wanted to draw the line from the beginning.But I still feel guilty since I am living for free and am very grateful to them.FYI + I ocassionally buy groceries, I do ask if they need help but nothing comes up from their end, also my uncle doesn't live with us so it's just me, aunt and 2 younger siblings/cousins who are in school.I also try help them study when I can.My aunt is a stay at home house wife but is trying to find work from home jobs and has a side thing going on as an insurance agent.P.S for some who might recommend to be open about atheism, I brought this up once 5 years ago to my uncle casually when we were in car on highway infront of his friends and I got a 2 hours lecture about how great god is and how amazing our religion is. I don't want a repeat is all.TL.DR I live for free at my aunt's but refuse to do prayer ritual (routine twice a day) because I am atheist but they don't know I am atheist.

AITA for not helping out in a house I (25M) am living for free(food included) ?

NAH

10ujp7e

Let me elaborate here. I'm 21 and my sister is 19 turning 20 this year. Me and my friend Jay have been planning to move out together and we've been saving up money. We got a rough date of when we wanna move which will be the end of March. My parents have been planning go move to another city at the Start April, which is mostly the reason why I'm moving. I want to stay in the city I live in and they've moved to too many cities in my life time and this is where I'm putting my foot down and staying. My sister how ever is usually babied by them and they're staying for her schooling. So my dad got recent news that my sister's college course actually ends on June 8th and they wanna have her stay an extra month after that so they can print her out business cards and help her get a job. Which she needs, she hasn't had a job in her life. She can barely talk to people, she has severe mental issues and sometimes will run away. My dad HAULKED out at this news, absolutely furious that he has to stay an extra couple of months for her. Absolutely awfully furious. Throwing things like a literal toddler. He's a pretty toxic man. So their solution? Force me to have my sister move out with me when A) she doesn't have a job nor experience B) doesn't have any kind of income C) she's going back to live with our parents once she's done schoolEven if they do pay for her rent, I have to feed her. And if me and her get a 2 bedroom apartment...she's out in a couple of months and I'm stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment i can't afford. And I can't rely on Jay to move out with me at that point, I've already been pushing the moving date farther and farther. He told his parents the end of March. And if we all get a 3 bedroom we're still in the same crappy situation once she moves back down with my parents.. And I refuse to put out ads for a roommate (sketch as hell). Their leaving a pile of S**t on my door step so they can escape to another city sooner. I also can't Take care of her, sometimes she just runs away for no reason at all and she won't talk to anyone. I'm pretty sure she's on the spectrum tbh. I know I sound harsh but I feel like my parents are trying to manipulate my life still and throwing me under the bus with this. So...AITA?

AITA for not wanting my sister to move out with me to help her finish school?

NTA

10v1y1u

So, I (M18) had recently entered and left my first relationship (NB17). We dated for about two weeks before the relationship was cut off relatively suddenly, they had said they weren't ready for a relationship which while I was obviously upset by, I accepted the reasoning and was respectful about it. We were super close friends and stayed close friends despite the breakup. We had hung out a couple times after the breakup in which they were incredible close to me physically (not just in private). It had gotten to the point where our friends had to ask if we had gotten back together. After a hangout, I had asked them if they were still comfortable around me to make sure everything was ok, and they told me that I made them "extremely comfortable."Fast forward about half a month, us and our friend group had spent the day at our local mall. Note nothing bad had happened between us before the mall as we kept in regular contact (texting at least two hours a day). Throughout the day I was relatively close (no closer than I'd be with my other friends) to them mainly due to the fact they tend to get uncomfortable in group situations and they had established they were super comfortable with me. Also I tend to be physically close with my friends since we're all very close. Throughout the day I had asked them if they were comfortable and if they were ok, since they seemed to have some discomfort. I thought this was due to an access amount of caffeine that they had had earlier. They told me that "everything's fine" and that "I'm good." Near the end of the day I noticed they were being slightly distant from me in particular, so I backed off. I tend to struggle with social cues so I often need to ask if things are ok.The next day I had reached out to them asking if they were upset with me, they then lash out at me telling I harassed them and did "everything in my power" to make them uncomfortable and basically saying I'm a creep. I apologized for this immediately as the comfort of others is incredibly important to me, as well as explaining that I was trying to make sure they felt included. They insist my apology isn't enough and they don't want to see me ever again. Everyone I've talked to at the mall insists I wasn't doing anything particularly creepy. I do still feel very bad that I made them uncomfortable however I felt like they were very harsh towards me.After this I asked why they didn't tell me what was up when I asked them. The reason as to why they didn't communicate that I was making them uncomfortable with me is due to the fact they "didn't want to make a scene" and "just don't like dealing with things in public." I just feel like they're acting like its my fault I didn't know how they were feeling despite them very clearly establishing their comfort with me and not communicating any sort of discomfort when I had asked them. Everyone I've asked the situation about has sided with me however since they know me their opinions could easily be biased. AITA?

AITA for "harassing" my ex?

NTA

10v1vqv

I’d 40F been in a 18-month relationship with my ex 39M. I have 1 child 12F to his 3 22F, 18M and 16M. Since his divorce, he decided he didn’t want anyone to ever rely on him again.We’d had 3/4 near misses with contraception but agreed we didn’t want kids. Although he’s undiagnosed, we’re both relatively certain he’s on the spectrum (but won’t be tested) which leads him to make literal but illogical decisions i.e.- He didn’t add people he was “seeing” to his social media (including me) but had no qualms adding female gym friends- Because I always cooked, he never reciprocated because he didn’t “enjoy” it. When I pointed out that I ended up doing everything so he needed to treat me, his rationale for not doing so was (a) he liked my food better than eating out and (b) if we’d done something, like gone on holiday- where I paid for myself - that was my treat so negated him needing to treat me- He planned a Spanish trip for 3 months of his sabbatical and didn’t plan for me to visit him because he’d be in a hostel and I’m a hotel/luxe personWhen I found out I was pregnant he just went into daily tirades about how his kids were enough, he didn’t want the baby, wanted me to abort and didn’t once ask what I wanted. He also told me he found me less attractive because I was pregnant and didn’t find pregnant women attractive (wk4 - no weight gain). At this point, I decided to keep the baby and end our relationship. I thought since he wanted our relationship to continue (and the fact that the baby was an inevitability) he’d face reality. Nope. He spent any time we communicated during the pregnancy repeating he didn’t want the child, at which point I cut him off and told him I’d want nothing from him.With the baby now due, I told him in an emergency delivery situation and only as a backup, I’d probably reach out for some assistance to which he agreed. He then asked for a delivery update because he “cares” about me the baby and my daughter. He didn’t understand why I thought this was laughable at best and antagonistic at worst. I pointed out, since he’d not demonstrated he cared at all the past 8 months, he didn’t deserve any updates. At that point I felt I’d made a mistake reaching out to him as a backup since he appeared to be giving himself credit for “caring” despite doing less than the minimum in terms of being a decent human being. I then decided that despite saying I wanted nothing and not putting him on the birth certificate I’d seek child support. Mostly because I think he has no idea how far short of any tangible demonstration of care he’s actually giving, but also because I could do with the assistance and it’s the minimum legal requirement. NGL I was p!$$€d he appeared to have no concept of the fact that saying you care doesn’t absolve you of responsibility or 8 months of not having demonstrated that.

WIBTA if I seek child support from the father of my child after I agreed not to

NTA

10uvkqu

I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with a couple and a third woman. I thought it was a good setup, because the location is great. The roommates had jobs that would keep them out of the house for days at a time is how they sold me on it, (flight attendants) and I work remotely from home full time. They greatly overestimated how much they would be in the house and are constantly blasting music or their TV while I’m working. They can’t just close doors and no slam them even after trying to have a conversation about it. I work that 9-5 m-f while they work an average of 90 hours a month as flight attendants. They fly people into town with buddy passes to crash on the couch or with them for literally a week straight. The first conflict I had with them was me asking for them to clean my air fryer after use. They said they don’t ever clean their air fryer (the reason I eventually just bought my own.) They are big into the dj scene and brought friends over after at 3am and blasted music and sang until they passed out everywhere until 4am. Anyways the point of the complaints is I just decided these roommates are not people I would like to include in my life honestly. I just say hey to them when I see them in the kitchen or something but I don’t hang out with them or really say anything more than you’d say to someone on the street. I clean up after myself and tiptoe around since they wake up 2 hours later than me. I just do my best to not be in their way but I just don’t want hang out with them. Like is there a point in being so considerate to them to never please them anyways?

AITA for not hanging out with my roommates?

NTA

10v1v5h

English is not my native language, please forgive grammar issues.I, (31F) have a daughter. (11F) She had played in a chess tournament last Saturday and won first place.Earlier yesterday afternoon, my Daughter received a message from one her chess coachs telling her she'll compete in another tournament. The catch is, this tournament contains children who have private tutors and all that, while my Daughter doesn't.(We aren't rich, but we only have a small budget outside of the monthly expenses.)The way my Daughter learns is from videos on YouTube. And her Father (We are divorced.) Gives her tips here and there. So, since these children have a much higher chance then her, my Daughter has been practicing a lot, which of course, means she uses her phone a lot.Since she already uses her phone a lot, I told her that she could not use her phone too study chess, and will have to do that on the time scheduled that she can use her phone and not outside it. She got mad and told me that it was for chess. She also said taht if she didn't win, she would atleast like too have 2nd or 3rd place.I told her no, and she got mad and has been giving me the cold shoulder all day. She must have told her Father, who is now berating me through the phone. In my opinion, he's biased as he was also a competitive chess player, and I also don't understand why she can just take out her chess board and study as opposed too using the Internet.So, am I the asshole?ETA: My ex husband (Daughter's Father) lives States away.ETA:My daughter's eyesight is already awful do to her accesive use of devices.

AITA for not letting my Daughter study chess with her phone?

YTA

10urpsj

So lately I've been getting frustrated with a friend who I've known for a long time. We text and message each other almost every day, but whenever it comes to making plans, he never wants to do anything and acts like I'm making some kind of unreasonable imposition. For example, I'll ask, "Hey, do you want to go to xyz tonight?" and he'll complain that it's too far, or he's too tired (this is the most frequent reason). He also says he has no money, even though he has a six-figure job that he constantly brags about to me even though I'm currently unemployed; last month he said he didn't want to go out anywhere at all to save money. But the thing is, he joined this activity a little while ago and now is telling me that they're his "primary social group," and he goes to their events multiple times per week. It seems like he has all the time, energy, and money and the world for this hobby but none for me when I try and make plans like once a month.What bothers me too is that whenever I try and make plans, he doesn't definitively say no, but kind of strings me along and leaves me hanging before cancelling the day of. For example, I'll ask if he wants to go out somewhere and I'll get, "maybe," or "probably." He'll suggest a place, says it sounds good, but doesn't give a time, then a few hours or so before he cancels because he's too tired. So this weekend, I asked him and another friend (who is also flaky and does the same thing) if they wanted to do something. He said, "what do you mean by doing something," and said that he was too tired from his hobby to go anywhere but was down to hang out at someone's apartment. I say why don't you guys come over to my apartment, I can cook dinner and we can chill out. He reads it but doesn't respond. The next day, as I'm about to go to the grocery store, I ask if he's coming. He says no, he's too tired and tries to change the subject. So I said, "OK. I would've appreciated if you had just told me no yesterday instead of making it sound like you were coming." He did not respond to this and I have not messaged him since. I'm going to give him the cold shoulder until he comes to me with a response.Was I in the wrong for saying that to him in this situation? I should say that we actually are good friends, and that I don't actually think this is a situation where he is trying to get rid of me. I'm just really fed up with this pattern of disrespecting my time and by acting like plans with me are a burden on him.

AITA for giving my friend the silent treatment over this?

NTA

10uy20u

I (19F) live with my sister (24F) and my dad. Every year for my mom’s birthday we go to her gravestone and celebrate her by doing her favorite things. My sister always is a control freak about everything and when i try to help she either tells me to forget it or just neglects it and doesn’t use it. I usually get really mad but always control myself because i dont want to start a scene with my sister. My final blow was when she asked me to pick a music playlist, but like always, judged it and disregarded it. I got sick and told my dad that i was not going to the cemetery. He tried to convince me to reconsider but eventually caved in and told me i could stay home. My sister on the other hand blows up at me and calls me a selfish, inconsiderate brat. I told her shes a control freak and she was making the whole celeberation about herself and she should know that there are other people mourning our mom too. I left the house and sat in my car crying. I feel really guilty that i did not celebrate my mom with my family but i am mad at my sister for judging me and acting like i never cared for my mother. So, AITA for skipping my mom’s birthday?

AITA for skipping my late mom’s birthday?

NTA

10uxx9f

this should probably be would we be the asshole but anyways:i (f) am currently in high school, and our school trip is coming up in a few weeks. the room assignments arent set in stone, but here is the most likely scenario: me, n (f), a (f), and L (nb, he/they) will all be sharing a room. the issue lies with L’s girlfriend k(f). she is a year older which doesnt bother anyone (small school limited options) but is necessary for context. she is very possessive of L, very obnoxious, is the kind of person that makes their mental illnesses their entire personality, and talks in a very vulgar way about sx and drgs when the current conversation is completely different from that. needless to say, none of us like her and it is very clear that she is a bad influence on L (convincing him to steal his parents liquor, leaving hickeys to the point where he looked like he had chicken pox or hives or smth, etc)k and L are attached at the hip (not the problem just a bit more background. i do not want to sound jealous as that is not true) like you will never see one without the other, and they are very heavy on the pda to the point where its inappropriate. full on thigh grabbing and ear nibbling in the middle of class. a few teachers have reported it to the dean and they got a talking to but it did not really stop. they are also like this any time they see each other and throughout the entire lunch block. it makes everyone uncomfortable but we all ignore it. the problem is that we would like to establish a boundary with L that he cannot bring k to hang out in our room. if we are all there then k will be making us incredibly uncomfortable with her “interesting” conversation choices and intense pda and if we are not there then they will surely be using one of the beds to you know. (and its two to a bed so someone besides L would have to sleep there) we dont want to offend him or make him think we dislike k (even though we do) but at the same time it would really suck to have them all over each other in our shared living space. tldr: would we be the assholes for banning our friend from letting his gf (who makes us rly uncomfortable) hang out in our room during the school trip?edited for clarity

WIBTA for asking my roommate not to bring his gf to our room?

NTA

10tts53

I’m 19(M) and I went out for dinner with my girlfriend (18F), her best friend (22F) and one of her friends (19M). Prior to this evening, me and my gf’s best friend never really got on but always kept it mostly civil. The evening seemed fine and everyone was enjoying themselves, we had pizza and different wines and ciders. We all finished our food and we all finished our drinks except the best friend who had about a quarter of her wine glass left. It was already established we were not going to order any more, so I took it upon myself to order the bill from the waitress. The best friend then says she needs to go the toilet and my girlfriend goes with her. When they both come back, the best friend confronts me saying she thought that what I did was extremely rude, I responded saying that as w were not going to order more, I’d have liked to pay, and we simply could stay sitting and chatting (apparently something that she is not accustomed to). She denies any of my reasoning and goes on to say I can’t read social cues and went so far as to call me autistic. Despite this, I simply said sorry if she found what I did rude but also said that her bringing it up is what ruined the night and not me. She now refuses to apologise for both ruining the night and making a very crude comment and demands that I should be the one to apologise to which I have said I will not.AITA?

AITA for ordering the bill when somebody was not finished?

NTA

10ugnv9

I (27F) live in Honolulu, HI. My friends & I spent the evening around the Ward Avenue area. We parked at Dave & Buster’s while there was still literally over 100 available stalls in just that one parking level. We started the night at D&B for food & drinks, then went a across the street to a rage room that also offered a paint splatter room; we were COVERED in paint. By the end of the night, the parking lot was almost full & a lot of cars were waiting for parking & I had a really, really good stall by the walkway. My friends & I were taking care to cover my car seats w/ a blanket, jackets, towels or whatever we can find so the paint didn’t get on the seats. Well, there was a car waiting for the parking & he essentially blocked the entire way waiting for my stall. The lane is a one way, so a lot of the other cars had to try to maneuver around him. His passengers were impatient, got out, & cursed us out for taking too long. I told them: “We’re covered in paint & trying to cover my car seats. Can you wait?” Instead of helping, they flipped the finger & walked away. Well after we got in & my car was on, my phone had failed to connect w/ my car for CarPlay, so that took some time to sort too. After I finally came out of the stall & passed by the walkway, they cursed me out again & I saw there was half a row of empty stalls in the next row over. My friends said the guys could have been more patient since they wanted the stall, but this is kind of weighing on my mind. So, AITA?

AITA for taking a long time to get out of a hood stall?

NTA

10v1n9v

So here's the story, back in high school there was this girl I had huge crush on since 6th grade whom I'll refer as "Emily". She was one of the most popular students in our batch as well all boys like her. But there was this guy I knew who happens to be her classmate and guy best friend whom I will refer as "Rhys" (PS. he'll be important) . She and I started chatting a lot, then I was told by a friend of mine that a guy named Rhys is super close with Emily, Rhys and I tend to share some clubs together therefore we see each other like a lot and nice to everyone and even me. One time I talk to him where I jokingly ask him if he likes Emily since everyone tease them, he laughed and said "no" I shouldn't be worried, but Emily was dating someone else from another section. But then things got a little suspicious when they were seen together a lot, not to be stalker but it was weird considering she was dating someone else. It was only a matter of time on valentine's day the two of them seemingly close intimately. I was shocked at first maybe a little heartbroken and jealous I must admit, I know she and I weren't really a thing we just talk online but it still hurt seeing them. Confused, I asked Rhys again if their together (at this point I don't know what to believe). Once again he said NO cuz he knows I like her, so I asked my friend eventually that the she and the previous guy broke up for almost a year, realized Rhys may have lied to me the whole time. I don't know why but I felt obligated to be angry not they're together or jealousy, but its the fact he lied to me and got my hopes up for nothing. I felt betrayed he was so nice to me and I trusted him. So the next day I completely ignored him the entire day, until he talked to me after giving him the "cold shoulder". I had enough and confronted him about it and told him he didn't need to lie to me cuz I would've understand and be cool with it but he didn't give me chance, I left and called him a traitor. Everyone saw and heard us (of course they did). It wasn't long enough when I heard stories about us, where I the 3rd wheel droving the 2 lovers apart. Apparently I became the bad guy who's bitter at the two of them. Years go by rumors got worse when I was called the villain of their love story who's trying to steal the girl, but I wasn't trying to steal someone from anyone at all or ruin couples that's not me. I was only trying to know the truth, was it a bad thing?. Even I wasn't doing anything to them anymore I get judged and laughed at, labeled "the villain" while they're the "perfect couple". Long story short by the next school year I decided to leave them alone and focus on myself, then I heard the news (get this) Emily and Rhys BROKE UP, apparently she transfer another school and heard they been hot and cold for months about it. I felt relieved and joy after the rumor fiasco of how "I WAS RUINING THEIR LIVES" not, but part of me feels guilty it didn't worked out for them. SO AITA?

AITA for getting mad at someone over high school crush?

YTA

10uoqqr

So this may, I am supposed to be graduating with a double degree and my parents (along with my entire family) are pressuring me to walk. Now, I am the type of person that doesn't really like all of that. Personally, I would rather stay home and rest because Graduation is the day after my last final. I wanted to recoup before I started my residency the week after. I get that it's just a few hours of my time but I have said repeatedly over the last few years that I wasn't going to walk.My parents have not paid for my tuition at all. I have student load that I took out to do what I wanted to do. They even tried discouraging me from pursuing the field I'm currently in saying I wouldn't be able to handle it. To be fair, I did what they wanted for the first 2 semesters and switched to a major I found myself actually enjoying. They deny ever trying to talk me out of my field and instead proceed to tell anyone that will ask about me and my career. But even when I have assignments to do, they have no actual regard for it. I'm the only child so I get that they need help around the house and I make myself as available to them as I can. I have no personal life because of all this. Between school, assignments, hours at the hospital, and my entire family (I include my aunts, uncles, and cousins in that group) I barely have time to myself. I haven't even had time for a relationship since 2015. And I have no one I can complain to or vent to when I feel like I'm cracking because it turns into a whole "well you dont have to do it anymore." But as someone who was raised with family guilt, it's hard for me to do that.Back to the not wanting to walk aspect... This is the first time in literally FOREVER that I made a decision for myself based solely on what I want. Everyone is making it out to seem like I'm a disappointment for not doing it, that it's every parents wish and maybe it is but I'm not a parent. I am someone who for the last 15+ years have been doing everything for everyone. I started cooking for my parents when I was 14/15 and cleaning the whole house on a weekly basis since I was 16. The decision to not walk on graduation is a decision I made for myself completely and now my parents are making me feel like shit for finally doing something for myself. I don't treat myself to much. The last time I went out at all was early 2016. The last movie I saw in theaters without my family (younger cousins) was either Marley and me or the 6th HP movie. I've always been guilted into family vacations (purely to be with/take care of my younger cousins) but have never been on vacation by myself and I never asked for one either. I take everyone and their feelings into consideration before anything. This is the first time I've chosen to put myself first and I've been made to feel like shit.

AITA for not wanting to walk at my graduation?

NTA

10v1ldj

A good friend of mine (M/21) has been together with his girlfriend (F/20) for 4 years and moved in together 2 years ago. Since then she has cheated on him 2 times, and then always went to him and has "shown remorse", and he has forgiven her every time. I have long thought with a friend whether we should talk to him about this relationship, which we have done. Now he is upset because we told him our concerns. AITA?

AITA: I (M/20) talked to my Friend (M/21) about his Toxic GF, now he is mad at me, AITA?

NTA

10uopnk

This is a throwaway, just because my sibs follow me on Reddit. Every Sunday me and a some family get together at my parents house for dinner. I got Covid in late 2020 and developed acute smell distortion where most foods, esp veggies, taste and smell rotten. I’m a vegetarian with mostly a vegan diet so it’s a lot. For 20 years my conservative parents always made my vegetarianism an issue and they make anything Covid related a political issue. Though they believe me and they can clearly tell I’ve changed (hair loss, terrible brain fog), but they have a low tolerance for how pervasive it’s been in my life. Our family are pretty excellent cooks and we love to make food for each other, but I can’t partake in this like I used to. I never expect my parents to change what they are cooking to fit my diet, but I will often call ahead of time to see what’s for dinner so I can bring my own food or eat before I go. But after i got parosmia, there were times I’d have to leave the house because someone was cooking with an “unsafe” food. It gets so bad that biting in to the wrong thing would send me straight to the bathroom to throw up. The smell alone is other worldly. So I started to go to their house less and less, and when I did, I would have a strong reaction to the smell so I would have to go into another room alone. This started to get on their nerves. I would try to describe to them how horrific it smelled to me, but I can tell they’re over it so I started to stay home more and more and decline the invite if I couldn’t eat the food. I got excited today because my sister was making a meal that I could eat, but then she told me that she was putting peppers in it. I used to grow and eat peppers but now I can’t even be in the same room if someone cooks with it. She offered to make something else or take it out, but I know they are irritated that they would have to change plans so I’m staying home. My mom complains that I’ve become so picky, but I have to remind her that she would have a difficult time too if all she smelled was diarrhea and musty rotting flesh covered in gasoline. I can’t eat my favorite foods anymore. I ask what they are making for dinner to be prepared, so when I get there and she’s left out the fact that she has cooked with foods I can’t eat and I have a visceral reaction to it, she gets irritated and says she “can’t win with me” (subtext being my veggie diet). I can’t help I have parosmia. I don’t at all expect them to change what they cook, but after two years of this, it does make me sad that they don’t really consider me unless it’s my sister (also a vegetarian) is cooking or it’s my turn to cook. Am I the asshole?EDIT to add: I have seen doctors and they have more or less told me it’s likely permanent after a year and several therapies failed.

AITA for not attending family dinners because of my diet restrictions?

NTA

10upnqc

I (20F) have been with my fiancé (20M) for three years, his family don’t particularly like me, namely his dad. I’m not really sure why, I’ve tried my best to get them to like me, but it’s just never happened.My fiancé (I’ll call him Jack) proposed to me, with the promise we wouldn’t get married until we graduated university. We both agreed on this, mainly because we just can’t afford to get married.As we get closer to graduating, I’ve started looking into our wedding, mainly because it’s fun to plan. We both think it would be fun to get married in Vegas by an Elvis, as we’re huge Fallout: New Vegas fans and have always wanted to go to Vegas.This didn’t sit right with his family. A lot of them are disabled, including his mother (62) and can’t really go abroad. His dad (55) said he didn’t want me and Jack having a “tramp wedding” and refused to agree to the plan. I responded with the fact that it was our wedding and we could do whatever we wanted. Jack backed me up, saying basically the same things, in more colourful language.We went home after this, and I started to look into getting married in Vegas, then having a non legally binding ceremony in the UK after we came back. I ran this idea past Jack and he was enthusiastic, but when he asked what his brother (42) thought, he was horrified.His brother said we were essentially lying to his family and that it was cruel to force their whole family together when the ceremony meant nothing. I assumed everyone would be just happy to celebrate our love, and it didn’t really matter about them because, well, it’s our love and our lives. His phone is blowing up with messages from his family calling him selfish, and some nasty comments about me and “the bad path” i’ve taken him down.AITA?

AITA for planning a fake wedding?

NTA

10v1eiy

Okay guys longggg backstory i( m18) went on a school trip with a group of people. One of which was my ex from two years ago. I didn’t not know she was going until we were already on the bus and informed my girlfriend thereafter. My ex tried to start an argument with me and I didn’t entertain it and walked away. We were all in a group at an ice cream parlor and she proceeded to bash me and go into her not believing that she’s the problem. I ignored it. Her saying that made me realize things about my own self due to me not wanting to not be able to hold myself accountable and I told my girlfriend everything that happened and talked about how I never want to not be able to hold myself accountable in this relationship and she got upset. I asked if she was upset that me and my ex got into an argument but she’s upset that I didn’t walk away and that it took that argument to realize more things about accountability. I understand why she’s upset and I’m in the process of apologizing and I’m hoping I don’t lose my girlfriend over this.

AITA for staying in an argument

NAH

10tsspl

Our daughter is turning 16 in about a month. I have been saving for a while and have about 12,500 to buy her a car. So not a great car but enough of a car that it will get her where she needs to go and not be in the shop every other month. This is basically everything she needs but maybe not all the wants. My hope is this will last her through college.I was talking to my ex about this, and she was on board. She wanted to throw about 5k into the pot to get a better car. She said it's what she can afford. I think this stretches her budget and is all she can afford. I refused for a couple of reasons. The first being I want this to be my gift that I can control with daughter and don't wish to have a co-parent decision tree on this car.The other reason is I don't want her to think this is a her family car. She has 3 other kids to worry about that I do not mine. She 2 step kids and 1 with her new husband, the daughter in question is my only one. The step kids are twins and will be 16 fairly soon. I will never let one of the twins drive my car. I don't want my daughter to have to share the car. I also don't want my ex thinking she can chauffer her other kid around.My ex is now pissed at me. So AITA for refusing money on behalf of my daughter?

AITA for refusing money from my ex on my daughters behalf?

NTA

10upb26

I have a good friend i stay with when I visit my home town (we’ll call her Tina). I actually still pay rent for that apartment that we applied for together before I transferred to a different city. I currently live across the country, in NY, in a relative’s house, and Tina now lives in our shared apartment alone. She’s very sweet and caring, but, she’s very emotionally needy (can’t be alone long, needs reassurance a lot) and is very anxious (over thinks about everything so minor issues become huge deals), and, most annoyingly, seems to conform to everyone else’s opinions all the time. And, when I lived with her, I confessed to her that I struggled with an ED and was having a hard time recently with a relapse. She said she understood, and she had one too. That surprised me, because I never noticed that but, from that point on she would not eat and always talk about how she didn’t want to eat, and would buy the same groceries as me. She would say she wasn’t hungry and only buy diet foods. Naturally, this was extremely triggering to me, so I asked her if we could mutually protect each other by not doing diet-related behaviors or taking about not eating ext. she said she understood… but didn’t change her behavior at all…Well, flash forward to current day- even though I live in NY, she texts me every few weeks to tell me about a new horrendous illness she has. I don’t know why she texts me, since, there’s nothing I can do, and she asks me questions google knows better and me (creative) and her (nurse) should know better than me. (Example: should i be worried if I im so sick I can’t eat and I keep throwing up for like a week?)Most recently “sorry I haven’t texted recently, i had a black stool and was in the er because i was scared it was serious.. I haven’t eaten since”I can’t deal with this anymore! AMTA for thinking she’s inauthentic? Are my triggers my problem and I’m projecting? AITA if i ask her to stop messaging me about these things?

AITA if I don’t respond to friend’s constant cries for pity?

NTA

10ufnji

My siblings are over 20 years older than me. I used to draw and paint a lot as a child, I was creating realistic art since I was 5 and I won several prizes. Each time they came home, they would request a big drawing / painting, that I was working on, or that recently had won a prize. I always caved in, as I thought what I did had no value (my father destroyed some of my art or threw it away). In my teens, due to my situation at home, a physician tried to take my custody from my parents. My siblings decided that they would take care of me, so they wouldn’t have to do it. Long story short, I was back at my parents shortly after that, and I never saw that physician that cared about me. I finally moved out at 16 with a man who was 32. My family never contacted me. Due to depression and ptsd I stopped drawing. No one ever cared about how I was doing.Now as an adult I want those drawings back. I have none of my childhood drawings,they have all of them. I still create art, they have never acquired anything or helped me in any way. They are both affluent and have a lot of expensive art.None of them want to return me the drawings. They have even told me that if I valued them more than the relationship, that getting them back would mean a ‘good bye’.Am I the asshole for asking them back? I was a child under pressure when I gave them to them. They have never given me bday or Christmas presents, not even as a child,

AITA for asking my siblings to give back my childhood drawings.

NTA

10uqels

As young couple’s tend to be, we’re extremely broke. I’m trying to make ends meet by selling old stuff. One of these things is a decent quality pair of binoculars. There’s really no reason for her wanting these, they’re just taking up space. So would I be the asshole for telling her no?

AITA for wanting to sell my pair of binoculars my gf wants

INFO

10ukpup

So I have Two friends that I have gotten close with. One friend (Kelly 27f)was single when we met and extremely desperate in a sense to get married and start a family. She talked about it non stop. She met a guy(bf 32m) April 22 on a dating app and by June they were wanting to get married. He still lived with his parents and was refusing to hang with any of her friends. He dissapeared for a week and gambled $2k away. His parents had an intervention and wanted friend to be there. Centered the intervention around her. He is codependent on his family. Has to eat with them multiple times a week. Has to see both parents (divorced) daily. Tried moving in with Kelly in Aug22 and tried pressuring her into sex (she's a born again virgin and made it clear she wasn't doing it until they got married). Anyways he torments her in November about proposing and makes things miserable. He proposes and a month later they go on a trip together and while on the trip our other friend Olivia gets a text from him. I was texting her about something different and she said "he texted you too?" And then she told me he texted her wanting Addy and to keep it a secret. Obviously Olviia is going to tell Kelly. The next day he texts her back and says nvm it's for a friend. Kelly texts me hysterical and says he made the weekend terrible. I thought it wS about bf and I ask about it and she was like no my brother what do you mean bf ? I then come clean and she gets mad saying I have no business assuming stuff he was helping out a friend and I'm like Kelly please don't believe that he is lying. She then starts a group chat with me and Olivia asking us not to talk about bf to each other which we agreed to but at this point I am seriously worried about her. I tell her I see red flags and I'm worried and she gets mad and doesn't speak to me for a week. Now she wants me being in the wedding and I'll be there for her but I feel bad for even saying anything in the first place. Was I TA ?

AITA for expressing my feelings about my friends fiance?

NTA

10tl1zz

My fiancee and I are having a small intimate wedding at an exclusive location. The package we bought, which is pretty expensive but perfect for us, includes the bride & groom, maid of honor, best man and ten guests. There is a hard limit on ten guests. To have more than ten we must upgrade to the next tier of the package, which is insanely expensive and not what we want, or pay a fee, which is almost a third of what it would cost to upgrade anyway.Outside of the maid of honor and best man, our ten guests are: wife to be's parents and sister, two very close friends of ours, my dad, my three siblings and my uncle. My uncle isn't even bringing his wife. We don't have another slot for her, and while we get along great, they weren't married while I was growing up, so she's not someone it's important to me is present at my wedding and she totally gets it and is fine with it. My brother has been dating his boyfriend for two years, and they might even get engaged soon. My brother wants to bring him to the wedding, but there isn't a spot.We've been arguing about this for a while now. He says we should either not invite our two close friends (not an option, they are family to us) or my fiancee's sister because they have a contentious relationship anyway. Yeah, they have a weird relationship, but it's her *sister* and I can't uninvite *her* sister. Also, no one else is really going to have a "date" either. No one will be there with their spouses or partners (fiancee's parents are divorced). He would be the only one.His argument is that his boyfriend is part of our family, which I agree with, but so is our uncle's wife. She isn't coming either and gets it. He says it's different for them because not inviting his boyfriend feels like a rejection of him and their relationship and identity. I'm sorry it feels that way, but it is what it is? Even my dad asked if we *have* to invite both close friends. Am I really the asshole of I don't uninvite someone who means a lot to me in favor of my brother's boyfriend?

AITA for not inviting my brother's boyfriend to my wedding?

NTA

10v4797

Background-me (23f) and my best friend (26f) are best friends ever since I was born. You can see my previous post on how me and my best friend got into fights because she want me to break up with my boyfriend because she felt like she was being replaced and that he is no good.I messaged her after her not speaking to her for a whole week. Decided to let her know how I feel.I told her she made me feel like I had no choice and I felt worthless. That it felt like she is emotionally blackmailing me to break up with my boyfriend.She told me she was looking out for me and not to blame my mindset on her. She told me that I blame everything on everyone. She told me that she didn’t force me to do anything.She is sick and said even tho she is weak she is trying to be there for me. She said all this fighting is because of my bf (26m) and not anything else.I told her that it always feels like if I say anything that she doesn’t like or do something then we will fight. She has been pushing me away and giving me silent treatment if I do something she doesn’t like. I told her this. She told me she didn’t force me too. She said she’s loves me and wants the best. She still can’t see where I’m coming from. I then told her she is toxic and drains me now she is not messaging.Aita?

AITA- for saying my bsf is toxic

NTA

10um9gf

I have a good work-friend (and outside of work friend as well) who is getting married this fall. We both work in an elementary school. I got a random message from some of her not-work-friends (have never met them) that they are planning on throwing her a major bachelorette weekend a 2hr drive away from here on the weekend before the first day of school. For those not in the education world... I feel like it is kind of like asking an accountant to hang out on April 14th. They said they cannot move it because they've already booked it and there are no other options. This friend and I usually literally \*go into work\* to prep that weekend. I know it would break the \~wedding planning code\~ to give any indication to her that I am aware of this happening if it was meant to be a surprise. WIBTA to give her any indication of this surprise? Further, WIBTA to NOT GO because of how inconvenient that weekend is?

WIBTA if I told my work friend about a bachelorette party her other friends were planning on a very inconvenient weekend??

YWBTA

10v0qkj

I (F 28) got a job a couple of months ago working with neuro divergent children. At first the job was rewarding, but I find myself lately hating the job with a passion. The problem isn't the children, it''s how slow the work is. The job is one on one, teaching life skills and to me it's become so painfully slow that I can't take it anymore.I think part of the problem is that I might be Neuro Divergent as well (high functioning ADHD) so I need a fast passed job, otherwise my brain isn't stimulating enough.A other problem is that the children call sick often and my job gets canceled 1/3 of the time (without pay)One friend found me a fast pace job that pays better and is stimulating...But another friend says I am an AH for wanting to leave those kids without giving it more timeIt honestly gives me nightmares trying to figure out what is best... but since I am neuro divergent as well I feel like an AH for wanting to suddenly leave the kids that have bonded with me. WIBtAH if I left?

AITA for leaving job with neuro divergent kids because it's not stimulating enough?

NTA

10u5m8k

I22 am from New York. I have a very strong New York accent, and I’m Italian, so I guess I speak loud, I don’t mean too and don’t notice. I was on my second date with this guy James24. James is very put together, a conservative, a grad student. He came from money. We went to a nice restaurant, and I ordered the lightest girliest food possible, wore a nice classy dress. I was very excited because I thought we hit it off on the first date.The date was going well, we were conversating and laughing. Towards the end he got rather quiet. After I got home James sent me a text asking why I behaved that way at dinner. I asked him what he meant and he said I was very loud and people were staring.I didn’t see anyone look at us. I apologized and told him I didn’t realize I was being loud, and he got upset and said I was being obnoxious and embarrassed him at an elegant place and he didn’t think we should go out again.This makes me feel bad, I never want to embarrass anyone. This was my first time at a really nice restaurant and I don’t know maybe he is overreacting.

AITA for being “loud” during a nice dinner?

NTA

10ulz0d

For context, I am a contract web developer and stay-at-home mom, who works from home and struggles with ADD & PMDD. My husband works full-time at an office business. He is the only one with a car and a license, as we live in a walkable neighborhood and I don't drive.Both of us make good money. He pays the rent, utilities, and our daughter's school tuition, and I make enough during the contracts I get to pay for the groceries, streaming subscriptions, and the many extracurricular activities our daughter enjoys (swimming lessons, cooking lessons, yoga, etc).However, when it comes to our home, we struggle to find the balance. I pay to replace anything we need, clean to the best of my ability, and had worked VERY hard (despite my mental health challenges) over the last few weeks to get the place in order, build and install some new shelving & furniture (which I bought), declutter and downsize, and organize what we want to keep.My husband comes home and is very impressed! He said I did a great job and said, "now, WE just need to keep this place in order!"Now, I get he works full-time and I try my best to be empathetic and supportive of him when he gets home. However, when he gets home, his expectations are food and TV. He doesn't put his shoes away, leaves his clothes all over my vanity (instead of the sizable hamper I bought and told him to put his clothes into), and rarely ever puts his dishes into the dishwasher (even if the dishwasher is clearly labelled "dirty") and will often leave them on the oven with food rotting on it until I come and clean it up.When I get annoyed and bring up the fact he could have put his dishes into the dishwasher or put his clothes into the hamper, he tells me, "it's about balance. I contribute by working full-time and driving our daughter around. You don't." My reply to him today was simple, "it's not about balance. It's about capability. You have a car and can drive. I don't and can't, so I can't drive our daughter to places. However, all of us are capable of putting our dishes into the dishwasher, which includes you."So, he called me an asshole...or actually a "b-tch," but AITA for expecting that of him?\---**UPDATE:** Thank you everyone for your responses! I agree. I think that, while my tone towards him was definitely more irritated than I would have liked in hindsight, I am not the asshole here.Some more details: I had asked my husband yesterday if he could finish filling up & starting the dishwasher then take the compost down, because he was heading down to the garbage/ recycling area anyway and I was planning on doing the laundry today. He said he would but didn't, which he apologized for and said he'd do it the next morning IF I left it beside the door for him.So, that sets the scene for today. TLDR; I settled on the compost & dishes not getting done until this morning.However, morning rolls past into nearly noon: dishes & food are still on the counter, and even the entry hallways counter (which I had just decluttered a week ago) had become cluttered with misc stuff. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV. So, I dropped him a hint: "am *I* cleaning the kitchen today?""Sure! That'd be great!"OOF! My irritation grew."Can you clean the scraps and take down the compost before you leave?""Oh, yeah. Sure."So, the morning progresses and we had just received some lunch we ordered to eat before my daughter and husband head out. As I entered the kitchen with the food, I was immediately irritated all over again. He hadn't cleaned the scaps at all-- despite knowing I have sensory issues with touching and being around old food.I grabbed a few clean plates, took the food out to the living room, served my daughter and husband their lunch, and explained to my husband that I didn't have any counterspace to put the food on so that's why the whole tray is here. He goes into the kitchen to get a fork, comes out with a small dessert fork, and says, "do we not have any more clean forks?"I'm thinking, OOF! YOU DID NOT!I explain, in an irritated tone, "That dishwasher has had the 'dirty' label on it for almost 3 DAYS. You'd think SOMEBODY would be able to just finish filling it and turning it on over a weekend. It could have been me, but it was supposed to be you! So why are you asking me about the forks?" He mumbles something... and I go to the washroom and psyche myself up to overcome my sensory issues. I put some gloves on and begrudgingly did the compost and filled/ started the dishwasher. FYI: We do NOT have a lot of counterspace (sadly) and it does not take long for this place to look like it's blown up.After, I came back out and tell him, "we could (all of us) learn to put our dishes in the dishwasher more frequently so they don't build up like that." FYI, I'm not going to act like I didn't have a couple dishes I had left in the sink, too.He snapped at me and said, "It's about balance! I work full-time and drive our daughter around. You take care of the home!""Need I remind you of how I told you on, I believe-- was it? Yes. Our THIRD DATE...how I told you I am NOT, nor will I ever be, a traditional, old-fashioned housewife? I don't mind cooking, laundry, and light cleaning, but I suck at deep cleaning and stuff that screws with my sensory issues! You KNEW this!Now, I don't mind doing things! I may not always have the energy. You KNOW how somedays it's hard for me just to even get out of bed, but I try and I've committed a lot of time and money into getting this place streamlined. The least I expect is that all of us (not just me) look after it! I don't need you to do everything but could you at least help me, for example, cut out the part where I have to run around the whole damn apartment looking for your clothes that MAY be dirty, or which I may just end up accidentally rewashing for the 3rd time in a row? Or, better yet, just help me avoid washing something you want to wear when you come home from work? Because then I don't have to deal with you acting sulky because your PJs or crusty dressing gown are still damp in the dryer when you get home."Then he motioned at the ottoman, "Look, I took my folded clothes off the ottoman, like you asked, so all that's left on there to be put away are yours and \[insert daughter's name\].""Yes, thank you. I appreciate you doing that and I'll get the rest done. But am I really so awful for asking you to help me maintain our home in other ways, too? The other day, you told my father at dinner I was doing a 'fantastic job' organizing this place and told me after I finished decluttering the place, 'now *we* just need to get into the habit of keeping this place maintained!' Did you mean the Royal 'we' when you said that?"Then he got upset, "I'll tell you what? I'll do the dishes one week, and YOU take our daughter to her activies one week. I'll do my own laundry and YOU can go pick up the groceries (**context:** I preorder and he it picks up, otherwise I have to use my pull cart to carry it home). You really want our contributions to be THAT balanced?"I scoffed, "We're ALREADY supposed to be taking turns with the dishes! And I'm sorry but you're the only one in the household who drives! It could never BE that 'balanced,' if that's what you think balanced looks like!"Then he said he was done and that it was time for them to leave anyway. He got up off the couch and started to go.It was childish of me, but I called after him, "Oh, I'm *such* a terrible person for asking you to put a plate into a dishwasher after you're done using it, aren't I? How *diabiolical*? How *malicious*?! I mean, how *could* I even *dare* ask that of you, right?""I'm going to the washroom now," he grumbled, "leave me alone."When he came out and went to our room to change, I followed him because I wanted to explain one last thing. He said he didn't want to talk."I know you don't walk to talk, which is why you can just listen. It isn't about balance. It's about capability. You're capable of driving and have the car. I'm not capable of driving and don't have a car. However, we're all capable of putting our plates into the dishwasher or our clothes into the hamper (including me). Now, I'm still going to do the laundry toda--""Well, don't do mine! You don't have to do mine, I said!""You don't have to take this so personally.""I wouldn't take it so personally if you weren't such a b-tch about it!""Excuse ME?! I'm NOT! Look, it'd be so much more time-consuming and wasted effort, spitefully picking through our laundry to figure out what's yours. So, I'm just going to wash everything. I'm sorry but I made it clear I'm not some old-fashioned, traditional housewife and that we'd both be maintaining our home."He knew he stepped over a line and sheepishly said he understood. So, I dropped it so he could continue getting ready and I could focus on getting our daughter ready. I felt bad because our daughter had heard us arguing."Is dad just joking?," she asked."I wish. No. He's just having a temper tantrum, hon.""Why?""Same reason you sometimes do. Because he's upset. Even grownups have temper tantrums sometimes. We're not supposed to, just like you're not supposed to. We're supposed to know better, but they can happen sometimes.""Why is he having one? Because you told him to put his dishes into the dishwasher?"It was at this moment that I realized she had probably heard the whole thing. It's a small place, even if she's in her room and I still feel awful she heard us bickering. "Yeah. That's pretty much it, hon."Despite our argument, after they left, I still decided on doing laundry b/c it needed to be done so my daughter can have clean clothes for school tomorrow. I read all of your responses before they came home and knew what I was going to say to him. When he got home, he was not mad but he wasn't interested in talking about it either. When I brought it up, he said, "all I heard was you don't think I contribute enough."I reiterated that this wasn't the case, at all, and that I made specifically sure that when I said "we could **all of us** learn to put our dishes in the dishwasher more frequently" to include the phrase "all of us," because I had some dirty dishes that I left in the sink too!I said, "I think you contribute a LOT! But you can still help by not making extra work for me where it isn't needed by practing better habits. We both need to get better at those habits! Especially if we want to instill good habits in our daughter. We both grew up not being expected nor taught how to properly maintain our living spaces. We're both struggling with it, but sometimes it feels like you're so invested in work that you're not as committed to learning these habits as I am.However, and I cannot stress this enough, I TOLD you I wasn't going to be a traditional housewife. You KNOW I suffer from my own mental health problems which make finding the energy and focus to do housework a challenge for me. And you KNOW my short-term memory loss \[via ADHD\] has been getting worse!"He said he understood. I don't know whether he actually did or if he simply didn't want to discuss it anymore tonight. I'm going to let him sleep on it and discuss it with him tomorrow over the phone.Lastly, one thing I will say is (today being an exception) we usually do pretty well at talking with one another. He's been EXTRA stressed at work due to financial hardships over both COVID and the supply chain issues, and now we've just learned our poor daughter's school is nearly bankrupt and will have to close down in 2 weeks. Our daughter is understandably heartbroken by the news and we're desperately working with the school to try to figure out how to either save the school or find a new one last minute for the rest of the year. My heart hurts for the Grade 12 kids, though. Whether they get to graduate is up in the air. But, that's neither here nor there. It's merely to emphasize how, neither one of us entered this weekend in a particularly good mood, which is why I'm being more patient with him. I promise, he's not normally this pissy.

AITA for asking my husband to put his dishes into the dishwasher?

NTA

10ultxh

I (f27) live with my partner in the UK. My parents (f58, m60) live in a different country. During covid, my father’s business was going downhill. He has been working his own business for nearly 20 years, so clearly he wasn’t ready to call it quit.Last year, he borrowed money from me twice. First time it was USD$6000 and the second time USD$12,000. I told him the first $6000 I don’t expect him to return, it was most of my savings but he can have it since he has been a good dad to me growing up. He also paid for my college fee for 4 years which was about $20,000, so I think it’s fair to offer him some when he needed it.Though the $12,000 is actually a gift from my grandma on my mum’s side when I moved country, and it is literally my emergency savings that I do not usually touch in my bank account, so I do expect him to return it and initially he promised to return the money in a month. That was August 2022 and now he is still working on giving the money back, every time I call him he promises me again it'll be soon. He told me not to tell my mum and I have been keeping this secret to myself for over half a year.It is a big sum of amount for me. I work an average living wage job and each month I make around $2000 that covers my rent and other daily expenses. I don't have much spare money and live a very minimalistic lifestyle, my flat with my partner is a studio flat that doesn't even have a bedroom, as in my living room is my bedroom.Fast forward to now, apparently my mum found out from my other relatives (on my dad’s side) that he has borrowed money from all 5 of them (like at least $12,000 per sibling if not more), on top of that, my mum and my grandma had also lent him money before by putting their house back on mortgage. My relatives are pretty mad but they already don't expect my father to return the money (they're more well-off). And they can't wrap their head around my father's action as he could've ended the business with the money he borrowed and saved his ass, but he keeps trying, as he believes there is a chance for him to save his business and brings it back to its good old days. My mum is really upset and worried but my father just keeps saying "don't worry, I will get the money back and give it all back to them".I didn’t tell my mum he has borrowed money from me because I know she will be soooo mad and my dad would be completely shamed. But I don’t know if I should keep covering up for him. Personally, I believe my father will return the money (at least to me, unsure about his siblings), but I don't know at this point. If I tell my mum, would it be nicer that everyone in the family knows? Or, if I do tell my mum, would it make him less likely to return my money too, so I should keep it a secret instead (because once the secret is out he won't be scared anymore)?WIBTA to tell my mum that my father borrowed money from me?AITA for chasing my father to return my money even though he has been nice to me and provided for me when I was a kid?EDIT, EXTRA INFO:Initially, when he was borrowing from me, he did say things like "you aren't not gonna not help your dad right? Don't you trust your father?" It did feel a bit guilt trippy but it worked, which is why I did lent him the money, now looking back I feel a bit silly. I really hope the trust isn't gonna be broken, considering he is the type of person that doesn't smoke, drink, gamble, he had a good track record as a good father until now. He also works 6-7 days a week now, seemingly trying really hard to savage the business and the situation.

WIBTA to tell my mum that my dad borrowed money from me?

NTA

10ub1yo

My wife and I (47m, 46f) have three children (24f, 20m, 17f.) Without getting into a bunch of boring details my wife and I run a fairly successful business. However due to certain economic setbacks it hasn't been as fruitful lately as it was in years past.We were able to support our oldest daughter and let her live in our home rent-free through her 21st birthday, at which point we started to charge her nominal rent. However, when it came to her brother a couple of years later circumstances have changed and I decided that we couldn't afford to have an adult living in our home for free and that he will have to start paying rent.He's grumbled about it a little bit but he's started to pay it. The actual conflict is coming from his mother. She keeps insisting that since we didn't charge his sister rent at his current age that it's unfair to charge him rent right now, and that we are just going to have to figure out how to make it work. But I don't think that "fair" really has anything to do with it; it's just a matter of what we can afford right now vs what we were able to afford then. AITA?

AITA for making my son pay rent before age 21 even though I didn't make his sister do the same?

YTA

10ur8rp

Me and my mother had always bumped heads because she thinks I spend too much time in the bathroom, and I admit it's sometimes true, I do enjoy an occasional long shower or bath, sometimes I have to shave, do my skincare, or make up, and in those instances, if I know it will take a while I gladly let her go ahead of me. Sometimes I don't spend a long time in the bathroom because I want to, I do have certain issues with my bowels, that I've had since I was a kid, so it takes me a bit longer, I can't help it. But she got to the point where every time I want to use the bathroom she will ask to go first, because "she will be done in two minutes"... Like, she would see me walk to towards the bathroom and come quickly and tell me to let her go first. And I do most of the time, if I know I will take long such as taking a bath or do my makeup, but sometimes waiting just isn't an option. Today I wanted to use the bathroom, I have been constipated for the past few days because of stress, and I was really happy I finally needed to go... And again, she said "I'm not going to wait for you, I'll go first and I'll be out in 2 minutes." I try to wait but the w minutes passed and my abdomen was already hurting so I knock at the door, and she opens as she was filling a watering can in the bathtub... And I'm like, are you done yet? And she said she didn't started yet, so I ask her to leave, as I go sit on the toilet, because I couldn't wait anymore. She gets out, but keeps reminding me trough the door that she's waiting, and when I get out she yells at me for walking in on her, I tell her that I said I wanted to go first because I knew it was an emergency, but she always demans to go before me and she should just wait her turn, but she said it isn't fair for her to wait after me when it will take her less time. And tells me I could hold it for 2 more minutes, but that's not how my body works.We do have a second, smaller bathroom, downstairs, that we don't usually use, the toilet was built on a platform so my grandpa, when he was alive, could get up easyer, but it's too tall for me to use it comfortably as my feet are sort of hanging. And tonight mom decided to get the stray dog she was feeding inside and let her sleep in the small bathroom, (while our own dog sleeps outside, but that's a different story). So I didn't really want to wake her up and stink up the place if she's already sleeping there. Am I the asshole for telling her she should wait?

AITA for telling my mom she can wait for her turn to use the bathroom?

NTA

10uknoe

To keep long story short.I had a grandma that I genuinely did not respect neither did she, though she stated otherwise. As far as I remember she was big toxic person and all of the visits to her was a nightmare for me. I am going to vacation tommorow (planned almost 4 months ago) and it seems that the funeral will be organised in the week that I am away. For my statement that she was not a close person for me and I am going to trip instead of letting go my plans away and attend the funeral of a person that wasnt even close to me, my parents went insane and called me that they raise a monster and I have them deep in the ahole. AITA for prioritising my own plans and not behaving like my parents want me to?

AITA (25f) since I dont want to attend my grandma funeral

NTA

10tvob4

So. My fiancee has a bad fear of flying. Whenever we fly together she takes one of two options: 1. She drinks before the flight so she's tipsy and less scared2. She takes the local equivalent of a Xanax which basically means she sleeps most of the flightAs we are going on a transatlantic flight (11H) she went for option 2 with the hope of sleeping all the time. We normally always sit together and she holds my hand - I distract her with stories and we watch movies together... but here's the kicker: I have a business class ticket from work and she booked an economy ticket to join me on the trip. Her perspective is that I should give up the business class ticket and we should just sit together in economy, where my perspective is that it would be a huge waste of money and comfort to do so. Especially since she will likely be sleeping most of the flight I think it wouldn't make sense for both of us to sit in economy. Her perspective is that it's more important for me to sit next to her when she's afraid.On the outgoing flight, I checked in using business class, sat with her in economy during take off and then gave my business class seat to her so she could sleep comfortably during the full flight. I sat in economy throughout the flight. We are now about to go on the return flight and as I have an important meeting on Monday I need to be rested and suggested that I use the business class seat this time, checking in on her every hour and using the in-flight wifi so she can reach me if there's any emergency. AITA here for not just giving up the seat? Curious what other people would do in this situation.EDIT to clarify some stuff:1. Yes this a business trip for me. We thought we could upgrade my fiancee before the flight at a reduced fare but the prices went through the roof. We took a holiday after the business trip.2. My fiancee would be ok to sit in economy together - she's not "just trying to get the business class ticket". My thinking on the outgoing flight was that she would be able to sleep all the time in the business class seat, where in economy that's harder with the lack of recline etc.3. It's easy to move back and forth between business and economy. On the outgoing flight we sat next to each other whenever we weren't sleeping and my plan is to do the same now regardless of who sits where. My fiancee would just prefer to sit next to each other all the time.4. Flight time was 11H not 14H. Updated as some people doubted authenticity of the post.

AITA for not sitting with my fiancee during a transatlantic flight?

NTA

10v3puk

→ Yesterday at 11:33 PM\-Quiet down a little plsYesterday at 11:46 PM\-DudeZelex 2day at 2:08 AMYe dude. u do the same shit later. When ur dad has work. Up 2 2-3 pm sometimes that I can hear through my headset despite being pretty deaf. If u need me 2 be quieter early let me know ahead of time I rarely get the chance 2 play w/peopleI get I go a little hard but if ur going 2 bed early just let me know2day at 2:10 AM\-I was literally asleep already and this has been a fairly normal thing what are u talking about\-And I have been regularly done by midnight 4 weeks now outside of when my dad doesnt work(edited)Zelex 2day at 2:11 AMYeah maybe the last few months but ur always up late fucking cursing and screaming. u only seem 2 care if it affects u. Idc about that. But like why hold me 2 a standard u dont keep. Let me know ahead of time and Ill do my best 2 be quiet when ur asleepIve definitely been sleeping while ur awakeLiterally asked u if u still worked because u always seem 2 be up when I am and ur car is here when I leave 4 work and when I get back2day at 2:13 AM\-That was 2 days\-That I had off and then a couple the week after where I was off at 11 am and I went right 2 sleep all \-but 1 dayZelex 2day at 2:16 AMSo u urself said ur cutoff is midnight so y complain b4 then?I didnt know u were asleepday at 2:17 AM\-I told I was already asleep at the start off this, look man just do u Im not gonna talk about it ---anymoreZelex 2day at 2:17 AMu dont even talk 2 me 4 the most partI mean no. This is urs and ur dads house. I need actual guidelines. If ur doing one thing I follow what u do. If u need me 2 do something different the. Actually set the rulesIf I can't play games after a certain point then Ill have 2 live with thatBut if u guys dont set the rules and do the same shit then what do u want from me?\-Unless my dad says anything just do u. I dont care anymore.\-Simple as that now.Zelex 2day at 2:30 AMno u know ur dad wont. so just give me a cut off time2day at 2:30 AM\-Im telling u right nowZelex 2day at 2:30 AMas far as i know he doesnt say anything 2 u so why would he 2 me2day at 2:30 AM\-Until he says something I dont care anymore\-Thats the end of itam pretty tipsy during thing conversation and now. the ---- is my roommate/friend. i rent a room from his father. he stays 4 free 4 the most part. if anything is unclear just ask. im sure like most people im just here 2 find out weather im being a dick or not.i guess 4 the 4ums expectations i try 2 lay out my conundrum, i technically pay rent 2 his dad, and he lives within the household 4 free. hes calling me out 4 something he does himself and later into the night w/ more obscenities. so am i the ass-hole here 4 calling him out rather than just rolling over since its his dads house. honestly i just wanted clear ground rules since he does the exact same shit. im not good socially so im not sure if im missing some sort of normal rule here.

AITA Roommate stuff.

YTA

10v0aqb

I (25f) have two sisters, K (35f) & L (28f). Our mother (77f) has various age-related health issues, & I live alone w/ her as her primary caretaker, & have done so for many years. K helps out occasionally as well, bc she lives nearby, but L lives pretty far away in neighboring state so only comes to visit occasionally. L also has three young kids that keep her busy, & a chronic illness that is exacerbated by stress. She rarely ever expresses interest in mom during our conversations, & even when she comes into town she only visits w/ Mom for the bare minimum of a few minutes here & there, being more interested in catching up w/ old friends.Well, a few weeks ago during some routine tests, we found out that mom has a cyst on her liver & we would need to follow up w/ a specialist doctor. At this point, we don't know much so we decide not to mention anything to L until we have something more definitive, not wanting to worry her.Fast forward three weeks, & we get mom into the specialist, who orders another scan & gives a referral for a potential liver biopsy. At this point we know a bit more, but still nothing definitive. Nevertheless, we decide to tell L what we know, since she is waffling about a planned trip to visit us for Mom's birthday, & it seems relevant. K volunteers to talk to her about it bc I had been very sick myself the past week (couldn't barely get out of bed) & I also had a big remote work deadline on Wednesday that I was still trying to complete (from my bed).Well on Monday, after the appointment, mom texts L basically saying 'I saw the doctor today’, bc that's about the extent of her ability to text in her old age.Naturally L asked me what happened, but again I'm sick & trying to meet my deadline, so I tell her that K will call her in a day or so to chat, since K planned to anyways. I don't give it any more thought, until Wednesday when L reached out in group chat w/ me & K to express aggravation at still not being in the loop. K calls L but L doesn't pick up bc she's aggravated, so K just texts the details in the group chat. L seemed aggravated but overall ok. Until she texts me privately.She absolutely blows up & lays into me. Basically how dare I keep this from her, how could I not tell her originally, but especially today I had all day & could've texted her bc she is free on Wednesdays (mind you she didn't text me at all today either). After a fairly long & hurtful rant, she tells me that if I ever do anything like this again that she will never talk to me again. I guess she doesn't hold K responsible bc K doesn't live w/ mom. Also K & L have never been very close, but historically I have been close w/ both of my sisters. So I felt pretty sad & guilty for the next few days, & obviously didn't meet my work deadline bc I was still sick & now on top of that I was crying, & couldn't concentrate.. & she knew I had that deadline too (& how sick I was), I just feel like she didn't consider our intentions or my situation at all.AITA?

AITA for not telling my sister about our Mom’s appt results?

NTA

10t709m

My son (17m) has apparently been in the closet for the past 7 months. So, my son is fairly masculine/straight acting if that makes sense, however he's very obviously had a boyfriend (18m) for the past 7 months. He sometimes baby talks to this boy, hugs him all the time, has called him handsome, share clothes, sits away too close to each other to the point where they're basically cuddling, he closes his bedroom door when with him but not any other friends, sees him like everyday, buys him gifts, and for the past 7 months he now always smells great, has his hair fixed really nice, and dresses nicer, among other things.Today I asked my son if was going to invite his boyfriend on our trip, and he got awkward and said “that's not funny”, I asked what he meant and he said “Im straight, that's not funny” I laughed and when I realized he was serious I staryed laughing even harder.I told him he was very obviously in a relationship with a guy and did a terrible job at hiding it, he got emotional and started asking me not to tell his dad (my husband already knows, like I said it was obvious). Then he got upset saying outed him when he wasn't ready, he hasn't said a word to me in a couple days. AITA?

AITA for telling my son that he is obviously gay?

NTA

10v5vea

I wanted to go out drinking Friday night with my "friends" even though my wife told me she needed me. For context her father is in the ICU on life support and the power has been out at home all week from a winter storm and she was stuck there taking care of the kids. She said she would rather me come home because she was having an anxiety attack that just wouldn't go away because she was discussing with her brother all day weather or not to take her dad off life support. But I feel like I've had a long week and wanted to go drinking. So I went anyway. So, am I the asshole?Edit: id had a long week at work. I just wanted to have some fun. She doesn't even work

AITA for going to "play pool"?

YTA

10tjehi

So after reading through the comments, I thought I'd give an update. First, thank you everyone that commented. This has been a sore spot for me for a while now. I got married 3 weeks ago and I'm the happiest I've ever been. The ceremony was beautiful and we had an amazing time. My brother was not in it, nor did he attend. So, here's what happened:I spoke to my brother about his accusations and he proceeded to act like nothing happened and that he did nothing wrong. Essentially just trying to brush it under the rug. Over Christmas he, his wife, and my niece came to our mom's house for a little while and the tension was so high that we barely spoke. The day after Christmas, he texted me asking if he and his wife were still invited to the wedding. I told him, "If you can rectify and apologize for the situation with mom then yes." He then replied with, "Well then we're not going cause I don't have anything to apologize for." This hurt so much and I haven't talked to him since. I don't know where this is going to go or if I'll ever see my niece outside of holidays again. Again, thank you all so much for your advice. I know it isn't much of an update, but it has been a big weight that I've been slowly getting past since it all happened. Have a great day.

Update: WIBTA For Booting my Brother From My Wedding?

NTA

10ugip1

My husband & I have been married for 27 years. 3 years ago I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that limits what and how much I can do. We both work full time. House cleaning has become a constant issue between us. He gets mad and argues with me because he feels he is doing all the cleaning. I have good days and bad days. On my good days I do what I can, but if I do too much, I can only sit and rest for a few days. Work takes a lot out of me & I need weekends to recover. I try to keep up with dished, laundry, etc... but sometimes I can only do a little bit and the job isn't complete. I feel guilty, but I physically can't do more. My husband gets mad and upset with me for not doing my part. Am I wrong with only doing what I can or should I push myself more even if it causes me pain & fatigue?

AITA for setting boundaries about chores around the house?

NTA

10tgvfa

So a couple of weeks ago a psychologist came to my school to present to my senior class a PowerPoint about how our nervous system works and how to keep ourselves calm during exam season. I, being a very curious guy asked the psychologist what the difference was between the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous systems. This very question left the psychologist very uneasy, she could not give a clear answer and was left uncomfortable for the rest of the presentation. When it finally ended the teacher who was with us was fuming at me since apparently "that was not appropriate" and I "needed to learn when and where to ask questions to not leave people in an awkward situation". Needless to say, I was furious. So a person comes to a bunch of 17-year-olds to deliver a lecture on something and they aren't ready to answer a single question about what they have been talking about five minutes before? Besides, no one else was giving two craps about the presentation, I was the only one who cared enough to ask questions. Had I not interrogated the psychologist she would have had a hard time regardless, as it would be noticeable that no one was caring. My class is divided on this, my teachers are against me and my parents are divided too, with my father being on my side and my mother against me. So am I the asshole? All feedback is appreciated.

AITA for asking questions during a psychology presentation?

YTA

10v3emd

My husband told me last nite he'd got me an early birthday present, 3 months early. I asked him what it was, and he then went on to explain how it took a month of negotiations.I'm from North Carolina, he's a Brooklynite living here in Charlotte, NC. He's still got the Brooklyn accent.He said he'd negotiated to get me on The Simon Mayo Drivetime Show on Greatest Hits Radio in England as "The Hot Hillbilly MILF Support Worker" and that I'd be able to get on Simon Mayo's show.I'm a support worker from Charlotte, North Carolina who works with adults who have Down's Syndrome, been doing it for 19 years now.Hillbilly is a bit of an insult, ain't it? And they ain't from South Carolina, IIRC? Isn't it usually Kentucky or West Virginia?FWIW, people keep claiming my state feels more Midwestern than traditionally Southern or at least, for my city, like a bolt-on to New York City, more specifically Manhattan. Tourists to my hometown always say it feels like it's a part of Manhattan, and one guy even posted on TripAdvisor:> Why don't they move Charlotte out of Mecklenburg County and have it join Manhattan Borough in New York State, with Andrew Cuomo governing?(that was written in August 2019 pre-pandemic on a TripAdvisor review of somewhere in my city!)I told my husband I was shocked and thanked him for the surprise, but said that he needed to tell me in advance if he'd done a booking as I've had a busy work schedule in the day, I do a 10am-5pm shift most days, 10am-7pm occasionally, and I'm not tied to one person, but multiple.I told my husband that he was well-intentioned but it could clash with my work schedule and I'm worried about money at the moment and the economy.AITA for being concerned with how my husband's portraying me to Brits, and the use of the word "hillbilly" about people in North Carolina?

AITA for being shocked by my husband's surprise?

NTA

10ufez1

My sister had asked me and my husband if we'd want to go somewhere with our 11 month old daughter. We looked up how far the place was and it's an hour and a half away. I said no because I don't want the baby in the car seat that long and if we were to take breaks, it would take us two hours to get there. Plus, she is still on two naps rn, it would be incredibly hard on the baby. I'd rather wait to do long car rides when she is down to one nap.Shes probably mad because I've told her no to hanging out many times because I don't have money since we are on one income atm and our bills take up all of our money. I've told her we are broke and I'm tired of her spending her money on us.She complains to my mom about the times I've said no so I get my mom on me about hanging out with her. My sister doesn't come to me about it. I've told my mom countless times that she needs to come to me instead but my mom just tries to make me feel bad for not doing anything with my sister.Tbh, I'm a homebody and much prefer being at home so the pressure to go out when 1) I don't have money, 2) I have an infant still, and 3) because I honestly just want to stay home, is making me feel so frustrated and no one seems to want to understand that.And, what bothers me the most is my sister only wants to see the baby when we are out. She won't meet us halfway on this which we are totally able to do. But she won't stick to somewhere closer for us.

AITA for saying no to hanging out with my sister?

NTA

10uj5yl

Long time lurker, first time poster in here. Quick context for reference. My spouse has been in and out of mental health/rehab facilities for the last 14 months. For a total of 9 months being gone. I work full time, and we have a nearly 3 year old child. So, as you could imagine, I’ve been pretty much a single parent during this entire time. With only my income to support us all. It’s stressful, and tiring. But I’m doing my best. Recently, my In-laws have gifted us an all-expense paid trip to a major theme park nearby. By spouse is currently in a facility again. The trip was originally planned with my spouse in mind, and tickets were purchased for them to be able to go as well. My in-laws have already bought their plane tickets, hotel, the whole thing. My spouse is now telling me that they do not want me to go because “they will be missing the first trip with our child to this park.” My spouse has missed many first time things up to this point. But is making me feel extremely guilty for going, and that I’ll have to deal with the “repercussions.” WIBTAH for going? Trying to get some unbiased opinions from the internet world here.

WIBTAH for taking my kid to a theme park without my spouse?

NTA

10ukzuh

Me (22f) and my bf (23m) have been together for over 8 years.Yesterday we went out with his friends to a party and I did not know anyone. At one point he said him and a couple friends had to go to the car to get something real quick. I said okay but to try to hurry back. He ended up leaving me for 30 minutes. While he was gone I was talking to one of the girls and she asked where he went and I said he had to go get something from the car. One of the other girls heard and said they actually went outside to smoke. He knows for personal reasons I’m not big on him smoking, but I’m not in charge of what he does. I was however upset about him lying. A few minutes later one of the girls came up to me and said something like “I’m glad you guys finally stayed for a few! usually he just stops by for a couple minutes to smoke.” I knew nothing about this because he tells me he goes home after his games. I should mention we’ve had issues in the past with him “withholding information” and him saying it’s not lying cus I didn’t directly ask. I causally brought it up to him to hear his side and he started yelling at me for considering believing it. Now the argument is flipped on me and he’s saying I’m in the wrong for accusing him. Now I’m questioning if I shouldn’t have said anything.AITA?Edit: I just want to say again I’m NOT mad about him smoking. I brought that up as a reason for why he might have lied. I’m only mad about the lying. I would not tell him what he can and can’t do as a grown adult.

AITA for accusing my bf of lying?

NTA

10u4lfm

I effectively evicted my daughter and her new husband (they got married in Sept 2022) in January 2023.Why? I bailed them out of an entire year's rent & utilities from their prior landlord in a city where my daughter was SUPPOSED to going college (but did not attend single day)! Unfortunately, I was a co-signator for the apartment. I was sending THEM - not the landlord - 50% of the rent. They not only did not pay their half - they spent my money too. By my math, that means I paid 150% of their rent for the entire year!!! Why the landlord did not contact me before I dragged them home I will never know.I also bought them a car in 2021 (which they managed to write-off, against my insurance! Stupidly, I replaced it in 2022 an even more expensive one) so that they could to work ... And obviously I've been paying the tax, insurance and maintenance the car(s) too!!! I've also been paying their phone bills since 2021! (latter one ends one ends the 13th Feb).The "rent crisis" was August 2022, and at that stage I was already knee deep in paying for their wedding (September 2022) :(Despite that, in August 2022, I told them that they could stay (more or less indefinitely) as long as they both got jobs and as a couple, they paid me at least $100 per week towards the debt (btw - "cheap" 1 bed apartments go for $1200 per month around here). I also stated that I expected them to save the same amount for when they moved out. Assuming both of the above were met, I said we would waive any rent/utilities, but I simply expected them to sweep the deck, keep their ROOMS clean (we gave them an entire 3-room floor/"mother-in-law apartment" to themselves) and clean up after their dog - Not even make their own meals - just tell us what sort of food they wanted to eat.January ... No deck sweeping in 4 months. 1 cleanup after their dog (within a week there was 13 turds on the deck - not even fenced in yard! ... Seriously???)No debt payments; No utility payments; No rent payments ... They didn't even pay off their own overdraft! But they had lots of money to buy 7 or 8 large lego sets! (Those things are least $100 each).We had told them twice a month since start October (so that there was no additional stress during the wedding in September) that the debt repayment & chores were a minimum to stay.Jan 5th, we very clearly reiterated the statementabove, and said that if we did not see chores and debt repayments on a weekly basis, we would assume they had chosen to leave.They disappeared overnight in mid january, and are now telling our family, friends and neighbours that "we bullied them and then kicked them out".Please tell where I wrong? I know she's my daughter, but I literally had to sign for a second mortgage on Friday to cover the financial hole my wife and I find ourselves in!!!

AITA for evicting my daughter?

NTA

10uzqxx

My husband is a ghostwriter and a stay-at-home parent of 2 kids (ages 6 and 9). while I am the working parent. My work can be very exhausting. I work from 9 to 6. So most of the time, my husband is the go-to parent when they need something or want to do something. My husband is very outdoorsy and active, so he always takes them somewhere, like hiking, biking, skating, etc. He is a very big believer in investing in hobbies. And he's just the creative person, I guess.My daughter is turning 10 soon, and when we were eating dinner together, my husband told me that she knew what she was doing for her birthday. I asked what she was doing, and she said she and her dad were planning a sleepover and they were going to meet after school tomorrow. My husband showed me a tiktok of something really fancy (what she had in mind); it seems like a really big project.I feel like there is a big gap between me and my daughter, and I thought this opportunity would be perfect to try and get closer. I try to talk to her, but she always seems uncomfortable or awkward. I know my husband is her favorite parent, but I just want us to be closer. So I told her, "Why don't I assist her with the project?" because Daddy is so preoccupied with his book. She asked her dad if he was busy, and my husband went along with it. She got kind of sad and said that she wanted daddy to help her and that I didn't know what she liked. I told her I could be just as good as her dad. She said okay, but she sounded unsure, which I believe was due to the fact that her father is usually in charge of these events.After dinner, my husband told me he didn't like how I made a decision like that without consulting him beforehand and that he wasn't sure whether I could handle a 10-year-old party and that this is not even what our daughter wants. I told him my thought process behind wanting to plan it and that I was sure this was something I could do. Everyone seems to be a bit awkward about me taking over the planning. Am i wrong here?

AITA for handling the sleepover planning?

YTA

10tx1aw

New throwaway account as my family is on here also written on a phone, sorry. I (30f) having been battling my weight my whole life. It's gotten worse since the pandemic due to thyroid issues, a layoff that led to depression and severe eating my feelings. I was already about 60 pounds over weight. I gained an additional 80/90 over the last two years. It has become harder for me to function and live. So I saw a doctor about a weight-loss program. Im on a great program that has helped me lose 10 pounds since the new year. It has done a 180 to my eating habits I feel so much better on a daily basis with more energy. Now the issue. Friday, my mom invited myself and siblings for dinner. I asked ahead of time for the menu so I knew what I could eat and if I needed to bring something else to keep to my diet. My mom said oh no worries they are cutting back too and it's a healthy meal. (Side note she does know my diet as we have discussed it low carb high protein lean meat no sugar.) Okay I trust her. Well the dinner comes and mom serves a salad first. Okay fine I picked out the croutons doing great so far. The main meal is porkchops cooked in a ready gravy, so packed with sugars and carbs with potatoes, and rolls with cake and ice cream for dessert. I'm looking and cant eat any of this. Mom sees me just eating more salad and asks why I'm not eating the food she spent hours making. I said you know I'm diabetic now with high blood pressure. I can't eat any of this you told me you guys were watching your diet too. She goes "well we're all together for a meal I thought that was a good reason to celebrate and cheat a little. It's not like one meal will kill you." I said "this is exactly why I asked for the menu ahead of time so I could plan. I said this was very disrespectful to do this when she's knows how hard I am trying to save my own life! I'm only 30 and on diabetic medication and blood pressure meds and how does she not understand how serious this and has the gall to guilt me into eating?" My grandma chimes in that diets don't work forever and I'll never stick to it forever so I should just enjoy this meal my mother was kind enough to make everyone and say thank you. I said "no this very serious and my family should be supporting me for trying so hard." My grandma called me spoiled and my mom said I was ungrateful for all her effort to make a nice meal. My siblings were on my side saying they want their sister alive and my brother said it was no different then trying to force feed someone food they are allergic to and then getting upset they won't give themselves a reaction by eating it. My mom and grandma continued to tell me how awful I was for not eating so I left.I have since gotten a text from my mom and dad reinforcing how ungrateful I am and in the future if I make food they won't eat it so I can see how it feels. I get I hurt her feelings and possibly wasted food but am I really the AH here?

AITA for not eating a meal my mom made for me?

NTA

10u0dsx

I (F49) have three daughters, Maggie (F20), Miranda (F18) and Michelle (F15). My eldest moved out last year to transfer to a different college farther from home, about a 6 hour drive. We have an old house (it was built in the 1910s) and I needed some renovations done in my office because of some issues with the wiring, so I moved Maggie’s stuff to the basement and put my office things in there.Well, Maggie came home unexpectedly this weekend and was kind of upset that I moved her stuff. She said I’d said I’d leave her room alone and that she might want to stop by unexpectedly to make sure everything’s okay and to see us. I told her it was temporary and that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maggie told me it was ‘whatever’ and went to sleep on the floor in Miranda’s room. Miranda told me she seemed upset.I think she’s being dramatic, but I’ve been told I can be rude, even when I’m not trying to be, so maybe it’s my fault. AITA?

AITA for moving all of my daughter’s stuff into the basement?

YTA

10ub0vw

Me (30F), my childhood friend (30F) and another childhood friend’s boyfriend (30M) started a bet to see who could lose the most weight by a certain date. The winner will get $250 from each loser.I worked hard at the gym for months and won the bet. However, seeing as these people are my long-time friends, I offered to not take the money and accept a meal treat instead. The date was arranged and my childhood friend flaked just a few days before, saying she was very busy with work and will rearrange a date to meet. She has always been flakey but she hasn’t said a word in our group chat to rearrange a date for 3 months now - the last time I brought it up she said she will let us know again.I’m pretty fed up that I offered her a cheaper alternative to get out of it but she seems to be taking advantage of it. I’ve always believed that a bet is a bet and if I’d lost I would’ve immediately paid up or arranged for a treat asap.AITA if I ask to collect the money now? Because a meetup with all of us seems pretty unlikely now (my other childhood friend’s boyfriend just broke up with her)EDIT: Another question - is she worth keeping as a friend?

AITA for asking money for a bet I won?

NTA

10ug8v2

(Sorry for my English, it’s not my first language)Me ( 13F ) and my family had some sort of a family meeting a few days ago. One of my cousins (28M) talked about his mental health and how hard is it for him. My father (43M) then started talking about how that it’s nothing and he should just get over it. He said that he had gone through much worse things than that. My mom (42F) tried telling him that the way my cousin was feeling was hard and you can’t control it. My father kept disagreeing and he got on my nerves so I said that he is selfish. My cousin was talking about his issues and he made that about himself while also having the audacity to say that he should just “get over it”. I told him that it’s not easy to control your feelings and thoughts and that just because he lets his anger out and doesn’t feel like this doesn’t mean it’s easy to just get over your mental issues. He got mad at me and told me I’m “too young” to understand. My mom agreed with me, but my dad kept saying that I shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that and that basically I did a AHOLE move. So what do you think? Should’ve kept me mouth shut?

AITA for telling my dad that he is selfish?

NTA

10tp9ps

Me (35M) and my husband (34M) adopted a girl(11F) 9 years ago. My husband is Italian and I am Brazilian, but we communicate in English as it is our common language. I always wanted my daughter to get to know my culture from an early age, so I invested in Portuguese classes so that one day she could travel to my country. However, during classes I noticed that she was great with languages ​​and learned very quickly. That's why I learned more languages ​​with her. Currently she understands English, Portuguese, Spanish and a little Italian. Recently, my husband said that I should invest in another hobby with our daughter, as studying languages ​​is not very common and he felt left out. He also said he wished we only spoke English at home as he didn't understand the other languages ​​and again said he felt left out. When I asked what he wanted us to do with him, he suggested trips (only countries he liked), games and family time. I replied that if he wanted to spend more time with her he should show interest in her hobby even if it wasn't that common instead of just being jealous. After that night he hasn't spoken to me properly and said he expects an apology from me. I'm not sure if I was the asshole, as what he suggested was to force our daughter to do things he enjoyed instead of joining us in our hobby of learning other languages. My daughter is not a math or science genius but she is very smart when it comes to learning and I want to invest in that trait in her as it will be good for her future. So AITA?Update: Reading some comments I suggested to my husband that he should teach our daughter something. Today when I got home from work I came across them in the kitchen preparing dinner. There were a lot of dirty pans, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was even greeted with cake. They finally found something they like in common and are enjoying doing it together! I apologized to him for the way I expressed myself and now we're on speaking terms again, thanks for the help! And I forgot to mention, but we are a gay couple as many are mistaking me for a woman.

AITA for saying that my husband is jealous of my relationship with our daughter?

NTA

10uhi30

I apologize for any errors as english is not my first language.I’m feeling extremely conflicted about this situation and since last time this place helped a lot I’m hoping to get new perspectives. So essentially, one of my friends invited my wife (f24) and I(m27) on a skii trip this upcoming week. He’s booking an entire cabin and inviting a lot of our other friends as well. This invitation is extremely sudden (happened this friday) since we’ve had a looooot of snowfall in our country in the past week so it's the best time to go skiing. Both my wife and I absolutely ***love*** skiing, but for the past 2 years we sadly couldn’t go at all. In 2020, 2021 it was the whole pandemic issue. In 2022 we had to take care of our newborn son and decided it was best not to go. We both miss skiing. The issue is she can’t come this week. She has a law school exam this week and another one the week after. She’ll only have a break between semesters during the last week of February. That week I doubt I can take a vacation from work because a lot of other doctors have already booked that period and the hospital would be severely understaffed. It's honestly a lot easier for me to do it now. Plus I don’t know how the snow will be by then. We had little to no snowfall until last week. Right now the snow is perfect from what I've heard but who knows what it'll be like in a month. So yeah, I've been overworked the past few months (think 6 days a week all of December and January) and I really miss skiing. My friend is **paying** for the accommodations and food so that's a bonus. I kinda just want to go now without her this week. Would that make me a massive asshole?

WIBTA for leaving without my wife?

YTA

10tjdwf

My son (15) has a friend who is currently in inpatient mental health treatment. Even though the patients are underage, visitors under 18 aren't allowed, for whatever reason. My son asked me to go visit for him and give his friend some comics, a letter and a pizza. Apparently the food there is bad, but you can bring outside food to visits and patients can eat it during the visit.The thing is, I don't want to go. His parents go and see him most days, and I'm sure they bring snacks. I told my son I could give them the comics and letter to give him. He said no, because he doesn't trust them not to read his letter. Well, I really don't want to go to the hospital. I just don't feel comfortable.My son said I'm being a judgemental asshole, but I'm not judging his friend, I just don't want to go. I don't even know what I would say to him. Would I just sit in silence and watch him eat pizza? I told him to ask his dad, but my husband works weird hours and would only be able to go on the weekends, and apparently the parents always go on weekends.My son is really disappointed in me and angry at me, but don't I have the right to have boundaries? He told me that I was lying when I said he can ask me for anything. He can ask, but this is one request I don't think I can fulfill.Update: I read everyone's comments and a handful actually had productive feedback or information. Based on one person's idea I will schedule a time to go when my son isn't busy and then facetime him in the visiting area. He and his friend will get to have a (mostly) private "face to face" chat, his friend will get to enjoy his pizza and he'll get his letter and comics. It'll be pretty much a visit between them, and I'll just be the chauffer, basically. Thank you to the people who responded in good faith and actually read the post before commenting, as few of you as there were.

AITA for not wanting to go to a mental health ward?

NTA

10uk0w5

Not native english speakerM21 here. I was bullied in the past a lot and I am often emotionally unstable plus I have social anxiety. This gets very ugly when I feel threatened, mocked or very inseccure. Also I am introvert and I like to be alone. Today I felt very sleepy after flying my Air 2s and I wanted to go to sleep. It was around 3pm and I was lying in my bed and almost fell asleep. My mum then said I forgot to take my clothes from washing machine to tumble dryer. I said I'll do it later. She said: "Ok" and then went away. Btw she didn't see me lying in bed. She shouted that across the other room. Then I fell asleep and half hour later a call on my phone wakes me up. This made me angry and I answered the phone. I hate when someone wants something from me while I want to sleep. It was my mum and she said she needs to help with 3 beer kegs to take them to car. She and her friends were cleaning a community centre after a party. I said: "I was sleeping, why are you waking me up?" Then I heared laughing in the phone and I felt like they don't care about my sleep and my needs. I said: "Fine" and I hung up the phone. I went there and I am sure I looked angry. I took the first keg alone and placed it into the car. Then I took the second one and my mum helped me with that one. Then I wanted to take the third one alone without waiting for my mum. This keg was the heaviest. And then one of her friend said: "Why are men always so stupid? Why they never let someone help them?" This made me so angry and I said: "Really? You have 4 people here and you need to wake me up and force me from my bed only to take some kegs to a car!? That's more than enough people to do that!" Luckily I wasn't shouting but they stayed silent after that.All those friends were women. When all kegs were in car my mum looked angry and disappointed. She asked why I was so mean. I said I was sleeping and now I won't fall asleep again and I am gonna be tired the rest of a day. Then she said her friends have something with their arms. That they can't carry heavy kegs. I didn't know that and I stayed silent after that. She then continued talking about how it was mean what I said but then I repplied: "But they said mean things to me too!" They literally mocked men and my sleep. What else they expected I would do after that? She said that I have to sleep at night and not during a day ... I don't get it. I am not early bird. I am a night owl. And whenever my mum wants to take a nap I let her sleep and try to be as quiet as possible. Doesn't matter when or where. When you are sleepy, you should sleep. It's that easy!Then my mum said she will drive a car and off-load kegs alone and won't need my help anymore even when I offered my help. Then she went to her job and she will gonna be home soon. I think the fault was on both sides. I was too angry and didn't contol myself and they mocked men and my sleep ... I didn't want to do anything bad or hurt someone.

AITA for being angry?

YTA

10uuwyn

AITA for not doing the dishes?So on Monday I was hospitalized for a migrane. I'm okay now, at the time my doctor thought it was a stroke as I couldn't speak or walk properly.For the past week I've been out of school and resting, spending most of the day in my room. But on Friday I was started in my new med, which has some pretty gnarly side effects which made my already bad balance and dizziness, worse.So now I can't go more than 10 steps or seconds unassisted or without a cane. After I finished my dinner I got up and put my plate in the sink and sat back down at the table. My sister asked me if I was going to do the dishes and I said no, because you know, I can't go without my cane for long enough to do it, and she got mad, neither of my parents would do them so that left my sister. I feel bad for making her do them, so, AITA?

AITA for not doing the dishes?

NTA

10urul9

So background I drive semi's after 10 yrs in army was raised to be honest. I'm otr so me and gf wanted to have early Valentines day sinner at hibachi restaurant and this happened. I had been waiting in line for 10 minutes to get to the frozen bar to pick my food for the chef to cook when out of nowhere the lady behind me suddenly goes. "Excuse me, if you are by yourself, can me and my husband get in front of you? We are hungry?" I look at her and say. "OH you're hungry well wouldn't you know it so am I, and I think just about everyone infront and behind us are as well you and your husband have two plates each I have my plate for just me so to answer your question no I won't be letting you get infront of me sorry you'll have to wait like everyone else." She responded to that. "Well, what if I am pregnant eating for two people, wouldn't you feel bad not letting me at least go ahead?" (This lady was like stick thin if she was pregnant you'd know immediately) I made the most concerned face I could muster and said. "OH well, in that case, I could let you at least, but mam, you are so skinny if you were even two days pregnant. Someone on Mars would be able to tell. And since you aren't, my answer is still no. I won't be letting you in front of me." She started yelling and everything even her husband knew I wasn't going to budge on it and the chef cooking was trying his best to keep a straight face the manager came from back and told her to leave she refused at first but finally she left her husband apologized to everyone about it and said she's not pregnant but usually people will let her by when she says it. I told him, "Don't worry, it made me laugh because I was struggling not to just laugh in her face."Am I the asshole for this or not. The whole time till she started yelling she had the holier-than-thou attitude and tone to her voice. Also I am naturally sarcastic and adhd my mouth will respond sometimes before my brain finishes thinking.

AITA for making a lady be told to leave restaurant

NTA

10timnr

My 6 year old daughter takes MMA and Judo classes at a local dojo. We like the dojo a lot, except the woman (let’s call her Megan) at the front desk has gotten a bit…unhinged. I believe she is married to the owner but I’m not 100% sure. I have always allowed my daughter to choose how much she wants to bundle up when it’s cold. She’s very cold tolerant and complains that coats and even hoodies make her too hot in the winter, so most days she wears t shirts. We live in the southwest so it only dips to 40 degrees or so, not too bad. Megan has made it her mission to make sure all the kids at the dojo wear winter coats. For the last month, when she sees my daughter or any other kid not wearing a coat, she nags them to start bringing and wearing their coat. I’ve blown it off because it’s just another nosy old lady telling kids they need to bundle up, it’s whatever. Last week she flipped out on all the kids and yelled at the entire class that she’s been asking for weeks for kids to wear their coats. I mean YELLED. Then she made a big show of giving out prizes to the kids who did wear them. I’m furious over this for so many reasons:1. Completely inappropriate to yell at children like that. My kid cried the entire way home because she thought she was going to get kicked out of the dojo. 2. I believe in teaching my children to listen to their own bodies, not what other people say their bodies *should* feel. 3. Most importantly, I’m pissed that she is overriding my authority as the parent. I believe that sets kids up to believe other people - including predators - can override me and tell her what to do. I talked to some other parents in the class and they think I’m overreacting, that she means well and is actually helping them out in getting their kids to put on a coat without complaining. WIBTA if I said something? I’ve decided we aren’t following her rule, and if she says anything, I’m going to let her know exactly what I think.

WIBTA if I told this woman to knock it off?

NTA

10uiqsa

My family are choosing to go on vacation in April, and my exams start in May. I said I didn’t want to go because I wanted to focus on my exams as I need quite high grades to get into the university I want. They said they’re only going for a week and I can spend the rest of the break working instead. Usually I would agree but they’re not going far away and these exams are really important to me. My parents ended up saying I was ungrateful as they were offering me a vacation which a lot of people don’t have the opportunity to do. As grateful as I am for the offer, we’ve been on vacations in the past and I’ve loved them but my exams are more important to me. They said they also didn’t trust me to be alone in the house for a week, so if I didn’t join them, they (my mum, dad, and two siblings) would be denied a vacation that they want.I understand their concern but I’m capable of looking after myself for a week and the quiet would actually help my studying (there’s usually four other people in the house).I don’t think I’m being selfish or ungrateful but I don’t know.AITA?Edit for INFO: 17(F), they don’t trust me alone for the week as they’re worried I’ll host a party and cause damage as I attend quite a few, but I’ve never had one at my house and never gone behind their back either. I live in the UK so we have a 2 week break in April right before exams start. I’m a major procrastinator and the only way I’ve found that is best for me to study is at home in a particular set up, as well as all of my textbooks etc being too heavy to be able to bring on the flight without paying extra.

AITA For refusing to go on vacation with my family during exam time?

NTA

10urk0y

I had gotten a text last night about 9:30 pm. This was the first time I heard of anything from my brother (24) and mom (dementia) about doing laundry until the last minute which was 9 pm. As a grown adult with my own responsibilities and things I would like to do on the weekends. I was not home since Friday after I got off work. I was 7 hours away. My plan was not to be home at least until 5 or 6pm in the evening. I had replied to it with a lengthy message about the only time I do get to myself is on the weekends to do anything because work has me on 12 hours, 5 days a week. I wanted to take a weekend to myself and don't have any real reason to tell anyone what I am doing because that's what you can do as an adult. My youngest brother has had a place to always live, handouts - like my mom giving him whatever he wants to eat or drink while also paying for only his phone bill, xbox platinum and the cigarettes he smokes (and i question if he is actually buying them). Regardless, I shouldn't have to do my grown adult brother's laundry like he is a kid. I believe if you are an adult, you should be taking care of your own responsibilities. But am I the asshole for telling him to do his own laundry, get his license, and go and get a real job?

AITA: Am I The Asshole

INFO

10ufov1

I don’t like it when most people fuss over me so when my sister-in-law asked me if I needed anything I said no and that I was fine. The only person I’m okay with fussing over me is my husband so when he asked me 20 minutes later if I was okay and if I wanted something to eat or drink, I asked him if he could make me a cup of tea.After he left the room to make me tea, my sister-in-law asked me why I hadn’t asked her and said I was making it look like they weren’t looking after me like my husband asked them to. I offered to tell him that they were looking after me but my sister-in-law is still angry with me for not asking her for tea instead.I honestly didn’t think this would be a big deal and as far as I know my husband hasn’t said anything to his sister or the rest of my in-laws about it. Her continuing to be angry with me is making me wonder if I’m the asshole, though?

AITA for asking my husband to make me a cup of tea 20 minutes after I told my sister-in-law I didn’t need anything?

NTA

10taopr

Backstory:My parents got divorced when I was around 11. Around the same time my mom was in a car accident and had won a fairly large settlement on top of my grandpa passing away right in the middle of it. So she was left with a fairly large chunk of money.During their divorce, my mom constantly kept me and my siblings in the loop of everything and made my dad look like the villain in the situation despite my mom cheating being the reason for the separation. And when you’re young, you want to believe your parents have your best interests in heart. My dad paid over $300 weekly in child support for my siblings and I, and when I decided at 20 I wanted to move in with my dad she stopped talking to me for a while since she would fully lose all child support.Part of the divorce agreement was that my dad would not ask for any of the money from the settlement as long as $40,000 of it went into a college fund for me, since at the time my siblings had no interest to pursue college. Everything was arranged, the divorce papers were signed, and my mom gloated about how much money I would have for school. And on top of that my siblings and I had $10,000 each as an inheritance from my grandfathers will for us to use when we turned 18.A few years later she had fully renovated my grandfathers house that we moved into, we had a new car, went on a 7 night Disney cruise followed by a stay at a Deluxe Disney hotel. We were fairly happy, and I was a sophomore in high school excited to start looking at colleges, when my mom informed me she spent my entire college fund and inheritance on everything above.I. Was. Floored.The first thing I had done was tell my dad, who became so angry he immediately contacted his own lawyer and take my mom back to court to figure out a way to make that money back. At this point, we lived paycheck to paycheck and heavily relied on the child support to afford living.So she was served the court papers and they went in front of a judge, where my mom was given a slap on the wrist since it was determined she didn’t make enough money to pay back the $40,000 college fund.Throughout my entire childhood my mom was emotionally abusive towards me and my siblings. She manipulated us to be at each other’s throats constantly and was very narcissistic. She continued to get worse during my childhood and my anxiety and depression was crippling. It took moving to a different state to realize how harmful she was in my childhood and to see clearly how much she messed me up, and I went no contact almost a year ago.My dad is about to retire and made it known to me that according to his divorce agreement my mom gets a good chunk of his pension, which got my gears turning.Would I be able to take my mom to court over the college fund again, but this time to try to use his pension to replenish my funds? Even if that means I’m screwing my mom out of $1,000+ a month for my dads work.

WIBTA If I sued my mom over my stolen college fund?

NTA

10tlmql

I (24F) recently got a corporate job at a very prestigious company. I worked very hard to get where I am now, and I'm very proud of myself to be honest.My boyfriend of 3 years (I'll name him James - 28M) is my boss' ( Let's call her Nora - 36F) cousin (he has a completely different line of work). I haven't seen Nora outside of work much (Even at work, I don't see her a lot because she is at the very top of the hierarchy and I don't have a lot of work that directly needs her attention - but everyone agrees that she is an awesome boss). That changed when James' uncle (Nora's dad) invited the whole family including James and I over to his house for dinner. Notably, James doesn't like Nora for reasons I don't understand.Obviously, Nora, her wife and kids were there as well. She didn't make a big deal out of being my boss and I felt super comfortable in the family environment. Everyone was initially very sweet. Over dinner, James' dad asked me how hard Nora was on us at the company. He said he'd heard about how she made everyone work overtime and was horrible to be around.Nora is exactly the opposite of that. I don't have a lot of experience but she is the kindest, most inspiring boss one could wish for. She works double all of her employees and never makes anyone feel like they're being taken advantage of. She appreciates everyone's efforts and that's why everyone at work is actually happy to work overtime and help her with stuff. I told James' dad exactly all this. He didn't like the answer but I could tell Nora and her wife were loving it. And I added that despite not having a lot of experience, I was more than happy to work in the same company as Nora did. The conversation ended there. I thought that was the end of the story.On the way back, James asked me what the actual F was going on because I totally humiliated his dad in front of the whole family. He said his dad liked teasing Nora and it wasn't personal and I should have just avoided the question and ignored that.I said I honestly don't get how I humiliated him. James hasn't talked to me ever since and thinks I owe his dad an apology. I asked me colleagues and they all agrees that it was absolutely ridiculous to criticise Nora as a boss like that in the first place. James and his family clearly disagree.AITA?

AITA for defending my boss in front of her family?

NTA

10uyxbn

My last post of the night, I've become addicted to the clarity others are giving me and the release I get when letting this all out.The title is very much the entire story and it sounds crazy but I promise it's true. My one of my hall mates was trying to get the same single room I was gunning for (we have had legitimate reasons and unfortunately we're both unsuccessful). As we were both checking out the room I casually asked him why he wanted it and he legit told me with a straight face that his friends kept kicking him out of his room to have orgies. I laughed. I couldn't help myself and to be honest I didn't even think he was being serious but then I could see on his face that he was upset and he left the room almost immediately. About 10 minutes later I go up to his room to apologise and he said that he wouldn't forgive me and that i was being insensitive by laughing. I told him he didn't have to forgive me and that i once again apologised for what i did, that i never meant to be insensitive and I was sorry for upsetting him. he then said that i was an awful person and this was the reason i had no friends. this stung a bit but i just told him that i have said what i have come here to say and proceeded to walk away. he then steps out of the room and shouts at me down the corridor saying all kinds of things about me. i don't even say anything. I was too bewildered. With these three posts I made tonight, i understand that I might have very well been an AH in each one but with this one I genuinely believe I rectified it in the best way I could and there was no one around for either conversation (although anyone in their rooms could have heard the shouting) so it's not like i caused him to embarrass himself or anything. All my friends maintain that I was not the AH except for one who said that what I did was horrible and I had no right to think a simple apology would make things better. So AITA?edit: i got a little post-happy and some of my grammar was off

AITA for laughing at my friends misfortune

NTA

10uhlzm

Rewind to September 2022, I had told my family that I was planning on going on a 1 month trip with my 2 friends for the month of January 2023.At the time I was feeling very lonely and was also planning to move out of my family’s house for the month of February 2023. It just so happened that a friend of a friend had puppies otw so I decided to get one (husky to be exact).However I knew this would impose problems with my trip so I asked my mom if it was okay. I had only paid a deposit at the time and if she was against the idea of it I would regain my deposit and wait until I moved out to get a dog.She said it was fine and that she would be more than happy to watch over my puppy for me while I was away.Two days after putting a deposit, she tells me that she wanted to get a puppy too from the same exact litter… I was like okay? but it’s gonna A LOT of work but she seemed adamant on getting it regardless.This bothered me because I felt like she was just copying me, which she does for literally everything I do. I buy a house she wants to buy a house, I go back to school in computer science and she applies to school for computer science, I get a puppy… well you know the rest.Fast forward to my return from my trip and I feel like although she did take care of him, she kind of also neglected him in a way. She also boasts about what her dog can do and I find it confusing because now her dog seems really well trained while my pup is way behind compared to his brother. I know it was a lot of work but still I can’t help but feel like my dog was caged up for most of the time that I was gone.She says that he’s behind because I trained him differently than she did before I left but honestly he was very obedient before I left.Also the cage was left in our basement where it’s VERY cold sometimes and it goes in the negative Celsius because of the poor isolation. The other dogs cage is upstairs where it’s nice and warm and right beside her room.I wasn’t expecting my mom to literally train my dog for me at all, it’s more of the neglect that’s bothering me. I know she was doing me a favour but honestly I can’t help but feel frustrated.I expressed my frustration and now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. She won’t talk to me because I told I felt like my pup was neglected. He follows his commands well for sure but it’s just certain areas that he lacks in while her puppy is basically almost a trained service dog at this point.

AITA I feel like my mom neglected my dog while I was on a trip

YTA

10uywc0

In my opinion i did a diplomatic thing but i would like to hear what other people think because I think I might be in the wrong for doing this.We made a stop at the food shop , my Mum asked me and my brother what we wanted but it had to be healthy , I said I wanted a chicken and lettuce rap , she accepted that my brother said he wanted a mince pie(we're australian) , she declined. I tried reasoning with her and said "pies are not that unhealthy , its just meat and pastry" , which yes , I know it was none of my business but I thought mum was being unreasonable. Mum called my brother saying if he wanted a sausage roll , me and my brother were both flabbergasted because its just as healthy as a meat pie. My brother declined. I ran out of the car into the shop to convince my mum to get him a pie , she declined because apparently Henry was "being rude" and wasn't obeying her rules. I ran back to the car , my brother told me he wanted the sausage roll , I ran back to the shop and told mum he wanted the sausage roll , she got him the sausage roll but yelled at him and me when the got back in the car. I dont understand my mums logic but I'd quite like to , can somebody please explain and tell me if I'm in the wrong? Cheers.

AITA for convincing my mum to get my brother a sausage roll

NTA

10uyuz3

My boyfriend was watching Shameless by himself for 4 seasons of the show. I joined him occasionally in watching the show but really got hooked. We are long distance and both work full-time. Sometimes we watch TV for 30 minutes at night together, and we started watching the show together at some point. So we were on the same episode, and my boyfriend wanted to be loyal and stopped watching the show without me. I continued watching it on my own, and now he thinks I’m TA. So people of Reddit, AITA?

AITA for watching TV without my boyfriend

YTA

10tuukg

My (15f) half brother (16m) is half white and we go to a predominantly black school, so everyone makes jokes about it. For example, like someone told him that black history month ends for him on the 14th because he’s only half black. Another time when the teacher asked who was the only person in the room that would’ve been able to vote in the early 1800s and everyone said my brother’s name, but my teacher was actually referring to himself. That’s only two examples but it happens frequently. He’s not getting bullied or anything, he has alot friends. He’s a class clown, so he makes jokes about other people too. Yes I do laugh at the jokes about him because a lot of them are funny, and he even laughs at them himself. Yesterday in class someone made another joke. When we got home my brother was mad at me for laughing, and he said Im a bad sister for laughing when they say stuff like that. He said he doesn’t find them funny and a lot of jokes hurt his feelings and make him feel excluded. They’re just jokes that he even laughs at, but how I’m I supposed to know that they hurt his feelings when he laughs too. AITA?

AITA for laughing when people joke about my brother being half white

YTA

10tkccg

So my BF has been living in my condo for about 2.5-3 years on/off.My BF has only been helping me consistently with bills for about the last 6 months.The previous 2.5 years he'd help financially sporadically, like maybe a couple times a year.I'm appreciative of his help around the house but I told him I need more help financially.I do the bulk of the grocery shopping.He cooks mostly ready made and frozen meals.We split cooking weekly, I've offered to teach him how to make things he enjoys when I cook and he says he like it better when I make them.It's about effort and I feel like he doesn't put much in.I want someone to cook me homemade meals like I do for him which is why I offered to teach him.He drives my car.He recently left his full time job to work 2 part-time gigs.He wants me to sell my condo so we can buy a house together.I told him I wasn't comfortable buying a house with someone who cannot afford to contribute consistently.He said I wasn't being fair and that I know that he will help out.I have always felt guilty because he's a good partner in other ways.I'm in my last year of grad school and am ready to travel and enjoy life.When I tell him my plans of traveling after graduation he says he wants to come along.But he isn't financially stable enough to do that. If he pays for a weekend getaway then he's not able to contribute to our normal monthly bills. My utility&mortgage bills are about $2000/mth he pays $400-500. I've tried to explain to him but he says all I care about is money and that I'm putting him down.I have always worked and paid my bills even when I was previously married.I have a stable career and retirement plan.Until he can be financially independent and stable I don't feel comfortable moving forward in our relationship. AITA?

AITA for not selling my condo

NTA