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10u8kp2

To keep this short and simple, i am always taking notes in class, no matter the subject. All the while, my "friends" are talking and talking and talking. Now, we have our computer exam tomorrow and my friend asked me for the notes of the lessons there in the exam. I lied and told her i hadn't taken any notes of those lessons. I do feel a little guilty for not lending the notes but i feel like they always come to me if they need anything. They won't talk to me otherwise and ignore me. And plus when i ask for notes, they won't send saying that everything's from the lesson only so read that. AITA?

AITA for not lending my notes?

NTA

10ud01a

Hello Reddit, this is my first post here. I have heard a lot of these stories, but now I finally have my own story. This is DnD related, but I assumed I could post it here since it's me wanting to approach the DM outside of the game.So, let me start by saying this is a sea campaign. We are a crew of adventurers/merchants. Delivery Boys kinda lol. Our captain (the player I think is getting a lot of favoritism) is a level higher than us, and from the very get-go, the DM decided he would be the Captain. Why? Well, because the player is the oldest according to our DM (even though we have a player or two who have a bit of age on that player). I myself am 21, although I am young and the character I'm playing wouldn't suit it well. So, we began and went through, and I started to notice that the captain was getting some exceptionally... Lucky things. Legendary Magic Items (we started at level 3. We are level 4 now. He was a level ahead of us), stronger weapons, more loot.Now, look, I get he's the captain. But the explanation he gave for having him have a higher level is because he's an experienced sailor in his backstory. The thing is, some of us have that same sorta backstory where we have prior experience. But this lead to a head (at least in my mind). Last session, we did an extremely hard dungeon where we fought a crazy set of final bosses (A Zombie Beholder, Ogre, Skeletal Owlbear, and a Warlock with a Flame Tongue Longsword. All of them given multiattack (if they didn't have it already). I spent my time wailing on the warlock because he was the main threat in my character's eyes. I did get something from him (Maybe the talisman his powers are tied to, I still have no clue), but the captain immediately grabs the flame tongue long sword (OH yeah, he's a fighter whose level 5 and already is outdamaging everyone because... Well, you know... Extra Attack and Action Surge and Two weapon fighter).I am feeling frustrated because it feels like everything is specifically meant to go to him. Hell, when this DM's son was playing, he had a specific side question that would give a super powered weapon specifically for his son. I usually am a total doormat, but I really like DnD and the idea of this campaign. These are my friends, but I'm starting to feel the closer friendships are going to keep being handed out powerful stuff while everyone else is stuck kinda sprawling. Would I be the asshole if I approached the DM to perhaps explain how I feel?Quick edit: To clarify, I'm playing Bloodhunter (at my DM's request), so I am a Frontliner too

WIBTA if I approached my DM about possible Favoritism

NTA

10u9867

So I (16M) and I live with my sort of adopted dad who I consider my real dad now and is pretty much the best parent anyone ever had but im not sure if im being an ahole to him.I asked my bf but he said its family stuff and he doesn’t want to get involvedI dont live with my bio dad anymore because my stepmum and her daughter are impossible to live with and bitches to me 24/7. We had lots of conflict until recently about a box of my dead mums things like jewelry and photos and diaries that will be mine when I turn 18. My stepsister kept taking the jewelry and wearing it on TikTok and stuff and my bio dad would make her stop but never punish her and i lose my temper which is bad and she does it again. A couple of weeks ago she posted a bit from my mums diary online and I lost my shit and some of my girl friends at school cussed her out and my stepmom had a huge go at my adopted dads bf it was a huge mess.Anyway my bio dads house got robbed and the box with all my mums stuff was taken and some other stuff. They were at a school concert and of course they instantly blamed me but I was on a surprise trip to London with my uncle and my bf that my real dad arranged so I had a perfect alibi, my uncle even had tons of selfies of us in London so no way it could have been me.I did have to go to the police station though and my real dad came with me and was awesome the whole time because I was nervous. Thing is he kinda flirted with the police lady while we were there and got her to tell him they probably wouldn’t go any further with the investigation because they pretty much can never solve these things.Heres where I think I might be the ahole. Im really sad that the only things I have of my mum are gone and I really want to do something so I’ve been bugging my real dad (not my bio dad he doesn’t care) about it all week. Usually he will do anything to help me but hes been kinda not bothered. Like hes been nice and done tons to cheer me up but he wont do anything to make my bio dad chase the police and he wont call them himself. He just keeps saying itll be fine but its not fine. I asked him to get his really good mate who used to be in the police but investigstes stuff privately now to try and find them and he flat out refused even though I can pay with my own money. So yesterday I said if he wasn’t going to help I’d call the police myself and he totally lost it at me. Only time hes ever shouted at me in 7 years. He apologised straight away and I forgave him and we made up.He shouted at me to drop it and im going to but am I the asshole for keep bugging him about it all week and am I the asshole because I’m still low key pissed off and I still want to do something?

AITA for bugging my dad about wanting to do everything I can to get back my dead mums things?

NTA

10txxns

I work in a secured environment where there's Tier 1, Tier 2 and System Administrators that work there along with some supervisors and a boss. Last year I managed to catch a job announcement that was for a Tier 2 position and decided to apply for it. None of the other Tier 1s saw it because none of us got an email saying they put it out.When my coworker discovered this after the announcement has closed, he came to talk to me about it and said if he knew, he would have applied because he's been there for years and feels as though he was ready for it. I told him I decided to back out because I changed my mind and I wasn't gonna apply again because I didn't think I wanted it. Flash forward to last month and another Tier 2 job opened again. I mentioned it to him and he applied to it. I told him good luck and since none of the other Tier 1s wanted it or had enough experience, he would probably get it in favor of outside applicants.However, after thinking about it and talking to a few friends and some coworkers, I have decided to apply. A supervisor said at least it would be good interview practice and another said that he would've done the same if I was in his position. A coworker said that he's been here for years and 3 people that came after him have already been promoted to Tier 2. I just feel conflicted that I had given him my word, but changed my mind. I feel that I have a great shot considering all the extra work I've done from reorganizing our media inventory to helping out and even getting some System Admin responsibilities to help out. I feel like he would be upset if I managed to get it before him, but it seems like he's riding on how long he's been there rather than his contributions to get the job.AITA?

AITA for telling my coworker I wouldn’t apply for the internal position but did anyways?

NTA

10tmeie

My (30f) husband (33m) and I got married three years ago, we have a three year old daughter and a good relationship between us. However, his mother never liked me or even pretended to. At all my in-laws' family celebrations that I attended, she made a point of calling my husband's ex wife. They broke up 5 years ago, but my mother-in-law has not gotten over the breakup and continues to insist on their reconciliation even though he is married and has a daughter. The reason for this is because in addition to being my husband's first wife, she is the daughter of his mother's best friend who died, so she has always treated her like a daughter. Initially I didn't care about the bad treatment, as I thought that after we announced that we were getting married, her penny would sink in. But it wasn't like that. She called my husband's ex wife to my wedding without my permission, called her to my husband's birthdays and all with the excuse that "she is family". I couldn't stand it, but I got over it for my husband and our daughter's sake. Last week, my father-in-law passed away due to a medical condition that had no treatment. The whole family was sad because he was an amazing man. Unlike my mother-in-law, he always liked me and said I was a good person, unlike my husband's ex-wife because she was bad for his son (his words). We traveled about 2 hours to get to the place where the funeral would take place. It wasn't two minutes before we arrived and my mother-in-law was already making a scene against me, yelling things like: "This is your fault", "you're a homewrecker " and "I wish it was you". She tried to stop me from seeing my father-in-law, but my husband wouldn't let me and I was able to briefly say a final goodbye. My daughter was at the reception with my sister-in-law as I didn't want her to see her dead grandfather. After a while I went to stay with her so that my sister-in-law could stay with her father. Shortly after, my husband's ex wife comes in and looks at me at the reception with a strange smile and greets me saying that she was very sorry about the death of "her father-in-law" and that it is a difficult time for everyone.I foamed with rage and the only reason I didn't attack her was because of my daughter. I spoke to my husband and he said he wouldn't leave as it was his father's funeral. I understood him, but if I stayed one more second in that place I would have a fit. I called an Uber and left home because I didn't want to stay there with my daughter who also wanted to leave. On the same day he called me asking where I was, when I said I was at home he yelled at me asking how I had the nerve to do this to him when he needed me. I explained why I didn't want to stay there anymore, but even then he said that I was heartless and empathetic to him and could have waited. Now he's not talking to me and I'm wondering if I was an AH. So AITA? I don't speak english*

AITA for leaving my husband alone during his father's funeral?

NTA

10t8gj6

I 46f am a lesbian and have been with my wife for 20 years. We have 3 children together, ages 18Bree, 16m and 12m.Bree is in college and has recently started dating this girl Nala. They’ve been together about 2 months. Nala is a nice girl I met her once but Bree has never had any interest in woman. Her whole childhood was her obsessing over Justin Bieber or One direction, her whole room was filled with posters of them. She knew she could be comfortable coming out if she was. She’s made comments to her brother how it feels weird kissing her, and she doesn’t know how their moms do it. My wife and I both agreed that this was just college experimenting. I know this is a new world, but I also know my daughter.A few days ago we were on the phone and Bree told me Nala was telling her she should quit her extra curricular, and focus on her major. I reminded her that without soccer she has no scholarship, and how she expected to pay for it. Well of course Nala has this idea on how to handle it. We got into a pretty heated argument over it. She said something to me like “You guys don’t care about my mental health like Nala does!” I snapped and told her “stop saying that your not even gay!” She got upset and called me a “mega AH” and accused me of being “homophobic” (even tho I’m gay) told me she was dropping soccer, and hung up the phone. She won’t return my calls or text and she lives 4 hours away on campus. I got a little crazy and looked Nala up on Facebook and texted her asking her to have Bree get back to me, and Nala left me on seen. This upsets me because I never meant to put my input in, she can love who she wants to love, I want her happy, but I do think she’s moving extremely too fast into unknown waters.

AITA for telling my daughter she wasn’t gay?

YTA

10tznyq

Throwaway just in case.My(F25) fiance (M34) and I plan to get married this year. We've been together since 2021, we live together and are both sure the other is our person. The problem isn't an in relationship issue but on his family's side. He has 2 siblings M(33) and F(31). Fiance's brother lives in another state so his girlfriend reached out to ask when we were getting married so they could make time to be there. Fiance and I had thrown around some plans but had nothing concrete besides wanting to get married this year. Our dating anniversary is the 1st of October. While this is fine, we figure weddings don't have to coincide with the same month as your dating anniversary. I also wasn't keen on having to celebrate my wedding anniversary in the same month as my birthday which is in the middle of October. I asked Fiance if he was okay with switching the date by a month(we both wanted a fall wedding for cooler temps). We chose to get married September 9th instead. We reached out to let our families know. Fiance's sister was livid that we chose September because her and her wife also married in September. However the date we picked is not the same and they married years earlier.Fiance and I think its unreasonable to be upset over sharing a same month anniversary. Am I the asshole for not wanting to change the date?

WIBTA if my fiance and I marry in Sepetmber

NTA

10u2628

My mom and dad originally got divorced in 2013. She found a new man, which was my stepdad. We should call him Rob. Rob was very rude to me and my siblings, but I could tell the only reason he ever stayed with us was cause of my mom's body. He verbally and physically abused me many times and never really gave me anything, unless it was because to show my mother "how great of a father" he is. He has emotionally wrecked me up these past couple years, along with my siblings. He has made all of my siblings have terrible mental health, and experience lots of pain for just no reason. You could tell I tried to quickly move out as fast as possible, I just couldn't take being there. I moved out in 2019. He later then died in 2023, not long ago. Just a few weeks ago. My mom urged me to attend his funeral, as "he always showed care for me and loved me". I tried telling her why and she would not believe me or trust me, and she kept telling me to go. I insisted that I would not be going to his funeral, and I don't wanna see his body or anything of him again. Am I the Asshole?

AITA for not attending my stepdads funeral?

NTA

10u5tw8

I (F26) bought a van in Dec, my friend (M35) had offered to help me with it as something we could do together. The option of just cleaning and fixing it up to sell was talked about from the very beginning as backup.We worked on it together. He would insist on buying parts I didn’t need or Intended to pay for myself. He wouldn’t always let me pay him back & insisting. I started to feel pushed into accepting help I couldn’t easily return. He would drive it around & didn’t always disclose to me his usage. At one point he used it to tow without proper equipment & didn’t tell me.In Jan, he would complain to others that I was not contributing when it had only been due to bad weather. Hesring other mean things said behind my back causd me to feel uncomfortable with the commitment. I had confronted him nicely about it & he lied then continued to talk shit to others. My dog started having expensive health problems, causing financial & personal reasons to give up the van. Justly, he was unhappy to hear this, but I offered him first dibbs, low cost (2k) & 3months to pay. He couldn’t afford it, asking for more time, but I would be out of state then & do not wish to hound my friends for payments. Plus the van would already be in his possession. He suggested I look elsewhere. When I did, he flipped a switch. Suddenly there were issues with the van I was unaware of. Which of course his reasoning was that he wanted to fix and replace it all as a “surprise” after I already told him to stop being so generous & let me pay for things myself. Considering I wasn’t previously aware of these issues, I assumed it was something he caused with his usage. I was wrong. Before, things seemed fine. wheels were offered as a cosmetic upgrade & I said no if it’s in good working condition. He had the opportunity to tell me about the issue & decided not to. Plus, I didn’t understand “busted front end” to me meant front of the vehicle which is where he towed from & assumed he caused that. He claimed he had to park it weeks ago, but had driven it a few days before without telling me. He finally admitted he was upset I was asking for 2k when he thinks his contribution should lower it, but didn’t communicate it. We both apologized & tried to move forward. I asked how much I’d owe him & he said I didn’t. No number or list of his work. So, I planned to pay him 10%, and offer an installation to the buyer for $200 for him.I thought all was well until he vented to my girlfriend that he was upset because he did 1k worth of labor (never mentioned) & that I was taking advantage of him & blaming him for breaking the van… after we had just talked it out. She was taken aback by his sudden change in tone. I asked him if we needed to talk more things out. He blew up at me, cussing me out; friendship over.I can understand his frustration, but I do not know if his anger is justified. he was understanding until the reality of the sale set in. AITA?

AITA for changing my mind about a project van?

NTA

10ts9i5

I (25f) am the MOH of my best friend's (25f) upcoming wedding. I have spent almost a year & over $1000 doing things for her bachelorette/ wedding. I have not complained once about anything, I have gone above & beyond on gifts, decorations, & plans to make everything perfect for her. I have asked her for zero to little help with anything. I live in about 3000 miles away from her, so travel has been an issue in planning & $$ costs but I have flown there for all the big stuff (wedding dress shopping etc). The bachelorette is in May & the wedding is in June. This last week she (the bride) decided to tell me that she invited my ex to her wedding. She did not ask me how I felt about it, simply just said she had already invited him. For some background context - he is not just any ex. He is a level 3 registered S/O. We dated in middle school & highschool for many years. Per Reddit I am not allowed to go into detail the things he did to me & other women. Let's just say he's horrible & ended up in prison for it. I had the power to put him away when we were 17 & my family & I had a full case with the district attorneys office. For my own personal reasons back then, I decided not to ruin this man's life at 17. Had I had known he would end up in prison anyway- I should have pursued the case. The bride said that she didn't think inviting him would be a big deal considering "it's been YEARS & we have both matured & moved past it." What he put me through was not something ever gets over in their entire lifetime. Further than that- when I did tell her I was uncomfortable with it she then proceeded to tell other bridesmaids that I was being "selfish per usual." She has two children of her own ( boy- 5, girl -8 months) so why she would want a registered S/O at her wedding anyway is beyond me. She says that he was her best friend in highschool & they have matching tattoos (as if that's an excuse for who he is as a person). I could stomach being the bigger person & still attending her wedding knowing he'd be there, even though my mother has made it clear she cannot be within 25 miles of him(she was invited as well). The reason I'm so upset & no longer want to be in her wedding/ her friend at all is her treatment towards me in all of this. She has bad mouthed me to other bridesmaids behind my back & could not understand why this might bother me at all. I have bent over backwards to make everything perfect for her & spent thousands of $ of my own money for everything. To me it seems I'm the bad guy no matter what I do- so now I have no desire to be around her or continue to finish the bachelorette/ spend more of my $ to be at her wedding. My entire family + friends + other bridesmaids we grew up with have all agreed this is fd up & shouldn't have been an issue from the first place. She still doesn't see an issue with it. I feel beyond hurt, betrayed, & unappreciated. AITA for wanting to drop out & be done with it/ her?

AITA for wanting to drop out of my "best friends" wedding?

NTA

10tqyyc

I (21f) and my boyfriend (bf)(22m) have been together for 3 years now. We live in long distance. I come from a poor household with almost no family. Growing up I learned that I don't need much to be happy and I don't like useless 'stuff'. I also learned that when you don't have money people expect you to do whatever they want you to do to get money. That is why I learned to only do things that I really want to do and not bec other people want me to do.Whenever I visit my bf I feel uncomfortable because I don't really get along with his parents. bf is an only child and treats his parents like gods (maybe a bit exaggerated but you get what I mean) and he expects me to also treat them like this.His mum (MIL) buys me a lot of 'stuff' for christmas etc. I tell her everytime that I don't want gifts, but she keeps doing it. I talked to my bf about that but he said something like "let her do that. It's her love language" I replied "I feel uncomfortable receiving gifts and I want her to stop". He didn't say anything to that. Back to last christmas. She got me a bunch of 'stuff'. bf gave me the presents in private bec he was visiting me. He then asked "aren't you happy?" I replied "no. I didn't want anything and these are things I won't use". He got upset and wanted me to text his mom thank you. I said okay and did bec I want to keep the peace.Let's talk about the title. I don't really have a sweet tooth, actually I get pain in my teeth from sugar. I visited bf and MIL baked a cake. bf asked me if I wanted a piece and I said "no I don't like cake but thank you". He said "you don't know if you like this cake until you taste it" i shaked my head and said "no thank you, I don't want cake right now". He got upsed and said "MIL would be happy if you would eat it." Notice MIL standing in the kitchen with us. I shaked my head again and smiled but inside I was furious. I wanted to say something like "why should I do something, that I don't want to do just to make another person happy AND get tooth pain from it?". But I didn't bec I didn't want things to get awkward with her in the room. Bf was very pissed about it and kept on saying how happy she would have been. Yes I understand that he wants MIL to be happy. But what about me? Why can't he stand up for me? Why can't he just tell her " pls dont buy OP presents, she doesn't like that" or "no problem if you don't want to eat cake. I know you're not a big cake eater" But in his eyes I am ungrateful. MIL knows about my childhood and wants to spoil me. Yes, maybe she means no harm but that is exactly what she does.AITA for not being grateful enough?

AITA for not eating my MILs cake

NTA

10ty2bu

I (30F) am taking a medication that’s making it hard for me to eat. I ended up in the hospital because I was super malnourished. My mom (56F) felt worried about me and invited me to dinner at her home. An hour or so before I’m to come over, she calls me and says she’s invited a bunch of my uncles and aunts and some other people - and they’re coming over with food to all hang out. I told her I wasn’t comfortable seeing a lot of people yet since I’m still pretty sick. To which she responded “I’ll just see you another time then.”AITA because I feel sad she didn’t make it a priority to see me since I’ve been out of the hospital? Or am I being too bratty?

AITA because I’m not going to my moms dinner party after coming home from the hospital?

NTA

10u5a79

Hello, I(33F) am a single mon to 2 kids (10m) and(9F). Both of them are special needs. Any way, a while ago, my mom decided she wanted to go and pursue her dreams and left my little sister who was 18 and still in high school at the time, in an apartment with her mentally Ill boyfriend and friend of hers. She never taught my sister bath about being an adult and my sister chose not to go to college. She did however get a good job paying her 40k a year and she has no kids. My mom has another apartment in another state as well as some other potential assets. Well her plans didn't go as she planned them and she can't afford to pay the rent for the apartment my sister and her friend lives in. She asked me and my boyfriend to pay her half. I asked why my sister couldn't just pay the rent since she has the money and she lives there. I recently just bought a house. Her mentally ill boyfriend ran away and Has not been seen in months. I recently found out where he is. She knew this the entire time and didn't tell me and my boyfriend.. so we decided to stop paying her half because she lied to us. She's been manipulative toward me my entire life and is the reason I have major depression disorder and anxiety. When I did live with them , they didn't help me with my kids and blamed everything on my kids and made life difficult for me, my mom even tried to make me pay half the rent and I was sharing a room with my kids and paying the utilities and some luxury bills like Netflix and other apps. There were four (4) abled body working adults in the house at the time... so i held back and told her I won't do it. Why should I pay half the rent when we all work? She kicked me and my kids out the house a few times too...I don't want her or my sister to live with me. And I'm not going to help her with the rent. She won't make my sister grow up. And take responsibility as an adult.. so Reddit, AITA for not helping and letting them figure out what to do on their own?

AITA For Not Supporting My Mom During A Difficult Time

NTA

10tw7xp

28M and I’m getting married in June. The backstory of my friend group is that I’ve had my best friends all since like 8th grade. We all went to highschool together and I even went to college with one of them. There’s 5 others in the group besides me. Naturally people drift a bit after college and going into adult lives. I ended up moving out of state but we all frequently play video games together and go on trips so we are all just as close. Well besides one guy “Darren”. He’s still a good friend of mine, but doesn’t share the same interests anymore. Doesn’t game with us. Never goes on trips or out with us when I’m in town. (He’s always invited he just never comes). Long story short, when it came to wedding party selection, I obviously have my brother and her brothers and whatnot. But I included the 4 guys from the group. Not Darren. Of course he’s still invited to the wedding and at a table with other friends he knows. Over the past few months I’ve been hearing through the grapevine things Darren is saying. Things like he’s upset that my wedding is in my home state, I’m being a dick for making people travel, and he might not come because of the expenses and time off work. And if he does come, he’s flying in day of and will probably miss the ceremony, and leaving first thing next morning. Overall negative energy about all of it. I feel like this all because of the wedding party. I’m debating calling him and telling him if he has all these issues don’t bother coming. I had a certain number of people for the party, I HAD to include certain family. Like, come on? I need to include him because we sat together at lunch in high school 10 yrs ago? He should know he doesn’t do as much with us and isn’t quite as close as the rest of us are. Some of my family is on his side. Saying I excluded him and I included everyone but him. I tried to explain my reasons and they said I should call him and apologize. Apologize for what? I’m not sure. But am I the asshole if I tell him just not to come?

WIBTA if I told my friend not to come to my wedding after hearing some of the things he’s saying?

NTA

10txq37

I 28f have a 1 year old daughter. My husband (30m) and I have had a rule with our extended family about posting photos of our child on social media. We ask that they get permission from one of us before posting any photos as we don't want their pictures floating around to people we do not actually know ourselves. We understand that they want to share photos of their grandchild and niece/nephew, but we wanted to minimize it. So, to be clear, it's allowed to have some photos of the child up. we just asked that they check with us beforehand, so nothing we might find inappropriate, like mostley naked/bath photos or anything cringe/weird. Backstory. My MIL has always had an issue with boundaries and very much so has the mind set of "I raised 4 kids so I know better than you" and ignores the boundaries we have put in place like no eating in the carseat while driving or no soda pop for the baby. Pretty basic things I feel like we shouldn't have had to outwardly express, but seeing her do this with our older nieces and nephews has warned us to put the boundaries in place from the get go. My husband and I rarely post photos of our kid on social media. I have about 5 photos from the first 18 months of their life, and my husband literally just has the birth announcement photo.I took about a 3 week hiatus from fb. During that time, my MIL posted about 30 photos of our child without asking my husband or I prior to posting them. Some were from the holidays, which I understand they are going to be in the background of the other grandkids' photos. but others were just random. I'm peeved by this, and it's frustrating that she honestly doesn't care about any boundaries we have out in place. My husband is annoyed, but let's most things go because she is impossible to argue with and always makes herself out as the victim and everyone else is the aggressor. Now the photos are not necessary a hill I am willing to die on. However, I do want to ask her to delete them so she understands that we are serious, and hopefully, she respects the rules we have put in place regarding social media. The photos have been up for about 6 weeks at this point. AITA, if I ask her to take them down and check with us before posting photos in the future? Oh yeah, we have a private photo sharing app that both of our families have been invited to and can see hundreds of photos that we, as the parents, share on an almost daily basis. My MIL literally has access to thousands of photos that are digitally backed up.Edit: For some more context as to why we have the rule in place to begin with. My husband works in cyber security as a red team operative. Basically, an 'ethical hacker' where his team is hired to steal information from companies then write reports on what they were able to steal and how so companies can fix the vulnerabilities before being hacked for ransom. So he's pretty sketched about having personal info online at all.I work in emergency medicine and have had/seen/heard terrible stories of SA and trafficking and how it was something as simple as "sharing a location" while at a restaurant or park and having a public profile. Also, just reading the messed up articles about digital kidnapping, stalkers, deep fake porn, or pedos saving the photos for fantasies. My career has led me to be extremely cautious in a lot of things in my life, with social media being a big one.

AITA for asking my MIL to delete photos of my child of fb?

NTA

10t6rpf

In 24f whos infertile and got a cat around 12 years ago and died last night. Today my sister visit and saw I was crying and then I told her the news and her reaction was it’s not as bad as losing a kid. My sister has three kids she never lost one and she also said that I had my other cat. The problem is my cats are the closest thing I can get to my own kid and I had her since I was 14 she is super special to me and can’t and won’t be replaced.I got angry and told her how my cat was the closest thing I had to a kid and how my cat was like family . Shorty later my sister left and then my mother and cousin with kids didn’t stop texting me how losing an animal is nothing like losing a child and I should be ashamed. I’m crying more and more AITA?

AITA For Crying Over My Cat

NTA

10ua5w8

Hi, I'm not sure how to start this but basically me and my group of friends had this gc where we chat. My friend who I'll refer to as "K" for now is queer, and him and I are friends with 2 other girls. We're all somewhat queer.One saturday we were chatting about normal stuff that happened in our day, i was telling them about intrusive thoughts and how my mom is following her intrusive thoughts. (She was forcing herself to fit in the cat cage)We were laughing about it but suddenly K sent "🏳️‍🌈?" as a reply and we were confused. I said "i don't get it" but he ignored me and just sent laughing emojis.The conversation continued and said "my mom is trying to hard to make herself fit" to which K replied with "lol i was thinking of something else😏😏🏳️‍🌈" (sexual innuendo intended)I got irritated and said "K stop that's my mom" but he continued and said "hehe"I've had enough of it so i said"K the way you make everything sexual isn't funny nor is it amusing"But he brushed me off and sent a crying cat picture. I continued to tell him that stop making everything gay and sexual because its not funny anymore.He just continued to sent crying memes while i was setting my boundaries about making sex jokes.Now I make sexual jokes in that gc sometimes but usually stop when people tell me they're uncomfortable with it. But K kept going and telling me "oh but i learned it from you guys" (he was a very innocent guy before he met us and he recently realised he was sorta queer too bcs of us)I wouldn't be mad if it was a sexual joke about anything else but i was mad about it because it was about my own mother.So i got really angry and said "K stop making everything gay just because you don't have any personality"And told him "as much as i hate my mother i don't appreciate you making sexual jokes about her" i told him his jokes are not funny for the nth time but he would not take me seriously.So i left the gc, but he added me back and said "Wow she has ressurected!" and still made jokes about my anger. My other friend lectured him too about boundaries but he suddenly got real quiet in the gc.He was typing for a very long time then he suddenly said (this is a direct copy paste)"Kayo din naman eh 🥹(you guys are the same) ...whenever i try to start a proper conversation..i get IGNORED, But if i talk abou "𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘈𝘢𝘠𝘺" 𝘪 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘞𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, Y'all Talk about your own 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 i try my BEST to understand all of you... But if i try to share mine... It's always "Stop".... Y'all never figured out WHY i tell😰😓" those jokes"?"Before he left and unfriended me on every platform. I don't think I ignore him at all, i only frown at his occasional bad joke but I'm not sure because that's what he felt. And my other friend also said i was kinda harsh when i was lecturing him so i kinda feel like an AH so pls help me.EDIT: thank you for your replies, I still kinda feel bad about what I said so I'll apologize to him about that. But how do I get him to stop avoiding me? He refuses to talk to me or associate with me at all and me and my friend have no idea what to do

AITA for telling my friend he only makes gay jokes because he has no other personality?

NTA

10ujlau

Okay, so a little body context; I have a friend with whom I have developed a "situationship". Let's call him N; N & I are not committed but we have casual fun & we have had a talk about what's on the table & what is not. Each time a new situation arises, I ask his opinion & thoughts on the matter & behave accordingly. One time I was exposed to a situation where I had received unsolicited pictures. It made me uncomfortable since N's feelings were to be considered as well & I felt he'd feel troubled by it. So to clear off any confusion, I asked if sexting & receiving images were alright (eg. prompting explicit photos to be sent from other people, encouraging it, etc.) & he said no. Since we both work at the same company, I requested his help with checking a few files from my side (he works under my peer). I had blamed him for quality issues as he maintains extremely careful checks with her whereas he increases my workload with the quality of checks ensured. This had been going on for the 3 days. Today we got a chance to meet, everything was lightly patted under the dirt & I agreed to myself to let it slide since I'm an extremely strict evaluator as compared to his manager. I had his phone in hand so I decided to change his wallpapers (he doesn't mind me having his phone). But in his gallery, I noticed a snap image of a girl showing off her body figure. So I questioned him about it & he told me she sent it out of the blue & asked to rate it. Viewing an image & letting it go is alright. But viewing it & saving it to the phone- I'm unsure of how to feel about it. This was not told to me either. Since we had ground rules set on this where I tell him everything & ask his opinion, he doesn't do the same with me. His response was "I didn't know I should've asked". This troubled me since I've been asking & do not receive the same sort of consideration.Overall, I had been extremely pissed at the situation & blocked him everywhere except on 1 platform so that he can still ask for help if he needs. Am I overreacting or is this normal?

AITA for getting pissed at my friend?

YTA

10tewd4

I recently gave the ICAI Foundation exam and found out its result today. I had attempted this exam last year too but failed.I have a college classmate who likes to go around asking everybody who gives any competitive exams if they passed or failed. We don't talk much in class just on texts and that too just work related or if she needs notes or something.The 1st time she asked me about this was just after I had given my 1st attempt and found I failed. I noticed that she seemed really excited to talk about this topic and went around asking every classmate of mine who had given this exam what their results were.I thought that even she must have given this exam and wanted to discuss about it. But I later found that she hadn't. The way she jumped from one classmate to another so excitedly wanting to talk about it felt kinda weird to me. But I ignored it.Now, a few days before the results of my 2nd attempt were to be declared, while I was chatting with some of my friends & classmates, she came up to me again and excitedly asked me if I was waiting for the result and nervous about it or not. She also asked if this was 2nd attempt and when I said yes she got quiet and gave me look like she was judging/looking down on me. She did this in front of some of our classmates who I wasn't very close to and didn't comfortable telling this news too.And I was very much nervous about it. I am the type of person who puts much importance on academics, all my life I have always gotten good grades and always did well in whatever academic task I took up. I was so scared about this result that I put it out of my mind and had completely forgotten about it. I acted cool in front of my friends and classmates but inside I was was a nervous wreck.Today I got a message from her asking me again very excitedly if I had checked my results and I had passed or not. She already sent a congratulatory message without even knowing if I had passed or not. She may have just been being hopeful for me, but again I had forgotten about the result date and had a little panic attack reading her message. I quickly checked my result and I had passed.So, a while later I texted her thanks.She immediately asked to see my result page as if she didn't believe me and was acting very condescending. I told her I am not going to show her my results.I didn't feel comfortable sharing that with her and I had a feeling that she was just going to comment on how the marks I got very quite low or how her other friends had gotten more.I asked her why she wanted to see it and she avoided the question and just insisted that I show it to her. I refused again giving no reason why. Now she has been talking about me to her friends and our classmates that I was being rude to her and how I'm probably lying because I didn't want to show her my resultSo, AITA?

AITA for refusing to show my exam results to a classmate?

NTA

10twnhu

I (23f) and my boyfriend(23m) have been together 4 years with no breaks, this year will be our 5th. His dream before we even met was to be someone of change. He couldn’t join the military for skin reasons, he’d need ointment all the time and they don’t allow that so he decided to become a police officer. The problem is that we live in a large city. A city that has frequent protests and crime. He doesn’t have the mindset of some cops, he just literally wants to help but not everyone will see that. I’m truly scared he’s going to get hurt and killed because of this.I told him I’m scared of him getting seriously hurt because of the outrage on police lately, but he says he can change it. I told him he’s kind of ignorant in thinking one police officer doing right will change everyone’s minds and that no matter how much good you do you can still get killed. That pissed him off nonetheless and he hasn’t been talking to me for a few days. Aita for telling him that while I support it, I’m scared he’s going to die? He thinks I am He’s also going to be reading the commentsEdit: Thank you everyone for the responses, we went through them last night and there were some very valid points given, and we both are just thinking I have too much unwarranted anxiety about it and should probably research more. He’s going to still go through with it, as he should. I was the asshole for telling him he couldn’t make a change because sometimes all it does take is one person. He didn’t necessarily think that me saying that was being unsupportive but we both realized it was wrong of me to say nonetheless. As for someone wanting to be a police officer for the power, he is aware of that but it’s just not him. I’ve never seen him as someone who wants power, he is literally just the most caring guy in the world. He already helps our community on his free time, and that’s what brings him to want to do more. We are both going to be looking up on that corruption stuff cause neither of us knew that the “good” police officers are the ones who get fired for speaking out. Well he said he had a general idea, but I’m ignorant in that area. I appreciate all the responses! I’m going to settle down and be more supportive by just shutting up if I have a invalid concern as this one. This is his calling, and it’s not my place to say or do anything.

AITA if I tell him I don’t like what he’s going for but I support it?

NTA

10tlmzz

​(I am using a throwaway because I don't want this in my main account)Hi everyone, I'm an 19-year-old guy who has a 11-year-old sister. My parents both work full-time and they usually ask me to babysit my sister on weekends. I've been doing this for a while now and I don't mind it most of the time, but this weekend I have plans with my girlfriend since she will be away with her family on valentine's day.Here's the problem: my parents are asking me to cancel my plans and stay home to babysit my sister who is also having some friends over, yes I knew I was going to have this problem when I told my girlfriend that we can do stuff for the next couple days, but my parents usually don't mind me being busy and will usually ask one of our neighbors to care care of her, so none of this would be an issue if if I hadn't learned last night that her friends were also coming over, so I need to make them food and whatever else, we couldn't possibly ask anyone else to do that (and yes the girls have come over before so I know how to deal with them, their parents trust me as well.)I understand that my parents are working the weekend, but I need a break from my responsibilities to enjoy my time. I've been working harddd to graduate and get into college lately and I just need a weekend off. I've been looking forward to this for a while now and I don't want to give it up. I've tried to talk to my parents about this and I've told them that I don't want to give up my plans but they don't care. They say that I'm the only one who can take care of my sister and that I need to be more responsible since I don't pay rent, don't have a job, had to redo my senior year of hs (that's a whole other story) and have been living for free.I understand their point of view, but I feel like I've been taking care of my sister a lot lately and I just need a break. I've also suggested that they ask one of their friends or family members to help out this weekend, but they don't want to impose on anyone else. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for not wanting to babysit my sister, but I also feel like I deserve some time to myself. Am I the a-hole in this situation?

AITA for not wanting to babysit my sister and her friends this weekend?

NTA

10tkkns

Obligatory long time reader, first time poster! And i'm on mobile so forgive any formatting issues.So I, 22M live with my partner, 25F and we're struggling for money until she gets paid in just under a week. I cooked her some chicken nuggets, she ate half in her room, and when leaving they slipped down the door, and were caught on the plate. Immediately she gets upset, saying how she can't eat them any more because she doesn't know how clean the door is (she's a real germophobe).After taking her plate downstairs, I scraped the remains into the garbage can, as she was insistent she wouldn't eat them. Maybe 10 minutes go by and she asks me where her chicken nuggets are, so I told her. Now she's pissed because she doesn't have much other food in and had changed her mind. This is rare, due to her germophobic nature- she'll reclean utensils over and over until they fit her standards, and won't hug me if I've been outside.Despite this, I do feel guilty as I was the one pointing out the door was clean, and I knew there wasn't much food left in the house, so am I the asshole?

AITA for putting her food in the garbage

NTA

10tyshw

I (37m) am a domestic abuse survivor. I ended up at this house because I had to escape and my friends showed up for me. I will always be grateful for that. The house is owned by (40m) and also rented out by (32f). For this we will refer to them as M and F.M is very seclusive and has half of the house to himself. As he should. It's his house. F and I share a bathroom but have our own rooms next to each other. Once a week, around 7 or 8pm I will have my girlfriend over. Most of the time we just get takeout to eat while we watch a movie and then fall asleep. And we sleep. Think 11pm to 1pm (don't judge us). The next day I'll make some coffee and we will watch a show or play games until she goes home or we go out for dinner. The entire time she stays in my room unless she has to pee. It's not like we are being loud or obnoxious in any way. I even schedule it so that my roommates are usually gone for work since they get back at around 3am. The problem comes with F. She has an absolute meltdown every time. As soon as she gets a clue that my girlfriend is over she starts cursing and slamming things. She will go to the bathroom, slam the lid down when she's done, stomp across the hall, slam her door, and proceed to bang around in her room. It almost sounds like she's angrily assembling Ikea furniture. All the while I hear her cursing out loud. "Fucking (girlfriend's name)."Before you get any ideas, she has her own boyfriend. I know him well and I am always respectful when I see him. We get along. It's fine with me. If he comes over I just throw in earbuds and read or draw. No biggie. Let them be.I confronted her once and she told me that my girlfriend is loud and makes a mess. To be fair, she does have a loud laugh. I love it. But we are asleep before anybody gets home until after they are already up. The mess part? I was told that there was a tampon wrapper in the bathroom trash. In the trash that I change out every day. Other than that she never even leaves the room because she is terrified of F at this point.On a side note, F will be just fine the rest of the week. But she is hyper-invasive. She just walks into my room and digs through my things to see what I have or look for candy. She will sit on my bed and light up a bowl and rub the ashes she drops into my sheets. I don't smoke weed but it doesn't bother me to be around it. It all stresses me out so bad that we have started looking for our own place. Which we wanted to do anyways. But in the meantime, it just doesn't seem like I'm doing anything to deserve this behavior.EDIT to provide additional information below:I was in a very abusive relationship for a long time. Nobody knew but I eventually cracked and told everyone. Next thing I know everyone is trying to help me. So I end up at this house living with two coworkers. I no longer work with them, but they are still there.M is very private. He owns the house but we mostly leave him alone. A bit eccentric in a quiet way. Never really speaks but sleeps in a tent in his room and cooks things at 4am. He can be very messy, but the kitchen is the only crossover point.F is adventurous. Always needs to be doing something otherwise she spirals into depressive episodes. She got mad once when I joked that she is the classic Hollywood manic pixie type. She has broken up with her boyfriend three times for one week since I moved here. You get the picture.I am a very quiet person. Like weirdly quiet. People crack jokes that I never stop talking. And it's the same living with me. I even walk quietly. Accidentally scare the shit out of people all of the time. I mostly keep to my room. When I eat, it is mostly takeout or microwave. I have my own coffee maker, paper towels, trash, recycling, and dishes. And I wash my few dishes with my own little soap and sponge in the bathroom. Super bachelor style. I only leave my room to piss, shit, shower, or leave the house. On the rare occasion that I do cook (which I miss badly) I will have to clean the entire kitchen first.

AITA for having my girlfriend over once a week?

NTA

10tvo8q

I'm the IT guy for my department (HR), which is separate from the actual IT department. My position is something of a liaison where I assist with technical stuff in many ways, but some thing require special admins to do it, meaning I needed to make a trip to the upper floors to the IT department.Our IT department is just two guys, Rex and Pete (the latter being the one who I needed). I walk in and see that Pete is eating and he asks: "What do you need?"Me: "Oh, I need \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ done."Pete: "Okay, well I'm on lunch at the moment."Me: (jokingly) "It's okay, I'll wait."I plop down on a couch they have in their office and then immediately jump back to my feet.Me: "Just kidding, I'll come back in a while."Pete: "No, I'll do it now."Me: "It's not necessary, I'll just come back."Pete: "I've already got the system open." (clicks a few things) "There, you're all set."I thank him and I leave his office. Two days later, my manage calls me into my office. Pete has put in a complaint about me for interrupting his lunch and asking work to get done. I tell my manager I'd made a simple joke, I'd clearly stated it was a joke, and that I'd said I would come back, but Pete had insisted he'd take care of it while I was there.According to Pete and my manager, I was being the AH for interrupting his lunch, despite Pete asking what I needed, and me making it clear I'd only joked and I could just come back later. So AITA here?

AITA for interrupting my colleague's lunch?

NTA

10t7qas

For background, my stepfather is a CPA and has tons of sensitive information on his computer, including my own SSN as well as all of his clients sensitve information. I (21F) told my stepfather (74) that he had fallen victim to a gift card scam after he informed my mom he had been buying gift cards and giving away codes. He didn't believe me or my mom and continued to speak with the fraudsters on the phone, he believed they are from "Paypal” and they also got him to put all his money in Bitcoin and more gift cards by lying and saying it was to “protect his money.”He comes back after being gone for a while, and asks me if I know how to reach the command prompt on his computer. I refuse to show him unless he tells me why he needs to. He says that the people on the phone have asked to see his computer, and have had access to his computer for a couple of days. I tell him absolutely not and he ignores me, and goes back talking to the fraudsters on the phone. I raise my voice more, telling him that it he is being scammed. He mocks me by telling me that "oh so you think you know everything". At this point, I am just desperate for him to listen and so I yell at him to shut up, you are being scammed. He just says "you can't speak to me that way, or I'll cut you off of the phone bill.”I tell him "fine, because that won't change the fact that you got hacked." He still keeps talking over me about how he knows what he is doing and that I have no clue what I am talking about. Meanwhile I try to explain why it’s a scam, but I tell him to shut up again multiple times because he refuses to listen. Each time I stop taking, he says that I can't tell him to shut up, and I'm not being nice.I tried the civil way as well by sending him and article about the gift card scam, but he hasn't responded to that. He thinks that I need to apologize because I was being disrespectful to him by yelling and telling him to shut up. And I don’t think I need to because I am not wrong about him being scammed. He also has a history of never listening to the women in the family until he faces consequences. For example, my mom and I told him not to let my ten year old brother on his computer. He didn’t listen and mocked us, until my brother spent $3000 on roblox, so now my brother has no access to his dad’s computer.

AITA for yelling at my stepfather after he got scammed and possibly hacked?

NTA

10tscf5

Me and my boyfriend of 11 years live in a decent inexpensive apartment with our 2 month old. My in laws sold their home due to financial issues and are living in a hotel, due to having a large dog they can’t find an apartment and plan to never get a home again. Right now it would be to much for all 5 of us to live in our apartment together plus my own apartment building does not accept dogs. My boyfriend told me that when we get a house he would love to renovate our downstairs and keep his parents from renting and move them in and they would give us a small amount towards our future mortgage payment. I was shocked we had never discussed parents moving in when we talked about owning a home one day and I told him I never planned to live with either set of parents. This would also not be temporary this is permanent.I told him I don’t want to live with his parents, they are nice people but I never thought of having them live with us forever without ever experiencing my home as my own first? I also am someone who needs their own space and having privacy in my home is important to me.He told me I was selfish because he’s not going to let his parents be homeless if he could stop it and inevitably they will be when they can’t pay for the hotel anymore with the cash from their home. They are terrible with money and will deff not be able to pay for their future apartment. I told him I don’t want it, it will ruin us and he can have fun separating our family while tending to his parents who I think our selfish to even have this expectation of him. AITAH

AITAH for not wanting to live with my in laws.

NTA

10tvlr9

I (23F) live with my parents (50s) and brother (24M), and am about to celebrate my one year anniversary with my boyfriend (23M) next month.To make a long and annoying story short, my boyfriend is not allowed to sleep over at my house, even when my parents are out of town (which is quite often). He’s not even allowed in my room when he visits, and we usually hang out in the basement.As annoying as this would be in any case, I wouldn’t really have a problem with this rule if it weren’t for the fact that this rule applies only to me and not to my brother as well. My brother had a girlfriend (that he recently broke up with) that was allowed to spend the night whenever she wanted. They started dating when my brother was 20 and were together for 3.5 years, but she started to spend the night early into their relationship (maybe about a month or two in). At one point her parents moved her elderly grandmother into her room when she became ill, and as a result she lived with us for six months. In my parent’s defense, this was not discussed beforehand. She just came to spend the night one day and didn’t go to her own house to sleep for 6 months straight. But they accommodated her without question, giving her a key to the house and a garage opener, and treating her like another member of the family and the household. It hurts me to know that this sort of kindness and acceptance would never be extended to my boyfriend.I try my best to suck it up and abide by their rules, but it has caused so much resentment in me that we have arguments about it occasionally. Especially because they get upset when I sleep over at HIS house and tell me that I’m not allowed to stay at his past 10pm on a school night (this used to be the rule in general, but I stood my ground and told them not to bother me about coming home early on the weekends. Even then, I still am home before midnight). They even get mad at me when I go to his house too many times in a row, and they say that he is the man, so he should be coming to visit me. I tell them that they’re being sexist and I’m only getting this treatment because I am a woman and that I don‘t want to hear their complaints because it was never an issue when my brother was doing it. Their response to this is, “It’s not because you‘re a woman, it’s because you’re a DAUGHTER and you will never understand until you have kids.”Before anyone asks or mentions it: I cannot move out. We live in a very expensive city and I am a full time graduate student. I am very financially dependent on my parents right now. They are great and generous parents, but this is a huge point of contention between us.I will continue to follow their rules, and deal with them being upset when I break their weird rules about visiting him. I just want to know if my frustration is valid or if I’m being a complete brat. Am I the asshole?

AITA for being upset that my parents wont let my boyfriend spend the night?

NTA

10t0b7o

My wife & I have kids between 11-15 years old. Today I took her to the dentist because she broke a tooth. She had it pulled & a fitting placed (don’t know the exact term but it’s temporary until a full replacement). She’s very anxious about the dentist, so I was with her, reassuring her, handling the paperwork, driving her to & from, got her pain meds & antibiotics, and I’m taking all the parenting duties for the next 2 or so days.So, what did I do wrong? I told my kids, “mom had a tooth pulled. Please let her rest this weekend, if you need anything ask me.”I knew she was (weirdly) embarrassed about an extremely common dental procedure, so I didn’t mention it to anyone but the kids. While buying apple sauce & microwave mashed potatoes for her, I started getting texts about how I “betrayed” her, how she “fucking trusted you to keep this private,” on & on. I came home to her screaming at me that I was a fucking asshole etc. To be clear: the only people who know are the dental people, presumably the insurance people, my wife & kids, & myself. Also: it’s a tooth extraction?So, am I the asshole for telling my kids my wife got her tooth pulled, instead of just “mom went to the dentist and now she’s in pain”?

AITA for telling my kids my wife went to the dentist?

NTA

10tgctx

I live in an apartment complex that is strictly smoke-free. That means tobacco, tea, cloves, marijuana, even vaping is prohibited. If you want to smoke, it must be done at least 25 feet from any structure. Over the two & a half years we've lived here, one of our neighbors (not sure which) would smoke pot on their balcony, which would waft up into ours. It reeks. I've notified the office on at least five different occasions, but nothing seems to help. Last night, we came home and the *inside* of our apartment smelled of pot. All our doors and windows were closed, and it seemed to have been localized to one of our bathrooms. So I sent the following:>***We just got back from an evening out, and discovered that our entire apartment smells like pot smoke. We have written and mentioned this issue several times in the past about having to smell it on our balcony, and nothing was done. Now there's apparently someone sparking up inside the building, probably because it's too chilly out to stink up the outdoors. My guess is there's a common vent in the guest bathroom, because that's where the smell is strongest. All of our doors and windows are closed, and yet the stench permeates the entire space.*** > >***If you are unable to stop people from smoking in or around our residence, please let me know. I'd be happy to contact \[City\] Code Enforcement. They can be reached at \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. I could also reach out to the \[City\] Fire Marshall's office about the matter. Their number is \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. Better yet, I could drop a line to the local DEA Field Office. Their number is \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. I suspect they would be interested in the conditions here at \[Apartment Complex\]. Or perhaps I should just go straight to corporate. I'm sure you have their number.*** > >***I am insisting that you take immediate action. I pay over two grand a month in rent, and I shouldn't have to come home to an apartment that reeks like a fucking Phish concert. If you prefer, you are more than welcome to pay for our hotel room until such time as this apartment no longer smells like illegal drugs, as outlined in YOUR two-page non-smoking addendum in the lease.*** > >***Please keep me informed as to what actions you have taken, as I will absolutely be following up WHEN this happens again.*** > >***Have a great day.***Friend says I may have gone too far. I made sure it didn't sound threatening. I just wanted to convey the idea that if they couldn't handle it, someone else would be bothered to do their job for them. AITA?

AITA For Complaining About Pot Smoke In My Apartment?

NTA

10ttgkc

So I (22F) have a boyfriend Kyle (23M) that i currently live with. He has 3 friends/housemates and I have been staying with them for about a month. The place I worked at closed for good and I couldn’t keep up with bills for my own apartment so my boyfriend and his friends allowed me to stay with them. I have been trying to get a job, I’ve been applying to places and searching online but haven’t gotten any response. Kyle and his friends have been very understanding of my situation and have told me to not worry about rent until I can get a job. Since I haven’t gotten a job yet, I’ve been doing what I can to help around the house with chores and cooking. I do dishes, laundry and other things like that when they are working and I make food for them a lot. I have some money saved so i spend some of it on buying the ingredients for the food I make. I make whatever they ask for even if sometimes they want different things. I always make a lunch for them to bring to work and then also either dinner or breakfast every day. Kyle has no issue with me making lunches for his friends and he think it’s nice of me to do that. His friends are always very nice and thankful for the food, sometimes if they want something specific they’ll buy the stuff for it themselves and ask if I can make it. Recently Kyle and his friends invited some of their family over for dinner. Everyone took part in making and bringing food for the dinner. Kyle’s parents were there and they had asked how I was doing living with the guys here. I told them how I was doing good and that I’m still hunting for jobs but haven’t gotten any luck but that the guys here have been very nice to me. Kyle and his friends chimed in and talked about how I do chores and make food for them. They explained to them how I make specific food for them a lot and praised me for it. After the dinner when we were cleaning up, Kyle’s mom came to me and asked why I’m acting like a housewife to Kyle’s friends. I asked what she meant by that and she says I shouldn’t be acting like a housewife for all the men I come across, that I have a boyfriend and should be focusing on him. I told her I do focus on Kyle, that me and him share a room and spend time together all the time when he isn’t working. She wouldn’t listen and said I’m putting his friends over him. I ended up just walking away and that made her more upset. She later texted Kyle and told her how rude I was to her for ignoring her. Kyle asked me what happened and I told him what she said to me. He confronted her and said she should mind her own business but she said she was just defending him. Kyle’s dad agrees with his mom and thinks I’m doing too much for his friends and not enough for Kyle. AITA?

AITA for cooking and doing chores for my boyfriends friends?

NTA

10uued9

So for context, I am a transgender (female to male) teenager in the southern region of the united states. My parents do not know and neither do most adults. I am in high school and am out to most (if not all) of the students in my grade. Since my parents don’t know, there are often times I have to dress feminine because I have something to do after school or they want to take pictures to remember some special occasion. Therefor, there have been a handful of days (I want to say like ten max) where I have showed up to school in dresses, blouses, skirts, etc. While I understand that doesn’t effect some trans people, it causes more dysphoria for me. It was spirt week which meant my parents wanted pictures so I had to dress feminine. This particular day was early 2000s stereotypes (I could be wrong but it was something along those lines.) I was wearing a skirt, knee high socks, a stripped white tee shirt, and a varsity jacket. I hated the outfit to all hell but I couldn’t really complain. I went through 90% of the day with the occasional stare and whisper but that was about it. Until 7th period. I walked in and one of my friends, we’ll call him Eric, called me over to sit down. When I sat down Eric looked at me . “Hey, Jessica (not their real name) has been going around saying you are ‘faking being trans.’”I was shocked. Me and Jessica got along pretty good so I had no idea why they would say that. This is important later, Jessica is non-binary. I always saw Jessica at the bus stop so I decided to confront them. I said something along the lines of “Who tf do you think you are going around telling people that I’m faking being trans?” A they explained that it was a mockery of the trans community that I come to school dressed in skirts if I “claim to be ftm.” I will be the first to admit that I probably got a little too mad. “Excuse the fuck out of me? It is not your fucking place to tell me my own identity. I have a reason I have to dress like this but frankly that is non of your business. I’m sorry that your parents don’t love you and to feel validated you have to pick on other people but I promise you there are better ways to solve your daddy issues.” After I said that they stormed off and their little group kept bother me and trying to make me feel bad. I can see how I was wrong but was I really the asshole?

AITA for confronting someone for calling me “fake trans”

ESH

10u3bov

Sorry if this isn’t formatted correctly this is my first time posting My(18f) bf(19) recently got his N, before this id constantly can to his house which was around $20 one way. He told me when he got his N , I wouldn’t have to pay for cabs anymore. Also when he’d cab to my house which wasn’t as often as I’d go to his, I’d almost always pay for his. Before this incident I’m about to go into he offered me his card to pay for a cab since I couldn’t afford one due to my cat getting sick and he had a huge vet bill. Then I get to his house and he asks for the money back when I get paid.Well the other day he picks me up and right before he picks me up he asks me to give him $10 for gas money, he is driving his sisters truck. He told me that it’d be 20 for gas just to drive me from work to his house. He says I’m paying for half. I feel like that isn’t right. It’s a 10 minute drive. I usually wouldn’t care but it sounded like a lie. There is no way it’s 20 dollars. Well now two days later I finally fully confront him and I did do some research as I don’t know too much about cats but I took into account the truck model the cost of gas per litre the engine efficiency and MPG and everything I found a calculator online. It says that he was definitely lying about it.I asked him to show me a photo of his purchase of gas on his bank app but he sent me a cropped photo of some numbers and I asked for the full photo he refused. And is now saying his sister lied about how much it was but I don’t see why I should pay for it, especially when he was the one who offered to pick me up.Now we are arguing about it and he has brought his dad into it who is now saying ”You can fill up their truck next time if you're that delusional”Exact words.

AITA for complaining about having to pay my boyfriend gas money.

NTA

10ua4br

I am 19 years old . Woke up this morning to her yelling at me accusing me saying I broke her clock . It was chipped.She’s saying I must pay for it to be repaired . I refuse to do so . Got into a small argument , I called her some bad names .We already have a very toxic relationship . It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s the one who broke it and doesn’t remember . For example , my brothers gave both her and me some money for Christmas , she misplaced hers and accused me of taking hers by accident which I know I didn’t because I know how much my brothers gave me as I counted it . 2 hours later after lots of arguing I found hers misplaced hidden behind a Christmas ornament . I do not recall hearing her clock ever fall off the mantelpiece or moving it . So I don’t see how she has any proof that I’m the one who broke it I honestly can’t stand that b****Here’s why I might be the asshole : I called her bad names . I don’t see anything wrong with that though , she’s never been there for me . She’s always putting me down , used to never let me have more than 1 shower a week when I was at high school i so I got badly bullied . Even now she only lets me have 2 showers a week (I do take some behind her back and at gym)

AITA for refusing to pay for my Mum’s clock?

NTA

10u4ttg

We know a family from our church and the wife is letting her sister stay with her and her family while she is in university. They have a young son and the woman is expecting their second child soon. We have two children and the sister has been our go to babysitter for a year and a half now. She is great and the kids adore her. We thought about asking her if she wanted to live with us since we have much more room than her sister's family. She approached us last month and said that when her sister gave birth she would be watching her nephew while her sister was at the hospital. She asked that if by chance our plans overlapped with the child birth if she could bring her nephew with her while she watched my children. I said I would think about it and talk about it with my husband. He thinks it's fine. I'm not sure. If we are paying her she should only be watching our kids. I don't think she can give attention to three children and the boy might be distracted by his siblings birth or make a mess. I don't know. I offered the compromise that we could bring our children to their home for babysitting. I thought this was fair since we would be responsible for taking them over and picking them up and we would have to deal with waking them up. She said it's not her house and that it is really small and not set up for that many kids. For example they only have one tv. So if one child wants to watch a movie the other ones can't play on their switch. The baby is due right away and we tried to book her for last night. She said she couldn't make any guarantees because the baby could come at any moment and she didn't want to cancel on us at the last minute. I told her that the rest of her family could watch the boy at the hospital. She said that she is staying with her sister because the family does not live here. I don't know why her mother isn't already here to help. My mother stayed with us for a month before each of our children and two months afterwards. My husband is mad at me now for just not allowing her to bring her nephew and I am considering it. But I don't think I'm wrong.

WIBTA if I don't allow my babysitter watch her nephew in my house.

YTA

10sud8l

**ATIA for starting a bathroom remodel for my daughter COMPLETELY FREE and stopping and pulling materials after her husband slammed the door in my face?** My daughter was pregnant and wanted her bathroom redone. I have 2 contractors who are very close friends of mine. I offered to remodel her bathroom 5 months ago but her husband declined. Then a month before she was due, they asked if we could do it. I scheduled it with contractors, even though she was very close to her due date. (We told her she should wait). Regardless, she wanted to move forward. We started on Saturday and Wednesday night she tells us she is being induced the next day. We work as fast as we can and get to the point where we are hooking the toilet back up and ready to set the tub. Then my contractor that does the plumbing gets covid. So with a newborn at home by Saturday, I don't want him in the house obviously. So daughter and husband come home Saturday morning and I suppose the guys didn't sweep well enough so she loses her shit and starts crying about how the bathroom isn't done and the house is a wreck. Spoiler: They live in filth, it was always a wreck. Anyways, I wait til Monday to reach out to her to see if we can come over to finish. She tells me they already have a guy coming to install the toilet and that she would like her car keys back. I drive over to drop off the keys, and her husband is waiting for me at the door. He grabs the keys and slams the door in my face. Okay, so my daughter texts me later that day and says that she's going to have a contractor finish the rest because we lied to her about the timeline and I am holding this project over her head. I am furious now, so I calmly tell her that I will be back that day to pick up anything that hasn't been installed and they can finish as they see fit. I figure, if her husband can slam a door in my face when I am trying to gift a 10-15k remodel to them, then I don't need to supply materials for this anymore and they can figure it out. He then texts me "F#$% you you ruined my paternity time. I want nothing to do with you. You'll never see your granddaughters again." (a longer string of insults but you get the picture.). I calmly responded to him that it sucks to use your kids as a weapon on their grandparents, but he had to do what he had to do. Now his mom is calling us because they cannot afford the remodel AND he stays off from work like planned. My thought is why should I gift anything to a guy to who I've already given 10's of thousands of assistance when he talks to me like that? I feel like I'd be a chump. Also, side note, we offered to have them stay with us while the bathroom was being completed. It would have been done 3 days later than expected.

AITA for starting a bathroom remodel for my daughter COMPLETELY FREE and stopping and pulling materials after her husband slammed the door in my face?

NTA

10tz7rn

To preface this story it happened a few years ago but I still think about it from time to time and wonder could I have been wrong.I had a best friend who basically lived with me while we were in HS. We were inseparable. Like sisters. We had a lot of ups and downs but I’m going to focus on a specific event. My now ex bestfriend had just gotten married. She was having a lot of issues in her marriage and would often project her negative emotions onto my relationship with my then partner. She would go to him for advice every now and then and would turn around and throw the advice he gave her in his face to criticize him with things he was doing “poorly” in my relationship with him. I got tired of getting in the middle of their arguments and I told him it’s your choice to stop giving her advice but I want no parts of this.One day she posted on Facebook “it’s hard to find love in this generation” I saw the post and chose to ignore it as did most of our friend group because we just knew that she was having one of her moments and it wouldn’t be wise to interfere. And it’s Facebook. But my ex Partner decided to comment “you don’t look for love in this generation, you let it find you” I, personally didn’t see anything wrong with his comment. But apparently this sent her off the edge. At this point I was working for a really well known surgeon in NYC who had a strict no phone policy on the job. Thankfully for me, I always adhered to it because this particular day was what ended our friendship. My ex Bestie didn’t like the comment and proceeded to antagonize him through the comments. To which my ex partner responded “you’re a smart girl, you know I had no I’ll intentions with my statement” This lead to her threatening his life by saying she’d get her army husband to “handle” him. Somehow, everyone got involved in the post from her family to friends. He in my opinion rightfully defended himself but I told him, I warned him to not get involved in her nonsense. But he didn’t listen. On a weird turn of events, I was being slandered in her comments with people asking me “how could you date someone like *blank*”I was so frustrated I basically laid into her on Facebook telling her that she needed to focus on her marriage instead of being on Facebook crying every other day and trying to ruin other peoples relationships. Needless to say, she sent a screenshot of what I said to my mom and got my partner kicked out of the house. Everyone told me I was a horrible friend who was choosing her boyfriend over her bestfriend. We haven’t spoke to each other since. We probably won’t ever because I recently found out she was hooking up with him while I was away at college. So. There’s that.

AITAH for basically telling my bestfriend to get over herself?

NTA

10tvt7u

Background: my dad passed away 10 years ago. It wasn't until about 4 years ago when my mom told me about her interest in pursuing a friend's with benefits relationship with my FIL. She openly told me how she wanted to travel the world with him and have sex with him too. She was so nonchalant about it that she couldn't understand why I was upset about it. She totally dismissed my emotions over her interest in FIL and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. I went NC with her for a month as I couldn't take her behavior anymore. I started talking to her again and while she didn't say anything more about it, her behavior was that of a teenager fawning over her crush. Even my husband disapproved of her behavior towards his father. BUT, this week she started again and made a crude joke over my FIL's balls. (Yes, like in his dck and balls). I didn't laugh because it was just so wrong on so many levels. But, of course, my mom dismissed me and said she was just joking and I don't know how to take a joke. I don't think these types of jokes are appropriate when it pertains to my FIL. I did speak with a few of my friends and by them saying "I don't know what to tell you" makes me think I'm right. So am I being the AH here or is my mom?

AITA for not finding my mom's jokes funny about my FIL?

NTA

10u8ez0

I’ve been walking a lot more on the treadmill lately and my mom doesn’t like it when I walk for longer than 3 miles, since I can walk 6-9 miles. I’d detail why she’s concerned, but I don’t want to divulge details about family matters. She also thinks I do it too late at night because when I finish and wash up at night, she says it interferes with her desire to get ready for bed by 10PM, even though there’s nothing stopping her from getting ready for bed before or when I wash up, and she normally spends time on the computer or watches TV until past 12AM. I’ve been making an effort to walk several hours earlier in the day, and I don’t plan to do it for longer than a month (those buddy candies in Pokémon Go won’t find themselves), but it still makes her uncomfortable how long I walk. So AITA?Clarification: in light of previous comments, I guess I'll have to divulge some other information, even though I feel I should not divulge such private information online.1. Mom's concern about me walking too much comes from what happened to my brother, who fucked up his knees in cross country back in high school, but the reason he fucked up his knees is because his body doesn't register pain until it's too late and there's irreparable damage. I, however, can feel everything, to the point that I can't fall asleep if I eat food during the day that my body doesn't like.2. The treadmill is in the garage, nowhere near her bedroom, so the noise is not what upsets her.3. With the exception of the rare occasion when she goes to bed before 12AM in preparation for an early appointment of some sort, I don't disturb her when I wash up in her master bathroom. She just wants to grant me privacy when I shower there, privacy which seems unnecessary considering she doesn't do that when dad showers.4. I would shower at night in the other bathroom I share with my brother, but my bathroom shares a wall with my brother's bedroom, meaning the sound of that shower disturbs his sleep because he always has to go to bed by 10 due to work starting early the following day. Also, the shower in my bathroom is more gross.5. Mom thinks I shouldn't exercise more than the recommended amount of time ([150 minutes of moderately intense exercise per week](https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/10000-steps/art-20317391)) for fear that I would lose weight when I can't afford to. But I have to say that my walking has actually increased my appetite, and my weight increased somewhere between 1-3 pounds from my previous baseline when compared to using a stationary bike for an hour.6. Mom's aware I walk so much for Pokémon Go, but that only increases her desire for me to walk less because she thinks playing is a bad influence/addiction in my life, and that I should put that energy instead toward getting work, despite how difficult it's been since college to get ***any*** work in the cut-throat job market I live in. My doctor, however, likes my improved cardiovascular health.

AITA for walking ‘too much’ on the treadmill?

NTA

10trzhf

So for a bit of context, I am going away with my girlfriends family this summer. My mum works for British Airways so has helped them all get tickets at a cheaper rate. Despite this, I can get a staff ticket from my mum personally, which comes out to about £70 as opposed to £300 that they are all paying. For the past week or so my girlfriend has been demanding I buy my plane ticket for the holiday. I have explained to her multiple times that I would rather pay £70 and take the hit of a random seat than pay £300 just to sit next to her on a 2 hour flight. This seemingly has really pissed her off, claiming she just wants the guarantee that I will get on and sit next to her, rather than for me to wait 2 weeks before the flight to pick up a staff ticket at the 1/4 of a price. There is a slim chance I won’t get on but they are running 3 flights a day to our destination, and I mean SLIM chance I won’t get on. She’s now being rude and blunt, saying “just don’t come then, you’re obviously not bothered” when I am just trying to save a bit of money. AITA for “leaving it last minute” and not having a “normal holiday” (her quotes)

AITA for not buying a seat next to my girlfriend?

NTA

10twlyr

This may get a little long so sorry in advance, also on mobile. Little bit of background for context. I live in a converted house, 2 separate upstairs neighbours and I’m the only one with access to the garden (this part will be important). I have 2 children the eldest is at his dads luckily and the youngest is almost 5 months old.So 1 of my neighbours is a bit of a drunk and he can’t handle his drink, he’s also loud and just generally a very inconsiderate person. On New Year’s Eve he got drunk and somehow managed to drop his phone out of his window into my garden (the layout of his property is such that he would have to have his phone propped up against the window for this to happen). He knocked the next day and asked me to get it, I was dealing with my baby so told him I’d get it when I can. I gave the phone back and told him to not be so careless with his phone near the window.Onto tonight and he did it again. Instead of waiting until tomorrow morning, he decided to bang on my door at half 11 waking me and more importantly the baby. I’ll admit I lost my shit and shouted at him but did say I’ll get it when I can but it won’t be tonight. He kept knocking and after telling him the same thing several times he gave up and I thought that was the end of it.Nope 45 minutes later I hear banging and my neighbours next door scream and start shouting get out, then I hear the idiots voice. Instead of waiting until the morning for me to get it, he decided to hop 4 gardens to get into mine to get it back himself. Where I think I may be TA is, I could’ve just gone and got the phone back for him when he first knocked and avoided him terrifying the neighbours, he hasn’t come back and I’m still trying to get the baby back to sleep over an hour after this first started so I haven’t been able to check if my neighbours (rightly) called the police.Edit. He came back, banged about and went out again presumably to get more alcohol, hopefully not to trespass again but now I can’t relax with the thought of him possibly looking in my bedroom window.

AITA May have got my neighbour arrested

NTA

10t1ria

I (28 M) went to school for computer science and work in tech, where I make good money. In 2021, I decided to pursue my passion for writing, and enrolled in an MFA program. Because my house is relatively close to campus and I enjoy entertaining, I started hosting a casual get together for the cohort (it's small, only about ten people) every month or so and it helped us all become closer friends. The parties are nicer than a dorm party (think wine and cheese) but nothing super fancy. In 2022, a new class of students came in and I invited them to the parties as well. One young woman (22ish F) and I got off on the wrong foot. During our first conversation, I mentioned my trip to Vienna last summer and she said "Ooh, Vienna," in a sarcastic tone. Our conversation quickly tapered off after that. I was embarrassed, because I could see how I might have come off as showing off, but I honestly did not mean for it to read that way. Subsequent to that, she has made it pretty clear that she does not like me, and specifically because I have some money. She is always making snide remarks about how exploitative capitalism and rich people and landlords are (she knows I rent a room to another student). As a bit, she once pretended to be a sommelier and sarcastically appraised the wines I had on the table. I understand that not all of her resentment is directed at me, specifically, but it still feels very uncomfortable. She came to the MFA straight from undergrad and leads a 'starving artist' lifestyle, and I am sympathetic to that, but several of the other students share similar circumstances and political views, and I have never felt the same way around them. For the past few parties, I've hoped she would just not come, but she has attended every gathering. I have become a lot more self-conscious about what I wear, what food and drink I serve, and what I say in conversation, and it's honestly just exhausting and not fun to host when she is around. So, I would like to explicitly stop inviting her. It will definitely create a little drama, since everybody else is still invited. Over the past two years, these parties have almost become semi-official events for the students in the program, so it definitely feels strange to exclude exactly one person. I know that it's ultimately my house and my party, so I am perfectly within my rights, but I also realize that I'm coming from a place of privilege, so I wanted a gut-check. I'm sure she will just take it as confirmation that I'm the rich asshole that she already thinks I am, but does Reddit agree?

WIBTA if I stopped inviting a poorer student to my parties

NTA

10twsi9

i (32m) and my partner Bill (30m) rented a house and threw a belated party/wedding reception for ourselves that lasted several days. we had a very small wedding due to funds, so this was a chance to properly celebrate.we agreed it would be for adults only because we were renting a house, providing alcohol, etc. it was extremely important to me that no kids be around. Bill didn't agree with my opinion but he knew how i felt, and agreed to limit the guest list.i ended up not feeling well and left a day early. when i left, Bill invited one of our friends to bring their kids over (6 and 5 years old) to hang out for the rest of the time. nothing bad happened and everyone had a good time.the next time we saw the kids, one of them mentioned something about the fun they had at the party. i asked Bill if it was true, and he said that it was. Bill explained he didn't plan to invite them, but he was sad that I was leaving early, and decided to cheer himself up by having the kids over. He said that he did not ask me beforehand because he knew I would say no, and he didn't tell me afterward because he knew I would be upset.I think he was being selfish to break a promise and lie to me; he says that I was being unreasonable to want an adults-only event when I wasn't even there. AITA?

AITA for being upset about being lied to

YTA

10tux5h

English is not my first language.I come from a old, wealthy family with a military tradition, so a lot of emphasis on a traditional depiction of masculinity, strength, duty, and so on.My dad's the head of said family, and he has two sons-- my brother \[25m\] and I \[24m\]. My dad's path was pretty classic-- university, stint as a military officer, now is mostly semi retired and lives off the money streaming in from inherited properties.Neither of his sons were quite as traditional-- my brother was always too unathletic and lacked toughness, I didn't care about following tradition or the rules. Regardless, I grew up as the 'favorite' child because I was more athletic and bold whereas he was more bookish. My brother cared a lot more about impressing our parents, both out of genuine desire for affection and because he wanted to inherit property, than I did, so he was in a consistent quest to impress our parents: first by getting into Yale, doing a stint in the military, and now attending Yale Law School. For reference, he didn't particularly like the law, but did it as a way to impress our parents.I had gotten into some good schools such as Oxford and Williams, but chose to forgo that by enlisting in the military and becoming my country's equivalent of special forces for a little while. The reasoning behind that is that if I followed my family's path, it would have been easy and boring, and I wanted to put myself in more struggle to truly test myself. Anyhow, I completed a contract doing that, decided doing it long term wasn't for me, and now spend most of my time learning Muay Thai and mountaineering.My parents are intent on giving me the inheritance because they see me as, despite being wayward, more tough and brave than my brother. All things considered, he's on his way to his second degree, and I have none, and plus he cares a lot more for it, so I'd give the inheritance to my brother, but my parents are steadfast.A little while ago, my brother visited home and remained stubbornly determined to impress our parents. The issue with this was that this obsession is preventing him from living his own life. He's so focused on winning the approval of somebody who's already given up on him that it's preventing him from truly pursuing his own happiness. He's going through law school, which he doesn't enjoy, he served in the military, which he didn't enjoy, and so on. So I told him truthfully that he will never be approved of by our parents, because they made up their minds years ago, and that they also made up their mind to not give him the inheritance years ago. So, since he's a smart guy who regardless of the inheritance has more than enough money to do whatever he wants, he should stop obsessing over a lost cause and do what *he* wants.This caused him to lash out at me and call me TA. I think I'm just being honest in telling him the truth that he needs to hear.Edit: I have defended my brother when he is insulted by my parents.

AITA for telling my brother he should give up on being approved of?

YTA

10u56yg

Long story short, I have been with my BF for over four years. When he first met me, I couldn’t boil water. Not even a huge exaggeration. He cooked for us for probably our first two years daily, and was so patient and kind with me.I had never wanted to learn how to cook, but I found myself asking him questions, offering to help, etc over the years. We had a big setback when I accidentally caught our whole grill on fire and almost had to shove it into the pool. Whoops.Now onto the conflict. I’ve taken over cooking for us, and from observing and learning, he’s now dubbed me the Grill Queen. I’m generally a better cook now, and it’s probably because I’m anal and do not let my eyes off anything (see grill incident above, I learned my lesson).Tonight for dinner we did super simple seared ahi tuna steaks. My BF got the pan hot, got the oil in, and I put his tuna in. He prefers his more medium rare, so I cook his first as I like mine barely seared. My BF then complained to me for a while about how I didn’t let the pan get hot enough. I know it was fine, especially for his longer cook time.This wasn’t the first instance of me cooking, and him micromanaging. I got frustrated and told him maybe it’s best that he cooks for the next few days as I’m not doing it right. He huffed and puffed, finished cooking his tuna, and told me it was ready for me to sear mine off.I was frustrated, and it was a quiet dinner.I want to ask if I’m the AH because while I have cooked every meal for us for 2+ years, my BF taught me all the basics about cooking and maybe I should have just accepted that the pan wasn’t hot enough.

AITA for stopping cooking dinner?

NAH

10tnd5u

This morning I was getting ready to leave the house and head to class. I was planning to take the bus which leaves three blocks from my house and drops me two blocks from class. It’s one bus line and the fare is $2My roommate offered to give me a ride, and since it’s really cold here this weekend I accepted.Several minutes into the ride she turned to me and said “how much would an Uber be, give me half of that to cover the gas.”To be clear, this Uber would have been well over $20, it’s a long ride.I told her that if I had known before accepting the ride she wanted over $10 I would’ve just taken the bus. I thought she was offering as a favor/nice thing to do. The transactional nature of the ride didn’t come up until we were already on it.AITA for not giving her the money?

AITA for refusing to pay my roommate gas money

NTA

10tv3kh

My(28F) friend(31F) got back into dating last year. She's always dated losers and this time around she asked myself, my husband, and our social circle if we knew any single guys who had themselves together. Our group was able to set her up on a number of dates and she always has the same two complaints. We offer advice when she asks but she doesn't take any of it and keeps doing the same thing over and over.Frankly, I think she's being unrealistic with the reasons she's passed up some of the better guys she was set up with. It's been getting tiring hearing the same complaint over and over again when she won't listen to reason. I've started to tell her I don't mind listening to her talk about a bad day or a bad date specifically but if it's her usual complaint, don't bother, especially if it's going to be about a guy my husband and I know. She called again yesterday and started to complain about why a guy my husband introduced her to wasn't cutting it for her, same complaint as always basically verbatim so I told her I didn't want to hear it and hung up. She put me on blast in our group chat about not caring about her. I do care about her, but I don't want to hear her complain about people I know. I'm also a person that doesn't do well listening to people complain about the same thing over and over yet refuses to do anything to try to get a different outcome.

AITA for hanging up on a friend when she started complaining about the same thing again?

NTA

10ts9ag

A little background: I(m36) had oral surgery on Thursday, tooth pulled, some jaw repair, and bone graft. It was an outpatient procedure and I'm home with my kids (single parent with 3 kids). I'm in a decent amount of pain, and I don't take painkillers for a few reasons. My girlfriend (w33) got out of work early and messaged "want to do something fun?" I responded with "Would I like to? Yes. Am I able to? No. I'm still in a lot pain and struggling keeping up with kids and chores."Her response was "have a good night I guess"Am I the asshole for not really wanting to hang out while in pain and struggling with my daily routine? I already feel bad about my kids having a boring weekend and me not being able to do anything fun with them.

AITA for not wanting to hang out after surgery?

NTA

10tqbur

My parents and I got into a fight. I'm 24, parents are 50+ The phone I've had, I've had for over 2 years and it is fully paid off. I told my parents about a month ago that I was getting a new phone number for the phone and to cancel the one they had on their account. Even though we were all fighting, my parents did not have any issues with this. Fast forward to today, the fighting got so bad I told them not to contact me anymore. My dad told me that I need to give him the phone back so they could send it back to cancel the number. We have the same provider, so I had told him that the provider told me that wasn't necessary to cancel the number and there shouldn't be any cancelation fees. My dad then said that I was obligated to return the phone because I was picking and choosing when to be independent. I pay for my apartment, car, car insurance, gas, and paid to set up the new line (which I absolutely should do because I'm an adult lol), so I told him that I would be more than willing to pay for the month of service that he had even though both he and my mom knew I was no longer using the line. I have made payments for the phone in the past to my mom for the line, but my dad said he never got any money from me, which is a lie because I have texts from my mom proving that I was required to pay money to her in the past. I did not pay off the phone, my dad did. He made majority of the payments.I went to the provider's store today just to make sure I wasn't obligated to return the phone, and they had said that since the ownership of the phone had been transferred to me, there wasn't any reason why I should give the phone back. My dad just wants to send it back because he is mad at me, but I want to keep the phone I have because I can't afford a new one, but mostly because I'm afraid that old messages will not be able to be transferred. I feel like my dad only wants the phone back to punish me because a month ago, he was fine with me getting a new number. I might be the asshole because my dad paid for most of the phone. AITA?

AITA for not returning my phone

NTA

10u1qql

first things first, i am writing this on behalf of my mom, who does not have reddit! My mom (39F) has been friends with Jane (29F) for over a decade. They became friends through church and have a very sister like relationship. My mom loves photography and makeup, and is by no means professional, but she is very good, and did photography shoots for Jane when she graduated high school, her undergrad, and so much more, as well as doing her makeup. Most recently, Jane asked my mom to do her makeup for her wedding, coming up in April. My mom told her that her wedding is really important, and she should probably hire a professional for it, but Jane insisted she do it as it would mean a lot to her. So yesterday my mom did Jane’s makeup for her engagement pictures, and today for her bridal shower, and will be doing it again in April for her wedding. The only dilemma she faces now is if she should be getting her a gift for the wedding, since she has and will continue to do her makeup for free, which professionally done can go into the hundreds, and typically at wedding my moms likes to gifts couples a knife set which is close to $200. It’s just rude to not bring a gift to a wedding, especially someone you’ve known for so long, and she doesn’t know if Jane is expecting her to since she is doing her makeup.

WIBTA for not getting my friend a wedding gift?

NTA

10tlavf

I’m (33f) pregnant with our first child and this pregnancy hasn’t been easy. While pregnant I’ve gotten very sick three times. The first time, my husband didn’t even realize I was sick even though he was lying in bed right next to me playing his game. I was in so much pain and breathing so hard I thought I was doing to die. Husband didn’t notice until I yelled at him about playing his game, really loud, right next to my ear. The second time, it was during Christmas Eve. I felt the same way I felt the first time, but worse. Again, my husband was lying next to me trying to coax me into going to his parents for Christmas Eve. When he realized I physically couldn’t do it, he said he would go to “drop off presents.” Apparently, dropping off presents and celebrating Christmas with his family was more important than taking care of his sick, pregnant wife. After husband and I fought about leaving me home alone to go to his parents house, he decided/felt forced to stay home. During the night husband was upset and angry and stayed in the living room doing his own thing while I lied in bed. I kept telling him I didn’t feel well and I felt the same way I did the first time I got sick but worse. He didn’t do anything. Around 3am I decided to drive myself to the ER because I couldn’t take the pain and my heart was beating out of my chest. I was worried about the baby. Husband asks me, “where are you going at 3am? It’s freezing outside.” I ignored him and got ready to leave to which he said, “fine, go out in the freezing cold. I don’t care!”Side note, we went to his parents house the next day, on Christmas Day. I felt a little better and guilty so I made sure to go. When we got there his mom says to me, “you know, husband’s younger sibling, didn’t go abroad with his girlfriend because he wasted to spend Christmas with the family.” Husband’s mom made me feel like she blaming me for being sick and keeping her son at home with me on Christmas Eve. I was obviously still under the weather so I didn’t have an appetite. Husband’s dad and mom make me feel like I’m being offensive whenever I can’t eat their food. It’s the cherry on top.Now, I’m sick for the third time. This time I had chills and my body was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t get warm and I had body ache. Husband helped take care of me and massaged me to help me feel better. This was great. I truly felt taken care of for once. Now, he’s telling me he’s going to his friend’s house because they made plans. AITA for wanting/expecting my husband to stay by my side when I’m sick?Edit: I did communicate to my husband each time I was sick that I felt bad and ill. I mentioned it several times each time I was sick. The first time he replied with “try to get some rest.” Which, is hard to do with a gaming console blaring in my ear. I even asked him to leave the bedroom and go to the living room which he ignored. The second time I told him I felt really bad and afraid something might be wrong. I clearly stated I wanted to go to the ER, three times. Each time husband replied, “are you sure you want to go to the ER?” “Is it that bad?” “Do you want to try giving it some more time? You might feel better and we can go to dinner at my parents house.” After this reply (from 5pm-3am) he didn’t bother even checking in on me and stayed in the living room because he was upset about missing Christmas Eve dinner. My husband did not end up dropping off gifts. After waiting it out I ended up driving myself to the ER because I was over the whole situation and still worried there might be something really wrong. I am a high risk pregnancy which is why I had the talk with my husband about not having kids. I didn’t want to be sick and have it harm the baby during the pregnancy nor me. Husband promised he would “be there for me every time I was sick and he really wanted a child.” ER doctor told me my blood pressure was extremely elevated (201/107 hr 172) and said my symptoms were “pregnancy related,” I had tachycardia, and needed two IV’s of bp medicine and two oral tablets to bring my bp down. He also said I was dehydrated and prescribed me Albuterol because I had trouble breathing and started wheezing. Obgyn told me “it’s not pregnancy related, and it could be an autoimmune disorder but I can’t take most/any medicine because I am pregnant.” Each time I get sick it feels like the flu with upper respiratory/Covid like symptoms. I get extreme body ache, fever, chills, and tachycardia. I cannot move from my bed without help. It generally lasts for 3-4 days. I did not mention having nausea or “average pregnancy related pains.” I do not expect my husband to stay home with me 24/7. I’m the one who usually makes him go out and hang out with friends because he’s a homebody. For the past 6 months I got sick 3 times and only expected him to be home with me those 3 times. I was upset because he placed his priority in going to his parents house for Christmas Eve dinner instead of helping take care of me. He made it very apparent he didn’t care about me feeling better and only cared about going to his parents. He sees his family almost on a biweekly basis.

AITA for wanting and expecting my husband stays by my side when I’m sick?

NTA

10u9351

I saw a cute guys livestream on TikTok one day, and for fun I commented “it’s my birthday today” when it wasn’t really my birthday. He wished me happy birthday and I decided to tell the truth and say “I’m just kidding, it’s not actually my birthday” and he laughed and jokingly said “that’s messed up, you just lied to me” and I went on about my day. Like a month later I see the same guy on my fyp, and I comment “hey you’re the guy I lied about my birthday to” and he said in a very serious tone “that’s f*** up, like that’s actually really messed up.” it took me by surprise. I thought maybe he just didn’t remember me so I said “no not about my age, I had joked about it being my birthday when it actually wasn’t” and he said “that’s still really f*** up.” I don’t know why but this made me feel so embarrassed. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong, he laughed at the joke the first time. I cried immediately even though it wasn’t a crying matter but for some reason I just felt so ashamed. I didn’t know if the guy was just weird or if I had genuinely said a bad thing so I decided to make the same joke on some other boys livestream. I said it the exact same way. “It’s my birthday today” he said happy birthday, “just kidding it’s not actually my birthday.” And I was really surprised by this other guys reaction. He said “that’s messed up that you just made me say that.” I didn’t know what to say or do. What was so wrong about the joke I made? Was it really that serious? Does it have some other meaning I’m unaware about? Why’d that first guy laugh at first but then decide it was a f*** up joke a month later? I feel like I’m going crazy over this although it’s not a big deal. I just don’t know what I did to warrant that reaction. I get it if it’s not a funny joke, but is it really so bad?EDIT: I stayed up all night thinking about this. I had made a handwritten apology for this guy, typed it out and sent it to him. I have no response yet but I hope he forgives me. I had asked what it was about my joke that could come across as offensive and I wasn’t expecting people to call me a troll, gross, or immature over this. I wanted an explanation, A reason why he found it funny at first and then changed his mind later, because as I said, he did laugh at my joke at first. Which was all the more reason I thought it was funny. I made a cute boy laugh with it and it was a nice moment.When I saw him again, it’s not like a made the same joke to the same guy. All I did was remind him of how I knew him by stating that he was the guy I made the joke to and THATS when he told me I was fucked up. This is where my confusion is and I wanted it to be explained to me because I didn’t understand it and I felt extremely bad and gross and ashamed.And I had already said how ashamed I felt, I really didn’t need to be called gross. A few people even said I lied for attention but that is NOT true, I didn’t mean it like that, I tried to be funny and make a cute guy laugh, and it worked the first time! I wasn’t trying to be malicious and hurt his feelings, I want people to understand this, I did not want to do that!EDIT 2: so he replied, and he said “lmfao no ur good I was just kidding with you sorry for making you feel bad” so apparently I really WAS just overthinking it and I’m not an asshole 😅

AITA for joking about it being my birthday?

YTA

10snxco

This happened this past weekend. My (M33) wife (F33) and I have a 6 month old kid. My wife and I planned a date night and we hired our baby sitter we've used half a dozen times. The baby sitter (F20) is a college student that lived in our neighborhood and came recommended by some friends that had kids. She came over to our house, we told her our sons schedule, then headed out. We were going to go out for dinner and then meet up with friends for drinks. We have 2 cameras in our house that we can access remotely to check in on our son. One is over his bed and the other is over his play area in the living room. The babysitter knows about both cameras, so it isn't like we were spying on her. My wife gets a notification that there is motion in the play area, she pulls it up to check in. She sees a dog sniffing our son. We are both like WTF. We don't own any dogs and have no plans to ever own any dogs. We try calling, no answer, so we rush home. We go inside and the baby sitter is holding our son and there is a golden retriever just hanging out. Everyone is calm and fine.The babysitter seems shocked we are already home. I ask the babysitter why there is a dog in our house. She says its her golden retriever and decided to bring it today. The babysitter assures us the dog is baby and kid friendly and is sweet and safe. I don't want my son around dogs at such a young age even if they are "sweet" and "safe".I'm getting more and more angry. This was not something she was transparent about and if we knew the dog was going to be there, I would have never okayed it. I just firmly tell her to grab her dog and please leave. I inform her we won't be using her in the future and pay her half her rate we had agreed upon, mostly since we used her less than half the time we were going to be out. She asks for the full amount. I told her no, you put my kid in danger, and you should leave. She says she did nothing wrong, but I don't see it that way. So was i the asshole?

AITA for firing the baby sitter because she brought her dog to my house

NTA

10u8ykq

My brother, cousin and I decided to go to a club outside of town. We get there and we’re dancing having a good time. My brother was pre gaming a little too hard so he was gone 30 min after we got there. I was looking out for him because he was starting fights with people there. My cousin ran into some “friends”. Keep in mind this was the first time I hung out with her in a while so I don’t know who her friends are. By the end of the night it was her and a guy. Me, trying to handle my brother, knew he was too drunk to function so I was trying to leave. I told her that we should leave but she kept insisting that she wanted to stay. I didn’t wanna leave her here so I kept telling her that we should go. It got to a point that she told me that I was ruining her good time. I just wanted her to be safe and come back with us. I was fed up by both of them and told her if you want to stay just be safe. Now I feel like a piece of shit for leaving her there. AITA?

AITA for leaving my cousin?

NTA

10u04ve

For some context, my ex and I broke up around the end of August and he has still been living with me. It’s not a “we’re living together” it’s a “he doesn’t pay any rent or utilities or anything and doesn’t work”. He is also not on my lease. He had a job for a month but was fired/quit because “i interfered” which translates to he was driving my car to work everyday and was being requested to drive around his coworkers to far away locations to make sales and I didn’t want those miles on my car that I have put money into and that I own. For the 2 ish years that we dated, he lived with me multiple times and didn’t work. He milked out unemployment from COVID and when that stopped, he was broke. I housed him after an eviction (I had three roommates at the time and I was almost evicted for letting him stay with me) then he found his own place, then moved back in once I found out I was pregnant (I had a one bedroom by then) and still didn’t work or pay anything my entire pregnancy and postpartum while I busted my ass finishing college and working. Now, I’m just tired of it and tired of being around him. We don’t co parent well when we’re around each other 24/7 (although yes some days we coparent just fine) and he’s told me for months that he’ll be leaving and moving out. We fight a lot and overall it’s a toxic situation. I have threatened 30 day notices for a while but everytime I get close to doing it, I feel bad and he makes me feel bad for it but he’s not doing much to change his situation. He cleans most of the time but only half ass does it then sits at his computer the rest of the time. He claims that I’d be taking his son away from him by kicking him out and I don’t want to take his son from him, I actually want us to coparent well together. But for right now, this shit isn’t working for me; we can’t live together and he won’t move unless I force him but if I force him he’s going to belittle me and tell me how horrible I am. I’m barely scraping by supporting two adults and an infant. AITA?Adding in that if I do kick him out his only options are to go to a shelter or see if he can couch surf with friends in the state over.

AITA if I kick out my BD?

NTA

10u66kv

Throwaway account hereBackstory: So I am a teen (almost YA) female and my mom is a adult. I got a coat over Christmas from an aunt and I have to say it’s probably really warm. My mom wanted to borrow it to go see ice sculptures and I said no. Story: My mom has a Canada Goose which is a bit warmer than the coat I got but she wanted the coat I got because it was longer. I ended up giving the coat to her because it never felt like my coat from the start. When the package arrived, my mom opened it and when she told me it arrived, I saw her trying the coat on and saying that I probably wouldn’t like it. After I put it away, she started texting me and asking me to look up the coat as she wanted one too. After learning about the price, my mom said she didn’t want to buy it anymore. Fast forward a few weeks, my mom comes into my room and asks if I can let her use my new coat. I instantly said no because she has a canada goose and a few other coats, but she started calling me selfish. I have never worn it and in my opinion, being the first to wear something you bought or a gift you got is a part of the experience. I started saying that if she wanted it, I can give it to her since it never felt like mine (read above why if you haven’t already) but if she wanted to borrow it, then it’s a no. Long story short, she now owns the coat and I have my old coat with some minor holes in it. Besides the length of the coat, she also used the price as a excuse. The coat I got was priced at around 900 while the Canada goose she has is only about two hundred dollars more expensive. I texted my sister (YA F) about how absurd the excuse of price was, and she started saying that I was selfish about lending my coat to our mom. I then told her that I gave the coat to her and it’s no longer mine and she had nothing else to say. Aita for not lending the coat and just giving the coat to my mom because the coat never felt like mine?

AITA for not lending a coat to my mom?

NTA

10u0pl7

I’m currently in Southeast Asia with my (24m) gf (28). We’ve met up with a couple of her friends recently. I hadn’t met either of them prior. I really really don’t care for one of them. I’ll call her Vicky. Beyond Vicky and I having nothing in common, she’s directed numerous slights and passive aggressive remarks at me. I also find that she’s slightly entitled and high maintenance, making her annoying to travel with. I should add that I’ve made multiple attempts to engage with her but she often seems disinterested. This has amounted to Vicky having a profoundly negative influence on my mood and ultimately hindering my overall experience. I must admit the possibility of fault here, as my dislike for her likely surpasses what is warranted. Im ashamed to admit that Vicky’s very presence fills me with disgust/contempt. With that said, I have remained nothing but respectful to her (although my attempts to converse have reduced over the last couple days). I’ve told my gf’s friends that I’m going to do more surfing while they travel inland. My gf knows the actual reason behind my departure and thinks I’m overreacting and would prefer if I stick around. The kicker is that Vicky and gf’s other friend are worried about her and I’s relationship and are likely prying for answers. Meanwhile, the actual truth must be concealed for obvious reasons. This puts my gf in a difficult position which I feel guilty about. I’m trying to explain to gf that my departure is not necessarily a reflection of disliking Vicky more than I love her but an attempt to enjoy myself while I’m on vacation. I told gf I’d be with her the entire time but ultimately decided to break that declaration. I understand that relationships require compromise/sacrifice so I’m having some doubt in my decision. AITA?

AITA for ditching my gf on vacation because I can’t stand her friend?

NTA

10u4wbv

ETA: These treatments give me migraines/headaches, nausea, and sometimes vision problems. I go home immediately after to rest.So, throwaway obviously.I, a female have major depressive disorder and PMDD.I have treatment resistant depression and I’ve been doing treatments and they’ve literally changed my life.I have to do these for 6 weeks to get the full benefit and my depression will go into full remission!My boss is now in charge after our director retiring… She is now saying I can’t leave early, because it’s not fair to others because they might want to leave early sometimes.I do my treatments at 4:45 every afternoon because when I got my first treatment I was in so much pain I was almost in tears and I had trouble seeing afterwards.I have an appointment with my OBGYN on Wednesday for my PMDD.If my supervisor says anything should I tell her me seeking treatment and going to appointments are covered by the ADA? (PMDD is also listed as a disability along side depression.)I don’t have any documentation, but I’m sure I can get it from my psychiatrist.Thank you!

WIBTA if I told my supervisor I need to go to appointments and treatment due to ADA?

NTA

10tygrn

A few days ago, my (27f) bf (25m) brought up the topic of having a joint bank account for our bill money to go into. Currently, I send him a specified amount of money each paycheck that goes to bills and necessities for our household. It hasn't been working too well and the money we use for bills ends up going elsewhere. He wanted to make a joint account for our bills so we can manage the money better. I agreed under the condition that my direct deposit would still go into my personal bank account and I would send a certain amount of money to the joint account from there. I told him that I didn't care for whatever financial bonus we would get for having a direct deposit going into the joint account. He agreed and said that there will be no need for a direct deposit and asked me to go ahead and make the account online. I was busy at the time so I didn't do it at that moment.Today after work I decided to make the joint account since I get paid soon. My bf then told me to wait and he would send me a referral link. I then repeated that I wasn't doing any direct deposit so we wouldn't get any benefit from the referral and that I could just go ahead and make the account. He then told me that I should go to my employer and have my paycheck split between the two bank accounts so we can get the direct deposit benefits. I told him I didn't want to do that, I wanted my paycheck to go to my personal bank account and I can divide my money from there and send it to the joint account.He then got angry and told me that he doesn't understand why now all of a sudden I am against the direct deposit. I told him that I had said before that I was against it on numerous occasions. I specified that days ago when he brought up the idea, I said I wasn't going to do a direct deposit. He said he told me numerous times about the benefits of doing the direct deposit and I never brought it up then, but I have. Plenty of times. I explained to him that I would just feel more comfortable and more in control of my money if I have it all going to my personal account first. Especially since his side of the bill money for rent this month disappeared and I had to cover it. He told me that I was lying and that I didn't have to cover his rent. But I did. I told him that originally he told me that not doing direct deposit was fine and the account was just going to be for bills. But suddenly it's a big deal and it's also supposed to be a joint savings account as well as being for bills. He called me crazy for not caring about the benefits of doing a direct deposit in the joint account. I told him I didn't care and just want to have control of my money in case something happens.To his defense he specified that he also would split his paycheck between his personal account and the joint account. The direct deposit benefits are an extra $50 a month and 8% APY. So AITA?

AITA for refusing to do a direct deposit.

NTA

10tzq6m

I owe/d my mother $3.99. She was going to a store where I needed to pick up some cool markers and I gave her what I thought was more than enough for the purchase, but came up a little short. We were out shopping today and she found something that was $8.00 and proposed I buy it and we split it to wipe away the debt. No problem. When I got to the register the cashier seemingly forgot to charge me for it (I bought a lot of other random things too, and it's a big closeout store and things are very jumbled). We were too far away by the time we realized the mistake and the store is very far from where we live.I was content to go through with the original arrangement, but my mom feels that I am in the wrong as I accidentally got the item for free and still owe her $3.99. I contend that I would have (and thought I did) pay full price for the item and had the mistake not been made it is still worth $4.00. My sister just thinks this is funny and would not weigh in (though I think she sides with me). My mom has agreed to abide by the ruling of the internet as have I to decide if money is owed, so Reddit, AITA?Small edit: To clarify, she did not give me additional money today, I was going to pay $8 and give her half of the product. She would still like half of the product and $3.99.Another small edit: My mother and I are close and she's a very sweet lady. No one's upset, just seeking arbitration! This circumstance was unusual given the unforseen circumstance of the ill-gotten item.

AITA for considering a debt paid?

NTA

10tvrha

My (19f) boyfriend (19m) is an amazing boyfriend in all respects. He treats me amazingly and gets along super well w my friend group who are for the most part women and gay guys, he genuinely likes them and even hangs out w them when I’m not there. However, lately he’s been calling me out for acting “fake” and not being myself around them. For context, me and him have both made fun of “tik tok language” before and have kind of a running joke about it, sarcastically saying stuff like “not me doing _____” “slay” “it’s giving ____” “you ate and left no crumbs” using sparkle emojis, etc (No hate to people who use this lingo lol, we personally j have a joke about it and would never make fun of anyone who says that stuff). I don’t ever say these expressions w my friends and neither do they, but he says the way I talk around them is similar to the stuff we laugh about when it’s just us two. I agree that I have a more “feminine” affect and maybe use different tone than I would use with him (calling them “girl,” using a higher voice pitch, don’t really know how to describe the rest of it other than the way I talk is kinda different) but this is 100% unintentional and natural to me. He’s very unapologetically himself in all scenarios which I and everyone else love about him, but from his pov he thinks that I’m trying to be someone I’m not to fit in with them, and that I don’t talk like this around him, other straight guys, or even my girl/gay friends from home (we’re at college). I think he’s being harsh about it, saying I’m “fake” and “he doesn’t even know who I am.” I argue that this is totally unintentional and obviously I’m gonna talk to my female/gay friends in a slightly different syntax than to people of other demographics, and that im just a Gemini moon (lol) and the type of person that subconsciously adapts to the vibe of whatever group I happen to be in, and it never goes as far as changing my personality or doing or agreeing to things I wouldn’t otherwise. AITA?

AITA for acting “fake” around my friends?

NTA

10tlc38

Context. I am a 21 year old female that is currently in grad school. I have had a boyfriend of four years. Recently, I was at a house party and did not have service. I was at this house party for about an hour (it was 8:30 at nigh), then one of my friends came to me a panic stating that my mother was going to call the police if I did not answer the phone. I did not know that I had no service. I call her on one of my friends phones and I realized that she had went to my co workers house trying to figure out where I was. (I messaged her who I was with before I went out, so she knew. Plus before she went to my co workers house, one of my friends told her where i was) so of course, I am pissed. I told her I had had enough of her controlling stuff. My co worker stated that she went to him for advice to file a missing persons case on me(I was only gone for an hour) (This was not the first time she has called everyone over me being “missing” for a hour without service) I told her I am going to move into my boyfriend of fours years house because she is so crazy. She of course flipped her shit. She said my grandma had a full mental breakdown and I am going to kill her of heartbreak because I want to move out of the house. I just want freedom at 21 and not have to be around my phone all the time. Am I the asshole?

AITA for moving out of my mothers house

NTA

10u1rux

I (26m) recently left my friends (21m) paid D&D group. He runs these games as a business to pay for his college courses. My character in this particular campaign had ended up dying and I had started working on a new character. I found out from my friend that the race I ended up picking wouldn't work in the setting his campaign was in.He told me that this point my only options were to either play my dead character, make some changes to the race so it could work, or just outright leave the group. I wasn't too keen on making changes to the race. and had inquired if I could take a hiatus from the group and come back for the next campaign since I spotted a race, I really liked that would work in that one. I was told that since it was a paid group and not a friend's group that wasn't possible as slots are first come first serve. This was when I decided that it would be better for me to leave since I wasn't wanting to pay to play a character I may not enjoy. Fast forward hours later when I ask if he would be interested in joining one of my free games (I'm trying to learn to DM and thought he would be willing to help me out). This greatly offended him as he believed I "screwed him over" and am "messing with his future" by leaving his group when he could have made changes so I didn't have to leave, so how dare I ask if he would join mine. Because if he can't pay for his college classes he will be kicked out and become homeless. I sympathize with his situation and understand how serious it is; however, I've paid him 100s of dollars through his other buisnesses. I did this as a friend wanting to help out a friend. After all of thiat it just feels like a slap in the face to be told I'm now messing with his future because I left a D&D group.There are other people in this group, it's not like he's suddently making nothing because I'm gone. But he's adamant that I screwed him and his future over.So, Reddit, AITA?

AITA for leaving a friends paid Dungeons and Dragons group because my character died and there weren't other races I wanted to play for a new character?

NTA

10u065f

I (26f) bought a house over the summer and had two friends move in to the house with me as tenants. I had them both sign a lease for 12 months of fixed rent. In the lease, there is an option of finding a subleaser if they decide to move out. The subleaser must be approved by the Landlord (me). In October, one of these friends/tenants out of the blue told me that she didn’t want me to be her friend anymore. She said that she didn’t want me to share anything personal with her, and she wouldn’t share anything personal with me. We both were struggling with our mental health at this point, and she said it was too overwhelming to be my friend anymore.In November, this friend decided to move out. Because she wasn’t going to be in the room anymore, I reduced her monthly rent $160. I told her that in January I would actively start looking for someone to sublease her room.I did actively look for someone, but there aren’t many people interested or available. I also feel pretty picky about who would occupy the room, considering what happened with this friend, and I have two dogs. I have turned people down because of this.The friend texted me today asking if I had found someone yet. She asked if I would consider lowering her rent again because I wasn’t finding anyone and I don’t want to sublease the room. I don’t want to reduce her rent again because I wasn’t expecting this to happen and am not financially prepared for it. She also signed a contract saying she would pay for her room until June. AITA?

WIBTA if I don’t want to sublease a room?

NTA

10twy98

I (18F) am part of a friend group made up of 8 people aged 17-19 M & F. One the boys (I'll call him Orange 19M) had a birthday party recently, he invited us over to his house to sleep over, there was no alcohol involved and I checked this beforehand. I have a bad history with Alcohol and while it isn't a direct trigger it heightens all my other triggers, therefore I'm very careful around iy as I'm sure anyone can understand breakdowns and or psychotic episodes tend to ruin an evening.Anyway, I arrived at oranges house and everything went to plan until someone outside of our friend group (I'll call him Apple 18M) showed up, with a couple bags of bottles and cans. As soon as I saw the Alcohol I began to think I would probably have to leave. I went over and I asked orange if he knew Apple had planned on bringing Alcohol and he didn't. So I didn't blame him for it but I did say, "I'm really sorry, I don't want to ruin your evening but if a lid gets removed or a tab gets popped I'll be leaving." Orange nodded and went to chat to Apple. I don't know the content of that conversation. A few hours pass and the alcohol is still sat in a bag in the corner, until Apple goes over and grabs a 6pack beer and begins offering them to everyone. Upon this happening I collect myself say goodbye to Orange and my other friends and I leave. A few hours later I get a text from one of the girls explaining that Apple had began calling me a "Pussy" and a "bitch" for leaving just becuase "there was a little bit of alcohol." The next day I get a text from Orange explaining he though my actions were childish and I shoulve tried harder to stay. The girls are backing me up and saying I was polite and within my rights while most the boys are saying I was unreasonable and that I shoulve just got on with it. AITA?

AITA For leaving an event after someone brought alcohol?

NTA

10ty0ho

I(18M) recently got accepted into a volunteer fire department. And my family isn't happy about it so they told me to tell the Captain to define the offer. We got into an argument how far and windy the road to get there was on top of it being an unpaid fire department. I told them it was a rare opportunity to be a volunteer firefighter especially living in California. But my family said no and I end the end had to tell the Captain I couldn't attend training.Now I was thinking that being a volunteer firefighter would be the only way to step foot into the fire service and WIBTA for finding a way to attend those trainings? I'm working on my fire science degree and now I'm thinking it's going to be worthless if I can't even get any experience.

WIBTA For Finding Alternate Ways To Attend Fire Training?

NTA

10tq3wc

The title might make me seem as the TA but please read to the end. I (F29) work at a pharmacy and I’m the senior in charge, I have a coworker who I truly like working with and she’s mostly hardworking and good at her job, I’ll call Jessica (F26) who happened to work on the evening shift today (I was on the morning shift). After I checked out of my shift she asked me for help before I leave. She had a prescription for a child, it was for antibiotic, the doctor specified how many milligrams per kilograms the child needed. She needed help calculating the dose required and I gladly helped her with it, it was 6 milliliters. She said “okay so it’ll be 5 milliliters” in front of the customer while writing the dosage on the box. I insisted that it is 6 not 5, at the beginning she didn’t want to change it but then she did at the end. After the customer left, I approached her and told her I hope she didn’t get upset by me because of what happened, she said she didn’t but obviously was. She said that I should have backed her up in front of the customer and asked me “who’s more important? Me or the patient?” I, of course, said the patient. She then said she won’t be asking for my help again (in a serious tone) but then proceeded to say it isn’t a big deal to get upset over. I feel bad for what happened and don’t want to lose a good working relationship over this. So, AITA?

AITA for embarrassing my coworker in front of a customer?

NTA

10tz24y

Fair warning... I don't know how this message is to turn out as I am not 100% focused right now but work with what you got? For context, I (20f) and my partner (24m) have been in a relationship for a little over two years now. I have neurological issues, migraines, as well as having ASD. I get overstimulated quite easily and he very well knows this. Especially since we live together. We have tried countless forms of noise cancelling devices and the problem tends to be that they don't fit, work properly, or they break easily. Anyways. We had went over to visit his family for dinner one night and all was going great. Until...a couple hours later, as we were headed out to leave, we found out that two of our tires were flat and we didn't have the materials to fix it at that moment. They pleaded for us to crash for the night or until we figured something out. We both were very grateful. Everybody decides that they are going to bed and we decide to get settled in the separate living space. Well, about halfway into my "winding down" I hear loud music starting to play across the hall and of course I am not fond of it. Keep in mind, it is midnight at this point. I shoot them a little text asking for them to turn their music down a tad while also stating how late it is, as it is difficult to distract from. They deny. I try again. They still deny. At this point I am triggered because I am hearing all sorts of genres playing and its throwing my head in a spiral. I end up waiting a couple hours until its turned off and I began to feel relief about two hours later. I felt discouraged because they know that I get unwell when under an amount of stimulated pressure (said lightly). I didn't expect what was to happen that morning. I was shunned from the family. Disowned. All because I disrespected them by handing them, the homeowners, a request in the middle of the night because I was about to explode. I didn't know it was to be such an issue. They didn't want to see me again, after that, so I left. I tried to apologize but they didn't care. My partner and I are no longer together because well, he was fed up with me being "picky" (not being able to handle certain things) and how I made such a request and "should have known". I am currently walking with all my belongings, to the next town over, as I can't afford ride service so wish me luck on my triggered, heartbroken, endeavors. Did I make the wrong decision?

AITA for telling my partners family member to keep the noise down?

NTA

10txljy

This might be confusing because I mentioned a lot of people but stay with me lol. My dad (42M) is dating my stepmom (40f) who i'm gonna call Jessie after my mom (39F) walked out on us. Jessiehas 2 daughters, Kinsley(17f) and Betty (10f). When me (15f) and my brothers (19,21,24m) first met Jessie,Kinsley and Betty, it went terribly. One of my brothers who i'm gonna call Terry made a joke about my weight (which we do to each other a lot but never others) and Jessie thought he was talking about Kinsley so she yelled at him calling him a disgusting, and that he is a AH which immediately solidified mine and my brothers dislike for her. While we disliked Jessie, we stayed nice to Kinsley and Betty. Kinsley was nice sometimes but other times she was rude. Whenever they moved in with us, this got extremely worse. Kinsley would make slick comments about how our mother never wanted us. We always did make comments back but never to the extent she did. (examples ; She would say "I wonder what it's like knowing your mother chose drugs over you) and we'd say back "I wonder what it's like knowing your mother is using another mans money"). She always targeted me with her comments. She would say "I couldn't imagine not having a mom in your life to teach you things" after I got my first period. "Did your mom not teach you that isn't girl like" "You're gonna turn out like your mom if you keep acting like that". For context on the last two, my friends call me boyish because I wear baggy clothes all the time, I talk 'like a boy', I never wear makeup because I don't know how to, I never do my hair apart from brushing it and putting it in buns. Now to the issue, A couple months ago, Me, my dad, one of my brothers, Jessie and her kids went to a hockey game, and I wore my new WHITE shoes (me and my brothers are kinda sneaker heads and value clean, uncreased shoes a lot and everyone knows this). Me , Kinsley and Betty had gotten red slushies and sat next to each other. I was scrolling on my phone when I felt something cold and wet hit my shoes and leg, when i looked over Kinsley was laughing while pouring the slushy on me. I jumped up and was furious. I yelled at her and said "Why would you do that, you're so annoying, I seriously hate you, and YOU are gonna clean them". She looked shocked before she started crying. Jessie and my dad yelled at me saying "It's not that serious, they're just shoes". I refused to talk to them the whole time we were there and the car ride home. When we got home, I immediately went in my room. Apparently my dad told my family and they were divided. The older ones were calling a AH and saying I overreacted while the younger ones agreed with me ans said it was fucked up for her to purposely spill red slushy (which stained) on my BRAND NEW white shoes. I get they’re just shoes and I wouldn't have cared if it was an accident but she PURPOSELY ruined something that I owned and cared about. So AITA?

AITA for yelling at my stepsister for spilling drink on my shoes?

NTA

10u5b0t

So we have a big friend group of 9-12 people. We are around 19-22 yrs old and one 28 (who has family and lives abroad). We do a lot of stuff like vacations, go out eating, gaming, have a chat at the hookah. But aside from that we love to annoy each other and comment toxic things to the other. For example when I ask somebody a question and when he answered I ask him the good old cringey ‘’who asked’’. Or when somebody makes a bad move in a game and the other tells him pls delete like why even play? But we all laugh about it because we can all take jokes( we all know each other for about 5 years and my best friend 13). So about a month ago I felt like I have to annoy 2 of my friends so I sent in a video in our group chat which was a girl pointing at the camera and laughing while saying look a virgin!!! One of my friend laughed it off but the other who was my best friend for sometime said that I am a failure which I took as a joke at first but then he asked me that hurting the other is just a joke for me and why am I like this then left the groupchat. Everybody was saying why did he do that? Everybody knew that he was a virgin and nobody gived a damn about that. We even talked about being a virgin isnt bad, it doesnt make you an useless meaningless person. Other friends talked to him about this and he said that he hates me for saying that he is a virgin in a very close friend group, emberassing him and he wants/wanted to bonk me for this, doesnt want to see me, deleted me from everywhere. Its like he forgot about all the things I did for him even when he was at his lowest. I dont want to talk bad about him cuz I still love him but when I was at parties with him he told a lot of cringey things to girls that make them go away or tells me that he will never need a woman in his life. Then this… thinking virginity is a disability. EVERYBODY knew he was a virgin and he acts like nobody knew. Am I the bumhole? Or he just overreacted? I think I was a bumhole a little.

AITA for roasting my friend with the thing everybody knows about?

YTA

10tvth9

I have a hard time sleeping. (I LOVE sleep, just not good at falling/staying asleep). I was up at 3a, normal for me, and was able to fall back asleep at 6a, until being woken at 8a by my partners alarm.I asked him to edit his alarm so it doesn’t ring on his days off. (We share Saturdays off and my alarm is set to 7a weekdays, but he starts an hour later so his alarm is set for 8a). I was short this morning when I repeated the request (for the millionth* time in years) ie. my tone was brusque. Not a great start to the day apparently.So I’ve been up for awhile and my partner typically wakes up around noon on his days off (Fri/Sat). Today he woke up 9.45aPartner took a shower and went to the liquor store. He nicely asked me if I wanted anything but it was 10.30a so I said no. He then made the bed and took a shower before heading to the store. This is very abnormal for him; he typically showers less than once/wk and only helps clean if guests are coming over.I asked him if he had plans and if anyone was coming over and he went straight defense. “Why are you harassing me? I shouldn’t have to tell you when friends are coming over, we have an agreement with “S” coming over but I shouldn’t have to ask your permission for anyone else”. I tried to clarify that I don’t care who he has over (except “S”), but it’s respectful to at least give me a heads up. I brought up two weeks ago when he called me from La Hacienda and asked if I wanted food and I did want a burrito, but he was at the restaurant with our friend “W” and failed to even mention to me that “W” was with him and coming over and sleeping on our couch. I have zero issue with his friends coming over (except”S”). It’s hard b/c we live in a studio and there’s no privacy unless you’re in the bathroom. It’s also hard b/c he’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. My preference is always home alone and his preference is a mix of home/friends/partying. I don’t think I’m crazy for simply asking for a heads up. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to request notice when visitors are coming. I always given partner notice when I have people coming over (albeit, I have friends over a few times/yr and he has friends over a few times/wk. I don’t think either of us are required to ask for permission but I certainly think we should communicate with each other.: His friend rolled through. No heads up, no apologies for lying that he didn’t have any plans when he actually did. I might BTA b/c I’m asking my partner to share his plans/schedule with me rather than trusting his personal judgement.

AITA for requesting that my partner tell me when people are coming over

NTA

10u20s1

Throw away account and all.Relevant back story, I don't like gifts. It is a trigger (can't give the full details because of rules, but I'm not joking this is a legit issue.)Not everyone in my life knows, mainly because that's a lot to just lay on someone. Anyway, a friend gifted me a very expensive bag, and after the fact I laid it out to them very clearly with full detail that I do not want gifts ever again. ( I did give them the whole back story) They are not allowed and I will be refusing any packages from them should they try again. They agreed on the condition that I accept this gift, and I did. However everytime I look at the bag I am filled with anxiety. I know this sounds dumb but I don't want to look at it, touch it, and I have never even used it. Because of this I want to sell it and then gift them the money back if they will accept it. However I feel guilty about breaking this promise.So, WIBTA if I sold it?

WIBTA for selling a gift someone gave me?

NTA

10u4ztr

My friend sent me a picture of her and her boyfriend using a camp stove inside their house. I responded with a facepalm emoji and said that there's literally no reason to use a camp stove instead of the stove in their kitchen, and it doesn't have adequate ventilation.She said they have a window open.So I told her that one open window isn't enough, and that I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't subjecting a number of animals to their negligence. (They have five dogs and two cats.)She responded, "We're fine, jeez."And I just said, "Okay, don't worry about carbon monoxide then, I guess."Was I the asshole for saying this? Am I wrong for believing that it's a stupid idea to do what they're doing with the camp stove?

AITA for telling my friend not to use a camp stove indoors?

NAH

10t7lxj

Hello, I (28f) have a sister (21f) that is currently pregnant. I'm gonna start by saying that our relationship isn't very close, especially in the last couple of years. It's also a bit of a mess. I love her dearly but she's difficult. We've talked a bit during her pregnancy, mostly stuff to help through pregnancy sickness and advice.Anyways, I have a daughter that will be two in a couple of weeks. I picked her name from a favorite video game of mine that helped me crawl out of a dark place. Today, my sister posted on Facebook the name she has picked out. It's the same as my daughter's but has one letter changed. It's not a very large change, think of changing an e to an i. I feel kind of dumb for feeling upset about it but here I am. I want to tell her that I am upset but I'm being told by my grandmother and aunt to let it go.This is only the latest in a long list of things she's done. I'm hitting a breaking point with her and her drama. However, I know that I can't stop anyone from naming their baby anything they want. I also don't think she will change anything. I just think that if I don't say something now she will see my silence as approval and use that later.TLDR: WIBTA for telling my sister how upset I am with her choosing a baby name that's only one letter different from my daughter's?Edit: since everyone is asking and I already posted it in the comments. The names are Karliah and Kalilah

WIBTA if I confronted my sister about her potential baby name?

NTA

10u9pj6

My husband told us that he wants to take a week-long vacation to Italy so he can stock up on snack food and bring it back in bulk back to our home city of Chicago, claiming "It's a good thing to buy food in bulk... remember that time I bought your Sabrina (fake name for my sister) a bulk-buy of M&M's and Hershey's when we went to NYC for your 30th a decade ago?".He's looked at going to Milan for a week and reasoned we needed a vacation to escape the current climate over things like Tyre Nichols, Joe Biden etc.I've nothing against going to Italy, wouldn't mind going for sun, sea, sand and bikinis and also the food too.However, I told him to have a vacation to Italy centered on buying food in bulk and nothing else was a bit unusual unless you work in buying and selling food for a living... which my husband doesn't, he works in end-user support for a living answering support tickets for a webhosting company.I'm a freelancer so can pick and choose my hours, have various clients in the fashion industry, I'm a personal stylist, been one for 15 years now.As it is, I told my husband, the vacation's fine, you've managed to get the time off from work, but I won't do it if you're just focusing on food and nothing else, it's a waste of a vacation.He claims it'll be easy to get all the snack foods through U.S. Customs and back to Chicago easily.AITA here for telling him explicitly that it's got to be a vacation too, not simply a case of a week's worth of buying food, importing it back home to the U.S. and through customs and then worrying about storage?

AITA for telling husband spending a week in Italy just to buy snack food in bulk is odd and expensive?

NTA

10tqr25

I'm on my limit and told him that if we lose the house I will hold him accountable and will divorce him. He doesn't seem to acknowledge the importance of everything. And I am unable to do more than what I already do(1 full time and 3 part time). Am I the asshole here? He works a full time job , everyday, home office 9-18.EDIT: I'm in Europe where, because of the war, inflation and tax rates increased dramatically. Basically doubled my mortgage and there's no end in sight.

AITA I'm working 4 jobs and at risk of losing my house (and my mind). Mother of three, I fear this possibility of being unable to pay the mortgage. keep asking my husband to find a second job but he doesn't.

NTA

10tyke2

I (21 F)Have had a rocky relationship with my fathers side of the family and this situation might have made it worse.Last week my father and I had a conversation. He started talking about how he wanted to have another child because me and my siblings do not really like him. He said that having another child he could do right by them. I flat out told him that taking care of a child is not as easy as it seems. It's not just about sending them money. (he never changed my diapers as a kid because he doesnt change girls) He needed to change their diaper, dress them, take them to appointments, take them to school, mold them into proper functioning people. The conversation was left sour.Well, a few weeks ago my father sent me a text message after trying to call. I ignored the call. He asked if i remembered when I was younger when I told him I could have a younger sister. I vaugly remembered him telling me this after telling me of his various flings. She said he wasn't the father and he moved on with his life. Well, the woman he slept with contacted him and told him he is infact the father of the child. My father was estatic. I simply said that he should get a DNA test to be sure. He then sent me a picture of the girl, saying that she looks just like me. i have to admit, there were small features, but again, i rheitorated that he needed to get a DNA test just to be sure. A few days later, he sent me pictures of him meeting the girl! Talking about how he was going to spoil and treasure her after finding his new daughter. This pissed me off. My father calls me all the time complaining about how child support is taking so much of his money away. This infuriated me beyond belief. My aunt says its because I used to be his favorite but thats far from the truth. My grandmother visited her, she called me saying that that girl is her grandbaby and she acts just like me. She says she likes to draw, watch anime, smiles, talks, and looks like me.She said that althought the girl is in the system, she has a support system now. I always watned to scream. These people that completely abandonded me in foster care are going to help her! My grandmother started talking about me to the girl and said I was excited to meet her. I again said you should get a DNA test just to be sure!Why put this girl through this thinking she may have another family and it turns out we are not her paternal family. My grandmother said I should see her and I declined. I said, "I am not going to speak with her until I know for sure she is my sister, and even if she was my sister, why is that my responsibility to form a relationship with her when I don't have a relationship with my other siblings because of my fathers lack of control?" She got quiet and we eventually ended the call. My father and aunt called me jealous and not wanting to share my fathers attention, but i feel like no one is thinking about this situation logically and the effects that this could have on that child.AITA?

AITA For being realistic about the possibility of having another sister?

NTA

10stskr

I (M16) live with my dad. He is not a bad guy but if you give him a chance he will eat everything in sight. I try my best to do my share around the house. He works pretty hard so I do most of the housework. It is just the two of us. I work part time at a kebab place. And sometimes I bring home kebabs for us from work. One set for me and one for him. I always get the garlic cilantro sauce on the side because my dad can't eat it. So a few weeks ago I did exactly that. I wasn't hungry so I left them all in the fridge. When I got up to get my food they were all gone. He had eaten everything. So now I make sure my kebabs are soaked in the cilantro sauce. And he can only eat his. I buy myself snacks that I like and I found that they were disappearing from the pantry. My dad pays for all the household food so I asked him if I could use the grocery budget to pick up those snacks since he obviously likes them. He said no. So now I am shopping carefully and only buying snacks that have ingredients he cannot eat. He has a soy allergy. I make sure that I'll my stuff with soy is well labelled and I keep it simple in my room away from the other food. I also picked up extra spicy snacks that he cannot handle. He noticed that I wasn't keeping my stuff in the pantry any more. He said I had to share. So I showed him the ingredients on my stuff. And I let him try my mildest spicy snack. He drank about a quart of milk. He says that he works hard to provide and he deserves snacks. I agree. I've even bought him some he likes. And if he didn't eat them all in one go they would last between grocery trips. My older sister called me and said I needed to smarten up. She says he feels like I'm picking on him. I'm not. I just don't want to get up to get something I know I bought and it's not there.

AITA for only buying food my father cannot eat with my money.

NTA

10tlwii

Hi I recently rescued a stray and although it’s only been a few weeks I’ve become really attached to this pet. My partner however does not agree with me keeping it. We have gotten into arguments about it with them feeling as though I never take into consideration their opinion in anything and that I am not responsible enough. I tried to come to a middle ground were we could see how it goes with the pet just so they could see that I am responsible enough to take care of it. They didn’t like this agreement and told me it was best to give it away. I was sobbing over the thought of giving it away because I really enjoy having it around. This pet is so sweet they wake me up in the morning with lots of cuddles and all of their quirks that I’ve come to enjoy. Today we get into another argument on the phone in which they told me that I was very irresponsible and always got things my way. I asked for some examples but they said there were too many to list but that me getting a piercing was one of them. I don’t know how to feel or do. I don’t want any more arguments within this relationship but I also can’t imagine giving away my pet. Give me your wisdom AITA thread.

AITA For Getting a Pet?

NTA

10sorq8

I’m early 20sF and last year started working at a major company. I entered this job through a scheme for disadvantaged young people. Despite this, the interview process was still incredibly tough and I’m proud to have made it this far. When I’m not with my team I hang out with the other girls I’ve met and befriended through that scheme. The nephew of the CEO started his role at our department a little later and for whatever reason has been joining us girls for lunches etc. He tries VERY HARD to fit in and acts like he doesn’t come from a place of insane privilege. He will literally pretend to be humble and downplay his family’s wealth just to seem relatable I guess. The others have been warming up to him but I’m honestly not buying his rather fake personality. The other day I was sitting at the canteen with another coworker and he asked if he could join us. I didn’t want that but my coworker immediately said yes. Well he was asking me lots of personal questions and about my journey to the company. I told him that the interview process was hard and mentally draining. He nodded and said that it’s tough getting into the place but that his interviews were “fine”. Even laughing and saying he came late to one because of a hungover. This made me mad and I said “good for you”. He thanked me and said that things always work out when you just “chill out” and stop taking things so seriously. This is when I said that we both know he’s not nearly as competent as he believes and that he only got the job bc his uncle is literally the CEO. My friend/coworker gasped and looked at me like I’m crazy. The nephew shrugged and said that I don’t seem to like him. I told him that this wasn’t a personal matter so likes and dislikes are irrelevant. We didn’t argue but he got a little heated. And asking me what I want him to do. Then he said that I may view him as an over privileged asshole but I’m more or less the same (which makes no sense). So I fully expected him to report me to HR but to my surprise he never did. In fact he started following me on my social media accounts and messaging me at work more frequently. My coworker has relayed this incident to the other girls and the consensus is that I’m a major asshole. They said that not only was I unnecessarily hostile and rude, they’re also mad he started hanging out with them less. (Not sure if this is a coincidence but I’ve also been spending less time with them) AITA for giving my unprompted opinions?

AITA for telling my colleague he only has his job because his uncle is the CEO?

YTA

10u63ns

Ive just gotten home from this event. Me and a couple friends- more like 3- had all agreed to go to one of my friend’s house. I’ll call her Monica. Monica is sort of a reckless friend, and had often teased me about being an introvert. She told me and another friend, - Susie- that we would be hanging out at her’s for one night. Me and Susie thought it would just be us three but to our surprise, almost our entire grade was there. There were shots, music, lots of people, you name it. Susie was hesistant to join because the last time she drank I was sort of pulled into a disaster which she apologized for. That was actually how we met- but that’s another story for another time- Susie and I stick together for most of the party, and for a while we don’t see Monica anywhere, so we both decided to go to another place that was quieter. That was when we finally found Monica. She was fooling around with people and were about to do something ridiculous, so me and Susie were quick to pull her out of there. We dragged her to her room where me and Susie told her off on being more careful, but monica (unfortunately) brings up Susie’s past mistakes, which leads both of them into a fight. I tried to stop them which leads to monica calling me names and telling me that I ruined the “good” party. I tried not to get upset by this but she kept on going on about being naïve, or friendly towards strangers, to which Susie then tries to defend me, and the cycle starts up again until me and susie both walk out upset about everything. On the way home susie reminds me of things I've helped her with and tells me that I shouldnt listen to monica.  So, am I the Asshole for dragging my friend out and ruining a good time for her? 

AITA for ruining what was a "good "party for my friend?

ESH

10t123n

My daughter will turn 4 this weekend, we have three children under 4 and our youngest is a very clingy 5 month-old who even refuses nap away from my arms so I don't have a lot of time to myself let alone to clean the house and make the meals, I manage but things are not perfect far from it. My mother ( who happens to be overbearing at time admittedly) offered to host her birthday party. Since I barely have time take care of our house I'm quite thankful for the opportunity. She wanted everyone to come but my husband's side of the family refuses to come because they are uncomfortable at my mom's. ( Nothing bad ever happened between them and when my mom isn't nice its always to me never any one else) My husband is disappointed that his problematic mother will miss our daughter's birthday ( she always has issues with everyone, before it was my FIL, then it was me after it was my BIL's girlfriend and now she has chosen my mother 😑) and he wants me to host the birthday instead but the party is tomorrow and I don't want to cancel everything and take care of the whole thing because his mom has made up some issues. He's upset that I'm not willing to host the birthday at our place.AITA?

AITA for refusing to host my daughter's birthday party

NTA

10tk05x

My brother is upset with me and my sister because we didn’t call our nephew to wish him a happy 5th birthday. So my brother and sister are in a group chat cause we are in a friendly Wordle competition so we speak to each other everyday. My brother stopped sharing his Wordles for a couple of days so on the third day he ignored us, I messaged him asking if he was mad at us. Long story short he said he’s disappointed that we didn’t reach out for our nephews 5th birthday. So I asked him if I’d missed an invitation to a birthday celebration or something cause we hadn’t heard anything from him or his wife. Honestly the day got away from me, I work full time with kids and am exhausted on the weekends. He said family never makes a big deal for his sons birthday but always does for their daughter. That statement couldn’t be further from the truth as I’ve never made a big deal for either of their birthdays. I don’t have the money to do any big hoopla. I explained that I didn’t think a phone call would excite a 5 year old who I only see a few times a year so I was gonna bring him a gift the next time I saw him. My brother then stated that they hadn’t passed out invitations for his birthday party cause they earliest they could get anything booked was for nearly a month later. So I asked him if they’d still done any celebrating the weekend and why they hadn’t asked us to join them if they did. He ignored that question and basically said it wasn’t his job to make sure family call to wish their nephew a happy birthday. I told him it felt like a set up at that point and again asked him if they’d had a birthday supper with a cake which was again ignored. So am I the asshole?Edit: I should clarify that I did tell my brother I felt bad for not acknowledging but that I did have plans to bring him a gift when I saw him next. My thoughts were basically yes I could’ve called to set something up but that he should’ve invited me to any celebration they had planned. And my sister and I don’t live far but it’s still about an hours drive from my house to his.

AITA My brother is upset with me and my sister because we didn’t call our nephew to wish him a happy 5th birthday

NTA

10tvjmo

Me and my mother (60F) have flown out to Jamaica to visit my dad and my Jamaican side of the family. It’s both of our first time coming to the island or visiting any of my family on this side, we put almost £2000 into this holiday. We intended on staying for 2 weeks but we are looking to shorten the holiday and come home ASAP.We’ve been here for less than a week and my father have left us at home most days so far and he’s been out for 8+ hours. He doesn’t let us know where he is going and lies about what he is doing. We left the house one time because we were so bored and he got angry at us for doing so. We told him that we he is doing is wrong and disrespectful but he just laughed it off and told us to ‘relax’. He’s been all day today and me and my mum both agreed to chip in money to book a flight home early.WIBTA for leaving?tldr; Me and my mother have visited my dad in jamaica and he’s hardly been home for the time weve been here. He goes out all day and lies about where he is going. WIBTA if we go home early?

WIBTA if I (21 M) booked a flight home early from visiting my father (61M)?

NTA

10ud1cv

I am unsure how to process these feelings, so I guess I'm turning to here.I used to be very close to someone I would consider my best friend. We have known each other for almost 10 years, but have found that we've drifted apart, even further knowing she started a new relationship. I am very happy for her that she has found someone who is incredibly supportive of her art (she has a very thriving art career), and she has become viral on TikTok as a TikTok couple. I'm sure this is jealousy, so this is why I'm asking here - But I know that she is loaded. Like over thousands of dollars a month from art projects, gallery commissions, etc. So is her partner.I would actively go to her art things - Because I always have. I noticed over the years even when I messaged her in advance to hopefully get her support in something of mine (emotional support, or support for stuff I happen to like as well), at the last minute she's busy with a "last minute flight with her partner's family" or she has an art thing, which I understand. It's just been harder to message her knowing that she will most likely not make a certain thing. Heck, when I greeted her for her birthday, I was left on seen, yet would see she is very active on social media. I don't expect an immediate reply, but have found myself distant as a result. Recently, I placed a listing up for a mattress I'm getting rid of. I'm moving out, and just want it gone, and I already have a few friends interested in it. It doesn't really fit two, so I was a bit surprised when months later, she messages me. No hello, no how are you, just if the mattress was available because she's moving in with her partner. I want to give her the mattress, though in all honesty it has stains, and it barely fits two, so I want to suggest to her that it's already been reserved, or that she can (honestly) get a brand new one for a couple of bucks more. Again, I am not sure why I feel this way, but I feel like I would be the asshole if I refuse to just give it to her. WITBA? How do I get through this feeling?

WIBTA if I refuse to give a mattress to my HS best friend?

NTA

10tltli

I am very perplex on this one and feel like maybe I am in the wrong. I (20F) and my fiancé (24M) are both students and muslim. I wear the hijab (the scarf muslim women wear) and study health while living with my parents and he studies computer science at the international and lives with 4 roommates. I started working recently (minimum wage job to save some money) and we got into a debate about if it bothers me that he is not working right now, to which I said no as long as you do before we get married and as long as we dont live with roommates. From there on it started going downhill because he asked me what would he get in return because he feels like the hard work will be one-sided and that I should be grateful enough to live with him. I told him that I do not want to walk around my own home with my hijab on everyday and that it would not make me comfortable at all in any way. "So I have to work harder so you can feel better?" Maybe I am overreacting or just too sensible but that sentence really threw me off a cliff because I know I would it for him. I have always told him that I would much rather be a SAHW and take care of the house and my family than work a 9-5. If NEEDED, I dont mind at all working to help financially (non-essential stuff, utilities, groceries, rent, etc.), but if it is not needed then I do not want to and it has been clear from the start. Now he says that I'm asking for a "queen life" and its not reasonable and he is not a prince to give me a castle because "I dont have anything to give back". Am I really asking for too much? I dont expect a palace. I can work with very little (kitchen, bedroom/living room and bathroom) as long as it's with the person I love but having roommates (male or female) while married is inconceivable for me. Am I the asshole?

AITA for asking to live alone with my husband

NTA

10ucq2x

So I work in a big team I have only been there a year now. It’s been hard making friends.I’m really shy and it’s taken me a while.My old job I completely fine.Anyway I’ve made a few friends and one girl in particular let’s say Sandy 38 Y I’ve got to know and have gone out for food etc.I can only describe her as quite bolshy and can be quite moody if things don’t go her way. I can be a bit of a people pleaser as I don’t really like conflict and prefer a easy life. So there’s this this other girl let’s say bonnie 31 Y who’s higher up than us and everybody gets on with her. Sandy and i have jokes with her and we have exchanged numbers and text etc. At Christmas I bought a few gifts for my co workers, these were just like little things.One of the girls I bought for was bonnie. One of the comments my friend made (Sandy) was that I was trying to buy people.I was extremely upset by this because my nan had passed away at Christmas and I felt like giving people was making me feel less sad. This girl bonnie and I have little jokes back and fourth about my mental health and hers about being ginger or a red red. Fast forward to other day we’re stood in the kitchen and my friend Sandy are I saying things like oh what you got ? Looks bland. Bonnie says I only like brown bread not white.I say cause you ginger, my friends Sandy just exploded,you can’t say that, that’s so mean. I’m completely shocked you’ve just said that.This is in front of everybody like 30 other people I immediately become so embarrassed I want to cry. Comes to leaving work and my friend Sandy wanted us to go for food. On leaving she asks me why I’m being moody with her. I reply with because you embarrassed me in front of everyone over a silly joke. Sandy apologies and asks me to still come, I say I don’t want to know as I’m too embarrassed. (Another girl was going).Sandy says fine, be in a mood.I walk back to my car and cry because I felt so bad about my joke and how embarrassing it was.i do end up going as I figured I didn’t want to fall out with Sandy as it would make things even more awkward. I walk in and she says ‘here she is she’s put her big girl pants on,. I just smiled and was pretty quiet throughout the conversation were they literally just bitched about everybody. When I got home I texted Bonnie straight away and apologised for my comment.Bonnie replies pretty quickly with don’t be silly and it’s fine. I apologised again and she said to not be silly. I’ve since spoken to Sandy about it and she said that she didn’t think I was wrong for saying it. That is just wasn’t the right place to say it in room full of people.I said that I had apologised to Bonnie and she said she knows as she’s also spoken to her. Also she said to not worry about it as it’s just silly. I’m supposed to be seeing these girls on Monday and I feel so embarrassed.I feel like I’m going crazy because it was treated as such a big thing at the time and now it’s like your being silly.AMIA ?

AITA for thinking this has been blow way out of proportion?

NTA

10tv1wn

I, 23m, have been renting an apartment with my former friend & current coworker, 23f, since last March when I took over her old roommates lease.In July we signed a new lease. Just after we signed the new lease, my relationship with my girlfriend got more serious so I stopped hanging out with my roommate out of respect for my relationship as my roommate & girlfriend do not get along at all. My girlfriend is not comfortable sleeping at my apartment because when she first met my roommate, my roommate was incredibly standoffish with my girlfriend & was being overly flirtatious with me in front of her; a behavior she has never shown to me before.As things have gotten more serious & because of my girlfriend not being comfortable at my apartment, I have basically been living with my girlfriend since late July, early August. Despite this, *I still pay half of the rent at my apartment.* My roommate essentially has the entire apartment to herself with me covering half of the costs when I don’t even live there. My stuff is all still there and has been untouched for months as all of my clothes are at my girlfriends. I haven’t even been to my apartment in months.My girlfriends lease expires in early April & we both agreed that we should move into a larger apartment together, just the two of us. I’ve mentioned to my roommate a few times over the past few months that i’m looking for a place of my own & would let her know if something comes up. Each time i’ve mentioned anything to my roommate about me moving out, i’m treated with an extreme attitude or just completely stonewalled. Well, the other day I let my roommate know in person that I’ve found a place that I’d likely be moving into around the middle to end of March. She chuckled and said in a sarcastic tone, “okay we’ll see.” Last night I texted her to touch base & very kindly reiterated what I said & asked her if she had anybody she wanted to ask about being her roommate otherwise I would be posting an ad & if I posted the ad, what her preferences would be for the new roommate, what their rent would be, and so on. I was left on read. As I mentioned, my roommate is also my coworker. Today, see has been nothing but standoffish with me, has been slamming stuff around, & even made a rude comment about me to a client. When I asked if she got my text, she stormed of and locked herself in the bathroom for over half an hour then refused to help me help clients as they walked in.I’ve given more than a 30 days notice, have offered to help find a new roomste for her, continue to pay my rent until i’m moved out, and even pay the first month of the potential new roommate however I’m being treated with nothing but attitude and being ignored when I’ve asked her to please speak to me about what the problem is

AITA for giving my roommate proper notice of me moving out?

NTA

10txjai

So I (20f) have lived with my friend (20f) in student accommodation for the past two years while in university. 6 closest friend had to move out because of personal problems, and she's understandably upset by this and feels isolated.I live in the flat beside her and it is always extremely loud from about 11pm-3am during weekdays because its mostly new students. I am in my final year and cannot get all my work done and attend my early classes if this continues. I am also hoping to move into a house with friends next year and could do with saving some money. I confided in my friend that I was thinking of moving to quieter, cheaper accommodation as my grades haven't been the best due to some metal health problems. When I told her she ran away crying because "everyone was leaving her and she doesn't have anyone anymore". While I tried to comfort her as I understood that its hard when friends leave but, I couldn't lie and say I wouldn't got through with it, which is what she wanted me to say. Fast forward to the next day and I'm getting bombarded with messages telling me not to leave because she won't want to live there anymore and because I drive her the hour and a half to the city she won't have anyone take her up. She is also continuously stating that I'm her only friend now which is completely untrue she is with different people for coffee or lunch all week long. I've tried to tell her how worried I am about my grades and the not sleeping, but all she says is how I don't care about her and am being selfish by still thinking about my other options. I feel so guilty for the way I'm treating her but shouldn't she want what's best for me? AITA?

AITA for abandoning my friend and making her cry?

NTA

10swrqr

I think the title is self-explanatory. My girlfriend's family are quite upset with me but let me give you a bit of background information. I (25F) am currently a resident. My speciality is a particularly demanding one. I have 24-hour shifts every other day, and I get to go on 72-hour shifts at the hospital with only a few hours of sleep 4 times a month.I have been dating my girlfriend (23F) for two years. Her parents and brother (29) live in a different city. They were going to come visit us for a few days. My girlfriend had told me that beforehand. She obviously knows my schedule. I offered to help her before her parents got here, I only managed to get a few items, gifts, etc. Later she told me to carry on with my routine and said she'd handle the hosting duties. I had one of those 72-hour nightmare shifts, we had countless admissions, and only got to sleep very occasionally. It is safe to say I was almost a zombie by the time I got home.After I got home, took a shower and told my girlfriend I was going to sleep a little bit. I set an alarm to get up and help my GF in the kitchen, watch a movie or something. I slept through the whole day and got up around 10PM. When I went downstairs, I saw my GFs parents and her brother. I had completely forgotten about my GF's family coming over later that day. They had a very unimpressed look. My girlfriend's mother told me it was extremely disrespectful of me to not be there to welcome them the first time they were coming over to visit. I got similar comments from all of them. (My GF said she purposefully didn't wake me up because I was going to go back to the hospital in a few hours and I needed my sleep. Her family didn't change their minds.)Her brother later told me (privately) that I was neglecting my girlfriend and being selfish in this relationship. He said his sister deserved much better than someone who wouldn't even acknowledge her family.I feel horribly about all this. I asked a few friends but they're all terrible when it comes to these kinds of advice. I honestly don't know. AITA?Edit: I was allowed to leave the hospital around 2 PM, got home around 3 PM, took a shower and went to sleep at 3.30, I set an alarm for 6 PM but slept through it. They arrived at around 5.

AITA for sleeping the whole evening away when my GF's family came to visit?

NTA

10tz678

Before this starts I’m 19. So this happened like 2 or 3 hours ago. Me my mom and dad were getting ready to head to dinner. I don’t get cold easily so I usually just go places in a t shirt and bring my hoodie with me. So I’m about to go out and my mom says put a hoodie on. I say I don’t want to. We go back and forth getting louder i eventually give in cause I don’t wanna do this shit. Now she says I owe her an apology. AITA?

AITA for not applogizing to my mom?

NTA

10u042f

Last year i started to live in my Boyfriend’s (24 years old) house because it was closer to my school, I am 20 years old. My boyfriend still lives with his parents so i always felt grateful to be there.After a while living in their home, some months passed by, their house was robbed. Even though i was innocent and had nothing to prove otherwise, his mother started to think it was my fault, I was already expecting that it would happen because of course I’d be the first suspect, I was living there for not a long time.She began to act cold and my boyfriend had to go through my phone just to be sure I didn’t had nothing that could go against me.She was obviously trying to sabotage my relationship with his son.For a year I felt like I was an imposter in their life, like no one wanted me there. I cried and cried everyday because I just wanted to go home but my boyfriend asked me to stay. A year or so had passed, we moved to another city.She no longer thinks I was the responsible for the robbery, at least I think so, but I can’t feel comfortable around her anymore. My boyfriend begged me to forget what happened because she was suffering from PTSD at the time but I just can’t… I suffered a lot at the time and I just can’t feel that I am welcome once again. He told me I was being an asshole because I was holding back feelings.So… am I the asshole for not feeling comfortable around my mother-in-law and wanting to go home?

AITA for not feeling comfortable around my mother-in-law?

NTA

10tt7mx

So I'm 15, and I was given a phone for free. The only cost to my mom in this scenario is any startup fees and a protective screen. It's not even a deal that was worked out, it's no strings attached. I was given the phone today. My uncle had me texting my mom through his phone (I type quicker and he generally dislikes typing), and had me tell her I got the phone. She asked what it was, and was upset when being told it is a Samsung A11. Me nor my uncle had any say what phone I got, but I'm admittedly glad it is. To quote her, she's upset because, "harder to spy on her shit with that one". I was upset, because she treats me like I'm irresponsible. I was when she last trusted me with my own device, at 10 and unsupervised, but I'm 15 now, and she will admit herself I'm more mature. Well, she called to discuss expectations with me. Some of them I understand, but there's also some that I think are ridiculous. For example; No texting anyone but her and my uncle. This stuck out to me, because she knows I have friends and a boyfriend. Well I asked her about it, because I want to be able to talk to my friends outside of just school, which would mean texting. And I mentioned I saw the text about spying and was confused about what she meant. I understand going through it if I get in trouble, but she phrased it as more than that. Well, she meant weekly checking everything. Down to my contacts list to make sure it isn't anyone she doesn't want me talking to. I brought up that I didn't like that, because it just makes me feel creeped out. I already know privacy is lacking in this house, but it seems more like stalking than doing anything for my own safety. She's pretty upset with me now, and threatening to not activate the phone at all. So, AITA?

AITA for not wanting my mom to "spy on my shit"?

NTA

10tplsk

AITA for not checking to see if my husband has two passports?Recently I did all the paperwork for renewing my family's passports. When I went to check my husband's passport's expiration date, I grabbed the first unmarked passport of his (we have some expired ones in the same drawer that are all hole-punched or the corners have been removed). We even had a brief conversation of "is that the most recent one?" and I said "its not hole-punched so it must be recent."Anyways, we submit the paperwork and my husband just got a phone call saying we submitted the wrong passport. Turns out my husband thought he had lost his passport in 2016 and put in a whole new application, so he had two "active" passports.Now we are playing the blame game and my husband says its my fault for not checking every passport and I say its his fault for not telling me he had two active passports.AITA for not checking every single passport?

AITA for not checking to see if my husband has two passports?

NTA

10u6i1l

Alice(26f) and I (19f) became really good friends at our job, and we kept it going even after she got fired. I think she resented me for still working there even though I ended up getting fired a month later for unrelated reasons.Recently A introduced me to Taylor and tells me that they're best friends. also end up meeting Taylor's bf, Gabe. G is a very blunt guy, but still super nice to people. When we met I found out that they don't own a car and told them both that if they ever needed a ride anywhere I'd be more than happy to help(I've told A something similar even though she has her own car).After we all hung out, A created a gc with all of us. T ended up going to jail and G started texting the gc often about how much he missed her and all the letters he's sending her (I found out he doesn't talk to people outside of T and his family). G loves art and constantly sent pics of his work to the gc. A sent a pic of her drawing and G told her it was great but she could probably do more work on the legs. A blew up on him for that, and he ended up leaving the gc because of it. After he left the gc, I texted him and basically said that she was wrong for what she did and that if he ever needed anything I'd be thereThe 1st time G asked for a ride (a few days before the argument) A found out and ended up coming along even though none of us invited her, I found out after this that G didn't feel comfortable around A. That A and T weren't really as close as A made it seem and that T noticed that A only really comments or swipes on posts if G is in them. Both T and G said they don't really like when G is with A cause it makes them uncomfortable even though she has a bf.G asked if I could drive him to visit T, I agreed (this isn't the first time I've driven him somewhere) and omw to pick him up I get a call from A asking where I'm at, I say I'm going to hangout with a friend. A says that G texted her cause he wanted to know how far away I was. I say that I'm 2 min away, and that I didn't tell her where was going because thought that she was still upset with him (she tells me that they started texting the day after the argument and that they're fine now). I get to G's and he tells me that A called me shady bc didn't tell her I was going to see him. Today get a text from A saying this "hey ik i already said so im still a little upset and feel like should communicate that out of respect bc just don't appreciate taking over people i know and acting like i have no business in it. I care a lot about T so therefore care about G"I did kinda disrespect her by actively keeping it from her, however unintentional and do see how that could be hurtful. But, I don't think should stop trying to befriend T just cause A was friends with her first. also don't think I'm wrong to give him rides if he asks

AITA for "taking over" her friends?

NTA

10txq0i

So it's my (32f) and BFs (31m) first anniversary tomorrow (been friends for over 10 years). We went to a gokart place he wanted to about 90 mins away, then 30 mins from that (closer to home) we went to a sculpture place. Leaving the gokart place on the way to the sculpture place we got in a small...disagreement. it wasn't completely an argument but basically he said that I follow too many rules (I dont) and that he's not going to let me prevent him from doing what he wants. I think I break rules when it makes sense and I think he makes things stressful by seemingly NEVER following rules. For instance, we went on vacation about 4 months into our relationship and went kayaking. They told us to wear our life vests. He was a swimmer and lifeguard so he didn't want put it on, and I'm like dude just do it. But it's uncomfortable for him. So he puts it on and doesn't buckle. Then at one point during the tour we were near an oyster farm and they said to not get close as to not disturb the oysters. Well he's paddling closer to see something about the dock and I'm paddling away (in the same kayak) and he starts getting snippy with me being like wtf are you doing?? And I'm like ?? Wtf are YOU doing?? (He swears we weren't that close but it was shallow and I can't see the bottom of the kayak to know how far or close we were to them, it wasn't more the 6 inches).It's just small things like that. I follow the rules when I think they make sense OR when breaking the rules causes too much of a headache. He said that I have too much anxiety from my mom (I do) but generally, I know when my anxiety is irrational, like how terrified I am about airplanes.Anyway, we go to the sculpture place that's outside, so they're big and secured to withstand weather. But right off the bat he walks right up to one and starts touching it and gently knocking on it to see the material, cuz he's very very curious about things, too. I moved on but I was like wow, already? So we move on and later he starts walking up to one that had a camera point right at it and I'm like can you stop, there is a camera RIGHT there. And he was like WHAT? And I was like you're too close, and he's like are you fking kidding me? I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't touch it. And I was like well I thought you might cuz you already did, you're just not supposed to get that close, it's disrespectful. He tried to argue and I just continued the rest of the way since it was towards the end.Now we're having a tense and silent ride home. I feel like I'm right and it's respectful to stand back from people's art, but maybe I shouldn't have policed him, plus there weren't signs that said do not touch so maybe since they're secure and durable it's okay to touch them (there was a sign at the beginning saying don't climb on things or pick flowers).ETA I know he sounds like a terrible person, but these all stem from him thinking he knows better. He wouldn't have touched anything of someone else's if he feels he can do harm. He's turned down using things of others unless he feels like he's 100% sure he won't harm it. He bends the rules when he genuinely thinks he's doing no harm OR when the harm is only towards himself, hence the lifejacket argument. He understands lifejackets and fully supports me wearing one, but also would trust me if I said I didn't need it and wants me to trust that he knows his own capabilities.I do trust his capabilities, but IMO just because you *can* touch something without doing damage doesn't mean you *should* out of respect. Plus, "don't worry, I got this" is everyone's famous last words before disaster strikes.

AITA for saying something when my boyfriend got too close to a sculpture?

NTA

10tw4c6

I left because of prior commitments to friends coming up from SC. She was aware of them before we left for the gathering. We spent 4 hours there, saw all of them 3 months ago, had dinner, played games, watched Purdue vs. IN ( Go Hoosiers!) And talked about good ol drama. I reminded her of the plans, and that I'd miss them if we didn't leave soon. But she refused to leave and states that we had these plans before mine, therefore it takes precedence, and I should stay there the whole time, which was going to be enough time to miss out on the promise I made.Edit for missing details: I made the promise to our friends the morning of, and my wife heard me at this time. Also backed me up by saying we'll be back around 6:30/7 as we left. Once she refused to leave, she started saying things like fine I'll go home with my parents just go. I reiterated that we've mostly filled out the obligation to her family imo. Ps sorry for poor quality posting I'm bad at writing. AITA?

AITA for leaving my wife's family get together?

NTA

10tzk5y

My boyfriend (now ex) (28M) and I (23F) were together for three years. Our sex life wasn’t great anymore and the contributing element was that he was almost 30, without a degree or a job, living in his mom’s basement. He kept promising he was going to do great things, and I stayed for three years supporting him and believing him whenever he would say he was going to “change the world one day”.Truth was, he was a pathological liar, a WoW addict, smoked weed every morning, and would leave the house for 10+ hours at a time lying about being in college (he dropped out in secret) or at work (he would constantly get fired) while he was buying other sorts of drugs and hanging out with strangers met on Reddit.Because of that, we decided to open our relationship and the only rule was to disclose everything with one another, also we were not allowed to flirt with family members and friends. Of course that was the first thing he did, starting with my sister (19F) and most of my female friends. Followed by 16 other girls and OnlyFans subscriptions.One of my friends, I’ll call her G (21F) which I didn’t know that well at the time, called me one day, telling me that he lied about not being in open relationship so she would make out with him. She said during the call that the only reason she went along with him was because she was tired of being a virgin and was basically going after every person she knew to have her first experiences with. After that event I helped her feel less anxious and convinced her to take her time and search for someone she loved instead.Forward almost a year later, I am now with my new amazing boyfriend and his family at a gathering, and G is there with us. My boyfriend’s mom then asked how we became friends, and I explained that we bonded over my ex cheating on me with her. Everybody became interested in the story, so I started talking about all the narcissistic and horrible things my ex did, how he wasted three years of my life and lied to all his family and friends about making so much money and how each day it was a brand new lie.That’s when I said I was glad that G called me and basically saved me from that horrible situation. She replied saying it kinda sucks though that the most experience she’s ever had was with him, and I said “Oh but you were desperate at the time, you have so much higher standards now”.She later told me in private that she felt disrespected by me calling her “desperate” in front of my boyfriend’s mom. I tried explaining that I was trying to do the exact opposite and give reasoning to why she would ever go for someone like him, and I even told her that I was probably very desperate myself to even give that relationship so many chances even after all the cheating and lying.I don’t think my explanation helped and she just said it was ok, but I still feel like I did something wrongSo AITA for calling my friend “desperate”?

AITA for calling my friend “desperate”

YTA

10tuib4

I was in the process of hiring a long-distance moving company that specializes in moving a certain type of heavy item. I asked insurance questions, was told they've never been more insulted, and they canceled the move.Here's a summary of the emails:Me: Hi, how much does it cost to move *item*. Here's *pertinent moving info*.Them: Here's the cost.Me: Thanks. It's one of the higher quotes I've gotten but I'm inclined to choose you because of your positive reviews. I'd like to know if you do XYZ (very basic questions specific to item) and do you carry insurance?Them: Answers basic questions. Yes, we carry up to *$large amount of insurance*.Me: Sounds good. If the item is damaged in your possession, do you cover repairs by a qualified repairperson near me? I'd need a written guarantee.Them: Yes. I'm sending you the name of our insurance agent and I'll have them name you on the certificate of insurance. I'd just recommend you have the item appraised beforehand.Me: Thank you for taking the time to explain. Exact quote from me, "Would you please have your insurance agent reach out so I can get a sense of what’s covered?"Them: Arranging the logistics but don't make any mention of the insurance.Me: Confirming the logistics and asking if the insurance agent will reach out soon.Insurance Agent: Emails me directly and says to see attached cert showing coverage.Me: Hi insurance agent, I have a few practical insurance questions. What happens if there's an accident, regardless of fault, and the item gets destroyed? Will I get a close replacement *item* or a check instead? As long as the *item* is close enough to the original, I'm good. If there's relatively minor damage during transport, can I hire a local repairperson to fix it? In the event of an accident, who pays the deductible? At this time we don't plan on getting the *item* appraised but based on numerous online listings, we think it's worth *X*.Moving Company: Exact quote with specifics removed, "We have decided to not move forward with this move without an appraisal. An item that is over *long time* years old will most likely have *issues specific to item*, normal wear and tear, etc.. You are guessing at the value without having a professional look at the item, which is why I recommended having it appraised. That was for your protection and ours. I felt I answered your questions and tried to make you feel comfortable with hiring us but apparently not. I don't appreciate you emailing our insurance agent personally. **We have been doing this for over *long time* years and have never been this insulted.** So with all this concern, I feel it would be best if you hire someone in your area to come down and get it, that way if anything were to happen, it would be done by someone local to you, which I feel you would be more comfortable with."

AITA for asking questions about a moving company's insurance policy?

YTA

10tlsz8

I (27f) lost my mom 11 months ago. It was so unexpected and out of the blue. I will say that she was unwell but it wasn’t anything to do with her passing. The morning I got the call I had spoken to her an hour before and everything seemed fine. She was shopping in town and was planning her evening (she was going to have my son for the night). My phone rang and it was as my brother, he said she had passed out the toilets in town and she was on the way to the hospital. I’ll never forget when he said “she’s not looking good, I don’t know think she’s going to wake up”. I was so confused and worried. I got to the hospital and they said they were doing tests and scans but eventually they told us she had a bleed on the brain, a stroke which left her paralysed on her left side and she had fallen into a coma. I sat by her bedside for 4 days just talking to her, holding her hand and just begging her not to leave me. They eventually told us they were taking her off life support. I regret that I didn’t tell her everything I wanted to. I hate myself for not saying more. Not doing more. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anyone to look after my son so I had to go home and that night at 12:32am she passed away alone bcos none of my siblings wanted to stay. After she passed I had to tell everyone, arrange her funeral and collect her ashes and I had to empty out her house and sort her finances. I asked everyone to help me and they all said no. My brother said “you didn’t bother staying with her the night she passed so why you bothering with all this?”. It really upset me bcos I really wanted to be there but without a babysitter, I physically couldn’t. He could have but all he cared about was her money which he took before she had even passed. I continued to ask a few more people to help and they all said no and that I was an AH bcos I didn’t stay with her but now I’m doing this. I don’t have a lot of family. I lost my nan and aunt 1 year apart and my grandad has dementia. I have no dad and no friends. I feel so awful for not being there with her and I hate myself for it. I can’t eat or sleep and I have nightmares where I can’t save her. I miss her so much and I blame myself for her being alone. Was I the AH here?Edit: Just to make things more clear, I worry if I’m the AH bcos maybe I could have tryed to find a babysitter? I don’t have anyone that I know who I would trust with my son. He has ADHD and Autism. He’s very particular about a lot of things and I don’t want anyone I don’t trust watching him. I just feel very bad and very conflicted about the situation. My mom lived with me for 4 years bcos no one else would help her. I loved that woman and now I feel so truly awful.

AITAH for not being with my mom when she passed away?

NTA

10tnb9s

I (25M) usually cook all the meals for me and my girlfriend (25F) throughout the week I'm just the better cook, but on weekends she normally makes breakfast. Today and like the past month or so she tried to make bacon, but it was burnt to an absolute crisp like black all over with maybe a smidgen of non burnt in the middle. Yeah the waffles, sausage, and eggs were great I tell her that everytime, but like every other time she tried to cook bacon and I told her it was burnt and tried to correct her methods "just take it off a little earlier" "turn down the heat a little". Hell, I even showed and taught her how to make it 3 times in the past month. My only real issue is we split the groceries and I buy the bacon, its expensive I guess inflation. But now she's upset and not speaking to me because I didnt eat the bacon and that I wasnt grateful. I'm upset because the bacon was a waste and now it resembles strips of charcoal in the trash can. I even proposed the solution that I will cook the bacon if need be no big issue. She doesn't eat bacon, so it's not like she's cooking it for herself too. AITA?TLDR: GF always burnin the good bacon till its black and crispy even after I taught her how to make it multiple times. Now she's mad at me for not eating it.

AITA for being upset about burnt bacon?

NTA