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10tpznk

I can only ask you guys to understand my point of view.I live in an apartment complex so you can imagine I see quite a fair share of cats, I just pet them and move on but 6 months ago is when I took in my cat Pamaela,she was very skittish and frail, infested with flees to the point that her skin was bleeding from the scabs on her body. No collar, no chip, no pictures on missing websites.Although she didn’t get along with my other cat(sadly had to put him down on thanksgiving ) they learned to be cordial and she opened up,I’ve never met a cat as affectionate and loving ,she genuinely won’t sleep unless laying on top of me.I was taking my dog on a walk and this guy stopped me started a conversation, he owns this kitten that frequently follows me and I told him I also have a cat. I send him a picture and apparently it’s his sisters? Crazy coincidence , he then without asking tells me to babysit the cat for the next month until she comes to get it and I have been on delivered for two days so I’m assuming one day out the blue he’s just going to ask for her back. I don’t know what to do because I love her and I have mixed feelings1. Why did she never go back home ?it’s a thought in the back of every cat moms mind if their kitty is coming home and they eventually do, my baby who got put down would always wait on the steps for me 2. Pam has attacked their other kitten before ( a kitten he told me wasn’t there’s and that they found ) 3.as an owner it’s ur responsibility to make sure ur pet has some type of collar or chip in case of a situation like this 4. Why was she in that condition. 5. If I heard my cat was found I don’t care if I’m across the country I’d come immediately to be with my baby not leave her with a stranger for another month. Again just want to hear other people’s feelings on this or if I’m just overreacting

AITA for not wanting to return my cat?

NTA

10tops3

My hubby&I have been friends with “Mac” for almost a 10yrs. We have always been there when he needs us, first long-term gf broke up with him, a good friend of his died, divorce etc. He has barely spoken to us since he got a new gf. He confided in us a lot during the divorce&in a moment of defending him, I think I said something I shouldn’t have. I don’t remember saying anything but it’s possible. His exes family would make up outrageous lies about him&it would fire me up, I could’ve said something I shouldn’t have but it was in a genuine manner. Not in a “talking crap” way. That being said, he has barely spoken to us since he got a new gf, it always like that. He’s only friends with us on his terms. Which is when he doesn’t have a woman in his life. (Before incident)Mac&hubby went deep sea fishing when our baby was 4m so we decided to take a trip together. It was HORRIBLE! They barely spoke to us. We would try to talk to them at dinner & his gf would ignore us&whisper in mac’s ear. I had to leave to work for a couple hours&instead of staying&going to the beach with them, my husband&baby went w/ me bc of how dinner went. Since then he hasn’t spoken to us much. But when he was single he was at our house EVERYDAY to hang out. Called/text both of us, individually, if the other didn’t respond. We truly didn’t mind.My husband had dinner with Mac&he told him that he had been avoiding us because of something I had said. Said that he knew I didn’t mean to hurt him&whatever I said was definitely genuinely meant, not derogatory. Husband told me. I tried to call 3x, text him w/ no response. Finally after a week he sent me a long message saying he forgave me for his & my hubbys friendship sake, that I shouldn’t have called 3x,&that if I wanted to speak to him, it needed to be in a group message with him, his gf&my husband. That it made him uncomfortable&that if it didn’t upset my husband that’s fine but he wanted to do it that way. (For background he would always text me privately, not in a group and call me if my husband didn’t answer&text me to talk about the divorce&see if we all could hang out.) &that my message “hope you can make it to our daughters party!”&happy holiday texts only saying “you” purposely left his gf out. I copy & pasted the same text to him&multiple people (headcount for party). It wasn’t purposely done to exclude anyone. My husband will read my texts, I’ll read his. NBD.Well it pissed my hubby off bad he doesn’t want to speak to him bc he knows if Mac&his gf broke up that he would be blowing our phones up. My hubby feels like our 10yrs of friendship warranted Mac to talk to me about it&find out if I said anything (he doesn’t trust the gf didn’t make it up or something. It’s obvious she doesn’t like us)&us talk it out. I know I definitely could’ve said something&I genuinely apologized. I’ll admit IATH. But, are we in the wrong for feeling like we’re all friends when it’s on mac’s terms/when it’s convenient for him?

WIBTA for being upset?

NTA

10tpuvf

My roommate is quiet for the most part but ever since she moved in I haven’t been getting much sleep. She slams doors and has loud sex which wakes me up. I have asked her on two separate occasions to keep the volume down and to not slam doors. It stopped but only for that day. Her bf now lives with us too which makes me uncomfortable. I’m thinking about reporting her to the shirt. I just want some sleep. Ps we live in the barracks

AITA for potentially reporting roommate

NTA

10tneci

Sorry in advance. On mobile and it's a long one.I(30sF) am the only child of my parents. My dad has some kids from his first marriage, but I'm my mom's only child. Parents got divorced when I was 10. Lived with my mom, but they had joint custody and my father was very active in my upbringing.I grew up in a small town in Texas. My gma(mom's mom) lived in the same town, and my mom's siblings lived nearby. I spent a lot of time with gma growing up since I was left alone a lot with both parents at work. Despite their proximity, I was never close to this side of the family and preferred holidays with my dad. Mom and gma are very... attention seeking? Everything has to be the best, it's all about appearances, I was raised to be seen not heard and to be the perfect accessory.Fast forward to me being 18. I apply to out of state colleges since my relationship with mother was rocky at best and I wanted to get away. Load up my car and Dad drives me to the East Coast. I come home regularly for breaks, but spend more time with my father because mom doesn't like that I've "left her all alone" and I was over her childish behavior. Started going LC with her, as she berated me constantly on my life "choices"(I'm a big gay), as well as coming to terms with the emotional abuse I grew up thinking was normal parenting.Right after Thanksgiving break one year, my mom has a massive stroke. I drop out of college to care for her, since I had power of attorney at the time. Her family visited once the first month she was in the hospital- the night she got admitted. My dad's family(keep in mind they've been divorced 10 years at this time)rallied around me and we would stay with her in shifts, they helped me with paperwork and getting her into good rehab spots.About the time my mother is becoming more alert, gma convinced mom to give gma power of attorney, essentially ruining all the work I did with paperwork, etc. Gma blows through my mom's insurance money on herself then sticks my mom in a nursing home to rot with no rehab, nothing. At this time I decide to go NC with mom, gma, and the rest of them. Gma is verbally and emotionally abusive to me and mom, and mom just spits out whatever gma says back to me. So for my own mental health I more or less wiped my hands clean of the entire situation. Gma finally died late last year. That side of the family reached out- power of attorney went to my uncle, mom's younger brother. But they're worried about his health and what would happen if he died... I told them that wasn't my problem. My dad's family has brought up over the years that I should reconnect with my mom, but I have zero interest in doing so. But now, with gmas passing, I have been thinking about it a lot. I'm her only child... would I be an asshole if I never reconnected with her?

AITA for not reconnecting with my mom?

NTA

10svd3d

I was at a heavy metal gig with a group of friends last night, in a medium sized venue. I was lucky enough to be right at the front. Now, as you might be aware, right at the front of the stage is not the place in the venue with the most space. People weren't exactly crammed in, but were definitely close together. Now, me and my friends were closer to one side of the stage rather than the middle, and there was some more space closer to the wall but not where we were standing.So anyway, there was a woman who decided that this was a great location to headbang. She had hair down past her shpulders, and was bent over, properly giving it her all. She was right behind me, and kept headbutting me and hitting me with her hair - she was also hitting other people in front of her with her hair but continued to headbang. Because of how closely the crowd was standing together, I was unable to move further away from her and since I had a spot at the front, I didn't want to move back. I think it's worth mentioning that nobody else was headbanging like this, because there just was not space. Everybody was vigorously nodding - and this one woman bent over at 90 degrees headbanging.I had had enough of this after the first 10 minutes but I waited until the band had finished because I didn't want to be a total arse and talk to her while the band was playing (a 1 hour set) to ask her to please not headbang like that when standing in such a crowded area and that she clearly had no consideration for the people standing near ber, because she would be able to tell that she was hitting them. She got really angry, and said I wasn't entitled to speak on behalf of the other people in the vicinity. The people in the vicinity agreed with me that being headbutted by her wasn't really fun for them.The woman stormed off, clearly in a huff. My friends were split on it, some saying that she was being inconsiderate and others saying that obviously there would be headbanging at a heavy metal gig.So what is the verdict? I'll take my judgement.TLDR: AITA for asking a woman to stop headbanging at a metal gig because she was headbutting me?NB: There were no mosh pits allowed in this venue, and I would guess the woman was about 40, if that matters. This was the during the opening band of 3 bands and I didn't want 3 more hours of being headbutted.

AITA for asking a woman to stop headbanging at a concert?

NTA

10udfmv

I(19 y/o) was just watching YouTube on my TV, and thevideos I watched were anime texting stories, mostly MHA(My Hero Academia). Most of them are funny, to be honest,(anime lovers, if you're reading this, have you watched anyanime texting stories on yt? If so let me know).Anyway, my mom came in asking me for help with somethingand I obliged, then while she was fixing some laundry while Iwas listening to my videos on tv. Out of the blue, she told me"it's not good to watch those kinds of videos" in our nativelanguage (Filipino). Il immediately reacted to her answer andtold her, to not poke her nose in other's business, and she saidthat she was "asking" when it was more of a statement thana question, and told her that she's gonna go quiet as if shedidn't do anything. Then she left the room.I know I'm being a bit sensitive here but here's whyWhat makes it more flattering is that she asked me aboutwhat I was watching on ty, I told her it was a texting story ofmy favourite anime I'm watching is more of a skit. I CLEARLYtold her this 2 times on different days she asked me this, butwhat makes it even more surprising, is that she told me thatstatement right now (even though I'm sure she's aware of theanswer that I gave her) she said that statement saying "it's notgood to watch what I was watching" when I was just watchinga funny texting story. I told her to come over to discuss it, butwhat I heard from her is that she was trying to change it thatshe was "only questioning and that it was just a question"which angers me even more to the point I'm yelling at her andarguing with her, and she's trying to break it up to evade thethe situation, when I told her that, that statement is offending me because first off, she asked me 2 times about what I'm watching and gave her my clear answer 2 times as well.The fact that it was almost our bedtime when this happened,so it was pretty clear she was trying to break up the situationto leave already, and she apologised.Now I was still frustrated after she left, and I did something to calm down my senses, and out of the blue, my sister (23) warned me menacingly next room...so now..she's trying to warn me in an angry tone to not do that when I did it to calm down, am I supposed to like what? She's not even a part of the argument but she's tryingto provoke as if that would do something, (keep in mind,my relationship with my sister is really not good at all, likea grudge-related kind of not good. I wouldn't want to describe the any further cuz it's not pleasant, plus I don't want to add any harsh words to not get my post removed) She provoked me first, by doing something while I was in a heated discussion with my mom.Please do not misunderstand as me being sensitive over this,Cuz believe me when I say I'm really surprised when l gavemy mom the really clear answer back then, before this allhappened (I'm now much more calm while typing this wholething down)(edit: about the 2nd explanation, what I meant by "clear" was she was aware of what I was watching, despite I'm pretty sure I told her my answers 2 times a few days back)With all this on, AITA??

AITA for reacting to my mom after telling me"it's not good to watch anime text story videos I'm watching on YT?

YTA

10sr5xw

Due to a successful house sale, I made enough money to buy a house to rent and one to live in. Despite this luck, I am not rich, but for once I am not worried about my bills. My mom has always been poor (as such, I grew up in it) because she is bad with money. She wanted out of her living situation with 3 roomates, so I decided to rent her my rental. I made it clear that this was a normal rental tenant situation, she wouldn't get a deal or whatever, because I need the rent money to make the rest of my finances work. I should have known, her budgeting habits did not change and she fell behind on her rent. After the third consecutive month of paying nothing, I sent her an eviction notice. She ignored that, and I got legal authorities involved and had her escorted out.I have 5 brothers, they've all shunned me. All of my aunt and uncles do nothing but talk crap about me and make out stupid falsehoods about me. My mom treats me like I have no heart. I am an outcast in my family because "I only love money."Did I handle this wrong? AITA?

AITA for evicting my mom from my house?

NTA

10teo5i

I was at a friend's house with some others for a party and we were playing truth or dare. I only knew one person, and everyone else was their friend. My friend (let's give them a name: Alissa) started first, saying 'Is it true you don't brush your teeth? Cuz my my it is as yellow as the sun!' too a poor girl who already took a lot of persuasion to even be there in the first place.Alissa started laughing at the girl who's cheeks turned cherry red. I then told her to stop being rude, and she said that she's a sadist and she can't help it. I personally believe that she tends to take stuff too far and doesn't notice when others actually feel hurt.She told me that I was being a 'party pooper' and ruining all the fun. I tried to comfort the girl that was literally crying Niagara Falls, but then I got kicked out.Am I the asshole?

AITA For telling someone to stop being rude?

NTA

10topa0

I (13f) am writing this because while i don’t really think i did anything wrong, my friend, ill call her A is really mad at me. This is definitely the most teenage problem ever but, A refuses to tell me her crush. She talks about them constantly to only me and no one else and I try not to ask who it is because i know that gets annoying. A says multiple times that the only person that knows is her other friend, L. Shes known L for maybe four months, but has known me for around 2-3 years. Back to the fact that A talks about her crush constantly to only me and never around anybody else, whenever she does it kind of hurts my feelings, because I don’t know it and I feel like A doesn’t trust me enough to know it. Heres the thing, A is always the first person I tell whenever I have a crush, and she knows this. Anyways, two days ago, A texts me and asks if snapchat has like profile view or something. I said i dont know, and A said good, bc im about to stalk his account. I finally ask, can you tell me who it is and she says no why would i and so I just ask her to stop constantly telling me about him if shes not going to tell me who it is. She left me on read and hasn’t responded to a single message I sent to her since then, shes talked in a groupchat shes in with me, but openly ignores me in it. I know A is made at me about the crush thing and I dont know what to do because if shes upset me, i know she tell all her friends about it and theyll hate me and then I wont have anywhere to sit at lunch or talk to at school. Also of course because she is my best friendSorry if this is hard to read or understand, im not the best at explaining things!! Ill try to update what happens?

AITA for being “rude” to my best friend?

NTA

10tm6sy

My mom asked me if I could give her uncle some money because he is poor and her plan was both of us having a share into whatever how much she will give to him and I said no.Her reasoning was he took care of me as a baby and helped her a couple of times financially when she was in a couple of tight spots.My reason for saying no is because I, myself don’t make that much money, and I’m struggling to have some sort of savings by the end of the month. I also don’t know this person on a personal level aside from me knowing him as my relative and hearing occasional stories about him. I have never spoken to him ever since I was a child and I guess now as an adult aside from the typical “Merry Christmas” messages on Facebook.Mom gets upset when I said no and said I should give back to others who have helped me and I should stop being so selfish and greedy, so AITA?

AITA for not wanting to give my mom’s uncle money?

NTA

10tn3d0

I (18F) have three school friends who I'll call K, N and W. For some backstory I had a pretty bad childhood (I'm not going to go into details here but you can find the full length details on the subreddit 'r/offmychest' under 'I am going to abandon all of my friendships because they deserve better'. I'm suffering from lots of mental illnesses, and I'm not going to lie my days now are just drained from happiness because of exams, but I still try my best to be the best friend I could and be there for them. However, I don't know if this is a disorder, but I suffer from regulating my emotions. I hardly feel anything for anyone nor anyone apart from my family, and honestly I'm finding myself slowly loose emotions for them as well.Now onto the problem,A few days ago, while K, N and I were talking, and I was informed that N did some sort of betrayal, and I know it's not my place so I kept quiet and joked it of by telling N that what she did wasn't right but left it as that. I wasn't rude, nor was I mean, but N was upset and said that she doesn't like the fact that I told her that I don't like her, nor do I consider her a friend.I was shocked, because a few days into a friendship I explained to them that I have this thing where I am uncapable of feeling emotions, and that I don't consider anyone my friend because to me it feels unfair to call someone a friend when I don't feel anything for them, but I did explain that I do enjoy their company and enjoy talking and hanging out with them. All three of them understood.I have always been a supporitive and caring friend, so I was a bit confused and explained to N once more that she shouldn't take it personally because I'm like that with everyone. I even pointed at K and K had no problem because she understood perfectly about my lack of emotions, and that because of my lack of emotions, it's hard for me to genuinely like someone. And while defending myself I listed out two other friends whom are irrelevant for this story, including W.Now here's the part where everything went downhill, N calmed down and we were back to normal, but a friend of W was there and heard that I stated that I don't like W and I don't consider her a friend. I did say that, but it was out of context, if W's friend was paying attention he'd know that I was listing off the people I struggle to genuinely like and that W is just on the list.In the end W and I are on good terms, but now I feel like an asshole because maybe if I had just shut my mouth instead of explaining myself, maybe this could have been avoided?Also sorry if this is too confusing, I'll gladly answer any of your questions! <3

AITA for tell my friend I don't like her?

NTA

10trg8w

This feels like the craziest situation to me and now I just don’t know what’s right anymore.In November I got two pure bred Bengal cats. Say what you will about animal breeding, I’m deathly allergic to cats, had tried to foster and couldn’t, had to buy less allergic. I’ve literally wanted cats my whole life. Anyway, that’s not the point.Two months ago the breeder ghosted me because I didn’t tag her in my Instagram profile… like “bred by xxx”.She never asked, it wasn’t in the contract, I follow LOTS of animals and almost no one has this in their profile. I tagged her in almost all of my posts and referred 8 people to her in the first month, but then she ghosted me anyway.Now I posted something today talking about how people don’t give follows as much anymore because the algorithm is too good.She commented on my post, for the first time in two months, and said “I’m not sure a follow makes sense all the time. I do think giving others credit for their contribution to your content is a MUST. Period.”I’ve read it with a few friends and I’m pretty sure she’s implying that since she bred the cats she has continuously contributed to my content? I’ve had them three months now and work with them 8+ hours a day to have the cats I have.I’ve been pretty certain I was in the right but now I’m like.. am I an AH or is she nuts? Help!

AITA for not tagging my cat breeder in my IG profile?

NTA

10sy5qz

I just lost my aunt and uncle whom I was close to. The current plan is for there not to be a funeral but a memorial in a few weeks' time. My wife had tendon surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago and still can't do much around the house so I have been doing all of it when I am home. Pretty much all of my emotional and mental energy has been going into caring for her, the house, work, and supporting her. She gets some help during the day while I'm at work from her sister who comes to sit with her since she can work from anywhere with her work laptop. I've been happy to do this for my wife. It's just that when I got the news the other day not even an hour after my wife was asking what I was making for dinner and started talking about her surgery again and I did my best to be there for her, and take care of her and me. She knows I was close to this aunt and uncle so I took a couple of bereavement days and she kept saying stuff like "I really need you right now." and "It's so hard seeing you sad like this I don't like it." I told her we really need to support each other right now and asked for support and patience. Her sister came over and asked why I was so mopey. I informed her about my aunt and uncle and she told me to pull it together for my wife who is still recovering from surgery. I packed a bag and told my wife if she isn't going to give me some support and let her sister talk like that to me, then I'd be going to a hotel for a few days to give myself space to grieve as I need. That was last night, I'm still at the hotel but my wife and her sister are calling me constantly and leaving messages that I'm being selfish, and that I can grieve during the memorial with my family. AITA for going to a hotel to grieve?

AITA for going to a hotel to grieve in peace away from my family?

NTA

10t8ip7

I have been sending money to my mother and my sister (26yo) for the past 7 seven years since I moved out and of my country of origin, Venezuela. Now that I have settled in the new country I am trying to make a life of my own. I am currently pregnant and I just got myself a car as I just learned how to drive as I couldn’t afford it before. I am also taking part time studies so I can grow further in my current workplace which they are paying for half of my career as part of the benefits they offer. My mother and my sister don’t work as they say is hard to find reliable transport and it is more expensive to go to work than actually working. I also have to send extra money for any other family member almost every month because they are struggling and “need a hand”, the money in total I send every month is about 20% of my monthly wage. I have spoken to my mom and said I don’t want to help anymore because it has become a burden where I have to pick up extra shifts in order to keep supporting them. When I told my mom I will only supply 2 months more so they have time to find a viable way of living she was ok at first but on the same day I have the rest of my family calling me out as selfish and that they will not be able to make it without my help. Am I the a**hole?

AITA for stop maintaining my family?

NTA

10suiyn

I've been putting a tray of snacks - personal size bags of chips, cookies, crackers, etc. - out in my cubicle so that my coworkers can come by if they feel peckish. It's been successful for over a year now, with many people coming by to grab something and sometimes staying to chat for a minutes.An important note here is that I buy these snacks with my own money and don't ask for payment or snack donations. While a few frequent visitors will bring a party pack on occasion to contribute to the tray, mots people do not and I am okay with that.Enter coworker (of equal level) John, who visits almost every day and has not yet contributed (but again, it's not expected). Recently John brought up his favorite snack - a specific type of flavored pretzel - and how he wished I had them on the tray. At first I thought he was kidding around, making small talk, or even throwing out a real suggestion; though, the snacks are difficult to find and pricier than I'm willing to go for communal snacks. Over the last few weeks, John ramped it up and has mentioned those pretzels a majority of the time he has stopped by. While I never gave an indication I would try and get them, I also never clearly rejected the idea - maybe I should have?Finally, John came in and gave what I perceived as a serious, non-joking complaint about the lack of pretzels (keep in mind he does this while eating the snacks I put out for free to which he has never contributed). I boiled over a bit and told him that if he wanted the pretzels, he should bring them himself for the tray or pay me to go get them. I tried to maintain a smile and pass it as half joking, but I admittedly said it a bit sternly and, while he didn't say anything, he seemed uncomfortable after.AITA for getting upset with a coworker who pestered me about the selection of free snacks I was putting out?

AITA for scolding a coworker?

NTA

10tni3l

Sorry about my ADHD writing. I have wrote this over and over and get more angry every time.My biological father left me when I was a young child and I have not seen him since. When I last saw him he was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I am 21 now and am in a bit of a tight situation. I was injured on a job and currently can’t work so I am on welfare and employment insurance so I am in need of financial help. He has recently been adding me on social media and he texted me happy birthday last year for the first time. I recently learned that he has 4 more children that are younger then me with different mothers. He is the scum of the earth and I hate that he is my blood. I don’t know his financial situation. I want him to know that I am struggling and see if he can or is willing to help. He has never paid child support for me once so I don’t know if he can financially can help. I want him to take responsibility. He was never there for me. If he won’t be here for me now then I will never have a relationship with him and I just hope he has insurance when he dies.AITA if I ask him for support after 16 years of not seeing or talking to him? I don’t think I want a relationship with him. I want his financial support.

AITA if I ask my biological father for support after him being absent my whole life?

NTA

10tnbdh

I (22M) have a 9 year old brother who is very into sports including tournament baseball, and church league basketball. For the past 2 years I have lived in my own apartment about an hour away from home, but this august I moved back in with my parents after college. Over the last few years I have tried to make it to as many games as I can, but I cannot be there sometimes because I have already made plans. Recently, I have started a full time job working 84 hours a week and his basketball games take place every Saturday morning. I try to make the ones that I can, but when I don’t come because I am tired or busy, my family shames me and says that I do not have my “priorities straight”. I do the best that I can, and I do make it to a majority of the games. However, any time I miss something that’s going on with him my parents send me passive aggressive text messages trying to make me feel guilty. This has been going on the entire time that I’ve been in college, and now that I am back home, it’s gotten even worse. My parents relationship with each other has been terrible, and I honestly think they’re taking their frustrations with each other out on me. Any advice for my situation? Am I in the wrong?

AITA for missing my little brothers sporting event?

NTA

10st683

My husband (30m), we’ll call him Nick, and I(26f) are currently pregnant with our first child. While making the baby registry, I was adding a bunch of classic(imo) books from childhood. For example: Rainbow fish, goodnight moon, I’ll love you forever, the very hungry caterpillar etc. They were just books that i thought most everyone from the USA knew as they were popular during my childhood. Nick said he had never heard of any of them, which I thought was crazyThis morning MIL called us at 9am(we were still in bed) asking if we would be offended if she continued to buy our baby girl clothes and stuff when she shops. MIL tends to overthink and has a lot of anxiety in general(diagnosed) and was asking because she sent me a picture of a sweater she bought(which not that it matters but it was a 6-9month boys sweater light blue with trucks on it. We’ll still have our daughter wear it) I had responded by saying “that is cute! I’m excited for all the baby clothes look what I bought” and showing her an outfit that I just purchased. She got anxious that since I didn’t say anything else about the sweater that I wasn’t okay with her buying things or had an issue with that sweater in particular. That’s why she called. We reassured her she’s good. She told me to keep buying the cute girly outfits and she’ll buy the outdoor play outfitsNick brought up how we made a registry and she asked me to send it to her mentioning that FIL might help with some big things and she’s excited about the small things. That’s when I mentioned the books. I told her that I put all the classic childhood books on there and was surprised that Nick didn’t know any of them and that we’re definitely going to buy themMIL instantly got offended saying not to believe “Nicks crap about how he didn’t have a good childhood” because of course she read him books but they played outside more and how I can ask anyone in the family and they’ll confirm that she was the best mom. She went on for a few minutes and in my opinion there were plenty of moments where she gave Nick an opening to just say yeah I did have a good childhood, and the whole thing would have ended right there. I was quiet and he didn’t say a thing and she hung up sounding like she was crying. As soon as she hung up I texted her saying Nick and I realize the only reason I remember the books is that I have more siblings so the books were in my house for close to 15 years whereas he’s an only child She sent Nick a text asking if he really thinks he had a bad childhood and how she did her best. Nick got mad at me saying I never should have brought it up and look what I’ve done. How I turned him into the bad guy just because he told the truth. I feel like he could’ve stopped it by just saying “no I don’t think I had a bad childhood” at any point but he thinks it’s my fault knowing how his mom gets anxious. MIL and I have had a great relationship up until this point but now her and her son both aren’t speaking to me. AITA

AITA for telling my MIL her son doesn’t know common baby books?

NTA

10tn9t5

I (17 female) and my parents have always been very close. I appreciate everything they do for me, as I would have nothing without them. I am a hard worker. My parents made me get a job when I was 14 and I have been working ever since to pay my bills such as my cellphone, and car insurance. I've always paid for my clothes, hygiene, makeup, shampoo, and any other products/things I needed or wanted. My parents gift me things here and there, which I am very thankful for, but if I want something nice I need to get it myself. I just got a new phone for Christmas this year, and when I say it was a Christmas present from my parents, I mean they went to the store and bought it with my money. I make payments on this phone every month but it is in my Dad's name.Recently, I have been stressing over what I want to do after school, this has made me on edge giving me a short temper. I have been trying to distance myself from others and just stay in my own space. My parents called me out for my "rude" behaviour and it made me upset because they never try to understand how I feel or what I am going through. One day I snapped at my dad for commenting on my motivation and he took my car and my phone away. I understood why I got my stuff taken away, but it's always frustrating when the stuff that I pay for gets taken away, especially on the account that I was standing up for myself.My phone was taken away for roughly a week, and when the week was over my parents let me know that my phone is not going to have any social media apps or "extra apps" on it anymore and I will only be able to use it to text and call. This made me very upset, but instead of yelling I just didn't talk to them. My mom called me out on it and said I shouldn't be mad because it's my "attitude" that got my privileges away, not them. I have always had restrictions on my phone, but I think this has gone way too far. I am gonna be 18 soon and am not going to be able to use the phone that I pay for in the way I want to. I hate it when my parents and I fight but I'm not about to apologize for being upset over something valid to be upset over. So am I the asshole?

AITA for getting mad at my parents for taking my phone away

NTA

10tgku7

My (22f) birthday happens to be on february 14th. I hated it since childhood as I was bullied for it being specifically on Valentine's day. Since the age of 10 or 11 I always wished that people would just leave me alone that day and pretend nothing happened, just like a normal day. Never asked or waited for presents or organised a party, it just never was important for me.Yet every single time my family would literally drag me to celebrate with them, throwing literal tantrums when I said I wanted the day to be ignored. It's almost a tradition that every year about a week before the date my fam asks me how I want to celebrate, I say I don't and then we fight for about four hours and I leave defeated. They never agreed to let it pass in peace.I understand that when I was a minor it could've been a way to show their care for their child, they used to say "adults are always right". But now that I'm an adult myself and moved out long time ago, they keep insisting I come and invite my friends. All that with a little twist: my parents are divorced since I was 8 and each half of the family wants me to celebrate with them specifically.Thankfully my friends have some respect for my wishes so they never mention my birthday. I also have a boyfriend and I would really prefer to just celebrate VD with him as normal people without my family causing a fuss.So what happened is that my father and I had a huge argument last night about this year's celebration. I said I don't think it should even be celebrated or noticed at all because it's my decision, he said it's his celebration too as he's the parent. I got annoyed and suggested that if it's the parents' celebration then why won't he invite his ex-wife and throw a party. He called me an asshole and said that the celebration will happen anyways and I must be there unless I want to ruin my relationship with the entire family.I'm certainly kinda frustrated because of this, these people never listen to me when I tell them to stop and leave me alone. But maybe it's true that I'm the asshole here and I should just play along to not upset him.So AITA for refusing to celebrate my birthday when my family insists I do?

AITA for refusing to celebrate my birthday on Valentine's day?

NTA

10toeuj

So I have been best friends with T for a decade, and over the years B (all 21F) got into the group. I was always the most active friend, proposing to hang out. B was always ready to hang out, and T was more introvert. However, with covid, T's anxiety got so bad that she was afraid to even meet up just the three of us. I do realise the pandemic got us in different ways.It got so bad that T missed my (small) birthday in 2021, but we still hung out just the two of us the day before so I knew she was trying.Then in 2022 she was basically absent from any hangout with B and me, she would just tell us she didn't feel like it. I tried many times to reach out to her to try and undertand if she had something going on, and she always replied that everything was fine. I tried not to push.Then my birthday in 2022 came up, and as I was organising a small dinner at my place, I obv invited T and B. But then a week before my birthday she texted me telling me she was sorry and she couldn't make it because she didn't feel like being around people. And I replied that I couldn't force her of course, but I was quite sad that she would miss it and I wouldn't lie to her. She replied that she understood completely (but she didn't even propose to hang out just the two of us). I was always the one initiating a conversation, so I decided to wait for her to text me first. For some reason neither B texted her but we kept hanging out.And after some months of silence, T texted B asking if she was mad at her, which B replied that no, she was not mad and neither was I. She even told T to contact me since I would be happy about it (which is true). Still no text.So I texted her how I thougt she would text me first but she proved she didn't really care about our friendship. I do believe I was quite diplomatic (subjective ofc). She replied with some harsh things, telling me I was a manipulator and that at the time she was going through a tough patch and didn't want for me to know about it because apparently I spill everyone's business around. I felt so guilty at first so I asked her to tell me the times I've behaved in that way (to understand and be better), but her reply was that "I haven't done it, but still I would do it" -- so I realised it that was just a mean thing to say to me.She then accused me and B to form an alliance in order to outcast her and not inviting her to hang out anymore, for which I replied that we have never behaved in a way to hurt her, but of course if she isolates herself and we have just supported her behaviour, she has nobody else to blame but herself. If she was struggling (and I believe she was) she could have reached us and tell us, because we cannot read minds. And also I was reaching ut to her at the time, trying to understand what was going on with her. At the end I wished her a good life.So, AITA?English is not my first language

AITA for not texting back my bff?

NTA

10tmpiv

so ive got 2 friends: friend A (F19), and friend B (F21) (im M18). whenever the three for us hang out in a voice chat, theyll always talk amongst themselves, and leave me out of their conversations. i try and contribute, but theyre always talking about something i have no idea about. i used to ask things like "oh, what does that mean?" or "ohh, what's that?" yknow? just trying to contribute as one does, but they leave me out so often, so now im just tired of it.ive straight up just left because they act like im not even there. i always get a "we're so sorry" in response whenever i explain to them why i left, but theyll just go ahead and do it again anyways. their apologies are meaningless now.most of the time theyll just flip the tables on me whenever i tell them they keep leaving me out of conversations. theyll say things like "it's not our fault that u have nothing to contribute" or "just talk. it's easy". im an introvert. it's really not so easy. they never take accountability for anything and will always try and blame everything on me, like im always the problem.im starting to feel a bit envious/jealous now, because while theyre getting closer to eachother as friends, im staying in the same spot (relationship wise) with both of them.AITA for feeling jealous/envious of their conversations/leaving VC whenever i feel left out?

AITA for being jealous of my friends conversations?

NTA

10trzeq

TLDR boyfriend who throws a fit if I don’t get his birthday perfect didn’t get me a birthday present this year, so I want to request money for the value of the last birthday gift I got himMy boyfriend of 3.5 years did not get me a birthday present this year. It has been over a month. I don’t really ask for a lot, as anything with thought will make me happy. But then my birthday came and went this year, and I got nothing from him. He was originally going to get me a ticket to an event, but we ended up not being able to go. This was known before my birthday happened, so he definitely had time to come up with a backup gift or choose from a list of things I didn’t get for Christmas. It has now been a month, and still nothing. Yes, it bothers me after being together for a few years and normally exchanging gifts for our birthdays, but it especially bothers me because he has had full meltdowns when I don’t get things for his birthday perfect and on the exact day.He claims he hates his birthday, but expects everyone around him to make it special. Two years ago he had a meltdown and physically stopped me from going to work because his present didn’t arrive in the morning (shipping delay that was not my fault and the package was still coming later that day), and that I didn’t read his mind that he suddenly was no longer interested in the restaurant I made reservations at. So for his last birthday I got him a $75 present that I knew he would love and made sure it arrived before the day. Of course I finally made him happy. But now for whatever reason he decided to not get me any present for my birthday when his first plan didn’t work out, and now he’s ignored me for the past month every time I’ve mentioned it to him how it bothers me.So should I request $75 from him (value of his last birthday gift) and just get my own present a month later?

WIBTA if I sent a money request to my bf for not getting me a present

ESH

10skypn

I (22f) got a lower back tattoo when I was 18. Ill be honest and tell you straight up that its pretty trashy, buy it made me feel sexy at the time so I got it. I dont normally cover it up because i dont really give a fuck what strangers think but i do normally keep it covered up around family. Im from Australia, since its summer here Ive been at my parents place a lot because they have a pool. My most recent visit my aunt, uncle and little cousins were over wanting to use the pool. I love my little cousins so i was pretty excited to play the cool big cousin and have some fun in the pool.Since I was already in the pool when they got there I was already in my bikini so obviously my tattoo was showing. My aunt saw it and freaked the fuck out yelling at me to cover up my "tramp stamp". I refused and she kept yelling.After refusing for the 5th time my aunt just packed up her kids stuff and left. I feel like a total asshole now since the kids didnt get to play in the pool after an hour drive and had to go straight back with another hour drive in this terrible heat. AITA?Edit: the tattoo from one of my comments so people dont need to go through the comments "is mostly just butterflies and in the middle in small cursive it says "this side up". The writing is small enough that you wont be able to read it unless your right behind me."

AITA for not covering up my "tramp stamp"

NTA

10se2cp

I'll get straight to the issueI'm getting married in about two months. We're having a pretty intimate wedding in terms of number of guests, so outside of married/engaged couples only people we know have a long term SO received a +1."Ella" is my half sister, she has a LD bf who's coming to visit. All well and good, but he'll be here the week of my wedding. She asked for a +1 to bring him, but I said that's not possible because we've already confirmed catering and everything, and I don't really know him that well. Ella tried saying I gave my friends +1s, but they've been in actual relationships for a couple of years, and they'll be hurt if I don't give them +1s. I said sorry, but this is our decision and I don't want other people getting upset, and other relatives asking why they couldn't bring their bf/gf of the month/week/day.She's now saying she won't be attending because it's disrespectful to her relationship and she wants to spend time with him before he leaves.I said she's being extremely selfish and acting like she's the only person who didn't receive a +1.This is causing issues between me and Ella, so AITA?

AITA for not giving my sister a +1 to my wedding and telling her she's being selfish?

YTA

10re8db

I (M24) have been dating my girlfriend (F23) for about five months. Every other month, my grandmother hosts a large family dinner with all my close relatives. She encouraged me to invite my girlfriend over for the dinner yesterday. For some context, my entire family and I are black, and my girlfriend is from a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant family.I was at the dinner yesterday, and I went to go hang out with my niece, (F7) who I'm very fond of, and the rest of the kids to play Monopoly. My girlfriend tagged along.My niece was counting the play money to pass out to everyone, and one of the other kids said something about how he wanted to be rich and get all the 500 dollar bills. My niece, out of nowhere, blurted out that she couldn't be rich because she's an n-word. I was totally taken aback, and asked her who told her that. Apparently, some bully at school said that to her on career day when they were sharing dream jobs, and she said she wanted to be a rich president.I told her that that wasn't true at all, and hugged her, and she started crying. Then, my girlfriend jumped in, and told my niece that it's really important to forgive the boy who said that because he probably wasn't trying to be mean and was just confused. I was totally shocked, and told her she needs to stop trying to justify what happened. She then tried to hush me, and started baby-talking my niece and said that she should also try to be nicer to all the kids at school, because "kindness goes both ways." I was totally livid at this point, and pulled my girlfriend aside and quietly but angrily told her she "needs to learn when to shut the fuck up." She started getting riled up at me and started rambling about how statistics are on her side (idk what the hell she meant, I wasn't really processing what she was saying,) but I told her to get out of my grandma's home, and just leave already (she drove me here in her car, and I was planning to hitch a ride home with my brother.)This morning, I got multiple calls from my girlfriend's sisters calling me an abusive and shitty prick. I know my words were harsh, but I thought my girlfriend was talking in a disgusting manner to my niece. AITA?

AITA for telling my girlfriend that she needs to learn when to shut the fuck up?

NTA

10qxv7b

I (F33) lost my husband very unexpectedly 7 years ago. We knew each other from a very young age and married when we graduated college. I have known his family for almost my entire life and they are the closest I have to actual family (my own family situation has always been difficult ). I became very close with his parents in particular (I will still call my "in laws" in this post) and we supported each other heavily through the grief process. We didn't have children before he passed, but we were trying. I still miss my husband every day.I began slowly dating again 4 years ago - mostly casual dates and nothing serious. In laws were broadly supportive. I told them I was ready to date and they said OK, but didn't want to know the details. I only ever spoke about my dating life vaguely and infrequently to them.Around the same time, I got a big promotion and began to spend a couple months a year in Paris for work (pandemic permitting). Then 1 year ago, I met Armand (M38) and started my first serious relationship since being widowed. Given Armand lives in Paris, our relationship is based there and while we have travelled quite a lot together, we haven't been to the US together yet. He hasn't met my in laws, but I have told them I am dating someone.Around Christmas, we found out I was pregnant. This was a total surprise as we weren't trying. We have since decided that I will move to France permanently instead of splitting my time between the US and France, so that we can raise a family together. It isn't really possible for Armand to move to the US - he works in the art industry and his studio and backers are all Europe based.I told my in laws and they were deeply upset. They said I was depriving them of their only opportunity to have a grandchild (my husband was an only child). They then accused me of moving on too quickly and not loving my husband. In the end, we had a huge argument and they have demanded that I leave all my husband's belongings from our apartment (his clothes, personal effects, etc) to them when I move to Paris. They also demanded my engagement ring, which is a family heirloom. They said they should have these because while I have moved on, he will never stop being their son.I said no, these things are all treasured memories from my life with him that I never want to forget. They have threatened legal action to recover the ring in particular. I'm not sure they have a proper legal right. But I can see the hurt I'm causing them with my choices and maybe giving them what they ask for, they will be able to have closure. AITA for continuing to refuse?​**EDIT 1. In response to comments:*** After the funeral, I already gave many of my husband's possessions to my in laws. What I kept were some clothes that reminded me of happy times, things with his handwriting on it, memories from trips, etc. I want to keep these. It's not like I will be lugging a huge amount of things to Paris. I don't think it's unreasonable that I keep these. They're memories WE made, not with his parents.* The ring is trickier... but it is the biggest reminder to me of the relationship we once had. It really breaks my heart to give it away.**EDIT 2.** Wow, I really didn't expect to wake up and see so many comments. Thank you all who shared their thoughts. A few clarificatory points in response to messages I've received (both posts below and DMs):* A poster below pointed out it was worth clarifying that I don't have a separate wedding band. We couldn't find one we liked and which matched the ring, so my engagement ring is also my wedding band, which my husband put on my finger in the church.* I really don't want to lose the relationship with my in laws. They have always been so kind to me (before this all happened) - for example, I've been spending every major holiday like Christmas, etc, with them for the past decade. But neither do I want to bend to their unreasonable behaviour. Moving to France and going completely silent isn't an option, I do want to repair the relationship in the long term. Ultimately, I'd love them to visit us. * The argument happened over the phone as I have been in Paris since we found out about the pregnancy and I didn't want to delay telling them the news. I am due to fly back for a month or so to get my affairs in order soon. I intend to meet them in person then, if they agree.* A few posters were concerned about what Armand thinks, which is very kind of them. Armand and I have a strong relationship and he has known about my husband since the beginning. He respects that I want to keep a piece of the marriage with me and has encouraged me to bring anything I want over to help with the transition. We are also not engaged, nor do I expect to be in the immediate future, and I'm in no rush on that front. We're comfortable as we are.* Finally, there were some concerns over if I use the ring. I do wear the ring frequently and it's the only ring I wear with any regularity. Someone also suggested that I might need to sell the ring in the future for the benefit of my new family. Without going into detail, both Armand and I earn more than enough for this to never be a necessity or an option.

AITA for not giving my late husband's belongings to my in laws?

NTA

10v5jrh

My ex and I have a 10 years old daughter. I wasn't ready to be a parent when she got pregnant so I suggested either she gets an abortion or she can keep the baby and I will pay child support but I won't be involved in her life. She wanted to keep so that's what we did.About a year ago I started to regret my choice and decided to contact my ex and ask to see my daughter. It went really well. She is just the sweetest kid. I started by visiting sometimes but she wanted to see me more so her mom agreed to let her. We slowly made it more and now I have her her every other week.The rules in my home and in her mom's home are very different and it has made her to act up a bit when she is with her momFor example her mom expects her to do her homework first before she does anything else, I expect her to have all her homework done by the time we want to sleep. I don't care when she does it as long as it's done.Now my ex is calling me an asshole and saying I'm making things harder for her and I need to follow her rules

AITA for not following her rules?

YTA

10v6dbd

My husband has a daughter with another woman who was conceived during a time when our relationship was open. We only found out about her when my stepdaughter was 3 and her mother has been a headache to deal with from the start. She’s even gone so far as to encourage my stepdaughter to behave badly whenever she’s at ours.We have her one weekend a month but my husband was going to be away on a business trip when she was supposed to be with us. I decided it would be for the best if my stepdaughter stayed with her mother instead of with me while my husband was gone for several reasons. Her behaviour is a lot worse whenever my husband isn’t around as she doesn’t think she has to listen to me and she’s extremely rude to our nanny. Our oldest and her constantly fight which isn’t something I wanted to deal with. Lastly, her mother has made it clear in the past that she doesn’t want her daughter left alone with me so I thought this was the perfect solution that would keep everybody happy.My husband was fine with it and he informed my stepdaughter’s mother. That Friday, I only asked our nanny to collect my son from school as I assumed her mother would collect her since she would be staying with her. She wasn’t picked up on time and her mother called me furious that we left her there. She tried to make me go and collect her but I refused so now she’s accusing me of trying to isolate her daughter from her siblings, and for being a nasty stepmother. She couldn’t get into contact with my husband so she called his family to try to make me look bad and to force me to take my stepdaughter during my husband’s time with her even though he wasn’t there.AITA?

AITA for not having my stepdaughter picked up while my husband was on a business trip?

NTA

10v6rmr

A lot of elements here. Please ask for info if needed. My fiance Matthew is constantly telling everyone that I hog the entire bed and that he has all of 6 inches of bed to sleep on every night. Claims he got no sleep because of me. He doesn't say it maliciously but it's become the butt of the joke and gets brought up often. Now the thing is, it's a bold faced lie. I'm an insomniac and during the night I wake up at least 3 times, if not more, and every single time I wake up I'm pushed all the way to the edge of the bed to a point of my legs being half off because he takes up the entirety of the rest of the bed and is right on top of me practically. Countless times I've woken up to his arm over my face, his legs up over me, etc while I'm basically dangling off the bed with no blankets. So not only are his stories a lie but it's the complete opposite of what he tells people. Other element, my fiance hates having his picture taken. Any time I try taking a picture of him he will tell me to stop. We have been together 5 years and we have maybe 3 pictures together. I think his most recent photos on social media are from like 6-7 years ago. He just hates it. It does bother me because I'm the opposite. I take a lot of pictures. Not of myself but if everything else. Places we go, friends, our animals, etc. I love pictures (I'm also a photographer) and I don't post these photos anywhere. They are simply for me to look back at as fond memories. But he hates it either way and I eventually stopped trying to photograph any memory of him because of how bad it pissed him off and having him make me feel stupid about it (him calling me pretentious or "cliquey" for taking so many photos). But after he started lying to everyone about the sleeping issues and making out like it was all me and that he's not sleeping, etc, I started taking pictures of him sleeping to show him how untrue this is. Yesterday he made a comment about me sleeping up his ass all night. I knew it was a lie because I had woken up at 3am and he was practically on top of me and I ended up getting out of bed and staying up. So I showed him the pictures I had taken over the course of the week and told him he can stop lying and making out like I'm the problem when it's him. He immediately got pissed and said I violated his privacy and a few pictures don't prove anything. AITA?ETA: I didn't do it as a petty revenge scheme. I did it to prove to him that he is making it all up so he would stop lying to everyone every single time we talk to people because I'm getting tired of being the butt of the joke and it being talked about constantly. I can't even hang out with mutual friends anymore without several of them bringing up the fact that I "don't let him sleep". I've brought it up to him several times prior to taking the photos and he always said I was lying and "clearly didn't know" my own sleeping patterns and that it's "just a joke".

AITA for taking pictures of him while he sleeps?

NTA

10v61ub

I [26f] am getting married soon and have a brother [25m]My brother takes seasonal work at a large farming operation near here for part of the year. I don't know much about it besides that they do goat breeding and have tons of pigs and chickens.He says he takes it because the pay is more than double of what he would make elsewhere. I try to tell him that there's a reason they have to pay that much, because it ruins your social life and makes you impossible to be around. He seems to think it's worth it (he's done it 5 years in a row now) but I try to avoid him for that part of the year.Well, our wedding plans happen to fall within that part of the year and honestly the thought of him coming to the wedding reeking and offending the other guests is very embarrassing, so I decided not to invite him.When he found out he was very hurt, and I explained that I felt like I had no choice, I know it's inconvenient but I've tried telling you that that job makes you impossible to invite to things but you don't listen. He said he could have tried to get a week off beforehand, but honestly I think it takes more than a week for the smell to go away, and besides, I knew that they don't really allow much time off during the busy season.He asked if I couldn't have just scheduled the wedding during the time of the year he wouldn't have farm work, but I don't feel like I can (or should have to) plan my life around him, this is what worked for us. But he's pretty upset he didn't get a warning.AITA?tl;dr didn't invite brother to wedding because he stinks, he's upset

AITA for not inviting my brother to my wedding because of his grossness?

YTA

10v6o8a

I’m 21My mother is 40.Will try and be brief as I don’t have much time.I grew up with just my mother, dad didn’t want anything to do with me.My mums family had kicked her out like two years before I was even born so they weren’t involved, my mother struggled a bit and worked so often that I rarely saw her.She wasn’t a bad mother, she just wasn’t around…like she’d manage to get time off work for school events, if I gave her a weeks notice or she’ll bring me to a club and then she wouldn’t be home that night because she’d have to work a different shift…it felt more like a roommate situation.It got better when she met her husband five years ago, and I’ll admit she pays half my rent and bills as she feels like she owes it to me for not being around, I’m just accepting until I finish university and then hopefully I’ll be able to pay her back.Well, last week she told me she’s pregnant! And out of reflex I pulled a face for the reasons above, but as I said things have changed, and because of her age.She pulled me on it, I apologised and said it was more reflex than anything I actually think…also the fact for the past 13 years she’s said she doesn’t want another childShe said she “needed to think” and I left, we haven’t spoken since.AITA?

AITA for “pulling a face” when my mother told me she’s pregnant

NAH

10v6aol

So my mum is constantly stealing my perfume bottles. It really upsets me but she has this thing that we are mother and daughter so we should share things.Anyway my husband bought me the Tom Ford Rose Prick perfume a couple years ago and ever since my mum has been using it up whenever she visits me or I go home.So for her birthday I bought her the 100ml bottle (which is over £300). I gave it to her while I was visiting home for her birthday. The last two days before I was leaving to return home I realised I hadn’t seen the perfume on her dresser but I didn’t think anything of it.When I got home I unpacked my suitcase and realised that my bottle (250ml size) was missing. I called my dad (mum would be busy working) and asked him to check if I left it in my room. He messaged back to say he didn’t find any in my room just the one bottle on mum’s dresser in their bedroom and sent me a photo of it to confirm that it was the same perfume I was talking about.I realised that the bottle in the photo was not the 100ml size I got for my mum, but the larger 250ml I had. I messaged mum asking what was going on and she called me back and said that she broke/spilled her bottle so she replaced it with mine and it was fine I could get myself a new one.I snapped and called her a liar and a thief and I haven’t spoken to her since. Dad gets why I’m mad and has offered to pay for a replacement but he wants me to make up with her because he doesn’t like being in the middle of us both being mad at each other

AITA for arguing with my mum over perfume?

NTA

10v6msw

I (30s) am part of a small group of friends (5 people + me, all same age) that have been spending time together for the better part of 10 years, at first we spent a lot of time together, traveled to each other's towns and celebrated special events.For the past few years I've noticed that I've always gone out of my way to join them in celebrations, help them move, do favors for them and their family, etc. And they do not do the same for me. I've had some pretty big life events that I wished to celebrate with them (catered event and all) and only some of them joined in only because it happened to be on the same day they were in town for x and y reason so they passed by for a little while.Granted, we all live in different states, and as we get older, our own personal lives make it difficult to make these kinds of efforts, but thanks to social media I constantly see them visiting each other (once to the town where I live). some even for plans that I suggested and started planning with them.I've discussed their flakiness and they always say they're going through episodes of depression/anxiety, and have a hard time communicating with people when this happens.Recently I blew up and argued about how their depression/anxiety does not excuse the one sided relationship they take advantage of. Since then, I've not heard from any of them.AITA for throwing their anxiety/depression as their scapegoat for taking advantage of me?

AITA for not wanting to support my friends anymore?

NTA

10v6x78

My 59 year old mother is a terrible person. She had a horrible life, never got the help she needed and has been horrible to us kids. I truly don't think she knows how to love anyone but herself. My siblings and I are low contact with her but we constantly deal with her lying, manic tantrums, verbal and emotional abuse and gaslighting. I could write a whole separate post about her behavior but lets just say I'll never trust my kids alone with her and being around her myself freaks me out because shes so mentally unstable. Her own mother convinced her she was to stupid to do anything and was more abusive so she is uneducated, has never held a stable job while also having a spending problem. She has no retirement, no savings, no health insurance, is renting an apartment so she has nothing to her name. She is one accident away from being poor and homeless.She continues to spend money on trips, clothes, gym, etc and thinks parents are entitled to their adult children helping them financially and that's just how it is.She recently told us about some big trip she was planning and I finally told her she needs to get serious about saving because I'm not going to financially support her due to her bad financial decisions. I told her my money is going to give my own children a better life and she needs to get it together. She of course said "my generation" is so entitled and terrible because we won't help our parents blah blah. She ended up freaking out, telling me how horrible I am and hasn't talked to me since. AITA?TLDR: My mother has no savings, retirement, or health insurance and I told her I won't be helping her financially.

AITA for telling my boomer mother I wouldn't help her financially when she is old and shes on her own?

NTA

10v6k3f

I (16f) live with my mom (35f) and two other people. All three of them make good money and we have extremely low rent for our area. I work 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week and don’t attend school so I can focus on saving money. The whole reason I dropped out is so I could spend these years living with my family to saving money for my future without school taking up the whole day. I did the math and I would have well over $100,000 by the time I’m 19. (Including a hefty sum I get from my tribe) I plan of getting my ged or finishing my last two years of high school on line as soon as I get my own place but that won’t be possible unless I save my money now. Recently my mom has been making comments every time I ask for something like food or hygiene products. “You make so much money with that job and not paying rent you think you could afford your own shampoo” this really pisses me off considering I literally DROPPED OUT so that I could save money by living with them now and do school later + I’m literally 16. The past month I’ve been showering every week or so and using as little amount of product as well as eating very little. I know the more money I cost the more likely my mom is going to cut me off financially and expect me to pay rent and shit. So I cost her roughly $20 a month not including bills (I haven’t been using my phone electricity and I’ve been getting water from work and filling up a jug for drinking water) my mom noticed since I look like shit and asked me what’s wrong. I told her “I can’t afford to shower or eat. It’s either suffer now or loose my dreams and I’d much rather suffer now.”I’ve struggled with depression for many years and when I was younger I would rarely shower or eat so I’m used to it. She accused me of trying to manipulate her and guilt tripping her but honestly I just want to save my money dude. I would’ve never mentioned it or brought it up but she asked and I answered truthfully hoping she’d maybe lay off me. I’ve been avoiding her in hoes that she doesn’t cut me off financially. If she doesn’t idk what I’ll do cuz I’m not willing to give up my dream. I might be the ass cuz I would have just lied to her about it instead of “manipulating “ her into feeling bad Aita?

AITA “manipulating” my mom into buying me necessities?

NTA

10v7uh6

I, 19 male, had a really rough childhood. I had an incredibly abusive mom and it made me hate the consept of blood families. I hated the fact that I couldn't change or choose who I can consider as my family and had to accept toxic people in my life only because we are related. When I was a teen, I had the chance to go away from my mom and went living with my dad. Since they were divorced for a long time, he has his own family now. He has a wife who has two older kids. She is pretty cool but she puts her own family on a pedestal and sees it as the ultimate form of happiness. I'm pretty sure she sees is as so important that it becomes a little toxic for her. When I mooved in, I told her on multiple occasions that I didn't cared if anything happens to my mom, and she seemed shocked, why ? Because "she is still your mom and because she is my family, you still have to be respectfull". And she didn't stopped telling me that I should still give her respect, even if she abuses all of her kids (me and all 3 of my sisters). It has been almost 3 years since I mooved in and even to these days, she still insists that my mom is still my mom and I should respect her. Those comments increased my negative view on families, and it made me even more rude about it. It got so bad that at one point, after my parents told me that no matter what, family is family and i should respect them, I told them that they should stop telling me this because, in the end, family doesn't matter that much for me. This, of course, infuriated my step mom and acted like I insulted her whole family. They keep on and on pressuring me to love with no condition my family despite my past. But the more i think about it, I wonder if it was kind of a shit moove to tell her that family isn't that important, especially if they abuse you. I know she can't understand it because her family is rather good. And I still said it out of stress and anger. Tldr : step mom keeps telling me that i should care about my family no matter what, despite having trauma related to it, and told ther that i give little fucks about it and it made her upset.

AITA for telling my family that I don't see family as a priority in my life ?

NTA

10v7ktk

My brother (m 17) has recently been trying to find a job and he was hired for one about 2 days ago and had his 1st day today. However, the pay isn't very good, I believe he said it was £4.81 even though it's the minimum wage for someone his age in the UK. He’s now nagging me to put a good word in for him at my current place.For context, about 4 months ago I got hired at a supermarket that paid well and the pay was above minimum wage. So everyone got paid equally, only it varying if you’ve worked at the store more than 3 years. I work at a branch closest to our home. A month later, he applied for a store assistant position at the same supermarket as me. His application was well done, and I was proud of him for taking a step forward. He was emailed not too long later to come in for a group interview. He was excited and booked the interview for that week.But later I found out that family members cannot work in the same branch from my manager. I told him this and explained he could still work for the supermarket just at a different branch. The 2nd closest branch was just a little further away, but you could still easily get there by bike or bus. For some reason, this information really pissed him off and I tried to get him to calm down. As he continued to rage on about it, he insulted my manager of the branch I work at and the area manager of our town. He screamed that I should move branches so he could work at the one I was at. I explained that was impossible because I was still being trained, but I had also just gotten to know everyone at this branch. I had already settled in. I decided to leave it at that. The day of the group interview comes, and he didn’t go saying he didn’t want to travel to a different branch. I didn’t say anything else other than, he couldn’t apply for the supermarket for another 6 months now.Fast forward to now, I’ve worked for this supermarket for 4 months now and I have no intention on leaving this job or branch for a while. My brother doesn’t like his pay and has been talking about it none stop. He keeps nagging me to put in a good word for him and I keep saying no, explaining he shouldn’t have insulted the people he could have potentially worked for. He says I’m being unfair and that he’s willing to travel to another branch now. But I keep repeating myself saying, you should have been willing 4 months ago. Our dad thinks I’m being harsh, but I think I’m being reasonable. So AITA?

AITA for not wanting to put in a word for my brother?

NTA

10v6rj7

When I get into arguments, I vent to my friends like any other person does. Yesterday my gf ended up finding out that I was talking shit about her to my friends. She was even more mad about me talking shit about her to my friend Tiffany.I showed her the conversation and she saw some messages where Tiffany and I flirted a few weeks before my gf and I started dating, where I called Tiffany attractive. She got upset but those messages were from before so they don't matter. Now she won't talk to me and called me an asshole for talking shit about her to everyone. I think I have the right to vent to anyone, no matter the gender and I think she's blowing this out of proportion. But my gf thinks I'm in the wrong and said my messages implied that I didn't care if she died. AITA?

AITA for talking shit about her to my friends?

YTA

10v9q3s

We've got an important family party in 3 weeks, an engagement party for my son's cousin Rachael, 28, who lives in Iowa. We live in SoCal.Anyway, my son wants to go to the wedding in this brightly-coloured crop top from DollsKill and a denim skirt from SHEIN, he said that it's what he likes and he's got a newfound interest in fashion, finds men's fashion dull and boring. I told him no, I'm not buying him a $40+ crop top and $60+ denim skirt and he can't wear that to an engagement party, but he said it's what he feels comfortable in.He's a fan of the models on Dollskill and uses the site as a personal fashion guide.I'm more worried, as a mom, about negative attention and him taking attention away from his cousin.I told my son "There's a time and a place for everything... but your cousin's engagement party is not it" and then said we would discuss his newfound interest in fashion at another time.It's a semi-formal party in terms of dress; party with buffet, music, alcohol, soft drinks, soda, hoagies etc.He's a nice guy, but I'm a bit concerned about this.I haven't anything against crossdressing or my son's interest, but do worry that he's chosen the most inopportune occasion to display this flamboyance.I love my son for who he is, but AITA for telling him no, it's not right to wear this at the family party?

AITA for telling my son (16M) "No, you can't wear that crop top to the family party in 3 weeks"?

NTA

10v84t1

Over the weekend my extended family got together to celebrate a belated Luna New Year.At one point in the evening one of my cousins (23F) shared that she started seeing someone. Let's call her Paris. Everyone was happy for her seemingly except for another one of our cousins (32F). Let's call her Nicole.Nicole opined that being only 23 and already onto a sixth boyfriend is "not classy". Paris snapped back with, "how many boyfriends should a 23 year old have then?". I (31M), perhaps regretfully, chimed in, "zero, just like Nicole.".I thought my comment was fair game, given Nicole's comments about Paris' love life. But, evidently, Nicole didn't see it that way. She tried to throw her plate of food at me, which failed to make the distance, and instead splattered on those nearer to her. Nicole then proceeded to storm off saying, "you're out of line.".In the moment I just laughed it off.Later it was explained to me that Nicole was just trying to be "helpful" towards Paris, and that my comments were unprovoked and unnecessary. I'm not sure how much I agree with that explanation. But I guess I'll let you be the judge of that.AITA?

AITA for making fun of my cousin for never having had a romantic partner?

NTA

10v8lgs

I’ll keep this short because this just happened.I went out for a quick lunch at a place around the block from my house where you get the food at the counter and then take the tray to your table. This time, when I was about to pay, the screen prompted me to add a 15, 20 or 25% tip which I found ridiculous! So I opted to not tip. That’s when, what I thought was a manager, made a snarky comment about how “if you can’t afford to tip, you should not eat out”. So I asked them to repeat themselves to my face. That’s when they introduced themselves as the owner and repeated but with a smug face “if you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out to eat”. And I replied “if you can’t pay your employees a decent wage, don’t run a business”.They called me an AH, issues a refund and told me to never go back as I was banned from the restaurant.So I’m asking, was I the AH for not tipping at a fast food restaurant?

AITA for refusing to tip and making a comment about it?

NTA

10vaeu8

I (24 F) got engaged to Derrick (30 M) one month ago. Prior to that, we had known each other for six months. I know that’s not a long time, but when you know, you know. We are madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully. My sister (26 F) has a problem with that though. She was supportive of my relationship with Derrick before we got engaged. When I sent her a text telling her we were engaged, she responded by saying “congratulations.” But then when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly consider the marriage. She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more. That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she’s basically saying my love isn’t that important. She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law. Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually asked her, very directly, “do you support me marrying Derrick?” She said no. So I stood up, told her she shouldn’t be at the wedding if she didn’t want us to get married, and left. I haven’t talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk. Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn’t support us. So we are planning not to invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yesterday, and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her. So, AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?

AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?

YTA

10v9bup

My wife [29F] and I [31M] recently had a baby, and we’re lucky that it’s been a delightful 2 months since. Unfortunately my uncle passed recently. My uncle was instrumental in my upbringing; he looked after me 3 evenings a week for ~10 years old, encouraged the hobby which eventually became my career, and was all around a wonderful man. I felt I had to go to the funeral. It pained me to travel 1000 miles so soon after my child was born, but I talked it through with my wife and we agreed a plan. I flew out the evening before the funeral, and left the evening afterwards. I slept in a hotel that night but woke early and got back by 8am that day. Not wanting to leave my wife unattended, my SIL (who lives about an hour away from us) agreed to take 3 days off from her job and come to help out in the house. As soon as she arrived, she was amazing. She spent time with both of us asking our preferences when it comes to baby care (changing, playtime, nutrition, etc). She then pulled me aside to ask things like where we kept our various cleaning supplies, if my wife has any strong preferences/aversions to cleaning practices, what food we had on hand and what she could go and pick up, etc. I was amazed at her generosity, especially in the haze of a newborn and grief. The funeral happened and I made it back as planned, but SIL had the rest of the day off and chose to spend it helping out further, allowing my wife to rest and me to wallow a bit. All said and done, I couldn’t be more grateful to my SIL. I obviously expressed it in words, but wanted to get her a gift to express my gratitude further. SIL LOVES the Tiffany brand, so I found a bracelet I knew she didn’t have and might like, and asked my wife what she thought. To be clear, I would have paid for this myself, and we’re lucky enough to be able to afford this comfortably. I also buy my wife jewellery fairly regularly - mostly from smaller brands, as that is her explicit preference. She has said multiple times how she doesn’t want ‘big name’ jewellery, even if money was no object. We’ve explicitly mentioned Tiffany in these discussions. My fiancée wasn’t happy, to say the least. She pointed out that I’d never bought her Tiffany jewellery (though as above, we’ve discussed how she’d never want any), and that it was a lot of money for ‘a bit of household help’.I made my point that SIL’s help let me go to an important funeral I otherwise would have missed, provided great assistance for a few days, and that we were lucky enough to easily afford this treat as a token of gratitude. I asked both sides candidly if there were any issues whilst I was away, but neither said that there were. I’m at a loss; I obviously won’t upset my wife, but feel strongly that I’d like to treat SIL for her help. WIBTA if I got her the bracelet? Cash or some other token gift don’t seem quite worthwhile to me.

WIBTA for treating my SIL after she helped us out in an emergency?

NTA

10v8gqv

My fiancé and I were living close to both of our parents, and moved out of state and now live very close to my fiancés’ sister and maid of honor (“SIL”). She hasn’t been involved with wedding planning at all, even though she is familiar with the area (my parents live out of state). My parents booked the venue last year, and are covering the cost of the venue. A few days ago, I went out to lunch with the SIL and was asking her opinion on center pieces. Her initial opinion was that the centerpiece were overpriced and she wanted to ask her aunt for advice because her aunt just planned 2 weddings in the same area. The SIL freaked out when I told her the price per person, and said the venue was garbage and my fiancé and I are stupid. I reminded her that I’ve been trying to involve her, and her opinion would have been useful while we were booking the venue. I reassured her (1) the price was reasonable based on my experience looking at 10+ different venues; and (2) MY parents are paying for it. I then told her to also ask her aunt about price per head because her aunt has similar amount of people. She responded by saying “why would I ask my aunt? You don’t even have a house; when my cousins (aunts children)have a house”. I told her she can’t use that as a baseline because her aunt bought the house for her children (cousins), and we just moved to this new state and are beginning our careers whereas her cousins are well established for many years here and technically don’t own the house because the Aunt owns the house that they live in. The SIL proceeded to call me stupid, materialistic and pretentious for “trying too hard” to be on the same caliber as her cousins and throwing a wedding I can’t afford clearly because I can’t even afford a house. (Technically I can afford a house but am choosing to rent because the housing market is not good and I’d rather wait 1-2 yeas for the market to cool down).I have a close relationship with my mom, who has been putting in so much effort and even flying to my new state to help plan the wedding. I am considering telling my mom because I feel bad that MY parents are paying for his family and guests, and are the only ones putting in any effort helping me plan the wedding. I know my mom will be extremely upset, and I don’t want to “shoot myself in the foot”. I think my SIL has been extremely disrespectful and my fiancés family have not been involved at all - I’d rather just not have a wedding if my fiancés family is going to treat me like this. Some backstory: the SIL is 32 and single and known to have a big mouth and be rude sometimes. AITA if I tell my mom everything my future SIL has been saying; and consider cancelling the wedding or asking for his family to cover his guests? This could damage the relationship between my mom and my fiancés family. I feel taken advantage of and am extremely upset, and don’t want my parents to pay for something when his family is treating me like this.

AITA if I tell my mom the nasty stuff my future Sister in-Law said to me about the venue MY parents are paying for?

NTA

10v82lq

I(f18) have been in a bit of an argument with my brother(16). I have a mediocre relationship with my brother, we don't hate each other and get along quite well, but it does get a bit strained at times. He spends most of his time in his room playing video games and doesn't really help me or my mother around the house often unless asked specifically.This has never been an issue in the past, but about 2 weeks ago I noticed a turd floating in the toilet. We have two toilets, but the other is at the other end of the house and I only really use it when I'm on my period, since my brother says "He doesn't want my period on the toilet seat". I flushed it down, not thinking much of it. 3 days later the same thing happened again, a turd floating in the toilet. This time I just politely asked him to flush the toilet properly next time. He told me it mustn't have flushed properly, so I took his word and left the situation alone.4 days later it happened again, this time the water was brown and disgusting, I went to tell him to please flush the toilet properly, a bit more sternly this time. He gave the same excuse again, I insisted and left the situation alone. The next day it happened again, I decided to ask my mother to talk to him about flushing the toilet properly, to which she said that he mustn't have wanted to cause too much noise since it was night.I told her I understood, but I am a heavy sleeper and I also just don't want to have to flush other people's shits down the toilet. She said she would talk to him, but never did.It happened 3 days in a row. I figured enough was enough. I decided to leave a sticky note on the door saying 'Please flush the toilet'. It was almost immediately taken down and obviously flushed down the toilet but my brother. I put one up again to sell the message that I will do it if he keeps on leaving his shit floating in the toilet. He came into my room and yelled at me for leaving sticky notes, to which I said that there wasn't much else I could do. He wasn't listening to me at all and my mother wasn't doing anything. He accused me of treating him like a baby, to which I said that I will continue to treat him like one if he doesn't flush the toilet.My mother told me that I was being condescending and rude to my brother, that I didn't understand. I get that sometimes toilets don't flush properly, but 3 days in a row was ridiculous and I was getting fed up with getting treated by his turds in the toilet and having to flush them down, especially when the water was brown. I don't know though, maybe the notes were condescending. It's been two days since it has happened, but was I overreacting or took it top far? AITA?

AITA for putting up sticky notes in the bathroom for my brother to flush the toilet?

NTA

10v87vt

i (15f) work started working as a lifeguard at an indoor pool in june (it’s currently february). during the time i’ve worked here i’ve noticed that almost every weekend an older man (i’m guessing like in his 80s) comes in and swims. we can call him jones (fake name). there has been multiple times where jones has come up to not only me but many other female lifeguards (most underaged) and he will grab our guard tubes and shake them then walk away. he has also blown us kisses or stares at us in our bathing suits. at first this made me very uncomfortable because i didn’t know he is special needs. i talked to my manger and because he didn’t physically touch me i couldn’t do anything about it. after talking to my mom i found out he is very well known in our town and she informed me that he does have special needs. so i just let me make me uncomfortable for months because there was nothing i could do. until yesterday when jones saw me and waved so i waved back so i wasn’t being rude. he then blew me a kiss and started to come up to me. jones proceeded to grab my toe, place his hand on my knee then walk away laughing. i told my manger and he told me i could make a report so that’s what i did. i don’t want him kicked out i just want him to stop. but after talking to my mom she said i might get him kicked out and if i did i’m the asshole because he didn’t mean anything by it and doesn’t know better so now i’m not sure. aita?

AITA for possibly getting someone with special needs banned from my job?

NTA

10v9ucm

My bestfriend has a brachial plexus injury in her shoulder that affects her entire arm. She can’t move it and it can’t be pulled on. I want her to come with me to a festival this summer and she really wants to go, but is worried about her arm. I told her to wear a bright coloured cast or make a fake one that way everyone just thinks her arm is broken and tries to avoid it. Obviously it’s still a bit riskier for her to be in a mosh pit, but I know that anyone who sees her with a cast will be just a bit more cautious around her. I know atleast I would be.She got mad at me and hasn’t even explained why she is mad. I feel bad because I just wanna have fun together and I’ve seen her disability hold her back from a lot of stuff and I know she does want to go. It’s an annual festival and when I went this year she was so upset that she didn’t, so I wanna make it so she can this year

AITA for telling my bestfriend to wear a fake cast to a concert

YTA

10v8ok1

( sorry for bad English plus I am on mobile) I was born in Canada but grew up in a Middle Eastern third world country ( both of my parents are middle eastern) . My cousin on the other hand was born in Canada and has lived in the same nice suburban neighbourhood ( her dad/ my uncle is middle eastern but her mom is very European) I have noticed that my cousin bases her whole personality on being Middle Eastern even though she doesn’t know how to speak and write Arabic. She also doesn’t really understand much of the culture. An incident happened yesterday, my cousin started putting Arabic in her insta bio. I got a bit pissed off because she doesn’t understand Arabic and the Arabic saying she had on her bio was pretty incorrect ( you can tell she just put it through Google translate) I confronted her about all of this. She said she is just as middle eastern as me. I disagreed and told her that she has never visited, lived, or grew up in the Middle East. She doesn’t know what it’s like being afraid for your life. And that she doesn’t understand witnessing her family members recover from the trauma of war. I also told her that when I came back to Canada from the Middle East, I was literally bullied so much for being middle eastern. I was called a terrorist. I was made fun of for my accent. I told her while she is half middle eastern, she shouldn’t base her whole personality on being middle eastern. I told her that I am the one being held at borders and getting profiled by border agents for being middle eastern. I told her that while it’s fine for her to embrace being half middle eastern- she should stop romanticizing it. She ended up crying and telling her mom about all of this. Her mom basically called me an asshole. AITA?

AITA for gatekeeping my culture?

YTA

10v8n12

BLUF: my mom does anything she can to keep the peace. I’m done with it.. didn’t have enough eggs for all 7 people in my house. So I didn’t make them. My dad was offended. And I apparently was the asshole for not feeding into the people pleasing, enabling behavior So two weeks ago. My parents who live a couple states away flew in to spend the weekend with us. My wife and I have 3 kids. All involved in sports, so it was a busy weekend with my parents getting to be a part of our life, and a part of their grandkids lives. All was going mostly well. My parents spend a lot of times glued to their phones (my oldest said something and my dad was offended).. my parents pushed off some one on one time with my youngest.. and when the youngest shrugged it off and said whatever my parents were offended that he didn’t seem to care. So, like I said… the weekend was going mostly well. Every morning I had a quick easy grab and go meal, because we had to be out of the house early for sports for one of the three kids. The last morning, was a Monday and a day off school. we were all in the house, with nothing going but we only had 1 pack of bacon and 2 eggs left. It was a busy week, and weekend. And my wife and i hadn’t had a chance to get groceries before my parents arrived. So, with less food than normal.. I made the bacon and I made some pancakes. And I found some Canadian bacon to supplement it all. I chose not to make eggs. Because I couldn’t make enough for all 7 of us. My dad tries to grab 3-4 slices of bacon, I ask him to wait and let me serve him, so I can make sure everyone gets some. He huffs.. and takes his pancakes and won’t sit to eat. Stands at the table. I parcel out the bacon and give him another slice. My mom comes into the kitchen and says “I’m going to make me and your dad eggs”I have my hands full, haven’t sat down yet and the stove has pancakes and bacon on it to serve (my kitchen isn’t that big) I look around in frustration with my hands full of plate and coffee with my breakfast.. trying to figure where I’m going to move everything and ask if they can just have some more Canadian bacon (they want protein.. it’s all about protein with them) He dad from the others room says “if eggs are such a big deal, just forget about it..” with an attitude stomps away from the table to go take a shower. My mom said I offended him, “he only eats eggs on days he doesn’t work” and why wouldn’t I just make him the eggs.. I know he likes eggs or let her. Make the eggs. I said “I don’t have enough for everyone. That’s why I didn’t make them”And I told her his reaction was unacceptable and childish. Apparently that was rude of me to say. My sister took their side and said “you know how dad gets, why didn’t you make sure you had enough of everything”AITA for not feeding into the enabling “let’s keep dad happy” behavior and just making the eggs?

AITA for not making my dad eggs

NTA

10vab0t

Three years ago I moved into my current flat and almost since the very beginning I became close friends with my neighbour from the same floor. Mostly because we're the same nationality and it turned out we had some friends in common. Over the years we both helped each other out once in a while whether it was borrowing money, helping with some small repairs, grocery shopping etc. She's a single parent and I always felt kind of bad for her because she works two jobs and it sort of reminded me of my childhood so whenever she needed something I tried to help. When she started working her second job about a year ago she asked me if I could pick her daughter up from school and let her stay at mine till she came home at 8/9pm. Obviously I didn't have an issue with that since I finished work at 2.30 and her school was almost on my way home (she finishes school at 3pm). Her kid is also old enough that I didn't really have to do anything other than heat up some food and she just spends the entire time either playing on my PC or watching TV with me and sometimes my girlfriend. On Friday my neighbour asked me if her daughter could stay overnight at mine because she got asked to do a night shift instead of her usual evening shift to cover for someone. I didn't have any plans for Friday night anyway so I agreed. I told her daughter she could sleep on the sofa because I honestly didn't really feel like giving up my bed. The next morning when she came to pick her daughter up we talked for a few minutes and during the conversation I mentioned that her daughter slept on the sofa and she got mad at me and said I shouldn't have made her sleep there and that I was selfish for not letting her get a proper night sleep. Afterwards I started wondering if I did act selfish or was I justified in not giving up my bed? AITA here?

AITA for making the girl I was babysitting sleep on the sofa?

NTA

10v97vh

My (28M) wife (26F) and I have been married for close to 7 years.We currently have five kids together- 6M, 4M, 3F, and my wife gave birth to fraternal twins ( son and daughter) a year and a half ago.My wife intended to graduate high school the year we got married but life got in the way. My dad had given me an investor relations type of role at his company so we were traveling a lot and then after that our kids needed our attentions. After our twins were born my wife was bedridden for longer than we and even the doctors expected. Since we had to hire extra hands to do the childcare tasks that involved mobility my wife had some time on her hands.Her mother told her that her friend who proctors at a testing center said that they give GED tests basically every week ( at least across the state of Idaho) and that she should dust off her general education knowledge. She started browsing her laptop and decided to enroll in a GED prep class online.It seems she was better at self paced learning than classroom learning because the stuff they were testing her on came way easier to her now than it did then even though she's been away from structured classroom instruction for many years now.Even after she was back on her feet, she'd be studying for it after she dropped the older two off to their respective schools. I would see what she was studying and it looked pretty rudimentary and I knew that getting a GED basically means nothing and that she probably wouldn't be able to apply it to anything career wise, or commit full time to community college, where I doubt the job prospects for students are that great right now either.So my wife ended up taking the test and the other day she bounded into the room and said " Yes! I passed, I passed!"I knew she would since she was doing well on the practice tests and the GED consistently tests on the same rudimentary topics. I did not gripe at her but merely nodded at her and went back to answering an important email from a client.My wife seemed to get upset and I asked her what was wrong. She said I didn't seem that excited and I said that it's great that she passed but I have been telling her that it was easy and no big deal, but if she needed something to prove to herself she knew the high school concepts, I guess the money was well spent.She got even more upset and said she worked very hard and this was the essential building blocks to being able to start a career.AITA? My wife passed her GED test, but she wasn't exactly graduating from college and wouldn't be for at least 15 years. I just didn't see any immediate applicability to her test but I am glad she had something to challenge her while she was coming off being unable to fully care for the kids.

AITA for not acting impressed by my wife's " accomplishment?"

YTA

10v78qr

My older sister (f18) is pregnant, she's seven months in. She lives with us still (my parents and my younger brother) because she's going to be a single mother, her boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant. For that she thinks that we have to help her in everything, suddenly you can't even ask her to wash the dishes because you're an asshole. Yesterday she was feeling bad, she's been feeling like that lately and the doctors said she should rest and the pain will go away. My sister has always been a drama queen so I can't even guarantee that she's feeling that bad or she's actually overreacting. She was lying in the couch in the living room watching TV when she saw me she said "Meg go to the drugstore and buy this medicine (she was handing me a paper and some money) and go to the grocery store to buy some ice cream and onion chips". I told her "no, I have to do something else" because I was heading off to meet my friends. She then again told me to buy her stuff, came back and then go meeting with them. I told "fuck off you can go yourself if you need it that much". She told me she can't because mom took the car, I told her to walk. She then started insulting me but I left without paying attention. When I came back she has already made up a big drama about how I insulted her and refused to buy her medicine to our parents. They grounded me which sucks but what stood out for me was that she said she can have a miscarriage if she doesn't take that medicine which made me feel very guilty. My friends think I was in the right and so does my brother but my parents wouldn't have reacted like that if she was wrong, right?

AITA for telling my pregnant sister that she go to the grocery store herself is she needs something?

NTA

10va10v

My wife and I are in the process of purchasing our first home and one of the places we looked at has a finished apartment in the garage that is separate from the main house. My wife thought this would be great in the future to our parents live with us. This opened up a whole discussion.She immediately ruled out my parents as they are very well off and would never have the need to live with us from a financial prospective. We also spent about 4 weeks with them during COVID and realized we just weren't compatible . I 100% agreed with this sentiment.Then she brought up her dad and step mom. Out of all our parental pairs we get along with her dad and step mom the best. They are good people who do not interject, judge or overstep into our lives. They are helpful when we ask for help (which we rarely do). She mentioned that they could live in the apartment as they are low maintenance and would keep to themselves. I agreed that they would be least intrusive on our lives but would prefer that they not live with us but I didn't shut the door on them.Then came the topic of her mother Sarah. My wife thought her mom living with us could be possible as she isn't married, she wants to spend more time with her grandson (and future grandchildren) and isn't as financially well off as the others. Sarah is a wonderful person who means well but has this frantic nervous energy about her that just wears on me. Her frantic nervous energy stems from severe anxiety that manifests itself by her wanting to please everyone. This might sound wonderful at first but it wears on everyone. Simple examples like her offering a glass of water turns into a game of 20 questions with her offering every beverage in the house to you after you state you are not thirsty. She has been in therapy for years for her anexity. This behaviour was a contributing factor in her divorce from Steve (to give some scale to how excessive it is). My wife also gets very frustrated with her mom but she manifests her annoyance by mirroring this type of behaviour. She will start speaking a mile a min asking me question after question before I have time to respond to the first.All of this lead to say that there is NO WAY Sarah could ever live with us. As it was just put too much stress on our relationship. I was probably firmer (but not mean) then I needed to be on this point but I stand by my opinion. Having her move in with us now or down the road would just be something I will not consider (barring a serious health issue or something of that nature). I even went as far as to say we could help support her financially if it came to it.My wife is upset and called me an asshole for shutting the door on the potential of her mother living with us. We have spoken at lengthen in the past about how spending significant time with Sarah puts a strain on our relationship so I was a bit surprised by her reaction.So ATIA for not allowing her mother to ever live with us?

AITA for not allowing my MIL to live with us

NTA

10v9u4i

I'm a freshman in college and I live in a dorm with a living room, 2 rooms and 2 beds in each room but there's only 3 of us living here. My roommate and my suite mate are much closer than I am which I'm not upset about because they just have way more in common than I do with them and they get along better overall. But there have been several instances where they would bring random people over without asking me or at least letting me know. There was this one time during finals week where they brought people over to drink and party that night, but I had a flight at 9 am the next morning. They stayed until maybe 3 or 4 am and because of that I couldn't get any sleep at all. It was already hard enough that I couldn't shower or get ready for bed because there were so many people outside (not to mention they are all men and I'm a woman). And last Friday I was having a really bad day and for once I decided I just wanted to stay in bed and relax the rest of the night. Suddenly a whole bunch of people come over and are drinking and making a lot of noise. Again, they didn't even ask me if it was okay OR let me know people were coming over. Yesterday I sent them a text saying I'd appreciate it if they would ask me if it's okay to have guests or at least just let me know beforehand. My roommate replied to me and apologized, but my suite mate didn't even acknowledge it. Now things are awkward and tense. AITA?

AITA for telling my roommates (18F and 18F) to ask me (18F) if it's okay to have guests over?

YTA

10v75wo

I have been friends with this girl for a long time, about 10 years, and though she is a great person she doesn't stand up for herself or others for fear of confrontation, which I get but... This made me reach my limit and snap at her.So the story. She lives in another country and in the summer I went over for a visit. We went to a party with her partner and lots of his friends, including his best friend. These guys are in their mid 30s and we're in our late 20s for context.So basically, the best friend of my friend's partner is known in their group to have a drug problem and has erratic behaviour. During this party he had consumed drugs, I was just having some beers. At some point in the night we get talking (normal conversation, I was not flirtatious in any way because I honestly felt repulsed by the guy as he clearly finds himself very attractive and thinks everyone loves him). He out of the blue starts talking about image, and how everyone crafts their image based on what response they want from others, whereas I was disagreeing and saying while some people may do that others can just use their image as self expression/wearing what makes them feel good. He proceeds to say 'you for example, you clearly wore that dress tonight because you're looking for male attention, my eyes would obviously be drawn to your cleavage and you knew what you were doing when you wore that'. For context, I was wearing a long sundress that I had just bought that day with my friend, not the most revealing thing, but sure it had a scooping neckline. I proceeded to tell him off and walked away. My friend had overhead some of it but I told her and her partner the whole story the next day.I was kind of expecting them to have some kind of a response, since I was a visitor and their friend made me feel so disrespected. But nothing really happened. The guy sends me a voice message a week later where he said : 'Im sorry YOU got triggered '.I decided to let the whole thing go but it definitely made me distance myself from my friend. Now this year I will be seeing her at a wedding and bachelorette party and called her about how it made me feel that she never stuck up for me. I didn't want my resentment about it coming out when we meet in person so I thought a call would be good to clear the air.She explained it away by saying they were just so tired of the guy and his antics at the time that they didn't have the energy to deal with it. I said that was not a good excuse and that I hope she'll learn to stand up for people she cares about rather than being an onlooker. She still regularly hangs out with the guy too. It pisses me off and her excuse made it worse.AITA?Edit: I really appreciate all the comments calling me the asshole because I needed another perspective. I think the problem comes down to the fact that I am fiercely loyal to those I care about (maybe too fierce?) And I tend to expect the same in others which isn't fair. Good learning lesson.

AITA for calling out my friend's wimpy response to her pervy friend?

YTA

10v817g

So I (19F) and my bf (19M) have been dating for about 6 months. For some context, we both work together in a restaurant, because of this we see each other almost every day, and my boyfriend is Mexican and I’m white (I’m not sure if that has any relevance or not though). 3 months into our relationship, I started to notice that almost every time there was a table with black people in his section, he’d give it away to another server. I thought it was weird, but for the first couple of times I chalked it up to him just not wanting another table to deal with. Yesterday I finally reached a breaking point when he yet again gave away a table with black people. I started to kind of avoid him and when he asked me what was wrong I flat out told him that he was being racist. He asked me what I was talking about and I explained that every time he has a table with black people he gives it away.He told me that apparently “they’re too needy and ask him for stuff all the time” even though every other table does that too? He got angry with me and told me that if I’ve been thinking this and have such a problem with it, then why am I even with him? I tried explaining that I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt but he wasn’t listening to me. When we were doing our normal end of night cleaning (which usually ends up with us making out a broom closet) he wouldn’t talk to me and was clearly avoiding me. I tried talking to him after I had finished with everything and was about to head home, but he had been drinking and was clearly not in the right headspace to talk about that kind of issue.Now he’s been not responding to my texts or speaking to me at all and I’m worried I ruined our relationship. AITA?

AITA for calling my boyfriend out after he acted racist?

NTA

10v8q9d

[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10ssm7j/aita_for_calling_out_my_brother_for_pretending_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)J and I finally talked about what happened. I apologized because I felt extremely bad and wanted to make it right. I tried apologizing before this, but he always walked away or ignored me (which I understand why). To summarize our conversation, I apologized for embarrassing him and told him that I should’ve done it in private and he said he forgave me. We made a promise that from now on, if one of us is doing something wrong, We’ll pull each other aside instead of embarrassing each other. We made this promise because I noticed people saying I was the AH which it was a messed up thing to do. I kind of secretly hope he does the same to me for revenge because I still feel guilty. Also I saw a commenter on the original post ask if I did it to show off, I absolutely did not, I known his friends for a while and definitely would NEVER embarrass my brother just for cool points but I could understand why you asked that because younger sister embarrasses older brother infront of friends so they’ll like her is sadly quite common but again I’ve known them for a while and would never do that.

UPDATE : AITA for calling out my brother for pretending to be something he's not in front of his friends

NTA

10v8yd0

I'm a medical intern (basically a doctor but I have to wait 2 years to get my license) some background: in my area we delivered babys, help in some surgeries and with all the paperwork and legal documents. The first year residents are the ones who manage the postpartum, post surgery, evolutions and discharged paperwork we only help them with the easy parts once they are done, and some don't like being help with the last two. Also I had just been moved to that chiftSo I did a "guardia" so I had to work overnight and since it was the weekend it was until the start of the next chift and once we finish all the work.It had been around 17 hours and none of us had slept a thing, so we (interns) finished all the available paperwork for us to work with, but we still have some left we were waiting for to be finished so we could do our part. The other two interns with me decided to sleep a bit, after I asked one of them if there was anything else pending and he said no, that it was just waiting for that, so I decided to go help the interns schedule for that day since I wasn't sleepy at that point. Once the paperwork was available for us I started to that and the other interns went to work on something else. I also did some other work and I told a 2nd year resident about it since that was part of their paperwork (The more years and ranking you have, the more power you get) a 3rd year resident also told me it was fine and I could go home, afterwards another 2nd year resident told me I could leave. I've never liked leaving work undone for other people to do so I asked one of the three 1st year residents that are in charged of that and he told me since we were done with the paperwork I could leave so I did.After I got home I took a shower and I grab my phone to see many angry text for one of my co- interns looking for me and asking me how could I leave since they were still stuck with work to do (about an hour since I have left), so I replied and explained all that happened. And both of them replied that I shouldn't have left since I didn't tell them and that the other resident in charged of us still had worked to do and was asking us to help her (I did not asked her since she was in another floor at the time, I didn't know where, some people don't like help with that part, I didn't had her phone number and had already asked one of the other 3 people directly in charged of us), they said that was not how things worked out in that chift that they were finishing all the work and were also tired and wanted to go home but that they knew better and that they had to have that done first, that next time I should also clear it with them before I go (they were also told we could go home before I was and told me that, so I assume they were also going home once the finished their part). They ended up leaving 2-3 hours after I hadSo AITA for not telling my coworkers that I was going home?

AITA for not telling my coworkers I was going home?

NTA

10v8sxs

Some context I (24M) own part of a Watersports business and recently got a job offer that I’m seriously considering taking. I’d call if more of a mom and pop business. This year I’d probably take in around 80k-100k which is great money but the only problem is I work 7 days a week, no holidays off and the only day I really get off are when the weather is horrible which is rarely all day. I recently just had a baby and have had a switch in perspective and now would like to be able to spend more time at home and not have my life revolve around my business. The offer I got is working under and contractor who in the next 3-4 years will teach me the business and help me get my general contracting license so I can start my own business. I’d be taking a pay cut making only about 45k-50k a year but I’d get weekends and holidays off which are important to me because of the baby. I also think even tho I’ll be taking a pay cut the next few years the opportunity I’ll have in the next 5-10 years with a GC license will be better off for my family and I than the business I have now. My partner is my business now is about 50M and relies on me pretty heavily, but to the point that I’m burnt out. I’ve worked for him for about 8 years and he’s been slowly bringing me in on the ownership side. A little too slow in my opinion, instead of making me a 50% partner from the start he’s been cutting me in on little parts of the business instead of just making me a 50% partner and it feels like he’s giving me just enough to keep me around instead of giving me my share. I understand it’s his business but he relies on my pretty heavily to the point where like I said I work every single day 8-9 hours a day and deal with every aspect of the business and instead of hiring new employees to take the load off he expects it out of me and wants to save money instead of hiring people so I can have off days and take time off. We also have different visions on the company’s future. I’d like the expand and take a more modern approach to the business which he likes doing everything pen and paper and is complacent where he’s at. Our season kicks off in a month and I haven’t told him I’m leaving because I’m waiting for the 100% confirmation that I’ll have this new job before I do tell him even tho I’ve been offered this new job. So AITA for only giving him a months heads up that I’m leaving and we’ll have to sell or liquidate our equipment and business account while also have him find employees to replace me? Sorry for the long past thanks for any input!

AITA for giving my business partner only a month heads up that I’m leaving our business

NTA

10va38v

I [17M] don’t care if others vape, it’s not my business. I have friends who vape, I don’t care. But the thing is my little sis has started vaping because, I’m assuming, her friends let her hit. And now she’s doing it at school and skipping clases.Idk if she’s using it as a bad coping mechanism or she’s just doing it to look cool in front of her friends, but I don’t like the thought of my 15 y/o little sister gettin addicted. And my younger cousins [15F & 14F] also vapes. I literally have seen all of them vape when we hang out. I never said anything because it was 3>1 and id feel like they’d all hate me or call me a buzzkill. Just the other day they were vaping in the bathroom and I told them I wouldn’t say anything. Why I think I might be TA is because I think, 1. It’s still not my business and they should face the consequences on their own.2. They have gotten in trouble for this before and my parents say that if they catch my sister one more time doing it then they’re pulling her out of school and making her do online school for the remainder of high school.She already feels isolated and this would probably make her depression worse.And 3. I’m the one my sister relies on, she trusts me and I’m her shoulder to cry on. I feel like If I snitched the trust would be gone and she’s never trust or talk to me ever again.I’ve thought about just telling her to quit it but with her record of constantly lying, I know that would not work.WIBTA?

WIBTA for snitching on my underage relatives for vaping?

NTA

10v9fs8

We met M (the friend) as we moved cities. My mother used to be very close with M's mother when they were younger, so the reunion was heart warming. We got close to the family and would often visit each other, until M's mother passed away due to cancer. That's when my mom started calling M every single day to check up on her, she'd say "she doesn't have a mom anymore, she needs someone to rely on". M was also pregnant with her second child at the time, so I understood why my mom took so much care of her. Now that was 3 years ago.For the past 3 years, while still videocalling her every day, my mom gradually started to worship M and her family, bringing them up in every conversation she has with me, or with people who don't even know them. And when I say she "worships" them, she really does, for my mom, M is the prettiest and most intelligent person ever, she's also a great parent to her kids as she (wait for it) takes care of them (even though she's a housewife and has, really, nothing else to do), and don't get her started and how breathakingly beautiful and smart the kids are and on how amazing people they will become. Imagine talking to your friend and she brigns up this family and how amazing they are every single time?? My mom had been looking for a job for a very long time and, what made me extremely upset, was that after signing the contract, she sent pics of it to M first, and I had to wait for several hours for her to get home and finally show it to me. And she does that for every single thing. Whatever new thing she buys, whatever she has on her chest, whatever happens to her, whatever she cooks, how many times she craps a day, M is always the first person to know about it and it annoys the hell out of me.I am aware that this is jealousy, as my mom never talks about me the way she talks about M or her children to other people, as she does to M's kids what she never did for me then, or now. They often come first. There's a cake me and M both like, but it isn't a cheap one. She rearely ever buys it for me, but she buys it for M when she visits her saying "you'll it some there" and dragging me along.M has done nothing wrong, what upsets me is that my mom worships them as if they were some gods and closes her eyes on every aspect of them that makes them who they are, a normal family, with average looking, average minded kids. I feel like soon enough, these bottled up emotions of envy and sadness will explode, and my relationship with my mom will suffer. I know it will have consenquences as I already show hostility towards her when she mentions them, and she takes it very seriously.So... AITA for getting annoyed when my mom mentions her friend or is my reaction normal?Tl;dr: My mom has a friend she pretty much started to worship over time. She does for her and her kids what she never did for me, and it makes me jealous and hostile. AITA for being the way I am?

AITA for getting annoyed every time my (19F) mom (50F) mentions her friend (31F)?

NTA

10vaylu

So for context my SIL gets married summer 2024, last year while talking at her birthday she asks what I’m doing this September to which I reply I don’t know yet but it’s my 30th that month. Now I hate the idea of being the centre of attention but 30 is a big one right? So anyway she informs me that they have decided they will be having their away hen a stag do’s that month! Fast forward to Christmas and my partner(her brother) confronts her and asks her why she would plan for the same month as my birthday and tells her he’s not happy. They have a bit of a falling out but it never gets brought up again. Fast forward to last week and we get added to Separate group chats for the upcoming celebrations only to find out the stag is the weekend of my ACTUAL BIRTHDAY and the hen has no set date but a 2 week window that includes my birthday. I’m trying to be reasonable but I feel this is intentional and vindictive, they don’t even get married this year and could have picked any other month this year or before may next year. There is also no specific need for it to be that month with work or any other commitments. I haven’t replied on the group chat or spoke to anyone except my partner and a few work colleagues because of n all honesty I’m furious and I’m failing to see any other reason for her to do this except badness. So I ask you Reddit AITA if I take a step back and don’t attend and for thinking she is doing this to fuck with me.

AITA for refusing to go to SIL away hen out of spite

YTA

10vax7a

I am a late 20's male disabled military veteran who currently lives with his brother and his wife and kids. I do not currently pay rent or have a job. However I do pay bills, buy food on the occasion, clean the house every day, do bigger house projects with my brother (like build a new deck during the summer) and watch the kids whenever they need me to. Due to past experiences in the military that I won't get into here I don't leave the house often so I'm basically a built in nanny. I babysit the kids so often that when the kids were younger they often accidentally called me dad and a lot of their friends/bus drivers do think I am their dad as I drop them off at/pick up them up at the bus. They recently had another baby which means they expect me to babysit it all day while they go out and work. My best friend of nearly 15 years offered to let me move into his new house with him once they get settled in. After some initial hesitation I decided to move in with him as I don't really want to babysit their baby everyday for the next 4 years of my life. I haven't told my family yet as I know they are going to freak out about my decision. Which is why I'm writing this post, Am I the Asshole for wanting to move out and not babysit their kid?

AITA For Wanting to Move

NTA

10v9vc1

I (31F) have been in a serious relationship with Mike (30M) for nearly 1.5 years. His best friend Renzo (32M) has been a third-wheel in our relationship since the start. Over the course of our relationship, Renzo has called me a c\*nt and been present on the day of our anniversary -- my friends and I honestly think he might be in love with Mike. This weekend was Renzo's birthday, and we all went out to celebrate. On Sunday, I received news that my Facebook had been hacked and disabled (I am a social media manager), so I was rightfully freaking out about my job. Because of this, Mike and I decided to not go out and complete the weekend of festivities for Renzo's birthday (drinking and watching "Star Wars"). Mike was also feeling tired (he has some health issues that may lead him to need to give up drinking altogether).Renzo flipped out about us not attending, blaming it on me, and then proceeding to find my Twitter going back to when I opened the account in Feb. 2010 and screenshot Tweets he thought were "incriminating" (including one from Jan. 2012 where I asked a friend to find me "a hot lawyer" -- Renzo and Mike are both lawyers). Renzo called me a gold-digger, which I saw and sent a message to our group chat calling him out on his behavior -- first and foremost, going through my Tweets that far and secondly for the gold-digger comment (it is important to note that I come from a very privileged background and I have more in emergency savings than Mike).Renzo called Mike telling him that I never liked Renzo and he never liked me, but if we were to continue to date, it would ruin their friendship. I reached out to Renzo this morning asking if he would like to grab coffee or tea to sort through this for Mike's sake (especially considering the impending health issues) and he told me he wanted nothing to do with me among other choice words.Mike is distraught about all of this, which I understand -- he has known Renzo since they were in middle school and they lived together for two years. FWIW, I never knew Renzo didn't like me nor did I ever have any negative feelings toward him, even with the name-calling and other things.AITA for essentially breaking up this friendship?

AITA for calling out my BF's best friend in front of him?

NTA

10v9sc7

My girlfriend (22f) and I (24m) have been together around 2 years and have lived together just over a year. We've spoke in the past about the importance of having time to ourselves whether to read, watch tv, play video games, go for walks etc. Just anything that we can do on our own to just relax. There is a video game coming out next Friday that I have been excited about for a while so I took a day off work and I am planning to spend the day just relaxing, playing the game and maybe catching up on some tv shows on Netflix.My girlfriend has been talking about going into town for drinks since it's been a while since we've done it. We go on regular dates but it's been a while since we've just gone into town for a couple of drinks. I agreed with her and we started discussing when to go. I suggested this sunday as we are busy on Saturday and since we both have late starts at work on Monday but she said she doesn't want Sunday. I asked about next Saturday night but she said she might be busy with friends. She suggested Friday and I pointed out I have planned to just relax and not do much Friday and just take the day for myself. She said I'll have plenty of time to do that and she's only asking for 2-4 hours. I refused and said she's known about my plans for weeks. I suggested before she meets friends on Saturday but she said she doesn't want to show up drunk.I said we'd just have to wait until the following weekend then and she got annoyed and said she wanted something sooner and she didn't see why I couldn't just take a couple of hours out of my evening on Friday to go and implied I was being unreasonable by not doing it.AITA for refusing to change my plans?

AITA for refusing to change my plans?

NTA

10v9prq

My roommate and I are both 27 year old girls. She has been affected by the tech lay-offs last month, so these days she has been waking up late (around 10am) and spending her days at home sending out resumes. I work 9-5. In our apartment, we share things like paper towels, condiments, coffee, tea, soap, etc etc etc and take turns buying them. Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work and wanted to make coffee, but noticed there was only a little bit left, hardly enough to make coffee. I was irritated as she is the one who is always at home while I work, and I have less time to pay attention to these things. I had to buy myself a coffee from Starbucks on the way to work. When I came home, I politely asked her next time to have the reflex to refill things when they run low, because she had really dampened my morning. She got defensive and said it's not just on her to refill things that we both use, and she had just forgotten. I reminded her that its not the first time she has forgotten to refill something. For example, last week I had to remind her to buy more dishsoap when she was going to the grocery store. She said "so freaking what, I bought it last time" and we kinda snapped at each other. She's still cold towards me. She said its not about the coffee (although she went and bought it last night after our fight), but that I make her feel like I'm patronising her. I pointed out that since she's always at home now, I expect that she understands she has more free time than me and picks up more slack with house chores. She said I'm being unreasonable and that's that. AITA?

AITA for requesting that my roommate buy more coffee when we're out?

YTA

10v9jpt

My best friend and I have lived together for a few years. Recently, she has gotten a boyfriend. We will call her “Laura” and him “Ben”. For some background: They only have sex at our place. Why? Because Ben is cheating on his partner, “Sarah”, with Laura. Laura knows, but Sarah does not. I’m WEIRDLY not bothered by this (except for the fact that I think Laura may potentially get her heart broken). Ben is a great guy and I truly believe this is a one-off for him as far as cheating goes. They just randomly had eyes for each other almost immediately after meeting. Sarah has not treated Ben well and she has cheated on other partners in the past. Anyway, I can hear Laura and Ben going at it regularly. I can hear them if I sit on our balcony because her window is right there. I can hear them in the common areas of the apartment because we have vinyl throughout and it echoes. They keep the door closed, but it isn’t enough. I have to be out in the kitchen if it is in the morning to make coffee and breakfast. I really don’t want to eat my breakfast in my bedroom. Even then, I can hear them in there… with my door closed… if they are “finishing”. The only way I can totally escape the sound is to go in my bathroom and turn the fan on. It isn’t the slapping, or even Ben’s breathing that gets to me. It’s Laura’s moaning. She’s like a sister to me and it makes me VERY uncomfortable. In my past relationship, my ex-boyfriend and I were always super careful to keep the noise down if she was home. I would keep my “vocalizations” to more of a heavier breath and whisper. I consciously didn’t want her to hear me out of embarrassment for myself. Plus, I knew it would be uncomfortable for her. The past few times I’ve heard them, I lightly joked about it to her. She would laugh, cringe, and apologize. The other day, I had had enough. The following evening during dinner, I asked her to please try to keep it down because it makes me uncomfortable. I never once raised my voice, or got mean. I told her sternly, but kept it light and even laughed a little. She got VERY defensive and said “You know how it is in the moment! I don’t even think about it! Go in your bedroom or something!” I don’t believe this. I’ve told her multiple times that I can hear her. There’s no way she doesn’t think about it. I just don’t think she cares. Plus, why should I have to inconvenience myself just for her to have fun? It’s not my fault they can’t keep it down and he’s cheating. Now, she’s been a bit standoffish toward me off and on. She can hold grudges and I feel like she’s going to stay mad at me for a bit. I heard them again this morning and they were LOUDER THAN EVER. I could tell exactly when it was all over because I could hear both of them moaning insanely loud as they “came to fruition”. I feel bad because I want her to have fun. She deserves a good relationship, but it’s too much. AITA?

AITA for telling my roommate/best friend to quiet down during sex?

NTA

10v99ha

It was my husband's birthday last Friday, and me and my sister-in-law were buying snack foods for the party in the supermarket. Potato chips, cakes, beers, wine... and a birthday cake.As we were going round, she decided to open a few packets of Pringles and eat them to see which was good and bad, did some of that with the cakes too, left half-open packets.She opened a large mint candy bar and began eatign some of it, then put it back on the shelf.I worry this has been caught on security camera.Sister-in-law doesn't live in our state, here in California; she flew in from Vermont to see us.I told her there and then this was unacceptable and we argued about it for a few minutes, she apologised; I then said I'd speak to her more about it after the party so as not to ruin it for my husband.AITA for telling my sister-in-law to stop eating food in the supermarket?

AITA for telling sister-in-law to stop eating the potato chips in the supermarket when we were buying supplies for a party?

NTA

10v96yj

I (15m) was at a family reunion at a fancy hotel, and I was hanging out with my sister (17f) and some cousins. I was recently diagnosed with autism, and I've been doing a lot of research into it. My sister kept calling it Aspergers, and I didn't like that. First some context on our dynamic.My sister dominates pretty much every conversation we're in together. Whenever I disagree with her on something, she will get everyone against me until I shut up. I spoke up and told her where the origins of the word Aspergers came from, and she said it's just a word and was all condescending, treating me like an unreasonable stupid brat. I didn't react and asked if she was done, and she kind of just froze. She realized I wasn't backing down like I usually did. So she went to our parents and said I was being rude. I didn't back down, and she got really angry and ran off. My parents made me apologize so we wouldn't argue on the drive home. AITA?

AITA for being direct and assertive with my sister?

NTA

10v8crh

So, for some context: when I was a younger, I would frequently steal food from the fridge/around the house that hadn't been eaten. Usually it was things like candy and snacks, etc. While I don't do it anymore, there WAS a precedent for me doing it in the past. My grandmother knows this.So, last night, she misplaced her bags of 3 Musketeers/Milky Way. And I'm talking BIG bags. She comes storming in my room, demanding to know what I did with them. (I didn't do anything with them). I was trying to sleep, and I was tired of her blaming me every time she misplaced something, so I said "I didn't do anything with them, you stupid bitch"This (obviously) upset her, but it achieved my goal of getting her out of my room. My mother came in not long after, asking me why I called her that, and I explained the same thing I just said: I was tired of her blaming me when she misplaced food. She just sorta shrugged and went back to her room. However, this morning I was looking back and thinking maybe I could've been nicer about it. So I wanted to get and outside opinion.AITA?

AITA for calling my Grandmother a bitch

YTA

10v892v

So a little context, I'm a 20y/o female and my Fiance is a 21y/o male and we live in his mother's house paying $400 a month in order to save up to buy a car and get an apartment. I recently found out while horrible sick that when my fiance and I did long distance that he had cheated on me so I took a couple days off of work to recover physically and mentally. Fast forward about 2 weeks to a couple days ago and I took advantage of the icey roads and called off a third time just to have one relaxing day to myself to get some taxes done and put in a few job applications, and she called my job multiple times to get to my boss and lecture him about how I need more hours to pay her rent. I had already sent my $200 for the month to my fiance at that point. So I got pissed and yelled at her for it and now we have 3 days to leave. And on top of all of this my fiances father calls my dad and tells him I'm not mature enough to be with his son and I need to leave and go back to my dad's. I apologized for yelling at her and she forgives me but we still have to leave. I'm at a loss at this point. If you have any clarifying questions feel free to ask in the comments

AITA for yelling at my Fiance's Mother

NTA

10v84u1

I started a new job last month. The way it works is that senior colleagues assign us tasks in a public Slack channel. Sometimes they’ll vamp with it or try to make the assignment funny, but they always have to @ us on Slack in front of everyone and let us know what we’ll be working on. A typical example: say my name is Cassie: “@Cassie, please take this assignment for 10 am today.”“Paul” is an older guy; I haven’t met him in person. I’m 24F. He has this weird habit of assigning things to women by saying “Miss Lastname, could you work on this?” However, he just adresses my male colleagues by their first name. It’s always “Miss,” even for married women, which is technically incorrect. By our standards, saying “Ms.” for a married woman would be correct, but “Miss” is not. Ironically, we work on a lot of grammatical technicalities, so I know he knows this. I don’t work with him a ton, but the next time I do, would I be an asshole for calling him “Mr.”? I’m new to the team (of about 80 people) but I just am so stuck on how much this annoys me.

WIBTA for calling a colleague “Mr.”?

NTA

10vavyd

So I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about five months now. We met on a dating app seven months ago and made it official shortly after. He moved to my area in Michigan from Nebraska for school and now works up here, but his whole family lives in the south. We hadn’t really talked much about his family, I knew he had a sister around my age, but they haven’t been super close since he moved so he doesn’t mention her much. I didn’t know if there was a story there but he obviously didn’t talk about it so I didn’t particularly care, because I think it’s a little early to be sticking my nose in his business with his family.So anyway, this weekend I stopped over at his place after a particularly bad day at work. I didn’t call ahead because we’ve never had that kind of a relationship before and have never cared if the other drops by unannounced. Well come to find out his parents were visiting (he hadn’t told me) and they were there at his apartment. He invited me in and introduced me as his girlfriend who was just stopping by and not staying long, which I thought was weird, but I get not being ready to introduce me to your parents. Then he gets a call and steps out for a second, his dad asks me basic questions like my name, where I work, etc. So I introduce myself more properly and both his parents get a weird look on their face. Now my name isn’t crazy popular, common enough that I’ve met two or three people with it in my lifetime, but not so common that I can get a key chain with my name at a gift shop. His parents tell me that it’s kinda funny because I have the same name as his sister. Same spelling, everything, and she’s also 22. I finish up the conversation and excuse myself before my bf gets back.Now here’s where I may be the asshole. A couple days later, he asked me why I had been so distant and I said it was nothing, I’m just busy. But he kept pushing it and pushing it so I explained I was confused by what weird Freudian nightmare I was living in by having so much in common with his sister. He said I was being out of line, but I pointed out that if it wasn’t a problem why hadn’t he said anything in the past seven months? I feel bad, and I frankly don’t know if it actually is weird. I personally wouldn’t date someone with the same name as my immediate family, but maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill here?

AITA for being weirded out by my boyfriend?

YTA

10vavpn

Long story short, I've been helping my aunt take care of my dad and stepmother. I've been doing so for a month now and I am fixing to go home. My aunt wants to thank me by giving me some gifts. Now I wouldn't have known about this if it wasn't for my stepmother. My stepmother told me that my aunt was going to surprise me with something. She didn't tell me what it was, but she did tell me not to tell my aunt as my aunt wanted it to be a complete surprise. I'm thinking, why imform me that there was going to be a surprise in the first place then? Over the week, my stepmother, slowly and "discreetly," revealed what the surprise was going to be by asking me gift ideas. That was two days ago. Today, she completely revealed what the surprise gifts were going to be. And she made sure to tell me once more that I can't tell my aunt that I know, and that when I get the surprise, I should act shocked....WHY TELL ME?I'm not upset that I know what the surprise was going to be. I don't really care, in fact. I'm more upset that my stepmother went against my aunts wishes. My aunt wanted it to be a surprise, and my stepmother ruined that for her. My reaction will no longer be genuine, and I feel guilty for having to pretend that I'm surprised. I just hate that my aunt is going through the trouble of being discreet for nothing. I just wish I knew why people feel the need to ruin surprises for others...Anyway, I'm planning on telling everyone even though it will put my stepmother on the spot. I just don't think it's right, and I want my stepmother to know that. I hate to have to pretend to be surprised. I know it may be wrong considering that she will be embarrassed and that everyone is likely to be mad at her. It may also be going too far, I don't know. In just upset that she told me. Why did she tell me?

WIBTA if I put my stepmother on the spot for knowingly ruining my surprise?

ESH

10vatlf

I will try to keep this succinct.We lost a family member recently that was very close to my sibling and myself.My sibling (let’s call them Eggwhite) wanted to commerate this family member by getting a tattoo of the family members handwriting and I said that was an awesome idea and I also wanted to do something like that. I am pretty inattentive when it comes to not losing things had often lamented that I had lost many of the mementos I had of my family member to my chagrin so this seemed like a nice way to more permanently keep her memory alive. When I first suggested I wanted to also get a similar tattoo, egg white seemed supportive. Fast forward a couple of months and I am actively looking for tattoo parlors to get this underway and am excited when it appears like I’ve found a good option. However, when I bring this up to egg white, they look visibly upset, so I ask, “are you mad?” And they say “I’m not mad” then pauses and says “but why would you steal my idea instead of coming up with your own” to which I respond, “ok so you clearly have feelings about this” and they say “I don’t have feelings, you can get a tattoo of whatever you want” in a passive aggressive tone. We kind of left it thereI understand where they are coming from because the idea was personal, but that’s why I liked it also, it was the most direct and simple way to pay homage to my deceased family member I could think of. I really wish both of our wants could coexist, and having matching tattoos could also be cute IMO. So, AITA?

AITA for copying my sibling’s tattoo idea

YTA

10v7hm2

For clarification, I did not ask her yet, because I'm unsure if I should or not, so this is more of a "would I be the asshole". Me ( M 24) and my Gf(F 23) moved in together recently and it's going great. I own a car and she currently doesn't and also has no intent of getting one at the moment. Before we moved in together, I used to take my car to work. But now that we moved in together, she takes it to drive to work, because her work is a daily drive of 150 km away (so 300 km a day back and forth, about 185 Miles daily). And I can drive to work by bicycle which only takes me about 15 minutes and it's pretty easy to get there because of bike lanes in Europe. She obviously agreed to pay for the Gas. The question is, would it be fair to also ask her for money for the "wear" on the car she produces? Until we move away or she has a different job, she will have put at least 30. 000 to 40. 000 KM of wear on the car. When I decide to sell the car, that will definitely decrease the value of my car by a not so insignificant amount. So would it be fair to ask her for a compensation of that potential cost? I just feel like it would be a super greedy thing to ask, and although this text may sound like it, I'm usually the opposite of a greedy person. Tldr: Should I ask my GF to give me money for the Big amount of wear she puts on my car, after she already pays for the Gas? (PS: I didn't post this in "R/Relationship advice because they kept removing it because I was asking for a" yes or no", which is kind of stupid in a forum that is meant to give advice 😂)

AITA for asking my GF to compensate me for amount of wear she puts on my car?

NTA

10va8ip

So this is kinda stupid and I'm sure I'm TA but I wanna ask anyway and get it off my mind. I'm a 19 almost 20FTM. I graduated hs last year and have been working almost full time at burger king since August before that I worked at Kroger. I work 4 days a week from 9-3 I get off at 3 since I need to pick my baby brother up from the bus and babysit him till my stepdad gets home from work. I also usually put him on the bus on weekdays in the morning around 7-7:30. I get 3 days off of work a week which I know is really lucky and a good deal I never asked them for that it's just the way they decided the schedule I guess. On my days off I usually go to the park about a mile from my house and just run/hang out there all day till I need to get home around 5 on weekends and 3 on weekdays when I need to get my brother. My mom fucking hates this she's worried about my safety, that it's dangerous, it's immature and just she really dosent like it. Every time I go out she says something and pretty much begs me to stay home I always just say I'm fine tho and I'll be careful. I pack my little mini-backpack with 2 water bottles, my charger, charging brick, wallet, cash in emergencies everything even brought a tazer with me for awhile to make her feel better. Today tho she got home a little early from work before I left and again started her spiel but today she put her foot down and said I can only be gone for 2 hours and I need to be home and clean the house and that's what real adults do not just stay gone all day running/just fucking off. For some reason it just really pissed me off like she's said similar stuff before but today it just struck a nerve. I didn't snap or start a fight or anything with her cuz I know it's not a big deal but idk. It's not even about me having to clean the house I'll do it no problem when they asks I'm the only one of us 4 kids that will in fact and she knows this. It's just idk she could've just said hey before you leave can you clean the house or when you get back so it's clean before I wake up today. Just I know I'm probably in the wrong and overreacting to it especially cuz it's not like I pay bills or work a good full time job like she and my stepdad do it's just idk it feels like she dosent respect me.

AITA for staying gone all day and disappearing from home on my days off?

NTA

10v9vqz

Preface: We booked flights to travel to my home tome which is about 16 hours flying. Cost per ticket $650. The relationship became verbally abusive and I decided to move out and leave, he kept calling me an idiot among other things that weren't going to work for me, although I suppose that's irrelevant. We dated about 1 year. During separation I initially agreed to cover 50% of his flight loss since the tickets were non-refundable(could only get the taxes back). Although, he could have used the full cost of the ticket to re-book anywhere else another time, he wanted the refund. He got a voucher code to rebook elsewhere anyway, but reached out to me after 2 weeks wanting to work on things and go to therapy. I thought it's best to try, he ended up re-booking the tickets. Things didn't end up working and now he's put in the refund for taxes to the airline and asked me to send him the full 50% loss. I had been thinking about this for a while and am now struggling to wrap my head around why I actually have to cover half the loss for him. I feel no way responsible to owe him anything for a risk he chose to take. Leaving and moving already cost me a great amount of money and concerns since I already moved back to this country for him. We split everything when I left, I didn't even factor in some of the home goods such as oil left in heating tank etc. He still has $425 (my half)of the rental deposit which I was supposed to get back at the end of the lease, whenever he moves out. It cost me around $1700-1900 to move back to this country but you don't see me asking for 50% of that back. AITA?

AITA for not refunding half of my ex's flight cost for a trip we booked when we were together?

NTA

10v6ize

I'm 19M and I'm currently running a bi-weekly D&D game on Roll20. One of the players had talked it out with me that he'd have a magic item from his past that would allow him to shape change into a human-bear hybrid that worked on a charge system. After the session where it activated, I had started prepping for the next session and while I had been looking through his sheet, I found that he had not changed his stats back to show that he had transformed back into a human. I messaged him about this, and I guess I didn't word it that well because he said he didn't understand twice. After a couple of hours of thinking I came up with the simplest explanation I could think of, that the benefit s of the ring weren't passive and would only active when he was transformed. After I sent there was silence for a couple more hours and I just went to bed because it had gotten late. When I woke up, I was met by a paragraph of text in Discord PM's where he what I could best describe as a hissy fit over how "weak" the ring was and how ineffective as a barbarian he already was, and he had been hoping the ring would make up for that. I responded asking if he wanted the ring to do half the work for his character and if he wanted a power fantasy, not a cooperative game where every member of the party has a role to play. He hasn't responded. So Reddit, Am I The Asshole?

AITA for not making the stats of a D&D item passive?

NTA

10vbd4c

To start boyfriend is a really sweet guy, I don’t think he meant to be an asshole here but it’s coming across as inconsiderate.He’s recently been worried about his spending and wants to save more money so suggested we do something cheaper for valentines. I offered to pay to go somewhere nicer but he refused. He suggested some chain restaurants. Eventually we compromised on a mid-scale place and are splitting the bill. Now I was already a little upset about this. I don’t care about going somewhere super nice, but he had planned a couple trips recently and suddenly wanting to be frugal for Valentines hurt my feelings. Now a week later, he’s telling me he wants to go on a trip for his birthday in a few months and is sending me Airbnbs. When I confronted him about his recent desire to save money, he told me it’s in a few months so it’s different. I told him it’s hurtful that he’s prepare so far in advance to have a nice trip for his birthday but doesn’t do the same for a holiday that celebrates our relationship.AITA?

AITA for telling my boyfriend I want to do something nice for Valentines?

NTA

10vbcxl

American in Cape Town here. Been here 6 years, moved from South Shore, Chicago, IL.My co-worker Jane (not her real name) constantly keeps talking about things like vagina and vaginal health issues, conspiracy theories about Putin and Ramaphosa being secret lovers or the U.S. Government spying on all Californians, or claiming that non-binary people are a classification invented by the U.S. Government to detect terrorists.I work in a small fashion start-up, it's just the boss (who's created owned it since 2017 and hired me based on my previous fashion experience), and a HR department of three people. It has one standalone boutique store in Cape Town, separate from our offices.I told Jane her conversation was inappropriate and that I wouldn't discuss these issues any more. She's 51, I'm 32, if that's relevant here.I said to Jane that her behavior is inappropriate and making co-workers feel sick and unhappy, and said I'd have no choice but to report her to the boss, not as a telltale, but out of genuine concern for others.AITA for telling my co-worker her behavior is so inappropriate it's gross?

AITA for telling co-worker that what she's discussing is inappropriate at best?

NTA

10vbcik

Long story short:I am a 4th year med student who is graduating in May. Since 1st year, I've wanted to go on a short 10-14 day Europe trip. I was going to go in 2020, but the obvious stopped me. So I've been putting together my itinerary ever since, in anticipation of going on the trip this June, before I start residency.My GF and I have dating for a little over a year, and I invited her along about 6 months ago or so. She is currently finishing undergrad classes, and has to take summer classes. She found out today that her classes will likely conflict with her coming on the Europe trip, and is now telling me how she hopes I don't go without her, and how sad she'll be if I go. I'm trying to stand firm and keep the promise I made to myself to go, but I am RATTLED with guilt rn. I have made it clear since inviting her that I hope she can come, even for a little bit, but I understand if classes conflict. I have been trying to make it obvious that I plan to go, and would love it IF she can join. But I feel like it's turned into "our" trip, even though she hasn't contributed to any planning. WIBTA if I went without her?

WIBTA if I went on a (planned for 3 years) Europe trip without my GF of 1 year?

NTA

10vbbwq

I (28NB) work as a bartender, and for the most part I really like it! I've been "out" as non-binary since 2015, and it's been fine. Sometimes strangers can be kind of rude, but all of my friends know me and use my pronouns and it's fine. As a general rule, I don't correct people when they misgender me. I had an incident once in the past where the person I corrected ended up bullying me to the point where I had to quit my job. Plus, I'm pushing 30, and I really just don't care anymore. The people in my life know who I am, and that's all that matters to me. Recently I was bartending and a patron called me "ma'am." She wasn't being hateful, she just had never met me before and was presumably trying to be polite. After she tabbed out and left, one of my regulars, a transwoman, asked why I didn't correct her. I just kind of shrugged and said it wasn't worth it to me to make a fleeting interaction uncomfortable for both of us. This didn't go over well, and we ended up getting into a pretty heated debate. At first, Regular thought that I was saying *no one* should correct strangers about pronouns. After I explained that that wasn't what I think at all, she said that my silence makes me complicit, and normalizes misgendering trans people. On the one hand, I do see where she's coming from - it's much harder for most transwomen to exist without being harassed than it is for me to just be androgynous. Maybe I should be more vocal for solidarity purposes. But on the other hand, I work for tips, and I can't afford to make people mad, let alone the exhaustion of correcting 50+ people a day that I'll probably never see again. AITA for keeping quiet?

AITA for not correcting people about my pronouns?

NTA

10vb9zw

So about 2 1/2 months ago me (f15) and my dad fought about me not being social, and it all happened because I refuse a hug? He started going on a rant and saying how I don’t socialize with others. At the end he said he’ll take me to the psychologist, I didn’t believe him cause he always forgets things so I said sure. Then yesterday my mom came up and said I have an appointment on wednesday with a psychologist. I wouldn’t say i’m scared just a bit nervous. Am I really arguing over something dumb or not?

AITA for thinking it’s unnecessary for me to have “social help?”

NTA

10vb8tf

So I have a close friend of mine (as I told him I was gay which I told very few people about) and recently he was saying how he is so trustworthy to me when I was hesitant to tell him about an advancement in my romantic life and i brought up the fact the a year ago he said to a group of our friends that I was gay (right in front of me!) and how was that trustworthy.He then said it was late at night and a long time ago and how I should get over it.I was really annoyed but it go me thinking about if I was being unreasonable holding something like that against him after all this time.

AITA for not getting ‘’over it’’ when my friend outed me as gay?

NTA

10vb7eg

I was making a dessert with a mango flavour which required mangos. I made a ganache with 2/3 of the mangos in a tin and the remainder I was using as a purée for the centre. I left the remainder Tinned mangos in the fridge to continue on the dessert the lecture day, since it was late at night when I started the dessert which needed to set in the fridge overnight. My mom knew I was in the kitchen making the dessert that night, the tin was bought and opened yesterday so was not turning bad. When I woke up to discover the mango tins gone, I asked if she moved the remainder mangos. She said she gave them to my brother. Obviously, in the moment I was angry because I had the perfect amount to make the purée the next day and that was the only tin I had. I told my brother that I was annoyed at mom for giving him the mangos, he told me he didn’t even eat the mangos. Then I overheard her tell the rest of the family that they were mushy and needed to be thrown out so that’s what she did. Hearing this made me become even angrier because they’re obviously going to be a bit softer then normal since they come in syrup from the tin and she’s telling the rest of the family how it’s my fault that I left them in the fridge. Like where was I meant to keep them? In my room? What I’m annoyed about the most is she does this all the time. She doesn’t ask when she takes my things, so when I need them they’re gone. So am I being dramatic?

AITA for asking my mom why she took my mangos

YTA

10vb6er

I use my fiancé’s card to cover all of my expenses as I stopped working after I had our baby/we got engaged. He’s never cared about what I’ve spent money on in the past and always reminds me that I can buy whatever I want so I didn’t think it would be an issue for me to buy my aunt a designer bag to celebrate her 50th birthday but it is.He’s upset because I bought the bag for my aunt but he thinks I try not to use his money on myself which is sort of true. The bag is the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought with his money and it’s something I’ve wanted to do for her for a long time and that I was saving for before I stopped working. The way he said I was quick to use his money on other people really upset me so I told him I would send it back but he told me not too because that wasn’t his point.I’ve been angry at him for the last few days and we keep arguing which hasn’t been fun. During one argument I told him I would use all of his money and then he would have a real reason to complain but he keeps saying I’m intentionally misunderstanding him.AITA?

AITA for using my fiancé’s card to buy my aunt a designer bag for her birthday?

YTA

10vb4yh

I have a band and we were making a love song but I was the only one in a happy relationship so they asked me about my bf, why I like him, how he confessed, etc. But when I told my boyfriend about it he got kinda mad because it was embarrassing for him. I kind of freaked out since I had no idea and I hate the idea of making someone I love upset and was about to cry. I asked a band member about it and he said that since the song was about my bf it shouldn't have been a problem. I told my bf that it was a song referenced off of him and he said that he hoped he wouldn't cringe. I don't know how to feel about it because my other band members said that they would be so happy if their SO's wrote them a song. Also one of the band members is my bf's friend so that's probably why he is so embarrassed. But from what I can tell my bf's friend is completely nonchalant about it and only thinking about it from the business point of view. I won't repeat this mistake again of course. Is there any way I can make it up to my boyfriend?P.S: Yes I've tried apologising but I don't think he is calm enough to accept it yet.

AITA for telling my band members about how my boyfriend and I'd cringey confession?

INFO

10vawaa

Me and My partner (lets call him Tim) have been together for a few months now. I met him in my college and we just connected, for some relevant context we are in a friend group and everyone is friends with everyone, Tim is rude and the group will tell you that themselves(this is also relevant) Back to the story so me, tim and David (all fake names) were all together in my room. Me and David were trying to study hard for an important assignment for college. Tim was blaring his music out really loud and i asked him politely “please turn that down we are trying to study or at least put your headphones in”. Tim completely ignored me and then David decided to turn his music down. Tim got angry and turned it up again. I then told david “i really dont like that song its just annoying”, david agreed with me and tim heard me and told me to stop being disrespectful to him and that he never tells me to turn my music off (i do not listen to music when i am around him, if i do i have headphones in). Tim then told me never to speak to him again and he stormed out the house. David said he was just being a big b!tch and i said i wouldn’t talk to him until he speaks to me. Yes i am being petty i am well aware of that but this isn’t the first time he has told me to never speak to him. Am i the a-hole? If you want more info i will reply to all comments

AITA for doing what i was told by my partner?

NTA

10vanf8

**Disclaimer:**I'm not a native English speaker. I used Grammarly to write this post, and it showed tonnes of errors. I didn't know how to fix them. So, if you find anything in the story that (grammatically) makes no sense, I apologise in advance.**Story:**For context, I made [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/u7fm83/my_dad_demands_my_salary/) post in another subreddit a few months ago. To make the story short, my dad has always been abusive towards me. It slowly changed when I got a job and started demanding a part of my salary (thinking he deserved it since he raised me).A lot has happened since then. I got diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I was prescribed meds, some of which are highly narcotic. So, when I take them, I either get super sleepy or grumpy. So, to avoid problems, I would sleep for a few hours after taking the meds. This way, I can avoid interacting with others while I'm under (if I worded it right).Now, let's jump to the present. My birthday was a month ago. So, I felt like visiting my family and having a good time as I thought we could put our differences away and spend some time together as a "family." I thought that my family would've moved forward since my last visit. I didn't expect them to welcome me with open hands but that they would adjust their inner thought for just a few days.God, was I wrong! Firstly the whole house was a mess. I had to clean and cook something fresh (every food item was rotten). Most irritatingly, every single adult in the family avoided me. When I play with the kids - which I love doing - they would be given obnoxious jobs. At one point, I just went out to take some time for myself. I had to buy my own birthday cake and gift(s) - which isn't new at this point.After I tried to blend in with a few of them, one of my cousins (who's in high school right now) told me that my dad explicitly told everyone not to entertain me in any way. That enraged me.I crashed into the room where my dad was and called him useless. He got angry and yelled at me, saying stuff like, *"What haven't I done for you?", "You owe me everything that's yours!"* etc. (which made me laugh, not sad). After I didn't comply, he told me to get out of his house. I smirked and told him I would be moving out anyway (since I have my own place now), even if he didn't tell me that. I reminded him that He doesn't know how anything works. He doesn't even know where to throw away the garbage (it's 50m from the main door, FYI). Also, he's too slow even if he did know how everything works. He might've been good in his prime days 60-70 years ago, but now he can walk at a speed of 0.2 m/s.This time, I decided never to head back until they call me to come back themselves. So, AITA for doing this?

AITA for calling my dad useless?

NTA

10vai1g

My life was hell in high school, constantly bullied, money stolen from me and I was even beaten up once or twice. My family never ONCE got involved and tried to stop it (the school didn’t neither but teachers never really help anyway). It still affects me to this day. My psychiatrist said my feelings are valid. What do you think?

AITA for still being angry because my family done nothing to stop my bullying that happened 16 years ago

INFO

10v9eah

Backstory: ive posted about this guy before, you can read my post history, I can’t describe him in 3000 characters. Autistic roommate, 5 people total, in Jan 23' 2 people left and subletted. 3/6 people who have lived with him find him unbearable. NEVER cleans up after his cat; doesnt do dishes in a week, leaves laundry wet and dry for 12 hours each, and leaves the fire hazard of a laundry filter. He also gets a discount on rent to do our whole buildings’ trash but he’s taken a month break from that… basically, he forgets things on a weekly basis, its been 4 months.Over the past month, ive ignored him when he tries to barge into convos, nearly yelled at him, and followed through on the nice and serious talk too (done it before but this time was SERIOUS). About a week ago i thanked him for making progress in cleaning, and then said as long as he promises to be considerate and clean, i wont care about his cat on the couch either. He then seemed really happy to cooperate and thankful for the leniency, even ordered a lint roller to clean after the cat…​Problem: the exact day i talk to him, he again left the house for a FULL WEEK, as mentioned in previous posts, his door is open 24/7, it smells like cat shit cuz he cleans litter once a month, and we have to somehow care for the cat. He also left dishes in the sink. After coming back, he instantly brings up how he forgot the lint roller at home (he had already forgot to order it for 2 weeks, and he’s also mentioned a vacuum for a month but i guess thats forgotten too) He also did a load of Laundry the day he came back, which sat for a total of 16ish hours, and the dryer filter was again not cleaned after. In the 24 hours after he came back, he also somehow managed to stack 3 full cups of liquid on the kitchen counter, barely drank from.​He is improving, but at a snails pace: Bought a lint roller to clean? Forgot it at home; Thanked him for dish washing progress? Immediately forgets for a week; only took 16 hours to do laundry this time? Still too long, and still didnt clean the filter; Promised to clean after his cat? Abandons her to us for a week, the day he promised to clean after herSince ive talked to him nicely, aggressively, seriously, and most importantly: MANY TIMES. Ive basically made up my mind to email the landlord about eviction. AITA for doing this? Yall can see he is making progress, but to me, his progress is not even getting him to the bare minimum, regardless of autism or not. Because although he may be making this tiny progress in cleaning, he is still just as loud and inconsiderate about noise, and im just tired of talking to this guy, its been 4 months of reminding from my POV. I am not his caretaker I am a studentAm I starting to become “that roommate”? I know that people did agree with me when he was giving me attitude, but now that he is kind of making progress, AITA?

AITA for trying to kick out my autistic roommate who's improving his behaviour?

NTA

10v8r3p

On vacation in England now. Well, London actually. We've come over to meet my friend, Jane, who's in her 30s (Fake name used) who I met online during the pandemic.Me and my husband went to a restaurant in London yesterday, and it turned into a shitshow. We're a couple in our 40s.Husband kept telling the young waiter how foxy and sexy he was and asking him for his phone number, and I nearly facepalmed.He then was asking the waiter if he'd come to meet him in our hotel room and said that it was worth it for him, and he didn't give a hoot about what else he had to do. He also gave the waiter OUR PHONE NUMBER and told him to come and meet us back in Bethesda and to bring us some of the cakes from the restaurant if he could get some.Later that day, I told my husband he was a jerk and embarrassed me in there. I said to him I wouldn't invite him to meet my friend if he kept up this behavior.We're also here to meet some fellow Americans living in London too, I've got two friends from Bethesda living here who I used to know from my days working in a pizza restaurant there.He's not normally like this and before now, hasn't shown any behaviors which make me think he's gay.But he was like a dog on heat, it was fucking weird. Not to mention some kid with a cameraphone recording the whole thing, I hope to god it's not on here or TikTok.AITA for telling my husband straight out, after the waiter served our expensive meals, that he behaved like a jerk and embarrassed us?

AITA for telling my husband he was a jerk for the way he kept treating the waiter?

NTA

10v9vrx

Backstory, my fiancée and I have been together for about 4 years. She has two kids (12f, 15f) with shared custody. It’s an odd arrangement, she has them Jan-June. Early September, she moved into our house. My daughter ‘Charlie’ is 10. For the record, up until recently she has been an amazing mother figure to Charlie. Our first issue was back in November as we discussed bedroom arrangements. She felt her eldest should have a room of her own while living here 6 months out of the year. That would cause Charlie to bunk with her youngest. I however did not allow it because that would encroach Charlie and likely cause her to feel alienated in her own home. Last weekend I was called in and worked a 12hr shift. When I arrived home, Charlie was upset because they went out to eat and left her home. She said when they came back, she was handed a bag of takeout and the food was stone cold. I asked my fiancée to elaborate, to which she confirmed taking only her girls out to an early dinner then took them to play mini golf. Hence why the food was cold, it sat in the car as they played. She kept deflecting to the food, saying she didn’t expect her to eat it cold, she could have warned it up herself. I kept insisting it was extremely rude to exclude Charlie from the outing. She came back with…”But I brought her food home.” She then asked, “Why is it ok for you to go out with just Charlie?” That’s different, in the last 30 days her kids have been here, Charlie and I have only gone grocery shopping or on one occasion took her cat to the vet. That can’t even be compared to what she did.We didn’t come to any sort of an agreement. Friday she was taking her girls to the dentist. On the way out she made the snarky comment, “I hope this doesn’t offend Charlie too.” It pissed me off she said that, I called her feral. We both later apologized, but she then started the argument back up. She said it was so rude of me to argue about her taking her kids out. She further said, “I don’t see my kids for 6 months, excuse the hell out of me for wanting to spend time alone with them.” I understood her point, but I felt like we could periodically plan separate outings on the same day so no one feels excluded. She kinda threw the bedroom ordeal in my face and said, “My kids might feel alienated from their own mother if they can’t enjoy time alone with me.” She made the pointless remark that her kids have no problem with her doing things with Charlie while they’re living with their father. She further argued that there will be many times when Charlie will be excluded because of the age gap between her and the eldest. I told her if she expects things to workout, she would need to treat Charlie as one of her daughters. She said I was entirely missing her point because I don’t know what it’s like having shared custody. Me scolding her for spending time with them as she said was a ‘bitch-ass’ move.

AITA for arguing with my fiancée after she left my child at home and took only her kids on an outing?

NTA

10vccne

Three years ago my wife and kids wore me down and I agreed to let them get a dog. I am not a dog person. They seem like very fine people but they are just not for me. The deal was that I wouldn't have to walk it or clean up after it and that they would take care of it. It went fine for about a year and a half. But once the damn thing was out of its puppy phase they lost most interest. So for about two years now I have been walking it because it needs exercise. I have to buy it food because my wife forgets. I have to walk around the back yard before I mow to make sure I'm not going to run over it's turds. I'm done. I came home yesterday and it had chewed up a pair of my shoes. I waited until dinner and then I laid down the law. Thay poor thing is going stir crazy. It is used to getting their attention and stuff all the time because of COVID. Now that they can do other stuff they are ignoring it. It isn't fair to the dog and it isn't fair to me. I said that if they didn't have time to walk it they could play with it in the back yard. But that if I found any turds back there that I was hiring a service to keep the yard clean but the money was coming out of their allowances or the house budget. I said I wasn't buying any more food. If there was no food and the dog wasn't fed I would be hiring someone to watch the dog and once again they would be paying for it. They got upset with me because the dog likes me and it's obviously my dog. Of course the thing likes me, I take care of it, which I don't want to do. So I brought out our agreement which I made them all sign. Not my responsibility. I said they had three choices. Take care of the dog, rehome the dog, or pay someone else to take care of the dog. They all think I'm being too harsh but I don't think so. I didn't want it on the first place. I've already checked with a friend of mine. She likes dogs and has agreed to take it if my family cannot follow through. My wife says that I'm being an asshole with this ultimatum. I think it's fair. AITA?

AITA for telling my wife and kids to either take care of their dog or rehome it.

NTA

10vc179

I (37f) have 6 kids (15f, 13m, 11m, 9f and 6f, 2m) with my husband (37m). Recently, one of my sisters (31f) asked to temporarily move in with us because of repairs being done to her home, which is not up to code. She has a husband (31m) and a son (10m). My nephew is not a good kid, he’s a bully and frequently misbehaves. However, I decided to let her family stay anyways.Our 13 y/o is autistic, he’s a very bright boy and actually quite popular, but he still struggles with sensory issues, social interactions, ect. As I mentioned, he’s still popular and social, mainly because he’s an athlete. Our son plays baseball and lacrosse and is friends with the popular group of athlete boys in his school. These boys do everything together, they hang out pretty much every day until bedtime, they help each other with homework, play video games, ect. It’s really sweet how close they are. The boys helped manage my son’s successful run for school president and are always each other’s biggest supporters. Our son is closer to these boys then he is to family, our son doesn’t like hugs, except for these boys, he tells them secrets he doesn’t tell family. My nephew seems to have an issue with this, and has pushed my son’s boundaries since arriving.Yesterday, I was dropping of my son at one of his friend’s houses. The boy he is friends with collects all sorts of stuff, including fragile busts of athletes. My sister and her son decided to tag along with us while dropping him off. It turns out that my nephew is in the same class as this boy’s sister. Judging from the stories I’ve heard, my son’s friend’s sister is also a little terror. My son went with his friend, my nephew with his friend, while we sat in the car talking to the mom of the boy and girl. While we were sitting, the boys come rushing out to tell us that while they had left the room to go in kitchen, my nephew went in the boy’s room and was touching with stuff, he ended up breaking 2 busts. Thankfully, with the boys help, we found replacements online and bough them. The total cost came to around $500, which their parents could afford, but so could my sister. My sister said she didn’t want to pay for them because she didn’t want to make her son feel bad for making his mom have to pay for this. The other mom went in the house, while we argued in the car. I told her that if she didn’t pay back, she’d have to find someone else to stay with, so she ended up forking over the money. She told her son about it and he said we were being unfair and this wouldn’t have happened if my son and his friends just “did what I say”. My sister is still upset at me and some of our siblings have chimed in to take her side, saying I was being too punitive on her son. AITA?

AITA for making my sister pay back for damages her son caused?

NTA

10vf2xc

I (15F) live with my dad and brother (13M).My dad gives us no allowance and just has us asks us to tell him when we need something. When my dad taught me how to handle my period we lived in a different country and he gave me a reusable pad, which is just some cloth and told me to wash them when they got dirty. He never got me pads or tampons and said that this was better.Some years back we moved to the UK and here my school has pads and tampons in the loo. Recently I decided to start taking some of them and taking extra to take home. I do not mind the reusable one my dad gave me but I find them less convenient as I have to wash them and they do not fit as well which has led to a few embarrassing incidents at school. Luckily though none of my classmates were ever mean about it.My dad recently found the used tampons in the bin and he got angry with me then found the extra tampons and pads I stole from school in my room. He forbade me from taking them again and threw them out. I got upset since I am the one who does most of the chores like emptying the bins so he should not have seen it.I do not understand, my teachers specifically said we could take extra if we needed so I do not think it is stealing. In my other country I know girls use both cloth and pads and tampons but here in the UK everyone uses the disposable products. My dad also makes me eat after my brother and him when I am on my period even when I do the cooking and it bothers me as the other girls at school do not have to do this. He says this is respect for our culture and nothing about germs.Edit: I cannot do anything that will get my dad or family in trouble. We are not citizens here and I do not want issues for our visas. I want to leave home when I go to university and I am waiting for us to get indefinite leave to remain status. My dad expects to find a boy for me to marry from a nice family but I know he cannot force me to do that here, so I pretend like I will do that until I am an adult.

AITA for "stealing" tampons and pads from school.

NTA

10vclx4

My (32F) husband (33M) and I have been together for 11 years, married for nine and have two children, 3 and 1. Things have been complicated with his mom and sister since we got married and there have been several periods of no contact. In the last year, we have been working on things with his mom and it’s going fine. Since our 3 yr old was born, we have only seen his sister twice and we keep our distance; despite living in the same town and working in the same industry, our paths don’t cross, thankfully. About 4 years ago his sister and I were hanging out and things got a little heated and we were yelling at each other, in that moment, unbeknownst to me, she started recording the conversation. As soon as I realized it, she walked to show my husband and my husband and I left. I had a lawyer send a request to delete the video which she refused to do. My husband and I never spoke to her again and don’t miss it. This weekend we ran into her at a family event and she privately cornered just me and was insistent that she meet my children and come back into our lives. I was clear that the recording was a serious violation of trust and my privacy but her response was “she’s never done anything with it.” It’s worth noting, she didn’t apologize for it and she didn’t say she deleted it. She and MIL think I need to “just get over it” because my kids should meet their aunt. My husband is not interested in a relationship with his sister for a variety of reasons but regardless…am I the asshole for not letting her meet my children?

AITA for not letting my sister in law meet my kids

NTA

10vbtrv

Good morning, all. TL;DR at the bottom.I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for almost three years now. In that three year period, he has met basically my entire family. I have a very big, very close-knit family. On the flip-side, his family is a lot smaller and a lot less close-knit. He has an estranged sister who his mom forbids him from having a relationship with, a couple of aunts that he hasn’t seen in awhile, and a grandfather who is really getting up there in age that he hasn’t seen since he was a kid. I have only met his parents. My boyfriend had a dream that his grandfather died, and it spooked him, so he reached out to his grandfather that same day. He found out that his grandfather is not doing great health wise, so he decided he should go and visit him. He picked a time to go and has the trip all planned. When he first started planning the trip, I said I would love to help him plan it and go with him. I thought maybe he could use some support. I mean, he’s going to see his dying grandfather, who he hasn’t seen in years. It seems like it might be sort of emotionally tolling. He was VERY against the idea of me going, and it seemed to upset him that I had even suggested it. He said he just wants to have his own time with his grandfather. I completely understood this and backed off right away. Now, here’s where I think I might be the asshole. I found out recently that he’s taking a friend with him on this trip. Apparently there are a lot of rock-climbing opportunities in the state where his grandfather lives, and they’re going to take advantage of that on this trip. I will admit, this rubbed me the wrong way and I was upset. I brought the subject up again because I was pretty annoyed, and he got mad and told me, and I quote, “To plan my own trips and stop trying to hitchhike on mine.” Like, what? Then he said I could invite him on a trip I plan, but I’m not going on this one with him and to get over it. I was mad. I was upset. I felt angry and dismissed. So, I booked an all-inclusive trip to Mexico for about 2 months after his trip to “see his grandfather”, and I didn’t invite him. I’m going to go and spend time being warm and getting tipsy on a beach. He thinks it was petty of me to do that, and not ask if he wants to come, too. He claims I’m the one being dismissive of the fact that he just wants to visit his grandfather without me there. He says that this trip is way different than the one he’s going on. I told him to plan his own trips and stop trying to hitchhike on mine. He wasn’t impressed.AITA for planning this trip and not asking if he wants to come? TL;DR: My boyfriend is going on a trip to see his grandfather, and he told me he just wants to go alone when I expressed an interest in going. I found out he’s bringing a friend along with him on the trip, and so I booked an all-inclusive trip to Mexico and didn’t invite him. He thinks I was being petty and an asshole.

AITA for booking an all-inclusive trip to another country and not inviting my boyfriend?

NTA