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metaeval 4

Magically flip genders every year

Be forced to move and start fresh every year

Watch Seinfeld

Watch The Simpsons

Pee a marble

Poop a football

Wear the same thing every day

Never wear the same clothes twice

Be sick for the rest of your life

Kill 2 puppies

Have X-ray Vision

Have laser vision

Have your face on the $1 bill

Have your face on the $100 bill

Eat fast food burgers every night

Eat Chinese Take-out every night

Give up Christmas

Give up your birthday

Kill 5 innocent children yourself if it would end all bloodshed in the Middle East for 25 years

Have ongoing wars, terrorism and fighting in the Middle East

Have extremely muscular arms

Have extremely muscular legs

Never again play a game on your computer

Never again play a console or portable device game

Be a police officer

Be a firefighter

Be a professional Taser testee

Be a professional beanbag gun testee

Chug a pint of ocean salt water

Chug a pint of rancid milk

Play Goldeneye (N64)

Play Halo (Xbox)

Go toe to toe with Michael Myers

Try to take down Freddie Kruger

Catch your best male friend sleeping with your mom

Catch your best male friend sleeping with your sister

Be married to a morbidly obese and ugly person who is incredibly wealthy

Be married to a georgous person who is on welfare

Have holes put through both hands and both feet via nails and a hammer

Go for 40 days in the desert without food

Live in the Star Wars universe

Live in the Star Trek universe

Have no family

Have no friends

Only listen to bagpipe music

Only listen to banjo music

Inform a room of children that their pets are dead

Explain sex to a room full of children in graphic detail

Marry at age ten

Never marry at all

Have the voice of PeeWee Herman and dress perfectly

Have the voice of Morgan Freeman and dress terribly

Always Run

Always Crawl

Death by electric chair

Death by lethal injection

Yell a swear between every word

Get punched in the face after every swear

Wrestle an alligator

Wrestle a bear

Sleep in your parent's bed every night

Weep every time someone tells a joke in front of you.

Discover the Loch Ness Monster

Discover Sasquatch

Watch Are You Afraid of The Dark?

Read Goosebumps

Be on GUTS

Be on Legends of the Hidden Temple

Give up buttons and zippers

Give up velcro and knots

Always be late

Always be unprepared

Always wear a top hat

Always wear a giant clock necklace

Never be able to compliment

Never be able to complain

Kill one person you know

Kill three strangers

Rape someone, like it, go to jail for a long time, and regret it

Be raped

Eat nothing but ketchup for a week

Eat nothing but mustard for a week

Find a turd in your pillowcase after a nice afternoon nap

Wake up from your nap because someone is peeing on you

Only be able to smoke weed for the rest of your life

Only be able to drink alcohol for the rest of your life

Eat the same thing 3 meals a day for the rest of your life

Eat whatever you want but have to eat a poop sandwich once a month

Teach history

Teach math

Jump off a two story roof

Take a sandwich tackle from 3 rugby players

Absolutely reek of armpits for the rest of your life

Lose your sense of smell completely

Smuggle illegal contraband into the country in your "bottom"

Have clamps on your nipples for the entire flight

Be paralyzed from the neck down

Have your butt and genitals anatomically switch places

Be killed in a Saw movie

Be killed in a Final Destination movie

Have your way with Angelina Jolie for one day

Have your way with Jessica Alba for one day

Stand on red-hot, burning coals for 30 seconds without moving

Shut your hand in a waffle iron for two minutes

Be a Montague

Be a Capulet

Have grown up without a father

Have grown up without a mother

Be Dr. Zoidberg

Be Kif

Eat a cup of baking soda and then do a shot of vinegar

Eat a pack of Mentos and then chug a Diet Coke

Have met Jesus

Have met Confucius

Only drink Starbucks coffee

Only drink Dunkin Donuts coffee

Be one of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table

Be one of Robin Hood's Merry Men

Brutally assault a police officer

Brutally assault a well-known gang member

Be molested and raped by an orangutan while tied up in the nude

Have to give oral sex to an orangutan

Have uncontrollable Ear Hair

Have uncontrollable Nose Hair

Play Firefight (Halo ODST)

Play Horde (Gears of War)

Be the opposite sex completely

Be the same sex but have opposite (functional) "parts" south of the border

Be a regular on a daily soap opera

Make one-line cameos in three large Hollywood blockbusters each year

Have every commercial be an annoying Geico ad for the rest of your life

Have every commercial be a Verizon "Can you hear me now?" ad for the rest of your life

Change your religion

Change your political party

Be a character on LOST

Be a character on Heroes

Be a political figure caught cheating with an underaged boy/girl

Be a sports star caught running underground dog fighting competitions

Be famous for inventing the Whoopie Cushion

Be famous for inventing snap bracelets

Have no thumbs

Only have thumbs

Have your parents walk in on you having sex

Walk in on your parents having sex

Lose your preferred thumb

Lose the index and middle finger of your preferred hand

Have comically large feet

Have a comically oversized head

Only speak in haiku

Only speak in song lyrics

Smell like manure

Smell like urine

Get electrocuted for 10 seconds

Get slapped 20 times

Live in a penthouse in the city

Live in a mansion in the country

Only talk in third person

Never be able to call someone by name

Have narcolepsy

Have chronic insomnia

Always dissappoint people

Always anger people

Be unable to open doors unassisted

Be unable to climb stairs unassisted

Use only Windows ME for the rest of your life

Use only a 16 inch CRT monitor

Start your own business which is doomed to fail

Work for other people at low salaries

Have stretchable legs

Have stretchable arms

Speak everything in surround sound

Have your own entrance theme when you walk in a room

Wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney

Wake up in a public bathroom with a handful of singles and a really lazy eye

Strip on a webcam in front of your entire high school

Get caught making passionate love to a pie

Only eat breakfast cereal

Only eat pasta

Forget who you were

Forget who everyone you know is

Be godzilla

Be king kong

Only speak in words that begin with H

Not be able to say any words that have the letter E in them

Get $100 today

Get $1 a day for 200 days

Only smell like poop

Only smell poop

Get married to someone you don't love

Get married to the love of your life, but you can never have sex with them

Sound like Kermit

Look like Miss Piggy

Play Beirut (Beerpong)

Play Flip-Cup

Have a lover who only speaks on Mondays

Have a lover who only speaks in Pig Latin

Sneeze every three minutes

Always have the sensation to sneeze and never do

Listen to everything but your favorite musician/artist

Listen to only your favorite musician/artist