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I'm contemplating suicide via ruining my life.. If I can't do it quickly, then I'll do it slowly. I'm in no rush. I mean fuck it. I'm going to be miserable whether I'm working my dream job or being a cashier at McDonald's. What's the point in taking up something someone else is gonna enjoy more?

Maybe one day things will become brighter for you to see it in a better light so that dream job might be ideal

It's my birthday soon. I'll be 29. I first started having serious problems with depression when I was about 14. It has not got better. My life is a disappointment.

I truly know how you just going to do my own thing and live for myself and not allow anybody bring me down. I suggest you do the Same

Cutting. I'm not sure why I broke my streak of 8 months of no cutting but I don't feel any different, nor pain. I don't know whats wrong me. Help?

The reason I use to cut is I couldn't point to a part on my body and say it hurts here. It made me feel better at the time but it wasn't a real solution. You are in pain Broski. If that was me I would think that I had maybe an extra bad day/night and tried to fall back on old habits.

How to over cognitive impairment from depression??. I used to be the smart kid in the class before I became depressed!! I would do the work but it would be easy because I payed so much attention in class. I did well in school exams (Not as well as I could have but better than average) and have been in and out of college since due to indecision and anxiety from my depression. Giving it another go and I am so stupid!! I can't pay attention to anything. How can I get rid of this grogginess and be as alert as I used to be? I know exercise should help, but what kinds and how much? And are there weird foods I should eat? (Heard turmeric and black pepper in smoothies? And omege 3 supplements)

IME supplements are worth nothing when it comes to serious brain fog. Are you on medication?

I’m so fucking lonely. so fucking lonely and I shake the feeling. Alone in my apartment and just know what to do anymore.

I feel you dude, I am 25 and I have never had a girlfriend, I don't know how it feels to get hugged, there were never a girl in my life, who said she likes me for who I am. No friends or family, who are trying to cheer me up. Just me, work and my depressed thoughts that are preventing me to fall asleep every night. I am so lonely, it feels like deep cuts into my heart. I want to end this fucking pain.

Psych Ward Day 5. I lose track of time in here

I'm sorry. That's horrible... Are things getting better there, at least?

Why is college so fucking isolating!?!?. Everyone else seems so happy, and everyone else has a bunch of friends, and everyone else has an SO, and I just have nothing, it's not fucking fair...

I mean we only really notice the happy, smiling people because they look and sound the loudest. If you looked around campus I'm sure you'd see that most of us are sad, lonely fucks too

Life is not worth living if there's nothing to enjoy. Fuck anyone who says otherwise

Thanks, my depression is cured.

Please give me reasons to stay alive/not kill myself. I used to have a lot. Now all i have left is that i want to hurt the people that hurt me.

I heard GoT is going to have an epic season this year... look you have to find your own reasons for living and it's harder when you're depressed, don't make permanent decisions on temporary feelings ans situations. Everything changes with or without you, be open to new experiences, there's more out there than what you want, you might not get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need

Anyone else my age and depressed? I'm 16.. I have a normal life with a loving family. Yet I just don't want to exist anymore. School sucks and I feel it's futile. I want a relationship but am too scared and hate myself too much. I feel like I am ready to die, or just not exist.

yea I'm literally in the same boat. sometimes I find something I love and become so happy. but once I finish and remember real life, I just fall back into the rut.

Does anyone feel like your problems are insignificant compared others, yet they still seem like a heavy burden?. For example, compared to the lives that some other people had to endure, my life isn't too hard. However, my problems still feel like weights on my mind.

I hate it when people say that. It makes you feel so guilty for whining.

Do you guys ever feel like you’re having a blank mind or something?. Like everyday, I am not myself at all. I know though, I think depression. Can anyone relate though?

Sounds very similar to myself. Depression is a common part of my life but even when I'm not going through a cycle I still suffer from this blank mind where I simply can't organize a thought or put anything into words. I've come to a realization that it may be a form of anxiety. For me it can feel like an internal panic attack. I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom but I'm just know starting my battle to overcome it.

I don’t want to be like this forever. been depressed since middle school, in college now and life still sucks. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? I want to be sad for the rest of my life. Everyone keeps saying it gets better, but been 10 years and changed.

Are you putting forth the sacrifice needed to change such? Have you identified if you would sooner live a lie, or live a truth? Ask a blunt person the truth. Life is inherently a horrible experience covered up by meaningless stimulations that give the illusion of better. A bandage on the mortal wound of monotony and uselessness. How many people have you met that make you feel better? How many things in your life bring you outside the feeling of depression? For me there is nothing. I am a dirty old man, white, with red hair and bad teeth. I am despised and loathed by ninety percent of the population. People actively move out of my vicinity as if my very being is a contagion they might contract. The people who don't actively run, are despicable lunatics, selfish and narcissistic beyond redemption. wOE! Woe is me!

My 100% is a normal persons 25%. God fucking dammit life is so fucking exhausting. I'm struggling to just barely take care of myself and even that is pushing it. Jesus fuck I want to die

i like the statement, suffering is just part of life. i believe this to be true. i think we actually LEARN, not cognitively, but emotionally, that sometimes many of us just go thru these spells of suffering/depression. a solid 10 years here! just in the past 2 years am i starting to feel KINDA like a NORMAL person again

School. I start school Tuesday and all i can feel is this sense of dread of just being alone another year, but luckily its my last year. Even though its my last year i feel it's just too much to deal with. Things used to never be like this...

Good luck! Don't you have any friends in school by the way?

I feel really alone. Man I feel awful , I broke up friendship with my best friend and I now have absolutely no female companionship whatsoever. I feel really lonely man. I share strained friendships everywhere.

People hate you because you're strong. The depression will turn to hate and you will want to slaughter faggots legally.

Has anyone here gotten better and stayed better?. As far as I've been able to tell, no matter if you get better or not, depression will always just come back. Temporary problem, my ass.

This stuff all exists on a spectrum, so maybe arriving at some place of being totally better is not what it seems. I've had hardcore depression for many years, but I have definitely moved the bar significantly (without meds and without getting what i want in life or something, like a great relationship) which I can confirm especially in the moments when my external circumstances are going terribly, but i dont fall into 6 months of suicidal morbidity. I see depression (speaking only for myself here) as a product of thoughts and meanings. The same thing can happen to two people, and a depressed person will give it an incredibly dark meaning, whereas a non depressed person might give it a neutral or positive one. To me, growth out of depression is when you are finally grasping the arbitrary nature of meaning, and the impersonal nature of thought, and can start to make conscious rather than automatic decisions about what kind of meanings and thoughts you feed and go with (even arbitrarily). So, I arbitrarily decide to look at failing as good, because it gives me good reference experiences, rather than as evidence that i am worthless. Things like that. I still struggle a lot, but there is overwhelming evidence that you can slowly climb out of the hole with very hard inner work, and that the things that would have previously sent you down the spiral become more like non issues. Meditation is the single most powerful tool i've found.

Moral of the story dont be different.... you be different , everyone will be put you down and you will be a scapegoat

Don't give up! You are valuable. You are strong. Take care of your physical and mental health. Practice self-love. Hope things get better for you.

Dont know. I always used to be the most social person,some find it annoying but im like allot of people i need friends around or else i dont function.And it was all fine until i had to move to the middle of nowhere and i dont get to see any1 anymore.all i get to see is how much fun theyre having through snapchats and that just makes me feel like absolute shit.as the title says i dont know what to do since i cant affect anything since my parents are completely oblivious to the issue.

I'm kind of the same. people didn't like me in highschool but I tried my best just to be around people who would talk to me. I craved some sort of companionship. I would be lying if I said I'm fine not having friends but truth is I hope everyday to find someone I can connect with. One of my biggest dreams is to meet someone who becomes a life-long friend.

My name is jeret. My life is an endless nightmare, and I wanna die

Hi Jaret. Please confirm to me that you are not Jaret from Bowling for Soup. Then please tell us a bit more. We'd love to hear and to talk with you.

I wake up and just want the day to be over already.. Like I have nothing to look forward to.

I know the feeling. I'm just so tired. I don't want to play this game anymore

i love being drunk. I feel happy when i drink, it makes me feel like a normal person, instead of a piece of shit that i am

Feel that. I don't drink too often, but when I do, I always go over the top.

Depression feels like needing 200 mana to do things around the house, when it would normally cost someone 50.. Then everytime you feel ashamed of yourself because of it, the cost rises.

Don't worry, I'm stacking my tear t_t

Trigger word that cause emotional breakdown?. I sometimes breakdown when someone questions me about the family or people close to me, which I don't have. I'm reminded of how much I longed for someone to understand me and also the loneliness and depression I hide everyday behind a cheerful personality.

Hostage. Refer to the people who ghosted me as hostages or say they were justified. Accuse me of not trying or blame me for my circumstance.

My depression is hurting my partner. I'm 17 and in a relationship with a girl the same age as me, and we both suffer from depression. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I love her with all my heart, and she says the same about me. But recently I feel like my depression has been dragging her down, due to me being depressed more often than she is :/ she's has such a bright future ahead of her, and I don't want to ruin it. Would it be for the best if I cut things off and let her go? I've never wanted it to come to this, but I just feel that if I don't I'll ruin her life even more and she'll just come to hate me anyway :/

In what way is it dragging her down?

Suicidal protocol?. I'm not suicidal right now, and I would like not to kill myself. However, I've recently been having more and more suicidal thoughts. What should I do if I do become suicidal? Would I need to go to a mental hospital? Thanks for any and all advice

The more it manifests itself the more it'll take over your mind and convince you that it's a completely logical choice. I'm a fan of therapy, considering that you can find a good therapist. Talking to someone who doesn't degrade you for how you feel can be incredibly helpful. Those people tend to be hard to find in daily life.

I try and make so many jokes about everything just to feel some temporary validation among peers. Anyone else find themselves doing the same thing.

Ditto and I also bake brownies and cookies to get people to talk to me. It works for a little while.

I don’t want to die, I just want to stop existing. Does anyone else just want to stop existing? Like you want to die because you know it will hurt the people around you who love you, but you want to live anymore? Sometimes I just wish I ever born.

> Sometimes I just wish I ever born. Only sometimes? :S

I missed my Meds for a day and now I feel worse than ever. I guess they were doing something. Help me :(

No, that is just really bad withdrawal. Don't confuse that for how you were without them.

Struggling tonight, what are some good reasons to live?. Really in need of some inspiration and feeling like I can't get better or be happy.

Garlic bread is always a good reason.

I'm so stressed I just want to go back to sleep. It hurts to be awake I need a way out

sorry feeling so stressed right now, OP. Do you want to talk more about your making you so stressed?

fuck everything, fuck everyone, fuck my life, and fuck you. i hate everything, life is so shitty

listen to the song people=shit by slipknot....it might release some of the tension you're feeling right now. there are a couple of good things in life, maybe some really bomb food you love to eat or a show you really like or something, anything small that makes you feel better keep doing it

I tried to, but I didn't die.. Sorry if I worried you all. I was held in the hospital for 1 week until they were sure I would no do it again. I had to fake that I was fine, but I am more resolute than ever. I don't want to be alive anymore.

Oh thank god, you are safe tammy! I was really worried about you. Plz dont do this again

I want to give up.. So very badly. I've ruined everything good in my life. I can't take this pain anymore. I want it to stop. I want to be dead. This is too much. I can't undo my stupidity and now I'm fucked. I can't do this.

I have been at a similar point to you where I had suicidal ideations on a daily basis and to be honest, even when aspects in my life have improved, I still struggle with it frequently. I have done many things in life I regret and feel like I've fucked up a lot of situations, relationships and opportunities in both my personal and professional life. It took me a long time to understand that I can't go back in time and fix anything. It is fucking terrifying to feel like you've messed your life up but please trust me when I say that it's ok to fuck up. You are human. We all are. I have found that being alone with my thoughts was a big factor in triggering urges to harm myself or get stuck in my thought loops about how useless or worthless I am. If you have someone you trust to talk to, please dont be afraid to rant or reach out to them. My inbox is always open too if you need a stranger to listen. You're not alone in this.

Since I can't say it to anybody anymore. I love you, I hope you have a great day..

This hit me. I hope that I stay with my so and be able to say this to them everyday

I want to die. Why I go back to when things were normal. Hell I even remember that time. I just want to die now

If you need someone to talk to, you can always pm me

The only time I feel at least somewhat at peace is when I'm sleeping.. I find myself sometimes napping for no reason. I will wake up and then try to fall back asleep just because I don't want to face the day. And even then, it's not usually that great because I'll have torturous fucking dreams. It takes me forever to get going on mornings that I'm not working. Having time off over the holiday break has been totally miserable. I just feel more and more like the symptoms are manifested during weekends/days off because I have been able to sleep in, so I just sleep and sleep. I literally napped in the middle of the day for no reason today. Maybe it's avoidance of reality, maybe it's fatigue because of just mentally suffering all the time, idk. Sleeping is the only thing I feel I can do consistently these days.

I do that too. Sleep to waste time. To dream a better enjoyable life. I had a dream I was playing video games with an old high school friend last night. Most cheerful dream Ive had in a long time. Couldnt get back to sleep though....

Everyone at my NYE party is happy but me. Only three memorable things happened this/last year for me...

> Giving a girl my number but never getting a text Exact same thing happened to me a few days ago. How were the bands live?

No reason to be depressed. I have no reason to feel this way right now. So many people are suffering through so much worse, and i feel like this. Fuck me

I feel the same way. At least I did for a while. I talked to my doctor a couple years ago and basically I learned that depression is a *mental illness* and you can literally have no reason to be depressed, like myself, and still feel like absolute shit and want to cry all the time. I'm pretty sure we were just born with it and you can only treat it. I myself am still trying to fight it but It's only been maybe like 8 years so I'm sure it will get better eventually. Just stay strong my dude. If you ever need anyone talk to you can PM me. I stay up all hours of the night on the east coast.

Everyone says suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.. Happiness just feels like a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

Life is like an ongoing problem with many temporary solutions.

Why does no one care. no one even asks me if okay the point

Hey, are you okay? Do you need to talk or vent?

Anyone else just spontaneously feel fine or great?. I'm on a long streak of feeling great, it started after I cleaned my house to a ocd degree. I keep it up by doing chores and I don't feel sad.

thats great! doing things, even simple ones, like making your bed, can really help.

I stayed at home all day. I skipped uni to stay in bed and cry. Told my parents I'm staying home to study. Dad came home with cake, telling me I did well studying all day. When all I did was lie in bed. What a piece of shit.

School is probably about the most stressful thing in my life right now. I can't put myself to actually work hard at school because I just can't get myself to care enough. My family expects so much out of me and I constantly let them down.

how does a weirdo become a normie ?. i need help on this -_-

By spending time with people, in person. You'll probably fuck up a lot, make lots of social faux pas, feel like your the biggest idiot in the world (I do pretty regularly). However after a while you'll get better at being a 'normie'. Well as normal as people can be. We're all a fucking mess with no idea what we're doing, we just find other people who are a mess that are fun to hang out with.

After effects of depression meds. Hey everyone, I've been on meds (cymbalta) for about 6 months and my life has completely turned around since then. I broke up with my ex of 5 years and fell into deep depression where I was contemplating suicide. Went on the meds and my life has turned around completely. The only thing I would like to say is that I can't feel excited, or having feelings of love or connecting with someone. Could that be the meds also? Like I get they take away the lows but I'm wondering if they take away the highs also.

I don't really know if it's the Cymbalta. I haven't experienced that myself when on it. How long have you been on it? Maybe it's still building up?

Just want to start a new life.... My depression has been so bad lately, and I'm so disappointed with the way my life is going. All I want to do is pack all my things and move across country. I want to start a new life somewhere, change my name, cut off contact with everybody I know. If I don't get out of my current lifestyle, I'm afraid I might kill myself.

What's been bothering you lately that you wish to escape?

Do you feel awkward when you have hang out alone?. Do people throw shade at you?

I'd rather be alone than with people who are mean. Learning to enjoy your own company is difficult but once you get there you're set. Love yourself first, the focus on forming relationships with others

“Fetishizing sadness”?. I just finished binging BoJack Horseman, and something that gets brought up semi-regularly is your own What is this and how do I avoid it?

It means that you have transformed your misery in a fundamental aspect of your identity and anything and everything that happens in your life is gonna be somehow linked to that. It is gonna become impossible to differ between what is truly a hardship from what you are deciding to see as such, because pain has settled within yourself to the point that things would not make any sense if it was not present, so you will inflict it upon yourself to return to the only state of familiarity that you know: being miserable. The term fetishizing is used in a harsh, accusatory, pejorative way, blaming the characters for perpetually watching their lives through the blackest prism, but the truth is they just do not know any better than to do so. Furthermore, fetishes are often believed to be shameful and obscene in nature, because such random, nonsexual items PRODUCE intense satisfaction, whereas people that are accused of fetishizing sadness are just sheltering themselves (if i fuck myself up, no one else will).

God being alone sucks. not just taking about being single. Actually living alone... :/

Maybe you can find a room mate or something ? Idk what type of housing you live in (e.g. apt., house, renting, etc.) but that may help cut monthly expenses in some way too if that's something you're looking for. Maybe get a pet if your housing accommodations allow it. Pets really help with loneliness and depression sometimes. People can even actually get their pets registered as official emotional assistance animals. In some cases, they will be allowed to live in certain housing areas in which pets would otherwise not be allowed. Sometimes it's easy to focus on the negative of living alone. But there are tons of good things about it as well. You just gotta look towards those as well.

1:45 am.... cannot sleep... how will I die in sleep if I don't sleep.... I hope I don't wake up Edit: 03:04 am

Sleep is the cousin of death. We sleep a third of our lives and we dont even fully understand why.

Finally working. After waiting for sometime for a call back I'm finally going to be working after a longer then I wanted vacation. never thought a simple thing could be so uplifting.

Congratulations! Paycheck incoming. Netflix account incoming. Porn subscri- No?

It's my 18th birthday, everyone is congratulating me and to be honest I'm surprised I've made it this far.. Everyone wonders what I want to do with my life and I have no idea. The reason I have no idea is that I didn't think I'd still be alive today. I thought I would have ended it by now. Happy birthday to me

Congrats on your birthday. I've never thought as well that i might see my HS graduation this year.

I got upset but for the first time since I got ill with depression, I didn't cut.. Had another cry because I was so proud of myself.

That's wonderful news, you should be proud of that progress.

I gave up. I keep making the same mistakes, so I decided to just kill myself by starving myself to death.

starving yourself is slow painful and almost impossible op whats happened anyway

Ashamed. I'm just ashamed of the fact thaf I'm very much one of those people you look at and say they need help. I hate the idea of needing help so much. It just makes me feel broken. I don't want help. I just want to be normal again.

Same here. You can tell just by looking at me.

For those who have taken effexor, what has it done for you?. looking to hear both pros and cons of the medication. if you are currently on or have taken effexor, what did it do for you? as with any ssri/snri, they affect everybody differently and I understand this

side effects were bad, but the withdrawal was worse than coming down from opiates. over a month later, having rebound headaches and dizziness. i would suggest never taking it!

maybe being introverted is a good thing. knowing less people means there are less people to hurt me

I guess it makes a person more defensive against other people but it really depends on the person? Some people enjoy being alone and some people can't stand it

Does anyone know how to study when they're depressed?. I can't find the strength to do anything. It's almost as if my mind has turned off.

That has to be tough. It's different strokes for different folks of course but I might have a suggestion. I find my depression tends to be racing negative thoughts. My understanding is that there are two default brain modes, one is random thought, day dreaming for example, and the other is processing. So you need to switch from day dreaming to processing, and that is hard for everyone. Start with meditation. Close your eyes for 5min and focus on your breathing. If your thoughts drift from breathing, then shut it down n snap back to breathing. Don't get emotional, just stay calm and focus on breathing. When finished, move everything that is a distraction away from you. No phone, no internet if possible, just clear that shit away and start studying as if it is your breathing. This focus is just like a muscle and the more you flex the stronger it will become. Don't expect to focus for hours on end, but try to catch yourself when you drift and get back to that focus. Also make studying fun, or less boring. Take notes, highlight pages, repeat the things you read. Most importantly, try telling a story with what you are learning. It's a strong method for memorization. People with ordinary memories use stories and codes to memorize full decks of cards in minutes. Good luck!

I’m so lonely. Help. Please.. I know how to handle this

Well, we're all here because we've been in the same place one time or another. I, myself, find it hard to believe that it gets better. But, there's always this tiny ray of hope that says just, JUST, hold on for a little longer. And since I've got nothing better to do, I obey.

it's too much. i can't take it anymore

You aren't alone here. What's going on?

i wish i can just forget everything. so i find any reason to hate myself anymore

Everyone wants to forget something. But most of the time, we can't. Memories make us human. Good memories, bad memories, they really shouldn't make a difference now. That's the past. Try and focus on the present and the future. Even if you create bad memories, try and overcome them with positive, lovely and beautiful ones. I've been through this, and still am going through it, but I find it calming to talk to someone I love and care about. Maybe that could help you too!

Driving. I drive fast. Not just 10 mph over the limit but fast fast. I like to take backroads and drive in both lanes and follow the racing line just on the edge of losing control. My friends understand. I even drive like I usually do with them, just faster than what should be normal. They always tell me to slow down and not drive so recklessly, and sometime I do, and sometimes I Honestly I really understand either. Maybe the only time I really feel alive. Maybe I want an opportunity to die in an accident. Whatever it is I probably need to stop. Any of you like this too?

I do this too, only when I'm alone in the car.

I fucking hate it here (job). I try to be nice and speak my mind. I always get rediculed or shunned. I seem to have less and less friends at work. I fucking hate it. I hate people. Of course it's probably me being too sensitive. I need to call that therapist in the new year...

A therapist is never a bad idea. Do you have the option to look for different work? How long have you been there? For myself, I need frequent change or things get stagnant and I get frustrated.

Please help. Feeling very sad. I miss my ex. I miss being happy. I just want to curl up and cry.

Sometimes I envy those who are sad... I feel as though it's better than being a hollow emotionless being such as myself. I hope things get better for you, good luck :)

Lost my insurance.. I let the anxiety and depression win. I didnt do the paperwork i should have. It's my own fault. I deserve this. No more anti-depressants.

There must be something you can still do. give up if those antidepressants matter to your wellbeing

I dream of suicide. It's all I can think about at the moment.

I had a dream a while back that someone had a gun pointed to my head and I told them to to pull the trigger because they would be doing me a favor.....

What do you do when you're alone and depressed?. What are some things you guys do?

Play games on my phone and try not to think about drinking or doing any drugs...