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My son suggested that I post this here. I have three children 27, 25, and 23. I was married to their father for eight years and he passed away when out youngest was three. It was a somewhat arranged marriage and I did respect and care for him but I’m not going to lie and say my decisions here are based off of some deep love. My late husband was very wealthy and left me his entire estate to live off of and raise our children. I am supposed to give them each a certain percentage when they reach 25. I remarried two years later and my new husband provided for the children and I so most of the estate is intact.
The one thing he was very specific about was that I was only to give them the money if they stayed with the culture and the faith. This meant marrying someone also Persian and Jewish and continuing with the important traditions. My middle daughter did not to this.
She refused a Bat Mitzva and she is engaged to a white man. She has not been part of our faith since she lived under my roof and I could force her. She recently turned 25 and wanted to know when she was getting her inheritance. She was aware of the terms but she thought I was going to give in and now she thinks I am punishing her for making choices I don’t agree with. Honestly I have been very hurt by her choices but I don’t believe in using money to control my children. I’ve thought about this deeply and I don’t feel comfortable dishonoring their late father. It was his choice and his money. ###### | Yta. You’re not giving her the money because you are “hurt by her choices” and hiding behind your dead husband. Would you rather she just marry a man she didn’t love because he fit the Jewish/Persian checklist? Why have kids if you’re not going to let them live. It’s petty and mean not to give her her inheritance. Times have changed and this is discriminatory ###### |
I've always facetuned my photos, even before I met her. I feel like every one our ages (26 & 23) who actively use Instagram regularly are guilty too, I'm just open about it. My wife is now refusing to speak to me after I posted a pic of us, and I edited the pic to make her look thinner. I have told her that I do not expect her to look like the pics IRL, and everyone knows Instagram is not a realistic depiction of anyone. She still lets this make her feel insecure and claims I'm, well, an asshole. I find photo editing creative and just want us both to look our very best, I do edit my own appearance, not just hers. So reddit, am I really the asshole for something as trivial as this? I think it's a childish reason to not speak to your partner over this, and find it hard to believe she isn't being performatively upset. ###### | YTA. You’re insecure about yourself, you’re insecure about your wife, and your wife is right when she says that you’re making her insecure. ###### |
I'm a shift lead at a fast food joint.
Here's the deal, I have this worker, Shannon (18f) who is on the shy side. I'm not saying she's ugly but when compared to the other girls working, eh, lets just say she doesn't get a lot of attention. It's Saturday, it's busy, I have 3 cashiers and Shannon running food and bussing. We're running low on certain ingredients so I send her back to the kitchen to prep. In the kitchen I have my cooks, all guys. There's Joe who is known as the crew's asshole. He can be mean, jokingly, but it goes too far sometimes and we managers gotta step in and redirect him. I wasn't thinking anything bad would happen. I thought Joe would be too busy cooking. Peaking in on the kitchen every few minutes Joe is cracking jokes about Shannon right in front of her. I tell him to focus on his work. I don't know when but 30 mins in I find Shannon in back crying in the utility closest. Most days I'd take her to the side and talk to her but most days we aren't getting slammed and I'm getting chewed out by customers. I ask her simply if it's because of Joe's comments. She says yes. I tell her okay, either she gets back out front, we discuss this later or she can leave and take a write up. She tells me she just needs 5 minutes. No. I need her out there now and seeing as she wasn't doing anything I tell her to get out.
I discussed it later with both my store manager and assistant manager. Joe is getting a write up and talking to but we also came to the agreement Shannon will be getting one as well for leaving early.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You’re creating a toxic work environment for your employees. You’re also letting Joe get away with bullying (potentially sexually harassing, actually - sounds like these insults are appearance based, which is a huge no) a coworker.
By the way, there was no need to comment on Shannon’s appearance yourself. It simply does not matter. This is not her fault. She did not bring this upon herself. This is JOE’s fault for being an asshole, and you’re an asshole too for enabling him. ###### |
I've always facetuned my photos, even before I met her. I feel like every one our ages (26 & 23) who actively use Instagram regularly are guilty too, I'm just open about it. My wife is now refusing to speak to me after I posted a pic of us, and I edited the pic to make her look thinner. I have told her that I do not expect her to look like the pics IRL, and everyone knows Instagram is not a realistic depiction of anyone. She still lets this make her feel insecure and claims I'm, well, an asshole. I find photo editing creative and just want us both to look our very best, I do edit my own appearance, not just hers. So reddit, am I really the asshole for something as trivial as this? I think it's a childish reason to not speak to your partner over this, and find it hard to believe she isn't being performatively upset. ###### | YTA. you’re basically telling your girlfriend she’d look better if she was thinner, of course she’s insecure ###### |
So this whole situation is ridiculous, and she's technically my ex gf I suppose.
My 30 m ex chloe 27 of 6 month's has a medical condition called fibromyalgia, she used to be 5'1 and 180 pounds, but since got down to 140 pounds via diet but no exercise.
I always said no exercise would come back to bite her in the ass and lo and behold as of last month she had to be admitted to hospital for covid and because she's so unfit it almost killed her.
Chloe is still using the excuse that she's always exhausted and too exhausted for any exercise at all.
So the doctor gives her steroids for her lungs and a bunch of other medication.
He the tells her to join a gym or to start a very slow walking routine.
What drives me crazy is this, I'm a personal trainer at a pretty high end gym in the area, so I advised chloe that her strength would increase much much faster by starting a lifting routine.
But she immediately shot me down saying she can barely lift a shopping bag and that she wants to follow the doctors plan.
Chloe is on heart medication, a betablocker because her heart races the second she dose any kind of cardio, and this doctor has her starting a walking routine ...
This issue kind of festered for a few days until I told chloe I thought it was all bullshit and that she needed to listen to me or have a heart attack on the treadmill.
What I didn't expect was for her to say she been checked out of our relationship for awhile and how I handled her health during covid did it for her.
Despite the fact that I've done nothing but try and help in an area I literally work in? AITA for trying to help? ###### | YTA. You’re a personal trainer with a different opinion than her physician. She has a chronic medical condition. Let her gain strength at her own pace ###### |
I’ve been with Rhiannon for 16 months, living together for 7months.
Rhiannon (25F) has a 6year old daughter, I (29M) have a 3year old daughter so I’m sympathetic for her struggles.
I suppose Rhiannon’s neighbour took some sort of liking to her and since she moved in there he’s been giving her food every month, doing the gardening and occasionally babysitting - all for free, which is nice but I’ve moved in and we’re combining incomes and I am do the gardening so we really don’t need his charity.
My grandmother raised me to work hard and if we were struggling? Work even harder, I don’t believe in charity (unless really needed and we don’t need it)
I’ve spoken to my girlfriend and told her she needs to refuse his charity because she doesn’t need it, I’m there and it’s not like we need the help.
She got upset and told me I’m being an insecure asshole and that it’s really not something to be upset about.
I think it is; we don’t need it and it just feels inappropriate.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You're using the word "charity" a lot. Not only is there no shame in charity, but this is just one neighbour helping another. Call it "kindness" instead, and get over your insecurities. ###### |
Me (M38) and my gf (F23) have lived together for 3 years. She didnt go to college, and she wasnt very popular in high school. She hasnt made many friends in the 3 years we've been together and I dont mind. I work, she stays at home. Its fine for the both of us.
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A few days ago I came back from work to see another man, near my GFs age, sitting at the kitchen table. She introduced him as her old friend from highschool she ran into at the market. I was suspicious and made him leave, and told her not to bring friends over, especially male ones, without letting me know.
A few days later, he was back. She said he just dropped by and she appreciated the company, as she spends most of her time inside. I let it go and he was there almost every day after work. It annoyed me alot because I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend. We had a argument and she said she was lonely and just liked a friend. I told her I give her everything she needs to be happy and she can handle the day alone til I come back. She said she didnt want me to be the only thing in her life, and I told her if she didnt want to listen to me, she could get out of my home. She broke up with me before she left and lives with her friend now. I feel bad but it seems like her "friend" was trying to become more than friends.
AITA? I miss her and I've been eating takeout since she left ###### | YTA. You're trying to control your (ex)girlfriend's interactions with people when you admit already that she doesn't have many friends. Your "give her everything she needs to be happy and she can handle the day alone til I come back" line reads as a massive abuser. I'm glad she had the strength to be able to break up with you because you sound like a manipulative bastard. ###### |
I teach high school chemistry, but also a few introductory classes at the college. This occurred in the fall semester. Recently, some other science professors and I gathered for the fourth and were discussing students who weren't meant for college and were obviously forced by parents. I told them this situation, in which I was given mixed feedback on. Some say I'm an ass, some say no.
I had a student, Jane, in my night class. She was very shy, didn't work very hard and was obviously failing my class. Whenever she asked for help she was very clumsy, stammering. I believe she may have had a speech disorder, along with some confident issues.
Halfway through the course, I ask a simple question on an element and call on Jane to answer. She freezes up and doesn't say anything. I hint towards the correct answer, until I'm finally telling her. Most of the class is staring at her now and she whispers can you please stop staring at me.
A few kids snicker. A little frustrated, I blurt out 'They're laughing and staring Jane because it's so absurd you can answer questions on first term material.'
She excused herself to the bathroom, came back looking as if she had been crying and dropped the class that same day. I don't know what happened to her. I was mean, but not over the line. To pass my class you need to be focused. ###### | YTA. You're supposed to teach students, not humiliate them. You could clearly see this girl was struggling - did you ever try speaking to her one on one to see what you could do to help her succeed in your class? ###### |
So this happened pre corona, around January. My sister hasn’t spoken to me since then and I honestly feel like she’s dragging this out. All because I wasn’t on her side during the divorce.
So what happened was she attended a work event with her husband. It was a party and everyone brought their spouses. She was pregnant so she wasn’t drinking. Her husband got pretty drunk and she saw him and another coworker flirt, her exact words were “His hands were on her waist and her hands were on his lower thighs”. They were dancing really close and whispering to each other smiling. My sister got upset and left the party in tears.
She went home and and packed her bags and called me asking if she could stay with me and wife for a few weeks as she gathered herself together as she was planning to divorce her husband. I told her to calm down and she told me the full story and I told her that she’s overreacting and pregnancy hormones are why she’s pissed.
I don’t consider this cheating and it’s something they can work through. To divorce other this? He was dancing with someone else. That’s not that serious. Plus you can’t just crash at my house for a few weeks because your husband smiled at another woman. She started crying and said I’m a horrible brother and she wishes our parents weren’t dead. I told her not to manipulate me and she blocked me.
It’s been so long and we haven’t spoken. She’s had the baby and she’s separated from her husband and she lets my wife and daughters come see the baby but not me. Was I really that wrong? If it was physical cheating then I could’ve understood but her story just isn’t enough for such a drastic reaction in my opinion. ###### | YTA. You're not obligated to give her a place to stay, but she's well within her right to leave her husband for any reason, up to and including "I didn't want to be married to him any more." Blaming her choices on "pregnancy hormones" is really insulting.
What's more, I bet dollars to doughnuts this was a "straw that broke the camel's back" situation, and your sister has been putting up with bullshit from her husband for a while. ###### |
So I’m in college, and in the US we have a program called ROTC at most colleges and it’s kinda like a fast track to commissioning into the military. To be in the program, there are pretty strict physical fitness and BMI requirements to go further than halfway through the program.
Last month on of my friends from high school told me she was thinking about joining, and asked me for my help about planning her schedule around it. In the program, we have physical training 3 mornings a week which, for someone who doesn’t work out regularly, could be very intense. So I warned her that if she wants to join, she needs to start working out, eating right and losing weight. The exact words I texted her were, “So our workouts can be pretty intense for people that don’t ever work out. So you need to eat a lot healthier than you do now and start regularly working out so you can slim down, because your BMI is probably too high right now”. And she left me on read. I texted her to ask what’s up and still left me on read. I hadn’t heard from her until last week when our mutual friend texted me telling me that I needed to apologize to her. I of course asked why and she told me that I had really hurt her feelings. I felt bad but I told the mutual friend, that I told her what she needed to hear and what she needed to get into the habit of changing if she was serious about joining. Am I the Asshole? ###### | YTA. You're in ROTC, right? Then you should know that no matter what you weigh, they'll push you to finish.
I remember my brother talking about his first day at ROTC. A friend brought him along, and he remembers running to the side and vomiting during the pushups, because he wasn't used to so much exercise. And he said he was by far not the only one.
But guess what? He did just fine and now he's a Major in the army.
Even if you're not in great physical shape, ROTC GETS you in great physical shape. To me it sounds like you just used this opportunity to make a jab about your friends weight. ###### |
2 years ago my wife got talking to a woman online in a random Facebook group. They both noticed they had the same breed of dog and got talking. Turns out we live 30 mins from her. I didn't think anything of it but after 6 months they decided to meet up. By this point my wife knew her friend was autistic and her friend said she'd have to bring her mum with her to meet up until she felt more comfortable. I didn't think anything of the fact she was autistic and thought they wouldn't meet up again. I was wrong.
Since then they meet up at least once a week and at least four times a month she comes to our house. When I first met her it felt like she didn't like me as she wouldn't laugh at jokes, avoided eye contact and just seemed distant. I told my wife this after her friend had left and she basically said 'well duh she's autistic, go read up on it'. I thought things would get better as time went on but it hasn't. I feel awkward and uncomfortable the whole time she's in my house and I honestly don't see what my wife sees in her as a friend.
When they go out together everything has to be preplanned days in advanced, my wife calls ahead to restraunts to ask them if it's possible to turn the music down and she takes days off work to take her friend to doctors appointments. When I hear them laughing it's usually at something that isn't even funny and just odd to laugh at.
All I want is my house back. I work hard and want to come home and relax at the end of the day but she's often here until 10pm on the days that she's over and even worse she sleeps over occasionally. I've asked my wife for them to meet at her friends house instead but apparently her friend isn't comfortable with anyone but her mum in her home yet she thinks it's perfectly acceptable to make herself at home in my home.
My wife said she's getting sick of my complaining and I should just go out for a bit or to my parents house on those days if it's such a big deal ###### | YTA. You're ignoring the fact that your wife DOES want to be friends with this person. Your dislike is largely based on how offputting your find the symptoms of autism. You're taking it personally that she's avoiding eye contact and seeming distant. That's kind of like taking it personally that a person in a wheelchair won't stand up for you or that a person from another country has an accent that you find offputting.
If you're uncomfortable with the amount of time your wife is having friends over or you don't like having other people sleep over, that's something to discuss with your wife. But you need to do it from the point of view that she's allowed to have friends and that you're not against her friendship and you want her needs to be met as well as yours. You can discuss these issues with your wife, but you need to drop the part where you don't like her friend for such stupid reasons.
Also, your wife is right, you should probably read up on autism. ###### |
So we’re a month-ish into school now (I’m a sophomore), and in history class, we were all paired up to do a group project. The people in the group were (it becomes relevant) two Indians (including me), one white guy, and a black girl.
After the class, I was talking to some people who are in that class, and one of them told me that he was pretty sure the groups were assembled according to the grade you have in the class— each group gets one person with an a, one with a b, one with a c, and one with a d or f. That way, no one group is OP or something.
I thought about it, and it made sense to me. I don’t know everyone’s grade exactly, but I did generally know who was doing bad or good, and each group seemed to have a balance, so even if it wasn’t as much of a strict formula as my friend said, the teacher did divide is generally based off how well we did.
We all were speculating who the D/F students were, and I said it was probably *insert name of the group member that was black*. I know I have an A, and I know she isn’t doing that well— the teacher always makes everyone participate in class by asking them questions, and whenever he asks her, she’s behind or has the wrong answer. Both the other members of my group seem to do alright, so it’s a reasonable assumption that she’s the one with the bad grade.
I explained this, but someone got pissed and said I just thought that because she was black instead of asian or white. It wasn’t that deep, really— she just is bad at history compared to the other two, so I said she was likely the one with the worst grade. Has nothing to do with race.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You weren’t being racist, but you and your friends were being very much AHs by discussing who’s the worst student. There is no need for that. ###### |
My MIL and I have a complicated history. I lived with them briefly in high school and she kicked me out in the middle of the night because she said I abuse her son and she doesn't want her younger kids to see that shit. I was literally sleeping so I wasn't "abusing her son" in that moment. She disapproved of us getting married so young. She left our wedding early to go to her friend's husband's birthday party and when my husband asked her to stay she said she would stay longer at his next wedding. She also refuses us any type of financial assistance and says it's out faults that our lives suck.
Anyway hubby won't drop the rope. MIL has a twin brother and in my mind I call them Jamie and Cersei. They are very close. He got married a few years ago and his wife is infertile so MIL agreed to be their surrogate. I think it's super creepy, because he's her brother and just eww. We went to Starbucks the other day (she has a good sense of humor in general) and the barista commented on her bump. I told them she was pregnant with her brother's baby, so she took my coffee (she paid for it) and dumped an entire thing of powdered cinnamon in it. ###### | YTA. You weren’t abusing him AT THAT MOMENT is admission of abuse. She denies you financial assistance? She doesn’t owe you money. You make yourself sound abusive and entitled. ###### |
So a throwaway
When I (M19) first started dating my girlfriend (F18) she has body confidence issues and was a bit on the chubby side and didn’t like to show her body. I told her that confidence was very attractive and that being unconfident like she was was really unattractive. A couple of my female friends are very confident in themselves and posts photos of themselves on Instagram and snapchat. I told her that she is beautiful and that her body really isn’t an issue and that maybe she could as my friends for some tips. She then started a diet and exercising and lost a lot of weight and is pretty toned now. Obviously my girlfriend was always attractive regardless.
Now she’s started to posts photos of her in crop tops and her workout gear and is getting a lot of attention. She’s always snapchatting her at the gym and her in minimal clothing ( pants and a work out bra) sometimes just in clothes that show cleavage as well. My male friends keep liking all her posts and making comments about how happy and great she looks. I didn’t appreciate them making comments on my girlfriend nor her posting continuously.
I talked to her about how I felt and she seemed taken aback. She said that I was the one who kept telling her to gain confidence and kept shoving pictures of my friends in her face all the time and it made her feel worthless and not good enough. I told her that I didn’t mean to show her body to everybody - she argued she was never revealing her body in a provocative way. We fought about it and she said that I’m being an ass because I was the one who compared her to my female friends and now I don’t appreciate when she built confidence for herself. We got into a massive argument over it and I honestly feel like she isn’t listening and is liking this new attention. AITA here? ###### | YTA. You were the one who kept telling her to gain confidence.
You should be sold in the produce section. ###### |
Because I (29f) worked in fast food/restaurants during high school and early adulthood, I put in my best effort to be courteous to the worker. Usually, when I'm with friends or family and we have a split order (they pay for their food, I pay for mine) I make sure we go inside instead of drive thru to avoid extra hassle for them.
I was out with my friend (24f) when we decided to stop for dinner. We check the times to make sure the lobby is still open. Online it says it is. We get there and only drive thru is open.
In the past my family has ordered separate orders through drive thru, so while I don't like it, I know we can do it.
Nope! We get to the order box and apologize right away saying we needed separate orders. Immediately they say they can't do that. I'm a little taken back and but am still polite and just ask if they changed that due to everything going on. No reply, until a minute later when they yell out are you going to order. They tell us we can either get one order now and pull back around for the second, or put them on the same order. Seeing as 6 cars are now behind us my friend just pays for us.
At the window I ask the cashier when did the policy change. She tell me a while ago, pretty shortly, and they have their reasons. I'll admit I'm a little confused and ask what those reasons were. She snaps and says just for safety and slams the window. She throws us are food and tells me I don't need to badger them on a policy they have no control over. My friend and I left in shock.
Now I'm feeling like a Karen. Was I over the line? ###### | YTA. You were sitting at the drive through causing a big line to form because you felt you were owed an explanation for their policies. You aren't. You had the information you needed to place your order. And seriously, is it that hard to Venmo someone for your part of a food order? ###### |
I've worked at this company for 3 years. my 3 year anniversary landed on the same day of my SO proposing and to top it off I'm getting promoted. I was expect at least something from my coworkers. like small party, gift, nothing fancy.
I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing. there were congrats and well dones but nothing else.
I poured my eyes out later to my SO later and expressed how uncared about I felt. he contacted one of my coworkers, soon to be employee, and she went to my manager and set something up. they had a little buffet in the break room. just the common stuff: veggie platter, dips, chips and sweets like cookies, tarts and brownie, some banners.
at the end of the day I took the leftover home with me on the plates/tupperware they came in on. the coworker (again, my soon to be employee) text me that next day asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates. I said yeah and she got super hostile.
apparently she wanted to keep those in the break room for those unable to attend the party could still eat and nowhere did she say this was all for me. she also needed the platter plate back because she was making a birthday cake for her niece.
my SO and I both agreed it was wrong for her to text me like that and seeing as it was my party, if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them. but he thinks I should just apologize to keep the peace. If I'm not wrong I don't see the point. ###### | YTA. You were not entitled to the left overs for gods sake you cried and FORCED them to throw you a party.
Plus you took their tupperware , give it back it wasnt yours ###### |
Throwaway bc family could see.
I (31F) have one son, 3M. He’s very sweet, calm, low-maintenance, and a great kid. I lucked out with him. We asked one of his daycare providers, B, to watch him for 5 hours, from 1-6 since I had to work. B knows he’s an easy kid and she knows him well, so she went with a lower charge, and we agreed on $50 for the whole time. It wasn’t discussed in terms of hours, rather we agreed that $50 for the time she was there was sufficient.
Well, there ended up being a situation at work that prevented me from getting home at 6, so I wasn’t able to relieve her until around 6:45. My husband works from 11 AM to 8 PM, so him relieving her was out of the question.
When I got there, she seem to be in a hurry to get out of the house. I understand that I was late, but as a person who works with kids and their parents, she is well aware that things come up. I handed her a $50 bill and she thanked me, but asked for $7 more. I told her that she got the 50 she agreed on, but she said that since I was 45 mins late and I was paying her $10 an hour, she had earned $7 more for an extra 45 mins. I told her that’s not what we agreed on. We agreed on $50, and it shouldn’t matter that I was late because we didn’t discuss it in terms of hours. She argued that I agreed I would be home at six and didn’t adhere to that either, but it’s an entirely different story.
I ended up only giving her $50 and showing her out of the house. I’ll admit that she did a great job with my son. But in my opinion she had no right to ask for more. My husband and mother both think that I was being an asshole. I don’t agree. AITA? ###### | YTA. You were late. People deserve to be paid for their time. If you were asked to work overtime at a job, wouldn't you expect to be paid? It doesn't matter what a little angel your son is. Pay people for their time.
Edit; also your username is laughable considering you're the one that thinks you're entitled to not pay a babysitter for your poor time management. ###### |
When my daughter came out as gay and asked me to walk her down the aisle, I told her I loved her but that I couldn't walk her down the aisle. My wife went to the wedding and my daughter stopped speaking to me.
A year ago, my wife died and my daughter said she wouldn't come to the funeral if I was there. I told her not to hold her feelings toward me against her mother. Her wife came, but she didn't.
The wife and I kept in touch and she recently contacted me to let me know that my daughter wanted to meet with me and make up. I said no. She said I was being unreasonable. I said that's fine and I hung up.
I've been getting mixed reactions. My daughter has been reaching out to different family members trying to get in contact with me. I asked my children specifically what they thought. It was split down the middle. Some were saying I should try to make up with her and the rest were saying I don't have to because she didn't show up for her mom's wedding.
So I called my daughter's wife, and she said, "Oh, thank goodness! Hold on, let me put your daughter on the phone."
I said, "No. I just wanted to call you to tell her that I don't ever want to speak to her again and to ask you her not to contact me again."
She called me an asshole and I heard my daughter crying in the background, but I hung up.
So AITA? I don't think I'll ever forgive her for not showing up to her mother's funeral. All because she was mad at me at the time. Her mother didn't do anything to her. ###### | YTA. You were being a homophobe but then acting like the victim when ur daughter tried to talk to you again. This has to be fake honestly ###### |
Me and my girlfriend work for the same company, in Treasury. We sometimes bring some work home and finish it there since it’s much more peaceful. Last night was one such day and she was working on a tax computation. A couple of hours in she says “I’m such an idiot” I so obviously asked why. She says that she realised that she had done that part of that calculation a few days back and now she’s three quarters of the way doing it for a second time. I though this was funny and laughed and cracked a few jokes. She laughed too. Then a few minutes go by and she calls herself an idiot again. I asked her what it is this time. She says nothing and it’s about what happened. Then again calls herself and idiot. Theirs keeps on going for a few minutes with increasing creativity on the way she calls herself foolish. I keep trying to tell her she’s not but she’s not listening to one word of it. At this point I kinda lost patience with it and kinda snapped at her saying “Could you f***ing stop? You’re not an idiot.” She falls silent. Like dead silent with tears in her eyes and walks out of the room with her laptop. She didn’t speak to me for a couple of hours and later she tells me she was scared of me. I’ve never raised a hand against her or hurt her physically or screamed at her. So what do you think? AITA?
Edit: I heard you. I took her out for lunch from work today. I apologised. I admitted that I should not have reacted this way. Her answer was to kiss me. I really don’t deserve this girl. She is an angel. ###### | YTA. You went from calmly checking in on her to "Could you f\*\*\*ing stop?" A more caring thing to do would be to call a timeout and say "Look, you're not an idiot. I keep hearing you call yourself that. You made a mistake. We all do this. But you're stuck in a negative feedback loop that is not productive. It's all going to be okay."
Instead you lashed out likely because you were uncomfortable. Not cool. Even if your tone wasn't sharp, your words were. Apologize to her. ###### |
So I’m curious about the general consensus on this. I have a sister in law Jane, who I have a hot and cold relationship with. She can be very judgmental and righteous, but I don’t totally hate her. Jane’s commented in the past that my marriage makes her uncomfortable. Now I was the bitchiest sense of humor, and the first time I really thought my current husband might be *the one* was when I realized literally nothing I said offended him.
I lost a bet the other day, so my punishment was doing whatever he wanted for the day, and since my husband is a complete asshole, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. Well I ended up in a French maid costume, but still it could have been worse, just bringing him what he wanted, and getting on my knees to profess my undying love (I have serious issues with saying nice things), and lots of massages. Anyway Jane showed up unannounced, which isn’t a big deal in our family, and wanted to hang out while she waited for her son at the doctor.
I explained the costume, but she looked kind of uncomfortable. So my husband just likes to piss me off, so every time I sat down he wanted something else. Jane looked super uncomfortable at this point, but I’m the dumbass who made the bet. Jane finally said she was leaving, and I asked if her son was done. She said no, but we have a gross relationship and this is some weird emotional abuse. I did text her that I was sorry if she was uncomfortable, but my husband maintains that I am not the asshole in this situation ###### | YTA. You two were playing it up to make her uncomfortable. Anyone would have felt terribly awkward in her position. Honestly it *is* gross to carry on like that in front of unwilling participants in your dynamic. As for her emotional abuse claims, that's not really for reddit to decide. While we have very little information to go on, your relationship does seem more mutually mean-spirited than most. (Unless this was explicitly laid out kink, in which case, again, don't do it with your SIL over.) ###### |
throwaway for obvious reasons.
In late February, I went on a trip organized by my college's Student Association. Anyone who wanted to could sign up, and they take you to this indoor adult obstacle course with a ball pit, go karts, swinging ropes, monkey bars, etc.
We had to sign a waiver at the time we signed up, and one of the stipulations was that you couldn't be on the course under the influence of alcohol or marijuana. This seemed reasonable, so I agreed and signed.
After arriving, I went into the bathroom and took half a tab of acid. I had an absolute blast on the go karts, tire swing, and in the ball pit (it was soooo hard to get out)! I was actually more able to do the things like monkey bars after it kicked in, so it's not as though I was stumbling and flailing around. My mistake came when I got into a conversation with an employee by the tire swing - he noticed that my pupils were enlarged, and told me I would have to leave.
I told him that I was not under the influence of alcohol or marijuana, and I could tell he didn't believe me. He just kept repeating that I needed to leave, and that people were not allowed to be intoxicated on the premises. I told him that the policy only specified alcohol and marijuana, and I had not taken either. He called security, who then escorted me out. AITA? ###### | YTA. You tried to use a loophole and it didn't work because it's obvious what they meant. ###### |
I (22f) have a younger sister who is 19. When we were both young teenagers, we went through a lot, and our dad ended up leaving. Our mom turned to drugs and alcohol, and my sister and I responded completely differently. I threw myself into my academics and school work, and my sister went down the same path as our mom.
Two years ago, our mom OD’d and my sister had a major wake up call. She vowed to never touch a single drug again and went completely cold turkey. She had bad withdrawals for a while but eventually completely got her life back together. She went to college, got a good job, all that.
Over the past five months or so, I’ve noticed a massive change in my sister. She was suddenly really withdrawn, and always seemed high. I had seen her in a constant state of euphoria for years, and just thought deep down that she was using again. I’m really anxious when it comes to the well-being of my family, so broke down to my boyfriend and asked him what to do. I later decided that night that I would create a fake Tinder account and talk to my sister, in the hopes of finding out what was going on. I knew she had tinder and we quickly matched.
Our conversations turned deep pretty quickly, with her opening up to “me” about our past and her addictions etc. This was over a few days which I felt guilty about but I wanted to find out what was going on. She told me that she’d been fighting cravings for a while, but knew that she’d never go back after seeing our mom. I slowly ghosted her until we didn’t talk anymore.
I ended up having a conversation with my sister a couple days later and told her about the profile I made to find out, she absolutely flipped her shit and couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust her after she insisted she was never going to do it again. I told her I was only looking out for her. AITA? ###### | YTA. You tricked your sister into opening up to you like that. That is a MASSIVE breech of trust ###### |
Recently bought my first car, owner said it was in pretty good nick and well looked after. He had it serviced about 1k kms before selling so I don't doubt he thought it was in good condition. Check engine light turned on on the way home (in less than 10mins of driving). Had it checked, NZ$2500 of repairs. I told the previous owner and tried to open negotiations with him, however he sold the car to pay off the deposit on a new car so he isn't in a financial position to help me at all, not that he offered. I'm currently filing for a dispute to have my NZ$3144 returned to me and for him to take the car back, but he also has a wife and two kids at home, so I have no idea what this will do to his financial situation. Then again, I shouldn't have to pay for the repairs on a car that isn't in the condition he said it was (car is undriveable, brakes could go at any moment). I also wouldn't be able to afford repairs for another four months, meaning I wouldn't be able to use the car over my summer break from University which is the entire reason I bought the thing.
AITA for taking the previous owner to court to get a refund? ###### | YTA. You took it to a professional and it was too hard for them to find the issues (per your own comment), but you expect this average Joe to have found them and refund you? ###### |
Title sounds bad but please hear me out
My daughter (Elly) has been doing this thing for the past weeks where she insults herself and expects me and my wife to correct her. Like she'll say she can't eat the dinner we made because she's fat (she's not fat, not even close) and we'll have to go through this song and dance where we have to say no you're not, you're beautiful etc. Honestly, it's getting really annoying. I've tried talking to her about it and asking if she wants to get therapist but she just asks like I'm crazy and blows me off.
This came to a head yesterday when Elly was telling me how she was excited to see her friends at the beach this weekend. She also did the thing again and went on about how she's also nervous them and her crush seeing her in a swimsuit since she's so "fat and disgusting" (again she's not even close to fat, she's not even overweight). At this point I was done, so I said joking "yeah that's tough, but maybe if you tried eating less you wouldn't have this problem". Elly literally started crying for some reason, and just stormed off.
Later in, she told my wife what happened, and she was pissed at me. She told me I was cruel to our daughter and that I should apologize. I refused and told her (and Elly later) that I was teaching Elly an important lesson, that her sulking like this is very off putting and that her peers are going to find this off putting.
We're still fighting about this, AITA? ###### | YTA. You told your daughter she's fat and ugly, you're an asshole no matter the reason.
The adult, mature, good parent way to handle this would be to have a conversation with her about how you're concerned about her self-image issues, reinforce that you think she's beautiful blah blah blah but it's not healthy for her to be looking for constant reassurance, etc...
But no, you just got tired of it and said she's fat. ###### |
I (22f) have a younger sister who is 19. When we were both young teenagers, we went through a lot, and our dad ended up leaving. Our mom turned to drugs and alcohol, and my sister and I responded completely differently. I threw myself into my academics and school work, and my sister went down the same path as our mom.
Two years ago, our mom OD’d and my sister had a major wake up call. She vowed to never touch a single drug again and went completely cold turkey. She had bad withdrawals for a while but eventually completely got her life back together. She went to college, got a good job, all that.
Over the past five months or so, I’ve noticed a massive change in my sister. She was suddenly really withdrawn, and always seemed high. I had seen her in a constant state of euphoria for years, and just thought deep down that she was using again. I’m really anxious when it comes to the well-being of my family, so broke down to my boyfriend and asked him what to do. I later decided that night that I would create a fake Tinder account and talk to my sister, in the hopes of finding out what was going on. I knew she had tinder and we quickly matched.
Our conversations turned deep pretty quickly, with her opening up to “me” about our past and her addictions etc. This was over a few days which I felt guilty about but I wanted to find out what was going on. She told me that she’d been fighting cravings for a while, but knew that she’d never go back after seeing our mom. I slowly ghosted her until we didn’t talk anymore.
I ended up having a conversation with my sister a couple days later and told her about the profile I made to find out, she absolutely flipped her shit and couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust her after she insisted she was never going to do it again. I told her I was only looking out for her. AITA? ###### | YTA. You thought breaking her trust and catfishing her was a better solution than being mature and talking to her one-on-one about your feelings and observations? Come on now. How childish. 100% understand your sister feeling betrayed and upset. It’s great and understandable that you are concerned about her, but that doesn’t mean you get to disrespect her and cross boundaries. ###### |
I love my daughter, but I never really wanted kids and never liked them all that much. My ex wife did, and because I was young and in love I decided to have a child with her. I do not for one second regret my decision. My daughter has brought much joy to my life and made me a better person, but I gave up a lot of myself in order to give her a good childhood and life. I'm not saying this because I feel I deserve a medal or sympathy, but I was relieved when she started to get older and more independent because I gradually began to get my life back.
My daughter is now in her late 20s and had her first child this year. I am very happy for her, but I just don't have any interest in being a grandfather. I was never much of a kid person, and becoming a parent hasn't changed that. I did my duty to her and feel I've done as much as was expected or required of me. Anything now is bonus and optional, and I am opting out.
I didn't come right out and tell my daughter this, but after she kept trying to have me come to her house or bring the baby over to mine and I kept declining, she knew something was wrong. I told her the truth, and she didn't take it well.
My daughter thinks I am being an asshole by "shirking" my duties as a grandfather. My ex wife agrees and says I am being selfish and that by signing up for parenthood I was also signing up for grandparenthood. They also feel this is even more true in my case since my grandson's paternal grandfather is dead.
I disagree in both cases. I've done my job and should be free to engage as much or as little as I want with any grandkids or great grandkids but it should not be expected. ###### | YTA. You talk about your daughter as being a "job" that you've completed and don't have any obligations to anymore. You don't stop being a parent at 18? Are you required to be in your daughter's life? No, but not being involved in her life gives her every right to view you as an asshole. You ARE free to engage as little as you want with your grandson, but that doesn't mean you're free from being called an asshole for it. If you don't want to babysit, fine, let her know you're not comfortable with that. But viewing her and her baby as a burden to even visit or get to know is of course going to upset her. ###### |
So my daughter (14) recently won a lot of money, £10,000 to be exact. Now she didn't do anything to win this money so you could argue does she really deserve it?
Now my son (23) recently moved away from home, he doesn't have a lot of money and I give him £40 a week to get by.
After my daughter won this money, my son asked her for around £200 to fix his car. She wouldn't give him a single penny of it. I thought that was very harsh given everything my son has done for her, even taking her places she needs to go in that very car, so it was the least she could do. And 200 is nothing compared to the full amount she had.
Anyway, I felt she had to learn that you need to be much kinder in life and like how I taught them as kids to share, I decided to split the money. My daughter has no use for this money but my son does, so I took £5,000 and gave it to my son.
My daughter was furious, with my and her brother. She won't talk to either of us and I'm worried I took it a little far. She wants it back but most of it has been spent. I'm not surer if I should get my son to pay her it back or if I was right and she needed to learn. ###### | YTA. You stole from your minor daughter to give to your adult son. He didn’t do anything to earn it either, why should he have a share?? $10,000 is a ton of money to put away and save for when she’s an adult. Does she have a younger sibling that you can steal from to support her when she’s 23??
YTA. Give your daughter HER money back. ###### |
I have an 8 year old daughter, and to make college more easily accessible for her, my ex wife and I each put money into a shared fund for her. My ex wife and I do not get along, but we make an effort for the sake of our daughter.
At the end of last year, my car basically blew up. Completely blew a gasket, broke down every time I drove it and ended up being written off. My current wife and I decided to save for a new car, and to wait for one I was sure I wanted as I loved my old car.
On my way home from work I drive past a really high end car dealership, basically sells vintage top class cars. They’re absolutely beautiful but I’ve never went in because they’re extremely expensive. A few days ago I drove past it and thought why not, I’ll have a look and just not buy anything. I walked in and saw a truly beautiful Mustang, rang my wife and told her I’d found the car I wanted. We hadn’t saved enough so I used the money from our savings, and without thinking dipped into the college fund my ex wife and I have for our daughter. It was just under $15,000.
I rang my ex wife after I’d bought it to tell her, and assured her I’d put the money back in, but she went ballistic telling me that she’d basically just paid for my car as she puts more money in monthly than I do. I said that was ridiculous and that it doesn’t matter because it’s my money too. She’s now going on about suing me and all sorts which is just ridiculous. AITA? ###### | YTA. You stole from both your wife and your daughter to irresponsibly buy a car you can't afford.
I hope this is a troll, no one can be this dense. ###### |
Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down. The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ###### | YTA. You sound like you don’t appreciate your wife at all. Remember that you get breaks form your paid work; your wife gets none from her unpaid work. What kind of AH expects complete silence from toddlers? Why can’t you invest in noise-canceling headphones? ###### |
At the local grocery store and in line at the deli. Several customers standing around waiting their turn. I go to get a ticket and pull number 27. They are now serving number 21. I step back patiently to wait my turn. They call and wait on No 22, and then 23. When they call number 24 no one steps up. Hmmm. Must have got bored and left. As they are getting ready to call number 25 I step up, drop my ticket, number 27, in the bin, and say. "A pound of corned beef please." They presume I am 24 and take my order. My wife says that I should just let them go on to the next number. Wait my turn. I say that if the next number was alert they would have stepped up before me. What do you think? ###### | YTA. You sound like the kind of person who uses on ramps on the highway to get ahead of traffic and merge last minute. ###### |
I am 30 and basically have nothing in common with a 20 year old but my sister-in-law might be the exact example of the stereotypical self absorbed, iPhone addicted, eye rolling gen z that older people seem to think all young kids are like these days. Shes on her 5th go around with her on-again, off-again boyfriend and is absolutely obsessed with receiving attention from ALL the boys. At any given time when you look at her phone she will have at least 50 notifications (most are messages from boys who are not her boyfriend). She is always talking about all the “hot” boys she wants to go on dates with when her boyfriend pisses her off every other day. About 2-3 times a month she will make plans with us over text and then bail 90% of the time. We have cooked her supper and bought her favourite snacks to watch movies with us several times over the years and she almost always bails and ghosts us.
Anyway it’s fairly odd that she even graces us with her presence but when she does and finally attempts to be an adult I can’t help but be vengeful. She will talk about how she wants to go to school and ill say something like “you know you have to show up and put your phone down when you go to college right” or she will talk about how well her relationship is going and ill laugh and say something like “you will literally be broken up in a month again” and they do break up. She always gets super pissy with me and calls me an asshole. Yesterday she slept in till 5pm after partying all night and came down the stairs while we were having supper and I started roasting her about being pathetic and my wife told me to stop being a dick and that i need to start supporting her more. AITA here? Should i just keep my mouth shut and treat her like a baby like everyone else does or what? ###### | YTA. You sound insufferable. ###### |
I teach high school chemistry, but also a few introductory classes at the college. This occurred in the fall semester. Recently, some other science professors and I gathered for the fourth and were discussing students who weren't meant for college and were obviously forced by parents. I told them this situation, in which I was given mixed feedback on. Some say I'm an ass, some say no.
I had a student, Jane, in my night class. She was very shy, didn't work very hard and was obviously failing my class. Whenever she asked for help she was very clumsy, stammering. I believe she may have had a speech disorder, along with some confident issues.
Halfway through the course, I ask a simple question on an element and call on Jane to answer. She freezes up and doesn't say anything. I hint towards the correct answer, until I'm finally telling her. Most of the class is staring at her now and she whispers can you please stop staring at me.
A few kids snicker. A little frustrated, I blurt out 'They're laughing and staring Jane because it's so absurd you can answer questions on first term material.'
She excused herself to the bathroom, came back looking as if she had been crying and dropped the class that same day. I don't know what happened to her. I was mean, but not over the line. To pass my class you need to be focused. ###### | YTA. You shouldn't publicly shame your students for getting something wrong, you should teach them the right answer. That's your job after all. ###### |
So I’m curious about the general consensus on this. I have a sister in law Jane, who I have a hot and cold relationship with. She can be very judgmental and righteous, but I don’t totally hate her. Jane’s commented in the past that my marriage makes her uncomfortable. Now I was the bitchiest sense of humor, and the first time I really thought my current husband might be *the one* was when I realized literally nothing I said offended him.
I lost a bet the other day, so my punishment was doing whatever he wanted for the day, and since my husband is a complete asshole, I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. Well I ended up in a French maid costume, but still it could have been worse, just bringing him what he wanted, and getting on my knees to profess my undying love (I have serious issues with saying nice things), and lots of massages. Anyway Jane showed up unannounced, which isn’t a big deal in our family, and wanted to hang out while she waited for her son at the doctor.
I explained the costume, but she looked kind of uncomfortable. So my husband just likes to piss me off, so every time I sat down he wanted something else. Jane looked super uncomfortable at this point, but I’m the dumbass who made the bet. Jane finally said she was leaving, and I asked if her son was done. She said no, but we have a gross relationship and this is some weird emotional abuse. I did text her that I was sorry if she was uncomfortable, but my husband maintains that I am not the asshole in this situation ###### | YTA. You shouldn't have let her come in. You should have explained that it was a bad time and asked her to come back later. If that wasn't possible, you should have paused the game. I do not blame her for being uncomfortable. You and your husband are free to do whatever you want in your own home, but once you had a guest, it needed to stop. You included her in your game without her consent. ###### |
Throwaway to maintain privacy.
So I got bored during quarantine and decided to try out some weed lube (with THC in it). I told my boyfriend that I had gotten some new lube and asked if we could try it and he agreed. Side note, the pack it comes in does have a cannabis logo but the bottle itself does not.
Anyway, after sex (which included oral) my boyfriend told me he was feeling light headed and I joked about the lube having weed in it. At first he didn’t take me seriously and asked to see the bottle. When he googled it and found out what it was he unnecessarily flipped out.
Now he’s upset. He says I “drugged” him and keeps using the word “drugged” even after I told him that makes me uncomfortable because didn’t slip him anything and he consented to have sex.
I confided in my friend about this and she’s taking his side on this and saying he could sue for that. I don’t believe this and I honestly don’t see how it’s a big deal. It’s like if I ate pot brownies without knowing they had pot in them. I wouldn’t be claiming that I was drugged by whoever made them.
It wouldn’t have made a difference if he knew and it’s not like he got hurt or I violated him in anyway. Everything was 100% consensual but they’re both treating me like I’m the devil. AITA? ###### | YTA. You SHOULD have told him. If his work requires him to be drug tested he could get fired because of you! You knew that this stuff had THC in it and you used it on him without his permission. If the roles where reversed and you where a dude, youd be lynched for this. ###### |
I adopted my daughter in 2011, when she was 9. I’m an elementary school teacher and she was actually a student in my class at the time. She’d come into school clearly distressed most days, but would always insist she was fine. I couldn’t take it anymore and called CPS on her parents, and fought her custody of her and adopted her a year later.
About a month after her adoption, I had news that her biological dad had gone to prison although I wasn’t told what for, and that her biological mom was headed in the same direction. I told them when I first got her that if they ever wanted contact they’d have to be clean of drugs and decent people regardless of what age my daughter was.
About six months ago i received a message from my daughters biological mom on Facebook telling me she’d really got her act together and wanted to see her daughter. My daughter is now 18, and is a happy healthy and incredible teenager. She’s been in therapy and is doing amazing, and even though her bio mom claims to have her act together, I don’t want to allow the possibility of having her hurt my daughter. I ignored the message and blocked her.
Last night my daughter came to my husband and I and said that her bio mom had messaged her. I confessed to her about the message her mom had sent me and she was seriously upset. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away and said that she thought she could trust me to always be honest with her. I thought I was protecting her but my husband says I should’ve told her. AITA? ###### | YTA. You should have let her make the decision for herself. She had a right to know. ###### |
I have a daughter name RJ who is 10 but due to autism, acts like a toddler most of the time. I homeschool her and try to always treat her equal to other children but sometimes it can be challenging.
She doesn't understand why people get gifts on their birthday, so to keep her from having a tantrum, I make sure to give her a present to unwrap while the birthday child is. Normally it's small so no one says anything.
Before the pandemic we went to my nieces birthday, she's 1e, I brought her a nice gift, but knowing she's getting some big ticket items from her mother and father I bought RJ a large Barbie house so that she could feel special as well when her cousin is opening up a tablet and other toys.
When we got their I placed a gift bag on the table- earrings and dress up necklace for the birthday girl, but kept the bigger one put aside. Got a few funny looks from family but they know why I do it for RJ.
During present opening my daughter opened the gift I gave her and was beyond excited, in her excitement for more she did open up another present- it was the birthday girl's, and as much as I apologized my family scolded me saying a small toy is one thing, but to show up with a big present for RJ and play jewelry for the birthday girl is just rude and they won't allow us back to birthday parties until we stop treating RJ with gifts to, but I feel that that's just not fair.
AITA for wanting RJ to feel included? ###### | YTA. You should have gone with the small gift as normal if you HAVE to get her anything. You could have given her the bigger gift at home and honestly, why on earth didn't you stop her opening another present? Even toddlers can understand that someone else's birthday party isn't about them. ###### |
My husband comes from a big family. His dad was married twice and has five children, and I'll admit it is kind of a tough group to break into but besides one sister, i love his family. Both of my children are very close to their cousins and we go a lot as a family. My son recently got engaged to his girlfriend of two years. We'll call her Jessica.
Like I said they family can be a little hard to break into. His father was a big outdoors man and had this kind of creepy cabin in the woods and the first time I stayed there his siblings convinced me it was haunted. I'm not even that gullible so they went to great lengths there, scared the shit out of me while I was in the shower, and I ran out half naked and crying. After that things got much better and I genuinely love them.
Jessica hasn't spend that much time around the family. My son goes to a lot of things without her, because she doesn't like big groups. Well we went camping recently with two of my husband's siblings and their children. I guess they wanted to initiate Jessica. Now after what was done to me this seems pretty mild, but they told her that my son was looking for her and that he seemed annoyed and he was in the clearing in the woods. When she went to look for him she got attacked with water guns/balloons.
Jessica was very upset and cried. I did try to be sympathetic, but it happens to everyone and I don't feel like she was being unfairly targeted. I tried to comfort her a little, but then I told her that she really needs to get thicker skin because my son loves his family. Well according to my son she thinks I'm an asshole. ###### | YTA. You should have given her some kind of warning here. She's probably nervous as fuck meeting extended family for the first time, and being attacked like that probably made her feel like they hate her. Did she know that the family does this to all 'newcomers'? If not, then I 100% agree with her. If she did, the maybe she should have known something was going to happen, but it's not her fault she was taken by surprise. ###### |
I (22M) am a film lover and my friend (22M) Don made his first film last year. He asked me to be in his film as the lead and I agreed, hes pretty much my best (and only) friend.
So this happened last year but Its been on my mind as Don recently told me that apparently I rlly hurt the feelings of the actress who was in the film.
Basically I was supposed to have a kissing scene with her (21F).
Now sometimes what I do is if I have suggestions or feel something isn't right, I'll just loudly verbalize that while Don is filming. I like to be creatively involved and really envelope myself in what is happening in the story.
Don said he appreciates this and he has often made changes to his works because of my input. On other times,, hes disagreed and continued to do what he wanted which I'm fine with.
So as the kissing scene was gonn happen, I wasn't feeling it. It just felt like the film would be better if there was a romantic tension that wasn't fulfilled but fizzled out so I loudly said "this kissing scene doesn't seem like it vibes with the story". Everyone there heard what I said and actress looked awkward.
Don asked why and I explained that it doesn't vibe with the movie's slow burn and melancholy tone. He said he was having second thoughts about it and agreed. So he cut it.
Well recently he told me the actress felt embarrassed and that she said I was an AH and it made her feel ugly. AITA? ###### | YTA. You should have done the scene to see if it worked and if you still thought it wasn't organic then you should have privately talked to the director and producers about possible workarounds. Instead you acted like an amateur and embarrassed your co-worker during an already sensitive scene. Shame on you. ###### |
I (F24) love my little brother (M19). He’s my best friend in the world. But ever since he became a teen years ago, he's had anger issues. It’s not like he was constantly angry, but when he’s furious, he gets verbally aggressive, hits stuff, etc. We sent him to therapy, but nothing. My dad asks me to talk to him because my brother "worships" me (my dad's words, not mine). But there is literally nothing I can do. I used to tell my dad that I was scared of the day my brother got into a relationship because I think he’ll be abusive. I know that sounds weird to say about someone who means so much to me, but it’s true.
So my brother got a girlfriend (also 19) before all this COVID stuff. She’s staying about an hour away from us right now. She’s got business nearby I guess, so my dad said we should have a socially distanced get together (he’s done this several times with family and sometimes friends where they basically sit across the yard and we have pizza in the middle). I have never actually met my brother's girlfriend, but this is basically the thing I’ve always been scared of. Now I obviously don’t plan on going up to her and saying "hey btw my brother has extremely bad anger issues so be careful" but WIBTA if I talked to her at some point when no one else was around or is out of earshot and tell her if she ever has any troubles with my brother she can talk to me? I honestly can’t think of any good way to possibly phrase it without suggesting I think my brother is abusive. I already feel like an asshole and it hasn’t even happened yet.
EDIT: All good points. You’re right. She has a support system, I haven’t met her yet, I can’t do this with every gf, and I feel weird because it is weird. Thank you for your feedback. ###### | YTA. You should have a talk with your brother instead of his girlfriend whom you’ve never met. ###### |
I (33M) have been married to my wife (32F) for the past 5 years. 6 months ago my wife decided to undergo rhinoplasty (nose job) surgery due to not liking the shape of her nose for several years and also to repair a deviated septum (although the primary reason was cosmetic). I personally didn’t think she needed the surgery and the money could have been better spent, but agreed it was her choice to make.
Here’s where my wife thinks I was the asshole: I was driving her to the surgery and she was getting very nervous thinking about how it could all go wrong. Meanwhile, I was dead tired and it was early in the morning. She caught on that I wasn’t in the best mood and asked how I felt about driving her to the surgery. I responded “To be honest, I’m not looking forward to taking care of you after the surgery”.
She started melting down, telling me I should have told her earlier if I wasn’t willing to support her recovery. I clarified that I loved her and would take care of her, but I just wasn’t looking forward to it since the surgery was elective and avoidable. This did not placate her and she only got more angry/sad. I apologized profusely after realizing how upset she was, but it was kind of half-hearted because I still thought I was right.
Fast forward to the present: the surgery went well, I supported my wife as she was recovering, and life is back to normal. However, my wife still thinks I was the asshole for not being more emotionally supportive of her on surgery day. I think I’m probably the asshole but wanted to post to be sure. So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. You should be interested in caring for your spouse, even if you’re caring for them because of an elective surgery. ###### |
I am, or I guess was dating this girl, Amanda.
We went on a couple dates together, and we decided to have sex today. So, we went to my place and after she tidied up, her boobs got noticeably smaller. I just asked her because I thought she was padding. It’s not like her bra was padded because she was still wearing it.
It turns out she used a prosthetic breast because she had a mastectomy after surviving breast cancer. The thing is, I never knew any of this. She never told me. Safe to say, we didn’t have sex that night and she called me an asshole for pointing her out on her lie? I seriously don’t know why I’m the asshole.
Some of my female friends also said I was being an asshole because I shouldn’t ever say that to a women. They compared it to my dick, which makes no sense. You can’t see dick cleavage.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. You say that you called her out on her “lie” of using prosthetic breasts, but one wouldn’t say that someone using a realistic prosthetic leg was lying about having a real leg. You didn’t know, and it’s ok that you didn’t know, but asking her “why did your tits get smaller” when she’s partially or fully naked and vulnerable really is a dick move. A good general rule is that you should never assume that something that appears cosmetic is purely cosmetic, and you should afford those things the same respect and grace you would give to someone with a condition that impacts their life. ###### |
Let me just preface by saying I live with 5 other people. So, because of this we have different rules set in place to keep the house orderly and clean and whatever else. Some roommates including myself weren’t doing their chores on time. During one of our bi-weekly meetings my roommates wanted to have a rule set in place that whoever is late on their chore or doesn’t do it by Monday at 12 am has to pay a 10 dollar fine (note: I never agreed to this because I don’t always have the funds and it’s a stupid rule if you ask me). That money goes to the house utilities and will be divided so people have a few bucks (not even that much) off the utility bill.
Last night at 9:22pm (time is important because our deadline is 12) I texted my roommate who’s my friend and also the landlords son, that I wasn’t feeling well and asked to do my chore the next morning (today). He never responded so I went ahead and assumed all was good. The rest of my roommates are all saying I’m being a child for refusing to pay. I am adamant on not paying because it’s ridiculous and I legally shouldn’t have to pay any extra money than I already pay for for utilities and other things. I also want to add that I just lost my job and need to save all the money I can save as well as I did the chore as soon as I woke up the next morning.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. You say in the first sentence that you don’t do your chores on time. The fact that people in the house felt the need to issue a fine for chores not being done shows that this has been an on going problem and talking and reminders aren’t working. I get that you were feeling sick that night but this isn’t a one time off and you’re the one who left doing your chores until late that night. Show some respect for the people you live with and do your chores on time or pay the fine. ###### |
Let me just preface by saying I live with 5 other people. So, because of this we have different rules set in place to keep the house orderly and clean and whatever else. Some roommates including myself weren’t doing their chores on time. During one of our bi-weekly meetings my roommates wanted to have a rule set in place that whoever is late on their chore or doesn’t do it by Monday at 12 am has to pay a 10 dollar fine (note: I never agreed to this because I don’t always have the funds and it’s a stupid rule if you ask me). That money goes to the house utilities and will be divided so people have a few bucks (not even that much) off the utility bill.
Last night at 9:22pm (time is important because our deadline is 12) I texted my roommate who’s my friend and also the landlords son, that I wasn’t feeling well and asked to do my chore the next morning (today). He never responded so I went ahead and assumed all was good. The rest of my roommates are all saying I’m being a child for refusing to pay. I am adamant on not paying because it’s ridiculous and I legally shouldn’t have to pay any extra money than I already pay for for utilities and other things. I also want to add that I just lost my job and need to save all the money I can save as well as I did the chore as soon as I woke up the next morning.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. You said yourself you hadn't been doing your chores on time already, and then you left it until 3 hours before the deadline again.
You don't have to agree with the punishment jar, but you should have come to consensus beforehand. Did you actually disagree to it and make it clear you wouldn't contribute? If so, did you offer an alternative? Because it sounds like you and some other roommates aren't holding up your ends of the cleaning agreement and the other is just trying to get people to do what they're supposed to. ###### |
One of my best friends is getting married and my girlfriend was invited to the bridal shower by another best friends gf. My gf is from another country and did not know what a bridal shower was, I briefly explained it to her. She is not good friends with any of the girls but gets along fine.
Fast forward a week and she now has to work on that day(sunday). She texted me asking me to now text the woman who invited her telling her she cant make it. This is a day before the shower. I told her she should text her herself as that may come off as rude. She became very angry and said why do I always make her feel like a bad person for no reason, and that she doesnt have the womans number. I simply said that you could just ask me for her number and that's that.
I was just looking out for her to not come off as rude, and selfishly I want the other woman to like her in the group. Our friend group is very tight and the girlfriends/wife's can get clicky. We have been together for 3 years. AITA? ###### | YTA. You said she’s from a different country and was confused on the basic concept of a bridal shower. She obviously doesn’t know the customs. And since you said she’s not close to any of the girls (doesn’t even have anyone’s number) she was probably too uncomfortable to text them herself. And if you thought that was rude, you could always send her their number and a text you think she should send. Instead, you made her feel ashamed when she came to you for help ###### |
My nineteen year old daughter has been home since the schools shut down and everyone’s nerves are just frayed from too much time together. My wife is having issues with her family, our son just got married without telling anyone and we think he made a huge mistake, and my wife has been under a lot of stress.
My daughter died her hair pink last night and when my wife saw it she started to cry. She was not crying over the hair. If it wasn’t the hair something else would have triggered it but my daughter could not let it go. She kept harassing my wife about why she didn’t like the hair. My wife said she was going to bed and locked the door and my daughter was still going on from outside the door. I told her to grow up and stop acting like a fucking idiot and now she will barley speak to either of us. ###### | YTA. You said it yourself: your wife is not crying because of your daughter's hair, she's crying because of stress, so why are you taking it out on your daughter?
Obviously communication is a huge issue in this family, with your son not telling anyone about his marriage, your wife unable to talk to anyone clearly about her stress and now you're unwilling to tell your daughter to back off without insulting her.
What a mess.
Edited to make it clearer that OP stated that the wife was crying because of stress & not the daughters hair. ###### |
I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years and we have two kids. I’ve always had the impression his mom didn’t like me but she’s never said anything. His mom was wealthy on her own and probably made on the higher end of six figures. She’s been with her fiancé for about a year and a half and I think he might be a millionaire. He bought her a Birkin for her birthday and I’ve heard that those can cost tens of thousands and when the pandemic got bad he somehow got them to his vacation house on a helicopter even though the area was supposed to be closed off. Honestly it kind of grossed me out how someone can have so much money when so many people are struggling.
He proposed while they were in quarantine and I only know what the ring cost because he asked my boyfriends sister to help him pick it out and she couldn’t believe the price and she kind of has a big mouth. This ring cost more than most people make in a couple years. I literally can’t get over the fact that someone would spend that much money on a piece of metal. They’re home and we saw them for the first time in a few months and when we left my boyfriend said I was the only one who didn’t say congratulations. He feels like I’m being an asshole but I don’t see how she can wear that ring and not care that people are struggling and her grandkids are struggling. ###### | YTA. You resent them because they're rich. You can't make decisions about your own money, but withholding congratulations from your BF's mother because someone gave her an expensive gift is really petty and meanspirited.
>her grandkids are struggling.
Is that the real issue? That you think you BF's mother should give you money? ###### |
We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts.
At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such.
When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint.
I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options.
I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals.
The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid.
The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit, my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ###### | YTA. You quoted "lower her head" as if it was insulting, I am wondering if you know what that means? She wasn't saying "lower herself" as if she's better than you. To put your head down means to be determined to get something done, or to focus. You TOTALLY projected your own jealousy/insecurity on this 15 year old girl. ###### |
Throwaway account.
My best friend had asked me if I was available one night and if I was could I pick her up from a party as she didn’t have a lift and felt really uncomfortable being in a uber or taxi late at night. I said of course I would pick her up.
Later that night my boyfriend texted me asking to hang out. So we did. I totally forgot about my friend and it wasn’t until I looked at my phone and saw her various texts and missed calls. She got home safe in the end because her BF brother woke up to pick her up.
I apologised a lot and she seemed to have accepted the apology but her texts were really dry..?
My bf said that she shouldn’t have been drinking if she knew she didn’t have a lift home and that I shouldn’t really worry about her lack of responses...
AITA in this situation? ###### | Yta. You owe that friend big time. ###### |
A long time close friend of mine recently came out to me as gay (important to mention I am also gay), he mentioned that it was probably internalized homophobia that took him this long and that he is still working it out. I felt delighted for him and offered to be there for when he felt like telling other people. He said it would be something he would do imminently, but to keep it to myself for a while.
A couple months pass and he still hasn't told anyone but me. Our friendship is complicated and I had a crush on him when we were younger (he is aware of this). As I reflected more on him, our relationship and his behaviour, I remembered some of the homophobic things he'd say with other members of our friend group. It was predominantly stuff that would be considered "locker room" talk like "thats gay" or calling me feminine and the more I thought about it the more pissed off I became as he knew what he was saying would hurt me. Its even more fucked up that he is gay too. There was nothing internalized about that past behaviour.
Anyway he recently came up in conversation with a couple friends and I decided to tell them that our mutual friend came out to me. They all reacted really positively and were so happy for him. However, he eventually found out about this and is pissed and has cut me off without an explanation. Am I totally in the wrong here? ###### | YTA. You outed him without his permission. ###### |
Earlier today, I had orientation for a new job. It was basically just a candy store in a local mall. It's not much, but I figured that it would beat my dead-end call center job. Me and a small group of other new hires arrived and were given a basic lesson on customer service and handling the cash register, but then came a moment where the manager called a 10 minute break while he set up our next lesson in another room in the back.
Us new hires just hung around and I decided that since I was on break, I could get a quick bite to eat. There was a Wetzel Pretzel right beneath us on the lower level of the mall and I decided to run there really quickly. One of the new hires told me that that wasn't a good idea, but I told him that we were legally entitled to a break. I ran off and tried to be quick in getting a bag of pretzel bites and a lemonade.
But when I returned, the group was gone and I had to find what room they were in. I knocked on the door and the manager showed up and asked me where I went. I told him that I was just getting a snack while on break, but he said that it "wasn't those types of break". I tried to get into the training room with my pretzels and drink, but then the manager said that it's probably best if I go home. I admit that I didn't look my best. I had spilled a little cheese on my shirt and my fingers were covered in grease, but I was still wanting to continue with the orientation. But the manager said that I just can't wander off like that and that I should take my food and home.
It was embarrassing. The other new hires saw the whole thing and some of them were laughing at me. I just think it weird that the manager called a break, and then acted all shocked when I behaved like someone going on their break. And now it looks like I'm out of a new job. AITA? ###### | YTA. You only had a 10 minute break; it's entirely unprofessional to run off and get a greasy food item. You embarrassed yourself. ###### |
My wife went into labor around 6 pm on Sunday. We were expecting twins.
It quickly turns into a very painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed and nearly sprayed my shirt with vomit.
Around 3 am my dad calls. I work for my dad’s company and we had a presentation for clients Monday morning that I had to get ready for.
My dad heard my wife was in labor but told me he needed me on this presentation. He said there was nothing I could do to help my wife and delivery and seeing the baby come out was overrated and people don’t prepare your for the gore.
He said he needed me to rest up and make myself presentable for the presentation.
My wife’s labor was progressing very slowly and we were all certain she would need forceps or other assistance to deliver the babies.
I realized that I couldn’t help her here, and my dad was counting on me, so I told her I needed to leave.
She started screaming at me so loudly that a few nurses rushed over to our room.
I ended up doing the presentation with the clients and things went well.
I leave the office and see a text on my phone that said my wife delivered an hour ago at around 10:30 am and they had to use forceps.
I would have missed the meeting had I stayed and my dad has given me everything he could possibly give me in life, so I didn’t want to let him down.
AITA? I had responsibilities I had to take care of and while my wife is still screaming at me saying that she was alone when they “ destroyed her body”, I’m the only one who works and her mom herself said that she was emotional and overreacting.
My wife even went as far to say that her family would disown her if she was the first of them to divorce but that she doesn’t consider me her husband right now. ###### | YTA. You never leave a women in birth. Especially because she was giving birth to twins.
YTA x 1000 for “it quickly turns into a painful process she kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed...” way to make it about you.
You expected your wife, a first time mom from what it seems, to naturally birth twins in a couple of hours?! What the hell? ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and we decided to move in together. Since she already owns a house, I moved in with her.
Before I moved in, I made it clear that I rather it just be the two of us in the house and that I didn’t want her son to continue living with us. She was pretty blasé about this and was like “yeah, yeah, he’ll move out”. Her son is an ADULT, but he lives with her because she more or less enables him. He’s not a NEET, but he is very lazy and seems to take advantage of his mom
I moved in a month ago, and her son is still there. She told me to “see” if I felt comfortable living in the house with him. At first, I tried living with her son. But honestly, I hate it. I just want to be able to sit on the couch and be intimate with my girlfriend without a grown ass man walking in. Plus he is just a little asshole and expects his mom to do his laundry and wash his dishes, even though he’s grown.
I told my GF I don’t want to live with him any longer and she started to cry, saying she wanted to get him out the house for a while and that she’ll talk to him. At dinner yesterday, he “confronted” me and said GF never brought this up before me... but I was just empowering her to say how she’s been feeling for a while. My GF is very sensitive and beats around the bush, and she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she’d wanted him to move out. We argued, and he called me an asshole and other profane things while I tried staying calm and reasoning with him.
My GF has no idea what to do, and she’s bad at picking sides so I wanted to make this post to help her get more perspectives. I might be an asshole for “separating” a grown man from his mom, but I also think I’m just helping my GF. AITA? ###### | YTA. You moved into HIS house too. Just because he is an adult does not make it his home. If you do not like living with him, move your ass out. You are a grown ass man too. Be an adult here. ###### |
Soo as many of you have been doing in these times, I’m currently doing work from home. I have a wife and two toddlers (twins). I need silence to work and I don’t have a home office (we are in a smallish apartment, just enough room for the four of us). It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus but even if they are trying to be “quiet” I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning etc.). I got fed up with it and told my wife off, I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything. The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay at home mom and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up. If I don’t have complete silence, I cannot work and therefore could lose my job. My wife on the other hand doesn’t appreciate any of it. When I wasn’t working from home she would ask me to do chores after work and take care of the kids when I am obviously very tired needing to wind down and relax for the night. Then when I’m off on the weekend, I’m still expected to help out. I would remind her that that’s her job as a stay at home mom, but she refuses to listen to me because “it’s my kids and my home too”. It hurts that she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially, if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have a roof over our head, or food to eat. But despite me voicing my feelings she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expect me to work more afterwards. My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down. The worst part? She claimed that *i* don’t appreciate *her*. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered. ###### | YTA. You might be the biggest one I’ve read this week.
Your wife certainly works harder than you do. Maybe if you’re making so much money you should just buy some noise canceling headphones and not be rude to the woman you married and raises your spawn. ###### |
Today I was hanging out with my girlfriend for a bit at my place, and a friend of mine stopped by to help me out with something while she was making food.
Me and my girlfriend have a very playful relationship and joke around all the time about anything and everything.
As my buddy walked in, I told him my girlfriend was over and he asked where she was. I told him that she was in the kitchen where she belonged, making me a dinner. He laughed, and then I proceeded to yell over to my girlfriend quote: “You hear that _____? I told so and so you’re in the kitchen where you belong, making me a goddamn dinner.”
Well looks like that joke may have went a little too far because she ended up yelling at me, called me a dickhead, and left with the stove on. My friend kind of just stared at me in silence. I was confused out of my mind. We joke all the time and that seemed to set something off I guess.
I’ve tried contacting her to apologize but she hasn’t answered. I’ll try again tomorrow when things are more cooled off hopefully. I didn’t mean to offend her, it was just a playful joke like ones we’ve made before.
So tell me Reddit, was I the asshole here? ###### | YTA. You may have a joking relationship, but bringing your friend into it is probably what pissed her off. ###### |
So my dad found this little Jack Russell at a building he was planning to buy and brought him home to be ours (his). He's still untrained so he mostly stays outside and only comes inside if whoever brought him in keeps their eyes on him. This morning I was watching a movie in the living room with my sister when she got a call from her boyfriend and went outside. I continued watching the movie and only saw the dog when he was sniffing his way into my sister's room. I tried shooing him but that didn't work well since he doesn't have a name yet and isn't responsive, so I called my sister's name twice and she just hushed me with her hands and closed the door. I yelled once more that the dog was in her room but she mized so I gave up and continued watching the movie. About ten minutes later my sister comes back and starts screaming from her room. Turns out the dog fucked up her duvet, her bag, and a broke this sculpture thing she made last year. He also left the room in a mess but that was mostly cleanable. Now she's blaming me for watching the dog go in her room and not doing anything to stop him. I told her I called her but she's and mom are still maintaining that it's my fault. Dad's luckly on my side since I did warn her. AITA? ###### | YTA. You made a half-assed attempt to warn her, that's not the same as actually warning her. Most people assume that if something is actually important, you'll press after they wave you off. You also could have gotten up and physically moved the dog outside again, which I'm betting you would have done if the dog had gone in your room. So you were a jerk to your sister, and you were a jerk to the dog for not correcting his behavior. Training a dog is a family effort. ###### |
My best friend and I are the type to always pull pranks on each other, it's just how our friendship formed and we always get a kick out of it.
For example, he once invited me to a party and told me to wear a costume and when I got there, it was normal attire. I laughed after the initial embarrassment, and like I said we are comfortable enough to do that to each other.
He held a wedding this past weekend, (socially distant, everyone was spread out and it was entirely outdoors). In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I told my girlfriend to wear white as it was expected all the women would wear it. She was reluctant but I told her that it was just a quirky thing the bridge and groom were doing, so she said "ok" and bought a white dress.
When we got to the wedding, it was standard wedding attire and my girlfriend was mortified. When my best friend saw what I had done, he was cracking up and joked "I guess you two are getting married instead of us!"
The bride was pissed off and made a huge deal out of it. Normally she is really chill so I was surprised by her anger. My friend even tried to calm her down and told her it was just clothing and it doesn't change anything.
Now I feel incredibly bad by what happened. I really didn't think it was a big deal. I personally think this is being blown out of proportion but I don't know. ###### | YTA. You lied to your girlfriend and you took your best friends fiance's attention away from her on her wedding day. That's not a prank. That is a deceptive, manipulative asshole. You ruined two innocent people's day on something that didn't actually prank him at all. ###### |
I(25) have a girlfriend (23). She most of the time refuses to leave me alone and will not give me time to myself . Whenever i come from work , she'll always sit with me till dinner and won't let me play video games or watch TV in peace. She would insist on coming when i meet my friends .I've requested her many times to give me some private time. So one day i told her i was going for a business trip to Paris (we live in Nice). Actually me and my friends had planned to go to Zurich and hang out at the house of a friend who lived there.I told my girlfriend to go to her parents house which was nearby till i came back. We reached Zurich and enjoyed the first 3 days of our trip till she found out that i was in Zurich through a friend who accidentally posted it on Instagram and forgot to hide it from her. Now she is mad at me and when i returned she made me sleep on the sofa and refuses to speak to me .AITA? ###### | YTA. You lied to her so she has the right to be upset. If she’s as annoying as you claim, break up with her. I personally could not date a needy, co-dependent person either. ###### |
My boyfriends parents divorced when he was in middle school but they never really got over each other and they both cheated on multiple partners with each other. The mom ended up getting pregnant from the last round of cheating and his dad left his fiancé to get back together with her. They both think it’s funny that they destroyed lives and they are super boastful about their affair baby. My family and childhood were torn apart by adultery and I hate cheaters.
The day of the hurricane we got a really bad storm while my boyfriend and his dad were out. I don’t live there but I was over that day and unable to leave because of trees falling down. She went into labor while they were out and I did call 911. The operator asked me to stay with her but it was freaking me out and I didn’t want to. She was crying and asked me not to leave her and to get her a pillow and help her sit up but I felt uncomfortable so I locked myself in my boyfriends room. She was freaking out and I didn’t know this at the time but my boyfriend was born with the chord around his neck and she was scared if the baby was she wouldn’t be able to get it off.
The ambulance got their eventually but I guess she passed out at some point and they ended up delivering the baby in the living room. She says that I’m an evil psychotic bitch and I’m never allowed in her house again or to meet her daughter but my boyfriend feels that I was in my rights not to help. ###### | YTA. You left a woman who was in fear for not only her life, but the life of her baby, alone on the living room floor. You don't have to like someone to provide emergency help, even if it was "freaking you out and you didn't want to."
You're lucky it worked out OK. It very well could have led to two dead people. ###### |
I threw a customers silicon wedding band in the garbage and all hell broke loose
So I was at work and I found this wedding band on the ground in the afternoon and decided to keep it on the cash register. Come the next morning I see it’s still there so I just decided to toss it. A few hours later mr dude comes through asking if anyone had seen a band and my staff knew that I’d found it yesterday and were all looking at me like where is it. I then responded and said “I threw it away.” Pointed at the garbage can and walked away. They expected me to look through the can and I had to be talked to like I did something wrong. I’m an adult if I lose something I don’t expect the world to find my lost item. My job is cashier not lost and found warden or dumpster diver. And also how do you lose a wedding band when it’s strapped to your finger. I really don’t feel bad but am failing to see the reason everyone was so upset with me. Dude lost his ring it got thrown away. Tough shit dude. ###### | YTA. You know your job also involves being polite to customers, right?
It was a ring, was it really torturing you by existing in your space? What was the rush to throw it away? ###### |
The title makes it sound a lot worse but basically I was in a bad mood the day it happened and she happened to ft me. She was asking me loads of questions and I was just frustrated is all and I just snapped. I didn’t say anything rude I just responded in an annoyed tone. She hung up shortly afterwards and I could tell she was crying.
Afterwards I apologized but she’s still annoyed with me.
There’s been times where she’s snapped and apologized and I’ve been cool with it but I feel like the one time I did it she overreacted.
For a bit of context her past relationships were very abusive so I think it brought out some bad memories.
Aita? ###### | YTA. You know that she has an abusive past, and yet you’re saying that she overreacted to you snapping at her. People getting annoyed at you comes across very differently when you’ve been abused. She didn’t overreact, you scared her. ###### |
Yesterday I was supposed to spend the night at my friends house with some of my classmates and we were playing truth or dare. There really is no reason for us to choose truth since we already know a lot about each other so we mostly went just with dares. It was pretty fun and we had some weird challenges.
I was staying next to my friends brother and when it was my turn a classmate challenged me to kiss him. His sister immediately told my friend to change the dare and so she did. To be clear, her brother did not say anything when he heard the dare and just laughed so he definitely looked like he was ok with it right? Well WRONG because after I kissed him he told me wtf I am doing and looked like he was really grossed out by it. I was honestly a bit offended and asked him why he is so grossed by me kissing him, I am actually a pretty ok looking girl and even if I wasn’t, there was no reason for him to act like this. He ended up leaving the game and my friend told me that what I did was wrong on so many levels and to get out of her house. My other classmates didn’t say anything so I think they were on my side but didn’t want to participate in this argument (I will ask them when they go back home). Anyways I did end up leaving. Do you guys think I was the asshole here?
Please do NOT comment yet, read this:
Ok I don’t know how to explain this without being misunderstood but could you guys do me a small favor? I used a throwaway account for privacy reasons but the thing is, if this post blows up, there is a high chance for my friend to still see this. Could you please instead of commenting, DM me if your judgement is ‘YTA’? I promise if I get a lot of YTA dms I am going to ACCEPT the judgement as per rule 3 but it’s just weird if my friend sees this and sees ‘YTA’ comments especially after our last argument, you guys get what I mean right? Thank you. ###### | YTA. You kissed someone without their consent and you were "honestly a bit offended" that they weren't thrilled about it?
Ask yourself how you'd feel if a boy touched you without consent and they were annoyed that you didn't like it. ###### |
Throw away for obvious reasons.
I know the title sounds bad but bare with me!
I had my son when I was 19 and my daughter when I was 21.
My daughter is now 19.
My daughter was raised mostly by her grandmother for the first five years of her life because I worked full time as did my children’s dad, we had to so we could support them.
My children’s grandmother was never affectionate and my daughter picked up on that and she’s never been interested in hugs etc; I remember twice that I’ve hugged her, both times she was in hospital because she was sick.
My son is overly affectionate; he throws himself too fast into relationships and they often don’t last because of it.
My daughter is the opposite of him and she lacks any affection; she won’t kiss or hug her girlfriend, even holding hands in public is off the table and I’d think maybe she’s worried about homophobia if she wasn’t like it with everyone else.
She’s been dating a girl for the past year but unfortunately this girl cheated on her.
Unlike her brother, who when he got cheated on spent a month in bed crying, she’s seemed to move on instantly and doesn’t seem upset but then she asked me why I thought her girlfriend cheated on her and I told her the reason above, people like affection and feeling like they’re special and she didn’t do that.
Now she’s refusing to talk to me, not unusual for her because and I quote “talking is unnecessary” (she rarely talks) for her but my husband is extremely angry at me for not just comforting her, I told her the truth as she asked for it. ###### | YTA. You insinuated that it was your daughter’s fault that her gf cheated. While your daughter’s resistance to affection may have contributed to driving her away, her gf is still 100% at fault here. ###### |
I (M18) have been with my girlfriend (F17) for two years now.
Throwaway
My girlfriend is black and I am white.
I love her so much and her curly hair, I really love the way my finger gets looped in one of her tight curls, it's really cute.
Her and I are planning to get married and have children one day, so I thought I should study up on different hair types my future daughter/son might have. I want to make sure I'm able to take care of/do it.
My girlfriend usually puts relaxers and straightens her hair. That's her choice, but I found out while I was studying hair types is that can be bad for her hair type if done excessively (which she does). I told her about this, and she replied with "I know what I'm doing, my mom did this to me as a kid."
I really wanted to explain to her that is was bad and I've seen images of damaged curly hair. She still didn't listen to me, so I hid the straightener from her (I know, that was a dick move).
She told me I was being controlling and I shouldn't have a say in how she does her hair, which I would agree if she wasn't actively damaging it. She told her friends and now they are calling me an asshole.
Am I? ###### | YTA. You have no right to tell her how to do her hair. You have no experience with black people hair yet you’re going out of her way to tell her how HER hair works. ###### |
I have to make a short PSA video for a college project and I felt that my voice doesn't have that "announcer" feel to it. So I asked one of my friends to do it, he's done voice acting work for minor video games on the side so i figured he might be able to emulate the voice I want for the video.
So I asked him about it and sent him the script, which is **literally only 30 words** and he gave me a quote, which I honestly couldn't even afford. First of all, I don't think it's in the budget for the video. Secondly, holy shit it's only 30 words. It takes literally a minute to get the recording, at most.
So I just told him dude just do me a favor. It's just 30 words, and he starts laughing at me and calling me cheap. If he wanted a favor from me that only takes 1 minute and barely any effort then I'd do it for free, no questions asked. But he just said I'm being stupid.
I ended up doing the voice myself but I feel like he was being unreasonable. ###### | YTA. You have no respect for you "friend". He doesn't owe you his time or his voice. It's literally his job and you expect him to do it for free. You are cheap. If you want higher production quality then you need to pay what it costs. Otherwise do it yourself. ###### |
This all came out because one day last week my wife and I happened to go through the same drive thru for lunch. I didn't see her but she saw me and parked near my truck. That is when she called me and saw me pick up my phone, look at the screen and send it to voicemail.
She got upset because I screened her call, but I do this with everyone and not just her. However, she feels that since she is my wife it's different and I am being an asshole by ignoring her calls. She says that since she doesn't call often unless it's important and we have kids I should pick up unless I'm truly busy. Her argument is that it could be an emergency and I'd never know (she could always text or call my workplace so I don't think this is a good argument).
I don't agree at all with her view that I should pick up unless I'm busy. For one thing I believe a lunch break counts as being busy. I don't like to be bothered while I am eating, and I don't think there's anything unreasonable about wanting to relax on break. I also disagree with her claim that she only calls me when it's important. There have been plenty of times where she's called me about trivial things or to shoot the breeze. That's fine but I don't always want to talk. Sometimes I just want to focus on whatever I'm doing or not doing. She may not value relaxation time, but that doesn't mean it's fair to discount it.
I could maybe see her point if I never responded, but eventually I do call her back or respond. I just don't always do it immediately.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You have kids. You need to answer your wife’s phone calls no matter what. Learn to say “oh you want to repaint the living room? Oh what color? Actually can we talk about this when I get home from work? I’m on my lunch break.” ###### |
I have HSV-1, the virus that typically causes cold sores in over 50% of the population. I sometimes also get it down there, but it’s the same virus. I went on a date with a guy I met on bumble last night. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Yes we used protection. I wasn’t having an outbreak, so chances of passing it to him were slim to none. Usually I tell people I have herpes before sleeping with them, and they usually don’t care. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything this time around, I was feeling embarrassed about it. So am I the asshole for sleeping with him without telling him? ###### | YTA. You have an STD. Slim to none is still a chance. If you’re gonna be irresponsible and not tell someone that you have herpes then stop sleeping around. ###### |
I'm a shift lead at a fast food joint.
Here's the deal, I have this worker, Shannon (18f) who is on the shy side. I'm not saying she's ugly but when compared to the other girls working, eh, lets just say she doesn't get a lot of attention. It's Saturday, it's busy, I have 3 cashiers and Shannon running food and bussing. We're running low on certain ingredients so I send her back to the kitchen to prep. In the kitchen I have my cooks, all guys. There's Joe who is known as the crew's asshole. He can be mean, jokingly, but it goes too far sometimes and we managers gotta step in and redirect him. I wasn't thinking anything bad would happen. I thought Joe would be too busy cooking. Peaking in on the kitchen every few minutes Joe is cracking jokes about Shannon right in front of her. I tell him to focus on his work. I don't know when but 30 mins in I find Shannon in back crying in the utility closest. Most days I'd take her to the side and talk to her but most days we aren't getting slammed and I'm getting chewed out by customers. I ask her simply if it's because of Joe's comments. She says yes. I tell her okay, either she gets back out front, we discuss this later or she can leave and take a write up. She tells me she just needs 5 minutes. No. I need her out there now and seeing as she wasn't doing anything I tell her to get out.
I discussed it later with both my store manager and assistant manager. Joe is getting a write up and talking to but we also came to the agreement Shannon will be getting one as well for leaving early.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You have an employee who is known for being inappropriate and unprofessional who harassed another employee who is known for being a little sensitive. Instead of being understanding and letting her gather herself for literally five more minutes, you give her an ultimatum? So she's not only missing out on the pay for the rest of her shift, she's also getting a formal write-up. You obviously didn't need her that badly that quickly if you sent her home! She didn't "leave early;" you kicked her out. Jobs like these have such high turnover rates for so many reasons, but a lot of them boil down to too much pressure without enough pay and lack of appreciation and basic decency. I've worked fast food during rush shifts and the attitude and example of the manager greatly affects the mood and work ethic of the whole establishment. Smh... hopefully Shannon can find something better soon or at least gets a manager who knows to step in and actually shut down harassing behavior. (It's not "jokes" when it comes to work btw.) ###### |
My ex and I were together in 2014 and we split because I made a mistake and cheated. He ended up getting with another girl so I went over there to get my things and it escalated a little and a tv was broken. She left him after that and we got back together in 2018.
Some other things happened and we split again. Now here in 2020 I was looking on his Facebook and saw he was getting married and had a baby on the way. That really hurts me as we had two miscarriages together and now he’s having a child.
So I called him five times in a row with no answer. Well about five minutes later a call comes up with his name. However it was a woman who asked me what I wanted so I told her I was coming back to my house to get my things that I left. She questions me how long we have been separated and I tell her a few years but I still have things at the house. She tells me that I’ve had time to come get the items and that (fiancé) says that there is nothing there for me and if I step foot on the property that the police will be called and that I have no business coming to their house.
It was my house with him. I told her I have every right to come get my things even if it’s been a few years. They are still my items. I told her to mind her business and I’ll just talk to (fiancé) when I get there and she says “no you won’t, you’ll talk to me and a police officer, don’t call him again.) and hangs up.
I called my family who tell me that I’m the AH in this situation and to leave them alone but I called him to go get my things not talk to some girl he knocked up and moved in. AITA? ###### | YTA. You had years. The only reason you want to go to the house now is create problems because you're hurt she is pregnant. You should seek mental help. ###### |
Ok. AITA or not?
My girlfriend (21 years old F) had a german shepherd. She got him when she was very little, so they’ve grown up together. When I met her the dog was old and having some health issues.
A few days ago I went to her house to pick her up and noticed that the dog was in bad shape. He couldn’t stand up and was panting. The poor thing was clearly in pain and was not going to make it. I told her to put the dog in my car and we drove to the vet.
The vet said he could save him but he’d need medication and specific care for the rest of his life. That’s not quality of life, plus it was expensive. My girlfriend said yes and we left the dog for the night so the vet could treat him.
It just doesn’t make any sense to me. The dog was like 13 or 14 years old, and my girlfriend doesn’t have the money to care for an elderly pet. I called the vet later and asked him to put the dog to sleep and to be discreet about it, I didn’t need my girlfriend to suffer anymore, if she thought he died overnight at least she had the peace of mind that she tried everything in her power to save him.
But now my friends are telling me that it was a very controlling thing to do and I had no right to chose what was right for her dog. I understand that it’s not my pet, but my girlfriend was too upset to make the difficult but right choice. Heck, we even had a small funeral for her dog and she seems fine. Like she has a weight off her shoulders.
But now I’m afraid they might tell her and she’ll take it the wrong way. I’m thinking of telling her myself first, at least she’ll hear it from me.
AITA???? I just wanted to avoid any more suffering for her. ###### | Yta. You had no right to do that behind her back. Whether it was the “right” thing to do. What a huge breech of trust and disrespect towards her. You’re a huge asshole. ###### |
We had a new part time girl in our warehouse, a teenager, 15. She very soon becomes popular with us as she's hardworking, pleasant and sometimes give out snacks and small gifts.
At first I like her too but recently during a casual conversation she brought up that she her family is actually quite rich, that is why she could afford gifts and such.
When someone asked her why is she even working here when she could easily find other part time jobs that doesn't require as much labour and pays better, she answered that she worked here because she wants to train herself. She said that she wanted to prove to herself and her parents that she is a capable person if she could "lower her head down" and do "this kind of job" without a single complaint.
I am not sure what other people thinks, but to me I sense an undeniable arrogance in her speech which triggered me off. Not starting a sob story but I am definitely not as privileged as her and the reason I am working there is because I had no other options.
I kind of snappishly told her that she shouldn't be flattering herself. She is not "lowering" her head because she isn't any better than us, like, in terms of education level we are the same, if not just a little higher than a 15 year old right now. I told her that if she truly wanted to train herself she should start by thinking of us as equals.
The conversation ended in an awkward tone as she got red and walked off. The girl did not turn up later at all and she has actually gone home and quit the job without bothering to get paid.
The other colleagues said that I am being too harsh on a teenager who has a positive mentality and instead of encouraging her, I was a bitch. I admit, my words slipped and I was indeed bitter for a moment, but I do think that she needs to know that we are not inferior, and we should nip that thought in the bud. If it made her quit the job it just means that she doesn't have what it takes that she thought she had. ###### | YTA. You got jealous because she's rich and decided that she must also now suddenly be an arrogant brat. Nothing you've stated she said even implies that she thinks she is better than everybody. ###### |
We have four kids: ages 11, 16, 17 and 21. We're also expats of 5 years (Sweden to Canada).
We've always lived in close quarters, we just couldn't afford an apartment with rooms for everyone. So our 11 year old daughter has shared a room with us for most of her life. We've always tried to quarter it off a bit with a separator.
Last year my two middle children (m/f) were deadset on going to "High School" in Sweden. My parents (their grandparents) live in Sweden and were willing to take them in. My eldest son moved out years prior, so that left just our youngest with us. At the time we were living in a three bedroom apartment.
When they moved out we let our youngest daughter have her own room, and she was ecstatic. This was her first time having her own room. After around four months, due to rent increases and since it was just the three of us, we decided to downsize to a two bedroom apartment. Our daughter visited the apartment with us and loved what would be her new room.
Shortly before we moved apartments (after signing the lease) our son (17m) had a change of heart about High School and wanted to come home. This was before the Coronavirus, but he'd been abroad for about 3 months and wanted to come home. Since he is the oldest we thought it'd make sense for him to get the second bedroom, and for our daughter to share a room with us again.
When this happened our daughter was upset, and requested to sleep in the closet to maintain her own "room". So that's where she's been, her mattress was able to be squished in there.
This somehow came up around a friend of a friend, and she gave me a look and told me that this was unfair and "severely inappropriate". I asked her what she meant by this, and she just scoffed at me.
Am I an asshole for this? ###### | YTA. You gave your daughter the bedroom. You can't take it back now.
>Since he is the oldest we thought it'd make sense for him to get the second bedroom
That's unfair on the 11-year-old, who will never not be the oldest, and has spent more than a decade sharing a room with her parents. You've asked a lot of her.
I can't believe the poor kid is sleeping in a closet. I know you don't have much money, but I think you need to size up, even if it means moving further out. ###### |
we had been talking online for a couple of weeks, she seemed like a cool person and we seemed to get along really well. I drove about 20 minutes to go pick her up. As soon as she stepped in the car the Vibe was way off. She wouldn’t really speak, and I felt like she was sort of ignoring me while constantly texting on her phone. We got to the movies, picked one out, and settled to watch our movie. I asked if she wanted anything to drink or some popcorn and she only half heartedly gave a noncommittal no while still mainly on her phone. Right as the movie was starting I had the idea of just taking off. I didn’t want to settle for a 2 and a half hour long movie with someone who I knew there was no future or connection with. Under the false pretense of me going to get some popcorn, I left. I went to the front counter and got my ticket refunded for my movie and drove home. If someone does not seem interested in you That should be it, and I figured that because we were so close to her home she would be able to Uber home. AITA? ###### | YTA. You gave her a ride and then stranded her there without telling her. It's one thing to want to end a date, it's another to just leave without telling them and expecting them to find their way home. ###### |
I (F24) love my little brother (M19). He’s my best friend in the world. But ever since he became a teen years ago, he's had anger issues. It’s not like he was constantly angry, but when he’s furious, he gets verbally aggressive, hits stuff, etc. We sent him to therapy, but nothing. My dad asks me to talk to him because my brother "worships" me (my dad's words, not mine). But there is literally nothing I can do. I used to tell my dad that I was scared of the day my brother got into a relationship because I think he’ll be abusive. I know that sounds weird to say about someone who means so much to me, but it’s true.
So my brother got a girlfriend (also 19) before all this COVID stuff. She’s staying about an hour away from us right now. She’s got business nearby I guess, so my dad said we should have a socially distanced get together (he’s done this several times with family and sometimes friends where they basically sit across the yard and we have pizza in the middle). I have never actually met my brother's girlfriend, but this is basically the thing I’ve always been scared of. Now I obviously don’t plan on going up to her and saying "hey btw my brother has extremely bad anger issues so be careful" but WIBTA if I talked to her at some point when no one else was around or is out of earshot and tell her if she ever has any troubles with my brother she can talk to me? I honestly can’t think of any good way to possibly phrase it without suggesting I think my brother is abusive. I already feel like an asshole and it hasn’t even happened yet.
EDIT: All good points. You’re right. She has a support system, I haven’t met her yet, I can’t do this with every gf, and I feel weird because it is weird. Thank you for your feedback. ###### | YTA. You feel weird about it because it's an inappropriate thing to do unless you totally want to tank his relationship for no reason. Presumably she already has some kind of support system that can help her if she ever needs it but preemptively doing anything like what you're suggesting is way over the line. ###### |
I have a step sister, We are both the age of 16. So today I was in the room with my girlfriend watching a movie, Then she just completely bust open my door and starts yelling at me in front of her “You fucking idiot! Learn how to put the toilet seat down! Omg you are so dumb” then storms out my room. I was so embarrassed that she did that in front of my girlfriend.
I waited for when my girlfriend to go home, Then I went in her room and asked why did you do that in front of her? You could’ve waited, it was no need for you to cuss me out in front of her. She just ignores me texting on her phone, So I snatch her phone and say “You dumb bitch why would you embarrass me like that?! I would never embarrass you like that if you were hanging out with your boyfriend. BEFORE you sit down on the toilet check dumbass, it’s not my fault” then I dropped her phone on the floor and left her room. I don’t see how it’s my fault she should look before she sits down on the toilet. ###### | YTA. You embarrassed yourself, and you need to learn to control that anger mate. That's not even nearly a good enough excuse to talk to someone like that. Also I know this is a controversial opinion, but 3/4 uses of a toilet is sitting (women peeing and shitting, and men shitting vs. Men peeing) so in my opinion you should put the seat up, like putting a lid back on a can after using it. Your sister was a bit of a dick, granted, but you're being the bigger dick here (so technically ESH) ###### |
Throwaway cuz said friend uses reddit.
So I’ve known my friend B for about six months now. We met at work and we get along really well. She’s new to our company and from what I’ve seen, she’s a really good worker and fits the job well.
The other day she invited me over to her place for a girls night. I agreed and came over. About a couple hours into the night, she said she was going to drive to the store to get some popcorn and wine for movies. This confused me, as she’d told me before that she has seizures. I asked her about this and she said she’s fine to drive because her seizures don’t impact her consciousness. I said okay, she went to the store, came back fine and we had our girls night.
I seriously didn’t believe her when she said her seizures didn’t impact driving. I’ve seen people have before, they are not pretty, and they certainly impact consciousness. I’ve never seen my friend have a seizure, though I knew what seizures looked like and I knew she wasn’t safe on the road.
So I reported her anonymously to the DMV. A couple weeks later she called me in hysterics, saying her license had been suspended. She was panicking because she needed that license to drive her hour commute to work.
I honestly didn’t know what else to do besides tell her what I did. I told her she shouldn’t be driving with seizures. I told her I’ve seen seizures before and I know that there’s no way someone with seizures can drive. She called me an ignorant a-hole and said not all seizures are so debilitating. Now she’s not speaking to me, and today I heard my coworkers say she’s been laid off.
AITA for reporting her? I was honestly trying to keep her safe. ###### | YTA. You dont know her medical issue and you are not medically trained to make assumptions. Even so you have no proof that what she goes through impacts her driving.
Not all seizures are what we see on tv... ###### |
Throwaway because I post about work on my main. I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship, and my husband and I have been together for 3 years. While their relationship isn't bad, they have never been able to bond as a father and son, and so my son tends to give him a lot of pushback.
My husband has a large collection of figurines, which he has been collecting since high school. They vary in value, some are quite expensive, but all have sentimental value. Most he keeps in his office, but a few he keeps on display around the house. My son knows they are not toys, but over the last couple months we keep having to remind him as he keeps trying to play with them.
Last week my husband found a figurine in the wrong spot, and confronted my son about it. My son denied denied denied he had touched them, until he eventually broke down and confessed he had played with them. My husband decided that grounding my son was a good course of action, and since I want my son to recognize my husband's authority, I agreed. My son needs to learn that when my husband tells him to do something, he means it.
Unfortunately, this punishment overlaps with a camping trip my ex had planned with my son. When I informed my ex why my son was no longer able to attend, he was livid. He said my husband had no right to punish "his" son, even though I am his mother and agreed with the punishment. My ex is accusing me of trying to keep our son from him, since this would have been the first time in 3 months they have seen each other. (My ex lives on the other side of the country and travel restrictions meant he was unable to visit.)
My ex kept calling my every day begging me to change my mind, and my son has refused to talk to anyone all day, as today is when they were supposed to leave. If I take back the punishment, isn't that just encouraging bad behaviour?
AITA? ###### | YTA. You don’t punish a kid by taking away time with his father. If he’s going to be grounded, fine, but he should be grounded with his dad. Time with his dad isn’t a treat to be taken away. ###### |
During my childhood my brother was way more successful and attractive than me, I wasn't too attractive when we were younger I was chubby with acne scars and I was also short though now I'm 5cm taller than him at 180cm. I suffered a lot because of this, however, during school girls would pretend to be interested in getting to know me only to want to get with my brother, I had a crush on a girl who did the same and that's when I decided to ignore him forever they ended up dating for all of HS.
Anytime he was interested in a game I was playing or something I'd tell him to get lost, and eventually, he gave up and we just stopped talking to each other which didn't impact me at all. I went to university and studied nursing in a different state and I really flourished I was good at it and enjoyed caring for my patient's work placement was my favorite components of the course. I also started lifting weights and training MMA and even had a few girlfriends
I moved to the UK from Australia after a couple of years on the job and lived in London where I met my wife. Now we live in Scotland since she wanted to be closer to her family since our daughter was born, recently I got on a Zoom meeting with my mother since I work 4 on and 4 off and have nothing to do. And my mother asked if I would like to go on a zoom meeting with her my father and my brother another time and I said no thanks since I've been doing pretty well without him in my life.
My mom got angry and said she knows I had a hard time but I have to grow up and let go of my bitterness I doubled down and said that ever since he has been out of my life it's been nothing but better and it could regress by allowing him in my life. She said I was a being an Immature jerk and logged off, I told my wife what happened and she agreed with my mother and said I was being immature. If more than one person said so it's got me wondering AITA? ###### | YTA. You don’t mention anything about your brother actually doing anything to hurt you/your feelings, only that other people were using you to get to know him. You can’t put the blame on him for that, in my opinion. ###### |
My cousin (17m) says after he graduates from high school he wants to be a navy seal. I laughed my ass off when i heard that becuase he's at least 80 pounds overweight and he can't even do a single pull up, nor can he even walk up a flgiht of stairs without getting winded. He is too out of shape to even join the airforce.
As I was laughing he asked why i thought it was funny and i explained to him that there's no way he could join any military branch with how out of shape he is. He says im an asshole and I told him he needs to be realistic as there's no way the world's most elite special forces are going to elt him join if he can't do a single pushup. ###### | YTA. You don’t laugh at people’s dreams if you love them. The goal he set for himself would, of course, mean he had to get in shape. He’s not stupid. He knows that. He was telling you that he wanted to turn his lifestyle around, and you responded in just about the cruelest way you could.
I hope one day he does achieve his dream, and I hope you start to self-reflect. ###### |
So this happened pre corona, around January. My sister hasn’t spoken to me since then and I honestly feel like she’s dragging this out. All because I wasn’t on her side during the divorce.
So what happened was she attended a work event with her husband. It was a party and everyone brought their spouses. She was pregnant so she wasn’t drinking. Her husband got pretty drunk and she saw him and another coworker flirt, her exact words were “His hands were on her waist and her hands were on his lower thighs”. They were dancing really close and whispering to each other smiling. My sister got upset and left the party in tears.
She went home and and packed her bags and called me asking if she could stay with me and wife for a few weeks as she gathered herself together as she was planning to divorce her husband. I told her to calm down and she told me the full story and I told her that she’s overreacting and pregnancy hormones are why she’s pissed.
I don’t consider this cheating and it’s something they can work through. To divorce other this? He was dancing with someone else. That’s not that serious. Plus you can’t just crash at my house for a few weeks because your husband smiled at another woman. She started crying and said I’m a horrible brother and she wishes our parents weren’t dead. I told her not to manipulate me and she blocked me.
It’s been so long and we haven’t spoken. She’s had the baby and she’s separated from her husband and she lets my wife and daughters come see the baby but not me. Was I really that wrong? If it was physical cheating then I could’ve understood but her story just isn’t enough for such a drastic reaction in my opinion. ###### | YTA. You don’t get to dictate why someone leaves their spouse. Your sister needed your help and you just left her in the lurch to fend for herself. What you think about her reasons for wanting a divorce is completely irrelevant. You’re a bad brother. ###### |
My dad (65M) and I (35F) used to be really close. My mom was a surgeon, so my dad was the one to pick us up from school, make us dinner, help us with homework, ect. I married my husband (36M) five years ago.
My dad is also a physician, and I can tell when he's entertaining guests because he has a distinctive bedside manner. It's polite and laid-back, but there is nothing of substance and I know he doesn't think anything he's saying is important. For the past five years, he hasn't had a single real conversation with my husband and I. It's all polite bullshit, and my husband doesn't believe me because he's never heard my dad have an actual conversation.
Last week, we visited my parents, and my husband mentioned some investments he was thinking about making (that I know my dad thinks is a bad idea, because I've heard him give a 2 hour diatribe about why its a shitty idea before). When he responded, "That's really interesting, it sounds like you've put a lot of research into it", I lost it and called my dad out for not saying what he actually thinks, even when it can affect us financially.
Later he pulled me aside, and he raised his voice with me for the first time since before high school. I asked him why he doesn't treat my husband like family. He told me that's not a decision I get to make, and that my husband is a guest and he's being polite. He also told me that I don't get to dictate what he feels comfortable speaking about and to who. That made me feel really bad, and my mom got upset at me for "embarrassing my dad for no reason". Now, I'm second guessing myself, but I also feel like its his fault for not actually caring about us.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You don’t get to control other people’s feelings or relationships. Your father treats your husband respectfully, and that’s all that matters. Why are you so intent on destroying the relationship they do have just because it isn’t fulfilling your needs? ###### |
My daughter recently told me that she was a lesbian and I was disappointed in her. She's always been super passionate about gay rights and seems to not like men and stuff so I always suspected that she might be gay but every time I've asked her if she was gay she either said "no" or "I don't know". She said she knew all along so I'm mad that she lied to me and kept secrets from me. She says she doesn't owe me anything but I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know. I think I have a good reason to be offended that she doesn't trust me and I'm not actually mad that she's a lesbian but the fact that she hid it from me. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. You don't have a right to knowledge of her sexuality. She is the only one who gets to determine when and how she comes out.
>I'm her mother and I think I have the right to know.
You don't.
That is her private business. You pushing her to come out may have made it take even longer. ###### |
I have a 20 year old daughter. Shes always struggled badly with her mental health, all stemming from her dad passing away when she was 7. The way she’s always dealt with this is eating. Last year she went through a stage where she’d stay home from university simply to order a McDonalds, and this happened every day without my knowledge. Somehow she’s not massively overweight, just a bit podgy.
I also have a 17 year old son, and they get on really well. My son eats the entire house and puts no weight on and is an avid gym goer. Quite often he’ll ask my daughter if she wants to get takeout, and most of the time she says yes.
Last night he asked her if she wanted to get a dessert from a local dessert takeout. She, of course, said yes and ordered an XXL Brownie Waffle and a huge bottle of full fat coke. When it arrived I took the coke and told my son to tell her it hadn’t came. He told her I had it.
She storms downstairs all guns blazing and demands I give her the coke. She’s shouting and asking why I think it’s okay to tell her what she can and can’t eat. We get in a huge argument before she storms back upstairs. About ten minutes later I go upstairs to go to bed, and she calls me into her room. She says “you do realise I’m 20 right, why do you think you can dictate what I eat” and I, out of pure frustration, said “because if I didn’t you’d just keep going and fucking going” and walked out. She kept calling me to come back but I didn’t and went to bed.
I’ve woken up to her having taken the handle off her door so I can’t get in and not talking when I ask her to open it. When I text her asking her to eat she replies “oh I didn’t realise I was allowed to eat now” and just being snarky. I was just trying to protect her from herself. AITA? ###### | Yta. You don't get to dictate what an adult eats. Also, i n f o, what did you do for your daughter to help with her grief and lack of self esteem? ###### |
Earlier this year we sat down and had a talk about marriage. It's something we both want, and we agreed that we'll get engaged sometime before the end of the year. I was very clear to my GF that it will happen this year but would not give her a more specific time frame than that because I want it to be a surprise when it happens. She was fine with that as long as we get engaged this year. That's all that matters to her or so she said.
A couple of her friends recently got engaged which is when she started pressure me to propose sooner rather than later. I told her I was still in the process of planning things, which is true, and she'd have to wait. From that point on it seemed like every day or every couple days I was getting aggressive hints about proposing.
It eventually got out of hand and so last week when she again did this it upset me enough that I got down on my knee and started saying things that made it sound like I was going to propose. I sort of intended it to be sarcasm, which is often how I express frustration, but it didn't come across that way. She started to get excited so I quickly stopped and told her I wasn't proposing but that she needed to stop rushing me.
She thinks what I did was really cruel but I don't see it that way. I see it as a poor attempt to tell her to be patient but not anything way out of line. ###### | YTA. You don't fake a proposal to teach a lesson about patience. That IS cruel, and now when you actually propose, it will be accompanied by a little tug of doubt on her end if this is actually real or another prank. ###### |
I have a 8 year old son who has an awful stutter. My wife used to have a stutter but grew out of it so we've been hoping for the same but thought it would be best if we just got help with it. My wife organised it and was suggested a Mr Timothy 'Surname'. All we knew was that he was good at his job and was 31. Awesome, got the ball rolling and his first session was this morning. Doorbell rings, I open the door and I see what's presentable as a 'women' with a bit of a facial hair wearing a suit (only saw the facial after he took of the mask). Peculiar but doesn't concern me so I asked if 'she' was sent in behalf of Timothy or if 'she' was here for another reason. That's 'she' said he was Timothy with a straight face. I paused cause I expected a bit more clarification but eventually my mind rebooted on its own and I figured that he was probably trans and still transitioning. Invited him inside and introduced him to my son who was a bit taken a back but was still good and I left them. They worked for an hour and then he was off. Spoke to my son and he was extremely confused and asked me all sorts of questions about him and whether or not he was girl etc. Which I tried to explain but my son just kept nodding like he did when he was just confused so I asked if he wants another therapist or not and he shrugged then walked off. I took this as a polite yes so my wife looked for someone else and I called Timothy and told him we appreciated his services but we'd found someone else. The guy was really cold over the phone and went "mhm" the whole time and called us assholes before hanging up (on his defense, I'm sure he said it while hanging up thinking we wouldn't hear). So yeah, aita? ###### | YTA. You discriminated against that man. Plain and simple, you committed a transphobic action against a perfectly capable person.
Your child never said he was bothered by the man, never said he wanted a new therapist, he was just confused and asked a question. And because you couldn’t figure out how to explain it “properly” you decided to withdraw your business?
Let me ask you this; if he was confused by how the bus worked, would you not take him on busses anymore?
If he was confused about the relationship between his mother and father if he saw you being affectionate, would you tell your wife you could never touch in front of him again?
If he was confused about how tv worked, would you never watch tv again?
Face it, he asked you questions about a type of person he had never encountered before, and all you had to do was say, “A trans person is someone who had the body of a man/women and is changing to become who they really are.”
He may have had follow up questions at another time, which you could have answered. There was no need to remove the therapist from your sons life when he could have really helped him. You just didn’t want to have to explain it, and help him understand that there nothing strange or wrong about trans people. The first impression you’ve given him subconsciously is that transitioning is not something that should be around him or be discussed, and whether or not you meant it that way, you’ve still been incredibly discriminatory. ###### |
I (19F) have been in lockdown at home ever since my university sent everyone home. A lot of my followers were interested in what i was up to so i started documenting my life in lockdown with videos.
Before corona I landed a big internship with a big company. People wanted to know how that was going so i started recording my meetings and one-to-ones and posting them on my site along with updates on what i've been working on.
One of the videos got really popular and my boss found it. He says I betrayed his trust and I shouldn't come to meetings next week until the issue is sorted out.
AITA for making videos of my own life? ###### | YTa. You didn’t make videos of your own life - you made videos featuring people who didn’t give you permission to do so. Yeah, you’re the asshole and likely to be an unemployed asshole pretty soon. ###### |
I'm not sure why I'm so disappointed. I think it's because whenever I used to think about my wife being pregnant I imagined her with an adorable big bump, really glowing and looking pregnant.
She just passed 32 weeks and it's so small, which is kind of surprising because I'm a big guy. She is very petite but I still expected our baby to big bigger than this. If she wears an oversized shirt and poses right you can barely tell she's pregnant. You can't tell at all from behind.
Lately she has been complaining because she feels so "big" and I commented without really thinking that she was so tiny compared to a lot of other pregnant women I've seen. She didn't believe me and thought I was trying to be nice and reassure her, and I said that actually I felt disappointed because of how small she was.
I'm not sure why she got upset. If I had said she was big or getting huge I could see. She acts like me saying she is tiny and barely looks pregnant is some sort of commentary on how well she is growing our baby, but that's not the case at all. I feel like most women would be thrilled if their partner said they were so small. But apparently I am the asshole? ###### | YTA. You didn’t give her a compliment, you said that you’re ‘disappointed’ that her bump is so small. You’re telling me that you told a highly emotional and hormonal 32-weeks pregnant woman that her having a small baby bump is somehow her fault and disappointing to you???!! Do you see how you sound here???? Or do I need to go on about how you sound like such an AH. You’re not the one pregnant, lugging around the extra weight that she is feeling, you don’t get to tell her that you’re ‘disappointed’ ###### |
Recently bought my first car, owner said it was in pretty good nick and well looked after. He had it serviced about 1k kms before selling so I don't doubt he thought it was in good condition. Check engine light turned on on the way home (in less than 10mins of driving). Had it checked, NZ$2500 of repairs. I told the previous owner and tried to open negotiations with him, however he sold the car to pay off the deposit on a new car so he isn't in a financial position to help me at all, not that he offered. I'm currently filing for a dispute to have my NZ$3144 returned to me and for him to take the car back, but he also has a wife and two kids at home, so I have no idea what this will do to his financial situation. Then again, I shouldn't have to pay for the repairs on a car that isn't in the condition he said it was (car is undriveable, brakes could go at any moment). I also wouldn't be able to afford repairs for another four months, meaning I wouldn't be able to use the car over my summer break from University which is the entire reason I bought the thing.
AITA for taking the previous owner to court to get a refund? ###### | YTA. You didn’t do your due diligence and it bit you in the ass. ###### |
Throwaway because my roommate uses Reddit. Anyway, this past weekend I moved with my gf into a new apartment with a friend of mine. I've moved a few times over the past couple years and I hate it every time. Now that I'm doing a little better in life I decided to hire movers to avoid some of the hassle of the larger items. My gf and I moved all of our smaller stuff (books, clothes, linens, etc.) over the course of the past couple weeks but I needed help moving all of our larger stuff so I hired some movers.
We picked up our moving truck and met the movers at our old apt. That's kind of where I ran into the predicament. We hired two movers and when they showed up, one was a female. I normally would be totally fine with this but I had already moved all of the smaller stuff to the new place and was mostly looking for help moving the big stuff like our couch, dressers, bed, etc.
I felt like I needed to spot her going up and down the stairs with the heavy stuff and it kind of negated the main reason I hired movers: saving time and worry. She didn't end up dropping anything in the end but it took some of my attention away from moving other stuff on what was a very hectic day moving two different apartments into one. I paid the two movers the same amount ($150 for 3 hours of work) and then this is where I got into an issue with my gf. I paid the male mover a $30 tip and the female mover a $20 tip.
My gf was pretty irate but I felt it was justified since I had to spend extra time worrying about the mover dropping anything during the move. She says I should have still paid them the same.
So I turn it over to you guys, AITA? ###### | Yta. you didn't HAVE to do anything. You chose to be a close minded human and assumed a woman you've never met before couldnt do somethingq simply because she is a woman.
Edit: OH and you penalized her for YOUR bias and insecurities when she did NOTHING wrong AND did the same job as the other mover. I hope you apologize to her and make it right. ###### |
So my gf often says her dad is her best friend. She adores him. She has dinner with him a few nights a week. She won't make plans with me on those nights unless I join them. She does weekly classes with him, she goes on...dates with him to the beach or to movies or just stuff at least twice a month. Again cant make any plans with her on those days. She'll even go with him to go shopping for his clothes. She tells on He needs a woman's eye.
They're super affectionate. Shes always holding his hand or putting her head on her shoulder, or cuddling with him. He's the first person she tells anything about her life too. Got a promotion? She has to tell her dad, got into an argument, she has to tell her dad. If she needs advice on anything she goes to her dad.
I once asked her if she loved her Dad more then me and she didn't want to answer me. I made her answer she said she did love him more then me. That boyfriends can come and go but he would always be there. That he's the one she would cry to if I broke her heart. I got pissed at her and said her obsession with her dad was creepy and unhealthy.
Im tired of being second place to him. I'm tired of feeling like shes having an affair with her dad. Im tired tired of competing with him for her time and attention. I'm tired of feeling like her dad is the third person in this relationship. I tried to talk about this with her but she just shut me down and told me in no uncertain terms she'd never let a bf come in between them and if I had a problem with that I could walk. What 24 year old girl is bff with her dad? That just seems so weird to me. It just seems to me she would rather just date her dad. Obviously my GF thinks I'm an asshole now. AITA? ###### | YTA. You deserve to come after him in her life. He clearly understands, cares for and makes her happy better than you. Instead of getting to know him better since he's so important to her, your first instinct is to destroy one of her main sources of joy and pry them apart. Stop being jealous and selfish, the situation really isn't about you. ###### |
Me and my girl went to grab food. While we were heading there I got a call from a friend that I also do some gigs with. I'm ordering food while still on the phone. Some times passes and we take our food to go home. I tell her let's just eat in the car because I'm still on the phone. Eventually 30 minutes passes by the time I finish my phone call. We were just sitting in the car eating, really don't see nothing wrong with that.
She seemed irritated when I got off the phone but didn't express her thoughts until we got home. Told me I put work over everything and everyone sometimes and that It can frustrating and draining to people close around me. She even said that she wasn't the only one to notice. That even my mom said that to her. Which I doubt, because she has never told me that personally. Why wouldn't my own mom tell be something like that?
After hearing that, I understood sometimes I do go overboard but then I felt like she was disrespecting me. Not in a blatant way but in subtle way. That's when I said "you didn't complain when we went on a new years trip last year, you don't complain when I pay for your food, you didn't complain when we decided to get a nicer crib to stay in." Then not to expect anything and act like me working hasn't benefited her and raised her expectations in life.
She was most definitely hurt, not even speaking to me but so was I by her comments. I work to put myself and other ones in a better situation. ###### | YTA. You couldn’t put off a work call for a half an hour so you could have a meal together like a couple?
And now you’re whining about how “disrespected” you felt when she called you out on behavior you’ve barely, grudgingly admitted was disrespectful to her in the first place?
Sounds like you’re due for a breakup.
Chin up, though - not everyone is relationship material. The world needs people like you to show others what they don’t want in a partner. ###### |
Hi guys, been working up the courage to post this shitstorm for a while now, but here goes. I (16F) have a brother (21M) called Sean and we were raised in a pretty typical Christian household. We both were made to go through church school and Confirmation and all that, but we both stopped going to church after Confirmation because we just didn’t care for it too much. Both still consider ourselves Christians, just a bit lazy with it and maybe somewhat agnostic? Anyway, my brother has never had a girlfriend and he’s in the military now actually, so after high school he never really had time for one anyway. Our family always assumed he was straight since he had crushes on girls in high school.
I was taking with my mom—she’s pretty homophobic, but she’s always said she’d never kid her kids out or do conversion therapy for being gay, just that we would unfortunately be going to hell but she’d still love us. The topic of gay marriage came up and I was getting annoyed at her homophobia and was saying stuff like, “so what would you do if me or Sean were gay?” She got all quiet and kept asking me if he was gay or said he was—at first I said “no, can you just answer question though?” She kept on asking me like “has he ever said anything to you???” and I just got fed up and lied. I said, “yeah actually, but he was too afraid to come out because of your homophobia.”
Conversation ended, she called Sean and asked him about it. Just like in the sitcoms, it ended up being one of those situations where you expose yourself because you thought the person already knew the secret. He was like, “how did you know I was gay?” Mom said I told her. I was obviously shocked, because I had no idea. I explained to him that I didn’t know and was just fucking with mom, but he won’t talk to me now. I get why he’s mad, but it was an accident. I wish he were just mad at my mom for being homophobic and not me, but I guess it’s complicated since I still outed him.
Anyway, AITA? ###### | YTA. you could’ve just left it as “what would you do if i was gay” and not brought your brother into it especially when it sounds like you suspected he might be gay. joking about someone’s sexuality is never funny or okay, *especially* when you involve parties who aren’t fully supportive of all sexualities. more so, using someone’s sexuality just to “annoy” someone (as you said in your comments) is beyond wrong. even if he wasn’t gay, this would’ve been wrong.
you have (likely) seriously hurt your brother and you need to give him space to reach out when he’s ready. you caused this, you have to accept the consequence of possibly irreparably hurting your relationship with your brother.
edited to add: a response to one of OP’s comments. ###### |
Hi, this story happened a year ago, before the pandemic. Basically me (20f) and a group of friends went on vacation on Malta for two weeks. In the group there was this girl (18f) who was a friend of a gay friend of mine (20m). Since we were 4 girls and 3 boys we booked two rooms with 4 beds. Now, I knew from the start that the girl was a lesbian, but I didn't think that It would have been a problem for me, until we had to share the room. I swear It, I tried to act as if she was just like the other girls, but I couldn't help but feel unconmfortable with her around when I was showering or changing dresses. So I asked my friend of he could tell her to move with the boys because us girls were feeling unconmfortable with her around. He watched me like I suggested to kick her from out hotel or something but he said ok. And the girl moved. A couple of days later my friend sent me some screenshots. They were from a LGBT+ themed group on whatsapp. The girl wrote a rant about what has happened and there were TONS of hateful messages thoward me(the names were censored) I asked my friend why did he sent me those messages and he replied that he thought I would have found them "funny". I said that It was terrible and hurtful for me and he should reconsider being friend with this kind of people. He told me to relax and that no One knew which one of the girls asked for her to change room so I was safe. He also added that I "kinda deserved It". I lost my cool and I told him to f*ck off. He replied with a middle finger emoji and blocked me. I don't talk with either of them since then. But last week I was talking about this to another friend Who wanted to know why did we stop hanging around together and She told that I was a Little bit of an asshole. What do you think. I've never been homophobic thoward them, I Just didn't want to share a room with a person Who Is potentially attracted to me ###### | YTA. You could've just changed your clothes in the bathroom? Also just because she's lesbian doesn't mean she's comfortable to change clothes in front of the boys, so that is basically what she had to do after changing rooms and you could've done as well if you felt so uncomfortable around her. ###### |
Hey guys, I know the title sounds horrible but bear with me please.
I (23M) have recently started using Tinder. In the beginning it was just for fun because I was bored. I had no expectations from it and no intentions of really meeting someone. I matched with a couple of girls and started texting with some of them, but it was usually just a small talk and it never became anything serious.
About two weeks ago this girl texted me on Tinder. She looked a bit chubby and I don’t know why I swiped right, because that’s not really my type. Nevertheless I texted her back (probably because I was bored) and we started chatting. In went on for days and we really clicked. We had a lot in common and were texting almost every day, I was genuinely exited about her. We were talking about our friends, hobbies, family and pretty much everything. This went on for about two weeks and I asked her to meet in person. She was a bit shy and hesitant, but in the end we agreed to go on a dinner together.
I made a reservation in a nice Italian restaurant in the city centre and we were supposed to meet there. I came about 5 minutes earlier and she came right on time. When I saw her I was a bit shocked, because she looked a lot different in reality. In her pictures she was a bit chubby but in reality she was straight up fat (I don’t know if she used old pictures, or photoshopped her body or if she just took the pictures in in right angles). She looked exited and started a conversation, but I just couldn’t. I told her that I expected something else, apologized, paid for my drink and left.
When I came home my roommates asked how my date was and I told them. We had a pretty heated debate about this, because two of them thought I was a dick for leaving her like that just for having a couple more pounds and the other one though I didn’t do anything wrong.
So what’s your opinion guys AITA? ###### | YTA. You could of still enjoyed a nice meal, a few drinks, and possibly good company/conversation. Then ended the date and parted ways. You could have even offered to go dutch if you were didn't want to pay for everything.
I know big girls may not be what you were expecting or attracted to, but like she is still a person who probably was very nervous and put time in getting herself ready. ( For girls sometimes getting ready can take hours)
Was going home to your roommates complaining about her better than, enjoying some food and conversation? ###### |
All this Started over a simple mistake I made at a party, One thing lead to another, and I had sex with this girl. I was already dating a girl but I just got carried away at the party. The guilt came to me later on I couldn’t stand looking at my girlfriend and knowing what I did, So I had to talk to someone, and that Someone was my older sister. She Was the only person I could trust.
When I told her she was completely shocked, She thought I was joking. Then once she realized that I wasn’t joking she started to freak out, and said “You need to tell her, Or I will, I love you and all, But what you did is disgusting. Mom raised you better than that.” I told her she is not ready yet and she doesn’t need to know now. It is to much for her. She immediately called her and told her I tried talking the phone away from her, But she ran, and locked herself in the Bathroom, and her boyfriend made me life.
When I got home she was in the living crying, God I felt so bad. I just made one mistake now things are over. She asks me “is it true” I couldn’t lie to her no more I had to tell her it was the right thing to do. Soon as I told her “yes it’s true” she broken up with me. She left me to be alone. I couldn’t believe my sister just told on me like that, how could she just throw me under the bus like that? I was so heart broken, How could my own sister do this to me? Then I got to thinking if I can’t have happiness why should my sister? Why does she get to keep her secrets away from her partner?
So I called her Boyfriend and told him about the abortion she got before they were together, he kept asking “is this true why would she keep this away from me?” I simply told him “Go ask your girlfriend why” later that night I get a phone call from my sister, she said she never wants anything to do with me and it wasn’t my place to him that, But it wasn’t here place to tell her that I cheated. Life is so crazy ###### | YTA. You cheated on your girlfriend and tried to minimize it. Fyi, cheating is not a “mistake”, it is a conscious choice. You betrayed your girlfriend destroyed your her trust. You should have told her immediately. Your sister was right to call you out on it. She should have given you more of a chance to confess instead of calling her immediately but she was rightly horrified by your attitude. Good intentions, bad execution. You on the other hand, weaponized a secret out of pure spite. You WANTED to break her heart because yours was broken, even though it was your own fault. And that’s gross. ###### |
So me (31M) and my wife (23f) have been together 3 years, married close to two. We started living together shortly before getting married, and she was super messy. Even before we moved in together house was a total mess. According to her family, they never taught her to clean so she doesn't know better.
It always got on my nerves, but she gradually got less dirty so it was whatever. Well we had a baby recently, and during the pregnancy she actually started to clean here and there. I'd usually comment on it like "wow, you're actually cleaning!" Or something of the sort because it was actually a shock.
Now, the baby is here and she's recovered and she's actually cleaning a lot every day. The other day she started sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming right after having breakfast, and cleaned the kitchen and the kitchen table then did the dishes. I said something like "man, I can't believe you're actually cleaning. I guess you finally decided to grow up and stop being a child now that we have an actual child" she got pissed off and told me to go fuck myself, then went to the room and ignored me pretty much the rest of the day. That was 4 days ago and she barely will talk to me and hasn't cleaned at all since then. So now I'm wondering AITA? ###### | YTA. You can just say the kitchen looks great. Or thanks for doing the dishes. Without sarcasm. Or you could say the kitchen looks great, is there anything I can do to help? ###### |
We were having a conversation with soon-to-be parents and I said something to the effect that you love your kids more than life. Later my asked me about it and I said, yes, I love our 8yo more than anything in the world. She said "so i guess I'm also not the love of your life?" I told her honestly she was not. My son is. The love I feel for him is 100x stronger than the love I have for her. She cried and went off about how she feels the opposite. ###### | YTA. You can have different kinds of love for those in your life. Are you still going to love your son 100x more than your wife in ten years after he's moved out and he's an adult man? And you're living an empty nest with your wife? ###### |
Me (34f) and my spouse (34M) have been together for several years, always talked about having kids. But tbh the current situation due to the virus that won’t be named has made me completely change my mind. Our dogs wake me up before my alarm daily to be fed and now that I WFH I’m ALWAYS around them. It’s exhausting. I can’t imagine kids being worst bc it’s already at the bottom. Even tho having kids has been my spouse’s dream, I just can’t any more. I restarted my birth control last month and I haven’t told him yet. Honestly, I don’t really feel like I need to tell him (we don’t consult each other on starting/stopping other medications). We just got kittens, too so the terrible twos are around the corner. I really feel like I’m getting the parent experience from our pets anyway. We’ll revisit the kids conversation at some point, but I feel like it would be better to wait until after quarantine. AITA for deciding not to have human children and restarting my BC? ###### | YTA. You can absolutely start birth control at anytime you want and decide you no longer want children at any point but making this decision while being married to a person that you know wants children and not telling them so they have a choice to stay in the relationship is wrong. ###### |
So I’m in college, and in the US we have a program called ROTC at most colleges and it’s kinda like a fast track to commissioning into the military. To be in the program, there are pretty strict physical fitness and BMI requirements to go further than halfway through the program.
Last month on of my friends from high school told me she was thinking about joining, and asked me for my help about planning her schedule around it. In the program, we have physical training 3 mornings a week which, for someone who doesn’t work out regularly, could be very intense. So I warned her that if she wants to join, she needs to start working out, eating right and losing weight. The exact words I texted her were, “So our workouts can be pretty intense for people that don’t ever work out. So you need to eat a lot healthier than you do now and start regularly working out so you can slim down, because your BMI is probably too high right now”. And she left me on read. I texted her to ask what’s up and still left me on read. I hadn’t heard from her until last week when our mutual friend texted me telling me that I needed to apologize to her. I of course asked why and she told me that I had really hurt her feelings. I felt bad but I told the mutual friend, that I told her what she needed to hear and what she needed to get into the habit of changing if she was serious about joining. Am I the Asshole? ###### | YTA. You came off as massively condescending. If she flunks out of the course because of the physical requirements, then that's on her. She doesn't need your attitude weighing her down. ###### |
I (17f) was a bitch in middle school and first 2 years of high school. I admit it. I’m not proud of it, I don’t really even have an excuse for it. There was one girl I was really bad to... she was fat, weird, and kinda obnoxious but she’s cool now. and she and I recently got assigned to work in a partner project together.
We were FaceTiming and she was being weird. Everything I said she would just respond with “mhm” and she was barely talking. I asked her if she was ok, and she said “working with you? Not really”.
I asked what she meant, and she said “I’m still angry with you”. I said “are you seriously still hung up on how I treated you 2 years ago?” She said yes, how she was “dealing with binge eating disorder and her shitty mom” and how I “made things a thousand times worse”. I said it’s not like I could have known any of that, and it would be easier for her if she could just forgive me.
She got angry, said “you’re still a fucking bitch” and hung up.
AITA for saying that? She was being annoying. I was only 11 when I started being mean to her and I stopped 2 YEARS AGO but she still treated me like shit. ###### | YTA. You bullied her for what, 3-4 years?? She owes you nothing.
Also- you mention that you stopped, but did you ever actually apologize? Even if you did, she still doesn't owe you forgiveness though. ###### |
My oldest daughter is expecting her first child with her partner. She, I think, overshares when it comes to her pregnancy, but it's not my decision so I don't say anything. I see most of the updates on her Facebook, so really there's no need for me to ask her about the pregnancy when we talk, not that I really want to know any of the details. To me that's something that she should keep between herself and her partner and any friend or family that ask to be involved and she wants to involve. I have not asked to be involved and am fine being left out of the loop. In fact that's what I prefer with things like this.
I almost never ask her about her pregnancy when we talk. I think I've done it once or twice but can't remember why I asked. Usually I let her talk about it and just nod or agree with what she's saying, but I don't engage. She has never said anything to my face about my lack of interest, but she has complained to my sister and a few other family members who've let me know.
My sister told me I was being an asshole to her by largely ignoring the pregnancy and not checking in with her. She said that my daughter feels unsupported. I'm just not sure what she really expects. If she really needs help, I will be there but otherwise I feel this is better left to others in our family and don't want to be involved. It's not like there is a shortage of people wanting to check in with her and get updates.
In my defense, when my ex was pregnant it was the same. Some people are interested in pregnancy. Some are not. I am in the latter category.
AITA? ###### | YTA. You being uninterested in your own partner’s pregnancy is atrocious considering you are the father and it takes two to make a baby. Do you think carrying a baby for 9 months and birth is easy or something?
You are doubly the asshole for then being uninterested in your daughter’s pregnancy when it is not only one of the most important events of her life, but also the most physically traumatic.
How would you feel if your wife, daughter, and future granddaughter write you off because they are simply uninterested in you? Bet you wouldn’t like that. Or what if you get sick? Get cancer? Get in an accident? Would you expect them to care?
This whole thing reads like a toxic, misogynistic, narcissistic satire and I feel bad for the women in OP’s life. ###### |