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(Posted on behalf of someone who doesn’t have reddit - I’ve been discussing this all day with her)
My (57 F) daughter (32) recently gave birth and called and let me know hours after the birth. I was the first person she told but I think it’s strange she didn’t ring me immediately. She didn’t have a long labour and was out of hospital very quickly.
I then hinted very obviously that I’d like to see the baby by asking if she wanted anything and I would come and drop it off but she said she was fine. I feel like she should invite me to come over. I won’t hold the baby or come inside because of COVID but I would like to wave through the window. It’s also awkward when my friends ask if I’ve seen the baby yet and I have to say no.
AITA for being angry and upset with my daughter about this and trying to get my family to understand my point of view
Edit- Op here, after I said as gently as possible that she ran the risk of making her daughter think she was making it about her, she got very defensive and asked why I’m never on her side. She’s still convinced that her daughter is in the wrong and I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get through to her at this point. Thanks for all the comments, was beginning to feel guilty for not supporting her. ###### | YTA. You aren’t entitled to anything. It doesn’t matter how long your daughters labor was. If she didn’t call you until she had a minute, that’s all you need to know. As far as waving through the window? Nope. Your daughter will let you know when she’s comfortable with guests coming to see the baby. End of story. ###### |
As a bit of background. When my son was 17 he came out to me and my wife. I accepted him but my wife didn't this lead into a big argument between him and I vs my wife that almost ended physical. It ended with me and him packing our bags in moving in with my parents for a while. After 2 weeks she and I had a sit-down and we talked alot and I managed to convince her to change her beliefs about gay people and slowly she became better. I begged my son to please come back during those few months but he refused even after his mom apologized multiple times. When he turned 18 he moved out of my parents' house and went to live with his boyfriend. He blocked BOTH of our numbers and everytime we'd ask someone else for their phone to use he would just hang up. Eventually we both gave up but we made sure he was okay through regular social media stalking.
Now he's 22 and he actually contacted me a few months ago. We've hung out a bit and we've really reconnected and we got in touch again. Turns out he was working 2 jobs and doing college on top of that just so he could afford supplies, an appartement and food. Then his mom came into conversation and he refused to see her again. I really tried to encourage him to do so because she's become a way better person. Eventually he told me the real reason why he was here, it was for me. He told me that I had to choose between my wife or him because he would not tolerate having a dad who's married to the person who made his life miseral. I told him that I was neutral but he told me that it was either him or not him. Eventually I told him I love both him and my wife and he left. AITA? ###### | YTA. You aren't neutral, you're on her side. No one is obligated to forgive their abuser even if they've changed. I do feel for you though and am grateful you did initially try to help him. Still though, he doesn't have to reunite with someone that made him miserable. ###### |
I (26M) live with my girlfriend (26F) of two years in Paris. She’s French, and I am American.
My job is 100% in English. I can say a couple very basic French phrases, but that’s it. Nothing more.
My girlfriend is totally fluent in English as she attended college in the UK, so there is no communication barrier there whatsoever.
Recently, she’s been asking me to take French classes because the language is “important to her.” I respect that, but I don’t want to because 1) I work like 70 hours a week, so I hardly have time and 2) even if I did have the time, I just don’t want to. I am bad at language learning.
AITA ###### | YTA. You are underestimating the mental load that she has taken on. How do you deal with all the paperwork, bills, finances etc when you don't speak French? What about when you go out with your friends? Or when you go to a restaurant? Do you expect her to translate everything for you? Or do you expect everyone else around you to accommodate you and speak in English?
Maybe she doesn't want to always have to speak in her second language in her own home. I think it's a bit of a slap in the face to her that you don't care to learn her language, despite the fact that you live with her in France. Even if you don't do well, it would probably mean the world to her if you just tried. ###### |
Diagnosed with a kidney disease that ended up shutting my kidneys down back in 2017 and ended up on dialysis which has been a marathon of surgerys and hospital visits due to complications. I am on the waiting list for a deceased kidney but still looking at another 2-4 years before getting an offer. I’ve had several friends and a few family members attempt to be my live donor but none have passed the screening. My doctor recommended i ask a closer family member such as my brother to be my donor as it has a much higher success rate and typically lasts longer. I asked him and he flatly said NO because he doesn’t want it to interfere with his life plans which involve travel. He’s a single guy and i’m married with 5 kids and i feel like he could’ve at least thought about it a little bit. When i tried to bring it up again after another medical setback, he accused me of being an asshole for making him seem like the bad guy. Sooo...AITA? ###### | YTA. You are not entitled to his body parts. I'm very sorry for what you're going through but that doesn't mean he owes you something. Also TA for making it sound like your life is more valuable because you have kids and he doesn't and trying to make him sound shallow by saying this will interfere with travel plans. I get that you're feeling desperate but it's not his responsibility to fix. You don't even know you'd be a match so why don't you work on the assumption that you wouldn't be and move on. ###### |
I've worked at this company for 3 years. my 3 year anniversary landed on the same day of my SO proposing and to top it off I'm getting promoted. I was expect at least something from my coworkers. like small party, gift, nothing fancy.
I was pretty hurt when I came in that week to find nothing. there were congrats and well dones but nothing else.
I poured my eyes out later to my SO later and expressed how uncared about I felt. he contacted one of my coworkers, soon to be employee, and she went to my manager and set something up. they had a little buffet in the break room. just the common stuff: veggie platter, dips, chips and sweets like cookies, tarts and brownie, some banners.
at the end of the day I took the leftover home with me on the plates/tupperware they came in on. the coworker (again, my soon to be employee) text me that next day asking if I took the sweets she made along with the plates. I said yeah and she got super hostile.
apparently she wanted to keep those in the break room for those unable to attend the party could still eat and nowhere did she say this was all for me. she also needed the platter plate back because she was making a birthday cake for her niece.
my SO and I both agreed it was wrong for her to text me like that and seeing as it was my party, if I wanted the leftovers, I deserve them. but he thinks I should just apologize to keep the peace. If I'm not wrong I don't see the point. ###### | YTA. You are not entitled to a party. The fact that you cried to your fiancé about not getting a party and then having him basically TELL your coworkers to throw one is actually ridiculous. You should be embarrassed about acting like that. Also, you should’ve asked before taking someone’s food home. It’s common courtesy to keep sweets and small things for the people who couldn’t attend. I get that in your eyes you accomplished a lot but 3 years is not a long time. I hope you know your new employees hate you lmao ###### |
I've been going to see the same stylist for about a year before coronavirus. We had a lot in common (by coincidence, I happened to be visiting his hometown a great deal that year because several friends had moved there), but I guess in retrospect this friendliness was probably part of his 'sales patter.'
After the lockdown in March, since I knew 100% of his income was coming from his work and he was scheduled to be married this year, I emailed him asking if he was doing okay, and we chatted briefly by email.
Later that month he emailed me to let me know he had made a note of all appointments that had been scheduled and "all booked appointments during this time are my priority to be re booked once we get back into work."
I had emergency surgery in early July, and am only now feeling better. I noticed that the salon Web site says they're taking customers, so I emailed him to confirm if they were open.
He replied that they'd been open since June 24th (when they were legally allowed to reopen), said he had finally gotten through all the voicemails and emails from their shutdown, and asked if I wanted to schedule an appointment.
Honestly, this is upsetting. I'm not the typical young/attractive person that goes to that salon, but I went because they offered a specific treatment I couldn't easily find elsewhere. I'm guessing if I hadn't emailed him, I'd have never heard back from him.
The complicating factor is that I thought we had some kind of acquaintanceship at least, so it hurts to think that even though I'd emailed him during the lockdown, and I've been a regular for a year, he couldn't be bothered for two months to let me know they'd reopened.
I replied that I'd be in touch. WIBTA to just ditch him and take my business elsewhere, or am I being overly sensitive? ###### | YTA. You are getting way too mad over nothing. Literally fighting to keep your business alive during a pandemic will keep you busy. Don't take it so much to heart. ###### |
Last year, my daughter was in 5th grade and my son was in 1st grade. Their elementary school has an earlier pick up time for 1st graders than 5th graders, and I work an hour away from their school. Consequently, I chose to put my 5th grader in afterschool care at the YMCA and to bring my 1st grader home to be cared for by his grandma while my husband and I work.
After my daughter complained to me about having social anxiety at the YMCA countless times, and after her 5th grade teacher also complained about having to bring a crying kid over to the YMCA staff, I decided to pull her out and use my lunch break to pick both kids up.
Unfortunately, I didn't see my daughter making good use of my sacrifice. I mean, I'm a parent of 2 young kids and don't have me or free time as is for anything. Her math grades were not good initially - she got an 84 on the first test, 88 on the second, and 92 on the third one. When I looked over her test, it wasn't even that she made silly mistakes, it was that she just did not seem to understand what the test was asking.
My husband and I expect top-notch academic achievement for our children, especially now that I've taken away even more me-time for myself and eat lunch in the car instead of at a comfortable space in the office, and I told my daughter that she had to do better last year because of this.
My daughter eventually did get all A's in math and other classes in 5th grade, but I saw that her teacher emailed me at the end of the year saying that while she had improved greatly and had the highest grade in the class, my daughter talked to her about "pressure from mom" so AITA? ###### | YTA. You are emotionally abusive. Go home, hug the fuck out of them and stop putting pressure like that on your kids. ###### |
So this whole situation is ridiculous, and she's technically my ex gf I suppose.
My 30 m ex chloe 27 of 6 month's has a medical condition called fibromyalgia, she used to be 5'1 and 180 pounds, but since got down to 140 pounds via diet but no exercise.
I always said no exercise would come back to bite her in the ass and lo and behold as of last month she had to be admitted to hospital for covid and because she's so unfit it almost killed her.
Chloe is still using the excuse that she's always exhausted and too exhausted for any exercise at all.
So the doctor gives her steroids for her lungs and a bunch of other medication.
He the tells her to join a gym or to start a very slow walking routine.
What drives me crazy is this, I'm a personal trainer at a pretty high end gym in the area, so I advised chloe that her strength would increase much much faster by starting a lifting routine.
But she immediately shot me down saying she can barely lift a shopping bag and that she wants to follow the doctors plan.
Chloe is on heart medication, a betablocker because her heart races the second she dose any kind of cardio, and this doctor has her starting a walking routine ...
This issue kind of festered for a few days until I told chloe I thought it was all bullshit and that she needed to listen to me or have a heart attack on the treadmill.
What I didn't expect was for her to say she been checked out of our relationship for awhile and how I handled her health during covid did it for her.
Despite the fact that I've done nothing but try and help in an area I literally work in? AITA for trying to help? ###### | YTA. You are clearly the worst personal trainer in the world if you think somebody can just shrug off fibromyalgia and start going hard in the gym. Your ignorance about medical conditions is astounding and the advice that you give people is so bad it's going to get somebody serious hurt or perhaps even killed.
You didn't "just try to help". Your ignorant advice and badgering actively hurt because of your astounding ignorance. Did you even try to educate yourself on your gf's medical conditions or speak to her physicians about them? Clearly not since you persisted in telling somebody to do things that would actively harm them.
I am so glad that she got out of this beyond toxic relationship and is free of you now. ###### |
I’ve been living with my roommate for about 2 years now, we have a really nice arrangement and get on well. When we both moved in, we both had boyfriends. She broke up with hers soon after, and I’m still with mine. Initially when we moved in, we had an agreement that we’d only have sex if the other one wasn’t home as to avoid any awkward viewing parties or conversations, and this happened up until my roommate became the village bicycle.
She started bringing guys back to our apartment literally every weekend, bringing them into our space and making me super uncomfortable. She then started having extremely loud sex to the point our neighbours could hear and made complaints, but that didn’t stop her.
Then as a way to get her to realise how loud she was being, I started initiating sex with my boyfriend whenever he was at the apartment and she happened to have a guy back. At first it made my boyfriend uncomfortable that we could both hear each other but went along with it. I try and be loud and irritating during sex so she can get the hint, which pisses my boyfriend off.
Last night it happened again but for the first time in a while due to lockdown restrictions. I tried initiating sex with my boyfriend but he instead pushed me back onto the bed and told me to get off him as I “only want sex with him when it’s to piss my roommate off” and he then went and told my roommate that I was insecure and that’s why I always had sex when she did. My boyfriend and I aren’t speaking, nor are my roommate and I. AITA? ###### | YTA. You are basically using your boyfriend as a sex doll in some petty ass pissing contest between you and your roomie. You are very much the TA. ###### |
A bit of background: I was involved in a bit of bad stuff. Let's say I did some illegal things. Like "sell sweets". But one day I got caught and got taken to prison. This was around the time my son was born. Now my wife was scared for her life and divorced me and moved out of the house we lived in.
Now I had come out of prison after serving my time and I was struggling for a job. Until I found a good role l that was tailored to me. It was going around the country to schools and explain to them the consequences of "selling sweets". Eventually after a year I got back on my feet and felt confident enough to tell my wife I was a changed man. I was feeling excstatic over the thought of seeing my son.
So I did what anyone would do, I searched her name on Facebook and went through so many profiles until I found her. I knew to not contact her as she would shut me down straight away. So I found her brother and contacted him. I told him what I was up to and told him I changed. He believed me and eventually I got to speak to my wife. She understood that I wanted to be in my sons life, so she told me to come over.
First we met in a restaurant, as she didn't trust me fully. I was happy I got to see my son for the first time in 15 years. I teared up a little. But he was being cold to me. And after we finished she told me to come to her house. But on the way to her house my son screamed to my wife. That I was a random she got of the streets and I can fuck off. I wasn't in his life for 15 years and he can survive without me. That I was a pathetic excuse for a father.
I let myself out of the car and I booked a hotel on the spot. So reddit AITA? ###### | YTA. you are absolutely TA. let's break it down
• you got your wife and child involved in illegal acts.
this goes without saying. if you've changed enough to see how wrong and bad and blah blah blah it is, where is your apology to her for putting her through that?
• the second you went to jail, your wife divorced you.
"how could i be TA for this" because i've read Why Does He Do That? and your ex wife taking immediate action to get away from you once she was protected from retaliation is not a good sign. you still calling her your wife after 15 years of her being free from you is a very red flag. and even if all of that was wrong, you left her in so much outside danger she had to do all of this to be even vaguely protected from Your consequences!
• you didn't reach out. you've never tried to pay child support.
you have such a magical job now teaching kids to stay away from "sweets", but you don't have even a penny spare to pay to her? don't come at me with "but - but the courts said -" because if you'd been a goddamn man and actually raised your son, your minimum wage would have gone to him. you don't have $10? you can't send her $50 to offset even a single cost? it hasn't even occurred to you how far below the poverty line she must have sunk to provide for a child and a divorce and a move all on her own.
• you messaged her brother.
you knew she didn't want to see you. you knew what her choice was regarding you and exposure to her vulnerable son (HER son. you're a glorified turkey baster with none of the charm) but you felt so entitled to whatever you want that you deliberately went around her to an ally you hoped would help pressure her. you turned her own brother into someone it wasn't safe for her to depend on anymore, and used that to pressure her into a meeting.
• you didn't ask your son what he wanted.
you had all of this time to facebook stalk but couldn't find him? couldn't ask your flying monkey to ask him what he wanted, now that he's old enough to decide? is it because you knew he'd have grown up in the shadow of what you did to his mother, your EX-wife, and wouldn't want to waste his time on a relationship with a man who never wrote a single letter or bothered to apologize for leaving him alone when you got out.
• you abandoned him again the second he didn't respect you.
so this kid, who you never paid a penny or a drop of attention to until you got back out of jail and came to claim "your" "property" and your healing amazing story of a reunited family to write more condescending "dont do drugs" speeches about - this kid dared to speak up about not wanting you to come to his home or speak to him or pretend to care about him, and instead of admitting that you hurt him and being willing to cede control of the relationship to him for the chance to *create* one, you stopped the car and walked back out of his life the second it wasn't the amazing dream you think you deserve?
you haven't learned anything. you haven't grown, you haven't changed, and you didn't deserve one single drop of the faith your EX WIFE put in your little fantasy of recovery when you crossed every single one of her boundaries to try and bully her back. YTA. going to jail was the best thing you ever did for them. ###### |
My stepdaughter and I don’t get on too well. She’s 18, and I’m 27, so she massively dislikes that there’s an age gap between her father and I, he’s 35. My boyfriend and her mother were together until about 3 years ago, when her mom left and literally just never came home. She’s heard from her about 5 times in the past three years. I’ve been living here about 3 months or so.
She’s a good kid, but her father would literally let her get away with anything. She sits in her messy room on the phone to her boyfriend all day, does absolutely no work for college, has never had a job, and I feel as though my boyfriend massively babies her just because he feels bad her mom left. It is sad, but it’s happened now. Ive tried telling my boyfriend numerous times that he needs to be stricter with her and he says to let him deal with it because he’s her dad.
My boyfriend has been on a business trip the past couple of days so it’s just been his daughter and I in the house. I don’t think she’s come out of her bedroom once, and when she does it’s to ask me to make her food. Last night I made her food and took it up to her room to see it was an absolute mess. I told her to tidy it for her just to start an argument with me about how I wasn’t her mom. Impulsively I just shouted “Jesus Christ I can see why your mom left now” She told me to get out of her room and I heard her start crying.
My boyfriend has always told me she struggles with her mom leaving because it was so sudden, but she treats me like a stranger in my own home for no reason other than the fact I’m with her father. My boyfriend has said it was a massive asshole thing to say considering I know how much she’s struggled. AITA? ###### | YTA. You are a stranger in HER house. It’s not your house. You just got there. That’s her house where her mother and father lived. Her mother abandoned her and the first thing you say to her is she’s the reason her mother left??? That’s extremely fucked up and there’s something wrong with you for feeling in any way justified. ###### |
My daughter in law, Katy, is currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first grandchild, a baby girl. I really love Katy, her and my son have been together about 6 years now and I have a good relationship with her, but we’ve recently come to a head on this discussion.
Due to COVID, the hospital Katy plans on delivering her baby in has a one birthing partner limit, and instead of choosing my son, she chose her mother. My son claims that they had a discussion about it and he was okay with it, but I think it’s completely inconsiderate of Katy to deprive my son of this incredible experience. Sure, her mother is her support system, but so is my son. Katy is also an extremely insecure girl, and has said she doesn’t want my son seeing her in that much pain and discomfort, which having 3 babies myself I do understand, but I do not think it’s good enough reason to not let my son see his baby being born, it’s his baby just as much as hers.
They come round to my house for dinner once a week, usually on a Wednesday, so last night. My son got up to go to the bathroom so I decided to have a quick word with Katy. I wasn’t pushy, I just suggested that she should have my son in the delivery room instead of her mother as it was his right to be there. She said they’d agreed between themselves that it was okay, but I know my son and I just can’t imagine him being okay with that. I asked her why she didn’t want my son in the room and she explained why, her insecurities etc, and I told her she was being idiotic. For someone soon to be a mother she sure is childish.
She shouted for my son and my son was furious at me, telling me that he was okay with whatever Katy wanted and that he’d only be sitting outside, he’d get to see his daughter straight away. I said that wasn’t good enough and he said that if I kept this up I wouldn’t be seeing my granddaughter at all which is just ludicrous. AITA? ###### | YTA. You are a manipulator. You waited until your son was away from his wife, and then attempted to strong-arm her into complying with your wishes. To make matters even worse, you targeted a pregnant woman, who is already in a vulnerable state due to hormones, etc. I doubt this is the first time you’ve done something like this, as your son threatened no contact. Be better. ###### |
My friend was just died in a car crash last week. She was dating this guy [18M] for a year. He is also my friend.
He has been in a lot of emotional pain. I was visiting him. I wanted to help him get over his loss by showing him his relationship was not so perfect. So I showed him some texts that his gf sent to me about him from throughout the past three months.
The texts were of her complaining that he didn't satisy her sexually, she misses fucking her ex, and that she thinks she is getting bored of him.
He was really shocked and upset. I knew it would hurt him at first but I thought after he would feel better knowing the relationship he lost at least wasn't the best relationship anyway.
But apparently he is even more depressed now. His sister called me to yell at me for showing him the texts, calling me an asshole. ###### | YTA. You are a HUGE asshole. Your friend was confiding in you, even if she shouldn’t have been talking about him behind his back and should’ve said it to his face. Not only did you screw over your DEAD friend, you ruined any positive memories he had of her that you could’ve let him keep and caused him more pain. ###### |
My brother started dating this new girl and I realized I recognized her from AA. I’m not an addict, but my lawyer recommended I attend some AA meetings to help strengthen my DUI case (and before you get on my ass for it, I made a mistake months back and got through it). I know it’s her because I remember her very unique name from the AA meeting and she also talked for a very long time.
I thought it was important to mention it to my brother is because I’m worried about her as a partner to him. In AA, she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs, but also that she feels like she can’t control herself. She also admitted to drugs making her verbally aggressive and unstable emotionally, and at the time sue was not sober.
I know my brother, and I know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship. I told him what she said and he broke up with her, and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy bitch who ruined her experience with AA. Honestly I think I was just trying to help my brother out, but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him. But I think it’s better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time. AITA? ###### | YTA. You are a GIGANTIC asshole. Do you not know the definition of the word ANONYMOUS? It is completely wrong to reveal anything people talked about in those meetings! That is their safe space and you just violated it. ###### |
So my sister is older than me. She had two failed marriages due to the men cheating and had three kids between those. She works as a baker, cook, caterer at our local university. She has a trailer that was rent to own and she struggles a lot. She was in college but “took a few semesters off” when she got pregnant the first time.
Well she recently got married again and she says that he is the one this time. The guy she is with seems to over the moon for her and they are expecting a little boy. They just moved into his house in January and things seem fine for her. She has decided to be a stay at home mom and look after all the kids.
My grandmother used to babysit while she was at work which brings us to our argument. She told me that since I’m 22 now that I really should get a job and move out of my grandparents house that my grandfather needs to retire and come home but he can’t if I still live there because there isn’t enough money and I needed to pay my own insurance, food and phone bill and start acting like a grown man and less like a boy that my grandparents can’t take care of me like they used to.
This pissed me off and I told her that I was going to start going to college so I didn’t end up being a loser like her who had to marry and have kids to be happy. And that she ruined her life but I was happy where I was and she was just jealous of my life because hers is so god awful.
My grandparents overheard and want me to apologize to my sister. But I refuse to. She was in my business. AITA? ###### | YTA. You are 22. You should get a job so that your grandfather can retire. If you are trying everything and can’t get a job right now that’s different because the world is a tough place right now. Does not sound like you are.
I get that you don’t take criticism easily from your sister but she is right and concerned about your grandparents. Just because your sister made mistakes does not mean you get to use that as an excuse to be rude to her. ###### |
My daughter needed a hair cut so we went to the salon. The hairdresser had bright pink hair and her whole entire ear pierced. My daughter was very fascinated by this. She mentioned that she would like pink hair and was going on how she would also like many earrings one day too.
My daughter was adamant she wanted pink hair. Initially I was a little unsure but then figured it will grow out anyway and was not permanent. My daughter has a dark blonde to light brown coloured hair and we agreed not to use bleach. I was expecting the colour we chose to be a soft subtle pink without bleach but it did come out extremely intense and bright.
My daughter was very proud of her new hair. The salon also did ear piercing and my daughter noticed this and asked if she could get her ears pierced again. She was wanting a row of earrings like the hairdresser which was of course too much but after some discussion we agreed she could choose 2 pairs of earrings. I was expecting my daughter would 2 more added to each lobe (she already had 1 in each) but she wanted them all on one side. The issue I had was that the 4th and 5th hole would be in her cartilage as she could only fit 3 in her lobe. I raised this with the hairdresser but she said it would be o.k. We ended up leaving the salon with my daughter looking a little punkish with bright pink hair and 5 earrings in her left ear.
When we got home my husband was a little freaked out by my daughters new look. He was angry with me as he thought she was too young. He was also worried about what her grandparents and other parents would think. I told him to relax as it made our daughter happy but he seems to think that I went too far. AITA here? ###### | YTA. You and your husband should make decisions about your children together. ###### |
My daughter never knew her dad.
I met my now boyfriend ten years ago, but because of his addiction and personal issues, we were on again off again.
For the last two years, I didn’t see much of him because he was doing rehab and serving out his probation term.
We reconnected near New Year’s Eve 2019 and he’s really become a changed guy. He said he wanted me, him, and my daughter to be a family.
He told me he reconnected with his Yemeni roots, a big part of which is his family’s traditions devotion to Islam.
After he told me he was a practicing Muslim, I tried learned about his faith and this year I decided to convert.
I converted not just because I believed in the faith, but because I wanted to support my boyfriend.
He moved in a few months ago and he’s thrown himself into religion. Because I wanted us to support him as a family, I decided we would all make changes.
As such, I didn’t buy tank tops or shorts that are above the thighs for my daughter. I also asked that she wear a hijab.
Yesterday was my daughter’s friend’s 13th birthday party. She came downstairs and my boyfriend asked why she wasn’t wearing her hijab. She said it was 92 degrees out and she didn’t want to.
My boyfriend was offended and said that’s no excuse and women wear it regardless of the weather.
I asked for her to put it on and she refused. She complained that she was being made fun of and didn’t even believe in Islam.
I told her if she wasn’t going to put it on and was blaming the weather, then she could stay home. I then grounded her.
Was I the asshole for doing that? As a parent I feel like I have the right to raise my child in any faith that I believe in. Beyond that, she was clearly disobeying an order and insulting a religion.
I also thought the point of a supportive family is if somebody needs to lose weight, you start cooking healthier meals for everybody. I don’t get how faith is any different. ###### | YTA. You and your BF are picking and choosing your faith. The Quran doesn’t exactly approve of premarital sex but y’all are living together. Ooookay. Don’t force your beliefs on your daughter, especially when you’re not that strong a believer yourself. ###### |
13 years ago my family won a wrongful death lawsuit for the death of my husband and as part of the settlement my daughter gets access to a trust fund when she turns 21.
The trust fund would give her almost $40,000 a year until she turns 30.
I feel like that’s a lot of money for someone that would be 21 when it starts coming in, so she’s more financially secure than a lot of kids.
My daughter’s known about this since she’s been in elementary school. Since then, she’s gotten really popular on Instagram and Tik Tok as a dancer and singer.
But at the same time, she’s really been struggling in school, socially and with the work. She’s been held back twice so instead of graduating in 2022 , she will be graduating in 2024.
She is 16 right now and my state allows students to drop out at that age.
However, my daughter’s ex stepfather of 10 years is very much pro education and even though he doesn’t have much legal parenting decisions anymore, he talks to my daughter a lot.
He’s furious that she’s even considering hanging out in LA with other influencers and calling it a job.
But my daughter’s ambitious and also wants to do some mainstream modeling and acting. She also says she needs all day to devote to influencer collaborations and getting ready for events/ creating new content.
We started speaking with school authorities this summer but since school starts very soon, we had to make a decision.
Against her ex stepfather’s protests I signed off on the decision and she’s officially no longer a high school student.
AITA? We all know that she has financial backup the moment she turns 21 and I don’t see how keeping her in something she hates and finds boring is better than letting her do something she’s passionate about. ###### | YTa. You allowed your child to drop out of high school and think that’s okay? What happens when she turns 30 and the money runs out, she has no education, and TikTok has been shut down? ###### |
My older sister (K) and I are both attending the same college this year, I am living in the dorms (as a freshman) and she is living in an off-campus apartment. I was all packed up and excited to go until K came into my room the day we were supposed to leave to tell me she was doing remote learning this semester. She said the reason she was staying behind so suddenly is that her research was canceled, although she has known it was canceled for 3 months. One of the main reasons why I was comfortable being on campus this semester was because K if the COVID situation gets bad, I could stay in her apartment. It's important to note that my parents were incredibly hesitant for letting me go on campus, but felt better when they know my sister would be in the same city as me. After she said she was staying back, my parents basically told me that I could go on campus if I wanted to, although they would prefer if I stayed back as well. With no time to make a decision, I chose to stay back, and spend my freshman year of college in my childhood bedroom.
I know I have it so much better than other people, but I'm mad that I'm missing out on so many life experiences. AITA for blaming my sister for a last-minute change of plans? ###### | YTA. You actually had the choice to stay on campus but chose to go back to your home, it’s all your fault, next semester you can try to go on campus again ###### |
I’m deeply ashamed of this but 10 years ago I had cps called on me. There was no abuse but we were trying to be vegan without cooking, I was very uninformed, and my kids weren’t getting proper nutrition. I took classes and we transitioned to vegetarianism and as of right now my boys are 12 and 13 and perfectly healthy.
We found out it was MIL who called and we had a strained relationship for a while. Eventually o forgave her because she didn’t do it to be spiteful and it was the motivation I needed. Our relationship isn’t bad anymore but she ignores all of us for the most part.
DH has a niece who is the golden child. MiL dotes on her and showers her in gifts and she hardly interacts with my boys. MIL really wanted a daughter and only had sons so I think that has something to do with it. The niece doesn’t like my kids and makes sure they are ignored.
We were all together at a family event recently and MIL interacted with my kids for five minutes and spent the rest of the time with my niece. When we were leaving I demanded to know why she called cps if she doesn’t actually care about my kids. I feel bad because it embarrassed my boys and now the whole family is saying I was rude. ###### | YTA. You acknowledge that your children were in danger, and she was right to call CPS. This woman did what was necessary to keep your children alive and well. It would have been hard for her to do. It may be hard now for her to have a relationship with the children knowing that she would also have to have an amicable relationship with you and your husband.
You "demand[ing] to know why she called cps if she doesn’t actually care about [your] kids" is not going to make her any more comfortable around you, and if she was a less decent person, she may have answered back "if you'd cared about your kids in the first place I wouldn't have had to call CPS." ###### |
My (23M) best friend (23M) bought a house, i moved in and pay him 'rent' every month to cover part if the bills.
I have been with my girlfriend (21) for 5 years and she has pretty much always lived with me at my mums and didn't pay rent (she does have a full time job) because she wants to save money. When i moved in she was coming over alot and now she is here almost all of the time.
My mate has asked me to get her to start covering some of the bills like 3 way split since extra is being used with 3 people being here. I said no since I dont see why she should have to since she never paid rent before and i know if i ask her too she will leave and go back to her parents which i dont want.
Also my mate has a girlfriend who lives here for weeks at a a time when she isn't at Uni and she doesn't have to pay rent so why should my girlfriend?
He has now said if she doesnt start paying some money towards the house then she won't be allowed over more than 2 nights a week.
So reddit AITA? ###### | YTA. Yes, your mate might have a double standard for his girlfriend - but it's his flat, he is allowed to do that. Also, you simply assume that his girlfriend doesn't contribute. It's very likely that she does give him money or contribute by buying groceries for him directly.
Regardless of what's going on with his girlfriend though, yours definitely needs to contribute. The leasing agreement is between you and your mate, you're violating it by essentially having her here as an additional tenant. She uses heat, water, electricity and the phone - she needs to contribute to the bills. ###### |
My mom and wife don’t really get along. My wife said she doesn’t like my parents because they have no morals and they aren’t the greatest people but they aren’t like abusive or cruel or anything. My wife tried to ban my mom from our house because of something that had nothing to do with her and she tried to make it into such a big deal and was throwing around the term revenge porn.
My wife got really drunk on her birthday and was crying about her life. We had a long conversation about her insecurities and she mentioned that part of the reason she hates my mom is looks/career. I tried to comfort her and reassure her.
A week ago my mom came over and was playing with our daughter. I was going to leave the house with my mom and daughter to go to the park and my wife said my daughter wasn’t going without her and again brought up shit that had nothing to do with her. I went to Starbucks with my mom instead and she was upset and saying how she barely has a relationship with my daughter because of my wife. I told her it’s not all her and my wife is insecure and then I told my mom that my wife was jealous. My wife doesn’t know but I know it’s going to come up and I feel like I betrayed her really badly. ###### | YTA. Yes, yes you did. And I would really like to know what this 'thing that had nothing to do with her' is because I have a strong feeling it is a much bigger deal than you're acknowledging. ###### |
No. I´m not working as something cool like a cop or firewoman or something, unfortunately.
I've worked a lot with horror for the better part of our 5 year old kid´s life.
I do horror events/houses during the halloween season and have, among other projects, some horror themed gigs going on throughout the year (Movie props, trauma and horror makeup, some theater directing within the genre etc.)
The kid has been sitting by me when I make prosthetic wounds and body parts for her entire life. She meets and jokes around with the monsters, sees how stuff are made and have even played scary sometimes herself.
We´ve always made sure to have a very lighthearted and silly attitude to the subject when she´s with us. She does **NOT** get to see the finished movie/event/theater.
But for some time now, she has started having more nightmares than usual.
It´s ax wielding men in masks and werewolves hunting her. It´s a witch character I made that kidnaps and want to eat our family. Maybe a bit rougher stuff that most kids but nothing extreme.
My attitude is that most kids has periods where they come running and sleep with the parents when the boogeyman hides under the bed, right?
She doesn't tell us or seem like she's scared when awake and it's not like she can´t sleep at night.
Unfortunately my girlfriend´s parents have other ideas.
They claim that it´s my work and the props and oddities I keep in my workshop that spurs it on and is making it worse. That kids shouldn´t see and hear about these sort of things.
Now they have started bugging us about not letting her be with me when I work or be let in to the workshop. They say that we are scaring her.
Am I the asshole?
TLDR: I work with horror and my kid are around monsters, blood and gore all the time. Now she has nightmares. Her grandparents think it´s my fault, I don´t. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. Yes it's normal for young kids to have nightmares but your daughter is dreaming of the characters you are making. Clearly this is having a negative impact on her and you should (at the very least trial) not letting her in the workshop and see if her nightmares improve. ###### |
My stepdaughter (25f) is staying with my (40m) wife (44f) and I temporarily. My son (15m) stays with us every other week. He has online classes while the rest of us have to go to work so he’s alone at home for a good while.
Last week he decided to make a video and used my step daughter’s bras as props. He dyed them, cut them and used them as slingshots etc. She was extremely upset and said that they were practically unusable afterwards. Apparently she also uses “high end” bras that cost $85 - $90 a piece. I can’t wrap my head around that price tag - I know my wife doesn’t spend more than $50 on a bra. However he destroyed 5 bras so that’s about $450.
I don’t think that’s a reasonable price to pay for just 5 bras. My son had $200 saved up and offered that but she was still upset. My wife sided with her. I don’t think making a 15 year old who clearly can’t afford $450 pay the whole thing is fair either. She can buy 5 cheaper bras for $200. ###### | YTA. Yes bras cost that much!! Especially good bras!
Either pay for them or expect for there to be tension in the house. It doesn't matter what your wife buys. Her daughter bought other bras that are more expensive.
You are also TA for not raising your 15 year old kid to respect people's belongs and not destroy things that don't belong to him. You're enforcing and enabling bad behavior. You have a perfect opportunity to become a better parent by making your child realize what he did was wrong and has consequences.
In the real world he would be in serious trouble for destroying/ stealing $450 worth of merchandise.
Also its extra creepy to think that a 15 year old boy violated the privacy of a woman by going through her panties and bras and touching items that are extremely personal. You need to teach your son to respect women. ###### |
Throwaway as daughter uses social media
I have two kids one 18 year old and one 19 year old. The 19 year old who is my daughter was an affair baby. The mom cheated on me and had her. Later her mom passed away and I decided to adopt her. I also adopted my 18 year old son. I treated them both as my own.
Over the pass few months my daughter has been making fun of my son because he does not have the same genes as me. I never told my daughter she is adopted. I caught her in this act and I was angry as I raised them to never bully anyone. At the heat of the moment I revealed that my daughter is not biologically related to me and she was conceived from her mom cheating who is now dead.
My older daughter started crying and my son just left the room. She said she bullied him because I apparently favored him during childhood. I don't remember doing that as I did my best to provide them based on their needs. My daughter stopped talking to me and telling me to apologize for "lying" to her. So now I am wondering if I am the asshole. ###### | YTA. Yeah, your daughter sucks for bullying him and under normal circumstances I'd ESH it all day but you just told a girl that her past is a fucking lie in such a horrible, horrible way. Her world just came crashing down. Yeah she was a jerk, but no amount of teenager jerkness justifies what you did. ###### |
So this all started a long time ago, my father re-enlisted after 9/11 to gain the benefits of the post 9/11 GI bill. Which for those who don’t know thatallows you to select one of your family
members to receive essentially a free education at a public college paid for by the government.
At least that’s what he told me, fast forward 10 years of me being told that my college was taken care of and I apply and get in to Virginia Tech, a public school that’s out of state for me.
One month later my dad sits me down and tells me that the GI only covers the instate portion of the tuition and not the out of state (another 50k for 4 years) and that I would need to get student loans. This was Information that literally took me 30 seconds to find but he elected to tell me after I had already accepted. Now my mom had me leave the room and when I came back suddenly dad said he was going to pay for all of it and that he needed to take out a loan on the house. He makes 130k a year so no real financial difficulty if he didn’t spend most of his paycheck on his ww2 collection.
However anytime I talk to him he finds someway to bring up all that he has sacrificed for my education. So when ever possible I refuse to speak to him. He has recently started accusing me of being ungrateful for just about everything. In my eyes he’s not being generous, he’s honoring a deal he made 10 years ago that he broke. ###### | YTA. Yeah you do sound ungrateful. Most kids don’t get the luxury of having their parents pay their tuition. Your dad didn’t break any promises; he even took out a loan to pay for your entitled ass to go. You chose a school outside the requirements of the GI bill. If it was so easy to look up, why didn’t you do it before you applied? ###### |
My friends and I were driving and came across a homeless dude. None of us had any cash on us. He looked decent enough. Didn’t look like he was on drugs or anything so I tossed him my credit card and told him to go buy food. My intention was to cancel the card after 30ish minutes I figured since he was homeless he couldn’t get online or make any large purchases within that time frame and the closest stores to our location were all relatively cheap food places where he could use the card to get a meal. He couldn’t possibly do much damage. Anyway, the homeless dude just looked confused and didn’t pick up the card. My friends said it was a weird and entitled asshole thing to do and that I was pulling a ‘power move’. I really just wanted to help out a hungry dude. AITA. ###### | YTA. Wtf ?? So you planned on giving him your card to buy whatever then signal it as stolen so you don’t have to pay for real? It may have led him to be arrested too. You are a jerk.
Next time go to a atm and give him some money so he can buy himself food. Also apologize. And don’t try committing fraud. ###### |
So my ex and I divorced when my kids were 2 and 1. I admit I wasn’t the best dad at first and I went a few months without seeing them which prompted her to take me to court for child support which she she gets from me every month now.
Now my ex keeps the kids and I see them when I can. I work out of town so sometimes I only see them 3 days a month. But i send her money to care for the kids and I asked her if I could have them on Father’s Day since I hadn’t seen them since May 15th. She brought them over and picked them up Father’s Day evening at 6pm.
I guess she had a cook out, dinner and presents for her husband. I mean completely over the top and we are friends on Facebook and she posted pictures of him holding my kids on their Vacation, or my daughter laying on his back with her head laying on top of his and my children snuggled up with him on the couch. There were a few others of him kissing her belly and a video of him crying as she told him they were expecting a boy. She told him that he was doing such a great job helping her raise the kids and that he was the only one she knew who would build treehouses, playhouses, paint a room just to please the kids and watch a Disney Movie every night and she loved how much he already loved his son and that they ALL loved him.
They all love him even my kids... she didn’t even tell me happy Father’s Day when she came over. I texted her and told her she needed to take the post down as I didn’t like the pictures of him with my children and that he isn’t there father that I am and she needs to realize that.
She pretty much told me to f””” off. My mother agrees she needs to take it down. My mother then messaged her and she told my mother “your son and I divorced over religious reasons he thought he was God and I disagreed and I see he still feels the same way” then she blocked her. AITA? Or is my ex? ###### | YTA. Wow. Nice touch calling in your mommy to fight your battle. I can’t imagine why it didn’t work out with your ex. ###### |
This happened a few years ago. I was at a waterpark with a few friends for my birthday. It was a group of 15. We all planned to just pay for ourselves and have a good few hours, but one of my friends decided he would pay for everyone as a gift to me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted on spending nearly $600 so no one else had to pay.
A few hours after, we all decided to congregate near the food court and get something to eat. The friend who paid for everyone's admission didn't order any food and instead thought we'd all share with him. Some people gave him a couple fries, someone bought him a drink, but I didn't want to share my food. I had a burrito, how do you even share that?
Upon hearing I wouldn't share, he got cold and left the waterpark early. I actually haven't spoken to him since then because he removed me from Facebook.
This is a situation I think about often when I'm laying in bed. Was I in the wrong for not sharing despite him spending $600 for the group? It was my birthday, why should I even share? ###### | YTA. Would it have really killed you to spend the ticket money you would have spent anyway to buy your friend a meal? I get he didn’t have to spend $600 dollars on everyone but you were being ungrateful. The fact that you stay up late at night thinking about this just goes to show you subconsciously already know you’re the AH in this situation. ###### |
Before you judge, please read everything (I kept it short). I am not blaming him for this.
Yesterday, my son (16M) confessed to me and my wife that he is gay. My wife was counseling him telling him its ok and that we will love him no matter what but I was just speechless. I know it’s not his fault he is gay, and I definitely don’t hate him for it, but at that moment I just felt like my heart dropped down into my stomach. I never imagined my son, the person who would inherit my families name, the man who I raised from a child to be a man would turn out gay. My son realized I was not ok with it based on my reaction and it upset him even more. He kept insisting for me to say something but I just couldn’t. I left the house and let my wife handle this.
When I returned home my wife acted extremely cold with me and told me that she will not be talking to me until I go to my sons room and apologize. I told her that I am still upset about this situation and will talk to him once I feel better.
I know I shouldn’t have reacted like that, but It was difficult to control my feelings. Now that you guys read everything, do you guys still think I am the asshole here? ###### | YTA. Why would it upset you? He can still have a family to pass on your VIP family name on, and he's still a man. You're a homophobe, that's your problem, which makes you TA. ###### |
(Throwaway account for a friend, I'll answer any questions I can)
Background:
I (21F) am 6 and a half months pregnant with my (22M) partner of 6 years.
We already have a 4 year old together, who was an accident but he is the best thing in my life.
The 3 of us are living in 1 room at my partner's mum's (54) bungalow, and she agreed to adapt her dining room into a bedroom for our son now that he's getting older and needs more space. This should be done in about 3 weeks.
When we found out we were pregnant with our first, my family didn't approve of us keeping the baby because of our age and other circumstances and it strained our relationship quite badly causing a lot of arguments and tension for a while.
We're past that now, they love my son, and they're happy to support us in whatever ways they can.
My partner and I decided to try for another baby whilst our first is still young so he can have a sibling to grow up with, and when I first found out that I was pregnant I didn't want to tell my family because I knew they would have the same reaction as the first time due to our current financial situation. To make sure no one slipped up and let my family know I'm pregnant, we didn't tell anyone else either. I was able to hide it well by wearing baggy clothes and jumpers mostly. It has now got to month 6, and no one has noticed or asked me, so I haven't told anyone.
A very small number of people know that I'm expecting, and have tried to convince me to tell everyone that I'm pregnant before the baby comes, but I don't want to deal with the drama and judgement until I have to.
We also haven't told our son yet, in case he mentions it to his grandad on one of their weekly video chats.
So, AITA for keeping my pregnancy a secret? ###### | YTA. Why try for another baby if you cannot financially provide. What’s the outcome you are hoping for here? 3 months time there’s a baby and MIL just has to get over it? ###### |
My daughter (13F) has very long hair, down to the middle of her back. She always wears it down and she doesn't always wash or brush it and it looks very ugly and messy. Seeing as she isn't responsible enough to take care of her own hair properly, I offered to cut it. After all having long hair can take up vitamins and nutrition and she's skinny enough as it is. I kept offering to cut her hair over the course of a month but every time I brought it up she would say that I could only cut up to three inches off which is barely any difference. Eventually after two months she allowed me to cut it to shoulder length but because she kept moving her head so much during the process it caused some length differences and I had to cut it all to just below her ear. I thought it looked good and really suited her but my daughter ended up crying over her new haircut. At lunch I made a casual comment about how she's so sensitive she cried over hair but now she's seems upset. Its not exactly my fault that she ended up with a different hair cut. If she just kept her head still it would have turned out normal but I would like a third opinion on this. ###### | YTA. Why in hell would you mock your kid’s feelings? What in the hell is wrong with you?
And what is up with your ridiculous “vitamins and nutrition” comment? Did you actually start believing the lies you told your daughter to convince her to cut her hair? Or are you actually that woefully uneducated? ###### |
My 49-y-o cousin put my 90-y-o aunt up to informing our family that his 23-y-o daughter died from a drug overdose.
Of course, I sent my cousin my unconditional condolences right away without asking any questions.
Then I looked at his FB page.
“John” posted that prior to his daughter’s death, he spent 13 hours in the ER for likely taking the same drug that killed his daughter. He described it as a grey pill and warned others about it.
Someone commented that this pill was laced with fentanyl. None of “John’s” FB friends asked “John” any questions.
But I did. I texted “John” letting him know that I read his FB post. “John” wrote back to ask me not to tell other family members. Perplexed, I said that it’s already public and posted on FB.
Then I asked “John” what is the connection between the drug that put him in the ER and the drug he believed killed his daughter. I asked if they were using together.
John responded, “How dare you accuse me of being responsible for her death.”
I said I wasn’t accusing him of anything; I want to know what happened.
He told me to “shut the fuck up.”
I replied that he should think of his dead mother, grandmother, and now daughter every time he abuses another street drug.
“John” unfriended me on FB and I no longer hear from him.
Only “John” knows what really happened. John will have to live with himself whether or not he chooses to explain what happened to anyone.
If I am now ex’d out for asking, then I consider myself in good company with the daughter who is no longer with us. ###### | YTA. Why exactly do you need this information? ###### |
My friend draws art in her spare time and frequently does commissions. I asked her if she could draw something for me and she charged the standard price, which I found a bit steep. I asked if she could just count this as doing a favor for a friend and do it for free and she laughed and called me cheap as a joke.
I did feel a bit hurt by it and I ended up paying the price she asked for but I just want to know if it was unreasonable for me to have asked her for a free commission. ###### | YTA. Why do you think you're entitled to her time and talent for free? ###### |
My friend (Lets call him Kenny 17m) posted to his instagram his new computer he built and his caption was "I can't believe I actually was able to build a computer by myself" his computer setup was just meh, it looked like any average modern day setup. Everyone in the comments was congratulating him saying stuff like "Bro thats awesome" or "Hats off to you sir" and other stuff like that but it wasn't that good (some people even reposted it to their own stories), he posted his computer again to his story saying "I'm gonna order more stuff for it", I (17m) replied to his story asking for him to stop posting his computer.
He replied back saying "Why what's the matter" I said "Your computer setup isn't even that hard to build and you're acting like it's a godly setup but it's mediocre at best" he then said "Dude I just wanted to post my computer I worked hard on it". I asked him how long it took him to build it and he said 3 hours (I'm not even joking) I told him that I was able to build my computer in a hour at 12 and my setup was way more complicated than his.
He said "You know you could have just liked the pic and moved on right?" and I told him that I refuse to congratulate mediocrity and that I did this because I was annoyed him and his friends kept posting it ti their stories. Later I got a message from another friend (Lets call him Von) asking why I was gatekeeping and I told him I wasn't gatekeeping because it was true his setup was mediocre and shouldn't be praised, he just responded with "Fuckin gatekeepers" and didn't respond to my other texts. I feel like I'm right and that mediocrity shouldn't be praised but AITA? ###### | YTA. Why do you have to be crappy and make people feel bad about things they feel proud of? Why do you need them to feel worse about their accomplishments? Sure it wasn’t the best cpu ever, but he did it on his own. He should be proud of his hard work. Everyone starts somewhere. You should apologize. ###### |
My son got married last night, no one in the family was happy about it, but it is his life and no one was anything but respectful over it. My wife hates our new DIL. It really was never a major event, but she finds her very annoying and feels like our son has pushed too hard to make us like her. DIL has been rude in the past and I feel like she is just nitpicky and looks for fights.
My wife has issues with controlling herself when it comes to emotion. She was fighting back tears all day and after dinner it was clear to me that she was going to break down crying and therefore we should just leave. I don't think the parents leaving early is particularly egregious. I'm pretty sure my parents left my wedding when the dinner was over, just because they weren't interested in the party part.
My wife went to the bathroom and washed her face off so they couldn't tell she had been crying and we congratulated them and said we were leaving and to have a great night. DIL immediately pointed out that my wife looked upset, which is actually a huge reason i dislike her, because i feel if someone is upset you leave them alone and don't call attention to it. My wife said we were leaving because she didn't feel well, which obviously they didn't believe and DIL kept demanding to know why my wife was upset.
I yelled at my son for not telling his wife to leave his mother alone and i told him that you shouldn't ask questions you don't want an answer to. He knew his mother wasn't happy, and i'm sure he knew she was barely keeping it together for him, but my wife said i shouldn't have yelled at him at his wedding, and she very diplomatically waited until the next morning to tell him that they are both rude. ###### | YTA. Why did you two even go if you were just going to cause a scene ? ###### |
After my son married his husband, I always assumed I would never have grandchildren ( I only have him and his sister, who’s husband is sadly infertile ). However they recently told our family that they are thinking about raising a kid.
Of course I’m extremely exited about this, so he has been keeping me updated on what their plans are. They decided that whatever they do they will do it after this whole pandemic ends. And they are still trying to decide if they will try with a surrogate or just adopting.
I know that ultimately it’s their choice but I thought that I could still voice my opinion on the matter. I believe that a surrogate would be better because then it would actually be their biological children, and although I would still love the kid if he was adopted it simply isn’t the same. However he said that one of the problems with a surrogate is that they would have to choose who would donate the sperm, and so it would be “unfair” for one of them. And although I understand this I still thing is not that big of a deal, and that I would like my grandkid to look like my son.
And here’s where the problem came, my son’s husband happens to be Asian. So my son got really defensive when I said that, and he even asked me if I would dislike his kid if he was Asian. And look, I would definitely love the kid regardless of race, but just like any parent ( or in this case grandparent ) I would like the kid to look like our family. But he didn’t see it like that, and immediately called me racist.
Since then he has been really cold to me and doesn’t even mention the topic. Did I say something wrong? Because I just stated my opinion and then I got called racist and now my own son doesn’t want to talk to me. ###### | YTA. Why did you think you should throw your opinion out there? This isn’t your child. It’s not your family. He doesn’t discuss it with you anymore because you clearly think this is a discussion you can and should be a part of, and it’s just not. ###### |
I teach high school chemistry, but also a few introductory classes at the college. This occurred in the fall semester. Recently, some other science professors and I gathered for the fourth and were discussing students who weren't meant for college and were obviously forced by parents. I told them this situation, in which I was given mixed feedback on. Some say I'm an ass, some say no.
I had a student, Jane, in my night class. She was very shy, didn't work very hard and was obviously failing my class. Whenever she asked for help she was very clumsy, stammering. I believe she may have had a speech disorder, along with some confident issues.
Halfway through the course, I ask a simple question on an element and call on Jane to answer. She freezes up and doesn't say anything. I hint towards the correct answer, until I'm finally telling her. Most of the class is staring at her now and she whispers can you please stop staring at me.
A few kids snicker. A little frustrated, I blurt out 'They're laughing and staring Jane because it's so absurd you can answer questions on first term material.'
She excused herself to the bathroom, came back looking as if she had been crying and dropped the class that same day. I don't know what happened to her. I was mean, but not over the line. To pass my class you need to be focused. ###### | YTA. Why did you call on a student who has trouble speaking in public and being put on the spot and then nastily shame her for...having trouble speaking in public and ending put on the spot? ###### |
I have sensory processing disorder which means I am extremely sensitive to light and sound. My family does not seem to care and are always very inconsiderate: screaming, keeping bright lights on, etc.
My little sister is scared of the dark. To combat this, she has a HUGE LED light. It lights up my room (directly across the hallway from her’s) and makes it so I am unable to sleep. For some reason, my parents value her fear of the dark over my health. I never sleep well, and I am often up for hours, recently i have been tying a shirt around my eyes.
I’ve offered her solutions:
close the door
“no, i want the cats to come in”
use a small nightlight (i even went as far as to make her one out of fused glass and a small bulb)
“no, i like the big light”
However i’ve been really fed up with having a constant headache recently so this morning I snuck into her room and took the lightbulb out of her light and hid it. When she found out she threw a fit, and my parents are threatening to punish me if i don’t give it back (i don’t think i will, i’d rather have just one full night of sleep than my electronics)
So, AITA in this situation? ###### | YTA. Why can’t you close your door? Or get a sleep mask, or a curtain for the doorway?
Stealing other people’s stuff is not right or justified, even If it bothers you or you asked nicely for them to change. Stealing is wrong. There are better ways to deal with your condition without burning your bridges at home.
To fix this, give back the light and solve the problem another way (sleep mask, closed door/curtain, rearrange your room so it’s no longer a problem. Etc). Good luck. ###### |
I’m deeply ashamed of this but 10 years ago I had cps called on me. There was no abuse but we were trying to be vegan without cooking, I was very uninformed, and my kids weren’t getting proper nutrition. I took classes and we transitioned to vegetarianism and as of right now my boys are 12 and 13 and perfectly healthy.
We found out it was MIL who called and we had a strained relationship for a while. Eventually o forgave her because she didn’t do it to be spiteful and it was the motivation I needed. Our relationship isn’t bad anymore but she ignores all of us for the most part.
DH has a niece who is the golden child. MiL dotes on her and showers her in gifts and she hardly interacts with my boys. MIL really wanted a daughter and only had sons so I think that has something to do with it. The niece doesn’t like my kids and makes sure they are ignored.
We were all together at a family event recently and MIL interacted with my kids for five minutes and spent the rest of the time with my niece. When we were leaving I demanded to know why she called cps if she doesn’t actually care about my kids. I feel bad because it embarrassed my boys and now the whole family is saying I was rude. ###### | YTA. Why bring up drama from a decade ago? ###### |
My gf has been working on improving her health and skin and one of the thing she’s doing is trying drink enough water each day. I don’t keep track of it but she seems to be doing pretty well, I always see her drinking water. But the issue is... she still drinks a can of soda once a week or so, sometimes less. I noticed her drinking one today and I pointed it out and I was like I thought you were trying to be healthier?? And she got annoyed and told me she is and I should be “proud” because she used to drink atleast a can a day. And I took the soda from her and said she is not healthy until she stops it 100% otherwise her “efforts” to be healthy are literally useless. Now she’s pissed off at me that I won’t let her have this one thing, and she claims it’s not that bad. I’m just trying to help her and I feel like she needs some tough love. Sure it’s just a few sodas a month but those few sodas are canceling out all of her efforts. So at the end of the day she’s still unhealthy as fuck. I’m actually considering going through the fridge and tossing out the soda while she is at work. Its risky but honestly for the best. AITA? ###### | YTA. Who named you soda police?
Her efforts aren't "literally useless" if she has a soda once a week. Haven't you ever heard of moderation?
A few sodas a month are not cancelling out all her efforts. Good lord.
This has to be a troll, right?! ###### |
So my friend has struggled with infertility for many years. I really feel for her and her efforts on becoming a mother. She told me that her and her husband in the process of adopting a baby. A girl a few cities over is eighteen and pregnant and has reached out to Facebook adoption groups in the area and they connected. The baby is due in December. She told me she’s excited to finally have her miracle baby.
I noticed on her Amazon registry that she had breast pumps and I asked her why. She said that she and her doctor put her on lactation inducing medication or something along those lines and she’s been pumping everyday three times a day and she’s been able to produce some milk. She’s hoping by the time the baby gets here she’s be able to produce enough milk to breastfeed.
I’ve never heard of breastfeeding adopted babies. I don’t know, the idea was just so foreign to me. I didn’t know medication could make you lactate. She went on to say it’s important for her to have that bonding time with the baby and she’s spoken to other adoptive moms that have done the same thing. I told her it’s a bit odd to me but I’m happy for her and she said I was making something natural weird. I said it’s not natural though and I didn’t meant to shame her and she called me an asshole and hung up. ###### | YTA. When you say "That's a little weird" what you are really saying is "*That isn't your baby*" and she knows that. It's an opinion, know when to keep them to yourself ###### |
I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors and weird formatting. I'm on mobile and not a native speaker.
For context me (29f) and my hubs (30m) are medical professionals so I take these things seriously. I've explained to my 6yo (let's call her D) what allergies are when one of her classmates from preschool had to go to the ER because of a bee sting. She understood the severity and doesn't let anybody joke about it.
The last few months, D has been an extreme picky eater. To the point that if someone says that they dont like something, she suddenly doesn't like it anymore, even if she loved it yesterday.
Today, for dinner I made baked potatoes for her and hubs (both love it) and a sandwich for me. Now, I absolutely HATE baked potatoes. I gag when I try to eat them. But today I wasn't very hungry and they haven't eaten that in a while so I figured I would do it for them.
D noticed and started asking questions to why I'm not eating the same. Both me and hubs are exhausted. We don't really want to either hear her tantrum about how she suddenly doesn't like the dish or want to make another thing. So I say that I am allergic, because I know she'll drop it. And she did.
However, after bedtime, hubs said I shouldn't have lied to her and now I feel guilty.
So, AITA for faking an allergy so she wouldn't get picky? ###### | YTA. When you lie to your children, they learn that they can’t trust you. If you want your child to grow up and respect you, you need to set a good example and that means being honest with her. ###### |
My daughter (14) had anxiety problems ever since she was little but it was not severe. 3 months ago, my daughter changed drastically. She stopped eating, talking to us or her friends and her marks dropped. We were really concerned and her teachers strongly suggested we take her to therapy which we did and she was diagnosed with severe depression and social anxiety which was expected.
The therapy sessions look like they helped her well, in the first month she already began making progress and started talking to us and her friends again and is eating whatever her mother is cooking. We were really happy to see this and every day she would get better and better. The thing is, her marks did not. They are terrible and she ended up barely passing the year. This is what infuriated me and made me cancel her therapy sessions. I know to some it might sound terrible, but paying $120 per session and seeing no progress in her marks makes me feel like I am seriously wasting my money (now that she returned back to normal). Not only that but since she really enjoys going to therapy I think telling her that she needs to get higher marks to continue her therapy sessions will motivate her to study harder and thus score better marks.
My wife disagrees with my logic and we had a massive argument because of it which ended up with her saying that she is going to pay from ‘her money’ which hurt me since I see my and her money as ours. My daughter is also really upset on me and was begging me to keep her therapy sessions but I think I am going to stick to this plan. AITA here? ###### | YTA. When my depression developed during my second year at university, my grades plunged. Bad. I’m an honors, straight A student and started failing several tests.
I’ve been in therapy for a year and a half now and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. The reason she’s opening up and becoming more social is likely a direct result of going to therapy. Progress takes time, it’s very unrealistic to expect her to completely improve within three months a treatment.
And the reality is, this will not motivate her to study more. She i’ll spiral back to to where she was three months ago and all progress she’s made will be reverted. Put her back into therapy, please. ###### |
No. I´m not working as something cool like a cop or firewoman or something, unfortunately.
I've worked a lot with horror for the better part of our 5 year old kid´s life.
I do horror events/houses during the halloween season and have, among other projects, some horror themed gigs going on throughout the year (Movie props, trauma and horror makeup, some theater directing within the genre etc.)
The kid has been sitting by me when I make prosthetic wounds and body parts for her entire life. She meets and jokes around with the monsters, sees how stuff are made and have even played scary sometimes herself.
We´ve always made sure to have a very lighthearted and silly attitude to the subject when she´s with us. She does **NOT** get to see the finished movie/event/theater.
But for some time now, she has started having more nightmares than usual.
It´s ax wielding men in masks and werewolves hunting her. It´s a witch character I made that kidnaps and want to eat our family. Maybe a bit rougher stuff that most kids but nothing extreme.
My attitude is that most kids has periods where they come running and sleep with the parents when the boogeyman hides under the bed, right?
She doesn't tell us or seem like she's scared when awake and it's not like she can´t sleep at night.
Unfortunately my girlfriend´s parents have other ideas.
They claim that it´s my work and the props and oddities I keep in my workshop that spurs it on and is making it worse. That kids shouldn´t see and hear about these sort of things.
Now they have started bugging us about not letting her be with me when I work or be let in to the workshop. They say that we are scaring her.
Am I the asshole?
TLDR: I work with horror and my kid are around monsters, blood and gore all the time. Now she has nightmares. Her grandparents think it´s my fault, I don´t. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. What's the matter with you? I hope you're trolling because this reads like you don't care about this child AT ALL. ###### |
Throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main.
My girlfriend is a talented musician. She plays multiple instruments and has an angelic voice. She's dedicated her life to this excruciating task, and it's truly paid off.
My sister has 2 boys, a 10 year-old and a 8 year old. They are extremely active and love running around, which usually ends in a mess being created. The boys adore my girlfriend, they love everything about her, which I find very cute. The boys came to stay with me for a day when my sister and my girlfriend were out of town (separately.)
The 10 year old is learning the violin and he insists on playing like my girlfriend. I thought it would be harmless to bring out my girlfriend's violin for him to play something, and to calm his hyper-active self down. Granted, it was slightly too big for him, but he was plucking the strings and seemed to know how to use it. I had to dash out for a emergency (I was just next door) and when I returned after an hour, her bow was almost completely frayed. I took the violin away and scolded both of them.
My girlfriend came back home to a frayed bow. She was understandably upset, and to my surprise, even more upset when I told her the entire story. She asked me if I would like to pay for the repair (or replacement) of the violin bow. I thought that my sister would have to chalk up the fees because it was her kids (my nephews) who caused the damage in the first place. My girlfriend disagreed and defended my sister not paying the fees when I prompted her to. I keep refusing every time she asks. I'm not stopping from practicing either, she has a spare bow.
Am I really the AH? I shouldn't be faulted for someone else's kids problems. ###### | YTA. What? You offered up an expensive piece of equipment to a child and then left him unsupervised. You are 100% to blame.
If the kid had dug it out himself I'd probably say your sister should pay. But you literally put it in his hands. Duh. Earth to OP. ###### |
I admit, I do regret it a little but I'll give full context so you can understand. My gf has been writing since she was around 10, and has improved a lot. She primarily writes fanfiction but recently has branched out into original work. She has a decent ish following, and her writing isnt half bad. I supported her all this time, but ever since she started on her original work(s) she's been extremely wrapped up in it.
She's barely done anything in the house in quarantine other than writing her book(s) and working. She does make time for me wherever she can but it's really not enough. I feel like an afterthought. I did talk to her about it and we started spending more time with each other after, she said sorry too but its still not enough. She started growing a bit engrossed in it again so I brought it up again. She said she's currently putting her writing over everything and told me it's the most important thing in her life right now, and she can't wait to share whatever success she has with me once this is all done.
I don't know why that made me so mad, I was stewing in it for a while. I admit it was petty. Finally she was ignoring me to write and I told her she's not as good of a writer as she thinks and her novels aren't really going to go anywhere, so to please relax. She didn't even get mad at me, just got really sad and is now not talking to me. I admit that it might have been mean, but I don't think she could just ignore the relationship and the house for novels that arent guaranteed to do well, and I kind of got mad. ###### | YTA. What you said was selfish and hurtful, and you know it. You clearly said it because you resented the time she was spending on things other than you, which makes you sound like a child. ###### |
A bit of context , my daughter is 14 years old with no disabilities whatsoever , however , she’s extremely terrible at her schoolwork and often get low grades. My wife and I always tried to help her but she just won’t listen to us. So today we were eating dinner and I asked her to put rice on the bowl. Now , I do all the housework in the house , I also made dinner and I have to go to work everyday , so I’m practically exhausted and very annoyed with everything. So when my daughter dropped the bowl ( it’s made of metal so it didn’t break ) , I shouted at her at cussed at her because she couldn’t do anything right in this house. She’s extremely lazy and all she does is play video games . She got really upset because I told her she’s basically useless which is the truth , and she just left the dining room and told us she didn’t want to eat anymore. I was furious because I spent so long making dinner and she’s being very ungrateful. My wife was upset too but somehow she’s angry at me? She told me I didn’t need to shout at my daughter but my anger was justified since I do everything in the house and she can’t even do one little thing right so I have the right to yell at her. I don’t understand why my wife is angry at me since she should be angry at my daughter for wasting food and making me angry, I’m sure that I’m not the asshole but I thought I’ll ask reddit anyway , AITA? ###### | Yta. What the hell is actually wrong with you. The kid dropped a bowl ON ACCIDENT. Do you even care about your child at all because it doesn't sound like it.
>my daughter is 14 years old with no disabilities whatsoever , however , she’s extremely terrible at her schoolwork and often get low grades. My wife and I always tried to help her but she just won’t listen to us. So
None of this has anything to do with why you're asking if yta so it's basically just you wanting to trash talk your kid. ###### |
we had been talking online for a couple of weeks, she seemed like a cool person and we seemed to get along really well. I drove about 20 minutes to go pick her up. As soon as she stepped in the car the Vibe was way off. She wouldn’t really speak, and I felt like she was sort of ignoring me while constantly texting on her phone. We got to the movies, picked one out, and settled to watch our movie. I asked if she wanted anything to drink or some popcorn and she only half heartedly gave a noncommittal no while still mainly on her phone. Right as the movie was starting I had the idea of just taking off. I didn’t want to settle for a 2 and a half hour long movie with someone who I knew there was no future or connection with. Under the false pretense of me going to get some popcorn, I left. I went to the front counter and got my ticket refunded for my movie and drove home. If someone does not seem interested in you That should be it, and I figured that because we were so close to her home she would be able to Uber home. AITA? ###### | YTA. What the fuck? Why didn't you say something to her at least and drive her back home? You could have even made an excuse that there was an emergency then driven her home and just cut off anymore contact. Instead you left her sitting in a theatre wondering where you went with no ride home?
Did she not contact you asking where you were or anything? ###### |
My wife is a full-time nurse, a mom of two young children and in school for her masters degree. I also work a full-time job and I’m training for a marathon. She pretty much lets me run whenever I need to and I occasionally get to hang out with my friends. She’s pretty good about not saying anything when I need to do what I need to do for work or leisure. The problem is she needed to study this weekend and I didn’t make plans because I had asked her how much time she needed to study and she didn’t answer me. Granted I asked her when she was already in bed because she had to be up at 4:30 in the morning. That was five days ago she hasn’t brought it up since. I didn’t make any plans and now I’m frustrated that I have to take the kids and find something to do while she studies. She blew up on me complaining about how she makes all the sacrifices and she’s just asking for a few hours of study time. I think she’s not being respectful of my feelings and the fact that I could’ve made plans had she told me she needed a few hours to study. Words were exchanged and I called her a fucking cunt. Well as you can imagine that didn’t go over very well. We got an a huge fight and I took off and left her with the kids for the day. Now she’s not backing down. I feel like she needs to be more respectful of my time and communicate with me how many hours she needs to study. She thinks I’m being totally unreasonable. Am I the asshole? ###### | YTA. What on god's green earth would possibly make you in the right here? Your wife is doing an insane amount of work and you act like it's a favor to take care of your own kids. You asked her a question when she was trying to sleep then got pissy that she didn't bring it back up of her own volition...I guess because your own mouth broke, or something? Then you called her an awful name.
If you were actually doing your share of parenting you'd be assuming you were parenting unless you were specifically told otherwise, not asking your wife to give you the exact number of hours you'd have to babysit your own kids. You sound like an absolute misery to be partnered with. ###### |
I have a 8 year old son who has an awful stutter. My wife used to have a stutter but grew out of it so we've been hoping for the same but thought it would be best if we just got help with it. My wife organised it and was suggested a Mr Timothy 'Surname'. All we knew was that he was good at his job and was 31. Awesome, got the ball rolling and his first session was this morning. Doorbell rings, I open the door and I see what's presentable as a 'women' with a bit of a facial hair wearing a suit (only saw the facial after he took of the mask). Peculiar but doesn't concern me so I asked if 'she' was sent in behalf of Timothy or if 'she' was here for another reason. That's 'she' said he was Timothy with a straight face. I paused cause I expected a bit more clarification but eventually my mind rebooted on its own and I figured that he was probably trans and still transitioning. Invited him inside and introduced him to my son who was a bit taken a back but was still good and I left them. They worked for an hour and then he was off. Spoke to my son and he was extremely confused and asked me all sorts of questions about him and whether or not he was girl etc. Which I tried to explain but my son just kept nodding like he did when he was just confused so I asked if he wants another therapist or not and he shrugged then walked off. I took this as a polite yes so my wife looked for someone else and I called Timothy and told him we appreciated his services but we'd found someone else. The guy was really cold over the phone and went "mhm" the whole time and called us assholes before hanging up (on his defense, I'm sure he said it while hanging up thinking we wouldn't hear). So yeah, aita? ###### | YTA. What is there to explain? Timothy is a man, that’s all need be said. ###### |
My fiancée and I are getting married in October and I couldn’t be more excited. Currently she’s unemployed because her job permanently shut down due to the lockdown so the income comes from me and her unemployment. I make good money so I don’t care if she gets another job, I can support us.
Money is a little tight lately because we very suddenly had to buy a new car. We haven’t really spent any personal money, only money on groceries and necessities.
Last night my fiancée came into our bathroom while I was shaving and looked a little nervous. She asked if she could buy a $350 wedding dress that she’s been looking at for months. I kind of looked at her and asked where the $350 would come from. She said we had a lot of money in our savings we hadn’t touched, and it would barely make a dent in our savings. I thought about it for a second and told her if she gets to splurge $350 on a dress I get to spend $350 on whatever I want.
She said she didn’t think it was a splurge, it was for our wedding and I could buy what I wanted but i could tell I had hurt her feelings. I told her spending $350 on a dress was a little ridiculous, and she started crying and walked out of the bathroom quietly.
When I walked into our bedroom she was under the covers and facing away from me. We haven’t talked since. I don’t feel like I’m being unreasonable but AITA? ###### | YTA. What exactly do you want her to wear to your wedding? An old dress? Because $350 for a wedding dress is cheap. ###### |
I took my son (8y.o) to the toy store today at the mall to reward him for doing well with his home schooling. While we were there I told him he could walk around the store and pick what he wanted. I pretty much just followed him around.
This store has no music and due to size you can pretty much hear all conversations.
As my son is wandering I can hear what sounds to be a girl (sounds like late teens trying to talk cutesy to sound younger ) in the next isle. What she says really confused my son and I was mortified.
"Daddy, daddy! Is so cute! I want it, Pwetty Pwease!"
To which I hear a full grown man respond back with, "Well, do you think you earned a new stuffed animal sweetie?"
The girl starts spouting off chores and I usher my son to cash out so we can leave ASAP. However they get to the register before us and I can see that it appears to be a gentleman probably mid forties , clean cut and my suspicions of it being a teen was correct as this girl is clearly either eighteen or just hitting eighteen and dressed in overalls and Hello Kitty shirts and shoes, babbling about how happy she is 'daddy' got to take her out for the afternoon.
My son is hyper focused on them and i felt that it was enough. I cleared my throat and said that I don't mind what people do in their bedrooms or private lives, but are they really acting out a daddy fetish in a toy store where real children go? I told them that my son doesn't need to see it and that she should talk and act her age. Not like a damn toddler.
The girl in front of me starts to cry and the cashier is staring at us and the man looks stunned for a moment before looking me dead in the eyes and said, "She is my adopted daughter and she has a plethora of health issues, so how about you mind your business and fuck off."
I told my husband about this and he agrees that I was just trying to protect our son. But now I'm not sure if I was being an asshole or not. ###### | YTA. What does your 8 year old son know about that? Protect him from what? The ”fetish” was in your brain. As an adult you pieced together what might be going on in your head. Your son probably had no such thoughts, because he’s 8. There was nothing inherently sexual about what they were doing, you connected the dots. Your son doesn’t even know what a ”daddy fetish” is, so how would it hurt him? ###### |
My step sister doesn't have a strong or sexy female role model in her life. Our relationship has its ups and downs, but on several occasions she's admitted she wants to learn more from me about make up, clothes and the like. Her mom is a pretty sleazy character and I have no idea why my dad's with her. Still, I can't let her go because of that, my step sis is 17 and I'm 21, so we're like sisters, right?
I decided to surprise her and give her this gift as a subtle nudge to getting her to start presenting herself a little better. She hasn't had a single boyfriend, and is always the wayward anti-social depressed person which I think is a terrible look for her and not doing her mental health any wonders. I hoped this would maybe get her excited about taking care of things and feeling sexy and attractive. I know she has a couple of boys she crushes on .. hard! Maybe this would get her started.
Unfortunately the kid ratted on me, told her mom (my step mom) and now it's become a big thing in my family. Luckily I don't live with my dad or them, and I'm with my mom (who luckily gave me a strong female role model .. she's amazing!) so I don't have to deal with the drama day-to-day. But they're accusing me of sending her the wrong message and this is the text that really hurt me "put her on a path to being shallow and slutty, like you are" which was a total below the belt hit. My mom just chalks it up to jealousy and thinks I did the right thing giving that poor girl a chance to get out of that funk.
AITA here? ###### | YTA. What a weird gift to get someone. It’s like going “you look too hairy”. Not to mention teenage girls are already insecure enough without having to look “sexy”. Just. Ew. Dude. Read that back to yourself and remember she’s 17. Not 25.
And I have no clue what waxing or shaving has to do with being a strong female role model. It’s her decision if she wants to do that. You’re very much TA. ###### |
I divorced a few years back, I had daughter(Jenny) and one son from my past marriage. Her mother and my childrens did not take our separation well. They hates my wife(Lisa) also they kind of banished her from all family functions.
Lisa and Jenny were once best friends, I never thought I will fall for her but it just happened and after 3 years we are still going strong despite our age difference.
Jenny is getting married soon with her boyfriend. Yesterday,she calls me to tell me she is planning the wedding, hoping that I will chip in some money. I told her I’d like to help to but only if Lisa is invited. She was not ok with this and she would prefer if I only come alone. I said that I’m okay with her choice but in that case I am not going to help her financially. I will not pay for wedding my wife is not invited. My brother thinks I'm being selfish TA for not helping her. ###### | YTA. Well If I understood correctly than you cheated on your wife with your daughters best friend and now you expect them to accept her with open arms. You are one big TA. ###### |
While my girlfriend was out of town, one of our cats peed in a laundry basket of her clothes. There was a lot of pee. It was really gross.
She is upset, however, because I did it without asking first, although she was hard to reach where she was. She says she would have washed them and not thrown them out. There were a few items that she liked that were noticeably gone, and she would have salvaged them. There may be others but we’re not sure what was in there.
AITA? ###### | YTA. Washing machines, laundry soap, and enzyme cleaners (that kill the strong cat pee smell) exist for a reason. You need to buy her new clothes because you are the asshole. And lazy... just wash them! ###### |
My girlfriend and I are not ready to have a baby for several reasons, but we love each other and I don’t know how else to say this but we have sex a lot. So she takes birth control. However, she has been known to forget to take a pill here and there. She’s not proud of it, ofc, so that makes it harder for her to tell me if she forgets it one night or not.
As I’ve stated, neither of us could possibly raise a child at this moment, so a baby is the *last* thing we need, and by not having birth control as a constant variable, we are being put at a higher risk of unplanned pregnancy. So I have been texting her every night for the past days, saying don’t forget to take your birth control. She never replies to those texts, with the next text usually being good night or something else.
I feel like I’m coming from a place of privilege bc I’m not the one who has to take it, so I feel sort of bad for pestering her, but it also has the potential to directly affect me. So AITA? ###### | YTA. Use condoms. ###### |
Hi! So, my friend had invited myself and some friends to brunch at a local café for her birthday. I'm conflicted, because since we were invited to specifically brunch at this place, and of course, were expected to bring gifts (as you do for birthdays). I would accept if she had mentioned that we were paying for our own brunch, however that wasn't mentioned. This friend is a good friend, don't get me wrong, however I am conflicted. ###### | YTA. Unless someone specifically says ‘my treat’ then assume you’re paying. An invitation does not guarantee a ‘this is on me!’ ###### |
My wife got into a car accident a year ago and has been in a wheelchair since.
Since then, she’s refused to go back to her job, even though they have adequate accommodations.
She also has let go of herself; she’s skinny to the point she’s gaunt, and she never does anything productive around the house.
She used to be this I can do it all working mom who wore Louboutins and Manolo Blahniks to work. However, she hasn’t touched them since the accident and I figured she’d never be using them. So when my cousin wanted designer shoes, I ended up giving them to her.
My wife found out about it today and became uncontrollably angry. She demanded that they are returned. I call up my cousin and she says she ended up selling them because she got bored of them.
My wife then accuses me of only valuing her for her looks and says I’m not the man she married. I am angry but say nothing even though I want to remind her she’s not the woman I married.
Since then, she only speaks to our daughter, who is also upset.
AITA? For the past year, she’s done nothing that would indicate she’d ever want to dress up again. ###### | YTa. Uh, people in wheelchairs still wear shoes... ###### |
I’ve been with my husband for 7 years, his younger brother is 20.
In all the time I’ve known my BIL he’s not shown any interest in women.
His browser history is full of men on men (he gave me his old phone and didn’t wipe it, shouldn’t have snooped)
He gets very awkward around other men and has a weird obsession with Tom Hardy and he’s constantly asking my husband his opinion on an LGBT topic.
To me it’s obvious he’s gay or at least bisexual.
I mentioned it to my husband and I told him he needs to have a one on one with his brother.
My husband and I are in this huge argument and he’s saying that his brother is just emotionally stunted and still discovering himself (my MIL and FIL are very anti sex before marriage etc)
He’s claiming it isn’t my place and that I’m reaching, he’s really upset.
AITA?
**He gave me the phone, it was my phone then, he forgot to wipe it** ###### | YTA. To be perfectly honest, it does sound like your BIL might be gay, but either way it's not really your business. All you can do is let him find out himself and support him. ###### |
Around the holidays, I got my friend and I tickets to a broadway show for January, as my gift to her. She was apparently excited to go.
Then a week before the production, I got very sick. I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with the flu. They said there was no way I could go to the show, even after resting a week, it was that bad a strain. So I put the tickets in my friend’s name and told her to take someone else and have fun. She told me to feel better.
Day after the show, I texted “how was the show?” No response. In fact, radio silence for a week. No telling me how it was, no thanking me for the tickets, no telling me how anything in the city was. Not even saying anything else which wasn’t like her at all. I got a weird feeling, as I saw her posting on social media. I was left on read. After an entire week, I replied, “guess it wasn’t that good or else you would’ve replied haha”.
She finally responded two days later and said “Hey I’m sorry. I ended up falling asleep and not going to the show. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
I was upset. The show was at 7 pm, early, not like she’d have to leave late. The tickets weren’t cheap and my friend does stuff like this a lot. She’ll be irresponsible and then refuse to own up to it. I waited a bit an said “I need to take a break from you.” She said “seriously?” I presented what I just said and she told me “it was a mistake”. I said I know but I just needed a break. She got mad and said “you know what, maybe we shouldn’t be friends at all, forget your break”.
I was hurt as it trivialized my pain. She hasn’t spoken to me since. Recently I‘ve been thinking about this again as I’ve been looking into broadway soundtracks. So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. Those tickets were a sunk cost. You were never getting your money back whether you went or not. Sure it's nice if they could have been used, but the fact they weren't changes nothing. Grow up. Not your friends job to do anything with those tickets. ###### |
My (F 38) husband (M 36) have been married for over 1 year. He has 2 kids with his ex, a daughter (7) and a son ( 4). I have no kids, nor do I want any. But I do love my step kids. They came to visit us after quite some time, as they couldn't come over during the lockdown.
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My stepdaughter, Kate\* (name changed) excitedly showed me a $5 bill with some glitter on it. She told me she had lost a tooth and her mom told her to place it under her pillow and the tooth fairy had left her the bill in exchange for the tooth. Now, my husband's ex is a good mom, and I really didn't expect her to feed her kids such illogical nonsense.
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I gently broke it to Kate that the tooth fairy is not real and it was m=her mo who placed the money under her pillow and she should thank her. Kate looked confused but after I explained to her that this tooth fairy stuff is just something adults make up, she seemed to understand.
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Later that day, I got an angry phone call from Kate's mom Shirley (name changed). She yelled at me for telling her daughter about the tooth fairy being fake and how dare I ruin her child's fantasy world. I told Shirley she was overreacting and that it's important for kids to know that they get gifts due to the kindness of other people, and fictional characters. She yelled at me some more about how I made her out to be a liar. I told her she was being ridiculous and hung up.
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She later called my husband and gave him an earful, but he stood by me and told Shirley to back off.
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AITA for doing something Kate's mother should have done? ###### | YTA. This wasn’t your place. Tooth fairy is kind of a cultural thing that clearly her mother was excited to share with her daughter. She even put glitter on the $5 for goodness sake. That shows care. You had no right to stamp all over that.
I bet you’re real fun around Christmas. You gonna tell her Santa is a myth too? Please don’t if you haven’t already. Once again, it’s not your place. ###### |
I know it's 100% my fault I left my glasses on the floor. I had 2000 things running in my mind, so to read stuff in small print I took them off and placed it on the floor next to the couch so noone could damage it. After wards, I saw what we had. Aka a fancy fit bit and new. I then ran to shower, as we returned from a days trip from DE and they said they aka ladies wanted to go out (in va).. Needless to say, someone kicked my glasses out enough my stepson stepped on it. I was mad(at myself). I went out solo because my only way to see was broken ($900 glasses). I came to accept my bad but then I return to my pc and I see the same kids treat my $300 headset like trash. I lost it. I told her that her kids lack basic common sense and cant even properly wash dishes from sink. Ive been nice enough to let their way glide but this was too much. There's a time for nice and a time to put them in place.
Needless to say, I'm the bad guy here for items worth $1200 if they break and my glasses did. She said take it all away from them, even pc access(my pc) but I feel that's extreme. I want them to learn to respect property Aside from theirs. But now I'm the asshole. I feel these kids lack a no kiss ass dad who tells them in a non aggressive way to change.
AITA? ###### | YTA. This post literally doesn’t make any sense. Also your comment that you put your glasses on the floor so they wouldn’t get damaged is asinine. The floor is where you put things where they WOULD get damaged. You sound super bratty and entitled and younger than your 13 year old stepchild. ###### |
Throwaway because my roommate uses Reddit. Anyway, this past weekend I moved with my gf into a new apartment with a friend of mine. I've moved a few times over the past couple years and I hate it every time. Now that I'm doing a little better in life I decided to hire movers to avoid some of the hassle of the larger items. My gf and I moved all of our smaller stuff (books, clothes, linens, etc.) over the course of the past couple weeks but I needed help moving all of our larger stuff so I hired some movers.
We picked up our moving truck and met the movers at our old apt. That's kind of where I ran into the predicament. We hired two movers and when they showed up, one was a female. I normally would be totally fine with this but I had already moved all of the smaller stuff to the new place and was mostly looking for help moving the big stuff like our couch, dressers, bed, etc.
I felt like I needed to spot her going up and down the stairs with the heavy stuff and it kind of negated the main reason I hired movers: saving time and worry. She didn't end up dropping anything in the end but it took some of my attention away from moving other stuff on what was a very hectic day moving two different apartments into one. I paid the two movers the same amount ($150 for 3 hours of work) and then this is where I got into an issue with my gf. I paid the male mover a $30 tip and the female mover a $20 tip.
My gf was pretty irate but I felt it was justified since I had to spend extra time worrying about the mover dropping anything during the move. She says I should have still paid them the same.
So I turn it over to you guys, AITA? ###### | YTA. This lady is a professional mover so she likely knows what she's doing better than you do. Bulky furniture doesn't even take herculean strength for two people to move regardless of their sex, I'm weak af and I can carry a couch or a bed easily with the help of another person. You assumed that she was weaker based on her gender and undercompensated her in comparison to her male coworker even though she didn't actually underperform like you thought she would. YTA YTA YTA. Women can lift stuff get over it. ###### |
This happened some time ago but I still think about it from time to time and would just like to know if I was the ah in the situation.
When I was 18 my parents decided to end their marriage of almost twenty years. They decided to release this information a bit before Christmas on my final year of high school.
The chaos that ensued and the poor behavior of people around caused the next half a year to be miserable. Divorces with children are always hard and my parents didn’t necessarily get along splendidly.
Because of their decision, I was under a lot of stress and it caused for me to not reach my goals with my final exams that are very important during applying for higher education. I basically failed all of them.
I judged my parents heavily for their timing. I was angry. Not only because they wanted a divorce, in my eyes that was inevitable, but because they decided to do it during the most stressful time of my life.
My parents didn’t share my view of them being even slightly responsible for me failing my final year and missing out on all the activities that happened and that I couldn’t attend because of the stress it caused.
I was very vocal about my opinion of them being selfish and self centered. It’s not like their marriage was ruined overnight so why make a decision like that right when their child is going through a very stressful time already? I was very angry and held it against them for a long time, I still do.
Was I the ah for demanding my parents to keep at it for another four months, just enough for me to do my exams? Was I the ah for demanding they pretend for the time and keep it just between them? ###### | YTA. This isn’t about you. I understand it was tough on you, but asking them to be miserable for a few more months so you could maybe do well on exams is a tough ask. ###### |
Let me just preface by saying I live with 5 other people. So, because of this we have different rules set in place to keep the house orderly and clean and whatever else. Some roommates including myself weren’t doing their chores on time. During one of our bi-weekly meetings my roommates wanted to have a rule set in place that whoever is late on their chore or doesn’t do it by Monday at 12 am has to pay a 10 dollar fine (note: I never agreed to this because I don’t always have the funds and it’s a stupid rule if you ask me). That money goes to the house utilities and will be divided so people have a few bucks (not even that much) off the utility bill.
Last night at 9:22pm (time is important because our deadline is 12) I texted my roommate who’s my friend and also the landlords son, that I wasn’t feeling well and asked to do my chore the next morning (today). He never responded so I went ahead and assumed all was good. The rest of my roommates are all saying I’m being a child for refusing to pay. I am adamant on not paying because it’s ridiculous and I legally shouldn’t have to pay any extra money than I already pay for for utilities and other things. I also want to add that I just lost my job and need to save all the money I can save as well as I did the chore as soon as I woke up the next morning.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. This isn't some random attempt to shake money out of people; it's an attempt to get people to do their chores so that other people don't have to either do them for them or put up with the consequences of the chores being undone. You're already taking things from other people without their permissions when you don't do your chores, whether it's their time, cleanliness, ability to use the dishes, or whatever. They're asking you to chip in the money because that gives you some skin in the game. Now they aren't the only ones who lose out when you choose not to do your chores in a timely fashion.
Would an ideal situation be you agreeing to this punishment jar? Semi-ideal. An actual ideal situation would be you doing your agreed tasks without having to be badgered and coerced into doing them. But the jar is probably the next step down from ideal. Just recognize that the step after that is coming home one day to your roommates telling you that you'll be moving out in a month, so accept the jar as the softer version and just do your chores well in advance. ###### |
At the local grocery store and in line at the deli. Several customers standing around waiting their turn. I go to get a ticket and pull number 27. They are now serving number 21. I step back patiently to wait my turn. They call and wait on No 22, and then 23. When they call number 24 no one steps up. Hmmm. Must have got bored and left. As they are getting ready to call number 25 I step up, drop my ticket, number 27, in the bin, and say. "A pound of corned beef please." They presume I am 24 and take my order. My wife says that I should just let them go on to the next number. Wait my turn. I say that if the next number was alert they would have stepped up before me. What do you think? ###### | YTA. This isn't how lines work. If you were in a physical line and the person three spots up left, would you have ducked in line ahead of the two people in front of you? ###### |
My 14yo son goes to a private high school. Very pricey and the vast majority of the families are loaded with money. Money is no object to them. My son happens to get a partial scholarship so I can afford his education.
A lot of the kids at his high school do a semester of studying aboard. Usually in Australia and Switzerland. My son's friends are going to do that in spring (yes, you can do this with the pandemic). My son begged me to let him go and I was open to it.
Until I saw the cost.
Over $10,000 to go to a Swiss high school for four months. I clearly do not have that kind of money. I don't want my son to feel ashamed about my not having the kind of money his friends' families do and I feel incredibly guilty about it. I don't want him to feel ashamed.
I told him to forget about it because he would get bored, it's too cold, his mother would have to sign off for legal reasons and I can't find her, etc. Anything but money.
I don't discuss my finances with my son. It's none of his business and that's why I don't tell him the truth. ###### | YTA. This is the perfect time to go over financial planning/management with your son. So many of my friends didn't have parents who taught them this and they ended up in horrible debt and taking on loans they couldn't afford. ###### |
I [19F] have been living with my boyfriend [18M] and his parents and his sister [18F] for a couple of months. His parents were out. His sister was sick. It got worse. She threw up on herself and hadn't showered in a couple of days. She was sweaty, dizzy, and weak. After she threw up on herself he helped her to the bathroom and put her in the bath tub. He stood there with a trash can when she threw up a couple more times while she washed up. He helped her out, held her up so she would not lose balance while she dried herself off (she was still naked and he was holding her!) and took her back to bed. I was already uncomfortable with him being with her while she was naked but I watched and noticed that when he helped her out of the bath, the entier side of her boob was pressed against his bare arm for like 10 seconds. It was obviously not intentional but it made me feel so uncomfortable.
After my bf dismissed my concerns, I told his parents what I saw. They are very conservative so I knew they wouldn't approve of him helping her in that way and I agreed with them in this situation. They were not happy. My boyfriend is now mad at me. Honestly I would not have even told them or cared that much if his arm hadn't made contact with her breast like that, that was just too much for me. It really crossed a line. ###### | YTA. This is a joke right? What was he supposed to do? Let her sit there with vomit all over herself until her mom got home to help? Why didn’t you offer to help if you were so uncomfortable? Jfc why are you sexualizing a sibling relationship ###### |
Throwaway
This happened last Christmas and I want to know if I am the asshole
Recently my daughter married and gained two step kids from her husband. she has been spending a lot more on those step kids than her own son because apparently my daughter thinks that step kid are being treated unfairly by my daughters side of the family as my daughters step kid does not have any family except from there father. There father does not make as much cash as my daughter.
I think this is unfair and sets up for a life time of thinking that the step kids in every situation will be fair. I told my daughter that she should split up the family funds evenly but my daughter refused. So during this Christmas I got my daughters child a brand new mac book and an expensive Iphone model. While the other child got multiple presents from the family. The step children did not get anything from my family. My step grand children where mad and told my daughter it's un fair. I came to them and I told them I don't give a f\*ck about them and that life is not fair and they should grow up.
My daughter immediately came and told me that she plans to sell the gifts that I got for my grand child and split up among everyone so it does not cause any problems. I was mad and told my daughter that I don't give a fuck about her step kids and that they need to learn life is not fair. My daughter became pissed and told me that I am going to be cut off from my grand sons life. The child I am biologically related to because I acted really mean to her step kids. So or telling my daughters step kid I don't give a fuck about them and there feelings ###### | YTA. This has to be a troll, right? No one would just be this randomly mean to kids, right?
If there are x number of kids in a family unit and you are giving gifts to them, don't give everything to only one of those kids. It's rude. They don't always have to be completely equitable, depending on just life and what the kids want/need, but it should be at least reasonably in the same realm of value. ###### |
My best mate Kyle and I have been friends since college. There is a group of 7 us who met playing Magic the Gathering and stayed very close, even though two moved away we still connect over online gaming etc. We're a very closenit group. EDIT: I am the only girl of the group, I am a 25F.
Kyle just got engaged to Sarah last month and they're planning to have a very small wedding in the fall, hopefully once everything opens up fully (we're in New Zealand where restrictions have been loosened quite a bit). But Kyle named all of the other group members as groomsmen. There were 7 of us total including Kyle, so he's got 5 groomsmen, and left me out. I was really hurt when the other guys asked me if I got Kyle's cool invitation, of Magic-themed cufflinks.
But then a few days later I got a package in the mail from Sarah. It was the same Magic design but a necklace, asking if I'd be one of her bridesmaids. I was livid. I think it's ridiculous that I can't stand on the side of my friend and have to stand on her side. And I also have a feeling that my friends told Kyle and Sarah I was pissed, so she asked me to make amends. I've never liked Sarah. She doesn't share Kyle's interests like that. When Kyle hosts tournaments she'll just stay in the living room with headphones on or work out in the garden, she NEVER tries to learn. She'll bring snacks and chat with us before and after the game, but during she just leaves. I honestly don't get it. Now all the guys get to go to his bachleor party, and do groomsmen things, and I have to miss all that and do the bachelorette and stuff with girls I don't even know. I'm honestly thinking of saying no, but then I think that would cause problems with Kyle.
TLDR: Would I be the asshole if I declined an offer to be a bridesmaid for my friend's fiance? ###### | YTA. This girl did your friend a favor. She was nice and wanted to include you, probably at the expense of not having one of HER friends or family members up there. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. However, if you turn down the request, you don’t get to whine about how you aren’t included.
Also, in response to your whining about how she isn’t interested in learning about it: It’s almost like a couple is allowed (nay, ENCOURAGED) to have separate interests and friends from their mutual interests and friends. ###### |
I have a 15 year old daughter, and a 25 year old stepdaughter. They did not grow up together and they don't like each other very much. My husband thinks his daughter is an absolute princess, so she can be something of a spoiled nightmare. SD has been married for a year and I always suspected my daughter had a crush on the man, which is totally normal, but I think SD picked up on it as well. This man is in his late thirties and has never once been inappropriate, but SD seems to think it is funny and will smirk at my daughter when she is with her husband. SD definitely thinks everyone is jealous of her.
Recently SD confronted us with a "love letter" written to her husband and signed with a fake name. SD said she trusts her husband and even if he did cheat he isn't into the sweet romantic type, so she thought the letter was a fake. I thought she was being insane but i confronted my daughter who broke down in tears. She wanted SD to think he was cheating and begged me to cover for her. I refused and I made her apologize to SD.
The thing is SD isn't really into social graces. I knew she was not going to thank her for apologizing or accept the apology or even act like a reasonable adult. SD smirked through the entire thing and then said ok and went home. My daughter cried after because she was so embarrassed. I feel like apologizing was the right thing, but I hate that I can't control SD and it kind of ruined the lesson. ###### | Yta. This entire post is you making excuses for your daughters bad behaviour. Your daughter was trying to ruin her sisters marriage. Your daughter needs to learn to behave far better! ###### |
My daughter and her husband (34 and 33 respectively) just went through a second failed IVF cycle.
At the realization that they failed yet again to become parents, her husband was devastated. They live in New York but he said he’s going to extend his business trip in South Beach and stay with a friend for a few weeks to catch up.
My daughter is asking me for money to get counseling. She recently lost her corporate job and her husband refuses to pay for counseling or go. The only available therapist that specializes in infertility counseling in her area is apparently out of network.
My daughter tells me that she doesn’t know when she can pay me back because her husband controls most of the finances.
And to be honest, I wasn’t sympathetic to her cause because when she was 21, she was pregnant and even her boyfriend at the time was a great man (unlike what we all think of her current husband) and intended raise the baby with her, she said that she didn’t want to “do this” with a 36 year old and aborted it.
All signs at the time pointed to a healthy pregnancy and we were all mentally prepared to help her through it and babysit it, and what she did upset a lot of people.
I do feel like she threw away the chance to be a mother because of her need for everything to line up and be perfect.
So I told her that I was really reluctant to spend a bunch of money to comfort her and assuage her feelings when she’s apparently forgotten that she had a healthy pregnancy but didn’t appreciate her expected child at that time.
And for that reason I don’t really want to give her the money and will not. AITA? I just don’t think there’s much more to accept than the fact that she had a chance before and she opted out of it, and because of that she has to accept she may never be a parent and move on from it, just like her father and I have had to, with no sympathy from her. ###### | YTA. This entire post is littered with absolutely terrible parental takes. I cannot believe you are so unwilling to support your own child through a period of turbulent mental health just because you can't be a grandparent like you wanted to. It sounds like the "need" for everything to "line up and be perfect" isn't your daughter's issue-- it's yours.
She was 21 when she was first pregnant. She was *barely* an adult, and yet you're expecting her to throw away her career/education (if she was in it at the time) to become a parent to someone fifteen years older? She *knew* the relationship was not going to work out, regardless of whether or not *you* wanted her to keep the child, as your daughter stated she didn't want a child with the man she was with. Why is that a hard pill for you to swallow?
Now, she's in a relationship that you don't approve of. Her husband "controls most of the finances" despite her having a job, too, and refuses to attend counseling or pay for his own *wife* to attend counseling. These might be red flags as to what type of relationship situation your daughter is in. Instead of being bitter over an event happening thirteen years ago, you should reach out and ask if everything is okay, and you should definitely help her pay for counseling.
You made her abortion *about you*. That's not cool, especially as her parent, someone that is supposed to help her through issues like this. Get over yourself and realize that your daughter is in need of help. She would not be asking you if she could do it on her own. Even if she *could*, she might need, I don't know, the support of her *fucking parents* just because that's something that people enjoy having for tough situations in life. ###### |
My husband and I have three children, Fern (5) Willow (3) and Sibyl who is 4months.
My husband for the past two years has been going to the gym, religiously for 4 days of the week (Sat, Sun, Tue and Wed) so he’ll get up at 4;40, jog to the gym which is about 30mins and then be back around 6;30.
His timing would be perfect if he didn’t have to be at work by 7;40, so he doesn’t have enough time to help me get the girls up and ready or give them breakfast.
He does dinner time/ bedtime/bath time and some of the housework on weekends but I feel like he should be here in the morning for the girls because they want to see him and he should want to help me.
I’ve asked him to go in evenings as I’d rather have his help in the morning which he says he can’t do because he won’t have the motivation then.
I’ve told him he needs to stop going because I’m struggling with three young children and an hour of the morning and two hours of the evening is the bare minimum he should do.
He’s agreed to stop going but keeps complaining about how stressed at work he is (he’s got to prepare for a promotion) and how it’s unfair he has to give up his only free time.
I think because he’s a dad it’s just a natural sacrifice of life but some of my friends think I’m being an asshole because it’s unfair on him but I personally think he’s being childish.
AITA? ###### | YTA. This dude wakes up at 4 to make sure he has free time to do what he enjoys and still tags you out at 6 so you can have a break AFTER working all day and is being told by you he isn’t doing enough? That’s not cool. If you don’t work and don’t like mornings you should adjust your schedule to make it easier on yourself instead of adding more to his work at home. You’re probably seeing this as an unreasonable setup because you don’t have a hobby and think that just because you both are parents all your time should be focused on the children’s wants and needs. Find something to do after 6. Try something else instead of nagging your husband out of misplaced frustration. ###### |
Hi, I know how the title sounds, but here's the story. One of my (23F) close friends (24F) is a fat woman. I think she is absolutely gorgeous inside and out, but she does struggle with obesity and losing weight and very serious self-image problems. She talks about it with our friend group very frequently, and I know her issues with self image have been quite debilitating in terms of her dating life. She's basically never been in a relationship, despite being a perfectly lovely, smart, ambitious, fun person.
Recently though, she met a new guy on a dating app and they really hit it off. They've been going on dates for about two months now and it seems like things are progressing quite well. We couldn't be happier for her because she really deserves it. On Friday, our group of friends went out for some drinks, and she was showing us pictures of him and telling us how she can't wait for us to meet him. That's when I blurted out "he seems great, and he's okay with your weight right?"
The table went dead silent and I realized how rude I sounded. I tried to backpedal and explain that I only brought it up because I know how much she has struggled (she literally talks about it ALL the time) and I wanted to make sure she's with someone who treats her well. She started tearing up and another friend said "dude that's super fucked up" and I tried to say they're kinda overreacting and that we were ALL thinking about it and just wanted to make sure she feels comfy in the relationship.
Anyways, that was Friday, it's now Tuesday, I've made several attempts to reach out to my friend and others in the group and they said they have no interest in talking to me for the foreseeable time. I'm really sad because these are my core best friends, and I am extremely lonely without them. AITA? What can I do? ###### | YTA. They’ve been dating for 2 months, obviously he’s okay with her weight. You’re just being a douche. I don’t blame your friends for not wanting to talk to you. ###### |
I (51m) married my wife (46f) six years ago. We now have four wonderful boys (5, 3, 2, 4months). I also have a stepdaughter, who I'll call Ellie, who is almost 15.
I have always gone running in the mornings, and often my favorite time for running is right when my youngest tends to wake up. My wife usually gets the kids up and gets them ready, but she works a night shift so I don't want her getting up two hours after she goes to bed.
To solve this problem, I decided that Ellie should help out more. She gets a pretty big allowance for doing not that many chores, and I figured giving the kids breakfast wouldn't be too hard for her.
Unfortunately, she has decided that 2am would be a wonderful time to go to bed, and therefore isn't up at 9 when the kids get up. She told me this, and I basically told her tough luck, she should go to bed earlier.
She said that my kids weren't her responsibility, and I should just take care of them myself. I reminded her that they were her siblings, and she should just go to bed earlier. I also reminded her that she receives a generous allowance, and that it could definitely be reduced. She says that she already does a huge amount of chores (she doesn't).
She absolutely refused, calling me a "selfish asshole" because I can't "quit running to take care of my children". The thing is, I wouldn't have to quit running if she would just grow up and help out a little.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. They’re not her kids. Why is she making meals for 4 toddlers while dad plays around outside? Why don’t you get up early to go for your run so you can take care of YOUR KIDS? Selfish, selfish selfish. & You sounds like you don’t like your stepdaughter, the way you talk about her vs the boys. ###### |
I (51m) married my wife (46f) six years ago. We now have four wonderful boys (5, 3, 2, 4months). I also have a stepdaughter, who I'll call Ellie, who is almost 15.
I have always gone running in the mornings, and often my favorite time for running is right when my youngest tends to wake up. My wife usually gets the kids up and gets them ready, but she works a night shift so I don't want her getting up two hours after she goes to bed.
To solve this problem, I decided that Ellie should help out more. She gets a pretty big allowance for doing not that many chores, and I figured giving the kids breakfast wouldn't be too hard for her.
Unfortunately, she has decided that 2am would be a wonderful time to go to bed, and therefore isn't up at 9 when the kids get up. She told me this, and I basically told her tough luck, she should go to bed earlier.
She said that my kids weren't her responsibility, and I should just take care of them myself. I reminded her that they were her siblings, and she should just go to bed earlier. I also reminded her that she receives a generous allowance, and that it could definitely be reduced. She says that she already does a huge amount of chores (she doesn't).
She absolutely refused, calling me a "selfish asshole" because I can't "quit running to take care of my children". The thing is, I wouldn't have to quit running if she would just grow up and help out a little.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. They’re not “her siblings” if she’s “your wife’s child” sorry fam but she’s either your kid and you care about her and your sons equally or you leave her alone as you clearly don’t like or care about her ###### |
I (48M) have a 16 year old daughter. According to her, she’s had issues with disposable pads and they supposedly “irritate” her and she thinks she gets an allergic reaction to them.
She’s heard of something called Thinx period underwear and she came to me and asked if I would be willing to order her a pair because they’re expensive. She also elected to share with me how her last period it was so bad she had to free bleed on her last days and that these would help with that. I’d never heard about them before and when I asked she said she heard about them from online and a story about a woman in a similar position to her and that these came highly recommended.
I told her no, because they cost too much. I told her that if she wanted a pair she could buy some herself. She protested and complained because she hasn’t had a job since quarantine and that these are a “necessity” so therefore I should help pay for them, and volunteered to pay half. I still refused because I didn’t see the point when there are perfectly fine disposable pads at the store. She went running to her mother and my wife is against me now and wants to order her a pair, but I said it’s my credit card and they can’t use it without my permission. AITA for this? ###### | YTA. They're like $40, ya miser. Buy your kid the period panties, admit you don't understand how periods work, and upgrade to overnight shipping as a way of apology. ###### |
I went to an old friend bday party, met some new people and some guy was telling me and two other girls that his baby mama is ugly. I automatically thought since babies usually have features from both parents that would mean he would be calling his own baby ugly and that what I said to him. Everyone looked at me, one girl said his baby is cute. I’m a pretty honest person and don’t care to lie to make someone feel good, people need to know the truth no matter how hurtful it is. So I automatically said not every baby is cute (in my head I know that I don’t find everybody in the world cute, so why would kids be any different). So the guy showed me a photo of his 6 month old son and said my baby is really cute.. look. I looked at the photo and looked back at him in silence. Everybody just looked at me like I was Crazy.
1). I don’t know why he would show me a photo of his baby after I said that comment, like I would automatically think his baby is so adorable.
2). If I see a baby that is absolutely adorable I would say that but if I don’t, I tend to keep my mouth shut like I did in that situation ###### | YTA. There are some things you just don't say in public. ###### |
Well yeah...so I have a pug who’s turning 12 next week. About a month ago I asked one of my coworkers who has a side business baking custom artistic cakes if she could make one for “my baby.” By which I actually meant my dog who I affectionately refer to as my baby. I thought she knew this.
It doesn’t help that my dog has a very human name. So when I commissioned the cake I guess she fully thought that this was for a human child. Anyways this past weekend we were texting about cake flavors. I asked her if we could make it low fat/low sugar. She asked if my kid is diabetic and I just said oh no I just don’t think dogs should eat a full-fat cake.
She didn’t reply for a while then called me and was like what dog? I told her it’s for my dog’s birthday party and she said forget it I’m not baking for a dog. I told her I already prepaid and it’s now too late for me to commission a new cake so I’d appreciate it if she just made it since it’s her job.
Long story short, we ended up arguing and I threatened to post bad reviews on her cake business’s site if she cancels on me last minute. It’s not like I’m asking her to come up with a brand new dog-specific recipe, just cut down on sugar and dairy so it’s better for my elderly dog. She takes this as a huge insult apparently despite the fact that I’m paying the full price. AITA? ###### | YTA. There are people out there that specifically bake things for dogs. She bakes cakes with standard ingredients for humans. Her business isn’t tweaking things to make them more palatable for dogs, it’s perfecting her recipe for human tastes.
You’re both an idiot and an asshole. If you leave her “bad reviews” that say “wouldn’t change her recipe to make it for dogs” people will laugh at you. ###### |
(This all happened pre-pandemic btw). I am a single mother to two kids 14f and 2m. My daughter has been struggling a lot recently especially since myself and her stepdad (my son's father) split, because he was more of a dad to her than her bio dad. She's been increasingly unreasonable since then, plus she's a teenager.
One Friday I arranged to take my daughter and her friend to the cinema after school. At lunchtime that day she called and asked me to bring tampons with me when I picked her up since she'd started her period and used up her emergency supply. Half way to pick up her and the friend from school, I realised I had completely forgot to grab some from her at home stash, so I took a quick detour to the store. The problem was that the store only had the store brand in stock, not the brand she prefers. I just grabbed the store brand in a hurry thinking they would do.
When I gave them to her, all hell broke loose. She demanded I either go to a different store or drive home so she could get some. I told her no. There was no time because after dropping her at the cinema I had to go straight to my son's daycare to collect him and drop him at his dad's (who had custody that weekend). She argued with me the whole way to the cinema. Eventually I got sick of it, stopped outside a store and told her to get out and buy her own if she cared that much. I also told her she could walk to the cinema (about 20 minutes from where we were) because I wasn't going to go out of my way for someone so ungrateful.
She calmed down, and we have since made up. But it was a big fight at the time, and when I told my ex about it whilst dropping off my son, he said I should have at least given her the money for them. AITA? ###### | YTA. There are a variety of reasons for a particular brand to be more comfortable or work better, and you are supposed to be the grownup. ###### |
so this just happened like an hour ago during my online class....
During the class, the lecturer briefly explained that we are having another upcoming assignment which due like in 5 days. So, the whole class started to panic/worry since we’ve been catching up with tons of assignments this week. and then there’s me trying to spice things up by sending the ‘Rick Astley- Never Gonna Give You Up’ Youtube Link on the chat and saying its the assignment answer. Of course, i solely trying to make a joke and make everyone smile/laugh.
Little did i know, the responses given ‘you should have been jailed, electric chair on you, yadayada’. I was like its not that bad until i saw this comment saying “you are a clown, who does anything for ‘likes’”. The moment i saw it, i feel pretty terrible and horrible. I don’t know if they don’t understand the joke or they are really hating on me lmao
tl;dr i rickrolled my whole class and now everyone hates me. ###### | YTA. Their responses make it seem like they have been fed up with your behavior for a while, or you timed it very poorly. My point is your classmates responses make it seem like you behave this way regularly and they're done with it, or they don't appreciate the excess stress you put on them with your "joke". It's also part of knowing your audience. I've made this joke before via fb and messenger so ultimately you need to know your audience which clearly you did not. ###### |
So long story short my ex and I were living together and we broke up. She hadn't moved all her stuff out, including furniture, kitchen appliances, etc. We had a very sudden and explosive breakup and she packed up her clothes, makeup, and other essentials and moved in with her brother. So her brother called me and asked me if he and my ex could come to move out all her stuff. It had been a while since we broke up because she didn't have a place for her furniture because it took a while to find housing because of the pandemic. Problem is, I had already thrown out a few small things like a coffee maker, some souvenirs from her study abroad trip, her vacuum, etc. I was like okay whatever. Her brother asked me if they could do it while I wasn't there because she really didn't want to see me and he couldn't do it alone because he didn't know what was hers and what was mine. I said that was fine and trusted them to be honest and left my house. She still had a key. So they move all the stuff out and I find a key on the table.
That evening I'm trying to relax and I find that my N64 is gone! I am furious and I call her brother who doesn't answer the phone and has my number blocked. She and I went halvsies on the N64 and she had bought some of the games for me for my birthday. I was so mad when I discovered it was gone and that they stole it and even worse intentionally cut off all means of communications with me so I couldn't respond to them. So I call the police and tell them that there was a home robbery and I need them to get my stuff back. The cop tells me there is nothing they can do and not call back. My friend tells my I'm an asshole because my ex is black and calling the police on them could have been fatal. So reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. The things you threw out were small and petty and some, like the souvenirs, are irreplaceable. You admitted it’s taken long to find a place due to the pandemic so you likely just didn’t want to see that stuff and the reminders of her.
I don’t know the value of what you tossed vs what they “stole” from you but you both are wrong. And how do we know the N64 wasn’t both of yours?
You calling the police and claiming to have been robbed is completely wrong since it’s not at all true and could’ve escalated when again, you started by throwing her stuff out! ###### |
My daughter was in 6th grade a while back and her teacher would grade assignments on expression, grammar and quality. She wrote a poem about Thanksgiving and she got a "B" on expression, "A" for grammar, and "A-" for quality. She was bothered by the "B" on expression and I said, "I think it's because you didn't write you were thankful for family."
My daughter then connected with her former writing teacher and her writing teacher said it was because her rhymes were not very relevant and awkward sounding. We got into an argument and I said, "Yeah, the rhymes are awkward, but any teacher would ding for not saying that you're thankful for family because it's so fundamental." So AITA? ###### | YTA. The teacher clarified what happened. You shouldn't have assumed in the first place, and you certainly shouldn't have insisted when the teacher said otherwise.
Piece of advise here: trying to same a child into expressing gratitude for the family in this way can easily have the opposite effect in the long term. Your kid shouldn't feel under obligation to write about the family when they don't want, and certainly not via shaming them.
ETA: You owe your child an apology. ###### |
My husband and I have got 3 kids, 4, 7, and 11. All boys, so you can imagine the terror. I’m basically at the end of my rope after months of “virtual learning.” They’re not learning anything beyond fighting each other and causing messes.
So my husband works really long hours and I’m a SAHM. The ridiculous thing is that in the past 2 months we’ve spent over $900 JUST buying new Switches. Yep, they keep breaking each other’s consoles in retaliation over other stuff, and as a result we’ve had to buy 3 new ones just to replace the broken ones.
It’s not perfect and it is ridiculous, but you know what I’m stressed out with all of them home and the Switch is one of few things that keeps them calm and occupied for most of the day. It’s not perfect but nothing else works after so many months of boredom.
Well it’s happened again a few nights ago. My youngest broke ANOTHER one (threw it from the second story) and in retaliation his brother broke his. Now they’re crying and screaming and I’ve had to go to my husband to tell him we need to buy 2 new ones once again. He blew up at me and said no, we’re not buying anymore and they can just deal with not gaming.
The thing is I can’t have them not having these damn things and causing me more trouble. I get that they shouldn’t be repeatedly rewarded for bad behavior, but I also shouldn’t be punished for this when I’m at the end of MY rope too. My husband doesn’t want to buy anymore but I told him the end result of that is me getting even more work to keep them out of trouble. We’ve been having fights nonstop.
AITA to want to keep buying Switches even after my kids break them? ###### | YTA. The reason they treat these hundred dollar Switches like they’re replaceable is because you’re replacing them. This is how you enable their behavior and encourage it to continue. ###### |
Okay so I remember when I was at the gym one day and I was looking for a song on Spotify to jam out to while my workout routine. This lady started circling around me and pretending to look at her watch (she doesn’t have one LMAO) and she finally went up to me and was like “Can I use this machine because you’re not using it and ur on your phone young lady? People like me are waiting” and I said “okay Karen, if you insist” and got up ###### | YTA. The person sitting around hogging the gym equipment is the entitled one in this situation. Not the woman politely asking you to move. ###### |
I have a 20 year old daughter. Shes always struggled badly with her mental health, all stemming from her dad passing away when she was 7. The way she’s always dealt with this is eating. Last year she went through a stage where she’d stay home from university simply to order a McDonalds, and this happened every day without my knowledge. Somehow she’s not massively overweight, just a bit podgy.
I also have a 17 year old son, and they get on really well. My son eats the entire house and puts no weight on and is an avid gym goer. Quite often he’ll ask my daughter if she wants to get takeout, and most of the time she says yes.
Last night he asked her if she wanted to get a dessert from a local dessert takeout. She, of course, said yes and ordered an XXL Brownie Waffle and a huge bottle of full fat coke. When it arrived I took the coke and told my son to tell her it hadn’t came. He told her I had it.
She storms downstairs all guns blazing and demands I give her the coke. She’s shouting and asking why I think it’s okay to tell her what she can and can’t eat. We get in a huge argument before she storms back upstairs. About ten minutes later I go upstairs to go to bed, and she calls me into her room. She says “you do realise I’m 20 right, why do you think you can dictate what I eat” and I, out of pure frustration, said “because if I didn’t you’d just keep going and fucking going” and walked out. She kept calling me to come back but I didn’t and went to bed.
I’ve woken up to her having taken the handle off her door so I can’t get in and not talking when I ask her to open it. When I text her asking her to eat she replies “oh I didn’t realise I was allowed to eat now” and just being snarky. I was just trying to protect her from herself. AITA? ###### | YTA. The only thing you're gonna achieve with this is her having an eating disorder. You are JUST LIKE my family, et voila, 2 years ago I had some nice little anorexia. If she's not overweight, than apparently she's eating the amount her body needs. And as long as she's not life threateningly obese, it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what she eats, when and how. ###### |
I helped nominate a colleague for a prize in our field in late 2019. He was made up about the nomination. The award is to do with management and leadership. However in recent months he has really dropped the ball about managing the company during COVID-19 causing lots of his employees including me stress and anxiety about the pressure to come into the workplace despite the stay-at-home orders and infection rates in our state (ME) and choosing between potentially losing out jobs or putting our families at increased risk. I was mad at the idea of him winning this prize for excellent management when his management had caused some real damage this year, so I sent a confidential email to the prize organizer to say that I made the nomination but became increasingly uncomfortable about it for the reasons above and wouldn’t have made the nomination again today with that hindsight. I know it’s been a really tough year for business and he’d be very upset if he found out, but I feel like I did the honest thing. AITA? ###### | YTA. The nomination was for a past year which you said the manager excelled in. I think it is unfair to retract based on the managers performance in a new year. I assume there will be nomination for this year and you can choose not to nominate him. ###### |
So I'm a guy, and I've never been catcalled.
I was having a conversation, and the topic came up. One of the girls said to the guys specifically, 'you wouldn't enjoy it if you were catcalled'. I said, 'well, it depends, but if some girl were to make a comment about my body looking good or whatever, I would probably like that. Like I spend a lot of time and effort on making sure I look good, it would be nice to know that's noticed and appreciated'.
This pissed her. Idk why. She made an incorrect statement that assumed how guys would feel about a situation, and as a guy, I corrected her with my personal view on the matter.
AITA? ###### | YTA. The difference is multifold:
1. You don’t expect to get cat called;
2. As women, the general assumption is that we would be overpowered by a man and you likely don’t feel that way;
3. There haven’t been stories that you’ve probably heard by the dozen about women getting assaulted physically, sexually, and verbally for ignoring cat callers.
The fact is, if you’re a cis male, this is something you really just don’t understand ###### |
So this one is a bit trickier than the headline suggests. I’m getting married next summer and about a month ago I made an appointment to try on wedding dresses. My friend (and would be maid of honor) was there when I made the appointment and agreed to be there. I don’t have too much family or a large friend group so she would’ve been the only person from my side of the wedding at this appointment.
Yesterday (6 days before the appointment) she texts me and says she won’t be able to make it because her dad was *recently* diagnosed with cancer and her step mom is planning a surprise weekend for him. Mind you, she is what I consider a close friend, so I’m surprised to be hearing about this development for the first time while she’s cancelling on me.
Now, I do understand why she wouldn’t be able to make it, but obviously I’m sad she won’t be there for my appointment. I replied, “I’m super disappointed you won’t be there, but I understand”.
Immediate reply, “My dad has cancer.”
As this happened on a Sunday, I was out bringing groceries to my grandmother and didn’t look at my phone for a couple hours. When I did see her message, I responded “that’s awful, I’m sorry. I understand why you can’t make it”, only to find that I am blocked on the phone as well as all social media. My fiancé is blocked and her boyfriend also blocked both of us. Hell, she even blocked me on her dogs insta page.
I’m still trying to figure out if IATA but I really don’t think I am. I get that her family thing is super important, but I’m allowed to be sad my friend is going to miss an important thing in my life, right? This all seems like a huge overreaction to me. After 8 years of friendship, this is BONKERS. AITA here?? ###### | YTA. The correct response was: OMG I’m so sorry to hear that about your dad! Of course being with your him for the weekend is more important than my dress appointment. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. ###### |
Just to be clear she has seen the kids. My husband put his foot down and since she isn't super close to the kids I don't have a problem with it. My MIL doesn't like me very much and she would rather not be close to my children and not babysit than have to follow any rules. In general we just don't have anything in common and if she wasn't family she isn't someone I would ever talk to.
We had to stay at their house for a few days because we had some flooding and MIL had a friend over. I was not ease dropping but I'd cooked for my kids and I was cleaning the kitchen, while they were in the living room and it is an open kitchen (I don't think she knew I was in there) MIL's best friend was saying how someone she knew gave a kidney to their boss, and she said that is so nice but she would never do that for someone she wasn't super close to. MIL agreed. The friend said I'd do it for you and my husband and fuck everyone else. MIL said that when you get older you lose tolerance for fake relationships and then she said "the only people I really love are FIL, you, and my brother"
I was floored that she didn't include my husband or my kids. I confronted her the next day and asked if she meant that. MIL just kind of shrugged and said sometimes you chose your own family. She tried to backtrack and she said she might do it in the situation, but really she doesn't feel that same closeness and her best friend is more family to her than my kids. I told her that she is evil and doesn't deserve to ever her her grandchildren again. My husband thinks I shouldn't have said that and I have to understand it is a 30 year friendship. ###### | YTA. The conversation you heard was in reference to giving someone a Kidney! Your MIL was basically saying that she has a short list of people whom she cannot love without and your family isn’t on that list. Big whoop. Even relationships within families can be nuanced. Your MIL seems to act accordingly to her feelings I.e. she’s not overbearing or controlling. This is one kind of healthy relationship. You don’t get to dictate how she feels about you as long as she is respectful and nice. You sound like a future r/justnoMIL case in the making. ###### |
Here is a light aita for you guys. It's to settle a years long argument between my sibling and I.( Don't worry we love each other and the story is more amusing than anything)
Years ago, my older sister(25) and I(18) were on a family holiday at an amusement park. She bought a cinnamon roll for us to split. We shared it by taking turns unrolling a bit, tearing it off, and eating it.( It was one of those large swirly ones). Finally it was down to the core of the cinnamon roll and it was my turn. I didn't want to eat all of it so I decided to bite it in half, from the top.
To this day my sister maintains that I'm a monster for biting the "objectively best part" and I maintain that I was being kind by leaving her half even though it was my turn. So, reddit, AITA? ###### | YTA. That’s the equivalent of cutting a middle piece from an uncut batch of brownies. 😂 ###### |
My daughter is 17 and ever since she was 11, she's had an entrepreneurial spirit. She would setup stands, get in trouble at school for sealing things to classmates, etc. It's never really been a problem.
Recently she's been working really hard on some side hustles along with her job. I didn't really understand what she was doing but thought it was just a little extra money on the side.
One day she sat me down and should me her paypal account. The balance read somewhere in the excess of $150,000.
I was absolutely floored by it, I won't get much into it but I interrogated her and made sure it wasn't anything illegal. Other than her having to lie about her age, the money was clean. Then I took all the money and put it into a savings account. I'm going to use some of it to pay for college and the rest goes to me and my wife.
My daughter is upset that I took all the money. But I just feel like I made the responsible choice. She doesn't know what to do with all that money. From now on her mother and I will be closely monitoring her accounts and take all money that comes to. But AITA? ###### | YTA. THAT’S NOT YOUR MONEY. This is **stealing.** I get it if you put it all into HER savings, but neither you or your wife have any RIGHT to her own money that she made herself. This is very selfish and toxic behavior, under the guise of profiting from your daughter. Shame on you. ###### |
My step sister doesn't have a strong or sexy female role model in her life. Our relationship has its ups and downs, but on several occasions she's admitted she wants to learn more from me about make up, clothes and the like. Her mom is a pretty sleazy character and I have no idea why my dad's with her. Still, I can't let her go because of that, my step sis is 17 and I'm 21, so we're like sisters, right?
I decided to surprise her and give her this gift as a subtle nudge to getting her to start presenting herself a little better. She hasn't had a single boyfriend, and is always the wayward anti-social depressed person which I think is a terrible look for her and not doing her mental health any wonders. I hoped this would maybe get her excited about taking care of things and feeling sexy and attractive. I know she has a couple of boys she crushes on .. hard! Maybe this would get her started.
Unfortunately the kid ratted on me, told her mom (my step mom) and now it's become a big thing in my family. Luckily I don't live with my dad or them, and I'm with my mom (who luckily gave me a strong female role model .. she's amazing!) so I don't have to deal with the drama day-to-day. But they're accusing me of sending her the wrong message and this is the text that really hurt me "put her on a path to being shallow and slutty, like you are" which was a total below the belt hit. My mom just chalks it up to jealousy and thinks I did the right thing giving that poor girl a chance to get out of that funk.
AITA here? ###### | YTA. That’s not encouragement to take care of herself, it’s criticizing her.
A nudge would have been taking her to get some makeup and some tips at Sephora or going clothes shopping or surprising her with getting her hair done. What you did was pointing out flaws, not encouraging strengths. ###### |
Bf and I are planning our wedding. One thing we thankfully share in common is our distaste of jewellery. It makes us cringe whenever we're around metal accessories hanging on someone's body. Whenever I hug someone wearing a necklace I hate feeling the metal on me.
So my bf and I NEVER wear jewellery. The only exception is our wedding rings, which we are actually considering against.
So we basically want to make our wedding jewellery-free. The only exception is rings, and that is allowed only on married guests. Any other jewellery such as bracelets and necklaces is not allowed. Only one stud ear piercing on each ear is allowed; no other visible piercings are allowed. ###### | YTA. That's petty and controlling as hell ###### |
My brother's son is 20, and he lives about 30 minutes drive away from our area. My brother and his wife separated about 3 years ago, and he moved out of the country, while my nephew stayed here with his mother and brother. When the breakup happened, all of our side of the family tried not to take sides, as there was infidelity involved - we didn't want to cut off my brother, but we also didn't want to see them stuck.
We(the extended family) helped them find a new house and gave them some furniture and such to get them restarted. Personally I did a lot of driving back and forth to their area as well, dropping off people and bits to help them. Since then, we haven't really seen much of them, but we bump into them from time to time at family functions.
Last year we were at one such function (i can't remember what it was), and they were all there. Since we'd last seen them, our daughter had been born, and the nephew came out with the observation "Oh, I'd forgotten you guys had a baby". It wasn't anything offensive, but I was a little pissed off that he had forgotten the existence of my daughter - we had been there a lot for them in a tough time, and I don't think it was much to at least expect that.
Fast forward to this week - his birthday had been earlier in the week. Since all the kids in the extended family had gotten over the age of 16, we usually just tended to stick £50 in a card and that was usually the end of it. This year for said nephew, I decided not to send him a card, or indeed wish him a happy birthday. The next day I got a call from his mum asking why I hadn't sent a card - to which I replied "oh I forgot it was his birthday". She knew I was lying, and called me an asshole, saying that he was just a young boy. I retaliated, saying that he is old enough to know that he has a new cousin, and that I was offended that she had been completely forgotten.
So, AITA? ###### | YTA. That's just petty.
You send all the kids in the extended family a birthday remembrance, not based on your personal relationship but on the fact that you're related. But for this one, you base his gift on a different criteria. An offhand comment made over a year ago that wasn't even that offensive, considering that you rarely see each other. ###### |
So my mom died when I was 13 and my dad liked to drink and some jerk called CPS. So they took me and put me in a foster home and it was awful, I just wanted my dad. I had to live their for 6 months and was so depressed I failed my classes and had to make up a year when they finally let me go home, because my dad was actually a good dad . I still get scared when anyone knocks on my door and have nightmares about being taken away in the night , and severe anxiety and stuff. I begged this woman to let me go home to my nice house with a pool and a dad who loved me but she made me stay with these other 3 girls who were horrible and had issues and hated me because they were poor. So anyway I saw her, I am 18 now and she can't do anything. She was at the grocery store and said hi and I told her " don't say hi to me, especially if you are still ruining kids lives like you ruined mine" I said this loud and everyone stared and she cried. My friend said I should have just ignored her but I think she deserved it. Some of my other friends think so too. AITA? ###### | YTA. That lady didn't decide on her own to remove you from your father's home. That's not how CPS works. Sounds like your dad's drinking is a bigger problem than you knew, and you have some anger issues, possibly stemming from your mother's death. I think you need some help dealing with your grief. Seek counseling ASAP. ###### |
I applied for a job recently but had to attend the interview with a cane because I injured myself when I randomly slipped and fell down a flight of stairs earlier in the summer. Which sucked because I was planning on having the most epic summer ever...
Anyway, I got the job but I suspect it’s because they thought I was actually handicapped, not just injured, and felt pity. They even gave me access to my own private, handicap accessible, bathroom. Which, if I’m being honest, I really enjoy.
I didn’t have the guts to come clean so now I’m just leaning into my new identity as the handicapped guy at the office. It’s kind of cool, I find people are generally nicer to me if they think I’m handicapped. Plus I’d hate to lose my private bathroom.
They even said they’d provide me with a motorized scooter, the kind old people use at the grocery store, to help me get around the office. I’m thinking I could really get used to this. AITA? ###### | YTA. Taking accommodations meant for people with disabilities and treating them as job perks is pretty gross. ###### |
I know this sounds bad, but please hear me out.
My son is doing terrible in school. He is barely passing most of the subjects and just failed an important math exam yesterday. I am extremely disappointed in him. The thing is, he studies, I always see him studying in his room and he did follow my rule of playing xbox only 1 hour per day during school days and 2 hours in weekends. The problem is, I am sure he isn’t studying properly. He is constantly looking at the time waiting for it to pass while daydreaming thinking about what he should do in Minecraft today or in whatever other games he plays. This is not ok, and I realized that the only way to stop this is if I no longer allow him to play on his xbox. Since he is most likely failing math and will be doing summer school I decided to donate the xbox to charity. He’s obviously upset about it and he even posted about what I did on Facebook which made me receive tons of criticism from my relatives. I made him take the post down and made him delete all his social media accounts.
​
What do you guys think? Do you think I am the asshole for giving him such a harsh punishment even though he always followed the house rules? ###### | YTA. Take it away and hide it. And maybe HELP HIM. All I hear is “he isn’t studying right so I’m going to punish him”. Sit down with him and see what’s he struggling with. ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We were both pretty straight edge but over the years I’ve began experimenting more with drugs. She hasn’t. I don’t do anything crazy - weed, shrooms, coke, mdma.
She hates that I do it and was complaining again about it today. She thinks it’s far too dangerous and I’m likely to overdose and die.
I said it’s about as dangerous as her hobby, which is cave diving. She’s been doing it a few years. It’s that scary BS where people swim in underwater caves. She’s spent a lot of money on the gear.
I hate it, I think it’s too risky and I get anxious every time she goes. I think she’s more likely to die than I am.
She keeps bugging me to dive with her and I said fine, if you do mdma with me. She got mad and said it’s different.
AITA? Legalities aside I don’t see a difference in risk or likelihood of death. ###### | YTA. Stop justifying your dangerous behavior, period. It's making you do [ridiculous stuff ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ijj88y/tifu_by_sending_porn_to_a_ton_of_people_while_high/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), for one thing. But the idea that regularly doing coke and E isn't doing 'anything crazy' is completely ludicrous and demonstrates that you are way in over your head and need help.
Cave diving might be risky but it's on an entirely different level than being an addict. ###### |