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EPITOME_pairs2

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I shouldn't be alone.. Starting to feel like it's inevitable. I don't trust myself to be alone. In Minneapolis.

I feel your inner turmoil and pain. I'm not sure of your age or history but I was married for 14 years (no children) and have lived on my own the last eight. It hasn't been easy. It's not fun. There were times I didn't trust myself alone and I recognized that I needed to take steps to help myself so I sought out therapy and it has been helping tremendously (both the one-on-one therapy and resulting meds). Do you have a therapist? Do you have access to one? If so I highly recommend going. It's one of those things that carries almost no risk - it can only help.

I'm just always so god damn bored. There's nothing I want to do, I don't enjoy anything anymore, so I just occupy myself with meaningless bullshit to help the time pass. It makes life feel so pointless.

Are you my doppelganger? I feel the same way. Even is boring.

I cry myself to sleep every night.. I just want it to end. It's too much

Don't worry friend, rant all you want if it helps. I'm here for you.

Tomorrow I turn 22 years old but today I woke up with suicidal thoughts.. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm okay and that my life will get better but it's not.

Hey i feel ya, today is my 20th bday, Im drunk in the middle of the day and thinking how to end everything asap

Alcoholism is taking over. blew my life savings on drugs before not trying to do it again. Not a lot of options at this point. Prescribed benzos for anxiety which really helps but at the same time constantly tempted to do more.. I want harder shit too but really trying to just be normal

I always hated alcohol, but started drinking about a year ago.. I was way too drunk after two beers already, but nowadays I can down a 0,7l 16% in an hour and just feel the misery go away for a bit. I used to smoke weed, but that only made me lazier and more depressed. I now have an amphetamine addiction and recently tried meth for the first time neglecting my girlfriend, stealing from my dad just to be high alone... all to fill the void Drugs make everything worse, but sometimes I feel like they are the only things that put a little bit of excitement into my body.

Not good enough to be depressed?. Does anyone else ever feel guilty because their problems aren't as big as other people's problems so they shouldn't be depressed? I feel this heaps and it just makes me feel worse, feel like I'm stuck in between.

everyone has problems, big or small, Whatever it is, its still a problem. Yes there is a certain degree of separation but dont think for a second because someone else is suffering more than you, That you have no right to express yourself. So what's the matter? do you want to talk about it? Were here for you :) Don't feel shy or embarrassed. Just remember one thing, If you allow this problem or problems to dwell for a long time, It will become worse.

I feel like everyone will be better off without my negative energy around them. My depression relapsed after a year and its even worse this time around.

I was getting better around last November after 2 years of being a shut in. I got a job, moved out and on with my life, and was doing good. I started to decline about 4 months ago. I'm back to where I was. I moved back. No more job. No more new friends. The only thing that keeps me going is that this right now won't be forever. It's for now and it's so debilitating. I leave my bed to use the restroom, grab something to eat back in bed, and thats it for last week at my just getting here lowest points. And over time the time spent like this will get shorter and the time spent on that high curve will go longer and farther. I don't feel that in any way. I'm lucky to have had a decade of therapy to make me feel like I know it tho. Doesn't change the feeling at all but gives me a shred of hope to hang onto. I'm really sorry you feel that way mate. Some people don't do well with that kinda energy but there are a lot who will not care too and help you with their energy. My dad is neutral and doesn't care, but can't really help. My mother won't even be around me when I'm down. Even told me she can't stand it. Just having the 2 people I have right now for when I am down tho helps me a lot. Pm me if you ever wanna chat about whatever. Your energy doesn't affect mine.

I'm not okay and I'm not going to be okay.. I've never been okay before. It's all pointless.

Sometimes, I feel like this is okay though. The not being okay. I think there's this expectation we all have just because everyone else and everything around us shows this picture perfect life that is normal. Also, I get to the opinion sometimes that when none of it matters, it's actually the most liberating, because then I am truly free of my worldly concerns. I don't know. Silver lining and framing and all that jazz. Best of luck, friend.

there's nothing wrong with being selfish when you are depressed. it really isn't. so fuck those people who call you selfish

Not as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others

Someone jumped in front of a train near my house and I can't help feeling jealous.. I wish I could be that brave.

I'm from Germany, so waiting for the fucking train is no option, would more likely freeze to death waiting

Anybody else's depression occur only at night?. Sun falls, and my bad thoughts race. 8pm is when I take my anti-depressants. Maybe that is a factor?

I'm not sure I can say I have depression but yeah, during the day I'm too busy.

Just started taking Zoloft today; antsy as fuck. I cannot sit or lay still!!! Is this normal and/or will it go away?

This was the reason I stopped taking Zoloft. In hindsight it was still better than the depression so I might go back on it soon.

Shower Thought. The number one point of life is to live,so if you're still here,you are doing it right. (something i tell myself when I feel down)

You have a long shower to on bad days. My mind always starts thinking a bunch of things too.

Losing all hope.. I've been depressed for few years now but I've always had hope that I will get better and get rid of it. I've cut off everything toxic from my life for almost a month now and honestly I've been getting worse. Does anyone else feel like there's no escape?

ive lost hope im just numb now

Isn't it just suck to open up to someone and that person makes everything about themselves as the subject?. I should've kept inside and die a little.

Yup. I have since ceased trying to open up to people. I jam all of my feelings down deep inside and when they start to simmer over, I drink. In a sick way, I think this is a lot better than constantly being dismissed, rejected, invalidated and outright abandoned by other humans.

I always feel like I don't deserve nice things... I've met some new people and they've been really nice to me but I always feel weird and like I'm not deserving of that... I'm tired of feeling like this

Try self affirmations. Tell yourself nice things about yourself, even if you believe them. I tried probably 20, but landed on brave. People like me. Im Maybe even write them down on a sticky note and put it on your mirror.

Anyone else feel like a monster all the time. sinned, a gross shithead, and changed but if everyone knew who I really was wish I was dead.

Unless you've killed, raped or tortured someone I don't see why you're any worse than the rest of us. We're all fucked, some just learn to accept how fucked we are tbh

I Don’t Want to Hang Out with Anyone. just come back from school, and I really feel like hanging out with anyone because I feel as though no one wants to spend time with me, and I feel like if I ask, they do it out of pity...was curious if anyone felt the same way

I also struggle with this...whenever I hang out with people, I feel like they can do so much better than me and I wonder why they bother hanging out with me. I wish I knew the answer to avoid feeling this way

I'm going to a therapist tomorrow. first time. really scared. any advice?

Don't be afraid, whoever is your therapist has nothing in their mind other than helping you. Make sure to open up to the therapist and tell them how you really feel. This will make finding strategies and solutions much easier for the therapist, and you just might find out a few things about yourself :) Good Luck

I'm drunk and fuck and want to die. For real is the secret.to suicide getting drunk? I gotta do this eventually

A lot of people turn to drinking alcohol to escape from feeling shit, to feel better or feel like nothing matters, the first 2 maybe 3 drinks kind of gives us a 'who cares' attitude, but when we keep drinking, it does make us feel more vulnerable and fragile, making us emotionally worse, Ive done this many times. What do you like doing? what do you like spendin your time on? movies? tv? games? being creative? could be anything, what is yours?

Killing myself one cigarette at a time. Cause why the hell not, its the only thing that helps me gets through the day and sooner or later it'll kill me. win win.

me too, I can go without quite easily, but I choose to smoke like a chimney because at least it provides some sense of calm.

What does it take?. When you are in a rut, or have been depressed for a bit what can you do that helps?

I have to kickstart my ass into getting out of the house. Go to a museum, arboretum, take a walk somewhere. Once I get going, it's okay for a few hours. But that only works when I don't wake up and start drinking. Sometimes when I come back home it's the same old despair all over again.

Visiting hometown feeling sad as hell. Been here for a month now and i just feel empty i need help

Could you tell us more? visiting my hometown too and I kind of have an... uneasy feeling with it too. Feels like I achieved anything since I left home and is still the same weak and shy little guy. But at the same time I also grew estranged with my hometown and my friends and family over here. Idk if that even made any sense but hey have an internet hug buddy the least I could do

Poetry. I need to feel warm Not to feel alone I need to stop the harm And melt my heart of stone

I like poems (but the ones I write are bad). Do you have any more you want to share with the world?

Does getting a compliment just make you feel even worse about yourself?. When I graduated high school and was reading parents card to me and how proud and hopeful they were for my future it just made me want to cry. only gotten worse since then.

Yeah. Because i'm always sure they make fun of me and that i must look really horrible today.

Feeling extra suicidal today. pinpoint exactly how feeling. I just know I no longer want to be here.

I don't want to be here either after 25+ years of this bullshit. 4 suicide attempts later though I've realised that nonsense. I'm here if I like it or not and you are too. The reason we're both still here is because something is keeping us here. You may not know what the fuck that is yet, 'cause I sure as fuck didn't, but with time you really will. It may be to keep watch over delicate friends. It may be to provide entertainment by being a funny motherfucker, it might be there because you're a genius that doesn't know how to communicate with the rest of us idiots. My point is, you're clearly an intelligent person that struggles with emotional bombardment, and treat it like that. Suicide isn't as easy as people say. It takes real guts and my 4 times were a cry for help. I know people that have gone the full way so FFS find something in you that you do actually like, fuck what other people think, and press forward my friend. You've got it in you.

I just want..... a friend...... is that too much to ask for? :/

Same its so hard to make one.

I’m afraid.. I know what to do or where to go or what to say or how to help or how to change or how to exist. lost, confused, sad, angry, frustrated, and just afraid. so afraid.

Hello there, don't worry, you're not alone! It's good you are reaching out in a state of confusion, it's better in a way that it can help you get a grip of things again. Just know you're not alone for now and that I'd like to lend an ear if you feel comfortable to. We're in this together.

It's be great if I had someone to comfort me during my worst times. But then I remember I'm just a hot mess of a person who has too many burdens and would bother others with them anyway. So all I have is venting online to strangers or holding it in. Either way, I don't feel better.

My dear, sometimes you've gotta learn to comfort yourself. I had to recently. All I wanted was someone to just be there and tell me everything is going to be ok. The one person I needed to tell me this, never came. You have to be your own hero. You are a strong human.

Just sitting in my room and existing. What y'all doing?. Yeah so I'm just alone with my thoughts till I fall asleep

Same ! +Crying every now and then.

Man it feels good being a non-functional member in society with no sort of social skills what so ever :^). still planning to kill myself before 30 :)))

ugh let's have some pizza.together

The only person who noticed that something was wrong was I guy I just met.. I was at a party with my friends at one of their friends places. I became EXTREMELY depressed after having a couple drinks. Basically I wanted my life to be over. I was ready to walk outside and get hit by a car. I became very isolated. None of my friends came to my side or even seemed to notice me. But the host of the party came outside and asked me if everything was alright. It was completely insulting that these people I've known for over 10 years didn't come to my side. It was a guy who I knew less than 5 hours who noticed something was wrong...

I know it isn't always possible, but you could try and hang out with other kind of people. I was in a group where I felt really bad because all of them were really judgemental and not close at all. After some time I've started hanging out with a group where I feel really motivated, they're crazily fun and accept me. Best of wishes man :)

My life is a parade of rejections and fuck ups and I just want it to end. Happy suicide prevention day, be sure to link a list of hotlines so you can pat yourself on the back and act sanctimonious.

I get the title but not the text box. What's the deal with the hotline thing?

Does anyone else just count the hours left until it's time to go back to bed?. Only 12 more to go!

I used to watch alot, but i struggle to keep my concentration now. I just end up listening to music all day. any ideas?

Just getting drunk enough to attempt suicide again. Obviously I have no one. Why should I even elaborate?

Just stop brother. Just stop. You have a purpose, find it.

Satisfaction from helping others. realised that when I have to much alone time is when I start to think things over and get awful anxiety or feelings of depression. So therefore if anyone would like a chat or just someone to listen to them here

Helping someone else is often an achievement. - Even if we don't actually help them, we go to the effort to actually do something, with effort, thought, compassion and eagerness to do good. - When everything is hard to do, because C R I P P P I N G D E P R E S S I O N, let us count very victory no matter how small it may feel. Achievements help us to feel a little less shitty - we did a thing! Yay But also when we help others we help ourselves. - We remind ourselves to be positive, we read commends and upboat new ideas, where we may even add them to our own ideology. - To learn about the struggles of others we feel indifferent which is comforting - maybe we arnt as weird and broken as we tell ourselves? TL:DR; I'm rambling because I'm bored and high. Shoot me. Please, ty Also indifferent is the opposite of different right lol tbqh rn fam cbf googling soz yolo

What am I supposed to do. so scared, never going to be good enough, I think I might end up hurting myself, I want to but this feeling is so so so bad, I lost everyone

Hang in there. Spontaneous Remission blesses like an angel. When she comes, there will be new people you love and love you in return. Stick it out. You got this.

Anyone else feel physical pain or discomfort while depressed?. Like in your chest and stomach area?

Yeah, mostly in the chest area. It can be really painful if extremely depressed.

I can't accept that anyone could ever love or care about me. I'm so lonely. I've been feeling awful because I just can't stop losing people in my life. No matter how hard I try, I'm always forgotten, abandoned, and replaced. I don't have any support at all. I'm tired of being lonely, and being lied to.

I feel the same. For years of isolation, now I don't know if I ever will find someone to love me, talk to me.

I wish i could get a hug. A long warm comforting hug from someone that loves me.

guess it depends on what you want :( if you had it, it's like warm sunshine (you just feel really warm and comfortable and safe in the hug -- even if you both are standing outside in freezing winter weather) and then when you lose it you have been dumped in the freaking artic and you are constantly shivering and cold and just wishing that the person can come back and give you another hug even if he doesn't care anymore. feels like the little joy in your life has been extinguished and you have been ordered to return to your robotic, logical, depressing existence if you never had it, everything is very static and numb and getting through life is just a daily chore that you have to complete or else

Is delibratly not sleeping a form of self harm. Im like always tired, but i have these urges to stay up really late so i can be more tired, im kind of getting real fucked off at my brain about it, im just sort of hoping for some ideas about why im thinking that

It absolutely is, but if you're desperate for self-harm, I'd still advise against sleep deprivation as it will make your depression orders of magnitude worse.

What should I do because someone is hurt because of me? Apologizing is not an option.. It's a very stressful feeling.

Why is apologizing not an option? Can you explain the situation a little?

Anyone else suffer from being chronically board. Nothing is interesting and everything seems so blah

Trying to do something but its never what you want it to be like. Distractions work but not for ever, i dont know how long my next one will last. Binge watching netflix is a great one for me, you dont have to think about anything and just get completely emerged in it but even that wont last for long now

Everyday is a success.. I successfully manage to not kill myself.

Every victory is well deserved :)

Temporary mood improvement?. Anyone else sometimes have a better mood temporarily sometimes? Woke up this morning feeling not so bad, had lots of coffee and felt very energetic and up for an hour or so... Starting to slip back down to normal. Anybody else ever feel this way?

Yep, it often feels like a constant struggle to keep up the mood ): Have you tried blasting music and dancing crazily by yourself? That tends to help me prolong the mood for about an hour!

What are your strategies for staying functional enough to complete schoolwork, etc?. Due to feeling like garbage, losing memory/attention, and anxiety, I have trouble doing work for school. Actually, I'm probably just a lazy piece of trash, but the problem still stands. For those who are on top of things: how do you manage it all?

Lots of cannabis, which I can't even use much anymore since I lost my job

Is it normal.... Is it normal to just get random moments of depression that makes you want break up every relationship you have ??

I disagree... I think depression is normal and so is wanting to fuck shit up because you feel like a turd. The hard part is trying to control those feelings.

I.... just always depressed.. I ever think doing the right thing.

Me too..depression clouds our judgment. It gets really hard to think about things clearly. Hate this feeling but it won't go away yet.

Best friend just bailed on going to see my favorite band with me...for my birthday. Somehow I expected this but it still hurts.

Talk to him about it, maybe he forgot it was your b-day or he had an emergency? For better or for worse, talk to him about it and clear it up or else that terrible feeling you currently have is going to stick around for a sometime.

It's not that there aren't any people to help me. It's that I don't think I deserve their help

I always feel awful by bothering other people with my issues, I just feel like such a burden, and sure when you say that to someone they say that it's not the case... but idk I guess people are too busy with their lives, and it's really my fault to be bothered by it so much. Like why do I have the need to want to share my problems, but hide them away at the same time? Man I'm sorry it's such a crappy feeling to have, just feeling undeserving of anything.

I just flunked a test and am having thought of hurting myself. As the title says, I want to chug a bottle of ibuprofen, or hang myself with a belt. I know these are dumb, and air don't want to do it, but I feel like such a worthless waste who should off his useless self.

Test mean literllery nothing. in like 3 years you proballey wont even remember that test

2 of my best friends are depressed, how can I help them?. One of them gets depressed from the pressure of exams, but like short phases which last for a few weeks. The other friend is majorly depressed due to personal reasons and self harms to cope with it. It hurts me to see them like this, what can I do to help?

Keep an eye on them. Check up on them because it always happens when you least expect it. Try to talk to your friend that has personal issues. give advice just tell them your there for them.

What do you hate most about depression?. Probably the blank periods of thought I go through. Completely devoid of emotion and any mental activity. It can last for a good half an hour, really annoying as it's stopped me from reading.

That it has stripped me of a personality. I used to like reading, going to the gym, animals, etc. Now I don't enjoy anything. I'm an empty shell, I don't like anything, I don't hate anything (except myself). I'm just... there. Like a piece of furniture.

I sleep to run away from reality. I slept 16h yesterday. It was so good. I wish I could sleep forever.

Me too! Sleep is awesome. Accept that you do what you enjoy, it just happens to be sleeping. Then stop feeling guilty. Channel what you enjoy. Start a dream journal. Medidate. Go camping and sleep in nature. Find a cuddle buddy or pet and sleep together. Enjoy your hobby!

I give up. Even here, the one place I've actually tried to vent, even among people with similar scenarios, I'm overlooked and forgotten. Fuck it, you win. I don't care anymore. Nobody else does.

Do you? Or are you still here asking for help and gathered the attention of your fellowors and they are insisting they want to listen to you, but you keep denying them. I put it any other selfish. I used to give myself any excuse not to see my friends or family, but it was all debunked by the question they tell you themselves they felt that what I can tell, you really need to work on your negative speech patterns. All-or-nothing thinking, hopelessness, knee-jerk dismissals; these are all habits that depressed people make in their speech that perpetuate their own misery. It takes conscious effort to recognize our speech patterns as poisonous and slowly change not cares, you the one suffering. Recognize that your speech is under your control, and that cries for help can just as easily become lashing out. We love you, but loving us back involves making an effort not to give your worst ramblings air time.

I wish I didn't fucking break down in public two years ago.. Now I'll always be a bitch to society. I will never really be able to live a dignified life.

Why even care what random people think of you? likely go crazy worrying about that stuff

i'm living in hell. hey how about we make some people in the world question everything and make them cry but let's never ever give them an answer to anything and let's make them wish they were dead and let's create horrible diseases and depression because we're fucking sadistic jerks! how about that. -life

Let there be struggles that people face so they can gain strength and have confidence when they overcome.- life

Does anyone find their depression and anxiety disappears late night?. My mornings are the worst. I wake up with anxiety and severe depression which inhibits any productivity. The whole day goes like that well into evening and then at night around 2-3 AM I find it automatically resolves usually every night. Does anyone else also find this?

My favorite time of the day is definitely 11pm-3am

It would mean so much for someone to just notice something is wrong and ask if I'm okay. Just once, I want someone to know I'm spiraling down without me having to pour everything onto them. If they'd just be interested enough in my well being to *ask*...

When I read this, I had to think of a girl in our company. I saw her like 2-3 days a week, always with a sad face. So, one day I just asked her, if everything is allright. She said Yes, of course, thanks. How about you? I answered with I'm fine. But I don't believe you. If you're ok, why can't you smile for just... one moment? She said: ... I never knew, that it was that obviously. No one ever told me that. I answered: I guess plenty of people know that something isn't ok with you, but most people just care about their own shit or just don't know what to say. If you wanna talk... I'm here. She ended the dialouge with Thank you.... And she never wrote me again since then. I felt bad somehow. On the one hand, I just wanted to help, but she refused it somehow or I scared her too much. On the other hand... maybe I just made it worse for her, and that's of course not what I wanted. The human mind is a thing, no one can explain. It's infinite.

What do you do when that voice in your head keeps telling you to kill yourself?. All night long it just keeps ringing in my head, over and over, I get it to shut up. How can I make it stop? I just want it to stop.

I always try to find something to look forward to even if its small like i cant kill myself until i get some soup and just keep finding little things like that

im going to kill myself. i cant handle it anymore, i cant sleep or eat, im just done, anyone have any methods?

Hey man if you ever need to talk to anyone im here. Anytime. I know its not much but people do wanna help and genuinely care.

It's my birthday but it's going to be the same just like any other day. Happy birthday to my birthday twins out there

happy birthday! hope you have a chance to celebrate yourself

Such bad thoughts. All the time. I cant stop them.

Hey two bad thoughs make a right! Or is it two lefts make a right

Does anyone else find it hard to do basic tasks?. For example my room is an absolute pigsty because I just can't find the energy to clean it, my laundry just keeps piling up, and I barely eat because I can rarely force myself out of my room long enough to cook.

Yup, everything is an ordeal.

A poem about my ex. sitting here Fretting over what this idiot thinks This idiot who raped me This idiot who abused me This idiot who has no remorse This idiot who is slow This idiot who is delusional I am sitting here Fretting over what this idiot thinks About me Lol.

Lots of poems in the last couple days, always interesting to get an insight into someones thoughts.

Happy. Is it possible to never be happy?

temporarily but it never seems to last

Weed is beginning to not even help anymore. What do I do now. never mind. it's all irrelevant

Same. I get a weird feeling in my chest and it gets hard to focus. Which is weird because I loved it for 2 years before it started happening, I was known as a stoner and I loved being one. Now I try and avoid it. It gave me some amazing memories I'd love to relive but I just can't smoke without having the weird feeling happen, literally the smallest amount can make me feel weird.

Think of all the reasons you have to live!. 1. My parents would be traumatized if I killed myself That's it. That is the single reason I have for living.

I hate being told that. Do people think we haven't thought about it before?

Struggling with depression and anxiety. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for over 2 years now. It gotten to the point that I can't control it anymore. Suicidal thoughts occur more and more everyday. I want to seek prefessional help for it now, but I'm not sure where to start or where to go.

Can you reach out to any friends or loved ones? Sorry you're going through this, friend

What to expect from Prozac?. Basically title.. Just started on 20mg/day dose.

It did nothing for me me though l was misdiagnosed - l'm actually bipolar. I was on it for around two years in total. I remember that it had very few side effects.

Idk what to do. Idk what to do i feel lonely and no one takes me seriously im ugly and shit what shouldi do im really lost

I like to do healthy or productive hobbies when I feel like that. Sometimes it's all I look forward to in my day and it helps pull me through one day at a time. I think talking to others will help a lot too. If you wanna chat you can PM me.

Came home from work to an empty house. Happy New Year everyone. Thanks for nothing 2015

I'm pretty much done at work but sticking around to avoid the people in my house. 2 sides of the same coin I suppose I hope you have a better year next year

im fucked. im fucked.my whole life is fucked

wanna talk? msg me if ya want. im not gonna tell you what to do or why your life is not fucked. but im someone to talk to and i have been where you are and might understand you, in some way.

Does anyone feels like depression is a gift and teacher. Although depression is annoying and troublesome,but meanwhile it taught me lots of things

taught me one main lesson: Life fucking sucks.

i go between feeling completely fine and wanting to kill myself for completely no reason, i dont know what to do. like it says in the title, one moment everything will be fine and the next i feel an unbearable pain

Same here. I live for my kids and wife. If not for them, I am gone. It crosses my mind at least once a month. Been fighting this for 7 years. Its hard. But pray. It has helped me.

why am i depressed?. why am i depressed? ​

Chemicals in our brains are weird

stuff that I'll never get to do. I'll never get to: be at the same pace as my peers academically or as far as life achievements have enough money to support my interests and hobbies follow my dreams get in a relationship live peacefully find something to look forward to die peacefully

same with me. im already dead from inside. i've stopped giving a fuck about all those false hopes.

You think too much confirms what I've always believed.... Most people think too little.

Yeah. My parents took me to a psychologist when I was a teenager, and that was one of the questions she asked me. I felt two things. 1. How would I know? I don't know what normal is. I only know what my experience is. How would you? How could you even measure that? It's not like there are distinct and separate thoughts you can count, it's just a flow. 2. What kind of terrible precedent does that set? Since when is thinking bad?

Why?. The question i often ask myself...Why? Whats wrong with me?

You're not alone with that.

I hate school. School just reminds me what a failure I am

Yes it can be. I feel the exact same.

Good things are happening, yet I've been on the verge of tears for days.. I've quit an awful job, got my old brilliant job back and just found out I passed an exam vital to progressing in my career. Yet, all I want to do is break down and cry. Maybe it's the weather and dark days. I don't know anymore

I feel this way too. For me, it's a strange feeling because I'm constantly on the verge of the tears but if I try and let myself cry, I can't.

Any older depressed people having trouble keeping house?. I just keep starting to clean and organize and despite medication and feeling better in many other ways, I never get to the energy level I need to get my house back to the way it used to be?

On good days, I start off strong but that little burst of energy last long enough to get much cleaning done.

I'm getting Nitrous Oxide at the dentist for free right now.... And I'm so happy to escape the depression for just a while. God, that's low. Haha. Can anyone relate? Not condoning the use of drugs at ALL. Just my true feelings to escape the hell. Edit: added some stuff.

There are much worse things out there, at least nitrous oxide is safe in reasonable amounts. No need to feel low about it, it hurt you and not addictive. Enjoy it while you can and move on. :)

Everything is anything. good luck to you all with your gaming. but also fuck everyone. even though I hope you will find good things. not that those exist MAKE SURE TO CUT YOUR HAIR WITH YOU TOENAIL CLIPPERS

pugs are weird but pretty okay

For a sec there, I had a spark of energy, hope, etc.. But then I came back to my senses. Silly me. Can't let that happen again.

Why not? Are depressed people not supposed to feel a little hope at times?

Does anyone else hate socialization?. I don't enjoy social contact and try to avoid it when I can. I never enjoy hanging out with any of my friends. Does anyone else have this? Is it depression, bipolar, or social anxiety? Or could it be something else?

I don't but I wish I did :/

Do you ever just look around you and see people so happy and normal and then look how unfortunate your own lonely, depressed self is? Pure envy to be them... Maybe faking it like me.

I either think they are faking and have pain of their own or I think they are airheads who are unaware of reality.

I see people happily celebrating Christmas with their loved ones and I feel happy for them but then I take one look at myself and all I can think of is how I’m just so tired and how much I want to get intoxicated so I can forget about everything. I look forward to New Years either. miserable.

Why Bro? Bad year i know, me too. But why? Have a nice days ;)

Feel like I'm forgetting what enjoyment is. Time with my partner doesn't feel fulfilling, not like it did. Even my zoo job feels routine; I don't do much there, and today, I feel dull to it. I hate this; I don't deserve numbness, I should be grateful for my life. Depression, thieving fucker..

You deserve it! No one does! should yourself, though. Try to roll with it instead of beating yourself down more. You could comfort yourself instead and see what that does.

Should you kill yourself if you have no social life?. Should you kill yourself if you have no social life?

No. Not having a social life isn't a terminal diagnosis. Why kill yourself due to lack of social life if you could eventually obtain one? Life is not pass/fail. It's not about getting a certain grade for social life, or any other aspect of life for that matter. You are not a failure. Not having friends worsens depression, depression inhibits the ability to make friends. It's a cycle that needs to be broken, and I recommend getting medical help to tackle depression. Eventually you will get to a point where it is easier to make/maintain relationships, even if it that progress seems small at first. Keep up the fight.

Do any of you guys get a kick off of telling others you're depressed/suicidal?. And when I say get a kick I mean that by telling someone you want to die it partially satiates your hunger for attention. Your hunger for love.

Unless surrounded by loving people, you The last thing you want is for your happiness to depend on others.

I'm a damn waste of life.. The more I think about it, the more I realize it's the truth. I am a failure and a dissapointment, I can't even make the right choice to commit suicide at which point I'll finally stop being a burden to everyone around me. Would've been better if I'd never been born in the first place, then I would never have become this waste of air and space and I would've never dissapointed my parents like I have. I guess all the years of absolute self hatred were right, I'm a worthless fuck up who should probably just end it all.

There must be something making you feeling this way mate, you just gotta identify it.

It's my birthday today but I feel really fucking lonely.. I have great friends and family that greeted me well wishes and stuff, but I still feel like complete shit. Suggestions?

Happy Birthday, you could try suggesting to your friends/family to play some board games or card games, if you aren't able to do anything with people then you could try mediating to some sounds of the ocean or watch some videos about baby foxes.

i wanna go home, i just dont know where that is. physically i m home but mentally I am not sure where i am.

Yep. All of a sudden the place you call home is stealing every bit of oxygen from you. A place where I took my day off has suddenly turned into a hellhole filled with triggers and layers of depression. Get me out of here

does anyone feel like this?. many people are enjoying this new years eve with their friends,families,lovers and whatever. but me here depressed at home and not feeling like its new year eve and not excited for 2018 and dont have anyone to celebrate with or have friends to wish me new year.

tbh i did not remember it was the 31st today till i was sending a meme about getting drunk and fighting a raccoon for nye . i checked my phone to see when nye would be and i was like oh darn too soon. but im home alone with my cats and theres shitty loud awful music playing in my neighborhood. and it is going to go on all night.:c

When was the last time.... Someone gave you a hug?

If you don't count my mother or family members, about 3 years.

Wrong Planet?. Does anyone else feel like they just were not designed for this world? Does anyone feel like they can love so many people, but that no one who will live you. Because broken and abnormal?

Its my very first time here or any other thread or resource, this is why ill pursue a hand in this issue so thank you. It is the first i read literally and it made me realize im on the right track thinking about support. i feel this exact way every single day isolated, like this world works for some people but i am not able to function in it due to defect of my own and that maybe for me my birth was an error. Its been 5 years or so since i can detect the actual time i started this trajectory and since i lost my job and my life. Traded a career in healthcare for a career in bag chasing.

Why does it feel like everyone would rather be with someone else?. Haven't had a real conversation in a while.

For me, it's because I think I'm a broken bottle of poison. All I do is hurt those around me, so I keep away both spirit and body. Those who care enough to try and help fix me end up getting hurt, and in the end, I'm still just a vial of poison. All I'm capable of doing is hurting others. I'm guessing this type of mindset sorta leaked into everything I do, so I tell myself not only do they do not want to be with me, they are better off for it.

Happy birthday to me. I dont wanna be older i want to end this

Happy birthday my dude. definitely get better, I promise.

I regret not killing myself.. I feel like life isnt worth living, it just keeps on getting worse, i hate everything i just wish suicide was easy.

I agree with what you're saying. What about suicide do you find difficult? Just getting the nerve to actually do it, worrying about the consequences, etc.?